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Appointment in Balmorhea

By: lukeadams



Balmorhea Springs, Texas, May 25,1985, 3p.m.

The grass pressed against Ernesto's back while he gazed up at a blue sky dotted with white pillows. Nearby, children played Marco Polo in the two acre spring-fed artesian pool, that rested on the edge of 46 acres dotted with cottonwood trees. Ernesto could almost reach and grab the foothills of the Davis Mountains, in southwest Texas.

Ernesto Sanchez was a good Catholic. He would go to heaven. But, he would rather spend eternity here, at Balmorhea Springs, Texas.

Ernesto had spent time in large towns, including El Paso and Fort Worth, Texas. He was tired of fiestas. All that singing in heaven would get on his nerves. He once loved to be the center of attention. Now he avoided large crowds, and did not want to be part of an angelic chorus. He had worked for three good men, Tom Andrews, Jim Ed Andrews Sr., and Jr. He did not have to go to heaven to finally meet people of good character.

But, Ernesto wanted to see his late beloved wife Maria again. Perhaps he could spend a day up there now and then, beyond the blue sky.

The rest of eternity he would spend here, drinking beer, eating tamales and cantaloupe, and listening to the laughter and splashing of children in the small lake-sized pool.

The Mescalero Apaches called the cottonwood trees waving above Ernesto the loving trees. He wondered why.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  

Andrews Ranch, near Marfa, Texas, between Big Bend National Park and Davis Mountains, February 1956

Ernesto loped his brown mare toward the two story white frame main house, built in the 1920s. From Hermalinda's white wooden cross, water recently sprayed by her dripped onto the crepe myrtle. Ernesto wrapped the reins one time around a post and grinned at the plant.

"If a crepe myrtle takes root in this part of the country, that buys the planter fifty years of good luck, "Tom Andrews told ten year old Ernesto. The boy was digging a hole for the plant.

Many years later, middle-aged Tom clutched his chest, by the crepe myrtle, feeling his third heart attack. Ernesto helped Tom up to the porch. Tom's wife and their only child Jim Ed were attending a relative's wedding in San Angelo.

"We've had some fine times together, uh, Ernesto?"

Ernesto grabbed Tom's hand. "Yes we have, Mr. Tom. You hold on. We will have some more good times." Then Tom died.

Now, thirty years old, a 5-10,160 pound, medium colored Ernesto whistled as he marched the sidewalk, onto the porch, and opened the screen door.

According to crepe myrtle lore, he had thirty years of good luck left.

Jingling spurs on the hardwood floor flushed the thick, middle-aged Hermalinda from the kitchen. She stared mournfully at Ernesto and shook her head.

"Hijo! Jim Ed was in pretty good shape when he left our campfire last night. He had two, three beers at the most," Ernesto said, ending with the lilt of a question, the way many Hispanics do.

"I peeked in his room. It looks like he killed a half a bottle of Scotch," Hermalinda answered.

Switching to Spanish, Ernesto said "Fix him some of your wonderful bacon and egg tacos. That and your smile will do wonders for him. And make me a couple, too."

"Didn't Maria feed you this morning?" Hermilinda was smiling.

"That was hours ago. Besides, I am a growing boy. Plus, you are the best cook north of Monterrey. And make some of your fabulous coffee. " Ernesto gave a dramatic sweep of a hand, with his palm down. He smoothed his moustache with his middle finger and wiggled his eyebrows.

Hermalinda grinned even wider. The inside joke was that Jim Ed and ranch foreman Ernesto insisted on the house coffee being like range coffee-coffee grounds boiling in the water, and later cold water added to settle the grounds on the bottom.

Ernesto passed the standing grandfather's clock in the hall, clomped up the stairs and barged into a west bedroom.

"Rise and shine, you are burning daylight!" He marched over to a window, raised it, and opened the blinds.

Blond headed Jim Ed groaned, and threw a forearm across his eyes. "God, there is a brown devil in my room. Please send him straight to hell."

Ernesto chuckled. "Ha. I assure you that I am on good relations with the Almighty. You will spend extra time in Purgatory for that remark." Ernesto turned and gazed through the window at the corral, to see if young Paco was loafing.

With exaggerated effort, Jim Ed pulled his left leg off the bed. He managed to raise his 6-2, 210 pound solid frame on the bed's side. He rested his elbows on his thighs, with his face in his hands. He squinted at the window. "If you think my eyes look bloodshot, you should see them from my side. Did Junior make it to the bus?"

Again, Ernesto chuckled. He walked up to Jim Ed with a slight smile and his hands on his sides. "Yes. Hermalinda took him. It is past eight o'clock. Now, get up."

Jim Ed coughed. "Did ya'll start without me?"

Ernesto knew that Jim Ed was disappointed to miss the start of the dehorning. It was bloody, dirty work. But, it was one of the things that reminded Jim Ed that he was a fifth generation Texas cattle rancher.

"Yes. We had no choice. But be glad we are doing the mixed locals first. If we started on the South or West Sections, you would have missed even more. Hermalinda is cooking some breakfast tacos for you. You eat them and you will be ready to go."

Jim Ed stared at the wall a moment. Then he lurched for the bathroom. The thought of food did not set well. On one knee, he puked into the toilet.

"You are not the only man whose wife died on him. Even a young wife at that," Ernesto remarked from the door.

Jim Ed held up a hand, as if to say he did not want to hear it today.

Ernesto went to the window and checked on Paco again. He noticed a hawk circling, looking for one of their laying hens. Ernesto smiled. To get the best piece of a chicken, you have to be a rooster.

Jim Ed was recovering, wrestling with a shirt.

Ernesto said, "This is the weekend that Marfa is having the get together with the movie stars. I will introduce you to the beautiful Sena Miller."

"I don't give a damn about meeting any movie stars," Jim Ed answered.

Jim Ed and Ernesto grinned at each other. In unison, both said "Movie stars? I don't need any stinking movie stars!" They loved to paraphrase the bandit's line from The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

Ernesto turned serious. "I need to get back. Don't come until you are up to it. You don't want to lose one of these." He held up his right hand, showing off the missing last two digits of his ring finger and his missing little finger. The neck bar-yoke of a Turner squeeze chute eliminated Ernesto's fingers like a good butcher. Ernesto hopped like his boots were avoiding bullets. Sometimes, around the campfire, Jim Ed imitated dancing Ernesto, to the delight of the other cowboys.

"The beautiful and famous Sena Miller does not need to see you with a bandage on your hand," Ernesto added.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

Big Texan was the biggest movie epic adapted from a novel since Gone With The Wind.  The role of Jessie Mae, the leading lady character, had been the most sought after and publicized part since the casting for Scarlett O'Hara.  Twenty eight year-old Sena Miller, an early favorite, for her beauty, experience, and acting chops, still had to fight like a tiger for the role.

On location for a month now, the beautiful, busty, five-four brunette was pleasantly pleased with this part of Texas. The shooting location around Marfa stood at the same altitude as Denver. The director kept trying to capture the area's spectacular sunsets-one reason the crew would serve a few months on location. The topography was beautiful [the early parts of a much later film, No Country For Old Men, were filmed near Marfa-including the part where the Josh Brolin character approached a drug deal gone bad]. The area reminded Sena of southern Colorado.

The locals were friendly and interesting.

Sena finished a letter to her seven year-old daughter, Sierra. Deep laughs scattered like buckshot from outside her trailer. Sena emerged, to find a handsome Latin type, who favored movie actor Cesar Romero.

The principal supporting actor fretted over what to do with his hands in a scene. Someone suggested to Jim Greene that he toy with a lariat. Another suggested he watch local ranch foreman Ernesto Sanchez, best friend for many locals, who performed rope tricks for the crew.

Sena found Ernesto resting in a chair with "Jim Greene" printed across the back, surrounded by men who were laughing their butts off. Ernesto had one ankle on his knee. He twirled a spur. Jim said "Sena, ask Ernesto if he has met Pancho Villa." Sena folded her arms, strolled slowly over, and cocked her head. "Well, did you meet Pancho Villa?"

"I will tell you as if it were my father speaking. He is the one who met the famous outlaw." Ernesto shook himself, and cleared his throat, as if he were readying himself for a mighty effort. He tilted his gray hat back. Sena noticed the sweat stains on the hat. Ernesto spoke with only a trace of an accent. But, for this performance, he spoke as someone not used to English, like Speedy Gonzalez, the cartoon character.

"I crouched by a stream, and cupped water to my mouth with my hand. I heard something, and looked up. A man wearing a big sombrero on a big, black horse stood across the stream, a few feet away. Something hit my chest. I looked down. The man had thrown a dead lizard at me.

The man laughed and said 'I am Pancho Villa. I want you to eat that lizard.' I could barely see his face. The sun was in my eyes, directly behind him. I looked at him like he was a crazy man. He pointed his pistol at me. He stopped smiling. The man said 'If you want to live, eat the lizard.' So, I bit the lizard.

The man laughed so hard that he almost fell off his horse. Between his tears, he holstered his pistol."

Ernesto very slowly stood up. Then he quickly pulled an imaginary pistol from a holster, and pointed it towards Sena.

"Then I pulled my gun. I pointed my pistol. I placed the lizard in his lap. I said 'I don't care if you are Pancho Villa. If you want to live, you will eat this damn

lizard.' I was so mad, that I truly meant it. He slowly brought the lizard to his mouth. ' Go ahead, you son of a bitch. If you do not eat the lizard, you will die.' He ate the lizard. He cried between bites."

Ernesto looked around and paused, for effect. "So, you want to know if I have met Pancho Villa? Hell yes! Pancho and I had lunch together!"

Jim Greene staggered like a drunk, holding his belly as if gutshot, as he did in his final scene in Big Texan. Tears streamed down his face. The old character actor Cold Wells leaned on Ernesto. "Haw, haw, haw, haw, haw. That is really good, son, really good." Cold called everyone son.

Jim wiped the tears from his eyes. "Tell Sena about Grandma's whorehouse."

Ernesto smiled at Sena. He bowed slightly, extended his hand, and smiled.  "Perhaps another time. I am Ernesto Sanchez. It is a great pleasure to meet you."

He was one of the most charming, handsome men Sena had met.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  _

Sena noted the irony, given her beauty and fame, that she had misfortune with men. Her luck had changed, she thought, when leading man Nigel Hawthorne pursued her. Sena was in love for the first time. Their daughter Sierra was born nine months to the day after their well attended wedding in Bel Air.

But, Nigel always perked up when a new makeup girl landed on his set. He also panted after the young waitresses at the same café where Lana Turner was discovered. 

Sena's last makeup sex with Nigel was eight months before she came to Texas. The day after the makeup, a nineteen year-old banged on Sena's door, looking for Nigel. Days later, Sena filed for divorce.

Sena looked forward to being on location in Texas, or anywhere really, to get away from Hollywood for awhile. The only bad thing was separation from seven year-old Sierra. But the girl liked school and her nanny.

Now, Sena was horny. She needed to be rode hard. But, the Big Texan leading man was gay. Sena suspected Jim Greene was, too. In the back of her mind, she had hoped, when she accepted the role, she would meet a Texan like the lead character in the novel and the movie, Big Texan- strong, independent, and sexy.

Ernesto Sanchez was all those things. But, Ernesto almost from the get-go talked about his wife Maria. Sena recognized that a roll in the Marfa hay with Ernesto would not happen, unless Maria was very understanding.

Still, she looked forward to Ernesto's semiweekly visits to the set. Jim Greene soon figured out how to fiddle with a rope, but the actors used Ernesto for other things. Sena felt better being around Ernesto. He was supercharged with energy and optimism. Ernesto introduced Sena and Jim to the Old Borunda Café, where she regrettably gained a couple of pounds. 

One day Jim and Cold Wells were held up. Ernesto and Sena went alone. Sena's eyes filled with tears. "My divorce became final two days ago. I found out about an hour ago."

Ernesto shook his head with sympathy, but said nothing. 

  "I am sorry for the tears. It just hit me that I failed at being married. Seeing those papers somehow made me admit it."

He looked around. He chose his words carefully. "We all fail at something. I made mistakes in Europe in the War. We all did. "

He leaned over and shielded his mouth with his hand, as if his next words were shameful. "I won't admit this to anyone but you, but I have been bucked off by a couple of horses that should have been pulling a milk wagon."

Sena smiled and dabbed a tear. Ernesto grabbed her hand.

"Miss Sena, you are a very good person. You will find love again. Trust me, I know."

Sena brightened, and cut into a chili relleno.

"I am looking forward to the get together with us locals. We will have fun," Ernesto said, between bites of enchiladas.

"Will I finally meet the lovely Maria?"

"Yes. I will also introduce you to Jim Ed, my boss. You will like him." Ernesto was smiling.

"Is he as handsome and charming as you?"

Ernesto smiled again and shook his head. "Perhaps not as charming or good looking, but close on both counts.""

  "You have a deal ," Maria said, laughing.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  

A carnival of multicolored lanterns floated above the get together between the locals and the cast and crew of the movie, Big Texan.

Sena, who had already made a few comments on the loud speaker after her introduction, watched Ernesto and a lovely dark - haired slender woman arrive. A handsome fellow sporting a gray western Stetson walked besides them. When they shook hands, Sena thought Jim Ed seemed less intimidated than any man she could remember. He acted as if she was the one that should be impressed.

Later, Ernesto and a young Anglo boy belted out El Rancho Grande, in Spanish, backed by a western swing band that played throughout the party. The song played mostly for local ears, since most of the movie folks, working early the next day, waved farewell early.

Maria Sanchez and leading lady Sena applauded the duo.

"They sing very nicely together," said Sena.

Maria nodded proudly, and looked back to the stage. "Ernesto taught him that song when Junior was six years old."

Being a good actress, Sena picked up vibes. "Do you and Ernesto have any children?"

Maria shook her head. "I am afraid not. We tried, but I could not have any."

"Are Jim Ed's parents still living?"

"His father died several years ago. His mother never cared for it here. After Jim Ed joined the Marines, Mary moved back to Fort Worth, several hours from here. Jim Ed and his mother are not close."

Ernesto and the boy sang another Mexican ranch song. Maria, beaming, turned to applaud.

"You know, Maria, Ernesto tells a really good story. That's a sign of a good actor. Ernesto is also handsome enough to be a leading man, a Latin lover type. If the two of you come to Hollywood, I'll find Ernesto acting work. You two could even stay with me until you get settled."

Maria glanced gratefully at Sena. She did not seem surprised. Maria knew her husband could accomplish many things.

"That is very kind of you, it really is. But, he has lived here all of his life. Ernesto loves working cattle, and he loves horses even more." Maria laughed. "And he really, really loves bossing people around."

Maria and Sena clapped again. "Plus, we both love Jim Ed and Junior."

Sena shook her head. "Junior? Who is Junior? Jim Ed is single, isn't he?"

Maria gazed at Sena, looking surprised. "You did not know that the boy who sang with Ernesto was Junior, Jim Ed's son? Judy, Jim Ed's wife died a couple of years ago. Cancer. Went quick."

Jim Ed had been talking to a couple. He returned. "Do you have time for a short walk?"

"Sure," answered Sena. They headed for Marfa's main street, a block from the plaza.

"So, have you seen any of my movies?" asked Sena.

Jim Ed glanced at her, smiling. "A couple. I was fourteen when the one with the collie dog came out. I became interested in girls, not collies, after seeing you."

Sena laughed. She noticed that Jim Ed was especially interested in her bare shoulders. She regretted her dress choice. It was daring for this crowd. They walked in silence awhile. Unusal man, Sena thought. Not only is he not intimidated, he does not chatter away, unlike most of her actor friends.

They arrived at a store on the corner of Main Street. Sena peered into a store window and pulled back. "That is the largest horse that I have ever seen! That is a horse, isn't it?"

Jim Ed laughed. "Dad loved that horse. Rusty lived twenty-five years, and worked most of those. Dad had him stuffed. Then he decided that more people could see him in this hardware store than at the ranch."

"Was the horse outstanding at something? Did he win some kind of award?"

Jim Ed was silent, thinking. "Rusty was above average at cutting, sorting, and roping. He had good stamina and temperament. He was not outstanding at any one thing. But, he was a solid, dependable work horse. That made him outstanding."

They started back to the plaza. "What about your Dad?"

Jim Ed gazed at Sena's bare shoulders again. "Dad was cremated, which is unusual around here. His ashes were scattered on his favorite ridge."

Sena giggled. "You misunderstood. I was not suggesting your Dad was stuffed, too. I meant what kind of man was he?"

After a few steps, he said, "I guess he was like the horse. Not outstanding at anything, but solid and dependable."

They arrived back at the party that was waning. "When you have time, I want to take you to the springs at Balmorhea. It does not look much when you whiz by. You have to get a feel for the place."

Sena shook hands. "I'll get word to you through Ernesto when I have an off day. I am looking forward to seeing whatever you want to show me." She smiled as she looked directly into his blue eyes

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

Ten days later, Jim Ed and Sena passed out of the high Marfa-area plains, into and through the Davis Mountains. They passed ponderosa and pinon pine, mountain cedar, and a few stands of aspen. Miles ahead in the foothills, the cottonwood trees at the springs of Balmorhea beckoned. In three directions, for a long way from the springs, the only thing taller than a mid-sized woman's knee was planted by man, except for the approaching cottonwoods.

Jim Ed walked with Sena around part of the huge springs, lined with stones laid during the Depression. Large fish were visible, wiggling several feet down.

They watched kids play as they lingered over Hermalinda's picnic lunch. Then, they switched to swimming attire and took a dip in the artesian-fed pool, that never warms over 76 degrees. Then,  they rested in poolside chairs. Sena drew stares from some of the folks, who recognized the famous actress, and probably knew she was filming in the area. A couple sought autographs, but otherwise she was left alone, something unthinkable in many places by the mid 1950s.


Appointment in Balmorhea Ch. 02



Sena was between movies. Sierra was between semesters. They had talked repeatedly about a road trip, just the two of them. Why not now?

"Okay," Sierra said. "Oregon or Montana?"

For the first time in awhile, Sena reminded Sierra that she loved filming Big Texan, in southwest Texas. Trust me, that part of Texas is beautiful, like southern Colorado, Sena explained. Most of the people she got to know there, thirty years earlier, were still living.

"More than any place I've been, those Texas folks were not impressed by me. Jim Greene trailed a cowboy around like a puppy dog. Those Texans are so full of themselves, they did not have room to be impressed by me," Sena added laughing.

This impressed Sierra. She had never liked being around Sena's idolatrous fans. Once they were cornered at Dodger Stadium. Sena signed autographs and posed for photos for three innings. By the time they returned to their seats, Valenzuela was out of the game.

Sierra was intrigued. Plus, her mother really wanted to go to Texas. Sierra agreed.

They took their time, puttering eastward. Best Western hotels greeted them three evenings, before they entered Texas. Sierra, traveling with friends, especially in her college days, had stayed in places several notches below a Best Western.

This type of hotel was new to Sena, almost like camping out. On location, she had stayed in some rough places, but at least Sena had been waited on like royalty.

Sierra Hamilton handled registration and brought in fast food. Sena floated around, behind her thick sunglasses. They watched movies late, and the Today Show early. Neither admitted it, but this was their best time together in years. 

Like a flower needs the sun, Sierra knew that Sena eventually would need a "moment". It came in El Paso. Instead of asking Sierra to bring in breakfast, Sena proposed they go to IHOP.

Without her scarf or sunglasses, but with makeup and her best road attire, Sena made a smiling grand entrance, worthy of the Red Carpet. She asked for a table out of the way, so as to not block traffic.

Soon a line formed. Between bites, Sena signed autographs, and posed for photos. Eventually the cooks posed, too.

Today was different. Sierra enjoyed this. That is my mom, she thought.

They arrived in Pecos in mid-afternoon. Sena's appointment in Balmorhea was at noon the next day. Sierra again brought food. By coincidence that had their heads shaking, Big Texan was the Eight O'clock Movie. Again, Sena told stories about the filming. This time, Sierra was entertained.

Around eleven the next morning, they headed south, on the 30 mile drive to Balmorhea.

Not for the first time recently, Sena wondered what Ernesto looked like, thirty years later. He was almost sixty. One of Maria's girlfriends quickly latched onto him, she figured. But, she did not recall a woman's voice, the night she called him.

She wondered if Ernesto could sexually still do it. The last night before the Texas trip started, Sena's latest quasi boyfriend, fourteen years younger, a handsome fellow, gave her excellent oral service. And as usual, the actor could not get an erection.

"Dammit! I am with you, a beautiful, famous, willing woman, and I cannot perform."

"Earl, you give great head." Sena consoled him, like he was a little boy. He would not quit whimpering.

Sena changed the cassette player. She gazed at the contrast of the surrounding desert, and the Davis Mountains, on the horizon.

She thought of other contrasts. She could not imagine Ernesto repeatedly failing, and seeking sympathy like Earl. Either Ernesto could still get it up, or he had honorably retired from bedroom trysts.

Sierra shook her head. "It looks like we are still in New Mexico."

"See those mountains to the southwest? Those and Marfa beyond them are another world from this. The Balmorhea Springs are in the foothills. The Springs are great."

"Who will we meet there?"

"Ernesto Garza, a ranch foreman. He is the one that Jim Greene followed around. He's charming, and thirty years ago, he was very handsome. I told him that if he came to Hollywood, I would get him into movies. I was serious. He became a true friend. He kept a lot of people propped up and going."

"Who else we gonna meet at lunch?"

"Another guy."

"No women? Just another guy? Who is this other guy?"

Sena was careful. "I dated a rancher, Ernesto's boss, although I felt Ernesto was the real boss. The rancher was a widow, with an eight year-old son. You were a year younger. We compared notes a lot, about the two of you. The other guy is the son.

The rancher remarried. They have a daughter, who is seventeen. We will see the rancher and several others. Just not today."

"Is the rancher's son married?'

Sena pursed her lips. She moved her hands on the wheel. "No."

Sierra's eyes narrowed. Sena felt her hostile long stare. Moments passed.

"Is this one of your set-ups, Mom?"

Sena pretended an Oscar was on the line. She shook her head vigorously.

"No. Not at all."

Sierra kept staring at Sena. Sierra slapped the dash. "Dammit, dammit, Mom! You never give up! We've come a thousand miles for you to once again try to marry me off!"

"Think what you will. We've had a good time so far. My best times in Texas were at the springs, just ahead. My best friend in Texas is Ernesto Sanchez. He could not bring the guy I dated, because he is married. Ernesto is a second father to this other fellow. And I was fond of the little rascal."

Minutes passed. Sierra knew she was trapped. Finally, Sierra asked "What is this guy's name?"

Sena grinned. "Bubba Junior." She looked at Sierra, and snickered.

Sierra observed her mother with half closed eyes. Slowly, she shook her head, for quite awhile. She gazed to her right.

Sierra repeated the name slowly, one syllable at a time.

"Bub-ba...Jun-ior." Sierra kept shaking her head.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Ernesto and Bubba Junior were unsaddling Pete and Topper in the corral near the Big House. As casually as possible, Ernesto asked "Are you and Big Shorty gonna be in the team roping event tomorrow, in Fort Stockton?"

"Naw. Sis [Ceasar Sis] will drop her colt in the next day or two. I'll hang around, probably eat with the folks."

"I want you to go to Balmorhea Springs tomorrow with me."

Bubba Junior was carrying his saddle. He stopped, turned back, looking confused. "Why do you want to do that? We go there just for Nancy's birthdays."

"I want to go just one time, and relax-when it is not an event."

They resumed walking. Bubba Junior laughed. "I did not think you missed church, except when you had to."

"Oh, I miss now and then. I just pray twice as long the next week." Ernesto was grinning.

Bubba Junior thought about it awhile. "I may be up a lot tonight with Sis. If you can wait until mid-morning, I may go with you. We won't be there long will we?"

Ernesto shook his head. Like the rest, Bubba Junior went to bed early and got up early, except on Saturday nights. Maybe once a month, he went to a dance and sometimes spent time with a girl afterwards. The other Saturday nights, he read past midnight, then slept late. 

This was perfect, Ernesto thought. Sena and Sierra would not arrive in Balmorhea until noon.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Around nine-thirty the next morning, Ernesto parked his pickup at the Big House. He saluted the crepe myrtle. This was his last next to last year of good luck, according to the planting lore. What would happen after that, he wondered.

He whistled as he marched the sidewalk. As he opened the screen door, Nancy came whizzing by, late for Sunday School. "Hello, E."

Jim Ed was right behind her. "Keep it under seventy. Otherwise, I will send you to reform school," he shouted, grinning.

As Nancy eased into her three year-old Mustang convertible they recently bought for her, she gave her dad a long look. Don't forget who the real boss in the family is, her look said.

Smiling, white haired, refrigerator-sized Hermalinda emerged from the kitchen. "I have some bacon and egg tacos for you and Bubba Junior. And I have a nice picnic lunch for the four of you."

"We also need some of your delicious coffee." Ernesto wiggled his eyebrows. With his middle finger, he smoothed the area under his lip that for years wore his moustache. A few months after Maria passed, he cut it off. He had wanted to years earlier, but Maria liked it.

Janet padded in. She ignored the coffee that the men drank, and reached for the percolator. "You tell Sena that she is welcome, and you convince her I am sincere. We will show her around. She can stay as long as she wants with us." Janet pointed at him.

"But, she has to first give me a big kiss," Jim Ed said, grinning.

Janet half smiled at him. "Maybe a little kiss. On the cheek."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Ernesto bounced the three miles to Bubba Junior's. Ring and Sally, the border collies that presently ran the place, barked and jumped on him, licking his hands. He glanced at the neat, two bedroom house, with a small loft. Ernesto knew everything was in its place. Bubba Junior got that neatness streak from his mother, at least for the house. But, he knew Bubba Junior was not there.

He entered the barn. Two empty Coke cans stood next to a bottle of horse linament on a tabled rescued from a church bazaar. An eclectic mixture of paperbacks with a few hardbacks loaded one half of the table. On another table rested some veterinary books, discontinued by the A&M Vet School, and rescued by Bubba Junior while in College Station. One book was open, face down. Stables stood on the south end. Sis and another horse, stabled to keep Sis company, snorted at his arrival. 

Ernesto glanced at the telephone numbers and scribbling next to the phone. The last time he was here, he had answered the phone. "Is J.E. there?" That meant the caller knew Bubba Junior in the Marines.

Ernesto and Jim Ed, Sr. had both been in combat in World War II. But, Bubba Junior had felt more comfortable talking with Ernesto about Vietnam when he first came back. But, the subject had not been brought up by either in years.

Ernesto walked through a door on the west side. As usual, Bubba Junior was sacked out in a bedroll, several feet from the barn. Except in rainy weather, Bubba Junior slept here. Sometimes when it rained he slept underneath an overhang outside the barn. A stone lined campfire pit was close by. The lake's edge was fifty yards away.

"Rise and shine! We are burning daylight!" Ernesto remarked.

Bubba Junior threw an arm across his face. "The brown devil has arrived."

Ernesto knew they had plenty of time. And he could not push it. Bass were hungry, and were popping the water. Bubba Junior might decide to fish instead.

"I have some of Hermalinda's tacos and coffee."

Bubba Junior pulled his blond headed, six-two, 210 pound frame into a weather beaten, wooden chair. They talked about Sis and what work needed to be done in the coming days. Ernesto reminded him that Paco would be down within an hour and stay with Sis. 

An hour plus later, they passed through Fort Davis, and were headed out of the mountains, toward Balmorhea.

Ernesto was driving Bubba Junior's two year-old Ford pickup. He made a dramatic sweeping gesture with his right hand.

"I have a surprise. We will meet Sena Miller at the Balmorhea Springs."

"No shit? Why is she coming to the Springs?"

"She had a good time in Texas. She wants to return to revisit the surroundings, and visit us"

"Why now? Why, after all of these years?"

"Why not now? Plus, I have invited her, two or three times, over the years, in letters."

Bubba Junior glanced at him. "Did Maria know about those letters?"

"Yes. She helped me write them." Ernesto glanced at him. "You know the story. Sena and I were just friends."

Bubba Junior stared to his right, thinking about this. "Is she bringing a Hollywood posse, to film some kind of documentary?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Well, who is she coming with, then?"

Ernesto looked as innocent as possible. "Her daughter. She is only a year younger than you. We compared notes about the two of you back then."

"Is her daughter bringing her kids? If she is my age, she must have kids. They will like the Springs."

"I don't think so."

"Is she bringing her husband? She is married, isn't she?"

"No. I don't think so."

Ernesto felt Bubba Junior staring a hole through him. Bubba Junior slapped the console. 

"Shit! Is Janet trying to line me up on a blind date again? Shit!"

"Janet has never talked to Sena, as far as I know."

"Well then, dammit, are you or Dad behind some kind attempt at match making here?"

Ernesto finally glanced at him. "Not me. We already have enough bossy women on the ranch." Ernesto started whistling El Rancho Grande. "Let's sing a little," Ernesto said. Then he belted a few lines with his baritone.

"I don't feel like singing a damn song. I feel like jumping out of this pickup."

"A daughter of Sena Miller is probably nice to look at," Ernesto said. Then, he started singing again.

Bubba Junior stared at him, like he was crazy. Finally he asked, "What is the daughter's name?"

Without hesitation, Ernesto grinned at him, and said loudly but slowly, "Sierra".

Bubba Junior slowly repeated each syllable distinctly, "Si-err-a". He gazed to his right. He kept shaking his head.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

The turn indicators of the blue Mercedes toting Sena and her reluctant sidekick pointed to the left, towards Mexico. Sierra spotted a gray hatted man and his younger, black hatted detainee, perched on a bench, near the entrance to Balmorhea Springs.

Sena and Ernesto approached each other, smiling. They hugged. She kissed him on the cheek, and pulled back.

"I swear, you don't look much different, Ernesto." Her clinched fist tapped his stomach lightly. "No beer gut." Ernesto grinned broadly.

Sena studied his face. "When did you lose the moustache?" He grinned, but said nothing. She lifted his hat off.

"Heck, you still have all of your hair." Gray streaked though his temples.

He cupped her shoulders with both hands. "You are as beautiful as you were the last time I saw you."

Sena smiled softly and slightly shook her head, acknowledging that thirty years takes a toll. "At least I look better than I did in that photo of me on the beach, which seemed to go around the world. I promptly lost fifteen pounds." She waved her finger. "There is always a good side to adversity."

Ernesto chuckled but said nothing. He could not stop grinning. He was still surprised Sena had actually arrived.

Sierra and Bubba Junior glanced at each other during the old folks' reunion. Finally, their eyes settled on each other. With a long look, each conveyed they had been tricked, and were humoring people they loved. 

Ernesto pointed towards a picnic table, about fifty yards away, in the shade of cottonwood trees. "Hermalinda has made a nice picnic lunch. And we have some cold beer. You remember Hermalinda?"

"Of course," Sena said, smiling. "She's got to be, what eighty years old?"

"At least, but nobody knows for sure. She won't tell. She's never been sick a day. She says hello. They all say hello. Janet, Jim Ed's wife wants you to visit and stay with them as long as you want. Jim Ed, too."

"I really appreciate it. We'll do it. But, first I want to spend time with you and Bubba Junior, and enjoy this place."

The four detoured by the two acre pool, fed by the artesian springs. Bubba Junior played tour guide, explaining where the water went from here, and so forth.

"I cannot tell any difference from thirty years ago," Sena said, while slowly turning and gazing. She did not mention that she stopped by here in 1966, coming from New Orleans.

"Since then, they brought in squirrels for the tourists," Bubba Junior explained.

"I can see the squirrels, getting on the edge of this oasis, and seeing the desert. They probably almost faint," Sena said, grinning.

They settled down with Hermalinda's fried chicken, potato salad, and fried peach pie.

The men rested on one side of the picnic table, facing the women. Ernesto had folding chairs nearby, for after lunch.

Sena small talked about their trip, and the fortuitous airing of Big Texan the night before. Ernesto grinned and nodded. Sierra and Bubba Junior sneaked glances at each other and then looked away.

He is easy on the eyes, Sierra thought. And he has the bluest eyes I have ever seen.

Bubba Junior noted that from the neck up, Sierra probably favored her father. But, she had her mother's great body. The white spaghetti straps of her camisole blouse contrasted with her tanned, toned arms and shoulders. She worked with weights, Bubba Junior noted.

Sena smiled at him. "I hear you attended Texas A&M."

Sierra chimed in, "I did not know you went to college." She immediately regretted it.

Bubba Junior eyed her coolly. "Yeah, I went to college. Graduated , too."

Sierra smiled. "What did you major in?"

"Double major-Animal Science and Range Management." He did not mention Vietnam, the Marines, or that he spent two months in her native California, a year or so after leaving the Marines.

Seirra noticed his limp, and figured it resulted from a cowboying accident.

Sena had reserved some questions and comments, to glide over touchy moments.

"Ernesto, the day I left Marfa, you and Maria came to the train, to see me off. But, you were really tired. Maria said you were up all night, with your favorite horse. Do you remember that?"

Ernesto pushed his hat back. He rubbed his chin, trying to recall thirty years' earlier. Bubba Junior grinned. He remembered.

Slowly Ernesto rolled it out. "We had a good stud horse, Dandy Jack. Most stallions are not good for anything but breeding because they are too ornery around other horses. But Dandy Jack was an exception. He could also do roundups and other cow work. He was an especially good cutting horse. The night before you left, he had a fracture in the lower leg."

Ernesto demonstrated the area with his hands, the area between the fetlock and the hoof.

Sierra interrupted. "Which phalanx of the pastern was broken?"

Ernesto stared at Sierra as if she suddenly had four eyes. "It was the short one." Ernesto looked at Sena and explained, "A phalanx is a bone, and the short one is the small one."

Sena made a smug face, as to say this made perfect sense to her.

Bubba Junior calmly studied Sierra. 

"The vet had just bought an x-ray machine, but he was a hundred miles away, working. So, I located the fracture the old way, by feel. I put on a plaster cast. Dandy Jack was a perfect patient. He did not move while the cast dried. I was up with him all night just before you left.

Damn, we were lucky. Most horses rear and plunge, trying to get rid of their cast. But, he didn't. You don't leave the cast on long because of cast sores. But, even after the vet took the cast off days later-the vet was back by then-the horse didn't use the leg right away, which gave it more time to heal."

"Sierra asked, "Was he a usable horse after that?"

"He still bred mares. But, Dandy Jack's cutting horse days were over, because of the stress on a cutting horse's legs. A roping horse can be used if they recover from a broken leg, because of the short distances they work. I've seen a couple of barrel horses that were still real fast, in spite of slight limp or even a club foot. But, after a broken bone, the work days of an everyday ranch horse are over."

Ernesto was grinning. He was talking about his favorite subject, horses.

"Why? I understand that if a horse survives a broken bone, they get over the pain. Why can they still be a barrel horse, but not a ranch work horse?"Sierra asked.

Ernesto knowingly looked at Bubba Junior, who was still observing Sierra.




Appointment in Balmorhea Ch. 02



With a little Hispanic sing song creeping into his voice, he softly answered "They get over the pain, but after a mile or so, they start limping. It is literally a pain in the ass to ride a limping horse all day." Then he winked at Bubba Junior.

Sena was smiling, relieved to not be carrying the conversation. She raised her eyebrows at Sierra, as if it was time to explain Sierra's interest in horses. Sierra had no expression.

Sena cocked her head with a questioning look. "Ernesto, you saved that big black horse they had me ride in Big Texan. Tell Sierra about that."

Bubba Junior looked at Ernesto. The older man held his hands up. "Son, you probably never heard about that. It was no big deal."

Ernesto tipped his hat back. "The movie folks brought in this horse for Sena. One day after shooting a scene, the horse came down with colic, and started pawing, rolling, and lying down. I was still in town, messing with Jim Greene.

Again, Doc Adams was working far from Marfa. I passed a stomach tube and drained a lot of fluid from the horse. He would pass gas and take a big piss, and for awhile seem to feel better. Then he would start sweating and trembling again. I sucked on the tube again, and I got a pepper taste."

Sierra interrupted, "You were tubing?"

Ernesto nodded at her, surprised that she knew the term, but not curious enough to ask. He wanted to continue his story.

"I followed the horse's tracks to a large garbage can, full of chili peppers. The horse had eaten chili peppers, and tanked up on water, to put out the fire.

Towards morning, I had just about given up. The horse was just pitiful. But he finally had a good crap, and began to nibble on feed. An hour after sun-up, he was good to go."

Sena smiled. "But, they shifted scenes so that the horse would not have to work awhile."

"Is the vet ever around when you need one?" Sierra asked.

"Sometimes," Ernesto answered. "There is a lot of county to cover out here."

"Old Doc Adams, he died before you could win your argument," muttered Bubba Junior. He was watching two squirrels being acrobats.

Both women wore curious looks.

Ernesto cut an apple. "I tried to convince Doc for years that a bug in the hay sometimes causes colic. He agreed that I knew a lot about horses. But, about that, he thought I was crazy. Since Doc died, they have proven that a bug causes colic bad enough to kill."

Sierra said, "Blister bees, mainly in alfalfa." Ernesto stared at her, mouth ajar.

Bubba Junior stared at Sierra with half closed eyes. "What's the deal?" he asked.

Sierra smiled at him. "I have one year of vet school left at UC-Davis."

Ernesto's mouth fell open. "Hijo!," he said. He grinned broadly at all three in turn, and clapped. Then he leaned forward. He could not stop giggling.

"Really? That is great! Do you know what kind of vet you will be?"

Sierra wore a determined look. Her eyes flitted between the two men. "Big animal," she said.

Bubba Junior had guessed vet was a possibility. Also, he had guessed big animal, because of the weight work done on her shoulders. The few female big animal veterinarians graduating from A&M worked on their arms and shoulders.

Ernesto slapped his knee, but was calming down. His smile faded slowly.

"A big animal vet earns a lot of windshield time in this part of the country, and long hours. I bet even in California you'll be up a lot of nights."

Sierra nodded yes. "I'm ready. I'm overbanked on sleep in my life to date."

Sena chimed in, "I've read, and Sierra says also, that most animals are born in the middle of the night. Why is that?"

Sierra held her hands toward Bubba Junior, as to hear his thoughts.

He studied a boot. "Most popular theory is that a mother in labor and a newborn are at their most vulnerable giving birth or right after. In the dead of night and darkness, they are most shielded from predators."

Sena grinned. "Sierra was born at 3a.m.."

Ernest pointed at Bubba Junior. "He was born at 4a.m.."

Ernesto gazed at Sierra. He said, "Do you realize that for hours, you may have your arm up to the shoulder in a cow, for pregnancy testing, turning a stuck calf, and so forth? Besides the shoulder ache, the acid will make your arm tender."

Sierra smiled. She curled her arm up, showing her bicep. "I am working out. And I have interned between semesters. A week ago, I finally managed to turn a calf's head, wedged in the birth canal. The mother had fever. When the head turned, scalding hot urine burned my arm and upper body. But, that Hereford baby calf was the prettiest thing I have ever seen."

Bubba Junior grinned from ear to ear. It reminded Ernesto of something he could not immediately remember. Finally it came to him. Bubba Junior was four or five the first time Bubba Junior had seen a newborn baby calf, also a Hereford. Bubba Junior had worn the same grin back then.

Sena did not want to exhaust this topic so early. She asked about the Marfa banker who wheedled himself a cameo in Big Texan. This tapped a series of stories about the banker from Ernesto.

Now and then Bubba Junior glanced at his watch. Finally he said "Ya'll excuse for a few minutes." He looked at Ernesto. "I told Paco to be by the telephone around one. I'm going to check on Sis."

Sena looked concerned. "Is there something wrong with your sister?"

Ernesto smiled. "No, we have a horse called Ceasar Sis, that we call Sis for short. She will drop a colt in the next day or two."

Bubba Junior headed for the pay phone. A few feet out, he stopped, and looked at the ground. Slowly he turned back. He looked at Sierra. "Would you like to come with me?"

In a half second, she was walking with him.

Sena and Ernest silently watched them walk the hundred yards to the phone. Bubba Junior kept glancing at Sierra's shoulders. These Andrews men like a lady's shoulders, Sena reflected.

"That boy has talked more in the last two minutes than he does in a week." Ernesto pointed at Sena. "We always have a shortage of vets in these parts. And one is seventy-five, and has to retire soon."

Sena made a face, and shook her head disapprovingly. "Now, don't put a hex on them. They have just barely, how do you say, got out of the starting gate?"

Bubba Junior was on the phone only moments. They watched the couple chatting as they walked back.

"Paco said everything is okay. But, I'm gonna go back. She is coming with me."

"Mom, will you be okay here for awhile?"

"Sure, no problem. Ernesto and I have a lot to catch up on."

Bubba Junior looked at Ernesto. "If you can, be by the phone around seven, if we are not back by then."

The younger couple headed for Bubba Junior's pickup.

Ernesto looked at Sena. "We could follow them back in your car."

Sena placed her chair next to his, and sat down. She patted he arm. She shielded her eyes to catch a glimpse of the fading pickup.

"Let them have as much time alone together as they can stand."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

The next few hours flew by. Ernesto in roughly chronological order explained the locals' reaction to Big Texan, Jim Ed courting and marrying Janet, the adventures of Nancy, and most of all, the exploits of Bubba Junior.

When Ernesto asked questions, Sena answered. As gently as possible, she shifted the conversation back to Marfa.

The afternoon was broken up by two long strolls around the grounds. They peered at the fish, deep in the clear pool. Bubba Junior called at seven. Ernesto grinned and grunted a few times.

"They are going to spend the night there. Sis will probably have her colt tonight."

Ernesto explained the sleeping arrangements. Bubba Junior would put her up in the small but neat house. He explained that Bubba Junior slept outside, beside the barn, close to the lake. 

They headed for one of the two cafes in town. 

"I forgot that Mexican food in Texas, your Tex-Mex, is all its own, even different from the rest of the Southwest," Sena mumbled, between bites.

Sena thought it fair that she tell Ernesto some movie stories and gossip, which most people loved. He was interested, but less than most.

Around nine, they arrived back at their folding chairs, close to the spring-fed pool. It was a crisp but clear night.

Sena lay down on a small quilt, facing the heavens. "There must be thousand stars out tonight," she said. She identified a couple of constellations and stars.

Ernesto said, "That is correct. When did you learn that?"

Sena giggled. "Jim Ed taught me, close to this spot."

Ernesto asked her his first personal question. "Do you have a boyfriend back home?"

She pulled herself upright, besides him. "I have not had a serious relationship since my second husband."

Ernesto waved his hand, palm facing out. "You know what you should do?"

Sena leaned over and hugged his knee. "What should I do?"

"You should find a solid, dependable man, perhaps someone you already know. You should work at it. You know, love takes work. When you get back home, you do that."

Sena smiled in the darkness. She was pleased. And disappointed.

After a few moments, he said, "It is past my bedtime. You want me to see you to your cabin?"

"No, I'll be okay. I want to watch the stars for awhile."

Ernesto reminded her that he needed to be by the pay phone around eight a.m. He would take her to breakfast after that. They said good night.

Sena lay back again. She thought of Bubba Junior and her only child, up on the high Marfa grasslands. She lifted up a small prayer. While admiring the stars, she dozed off....

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Ernesto banged on her door the next morning. He was grinning. "Sis had her colt in the middle of the night. Everything went fine. Bubba Junior says they will be back by noon, with food from Hermalinda."

Sena watched him. "Do you have any idea where they slept?"

He chuckled. "Around midnight, he took her up to the house, and showed her the layout again, and left her. Shortly, she shows up again at the campfire. She asks if he has another sleeping bag. She slept on the other side of the fire, at least until they were up with Sis."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Balmorhea Springs, Texas , May 25, 1985, 3:15 p.m.

Ernesto shifted in the grass. Children's laughter in heaven could not beat the sounds bouncing his way from the nearby, two acre pool.

Again he studied the cottonwood trees that towered above. Why did the Apaches call them loving trees, he again considered. They provided the only shade for miles around for the Indians for a long time, and now for the visitors. But, perhaps their name came from something else.

One tree took the morning sun, and shaded the tree planted to its west. Then, in the afternoon, the west tree partially provided shade for the tree to its east. The trees helped each other, one providing shade and relief in the morning, and the other tree returning the favor in the afternoon.

Ernesto remembered times when he should have helped others, but did not. Often, he wanted to, but did not know how. He wanted to comfort a young, grieving Jim Ed, but what could he do?

"Forgive me Father, for the times when I could have been more loving, but was not," Ernesto prayed.

From the pool, a woman laughed. Ernesto wondered whose voice that was. Bubba Junior laughed. Sierra shrieked, and laughed again.

"Dear God," Ernesto prayed, "I have not asked you for much. I have mainly thanked you for my many blessings. But God, please let these two young people [they were not that young, but he chose to not remind God] find happiness together. Please dear God, I ask of you."

Ernesto gazed at the sky. He closed his eyes and dozed, half dreaming, half remembering...

He left Maria for the first time, for more than two days, to travel with Tom Andrews. Yearlings, stocker calves, and mixed heifers were sold in El Paso. Afterwards, Tom visited his favorite whorehouse in Jaurez. Ernesto only joked with the senoritas that visited his table. He nursed a couple of beers. The three piece Mariachi band was decent.

A Hereford bull purchased on the return in Van Horn helped their bloodlines.

Food warmed on the stove when Ernesto returned home. But supper waited. Ernesto and Maria barely made it to the bed-his haste cost Maria's blouse a couple of buttons.

Ernesto loved Maria's cooking. But, every time he was gone more than two days, even if camped on an Andrews Ranch section, Ernesto first took Maria to bed. Supper came later.

He did not know how much time he had left on this earth, perhaps many years, perhaps not. He wondered if Maria and he could do it in heaven. He remembered the smell of her hair, the touch of his lips on her neck and shoulders.

Ernesto wanted to pleasure a woman again, the way he pleasured Maria. He wanted a woman to hold him, bite his neck, and clutch his back. He wanted a woman to whisper again how blessed, and how big he was. He wanted to hear again how lucky she was to be with him.

He thought you should only do these things with a woman you love. He could love again, perhaps at least Sena. But what would Maria think?

A man should be married, before he got a poke. Did God make allowances for widowers?

Someone bounced up and down on the diving board, jumped, and yelled "Cannonball!" Bubba Junior yelled, evidently splashed by the dive.

Ernesto realized that he had dozed. He felt a throbbing erection. He concentrated on trying to lose it. He dared not shift his head on the soft thigh on which he lay. He pretended to still be asleep.

He smelled perfume. That did not help. He barely opened one eye. Twin peaks in a white blouse above him did not degrade his erection, either.

Fingers ran over his temples and through his hair.

The pain in his loins grew worse. An eight inch, thick cylinder of heat pressed against the inner part of his right leg. He felt the tension against his jeans. 

The fingers stopped. They rested on his head.

Without moving, he barely opened one eye.. He searched a face, leaning down, turned halfway toward his.

Beautiful eyes were framed by an olive skinned face. Quick breaths were moving the white blouse.

Sena's eyes were fixed on his right leg, just below the belt. Finally, Sena looked up at the cottonwoods, as if searching for meaning. A small smile crept across her face. Her gaze went back to his pants. Then, her eyes slowly crawled up to his. His eyes waited for hers. She bent down a little more.

"Ernesto?"



Appointment in Balmorhea



Sena gazed around. "It is peaceful here. You put this in another setting, perhaps even in your Davis Mountains, and this would not be so special. But, surrounded by all of this desert, it makes a nice contrast. A true oasis."

"You calling my Texas ugly?" Jim Ed answered, smiling.

"Let's say the immediate surroundings are not the prettiest part of Texas."

They took long smiling looks at each other. Both knew, as surely as the sun rises in the east, what would soon happen. After a little more small talk, they walked to a cabin.

Sena lost her virginity to a fellow teenaged actor, as inexperienced at love making as she. Her second lover, an older experienced actor, was more adept. He was Italian, and they were filming in a romantic part of Italy. Her third was a Hollywood producer, called Sudden Sam. Sena thought the nickname also suited his bedroom performance.

Then she saw a black pro running back on the sly. He worked as hard at keeping it a secret as she did. Her publicist warned her that this could ruin her career. Somehow, the press never picked up on it.

She had dated and gone to bed with Nigel several months before she married him.

Sena had lovers better at foreplay than Jim Ed. She had ones better endowed, but not by much. She had been with men who perhaps lasted longer.  But, Sena had never been with someone has all around satisfying as Jim Ed. Part of it, she later reasoned, was his need, which he did not try to hide. He used her with an urgency that others had not. And Sena used him, too.

After a couple of hours, they donned their swimming gear and dipped back in the pool. Then, after beer, they napped in the shade.

"We only have an hour before we need to head back. Do you want to go back to the cabin?" Jim Ed queried.

"Thought you would never ask," Sena answered, with a big smile.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

Through the remaining time on location, Sena had six off days. Midway through the shoot, the Hollywood press arrived by train from El Paso. All of the principal cast members gave several interviews. Sena posed, chest out and head back, with one arm around Ernesto Sanchez. Look Magazine featured an article, "Filming on Texas' High Plains-Sena, Jim, and Rick [Sena's leading man] Experience the True Texas."

Ernesto was disappointed that his photo appeared on the inside, with the caption, "Sena grabs a real Texas cowboy." Jim Greene hunted rattlesnakes with a headlight, like a miner's light. A brooding Jim, with headlight attached, made Look's cover photo. 

The religious house bossette and cook, Hermalinda, would kill Jim Ed if he shacked up with an unmarried woman. So, on two of the remaining off days, Jim Ed and Sena visited a  natural lake on Jim Ed's West Section. His dad's ashes were scattered on Tom's favorite ridge, aptly called Tom's Ridge, which overlooked the lake. A ten yard wide and long simple platform stood at the lake's edge. With nothing but a sheet under them, they made love on summer nights. 

A few years later, a paparazzo would have creeped forward, shot the couple from several angles, and retired rich.

On the other three of Sena's off days, the couple returned to the springs and cabin at Balmorhea.

On their last night together, Sena lay down in an open space. They could hear the springs, but view the clear, starry sky.

"There must be several thousand stars that I can see from here," Sena said. She watched a shooting star, and then another.

"Are you afraid some alien up there may come for us?" she asked.

"Naw ," Jim Ed answered. "If they are smart enough to watch us and we don't know it, they are not interested in us. They sure are not interested in some dumb Texas cow."

Sena laughed. Her hands were behind her back. She glanced at Jim Ed, who was sitting in the grass and leaning on one arm. "What are you afraid of?" she asked.

He looked at her and glanced around. "I am afraid that I am not as dependable as I should be."

"Have you done anything that makes you think you are not?"

"A couple of things lately. But, I am working on it."

Sena asked," Is there anything else you are afraid of?"

He slowly laid his head in her lap. His head rolled as he surveyed the stars. "I am afraid that Junior may not like it here well enough to stay."

"Does he give you any indication?"

He gave the thumbs up sign. "He loves working cattle. He is interested in breeding. He reads the Stockman's Quarterly, something I don't get through. Ernesto and I are working with him on roping. Junior loves roping. And Junior likes working with horses so much that he already does not want to go to school. That is not a good thing," Jim Ed said, laughing.

He looked up at her. She was running her hand through his hair.

"What about you. What are you afraid of?"

Sena glanced over at some late night swimmers. She turned her head toward a cottonwood tree- a gust of wind rattled its leaves.

"I am afraid, many years from now, that I will be disappointed that I was not the actress that I could have been."

He asked her, "You mean if you don't win an Oscar or two?"

"An Oscar would be nice. This is such a good role with Big Texan that I have a shot. But, more than approval from others, I want to know that I gave it my best. Do you know what I mean?"

He gazed at her. Then he slowly shook his head. "I think so. It's kinda the way I feel about being responsible. I judge myself on that."

"I have a few years left of being a leading romantic lady. Then, I may then get some leading character roles. Eventually, especially if my looks fade more than a little, I will have to play the jealous mother or the eccentric aunt. Some actresses rather retire. But me, I think I will work as long as I can. It is all that I have ever been interested in."

Jim Ed asked, "Is there anything else that you are afraid of?"

Sena looked down at him a long while, his head still in her lap. "I hope that my daughter will not want to be an actress. I want her to have a normal life. Settle down, with a normal guy, and have kids."

"Hell, you just want grandkids," he said, grinning.

Sena laughed. "That is part of it. But, this life is not for everyone. I have been very lucky. Plus, things don't always go well in the acting world for kids of famous actresses."

"It is strange. I want my kid to like what I like, and stay here. But, you want something different for Sierra."

Sena smiled. "Life is strange. We still have some cabin time left. Then, I need to get back."

Jim Ed stood and pulled her up. "As Ernesto says, "Time is a wasting-we are burning moonlight."

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

A couple of hours later, Jim Ed's pickup pulled up next to her trailer.

"Ernesto and Maria said they would be here Tuesday to say goodbye and see us off. Will you come, too?"

Jim Ed grinned. He tilted his gray hat back. "I am not much on goodbyes."

"If you ever come to Hollywood, look me up. Ernesto has the address of my agent, who can always find me. I will show you the town."

"I saw Hollywood, before I shipped out with the Marines, in '43. I took a tour of a studio. I even had a few drinks with Dana Andrews, at the Silver Dollar Bar, on Whittier Boulevard, in East L.A."

"Sena's mouth dropped. She shook her head. "We have talked several hours, the last several weeks. You never mentioned that you had been in California. I grew up there."

Jim Ed held up his hands and smiled. "It never came up."

Sena shook her head. She looked him in the eyes for awhile. Then she leaned over and kissed him. "You are an unusual man, Mr. Jim Ed Andrews." 

She got out of the pickup, stood and waved. He grinned and waved back. Suddenly, Sena was not sure of something. She stepped toward the pickup. But, Jim Ed was driving off. He did not look back

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

February 22, 1957

Sena Miller

c/o Bernie Goldblum

2835 Cienegas

Hollywood, California



Dear Sena, 

I hope this gets to you. I am sending it to the address you gave me. If you see different handwriting, that is Maria's, correcting me, ha.

Last night, Maria, Jim Ed, Junior and I saw the premier of Big Texan. Jim Greene was here, along with Cold Wells. I understand you could not come from Egypt. Are you getting another accent to play somebody in Egypt?

We really liked the movie. The pictures of the sunsets were great. Almost as good as the real thing, ha. We will bring Junior next time. I can see why Jim wanted to learn to fiddle with a rope in the scene where they are trying to persuade him to give up his power. It looked like he might have been tying a quick fix knot that I taught him. But, the screen did not go low enough to tell. I asked Jim. He laughed but did not answer.

Everything is going good here. Everyone says hello, including Jim Ed. You were good for him. He cut back on his heavy drinking when he started seeing you. You are a good person. You were good for him in other ways, too.

Please visit us again. If we can ever help you, let us know.

Your friend,

Ernesto Garza

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

March 16, 1957

Mr. Ernesto Garza, Foreman

Andrews Ranch

Marfa, Texas



Dear Ernesto,

My agent Bernie is on the ball. He forwarded and I received your letter two weeks after your postmark. It is very nice to hear from you. I am glad you like the movie. Rumor is that in a few days I may be nominated for Best Actress. Maybe this time, I will win!

I am playing an American visiting Egypt. So, I do not have an Egyptian accent for this role. Besides, I am not good with accents. I did not adopt an accent for Big Texan either,, ha.

I am glad everyone is okay. I miss Sierra. She is in school in Los Angeles. We talk almost every day. Tell Maria and Hermalinda that I miss their enchiladas, especially over here.

I do hope to get back to visit some day.

Hugs and kisses

Sena

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

Over the next several years, Sena was nominated twice again for Best Actress. She won for the second, which gave her two wins, counting the one for Big Texan. She was still the leading romantic lead, and once was the love interest of an character several years younger- unusual for Hollywood in the 1960s. She even had a brief affair with the young stud actor. 

Then, at age thirty six, Sena fell in love for the first time since Nigel, although she had wondered what would have happened with Jim Ed, if given more time. This would be it. She and Erik, a developer of television sitcoms, would grow old together. 

Looking back, she could not remember that they argued. The sex with Eric was regular and good. Sierra even liked him.

Suddenly, Sena did not meet his emotional needs. Eric moved from their Bel Air home. A thirty something supporting actress in a television sitcom related better to him than Sena, he claimed. 

Sena remembered that she had not tried very hard to patch things up with her first husband. She tried to reconcile with Erik. She swallowed her pride, more than once. But, Erik never seemed interested. Eventually, she filed for divorce.

In 1966, Sena finished the on location shoot in New Orleans. She longed for some quiet time, and to perhaps revisit her friends in Marfa. She rented a Pontiac GTO, and drove first to visit some friends in San Antonio. With some thick, dark sunglasses and a scarf, Sena and her friends dined on San Antonio's Riverwalk. She drew some long stares. One middle-aged fellow, dining alone, watched her silently. As he prepared to leave, he gave her another long look. Sena smiled, briefly pulled off her shades, and waved. That made him sure. He smiled broadly, stood triumphant, waved, and left.

Sena's friends died a little to not let on that she was visiting. But, they kept quiet, until Sena was on the road again.

This GTO had a lot of giddyup, Sena thought. She wished some of her lovers had possessed this much giddyup. Jim Ed, on those high plains near Marfa that she planned to visit, had come close.

Sena originally thought how pleasantly surprised her Marfa friends would be when she arrived, unannounced. As the miles rolled by, doubts surfaced. She passed the first opportunity, at Fort Stockton, to turn southwest. She reflected that some of her grand entrances at parties over the years had been greeted with less fanfare than she expected. Plus, she was deciding, people just do not like surprises.

Sena approached Balmorhea. This was her last opportunity to head southwest, directly into the Davis Mountains, and Marfa beyond. She would spend time at the Balmorhea Springs. If Ernesto, Jim Ed, or someone else she knew happened to be there, this would be a sign from above that she should visit her friends.

The springs and the area had not changed.  Sena rested poolside for an hour, some of the time without her sunglasses. She drew long looks. But, no one believed the famous actress would simply reappear, without notice. 

  Sena finally fired up the GTO. She imagined rolling up at the Andrews Ranch. Something just did not seem right. She headed north, hooked up on a better road at Pecos. At Van Horn, Sena called Bernie her agent, and asked for transport at El Paso. A few hours later, Sena boarded a private jet at El Paso, and headed for home, to California.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

March 10, 1966

Dear Ernesto,

Do you remember me? Ha. I am sorry that I have not dropped you a note in the last ten years. I guess someone there tells you what is in the gossip columns.

I hope everyone is okay. You may know that recently I went through another divorce. But, I am doing okay. My daughter Sierra is seventeen.. Luckily, she does not want to be an actress. But, I am concerned that she does not seem too interested in anything, except having a good time. I really intend to visit all of you again. I may do it soon. I guess that is why I finally am sending another note. Give my love to everyone.

Hugs and kisses

Sena

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

March 17, 1966

Dear Sena, 

We enjoyed your note. The ladies here for sure keep me up to date with the news about you. We never miss any of your movies, either. I am sorry that things did not work out for you with that last guy.

Maria has some health problems, but still gets around and bosses me pretty good. Hermalinda has not changed. Junior played football for the Marfa Steers, but his real love is rodeo. He wants to be the All Around Champion some day. I tell him he should concentrate on steer roping. He will graduate in a couple of months. He wants to hit the rodeo circuit full time, but Jim Ed and the rest of us are trying to convince him to go to college. He could be on the Rodeo Team and still do pro rodeo later, if he continues to improve. To be a good rancher these days, it will help if he goes to college. Texas A&M and a couple of others teach them things that I wish I understood.

The biggest news around here is that Jim Ed married a couple of years ago. His first wife's death was so hard for him that we doubted he would tie the knot again. But, he fell for a school teacher new to Alpine. She was 33 [35now] and had never been married. Jim Ed was 42 [44 now]. I doubt they will have kids, but who knows for sure.

Please visit us any time you can. If we can ever help you, let us know.

Your friend,

Ernesto Garza

Sena read Ernesto's letter with mixed feelings. Jim Ed had been her backup plan, should she tire of movie making and the type of men that she encountered in her glamorous life. She smiled, as she thought that she almost dropped in to Marfa, to see whether Jim Ed was still available. 

At least wise Maria, and probably Ernesto, would have seen through her. Good for Jim Ed, she thought.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

Over the next several years, supermarket tabloids became popular. The papparazzo became aggressive. A photo of Sena in a bikini, on the beach in the south of France, was especially embarrassing. But, Sena tried to view the photo as a good thing. She promptly lost fifteen pounds, and kept them off.

Full length feature films survived the onslaught of television in the 1950s and 60s. But the days of spending three months or so on location making epic films like Big Texan were mostly over. Sena now filmed most of her movies on Hollywood soundstages, a throwback to the Forties and earlier. She still played an older leading lady romantic lead. But, her prediction to Jim Ed came true. She also played the eccentric aunt, and the jealous mother. The part of a schizophrenic tightrope walker was the most challenging. The role earned her a best supporting actress nomination.

Sena was thankful that her on location shoots were pretty much over. This way, she spent more time with her daughter,

Sierra was bright, and graduated from UCLA with an English degree. Sierra did not want to teach, write, or go to grad school. She worked in an art gallery in Beverly Hills, on Santa Monica Boulevard for years, but eventually tired of the every other night artsy fartsy exhibits- parties. Then, Sierra enjoyed toiling for a quite awhile in a bookstore on Ventura Boulevard, in the heart of the Valley. Eventually, she again became bored.

In desperation, Sena suggested an acting class. Sierra declined.

Sierra inherited her mother's curvy, busty figure and also stood at five-four. Her hair was light brown, like her father's. She inherited her dad's chin and cheekbones. Despite a knock out figure, she was not a beauty, like her mother.

Sierra dated a lot of guys, but never was serious with any, at least as far as Sena knew. A fireman friend of Sierra's, more like a kid brother than a boyfriend, was called sometimes to help rescue horses from the Santa Barbara area forest fires. Sena went with her friend after one rescue to check on the horses.  She had never been around animals larger than dogs. Soon, she was volunteering at the big animal clinic.

Sierra had found her calling. She returned to school, and finished the required courses to apply to veterinary school, which took awhile, since she had majored in Liberal Arts. She entered The UC Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. 

In 1985, Sierra was thirty-six years old. She had one more year of vet school.

That same year, her mother was fifty-seven. Sena worked out daily, and kept her youthful figure. After all, her livelihood depended on it. A good hairdresser kept her graying hair looking its natural color. She still turned heads in streets, even when her celebrity was not first recognized.

Her casual relationships with actors, directors, a producer and one writer lasted from five to nine months. All of them were too chatty or self absorbed to give her a memorable screwing.

Sena had only loved, or thought she loved, two men-Nigel, then Eric. At times, an unpleasant thought passed through her conscious. But, she shook it off.

One evening, with a covey of girlfriends and wine, Sena blurted "I've loved two men. But no one has loved me." Sena joked, and her girlfriends thought so, too. On the way home, Sena confronted the unpleasant realty. It was true. Nigel and Eric cared for her. But, it was not romantic love, the way of novels and movies.

Sena knew some couples who finished each other's sentences. They looked at each other the way Nancy Reagan looked at Governor Ron, with adoration, at least with television lights shining. 

Sena thought of these couples and wondered if they realized how lucky they were, as if they had won the lottery. Sena did not realize the ups and downs, the struggle it takes to make a marriage.

Sena reluctantly decided something about her, perhaps her ambition to be the best actress she could be, kept men from loving her. She confided to no one. But, she had given up on romance.

Beyond Sena's self awareness, there was something else. Sena never was more concerned about her husbands' happiness that she was about her own; she would never have sacrificed her life for theirs. Perhaps Sena could grab this kind of love only after sharing of years of experiences, both good and bad.




Appointment in Balmorhea



But, Nigel and Eric were skittish, immature men who did not care to reach first base, much less try to make it home. Sena had never been given a chance to love that way. 

Her only daughter was now happy, with a purpose for living. This made Sena happy.

Sierra had never appeared to be in love. But her mother was not concerned. Her daughter was careful, after observing the romantic disasters of Sena.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

April 19, 1985

Dear Ernesto, 

Well, I write you a note every twenty years or so. I hope that you are still alive! I hope everyone there is okay.

I am in the unusual position, that you may know a lot about me from the newspapers [much of it untrue], but I do not know anything about what has been happening with all of you.Sierra graduated from college. But, she kind of drifted around. Then, kind of late in life, she has found herself. It is a long story. I am happy that she gets out bed, raring to get started- the way you have been up on that ranch all of these years. I am that way, too, ha.

Drop me a line.

Hugs and kisses, 

Sena

_  _  _  _  _  _  _

April 25,1985

Dear Sena, 

I enjoyed hearing from you. You will note the grammar is not as good in this letter as my last one. Maria passed on a couple of years ago. It was before her time, but thankfully she did not suffer. I miss her correcting my grammar, among other things. I am bossy, but I was used to being bossed by Maria.

I did not keep a copy of my last letter to you, written many years ago. But, I think I told you that Jim Ed had married. We thought they were too old to have kids. But, would you think it? They have a daughter, seventeen now, that has brought much joy to all of us.

Junior graduated from Texas A&M. He actually made a good student, which surprised all of us. I think he realized more than us that ranching is now a business. He learned things, even picked up some breeding ideas, which have helped us. He was active on the Rodeo Team, also.

After college, Junior , like his Daddy , joined the Marines. A week before his second tour ended, a bullet in the leg hit his bone. Now, after a couple of operations, one leg is an inch shorter than the other.  He limps pretty good. 

  But, Junior can still steer rope and work cattle, which is what counts with him, ha. Junior has dated enough over the years, that we know he is not a queer. But, he never gets serious about anyone. Or, if he does, we never know about it. He lives in a house that he and his Dad mainly built below Tom's Ridge. I did not help them much. Someone has to run this ranch.

I still hope you will come to Texas. I have to admit, that after thirty years, I am not holding my breath. If I can ever help you, let me know.

Your friend,

Ernesto Garza

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  _

Ernesto and Maria claimed to be boyfriend-girlfriend since both were twelve. But, it really started when he first saw her, at Mass, shortly after her family moved to Marfa.

Ernesto joined the Army two days after his seventeenth birthday. By the time he graduated from high school, the War would be over, he reasoned.

He did not think it right to become engaged, when he did not know when he would return. But, each pledged their devotion and fidelity.

Not many U.S. servicemen returned from overseas still virgins. Ernesto and the other paratroopers that jumped into Normandy that returned still virgins could collectively lift the southwest end of an Army jeep.

Maria wanted him to marry in his uniform, with his medals. Ernesto said no. In their wedding photo, he wore his pre-Army Sunday best.

A few months after they were married, one evening, just as he was about to mount her, Maria rolled him over. Her hand circled his cock, a couple of inches above the base.

"Look at this. My thumb and middle finger cannot meet when my hand circles your pecker. Do you realize how unusual you are, to have eight, thick inches?"

"No. I don't look at other men's peckers when they take a piss."

Maria laughed deeply at that. Ernesto loved her laugh. But, her knowledge meant one thing: women gossiped about such things.

Not much later, a slender smiling Maria greeted him at the door. "I have a story," Maria said, laughing. Ernesto suspected Maria was jealous of his storytelling ability. She was trying to improve hers.

"A young lady, Judy, returns from her honeymoon, to her clerk job at City Hall. An older lady worker asks Judy how the honeymoon was."

Maria brought a hand to her face, cocked her head, rolled her eyes, imitating the newlywed. "It was okay. But, I have a question. What are those round things that hang about eight inches behind the end of my husband's dingus?"

Maria lowered her chin, imitating the older woman. "Judy, I don't know what they are on your husband, but on mine, they are the cheeks of his ass."

She doubled over, laughing. Ernesto grinned. But, the joke made him uncomfortable. Maria was making fun of other husbands, who might be his friends, even attend his church.

But, he loved to hear Maria laugh.

Ernesto's second favorite thing was to lay on his side, with Maria's back pressed against him, while he nuzzled her neck and shoulders, one arm encircling her. Days before she died, Ernesto again told Maria that she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. Through moist eyes, he told her again that she was the only woman that he had ever loved.

Now, she was gone. Hermalinda missed her best friend.  Having no children of her own, Maria had done much for and was beloved by her nephews and nieces. Her church , the community's fund raisers, the Andrews, they all missed her.

Ernesto could not bear moving to an available small house on the ranch, as someone suggested, to help him cope. Her memory hung in the shadows, pulling at him every morning as he left, and waiting every evening for his return.

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _

Sena reread Ernesto's letter several times. She decided it was time to hit the road, with Sierra.

Sena called Ernesto at nine p.m., Texas time. "Bueno?" answered a groggy Ernesto.

"Ernesto? This is Sena Miller. Did I wake you up?"

Throat clearing and harrumphs filled the phone. "Sena is this really you? Yes, I was asleep. It is early to bed, early to rise around here. It is really, really nice to hear your voice."

Ernesto's voice was as strong as ever, now that he was awake. "Every few years you invite me to come back for a visit. Now, I think I may take you up on that," Sena said.

She and Ernesto small talked awhile, mostly with Ernesto fleshing out details of his last letter. Sena expressed sympathy about Maria's passing.

"Ernesto, I will come just to see all of you. But, I do have another objective. I want to introduce Sierra to Junior. Probably nothing will come of it, but I want to do it, anyway. Do you still call Jim Ed's son Junior? He is only a year older than Sierra. He is a little old to call him Junior," Sena said, laughing.

Ernest chuckled. "Well, we called him Junior until Nancy, his sister, was about three. Once his little sister started talking, she tried to call him Brother, which sounded like Bubba. Now, we call him Bubba Junior. Even we think that is funny."

Sena laughed again. "A true Texas name, Bubba Junior."

Sena still had to sell Sierra on a road trip. But, she and Ernesto agreed to meet May 24, around noon , at the Balmorhea Springs.