3 comments/ 12879 views/ 0 favorites Average Joe's Army By: PositiveThinker This is a true story about Average Joe and his army celebrating National Nude Day. When a bunch of thugs moved in the neighborhood committing petty crimes and selling drugs and gave Joe, of all people, Average Joe, a hard time while he was out walking his dog, Fifi, a precious 5 pound, white Chihuahua, there was no need to call the police. Joe pulled out his cell phone and made one call. The thugs thought he was calling the cops, but Joe called his army instead. "Go ahead and call the cops, they ain't gonna do nothin'," said one man with an attitude much bigger than 5'7" frame and too impossible for him to defend with his illiteracy. "If they respond at all, it will take them an hour to get here. They're probably all sitting in the donut shop flirting with the waitress. After beating your ass, robbing you, and killing your dog, we'll be gone before they even show up." "This is their shift change," said another angry man. "The rest of those pigs are busy with car accident calls or sleeping in their patrol cars," he said slapping the guy behind him a high five. "Ain't no one gonna help you, sucker. You're all alone." "Look at that dog. I have rats bigger in my apartment than that dog," laughed one of the gang members at Fifi. "So what are you gonna do now that the cops won't come? I say you hand over your wallet, watch, and wedding ring and get off my street," said the first man. "We own this neighborhood now and you're trespassing in our 'hood." Within seconds, emerging and converging from every direction, it didn't take very long for Joe's army to respond and assemble. One at a time, two at a time, and then three and four at a time, suddenly surrounded by angry men within minutes wielding baseball bats and attitudes as big as their sizes, friends of Joe who were loyal to his cause and committed to eradicating the scum and crime from their beloved neighborhood, the thugs suddenly weren't so tough when confronted by Joe's vast army. They tried to flee, but enclosed in the center of a circle of Joe's friends, there was no where for them to run. After having their asses kicked and forcibly and physically removed from the neighborhood and with all their furniture and possessions thrown out on the sidewalk, his community was safe again. After that violent confrontation, it didn't take long for word to spread that Joe's neighborhood was protected by an army. * * * * * After having to defend lawsuits and pay out hundreds of millions of dollars because the Catholic religion harbored and protected pedophile Priests, allowing them to molest more children in new neighborhoods, the Bishops continued their policy of transferring the child molesting priests from church to church, instead of defrocking them, prosecuting them, and disgracing them. Then, finally in fiscal desperation and nearly bankrupt, the Catholic Church tried cutting costs by closing neighborhood churches. When the Bishop wanted to close Joe's place of worship, the church where he was married and his parents were married before him, Joe called upon his army to resist the shutdown. "Father, I can't have you close this church. The community needs it. Some of the older residents don't have transportation to get to the other church that is clear across town. How can you deny them their religion? They've been faithfully attending Mass here every Sunday since they were kids." "I'm just as saddened by this as you are, Joe, but it's not up to me. My hands are tied. It's a directive from the Bishop. I'm sorry. I'll give you his address and, perhaps, you can plead your case to him by writing him a letter or sending him an e-mail." Joe wrote his letter to his Bishop, but he never received a response from His Excellency. He and his army had helped support the church with a new roof and a new furnace, as well as helping with plate collections and special donations to help the poor and the needy over the years. Now, feeling that their plight was falling on deaf ears and that all the financial support was for naught, they called the newspapers and television stations before locking arms and amassing in front of the church to not allow the Bishop to padlock the door. "With all due respect, Your Excellency, you can't close this church. We, the parishioners of this community, forbid it," Joe said while his army closed their ranks. Standing as one and blocking every door, they were an unyielding force of Joe's devoted friends. Deciding to retreat than to have an altercation with Joe's army, an altercation that the Bishop would surely lose and one that would only evoke more bad publicity, the Bishop didn't need another negative headline. The Church had already received enough bad press that adversely affected the reputation of the Catholic Church by revealing more of what the hierarchy of the Catholic religion had done in closing churches to protect pedophile priests. Even though the closing of this one church was a battle they could afford to lose by choosing to allow this church to remain open, the Bishop would eventually win their war of cost cuts by closing another church. The Bishop decided to close a different church in a different community instead, a community that wasn't protected by an army of parishioners and loyal supporters of Joe. "God bless you my son, for your faithful devotion. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen," said the Bishop while giving Joe and his followers the Church's blessing. "Pray in peace." * * * * * When the owner of the appliance store not only refused to honor Joe's warranty and/or give him a refund for a defective air conditioner he had just purchased a month earlier, Joe called upon his army. "You got kids?" "Yeah," said Joe to the man. "Of course I have kids. I'm Catholic." "Then, how do I know your kids didn't break this thing? Look, see, the knobs are all loose," he said jiggling the loose knobs of the air conditioner. "They're not supposed to be like that." "They were like that when I bought it," said Joe already exasperated by the owner's negative attitude. "The salesman told me that is how they come from the factory in China. He said they are all like that," said Joe staring down the owner. "I should never have bought the thing in the first place, but the price was right and I've been trying to shop locally instead of buying from the big outlets. Then, when I did finally regret buying this air conditioner, I should have taken it back then, but I didn't feel like removing it from my window, boxing it all up, and lugging it back here. The last straw was when it died yesterday when the temperature outside was 92." "Sorry, Pal, but you bought this air conditioner more than 30 days ago," said the owner handing the receipt back to Joe after looking at the date. "It's too late to return it. You'll have to take up your claim with the manufacturer." "Listen, now that I look at it out of the box and out of my window, it's obvious to me that it's been dropped. See? There's a dent here and another one on the under side of it. You sold me a defective unit." "How do I know you didn't drop it putting it in your window or taking it out of your window to bring it back here?" "So, you're not going to honor my warranty, even though—" "Warranty? What warranty? Your return guarantee with my store expired two days ago and the manufacturer's warranty doesn't cover customer abuse. Sue me in small claims court, if you want. I can't be giving free warranty service to every Joe blow that walks in here." "I should have listened to my friends and not bought anything here and from you," said Joe getting agitated. "Is this how you do business? Is this how you treat your customers?" "Listen, Pal, if you have a problem with the way that I do business, report me to the Better Business Bureau," said the owner of the store walking away and leaving Joe there to stew. "And if you continue to make a scene in my store, I'll call the police and have you arrested," he said turning around and pointing to the door. "Now, get out of my store and take that pile of junk with you." "Report you? I'll do better than that," said Joe pulling out his cell phone. "And I'm not your, Pal, but I plan on calling all those who are my friends," he said calling after the man while making his calls. It was a small problem, a petty thing, but it was something that powerless people confront daily and Joe was angered by the owner's disrespect and total disregard of customer service. As it turns out, this store had developed quite the reputation of screwing their customers by selling them defective merchandise and not allowing them to return it. Had the store not given Joe such an attitude of rude defiance and disrespect by telling him to sue them in small claims court, and/or to report them to the Better Business Bureau, and threatened to call the police on him, he may have not bothered calling his army, but he was glad he did. Joe was angry and decided to fight them on behalf of the little guy who doesn't have an army to support him. Joe's army of mothers with children and men of white and blue collars filled the store and the sidewalk outside. The police were called (some were members of Joe's army, too) and reporters (more members of Joe's army) arrived with their satellite trucks wanting to know the reason for the mob scene. It wasn't worth the bad press of having so many of Joe's followers, people who would certainly shop elsewhere, than not to give Joe the service that he had paid to get. The store gave Joe a better and more powerful air conditioner at no charge. They even offered significant discounts to all those who had turned out to support their self-righteous leader. After the people of the neighborhood boycotted the store, the store closed within six months. * * * * * When Joe lost his job at the factory, laid off due to a bad economy, he called upon his army to help him in his employment search in finding a new job. A super network of friends who were white collar and blue collar, management and staff, factory workers, service workers, educators, government workers, and business owners, with Joe's resume in hand, as if they were asking for jobs for themselves, they all asked around on his behalf. "Hey, my friend, Joe, is looking for a job, do you have any openings?" "I know a guy, Joe is his name, and he's looking for a job. He's a good guy, a family man. Hell, yeah, he's experienced. Here's his resume." His army of friends kept their ears and eyes open for employment opportunities for Joe. With dozens of people scanning want ads and searching online databases, Joe felt confident on finding employment. Certainly, it was better for his friends to beat a hundred bushes than for Joe to beat just the one. "What's that? You're looking for someone to hire? Do I know someone? Yeah, I sure do. My friend, Joe, would be perfect for this job." Before Joe could even collect his first unemployment check, his friends helped him find a job within a couple of weeks. Moreover, it was a better job that paid more money and had better benefits than his old job. Grateful to his network of friends, Joe never could have found this job without the help of his army. * * * * * When Joe's daughter needed surgery and needed blood donated, Joe called upon his army. His army of friends donated more blood than the hospital needed and could use. "Hello? Yeah, I'm calling for Joe. His daughter is having surgery and the hospital needs blood. Joe needs our help. Can you get down to the hospital and donate some blood in the name of his daughter?" "Sure, no problem," said the man at the other end. "Hello, I'm calling for Joe. It's his daughter. She needs an operation. Can you donate some blood for her?" "Of course, just tell me where to go," said another member of Joe's army. There was so much blood donated that the hospital sold the excess blood and applied the money they made from the sale of the excess blood to lower Joe's co-payment for procedures and medication that his daughter needed. Ordinarily, unbeknownst to most people, hospitals do this all the time, sell blood to other hospitals, but they never credit those who donated the blood in the name of the patient by lowering their co-payments. Yes, of course, when donating blood for a specific patient in need of blood, they credit you with the blood towards the blood they use for the operation, but that's all. In Joe's case, with so much blood donated, they reduced his bill by several hundred dollars. A hospital can only store so much blood for so long, so either they dump it or sell it. The hospitals don't want donors to know that they make money from selling their donated blood. Only, the hospital administrator was one of Joe's friends and a proud member of Joe's army. It amazed the hospital staff that so many of his friends turned out to donate blood on behalf of his sick daughter. Certainly, it was a win/win situation for everyone and being witness to the line of people waiting to donate their blood was gratifying to see. "The Red Cross doesn't get as much of a response when they advertise the need for blood as Joe received by calling upon his army," said the Head Nurse. Because of his friends helping out by donating their blood and wishing and praying for her swift recovery, his daughter made it through the operation and recovered fully. * * * * * When Joe's Mom needed help after her house burned to the ground, Joe's army made the calls on Joe's behalf. Too overwhelmed and too busy in helping and consoling his mother, he had no idea that his army of friends had taken over in his family's time of need. He was too embroiled in his mother's tragedy and emotional upheaval to even take the time to ask for their help. His mother was devastated. She lost everything. She had fifty years of memories in the house, a wealth of irreplaceable photos, keepsakes, and antique furniture that had been passed down to her by her mother and grandmother. "As if I never existed, I feel as if my most precious memories were erased," she confided to Joe while crying. Meanwhile and behind the scenes, Joe's army was awaking to the sad reports of the tragic house fire. Telephone call after telephone call, the members of his army e-mailed one another and discussed the latest neighborhood news with one another while planning what to do to help. "That house that burned down last night was Joe's mother's house." "Oh, my God, it was, no way. Tell us how we can help." And it was like that with every telephone and cell phone call and e-mail notification to every person of Joe's army. His friends gave his Mom a place to stay, clothes to wear, and food to eat while those other skilled members of Joe's army built her a new house, a better house than the one that had been consumed by fire. Those who could not be there physically sent their checks donating their money to Joe's Mom. With many of the materials needed to build the house donated by the members of Joe's army, the house was literally built for free. Within a couple of months, she was home again. * * * * * Now the matter before the City Council was to pass an ordinance that made National Nude Day illegal in their city. An unusually hot day, nearly one hundred degrees, the controversy started last year when a few of the town's residents, members of Joe's army, stripped naked in the public park and waded and frolicked through the fountain. Figuring they'd get off with a warning when confronted by the police, instead of saying they were just hot, they defended their bizarre actions by proclaiming that they were celebrating National Nude Day. Putting a bad spin on a good holiday, they blamed their need for public nudity on National Nude Day. This small town wasn't ready for big city problems and in this closed minded bedroom community; there was no room for nudity in their code of ethics or civil liberties. Had the violators said they were just hot and put their clothes on when the police arrived, they would have been given a citation and it would have been over already. The fact that the nude streakers made an issue of it meant that they were arrested and charged with indecent exposure and lewd behavior in a public place. Now, normally, had it ended there what had happened to a few naked people last year would have been long forgotten and everything would have been fine. Unfortunately, the City Council, hoping to avoid another public display of nudity by flexing a little legislative muscle, took it upon themselves to make the act of celebrating National Nude Day illegal. Now with headlines spread across the newspapers in this town and surrounding towns and telecast on radio talk shows and news stations, the whole debacle was made into a blown out of proportion issue that divided the town in two. There were those who believe in the right to celebrate National Nude Day, even if they don't believe in nudity, and there were those against celebrating that as a holiday, even though they believed in nudity. Those for nudity were willing to strip off their clothes to make a public statement and those against nudity were ready to make a citizen's arrest and call the police. If nothing else, it brought the town together in their right to disagree. As the City Council had suggested by passing an unjust ordinance, it wasn't the mere fact that decent people don't strip off their clothes and appear naked in public; it was a bigger issue than that. It was more about freedom and the right to strip naked on National Nude Day, if people so desired. One day that was unofficially assigned to public nudity for those who wanted to celebrate it should not be so outlawed. This is America, God damn it, and we are free people. Joe fought in Viet Nam to have the right of that freedom and other members in Joe's army fought in WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, the Gulf War, Afghanistan, and the Iraq War. Yes, of course, it says nothing in the Constitution nor in our Bill of Rights that we have the right to get naked in public on National Nude Day or on any other day, but if we want to do that and if we aren't hurting anyone while gathering and assembling in one central location to get naked, why the Hell not? If you don't like it and if nudity offends your sense of propriety and sensibilities, then don't look. Matter of fact, if nudity offends you, then avoid walking by that area on that day and time when so many are celebrating National Nude Day in public. It's time that America's puritanical ethic values are replaced by a broader and more socially sophisticated and accepted opinion regarding nudity. The people of this country need to adopt the open minded attitudes that are held by so many other countries around the world regarding nudity. Not counting the Middle Eastern countries when regarding the nudity of their women, nudity is no big deal anywhere else, but in America. Why are we all so uptight and cloistered by false values in this country? The bigger deal we make out of nudity and the more forbidden we make it by outlawing it, the more of an issue it becomes with sexual deviates who take pleasure in stretching the sexual norms. Joe called upon his army when they wanted to ban books in the library? Ban books? What the Hell is that about? This isn't the 15th century. This isn't Egypt or Iran or China where they ban books and behead writers who dare express their opinions, this is America. Needless to say, the library in Joe's community did not ban any books that day or on any other day. Thanks to Joe and his growing army of supporters our freedom is still intact, even in small town America. Now, certainly a short, fat man, Joe is not a nudist nor is he an exhibitionist, but because the City Council made an issue of it by taking a vote and enacting an ordinance that declared National Nude Day illegal in their city, that was enough to make him take action. Joe called upon his army to gather at the public common on July 14th and strip. Average Joe's Army Sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, friends of friends, and relatives of friends, everyone who were part of Joe's army and those who sympathized with Joe's effort to keep our freedom intact and eradicate the censorship of nudity that was forbidden, taboo, and illegal were assembled to get naked. As one defying unity united against tyranny, they were all gathered to protect our right to celebrate National Nude Day in the nude. Hell, they can't arrest all of us in our act of civil disobedience. Defying unjust laws is what made this country start the American Revolution and win our independence. With newspapers and radio and television stations from around the country and around the world directing their press coverage to this one small community that is taking a stand by rejecting the puritanical values of old and embracing the sophisticated sensibilities of a modern society, other communities awaited the outcome before challenging the laws and ordinances in their communities. With his interviews being carried worldwide, Joe was suddenly an overnight celebrity. There were book offers and movie deals. Vendors and advertisers looking to make a quick buck sold Joe's image and that of his army on t-shirts, balloons, and other trinkets that were sold at fairs, circuses, and carnivals. Joe hired an agent to field the requests for his personal appearance times for national news shows and syndicated talk shows. His agent registered the name, Average Joe, as his trademark and started a corporation, named, what else, Average Joe, to shelter the income expected he'd make in his entrepreneurial venture. By removing his clothes and casting aside his inhibitions, one man against censorship, Joe hoped to shine the spotlight on how ridiculous this issue of nudity was. One small man making a statement against censorship reminded us of how this country began. Average Joe took a stand for the betterment of all so as to reinforce how we all should live, free and with inalienable rights. "God bless America," he said before addressing and answering anyone asking him a question. In his fifteen minutes of fame, just as Joe the Plumber became an instant celebrity during the last presidential campaign between Senator McCain and Senator Obama, Average Joe became the voice for the average American man when the question of nudity was posed against censorship and our right to live freely. Suddenly, a marketing campaign sprung up with Average Joe clothes, even underwear, and Average Joe cereal, puffed rice with cinnamon, nuts, and raisins. Next to G. I. Joe in the toy section was an Average Joe doll. At a time when a bad economy was not giving people much hope for a better and a brighter future, Average Joe was suddenly the biggest thing to hit America. Average Joe instantly became the litmus strip voice of every politician who needed to test the temperature of the American public by first getting Average Joe's opinion. The President even invited him to the White House and a radio station gave him an Average Joe talk show. Average Joe suddenly found himself on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here and later, interviewing other celebrities at the Oscars, baseball players at the World Series, and football players at the Super Bowl. Back when Average Joe was just an average man, before he became a household celebrity, he was just a friendly guy. Joe isn't an army of one. He's an average man who has an army of friends. Imagine what it'd be like to have an army of friends, people who will watch your back, help you in your time of need, and friends who you can call upon at any time and ask for their help, as they can do with you. There are two camps of people in regarding others as friends. There are those who enjoy having a lot of friends and there are those who are happy to be alone with their bad selves. Who needs friends? You do. We all do and the more the better. There's a lot of responsibility being responsible for an army of friends and Joe never takes his responsibility of friendship lightly. He's thankful for having such an army of faithful followers to call upon whenever he needs backup and support and he never abuses his army of friends by taking advantage of their friendship. Joe likes having his army of friends. His army of followers and supporters empower him. Joe is a nice guy. Everyone likes him. He has a lot of friends, an understatement, ergo his army of people who will drop everything, anytime, to come to his rescue. Likewise, Joe comes to their aid, as well, whenever and wherever needed. Certainly, he doesn't fly back and forth across the country or around the world for that matter to help those friends who are in need of his help. He doesn't have the time or the resources to do that. Yet, he doesn't have to do that. Along with his Blackberry, the Internet is his main communication device. The Internet is his command center of operations where he can mobilize his army of friends and direct them where to do what is needed to be done on behalf of his friends. Instead of being there in person, he just calls upon his friends, his army of supporters to be there in his place, and his friends become their friends and vice versa. And so it goes as it grows, a mushroom cloud of friends, making new friends who are all still devoted to Joe. Without fail, there are always a few dozen of Joe's friends who lived close by to those needing a friend and a helping hand. "Hi, I'm Joe's friend," is all that is needed for them to say. "Joe said you needed help. What can I do to help?" It's this network of friends that makes it all work. Joe's army reaches out to include his friends as their friends, even though they've never met. So, why do they do it, why would they help a stranger who isn't even their friend? Well, that's the beauty of it. Working in the way of FaceBook, because both parties are in Joe's network of friends and both are Joe's friend, that premise helps his network to root, stem, and branch out much like a tree. Moreover, they know, when it comes their time that they need a friend, someone will be there for them, too. Call it a policy of friendship insurance. It's gratifying to know that you never have to go through life alone. Yeah, sure we all have relatives and friends, but imagine a network of friends, a vast army of your supporters, that can be mobilized to help you through a special problem, a problem that they have had the exact same experience with to know what to do in this special circumstance, a circumstance that is unfamiliar and/or frightening to you. That network of friends to call upon is immeasurable. Whether it is needing someone to talk to or someone to ask a question of or to, figuratively and/or literarily, sit and hold your hand while you are going through a personal crisis, Joe's army will help you fight your battles for you to win your personal war. There are a lot of people like Joe, the only real difference between Joe and other people is, when Joe made a friend, he kept a friend. With that said, all of us, any one of us, could have an army of our own of friends, if we so wanted it and if we valued people and friendship in the way that Joe does. It's a lot of work to maintain such an army, keeping in contact, and maintaining updates on all your friends. Yet, being human, what else must we do that is so important rather than to keep in close contact with our friends. Take a moment to imagine all the people who you ever met in your lifetime. Seriously, reflect back on everyone you ever met from kindergarten through elementary school, junior high, high school, college, and all those people you met at every job you ever worked. That's right, visualize them. Concentrate, can you see their faces? Can you hear their voices? It's a lot of people, isn't it? It's more people than you would have imagined had I not told you to take the time to think about them. Now, imagine how massive your army would have been had you befriended all of those people, maintained a relationship, and kept them as your friends. You'd have hundreds of friends, perhaps, thousands of friends. C'mon, you're human; don't you ever wonder where those people you once knew and who were part of you life are and what they're doing now? Are they dead or alive? Who'd they marry? What are they doing for a living? Have they changed much since you knew them or are they still the same? Well, none of these are unanswered questions for Joe; he's still in contact with all his old classmates. They are still his friends. Yeah, I know, imagine the funeral this guy will have. Just as all the funerals he's attended to pay the last respects to his departed friends, they'll be a procession of motor vehicles stretched for miles snaking their way through the city streets to the church and then to the burial ground. Now, let's branch out a bit by adding in your sister's friends, your brother's friends, your relatives, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of their friends and you have a decent amount of people that you already know, have already met, and that know who you are. Only, we're not nearly done, yet. Let's put some leaves on your tree by adding in all those people who you made small talk with and befriended at the gas station while pumping gas, the post office while waiting to buy postage, at the bank while waiting in line, at the supermarket roaming the aisles, at the beach while enjoying the day, at the airport getting ready to head off to vacation and those you met on the plane, those while you were on vacation, and those at the airport when returning from vacation. Yes, I understand, of course; who talks to people at the gas station, the post office, the bank, the supermarket, the beach, the airport, and everywhere? Well, Average Joe does and all it takes is to say, "Hi, I'm Joe. What's your name?" Do you remember how good you felt the first time you watched It's A Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart playing George Bailey opposite Donna Reed playing Mary Bailey? Do you remember when all his friends came to his aid and rescued him at the end of the movie to help him through his financial, personal crisis? That was gratifying wasn't it and is probably why you watch it year after year? You're not human if you didn't get a bit misty eyed during that part of the movie and you'd be lying if you didn't admit that you wished you had as many friends as George Bailey had during his time of need. Well, that's what Joe's life is like nearly every day. Wouldn't you love to have an army of friends like that? I bet your life would be a lot easier if you had an army of friends. Certainly, it would be richer emotionally and spiritually. Definitely, you'd be a wealthy person having so many friends and you'd never be lonely, that's for sure. The most important thing to know to maintain an army of friends is that you need to learn to listen and care about what you are hearing the other person say, as much as you need to talk to tell them what you need to say and them to know. Yes, of course, we all know how to listen, but do you really listen or are you busy formulating your thoughts and thinking about what you are going to say next, while your friend is still talking? If you are not listening to what they have to say nor are you interested in what they are telling you, then you're not being much of a friend. If you're interrupting, you're not listening. If you're talking, you're not listening. If you're talking over them or talking as soon as they stopped talking, then you haven't listened carefully enough to process, understand, comprehend, and to remember what they just said. We all discount the listening process because we all want to talk. Too often, we feel that we are more important than the speaker and what we have to say is more important than what we must hear before we can talk. In fact, if we listened, we'd discover that what we are hearing is just as important as what we need to say and that the speaker is just as important as we are. Yet, the listening process is what we need to learn. Learning to listen helps us in what we need to know to say next. Moreover, when we show that we're good listeners by showing that we are listening to what the speaker is saying more people will listen to what we have to say. Learning to listen is not an inherited skill but an acquired one. Think about it. How many conversations can you recall immediately after you just had them? If you can't recall any conversations, then you weren't thinking about what the speaker just said; you were thinking more about what you just said or what more you needed to say. Try to remember what someone just said. That's a telling experiment to know if you were paying attention to what your friend had to say. It's a way to learn if you are a good listener or not. As an experiment with your next conversation try listening without speaking and without thinking about what you want to say. Just focus on what the speaker is saying and take the time to process what they just said. Now, what did they just say? You don't know because you weren't listening. What you wanted to say was more important than what they were saying. What you wanted to tell the speaker was more important than what the speaker was telling you. Both of you have missed out on a conversation. Both of your words have fallen on deaf ears because neither one of you were listening. In essence, you were talking to yourselves and imparting information that you already knew without learning anything new. Whenever Joe has a conversation, it's always a two way street and, always, he takes a part of them with him by thinking about what they just said after leaving them. After his friend has spoken, Joe remains silent to process and understand what was just said before replying in kind. Most people have the talking part down pat, but they don't have the time to listen or to care to know any more about the person to whom they are talking. Allow me to give you a simple example of a typical exchange at work, in school or on the street. "Hi, how are you?" "Good and you?" They're done with the conversation and you are, too. They've already disappeared around the corner without waiting for your response and you've gone your way in the other direction. Now, they are too far away to even hear your response, if one is even given or has answered with a response of their own or even cared enough what the other had to say. How does that make you feel? Certainly, without doubt, they are not your friend nor are you their friend to accept that kind of uncaring behavior. Why bother saying anything? Why not just avoid eye contact? Pretend that you don't even see them. Hey, what the Hell, bump their shoulder and knock them to the ground. Not acknowledging their question is just as rude and insulting as what just transpired by walking away without waiting for their response. What if there had been something really important you wanted them to know? "My dog died. I have cancer. They just fired me...and you. Hello? Is there anyone there? Hey, where'd you go?" Now, instead, if you just stopped and took a few seconds out of your valuable life to listen long enough to hear how the person you just passed by is really doing, you may learn something that could help you later in your life. Why not? We are all people traveling the same path. You are no more important than the next person. What they have to tell you is just as interesting as what you need to say. By showing people that you care and are willing to take the time to hear what they are saying by listening, they are more apt to give you the mutual respect by listening to what you have to say. Try it. It works. Certainly, you don't want to spend your day talking to your co-workers. Your boss will think you are not very productive. Yet, by taking the few extra seconds to listen and process what someone has just told you will, no doubt, teach them to do the same when listening to what you have to say. Allow me to ask you a question? Why so glum? Why are you hiding behind your frown, your big hat or baseball cap, and your sunglasses? You're not in the Witness Protection Program are you? Then, why dress to be so invisible? Who are you to be so private when appearing out in public? Cat got your tongue? You don't have anything to say, not even so much as a hello? This is your chance to make a friend. Go ahead. Don't be shy. You just need to smile and say, "Hi." See? Wasn't that easy? No one shot you in the face. Don't you feel better? Being a person himself, Joe likes people. Matter of fact, he prefers being with and talking to people than he prefers doing anything else. After all, he is a person, a member of the human race. Why wouldn't he prefer talking to people, one of his own kind, rather than talking to, say, an animal, a cat or a dog? Think about it. How much time do you spend talking to your pet? Yeah, sure, it's good to bond with your pet, it's therapeutic, but you begin to have a social problem when you prefer your pets to people, as too many people do. Some of these people hide behind their pets and become so misanthropic that they actually go out of their way not to talk to anyone. Do you really expect Fluffy or Buster to answer you or even understand anything beyond their 2-year-old mentality of comprehension? If you ask me, you're getting the raw end of the deal trying to have a conversation with your pet when they only care about food and eliminating their waste. Joe devotes all of his time in not only cultivating friends but also in keeping friends and it's more difficult by a long shot to keep a friend than it is to make one. Think about that. Imagine never being bored. Imagine having a wealth of people to ask and answer a question that you need answered. Imagine having a friend everywhere you go and never being alone. Can you hear me now? Yeah, Joe has his own Verizon network of family and friends, only so much bigger and so much more loyally devoted to him. Indeed, there is something special about Joe. He enjoys being ordinary and in that regard has become extraordinary because so many people believe that they are special after having had a conversation with Joe and he is special to have made them feel that way. Yet, they are no better than anyone else and that's what comes across when talking with Joe. He's the type of guy who can find common ground with anyone rich or poor, educated or illiterate, and angry or kind. People are relaxed and are themselves when talking to Joe. Average Joe is non-judgmental. He's accepting. Because Joe accepts people and accepts whatever they say as the truth, after a while, there are no pretensions getting in the way of two people having an honest conversation and a healthy discussion while maintaining a give and take dialogue. There's a warm inner glow when you've had a good day and a good time conversing with people. You can't put a price tag on friendship and a healthy exchange of communication. When talking to someone, especially when talking to a stranger before making them your friend, you're imparting your knowledge and listening to their experiences. There is a wealth of information that both of you take away just from a simple exchange of dialogue. How nice is that and it's free, too? No one can quite put their finger on it, but they like Joe, as soon as they meet him. Yeah, Joe's a talker, but he's a listening, too, and he's not a liar. Everything he says is the truth. Why not? He has nothing to hide. Besides, you can't possibly start and continue a friendship on lies, half truths, and deception. Some mistake him for a spiritual man. He could have been that, but he's not. Not that he doesn't believe in God, he does, he just enjoys meeting and talking to people. He just wants to make you his friend. Average Joe's Army From what I've written you may have the impression that Joe is a blabbermouth or an air headed type of man who doesn't have a life and who goes around interacting with anyone and everyone. I can assure you that people seek him out as much as he seeks out people. He has an aura about him that attracts those in need of a friend because he is accepting and kind, interested in and listening to what they have to say. It's easy to like Joe. He's just an average guy who has become truly remarkable being average. That day, National Nude Day, Joe's army of followers gathered at the public park. It was a well represented gathering of women and men, mothers with children, people on their lunch hour taking time from work, and a diverse mix of salespeople, teachers, doctors, lawyers, and business owners. Joe's army was there to not only support Joe but also to celebrate National Nude Day. It was just one day where they all could not only be free of their clothes but also free of their inhibitions. If a photo had been taken overhead from a height high enough to not discern detail, the photo would have shown a field of white, yellow, red, and brown. A field of naked humans taking the time out of their busy lives to celebrate one day the same way that they entered it, naked and without clothes to get in the way of who they are and who they think they are. Indeed, what they all were that day, were friends. All of them were members of average Joe's army.