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Dear Mother

By: coaster2



I'm not exactly sure why my mother and I were never close. I suppose it was because of how I saw her treat my dad. He was constantly being criticized for some sin or other; usually minor and often unjustified. It seemed like he had lived his whole married life in this state of harassment and I often wondered why he had married her when she was so obviously unhappy with him. I was born a year after their marriage and I was their only child. My mother was an attractive woman; now forty years old and as I looked at the early photos of her, she was a very beautiful young lady. Perhaps it was this physical attraction which captured my father; but whatever it was, the marriage had lasted a lot longer than the love. I had some dim memories of happy times when I was a little kid, but that was a long time ago. From the time I was thirteen, I was constantly expecting them to announce their divorce and yet it had never happened. I never got the sense that Mom was angry at me, but that she was angry with everyone. I didn't have the courage to ask my father about their relationship. I was left to wonder on my own.

My name is Ron Francis. I'm sixteen and will be a senior in High School next month. I'll graduate with the '58 Class and with any luck, I'll be accepted at State and start working toward my college degree. My Dad is Sam Francis. I really like him. He's smart and knows a lot about the world and current events. He's a big help to me with my homework since he's also really good at math. My Mom is Helen Francis. I guess you've already got a picture of her. Both my Mom and Dad are what most people would call good-looking. I'm still growing I guess. I've been gaining some muscle since I joined the swim team and my girl friend says it's all in the right places. I trust her.

My father was a middle management officer in an insurance company and as such, made a decent income. Certainly enough that my mother didn't have to work and could stay home to look after me when I was young. After I reached fifteen, I wondered why she didn't get a job or volunteer, just to have something to do with her time. As far as I could tell, she didn't have any hobbies nor did she associate with many of the other neighborhood women. Since I was in school during the week, I wasn't really sure what she did with her days. On my summer vacations, I was lucky enough to have a job at the newest supermarket as a 'box boy'; helping people with their groceries and making the odd delivery on my bike. When I was old enough to drive, I used the market's van to deliver and I had lots to do, both on weekdays and on weekends. As a result, I didn't know how my mother spent her days during the summer months either. 

I discovered my mother's secret quite by accident. It usually happens that way, doesn't it? I was delivering groceries to an ailing, elderly customer one afternoon and as I drove up to her house, I noticed a familiar car parked in front of the house next door. It was my mother's aging '49 Pontiac. I recognized the fender scrapes before I looked at the license plate for confirmation. I had no idea who lived at that house and after I delivered the groceries, I sat in the van, wondering who it could be. For whatever reason, I pulled out my notepad and wrote down the address with a big question mark beside it. I stuffed the notepad back in my shirt pocket and went on about my deliveries. I didn't think of the incident until that evening at dinner when my father and mother were talking.

"How was your day, dear?" my father asked as he always did.

"The usual." she said wearily. "I was home all day with not much to do. I just sat on the back porch in the shade and read for a while."

I looked up at her and couldn't see any sign that she was nervous or uncomfortable with his question, but I knew she was lying. I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and it didn't go away. After dinner, I was up in my room, sitting at my desk, wondering about mother's statement. I pulled out the notebook and wrote down the address in my school binder and wondered how I could find out who she was visiting. I remembered that the library had a reverse directory and I could look up the address and find out who lived there. I made a note to look up that mystery address at the first opportunity. 

The following day, I made time at lunch for a quick trip to the library and looked up the address and I got a phone number and a name: Edwin S. Robinson. I had no idea whether that was the only person living there, but at least I had a name. What I didn't know was what to do next. Today was Wednesday. I had delivered my groceries to the house next door at 2:30 Tuesday afternoon. Perhaps with a bit of planning, I could drive by today at the same time and see if my mother's car was there again. 

By changing my normal route, I was able to drive past the Robinson address just before 2:45 the next afternoon, but my mother's car was nowhere in sight. I wondered if my spotting her car on Tuesday was just a single incident. On Thursday, however, I was in our own neighborhood and I noticed that her car was not in our driveway when I passed our house just after 2:00. I looked at my delivery scheduled and with a quick revision, I headed back toward Tuesday's location and was surprised to see her car once again in front of the same house. I now had a mystery, but once again, I had no clue on what to do next. 

Everyone needs someone to confide in. In my case, my girlfriend, Penny Lane, was the one person I could talk to about the strange occurrences I had observed in the past two days without everyone in town knowing about it. I forgot to mention; I live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone; or so they say. In fact, it isn't true. Either our town isn't that small or we don't socialize the way small town people used to, but I can't honestly say I know half of the people in this town; either by name or by neighborhood. True, there is only one high school and two Supermarkets and one Drive-In Movie Theatre, but still, there are lots of things about my town that I don't know. Penny (her real name is Peony) and I both were born and grew up here and we'll both be in the same senior class in school. We've been friends for as long as I can remember and over that last couple of years, we've started to see each other in a more adult way, I guess. She's a really good looking girl and I'm lucky I'm her steady boyfriend. She's also really smart, so when I need an idea, she's the logical person to ask. I didn't know any grown-ups I could confide in; certainly not my mother and in this case, definitely not my father.

Penny and I see each other almost every day, so I didn't have to wait long to tell her what's been going on and ask her if she had any ideas about what to do next. She didn't disappoint me.

"Well, there's a couple of things we could try." she offered.

"Really? Like what?" I was surprised she was able to think of something this quickly after just having heard my mystery.

"Well, I could pretend to be doing a survey and could ask them some questions. Say I was with the newspaper and they wanted to know what people liked and didn't like in the paper. Then I could ask them how many people read the paper in that house and if they were male or female, adult or children; you know, the usual stuff." But there was a catch.

"When those people come to our house, my mother just slams the door in their face." I said solemnly.

"It's always a risk they won't answer, but if they do, you get some important information." she said brightly.

"Why are you doing the survey and not me? It's my problem." 

"You don't know what they know about your family or you. Maybe someone has a picture of you. It's better this way." she said simply. "Why don't we get started and figure out what questions we need to ask?" 

And so we did. Penny said she had learned something about surveys and how they are designed to get certain kinds of information without people really realizing it at the time. We spent about an hour coming up with the least number of questions we could to get the most amount of information. In the end, we had seven questions that would, she was sure, give us a lot of information about the Robinson household. 

Penny said she would go around to the Robinson house at about ten the next morning. She thought that if there was a Mrs. Robinson, that would be the best time to talk to her. If there was no one home, she would go about seven that evening. But that was when I learned my part in the plan.

"Pete, I want you to be at that house by seven tomorrow morning. I want to know who comes out and when. If there are kids, they won't be off to school, but they may have a baby-sitter. I'm guessing the man of the house will leave sometime between seven and eight to go to work. If the wife works, she'll probably leave shortly after the kids are gone or maybe she'll even drive them. If she does, wait around and see if she comes home. Got it?" she asked brightly.

"Yah. I think so." All I had to do was think of a reason to be up and out of the house that early. I decided on a story about some inventory counting at the store before it opened. Penny approved.

We were all set up for the next morning and I was actually looking forward to it. It was like being an amateur detective, except I was the assistant and Penny was the 'brains' of the outfit. We agreed that if the mother didn't come back to the house, I would phone Penny at nine so that she wouldn't waste her time coming over at ten. She thinks of everything, that girl.

I was all set up at 6:50am the next morning and it's a good thing I was. I was strategically hidden behind a large hedge across the street and I was sure no one on the other side could see me. A man who I assumed was Mr. Robinson, walked out the front door within five minutes of my arrival with the morning paper under one arm and a small briefcase in the other hand. He strolled over to the car in the driveway and put his briefcase and paper in the back seat, slid into the driver's seat and started the car. He just sat there letting the motor idle for a couple of minutes before the front door opened again and a woman stepped out, turning to lock the door. She walked down the steps to the passenger side door of the car and got in without saying anything that I could hear. He backed out of the driveway onto the street and headed in the general direction of town. Well, that answered that question. No kids and both left at the same time. Was he driving her to work or did they both work in the same place? We still had a pretty good mystery to solve. 

I rode my bike down to the nearest phone booth; slipping a nickel into the slot and dialed Penny's home. She answered almost right away and I imagined that she had been sitting beside the phone waiting for my call.

"Well, what happened?" she asked in an excited voice.

"Not much. He came out just before seven and what must have been his wife came out a couple of minutes later. They got in their car and headed for town. No sign of kids at all. She locked the door when they left, so I don't think there's anyone inside." I concluded.

"Good work, Ron. What were they wearing?" she asked; almost as an afterthought.

"Uh, well, he was wearing a suit and tie and a narrow brim fedora... you know ... business clothes ... and she had a dress on; pretty plain, grey and blue I think." I said trying to remember.

"OK ... sounds like they both work. The next thing we have to do is follow them. Can you do that tomorrow?" she asked breathlessly.

"I can try, I guess. I don't know if I can keep up to them on my bike though." I explained.

"Yah ... that could be a problem. Hmmmm." Penny was obviously deep in thought and I had learned to let her do it without interruption. It was something she was good at.

"Ron ... I think we should go to the library and look up the voter's registration list. It shows occupations. It should tell us what they do." 

I would never have thought of that. "OK ... can you do that for me? I have to work and I don't know if I can find the time today."

"Sure ... leave it to me. In the meantime, don't forget to check the house around two this afternoon." she reminded me. "I'll meet you at my house after dinner. Don't be late ... I want to try that survey thing out on them." she warned.

"Got it. See you then. Good luck and ... thanks, Penny. You're a good friend." I said sincerely.

"Be careful Ron. Don't do anything silly. We don't know what's going on in this situation." she cautioned.

"Yah ... I'll be OK. See you later." I finished and hung up the phone. I rode my bike down to the store and pushed it into the loading shed as usual. I picked the van keys up from the shipping counter and headed inside for my first deliveries. I usually did the restaurant run first thing and today would be no exception. I have to say that my mind wasn't completely on my job that day. I was upset with what I thought might be going on between my mother and Mr. Edwin S. Robinson. It was one thing for her to be nasty; but it was quite another for her to be an adulteress. I had looked that word up in my dictionary and the description was not very nice. It was a woman who cheated on her husband with another man and had sex with him. It was hard to believe, but I began to think it was possible. 

I was busy for almost the whole day, so I didn't get to spend too much time thinking about mother and her strange visits. As I was riding home after work, I thought about what I would do if it was true that she was fooling around on Dad. Would I tell him? I didn't know if I could. I didn't want to hurt him but I couldn't let her just get away with it. Jeez, I was already convinced she was guilty and I didn't have any evidence. I didn't like her very much so I guess I just decided she was probably guilty. It didn't feel very good. Maybe there was a completely innocent reason for her to be there those two days. After all, she wasn't there today; but then, this was Friday, the odd day and she seemed to be there on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I hurried through my dinner and excused myself to go to Penny's. Mother reminded me of the dishes and I had to wait for them to finish their dinner before I whipped the plates away and started washing them. It didn't take me long to clean up the kitchen and I was off to Penny's. Dad gave me the OK to use the car as long as I was home by nine sharp. I wouldn't disappoint him tonight.

I got there about 6:30 and she was obviously waiting for me. 

"You all set?" I asked. You will note that I completely forgot to ask her about the voter's list information. I was like that at times; a bit absent minded.

"Yes ... I have the questionnaire here. I typed it out on my dad's stationery. It'll look more official that way." she said. "The voter's list shows his occupation as salesman and his wife as secretary. Both of them are on the list." she concluded.

She got in the car and we headed off toward the Robinson house. It was still light but nearing sunset in another hour or so. Penny was wearing a plain, navy blue skirt and white blouse with plain black shoes. She wanted to look as professional as possible. She needed these people to co-operate.

I stopped the car almost a block from the Robinson house and Penny got out.

"Wish me luck!" she said with a nervous smile.

"You'll be OK ... I just know it." I said confidently. If anybody could pull this off, Penny could.

She was back ten minutes later and flushed with excitement. "Ron ... you'll never guess." she gasped. "They both came to the door and they both answered the questions and then they got into an argument about which answer was right." Her eyes were bright and she was obviously excited by the results of her ploy. I was really proud of her.

"Nice going! Let's go somewhere and figure out what we've learned." I suggested.

She nodded and we headed off to one of our favorite parking spots by the river and stopped. Penny had been reading her notes with deep concentration and once again I was reminded not to disturb her.

"Well ... here's what we've learned." she began. "They both work. They have no children. He is a route salesman for a paper box company and she's a secretary at the Columbia State Bank. He goes out of town for the day on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. She takes the bus home on those days. Ron ... it was amazing. Once I got them started, I couldn't shut them up. They would tell me anything. I made up a couple of questions just standing there." she confessed.

"Wow. What else did you learn?" I asked excitedly.

"Well, he's from here ... a local boy. She's from Bend River. They met when he came back from Europe after the war. I gather she can't have children. He's not a bad looking guy. Maybe that's what your mom sees too." she suggested. "Anyway, they seem to be doing OK. They have been buying some new furniture and just bought a new HiFi and get this; a new Dumont 21" Television. He said he'd be putting up the aerial this weekend."

"OK ... so now we know something about them. It doesn't really tell us what is going on does it?" I asked.

"Perhaps not ... but remember, he's in town all day each Tuesday and Thursday. He can get over to his house easily for the afternoon and still have time afterwards to pick his wife up from work." Penny said with a wrinkled brow. "I think the cops call that 'opportunity' when they arrest someone." 

"Oh ... and one other thing. What school did your mother go to?" she asked excitedly.

"Jefferson ... It's gone now." I answered 

"That's the same school he went to!" she said triumphantly. "That was one of my made-up questions." she grinned with satisfaction.

"You are amazing, Penny." I said with pride. I was lucky to have Penny as my girl friend and I wanted her to be more than just my girl friend when I got a little older. 

I had to admit, Penny got all the information that she set out to get and then some. I also had to admit that it didn't make me feel any better. Penny established that Mom and Mr. Robinson were about the same age and went to the same High School. They must have known each other. It stands to reason. So what was going on? I sat in the car and was quiet for a few moments while Penny just sat and watched me.

"This isn't good ... is it?" Penny finally spoke.

"No ... it isn't. Still, we don't have any proof. I don't know what to do next. I just can't think of anything that would tell us more." I said morosely. 

Penny was silent for a long time before she finally spoke again. 

"What if we scare her ... your mom, I mean?" she asked.

"Why?" 

"I saw a movie the other night on TV. It was about a guy who got an anonymous letter telling him he was in danger. He didn't know who it came from. It drove him crazy. Later he got another letter telling him his days were numbered. It was a really spooky movie and he finally killed himself because he didn't know what was going to happen to him." Penny said all this in a detached voice as if it was coming from somewhere else.

"What are you suggesting Penny ... that we should drive mom crazy?" I asked incredulously.

"No ... but we can scare her. Maybe it will force her to quit what she's doing or something." she suggested.

"What would the letter say?" I asked, curious now.

"How about ... 'Who is Edwin S. Robinson?' and have it typed on plain paper in a plain envelope and no return address?" she suggested.

"OK ... that would rattle her I'll bet." I offered. It didn't sound harmful and yet it would get her upset I imagined. And then I had another thought.

"What if it doesn't work?" I asked her.

Penny thought for a moment and then, as usual, had a good answer. "We send another letter with something like 'does your husband know about Mr. Robinson?'" she smiled.


Dear Mother - Finding Penny



Author's Note: Now before all you flyboys and veterans get on my case about the technical errors, just remember, this is a work of fiction. I've never served in any American military unit and I've never flown an aircraft. The idea is to tell a story without letting the technical stuff get in the way of the plot. I hope that doesn't put you off too much.

This is the third and final episode of the 'Dear Mother' series. Thanks for sticking with it and I hope you enjoy it.

*

Chapter 1:

I turned and looked back down the aisle at the beautiful woman walking slowly toward me, her father on her arm. She was radiant in her lovely white bridal gown, and her father was handsomely attired in his formal tuxedo. The organ music played the traditional theme in the background while everyone in the church watched in anticipation. I glanced quickly at Frank and Mom, sitting in the front row, smiling happily at me. Mom's cheeks were streaked with tears, but I knew they were the tears of her happiness.  

Today, my dream would come true. I felt like I had been waiting for this moment since I was a kid when I first met my future bride. Penny Lane was only a few feet from me now, and in a very short time, we would be man and wife. I was rigid with both excitement and raw nerves. I had come through some harrowing scrapes in my flying career without feeling quite as uptight as I did at this moment. I knew my nervousness was a sign of just how important this moment was to me. I looked down to make sure my dress whites were perfect and that my fly wasn't open. I looked up and she was there, in front of me, smiling through her tears.

I was about to enter a whole new world. I reached out to hold her hands as the minister conducted the ceremony. I don't think my eyes left her for the entire time that he read the well-known script that would confirm our commitment to each other. When we had parroted the words, answered the questions, and said our "I Do's," I pulled her gently to me, wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her with all the passion I felt for her. A life-long desire had now come to pass, and I was the happiest man on earth. It hadn't come easily, however.

Chapter 2:

My third year at Oregon State University ended on a mixed note. First, I lost my girlfriend Liz when she went back to Canada to finish her schooling. She had qualified for her national swim team, and they wanted her closer to home. That hurt. We had just become lovers a few months earlier, and I was seriously considering asking Liz to marry me, but all that went out the window. 

I would have been really down in the dumps if something amazing hadn't happened just after Liz left. I found my mother. She was in Bellingham, Washington, and she had remarried. What's more, she looked terrific and was genuinely happy with her new husband, Frank Trimble. He was a pilot and a really nice guy. I really felt much better about Mom when I saw how happy she was and that she wasn't upset with me after I had told my Dad about her affair. I promised myself that I would stay close to Mom, and try and make up for the heartache I had caused her. On the other hand, if Dad hadn't divorced her she would never have met Frank, so you never know how things are going to turn out. 

Frank took me up in one his planes, and I was a thrilled to be sitting in the cockpit with him. He even let me fly it for a while. I was so excited that I knew right then and there that I wanted to learn to fly. I still had to serve my time with Uncle Sam after I graduated, so it was a matter of choosing which service would give me the best chance to become a pilot. Frank had been in the Air Force, and naturally, he thought that would be the best choice.

When I got back to Corvallis to start my summer job, I got another big surprise. Penny had tried to call me when I was up north. She had left a number, but it was for a motor inn in Eugene and she had checked out a couple of days before I got back. That really got me thinking. With Liz gone, I really didn't have anyone that I could look forward to being with besides Mom and Frank. Penny and I had been really close and even though we were really young, we had been thinking about marriage too. It was crazy, since we were only eighteen then, but we were in love. We had known each other since grade school.

When I moved to Oregon, we wrote to each other for a while, but soon I could tell it was impossible to keep things going with our being so far apart. I told her to look for someone else because I wasn't going to be back for a long time. She knew I wasn't going to see my dad after what he did to Mom. Anyway, she wrote me a letter and told me that she had found a new guy, and that he was a nice guy, and they had a lot in common. I think I might have hurt her feelings with my letter. I had mixed emotions about her seeing another guy too. At the time, I thought I was in love with Liz, but it felt funny when Penny said she was with someone else. I didn't realize until I got that phone message that I still had a strong feelings for her.

We were both twenty-one now, starting our last year of college, and needed to plan our futures. The more I thought about mine, the more two things kept coming back; Penny and flying. At least now I had something to look forward to and someone I wanted to talk to and hoped to be with. I decided to make a long distance call to Penny's home and see just what was happening in her life. I needed someplace private to do that, so the first person I thought of was Aunt Hilda. I called her from the dorm and told her what I wanted to do. Naturally, she was all for it. I promised I would pay her for the call.

Aunt Hilda reminded me that we were two hours behind Aberdeen, so the best time to call might be after my work during the week. After six o'clock the rates were cheaper and it would still only be just after eight in Aberdeen. That sounded like the perfect time, and on top of that Aunt Hilda invited me to have supper with her. I would never turn down one of her home cooked meals. Since she wanted to hear all about Mom and her new husband, it was the perfect opportunity.

My new summer job was in Salem, so I had a bit of planning to do to make sure I could get there and back without too much trouble. The alumni had arranged a better job since I was now a co-captain. I was grateful that I would have a lot more money to work with by September. What I didn't realize was that there was an additional benefit.

When I showed up at Capitol Motors on Monday morning, I checked into the office and learned that the boss wasn't in yet and wouldn't be for another hour. I wandered through the empty showroom, looking at the new Fords and Mercurys, wishing I could afford one. After a while, I went outside and walked over to the used car lot and looked over the inventory. It was pretty clear that there were two classes of car on the "Used" lot; shiny late-model cars on the front row, and older more experienced units in the back row. When I bought my first car, I was determined that it was going to be off the front row and not the back row. 

Mr. Randolph, the owner and an OSU alumnus, showed up just after nine. I waited until he went to his office before I walked toward it and knocked lightly on the door frame. He looked up with a questioning face.

"Yah ... what can I do for you?" he said in a rough voice.

"I'm Ron Francis from OSU. I was told to report to you for a summer job." 

"Oh yah ... Uh ... See Marty Coulson and he'll tell you what he wants you to do. Do you have a car?" 

"No. I've been using the bus."

"OK ... you can have anything off the back row as long as you don't take the same car two days in a row." His head dropped back down to concentrate on his work.

"Huh?" was my intelligent response.

He looked at me like I have five eyes and then smiled. "I suppose you didn't know that I'll lend you a car to get here, as long as you don't take the same car two days in a row, and don't crack it up."

"Uh ... no ... I mean ... I didn't know," I stammered. "But thanks ... that's great ... thanks."

"OK kid, but don't go getting any ideas about the cars in the front row. Understood?" 

"Yes ... Yes of course. Thank you! That's really great." I was really surprised and delighted with this turn of events.

I was about to head off to find my contact when I suddenly realized I couldn't remember his name. "What was the name of the guy I was supposed to see?" 

"Marty Coulson! He's in the shop. Now get to work, OK?" 

"Yes sir ... and thanks again," I said more confidently as I headed for the shop.

I introduced myself to Marty. I could tell he was a mechanic, based on the greasy overhauls he wore and the unlit cigar stuffed in the side of his mouth. He told me my job was to wash the cars on the lot and run errands to the automotive suppliers and other car dealers for parts. I would use the company truck for those runs. Marty said if I was smart, I would get the cars washed first thing since they had to be washed and cleaned every day. If I had some longer routes to run in the truck, I might not have enough time to get all the cars washed before the shop closed. 

Marty also kept the keys for the used cars, and he would provide me with them for whatever car I used to head back to OSU each night. I asked Marty about weekends, and he said it was OK to take a car on Saturdays because I was working that day. Sunday's they were closed. The alumni people had neglected to tell me this was a six-day-a-week job; but then I didn't have anything special to do anyway, so it would help fill the time. As it turned out, the job wasn't very challenging and I was able to fit in the time for a couple of extra courses for my final year. The pay was good, and since I was working an extra day I was making more money than I ever had. It was also a lot more than I had expected. 

On Wednesday, that first week, I went to Aunt Hilda's where I would make the phone call to Penny's home. I was really nervous. I didn't know what to expect, but she had called me so she was clearly still thinking about me and wasn't mad or anything. We finished the dinner dishes, and I went to the living room to make the call. I dialed the operator, gave her the town and Penny's number. I heard a series of clicks. The operator spoke to another operator and then, after a bit, I heard a ringing. 

"Hello?" a man's voice answered. It didn't sound like Penny's dad.

"Mr. Lane?" I asked tentatively.

"Nope ... sorry ... you must have the wrong number." 

"Is this Walnut 2 9195 in Aberdeen?" 

"That's right, but no one named Lane lives here."

"Oh ... oh I see ... I'm sorry to have bothered you." I hung up slowly.

I was buffaloed. I had the right number. I was sure of it. I had dialed it so many times I could do it my sleep. Maybe they've moved, I thought. One way to find out was to write a letter to the old address and see what happened. If I got an answer, I'd know where her family was, and they would know where Penny was. If they'd moved, maybe it would get forwarded. The worst thing that would happen is I'd get it back unopened. Not much to lose for a five cent stamp.

I wrote her a short letter telling her I had gotten her message, but she had checked out before I could call back. I told her I would have loved to have talked to her and found out what was going on in her life. I was hoping I'd hear from her, and we could start writing to each other again. I crossed my fingers and stuck it in the mail box on the Commons.

Mom and Frank called twice a month and it was great to talk to them, even if I wasn't in a private place. The hall of the dorm was pretty quiet in the summer, but when classes resumed, I thought it would be much more difficult to hold a personal conversation. I had called in at the Air Force recruiting office in Salem and had a talk with one of the officers. With my university education, I would certainly be officer candidate material, but there was no guarantee that I would be pilot material. They couldn't offer any promises.

I spent the summer working at the car lot. It wasn't a bad job. I got to take a car back to the dorm every day and it made my getting back and forth to Salem a whole lot easier. They even provided the gas for the car; almost a half a tank. I also got to know which of the back row cars were the good ones and which were the lemons. I narrowed my choices down to about five or six different ones, hoping they wouldn't all get sold over the summer. Marty figured out what I was doing and said I was pretty smart for a college boy. We got along great. He taught me what to look for in used cars so as not to get stuck with a lemon. I was grateful as I was sure this information would come in very handy in the future.

My senior year started just after Labor Day. I didn't take me long to get back into my routine, but I was missing Liz. We had been inseparable for two years and it took me a while to adjust to being on my own again. Funny thing though, I didn't have any ambition to go find another girlfriend. Not even when my letter to Penny came back marked "Return to Sender". The Lanes had apparently moved, and I had no way to find them. Aunt Hilda wondered if Penny were attending the University of Oregon in Eugene, and that's why she had called from there. It was easy to find out, and one phone call later I was assured that no Peony Lane or Penny Lane was registered at U of O. Another dead end.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw a twenty-one year old guy who needed to shave every day and looked pretty square compared to some of the other guys on campus. I was no longer a virgin, and I was a much bigger and more muscled guy than when I had arrived in Corvallis. I had experienced a lot in the last three years, and I had to smile at most of it. I was a pretty decent swimmer, and now co-captain of the swim team. I was a pretty good student too. I did well in my classes, and was sure to graduate next spring. 

Despite all this, I was apprehensive about my future. I really didn't have a clear idea of what path I should take. I was certain now that I wanted to learn to fly, but nothing about that ambition was automatic. The Air Force Academy had been formed, and with more applicants than spaces, my chances of getting the opportunity to become a pilot were not great. I thought about the Navy, but then, the Naval Academy in Annapolis was just as remote a possibility as Colorado Springs. Starting my education all over again just didn't seem logical.

Our team had a meet at Eureka College in Eureka, California, early in the fall, and it was there that I got interested in the Coast Guard. I was still trying to decide to which service I would "volunteer" myself, and I had begun to doubt if I had a chance for Uncle Sam to teach me to fly. Was it was one of those hopes that might never come to pass? 

I had a couple of hours off before the events started in the afternoon, and I wandered down near the Coast Guard base. It hadn't occurred to me that they had aircraft in their operations, but when I saw a transport sitting on the apron and a couple of seaplanes taking off, the lights went on. Suddenly I thought the Coast Guard was kind of cool. This just might be the best chance to fulfill my ambition.

I knew I had to carry out my duty to my country. I had no enthusiasm for ending up in some place like Vietnam, but I had no strong sense of what I wanted to do with my life if I wasn't able to be a pilot. I didn't know how I would make a living, and I fretted that I would end up as a vacuum cleaner salesman if I weren't careful. The whole idea was depressing, and without Liz to cheer me up, I wasn't the happiest person to be around.

I had my job at Capitol Motors and the use of a car, so I really couldn't complain. I had money in my jeans and I could have had any number of dates if I wanted to, but I had no enthusiasm for the girls. I would usually hang out with the guys, or go to one of the many sports events on campus on the weekends. I would drink a few beers and play a little pick-up basketball now and then, but nothing serious. I was lucky, I had swimming to consume my spare time. 

I didn't enjoy my success on the swim team that I had the previous two years. I'm sure it was because I didn't have Liz there to push me along to improve my performance. It wasn't that I didn't care; I just didn't seem to be as motivated as I should have been for a co-captain of a major college athletic team. No one said anything, but I could sense the disappointment at our results and of my efforts. In the end, I was just glad it was over and I could move on.

Frank and Mom attended my Graduation, bringing Aunt Hilda along with them. I really enjoyed my day with them. I was pleased that I had graduated with good marks, and I could honestly add B.A. after my name on my résumé. We had a really nice dinner at Aunt Hilda's, which was better than any restaurant we could have picked. Mom and Frank gave me a very nice blazer and slacks as a graduation present and Aunt Hilda gave me a cool dress shirt and tie. All I needed was a new pair of dress shoes, and I was ready for the business world. First, however, I had a personal commitment to fulfill.

Chapter 3:

I knew I could take a chance and not enlist in one of the services and if luck was with me, I wouldn't be drafted. On the other hand, I had a burning desire to learn to fly and I was determined to do whatever it took to realize that dream. The services were the only realistic chance I had to fulfill that ambition. In addition, I felt a moral obligation to serve my country. I just didn't want to end up getting killed in some foreign country if I could avoid it.

I decided to join the Coast Guard. It wasn't my first choice, but I thought it would probably keep me out of Vietnam. There was still a chance that I could become a pilot, and that remained my foremost ambition. I took the bus to Portland, enlisting at the U.S.C.G. recruitment office there. I had a couple of weeks after my physical to say goodbye to Mom, Frank, Aunt Hilda, Marty, and my friends from Oregon State. It was the first step in the rest of my life, and something good might happen yet.

Six weeks later, I was jumping for joy. I had been accepted into Flight School. We would start out on trainers, but to be honest, I didn't care if they were W.W.1 vintage biplanes. I just wanted to fly. As it turned out, I got my wish, but it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I was immersed in an engineering program that almost overwhelmed me. I had no idea learning to be a pilot was so complicated. Navigation, flight controls, aircraft systems, emergency procedures, and so much more.

I know what got me through it was that I was determined to succeed. I wouldn't let anything stand in my way. I really sweated out the courses and lost count of the hours and hours of study I put in to make sure I made it. The flying part turned out to be the easiest. I wasn't afraid of the aircraft, and I wasn't trying to over-control it. I seemed to have a feel for how to get the most out of my "ship," and I think that was a big factor in my succeeding in flight school. I was on top of the world! As hard as the study was, I was flying!

During my time at Pensacola Flight School, I made some friends, two of whom would become my "best buddies." Tinker "Tink" Taylor was my closest pal, but Chip Bilstrom wasn't far behind. All three of us were hooked on flying and all three of us knocked ourselves out to make sure we got our wings. We helped each other, even if it was just to cheer each other up when things got tough. We drank beer together, chased girls together and generally became unofficial brothers.

Tink was a good-ole-boy from northern Alabama. Smart as a whip, he helped me get through the bookwork many times, while I helped him with the flying part. Chip was a flat-lander, like me. He came from Fargo, North Dakota. He made it pretty much the same way I did; he was a good, but not natural pilot, so he worked hard on the studies. We grew up pretty quickly at OCS. We were men and we were expected to be leaders, officers, and gentlemen at all times. Well, almost at all times. We had to cut loose now and then. The pressure was pretty intense, and I know we all felt it. 




Dear Mother - Finding Penny



The Grumman Albatross was our first experience with an amphibian aircraft. It could land on water as well as a runway. I thought it was a great looking aircraft, and I fell in love with it the moment I saw it in the flesh. There was something about that awkward "Goat" that I loved. Maybe it was because only the crew who flew it really appreciated what a great aircraft it was. They had tried to replace it with helicopters, and they were still trying in 1965. It's slow and noisy and vulnerable to salt water, but it was built like a Sherman tank, and those old Wright Cyclones could keep it in the air longer than I could stay awake. As Tink would say, "We were luckier than a dog with two dinks!" getting to fly these birds. It might get past 200 knots on a good day and cruising speed was about 130 knots, but we didn't care - other than if we were on an emergency run when every minute counted. 

When we graduated from flight school in Pensacola, Tink, Chip, and I had become a very tight trio. We had pretty much covered every bar in the area, looking for friendly women, and there was nothing like a pair of wings to get their attention. Our only problem was our competition; the Navy flyboys. The "jet jockeys" carried that extra brass that we couldn't. We didn't suffer though. The three of us made out pretty good during our time there. 

I had thought about trying to find Penny, but I didn't even know where to start. I knew she wanted to be a writer, but besides that, I had no information. I tried to think of someone who she was close to other than me, and who might know where she was. It was more than four years since I had seen her, so it was a long-shot at best. I remembered Dorothy Perkins and with a bit of trial and error, I found her phone number. 

"Hi, Dorothy. I don't know if you remember me ... It's Ron Francis," I said, a bit haltingly.

"Oh sure ... I remember you Ron. How are you?" she asked brightly.

"Fine, thanks. Ahh ... Dorothy ... the reason I called, I'm looking for Penny Lane," still stammering.

"Oh ... Oh, gee, I don't know where she is, Ron. She left town with some guy ... Brian was his name I think. I think she might have said something about New York, but, gee ... I'm not sure," she confessed.

"New York? So ... she was with some guy?" I wasn't sure I wanted to hear her answer.

"Yah ... like I said ... Brian somebody. I don't think they were real close, though ... if you know what I mean."

"No ... you mean she wasn't ... like ... engaged or anything?" I was searching, hoping for the best.

"Oh no. She told me that he was just a boyfriend ... you know ... nothing serious."

I felt a temporary wave of relief, and I thanked Dorothy for her help and had her promise to tell Penny I was trying to get in touch with her and that I was in the Coast Guard. She promised to pass along the message if she saw her, and that was the end of the call. As I hung up the phone, I felt better, even though I was no closer to finding Penny than I had been before. But there was hope, and I was thinking of my next move. How would I find Penny in a city of eight million people?

Tink, Chip and I all graduated flight school and were promptly assigned right seat duties at three different bases. Tink ended up, of all places, in Mobile, Alabama, just around the corner from Pensacola and just upwind of his home. Chip pulled Traverse City, Michigan and lucky me, I got Kodiak, Alaska. I had to look it up on a map just to be sure, and when I did, I wish I hadn't. Chip, ever the humorist, thought I was the lucky one to have all those Eskimo women to myself. Tink was a bit disappointed at being right back home again, but all in all, he was just happy to be flying. All of us were assigned right seats: co-pilots. It wouldn't take long to move up to pilot though. With all the conversions to helicopters, we would be left-seat bound soon enough. All three of us were qualified only on the HU-16E Albatross.

Now, I know there are people who would tell you that they love Kodiak, Alaska, and it was home, and they wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Hell, I met some of them. I'm just not one of them. There's isolated and then there's life on Mars. Kodiak qualified for the latter. Fishing boats, derelict whalers, Indians, bad weather and ocean. How they came to call the Pacific Ocean by that name is a mystery to me. It is anything but peaceful. I can't count the number of times we'd been called out to look for some foundering freighter or drifting crab boat in the middle of forty-foot waves. I pitied the guys on the cutters. Every time I thought we had it bad, I would remind myself of their job, and just keep it to myself. 

The one thing above all others that we learned quickly was to keep our gear and our "ship" in good order. One mistake or one equipment failure in that environment, and it might be your last. I guess I became a bit fanatical about it for a while. Fear, or maybe just over-reacting, call it what you want, but I was merciless on our crew if everything wasn't in perfect working order. 

The one thing we couldn't control, of course, was the weather. Naturally, most of our missions were the result of extreme weather, and it was one thing to take off and start looking for your target with low ceilings, heavy crosswinds and icing conditions. It was another thing to head home, bone weary after hours of futile searching with no result, and try to concentrate on getting back in one piece. As time went on, that airstrip got smaller and further away, I thought. At the end of fifteen months, I didn't care if they assigned us to Vietnam. Anything was better than Kodiak ... I thought!

I heard an Edgar Allen Poe quote recently; something about being careful what you wished for ... you may get it. We got it. After serving my time in Alaska, and nearly killing myself twice (one botched water landing in rough seas, and one bad decision on marginal weather), I was delighted, almost delirious, to be transferred to Miami. What the hell, this was heaven compared to the North Pacific. Right? Wrong!

Now don't get me wrong, I like Florida and god knows, there's enough good-looking women parading around to keep a healthy male erect for years to come, but there's a couple of other things that go with the territory. Like hurricanes, and sharks, and mean guys with a chip on their shoulder and women with nasty infections. Well, I'm sure you get the idea. 

I had been promoted to Lieutenant, and I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had my shiny new silver bars, a left seat, and a not-so-new MG-A. I was pretty hot stuff, I thought. I was sitting in one of the local watering holes with my buddies and we were eyeing a couple of better-than-average babes sitting a couple of tables away. Chip and I had been reunited in Miami, and getting the same posting was a rarity. We were pretty "cool," as the saying went, and when we were on a roll, we didn't have much trouble scoring with the ladies.

While I was in Kodiak, I'd pretty much given up my search for Penny. I didn't have any real opportunity to try when I was in Alaska, and I guess if I were honest, I'd kind of put her out of my mind. Alaska was lonely and since I wasn't one to hit on some other guy's girl, or wife, I had been "dry" for over a year. I was ready for some action and those two women looked pretty damn fine to me. Chip and I got up and sauntered over to the ladies' table and introduced ourselves.

"Hi, I'm Buck Rogers, and this is my able assistant, Steve Canyon," I began. That got a good laugh from the girls right off the bat, and I knew we were on the right track.

"Can we buy you girls a drink?" Chip asked with his best flyboy grin.

"Yah ... sure ... if it's OK with my husband," the blonde answered.

I looked at Chip and he looked at me and the same thought occurred to both of us. Oh! Oh!

Too late! Coming up from behind out of the poolroom, were a couple of guys who looked about seven foot nine, weighed five hundred pounds, and had tattoos of alligators on their eyelids. We were in big trouble.

"What are you two assholes doin'?" the one in front asked.

"Sorry, man. Didn't realize the ladies were with someone. Our mistake," Chip offered by way of apology.

"Your mistake all right," his pal said and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with severe jaw pain, and stars in my eyes. Now, I'm a pilot, not a fighter. These guys would kill us if we tried to come back, so I just picked myself up and turned to head for the door. I had no clue where Chip was. That's when the big guy hit me again, right on the ear. Down I went again, this time with acute pain in the ear, and a ringing noise to go with the stars. Shit, this wasn't any good at all.

On my way back up to try and stand, I saw Chip and he was lying, propped up against the wall and the other guy was hitting him in the stomach and ribs in a very workmanlike way. Chip was trying to protect himself with his arms, but neither of us were any good at this, and I was starting to think we would end up in the hospital or worse, when were saved by the cavalry. In this case, it was the MPs. I suppose the bartender had called them, and they arrived in the nick of time or maybe a few punches late. At least they made it stop happening. 

"These two assholes were trying to pick up our wives!" one of the big guys yelled. "You guys in uniform think you can have anything you want, you pricks. Well, then next time I see you, there aren't going to be any MPs around, and you're ass is gonna' be mine!" he spat. I believed him. This would be a good place to avoid, I thought. Bit late with that idea, Ronnie-boy.

We staggered out of the place with the MPs at our side. Chip was in bad shape. I was pretty sure he must have busted a rib or two, and it turned out I was right. He could hardly breathe and the MPs volunteered to take us back to the base where he could get some treatment. I was probably going to have a sore jaw, a couple of loose teeth and a god-awful pain in my ear, but otherwise, I'd live.

"Don't you wise-guys ever learn? Leave the local 'quim' alone. They're poison. Fuck off uptown if you want to get laid. Those two broads thought that little scene was very funny. I'll bet you did too ... right?" the tough old Petty Officer sneered. I was nothing we didn't deserve, I thought. Ignorance can be very painful; it was especially so for Chip. 

We recovered from our wounds, although Chip was grounded for three weeks while he learned to breathe again. It kind of took the fun out of the hunt for us. As Chip correctly identified, we were pilots, not prizefighters, and besides, we were way out of our weight class. 

I was expecting some trouble after the bar incident, but it didn't happen. We got a lecture about using better judgement from the C.O., but other than that I guess they figured we'd gotten the message without them having to hammer it into us. I suspected that if it happened again, we wouldn't be so lucky. When I ran into the MP a couple of weeks later, I thanked him for his help and for not making a big deal out of it with our skipper. He smiled and said he figured we were smart enough not to let it happen again, shook my hand when I offered it, and that was that. 

It was coming up to hurricane season; a stinking hot August with air so thick it hurt your lungs to breathe. It was a relief to go flying just to get some cool air for a while, but it was no fun on the tarmac when we were in the duty shack, just killing time until something happened. Chip had a way of going comatose that seemed to work for him. He said he just put his mind in neutral and forgot about the heat and humidity and kind of put himself in a state of semi-consciousness. We kidded him about this a lot, but really, we were envious. The rest of us were dying. We worked every idea we could think of to stay cool. The air conditioner in the ready-room was no match for this weather. 

Just when I didn't think it could get any worse, it did. Hurricane Beulah waltzed up the eastern side of the Caribbean, and was heading straight for us. I thought I'd seen some nasty weather, but when we were up at twenty five thousand feet, looking right at that vicious curl pattern, I knew we were in for an ugly experience. About three hours before the storm was expected to hit the Keys, we were grounded, and all we could do was watch. Anyone out in that mess wasn't going to get help for a while if they got into trouble. 

I never was frightened of the weather in Kodiak. It was rough and cold and ominous, but only my mistake or a mechanical problem would end up killing me there. My first hurricane experience frightened me. It was out of my control and it was violent. It ripped roofs off buildings like they were tissue paper. Palm trees were bent over at ninety degrees. Debris was flying through the air everywhere, and anyone out in that maelstrom would be just plain lucky not to get hit by something. During the time I spent in Miami, I never got used to hurricanes. I had a couple of close shaves when we were stretching our time looking for a crippled ship or a lost boater. We stayed out longer than we should have, and getting back to our base was touch-and-go. 

As I said in the beginning, I really loved the "Goat", as we called her. Solid as a rock and reliable as a Model T, she saved our bacon more than once. More importantly, we took part in a lot of rescues, thanks to a tight crew and, now and then, some good luck. I seemed to have a feel for these old Grummans. I had flown at least a half dozen different ones and each one had its own personality, but I think they all knew I loved them, and they all behaved like a lady should. Helicopters were gradually replacing them, and I thought to myself that my time in the Coast Guard might be done when these old girls were retired.

My next posting was, of all places, New York City, or more accurately, Brooklyn. Of all the places you would expect to find a Coast Guard Station, this wasn't the one most people would think of. Nevertheless, it was an active and vibrant base and it was here that my life took a new direction, and my future became clearer.

Tink had been posted to San Diego, Chip to New London and, as I said, I got the "Big Apple." I was still flying my beloved Albatross, and I was a happy man. I was out of the hurricane zone and into the commercial shipping lanes. The sea was more like Alaska in a way. The North Atlantic can produce some dramatic storms, and with all the traffic in the area between Boston and Baltimore, we had plenty of action. Chip and I stayed in touch, and we got to see one another now and then. 

Tink figured he had died and gone to heaven in San Diego. His only beef was that he had to go back to flight school to get qualified on the Fairchild C-123 Provider, a fixed wing ground-based search and rescue aircraft. We felt for him, but knew our day was not far ahead. Brooklyn was about to be designated a training base for helicopters. It was beginning to look like I might not be able to avoid giving up my "Goat," and that would be sad. Call me a dinosaur, but that's the way I felt.

All through my career in the Coast Guard, I had kept in touch with Mom and Frank. We talked to each other at least twice a month and on special occasions like birthdays. I had a couple of leaves in Kodiak, and I hopped a ride to Seattle and went up to Bellingham to visit them. Frank spent a lot of time trying to convince me how wonderful Alaska was, but I'm afraid his efforts were wasted on me. We traded war stories and generally bored the hell out of Mom when we were together, but we became pretty close, and I stopped thinking of him as my step-father after a while.

Mom was looking just as great as she had when I had first found her four years earlier. Maybe it was my imagination, but she hadn't aged at all, and I put that down to Frank. She had become active in a couple of local charities, and was spending some time with her friends who were also involved. It kept her busy and alive. All in all, I saw a really happy woman, and I was just as happy for her. After the grief Dad had put her though, she more than deserved her new life.

Strange things can happen when you least expect them, and that's exactly what occurred six months after I was posted to Brooklyn. I was sitting in the base optometrist's office waiting for my annual checkup, idly thumbing through a magazine. I wasn't really paying much attention to the contents until I saw a story about New York tourism and the attempt to "clean up the city's image." By chance, I looked at the byline on the story and blinked. It read "Story by Penny Lane." 

Now, I was pretty sure there weren't an awful lot of women writers named Penny Lane. So, the first thing I did was copy the name of the article, the name of the magazine publisher and their phone number on a piece of paper and stuck it in my pocket. In the space of a few seconds, my plans had suddenly changed. The search was back on. 

When I left the optometrist's office, I headed back to my room and went right to the phone. I called the publisher's number and immediately got stone-walled. No, they didn't know a Penny Lane; she didn't work for the magazine. She was probably a freelance writer, and they didn't give out personal information, even if they had it. Blah, blah, blah, etc., etc., etc. I hung up in disgust and sat back in my chair. Frustrated! So close and yet so far, as the saying goes. It had to be "My Penny," I reasoned. Who else could it be?

I decided that my quest would be revitalized, and I would make a serious effort to find Penny. Even if she wasn't interested in me, or was married and had six kids, at least I would be able to put her out of my mind. I needed a strategy to find her and my first instinct was to do some research. Do writers belong to any organization? How do they get published? Is Penny published regularly anywhere? Who would know?

My first thought was to start with the newspapers. After all, how many writers got their start with newspapers by getting an article or two published? It was a place to begin, and how many newspapers would there be anyway? I found out. A lot. A whole lot. Dozens. Between the mainstream dailies, the local giveaways, the weekly tabloids, the underground press ... well, you get the idea. When I had first arrived at Governor's Island, I had pulled out the New York phone book and looked up Lane, P., and started calling. Talk about a futile project!

I began with the mainstream dailies and after fumbling around for a while, I finally figured out that the most likely person who would know of her would be the features editor. Every paper had one, although some of them had different titles, and on the smaller papers, multiple roles. It was a slow and painful process. I had a couple of encouraging conversations along the way. One of the editors remembered talking to Penny about an article she had written, but they never used it, and he didn't have a phone number for her. There was no way to know if it was my Penny.

Another editor thought she had talked to Penny, but couldn't remember when or what about, or if she had a card or note that would have her phone number. She sounded highly disorganized, and I suspect her memory was too. It took almost a month of trying off and on to finally get a lead, but when it came, I was elated. I had been talking to an editor who worked for a publisher who produced local promotional newsletters. They would have little stories about businesses or people of interest, and would be distributed free in various selected neighborhoods. 

His name was Warren Quincy, and I'll never forget him. He virtually put me in front of that preacher with Penny. He started asking questions as to what this was all about, and for some reason I decided to tell him. Boy, did I tell him. He invited me to his office and wanted to hear more about my story. I had no idea if he was pretty sure that the Penny Lane he knew was the Penny Lane I was looking for. But he got hooked on my tale, and the next thing I knew I was giving him my life-history, or at least the last ten years of it.




Dear Mother - Finding Penny



Warren was a strange guy, but a great listener. He put all the facts together, and I think that's what convinced him he had the right Penny. He finally told me what I wanted to know.

"Well, I wasn't sure at first, Ron, but I think I know where you can find your girl," he admitted. He reached in the vest pocket of his shirt and pulled out a business card and handed it to me. I looked at it and my jaw dropped. It was a simple white card with dark green lettering and read:

Penny Lane

Journalist

Chelsea 6 4833

"You had this all along?" I said, not a little pissed-off.

"Well, I thought I might have it. I had to hunt around for it, and found it yesterday," he said a bit nervously.

I thought about it and decided he wasn't playing games with me. I grabbed his hand and shook it rather violently.

"Thanks! This is terrific! I won't forget this!" I must have acted a bit goofy because he was almost laughing.

"Promise me something, Ron. If it is your Penny, I want to hear how all this turns out. It's a hell of a story," he grinned.

"You got it. If she's my Penny, I'll owe you ... and I always pay my debts." 

"Good luck. I hope she's the one."

I almost stopped at a phone booth outside on the street to try the number and see if it was her, but something told me to find a quiet place and think about what I wanted to say to her. Why was I calling her after all these years? How did I feel about her? What did I want to know about her life? The answers were obvious to me, but I was uncertain about her reaction to my reappearance. I don't know what I would do if it weren't my Penny.

I decided to head back to the base and call her from my room. I looked at my watch. It was nearing three in the afternoon. If I called sometime around five, I had a decent chance of catching her. Maybe she worked from home. I began to walk and then, caught a bus, then walked some more before hailing a cab, finishing my journey at the base gate.

At ten to five I couldn't wait any longer. I picked up the phone and dialed her number. It rang three times before it was picked up.

"Hello?" It was her voice. I'd know it anywhere. It was my Penny!

"Penny ... it's me ... Ron," I said, trying to contain my nervousness.

"Ron?" There was a pause and then, "Oh my god, Ron! Is it really you? Ron Francis?" She sounded excited and it made me excited too. It sounded like she was glad to hear from me, I thought.

"Yup. Same one you went to school with in Aberdeen." 

"Oh Ron, it's been so long. How are you? Where are you?"

"Well, right now, I'm at my room in the Bachelor Officers Quarters at the Governor's Island Coast Guard Station," I answered.

"Here ... here in New York? You're in the Coast Guard?" She seemed completely stunned that it was me. "Can you come here ... I mean ... can we get together?" she asked.

"I was hoping you'd want to. I have the most amazing story to tell you," I said hopefully.

"Oh, I'd love to. When? Tonight? Tomorrow?" She was anxious to see me, that much was evident.

"Whenever you want. I've got a few days leave, and I've been trying to find you since you left me that phone message from the motel in Eugene," I fibbed.

"You have?" She seemed shocked by the idea.

"Well, off and on, to tell the truth. I've been out of touch for part of the time, but I can tell you all about it when we meet," I suggested. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here in New York. I have a studio apartment in SoHo. Why don't you come here? I'm dying to see you." It was all the encouragement I needed. 

"I'm guessing it'll take me an hour to get uptown to your place, so why don't we have dinner together? We have lots to talk about," I said.

"That sounds perfect ... as long as you let me make the dinner. I'm not sharing you with anyone tonight." She didn't sound like she was going to take no for an answer. This was a different Penny from our high school days.

"Sold! What's your address?" When I had written it down and we signed off, it was all I could do not to let out a war whoop. I had not only found her, she seemed anxious to see me. What more could I have hoped for?

It took all of an hour to get to her place, and my stomach was in knots as I walked up the stairs to the second floor and looked for her number. I must have stood in front of the door for at least a minute, trying to compose myself before I knocked. She had to have been nearby because the door opened almost immediately, and there she was. We both stood still for a moment, taking in the changes in each other, and then all hell broke loose.

Penny virtually jumped into my arms, half squeezing me to death, tears in her eyes and sniffles in her nose. I have to admit, I had a little water in the eye area as well. When I stepped back after she began to let me loose, I looked at her and I was stunned. She was gorgeous! She was a knockout! Before, she had been pretty. Now ... now, she was beautiful. I just shook my head. I didn't need to say anything. She could tell from my look that I was dazzled.

"God, Ron, it's so good to see you. You look so handsome in your uniform and you seem a lot ... bigger than I remember," she said with a look of wonder.

"I can't get over just how beautiful you are, Penny. I guess we've both changed in the last seven years," I said, smiling.

"Has it been that long? I can't believe it! You have to tell me all about it. You said it was an amazing story, and I'm a writer, so I want to hear all about it," she laughed.

"Well, I don't know if I can. The fellow who helped me find you ... Warren Quincy ... I kind of promised him my life story as a reward," I kidded.

"Oh well, as long as he was the one who put us together again, how can I complain?" She had a look of supreme happiness about her. It really gave me a lift.

"Doesn't mean I won't tell you all about it, though," I suggested. "But first, what was it you wanted to talk to me about when you called from Eugene?" I had to satisfy my curiosity. It had been bugging me for years.

"Oh ... I ... I wanted you to know that I had ... broken up with my boyfriend," she said carefully. "I wanted you to know that I was still very fond of you."

I stood stock still. I'm not sure which instinct took over, but I took a half-step toward her, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. I mean, I kissed her ... seriously! If I was in any doubt about what was going on between us, it vanished in a moment. She returned the kiss and, wrapping her arms around my neck, just kept kissing. It was something we would remember for a long time afterward. 

We had been saving up for this moment, never knowing if it would ever come. We had each been longing for the other, but not certain how to complete the circle. We had been standing in the doorway of her room for what seemed an eternity, the door open and our passion on display to any passer-by. Neither of us cared at that moment. Finally we broke, and I pushed the door closed before pulling her into me once more and kissing her more gently, and I hoped, more lovingly.

"Have we been waiting this long and not understanding what we felt for each other?" I asked.

"Yes ... yes we have." The look in her eyes told me everything. We had lost each other and now, we were found, and I got the impression that neither of us was about to let the other escape again. It was the beginning of the best part of my life, and I think I knew that, then and there.

I'm not sure how long it took for us to get to the bedroom, but it really didn't matter. We didn't need to talk about it. Neither of us were virgins, and I don't think we expected the other to be one. But this first time ... this very first time with the girl ... the woman that I had waited so long for ... it was going to be magic. I just knew it. And I was right. 

We made love slowly, and it was a very emotional experience for both of us. It was as if I had been released from some prison and found my lover still waiting for me after seven years. I was not just excited, but relieved that she still felt for me the way I felt for her. It was as if nothing had changed in those years except that we had gotten older and more mature, and that Penny was so incredibly beautiful. I wanted this time with her to last forever.

"Ron ... can you stay? Tonight, I mean?"

"Yes. I have almost a week left on my leave. I can't believe my luck ... finding you. We have time to be together, Penny," I promised.

"Yes ... there's no need to rush. We can get to know each other all over again," she smiled.

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do," I whispered.

She nuzzled into my shoulder and neck and we just lay together for a while. Whatever she had planned for dinner must have been forgotten. If I had been hungry, it was for Penny. The food could wait. 

"It must be exciting, whizzing around on those big white boats," she said a bit later.

"Uh ... well ... probably, but that's not what I do," I smiled.

"Oh ... what do you do?"

"I fly airplanes," I said proudly.

"What? You're a pilot!" she exclaimed.

"Yup. I fly an airplane called an Albatross. It's a flying boat. It can land on water as well as land."

"Wow ... Ron Francis from Aberdeen, Iowa, is a pilot! That's fantastic!" She sounded almost amazed. "How did that happen? I mean, how did you get to be a pilot ... and in the Coast Guard?"

It took a while to tell the story, but over the next hour, I told her about finding Mom and Frank and what hooked me on flying, and my luck at getting a chance in the Coast Guard. I glossed over the danger, and my occasional mistakes, and made it sound as glamorous as I could. After all, I wanted to impress "My Penny." I deliberately said nothing about Liz. 

We had been lying on her bed as my story unfolded, and I could tell she was fascinated. But I was equally interested in her story.

"Dad got a new job in Dubuque, and he and Mom moved just after I started college. I was staying with a friend, Bobbie Jenkins ... you remember her, don't you? She and I were in most of the same classes and I was lucky to have a place to stay. When I graduated, I wanted to find a job on a newspaper, but there was nothing available in Aberdeen or Dubuque. I sent out résumés by the dozen, but nothing happened. Finally, I got a job at State Farm Insurance in the advertising department, and got to write a few magazine blurbs, little stuff like that. At least I was getting paid for writing."

"How did you get to New York?" I was curious. It was a long way from Aberdeen.

"Brian ... the guy I was seeing for a while ... he suggested it. He said I'd have more likelihood of finding something here. He was coming to New York for a job anyway, and it was his way of convincing me to go with him. I thought about it for a while. I didn't really want to be with him ... I mean ... he was a nice guy, but ... he wasn't you," she confessed, looking at me carefully. "Anyway, I decided to go with him just to see if I could get a break. It was probably a mistake, but I was anxious to get an opportunity, so I took a chance."

"What happened to Brian?" I asked.

"He thought I was in love with him. I wasn't. I told him that, and he got really mad. He said I had led him on and was making a fool of him. It was a nasty scene. I grabbed my stuff and got out of there right away. I had a few dollars, so I rented this place, and I've been here ever since." She had told the story with no hint of regret. 

"You've been here for three years, then?"

"Yes, three very tough years. There were times when I didn't have a dime or anything to eat. I just had to stick it out to prove I could do it. I couldn't let my folks know I was struggling this much. They never thought much of my desire to become a writer. I think they thought I would become a "starving artist." I didn't dare tell them that they were almost right," she laughed.

"Are you still struggling?"

"Not so much any more," she said with a hint of pride.

"I have a couple of regular columns, and I've been able to sell a few features and that's been a big help. Also, I have a part-time job writing advertising copy for a small agency. All things combined, I'm doing a lot better," she smiled.

"Wow, that sounds like a tough life. I'm amazed you've stuck with it. A lot less dedicated people would have thrown in the towel by now," I suggested.

"Ron ... you know this is what I wanted to do. I had to try. I had to find out if I could. I still think I can. I just need a break, and I can make a career out of this," she said seriously.

"Good for you, Penny. I'm proud of you. I'm so glad I found you. It's all I've been thinking about for the past years. I wanted so much to learn to fly and I got that chance. I was also intent on finding you, and now ... here we are. I don't think I could ask for anything more. When we made love for the very first time tonight, it was something I had dreamed about. 

"I feel like that too, Ron. I think we were destined to be with each other. I had almost given up hope of ever seeing you again ... and then ... your call this afternoon ... and now us ... here together. It couldn't be any more wonderful than it is right now. I think we both have this destiny to be together. I think it's written down somewhere that we are supposed to be with each other. Don't you think so?"

"Yes ... yes, I do. To be honest, a couple of times I gave up hope that I'd find you, but the way things have worked out ... yes ... we are supposed to be together. Someone or something is making this happen. I sure don't want to fight it or ignore it, do you?"

"Unh Uh! This is what I have wanted for a long time. There were times when I wasn't sure, but now ... after tonight ... I'm sure. I love you, Ron. I have for a long time and now I know ... now I'm sure. I love you."

"Penny ... Penny ... I love you too. You have been the only thing on my mind ... in my dreams ... for all these years. I can't believe you feel the same way. I am so lucky," I whispered.

"So ... what happens now?" she asked cautiously.

"I don't have a clue," I said seriously. "I'm going to have to find out what I can do about us getting married and where we can live and all that stuff."

"Getting married? Are you serious?" She had sat up quickly and had her hand on my shoulder.

"Yah ... well ... isn't that what a man and a woman do when they are in love?" I asked carefully.

She broke into a big smile and leaned down and kissed me. "Yes ... that's exactly what they do."

I had a hunch that I was missing a step and I stopped to think for a minute. Then it dawned on me.

"Penny ... I love you with all my heart. I have for a long, long time. Will you marry me?"

She smiled and I could see tears forming in the corners of her lovely blue eyes. "Yes. Yes, I will. Yes, I will marry you, Ron Francis," she beamed.

"I'm sorry I don't have a ring yet, but then, I guess since we've only been back together for a couple of hours, I can be forgiven?" I asked, hopefully.

"Of course you can. But only for a little while. In the meantime, why don't we make it official," she smiled.

"And how would you suggest we do that?" I kidded.

"Like this, my love." She slid her hand down to my manhood and began a most erotic massage that took only seconds to arouse me to full operating potential. I didn't need to be hit over the head to figure out what should happen next. As I slipped into her, I thought that perhaps this was the best day of my life, so far. What could be better than finding your true love, and then making love to her? Nothing! But then, that's what I thought the day I got my wings.

When I awoke the next morning, I was conscious of the woman in bed with me. Her scent and her soft skin and the now-tousled hair were another aphrodisiac. I was already aroused and my hand reached for her breast as I pulled myself into her back, holding her closely to me. These past few hours had been my private paradise. I had everything I needed for the rest of my life. What could I possibly want more than this? The answer would come sooner than I thought.

The next week went by in a blur. We hunted the city for just the right ring and finally found it. Penny was just as frugal with this purchase as she was with everything in her current life. I was grateful and I told her so. I had saved a fair amount of my pay, but getting married would be a big step and I wanted to make sure we could survive financially. As we talked about these problems, I was happy that Penny always found a reasonable solution. It took a big weight off my shoulders that she was so practical and clear-headed. It was just another reason I was in love with her.

Eventually, my leave was up and I had to return to the base. She knew I wouldn't be far away and that I would have time to see her fairly often, but not being able to be with her, sleep with her, hold her in those beautiful waking hours, was my own personal torture. We had become so dependent upon each other. It felt like I was leaving her for another world. It was a prophetic thought.

When I arrived back on duty, I was summoned, along with two other "Goat" pilots to the C.O.'s office that first morning. It was there that I got a very quick lesson in reality. We were being reassigned ... to Da Nang Airbase in South Vietnam. My guts churned when I heard those words. It seemed like a death sentence. The last place on this planet I wanted to be was Vietnam.

Penny took the news very hard. She cried and I cried and we both held each other for every minute we were together. I think it was the first time in my life that I seriously thought about death. I was going to war. I was going to fly a slow airplane with no armament in a hostile environment. I had to admit, I was scared. I'd heard all the horror stories from other servicemen, and they didn't inspire confidence.

Da Nang was a hotbed of activity. The Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, privately contracted civilian aircraft and god knows what else were all using the base and the air traffic control was constantly on full operations. I was lucky that I had experience with high traffic areas like New York, so it wasn't as big a challenge for me as it might have been. One thing was certain, however, you were concentrating every minute you were in the air. 

Our mission was Combat Rescue and Recovery. It meant flying out over the South China Sea, looking for downed pilots. I thought Miami was bad -- it was a walk in the park compared to Da Nang. I think the thing that got to me first, and lasted for my entire tour, was the lousy morale. None of us really wanted to be there, we just had to suck it up and do our jobs. Oh sure, there were a few guys who were making out like bandits with their own private operations, but for the rest of us, it was our own special hell. 

The only consolation was the few times we were actually able to save some of the pilots before the sharks got to them, they died of exposure, or just drowned. It didn't happen often enough to make me feel good, but the ones we saved ... well, they were grateful as hell. You didn't have to be there very long to figure out this was an un-winnable war. For all our horsepower and strategic weaponry, we couldn't beat a guerilla army that didn't count its losses. 

I wrote to Penny every second day, unless I was tied up on a mission. This time, there was no letting up on our correspondence. Early on, I made a big decision. If I was going to marry "My Penny," I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. I took a chance, and about a month after I arrived in Vietnam, I told Penny about Liz. I didn't try to fool Penny into thinking Liz wasn't someone important. I told her what had happened and how it ended when she went back to Canada, and that it was her phone call that reminded me of just how important she really was. I had been infatuated with Liz, but I was in love with Penny.




Dear Mother - Finding Penny



Her letters came in batches, it seemed. I would carefully make sure they were in order of postmark before I read them. About three weeks after I told Penny about Liz, I noticed there were a few days between letters. That was unusual. The earliest postmark after the gap told the story. She had been quite upset with my revelation about my relationship with Liz. I think she put it in a different category than her dating Brian. She felt that I had fallen in love with Liz, and that only her leaving to return to Canada had prevented me from choosing Liz ahead of her.

I had to examine my feelings pretty thoroughly when I read that. I had taken a risk telling Penny about Liz, and now it looked like it had backfired. My attempt at honesty was interpreted negatively, I thought. I didn't know what to do or say that would smooth it over and put our relationship back on course. I stewed about it for a day, and then sat down and wrote her a letter to try and make things right again.

My Dearest Penny:

When I read your letter after my telling you about Liz, I was very upset. I was upset because you were hurt by what I said about her. I have searched my conscience and I want you to know that I have no doubts about my love for you. Liz was a part of my college life and was very important to me, I admit. We were lovers, and I was very taken with her, but when I knew she was going, there was no thought of going with her. I was young and, I guess, impressionable, but I got over it. I never got over you. 

When I knew you had called, I was excited because you were very important to me, even though we hadn't seen each other for three years. If I had known that you wanted to tell me that you weren't involved with anyone, I would have been the happiest guy in Oregon. I never gave up hope that someday, we would find each other. There were times when I wondered if I would ever see you again, but I never gave up hope. 

It's a cruel fate that brought us together, and then tore us apart so quickly. I live for the day that my time in this place is over and that I can return to you. I am sorry if I have hurt you, but I could not live with myself without you knowing all of the truth about me. I hope you can understand. I love you and I can't bear the thought of not being with you. I hope you will wear that ring to remind you of that every day.

All my love,

Ron 

It was two weeks later that I received the letter from Penny that let me breathe again. She understood, and now felt I had done something very important; I had told her all of the truth. She said she knew that I had taken a risk when I might have said nothing, and perhaps she would never have known about Liz. The more she thought about it, the more she was proud of me for being honest. She said she had never for a moment considered breaking our engagement. She was mine forever, she said. I slept much better than night. 

I spent every waking moment with two thoughts -- survive this tour and get home to Penny. Home was now New York City. I was sending my pay to Penny, and she was looking after it like it was her only project. She and I wrote letters to each other constantly. You'd think we'd run out of things to say, but Penny would report on the latest investment move she'd made, and how much my pay had grown, and what the price of housing was, how we were going to qualify for a mortgage, and all that sort of thing. I guess that's the advantage of being a writer. I did everything I could not to tell her how soul-destroying this war was.

Penny was taking charge while I was in Vietnam and I couldn't have been happier. It helped me concentrate on my duty and focus on getting home in one piece. I had never prepared myself for a war, and I really didn't know how to conduct myself other that to follow my orders, do the best job I could, and try not to get a SAM up my backside. "The Goat" was a clay pigeon if we got too near the enemy, and we all knew it. I'll say one thing for this realization -- it sharpened our concentration.

The weather was also an enemy. The base was situated on the coast and typically, frequent bad weather made air-sea rescue ops nearly impossible. Like Miami, the humidity and salt water were demons on our airframe, and we could see that our days as an amphibious rescue unit were numbered. We were getting restricted on just how and when we could use the full capability of our bird, and it was frustrating to see the deterioration of this fine aircraft. 

I served fifteen gruesome, grueling months at Da Nang and when I left, it wasn't with a sense of accomplishment, but a sense of relief. I had made it through in one piece. The whole posting had been an exercise in futility. Yes, we had found a few pilots and saved a few lives, but I wondered how much more we might have accomplished with a bigger effort. When I got home, I was fortunate not to be one of the targets of the protest crowd. I don't think one person in a thousand even knew the Coast Guard served in Vietnam, on water and in the air, in rescue and in combat. 

When I arrived back in New York, I was delighted to find not just Penny, but Mom and Frank were there to greet me. It was a great feeling to be back on U.S. soil again. Penny had organized the whole thing, and I was even more surprised that her parents were on the way and would be arriving the next day. I hadn't seen them in eight years and I wondered what they would think of the man who was going to marry their daughter. I wasn't concerned, but I was on my best behavior. 

I shouldn't have worried. Mr. and Mrs. Lane arrived and immediately treated me like their son. They were proud to have me in the family, and proud of my service accomplishments. They got along great with Mom and Frank, and that was a relief. I was nervous that there may have been some after-effects from Mom's divorce and disappearance, but apparently Penny had explained everything to them just after I left for college, and it wasn't a problem. 

The only unhappy situation was my inability to have some private time with Penny. I had gone fifteen months without begin able to hold her and make love to her. Now, with both parents around, we couldn't find a way to be alone and renew our love for each other until our folks went back home. I was curious about how Penny's parents could afford the trip and she told me. She had invested my pay in two very good stocks; Polaroid and Texas Instruments. They had done very, very well, and the dividends had paid for her parents' airfare. I was very proud of my lady. She was something special.

When Mom and Frank and the Lanes had said their goodbyes almost a week later, making us promise to set the date soon for our wedding, we finally had time to ourselves. That first night together was as wonderful as I imagined it during all those lonely nights in Da Nang. We made love and held each other and then made love again and then held each other until we fell asleep. I remember waking a couple of times in the night and reaching for Penny just to make sure she was really there. I would pull her closely to me and kiss her shoulder and taste that wonderful taste, smell that wonderful scent. I was home again.

I had six months left of my duty and I knew now that I would not re-enlist. I loved the Coast Guard and I loved flying my "Goat" even more, but I knew both were coming to an end, and I was going to have to find a job on "Civvy Street." The truth was I already had a job offer -- with Frank, flying for North Island Airways. I wanted that job very much, but there was a hitch. Penny had her career here in New York. I couldn't make her give that up. She had sacrificed so much to get a break. I had waited so long to be with her, and I wasn't going to let anything stand in our way. 

Frank had offered the job about one second after I told him my time in the Coast Guard was just about done. He needed another pilot, one who had amphibian qualifications, and he was happy to wait for me. Under any other circumstances, I would have signed right there and then, but I told Frank that I had Penny's career to think of and I had to talk to her about it. I hoped he would understand and he did. He smiled and said something about how long he waited for my mother to come along, he could wait a little longer for the son. 

I was almost afraid to talk to Penny about Frank's offer. It would mean uprooting Penny from New York and her having to start her career all over again. On the other hand, it was what I truly wanted to do. I loved the Pacific Northwest and I thought Penny would too, but I couldn't just ignore how hard she had worked to get a foothold in her chosen profession. It took me quite a while before I had the courage to talk to her about our future.

"Penny, I uhmmm ... wanted you to know something. Something important," I began.

She looked up and smiled. "Yes?"

"I'm not going to re-enlist in the Coast Guard when this tour is up," I said slowly.

"I know. You've already told me that," she said smiling slightly.

"I ... uh ... wanted you to know that I've had a job offer," I said, very hesitantly.

"Really? Tell me about it." 

"I ... uhmmm ... well ... Frank offered me a job at North Island," I stammered.

"Really? And what would you be doing there?" 

"Well, flying. I'm a pilot and Frank needs another pilot with my qualifications."

"Yes, you are a pilot, aren't you." She was teasing me. 

"The thing is ... it's not here ... it's in Washington ... the one in the Northwest, I mean." I was still stammering.

"I know where it is." She was almost ready to burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" I finally asked.

"You ... you are, my love. You are afraid that I won't want to go to Bellingham, aren't you?" she challenged.

"Uh ... well ... your career ... here in New York. It's just getting going. I can't take you away from that," I said with almost no voice as I finished.

"Oh, Ron. You were thinking of me and willing to sacrifice for me?"

"Yes ... yes I was. I waited so long for us to be together. I wasn't going to let if fall apart because of something I wanted," 

She came over and sat in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "My dear Ronald, my typewriter is portable, and so am I. I will go with you anywhere you want to be. I love you and I won't see you give up something so important to you. Writers can write anywhere. Just ask Frank's neighbor, Ernie Gann," she paused, wrapping me in a resounding kiss. "Frank told me about the offer, Ron. If it's something that will make you happy, then I'll be happy."

"Really? I ... I don't know what to say. Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm very, very sure. I love you and I want to be with you and besides, your mom told me how beautiful it is there. She said it was a great place to raise our children."

"She did? Uhmmm ... how many?"

"Oh, I don't know ... maybe two ... or maybe ten," she laughed.

"Uh ... how about two to start with, and we can decide after that." I was beginning to regain my self-control.

"OK ... whatever you say," she grinned.

"You're having a good time with this aren't you? You knew all along I wanted to keep flying. You knew about Frank's offer. You never said a word. You're devious!" I said, stabbing my fingers into her ribs and tickling her aggressively. 

She squirmed and wriggled, trying to get me to stop, all the while laughing. "OK, OK, I confess," she shouted, still laughing.

"I love you, Ron. I always have and I always will. I will go with you anywhere. I will have your babies. I will be there for you every day," she said, suddenly serious.

"Oh God, Penny, I am so lucky. I have everything any man could ever want and more. I am so lucky!" I said, burying my head in the crook of her neck. 

-0-

The wedding took place in Bellingham. Aunt Hilda and, of course, Frank and Mom as well as Penny's parents were in attendance thanks to another dividend that Penny had cashed from our investments. Tink and Chip also made it. Tink was my Best Man, and Chip and Frank were Ushers. All three of us were coming to the end of our enlistment, and only Chip had decided to re-up. Penny and I would go back to New York for my remaining three months, and then move to Bellingham permanently.

The days before the wedding were a bit of a blur. We had decided to find a place to live despite the fact that Mom and Frank had invited us to stay with them for as long as we wanted. We felt that we needed some privacy, but we were grateful for their thoughtfulness, just the same. We could make an offer on a home and close escrow within three months, having a home waiting for us when we returned from New York.

Frank was now the principal owner of North Island and had just bought a Grumman Goose from a Canadian Lumber Company. It was in great shape, and it wouldn't take me long to get qualified in the smaller aircraft. It was like a three-quarter scale Albatross, and sitting in the left seat, going over the controls was like old-home-week for me. 

It was all so familiar, and yet, it was different. This Goose had retractable pontoons and big viewing windows for the nine passengers we would carry. I would no longer be in the Coast Guard, and my flying time would be directed toward passenger safety and smooth operations. Frank had drilled me pretty well on the differences between Military Ops and commercial aviation. I had a lot to learn. But, just the same, it was flying!

The good news was that I wouldn't be on a commuter run. My assignment would be to fly wealthy men and women north to remote fishing camps on the Central and Northern B.C. Coast. I learned that during the summer months, I would be very busy and we would need another pilot to fulfill all our obligations without my going over my flying hour limits. I told Frank about Tink being available.

Frank was very strict when it came to safety. I wasn't surprised and I wasn't unhappy. I knew the risks of putting in too many hours without relief. A couple of times, coming back from long search and rescue operations, I was so tired that I made mistakes, and my co-pilot had to bail me out. I learned soon enough to let the right seat do some of the flying, especially on long hauls. 

Penny and I found a house a few miles northeast of the airport. It was a little farming community called Lynden, and it was only a twenty minute drive to the airport. The three bedroom rancher was plenty big for the two of us, but Penny had a surprise for me when we moved in. She was pregnant! I was one happy guy. Not only that, Penny had a job with The Bellingham Herald, our local newspaper. They were happy to have an experienced writer available for features, and Penny was even happier that she could work from home, and I could drop her copy off at the paper on my way to work.

When I sat back and thought about it all, I couldn't believe what had happened to me in the past nine years. I had discovered my mother's affair, saw her disgraced and thrown out of her own home only to discover that my father had engineered the whole thing. I left my hometown of Aberdeen, and I've never been back. It took me three years to be reunited with my mother, but when I did, the rest of my life unfolded before me. She was married to a great guy, happy in her new life and looking years younger than when I had last seen her. 

Her husband, Frank Trimble, was a pilot and had never been married until he met Mom. He knew a good thing when he saw it. He introduced me to flying, and I've been hooked ever since. Somehow or other, everything seemed to be pointing in one direction. I joined the Coast Guard and got the chance I was praying for when they taught me to fly, and for almost four years I got to spend a lot of hours in the left seat of an Albatross. 

Then, just when I thought things couldn't get any more satisfying, I found Penny. Even better, we both realized what we had known years ago ... we were in love with each other. It only took a couple of hours to confirm it.

And now, here I am. I live in the Pacific Northwest where I really love the country, I'm married to my childhood sweetheart, and we have a child on the way. I'm still flying, thanks to Frank, and that's all I ever want to do for a career. What more could I ask for?

Nothing!



Dear Mother: The Search



This is the sequel to "Dear Mother". I had a lot of readers request a follow up and for a while I was reluctant. I needed a storyline and a dose of motivation. I hope this meets your expectations. It isn't necessary to read the original story to understand what's going on in this one, but it will help you fill in the gaps. My thanks to Jayt444 for his editing assistance on the early part of this story. Obviously, any errors or omissions are entirely my responsibility.

*

Chapter 1: Leaving Home

I drove to Penny's house with my mind going nine hundred miles an hour. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. How could he?

When I got there, I was happy that Penny was in the back yard, by herself, reading a book. She looked at me strangely and she could see that I was in some kind of turmoil.

"What's wrong, Ron?" she asked sincerely.

"Penny, we have another assignment. We have to find my mother." I said in a rush.

"What? Why? I thought you never wanted to see her again." she said with a frown.

"I didn't ... at least ... not until this afternoon." I said with a sad voice. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my mother's letter to me. I had never shown it to anyone, but now everything was different. I handed it to Penny. "Read this." I said quietly.

Penny took the letter from my hand and read it without comment. When she had finished she still had that questioning look on her face. "What's changed, Ron. This is a difficult letter for you to accept, but I don't see how it changes anything."

"I was talking to Jeanine this afternoon and she calmly told me that she had been ... involved with my dad way before mom had anything to do with Mr. Robinson. She didn't seem to realize how important that information was to me and I didn't let on. It means that my dad was cheating on my mom way before she did her thing. It means this letter is true. It means she isn't the only one at fault."

"Oh, Ron. I'm so sorry. Of course, that changes everything. Oh dear, what have we done?" she began to cry. I put my arm around her.

"Penny, it's not your fault. I was the one who decided to send the letters and I was the one who got you involved in the first place." I said, trying to comfort her. We sat together for a few minutes while her tears dried and I had some time to think.  

Penny and I had done something that I guess now we wish we had never done. I had discovered that my mother was having an affair with a Mr. Edwin Robinson, right under my dad's nose. It began when I saw Mom's car in the Robinson driveway one day and after we played junior detective, we figured out that Mom was seeing this guy on the sly. I was pretty close to my Dad and I decided that I had to let him know what was going on, so with Penny's help, we sent him a couple of anonymous typewritten notes giving him the lowdown on her whereabouts. 

Well, my Dad went off the deep end when he found out about it and right away he kicked Mom out and started divorce proceedings. We were shocked at how he reacted, but we thought it was his right to be that upset. After the divorce, Mom just disappeared, but she wrote me a letter about how sorry she was and that she loved me and that Dad wasn't as nice as I thought he was and hadn't been for a long time. I didn't believe her, but I kept the letter anyway. Dad started seeing this younger woman, Jeanine, who was a real good-looker. She finally moved in with us and they got married. It was just about half way through my senior year in High School and I was thinking of what college I would go to, since I was getting scholarship offers for swimming. 

So, this afternoon, when Jeanine told me that she and dad had been fooling around long before mom met Mr. Robinson, I was shocked. Dad had tricked me and I had hurt Mom when maybe she didn't deserve it. I was confused. Part of me was angry with Dad and part of me was upset with Mom. 

"I can't see myself telling my dad what I know." I said finally to Penny. "Unless Jeanine realizes what she said and what it means, I still have to live there for a few months until I go to college. I don't know how my dad would act if he was found out. He threw mom out so quickly that anything could happen. I guess I'll just have to hope Jeanine doesn't figure it out. She's pretty clueless most of the time anyway." I said, thinking out loud.

Penny snorted her laugh at that last comment and then put her arm around me again. "How are we going to find your mom?"

"Well, the letter had a postmark from Salem, Oregon. She has an old friend living there; Aunt Hilda. I'm guessing she's staying there." I answered.

"Do you have her phone number? You could call her and tell what you know." Penny said. She always was a good thinker and I told her I would see if I could find her number when I went home. I just wasn't very anxious to head home right now. I didn't know what to expect when I got there. I shouldn't have worried. When I got home just before dinner time, everything was normal. Dad was puttering around in the kitchen and Jeanine was watching something on TV. I washed up and helped dad with the meal. I kept watching him to see if he was any different, but I couldn't see anything that might tell me if he knew what I knew. 

Dad and Jeanine went to the movies like they always did on Saturday night, so I had lots of time to look for a phone number for Aunt Hilda without raising any suspicions. I searched high and low but couldn't find anything like a phone list or a memo book with that kind of information. I finally gave up after looking for a couple of hours. It was pretty obvious that dad had thrown out anything that belonged to mom. Worse than that, I had no idea what Aunt Hilda's last name was, so I couldn't find her number from information either. 

The rest of the school year passed uneventfully in the household. Either Jeanine never figured out what she had told me or she had forgotten all about it, but either way, I never had any sense from dad that he thought I knew their secret. But, just the same, it was very uncomfortable for me. I thought my dad was a great guy all those years and then I find out he wasn't and it was a real let down. 

I knew I was going to get a scholarship for swimming because I already had some written letters offering them. When I looked at which ones were the best for me, I finally narrowed it down to three; Iowa State, which was only a hundred and fifty miles from where we lived in Aberdeen, Illinois and last but not least, Oregon State. How these people had ever heard about me I'll never know, but there you go. 

In the end, I was torn between Iowa State, because I would still be close to Penny and Oregon State, because the campus wasn't far from where my mom might be. It was a really hard decision, but when Penny got an academic scholarship at the local Junior College, it didn't matter where I went, I wasn't going to be very near to her. We talked about it and Penny thought I should try and find my mom and make it right with her. I think Penny still felt very guilty about what we had done, so I could understand her decision. I was sure she wasn't trying to get rid of me.

The one thing about Oregon State was that it was just about as far away from my dad as I could get. When I accepted their offer of the scholarship, they seemed pretty pleased, but not pleased enough to offer me even a bus ticket to Corvallis. 

I had saved quite a bit of money from my supermarket delivery job and so I had a choice. I could drive the car that Mom used to drive and that Dad had given me or I could sell it and buy a bus ticket to Oregon. I sucked it up and talked to Dad about it and he said he didn't want me driving across the country in "that old wreck" as he called it. Instead, he sold it and gave me the $350 he got for it and wished me luck. I thanked him and started planning my trip to Oregon. The plan was pretty simple; take the Greyhound to Omaha and catch the Union Pacific to Portland and then another bus to Corvallis. By travelling coach on the milk run and buying the tickets in advance, I paid $185 total for the trip. That left me $165 over for food and other stuff I was sure I'd need. I didn't even have to touch my own money. I was ready to go.

Parting with Penny was the hardest thing I had to do. We had been more than friends for years and we had hoped and planned and dreamed about going to college together but that wouldn't happen. No matter which college I had chosen, it would be a long way from home and we'd still be split up. Penny understood. She was great that way. She knew I had to get away from Dad and Jeanine. She knew I had to try and find Mom. That last night together we spent in the back seat of my dad's car. We made out like crazy and even though we didn't go all the way, I was pretty sure how I felt about her. If I was going to marry anyone, it would be Penny or someone just like her. We shed some tears and held each other tightly and promised we would write every week. It felt really lonely when I drove home that night.

I left the next morning after Dad and Jeanine drove me to the Bus Station. I shook Dad's hand and hugged Jeanine; or maybe she hugged me. Anyway, she squished those big tits into me when she hugged me and I thought that was OK. The driver threw my two bags into the luggage bin and I climbed aboard the big unit and we were off. The seats weren't bad and it was one of the new air-conditioned buses that helped with the late August heat. Lucky for me, the train station was next to the bus station in Omaha and I didn't have to wander all over the place looking for the train to Portland. It wasn't a very big train compared to the fancy ones that went to Los Angeles or Seattle, but I guess Portland wasn't that big of a city.

At first the train ride was boring; mile after mile of wheat and corn and flatlands. Before long, though, we were in Wyoming and the Rocky Mountains. They were really something to see. I was pretty revved-up about the trip west and I only slept off and on in the train seats since they were leather and kind of slippery. We went through some really neat places I'd only heard about in Western movies. Places like Cheyenne and Laramie and Snake River. Too bad some of it was at night. I could get up and walk around and that helped a lot. I ate my meals in the dining car, and the food was pretty good. It seemed like a long three days and nights but finally on the morning of the fourth day, I arrived in Portland. I was tired but again the bus station was near the train station, so I didn't have any trouble finding the bus to Corvallis. 

I guess I wasn't that good at planning because I ended up in the bus station at Corvallis at eight thirty on a Sunday night. I had no idea where the campus was and I was sure there wasn't anyone around there on Sunday night. I asked the only attendant where the closest hotel was and he said it was the College Inn, just a couple of blocks down the street. I set off in the pointed direction and while his "couple of blocks" turned out to be a lot more, I finally found it and dragged my two bags behind me into the lobby. As I approached the empty desk, I idly wondered what I would do if there weren't any rooms. 

I caught a break and there were a couple of rooms left and I paid the incredible sum of $18 for one night in a bed. I couldn't believe anybody could charge that much for a bed and bathroom, but I had to sleep somewhere and I was too tired to argue or look for another place. I had hardly spent any money on the bus or the train, so it wasn't like I was broke or anything. When I finally got to my room, I was tired, but as I sat on the edge of the bed, for the first time I felt lonely. No Mom or Dad or Penny or even Jeanine ... no one. There would be time enough in the morning for regrets and to start the next day of my new life.

Chapter Two: Relocated and Stymied

The first week went by in a blur. I registered, found my dorm, moved my stuff in, went off to buy my books for my first year courses, met with the men's swim coach to and finally met my roommate. Zoltan Juhasz was a freshman like me, but he was on the wrestling team. When I first saw him, I though he was pretty small; probably only 5' 4", but the first time I saw him with his shirt off, I realized he had muscles right up to the eyeballs. He had come to the U.S. during the Hungarian Revolution in '56 when his parents made a run for freedom. He was only fifteen when he escaped, but he had seen a lot of death and blood and fear and he acted older than he really was. Apparently, he had seen his uncle killed by army troops in the streets in front of their home. He didn't seem too anxious to talk about those days and I didn't press him. 

Zoltan was a great guy to have as a roommate. He was neat, quiet and not around very much. He took his studies very seriously and I think he must have written a letter to his parents every week. He had a certain way of being around without you really noticing him. We got along great right from the start. I told him a bit about my family and the troubles we had and he told me a bit about his family. His dad was an expert furniture repairer and refinisher and found a really good job in Portland almost right away. That took a lot of pressure off his mother and Zoltan and when he was awarded the scholarship to OSU, he accepted with their blessing. In a matter of three years, he had learned to speak, read and write very good English. He was obviously a very smart guy.

During the second week, we had a general meeting of the swim team to get our training schedule and the meet schedule. Since the men and women went to meets together, we would be traveling together and probably staying in the same hotels or motels. So, naturally, the first thing the men's team was told was to keep our hands off the girl's team. I'm sure the girls were told the same thing about us. Most of us snickered and gave them our assurances we would never think of such a thing and then promptly checked out the girls to see what they looked like. The best opportunity for that was a social they called a "meet and greet" party.

I was still thinking of Penny and I had been writing to her every week; telling her how much I missed her and trying to tell her about OSU and what I had seen of Oregon. I didn't see anyone on the girls swim team that attracted my attention which was probably just as well. It was all I could do to adjust to living in a strange place and adapting to both going to classes where no one took attendance or cared much if you passed or failed. I had no intention of "flunking out". With Zoltan as my role model, I knuckled down to my studies and let the swimming look after itself. I was in pretty good shape, but I wasn't really as good as I could be. My first set of time trials told me how much further I had to go. 

I got through that first semester pretty well. By Christmas, I had figured out what it took to get by and I had upped my training to bring my times into line with the competition. At this point, I was still a "spare" in case someone was sick or injured, but I did travel to the meets and I got to see quite a bit of the western U.S.; most of it by bus. Since both the swimming and diving teams for both men and women travelled on the same bus, it was inevitable that some of the guys would get together with some of the girls. You always knew where to find them; at the back of the bus, necking. I'm sure the coaches new what was going on, but they pretended not to and always sat at the front of the bus. I figured that as long as no one rubbed their noses in it, they wouldn't interfere. 

I had tried a couple of times to write a letter to my Dad. I was upset at what he had done to cause Mom to do what she had done. I wanted him to know how upset I was and I wanted him to know I didn't blame Mom any more; I blamed him and myself. I tried to write that letter, but it just didn't come out right. It took a really weird thing to help me write it. I had just sat down at my desk to try again to write the letter when I heard a big commotion out in the hall and some banging near my door. I opened the door just in time to see Barry Walston stagger away a few feet and puke all over the floor. He was obviously drunk and it wasn't the first time. Unfortunately for me, the house rule was that the closest freshman was always the cleanup man and I was "it".

I groaned and swore at Barry as he half crawled into his room. I didn't feel sorry for him a bit and I was swearing mightily under my breath as I headed for the utility closet and pulled out the mop and pail. I filled it with water and began the unpleasant task of cleanup of someone else's barf. I knew I wasn't going to be in a rush for dinner tonight. It took a bout fifteen minutes to do the job properly and finally I was about to clean the mop and pail when I let my anger get the better of me. I picked up the pail and mop and pushed open Barry's door and plunked the whole ugly mess down in the middle of his room. 

It was in that mood that I returned to my room and began to write the letter to my father. I was in a bad mood and it showed in the letter. On the other hand, I finally had a letter that really said what I wanted to say.

To My Father: I have struggled to write this letter for a few weeks and I can't put it off any longer. I have to tell you how unhappy I am with the way you treated my mother. I know about your affair with Jeanine long before Mom had anything to do with Mr. Robinson. Mom wrote me a letter before I left home and told me that she thought you were seeing another woman, but she couldn't prove it. She also told me that you treated her badly but that you hid that from me. I didn't believe her, but now I do. If you don't already know, I was the one who wrote the notes to you that told you about her and Mr. Robinson. Now I'm sorry I ever did that. I don't think that would ever have happened if you didn't push her into it. I always thought you were a super Dad. You were good to me and you helped me a lot and I am grateful for that. But what you did to Mom has made me ashamed of what I did and also ashamed of you. I'm sorry if this letter hurts you, but I have to tell you how I feel. I will try and find Mom and try and make it up to her. I know she is very hurt by what happened and I probably can't make that go away, but at least I can apologize to her for what I did. I don't suppose we will see each other again for a long time. I hope you and Jeanine are OK and that you have a good life. Your son, Ron

I don't remember ever being quite as lonely as I was that first Christmas. I hadn't had a chance to go to Salem to look for my Mom and I didn't have any contact with my Dad. I was still writing to Penny, but not quite as often. I guess I had written to her a couple of times a month and of course I sent her a Christmas card and wished her a Happy New Year. She was sending me a letter once or twice a month, but I guess with my being gone, she might looking for a guy to keep her company. I couldn't really blame her if she was, but it would still hurt if that happened.

Since Christmas fell on a Wednesday, we had almost two full weeks off from December 24th to January 6. Zoltan headed home to Portland while I stayed at the dorm. I think I was only one of perhaps five or six people still there and it wasn't much fun. On the spur of the moment, I decided to try and find my mother. The last address I had for her was at my "Aunt" Hilda's address in Salem. I had the envelope with the address and Thursday, the day after Christmas, I took the bus to Salem and crossed my fingers that my search would be an easy one.

"Aunt" Hilda wasn't really my Aunt. She was an old friend of my Mother's family and over the years she had become an honorary Aunt. I had only met her once when I was a little kid and I had no idea what she looked like. It was only about fifty miles from the campus to the Capitol, but with three stops along the way, it took over two and a half hours by bus. When I got to Salem, I had no idea what part of town the address on the envelope would be, so once again I asked the attendant at the bus station for directions. This time it was a bit farther out of town and I decided I would take a cab. It was a short ride and only a $3 fare, so I tipped the driver 50 cents and walked up to the front door. There was a name tag under the bell and it read H. Davis. I pushed the button and waited.




Dear Mother: The Search



The woman that answered the door was older than I expected. She had grey hair pulled back into a bun and wore one of those print dresses that most old ladies wear these days. She did have a nice face with a smile and I didn't have much trouble introducing myself. 

"Hello, Aunt ... I mean Mrs. Davis. My name is Ron Francis and my mother is Helen Francis." I said in my most polite voice.

"Well ... this is a surprise. Hello Ronald ... I haven't seen you in ages. Come in ... please, come in." she said brightly.

I walked into the house and immediately felt at home. Perhaps it was the furniture and decorations that were so much like our home or maybe it was the smell, but it felt good whatever it was. Aunt Hilda surprised me by giving me a big hug after she had closed the door and I didn't know what to say or do.

"Sit down Ronald." she said directly. "This is a wonderful surprise. I didn't expect you at all." She wasn't upset about my being there but I'm sure she had a million questions. I thought I'd better tell her why I had come.

"I'm looking for Mom. I got a letter from her and she had this address on the envelope, so I was hoping she would be here." I blurted out.

"Oh, Ronald, I'm so sorry. She was here for a few weeks, but she moved on. She was looking for a job and I think she went to Portland but I'm not sure. I haven't heard from her in months." I didn't have any doubt that she was sorry that I had missed her, but I could tell she wanted to know more. In the meantime, I had let out an audible sigh and slumped back in the sofa. I guess my face told her how disappointed I was.

"Do you think you might hear from her?" I asked. "Didn't she send a Christmas Card?" I was desperate for any clue on where to look next.

"Ronald, your mother was very upset and unhappy when she was here. Something very bad had happened to her and she wouldn't talk about it. Can you tell me what happened?" she asked searchingly.

I gave her a short version of what had happened from my discovering her affair with Mr. Robinson to my Dad throwing her out and divorcing her and then my discovery of the dirty trick my Dad had played on her. I told her I wanted to find her and apologize and try and make it up to her. I didn't want her to think I didn't love her.

Aunt Hilda was in tears when I finished the story and she came and sat beside me on the sofa and hugged me to her side. 

"Oh Ronald, that is so sad. I'm so sorry for you. If there's anything I can do to help, you can count on me." she said sincerely.

We sat on the sofa for quite a while and talked. I told her about my scholarship to Oregon State and how I was doing and I even told her about my girlfriend Penny. I guess she got the idea I was pretty lonely because she insisted I stay for dinner and overnight before I headed back to Corvallis. I wasn't going to argue. She was a nice lady and I was happy to have someone to talk to, even for a day.

The dinner was great and the first home-cooked meal I'd had in months. The smells in the kitchen were wonderful and I caught myself wishing I was home and with my Mom and Dad together. I had to snap myself out of it. I knew that was never going to happen. 

Aunt Hilda told me that Mom had gone back to her maiden name, Markham. That was a help. At least I'd know what name to look for. She hadn't been gone long enough to have her name listed in the phone book, but we talked about other places I could look for information. Salem was the state capitol and maybe their information department would have some ideas where I could look. If she had a phone or was registered to vote, that information was held somewhere in a record. She also suggested putting an ad in the paper telling her that I was looking for her and to contact Aunt Hilda for more information. Calling the dorm was no good. Aunt Hilda was someone Mom trusted and that was the best place for her to contact me.

On Friday, I went to the Capitol building and headed for the information counter. I got nowhere! If they knew anything or had any suggestions, I wasn't going to hear them. They must have thought it was some college prank and just ignored me. On top of that, most of the main people in the Capitol were gone for the holidays and I couldn't stay until after New Years until they came back to work on the hope that one of them would take me seriously. I was stuck and I wondered what to do next. We had a road trip to Portland State in early February, so maybe I would have a chance to look for her then. I phoned Aunt Hilda and thanked her for her hospitality and her promise that if she heard anything from or about my mother, she would let me know right away.

Chapter Three: The Party

When I got back to the campus on Friday night I discovered someone had organized an "Orphans Party". I had no idea what it was about, but any party at this point was OK with me. Apparently I wasn't the only person on my own over Christmas and New Years and the idea was to get anyone who wanted to have some fun and company to come to the Mt. Hood dorm and join in on the party. BYOB was the only part I didn't understand, but when I got there, the party was in full swing. There must have been thirty or forty of us; boys and girls, frosh, sophs, juniors and seniors alike. It didn't matter; we were all orphans that night. 

I found out BYOB meant Bring Your Own Bottle. I didn't drink booze and I was too young anyway, so I brought a six pack of cokes just to have something to bring. Most of the people brought food they had made or been given over Christmas and when I saw that I beetled back to my room. Aunt Hilda had given me all kinds of goodies like cookies, tarts and candy to take back with me and while I left a few things behind for myself, I was happy I had something I could share. 

It was the best party I think I'd ever been to. I met all kinds of people including some cute girls and we had plenty to eat and drink. Someone shared some dark rum with me and I had my first rum and coke ever. Then I had my second. I might have even had a third, but I couldn't remember. I just remember laughing a lot and kissing some girls and laughing some more. I wasn't lonely any more and I had made some new friends; even if it was only for that night. 

I don't know when the party broke up but I must have been really late. I do remember waking up on Saturday morning with a really bad headache. I searched around our tiny bathroom, but I couldn't find any aspirin. I wandered down the hall until I found someone else and bummed a couple of aspirin from them. I don't think I even knew who he was. I do remember the night before agreeing that we would do it all again on New Years Eve. I made myself a promise to do two things differently; stay sober and buy some aspirins. On the other hand, I also made myself a promise I was going to have just as much fun as I did Friday night. 

Chapter Four: A New Lady in Town 

When the first year ended, I had passed all my classes and was ready to move on as a sophomore. I also figured that since almost a quarter of the team had been seniors, I would finally become a regular on the team. My swim coach along with some alumni had organized a job search and I was lucky enough to get a summer job in Albany, only five miles from Corvallis. It was boring and I didn't earn very much, but it kept me in snacks and movie money as well as my next set of books for September. I had been keeping in touch with Aunt Hilda every so often, but she hadn't heard anything from Mom. I decided to get a jump start on the new school year and enrolled in a couple of courses that were offered over the summer. It turned out to be a smart move. By the end of the summer, I already had six credits and it took the load off my studies.

That turned out to be a bit of good luck that I didn't appreciate until September rolled around and the two swim teams got together for the traditional "meet and greet" social. When I first saw Elizabeth Johnstone, I thought I had seen my first movie star. She was beautiful. She was tall and had beautiful broad shoulders and lovely hips and when she walked in those tight skirts she liked to wear, there wasn't a wrinkle anywhere possible on that lovely bum. She had a nice chest too and sleek, dark brown hair pulled back into what I had heard girls call a French Roll. Whatever it was, though, only emphasized the one feature that was her most stunning; her eyes. They were brown and almond shaped; almost oriental. She had thin eyebrows and she must have used makeup to have those eyes look so amazing. 

She was a frosh and since I was now a soph, I made a beeline for her as soon as I could. I figured I'd have to stand in line to even get to introduce myself, but that wasn't the case. I think it was because she gave off some signals about being a bit cool. I of course, being the insensitive nerd that I was, failed to notice these signals and marched right up to her.

"Hi, my name is Ron Francis. I'm on the swim team too." I said, realizing immediately that I was stating the obvious.

She looked at me with those eyes but I couldn't tell what the message was just yet.

"I'm Elizabeth Johnstone." she said without a hint of a smile.

"I'm from Aberdeen, Iowa." I volunteered. "How about you?"

"West Vancouver ... it's in B.C. ... Canada." again with the deadpan face. 

"I'd be happy to show you around the campus ... help you get settled ... if you'd like." I was struggling to get this conversation going and not doing very well.

She looked at me with that inscrutable face for a moment and then, out of nowhere, she smiled and I was a dead man. "That would be nice, "she said lightly. "I'm kind of nervous. I've never been away from home ... on my own I mean ... except for Girl Guide Camp, but that doesn't count." Once she got started, she just let it all out. I guess I must have been smiling as well because she was looking at me and she was still smiling.

"It can be pretty lonely here if you don't have friends." I started. "I was lucky. I got a great roommate in my first year and we've asked to share a room again this year. He's a foreigner too ... he's from Hungary." I blurted out.

I thought I had said something really cool. She turned and looked at me with a scowl on her lovely face. "Is that how you think of me ... a foreigner?" she demanded.

"Uh ... No! No! ... I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I gasped. Jesus, talk about stupid. I get this beautiful girl to let me show her around and I immediately step in the dog dung.

She looked at me closely for a moment or two and then, once again the smile was back on her face. "So, do I talk funny or something?" she asked.

"No! No! ... of course not." I was near panic now. I willed myself to calm down and to shut up before I said something else stupid. 

As I sneaked a look at her face while we stood beside each other, I could see a sly smile on her face. I let my breath out and leaned back against the wall. It was the signal for her to snort a big guffaw and then put her hand over her mouth and look at me. There was laughter in her eyes and I immediately knew this was the girl for me. Penny who?

"So tell me everything you know about Canadians, Ron." she challenged with a smirk.

"Uh, nothing ... I mean nothing special. I know we speak the same language and we both live in a democracy and we both drive cars made in America ... you know ... that kind of stuff."

"So, do you think we live in igloos and eat raw fish all the time?" she deadpanned. 

"No! No! At least, I don't think so. I never saw any Eskimos that looked as pretty as you." I said, trying to salvage at least a bit of my vanishing confidence. 

"I bet I know more about your country than you know about mine." she challenged without a hint of arrogance.

"Uh ... I don't think I'll take that bet. You sound pretty smart to me. I'm pretty dumb when it comes to knowing about other countries. Besides, I'd never been outside of Iowa until I got this scholarship. At least with the road trips I get to see a bit more of the country." I had the feeling I was getting back on even terms with her again and I would be smart to shut up and let her tell me about herself.

"Well, my parents go to Palm Springs in the winter for a vacation and we've been to Hawaii too. I want to go to Europe some day. I want to travel when I get the chance. You know ... see the Pyramids and Victoria Falls and London Bridge and places like that."

Her parents were obviously well off if she could go to Hawaii and Palm Springs. My "poor boy" status wasn't likely to impress her. I had a sinking feeling that she wouldn't want to waste a lot of time on someone like me if I couldn't show her a good time. I think she must have detected my change in mood. 

"Do you get to see your parents much, Ron?" she asked. 

"No ... no I don't." I answered without elaboration.

"Oh ... that's too bad. Is it because they're so far away?" she asked.

"No ... no ... it's a long story." I said quietly. I didn't want to ruin a nice afternoon with my tale of woe. This girl wasn't likely to be attracted to me anyway, so why rush the inevitable. 

"Oh ... sorry ... I didn't mean to be nosy." she said sincerely.

"That's OK." I said, hoping that would end it.

"Do you have a girl friend here or at home?" she asked.

"No ... I mean ... I did at home but she's going to college there and we haven't been in touch much lately. I think it's hard for her to hope I'll be home some day and we can pick up where we left off. I wrote her and told her to start seeing other guys and not worry about me. She didn't write me back, so I don't think ... well ... I don't know what to think." I finished.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ron. That's hard. You must be lonely with no family and no girlfriend. Maybe we can be friends." She said it so calmly and so sincerely I almost couldn't believe I'd heard it. I turned and looked at her with I'm sure what must have been a stunned look on my face.

"You mean that?" I asked.

"Of course. I saw you when you first came into the room and I thought you had a nice look about you. I was really glad when you came over and introduced yourself to me. I was scared at first. I didn't know what to say ... but ... you made it easy. You were nervous too. I felt better then." I couldn't quite follow the logic, but I knew she was telling me she liked being with me and that was enough. I must have had a goofy grin on my face because I thought she was going to laugh again. 

"Why are you so surprised? You're a good looking guy. Any girl would be happy to be with you once they got to know you." she said simply.

"I'm ... surprised I guess ... and ... flattered. I never thought of myself as anything special; just another hick from Iowa at the big college campus." I stammered.

"Maybe that's what I like about you. No superior attitude and no jock stuff. You act just like you!" she said pointedly. "Some girls like that stuff you know." she said with a smile.

"Some girls?" I said with a big grin on my face. "Lucky for me, you're one of those girls." 

We spent the rest of the day together and ate dinner together in the Dining Hall that evening. It was the beginning of the best days of my College life. She asked me to call her Liz because only her close friends were allowed to call her that. I had graduated to close friend in one day and that was very good for my ego. 

Liz boosted my confidence in myself and it began to show in other things. I discovered that she had an ambition to qualify for the Canadian National Swim Team and she was very serious about her training. As we spent more time together, she and I put in the extra effort to help both of us improve and improve we did. My times dropped noticeably and the coach was now putting me at anchor on a couple of the relay teams during practices. Liz always was fast in the sprints and according to the information she had, she would probably qualify for her national team. The trials were in her home town Vancouver, at the University Pool in July. It was perfect for her because she could train during the summer and not miss any school. I already knew I would miss her over the summer, but she would be back for her sophomore year and my junior year and we would be together again.

Liz struggled a bit during the first semester getting used to college life. She was a bright girl and a good student, but with the demands of the swim team and adapting to being on her own, she was feeling the pressure. Luckily, with six credits already in my pocket, I could afford to help her and we often met in the library and studied together. I coached her whenever I could and was a cheerleader for her as she began to improve her grades. She never failed to tell me how much she appreciated my being there. We had become very close and we were truly boyfriend and girlfriend. We had pretty much done everything except gone all the way and I wondered when that would happen.

In October, I received a letter from Penny. I was almost afraid to open it. I wondered what I would do if she said she still wanted me to be her boyfriend. I was pretty sure I was falling in love with Liz but I felt an obligation to Penny. This could be a big problem, I thought. Finally, I opened the envelope and began to read the letter. 

Dear Ron: I have been trying to write this letter for a long time. Now I know how your mother must have felt when she wrote her letter to you. I have missed you very much in the past year and when I got your letter telling me to look for someone else, I was very upset. It was as if you were telling me you didn't want me any more. It hurt and yet I understood what you were telling me. The truth is, I don't think I can last another three years by myself. I didn't realize how important it was to have a close friend like you and I guess I still need someone like that. I need someone that I could share my secrets with and hold onto. A girlfriend just isn't the same. I am dating another boy at college. We started going out together this summer when I met him at my summer job. His name is Jim Blake and he is in a lot of the same classes that I go to. He is very nice and polite. A lot like you I guess, but he isn't an athlete. He wants to be a writer for a newspaper or magazine and so we have a lot in common. I'm sorry if this upsets you. I don't want to hurt you, but I have been lonely and you did suggest I look for someone. I hope you won't be angry with me. I hope you are doing well in Oregon and I wish you all the best. You were very important to me and I am glad you were my friend. I won't forget you.

Your good friend, Penny

I must have read the letter five or six times. I didn't know how I felt about it. I was upset and felt badly that she had been dating another guy, but after all, I did tell her to go ahead. How could I be upset? Besides, I had Liz and she was everything any guy could ever want. So why did I feel so crummy? I guess I'll never understand how emotions work. Even though I got top honors in Psychology last year, I still didn't understand much about behavior. I had a lot of growing up to do and I guess the good news was that at least I knew that.

I got over the letter fairly quickly and promised myself that I would write a nice letter to Penny telling her I understood and wishing her the best. It took me a while to get around to writing that letter, but I did and strangely, I felt a lot better after I put it in the mailbox on The Common. That part of my life was over and now I was living a different life with different people. I was thanking my lucky stars for Liz. She was the glue that was keeping me together. 

Liz went home for Christmas and New Years and once again I was on my own for the ten days or so that we were off. There were a couple of "Orphan Parties" and while I attended them, without Liz I just didn't have as much fun as I did that first year. I phoned Aunt Hilda, and she invited me to her place for a couple of days between the two holidays. It made a nice change and once again I was reminded how good it was to be in a comfortable home with lovely cooking smells. Aunt Hilda said that next year I should plan on being with her for all the holidays and we would make it a proper Christmas. I thanked her and said I would look forward to that. She was a really nice lady and I was very happy to have her as my honorary Aunt. 




Dear Mother: The Search



Chapter Five: Happy Days

Liz should have qualified that summer for her national team but she just missed it. The selection committee decided on the proven team members and she was left off. She didn't get that trip to Rome she had dreamed of and I could see that it hurt her. We were getting closer and closer to each other and I wondered when we would finally make love for that very first time. It was very frustrating to be necking and having our hands all over each other and yet not go all the way. We talked about it a lot and she said she knew that some of the girls on the team had done it. As far as the guys went, most of them claimed they had "nailed" some girl, but I had my doubts about some of the boasts. Besides, it was too important to me that Liz be confident and really want to do it without my pushing her into something we would both regret. All the same, I had a supply of Sheiks just in case. 

Zoltan was my roommate again for our third year and we had become very good friends. We didn't have a lot in common except that we respected each other and we liked and trusted each other. I think Zoltan was a bit envious of my closeness to Liz. He had a girlfriend as well, but she was not quite the beauty that my girl was but she was very nice. I guess Zoltan had brought his European attitudes towards women with him and I'm not sure they went over so well with the American girls. He was no virgin and I know he had "relations" with a couple of women in town who weren't students. His girlfriend, Darleen, was nice enough but she wasn't very mature and Liz and I found we didn't have much in common with them when we occasionally double-dated. I was guessing that Darleen wasn't a virgin either, but I didn't know that for sure. 

As anyone who lives in a dorm would tell you, trying to get some privacy with a lady in your room required planning and cooperation. I was always happy to oblige Zoltan because he didn't impose on my good nature very often. We figured out a system for ourselves that shared the time equally and if something unexpected came up, we almost always found a way to make it work. Liz and I would go to the movies and come back to my room and make out for an hour or so without fear of interruption. Zoltan and Darleen would go out somewhere and I would meet Liz in the library or in the Common Room until the agreed time. 

Liz's roommate was a real pain. She was one of those straight-arrows who wouldn't dream of doing anything naughty. Needless to say, she didn't have a boyfriend. She was on the women's basketball team and that was because she was about eleven feet tall and ugly. I was almost afraid to see a picture of her parents. I told Liz they shouldn't have been allowed to breed. After she stopped choking and sputtering and trying to snort Pepsi through her nose, she nodded her head in agreement. About the only time we were able to use her room was when the basketball team was on a road trip. 

Like I said, these were the best days of my young life. I had this beautiful girlfriend and I was doing well both on the swim team and in my courses and if I wasn't rich and didn't have a car, I was still doing pretty good. We got to travel together to the meets and we became regulars in the back of the bus. Many a dark night on the road coming back to Corvallis we slept in each other's arms and it was just like being married in some ways. I started to think about my future after college and I wondered if I was ready to ask Liz to be my wife and be with me forever. There was only one problem; I had absolutely no idea of what I was going to do to earn a living after I graduated. Considering that I only had a year to go after this one, I had better start thinking about it.

I spent that third Christmas with Aunt Hilda as promised and we had a really great time. She told me that she had placed an ad in the Portland newspapers looking for my Mom, but got no response. I thanked her very much for trying and wondered what else we could do to find her. In the end, the best we could hope for was that Mom would somehow get in touch with Aunt Hilda and we could find her from that. 

I bought a couple of small things as Christmas presents for her and she gave me a nice sweater and jacket that I really liked. I had been dipping into my small cash reserves for clothes and any addition to that was gratefully received. I only had one more summer to earn some money and I knew I was going to need more for my senior year. Besides, I now had Liz to think of and I couldn't let her down. I had given her a nice locket and chain for a Christmas present before she left for home and she was very pleased and I got a big kiss as a reward. I would have to hold onto that as a memory while she was away over the holidays.

Aunt Hilda and I took her car and travelled around the area. We drove all the way to Cottage Grove and then back to Eugene. We stayed overnight in a motel which Aunt Hilda paid for and had a great time visiting the usual tourist spots. She insisted on paying for the meals too since she knew I didn't have much money. I promised her that I would find a way to thank her for her generosity but she just waved me off, saying she hadn't had this much fun at Christmas in a long time. We even went to one of her neighbors New Years party and despite the fact that I was the youngest person there, I still had a good time. I guess it was just a case of being around people and feeling some of those familiar things about what it was like at home a long time ago.

Chapter Six: Another Lost Love

By May, 1962, I had nearly finished my third year with really good marks and a solid place on the swim team. I was never going to be an Olympic athlete, but I was plenty good enough for the usual competition we faced and I was now regular anchor on the relays. I had found a new job that would pay better during the summer and it would mean I finally had a few dollars stashed away for a change. I should have been happier than hell, but that wasn't the case. My girl, Liz, told me she wasn't coming back to school next year. She was now a full time member of her national team and they wanted her to train nearer to home. She was going to the Commonwealth Games in Australia next November and I knew when she told me that I'd never see her again. 

It was like losing Penny all over again except this was worse. On my 21st Birthday, Liz gave me a very special present; her virginity. It was a complete surprise and I was overwhelmed by her gift. I must have asked her fifty times if she was sure and each time she said she was. From that moment until she gave me the bad news about moving back to Canada, I was in heaven. I had become a man in my mind and although our first couple of times wasn't very satisfying, we got better with practice; much better. I felt like my whole life had changed and I needed to think about the future more. I began to daydream about Liz and I getting married and having kids and finding a good job and looking for a place to live. I was in a state of perpetual optimism until the day Liz gave me the bad news.

She had shed some tears, but I knew the National Team was a dream she had held for a long time and that she would be going to the Olympics in Tokyo two years later. There wasn't any place in that dream for me. I tried to handle it like a man or at least a mature adult, but I was hurt and angry and all the other emotions. Our last week together wasn't the best. She was leaving school early for some National Team meet and I would be on my own even before my junior year was over. I told her I loved her but she couldn't say those words to me and in the end, I had to face it; we were just close friends who had become lovers. The two years that she was with me were the best of my school days and nothing would replace them. 

Chapter Seven: Finding Mother

We had an end-of-school meet at a little college in Washington just before we broke up for the summer. It was in Bellingham at Western Washington University. Bellingham was just south of the Canadian border and if it hadn't been for Liz having to leave early, I was hoping I could meet her parents and tell them how I felt about their daughter. All that turned to dust when Liz left. On the other hand, something even more unexpected happened. I found my mother.

We were staying at the Mt. Baker Hotel in the middle of town. Since I was one of the co-captains, I got first choice of room and I got one on the top floor that looked out over the bay towards some islands. It was fairly clear and I could see mountains in the west with lots of snow on them even though it was almost June. Bellingham was right beside Mt. Baker, a 10,000 ft. extinct volcano. It looked a lot like Mt. Rainier, Mt. Hood and Mt. Shasta; all of them in a row running down into California. It was a beautiful setting and I could see myself living in a nice town like this with the ocean right there and the mountains and the forests. 

Our room had a phone and I jumped a bit when it rang unexpectedly the Friday afternoon before our meet. My roommate answered it and then passed the receiver to me.

"It's for you." he said with a surprised look.

I took it tentatively and finally spoke: "Hello?"

"Is this Ron Francis?" a man's voice asked.

"Yes."

"Are you originally from Aberdeen, Iowa?" he asked in a firm voice.

"Yes." I answered in a cautious voice. Who knew I was here? It must be someone from my hometown I reasoned.

"My name is Frank Trimble." he said, still with a confident tone. "You don't know me, but I'm calling on behalf of your mother."

"You are? Where is she? I've been looking all over for her. Is she OK? Can I see her?" I blurted out.

"Hold on Ron." I could hear a chuckle in his voice. "She wasn't sure you would want to talk to her. I had to convince her to let me call you and see how you felt about ... well ... about what had happened." 

"She doesn't know ... I found out what really happened. I have to see her. Can you take me to her?" I was becoming unglued and almost desperate to have him tell me where she was.

"Ron ... your mother and I ... we're married. I know she will want to see you and talk to you if you want that too. She was just afraid you would still not want to see her." he said apologetically. 

"No! No! ... I do want to see her. I have to tell her. I have to tell her what happened." I was getting excited. "Can you bring her here? I don't have a car." I tried to explain.

"Son ... why don't I pick you up and bring you out to our home? You can meet her here where it's private and you won't be disturbed." he offered gently.

"Sure ... Sure ... that's great! When can you come?" I asked quickly.

"Well, how about now? I can be there in a few minutes and pick you up at the front door. You can stay for dinner if you like. I'm sure you and your mom have a lot of catching up to do." he said kindly. 

"That's great. I have to tell my coach, but I'm sure he'll understand. I'll see you out front in a few minutes then?" I asked in confirmation.

"Yep ... see you in a few minutes."

I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door. I was pretty sure my roommate had picked up the thread of the conversation and since he knew I had been looking for mom, he had a big grin on his face as I hung up the phone and gave me the silent 'thumbs up' sign. I raced down two floors to the coach's room and banged on the door. One of the assistants answered and I spewed out what must have been an almost incomprehensible blast of words that caused nothing but a mystified look on his face. Fortunately, the coach heard most of it and came to the door. He had just gotten out of the shower wearing a towel around his waist. He smiled and said he knew how important this was to me and wished me good luck. I told him I'd be ready for the meet tomorrow and quickly beat it to the stairs and down to the lobby.

I didn't know what Mr. Trimble looked like but I was wearing my OSU Letter Jacket and I figured that would help him spot me as I stood on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. I wasn't there very long before a big gold Studebaker Hawk rolled up and the driver honked the horn and waved at me. I walked over to the nice new car and crouched down to look in the window opening. 

"Are you Mr. Trimble?" I asked.

"Yep ... I'm Frank Trimble. Hop in and we'll head to the house." 

He was wearing a black leather jacket that looked a bit like a bomber jacket and it had an insignia on the front that I couldn't quite see. He had brown hair with some grey at the temples and he was otherwise fairly good looking guy who I guessed was mid-forty-ish. He had a bit of an accent but I couldn't quite place it. Mom had done all right for herself, I thought. He looked professional and if the car was any indication, was OK financially. 

"How did you know I was here?" was the first question I asked him. It had been bugging me since I had put down the phone. 

"Your picture was in the paper." he explained. "Your mother thought she recognized you and when she saw the name underneath, she was pretty sure it was you." 

"How did my picture get in the paper?" I asked. I couldn't figure that out.

"I guess this swim meet is a big deal locally, so they printed a few stories about it and during the week, they printed some of the team pictures. You'll have to ask your mom how she came to be reading the sports pages." he laughed. "Anyway, your team picture was printed yesterday. Your mom's been stewing about it for a day now and I'm glad I finally got her to tell me what was bothering her."

I was watching him as he explained the events that led up to the phone call.

"She was afraid to call you. She was sure you were still mad at her and wouldn't talk to her. She had never really told me the whole story about her marriage to your dad, but last night, she finally let it all go." Frank looked at me and smiled. "I'm really glad she did. I gather that you're not mad at her and that you have some important things about those days that she needs to know." Frank was obviously a smart guy. "I'm really glad you're here. I think it's really going to help her a lot." 

"Yah ... I had almost given up looking for her. My Aunt Hilda hadn't heard from her and we put an ad in the Portland paper looking for her but we never heard a word. I didn't think I was ever going to see her again. Talk about luck ... huh?" I smiled.

"Yes indeed ... lucky for you and lucky for me." he said looking at me with that slow grin that seemed to be his natural face.

"Ron ... there's something you need to know and be very sure of." he said in a very serious voice. "I love your mother very much and I will never ... I repeat never ... treat her the way your father did. You can absolutely count on that." He had said it with such emphasis that I couldn't help but believe him. Besides, I really wanted it to be true. She deserved some happiness after what she had gone through. I guess I must have smiled my acknowledgement of his declaration because he put his hand on my arm and squeezed it and I knew what he was saying was true. 

I hadn't been paying much attention to where we were going, but we were moving up into the hills over the south side of the bay as far as I could tell. With all the trees and the nice houses, I got the impression that this was the more ritzy part of town. I was lost in my thoughts, wondering what the first thing I would say to my mother would be after all these years and I couldn't get a grip on anything. I finally decided I'd just wing it. 

We'd been driving for about ten minutes when Frank turned into the steep driveway of a big, modern home with huge windows all across the front of it and a big deck running the full width of the house. The house was set into the side of a steep hill and the back seemed to be all evergreen trees. I'd seen houses like this in magazines, but I'd never been in one. Frank pushed a button on a post in the driveway and the huge wooden garage door started to open. Inside, I could see what looked to be a new Valiant and the empty space for Frank's car. Everything about the place was neat and orderly and I wondered to myself what Frank did for a living. I was sure I would find out as the day passed.

We got out of the car and walked through a door in the back of the garage and up a few stairs into the laundry room. It was bigger than my dorm room in Corvallis. Next to that was the kitchen; a big "L" shaped space with all stainless steel appliances. The room was paneled in some light colored wood and it had big windows in the back, over the range top and in a little nook that looked out over the bay. I noticed how quiet it was and I was about to ask Frank where mom was when we walked into the dining-living room and there she was, standing in the middle of the room, waiting for us, her hands folded in front of her. I stopped when I saw her and blinked. She had changed and I was astonished at how much she had changed. 

Chapter Eight: Reunited

I always thought my mom had been pretty good looking, but in a mom sort of way. Seeing her now, I was unprepared for how nice she looked. Her hair was shorter and styled; her dress was very smart and somewhat sexy; if you can say that about your mom. She looked younger somehow, even though it had been five years since I had last seen her. Her face looked a bit tanned as did her bare arms and I wondered if she had been down south or somewhere during the winter. I guess I just stood there for a moment not saying anything. Finally, I came to.

"Hi Mom." I said softly as I started to walk toward her. "Good to see you." It was pretty lame but it was all I could think of. Besides, I just wanted to hug her and hold her and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I reached for her. 

"Oh Ronald, I'm so happy you're here. I have been hoping for this day for so long." She was in tears too and we held each other closely and just stood there for a while. Somewhere along the way we lost Frank, but that wasn't a surprise. We had a lot of catching up to do. We walked over to a big, long sofa and sat down together. We were still holding each other and sniffling and trying to get ourselves together. Finally, Mom pulled back and looked at me.

"You've changed so much. You're a man now and it shows." she said proudly. "You're a star on the swim team, I see."

"Well, not exactly a star, but I am a co-captain. Anyway, I'm just glad you saw my picture in the paper. I've been looking for you for a long time. I'd almost given up hope." I was feeling calmer and I was anxious to tell Mom all the things that I had learned.

"Mom, I learned some important things that changed everything about what I thought. I hurt you and I don't know to make it up to you. I thought I was being so smart and I was really being so stupid. I was the one who let Dad know about your ... thing ... with Mr. Robinson." I knew I had to confess and I hoped she would understand that I did it without knowing all the truth. 

"I kind of guessed that Ronald. How did you find out?" she asked.

I began by telling her the story of my discovering her car at the Robinson house and spying on them. I told her Penny and I typed a letter to Dad that just about told him what to look for. What we didn't think about was how he would flip his wig and throw Mom out and get a divorce. I told her Penny and I felt bad about that but we thought we had all the information. I told her about him bringing his girlfriend Jeanine into our home and then marrying her when the divorce went through. Finally, I told her what Jeanine had said about having an affair with Dad way before he knew about Mom's thing. 

Mom sat through all this without much expression on her face. It was as if she already knew it and all I was doing was confirming everything to her. Finally she turned her head away and then looked down at her hands.




Dear Mother: The Search



"I guess I knew it all along but couldn't prove it. I knew he couldn't be like that to me because of something I did. I thought he was trying to get me to go ... to run away so he could divorce me. I finally gave him the excuse he needed. You just speeded up the process for him. Funny the way things turn out, isn't it. I'm the lucky one. I just didn't know it at the time. Look around you, Ronald. Does this look like I'm struggling to get my life back? The only thing I've been missing is you." she said with a big smile.

"Even after I told you that I was the one that told Dad?" I asked.

"Of course, my dear. You couldn't know. Your father is a nasty man when he wants to be. I'll bet you haven't heard a word from him since you've been gone. Am I'm right?"

"Yah ... yah ... that's right. But then ... I wrote him a letter telling him what a rotten thing he'd done." I said with a hint of anger.

"You told him you knew about him and his girl?" she asked.

"Yes, I did. I figured Little Mrs. Dimwit would tell him soon enough. She had no clue that what she told me was important. No clue at all." I stated with an amazed look.

"Sounds like they're made for each other." Mom laughed. It was the first time I'd seen her laugh in a long, long time. It was a wonderful sight. I laughed with her. 

We started to talk about all the things that had happened since she had left. I told her about Penny and me and accepting the Oregon State scholarship and then I told her about Aunt Hilda. Mom jumped up when I mentioned her and she gasped. 

"I lost her phone number and address. I feel so terrible I haven't kept in touch with her." she exclaimed.

"It's OK. I have all that and I've been keeping in touch. She told me you were in rough shape when you stayed with her. She's not upset, but she'll be really happy to hear from you." I said confidently.

A look of relief passed over Mom's face and I smiled as she relaxed again.

"Mom, tell me what happened to you. After you left, did you come out to Aunt Hilda's right away?" I asked.

"Yes. It was the only place I could think of. I had enough money for train fare and it was as far away from Aberdeen as I could get." she explained. "After I was there for a while, I knew I had to find a job, but there wasn't anything in Salem so I headed for Portland and then Seattle. I finally ended up here when I answered an ad for an assistant at the Bellingham Airport Administration. That's were I finally found a decent job and that's where I met Frank."

"How did you meet Frank?" I asked. "He's an interesting looking guy and obviously successful." I offered.

"He's a darling. I am so lucky. What's amazing about him is that no one snagged him before I did." he said with a look of triumph.

"What? Do you mean he was never married?" I asked incredulously.

"Nope! I was number one." she grinned. "He's a pilot and I first met him when he was filing his flight plans each day." 

"He flies planes?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes. He's the chief pilot for North Island Airways. They fly over to the various islands you can see out here. They also fly to Victoria on Vancouver Island and down to Seattle plus some private charters. The good part is, he's home every night most of the time." She talked about Frank like he was just another guy who went to work every day, but I could tell she was really proud of him.

"Wow! A pilot! That's really cool." I said sincerely. "How did you two get together?" I asked.

"Well, we saw each other almost every day and we seemed to hit it off and one day, he asked me out on a date and I was so surprised, I said yes. I hadn't been out on a date since I met your Dad when I was a teenager." she laughed. 

I had completely forgotten what my mother looked like when she was happy. I couldn't remember those times and I just marveled at how much younger and more beautiful it made her look. It took a big load off my shoulders, I can tell you. I found I was feeling more relaxed and the tension of seeing and meeting my mother after all this time had drained out of me.

About that time, Frank reappeared. He seemed to have anticipated when we were ready to have him come back and he offered us a drink as he walked into the Living Room. Mom had a gin and tonic and I asked for a beer and Frank joined me. When he returned we all sat around and talked about what we were doing and what our plans were. I was the one with the short term plan. I had one more year of school and then I had no plan. My courses were all general arts and not much in the way of specialization. I had a knack for Psychology, but I didn't see my self in a clinic, treating various social disorders. It was just an interesting subject. I envied Frank and his pilot skills and I told him so.

"Well, I'm sure it looks like my job is all glamour and fun, but it isn't quite that way." he said casually. "I'm a bit of a 'bus driver' really." he grinned. "There's a famous airline pilot saying that the job is endless hours of boredom interrupted by a few moments of sheer terror." he offered calmly. "Anyway, that's not a topic for today. When is your competition?"

"Tomorrow ... all day and evening. It's just a one day meet. We head back on Sunday." I said.

"Well, we had planned to come to the event, so we'll be there. Do you have classes on Monday?" he asked.

"No ... I'm pretty much finished for the year. I've written all my exams and I'm just waiting for results. I have a job that starts the following week, so I'll be busy for the summer." I replied.

"Any worries about the results?" Frank asked.

"No ... I did OK." I answered simply.

"The reason I asked," he said seriously, "I have a check-ride on Sunday and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me. I can look after getting you back to Corvallis, no problem. It would give you a chance to see the neighborhood." he smiled.

"Oh man ... that would be terrific!" It really was terrific. I had never been near a plane before, much less in one up in the air. I couldn't wait for Sunday to arrive. "I'll need to let my coach know so they don't send out a search party on Sunday morning." I explained. 

"Why don't you plan on staying with us tomorrow night, Ron?" Mom chimed in.

"Yah ... great. I can do that. I'll just pack my stuff and take it to the pool with me. Wow ... what a weekend this is turning out to be!" I was really excited. I was back with my mom and I was feeling really good about how things were going. I was even going flying on Sunday. Everything was just perfect.

And it was too. I set personal bests in my specialty, the 1000 Individual Medley and our two relay teams finished first and third with me anchoring both. I was really pumped when the meet finally ended. Mom and Frank met me at the dressing room door and we walked to the car and headed for their home. I guess I was a real chatterbox that evening. I was coming down from the first real excitement in my life since I met Liz. I was looking at my Mom and thinking how good she looked that night. She had on a pair of tight fitting slacks and a v-neck sweater that showed everyone what a great looking woman she was. I think Frank was pretty proud of her too.

Chapter Nine: Up, Up and Away

Sunday morning I woke at my usual time of seven and got up and opened the curtains. My bedroom looked right out over the water toward the San Juan and Gulf Islands. I could see the mountains on the south end of Vancouver Island and even that early on a Sunday morning, there were a bunch of boats on the water. I got dressed and went to the kitchen and found some cereal and juice to tide me over. I knew Mom wanted to make Sunday breakfast for us, so I took it easy. 

Frank showed up next about quarter to eight and he made some coffee and had a glass of Orange Juice himself. I thought it was a good chance to talk to him about Mom.

"Mom really looks happy and I'm glad, Frank."

"She's a very fine lady. I waited a long time for the right one to come along and she was worth the wait." he said with that special smile of his.

"I can't get over how much she's changed. She looks younger and prettier than she did five years ago." I said with an amazed look.

"I'm not surprised. I think a lot of that change came when we met. She seemed a bit surprised that someone was interested in her. I had a bit of a problem getting her to accept the idea that she was a desirable woman. She had a pretty low opinion of herself for a while. I didn't really understand why until you came to town. You've been a real help, Ron." he said seriously.

"I'm just happy that she's OK and that she found you and is happy again. I can barely remember when she was happy." I said with some sorrow.

"Well, she's a different woman now and I think you can put your mind to rest that she isn't angry with you. She knew she had taken a big chance and I think she expected to get caught. She just wanted to get the whole rotten thing over with. Your Dad was slowly driving her crazy by the sound of things."

"She told you all this?" I asked, surprised.

"Not right away. A lot of it came out when we knew you were in town. I had to do some talking to get her to let me bring you here. She was very afraid you wouldn't see her or talk to her. That's why I called you first. It didn't take me very long to figure out that it wouldn't be a problem." he grinned.

"What wouldn't be a problem?" Mom asked as she strolled into the kitchen in a nice summer outfit.

"Uh ... er ..." I stammered.

"We were just talking about your worries about Ron and how he would feel about seeing you again." Frank said with a straight-from-the-shoulder answer.

"Oh ... that." Mom said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"You shouldn't have worried, Mom, but I guess you couldn't know what I knew. I'm sorry it took me so long, but I'm glad you know the truth now." 

She came over to me and hugged me and kissed my cheek and held me tight to her. I could feel the tears on my cheek and I knew they weren't tears of sorrow but of happiness. At least we had put a part of our family back together again. 

The rest of the day was just the icing on the cake. We had breakfast together and about ten o'clock, Frank drove us out to the airport on the north end of town. He took a side road and we ended up at a big hanger with a large sign on the front: North Island Airways. You can imagine how excited I was. We walked into the office and a young guy said hi when Frank introduced me to him as his step-son. I wasn't ready for that. It was a surprise and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I wanted to think about that for a while but I didn't say anything to Frank.

We walked over to a twin-engine plane and Frank said it was a Twin Bonanza that they had bought from the U.S. Army. It looked pretty nice and had a really shiny tan and red paint job. He showed me where to step up onto the wing when I followed him into the cabin and I was surprised how small it was. There were five seats in the passenger area but Frank waved me up and had me sit in the Co-pilot's seat on the right side. Now I was really excited. A little tractor pulled us out of the hangar and Frank handed me a pair of earphones that had a microphone attached to one side. It just kept getting better. He reached over in front of me and in a small compartment and pulled out a case with a pair of sunglasses in it and signaled me to put them on. It was a bright sunny morning and I was going to need them.

I was so excited that I must have been vibrating. I was watching Frank and he was as cool as a cucumber. He was flipping switches and tapping dials and talking now and then to someone on the ground that I couldn't see. I could hear the words in the earphones, but I couldn't make out what they were talking about. Soon, he turned a dial and pushed a button and the propeller on my side started to move. About the same time, a big cloud of white-blue smoke poured out of the exhaust and I wondered if there was a problem, but within a couple of seconds the propeller was turning and the smoke was gone and I could hear the engine running. Frank fiddled with a couple of knobs and the engine seemed to smooth out and he began to go through the same procedure for the left engine. 

In a minute, both engines were running and Frank was looking carefully at the many dials on the dashboard of the plane. I had never seen so many dials and switches and knobs and levers in all my life. I guess I had seen pictures in a magazine, but sitting there, just a few inches away, it seemed overwhelming and I wondered how he could keep track of them all. Frank just sat there for a few minutes just watching things and then turned to me and gave me a 'thumbs up'. He pushed two levers forward and waved to someone on the ground and we began to move. 

Frank looked really cool. He was wearing his black leather jacket and a pilot's cap and his aviator sunglasses and I began to imagine we were in a military aircraft getting ready to go into battle. I suppose some nine year old kid might have been more excited than I was, but I don't know who it might be. We rolled slowly down the apron of the airport and finally got to a runway that had a big 34 painted on it in white. We sat there for a couple of minutes and I could hear Frank talking to Bellingham Tower, but I couldn't make out what was going on until I heard the tower say something about 'cleared to go' and Frank pushed the levers all the way forward and we started to roll.

That first time wasn't just exciting; it was also a bit scary. When you're sitting right up front and looking at the runway passing underneath the nose and you can see the end of the runway coming up quickly, you might just get a bit nervous. I took a quick look at Frank and he was as calm as he could be with that wrinkled grin on his face that I had become used to. Just when I really started to wonder about how much more runway we had, Frank pulled back on the wheel and the nose lifted and we were off and flying. We'd just barely gotten airborne when he reached down and pulled another lever and I heard a howling sound and then a thump. I guessed it was the landing gear coming up. Frank started to move a lever marked flaps and then turned another pair of knobs and I could hear the engine sound change.

I was looking out the side window and I could see the land falling away below us and we were heading out over the water. As we kept going up, I could see further and further and the view was amazing. I looked over at the dials and then felt a tap on my arm as Frank was trying to get my attention. He pointed to his earphones and then I heard his voice. 

"How you doin'" he asked in that voice that now had a bit more of the accent I had picked up on earlier. 

"Fantastic! This is great." I must have had a smile as big as a clown because I could see the laughter in his eyes. I looked down at the dials and noticed that everything had a duplicate. On my side, I had all the dials that Frank did. I figured out that we were at about five thousand feet and climbing slowly as the dial turned clockwise. I could see a compass and one of those dials that told you whether you were flying level or turning one way or another. There was a whole bunch of what looked like radio dials and I couldn't figure out what they were about, so I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Frank began talking in my headset about where we were and pointing out some of the sights. I was finally beginning to calm down, but the exhilaration of my first flight was still with me and I began to think this would be something I would want to do again and again. After we had been flying west for a while, Frank turned us toward the southwest and tapped me on the shoulder. 

"Take the controls. Just hold them lightly. This baby will fly itself." he said lightly. For the next half hour, I got my first flying lesson. I was absolutely in seventh heaven as Frank showed me how to control the aircraft; turning and using the rudder pedals, throttles, watching my compass heading and attitude. I was constantly telling myself to calm down, but it was impossible. I was having the time of my life and I never wanted it to end. I was hooked. I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to fly.

I'm sure I never shut up from the time I climbed down out of the cockpit until we got to his home. I think Frank was getting a real kick out of my enthusiasm for the short trip. He had that funny grin on his face and it never changed. When we got to the house, I guess I was still wound up but Mom and Frank were polite enough not to tell me to shut up. I think Frank was waiting for the thrill to wear off. I was sure it never would. I can't think of anything I ever did in my life that affected me as much as that first flight.

Chapter Ten: Back to Earth 

I finally calmed down after lunch and I started asking Frank about his background. He'd been a B-24 pilot in WW2; flying mostly out of Italy. After the war, he stayed in the Army Air Corp which became the USAF when it was formed in 1947. He spent a lot of his time flying transports in Germany during the Marshall Plan. After that, he was assigned to MATS, the Military Air Transport Service. He became qualified on some four engine transports and then was sent to Korea as a ferry pilot between Japan and South Korea. He racked up an uncounted number of hours in the left seat of a transport.

When he mustered out in 1953, Frank was looking for a flying job. He was single, had thousands of hours of multi-engine prop flying and was willing to work anywhere. Unfortunately, so were several hundred other guys who had gotten out before him. There was no shortage of potential airline pilots for the fast growing new fleets in the U.S. and Canada. The only job he could find that he wanted was as a bush pilot in Alaska. It was going back to single engine Beavers and Norsemen and the occasional Otter, but it was steady work and Frank was doing what Frank loved best; flying. 

I never knew there was a ferry from Bellingham to Ketchikan, Alaska, but there is. Frank was grounded for a couple of weeks and used his saved vacation and caught the ferry to back to the lower 48. He landed in Bellingham on a sunny March day and immediately fell in love with the town. On the third day, he wandered out to the airport and made the rounds of the various outfits looking for an opportunity. When he came across Charlie Killmuth, he found a kindred spirit. He too was an old transport pilot and he was starting up a small airline with a couple of ex-Air Force planes he had bought. No one was servicing the San Juan Islands and while there was a ferry service out of Anacortes, there was no flight service from the Bellingham area to Victoria. The only catch was that a lot of the flying would be on amphibians and Frank needed to get himself qualified. He already had many hours on floats and skis.

The rest was just a matter of Frank heading back to Alaska and handing in his resignation, moving all his worldly possessions into his truck and catching the ferry back to Bellingham. He got himself qualified on the Grumman Goose within a few weeks and just like that he was the second pilot for the fledgling North Island Airways. The name of the new company had come from the location of Bellingham at north end of the San Juan Islands. Frank was convinced that Charlie knew what he was doing and sank every last dime he had into the new venture. It was touch and go for a while, but gradually they had made it work and today it was a prosperous business and Frank had been paid back many times over.

He met my Mom just the way he said; filing flight plans every morning in the office at the airport. He said he saw her there the very first day she started her new job and he thought she was a pretty good looking woman. Frank was now over forty and had never married, but had started to think about it more seriously in the past couple of years. There would never be any of his own kids, he thought, but maybe he could find a nice lady to settle down with and enjoy the great life he had built for himself. My Mom had come along at just that time.




Dear Mother: The Search



They started going out together, but Mom was very cautious and Frank had to be pretty persistent the way Mom told it. I was having fun listening to them tell the story of how they met and fell in love and then, finally, last year in June, they got married. When Frank and I were alone, he told me that Mom was very nervous about getting married because of what had happened with my Dad. He finally got her to tell him some of what had caused her marriage to break up, but Frank knew there was more too it than that. It wasn't until I showed up that he got the whole story out of her and then I filled in all the missing bits. 

Frank had arranged a ticket for me to Portland on the Great Northern and the bus to Corvallis from there. I was to leave on Monday morning, so I had another night and another great time with Mom and Frank. I had quizzed Frank about how I could become a pilot and he said either bring lots of money to get the hours or join the Service and get Uncle Sam to give you the hours. Because I was still in College and getting good grades, I was exempt from the draft, but all that would end when I finished school next year. Frank suggested I go down to the USAF recruiting office and talk to them first about timing and opportunities. Every branch of the service had flying opportunities; including the Coast Guard. 

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of flying boats. I don't exactly know why, but maybe it was the ocean and the ability to land anywhere that made it attractive. Unlike most kids who wanted to be fighter pilots and fly hot jets, I had a more romantic view of flying and I would be happy, I thought, doing what Frank did. Frank kind of kidded me about my 'fairy-tale' view of his occupation, but then he said he knew someone who felt the same way. One of his compatriot transport pilots was Ernest K. Gann, the famous author. I was amazed when Frank told me that Gann sailed the San Juan Islands and was planning to buy a home somewhere nearby. He had talked to him several times and occasionally saw him sailing in the islands on his boat. Frank showed me a collection of his books in his office and handed me one: Fate Is the Hunter. It was brand new and when I opened it, I was stunned to see Mr. Gann's autograph with a "Salute to a fellow Gooney Bird Jockey" inscription. 

Frank wanted me to have it but I couldn't accept it. I handed it back saying I'd get it out of the school library and probably some of his other books too. If he was a pilot, then I wanted to know everything he had to say about my new interest. The more I heard about this part of America, the more I wanted to spend time here. 

Chapter Eleven: The Big Decision

I headed back to OSU on Monday morning as planned. The Great Northern was on time and I headed to Seattle and then Portland before catching the bus. It was a repeat of three years earlier but somehow the time went more slowly and I found myself lost in my thoughts. I couldn't have been happier finding Mom and especially finding her happily married and to a great guy. She lived in a beautiful home and in a beautiful part of the country and I was envious but also very happy for her. Our parting was a bit tearful but we knew we would be seeing each other again and much more often. 

I called Aunt Hilda and let her know everything I had learned and done. She was delighted and I told her she would be hearing from Mom now that she had her address. When I got back to my dorm, there was a note pinned to the door telling me to see Derek in 228 for a message. I put my gear in the room and hung up my coat before heading down the hall and knocking on Derek's door. He was in and scrounged around on his desk until he came up with a torn and tattered piece of paper. He passed it to me and I looked at it trying to decipher the writing.

"What's it say?" I asked.

"Um ... let's see ... um ... somebody called you. Um ... it was a girl. Um ... Polly? ... No."

I cut him off. "Penny?" I exclaimed.

"Yah ... that's it ... I think." Derek looked a bit doubtful but now that he had said her name, I was sure it must have been her. Luckily, the phone number he had written was at least readable. I headed back to my room and closed the door. Zoltan was nowhere to be found so I assumed he was out with Darlene. I sat on my bed and looked at the scribbled note. I tried to figure out where this phone number would take me. I dug in my pocket for some change and luckily I had over a dollar in quarters plus a couple of dimes and nickels. 

I headed out into the hallway to the pay phone and picked up the handset. I put a nickel in and dialed O. An operator came on and asked me for the number and I gave it to her. She asked me for 75 cents for three minutes and when I dropped the three quarters, she put the call through. I waited as the phone rang a couple of times before someone answered.

"Mountain View Inn." an older woman's voice announced.

"Uh ... Miss Penny Lane please." I said.

"One moment please." There was a pause and then the woman came back on the line. "I'm sorry sir, that person has checked out."

"When did she leave?" I asked. 

"Um ... two days ago." she said

"Ah ... did she leave any forwarding address or a message for a Ron Francis?" I asked hopefully.

"No sir. I'm sorry. She didn't." she answered simply.

"Oh ... OK ... uhm ... where is the Mountain View Inn?" I asked.

"Eugene, Oregon." she answered politely.

"Uh ... OK ... thanks a lot." I said as I slowly hung up.

A mystery. Penny had called but why? When did she call? I opened the door and headed down the hall to Derek's room again.

"Derek, when did this call come in?" I asked in a demanding tone.

"Uh ... like Friday I think ... yah ... Friday." he answered vaguely. 

"Was there anything else? Did she say anything else?" I asked again in a demanding voice.

"Uh ... I can't remember anything ... I don't think so." He gave me another of his patented vacant looks. I marveled at how someone with so little appearance of intelligence could get into an accredited University. 

I walked slowly back to my room with a bunch of questions rolling around in my head. It was Penny, but why was she calling? Was she in the area and just decided to say hello? Was she trying to establish some contact with me again? She didn't know anything about Liz, so maybe she wanted us to get together again. It didn't look like any of those questions would get answered. I cursed my luck at being out of town just when she called. On the other hand, I wouldn't have missed this past weekend for anything in the world. 

The time had come for some big decisions. I knew I wanted to be a pilot and yet I also knew I had to find out what the call from Penny was about. I realized I hadn't forgotten her and my interlude with Liz was just that; a piece of my life, but not a complete piece. I still had feelings for Penny, but I had no idea if she was still single, or, if not, would she even be interested in me again. With the same resolution that I felt about becoming a pilot, I knew I had to find Penny again and resolve that question. 

Well, there it is. I've gone and left you hanging again. Will Ron find Penny? Will he get a chance to fly? Stay tuned, fun seekers. It ain't over yet. 



Dear Mother



"Yah ... I like that. Then what?" I continued. I was beginning to get into this game.

"I don't know. Why don't we wait and see how your mother reacts to the first letter or even the second before we decide." she said emphatically.

"OK ... jeez Penny ... you are really good at this ... mystery solving I mean." My compliment was meant sincerely.

"We haven't solved anything yet, Ron. We need to figure this out and I'm really keen to get to the bottom of this; one way or another."

Trust Penny to bring me down to earth. I drove her home, gave her a kiss on the cheek and headed for my home with a thousand questions in my head. What was my mother up to? Was she really an adulteress? One part of me hoped it wasn't true and yet another part said it may be the answer to my father's misery. The law was pretty hard on adultery; even in this enlightened age of 1957. He could get a divorce and she would be sent away with almost nothing but her clothes. In the old days, there would have been a mark of shame on her forehead. We're a lot more civilized now. But I wondered if Dad would think twice about sending her away.

I got home a little before nine, so I knew I wouldn't get a lecture from Mom. I headed up for my room to think about what I'd learned and what I would do next. As I lay on my bed, I wondered if my father knew anything about this. I wondered if he had any idea that she might be seeing someone else when he wasn't around. He was a smart guy. It was hard to believe my mother could fool him for a long period of time. 

I pulled the now dog-eared copy of Playboy out from under my mattress. It was the one with the terrific pictures of Julie Newmar and Tina Louise. I could get an erection just thinking about those two women. I thought about Penny and wondered what she looked like without her clothes on. Pretty sexy, I bet. She had bumps in all the right places. She didn't wear tight clothes, so it was hard to tell, but I was pretty sure she had a nice body. 

Penny and I were going to the movies on Saturday night and when I picked her up in my Dad's shiny new white and gold Dodge, I was feeling pretty good. She had her best pink and charcoal poodle skirt and saddle shoes with white socks and a pink blouse. She looked super! I held the door for her and she slipped onto the brocade and vinyl passenger seat. When I got in, she handed me an unsealed plain envelope with my mother's name and address on the front and PRIVATE typed in capital letters. There was no return address on the envelope; just the four cent stamp. I opened it and unfolded the single page. The single line of type simply asked the question: 'Who is Mr. Edwin Robinson?'

I stared at the letter for a moment while my thoughts raced through my head. What would she think when she got this? How would she react? My mother always got to the mail first since the delivery was just before noon. I would give anything to see how she looked when she opened this letter. I knew that wasn't going to happen since I would be at work when the mailman made his rounds. I looked at Penny without saying anything for a moment before I handed it back to her. I pushed the D button on the dashboard console and we headed off toward the theatre. 

I couldn't tell you much about the movie that night. I wasn't paying attention as my mind was wandering to all sorts of strange thoughts about what was going to happen in the next few days. We had set the wheels in motion and when that letter was slipped into the mailbox in front of the drug store, there was no going back. 

I figured that the letter wouldn't show up until Tuesday, but just to be sure, I would watch how my mother acted on Monday evening when I got home from work. I couldn't see anything different and when Dad came home, she didn't react any differently that she would have on any other night. I came to the conclusion that it hadn't arrived yet. The next day was the day she had been going to Mr. Robinson's house. I made sure I swung by in the afternoon and to my surprise, her car wasn't there. What if she wanted to warn him, I thought. I went by the plant where he worked and looked for his car. He drove a turquoise and white '55 Chev sedan but I couldn't see it or Mom's car in their parking lot. 

I was home as early as I could get there and decided to engage my mother in conversation to see if I could detect anything different. I had thought of a topic; my going to Junior College here in town rather than to State for the first couple of years. It would mean I would be living at home and I wanted to see how she reacted to that. 

"Say Mom, there's something I wanted to talk to you and Dad about." I began.

She looked at me kind of funny. "Why don't you wait until your Dad is home?" she asked.

"Yah ... I just wanted you to know that I've made a decision about college ... I'm going to go to Junior College here instead of State for the first two years. I can save some money and still live at home. That way I can save for my last two years at State." I explained.

I saw her shoulders slump and she didn't answer right away. She turned to go back into the kitchen and said: "We'll talk about this when your Dad gets home." 

I couldn't really tell anything from that. I went up to my room and sat at my desk for a few minutes. I heard Mom come upstairs and go to her bedroom and close the door. That was unusual. I remembered where she usually put the envelopes from the daily mail and I quietly headed downstairs to the laundry room and checked the waste paper pail. There it was ... the envelope that I had mailed on Saturday night. There was no sign of the single page that was inside. So now I knew she had seen the question.

When Dad came home, I could tell that Mom wasn't her normal self. She didn't ignore him, but she stayed pretty well clear of him, it seemed to me. When I brought up the subject of Junior College at the dinner table, I don't think Dad was too excited about it. He said something about growing up by being on my own and I could get that at State, not here at home. I was a bit surprised, but then Dad was a good thinker and I had to respect his opinion. I dropped the subject; after all I still had my senior year and I had lots of time to decide. Mom hadn't said a word during the whole discussion.

After dinner, I rode my bike over to Penny's to report what had happened. She was as surprised as I was that my mother hadn't reacted more strongly to the letter. We talked about it a bit more and decided to see if she would be at the Robinson's on Thursday. I confessed to Penny that I had an empty feeling inside me and I didn't think anything good was going to come out of all this. We were playing with fire and someone was going to get burned. She gave me a big hug and it helped me feel better as well as a bit horny. We just sat and talked for a while and it was good to have someone to share all this with. I felt like I was carrying a big sack on my back and I wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. I suggested we forget the whole thing and just ignore what was happening, but Penny reminded me of how unhappy I was before and didn't I want to see what was really going on? Of course, she was right.

On Thursday, I drove by the Robinson's and there was no sign of Mom's car sitting out front. I thought maybe she had been scared off by our letter so I was pleased at that. I turned the corner and had to slow down to let a car drive into the lane and when I looked up the lane, I thought I saw a familiar car. I drove around the block and looked from the other end. I could see Mom's car parked almost out of sight in the back of Robinson's house, right in front of the garage doors. I was surprised. Obviously our little memo hadn't bothered her very much. I was upset and it was all I could do to be nice to her at dinner. I got out of the house as quickly as I could and beat it over to Penny's. 

"Well, Ron, I guess we have to go to the next step." she said with resignation. "The question is ... what's the next step?"

"I've been thinking about that a lot. I don't want to drag this out. I think we should send the next letter to Dad. Then it'll be up to him what happens." I said with a sigh of resignation.

"Are you sure?" Penny asked carefully.

"No ... but if we fire another warning shot ... well ... anything could happen. If we just send a one line note to Dad that asks him what mother's car is doing at the Robinson address every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon ... well ... then it's up to him to decide ... not us."

Penny just nodded and said she would prepare the letter that night She also said she would address it to his work, marked private. That way, my Mom wouldn't see it and open it ... even by accident.

Once again, I had that horrible, empty feeling that leaves you wanting to just lie down and do nothing for a while. I excused myself from Penny's house, promising to call her tomorrow and headed home. It took me a while on my bike. I wasn't moving very fast and I wasn't in any hurry to get there. I wondered if I hadn't gone too far with this plan. I began to think I might be in too deep. I guessed I would find out next week.

When Dad came home on Monday night, I could see something was wrong. He looked very unhappy. He hardly said a word when he came in the door and darn little at dinner. I couldn't see anything different about my mother's behavior, so I figured she didn't know what was going on. I was pretty sure Dad had gotten the letter that day and he was obviously upset at what it said. I thought maybe he was waiting 'till I was out of the house to talk to Mom about it, but when I got home from Penny's later, there was no sign of anything wrong. Mom was sitting by the radio, listening to her usual Lux Radio Theatre and Dad was in the basement workshop, doing something or other. No sign of trouble.

What happened on that Tuesday afternoon took me a while to find out. The way I understand it, Dad got some time off work that afternoon and went over to the neighborhood where the Robinsons lived. He parked the car and walked to their house and looked around. He couldn't see Mom's car out front, so he went around to the lane and spotted it there, likely in the spot she had been parked on Thursday. I guess he must have decided to take the bull by the horns and went up to the back door and knocked. When nobody answered, he tried the door and it was unlocked and he walked in. He must have heard voices and he headed to the front bedroom and there he found Mom and Mr. Robinson in their underwear and they were lying on the bed. 

He must have scared the daylights out of Mr. Robinson because I heard he tried to hide in the closet while Dad was yelling at Mom. It was a pretty ugly scene. He apparently took her car keys from her purse and stormed out of the house and took Mom's car and brought it home; putting it in the garage. It never went in the garage! That was reserved for the Dodge. I don't know how he got his car; maybe he took a cab, but by the time I got home, the Dodge was in the driveway and Dad was sitting at the kitchen table with a pretty strong looking drink in front of him. There was no sign of Mom.

I had to play dumb at this stage or I really would have been in trouble so I just asked Dad where Mom was.

"She's not here." he said with an angry voice. "And she isn't going to be here any more." He almost spat the words out.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"I caught her in bed with another man, son. She cheated on me ... on us. She's been unfaithful and I'm going to divorce her." he said with direct and simple conviction.

"Holy cow, Dad. Are you sure?" I wasn't faking now. I was really alarmed at how quickly he had decided to take action. I thought he'd be torn up or sad or wondering why it had happened; but this was a lot different than I expected. He seemed to be angry all right, but there was something else as well. Like he wanted revenge or something. I didn't like what I saw then. This was a different Dad than I was used to. 

"It's hard not to be sure when they're lying on a bed together with almost no clothes on. Your mother didn't even try to deny it." He wasn't looking at me when he talked. He took another drink from the glass and just stared at it. "She is going to pay for this. She's not going to have anything when this is over. She's going to be lucky to have the clothes on her back." There was no mistaking the anger in his voice. I was hoping my mother didn't do anything stupid and try to come home tonight. I was afraid of what would happen. But that brought up another question. Where was she? Where would she go? Where could she go? I needed to talk to Penny and I told Dad I was going over there and I didn't feel like any dinner. He just nodded and I left on my bike and pedaled slowly toward my girlfriend's house.

When I got to the Lane house, I was a basket case. It was all I could do to tell Penny what Dad had told me. It was the worst kind of result I could have expected. I just sat around with my head in my hands and moped. I wasn't very good company that night or for a few nights afterward. My mother had disappeared and it would be a long time before I would hear from her again.

-0-

I was surprised that Dad and I were able to get along on our own as well as we did. We did our own laundry except for his shirts and we even tried to learn to iron things; but not very well. We shared the vacuuming and we figured out how to make simple meals for ourselves so that we ate properly and didn't get sick. Dad surprised me when he gave me the keys to Mom's car. Actually, it was Dad's car; he just let Mom drive it. I promised to keep it in good shape and wash it every week. I was doing that for Mom anyway, so it was no big deal. There wouldn't be many seniors at my school who had their own car, so I felt pretty lucky.

Dad told me that they had a hard time finding Mom to serve her with the divorce papers, but eventually they caught up with her at her Aunt's house in Salem and the legal stuff was under way. Dad said that the court would be pretty hard on her since the grounds were Adultery and that was pretty serious stuff. He didn't know what would happen to Ed Robinson; but he was named as something called the correspondent in the proceedings. I guess that meant he was the other guy. It took almost a year for the divorce to go through and Mom was left with almost nothing when it was done. Dad said he had given her $500.00 and all her clothes and jewelry and that was it. It would give her a chance to move somewhere and start a new life. Her days in our little town were over. Too many people knew what she did and probably would never let her forget it. 

My Dad found a new lady; actually someone from his office that he had know for a few years. Her husband had been killed in Korea and she needed a job and she was working in Dad's office. I guess they were both on the rebound, sort of, and started dating about three months after Mom left as far as I could tell. He said her name was Jeanine Carter and he really liked her and I would get to meet her someday soon. My Dad must have spent almost every night visiting with Jeanine. I was glad to see him happy again. He had recovered quickly from that anger and revenge that I saw that afternoon and was back to his old self. 

We talked a lot about College and we agreed that it was my decision on whether to go to State right away or stay here for Junior College for two years. I thought it would depend on whether I could get a swimming scholarship at State. That would help with the money. Dad didn't seem too worried about money and told me to do what I really wanted to do and not worry about the cost. That took a lot of pressure off.

Penny and I are really very close still. She too was upset at the outcome of my parent's marriage and what we had caused to happen. She felt very guilty that if she hadn't suggested the letters, they might still be together. I reminded her of how unhappy they both were before all this happened and she had to agree that maybe it was for the best. 

I had lost track of my mother and I hadn't tried very hard to find her. I received a Christmas card from her and the address was her Aunt's place in Salem, so I guessed that she was still living there. I didn't send her one and I didn't feel guilty about it. A few months later, we received a notification from a lawyer that her Aunt had died and left some money for me in her will. It was a $100.00 bond toward my education. I didn't even remember the lady, so I was pretty surprised that she would leave me something. That money was almost a third of the first year tuition at State, so I was very grateful. 

Dad had introduced me to Jeanine at Thanksgiving and I saw her several times as she came over for dinner and such. She was pretty with blonde hair, big boobs and a nice, big smile that she used often. I think she was about 35, so she wasn't much younger than Dad. I could see why he liked her. She was fun and always seemed to be happy; just the opposite of my mother in the past few years. It didn't come as a big surprise when he told me one night that he was going to ask Jeanine to marry him as soon as the divorce was final. If she said yes, then he wanted to ask her to move in with us. After all, they would be engaged and she could stay in the spare bedroom and that way there wouldn't be any hanky panky. Besides, they would be saving a lot of money.


I had to laugh. Can you imagine in this day and age people worrying about that sort of thing? Hadn't they heard it was 1958 and times were changing? Just read a Playboy magazine and see what's been going on. Boy, my Dad had some catching up to do. Anyway, I was just happy to see him happy and I didn't see any problem getting along with Jeanine. 

I'd been doing pretty well in school thanks to all the help I got from Penny. She and I would study together and I really enjoyed my time with her. Actually, the most valuable thing she did for me was to teach me how to study. Once I had a system, my results were a lot better. I was doing well on the swim team too and we were headed for the State High School Championships if we kept going the way we were going. I was hoping this would lead to an athletic scholarship, but I wasn't counting on it. Penny hadn't decided on her next step. She was way too smart not to go to college, but I gather money might have been a problem. I suggested she apply for an academic scholarship or bursary I think they called it. Every little bit would help. She would probably go to the local Junior College, just to keep the costs down.

In early May I received a letter and I recognized the handwriting before I saw the contents. It was from my mother. I put it on my desk, unopened and tried to steady myself before I read it. I never expected to hear from her again. I had thought about her a lot. She would never see me married or see any of her grandchildren. We would never talk to each other again probably. She had been exiled; banished from my life. It was a shaking pair of hands that slit the letter flap and pulled out the contents. 

My Dearest Ronald:

I have been trying to write this letter for a long time and I have finally summoned the courage to do so. There are so many things I want to say to you and so many things I want to apologize for. I know that in the past few years you have been very unhappy with me. That's because I was very unhappy too. Your father and I had a very good marriage until five years ago when he seemed to become dissatisfied with me. He would not tell me what the problem was about, but I could tell by his attitude and his behavior that I was the source of that unhappiness. I wondered if he had found someone else that he had fallen in love with but he denied this and said I was being foolish. 




Dear Mother



I knew that I had to keep our family together until you were out on your own at College. I was planning to leave your father then because I couldn't live with the misery we had made for ourselves. He hid this very well from you and I admire him for that. You never saw how he treated me when you weren't there, but I'm glad of that too. After five years of his mental torture, I confess I stopped loving him and fell into the relationship with Mr. Robinson. It was an accident, but I let it happen and I will never forgive myself. Not only did I destroy our family, I destroyed his as well. I don't know who told your father about the affair, but I think I may have wanted to get caught just to put an end to the charade. These are things I will have to take with me to the grave. 

I want you to know how much I love you, my son. I want you to know that I will never interfere with your life and never again cause you pain. I hope you can forgive me and I hope someday, I can forgive myself. I wish you all the best in your bright future and I send you all my love,

Your mother, Helen

As I finished reading the letter, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her; even with her anger in these past years. She was my mother and she still loved me and she would always love me; just as I would always love her in some way. I tried to understand what she was telling me in her letter, but it seemed that she was just blaming Dad for her problems.

There was a return address on the envelope that I didn't recognize and it was from out of state. I put the letter back in the envelope and put it in my shoebox of keepsakes. Maybe someday I'd answer it. I didn't show the letter to anyone, not even Penny and I'm pretty sure my Dad didn't know it existed. I still have it and I think I always will.

Jeanine moved in to our house in late May and almost immediately, things changed. If they thought they were pulling the wool over my eyes with their nighttime shenanigans, they were sadly mistaken. Jeanine was quite noisy in bed, it turned out. She liked to let Dad know how he was doing and how she was feeling and what she wanted him to do. For me, it was Sex Ed 301 ... way past what I had known about. As far as I could tell, she liked sex and wanted it regularly and couldn't care less who knew it. I think my Dad was a bit embarrassed, but I thought it was interesting and funny in a way and besides, he was entitled to some happiness. He was certainly getting a regular dose of happiness. 

Jeanine wasn't much of a cook. In fact, I think Dad and I each made more meals that she did and based on her efforts, it was probably just as well. She also didn't really take to housework. She and Dad would get home from work in the late afternoon and she would be too tired to do anything. I got the message pretty quickly and it was back to the days when Dad and I were on our own. Oh, and she didn't iron either so we were still sending Dad's shirts to the laundry. All things considered though, it was a pretty happy household and it was a big change from the tension of Mom and Dad's days and the loneliness of our bachelor days. She did take to the new TV, however. She had all the shows she wanted to watch memorized. She knew which channel, what day and when. So, she did have another skill after all.

It was late June on a Saturday afternoon. I was sitting at the kitchen table with Jeanine, telling her about my plans for College and talking a bit about my relationship with Penny. She was very interested in that. She thought it was very romantic that we had known each other since we were little kids and had grown up together and were still interested in being with each other. She asked me point blank if we had "done it" yet and I blushed and assured her we hadn't. She seemed to think that was too bad and we were missing out on something great and calmly stated that she had lost her virginity and the tender age of fifteen. I was stunned at her admission. She talked about it as if it were commonplace; no big deal she said. 

Somehow the conversation got onto the subject of love. She talked about her first husband who she thought she was in love with but it turned out to be something less. I gathered that she didn't mourn his death in Korea for too long and I said something to that effect to her. 

"What gave you the idea he died in Korea?" she asked with a funny look.

"That's what Dad told me." I answered.

"Hell no! I dumped him and got a quickie divorce in Reno. He's still living in some trailer park in Idaho I'll bet." she said offhandedly.

Well, that was a bit of a shock. I guess Dad didn't want me to think less of her because she was a divorcee. I could understand that.

"So, how did you and Dad meet?" I asked innocently.

"Oh, I spotted him the minute I went to work at his office. He was the cutest and smartest guy there and I set my sights on him." she bragged. 

I was beginning to get a very uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hadn't had this feeling for many months and here it was back again.

"So, how long have you worked at the Agency?" I asked carefully.

"Over five years; almost six." she replied smiling.

"So, how long have you and Dad been ... dating?" I asked equally carefully.

"About a month after I started. I don't mess around. I see what I want and I go get it. Your Dad didn't have a chance." she laughed.

I could only assume she had no clue the importance of what she had just told me. I was almost at the point of asking her when they first had sex, but realized she had already told me. I must have turned white or something, because I felt faint and I guess it showed.

"Are you all right Ron?" she asked with a worried look.

"Yah ... I'll be OK ... maybe just something I ate." I stuttered. 

"Excuse me, I've gotta go over to Penny's. I'll be back in a while." I said.

I drove to Penny's with my mind going nine hundred miles an hour. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. How could he? 

When I got there, I was happy that Penny was in the back yard, reading a book. She looked lovely as always and I told her so. She looked at me strangely and could see I was in some kind of turmoil.

"What wrong, Ron?" she asked with a concerned look.

"Penny, we have another assignment. We have to find my mother."