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A Joke

By: Agena



"It was just a joke." she told me and he tried to back her up, but my perception of the whole episode was such that I couldn't believe her. It was so real at the time and they didn't have any way of proving it hadn't happened or that maybe that it had happened for real before. If my perception was that they did it and I couldn't believe that it was just a joke then I couldn't live with my wife of 23 years anymore. I guess I'd better tell you the story so you can understand my dilemma. Just the short version mind you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Flo, short for Florence, was my wife. I'm Jim. We'd met in college and had married soon after graduation. We lived a normal life as husband and wife, had kids, a house and a mortgage. Flo was a stay-at- home mom until the kids started school full time and then she resumed her career in real estate. Flo is an attractive woman and I'm sure she gets hit on occasionally while on the job, but as far as I know she'd remained faithful to me and our marriage. She has a ribald sense of humor sometimes and I think that's what eventually got our marriage into trouble.

We had two children, a boy, Eric, and a girl, Patty. At the time this occurred Eric was 21 and had graduated from a vocational school after high school. He had his own apartment nearby and was working as a journeyman electrician. Patty was 19 and a sophomore at the state university about 150 miles away. With the kids away we should have been looking forward to a happy retirement down the road with time to travel and hopefully, grandchildren to dote over.

Our sex life was what I thought was normal. We had a loving relationship honed and developed over our married life. When we were first married we had sex just about every night and during the day on weekends. As time progressed we were down to two or three times a week, which was enough to take away the urge for me and I thought it was the same for Flo. Over the years I'd learned all of Flo's buttons to push to get her to orgasm and when she came she made a peculiar keening sound to announce her release. It always gave me a thrill to know that I had satisfied her and the sound of her keening was what I strived for in our love making and not achieving my own pleasure.

Just about every situation has a fly in the ointment and ours came along in the form of a new next door neighbor. Roger and his wife, Alice, moved into the house next door about five years ago and we became friends. The problem with Roger was that he was a practical joker and he loved to pull pranks on everyone he was associated with and much to my chagrin I was one of the favorite recipients for his fetish. Also, what bothered me even more was Flo's enjoyment of his pranks, especially if I was on the receiving end. I tried to tell her I didn't like his jokes or her enjoyment, even participation, but she wouldn't listen or back off.

Over a period of time I'd picked up that Roger was attracted to Flo and I think entertained thoughts about getting into her panties. Whenever we were together he and Flo laughed together at his, sometimes, raunchy jokes while Alice and I just smiled politely at their antics. When we were out in public I know that Alice was as mortified as I was at some of the things they did. I remember one at the beach Roger mooned some people in a passing boat and to my horror Flo followed suit. Alice and I were appalled at their indiscretion and chastised them to no avail as they laughed hysterically together. 

It was a short while before the end that I began to suspect that things were getting out of hand. We were over at Roger and Alice's house and Alice and I were sitting in the back yard while Flo followed Roger into the house to help carry out the drinks. Alice and I talked for awhile until we realized that Flo and Roger had been gone for quite a bit of time so we went inside to look for them. When we got into the kitchen we found it empty but just as we started the looking for them they came from the family room with their arms around one another, giggling and laughing. Roger had lipstick on his collar and around his mouth while Flo's lipstick appeared smeared and her hair disheveled. Alice and I just stood there in shock with our mouths open 

"Oh, hi you guys. Sorry we're slow with the drinks, but I had to show Flo my etchings." Roger told us, apparently unconcerned at their appearance. Alice and I continued to stand there, still dumfounded at their apparent brazen boldness.

"Roger has some wonderful etchings; you know the ones I mean don't you Alice?" Flo commented with a smirk.

By this time I'd gathered my wits about me and finally spoke up.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked Flo. "How come Roger's got lipstick on his face and clothes and you look like you've been doing some necking."

"Oh, that's because I was so happy to see Roger's etchings. I must have gotten carried away. Do you mind?" she asked while trying to maintain a straight face.

I was beginning to catch on as I looked at their faces. Roger had the smirk on his face he develops when he pulls one of his pranks and Flo was looking away so I couldn't see how hard she was trying to keep from laughing. I could feel my irritation mounting.

Alice wasn't tuned in yet to what was going on as she finally spoke up. "What the hell is going on Roger? If you think you're going to carry on with another woman in my house, you've got another think coming."

When Roger and Flo suddenly started to laugh uproariously I think Alice finally got the picture what was going on and she smiled sheepishly. However, I exploded at them.

"One of these days you two are going to go too far and the shit will hit the fan."

"Oh lighten up honey. Its just a joke. If you could have seen the look on your faces you would think it was funny too." Flo told me while continuing to laugh.

"C'mon you guys; let me get you a drink and we'll laugh about it together." Roger said as he headed to the kitchen with Flo behind him, still laughing.

Alice and I just shrugged our shoulders and followed after them while shaking our heads in disgust. 

"One of these days Alice, they're going to go to far." I predicted again.

"One of these times one of their jokes will back fire on them and someone's going to get hurt." Alice spoke in agreement.

When we got back to our place that night I think Flo knew I was still pissed, especially about her participation in the prank.

"Honey, I'm sorry."she told me. "I just get carried away sometimes. Nothing happened. I just smeared some of my lipstick on his face and collar and mussed up my hair. We never thought you guys would ever come into the house. We were almost going to skip the whole thing when you and Alice finally showed up. Are you still mad at me? It was just a joke."

I'm trying not to be Flo, but you've got to stop getting involved in Roger's pranks. I almost had a heart attack when I saw you looking like you were making out with him. You know how I feel about faithfulness."

"I know honey. I feel the same way and would never do anything to hurt you."

"Well, please remember that."

"OK, give me a big kiss and tell me you forgive me."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A couple of weeks later we were invited back to Roger and Alice for a cook out on a Saturday evening, but just as we finished eating a call came in that Roger took for Alice. Alice worked at the local hospital as an emergency room nurse.

After he hung up the phone he turned to Alice.

"That was the emergency room. There's been a bad automobile accident and several people injured. They want you to come in right away."

"Oh shit, I'll change and get going."

Ten minutes later alice was heading to the hospital. After she was gone Roger turned to me and asked if I would help him with a project in his basement while I was there. Flo was quiet during this time and facing away from me. I didn't think anything about it at the time but later I remembered.

"Sure. "What can I do?" I asked as I stood up to follow him to the basement.

"I want you to hold something for me while I attach it to the ceiling. Its not too heavy but I can't hold it up there and attach it at the same time and Alice is too short to hold it."

"Okay, it sounds easy."

"Trust me, it is and it'll only take a minute."

When we got down stairs he took me over to a metal support post for the floor above was installed next to the furnace. He took a small metal box with a power cord dangling from it off his work bench and held it up to the ceiling between the support pipe and the furnace. I noticed that Flo had followed us downstairs and was standing watching us with a smile on her face. Again, I didn't place any significance to her being there or the strange smile.

"Now, I want you to hold this here while I attach it." Roger told me.

"What the hell is it?" I asked as I raised my arms to hold the box. Since Roger was standing between the pipe and the furnace it necessitated that I place my hands around the pipe to hold it against the basement ceiling. 

"I'll show you in a minute, but first let me get my tools."

He disappeared behind me to his work bench leaving me holding up the box. Within a second or two he was back and I didn't see what he had in his hand until I heard two quick clicks as something hard and metallic gripped my wrists. Suddenly, I realized that I'd been suckered and I was handcuffed around the pipe. I turned my head in shock to look as Roger went over to Flo and put his arm around her waist as they stood looking at me.

My mind was in a turmoil but I managed to speak, "What the hell is this Roger? Get these damn handcuffs off me."

"Well buddy, you know I can't do that. Flo says she liked my etchings so much that she wants to see them again but we don't want you or Alice around to watch this time."

As he spoke he and Flo turned and preceded back up the cellar steps. Flo was undulating her hips in an exaggerated manner as she moved.

"Let me loose damn it. You're going too far this time Roger and you're going to regret it if you don't let me loose right now."

"Just be cool for a little while honey, I just want to look at some etchings." Flo said as they disappeared from view laughing and giggling.

As I struggled with the cuffs, trying to see if there was some way I could get free I realized the hopelessness of my situation. The pipe was imbedded in the concrete floor at the bottom and bolted in place against a steel I beam at the top.

Listening I could here them move into the master bedroom right above me and I heard Flo's excited giggles. Shoes dropped to the carpet above me and I heard Flo exclaim, "Oh, that's a nice big one. Bigger than Jim's."

"Hurry and get those panties and bra off Flo. I want you bad."

My rage was mounting by the minute as I continued to struggle mindlessly against the handcuffs. 

"C'mon, put that big thing in me. I want to be stretched out for a change."

"Damn Flo, you're one sexy piece. Let me slide it in you."

"Oh god, that feels good. Push it in further and fuck me hard, Roger. That's it, that's it. It feels so good."

I heard the bed beginning to creak above me and I could picture them fucking. I was cursing and swearing at the cuffs and my adulterous spouse over my head. My wrists were scraped raw and bleeding as I continued to jerk and twist against the cuffs. My mind was a maelstrom of emotion as I heard Roger grunting and Flo moaning in rhythm.

Suddenly, Roger cried out, "I'm cumming!! I'm cumming!!" Then I heard Flo start to keen just like she did when I got her off.

Then all was quiet above for a few minutes. I had ceased struggling and was just laying on the hard cement floor with my arms around the pipe. I felt a terrible sadness in my heart as I heard Flo exclaim finally.

Oh, that was really good Roger. I'm going to have to see your etchings again some time. I suppose we should get dressed and go down and see how Jim is doing."

"OK Flo, I need to rest a minute but Alice should be getting back soon from that false call I sent her on and I don't want her to see me in bed with you."

A few minutes later I heard footsteps on the basement stairs but didn't look up as they came over to where I lay.

"Oh shit," I heard Roger say. "Look at his wrists. They're all bloody."

"Honey, it was just a joke. Nothing happened. Oh god, I'm so sorry. Hurry up Roger, unlock the cuffs so we can get his wrists bandaged. Oh god, oh god. I never thought he'd take it this hard."

I looked up at them with tears streaming down my face as Roger fumbled with the key in the cuffs.

"Roger, you had better give Flo that key before you unlock me and then start running. When I get free I'm going to make you sorry the day you were born."

Roger looked in my face and silently handed the key to Flo. He began to move to the basement steps with a fearful look at me as Flo began to unlock. As she finally got the cuffs off I heard Roger's truck start and the screech of tires as he took off.

Standing, I looked down at Flo still squatting on the floor and she had a look of fear on her face.

"Woman, you'd better find another place to sleep tonight or I might do you serious physical harm and you'd better call before you attempt to come home."

Tears were streaming down her face now as she began to realize the enormity of the hurt she had caused me.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. It was just a joke. We didn't do anything."

"Flo, I never want to hear that nonsense about it being a joke again. As far as I'm concerned my perception is the you did it and that's all that counts now. From here on we will proceed as though you committed adultery and cuckolded me. You can expect to hear from my lawyer in a few days. We're through." I exclaimed as I turned and headed up the stairs.

"No Jim, please, nothing happened, nothing happened." she wailed at me from the basement floor. "What'll I tell the kids?"

I didn't respond as I headed out the front door. Just as I was getting in my car a very mad Alice swung into their driveway.

"Where the hell is that shit-for-brains husband of mine? There was no accident and I wasn't needed at the ER." she cried as she got out of the car. Suddenly she noticed my wrists.

"What happened Jim? Good god, look at your wrists. Let me get them bandaged for you."

"Roger and Flo pulled another joke Alice. This time they went to far and I'm divorcing Flo."

"Good god, what did they do?"

"You can hear it from Flo and Roger. I'm heading home and I'll do my own bandaging when I get there. You can tell my slut ex-wife she'll find her clothes and things on the front porch. If she wants to get in our house again she'd better have a court order."

"Oh god, what did they do? What did they do?" A distraught Alice cried out as she hurried into the house. 

I got in my car and headed home, still seething inside. When I got home I carefully washed my wrists with antibacterial soap, applied an antibiotic salve and bandaged them as best as I could. Then I methodically began to bag Flo's cloths, makeup and other personal items in plastic, yard bags and put it out on the front porch. The phone was ringing as I worked but I refused to answer it or even to check caller ID. 

When I finished I locked up, undressed and lay on the bed. Even though I was emotionally and physically tired I couldn't get to sleep for a long time. When I awoke in the morning the phone was ringing again, but I refused to acknowledge it. I got up, showered and had breakfast. Then replaced my wrist bandages.

About ten o'clock the doorbell rang and I looked out to see Alice standing at the door. Opening it I motioned her inside.

"Well, they really did it this time, didn't they?" she said as she entered.

"I'm afraid so."

"What are you going to do?"

"Just like I told her; I'm divorcing her."

"But they say nothing happened, it was just one of their jokes. Flo desperately wants to talk with you."

"My perception is that they did it and as far as I'm concerned that's reality. I'll be making an appointment with a divorce lawyer first thing Monday morning." I calmly told her.

"You're really mad aren't you? Can't you wait until you cool down before you do anything so drastic. You have almost 24 years invested in one another. Do you want to give that up without trying to make an attempt to salvage something?"

"I won't be cuckolded. I told Flo that many times and as far as I'm concerned she cuckolded me and now its over."

"But, they claim nothing happened. They just made noises as though it did happen."

I don't know it didn't happen. We're just taking their word for it. Everything was in place so that it could happen and they have no way of proving it didn't happen. So, I have to go with my perception that it did happen. She totally disrespected me." "Can't you let it ride and go to counseling? Flo is a basket case over this."

"I warned her the last time about doing this kind of thing and she didn't listen. I'm done talking. We'll just let the lawyers work it out. If you're happy with Roger's part in this then you can go on living with him but count me out. Just tell Roger he'd better make sure he stays a long way from me in the future."

"I haven't decided what to do about Roger yet, but I really hate to see you guys break up over this. Roger is very contrite about the whole thing and wants me to give you his sincere apologies."

"Make sure he understands our friendship is over. As much as I'd like to stay friends with you, Alice, I think it would be better we not meet again as long as you stay with him."

Is there anything I can tell Flo that might give her some hope that you will forgive her."

"If she can prove to me that she didn't have sex with Roger, I'll consider it and I'm not taking Roger's word or hers that nothing happened and it was just a joke. I perceive it happened and therefore it happened."

"OK Jim, I'll tell her. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too Alice. Now let me load her stuff in your car and you can take them to her. I assume she's still at your place."

"She's moving over to her sister's place this afternoon."

Her sister lived on the other side of town. She was a widow and lived alone so there would be room for Flo, probably indefinitely.

After loading the bags of Flo's stuff in Alice's car I waved as she left then went back in the house. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The first thing I did was to go and look up the number for a locksmith to have the locks changed on the house. I suddenly realized that if he left to go to work on Monday and Flo returned to the house and changed the locks I'd be out in the cold. I made arrangements to have the locks changed that afternoon and then pulled the plug on the phone and left my s cell turned off..

I spent the day doing jobs around the house until the locksmith came. After he left I got in my car and headed to the local supermarket where I picked up a selection of frozen dinners to carry me for a week or so then went back to my lonely house. I really missed Flo after almost 24 years together, but I couldn't get over my anger at her and what she and Roger had done to me.

That evening about 7:30 I was watching TV when the door bell rang. Looking out the window I saw Flo's sister, Mary, standing at the front door.

"Hi Mary." was my greeting as I opened the door to let her in.

"Hello Jim. Can I take a few minutes of your time?"

"Sure Mary, I don't have an argument with you. Come in."

We went into the living room and she sat down and I sat in a chair and I asked if she'd like something to drink.

"A Coke would be fine."

I got her one and one for myself and returned to the living room.

"I suppose you know what this is about." she said after taking a sip of her drink.

"Yes. Are you going to be asking me to take her back? If you are you've made a trip for nothing."


A Joke



"No, she told me all about it. How are your wrists?"

"They're scabbing over now and should be OK. I don't see any sign of infection."

"Flo will be glad to hear that. She's just about ready for a nervous breakdown you know; especially since you won't talk to her and that's why I'm here. To carry a message. Rather, more than one message."

"I'll listen to your messages but I don't promise anything in return."

"The first is that she loves you very much and is so sorry for what she did."

"OK, anything else?"

"She wants you to know that she is willing to take a lie detector test to prove that she isn't lying when she says nothing happened with Roger or ever has with Roger or anyone else. That is the only proof she can offer you."

This was a new wrinkle I hadn't thought of and I gave it a few minutes thought as Mary watched me intently while continuing to sip her Coke.

"That sounds OK to me but I want to place some conditions on it. One, results proving she didn't have sex with Roger doesn't mean I will take her back. Two, Roger will have to take the same test and the results of his test will have to agree with hers. Three, I want approval on who administers the tests and the questions and four, I will not pay for the tests."

"That sounds reasonable to me Jim, but can't you be more positive about taking her back if the test results show they aren't lying?" 

"No, she hurt me deeply and even if I took her back it will be a long time before I forgive her."

"Alright Jim. I'll give her your conditions. I'm really sorry about this. I wanted to tear into her for her stupidity when she showed up at my place this afternoon, but she was such a pathetic sight that I don't believe anything I could say would make her feel any worse. She knows that she has done a very stupid thing and has also done you a terrible wrong. I'll have to give her some pills to get her to sleep tonight. I also want to tell you that she called your kids and told them what she did. I think they were a little put out at her as she hasn't stopped crying since she talked with them. Well, I'd better get back and give your message. Thanks for the Coke."

"OK Mary. Thanks for coming all the way over here. I appreciate your concern."

After she left I sat down to think about the situation. Some of my initial ire had cooled and I was now able to think clearer about what I wanted. I decided to get a drink first and went into the den, where my liquor cabinet was, and poured a tumbler half full with scotch and then went to the kitchen to add an ice cube. Without returning to my seat I wandered about the house looking at all the things that were memories of our married life together. Did I really want to end this? I was awakened from my reverie and reminiscing by the door bell ringing. Checking out the window I saw our daughter, Patty, standing at the front door looking decidedly unhappy.

Oh, oh I thought. She's just found the locks have been changed and her key didn't work. Opening the door Patty immediately came inside giving me a dirty look.

"What's with the locks dad and why aren't you answering your phone. I had to drive here 150 miles to find out what's going on."

"I'm sorry Patty, I didn't want to talk with your mother. I hear from your aunt Mary that she told you what she did."

"Yes, and I'm really mad at you for throwing her out just because of a joke. Can't you forgive her and let her come home? When she called me to let me know what she did she was a basket case. .

"Patty, it was more than just a joke and I'd warned her before that I didn't like the way she and our friend Roger were carrying on with their jokes, but she didn't listen."

"I couldn't get too much out of mom over the phone but I understand it was just a joke. What was so bad about it?"

I went on to relate what had happened. I started out by telling her about the necking joke they had pulled earlier and our discussions afterward. Then I told her about the fucking joke and pulled up my sleeves and showed her my wrists.

"Oh daddy, that's terrible. Was that when you threw her out?"

"Yes, they may have had intercourse. It sure sounded like they did, because I know the sounds your mother makes when she has an orgasm. Either that or they're very good actors. I perceive that they did and that's my reality until she can prove differently."

"I've asked your mother to take a lie detector test and to have Roger take one. If the test results agree I'll have to believe her, but she hurt me so badly that she thought I would have a big laugh and accept being a pseudo wimp, cuckold over their so-called joke. I still may be unable to live with her again."

"I'm real sorry about all this daddy. I hope you and mom can work this because I love you both in spite of what she did."

"I'm trying to accomplish that baby because I really miss your mother, but I still can't get over her disrespect for me."

"OK daddy, I guess I can't ask more than you try to get back with her. I'm going over to see mom now that I know what happened and see if I can get her calmed down. I'll probably spend the night at aunt Mary's and then I have to get back to school tomorrow. Please turn your phones back on so I can get a hold of you and I know Eric wants to talk with you too. I'll call him and let him know what this is all about. He's on that job upstate and has been trying to reach you after mom called him."

"OK baby, I'll turn to the phones back on as soon as you leave. Give me a hug." 

I took her in my arms and held her close. She was so much like her mother it was frightening sometimes and I loved her very much. She'd always been my baby.

"Bye daddy." she told me as she went out the door to her car. I waved as she pulled of the driveway and headed up the street. Then I returned to my lonely drink after turning the phones back on..

So that's my story. Maybe you can tell me what I should do if the lie detector tests say she's telling the truth as I expect they will.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

THE END



A Joke - Another Version



I have read Agena's original story- "A Joke" and his conclusion in "A Joke Ch. 2" many times now. Every time I read them I feel just as good about the story as the first time. With his kind permission and support, I have adapted his original story and I hope he enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed his original. I have tried to stay as true to the original version of his two stories as I could and as I have added I have changed as little as possible. I am grateful to Agena for allowing me to post my adaption of his work. If you dislike what I've written, be sure to blame me and not Agena for allowing me. 

You can see most of his original version of his very memorable story throughout this. If you haven't read them already, I recommend you read Agena's "A Joke" and "A Joke Ch. 2". If you haven't read all of his works in Literotica, I highly recommend them to you as well. 



A Joke - an alternative version.





"It was just a joke." she told me and he tried to back her up, but my perception of the whole episode was such that I couldn't believe her at the time. It was so real then and they didn't have any way of proving it hadn't happened or that maybe that it had happened for real before. If my perception was that they did it and I couldn't believe that it was just a joke then I couldn't live with my wife of 23 years anymore. I guess I'd better tell you the story so you can understand my dilemma at the time. 



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 



Flo, short for Florence, was my wife. I'm Jim. We'd met in college and had married soon after graduation. We lived a normal life as husband and wife, had kids, a house and a mortgage. Flo was a stay-at-home mom until the kids started school full time and then she resumed her career in real estate. Flo is an attractive woman and personally, I still think looks HOT. I'm sure she gets hit on occasionally while on the job, but as far as I know she'd remained faithful to me and our marriage. She has a ribald sense of humour sometimes and I think that's what eventually got our marriage into trouble. 



We had two children, a boy, Eric, and a girl, Patty. At the time this occurred Eric was 21 and had graduated from a vocational school after high school. He had his own apartment nearby and was working as a journeyman electrician. Patty was 19 and a sophomore at the state university about 150 miles away. With the kids away we should have been looking forward to a happy retirement down the road with time to travel and hopefully, grandchildren to dote over. 



Our sex life was what I thought was normal. We had a loving relationship honed and developed over our married life. When we were first married we had sex just about every night and during the day on weekends. As time progressed we were down to two or three times a week, which was enough to take away the urge for me and I thought it was the same for Flo. Over the years I'd learned all of Flo's buttons to push to get her to orgasm and when she came she made a peculiar keening sound to announce her release. It always gave me a thrill to know that I had satisfied her and the sound of her keening was what I strived for in our love making and not achieving my own pleasure. 



Just about every situation has a fly in the ointment and ours came along in the form of a new next door neighbour. Roger and his lovely wife, Alice, moved into the house next door about five years ago and we all quickly became best friends. The problem with Roger was that he was a practical joker and he loved to pull pranks on everyone he was associated with and much to my chagrin I was one of the favourite recipients for his fetish. Also, what bothered me even more was Flo's enjoyment of his pranks, especially if I was on the receiving end. I told her frequently I didn't like his jokes or her enjoyment and continual participation in them, but she wouldn't listen or back off until it nearly caused our divorce. I could take a joke but Roger's were beginning to hurt my pride. 



Over a period of time I'd picked up that Roger was attracted to Flo and I worried about his trying to get between her legs. Whenever we were together he and Flo laughed together at his, sometimes, raunchy jokes while Alice and I just smiled politely at their antics. Alice and I got on well and in fact sometimes it was almost like we were with the wrong partners. When we were out in public I know that Alice was as mortified as I was at some of the things they did. I remember one day at the beach Roger mooned some people in a passing boat and to my horror Flo followed suit. Alice and I were appalled at their indiscretion and chastised them to no avail as they laughed hysterically together. I didn't fail to notice that Roger took great delight in watching Flo bare her shapely ass. 



It was a short while before the end that I began to feel that things were getting out of hand. We were over at Roger and Alice's house and Alice and I were sitting in the back yard while Flo followed Roger into the house to help carry out the drinks. Alice and I talked for ages until we realized that Flo and Roger had been gone for quite a bit of time; in fact far too long, so we went inside to look for them. When we got into the kitchen we found it empty but just as we started the looking for them they came from the family room with their arms around one another, giggling and laughing. They stopped when they saw us. Roger had lipstick on his collar and around his mouth while Flo's lipstick appeared smeared and her hair dishevelled. Alice and I just stood there in shock with our mouths open. 



Roger had always been quick on a come-back in any situation and said as if it was nothing, "Oh, hi you guys. Sorry we're slow with the drinks, but I had to show Flo my etchings," apparently unconcerned at their appearance. Alice and I continued to stand there, still dumfounded at their apparent brazen boldness. 



Flo had a smirk on her face and was just as quick backing him saying, "Roger has some wonderful etchings; you know the ones I mean don't you Alice?" 



By this time I'd gathered my wits about me and finally spoke up. "What the hell is going on?" I questioned Flo. "How come Roger's got lipstick on his face and clothes and you look like you've been doing some necking?" "Oh, that's because I was so happy to see Roger's etchings. I must have gotten carried away. Do you mind, Honey?" she asked while trying to maintain a straight face. 



I was disgusted but thought I was beginning to catch on as I looked at their faces. Roger had the smirk on his face he develops when he pulls one of his pranks and Flo was looking away so I couldn't see but imagined how hard she was trying to keep from laughing. I could feel my irritation mounting. 



Alice wasn't tuned in yet to what was going on as she finally spoke up. "What the hell is going on Roger? If you think you're going to carry on with another woman in my house, you've got another thing coming." 



When Roger and Flo suddenly started to laugh uproariously I think Alice finally got the picture what was going on and she smiled sheepishly. However, I exploded at them. "One of these days you two are going to go too far and the shit'll hit the fan." 



"Oh lighten up honey. It's just a joke. If you could have seen the look on your faces you would think it was funny too." Flo told me while continuing to laugh. Thinking back, I should have made my stand then and told them exactly what I thought of their hurtful jokes then left immediately for home, with or without Flo. 



"C'mon you guys; let me get you a drink and we'll laugh about it together." Roger said as he headed back outside with Flo behind him, still laughing. Alice and I just shrugged our shoulders and followed after them while shaking our heads in disgust. We certainly didn't think it was funny and were not about to laugh. "One of these days Alice, they're going to go too far." I predicted again. "One of these times one of their jokes will back fire on them and someone's going to get hurt." Alice spoke in agreement. 



Their prank put a damper on the night for both Alice and I and the night ended earlier than usual. As we walked home I didn't hold Flo's hand as I have always done and she sensed my lingering anger. It had been a very painful joke and my pride was hurt as well. 



"Honey, I'm sorry," she told me. "I just get carried away sometimes. Nothing happened. I just smeared some of my lipstick on his face and collar and mussed up my hair. We thought you guys would never come into the house and finally just when we were almost going to skip the whole thing, you and Alice finally showed up. Are you still mad at me? It was just a joke." 





"I'm trying not to be Flo, but you've got to stop getting involved in Roger's pranks. I almost had a heart attack when I saw you looking like you had been making out with him. I honestly thought you had. You know how I feel about us being completely faithful to each other. Our marriage vows mean so much to me." 

"I know honey. I feel the same way and would never do anything to hurt you." 

"Well, please remember that." 

"OK, give me a big kiss and tell me you forgive me." We stopped and kissed for a moment and continued home. I realised I didn't tell her I forgave her but said nothing not knowing if she realized the potential damage she could have done to our marriage. 



When we got back to our place I think Flo realized I was still really pissed, especially about her voluntary participation in the prank and went to have a shower to give me more time to cool down. I thought it was odd she wanted another shower as we had both showered before we had gone next door but thought nothing of it. She must have been in there a long time as I was asleep when she finally slid into bed beside me but woke as she snuggled up beside me. I could feel her naked skin against me and knew she wanted to make love as her hand slipped into my boxers and started to stroke and handle my cock. 



When I was hard, Flo pulled the donah back and pulled my boxers off and straddled my hips then fed my cock into her pussy as she slowly lowered herself down on me. I could feel she was very wet and receptive to my cock as she slid it fully into her then started slow rhythmic movements as she raised and lowered herself and rolled her hips for her greater pleasure. This was a first for her after twenty-three years as I usually have to give her an orgasm or two orally before she was so wet. After so many years we were very attuned to each other and came together after what seemed like forever. We hadn't made such pleasurable love for a long time and it didn't occur to me at the time she was so randy. After we finished we rolled together on our sides and fell asleep holding each other. 



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 



A couple of weeks later we were invited back to Roger and Alice for a bar-b-cue on a Saturday evening, but just as we finished eating a call came in just after Roger went to the kitchen for some more wine. It wasn't until later I found out that he called the home phone from his cell phone and he pretended to take the call for Alice. Alice worked at the local hospital as an emergency room nurse. 



After he hung up the house phone he came back into the dining room and said to Alice, "That was the emergency room. There's been a bad automobile accident and several people injured. They want you to come in right away." 



"Oh shit, I'll change and get going. Sorry guys; I have to go. I'll get back as soon as I can." 



Ten minutes later Alice was in her uniform and was heading to the hospital. After she was gone Roger turned to me and asked if I would help him with a project in his basement while I was there. Flo was quiet during this time and facing away from me. I didn't think anything about it at the time but later I remembered. 



"Sure. What can I do?" I asked as I stood up to follow him to the basement.  "I want you to hold something for me while I attach it to the ceiling. It's not too heavy but I can't hold it up there and attach it at the same time and Alice is too short to hold it." 

"Okay, it sounds easy." 

"Trust me, it is and it'll only take a minute." 



When we got down stairs he took me over to a metal support post for the floor above was installed next to the furnace. He took a small metal box with a power cord dangling from it off his work bench and held it up to the ceiling between the support pipe and the furnace. I noticed that Flo had followed us downstairs and was standing watching us with a smile on her face. Again, I didn't place any significance to her being there or the strange smile. Why should I? 



"Now, I want you to hold this here while I attach it." Roger told me. "What the heck is it Roger?" I asked as I raised my arms to hold the box. Since Roger was standing between the pipe and the furnace it necessitated that I place my hands around the pipe to hold it against the basement ceiling. 

"I'll show you in a minute, but first let me get my tools." 



He disappeared behind me to his work bench leaving me holding up the box. Within a second or two he was back and I didn't see what he had in his hand until I heard two quick clicks as something hard and metallic gripped my wrists. Suddenly, I realized that I'd been suckered and I was handcuffed around the pipe. I turned my head in shock to look as Roger went over to Flo and put his arm around her waist as they stood looking at me. 



My mind was in turmoil but I managed to speak, "What the hell is this Roger? Get these damn handcuffs off me now! Roger; what the fuck do you think you are doing? Let me go now!"  "Well buddy, you know I can't do that. You remember don't you that two weeks ago Flo said she liked my etchings so much that she wants to see them again but we don't want you or Alice around to disturb us this time," as he squeezed Flo and she squealed. 



Then he and Flo turned and proceeded back up the cellar steps. Flo was undulating her hips in an exaggerated manner as she moved. "Let me loose, damn it! You're going too far this time Roger and you're going to regret it if you don't let me loose right now." 



"Just be cool for a little while honey, I just want to umm... look at some etchings." Flo said as they neared the door. I called out to Flo as she went through the door, "Flo, please don't do this. Flo please? Flo, don't........." I know she heard me because she turned and looked at me briefly; but then she was gone as they disappeared from view laughing and giggling.



As I struggled with the cuffs, trying to see if there was some way I could get free, I realized the hopelessness of my situation. The pipe was imbedded in the concrete floor at the bottom and bolted in place against a steel beam at the top. Maybe I could break the chain on the cuffs? 



Listening, I could hear them move into the master bedroom right above me then remembered the previous owners had make some alterations with the heating system and for some reason every sound in the room could be heard in the basement. It occurred to me much later that Roger must have known this and told Flo. I was supposed to hear everything. I heard Flo's excited giggles then shoes dropped to the carpet above me and I heard her exclaim, "Oh, that's a nice big one; bigger than Jim's!" 

"Hurry and get those panties and bra off Flo. I want you bad." 



My rage was mounting by the minute as I continued to struggle mindlessly against the handcuffs. With all my might I kept slamming the chain on the handcuffs against the steel pipe either hoping the chain would break or I could somehow loosen the pipe. The pain in my wrists was outweighed by the hurt I was feeling in my chest as I continuously threw myself back using my bodyweight to break the chain to no avail. I could feel the warmth of my blood on my forearms and hands now but I couldn't allow them to keep fucking and destroy me. She was my life. Somehow I had to get free and stop them. I was possessed and kept throwing myself back from the pole and I called out to Flo over and over again using it to try to mask the pain but I couldn't believe she didn't hear me. When I did stop calling out to her I could hear them like they were next to me. 

"C'mon, put that big thing in me. I want to be stretched out for a change." 

"Damn Flo, you're one sexy piece. Let me slide it in you." 

"Oh god, that feels good. Push it in further and fuck me hard, Roger. That's it, that's it. It feels so good." 



I heard the bed beginning to creak above me and I could picture them fucking. I was cursing and swearing at the cuffs as well as my adulterous spouse and her lover over my head. My wrists were scraped raw and deep cuts had appeared in my wrists as I bled while continuing to jerk and twist against the cuffs. My mind was a maelstrom of emotion as I heard Roger grunting and Flo moaning in rhythm. 



Suddenly, Roger cried out, "I'm cumming!! I'm cumming!!" Then I heard Flo start to keen just like she did when I got her off. Then all was quiet above for a few minutes. I had ceased struggling and was just sitting on the hard bloodied cement floor with my arms still around the pipe. I felt a terrible sadness in my heart as I heard Flo exclaim finally, "Oh, that was really good Roger. I'm going to have to see your etchings again sometime soon. I suppose we should get dressed and go down and see how Jim is doing. It made it so exciting for me knowing he saw us go off together." 



She must have known then that I heard everything. "OK Flo, I need to rest a minute but Alice should be getting back soon from that false call I sent her on and I don't want her to see me in bed with you. Remember she got shitty when she thought we had just necked a few weeks ago. We would have been toast if she had caught us." 



I was totally devastated with what I had heard. A few minutes later I heard footsteps on the basement stairs but didn't look up as they came over to where I sat cuffed. "Oh shit!" I heard Roger say. "Look at his wrists. They're all bloody. Fuck, look at his clothes and the floor!" 



"Oh my god! Honey, it was just a joke! Nothing happened! Oh god no! I'm so sorry. Hurry up Roger! Unlock the cuffs! Oh god! Oh no! I never thought he'd take it this hard. Not like this! Why did we do it?" 



I could barely feel the pain in my wrists as the pain in my chest was much worse from what they had just done. I looked up at them with tears streaming down my face as Roger fumbled with the key in the cuffs. His hands were shaking and now were covered in my blood as he struggled unsuccessfully several times to unlock them. 



"Roger, you had better give Flo that key before you unlock me and then start running. When I get free I'm going to make you sorry the day you were born. I'm gonna kill you for fucking my wife and for destroying my marriage!" 



Roger looked in my face and saw the deep and absolute hatred in my eyes and silently handed the key to Flo. He started to say, "We didn't do.......It was just....." but stopped and began to quickly move to the basement steps with a fearful look at me as Flo began to unlock the cuffs. As she finally got them unlocked, I heard Roger's truck start and the screech of tires as he took off. 



Standing, I looked down at Flo still kneeling on the floor and she had a look of fear on her face and her eyes were full of tears. I was hurting worse than I had ever been hurt before and I wanted her to feel some of my pain. I wanted her to understand how much she had hurt me but all that came out of my mouth was, "You fucking heartless bitch; you'd better find another place to sleep tonight, in fact find one forever. I never want to see you again. Go and live with your sister or something!" I couldn't stop myself; it wasn't what I really wanted to say. 




A Joke - Another Version



Tears were streaming down her face now as she began to realize the enormity of the hurt she had caused me and what I had just said about our future or total lack of. I had never sworn or raised my voice at her before. 

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. It was just a joke. We didn't do anything. I love you so much. It was nothing." 



"You lying fucking bitch; I know what I heard and I never want to hear any bullshit again about it being a joke. As far as I'm concerned you fucked him and that's all that counts. You committed adultery and deliberately cuckolded me. I'm scared to think how long you two have been planning to destroy me like this or even how many times you have fucked him before; maybe even two weeks ago. I fucking hate you for helping him set me up. It's bad enough that you fucked him but how could you fuck him knowing I could hear you while I was handcuffed right below you? Fuck you! You can go to hell! I heard every grunt and every fucking moan you made! That wasn't nothing I heard! You can expect to hear from my lawyers in a few days. We're fucking through. Both of you can fuck yourselves stupid as far as I am concerned!" I shouted as I turned and headed up the stairs. 



"No Jim! Please, nothing happened! Nothing happened Jim; please stop! We've never fucked!" she wailed at me from the basement floor. "Jim, we didn't do anything Jim! We only pretended. Please stop! Jim please!" She screamed, "Jim, I love you! Please stop!" It was her turn to plead. I was so angry; so hurt and I didn't believe her after what I had heard. 



I didn't respond as I headed out the front door leaving a trail of blood through the house and down the path as I left. Just as I was approaching the footpath a very mad Alice swung into their driveway. 



"Where the hell is that shit-for-brains husband of mine? There was no accident and I wasn't needed at the ER." she ranted as she got out of the car. Suddenly she noticed my wrists and the trail of blood leading back to the house. 

"Jim! What happened to you? Oh god, look at your wrists. Let me get them bandaged for you." 

"Roger and Flo; in there, Alice. This time they went too far and I'm divorcing Flo." 

"Good god Jim, what did they do to you? Jim, wait! Let me help you please?" 

"You can hear it from Flo and Roger. I can't stay in your house any longer and I'll never step back in there again after what they did to me. Alice, they cuckolded me. I'm going home and I'll do my own bandaging when I get there. You can tell my ex-wife she'll find her clothes and things on the front porch tomorrow. If she wants to get in our house again she'd better have a court order. You make sure she stays completely away from me." 

"Oh god, what's been happening here? What did they do?" A shocked and distraught Alice cried out as she hurried into the house trying to avoid the blood. 



Still seething inside, I headed home. As I walked I still felt blood flowing down my hands from the deep cuts in my wrists and dripping onto the ground. I had hurt myself much worse than I had thought. My hatred for what they had done and the complete disregard they had shown to me was burning me up inside. I had some ideas on what I needed to do. I wanted serious pay-back; I wanted them to hurt and I wanted a divorce for her cuckolding me. 



Upon arriving home I grabbed my digital camera and using the timer carefully took several photos of my wrists making sure the wounds looked reasonably severe. Maybe they were severe as they still were dripping blood. My blood was everywhere on the floor as I locked up, bolting the doors from the inside and leaving through the garage knowing Flo didn't have a remote control to open the door. In case I ended up divorcing her, I wanted some official medical record of my injuries trying to free myself so I was going to the hospital to get my wounds dressed. 



When I reached the hospital, blood was still oozing from my wrists and my arms and clothes looked a mess; certainly much worse than they may have been. But it was ten out of ten for appearances. I recognised the nurse at reception from church at the same time she recognized me and I approached her staggering the last few yards. My bloodied arms landed across the reception desk leaving another bloody mess for someone to clean up. I would have plenty to clean up when I got home; or maybe I should leave it for Flo if I took her back; that sounded fair to me. She looked down at my arms and the blood everywhere then screamed for assistance. As she helped me into a wheelchair she asked what happened. I looked up at her forlornly and told her she would have to ask Flo. I knew that the whole congregation at church would know I was in hospital from something Flo had done by the end of Mass tomorrow. They would all be asking Flo what happened when they saw her; I knew Flo never missed Sunday Mass. I hoped she'd somehow get there tomorrow; it was only a short walk. I got a strange look when I told her she wasn't to phone Flo to tell her I was there. She saw the seriousness in my expression and looked shocked but agreed. 



They cleaned my wounds and I ended up with stitches; I hadn't expected that but the cuts and lacerations were very deep. I wanted to go home but they insisted I stay overnight under observation as they were not sure how much blood I had lost. A couple of nurses helped wash me down and get me into a hospital gown as my hands were next to useless due to the heavy bandaging and I would have them re-bandage me in the morning so I could drive home. Having a piss with a strange woman holding my cock in a bottle was a new experience. 



I was resting thinking over the night's events and wondering if I had overreacted if it had really been a grubby practical joke but I knew what I had heard; it sounded so real to me. I was still bloody angry with them when a policeman entered my room. He introduced himself as Sgt James Bell and said the hospital had called him regarding my injuries and he was here to follow it up. I told him I wasn't sure if there had been a crime as such committed but he asked for my story anyway. He sat and listened as he jotted down in his notebook what I said. I was sure he would have been secretly recording it anyway. 



When I had finished he looked at me and told me that on the face of it, changes could be laid for the use of the handcuffs if I chose to file a complaint. I told him I was unsure and he seemed ok with that but then he asked if I minded if he contacted me soon regarding my decision. This was turning out better than I could ever have expected. 

I had a very restless night. When I was awake I kept thinking about how they had cuckolded me and what I had heard. How could my best friend and my life partner do that to me? It was just as bad when I slept as I had nightmares about Roger fucking Flo in front of me as I bled to death while I was still handcuffed to the pipe. I woke at dawn and told the nurses if they didn't release me I was leaving anyway and by the time they had re-dressed my wounds it was the end of the night shift as I left. I saw Alice arriving for work and it was obvious she hadn't slept either as she looked like shit. 



Alice obviously wasn't expecting to see me and by the time she recognised me too late I was past her. Her jaw dropped when she saw the extensive bandaging on my wrists and all the blood covering my clothes. I had a few seconds as the enormity of my injuries sunk into her so I ducked behind an ambulance and was gone from sight before she could catch up to me. I watched her make three phone calls before looking around again then heading inside for her shift. Any guesses who she phoned? I was sure I was one but my phone was turned off. I couldn't have timed my exit any better if I had planned it. 



When I got home I was still angry and I methodically began to bag Flo's cloths, makeup and other personal items in plastic yard bags and put it out on the front porch. The house phone was ringing non-stop as I worked but I refused to answer it or even to check caller ID. I remembered I had turned off my cell phone last night and switched it back on. I had over 50 messages waiting for me. Some were advising me I had missed calls, but most were messages left from Flo, Alice and Roger but mainly Flo. 



I still loved Flo so much and wanted to hear her voice again so I played one of her messages. She was crying and telling me she loved me so much and that nothing had happened. She would do anything for me to forgive her. She added that she was too scared to come home and she was worried about me. Then I listened to the most recent messages she had left after I was sure Alice had phoned her. Flo sounded hysterical asking how I was and saying that Alice had seen me leaving the hospital with my wrists heavily bandaged and my clothes bloodied. I deleted them all. I still loved her so much it hurt and I was trying so hard to believe her. I wanted to trust her but what I heard sounded so very real to me. It was all still very painful and I was suffering so badly. 



The next thing I did was to go and look up the number for a locksmith to have the locks changed on the house. I realized that if I left to go to work or the lawyers on Monday and Flo returned to the house and changed the locks I'd be out in the cold so I made arrangements to have the locks changed as soon as he could. I knew it would cost more on a Sunday but I didn't care. My demons were thinking for me again. 



It had taken me a good part of the morning to pack all of Flo's possessions up in bags and I didn't stop until the locksmith arrived and changed the locks for me. I looked over at my neighbour's house from time to time and was sure I could see someone at the window watching. I found I was still angry after the locksmith left and I was placing the last bag of Flo's next to the porch when a police car pulled up to the kerb. The Sergeant from last night alighted and walked to me. As we spoke I noticed Roger arriving home and watching from his driveway. I initially pretended not to see him but I noticed his jaw dropped when he realized I was now talking with the police and pointing to his house. Then I pointed at Roger as we both looked at him; the look on his face was priceless. I asked the sergeant to follow me in as I offered him a coffee while we discussed if I wanted to file a complaint.



We spoke at length about the incident the previous night and my love for my wife as we drank our coffee. He told me he had let his wife go after an incident a while ago and how he missed her so much. I really felt for him as he told me of his lose and his never ending loneliness. He saw her from time to time and was trying to rebuild their relationship. He asked what I was going to do now and I told him how much I was hurting about being cuckolded either for real or in my mind. I told him of my love for my life partner, the woman I had never wanted to lose. Then I told him of my pain. 



He looked at me then smiled then asked if I wanted some payback if it had really just been a joke. He went on to say he would be happy to visit them and get their statements (unofficially of course unless I filed a complaint) making them believe there could be some serious jail time involved as they had "unlawfully detained" me. It sounded good to me so I agreed and we laughed for the first time. I confirmed Roger and Alice's address as he wrote it down and gave him Mary's address in case Flo had already gone there. He told me he would even record their responses and discomfort during his interviews with them and their realization that they had gone too far and could end up in prison. I downloaded the photos of my bleeding wrists and gave him copies to add some weight to his "investigation" with them. 



After seeing the good sergeant off I noticed Roger's truck was gone again and as soon as I shut the door the phone rang again. I noticed the caller ID said it was Alice's cell phone so I picked up the receiver and greeted her suspecting it would be something to do with the policeman at my house and Roger seeing him speaking with me. 



It was Alice and she sounded worried. She commenced telling me she had Roger with her at work and he was as white as a ghost from seeing me with the police. I thought he would have sped there when I realized he was gone. She asked why I didn't stop and talk with her earlier when she saw me then went on to tell me she had phoned Flo after she had seen me heavily bandaged leaving the hospital. She said that Flo wouldn't talk to Roger again and things had been very difficult all night. They had wanted to come over last night after Flo had told her what they had done and talk about it but saw my lights were out and they thought I was asleep. Alice continued and told me that since then, Flo had phoned her to tell her that she had been told at church by everyone she spoke to that I had been admitted to hospital overnight and she was frantic. When Alice had seen me leaving the hospital they had just assumed I had gone there for a tetanus shot. She added that Flo had walked to church and had hoped to meet up with me and have our priest help settle our problem, but I wasn't there for the first time in many years and everyone was asking her embarrassing questions. She felt so alone and so humiliated not knowing anything and being told where I had spent the night. She was worried what sort of wife they all thought she was as they wondered what she had done. Even our priest knew of my hospital stay and had tried to phone me without success. Flo thought I had just gone home and gone to bed after I dressed my wounds myself. 



If by chance it was just a joke, I wanted to let Alice in on what was happening because she had no part in it, but I couldn't be sure she wouldn't say something and I still wanted Roger and Flo to feel some pain as well. I told Alice that I hadn't called the police. The hospital had phoned them due to the nature of my injuries and now they were interested in Roger and Flo for detaining me illegally and they should expect the police around to get statements from the three of them. I explained then that the police would then decide if charges would be laid.



There was silence for a minute but I could hear her whispering to Roger what I had just told her. I heard him cry out then Alice spoke again asking if I could stop the police following it up. I told her that I hadn't filed any complaint yet but the police had my statement and a report from the hospital and that might be enough for them to continue. I didn't want to hurt Alice and I was worried she could end up being collateral damage if I wasn't careful. I knew then I would have to tell her and asked her to call in to see me either that night on her way home or tomorrow after I got back from my lawyers but make sure shithead wasn't with her. She asked if I was really serious about seeing my lawyers and I told her I was. She then asked how I was and if I needed anything and I thanked her and told her changing the bandages was challenging and I was in a lot of pain but I was hurting more from their actions. I knew she would pass that on to Flo and Roger and make them feel worse. 



Alice went on to tell me she trusted them and believed that it had just been another joke gone too far. She asked about my plans and pleaded for me to at least speak with Flo before she had a breakdown. I told her I wasn't ready to get even close enough to speak with either Flo or Roger and if either came near me I would leave town and disappear from their lives forever. My demons were ruling my life and making me forget how much I loved my wife. All I wanted to do was hurt the people who caused me pain. Alice didn't call in that night. 



After the call, I got in my car and headed to the local supermarket where I picked up a selection of frozen dinners to carry me for a week or so, then went back to my lonely house. I really missed Flo so much after almost 24 years together, but I couldn't get over my anger at her and what she and Roger had done to me. When I finished for the day I locked up, undressed and lay on the bed. Even though I was emotionally and physically tired I couldn't get to sleep for a long time. 



When I awoke in the morning the phone was ringing again but I refused to acknowledge it. I got up, showered and had breakfast then replaced my wrist bandages as best I could then rang my boss and told him I had injured my wrists and needed the week off. After he finally agreed, I left to speak with my lawyers and start to extract more revenge. I knew within hours of my visit there, that Flo would have heard that I had been, as a close friend of her sisters worked as a receptionist there so I was forced to proceed the way I did. 



About three o'clock the doorbell rang and I looked out to see Alice standing at the door in her nurse's uniform with a bag of bandages in her hand and after opening the door, I motioned her inside. 

"Well, they really did it this time, didn't they?" she said as she entered. 

"I'm afraid so." 

"What are you going to do? Are you still going ahead with what you said?" she asked as she led me to the kitchen table and removed my bandages. 



Deep down I knew it was just my anger still talking for me. My mind was telling me I loved Flo but my demons were still in charge. "Just like I told her; I'm divorcing her," I answered as I winced in pain as she accidently brushed against the stitches. 



"But they say nothing happened, it was just one of their jokes, be it a very tasteless one. Flo desperately wants to talk with you," she responded as she commenced redressing my wounds. Her touch was so gentle. 

"Alice, I heard them doing it and as far as I'm concerned that's reality. I have already spoken to my lawyers and they agree. I went earlier today and they are preparing the papers," I calmly told her. 

"You're still really angry aren't you? Can't you wait until you cool down before you do anything so drastic? You have almost 24 years invested in one another. Do you want to give that up without trying to make an attempt to salvage something?" 

"I won't be cuckolded! I told Flo that many times and she did it to me in the worst way possible and now it could be all over." I didn't tell her that my lawyer had been instructed not to serve her but to wait for further instructions. 

"But, they claim nothing happened. They just made noises as though it did happen." 

"I can't be certain it didn't happen, Alice. They are expecting us to take their word for it as any lovers would. Everything was in place so that it could happen and they have no way of proving it didn't. So, I have to go with my perception that it did. In any case, she totally disrespected me as well as our marriage vows, Alice." 

"Can't you let it ride and go to counselling? Flo is a basket case over this," she queried as she finished with the bandages.



"No, I wasn't the one that did wrong! I warned her the last time about doing this kind of thing and she didn't listen. I'm even wondering if they fucked the night they played their necking joke on us; they were gone far too long. I'm done talking! It could be that we just let the lawyers work it out. If you're happy with Roger's part in this then you can go on living with him. Just tell Shithead he'd better make sure he stays a long way from me in the future." 



"I haven't entirely decided what to do about Roger yet Jim, but I really hate to see you guys break up over this. Roger is very contrite about the whole thing and wants me to give you his sincere apology. You know he is really concerned about the police being involved now? We all are. More than you know." 



"Alice, he can shove his apology up his ass! It is not worth shit as far as I am concerned! Not after what he did to me. Alice, I was supposed to be his friend! You make sure you tell him that too please. Make sure he understands our friendship is over, it's finished! In any case he has been deliberately hurting me with Flo's support for ages now. As much as I'd like to stay friends with you, I think it would be better we limit our contact until we are through this, one way or the other." 




A Joke - Another Version



"I didn't realize his jokes were getting to you Jim. Is there anything I can tell Flo that might give her some hope that you will forgive her?" 



Of course I knew I still loved Flo and wanted her back so how could I be saying what I was. "You are kidding aren't you? Forgive her for what she did? Maybe if she can prove to me that she didn't have sex with Roger, I'll consider it and I'm definitely not taking Roger's word or hers that nothing happened and it was just a tasteless joke. As far as I am concerned it really happened. If I had any inkling that it was just a joke and they weren't really fucking I certainly wouldn't have done this to my wrists would I?" 

"You honestly believed they were fucking then?" 

"Alice, I told you; I heard everything. I even heard them cumming. I honestly believed they fucked as much as I believe you are sitting in front of me now." 

"Jim, I'm so sorry that they did that to you. I'll tell her and you know I'll miss you and our long conversations." 

"I'll miss you too Alice. Now let me load her stuff in your car and you can take it to her. Maybe I just should just have thrown her stuff over the fence but I didn't know if she was still at your place or has she moved to her sisters already." 



"She's moving over to her sister's place this afternoon after I get her gear. You will be pleased to know that Roger was too scared to come home last night in case you were waiting for him with a baseball bat or something. Jim, I stayed up next her all last night in case she did something silly and harmed herself as she was really distressed. She spent all night crying and looking out the window at your house. We thought you were home in bed and didn't know you were admitted to hospital. I didn't tell you, but sometime after midnight when I realized Flo wasn't about to go to sleep we finally came over and tried to get in to make sure you were all right, but the doors were all bolted from the inside. It made Flo worse when she saw all the blood at the front door and on the ground on the way over and back. I wondered why you didn't hear her crying; I'm sure all the neighbours heard her. Jim, we should have been up at the hospital with you." 



"Alice, I was angry and they had totally destroyed my pride and self- worth. I wanted to be alone and completely away from her. Alice, I still cannot even begin comprehend how they could have done that to me, even if it was just a bad joke," I answered. 



"Well, let me tell you that Flo is completely devastated because of what she has done to you. The combination of finding you bleeding and whatever you said to her in the basement then finding out publicly at church that you refused to allow the hospital to contact her when they admitted you has had a terrible impact on her." 



As we loaded the bags of Flo's gear in Alice's car I told her that I would try to stop the police charging them so long as she didn't tell Roger or Flo I was stopping them. I told her I wanted them to think the investigation was ongoing. She looked at me for a moment then told me they were hurting enough but promised to say nothing. Her husband had lost his best friend and Flo looked like losing me. She said that I needed to be careful I didn't turn out as bad as them. I waved as she left my driveway then turned into hers then I went back in the house and thought seriously about what she had said. It was true and now I had to make sure I didn't. I was sure I saw Flo standing at a window watching me.



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 



That evening about 7:30 I was watching TV when the door-bell rang. Looking out the window I saw Flo's sister, Mary, standing at the front door. Her sister lived on the other side of town. Mary was a widow and lived alone so there would be room for Flo, probably indefinitely if needed. If Flo hadn't somewhere safe to go it didn't matter how angry I was, I knew I would have let her stay at our house and I would have left. 

"Hi Mary." was my greeting as I opened the door to let her in. 

"Hello Jim. Can I take a few minutes of your time?" 

"Sure Mary, I don't have an argument with you. Come in." 

We went into the living room and she sat down and I sat in a chair across from her and I asked if she'd like something to drink. 

"A Coke would be nice." 

I got her one and one for myself and returned to the living room. 

"I suppose you know what this is about." she said after taking a sip of her drink. 

"Sure. Are you going to be asking me to take her back? If you are, you've made a trip for nothing and you may as well leave." My angry demons were back. 

"Well, I won't ask that then will I? Jim, she told me all about what they did. How are your wrists?" 

"They're scabbing over now a bit now and should be OK I hope. I don't see any sign of infection. And all going well, the stitches will come out in out the end of the week I'm told. They still hurt like hell and the bruising is coming out now as well. They look terrible, in fact worse now if anything." 

"Flo will be glad to hear they're healing. She's just about ready for a nervous breakdown you know; especially since you won't talk to her and refuse to let her come home. That's why I'm here; to carry a message. Rather, more than one message." 

"I'll listen to your messages but I don't promise anything in return." 

"The first is that she loves you very much and is so very sorry for what she did." 

"OK, I heard all that on my phone messages before I deleted them. Anything else? "I answered coldly. 



Mary looked a little deflated when I said that but responded, "She wants you to know that she is willing to do anything; absolutely anything at all Jim to prove to you that nothing happened between her and Roger. Jim, she is desperate. She is hurting and she loves you so much. I am starting to worry about her health." 



"Mary, ask her if she loved me so much why did it to me; why did she want to hurt me so much. Mary, ask her why she didn't stop the whole thing when I pleaded with her not to go with him. Mary, she just turned to look at me and smiled, then went off with him holding each other. That destroyed me. How can she prove that nothing happened? I know what I heard and they can't disprove they didn't do it for real. I could hear them like they were right next to me and I could see them fucking in my mind as they were doing it. I know he's been lusting after her for ages and now he has fucked her. To me it sounded like they were really fucking and she enjoyed every minute of it; I heard her moaning and cumming. Tell me how can she say I didn't hear what I heard? Mary, I have spent hours thinking about this. I even thought she could get a rape kit and get tested to see if she had his cum in her but it too late for that now. Maybe if I had thought of it when it happened I might have believed her." 

"Oh Jim, I'm so sorry to hear she did that to you. I didn't know that happened. You honestly believe she did fuck him, don't you?" 



"Mary, I told you. I know what I heard. I desperately want her to prove to me she didn't but it's too late now and maybe too late for us. And how can I forgive her for setting me up like that, then cuckolding me? Mary, I loved her so much and I had always planned to spend the rest of my life with her, but after what she did to me, I don't know. It doesn't look all that hopeful to me anymore. They did it knowing I could hear everything and they handcuffed me to a pipe so I couldn't stop them doing it. She deliberately cuckolded me!" 

"Jim, can't you just trust her and forgive her stupidity in being involved in such a hurtful joke?" 

"I'm sorry Mary; it certainly wasn't a joke to me. I can't believe or trust her until she can prove that she and Roger didn't fuck. But trusting her again will take a long time." 



"I'm so sorry, Jim. I don't know how they can prove that now. Can I get back to you if I can think of something please? And Jim, she has heard from my friend that you have been to see your lawyers about divorcing her. She has been hysterical all afternoon since then. I'm only here because she finally cried herself to sleep. You will totally destroy her and yourself if you go ahead with that. I have seen you too together; you were meant for each other. Please wait? Please give me a few days before you have her served?" 

"Ok Mary, I'll wait till I hear from you. Is that all you wanted to say? And don't forget to ask her those questions." 

"Thank-you for seeing me, Jim. I promise I will get back to you this week. Bye." And she left. 



Sergeant Bell came around the next afternoon as promised after he had collected the three statements about the event; he had recorded the visits as he said he would. Initially I thought I would enjoy hearing them suffer but strangely I kept hearing Alice's words of warning in my head. I listened to Roger's shaking voice and how he sounded close to tears. Flo was hysterical and it was only the intervention of Mary giving her a very strong sedative she had kept since her husband's tragic and sudden death that she eventually calmed down and gave her statement. Alice stayed true to her word and had not told either of them. I didn't enjoy what I had just done to three people I used to love and I think Sgt Bell knew how I was feeling. I read their statements as he told me theirs supported mine apart from their not having sex in the room above my head. I thanked him for his efforts and he made me promise to think about how lonely life can be without the one you love. I should have been happy about what I had done to them but realized I was starting to feel quite the opposite. 



I knew I would hear from Alice again very soon after what I had heard and I wasn't wrong. I was in the yard when Alice came home from work and parked in her driveway and walked over to me. She was crying and her makeup looked a mess and as she approached I went to greet her and gave her my handkerchief for her tears. I took her hand and led her to the patio and sat her down while I went for some cold drinks. 



When I returned she turned to me and said, "Jim, the policeman came and took our statements. He had already seen Flo and taken hers. I phoned Mary afterwards and she told me Flo was so scared when the police showed up at her door. They never thought it could get so out of hand like it has. I know you hate Roger now for what he has done but he was scared shitless by the police visit. He has never even had so much as a parking ticket and now there is this mess. The policeman took photos of where you were handcuffed and he made Roger show him how you were held captive. He bagged the handcuffs and showed us the photos of your wrists before you were cleaned up. They both had told me they hadn't thought you would react like you did and never expected this result. Jim, it stopped being funny to them when they saw your wrists that night." 

"Mary, it should have stopped being funny when she heard me pleading for her not to go with him. They both heard my pleading but they kept going. So am I now." 



"I'm sorry Jim, I didn't realize you were losing so much blood and would never have let you leave if I had. Poor Roger was shaking the whole time and I doubt he will ever play another practical joke, particularly after he was told that if charges are laid he will need a good lawyer as jail time could be involved if he was found guilty. You can still stop any charges can't you Jim? Please? Jail would destroy Roger......." I interrupted her and coldly said, "Like he has destroyed me Alice? Destroyed my marriage and destroyed my life? That seems fair." Alice looked shocked, then continued, "Jim, please don't do this to us; to me." Alice burst into tears again as she continued. "Jim, please, I have no one else, no family, no-one. Roger is all I have. And you and Flo were my closest friends. You were like my family. Jim, I would be prepared to make it even if that is what it would take. Jim, please make love to me if it will make you feel better about what happened."



I moved over to her and held her as she continued to cry. Now I knew that my good friend was already collateral damage. 



Poor Alice must have been desperate and I certainly hadn't expected her to offer herself to me to make things even and as much as she was one very hot lady, I only loved my wife. My pay back had gone too far. It would be hypercritical of me to fuck Alice after all I had said about being faithful. I thanked her and told her I wouldn't be filing charges so long as she continued to say nothing to them then she leaned over and hugged me as she started crying again for what seemed like was ages. Alice eventually stopped crying and looked up at me and asked, "What about Flo? Have you spoken to her yet? Jim, please forgive her. Mary told me she has not been eating and has lost weight. She just sits staring at nothing and cries all the time." 



All I could say was, "Alice, I want to forgive her. I want to love her again but I can still hear her cumming with Roger up in your bedroom. I want to have her back but I still need proof they didn't fuck. Any proof would help." 



"Oh Jim, what have I done? I just realized I was so angry at them and what they did or didn't do on our bed that I stripped the bed and washed the sheets. I couldn't stand the thought of laying on them after what they had done. Honest Jim, I didn't see any evidence of them fucking but I could see that they had been on the bed though and that fits in with their stories. We could have had them tested. Oh, if only I had been thinking. Jim, I'm sorry. Now I don't know how you are going to get your proof. You know I was serious about making it even and being with you to help you forgive them. If you change your mind about my offer so you can take her back please call me." And then she kissed me on the cheek and walked home. 



Two nights later I was turning off the lights and about to head back to my lonely empty bed when I heard Mary's car scream into the driveway. It wasn't late but whatever she wanted must have been important and I prayed Flo was alright as I opened the door to her. Mary jumped from her car and raced up the path to me at the door. I was worried and about to ask her if Flo was ok when she started talking at a million miles an hour. I pulled her inside trying to calm her and sat her at the kitchen table. I handed her a bottle of Coke to try to slow her down. 



Her eyes were excited and she took a deep breath that started again. "Jim, we were just watching NCIS on TV. Jim, they used a lie detector! Jim, a lie detector can give you the answers you need and you can have your Flo back. What do you think? Please Jim, you owe it to yourself. You owe it to both of you. Please, Jim, please?" 

I sat there thinking about what she was saying and maybe this was the only proof I could get and just nodded my head. 

"She wants you to know that she is willing to take a lie detector test to prove that she isn't lying when she says nothing happened with Roger or ever has with him or anyone else. That is the only proof she can offer you apart from her word." 

This was a new direction I hadn't thought of and I gave it a few more minutes thought as Mary watched me intently while continuing to sip her Coke. 



"That sounds OK to me but I want to place some conditions on it. One, results proving she didn't have sex with Roger doesn't mean I will take her back. Two, Roger will have to take the same test and the results of his test will have to agree with hers. Three, I want approval on who administers the tests and the questions and four, I will not pay for the tests." 

"That sounds reasonable to me Jim, but can't you be more positive about taking her back if the test results show they aren't lying?" 

"No, she cuckolded me and hurt me deeply and even if I took her back it will be a long time before I forgive her." 



"Alright, Jim. I'll give her your conditions. I'm really sorry about this whole mess. I wanted to tear into her for her stupidity when she showed up at my place, but she was such a pathetic sight that I don't believe anything I could say would make her feel any worse. She knows that she has done a very stupid thing and has also done you a terrible wrong particularly after I told her what you said on my last visit. I have to give her pills to get her to sleep at night now. I also want to tell you that she called your kids and told them what she did. I think they were a little put out at her as she hasn't stopped crying since she talked with them. Well, I'd better get back and give your message. Thanks for the Coke." 

"OK Mary. Thanks for coming all the way over here. I appreciate your concern." 



After she left I sat down to think about the situation. Some of my initial ire had cooled and I was now able to think clearer about what I wanted. I decided to get a drink first and went into the den, where my liquor cabinet was, and poured a tumbler half full with good scotch and then went to the kitchen to add an ice cube. Without returning to my seat I wandered about the house looking at all the things that were memories of our married life together. Did I really want to end my marriage remembering what Sgt Bell had told me about his loneliness? I was awakened from my reverie and reminiscing by the door bell ringing. Checking out the window I saw our daughter, Patty, standing at the front door looking decidedly unhappy. 



"Oh shit," I thought. She's just found the locks have been changed and her key didn't work. I opened the door and Patty immediately came inside giving me a dirty look. 

"What's with changing the locks dad and why aren't you answering your phone. It's late and I have been trying all week and had to drive here 150 miles to find out what's going on." 



"I'm sorry Patty; I didn't want to talk with your mother so it turned the phone down. I hear from your Aunt Mary that she told you what she did." 

"Yes, and I'm really mad at you for throwing her out just because of a joke. Can't you forgive her and let her come home? When she called me to let me know what she did she was a basket case. 

"Patty, it was more than just a joke and I'd warned her before that I didn't like the way she and our friend Roger were carrying on, but she didn't listen." 

"I couldn't get too much out of mom over the phone but I understand it was just a joke. What was so bad about it?" 



I wondered how much Flo had told her but went on to relate what had happened from my point of view. I started out by telling her about the necking incident they had pulled earlier and our discussions afterward. Then I told her about their so called fucking joke and pulled up my sleeves and removed the bandages to show her my wrists. 

"Oh daddy, that's terrible. Was that when you threw her out?" 

"Yes, I was sure they had intercourse. It sure sounded like they did, because I know the sounds your mother makes when she has an orgasm. Patty, I heard everything, even her moaning. Either that or they're very good actors. I perceive that they did and that's my reality until she can prove differently." 



"Your mother has offered to take a lie detector test and to have Roger take one. If the test results agree I'll have to believe her, but she hurt me so badly. They thought they would have a big laugh at my expense and accept being a pseudo wimp, cuckold over their so-called joke. I still worry I may be unable to live with her again." 



"I'm real sorry that daddy. I hope you and mom can work this out because I love you both in spite of what she did." 

"I'm trying to accomplish that baby because I really miss your mother, but I still can't get over her disrespect for me." 



"OK daddy, I guess I can't ask more than you try to get back with her. I'm going over to see mom now that I know what happened and see if I can get her calmed down. I'll probably spend the night at Aunt Mary's and then I have to get back. Please answer your phones so I can get a hold of you and I know Eric wants to talk with you too. I'll call him and let him know what this is all about. He's on that job upstate and has been trying to reach you after mom called him." 




A Joke Ch. 02



The Conclusion

I really didn't want to write an ending to this story. I was hoping someone else would volunteer to do it, but I've received so many requests, pleas and demands to finish it that I will attempt an ending and hopefully get closure on this story. Many writers provided their own suggestions for an ending and some were quite original in their thinking and maybe my ending will include some part of their input. However it turns out, I know some will be unhappy and others content that right or love has prevailed. So here goes:

I had heard from Alice, the wife of the man who may have cuckolded me, my wife's sister and my daughter regarding how to resolve the issue with my wife, Flo. I knew if I went to our pastor he would expect me to forgive her. I finally decided I would wait for the results of the lie detector tests before making a decision. I figure I couldn't trust the testing of one of the jokesters to verify their story but I didn't think there was any way for both to fool the machine.

A couple of days after Flo's sister, Mary, visited me I received a phone call from her telling me that Flo had agreed to my conditions for a lie detector test and she'd gotten Roger to go along with it too. Roger had agreed to pay for his own test to show his remorse for his part in the joke. Mary also provided me with the name and phone number of the test administrator.

My anger at Flo for participating in the joke had cooled somewhat, but I felt so depressed that if she loved me and didn't have sex with Roger, how could she have participated in such a demeaning joke on me. I was slowly coming to the conclusion that maybe her love for me was gone despite her protestations about wanting to get back together with me. It may come down to a simple decision whether I wanted a loveless marriage if the tests proved there was no sex.. 

Flo had tried to call me a few times but I just hung up when I heard her voice and she soon got the message. After that, all her communication with me was through her sister and I received daily calls from her. Mostly about how sorry Flo was and wanted to come home but I kept telling them I wouldn't make a decision until after the lie detector tests.

About this time our son, Eric, began calling me to beg me to forgive his mother and allow her to come home. I tried to explain what had happened and why I was having such a hard time with his mother's actions but he couldn't relate to my pain and kept insisting I let her come home. I realized that I might end end up in an estranged relationship with my son if it turned out that we divorced. It was some comfort to know that our daughter, Patty, better understood what I was going through and was more supportive.

After getting the information from Mary on the name of the administrator of the test, I called some friends in legal and police matters and found out that the guy was used frequently by the police and was assured he would conduct an impartial test. Calling, I made an appointment to see him the next day. I found out he'd already been contacted by Flo and Roger and was scheduled to give the test to each of them in two days. They had both provided my name as an interested party with authority to control the questions to be asked.

The following day I explained to my boss that I needed to take some personal time and went down to the test administrators office. His name was Jack Harlan and I explained to him what the problem was and I needed closure via his testing to determine if Flo and Roger had sex or not. We discussed the questions he would ask and he told me that he would ask the same questions of both Flo and Roger and compare the responses he received from both of them and issue me a final written report. He agreed that having both of the jokesters take the test and comparing the results would provide assurance that there was no sex if test results for both were in agreement. If they weren't then the the tests were invalid and I could probably never be trust her again and divorce was imminent. If the tests showed they were both lying I could start divorce proceedings immediately. It was a no brainer as far as I was concerned.

I went back to work feeling more assured I would get to the bottom of this soon as to whether there was sex involved. However, I knew in my heart that hard decisions were coming.

The next three days I went to work as usual and stayed late to avoid going home to an empty house. I ate my meals at a nearby diner and when I got home, I had a drink of scotch and then went to my empty bed. Sleep was hard to come by. I really missed Flo and the warmth and love she had brought to our marriage before the jokes started.. 

On Friday I received a call from Jack Harlan that he was putting the results of the the testing in the mail that morning and I should probably have it the next day. He didn't tell me the results, just that I should be pleased.

The next day I received the envelope containing the reports and sat down at the kitchen table to open it with mixed feelings. The envelope contained a summary report of the tests on both Flo and Roger. The report indicated that the results from both tests were in agreement regarding the episode with the handcuffs in that no sex had occurred. Additionally, a question I had the test administrator insert regarding whether any sex had ever occurred between them had negative results.

I breathed a sigh of relief but then thought, 'What do I do now? Can I still live with her and her obvious lack of love and respect for me?' I guess it was time to sit down and talk with her to see where we were going.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That evening I called Mary's place and asked to speak to Flo.

"Well, its about time." Mary responded.

"I got my copy of the test results today and Flo and I need to talk."

"Were they OK?"

"Yes, they were fine. I guess it was just a joke."

"Well, can't Flo go home now?"

"We need to talk first. The lack of respect she showed me by pulling that joke was too much. We need to talk about our future together."

"Oh god, I hoped that once you were convinced they weren't lying, it would be over and she could go home."

"I wish it were that simple Mary, but I have a real problem with that so-called joke that goes beyond the big laugh they got out of it, so can we use your house to meet tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure. No problem. I'll leave at whatever time you set up and you can have the house to yourselves."

"Thanks Mary. Can you put her on now?"

"Sure, just a minute."

I heard some murmurings in the background and then Flo came on the phone.

"Jim? Honey, is it you?"

"Yeah, its me Flo. We need to talk."

"Mary says the test results were OK. Can I come home so we can talk?"

"No, you can't come home yet Flo. I want to meet with you tomorrow afternoon at Mary's place. Is two PM OK?"

I heard a sob and then a faint response.

"That's fine honey. I love you."

"We'll discuss it tomorrow Flo. See you then. Bye."

Hanging up I could hear her crying and I began to feel bad. I knew I had to hang tough on this and see how the talks next day would go. Tomorrow was a Sunday and I hoped to get some resolution on my marital problems at our meeting.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next afternoon I was at Mary's house at 2 PM on the dot. Flo answered the door when I walked up the steps so I knew she was watching for me. She looked tired and sad with dark circles under her eyes and in the two weeks since I last seen her it looked like she had lost weight. It looked like she wanted to put her arms around me but I just shook my head as I entered the house.

"Hi honey." she spoke softly. "Mary has gone to the mall for a couple of hours so we can talk. Where do you want to sit? I've made coffee. Can I get you some?"

"I guess we can sit at the kitchen table and yes, a cup of coffee is OK."

I followed her into the kitchen and sat down watching her get the coffees. When she had set the cups on the table and I took a sip of mine as she sat down across the table from me.

"Before we begin I'd like to say something." she said. "In the last two weeks I've had a lot of time to think about what occurred, what led up to it and I'm appalled and ashamed of myself for the lack of respect for you as my husband, friend and lover I was exhibiting. I don't know where I was coming from in getting involved in those horrid jokes with Roger. When we made you the butt of those jokes I must have been out of my mind and I want you to know I've started to see a psychologist about how I got into that mind set."

"I want you to know also that having this two weeks apart and not being able to communicate with you has been the worst time of my life. It's made me realize how much I love you and need you. However, if you decide we've got to separate then I will accept that as punishment for what I've done to you and our marriage. I can only ask you, as my husband, to please forgive me and take me back as your wife. I will make sure you will never regret it if you do."

I had sat there listening as she talked and heard her say the things I knew I had to hear if there was going to be a reconciliation between us. If she had gone off on what other people thought about our breaking up or any other meaningless reason to stay together it would have been over. But she had gone right to the crux of the problem, she had addressed her shortcomings in allowing it to happen and what she was doing to find out why it happened. I remembered then why I'd married her so many years ago. She was forthright and didn't beat about the bush when a problem presented itself and needed to be solved. Now it was my turn to say something.

"I'm remembering Flo." I said and she looked at me apprehensively. "I'm remembering why I married you. You completed me. You made me whole and I never want to forget that."

She was smiling now as I continued.

"Somehow we got off track but I think its coming back together. I don't need a subservient slave back, I want the woman I married back and I want to get her back home where she belongs so I can feel whole again."

She was getting up from her chair and coming around the table to me with her arms outstretched and a beautiful smile on her face. I stood to meet her and we came together in a frenzied, passionate embrace. Our lips met and our tongues dueled in as we hungrily sought to make ourselves one body.

Finally, we broke the kiss and I whispered in her ear as she continued to desperately hold on to me.

"I brought my truck in case I decided to bring you home. How long will it take you to get packed and ready to go?"

"If you back your truck up to the garage you'll find all my stuff in boxes waiting to be loaded."

I pulled back a little from her and looked at her tear stained face before speaking.

"You were pretty sure of yourself, weren't you?" 

"No, just hoping and praying. I didn't want to waste any time getting home again if you decided to keep me."

She was smiling and laughing while she said it and still clinging to me.

"I love you."

"I know, and I love you more than my life. Let's go home."

EPILOGUE 

We got back together and made a new commitment to our marriage. In order to solve the problem of having Roger as a next door neighbor we sold the house we raised our kids in and bought a new, smaller home to fit our new life style as empty nesters. Life is good.

*

I hope this puts a closure to the story for all those that wrote asking for my ending. Maybe some other writer will attempt his own ending if he doesn't like mine.



A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Ending



=====

Agena wrote an intriguing story called "A Joke." Chapter one dealt with a man and his wife who had a very irritating habit of teaming up with a neighbor to play practical jokes on him. The jokes were over the top, until the last was far more than any decent human could consider a joke. The protagonist, Jim was injured and humiliated, and kicked the wife out of his life. If you're going to read this, you should read the original first. 

You can find his story here.

Agena states that he thought that some other authors might continue the story, and he provided his own ending in chapter 2. I have a very different take on what I thought should happen, and wrote this little dark tale about a joke taken too far, a man pushed to his limits and revenge. Very dark. Let me repeat that. Very dark.

I borrowed several lines and paragraphs from Agena's second chapter. I wanted to stay true to the characters, including Flo, the wife's, response to her husband at reconciliation. I did play around with her past just a little, and added some elements of the prank that made everything go haywire, which weren't necessarily there in Agena's version, but didn't go against the evidence reported.

This is my first effort at working with someone else's characters and storyline, and I hope I didn't take it too far off-track. 

I hope you enjoy this offering and that some of you will get a little more satisfaction over the way our protagonist handled the whole thing. It's not for the faint of heart or for the reconciliation-at-all-cost crowd. Not by a long shot. It's also a little long, but I think if you give it a chance you might enjoy it.

With no further ado, I give you, A Joke, Ch. 2, a Texan's Ending.

=====

After my baby girl left, I found one drink wasn't enough. My emotions were in turmoil.

Even if my wife and the asshole hadn't had sex, where was the respect? The trust? I had told her, and told her, it would lead to something like this. Yet she not only continued, she escalated things.

Worse was the intentional humiliation. Making a cuckold of me, even as a joke was too much. How could I ever trust her again? And Roger? The stupid smirks, the pranks, so often at my expense. Even if they hadn't had sex, how much had they done? Did they get naked? Play with each other? Use the joke as an excuse to get intimate? I know that sound, my wife's gradual excitement, the whispered need, the moaned keening that signaled her impending explosion. 

Where the fuck was the humor in that?

I like a good joke. Please don't think I lack a sense of humor, but this was not a joke, and it was anything but funny.

The third scotch had me whining at myself. Poor lonely me. I love my wife. I love my kids. This will destroy the family. I'm not young; where will I ever find someone I loved as much as my wife of 23 years? The, possibly, faithful mother of my children. I didn't want to spend the waning years of my life alone and bitter. If only Roger had never come into our lives. If only my wife hadn't gotten such a kick out of his damned stupid pranks. If only.

I knew that if I did leave her, many people would view me as the cad. The unfeeling bastard who left his wife over a stupid joke. Sure, it was over the top, but hell, it was only a joke, right? Get over it, they'd say. She said she was sorry, didn't she?

I was well into my fourth scotch, feeling no pain, not even from my aching wrists. Just a fucking joke. Get a sense of humor.

Fine. 

How about if the tables were turned? Let them see what it's like to be on the receiving end of a 'joke'. If, and only if, she passes that damned lie-detector test, I'd start the healing. I'd take her back. I'd see how she liked it. My 'loving' wife and that asshole son-of-a-bitch next door. Hell, I had a sense of humor. Let's see if they did.

I managed somehow to make it to my bed that night, my endless possibilities of a revenge joke percolating through my stewed brain.

I woke slowly, in that grey place between conscious and unconscious, and with perfect clarity found I'd selected the avenue of my revenge. Just a joke. Let's see them find the humor in my 'joke'. I laid there for hours, playing with options, permutations, contingencies, results. When I finally got out of bed, I had a smile on my face, and maybe just a little joy in my heart.

* * *

Damned if she didn't pass the test. Not perfectly. I'd insisted on selecting the questions and Flo wasn't aware of them. She thought I'd only ask about the final prank, but that wasn't good enough for me. This was a major decision, to stay married to a woman who I still believed had cheated on me with our neighbor. Perhaps they didn't screw, but I believed what they did was well beyond what she knew would be acceptable.

No, she hadn't screwed him. Yes, they had taken off their clothing. No, they had not removed their underclothes. Yes, she'd seen his erection. Yes, the orgasm was real. 

So much for the faithful wife.

No, she'd never been unfaithful before. She had given more than one hand-job to someone in the past. No blow-jobs, no anal, no intercourse. She honestly believed she'd not been unfaithful. 

Yes, the idea for the joke, was Roger's. Yes, that's all she thought it was, a stupid prank. A joke.

Yes, she loved me. Yes, she wanted desperately to get back together. Yes, she'd never make me the butt of a joke again. 

Yes, she believed it was fair if she had to suffer through a similar joke herself.

The only question she failed, was if she had thought about being unfaithful with Roger. Her answer was no, but the results were inconclusive. Perfect.

Maybe I hadn't hit every important question that I could have. There were more things I could have brought up, issues I'd had. But this was really about three things. One, what had happened and how did it get that far? Two, was she a faithful wife? And three, was she penitent, and did she really love me and want to get back together? Everything else was in the noise.

I was disgusted with the results. But I did believe she was at least honest, and wanted to be back with me.

The results had been delivered to me three days after my talk with my daughter, during which time the only contact I had with Flo was through her sister Mary, who had given me the information about who my wife was going to go to for the testing, and the contact info I needed to make sure I had my input on the questions.

I started making preparations for my own 'joke' and let her stew for a couple of days.

* * *

Our son Eric called the day after I received the results. He argued for us to get together, as I knew he would. He might not be happy with her, but she was his mother, and he wanted his parents together.

I explained the problems I had with her, even if they hadn't had sex together. It was odd. I realized I was talking to my son as a man, about problems with a woman, and not as my little boy.

"I understand Dad. But it was just a joke. She didn't mean to get carried away, and she didn't have sex with the slimy bastard. You've got to take her back. Please, for us, for the family. Forgive her and let her come home."

"I love your mother, Eric. I can only hope to God that you have a chance to love and be loved like us. I...I don't want to lose her, but I don't know if there's anything we can do to make it right."

"I know Dad. I know what I'd do. Biggest god-damned revenge 'joke' on the mother-fucker next door. He's the real fucking problem here. Why the hell are you letting that bastard slide, while making Mom's life a living hell?"

I couldn't help but smile. Like father like son.

"I'll talk to her soon. I'll try. I'm not going to promise anything yet, but I want to make things work out. Ok?"

"God, yes, Dad. That's all any of us want. Talk to her, let her explain, and try to forgive her. Try, please, for all of us. Don't let her stupid mistake break us up. You need to be the bigger person here."

"I said I'll try."

* * * 

"Jim, it's Mary," the voice announced on the other end of the line.

"Hi Mary." I was willing to let her drive the conversation.

"You didn't call."

"No. I didn't." How observant of her.

"The...the test results weren't that bad were they. You saw it was only a joke," she said nervously.

"Did you see the results Mary? All of them?"

She was quiet for a while. "Yes."

"So much for the faithful, loving wife, huh?"

"Jim, she loves you. You know she does. The test proves it. She's done some stupid things. Horrible things, I admit, and I'm disgusted with her, but she didn't mean to hurt you. It was a stupid joke that got carried away. It doesn't have to be the end of the world."

"What part of a hand-job is a joke?" I asked.

"You have to talk to her. The questions and answers are so black and white, and our lives, all of them, are lived in grays. It wasn't a real hand-job. She never felt the guy's flesh, it was through his pants, at a party. She rubbed him, and he got off. She felt she had to say it was a hand-job, because of the results. She couldn't lie. Not if she was going to have a chance at getting back together."

"It's difficult Mary. It went well beyond a joke, and you know it."

It hurt me to hear her crying on the other end of the line. "I know, Jim. She's my sister, and you're destroying her. Please, please speak to her. Give it a chance. Do what you have to do, give her rules and ultimatums, whatever you need to make it right. I know you still love her. Do this for the love, not for the stupid, selfish woman. For your wife, the 23 years, the mother of your kids."

I already knew I was going to take her back. I sure as hell couldn't pull off my side of the 'joke' if I didn't. Still, she had been warned, and she had to keep going. She had cheated on me. She had no respect for me, and got a kick out of humiliating me. I wanted her to feel a little of the pain she'd doled out, over and over, ever since that bastard moved next door.

"Saturday. She can come over Saturday at noon, and we'll talk."

* * *

She came over, and she looked like hell. Her eyes had deep bags and were red and puffy. It had been less than two weeks, and she looked like she had lost weight. Flo had cleaned up, putting on a teasing dress, not slutty, which would have had me kicking her out the door, but enough to remind me how beautiful she was, and to ignite the flame of my attraction. She was wearing my favorite perfume, and she melted into my arms when I opened them to her.

"I'm sorry, Jim. I'm a stupid bitch, who doesn't deserve you, but I pray that you're a better person than I am, and you'll give me another chance."

I hugged her tightly. "Come in," I told her. "Before we start, you need to know I love you, and I always have. I hope it's enough."

She squeezed me tight, and she sobbed against me for a few moments, before I was able to get her to calm down and sit at the kitchen table with me. 

I could tell she was trying get hold of herself. She got up and walked over to the coffee maker, reaching up into the cabinet for her favorite mug. She popped the single-serving into the top of the machine and made herself a cup. "Can I get you one?"

"Sure, thanks." It felt good to see her in the kitchen, so natural. I did love her. For a moment I wondered if she loved me enough to survive my 'joke' on her and the bastard.

She passed me my mug and sat down at the table across from me.

"Before we begin I'd like to say something," she said. "In the last two weeks I've had a lot of time to think about what occurred, what led up to it and I'm appalled and ashamed of myself for the lack of respect for you as my husband, friend and lover, that I was exhibiting. I don't know where I was coming from getting involved in those horrid jokes with Roger. When we made you the butt of those jokes I must have been out of my mind and I want you to know I've started to see a psychologist about how I got into that mind set.

"I want you to know also that having this two weeks apart and not being able to communicate with you has been the worst time of my life. It's made me realize how much I love you and need you. However, if you decide we've got to separate then I will accept that as punishment for what I've done to you and our marriage. I can only ask you, as my husband, to please forgive me and take me back as your wife. I will make sure you will never regret it if you do."

I sat there listening, hearing all the right words. More than I had hoped for, to be completely honest. Still, it might have banked the flame of revenge burning in my gut, but it couldn't put it out.

I pulled out the test results and watched her face turn red. "Some of these answers make it difficult, you understand?"

She nodded. "I...if you need me to explain..."

Her little prepared speech was nice. Now that we were off the track, she wasn't so skillful.

"No. Not yet. Someday perhaps. I couldn't stand to hear it now. I wouldn't be able to welcome you back, and that's what I need right now. I need my wife back."

She got up from her chair and came around the table to me with her arms outstretched and a beautiful smile on her face. I stood to meet her and we came together in a frenzied, passionate embrace. Our lips met and our tongues dueled as we hungrily sought to make ourselves one body.

Finally, we broke the kiss and I whispered in her ear as she continued to desperately hold on to me.

"Let's get your things. How long will it take you to pack?"

She blushed. "It's all in the car."

I pulled back a little from her and looked at her tear stained face before speaking.

"You were pretty sure of yourself, weren't you?" 

"No, just hoping and praying. I didn't want to waste any time if you decided to keep me."

She was smiling and laughing while she said it and still clinging to me.

"I love you."

"I know," I told her, "and I love you more than my life. Let's get your stuff."

She grinned, pulling my hand, dragging me away from the front door, and to the back of the house. "Later. First, I need to show you how sorry I am. I hope you'll like my first of many, many, sincere apologies."

I did enjoy her apology, three times which was as good as it got for me. I loved her, and loved the sex with her. But when I heard that little cry of orgasm, I almost lost it. Knowing that the bastard had heard that cry, had wrenched it from her willing body set the flames in my gut roaring again.

I loved her. God, did I love her. I hoped she loved me enough.

* * *

Alice and Roger were still together, and Alice was no longer a stranger at our home. Roger had not made an appearance, and his name was not brought up. If I saw him outside, I never spoke to him. He might look my way, but he never made any effort to talk beyond that.

It was three weeks later, on a Friday evening, when I answered a knock at the door.

Roger was standing there, nervously.

"Roger," I said calmly.

"Jim, I know you hate me right now, and you have every right. I only wanted to come over and apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I think you should know that I never meant for anything to happen. I know I'm an asshole, and I let my stupid pranks go way too far, especially with a good friend. I goaded Flo into going along, and I'm sick to death over what I almost did to your marriage."

I nodded, quietly.

"If...if you want to kick my ass, I understand. I'll defend myself, but I think you and I both know how it will turn out. I won't call the police."

I shook my head. "That won't be necessary," I said.

He stared at me and for only a moment, I thought I saw a hint of a smile. That lousy fucking bastard.

"That's all I wanted to say. I am sorry. Please don't hold my actions against Alice. She didn't have any part of it."

"No. I have no hard feelings against Alice." I started to close the door, then stopped. "Roger," I called out as he started to walk away. 

He turned back to me, "Yes."

"I appreciate the apology. What you did was really fucked up, and far beyond the limits of a joke. But I know it was probably difficult to come over here and face me."

He nodded. "I am sorry."

I closed the door. I'm sure he was sorry for my interrupting the little seduction dance with my wife. I had no doubt one of his jokes would probably have ended up with me walking in on him fucking my wife in our bed. Just a joke.

* * *

It took two damn months. I wanted to press things, but I had to let it takes its natural course. Two full months. Eight weeks. Fifty-seven fucking days to be precise.

We saw each other at a mutual friend's party. We talked coolly across the fence. Alice came over several times and eventually broached the idea of a casual lunch with the four of us.

We were neighbors after all. Everything was behind us. Nothing would ever be the same, but it didn't have to be horrible between us. 

Six weeks after he came over and apologized, we all attended a barbecue at the Henderson's. Our second get together, with the four of us at the same place. Flo avoided being anywhere near Roger, but he still sought her out, telling stupid jokes, not as raunchy as before, but still bad. I saw him put his hand on her, and she took a little too long before pushing it away. The bitch laughed at his joke. Damn her.

A few minutes later, she came to me, giving me a hug. "Thank you for everything, baby. I love you so much. This is the first party I've enjoyed in ages. Having you here with me, makes my life complete." She gave me a quick kiss, and passed me a full beer. "Looked like you were empty. Let me know if you need anything else."

I thanked her, and took a sip. It wasn't beer. It was lemonade. I spit it out, and she looked at me in confusion.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Didn't you learn anything, you stupid bitch!" I growled.

The shock on her face was real. She took the bottle from me, and tasted it. "I...I didn't know. I swear." She ran across the yard, waving the damned bottle. I couldn't hear what she said, but she stood in Roger's face and chewed him out. About fucking time.

I could hear the laughter from Roger, grinning, looking my way, and the crowd around him. She argued with him, and the guys around him, and to my disgust, eventually laughed along with them. She stood there, laughing at me. The flames inside my gut burned.

When she didn't return after several minutes, I'd had enough of it. I turned to leave, and was intercepted by Alice.

"She's drunk, Jim. Let me go get her. Don't let the asshole ruin everything for you two."

"I think it's too late, Alice. I won't let her disrespect me again."

"Please."

"No. It's not your fault, and if you can live with him, more power to you. I'm not going to go through that again." I turned to thank our hosts for the party, and headed for the door.

Flo caught me at the door, "Where are you going?"

"As far away from you and your boyfriend as possible. Don't come home."

It must have shocked her. She dropped her drink, making a mess, her hand lifted to her mouth. "No, Jim. Don't say that. I didn't do anything, I swear. He's not my boyfriend."

"You couldn't stop, could you? Had to play along with humiliating your husband with your lover. Laughing at me, making me the butt of your jokes again. It's over. I'm done."

She screamed reaching for me, and I pushed her away. She crawled and grabbed my leg, clinging to me. Disgusting, a grown woman, in her forties, drunk, crawling on the ground.

I heard a disturbance out back, and Alice was laying into her husband with a bottle, swinging at him, while he was on his knees. She must have gotten one good shot in. He was bleeding, holding his arm up to fend off her blows. Someone pulled her off of him, and I turned back to my loving wife.




A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Ending



"Get off me," I growled, tugging my leg away hard, leaving her prone on the ground, crying.

* * *

Mary was at the door. I'd only been home an hour or so.

"Hi Jim. Is it too bad, or can she come home?"

"What did she tell you, Mary?"

Mary looked over her shoulder, and I could see that Flo was seated in her car.

"Roger pulled a joke on you, and he used her to do it."

"That he did. If that was all, it wouldn't be a problem. Not with her."

"She told me that she confronted him, yelled at him, and told her that it was a stupid thing to do, and to never use her like that again," Mary explained.

"So you understand why I can't take her back?"

Mary looked surprised. "But she didn't do it. She was even mad at him."

"She didn't tell him not to do it. She told him not to use her to do it. Then she stood there while they all laughed at me, and she joined in, laughing along. She didn't come back to me. She stayed with him, and his little sycophants, laughing at me. I gave her ten minutes, and then I'd had enough."

"She was drunk, Jim. That's all. She had nothing to do with the joke. She was used, just like you. Don't throw her away. You two have to talk. She's sorry. She's completely devastated."

"She'll always be sorry. Afterward. Ask yourself this: how in the hell did she end up bringing a drink to me, that he'd doctored? How is that possible? After what they did, how could she even be talking to him?"

Mary was at a loss for words. "I...I don't know. We can't know unless you talk to her. Please?"

Of course I was going to concede. I couldn't finish what I'd planned unless I did. But her actions had changed things. I wasn't willing to settle for what I'd planned originally. Not anymore. This was revenge.

"Last time, Mary. Last fucking time. Next time you intercede for her, I'm done with both of you. You understand?"

She paled, then nodded. "Yes, Jim. Thank you. I swear, I'm going to tear her a new asshole when she's sober enough to understand what she's done. I won't defend her again, and if there is a next time, sister or not, she'll have to find someone else to bail her out. You...you're better than she deserves."

A few minutes later Flo came in the house, and ran over toward me. I stood and moved around the chair, putting it between us. 

"Not a word, Flo! Not a single fucking word. You open your mouth to do anything but throw up, and I swear I will beat the living daylights out of you, go next door, and shoot your fucking lover-accomplice dead! Nod if you understand, but don't you dare speak!"

She nodded once, tears rolling down her face, then turned and ran to the guest room, closing the door behind her.

Alice showed up a couple of hours later, in tears. "Can I come in, Jim?"

I opened the door to her, and she walked by me in a daze, headed to the kitchen. I made her a cup of coffee, and another for myself.

"I don't understand how he could do that," she said softly.

"He doesn't respect me, and he's trying to get into Flo's pants. It's pretty obvious."

She shook her head. "No. I can't believe that. He wouldn't."

"Jesus, Alice. You saw the test results."

She looked up at me. "No, I didn't."

I left her, and returned a few minutes later, placing them in front of her.

She took her time reading, and the tears started to flow. "How could they? How could he do this to me?"

I shrugged. "It's not about you. It's about me. Notice, they didn't handcuff you to humiliate you. They sent you away. It was me they wanted to cuckold. Wimpy Jim. Jim who can't take a joke."

"What are you going to do? Is she gone now?"

"No. She's in the guest-room. I'm angry with her, yes. She didn't behave the way she should have. Your bastard husband is the one at fault, however. He just had to start up again, trying to humiliate me, embarrass me in front of my wife and the whole world. Belittle me, try to make her see me as a wimp. I'm fucking tired of his games."

"He's sorry. He really is. Somehow, he thought a simple harmless joke would show that things were cool between the four of us."

"You believe that?"

She nodded. "He only pulls pranks on people he likes. Friends and family. He's a stupid asshole, but I think it was almost a peace offering. He really doesn't understand."

"I came close to killing him tonight," I confessed.

She stared at me in shock. "I hope you're kidding."

"No. Not at all. If I thought I could avoid prison, I would have walked over and put a bullet between his eyes."

She reached across and grabbed my arms. "No, Jim! It's not worth it. Don't do anything stupid. If you were so angry, why didn't you kick his ass when he offered?"

"I don't know. I thought it was over. Now he's starting it up again, and I'm angrier than ever."

"You know he only understands one thing. You should get even. Embarrass him in front of his friends, co-workers. I'll even help if you want. Violence isn't the answer."

It was going so smoothly. I couldn't betray my joy at her words.

"I don't know Alice. I'm not much of a prankster. Whatever I did would probably blow up in my face, and I'd be the laughing stock. Either that or nobody would think it's funny."

"No, Jim. You have to do something. Make him the butt of the joke. Take him down a notch or two. Let him feel what it's like. Let me help."

I let her talk me into it, and twenty minutes later, I gave her a hug and a kiss goodbye, and thanked her. 

* * *

I woke to a blow-job from my stupid repentant wife.

I know, I know. I keep calling her stupid, and she's not. Not really. Just the opposite, to be honest. Except when it comes to our idiot neighbor and his asinine jokes. Then she's as stupid as a human could get. So forgive me, but I'm not going to stop.

When I woke, she straddled me, settling down on my hard cock. "I'm sorry, baby. I had too much to drink, but it's no excuse. I swear, I'll never talk to him again. I won't let him within 10 feet of me. I can't believe he used me, to go after you again."

"Shhh," I whispered, then drew her down and held her. "I was angry last night. I'm sorry I spoke to you as I did. I would never hurt you. I love you."

She clung to me desperately, openly crying, while I eased myself in and out of her. I had to admit her apologies were nice. I only wondered how much longer I'd be on the receiving end.

* * *

She was repentant, and Roger was as well, coming over a couple of days later with a shiner from Alice's attack, and trying to explain himself. He gave me the same bullshit about breaking the ice, trying to get things back to where they were. He missed us and the relationship we'd had. He'd made a mistake, but didn't mean to cause trouble.

I acted reluctant to accept his apology, but I did, once again warning him that I wouldn't accept another.

* * *

Two months in total. Two more weeks after the Barbecue fiasco. Plenty of time to prepare. I had a new plan. The bastard would pay. Shit, I was paying too. I was already $1500 into my revenge, and still wasn't done.

The girls got together, and planned a simple dinner party on Saturday night. A chance to bury the hatchet. Flo had been loving, and oh-so caring. I was getting laid every night, more than we had done it since the first couple of years together. She was almost subservient, and I probably could have gotten away with anything. 

It was a simple dinner, with the women preparing the dishes. Roger and I spoke cautiously about work and sports, avoiding any talk about our issues. I was going to save that discussion for later.

I was feeling good. In a forgiving mood. I praised both women on everything they did, was affectionate to my wife, and appreciative to Alice. They'd both cleaned up nicely for the evening. 

I think Flo is a bombshell, and understood why men would desire her and flirt with her. Alice was a little...simpler. Not bad looking, but not a head turner. Plain short brown hair she didn't do a lot with, and a body that was nice but not spectacular. I'd seen her in a bathing suit, and she didn't look bad. She was a few years younger than us. Smallish breasts, thick waist, and ample hips, with a little cottage cheese on the back of her thighs. She could probably afford to lose twenty pounds or so. She could still look good when she wanted to. That Saturday was one of those nights.

After the women prepared the dinner, I offered to clear the dishes and get us all an after dinner drink. Ten minutes later Alice was looking at me in confusion, as our spouses slipped off into unconsciousness.

I looked at her, got up, and took her glass. "Time for a little joke on our spouses," I explained.

She grinned, a nice big one. She should smile like that more often. It made her beautiful. "About fucking time, Jim! What's the plan?"

"Help me get them downstairs. I think it will all become obvious soon."

She laughed, helping me with Roger's legs.

It was a lot more difficult than I'd expected. Somehow, half-an-hour later they were both downstairs, tied to simple straight backed chairs facing each other, a couple of yards apart.

Alice was trying to get me to talk about my plans, but I kept putting her off. "Trust me on this one. They are both in for the shock of their lives," I told her.

Shock of their lives. Heh-heh. See? I have a sense of humor.

When they both were settled in nicely, firmly restrained, I had Alice help me set up a couple of cameras on tripods, both angled to face one of our captives, with the other one viewed from behind at angle. A third was facing the wall between them, with both captives viewable at the sides of the viewfinder.

"You've really thought this out," Alice said, finishing checking her setup.

"Oh yeah. I want it to be perfect."

She nodded, then got up stretching. "What's my part in this? I get to help, right?"

"Of course. It wouldn't work without you."

"But you're still not going to fill me in, are you?"

"Patience, beautiful. A little more patience."

I took her by the hand over to the bare wall. "I want to chain you to this wall," I said, and held up my hand when she looked up at me in shock.

"No, don't worry. It's part of the joke. I'm going to attach a collar and chain to your neck, and another one to your leg. It'll look very real, which is important. They both have to think you're here against your will, Ok? You can act that one out."

I walked a few feet away. "The key to your chains are right here. You can get yourself free anytime you want. If you think things are getting carried away, all you have to do is tell me."

She looked nervous, but nodded. "Can't you tell me what's going on?"

I thought about it. "I really think it's better if you don't know. You'll give a much more believable reaction, which is what I want them to see." I was attaching the neck and ankle collar while I spoke. Alice was wearing a knee length dress, which made it easier. I did remove her shoes.

"I'm a little scared," she admitted, as I locked the chain in place.

"I know. Think how they're going to feel. This is going to be perfect. If it's too much, tell me now. I'd prefer to keep it a secret a little longer, but I'll tell you if I must."

I could sense her battling with her own fears. "Alright, I trust you. It's going to start soon?"

"As soon as you're ready," I told her.

"Ok, let's get this going," she said, her smile back.

I didn't imagine that smile would be there long.

"A few more things, and we'll be ready," I told her. I had finished anchoring her to the wall. I walked behind her, took her wrists in my hands, and handcuffed them together.

"Jim?" she said nervously.

"Only for a little while. Part of the 'look'."

I stood in front of her, and gave her a hug. "Thank you," I told her. Then I was slipping the ball gag between her teeth, and the fear in her eyes told me she was ready. I anchored it firmly.

"I'm sorry," I told her, honestly. This wasn't her doing. Not totally, but if she'd gotten rid of the bastard, we wouldn't be where we were.

I went over to my wife, and broke an ammonia capsule under her nose. Just a couple of waves, and she turned her head away, starting to wake up.

I walked over to Roger, my nemesis, who this was all for, and did the same. He shook his head, starting to look around, and I slapped him across the face hard. "Wake up, Sunshine. Time to pay the piper."

"W...what?" he asked groggily.

"Wake up, you slimy bastard!" I told him, slapping him twice more, until he was struggling against the ropes holding him.

I walked back to my wife, who was yelling at me. I leaned down, held her face in my hands, and kissed her softly. "Hello, darling wife. Have a nice nap?"

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"Just a little joke. You both love a good joke, right?"

"This is not funny, Jim. Stop it now!"

"Oh no, my loving, faithful, loyal wife! I can't stop now. You guys threw down the gauntlet. Now it's my turn."

They both were screaming at me to free them, as I rolled over the covered trolley. I uncovered it, and pulled my first toy free. "Let the games begin."

I walked over to Roger, the 18" baton firm in my hand. "Look Roger, old buddy. I bet you think I'm going to beat you unconscious with this, don't you?"

"What the fuck, Jim?" he whined.

I laughed, rubbing the side of the baton against his head and neck. Then I pushed the end against his stomach and pulled the trigger, holding it there for several seconds. 

He gasped as the 2,000,000 volts entered his body, making him shake and twitch, before sagging against his ropes. "Just a joke old buddy. I'm not going to beat you with it...yet."

I walked over to my wife, who was shaking her head. "No, Jim. Please don't," she whined.

I had no intentions of hurting my wife. That's why I started with the stun baton. No real pain, and nothing lasting.

"You know what's cool about this honey?" I asked, waving it in front of her. "Look at the shape. Long and firm. Just think where this would fit so nicely. Perfect for the wife who needs something other than her husband between her legs."

I lifted her dress, and saw she was wearing the little blue lace panties we'd picked up on our anniversary cruise. Damn. I loved those panties on her. I reached down and pulled as hard as I could, stripping the torn material from her body.

"No!" she screamed, twisting as much as she could.

I rubbed the baton against her legs, up her thighs, pressing it up against her crotch. She was shrieking, begging.

"I remember begging like that, while I was handcuffed to a pipe, and you were naked, letting that bastard play with your body. Do you remember, love of my life? I know you heard me, because I could certainly hear you."

"No, Jim. It wasn't like that. Please," she pleaded.

I pressed the end against her tight opening, nudging it between her lips. She was terrified.

"I don't think it will do any permanent damage, triggered inside you," I told her.

"No Jim! No!" she gasped, as a couple of inches slid inside her.

"Don't struggle so much or it might go off before I want it to. Then I'd have to do it again."

Her struggles diminished. Her tears didn't as I got about a third of the length inside her. "There, it's almost time. Any last words?"

She sobbed. "Why, Jim?"

"What? I thought you loved a good joke, sweetheart. Why don't you laugh at me now?"

"Please, if you ever loved me, please don't do this."

I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I love you more than life itself. I'm willing to go to jail for life over you. I'd die for you."

I held the baton steady inside her. "Here we go."

"NO!" she screamed, and I pulled it out of her roughly.

"God," she gasped, "thank God."

I pressed the baton against her thigh and pulled the trigger, watching her shake, groaning. I only gave her a few seconds.

I pulled her head up by the hair. "God has nothing to do with what I'm going to do to you and your lover for the rest of this weekend."

I put the baton away, looked over and winked at a frightened Alice, and got my kitchen shears.

I stood in front of Roger for a second, then leaned over and punched him in the gut as hard as I could, leaving him bent over and gasping. "Sorry about that Roger. The assault isn't supposed to start until much, much later, but I couldn't resist. Forgive me old buddy?"

I started cutting away his clothing, laughing at his angry pleas, threats, taunts and the sickening begging. When I had him completely naked, I looked down at him shaking, then looked back at my wife. "Really, Flo. For this? Jesus, I'd expect better from you." I reached down and grabbed a fist-full of stomach flab. "Come on, baby. You've got to be kidding."

I put my foot up between his legs, and pushed, making him groan. I kicked at his shriveled up cock. "And this? Fuck, it's almost invisible. I thought you said it was so much bigger than mine? That you wanted to feel stretched out."

She was moaning, looking over at me. "It was a bad, stupid joke, baby. I'm sorry."

"Well, looks like the joke is on you three. Since this, or whatever is left of it when I'm through, is all that you're ever going to get to enjoy again. I mean, seriously? You were lying there naked, with him, he shows you this, and you start screaming how big he is?"

I walked back to Flo, who was looking up at me in despair. "It had nothing to do with sex, Jim. It was a fucking ignorant joke. The stupidest thing I did, or ever will. He wasn't bigger than you. Yes, he was hard for me, and he even pulled down his underwear, but I didn't touch it, or let him touch me with it."

"What made you come so loudly, dear wife?"

She had the decency to look ashamed. "His hand, and mine. I started on myself, and he slipped his hand over mine. I was stupid, Ok? It wasn't sex. It was a fucking stupid joke, and I was excited about what I was doing, what you were thinking. I wanted it to sound real."

"Humiliating me got you off?"

"I didn't think of it that way, but I understand how you might. It was the power, the control of the situation. I'm so damned sorry. I really am. Please stop this."

I laughed. "I imagine you're sorry now. Not sorry enough to stop humiliating me at the last barbecue."

"What are you going to do?" she whined.

"Lots and lots. I promise, you won't get bored."

I grabbed my baton, when back to Roger, and pressed it against his balls, pulling the trigger, making him scream and shake uncontrollably.

"Bet that hurts like a mother-fucker. But it's only temporary, and my pain went on for months and months. You owe me, asshole."

I put away the baton, and got out the electrode pads, applying the gel before placing them on Roger's body. "I read the stun gun won't leave you impotent, unless you use it several times on the genitals. What do you think the magic number is, Roger? How many times can I do it, before you never, ever get it up again. Five? Ten? A hundred? I've got lots of time, and tons of batteries."

"Please," he moaned. "I only played a joke on you. A stupid joke."

"Yes, a very stupid joke. That's all I'm doing now. Fair's fair."

I slapped another pad on his bare chest. "As long as I keep the voltage down, it shouldn't stop your heart," I warned him.

I know I was ignoring Alice, but that was part of the plan. By now, they both knew she was there, and obviously not a willing participant.

I walked over to her now, running my hand over her body. "You have a beautiful wife, Roger. Utterly charming. Why would you want to destroy your marriage, chasing after my wife? Why?"

"I wouldn't. I swear."

I walked rapidly over to the voltage regulator, and turned it up, about a third, making him scream as the current ran through his body. I gave him about 5 seconds then shut it off.

I walked over and slapped his face hard. "I don't like lies, Roger. You really wouldn't want me angry."




A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Ending



I moved back to Alice, standing behind her, and started caressing her front, up to her breasts. "What was it Roger? Your wife's tits not big enough for you? Why go after my wife?"

He was gasping, head down. "I liked her. That's all. She understood me, my sense of humor. She was pretty. I liked her, and started wondering what she'd be like in bed."

I strode back to the trolley, and he started begging. "Don't! Please, I swear it's the truth. That was all. I was curious. I liked her, and thought she liked me."

I had a bottle in my hand, and stood in front of him. "I'm not going to shock you, at least not at the moment. I believe you. I appreciate your honesty. I'm going to reward you." I held the bottle with the squeeze spout to his lips. "Drink up."

I gave the bottle a squeeze, and he drank. "Lemonade. Remind you of anything, ol' buddy?"

"I swear I was just trying to make up. That's all."

I held it to his mouth, and gave another squeeze. He drank most of it, but some still leaked out of this mouth. "I believe you. You never managed to nail my wife did you? You wanted to get back in our good graces with her. I get it. That's why you got her to help."

He nodded, helplessly.

I returned to the transformer, and gave him a smaller shock, a little longer.

"Why?" he groaned, afterward.

"Because I can, my good friend. Because I can."

I pulled the trolley over in reach, then stood behind him and pulled his head back as far as I could, by the hair. I put the wet towel over his face, then poured water from the pitcher slowly over his covered mouth, watching him suck at the material. You have to love the internet, such a wonderful source for inspiration.

He fought, almost freeing his head, as his hair tore out. When I thought he'd had enough I pulled the cloth away, watching him spit out the water, gasping.

"I love having a friend like you. So fun to play with. We're going to have lots of fun, aren't we?"

"Please," he moaned. "I'll leave. I'll move away. Whatever you want."

"Now why would I want that? We're such good friends. Best friends, really. No, I want you to stay. We're going to play and play and play..."

Flo was calling out to me, begging me to stop. "Don't Jim. This isn't you. You're not like this. I know you."

"You knew me," I told her. I walked over, and caressed her beautiful face. "I wish you hadn't worn this dress. I always loved you in it." I grabbed it in the front, tearing it viciously, opening the front. "You made me like this, faithful wife," I growled, tearing the sleeves off, pulling at the material until it was lying in a pile in the corner, leaving her naked except her bra.

"Don't...don't hurt me," she pleaded.

I laughed, going to the trolley and returning with a large knife. "I guess it's all up to you, isn't it?"

"No," she pleaded, as I pressed the tip of the knife against her chest. "I love you," she gasped.

"I know. I love you too," I answered, pulling her bra forward, and slicing the strap between the two cups, exposing her tits. Just a few more slices, and it was lying in the same heap as her dress.

"I figured it only fair that your lover and accomplice should get to see you naked one last time, since you're getting to see him."

"Stop, Jim. You're acting crazy," she begged.

"Acting? Do you really think I'm acting, my dear sweet, ever-so-loyal wife?"

I applied the gel to the electrode pads again, placing them over her breasts, on her stomach, and between her thighs. She cried hysterically as I attached each new one, tugging gently to make sure they're secure.

From the trolley I got one of my favorite new toys, a long metallic dildo, with a clit vibrator attached to the large rubber base where the wires protruded. I lubed it up and eased it inside of her, until it was fully seated. "I'd like you to meet the Samurai. I think you're both going to love each other."

"Please don't, don't," she whined. "You'll kill me."

"Hardly, love. Then play time would be over. Can't have that."

I returned to the source of the infection. "Roger. Dear friend. You are such a lucky man. It's about time for us to start playing for real. I don't think you're going to enjoy it much, but I'm not going to let that get me down. Are you ready?"

"No," he pleaded. "I'll do whatever you want. I swear. Don't do this."

I walked over to Alice, who was looking at me in fear, tears in her eyes. She was stretching toward the keychain, to her locks, and found out that it was about a foot too far for her to reach. I pulled the gag out of her mouth.

"Stop, Jim," she said softly. "It's too much. This is not a joke."

"Shhh, sweetie. You've been so good so far." I stroked her hair softly, brushing it back from her face. "You still have an important role to play tonight. You need to be strong."

I moved behind her, and unzipped her dress, slowly easing it off her shoulders. It slid down until it was stopped by her arms.

"Stop it you fucker!" Roger yelled.

"So brave, Roger. I'm proud of you. Defending your woman." I walked over and gave him a 1/4 charge, for ten seconds. When he stopped screaming, and looked like he was almost over it, he got a full 1/2 charge for just a couple seconds more. Man, was that a difference! He really didn't like that.

"Don't pass out on me, Roger. Stun gun to the balls will wake you right up." I grabbed the baton, and stuck it between his legs. "Like this." I pulled the trigger.

Before he recovered, I was back with his wife. "I'm going to release your hands now. Don't do anything stupid, Ok?"

She nodded mutely. When I had her released, she stood quietly, rubbing her wrists, while I lowered the dress down her body. "What are you going to do?" she asked, standing in her underwear.

"Now I think that's up to your kind husband."

I walked over and stood in front of my victim, grinning. "Here's the way it's going to go." I held up a simple kitchen timer. "Thirty minutes, this round. I'm going to give you thirty minutes of my full attention. I've got lots more toys to play with. Some of them sharp. Some hard. Some very, very hot. I'll let you think about that."

"Please," he moaned.

"Like I said, you're lucky. These two women can save you from a lot of pain. Emphasis on the 'lot'. At any time, my dear wife, the object of your desire, can ask me to give her some of what you're getting. I will reduce your punishment five minutes each time she does."

I looked over at my wife, and smiled. "You heard that, dear? If you think I'm too harsh, you and I can play."

I strolled back to his wife. "This little beauty can also save you. If she were to, let's say, 'distract' me, then of course I won't be able to deal with you as much as I'd like to." 

"The real question, of course, is why would she? She heard it from your own mouth, you've been trying to seduce my wife, right under both our noses. Kissing her, and trying to make it sound like it was a joke, getting her clothing off, fingering her. Making her come for you. Such a funny joke. You are such a card, Roj! Hilarious."

"Don't touch her," he groaned.

"Oh, I don't want to. I'm deeply in love with my own dear, loving, faithful, loyal, supportive wife. You'd have to beg me to touch yours. Hell, even that wouldn't help, who am I kidding? You'd both have to beg me."

"Fuck you," he growled.

I laughed. "Good. Growing a spine. I like that. Let's start the timer." The clicking could be heard clearly throughout the basement. 

I pulled on my latex gloves, got the ultrasound gel and rubbed it onto Roger's chest. I made sure it covered enough space. I grabbed the design transfer and pressed it against his skin.

"I heard that my loving wife just adored your etchings. You remember, Roger? I thought I'd give her a nice etching right here, where she could never miss it in the future." I peeled the paper away, leaving a design of a limp penis and balls on his chest.

"There. Looks so real. A little bigger than life-size in your case, but outside of this room, how many people will have to know?"

"I'm going to kill you," he snapped.

"I doubt that. I seriously doubt that," I laughed.

I pulled the wheeled cart over, and lit the propane torch.

"What the fuck!" he whined.

"Patience, ol' buddy. This will only hurt...nah, who am I kidding? This will hurt more than anything you ever dreamed possible."

I had the steel rod in hand, held by a welding glove, and lowered it into the flame, right at that interior blue pyramid, letting it glow.

"Don't move too much, wouldn't want to mess up the design," I warned him.

Both women were shouting at me. Alice was the more interesting, pleading for me to go to her.

I leaned in and pressed the steel at the beginning of the design, and dragged it about a quart of an inch across this skin. The smell was disgusting, and the sound almost equally so, although it was drowned in his scream. "Not bad, for a first time," I told him. "I figure only about twenty minutes to get the outline in."

I placed my tool back in the flame, whistling merrily. "Whistle While You Work," seemed appropriate.

"When I'm free...," Roger gasped.

"If you're free," I reminded him, drawing the steel across his skin, setting off more screams from all three of them. 

Before I could touch his skin the fifth time, he caved in. "Alice," he whined. "Please. Go to her."

I pushed a little harder, and dragged the metal slowly. The burn was a little over an inch long. "Beg me," I told him, heating the steel up for the next go-round.

"Please, no more. I'm begging," he sobbed.

I turned to Alice, "What do you think, beautiful?"

She nodded. "Please, enough."

I cut off the torch, removed the gloves and walked over to her. "How do you plan to distract me?" I asked.

"M...my mouth," she said softly.

I leaned over and gave her a small kiss. "I think I'd like that. But he still has almost twenty minutes to go."

"I know," she whispered, her eyes pleading.

I grabbed our camping mats from the corner, and placed them, stacked, on the floor against the wall. I reached up and unsnapped the chain from the wall. She looked surprised. I had locked the chain to her neck, but a simple carabiner attached it to the loop on the wall.

She got on her knees, and I took off my shirt, while she opened my pants. 

"Don't do it, Jim," my wife pleaded.

"Sorry, Miss Faithful, unless you want a little fun of your own?"

She shut up.

Alice was good. She took me in her mouth, semi-soft, and within a couple of minutes I was stiff as steel. She pulled off and licked me, kissing my shaft, teasing me. I knew what she was up to, playing, burning time off the clock. I let her. I was in no hurry, and the longer our spouses got to watch, the better.

She returned to sucking, and I was pleasantly surprised at how good she was. She looked up at me, her eyes smiling. I had to smile back.

"What? Did you really think I didn't know how to give a decent blow-job?" she teased.

"Fuck, Alice. That's not a 'decent' blow-job. It's a friggin' masterpiece."

She sat back on her heels giggling. "You know, I could drag it out for a half-hour, or we could make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I asked, curious.

"Call this round over, and I'll give you my best. It might not last as long, but I think you'll be satisfied."

"Beautiful, you've just made yourself a deal."

She was right. It didn't last ten minutes. She could take my entire length, right to the root, and had no qualms doing so. She mixed it up, deep, shallow, work the head, work the shaft. Her hands were busy, stroking me, playing with my balls. She had me groaning, and her head sped up. "God, that's good," I moaned.

She got her hand back on my shaft, stroking rapidly, while her mouth teased the crown, sucking, licking, teasing. "I'm gonna come," I warned her.

She kept her head still, her tongue laving me, her hand stroking smoothly. I erupted in her mouth, filling her warm enclosure, shooting off over and over again. 

"God, that was wonderful," I told her.

She grinned. "I'm glad someone thinks so."

I walked over to the cart, and turned off the timer. Then I returned to Roger, and slapped his face as hard as I could, rocking his head back.

"You are such a dumb fuck. Risking that?"

I went to the mini-fridge, and grabbed myself a Coke. It was thirsty work.

"Alice, can I get you a drink?" I asked, as she sat on the mat, in her underwear. "Something to wash away the taste?"

She laughed. "Sure, something diet. But not to wash away the taste. I'm kind of savoring it."

Roger, stared at her. "You bitch."

She pouted. "I'm sorry, honey. Did I hurt your feelings? I won't do anything else with him, I promise. I was only doing it to help you, but if you don't want me to..."

I popped open the drink. "Diet Dr. Pepper?"

"Perfect," she said.

I went over to my wife. "How are you doing, baby?"

She looked at me angrily. "How could you?"

I looked at her in mock surprise. "You tell me. How could you?"

"It wasn't the same."

"No, it wasn't. You're right. I won't touch her if you don't want. You know how to make me stop."

"I could do it for you," she pleaded.

"Of course you could. But tonight that's not one of the options." I walked over to the cart and returned with the gel, and the applique. I rubbed the gel on her breast, then pressed the design down. A cute little broken heart, only a couple of inches across.

"There. Now any time you ask, I can start to make that a permanent part of you. All you have to do is say 'please'."

She looked at me tearfully. "You wouldn't do that. I know you."

"You knew me. Before you and your lover broke me. The rage burned in me for months. Every time I heard you come, all I could think about was you with him."

She sobbed. "You never said anything."

"I never would have, if you hadn't started up again. I tried to bury it, kill it, until it faded. You wouldn't let me."

"It wasn't me," she whined.

"If you hadn't been with him, he never would have gotten you to give me that drink now, would he? If you hadn't stood there, laughing at me, I might have made it. Maybe. Those last minutes of humiliation were too much, and I lost control."

Her fingers were reaching out to me, and I placed my hand in hers. "I'm sorry," she said.

I kissed her. "I know. But it's my turn to play the Joker."

"You're not going to hurt me, are you?"

"Only if you ask, my love. Only if you ask."

I stood, stretching languidly, absurdly happy with how things were going.

"Can I get either of you two, fun loving pranksters a drink?"

"Water," Flo said softly.

I grabbed a water bottle, opened it and slid a straw inside. My wife loved straws. I placed the end to her lips and she sucked. I held it for a while, until she'd finished maybe a third. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Anything for you, my love. All my life, you know I'd do anything for you. Deny you nothing. Work as hard and long as it takes to make sure you were taken care of, all of your needs met."

The tears escaped again. "I know. God, I was such an idiot."

"Don't let it eat at you. It's not good. Trust me."

I turned away, and she cried out for me. "Jim!"

"Yes?"

"What's going to happen to us?"

"Monday, baby. We'll talk about it Monday."

"Can't we talk when this is over?"

"Absolutely. I promise, as soon as I'm done, we can talk to your heart's content. Monday."

She understood. "That means..."

"Correct, lamb chop. We have lots and lots more time to play. Oodles of time. You guys have played hundreds of jokes on me. If I only get one, it's going to be a long one."

I turned to Roger. "Something to drink before we get started?"

He looked at me cautiously. "A shot?"

"Bullet to put you out of your misery, or Scotch?"

"Scotch."

I opened the counter above the workbench, and pulled down a bottle. I held it to his lips. "Drink up."

I tilted it up, and he swallowed three times, before I lowered it. "Water chaser?"

He coughed. "Please."

"Of course. What are friends for? And you and I, we're such good friends, aren't we?"

I let him drink from Flo's bottle. "No germs, I figure. You've already swapped spit."

He drank. "I am sorry about that. It was a lousy thing to do, go after my friend's wife. I did think we were friends."

"We are. Good friends. A little joke would never change that."

I got the timer out. "Round two. Forty five minutes."

I grabbed the electric clippers and started shaving his head from behind.

That didn't seem to bother anybody too much. Flo watched calmly, and Alice had a sly little grin on her face. I spoke to her as I worked on his new haircut. "Not going to offer to distract me?"

"No. He doesn't want me to. I'd never go against my husband's wishes. I've always been faithful to him. Always."

"You know, you're a hell of a wife. I wish they made more like you."

She smiled for me. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Not so bad?" Roger snapped.

"Shut up dear. This is our joke, not yours. You've earned this."

With his hair gone, I got the electric razor, and finished the job in relative silence. I grabbed the aftershave, splashed it on my hands, patting it on his bald pate.

"There. Feel better?"

He seemed to be calming. "Thank you. That didn't hurt. I was afraid you were going to pull it out hair by hair."

"Shame on you! I'd never do that. Besides that would be messy, and I want the perfect palette."

"What?" he asked.

I grabbed the design, this time a stencil cut out with three large letters. "BFF. Best friends forever. You and me, right bro?"

"What are you going to do with that?" he asked nervously. 

"Apply it to your head, of course. You shouldn't mind that. It's the truth."

"You going to burn it in?"

I taped it to the back of his head. I returned to the cart, and got out my scalpel. "Nothing so callow," I explained. I wiped the blade with alcohol. "No, I'm going to carve it in."

Another set of latex gloves and I stood behind him. "Try not to move, this first part will only hurt a little."

I slid the blade down his skin, and heard the intake of breath. I tried to make it clean and easy. I didn't want him to fight this one. Not yet.

"Shit," he moaned.

"Sorry, I was hoping the Scotch would help. You bleed like a stuck pig, Roger."

I was surprised to hear him chuckle. "No shit. Fucking knife to the head typically does that."

I stopped. "Don't make me laugh, buddy! I don't want to mess this up. It's looking good so far."

"Gee, thanks."

I finished the cuts, and wiped it clean. It was still seeping blood. "Step one wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," he admitted freely.

"This next part might sting a little." I took the acid and dipped the natural sponge into it, then applied it to the stencil. Roger gasped, "Fuck!"

"Shh, it only takes a few seconds for the acid to take hold. We want a nice bold statement here. Not some little line drawing."

"Shit, shit, shit," he moaned.

When it had enough time to make its impact, I rinsed off the residue, and removed the laminated stencil. "Damn, I'm a friggin' artist. You're going to be proud of this."

He laughed. "Yeah. I bet."

"No, really. I mean it. It looks good. Besides, your hair was way too thin on top. The fucking comb-over wasn't working. You look a lot better this way. Seriously. One friend to the other."

"Great. You wait until now to tell me?"

"What do you think ladies? Nice look for him, or not?"

He turned to face his wife. "He looks a lot younger. Kind of manly," she said.

"I wasn't manly before?"

"That's not what I meant. Manlier. I like it."

He turned to Flo, who was watching us all cautiously. "What do you think?" I asked.

She seemed hesitant to say anything. I walked over and took a swig of my Coke. "Go ahead, baby. We're all friends here. Be honest."




A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Ending



She looked at me, then replied. "She's right. Up top it was looking kind of thin, lifeless. It's a better look for him."

I saw her squirming as she looked back at me. She still had that toy up inside of her.

I grabbed the controller and she glanced at it, scared. "No, Jim! You told me to tell the truth!"

"I did, and you did. I'm not punishing you. I'm rewarding you."

I turned it on, and she moaned, "Oh, shit!" The vibrator started working on her clit, while the varied electro-stimulation started up inside of her. "F..f..fuck," she groaned.

"It's Ok? Not too much?"

She shook her head, her hips moving. "W..what..." she moaned.

"Just a toy I found. A little joke. You thought I was going to electrocute you." I said, reaching down and tweaking her nipples.

She nodded.

"How could you? You must know I love you. I took you back after the terrible humiliation and the unfaithfulness. You're my wife, silly girl."

She was gasping, "God, I'm so s..s..sorry."

"Shhh, no more sorries. We have to get past that. Just know I love you." I kissed her softly. "At any time, you could have stopped what I was doing to Roger or Alice, and this is what you would have received."

"I...I...thought..." she gasped, and I heard the start of her orgasm creeping up on her.

"You thought I'd hurt you. You don't know how much that pains me. I could never hurt you, my love. You don't trust me, and you don't respect me, and yet you expect me to trust you."

I grabbed her nipples and squeezed, pulling them, just as she liked it. I got my reward, that piercing keening of hers, that could cut through walls. She finished, gasping, and I turned off the device. I leaned down and kissed her. I felt her tongue pierce my lips.

"Stop this, please," she begged. "It hasn't gone too far. It's not too late."

I brushed my lips against hers. "I can't. We're nowhere near the punchline yet. Remember me asking you to stop it? Walking up the stairs, with your arm around his waist, shaking your hips at me. I begged you, screamed, pleaded. You kept going, knowing full well what you were going to do to me."

"I didn't think it would go that far," she said sadly.

"You placed yourself in that position. Willingly. Eagerly. Cuckold and humiliate me for nothing but a lousy joke."

"You're better than me. You can still stop this."

"No."

I checked the clock. "Good, plenty of time, still twenty-two minutes to go."

I grabbed my stencil and walked back to Roger. "Part two, good buddy." I slapped the stencil on his forehead, and he shook his head trying to shake it off.

"What the fuck?" he whined.

"Coming and going. I want the world to know that you and me are BFFs"

"Don't. Not there. My chest. Do it on my chest."

I laughed. "No way, Jose." I grabbed my scalpel, and put on a new set of gloves. "Don't move, or you'll get blood in your eyes. Foreheads bleed like crazy."

Unfortunately, I didn't have any hair to hang onto, so I had to practically climb on top of him, holding his head in one arm, while he cursed me. "Don't! I'll kill you, I fucking swear I'll kill you!"

"Not likely once I'm done with you." I told him coldly.

The blade pierced his skin, and he wriggled partially free. The cut was jagged. "God Damn it, Roger!"

I got up and gave him a blast of the juice. Fifty percent for 10 seconds. His screams echoed loudly. When I was done, he was drooling, blood from the cut on his head dripping down his face.

"That was 50% for ten seconds. Next time I'll go to 75% for twenty. You might survive it. I don't know."

"Alice," he moaned.

"What?"

"Please. Alice."

Alice reached behind her and unsnapped her leg chain from the wall, crafty girl, and walked over to us. "What was that honey?" she asked sweetly. She went to my cart and got some of the gauze and wiped his wound clean.

"Please, baby. Help me. Don't let him hurt me again."

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Anything. Whatever he wants."

It was kind of sad, seeing a grown man cry. Hell, who am I kidding? I loved it.

She lifted his head, and kissed him. "I won't let him hurt you anymore. Not if I can help it."

He sobbed harder, and she held his head against her chest. When she pulled away, her bra was covered in his blood. "Bandage him, please?"

I nodded. I put a little antiseptic on his forehead, and applied a Band-Aid. I also went to the back of his head, cleaned it up, and examined my work.

Alice was standing beside me. She giggled. "You did a good job. Why the acid?"

"It's supposed to make it a bigger, darker scar. Really make it stand out."

She touched it softly. "It's kind of sexy, don't you think? Takes a hell of a man to get that done to him."

"Yeah. He took it well."

She gave me a hug. "He's an asshole, but not a total jerk, you know. I wouldn't love him so much if he was."

"I know that. He was my best friend."

She giggled again. "Forever. Now everyone will know it."

I put a large gauze bandage over it, then went to the clock. "I'm adding five minutes," I told her. "For the cleanup work you asked for."

She put her hand on mine. "Turn off the clock. You'll get more than you bargained for."

I turned it off and she took me over to the mats, then removed her bra, and stepped out of her panties. "Damn it. I loved that bra," she griped, looking at the blood stains.

"I'm sorry. I'll buy you a new one."

"Two?" she bargained.

I laughed. "Two matching sets, Ok?"

She pulled my head down and kissed me. "New deal?"

"Let me hear it."

She looked over at her husband, watching us. "I'll fuck your eyes out, I swear. Like nothing you've ever had. But you have to stop this."

"No deal."

She had her hand on my cock, squeezing it gently, firming it up. "Please, for me?"

"I can't. Not yet. We have to get to the punchline."

She nodded. "How about this? No more hurting him. No more shocking. No more cutting. No more burning."

"Counter-offer?" I suggested.

She got on her knees, and her mouth engulfed my cock. She looked up at me expectantly.

"If he's good, and doesn't fight me, I promise I won't burn him, cut him, or use the electrodes on him again. I might have to hurt him a bit more, but he'll have some control over that. If you trust me, it can all be over soon. I shouldn't, I had a lot more planned, but for you, I'm willing to make an early end of it."

She pulled off of my new erection, and stroked it. "You're asking me to trust you?"

I nodded.

She turned to my wife. "Should I trust him?"

Flo nodded, sadly. "Absolutely."

"Lay down, big boy. We've got a deal, and it's time for me to pay up."

She was as good as her word. Amazing. No, that's not a good enough description. Incredible. Epic. Mind blowing.

She had muscular control over her pussy that I would never have imagined possible. She could sit still while waves of pleasure engulfed me. She rode me like a champion cowgirl, with a stamina that left me breathless. 

I had to remove her collar and anklet after just a bit. The stupid chains kept getting in the way. At first it was kind of cool, laying the chain across her skin, seeing it shake, knowing what it symbolized. Then it was just a pain.

I fucked her doggy style, missionary, and on her side, straddling her leg, the other over my shoulder. She was multi-orgasmic, and a screamer, and I loved every moment of it. She rode me a while, then sat in my lap, letting me play with her tits, while she kissed me. I got her back on her knees after a while, and went for the big finale.

When I came for her, she joined me, screaming my name, then turned around and sucked me clean. She worked on me, taking her time, until she had me hard again, and took me through my paces once more. 

"You got some fucking lube in your pile of toys?" she gasped, while I pounded her from behind.

"Of course."

"Get it. I want that beast in my ass," she growled at me.

Not one to argue with a beautiful, horny woman, I grabbed the lube I had used on my wife, and greased her up.

"Don't do this, Alice, please," Roger whined.

"Anything, you said anything," she reminded him.

"Not that. Not for him."

She ignored her husband, and looked me in the eye. "Fuck my virgin ass, Jim. Ream me and make me scream."

She didn't have to ask twice. In spite of her request, I took it slow and easy, letting her get used to it. She moaned a lot, and squeaked out a couple of soft cries, but she managed to take it all.

"Jesus," she moaned. "Women like this?"

"Some. Men do. At least I do."

She grunted as I stroked into her. "Fuuuuck," she groaned. 

I worked slowly, short partial strokes, opening her up and getting her looser. "Please tell me it gets better," she moaned.

"Want me to stop?" I asked.

"No fucking way. You're going to fuck me cross-eyed. Get to it."

"Rub your clit," I whispered to her, stroking slowly.

It took a couple of minutes, and I heard her breathing harder. It was easier, and I was pulling out further, pushing in deeper. She grunted at the end of each stroke, but didn't complain.

"G...Good?" she asked.

"Amazing."

"Fuck me," she moaned.

I looked over at her husband. "You really never got a piece of this? You poor sorry schmuck. Who's the wimp now, dickless?"

I fucked her harder, longer, faster. She was shaking, her cute ass-cheeks quivering. I grabbed her hips, and pounded into her.

"Ohmygod," she squealed, and I felt her ass clamp down on me as she came.

"God, Alice, you are the greatest," I told her.

I heard my wife sobbing in the background, but I wasn't about to start lying now.

"Use me, lover. Use me hard. Fuck my slutty married ass."

I wish it could have lasted forever, but after only another minute or two, I was screaming as I plundered her sweet ass, and filled her bowels with my steaming seed.

I collapsed next to her, and she cuddled up to me, kissing my shoulder. "Did I meet my end of the bargain?" she asked.

"And then some. I think I'm blind. You've got to help me find my eyes. Some crazy married slut fucked them out."

She laughed, raising up and kissing me on the lips. "Towel?"

"Work towels, blue, under the bench."

She got up, waddling over to the corner, and I watched her grab a few towels, stuffing one up between her legs. She had the cutest little closed-leg walk, stopping in front of my wife. 

I could hear her clearly. "I'm sorry. I couldn't let him hurt my husband anymore. You of all people should understand that. Defending your husband. Maybe you could learn something."

Flo's tears had stopped. "You're right. I should have protected him, not made fun of him. I'm sorry."

Alice leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "No more sorries, remember?"

Flo gave a little laugh. "You started it."

Alice giggled in turn. "I guess I did. Ok, no more sorries for the past."

Flo nodded. "Deal." She laughed softly. "You're good at deals, aren't you?"

"Not usually. Special times make for exceptional cases."

"You're not going to take him from me, are you?" Flo asked nervously.

"God. If only I could. There's not a chance of that, and everyone here knows it. There's only one woman for him."

"It didn't look like that."

"That was just sex, honey. A one-off. Stupid revenge. He only loves you."

"What if I don't love him anymore?" Flo whined.

"Then he's mine. But you and I both know there isn't a chance in hell of that."

Alice came back to me, knelt and wiped me clean. She gave me a taste test, then sucked me for a while. Though the spirit was willing, the flesh was weak. 

"No more?" she asked piteously.

"Sorry angel. You did me in. It'll be a while before I'm ready to go again."

She pushed me back and laid on top of me, kissing me. "That was incredible you know," she said softly. "All of it. I never came so hard or so much. She's an idiot to chance losing you."

"I think we can say the same about your husband."

She grinned. "Yeah, but I already knew that about him. Time to start again?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm going to have to chain you up."

"Why?" 

"The next part is upsetting. Very upsetting. I have to do it, and I'm going to ask you to trust me again."

"You're going to hurt him, aren't you?"

"I'll keep my promise to you. I just need to finish it."

"Please. Don't take it too far. There's still a chance you know?"

I kissed her softly. "I don't think so. Trust me, Ok?"

She nodded sadly, and put the collar around her own neck. 

I kissed her ankle before closing the cuff around it, then put the chains through the eyes on the wall. I went to the corner, worried about the ending. I really needed to finish this. It would all be for nought if I didn't. I returned to Alice, locking the chains together.

She looked upset. "Oh God. This is going to be bad, isn't it?"

I nodded. "I didn't start this. But I'm going to end it. For good."

"Please, Jim. Don't! Don't take this any further. I...I'll do anything you want. I swear. I'll be your fuck slave for life. Just stop it now. Stop it."

God, it hurt to see her like that. "I can't." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes for what it was going to be like for her. 

"Oh God, Jim! Don't. Please, please, please. I'm begging. I'm on my knees begging. Don't do whatever you have planned!"

I wiped my tears, and went over to my wife. "You know I love you. I always have. You were the best thing that ever happened to me."

The tears rolled down her face. "There's still time to stop. There is. You don't have to keep going. I forgive you. For everything. I'll be the best damned wife anybody ever had, but you have to stop."

"I can't. It's gone too far. It all ends tonight." I grabbed the duct tape and strapped it across her lips. She fought me, then sank back against the ropes, sobbing. I removed the electrodes from her skin, wiping carefully. I cupped her breast softly, feeling the delightful weight, wondering if it was for the last time.

It bothered me that she was naked. I retrieved my shirt and put it over her, covering her torso. She whined through the duct tape, but I just shook my head.

Roger was watching me anxiously, as I approached him. "We're done now, right? All even. Hell, you took my wife, Jim! You fucked her brains out. All I ever did was get my hand in your wife's panties."

I was quiet, removing the electrodes from his body. He was trembling. "We're good?" he pleaded. "No hard feelings. I got what I deserved. Not much of a joke, but I guess I had it coming. Even that thing on my head. BFF. We can be friends again. I'll never go after her. You have to know that. No more jokes. Please!"

"I'm sorry, Roger. We had our run. Best Friends Forever. But forever ends today."

"Damn it! Don't do anything stupid Ok? You don't want to fuck your life up for someone like me. I'm not worth it. You have a woman who loves you. Everyone knows it. Fuck, you're all she talks about, man. Don't let that go. Not for anything."

I put away my toys. Covered them up. I went over and put on my pants. Alice fell to her knees, clinging to my leg. "No. Not this. Don't to this."

I pulled her away and she fought me. Fought hard, scratched me good, drawing blood. "You fucker! You promised!" she shrieked. "Don't take him from me! I love him. He's all I have. Don't do this to me! I don't deserve this."

I managed to get out of reach of her. I pointed up. She looked upward and saw the key hanging down. She followed the string it was attached to.

"When that block of ice melts, the key will drop. You can free yourself and Flo when it does. I'm sorry it will be a while. I really thought this would take much longer."

Realization dawned on her and she gasped. "Oh God, Jim! This is crazy. Don't do this. What will Flo and I do?"

I shrugged. I avoided looking at my wife of 23 years, and went to the cart. I lifted the gun free.

Roger was struggling against his ropes manically. "Don't! Please. It was all a fucking joke. Don't you get it? Don't you have any sense of humor? It was only a stupid fucking joke. Nothing worth dying over. You can't do this."

"I can. My kids are grown up. My loving wife of 23 years doesn't trust or respect me. She thinks it's fun to humiliate me with her asshole lover. What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? I can't live without her."

"No. She loves you. She does. We got stupid, but it's over. It's over man. Put down the gun. You've got to stop. You got your revenge. Fuck, buddy, I'll wear it the rest of my life."

"Your short life."

"No. NO! Let me wear it. Let me remember what it cost me to be a lousy friend, lousy husband and stupid prankster. Let me look at it every day, and know what my idiotic games came to. Don't kill me. For the women. Please. They're both more than either of us deserve."

I walked behind him and pressed the barrel against his head. "BFF," I said softly.

"That's right. BFF. Best friends. You and me. We both fucked up. You know you did too. We can end this all now."

I laughed sardonically. "My plan exactly."

"NO! Not like this. We end the pranks. No more one-upmanship. It's over. I swear on my life, we can let this go. I'll never say a word. I'll fucking wear my brand proudly. I will. Let me have Alice, let me live. I'm begging, man. I'm begging you! One last act of friendship. You don't have to do this."

"Listen to him, Jim." Alice called out. "He means it. I know he does. Let it end here. It doesn't have to go any further. For Flo. You'll break her heart. Think about the kids. Don't do it for him. Don't even do it for me. For the kids. Your perfect kids."

"Goodbye, Roger. I'm sorry."

"NO!" he screamed. "God damn it! If you're going to shoot me, have the balls to stand in front of me and do it to my face."

I walked around him. His arms were bloody where he'd struggled to free himself. Fitting.

I lifted the gun slowly, and he wailed. "Please. PLEASE!"

He pissed himself. One last fitting act.

"Sorry, Roger."

I pulled the trigger.

The 10 inch bar shot out of the handle, the cloth unfurling, as he screamed. Alice started laughing hysterically, collapsing on the ground. "You mother-fucker!" she shouted.

I grinned, turning the gun so Roger could read the large letters. "BANG!" Yellow on a field of red. The perfect punchline.

"Who doesn't have a sense of humor?" I said to him, before he passed out.

==============================

Let me know what you thought of this alternative ending. I couldn't help think the only way to deal with a joke, was with one of your own. Even if nobody thought it was very funny. Your comments are always welcome.



A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Epilogue



===========================

The price paid.

In my version of A Joke Ch.2 - Texan's Ending, I explored what might happen if a man is pushed too far. Over the edge. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor, but has to prove he does, and fails, except perhaps for the punchline.

He goes beyond the eye-for-an-eye type of revenge, to over-the-top payback. 

Jim, the target of many a bad joke and prank, decides to get his revenge in the harshest way possible, outside of outright murder. He restrains not only the his wife and neighbor, the prank perpetrators, but he gets the neighbors wife to go along as well. Only she doesn't know how far the revenge 'joke' is going to go.

In fairness to Jim, by this time, he's partially unhinged. All he wants to do is get to the punchline, and everything he does up to that point is to make the punchline more 'believable'. He needs his targets to believe that he's gotten to the point where his only 'out' is to end the neighbor's and his own life. To get to that point he does terrible things, and loses most vestiges of his own humanity. All in pursuit of his 'joke'.

His wife is humiliated, if uninjured. The neighbor's wife is coerced into first oral, then full blown sex, in front of both their spouses (spice?). The neighbor, is tasered, shocked, assaulted, shaved bald, burned and has BFF carved into his head. He finally has his life threatened, with a gun, before it's revealed that the whole setup is a 'joke'.

Ok.

Many of the readers feel that Jim was too hard on Roger. The payback was more than the original offence.

Duh. It was meant to be. That's why it's revenge. Not get-even. Nuclear option to end everything. Payback is a bitch. Big, hairy long-fanged bitch with fleas.

Sorry, if you're part of that crowd, please understand that writing an 'alternative' ending for me, is an exploration of how far you could take something. Hey, I didn't kill anyone, didn't even neuter anyone. Don't I get some brownie points for that?

With that said, numerous readers didn't like how I ended it. Too many questions about the aftermath. Jail time for Jim. Lawsuits. 

Since it was a joke, I ended things at the punchline. Leave something for the kind readers to imagine. Dream your own ending. 

Sorry, that's not how I see it. I admit, eagerly, he took things too far. Want to know how I imagined it working out afterward?

Read on.

===========================

I held the gun with the little pop-out 'Bang' flag in front of me, quite satisfied with myself. Now who doesn't have a sense of humor? Ha!

Oh well. Looks like nobody laughed but me. I guess some of those sounds coming out of Alice's mouth were laughter, somewhat hysterical, but laughter.

Roger passed out, so I wouldn't expect him to laugh. Flo was gagged and her mouth duct taped shut. No chuckles from her either.

I put the gun away, and dealt with Alice first. I was suddenly nervous. This all went so much further than I intended. I guess I got a little carried away. I did feel for Alice. She really seemed to believe I was going to kill her husband. The little line I had dropped about shooting him between the eyes, after the last prank, must have done it's job.

I retrieved the key off the wall and unlocked her neck and ankle restraints. I handed Alice her panties and bra, turning my head away, embarrassed at her nakedness in the aftermath. After she'd put them back on, I gave her the dress. She glared at me. 

"You went too far," she snapped. "Way too far."

"I know. Once I got going, I didn't know how to stop. If I didn't follow through to the end it would have all been for nothing."

She slapped me, hard. "Fuck you. That wasn't payback. If you just wanted to scare him with the gun, you could have left out the torture. You didn't have to fuck me. I might still have something left of a marriage."

I didn't mention her willingness to cuckold her husband. She had eagerly jumped at the opportunity. She didn't have to offer it all up so quickly. I'd have settled for a naughty make out session and a hand-job. Access to those titties of her. I wanted to humiliate him, not necessarily emasculate him. Que sera, sera. I'd let her blame it on me. There was no way this was going to end well anyway.

The adrenaline fading from my system, my anger abruptly assuaged, I felt myself starting to shake. I guess they weren't the only ones who could take a joke too far. I was no better than them. I no longer felt the joy I was expecting.

I went to my wife, and removed the duct tape from her mouth. The vitriol poured forth immediately. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Jim? You think that's funny? Scaring everyone to death? Fucking that slut in front of me? Torturing Roger? What the fuck!" 

I untied her hand, and received my second slap. Right on my ear, leaving it ringing. "You are the guys who love a joke," I reminded her.

"That wasn't a joke!" she screamed.

"Handcuffing me to a pole, and fucking where I could hear it was?" I argued.

"We didn't do it!" she snapped, while untying her other hand. I was already working on her foot.

"You chained me. You got naked, and let him get you off. That's cheating in my book."

"God damn it, Jim! You know we didn't mean for it to go that far."

I untied her other ankle. "Neither did I. I figured we'd do what you guys did. Tit for tat. When Alice offered more, I wasn't expecting it. I really thought we'd fool around, maybe a hand-job. I see how these stupid pranks get carried away."

"Carried away! You tortured him! Electric shock? Branding?"

"The shock looked worse than it was," I tried to explain. "I know, I tested it on myself. The conductive pads make it seem worse. His hair will grow back, and the BFF will be invisible but a reminder..."

I looked up at her, and saw her eyes grow wide. She screamed "No!" and my head exploded in pain before everything went black.

* * *

I slowly came to, and felt the clippers slide across my head, my hair tumbling down around me. I heard arguing, but I was still too fuzzy to make out the words.

I was all but naked again, and tied down to the chair. Fuck. This wasn't what I had planned. Not by any means. I felt the clippers cut another swath through my hair.

"He's awake," I heard my wife say.

"Another prank?" I asked. "This is getting ridiculous."

"What did he say?" Alice asked.

"I think he asked if it was another prank." Flo answered. "Don't do this Roger. Please. It has to stop. This is insane."

I felt the razor on my head, pulling at what little remained of my hair. "I guess nobody thought my joke was funny. Don't you guys have a sense of humor?"

"Hilarious," Roger said from behind me. I felt the stun baton at the back of my neck. The pain was acute, and I gasped. 

"I think we need matching scars, good buddy. Don't you think that would be fair?"

I had a hard time responding, after the shock. "Sure. Best friends, right?"

"I'll let you choose, burning or cutting."

"Burning works for me. I hate to see my own blood. If your hand's not too steady, you can let Alice do it. She deserves a little payback. None of this was her fault."

"I'll be just fine," Roger snapped.

"Make sure the tip is red hot, then only do about a half-inch at a time. They don't need to overlap."

"You want me to do it?" he asked warily.

"No. But I don't see much of a way out of it. Just do it right. I did."

I felt him apply the stencil to my head. I was kind of wishing I'd made the letters smaller. He had the torch going. "Use the glove. It gets really hot."

"I know. I saw what you did," he growled.

"Just trying to help, buddy."

I felt the first searing pain, and realized it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure, it stung like hell, but it was quick. I tried to hold my head still. I really didn't like the smell.

Alice spoke up after he finished the first vertical line. "I don't like this, Roger. This really needs to stop."

"Really? It's fine for him to carve up my head, but I can't do the same?"

"You started this, and you know you did. The two of you."

"So what? Now I'm going to finish it."

I held my head still as he worked on the horizontal lines. "No you're not. This won't be the end. As long as you keep going, I'm going to have to one-up you. You understand that, right?"

"You know what I'm going to do after this, don't you, BFF?" He asked, in between burns.

"No. Why don't you tell me?"

"I'm going to fuck your wife," he sneered.

That got a response from both women. Neither agreeing. Quite vociferously.

"What? He gets to fuck mine, and I don't get to do the same?"

I felt his hand slipping. "Damn it, Roger! Don't fuck up the design."

His hand pulled away abruptly. "Sorry."

"No problem. Just try to keep it neat, alright."

Flo was just staring at me. "You both are seriously fucked up. This stopped being funny a long time ago."

I laughed, and Roger held my head still. "Don't," he said.

"It stopped being funny that first time in the living room. I told you that. Why wouldn't you ever listen, Flo? You know I hated it, but you had to disrespect me, humiliate me, make fun of me. All I ever did was love you and forgive you, and you had to keep going. You and the asshole. You could have stopped it then," I told her.

"Alright," Flo answered. "Maybe we should have. It's too late to take it back. Alice is right, this needs to stop."

"I'm willing," I chuckled. "Fuck, Roger! That hurt."

"Stop moving. This isn't as easy as it looks."

Alice moved behind me. "Give me that. You're going to make a mess of it."

I felt her softer hand hold my head still, and the metal slid down my head. She seemed to have a steady, even hand.

"This is for scaring the hell out of me, you asshole. I really thought you were going to kill him and yourself."

"That was the idea wasn't it? If I didn't make it seem real, it wouldn't have been much of a joke."

She was faster, and smoother. I was a little worried that the three letters wouldn't look alike. Then again, I was planning on growing my hair back. Unlike Roger, I still had a pretty thick head of hair.

Roger was standing at the edge of my vision. I saw he'd managed to tie his shredded shirt around his waist. I was almost naked, wearing only boxers, and Flo was wearing my shirt. I realized I'd torn her dress and panties. She didn't have a lot of choice.

"We're going to be here a while, Flo. Why don't you go upstairs and put something on."

Roger looked over at her. "No! Don't I at least get a blow-job?"

I shook my head, forgetting what I was doing. Luckily Alice was reheating the tool. She smacked my head. "Stop moving."

"You don't get jack, Roger. Do what you want to me. I'm not going to ask you to touch my wife. I'm not a pussy, like you. You'll have to kill me first."

Flo snapped. "Shut up, both of you! Nobody is touching anybody. This has gone way too far." She walked around me, and I heard her bark at Alice. "Give me that. It's my turn. I can't believe the bastard fucked you right in front of both of us."

My head was throbbing. I guess the burning had some kind of delayed reaction. After Flo's first effort I asked for a break.

"Could I get a drink of that Scotch? It's starting to really sting."

Flo had nearly finished the down-stroke of the final 'F' when Alice held the bottle to my lips. I took a couple of deep swallows. "Thanks," I told her hoarsely.

She took a drink herself, and I watched her walk over to her husband. She sat in his lap. "Why would you chase her? Aren't I enough?" she asked softly.

He put his arms around her. "I'm an idiot. It just seemed like fun and games. We got carried away."

"That's a lie. You went after her. Jim was right. You wanted in her pants. You did everything you could. I don't understand why. Can you explain that?"

He was squirming, under the interrogation. He glanced over at us. "She gets me. I don't think you ever have. She laughs at my jokes. She thinks the pranks are funny. That was it. Of course she's pretty, but that wasn't what mattered."

"She gets your jokes. A hell of a reason to end 20 years of marriage," Alice said sadly.

"All done!" Flo announced. "Anything I should do now?"

"Cold compress for a couple of minutes, and then the lotion on the table," I explained. I turned my head to watch her. "Thanks, Flo. You know I never would have hurt you. I couldn't. Didn't take you very long to side with your lover and burn me, did it? You make everything so clear."

She stared at me angrily, but I could see her face reddening. "He's not my lover."

I imitated that little cry she made, when she came.

Alice and Roger had gotten up, and were looking at the finished product. "The B is kind of sloppy," Alice said.

"Hey, I did my best," Roger whined.

I felt the cold cloth against my head. "I don't think it looks half bad," Flo announced. "Can we stop this now?"

"You need some more payback, Roger? The electricity smarts like hell, but if you feel you still need more..."

"How the hell would you know? That was horrible."

I laughed, as Flo re-soaked the compress and held it against my head. "I tested it on myself first. Had to put it on a timer, it's hard as hell to turn it off, once it's going. You should try it at full blast. I damn near bit my lip off."

"Man, you really are messed up, aren't you?" Roger said softly.

"Me? This from the asshole who never knows when to stop. If you just could have left it alone, and not pulled that bottle shit, I could have gone with my original plan. But, noooo, you had to keep pushing."

"Jesus, Jim. That was totally harmless. I was just trying to show you that all was cool."

I could feel my blood pressure rising. "I TOLD YOU TO STOP!" I screamed. "Why couldn't you both just STOP?"

Flo was applying the lotion to my head, and the lidocaine was doing it's job.

"Why wouldn't you ever listen to me, Flo? How many times did I ask you to stop? How many times did I warn you it would go too far? Why couldn't you just stop?" I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. The burning couldn't do it, nor the taser. The thought of what we'd lost? Yeah.

"I loved you so much. I did. Why did you have to do this to us? Destroy everything we had? Why did you have to make me hate you?"

She stared at me in shock. "Why would you say that? You don't hate me?"

"My stomach churns when I look at you. I took you back, because I had to, if I was going to do my joke." I looked at her hard, eyes burning. "We had a chance, a tiny one. In spite of the cheating, the disrespect, the humiliation. I took you back, and I really was going to see if we could get better, get back to where we were before he came into the picture. I made love to you, even though it almost made me throw up. I hoped with time we could past it. The betrayal. The humiliation. Then the very first time we go out, you're back with him. He all but destroyed us, and you went back. Watching you laugh at me, after that last prank, that burned away the last shred of love."

"I wasn't laughing at you. It wasn't me! He used me!" she whined.

"How, Flo? How could he possibly use you? How was it possible that after all he'd done, you were even around him long enough to get used? How could you speak to him? All he ever wanted to do was belittle me in your eyes, so he'd have a better shot at getting in your pants. All you did was help him. You stopped loving me long before I ever stopped loving you."

She was crying. "Where are we now, then?"

"The divorce papers are done. When we're finished playing here, I'll give you your copy, while I decide what my next order of business with Roger is."

Flo slid to the floor, crying. Roger looked up at me. "What business with me?"

"You couldn't let it end could you? You said you would, but you've always been a cheat and liar. Despicable. No more pranks, you said. No more oneupmanship. You swore on your life it was over, if I let you live. Alice stood up for you, said you were a man of your word, even though all of us know otherwise. So here we are. Finish whatever you're going to do to me. Just know, that I was gentle this time. This time it was a joke. The next one won't be."

"Maybe I should kill you now, while I can?" Roger snapped. "How'd you like that ending of the joke?"

I laughed. "You should. You don't have the balls for it, but you should. Because when this is over, your life isn't worth a rat's ass." I glared at him. "Unlike you, I'm a man of my word, and I hope you realize by now I have the balls to do it."

Roger looked furious. He grabbed the stun baton, and started toward me. Flo staggered to her feet and stood in front of me. "You touch him one more time, you'll have to kill me too."

He stopped in shock. "Why? He did this to you too. Your marriage is toast. Don't defend the asshole."

She spit at him. "Asshole? My marriage is a mess because of you! He was right. I never saw it, but he was right all along. All the little digs, the slights, the insults. He was supposed to be your friend, but you were always putting him down, making fun of him, looking for some kind of joke to pull on him. Fuck, I was stupid. You tore him down, and I helped. You wanted to destroy my marriage, just to get in my pants. Well fuck you. He may hate me, but I still love him, and if you do anything else, I swear to God, I'll kill you myself. How's that for a punchline, Roger?"

"It wasn't like that, Flo, and you know it. I was just teasing. It was just a harmless joke," he said, shakily.

Alice had been standing by quietly. She always was the quiet one. Quieter than me. She walked over and stood in front of me. "Let's stop, Jim. Stop it now, Ok? No more payback. You went way over the line with me, and you know it, don't you?"

I glanced at her, but couldn't look her in the eye. I nodded. "I regret that. I do. You didn't deserve it. I wanted to destroy his marriage, just like he destroyed mine. I had to have my payback. I was wrong to include you in it."

She reached up and stroked the side of my face. "They pushed us too far. I forgive you, Jim. I'm begging you, end this." I saw the tears welling in her eyes, one single drop crawling down the side of her face. "I don't know if there's anything left for any of us from here. You three have destroyed four lives, and I've lost a marriage and best friends over it." She started crying harder. "I didn't do anything. Why me? Why destroy my life? Wasn't I a good wife? A good friend? Why? It's not fair!" She was shaking, sobbing before she finished.

Roger reached for her, and she jerked away from him. "Don't touch me! You started everything. Destroyed us all, just for a chance to fuck her. Don't come home. I don't know if I ever want to see you again."

Alice turned toward the stairs, and Flo went after her. "Alice."

"Get away from me. Some friend you were. Goading Roger on, playing up to him, encouraging him. All those God-damned jokes on Jim were jokes on me too. Why couldn't you stand up for your own man just once? Stand up for me, you're supposed best friend. Sure you were always soo sorry afterward, and then a little while later you'd be back at it again. I'm done with you too. I'm tired of forgiving you. No longer."

Flo reached for her. "You forgave Jim. Can't you forgive us?"

"Jim hurt me once. Never before today. He really was a friend. He was hurting, you guys drove him to it. He snapped. I can forgive him because I know he didn't want to hurt me. You two made a fucking game of it."

"Alice, we never intended..."

"STOP LYING!" Alice shrieked. "You knew EXACTLY what you were doing! No wonder he hates you, you faithless, cheating bitch! Let my husband play with your diseased cunt all you want." She turned and ran up the stairs, slamming the door behind her.




A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Epilogue



The room was quiet for a bit.

"That went well, don't you think?" I chuckled.

Flo sighed, and moved behind my chair, untying my hands. "Enough, Jim," she said softly.

Roger sat on the opposite chair. I noticed he was still practically naked. "Put some clothes on, Roger."

"Which? You cut up everything, remember?" He reached down and tucked his torn shirt between his legs.

"Go upstairs and take a shower. Grab some sweats and a t-shirt out of my closet," I said, rubbing my wrists which were aching. My fingers burned as the circulation returned to them.

He stood up, holding the shirt over his crotch. "I...uh...guess we're done here, for now?"

Flo was working on my ankles. "I think we've all done enough, don't you? Put something on."

He trudged up the stairs, while Flo released my other ankle. "You're not going to do anything stupid now, are you?"

"Not now. I'm tired, my head hurts, and to be honest, I feel like shit."

"Yeah. I know that feeling. For a while now." She stood. "Coming up?"

I shook my head. "I think I'll clean up a bit down here. I'll be up in a while." I walked over to my rag bin, and started cleaning up the mess. I should have made Roger clean up his own urine.

Flo turned away from the stairs, and started helping. She was putting away the air mattresses, where I'd misbehaved with Alice. "Did you have to fuck her? Couldn't you stop with the blowjob?"

I felt myself turning red. "I screwed up, Ok? I didn't think it would go that far. I figured at least a hand-job, to get even, you know? Not the rest. I was just caught up in it. Don't tell me you don't know what that's like." I had the Lysol out, scrubbing the chair and floor.

"We've made a mess of everything, haven't we?" she asked softly.

I was putting the tool back where they belonged, throwing out the disposables. "Yeah. It's too bad. We had a good thing, you know."

She moved the chairs back to the walls, and broke down the cameras. "I'm deleting this," she said.

I nodded. "Stupid idea."

"All of it was stupid," she said, working the cameras, one at a time.

"I had to do something. I had to. You didn't leave me any other choice."

"I know," she answered, breaking down the tripods.

I grabbed the Scotch and took a swig. "Drink?" I offered.

She gave me a wry little smile. "Sure." She took it, helped herself, and put it back where it belonged.

A few minutes later, other than a few out of place items, the place was back in order. She picked up the Samurai toy I'd used on her. She held it up and looked at me. "This was pretty bad."

I blushed, remembering what I'd done. "You seemed to like it."

She walked over to me. "How come you never wanted to play with something like this before?"

I shrugged. "Don't know. I was happy enough with the way things were. Sex was never our problem."

"No, it wasn't, was it. I am sorry. You were right about him, and I never saw it. I could have stopped all this a long time ago."

"He was seducing you. Just not any way you'd normally expect it. You're so good at deflecting the straight on attention. He came at you from your blindside."

"Don't make excuses for me now. You warned me, and I would just get mad at you. I screwed up." She was looking at the electronic dildo. "Can I keep this?"

I shrugged. "Sure. I bought it for you. I doubt you'll need it now. You're a gorgeous woman, Flo. I'm sure you'll have no shortage of suitors. Probably Roger, if you want him."

"Please don't, Jim. Don't. I messed up badly. Threw away all I ever wanted, for a joke. I doubt I'll be in any shape to move on anytime soon. I'm going to have to figure out how I let this happened, before I destroy anyone else's life."

She started for the stairs, just ahead of me. She stopped on the third one. "Do you really hate me?" she whispered.

I stepped up behind her, putting my arms around her. "Sometimes. I was very angry. I'll probably be again. Every time you laugh, I hear you laughing at me. Every time you come, all I can do is imagine you with him. The sound makes my wrists ache. It tears me up."

She nodded, pulling my hands free. She pulled up one arm, and gave me a kiss on the hand. "You deserve better."

She started back up the stairs, and I watched her sexy figure, hid behind the shirt of mine that was way too big for her. Maybe I did deserve better. I'd be damned if I knew where I was going to ever find it.

I took a shower, and threw on shorts and a shirt. It was after 3:00 am. I went downstairs, and I saw Roger was sitting there nervously, drinking a beer.

"Help yourself, buddy," I said. "You've always been comfortable with helping yourself to my belongings." I got some milk, my stomach was upset.

"We really messed up, didn't we," he said.

I shrugged.

"Is it over? Can we end it?" he asked.

"I don't care. I'm out of here. Screw over your next neighbor. No more jokes on me. Fuck her if you want. She's not mine anymore."

Flo walked in on us. "Haven't you guys had enough? Come on, let's call it a night. This has been a horrible day." She turned to me. "Is it alright if he sleeps on the couch? Tonight only. Tomorrow he can either go home, or get a motel."

"Whatever," I said. I got up and grabbed my briefcase. I opened it on the table, and Flo reached out and held it closed. 

"Not tonight, Jim. Please? Tomorrow. We can do it tomorrow, I won't stand in your way. Let's go to bed, one last time as husband and wife. I'd like to sleep beside you and wake up next to you once more, for old time's sake. Twenty-three years. Please."

I was completely burned out. No longer feeling anything. Not love, not hate, not anger, not even disappointment. I just wanted it over. I reached my hand out to her, taking hers in mind. She linked her fingers through mine. She turned to Roger. "Be gone by noon."

In the bedroom, she took my shirt off and asked me to sit on the bed. She went into the bathroom and came out with our first aid kit in hand. She put some lotion on my head, and covered my burn with a pair of large gauze bandages. "Bald isn't so good on you," she said with a chuckle. "Grow it back."

I nodded, checking the bandage with my fingers. She washed her hands, then came back to the bedroom, and stripped off her night shirt. She still looked beautiful to me. I was going to miss that body.

She saw my look, and smiled. "I know. I'm going to miss all of you, too."

Flo climbed in the bed, turning down the covers on my side. "Kill the lights?"

I did, and slipped in beside her. 

"Can I hold you?" she asked.

I reached out for her, and she slid into my arms so naturally. Twenty-three years does that. Her head rested on my chest, arm thrown across me, leg over mine. "I do love you, you know," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. I love you too. All the time that I don't hate you."

I let her cry, stroking her back soothingly. 

* * *

I woke slowly, feeling her body pressed against mine. I reached out for her automatically, cuddling up to her, and wrapping her in my arm. I buried my head in her hair, breathing deep. She purred sweetly, leaning into me, moving my hand up to her breast.  

I was hard, pressed up between her cheeks. Her hips pressed back against me, lifting her top leg over mine. I rubbed back and forth, feeling her hips tilting backward, inviting me. My cock slid into her, before I realized what I was doing.

I tensed up, and she reached back, holding my hip. "Still yours," she murmured. "For a little while longer."

I eased deeper into her, languidly, sliding in and out slowly, accepting her weight against my chest. I nuzzled her neck lazily, holding her breast. Her hips ground back against me, while I pushed into her a little more urgently. I grabbed the inside of her thigh, pulling her leg open more, and thrust deeper, harder.

Instinctively, my hand slid down to her crotch, rubbing her clit in little circles, while I fucked her. She moaned for me, and I heard her tell-tale signs. She was groaning sweetly, getting close. I was expecting her to finish, when she pulled the pillow into her mouth, biting down on it.

I knew her too well. She remembered what I'd said about the sound of her orgasm hurting me. I pulled the pillow roughly away from her. "Come for me," I told her. "Let me hear it. That's my sound."

She trembled, too far lost in her own pleasure to respond with words. I fucked her harder, the soft high-pitched squeal taking shape, growing stronger, piercingly loud, until her body stiffened.

I kept pumping her, not too far from my own release. She gasped, "Oh my God," and her hips went crazy against me. I tugged on her nipple, squeezing it, and she whimpered softly. I slammed into her, coming hard, and heard that sweet keening or hers as she came for me again.

I stayed inside of her, breathing hard, while she leaned back against me, arms akimbo, smiling sweetly.

No, sex had never been our problem.

When I finally fell out of her, she rolled over and climbed on top of me. "Thank you."

I held her, kissing the top of her head. I reached down and grabbed her full ass cheeks, giving them a squeeze.

She kissed my neck. "Can I say something?" she asked nervously.

"Go ahead."

"I love you, and I don't want a divorce, but I'll give you one if you want. If you change your mind, I'll be better. No more jokes. I won't even speak to that bastard. You can stay, you can move out, whatever you need to do. It'll take a few months for it go through. Anytime up until that last day, I'll be here for you. Until that day, I'll never turn you down. In my eyes, you'll be my husband until the courts say otherwise. I won't beg, I won't plead, and I won't bother you anymore. Once we leave this bed, it's up to you, but you need to know, I'll be praying every night that this nightmare ends and you take me back." She rose up and kissed me softly on the lips. "I'm sorry, but I had to say it. You need to know. I love you more than anything, and will always regret what I did."

"I need time."

"All you need. Even after we're divorced, if there's still even the faintest chance for us, tell me, and I'll wait for you."

"That wouldn't be fair to you," I told her softly.

"I'm 46 years old, Jim. All my adult life, I've dreamed of these last years with you, our kids grown up, time for just the two of us. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to."

"I'm sorry, Flo. I don't know how to get past what happened. Besides, I screwed up pretty badly. I had sex with your best friend. That will always be between us now."

She chuckled. "Sex? You fucked the shit out of her. If you don't stay with me, you damn well better give her a chance. You've ruined her now."

"How can you joke about that?" I asked.

She gave me a squeeze. "It's that or cry. I don't want to cry. Not yet. Let me have these last few minutes together."

I held her a little longer, then gave her one last long warm kiss. I got out of our bed, and hit the bathroom. I started the shower, and made room for her when she climbed in with a me a little later. We scrubbed each other, and when she slid into my arms, I held her, quietly, until the water started to get cold.

Afterward, I watched her get dressed, covering up that body which had been my personal playground for half my life. Damn that Roger.

We held hands all the way down to the living room, silent. A blanket was folded on the end of the couch, and there was a note on it. Simple enough, "Thank you. I'm sorry."

Too little, and way too late.

Flo stood next to me, and followed while I went to the table, opening the brief case. I pulled out the papers, and her hand finally fell free of mine as she took them. I felt the moisture in my own eyes, as she sat down with the papers in front of her, crossed her arms over them, and rested her head on her forearms, the tears flowing.

I went and made coffee, staying in the kitchen until it was ready. I poured her a cup as well and brought it to her. She took it gratefully.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked.

"I don't know. I didn't really think that far ahead. I'll start with apologizing to Alice."

She nodded. "I'll do that same, but I think it's best if we do it separately. Until you have a place to stay, I'll move into the guest room if you like."

"No. You keep the Master, it'll be easier for me. Moving your bathroom stuff alone would take a 3-man moving crew."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you. My door will never be closed. Anytime you want to share my bed, it doesn't have to mean anything more than what it is."

I nodded, but I'm pretty sure she understood that wasn't going to happen. Too painful.

"Breakfast?" she asked.

"Not now. I'm not very hungry."

"Me either." She got up and gave me a hug. "Thank you for this morning. I'll remember if forever."

I gave her a squeeze and turned away before she had me crying again. 

* * *

Alice wasn't forgiving. At least not to Roger and Flo. She and I got along well enough. I was a shoulder to cry on. Shared misery. Maybe a little more than that. She had Roger served and he found an apartment, half-way across town, and I didn't see him for several months. She was still very angry with Flo, and it didn't look like they'd ever be the same again. Not much surprise there.

Flo and I lived like friends. I didn't hate her. I never really had. She went out and got a job, explaining that she'd need it in a few months. She cried a lot, but only late at night, when she thought I couldn't hear her. Several times I was tempted to visit her bedroom, but I managed to stop myself.

I received lectures from my family and hers, from the kids, even from Alice. I needed to forgive her. Hell, I'd done worse than she had. They were right, but still, I didn't see how I could. Maybe I was too damn stubborn for my own good. I no longer trusted her. She'd promised so many times to stop her shit, and where had we ended up. She didn't respect me. Humiliated me. She made a game of cuckolding me. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Our divorce went through just two days before Alice's did. I moved next door, and Alice and I had a torrid relationship for a couple of months. We saw Flo regularly, and it felt awkward at first, but we became friendly. Strange, Flo and Alice finally buried the hatchet, and it was almost like old days.

Flo started dating. It took a while, but she finally went out on a few dates. I never saw her bring anyone home, but I'm pretty sure she had some intimate times. She stayed out all night at least once. She talked to Alice about them. I was never privy, but it seemed like she wasn't ecstatic with the results. I wasn't paying that much attention, I no longer had that right.

Alice and I didn't stick. We tried, and the sex was good. Never as good as that first time, but pretty intense. We didn't have the chemistry I'd had with Flo, and it wasn't long before we both knew it. Maybe it wasn't fair to compare her.

We were lying together late one night, after somewhat perfunctory sex.

"You're going to be leaving soon, aren't you?" she said softly, starting at the ceiling.

"This isn't fair to you," I told her. "We're not going anywhere in this relationship are we?"

She sighed. "Do you even want to?"

"I think maybe this was too soon, for us. All my feelings are so raw."

"How long?"

"End of the month?" I asked.

"Hold me?" she asked, her voice breaking.

I held her until we both fell asleep.

The last week together, we coupled like frenzied rabbits. We rarely made love. We fucked each other like each time would be the last. All over the house. On a moment's notice. We finally got to know each others needs and likes, and it got better. Much, much better. I was almost to the point of changing my mind. Almost.

When I started looking for an apartment, Flo found out, and cornered me. "Live with me," she said simply.

"I don't think I can," I told her.

"Bullshit. Come home, Jim. Even if it has to be like it was those last six months."

"What if I want to date?"

I could see it hurt her. "I'll give you your space. I can even stay with Alice if you want an overnighter."

It was foolish, but I missed her. I moved back. Path of least resistance. I was paying for the house anyway.

I did try to date for a while, before I realized I was happier over dinner at home with her than I was with anyone else. It took me another six months to figure that one out. She was patient with me, but I saw how much she hated it every time I left. Especially those nights I called and said I wouldn't be home. That was only three times, but each one, I think hurt me almost as much as they hurt her.

"I'm going out this Friday," I told her one evening.

"Why are you telling me? You can go out whenever you want." She looked concerned. "Is it...? Do...do you want me out of the house."

"Yes," I told her, trying to hide my smile.

She sighed. "I'll talk to to Alice."

"I'd rather you didn't. I was hoping you could go to La Trattoria." La Trattoria had been our favorite. 

"Why?" 

"That's were we'll be eating dinner," I told her with a grin.

She looked surprise, then grinned. "Jim! Are you asking me out?"

"Flo, would you go to dinner and dancing with me?"

She smiled. "Well, I'll have to change a few plans but I think I could squeeze you in."

We started dating on weekends. It was exclusive. Two weeks later we ended up on the couch, kissing like teenagers. By the end of the month we were back in bed together. I came home the next day, and my stuff was moved back into the bedroom.

"Getting ahead of yourself?" I teased.

"God, I hope not. I don't want to spend another night apart from you."

Alice was our best friend. We spent a lot of evenings together, eating dinner, having drinks, just hanging out. She was dating again, and we double dated several times. After her first relationship breakup several weeks after Flo and I were sharing a bedroom, she ended up in our bed, after crying on Flo's shoulder all night.

It wasn't anything I'd ever expected or even dreamed of. They didn't do anything together, I guess that would be too much to hope for, but I took turns on them, throughout the night, and the next morning as well. I knew them both so well, it was easy and natural. I don't know if it was having a third person there, but it was incredible for all three of us, and I got to hear Flo's special finish numerous times, as well as Alice's delicious gasping grunts when she was fulfilled. They took turns blowing me, getting me ready for each new session, each one preparing me for the other. I felt like I was 20 again, energetic, hard as steel, getting off four times that night, the last time seemingly lasting forever. I would have thought four times was impossible. Hell, three times was highly improbable.

I think we were all feeling a little weird about it the next day, and we didn't talk about it. A couple of months later, I came home to both of them drunk and horny, and it happened again. They teased me mercilessly until I took them both to bed. It wasn't quite as good, but it was still pretty amazing. The morning after was even better, and we spent most of it in bed, playing. And yes, we talked about it. We talked about when we'd do it again. 

Flo and I are still not married, and I don't know if I want to go there. We're talking about our future, and we have more money than ever, with her working. We're saving tons, and talking about retiring early. We see Eric and his new wife at least once a month, he's doing well. Patty will be graduating any day now. To be honest, life is pretty much what Flo and I had hoped for, when we planned our future. All except the missing ring on her finger.

Alice is a regular. She's still dating, and whenever she's intimate with someone, we don't see her. She'll show up one evening, overnight bag in hand, and we'll be on again. It happens at least twice a week when she's not seeing anybody. I'm thankful to the inventor of Viagra.




A Joke Ch. 02 - Texan's Epilogue



Lately, she's been spending a lot of evenings at our house. She and Flo are talking about a vacation for the three of us. Our families are overjoyed that Flo and I are back together, and nobody talks about the fact that we're not married. If anyone's aware of the relationship with Alice, they never bring it up.

I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a while. I sometimes think back to how things were for about a year, when things were at their worst. I rarely let the sounds of Flo coming get to me. I've reclaimed that wonderful sound for myself. Sometimes she'll rub the back of my head, through my hair, feeling for the scars. She doesn't say anything, but I know what she's thinking. She tends to get real lovey-dovey after that.

There's a lot of love and laughter in our home now. No jokes or pranks of any kind. None at all. 

It works for me.

========================

That's it. There will be no epilogue to the epilogue. A joke carried too far. Payback carried even further. Marriages broken. Relationships shattered. Luckily, most of us are pretty resilient, and it's true that time heals. I chose this ending because at heart, I guess I'm a romantic, and I want people to be happy. Even those who make mistakes. Especially pretty girls. I confess, I have a weakness for those. In the end, I'll normally choose the happy ending.

Except for that damn Roger. He got cancer, testicular. Lost a ball. Picked up three strains of VD from a transvestite hooker. Got fired from his job. Crashed his car. His dog died. He stubs his toe at least twice a day. Someone keeps stealing his newspaper. Gained 60 pounds. His computer gets a virus at least once a week. He lost a second job, and at his latest he asks "Do you want fries with that?" He drives a moped. That's right. A fucking moped. 

The high point of his day is when he gets on Literotica and leaves charming comments on stories that other people spend dozens of hours working on, spewing forth vile, poorly written, grammatically incorrect rubbish. Yes, he's Anonymous. 

Of course I'm not writing about my Anonymous commenters, for the most part they're reasonable, have good points, and I appreciate their input. Really, it's true. I have no complaints.

No, we're talking about Roger here. 

Fuck you Roger. 



A Joke - My Ending



Edited by: HannahAarons.

When I read Agena's story "A Joke" I wondered if I would have handled the situation as Jim did, if it had been me. I came to the conclusion that no, I would do it differently. Thinking about it for some time, I asked Agena if I could write how I would have tackled the problem if one of my friends and my wife had played a joke on me as Roger and Flo did on Jim. I advice you to read Agena's story first if you have not read it before -- at least the first chapter. I start my ending at the point where Jim is released from the handcuffs:

*

The noise from upstairs ended, followed by a deafening silence. Blood was dripping from my wrists and I was hurting from my struggle to get free from the bar I was cuffed to. After a while I heard their steps coming down the stairs and two grinning faces appeared in the open door. They started to laugh loudly at me, but when they saw me on the floor, with bloody wrists, their laughter changed character, it became sickeningly hysterical. It slowly dawned upon them that this time they had gone too far, and the laughter faded away. I heard a sob from Flo and a faint whisper, "I'm so sorry, Jim, it was just a joke, it was just a joke". 

Roger came forward, inserted the key in the handcuffs and unlocked them. When released, I got up from the floor, looked at my wrists and shook my head and said, "This time you went too far," and without one look I turned my back to them and walked out the door and up the stairs. First, I made a visit to their bathroom and cleaned up my hands and then I went into their living room, found a chair and I waited for them to join me.

After some time, they came. Flo looking very nervous and Roger trying to look cocky, making a feeble attempt to laugh it away saying, "It really worked, didn't it? You really thought we were fucking, didn't you?" 

I replied in a voice I hoped sounded like ice, "In my mind, you did fuck, whatever you say is of no importance, you fucked either my wife or my mind. Both equally distasteful, and if meant as a joke, it was surely a sick joke. I don't want to make any comments before Alice is here. She was sent on a fool's errand, I suspect? Right?" When Roger gave a faint nod, I continued, "I will make my comments when she is back." I looked at my watch and said, "She should be back any minute now, she has been gone less than an hour. Twenty minutes to the hospital, twenty minutes back and a few minutes to find out she has been fooled should be about right."

I had barely completed my sentence before we heard her enter the house through the front door. She came right in, fuming at Roger; "What in hell are you up to this time?" 

"Sit down Alice, I will tell you," I said. 

After Alice had been told what had happened and heard Flo and Roger profusely saying it was just meant as an harmless joke, she started to cry. "They never learn, do they, Jim?" 

"No, they don't. Before I make my up my mind how to handle the situation, I would very much like to talk it over with you. The private joke club Roger and Flo are members of does not include us. Whether any physical fucking went on today, or if it was physiological fucking is of no importance to me, I am fucking mad at both Flo and Roger, I want to discuss with you what to do if you agree." 

"Yes, I do," she replied. 

"Fine," I looked over to Flo and said to her, "Hand over your house keys, we are going over to our house to talk, you two can sit here and stew for a while." Flo gave me her keys with a meek smile which I did not return, and Alice and I got up and left them, with no further comments. 

We crossed over to our house and I asked Alice to pull all curtains in the windows facing their house, while I went round the house and secured all doors. 

I asked her into the kitchen and found two glasses. A bottle of red wine was opened and I poured one glass for each of us. 

"Cheers, Alice," I said, "Now we have to stop this madness." We both sipped the wine, and I continued, "These jokes have to stop. This time, they went too far, they should try their own medicine." 

"Yes, I agree, but how?" she replied. 

"This is what I suggest: You stay here in our house tonight with me, and before you make any protests, I do not suggest you sleep in my bed. You can have the spare bedroom, and I sleep in our bedroom. I will however, move around in both beds, I will stimulate myself and ejaculate on my belly and smear the semen out on the sheets. I will rough up the bed and make it look like we have had a night with heavy fucking. In the morning, we will invite our spouses over for breakfast and they will wonder what has happened here. Flo will find the bed in disarray, she will find an unmade bed in the guest room, and she will still accuse us of cheating. We will say it was just a joke. They will never know the truth, they will understand what it means to have this doubt. Can your marriage survive a scheme like this, Alice?" 

"Yes, if not, I don't give a shit. Let's do it, the only comment I have is that I do not like the idea of them being together the whole night in our house," Alice replied. 

"I'll fix that," I said. I went to the phone and dialled Flo's cell phone. 

When she answered, I said, "Flo, this is going to be tough riding, and I don't want you to come home tonight. I am so mad I might hurt you, so I suggest you go to your sister, Mary, and stay there. I will put the car keys under the doormat, and I insist you go to Mary's now. If you do, you are welcome to breakfast 9 o'clock tomorrow morning and we can talk." 

She agreed, and five minutes later I heard our car drive away. 

"That problem is solved, let's make some food and enjoy ourselves," I said to Alice. 

"Yes, let's do that, I will see what we can find in the refrigerator," she replied, "But what about Roger?" 

"We'll let him worry for a few hours, and at one point, he will start to wonder what is going on and he will call us. Then we tell him that you are going to stay in our guest room tonight and he is welcome to have breakfast with us at 9 o'clock to talk. Flo would have told him that she will be here at 9 o'clock, too. He will then be seriously worried. After we have talked to him, we unplug the house phone and shut off our cell phones," I said. 

Alice smiled, gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, "You are devious, Jim. I like your thinking." 

We had an wonderful evening, on our second bottle of red wine. The time was about half past eleven when the phone rang. It was, of course, Roger asking for Alice. I heard only her side of the conversation, and it something like this: 

"I will not come home tonight, Jim has offered me the use of their guest room...... No, Roger, I will not see you tonight, if you have problem with this, I will not come home to you at all...... Yes, you have behaved like a jerk, so right you are. We are both fed up with you and Flo, so the one final talk about this is here tomorrow morning for breakfast, be here 9 o'clock sharp. Good night!" 

We cleaned up the kitchen, made it ready for the breakfast the next day and retired upstairs. I showed Alice to the guest room, with a bathroom en suite, and kissed her good night on the cheek. 

I had not been in bed more that 10 minutes before there was a knock on the door. 

"Is it you Alice?" I asked. 

"Can I come in?" She opened the door before I could answer. I could see her with the back light from the stairs, she was naked. I said nothing. 

She came slowly up to our bed, lifted the duvet on Flo's side, slid herself in and pulled the duvet up to her chin. 

She looked at me and said, "Jim, have you started to make a mess?" 

I laughed. "No, not yet. I find it hard to have an erection because I see Roger and Flo in my mind," I replied. 

She leaned over and kissed me. "I want to help, I like you, and I want us to make love. It will make no difference for Roger and Flo what we do. They will have their doubt anyway. They have fooled us so many times now that I have no problem going all the way with you tonight. If all goes well tomorrow, and they promise no more jokes, this will be a once in a lifetime experience. Is that okay with you, Jim?" 

I never gave her an answer, I kissed her deeply, our tongues intertwined, our hands went exploring and we made love. This was not a revenge fuck, It was lovemaking between good friends, who explored all possibilities they could think of and got very little sleep that night. It was glorious. 

Next morning we kissed and made love once more before taking a shower and going downstairs, preparing breakfast. Before leaving the bedroom, I looked at the bed and smiled to myself. Flo would have a hard time with this. I wondered what her reaction would be. Would she believe it was only a 'joke'? I hoped Alice could keep a straight face and not give us away. I was sure I could keep my posture, not to cave in and tell the truth. 

Breakfast table all set for 4, coffee and toast ready, scrambled egg and ham all prepared and precisely 9 o'clock our car came up the driveway. A few seconds later the door bell chimed and we let both Roger and Flo in. 

They looked as they had little sleep, too, and they were not so cheerful as Alice and I. When all were seated, I said we should eat first and then talk. When all had their fill, we took each a cup of coffee with us to the living room for our chat. 

I looked at Flo and asked her, "Do you want to remain married to me? Will you, in the future, respect me as your husband and never pull a so-called 'joke' stunt on me again? Yes or no?" 

"Yes," she whispered, and looked down in shame. 

"Then tell me why I should believe you," I replied. 

"We never did anything, it was all verbal. I have never lied to you, and I do not lie now, we never did anything, you have to believe me. And I now understand that we really did go too far this time." 

"Do you? There is no way to know the truth, I have only yours and Roger's word for it. And you have given your promise before that no further jokes would not be pulled on me. I just wonder if you are totally stupid or have a serious lack of memory. Have you forgotten your earlier promises?" 

Flo cried and could barely whisper a faint "no" between her sobs. After a while, she looked up at me and said, "Roger tells me that Alice has stayed with you the whole night, is that true?" 

"She has been in our house, yes. She slept in our guestroom. We had a lot to talk about, and she did not want to be with Roger. She was just as angry as I was," I replied and continued, "Why don't we all go upstairs and inspect the bedrooms?" 

All four of us climbed the stairs. First I led them into the guestroom and showed that the bed had been slept in, although it was quite obvious to all. Then we went to the master bedroom. Flo entered and became still for a few seconds, taking in the rumpled bed, the wet stains on the sheets and the smell of sex, then screamed, "You cheating bastard, you have not slept in our bed alone, how could you?!" 

Alice and I started to laugh, pointing our fingers at Roger and Flo. "You took the bait, hook and sinker, you really believe we have had sex, don't you? Ha! Ha! Ha! It's just a joke. Just a joke!" 

Flo stared at me with fire in her eyes, ready to send more abuse in my direction, she opened her mouth and closed it, opened it again like a fish gulping for air and it suddenly dawned on her she was on the receiving end and she didn't like it one bit. She started to cry, and turned around and walked downstairs. We all followed her quietly. 

When seated in the living room, Flo looked at me and in a low voice asked me, "Was it really a joke? How can you explain the state of the bed, the fact that Alice was in the house, and nothing happened?" 

"We went to bed around midnight, Alice in the guestroom and me in our bedroom, of course. I used both beds, tossed about a lot, played with myself and ejaculated on my belly without cleaning up. So, during the night the semen stains and smell got into the sheets and linen. Whether you believe it or not, well that's your problem. I don't care. I have to live with the fact that I was cuffed to a bar in the basement while you made love to Roger upstairs. Should I believe you more than you believe me? I heard you, you have not heard or seen anything more than a rumpled bed. So who believes what is a question we have to live with if you still want to be married to me," I replied. 

During my little speech, Roger kept quiet and I could see he had problems accepting my explanation. But after I had said my say, he looked me in the eyes and said, "Jim, I apologise, you are so right. I have at least has got your message loud and clear. If we still can be friends, I will give you my absolutely promise: I will never again pull a joke on you which involves any sexual hints with Flo or anybody else. Can you accept my apology, please?" 

"Yes, I can," was my reply and I continued, "I think it is time for me to talk this out with Flo privately, and you and Alice to do the same. However, for the time being, I would not like Flo to go to your house alone. We need a cooling-off period. Alice is welcome in our house, but you, Roger, are kindly requested to stay away for some time. I need to get distanced from what happened in your basement. But, given time, maybe we can be mates again." 

Alice got up, came up to me, gave me a hug and whispered, "Thank you, I had a wonderful night I will always remember." She went over to Flo, hugged her also, and then Alice and Roger left. 

Flo came to me, put her arms around me and said, "My answer is yes, I still want to remain married to you. I don't know what to believe. Did you and Alice make love last night or not? I can only say that if you did, and if it was only a once in a lifetime occurrence, I will forgive you. I really did deserve it. Would you forgive me if Roger had fucked me, as we let you believe?" 

"No Flo, I would not." 

"That's okay, Jim, because it was only a joke. I don't have a clue how big his cock is. Maybe one day, you will have the opportunity to see if he is bigger or not. I don't know now. I'm truthfully satisfied with yours and the pleasure you give me. Can we go upstairs and make up please?" 

And that was precisely what we did. 

The End.



A Joke: Surviving Armageddon



Foreword: READ THIS FIRST

After reading Agena's "A Joke", then reading all of the endings, I wasn't ever really satisfied with any of them. Even Triple T's "Texas Ending" and "Texas Epilogue" just didn't sit right with me. I understand where he's coming from, and both his Ending and Epilogue are 5 star reads. However, I just felt my teeth itching to take Agena up on his invitation to write my own.

READ "A Joke" first, if you haven't already. I take over this one as the "sex session" between Roger and Flo is wrapping up.

FAIR WARNING: This is going to be kind of dark and violent. It explores the ramifications of not just cheating, but of the trust lost even if the cheating never really happened. It also explores the consequences of the Revenge itself. If that offends you, stop now and move on to something else. If you read it, then complain about the content, that makes your complaint NMP [Not My Problem]

Everyone else, please enjoy the ride. :)

I.D. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. There I was, trapped and handcuffed in Roger Berman's basement. I'd been struggling to get out of the damned handcuffs that he'd locked me to the pipe with, and was having no luck, other than to rub my wrists raw and bleeding.

My wife's pleas to Roger to "fuck me harder" and "make me come" had enraged me beyond what I thought possible. Now, I've always had a bit of a temper, but nothing had ever filled me with this much pure, primal, unadulterated rage and fury!

"Unadulterated." I muttered to myself with a bitter laugh. "Can't believe I thought of that word in this situation!"

I growled low in my throat as the primal fury that comes from deep within our primitive animal "caveman" psyche that's inside all of us came forward. I'd just had to listen to another man fuck my wife, for God's sake! Now, there might be some guys who get off on that bullshit, but I'm not one of them.

I heard them moving around and whispering to each other. I heard them talking about Alice coming back soon, and that it wouldn't be good for her to catch them in bed together. Their cavalier attitude about the whole thing drove the point home for me all the harder.

All of a sudden, a sadness came over me as I realized that there was no going back from this. Flo, the love of my life, the woman I had wanted to grow old with, had just betrayed me in one of the worst ways possible. I'm not sure where the thoughts came from, but I just KNEW that they couldn't let me live after this. Flo had to know that our marriage was over, and I would never forgive them. They had to know that I would tell Alice everything. She would divorce Roger, and take him to the cleaners. I knew that I was a dead man.

I was openly sobbing when I heard their footsteps on the stairs coming down to the basement. How would they do it? A single gunshot to the head, execution style? Would they torture me first? Fuck, I would rather be waterboarded than have to listen to them fucking and ruining two marriages! I was broken from my self-destructive reverie by Roger's voice.

"Oh, shit! Look at his wrists! They're all bloody!" Roger said with a hint of fear in his voice.

"Honey, it was just a joke. Nothing happened. Oh God, I'm so sorry. Hurry up Roger, unlock the cuffs so we can get his wrists bandaged. Oh God, oh God. I never thought he'd take it this hard." Flo seemed genuinely concerned. I nearly laughed at that, if I hadn't been so bone tired. Hell, my SOUL was tired of it all. Was this another sick joke of theirs before the end? Were they going to make me think they would let me live, just to execute me for the crime of trusting my wife?

I blinked a few times, the tears streaming down my face. The look on Roger's face was one of concern and even a bit of fear, but I could detect something else. Smug satisfaction in the twitch of his lip as he couldn't hide the fact that he'd just fucked my wife. The rage built in me again, and from some previously unknown reserve of that primal, primeval, animal, caveman fury, I found my strength returning.

He uncuffed my right hand, and I let it drop as he undid the cuff from my left hand. My expression of utter defeat hadn't changed. Outwardly, I appeared the same as when they'd found me as I fell to my knees.

"We have to get his wrists cleaned up before they get infected!" Flo shouted to Roger. "Where is your first-aid..." Her words died off as I finally acted.

Like a rattlesnake, my hands shot out as I grabbed Roger around his throat. Nothing could break my iron grip, and my knee was a blur as I stood up with him, kneeing him in the balls over and over and over again. "HOW'S"-knee-to-balls-"THIS"-knee-to-balls-"FOR"-knee-to-balls-"A"-knee-to-balls-"FUCKIN'"-knee-to-balls-"JOKE"-knee-to-balls-"YOU"-knee-to-balls-"SORRY"-knee-to-balls-"SACK"-knee-to-balls-"OF"-knee-to-balls-"SHIT!!!"-knee-to-fuckin'-balls.

"You rotten shit eating son of a whore!" I shouted in his face, spit flying from my lips as my hands tightened on his throat and my knee repeatedly slammed into his crotch. "You just had to do it, didn't you, you sack of fucking shit?! You motherfucking piece garbage!" I kept up the steady assault on his balls with my other knee, now. My right leg had gotten tired.

Roger at first tried screaming through my grip on his throat, and made the mistake of grabbing my arms to try and break my grasp. That wasn't going to happen. Years of working with my hands and arms had made them tough as rawhide and strong as iron. By the time I landed my umpteenth knee into his groin, he was incoherent and barely conscious from the intense pain I knew he had to be feeling. I'd been in enough bar fights in my life to know how it feels to be kicked in the balls. It was time to show this motherfucking son of a bitch what it was like too!

"Stop it, Jim!" Flo shouted at me over and over as I battered her lover's balls with my knees. She finally found the nerve to grab my arm to get me to release him.

I glared at her with a look of pure venom. "Get your hand off me, you damned dirty SLUT!" I shouted at her, paraphrasing one of the greatest movie lines of all time. That was for you, Mr. Heston, God Rest Your Soul.

She removed her hand from my arm like it had been burned. Tears were streaming down her face as she sobbed apology after apology at me. "It was just a joke, baby. Nothing happened!" became her mantra.

I noted that Roger was unconscious now, so I dropped him like the sack of shit he was. He was still breathing, so I knew I hadn't killed him... yet. I was admittedly still debating whether or not to do so.

"Give me your cellphone. I need to call 911, and you're crying too much to be coherent." I said it in a calmer tone of voice, and held out my hand to her. She wordlessly reached into her pocket and pulled out her iPhone, handing it to me as she continued to sob and cry.

I hit 911 and the operator came on immediately. "911, please state the nature of your emergency."

"Yes, my name is Jim Reynolds and I'm calling to report a crime." The tears from Flo stopped at that, and she looked at me with dawning horror on her face.

I continued. "I'm at my next door neighbor's house. His name is Roger Berman. He and my wife Florence Reynolds handcuffed me and forced me to listen to them fucking. My wrists are a bloody mess, so I will need an ambulance as well as the police to this address." I gave the lady the address. "I felt in fear of my life, and assaulted Roger when he released me. He will need an ambulance too."

"Jim, the police and EMTs have been dispatched to the address you gave me," she informed me.

"Thank you," I responded. I hung up and looked at Flo.

"Oh my God!" Flo shouted. Her face was now a mask of terror as she realized what she had done and allowed to happen.

I decided to throw her a lifeline. "Florence, if you tell the truth about what Roger did to me and what you allowed him to do to me, I will recommend that you not go to jail. If you try to lie, I will kill you right in front of the cops. I've never raised my hand to you in anger before, but right now, I'm a cunt hair away from killing both you and this asshole." I punctuated that with a kick to his probably already ruined balls, which woke him up momentarily. He screamed like a little girl and passed out again.

Her look of shock and terror was priceless. Did I still love her? No. She had killed my love for her with the constant disrespect and then this last humiliation. Was I prepared to kill her? Tempted as I was, no. But right then, I didn't want her to know that.

"Do you understand me?" I finally asked. She was still in shock that I would say such things to her.

Her eyes were haunted as she looked at me. "Yes," she nodded. "Oh, God, Jim. I'm so, so sorry! It really was just a joke, baby! I swear to God, it will never happen again!"

I nodded solemnly. "You're right, Florence." She hated it when I called her that, but the shock was so deep in her that she hadn't even called me on it. "It won't happen again. Ever."

I guess the finality of my words was enough to partially snap her out of her fugue. Her eyes snapped upward to mine. "What does that mean?"

There was a hard knock at the door as the cops arrived. I just shook my head at Flo and went up the stairs from the basement to the front door.

When I opened the door, the cops were already on edge. The EMTs and ambulance were waiting on the cops to clear them to enter.

"I'm Jim Reynolds. I'm the one who called you guys." I nodded to them, then showed them my wrists. "Roger Berman is unconscious in the basement. He is going to need more medical attention than I do."

"Ok, may we enter?" Sergeant Cooper, the older cop asked.

I shrugged and stepped aside. Flo had followed me up from the basement, her anguish clear on her face. "Ma'am? Are you ok?" The younger cop, Officer Daniels asked. "Are you Mrs. Berman or Mrs. Reynolds?"

"I... I'm ok, and I'm Flo Reynolds, Jim's wife." She said it with a mechanical voice that told me she was back in shock over the whole mess.

"She's prepared to tell the truth. She didn't do anything to physically restrain me. That was all on Roger." I lived up to my promise as I recommended that she might not have been in her right mind when she allowed Roger to restrain me. I gave them the impression that he might have coerced her. "He's downstairs, and he was unconscious, the last I saw him." I motioned towards the stairs leading down to the basement.

Sergeant Cooper went to the door and motioned the EMTs to come on up. There were four of them, from two ambulances. That 911 operator wasn't messing around if she dispatched TWO of them! The Sergeant had one set attend to me while he took the other two downstairs to make sure they didn't muck up the crime scene.

Officer Daniels sat my wife down on the couch in Roger's and Alice's living room. He then proceeded to take her statement. She told him everything, repeating over and over "It was just supposed to be a joke. We didn't really do anything!" as she cried her eyes out.

While she was giving her statement, two Detectives showed up. I knew Rick Wilson from High School, and his partner, Ashleigh Crawford was ten years younger than us, and married to my buddy Larry at work. Larry was a bit of a dickhead, but whatever. Ash, on the other hand, was as sweet as can be, unless she was in Cop Mode. Then she was all business, no-nonsense, and didn't take shit off of anybody.

Then Alice pulled in, frantic that something had happened. She'd heard about the dispatch while trying to get the shit at the hospital taken care of, but when she was sure that Roger had pulled another fast one on her, she'd come back praying that Roger had gotten fucked up for his bullshit.

Well, she got her wish. Roger had been fucked up really badly. After all the bullshit over the past few years, the motherfucker had it coming! I told the Detectives my side, and the physical evidence corroborated my side of things. Sergeant Cooper came back upstairs with the EMTs and Roger cuffed to a gurney. He gave his report to Detective Wilson, and Rick just shook his head with a wry smile as he read my statement about being in fear for my life.

"Dammit, Jim!" Rick half-shouted. "I'm a cop, not a doctor!"

"Yeah, yeah. Damn Trekkie." I laughed at him. He then went outside with the EMTs, and I heard him place Roger under arrest for Unlawful Detainment and Felony Assault for handcuffing me to the fuckin' pipe. 

Roger, who had come back around to consciousness, protested loudly that it had all been a harmless prank. Rick wasn't buying it, and had Officer Daniels ride with Roger to the hospital while Sergeant Cooper took over questioning Flo.

Alice just stood there, listening to everything that was going on. When she'd heard all she needed to hear, she walked up to Flo and decked my soon-to-be ex-wife. No slap. A heavy right cross that knocked Flo ass over teakettle onto the couch.

"You fuckin' BITCH!" Alice screamed. "I can't believe you would do that shit with Roger! You have a wonderful husband who loves you dearly!"

"Loved. Past tense." I corrected her, and Alice gave me such a look of sadness, that I thought for sure she would cry. Then she looked back at Flo with a renewed fire in her eyes.

"Loved you dearly! Looks like you and Roger finally went too damned far, doesn't it! I don't even care if you fucked him for real. I'm divorcing his sorry ass and taking him for every damned penny he's got!" Alice finally ran out of steam, collapsing into a nearby chair and putting her face in her hands as she cried.

Ash went over and comforted her while Sergeant Cooper came over to me as the EMTs from the second ambulance finished bandaging my wrists. "You sure you don't want to press charges against her?" He asked.

"Not for the moment." I confirmed. Then an idea struck me. "Flo!" I called her name.

She looked at me. "What is it, baby?" She had some hope in her eyes.

"You want to prove that you and Roger didn't have sex?" I asked. There was a small chance that if she didn't sleep with Roger, I MIGHT be able to take her back. I was still thinking about it, but I needed to think clearly, and that wasn't going to happen here.

"Yes! Anything, baby!" She pleaded with her voice and her eyes.

I turned to Rick and Ash. "Do you guys have one of those rape kits around?"

"We do." The female EMT said. "I can grab it from the ambulance."

"What you got in mind, Jim?" Rick asked.

"Flo," I said, addressing my wife, "if you let them run one of those rape kits on you, and it comes back negative, It'll go a long way towards me taking you back, maybe. I'm not sure yet, but if you do this, it might help restore some small measure of trust in you if it comes back negative."

That was Flo's only chance to work at saving our marriage. Rick and Ash looked at Flo expectantly.

Now, if Flo really didn't sleep with Roger, and if she really did want to save our marriage, she should have jumped at the chance to prove her innocence.

She didn't. 

Instead, she turned pale as a ghost. She looked into my eyes for any sympathy. Unfortunately for her, I had none to give. I think it was in that moment that I realized fully that I had no more love for her. The constant disrespect she'd shown me over the last few years with the practical jokes, combined with this latest insult and humiliation, had done it. I felt cold contempt for her, now. Her reluctance to have the cops and EMTs run the rape kit on her was just the final nail in the coffin of what had once been a happy marriage.

"Flo, you should be jumping at the chance to clear your name. Instead, you have to THINK about it? It's simple." I shrugged, no longer really caring if she did it or not.

"I can't believe you would force me to do it!" She shrieked at me. "I love you, baby! Only you! We didn't do anything wrong! We didn't have sex!"

"Then prove it!" I shouted back. "I'm not FORCING you to do anything. You always have a choice, Florence. Right now, your choices are to take the test, let them run the rape kit on you, or don't. Those are your choices. The consequences of NOT taking the test are a foregone conclusion, though. Now, you can keep protesting your innocence with NO proof to back it up, or you can take the test and at least show you're willing to work on our marriage. Those are your choices!"

I shook my head and started towards the door. I looked back at Flo. "Come by the house in an hour, and I'll have you stuff packed up for you. You can move in with your sister until you find your own place."

"Stop! I'll do it!" She pleaded in a desperate tone of voice.

I nodded. "Ok. Well, move in with your sister anyway. If the test comes back and proves that you didn't fuck Roger, then and ONLY then will we talk. If for ANY reason, the test comes back and shows that you and Roger had sex, I will Divorce you so fast it will make your head spin."

She got a defiant look on her face. "Then I'll do it and prove to you once and for all that NOTHING happened!"

Now, Flo is one of the most hard-headed women on the face of the Earth. She HAD to think it was her idea all along, otherwise her stubbornly stupid streak would keep her from doing ANYTHING I suggested, or in this case, gave to her as an ultimatum. Who knows how women think? I sure as fuck don't. They have these weird notions about shit, and I only know a little bit of how Flo thinks after 20+ years together.

"Good." I turned and looked at Rick. "Let me know what the results are before you call Flo."

"Will do, buddy." Rick nodded at me with a smile.

I nodded back and walked out the door. I went across the yards to my house and got into my truck. I drove to Home Depot and bought some lock sets and keys. Then I drove home and installed them in less than an hour. I also changed the garage door code so that her remote opener wouldn't work anymore.

I had thrown most of her clothes into four garbage bags, and her toiletries in a smaller bag as well, when the doorbell rang. I hauled the shit out to the foyer and opened the door to find Flo's sister, Shelly, standing there with a distraught looking Flo.

"My key doesn't work." Flo looked even more distraught at that.

"No shit. I just bought new locks and changed them. This is my house, remember? Bought and paid for by my parents and given to me before we got married." I shook my head. "That means you have no claim on it or anything in it except what you brought into this house, and what we bought together. If we do get Divorced, then and only then will we divvy up the stuff we bought together. Until then, here's your clothes and toiletries, and have a nice day."

"But baby, can't we talk now?"

"No. I need to cool the fuck down before we have any kind of talk. Florence, I nearly hit you an hour ago when you defended that scumbag. I have NEVER, and God willing WILL NEVER hit a woman. You pushed me to the point where I was ready to, though, and I don't like that feeling."

"I... I understand." Flo looked even more haggard as she realized just how far into the ditch she'd gone. How far into the ditch she'd dragged our marriage and the love I once had for her. Right then, our marriage was hanging by the slimmest thread possible.

She cried for a minute, then steeled herself and sniffled. I nodded to her and her sister.

"Here's her stuff." I started handing them the garbage bags, and looked at Flo. "Well? Did they say when the results would be in?"

She shook her head glumly. "Monday, they said. They have to run everything through some machine, but everyone in the crime lab is off until Monday."

"Then Monday we'll find out for sure." I said evenly. They finished loading Flo's stuff into Shelly's car and left together.




A Joke: Surviving Armageddon



I retired to my Lazy Boy and opened a micro brew. The rich dark ale helped to ease my temper some, even though I was still really angry at the whole mess. I didn't care what they said. I KNOW what I heard. I would recognize the sound of my wife having a massive orgasm from a mile away. That keening sound she makes is unmistakable. All those years together, hearing it had been music to my ears whenever we fucked or made love. Now, just the thought of her making that sound made me sick to my stomach.

Then the hard choices started. Did I tell Eric and Patty? Of course, I had to tell them. I wouldn't let Flo make me out to be the villain in this little play.

No, the really hard question was: How do I tell my kids that all evidence so far was pointing to their mother cheating on me with a man that neither of them really liked? Yes, that's right. Flo had ignored or laughed off their concerns about Roger too, just as she'd laughed off my concerns.

We have a sense of humor in our family. We aren't a bunch of stuffed shirts, but Roger's practical jokes had been going on and on and on and on for too damned long, and had gotten increasingly lewd and just plain worse over the years. This last one, if it had even been a joke at all, had gone way over the line. This one had gone so far over that there was no coming back.

Whether or not they actually did anything, there was no way in Hell that I was going to forgive the asshole this time. Whether or not, by some miracle I took Flo back, Roger would be out of our lives one way or another. I had no doubt in my mind that if also, by some miracle Alice took him back after this one, the first time he said a word to me, I would knock his teeth down his throat.

Yes, I was THAT angry with him. I was madder than hell at the motherfuckin' son-of-a-bitch. Now, I am not the kind of guy who holds grudges. Don't mistake me for THAT guy who can never let anything go. But then imagine if it had been your "friend" and your wife that had done to you what Roger and Flo had done to me. Then you might just see where I'm coming from, here.

Well, I finally sighed and figured I might as well get the unpleasant calls over with. First up, I called Eric.

"Hey, Dad!" He greeted me.

"Hey, Buddy." I tried to be cheerful, but it just didn't fly. He could tell immediately.

"Ok, what's wrong, Dad?"

I let out another deep breath as a loud sigh. "Well, a couple of hours ago, Roger Berman was arrested for Felony Assault and Unlawful Restraint."

"Holy crap! Really?"

"Yes, really, and your mother was almost arrested along with him."

"Wait-what?! Dad, you're joking, right?! What the Hell happened?!"

So I gave him the short and Edited-for-minors edition of what had gone on, even though he was out and on his own. I pulled no punches about how I'd struggled to get free or the state of my wrists, however. Both were still bandaged, and I would need to change them soon as the blood had started to seep through.

"Oh my God! Dad, are you SURE that Mom would do that?!"

"I know what I heard, Eric. I won't go into detail, but there were tell-tale signs that they were going all the way. The cops have it all in the police report, though."

"Jesus, Dad! I can't believe that asshole managed to seduce Mom! There has to be some mistake!"

"I know what you mean, but I also know what I heard. Your mother was upstairs with him for over half an hour, and I know what I heard. There's no way in Hell that those sounds can be faked."

"Is there any chance you could be wrong?"

"Very slim, but I'll know for sure on Monday."

"Why? What's Monday?"

"That's the day the crime lab finishes with the rape kit the cops ran on your mother to prove one way or another whether or not she had sex with Roger."

Eric surprised me by laughing. "Wow! Whose idea was that? That's one way to tell for sure!"

"Mine, actually. I've seen enough Law & Order: SVU to know that they can tell a lot from one of those rape kits. Semen, pre-cum, DNA, even condom lube can be gathered by those things. One way or another, Monday is going to at least partially decide if your mother and I get Divorced."

"What do you mean by 'partially', Dad?"

"I mean that even if she didn't do it, I still might just Divorce her for the blatant disrespect and humiliation they've put me through since that asshole moved in. I've had enough, Son, and I'm tired of it all." I let my mental fatigue show as I said that last sentence. Eric was quiet for a long moment before speaking again.

"I understand, Dad. If Kenna did that to me, I would drop her like a ton of bricks." Kenna was Eric's fiancé, and a very sweet girl. I had a feeling she would never do that to Eric, but I could definitely empathize with him if she did and he decided to ditch her.

"Well, I hope she doesn't. I do want grandkids someday, and she obviously loves you."

"You're right, Dad, and I love her too."

"Good. Give her my love, and I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, Dad. Love you."

"Love you too, Son. Bye."

"Bye." He Ended the call.

I decided that I needed another beer before calling Patty. Eric, I knew would kind of understand. Patty, on the other hand, was a whole other ball of wax. She was a momma's girl, and I'd already seen Flo's sense of humor in her, even at her young age. Yeah, this wasn't going to be fun.

So after downing half of the second dark ale, I dialed Patty's number.

I was right. It wasn't anywhere near fun. Patty just couldn't believe that her mother, my wife, would do any such thing. I made it perfectly clear to her what I'd heard, and even if it was just a joke, they had gone way over the line so far, it wasn't likely that I'd ever take her back.

"But dad, what if she didn't really do anything with that slimeball?" Yeah, Patty didn't like Roger either. I think I mentioned that already, but if not, then now I have.

"Pumpkin, the disrespect she's been showing me for the last few years when they'd pull their pranks, after saying 'never again' when I blow up at her, has gone too far. I will not be taking her back anytime soon. Your mother has gone too far this time. I'm sorry." I laid it all out for her. "Patty, I could actually have her charged as an accessory to what Roger did to me. They didn't just pull a prank this time, they broke the law."

That shut Patty up. I could pretty much hear the wheels turning in her head as she thought about what I'd just said. After a minute, I heard her sigh.

"Dad, I still think you should give Mom another chance." Yeah, I knew it was coming. Both our kids love their Mom. Eric was pissed off, but Patty was just saddened by the whole mess.

"I'll think about it, Pumpkin. No promises, though." It was the best I could manage. I really didn't see Flo as my wife anymore. I just couldn't get over it like Patty wanted. I'd think about it, though. I'm a man of my word, after all.

"Thanks, Daddy." I could hear the smile in Patty's voice as she said it.

"Don't thank me yet, sweety. I'm serious, here. Your mother is going to have to jump through some serious hoops if she wants me to forgive her for this one." I went on to explain about the rape kit and how the results could determine whether or not I took her back or had her charged as Roger's accessory and Divorced her.

That brought Patty up short again. "I... I understand, Daddy," was all she said.

"I'm glad you do, Pumpkin. I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Pumpkin. Bye."

"Bye, Daddy." I heard her sniffle just before she Ended the call.

The phone calls out of the way, I finally had time to really think about where my marriage was going. I reviewed everything in my head, over and over and over again. The common cause of each piece of hurt I'd put up with over the last few years was Roger Fuckin' Berman. The fucktard had been at the heart of everything. Every time I got so angry I could barely see straight. Every time I contemplated murder. Every huge argument that Flo and I had. It all came back to Roger and his fuckin' stupid practical jokes.

In a sense, I was partially to blame, too. I should have put my foot down after the one before, where they first looked like they were making out while Alice and I had been outside. I should have done something then. I wondered if "One more time, Flo, and I'm going to Divorce you!" would have done any good. Knowing how stupid Flo had become because of Roger, and the more I thought about it, the less I held out any hope for her wising up.

Hell, it had taken THIS happening for her to see how much she and Roger had hurt Alice and me. It had taken a "joke" going way too far and I had warned her that they would someday. I just didn't expect it to be within weeks of the warning I'd given her.

Before I got too drunk, I decided to go to the local liquor store and buy some more of that great dark ale. I bought a full case, then took it home and proceeded to get completely shitfaced. 

I know, getting drunk doesn't usually help the thought process. But in my case, this time it did. It gave me a clarity of thought that I hadn't had in a very long time.

I was able to see the pattern, now. Roger and the way he looked at Flo when he thought that Alice and I weren't watching. At the times I'd caught him looking, I at first thought he might be planning a joke on her too. However, thinking back now, that twinkle in his eyes wasn't mischief. It was lust. He'd been planning her seduction for a very long time!

Now, Flo isn't some slut wife like you read about sometimes on sites like Literotica or whatever. If Roger had come right out and tried to seduce her, she would have slapped him upside the face, told Alice about it, and we would never have socialized with him again.

She had done a few really stupid things during our marriage. Nothing as huge as this, but still pretty boneheaded. The difference this time, besides the obvious, was that she didn't learn from her mistakes as she had in the past. Every escalation with Roger's "jokes" had been another nail in the coffin of our marriage. Usually, hindsight is always 20/20, and for me it is. For her, however, she was holding out hope that we could get past this.

For some odd reason (ha), I wasn't willing to put it in the past anymore. This had been the final straw.

I don't remember much about the rest of the night after my epiphanies. Yeah, I got rip-snorting shitfaced and ended up worshipping-at-the-porcelain-altar to the Gods of Drunkenness, Ralph and his good buddy Earl. I passed out with my face on the toilet seat.

Needless to say, I woke up in the morning with the Mother of All Hangovers. So I did the only thing I could think of in that situation. I had another beer.

I don't remember much about that weekend, especially Sunday. I was still wondering how the whole Divorce would play out. Would Flo fight it? Shit, the LAST thing I wanted to do was talk to her, or try and listen to her. "But baby, it was just a joke. Nothing happened!" kept floating through my mind as her mantra. But I couldn't ignore that keening sound of her climaxing that I had heard. If she hadn't done that, I might have actually believed her that nothing happened. Yeah, I finished off that case of beer on Sunday.

Monday morning, I decided that I'd drunk enough, and popped about 10 aspirin and drank half a pot of coffee to get rid of the hangover. Then I called off work for a family emergency, and my boss said to take as much time as I needed. Yep, I had a shit ton of unused vacation time accrued, so I was set for pretty much as long as I needed. I also called a lawyer to see what my options were for Divorcing Flo.

He gave me the skinny on what to expect, and ONLY if she didn't fight it, would I walk away scot free, pretty much. If she did fight it, I could wind up paying alimony and giving her half of everything, including my 401K and retirement package.

Shit. Shit, Shit, Shit, SHIT!

I did NOT want to give Flo a damned dime!

Then he gave me an out. After listening to what happened, he said that if she was charged, then the police report could be entered into evidence for the Divorce too. That perked me up. I thanked him for his time, and after hanging up, I sat back to think.

My anger had cooled somewhat at Flo. Roger was still on my Kill-On-Sight list, and Flo was definitely still in the doghouse. But I was thinking that IF she MAYBE didn't fuck Roger, I MIGHT be willing to forgive her EVENTUALLY and MAYBE get past it... in time.

Yes, I know those are a lot of qualifiers. IF, MAYBE, MIGHT, EVENTUALLY, etc. Now it all hinged on the rape kit and what it would tell me.

Just after 2pm, Rick called me to let me know that the rape kit results were done... and something I didn't know about, too.

"Jim, you need to come down here. This is strange."

"What's strange, Rick?"

"Just get down to the station." His tone didn't invite argument. I knew from experience that Rick only got that way when telling it wouldn't do. It had to be shown.

"Ok, on my way."

Yes, it was THAT short of a conversation. My curiosity was off the charts as I got into my truck and damn near broke every traffic law getting to the police station, as strange as that might sound.

Once I arrived, I greeted Tonya at the front desk, and she let me into the Detectives area to see Rick. Once I was seated in his office, he pulled out the Crime Lab's report.

"Ok, I knew you wouldn't believe me on this one without proof, Jim. This one has to be seen to be believed."

"Buddy, I don't think I would discount anything right now. I'm already pretty much convinced she cheated, but this will just be the confirmation I need."

Rick got a pensive look on his face. "It's not quite that simple, Jim. The rape kit itself came back negative."

That news stunned me a bit. "Really? You mean she didn't fuck Roger?"

"There was no intercourse, if that's what you mean."

"Well, DUH! What else would I mean?!" Ok, I knew Rick had to say that, as he also had a Cop Mode that stuck as close to the book as possible, even when his own friends were involved. But right then, I was getting tired of not knowing what the hell he was talking about.

"Ok, well the second piece of evidence was that Ash examined Flo's panties while the EMT was running the kit, and found semen on the front of them."

I slumped back in the chair, my mind reeling from what I'd just heard. "You mean he came over the front of her panties?" I asked at length.

"Looks like it, yeah. My guess was that they were either masturbating each other, or they were doing it to themselves as a mutual masturbation thing." Rick took a deep breath. "All Flo told Ash was that it was all 'just a joke' and 'nothing happened', but the DNA came back on the semen sample as belonging to Roger Berman."

Now my anger was back on the rise. "So while they might not have physically cheated, they still cheated."

"Not according to Bill Clinton, and not according to our state law definition of adultery, either. Look, Jim. I can't tell you what to do about Flo. Hell, if it was me, and Kathleen did that to me, I'd divorce her and have the DA throw the book at her for her part in what the asshole did to you." Rick took another deep breath before continuing.

"Roger Berman has already been charged with Unlawful Detainment and Felony Assault for handcuffing you in the basement. The DA thinks he can go one better and introduce Kidnapping. That's a 25-to-Life sentence if he's convicted and if the Judge is in a bad mood that day. Parole after 10-to-15, usually. Hell, with you testifying and the evidence on hand, it would pretty much be a slam dunk. The bad news there is that Flo would probably have to testify as well, in return for a lighter sentence." Rick stopped and looked at me. "Jim, like I said, I can't tell you what to do here, but give the word and the son of a bitch goes away from a very long time."

I smirked a bit as his phraseology. "The Word," I said.

He chuckled again and picked up the phone. 5 minutes later, our DA was filing Kidnapping charges against Roger Berman with a mental cruelty aggravator.

Speaking of ol' Roger, he was still in the hospital under 24 hour police guard. It would be a while before the effects of my self-defense would allow him to get out and into a nice comfy jail cell. Yeah, I'd pretty much wrecked his sorry ass, and if I saw him again, I would probably do the same. Hell, I would be more than happy to go to jail for some Felony Assault on him, myself! As far as I'm concerned, any man that goes the lengths he did to seduce another man's wife, completely disrespecting a man who he supposedly calls a friend and his own loving faithful wife too, deserves everything bad that happens to him.

Roger Berman wasn't a joker. Roger Berman was just scum masquerading as a joker. A sexual predator that used his practical jokes as ways to get a woman into bed. The good news was that he was now facing some serious prison time! Yeah, it wasn't good news for him, but it was excellent news for me and Alice. Roger was pretty well off, for sure. With him in prison, Alice's plan to Divorce the Asshole and take him to the cleaners was well on its way to becoming a reality.

She came over the next weekend and told me several incidences in their old town where he had gone nearly as far as he had with Flo. She had given him an ultimatum: Give it up and move away, or she would Divorce him then and there. He had given in, and they had moved here. For a while, things had been great, until he'd started up his "joking" with Flo and me, this time around. Seems he also had several jealous hubbies back in their old burg where he was KOS if they ever saw him again. That really didn't surprise me, to be honest. Not with all the shit that I'd figured out about him over this last week.

I couldn't blame Alice, since I was now planning to do the same to Flo while she was in the joint. Fuck it. I'd suffered enough of their disrespect to last several lifetimes. How Roger had subverted Flo wasn't all that much of a mystery when I thought about her raunchy sense of humor over the course of our courtship and marriage. Roger had found fertile ground there for his plan to seduce her by joke. The fuckin' bastard.

Flo tried and tried and tried again to get in touch with me so "we could talk", which was the furthest thing from my mind. I knew enough about how she thought that she seemed to think that once we sat down and talked, it would all be over with and we would get back to where we were.

No.

Not just no, but OH HELL FUCK NO!

It wasn't lost on me that she hadn't physically let him fuck her... this time. It also wasn't lost on me that if I HAD forgiven their "joke" this time, they would have upped the ante next time. This Divorce was as much for Flo's protection as it was my own sanity.

From the way I'd reacted this last time, emphasis on LAST, I knew that if they tried that shit again, only with full penetration or whatever, I would snap and kill both of them. 

I started shaking as I realized that I had been a cunt hair away from killing Roger already. Not that the sack of shit didn't deserve it, of course, but did I really want to spend the rest of my life in prison? No. I love my kids too much to go to prison and miss out on their lives. 

Eric had a good woman with Kenna, and Patty was getting excellent grades in school, looking to graduate with honors from her chosen college. 

She was also dating what she called a "great guy" and was planning to bring him home at Winter Break to meet us. I knew that 

I would hate her latest boyfriend when he came home with her at Christmas, of course. All fathers hate their daughters' boyfriends. It's a protective instinct that is the boyfriend's responsibility to alleviate by showing the father that his girl is his life and he will never hurt her.




A Joke: Surviving Armageddon



So it came to pass that Roger plead out on the Kidnapping charge. The DA had been pushing it for a half hour's confinement, but Roger still ended up with 5 years all told for the Felony Assault and Unlawful Detainment, with the Mental Cruelty aggravator. 

Flo, in hopes of saving our marriage, took the DA's deal for Community Service and Time Served and ended up testifying against Roger in Court.

Roger was stoic throughout his trial, showing little emotion, if any. He had recovered as much as possible from my self-defense, and no lawyer in town would take his attempted civil suit against me. After reading the police reports, the sharks smelled a loser and refused him. It wouldn't do him much good from prison, anyway.

Flo fought the Divorce tooth and nail. The Judge ordered couples counseling for us, but I refused, and was held in Contempt of Court twice before the Judge saw that I would rather spend the rest of my life in Jail than get back together with Flo. After my Lawyer read my statement to the Court about what had happened and my feelings on the matter, the Judge finally saw that he was pissing into the wind on this one. Unstoppable Force got stopped by Immovable Object, this time around.

Eric and Patty took it hard, as I expected. I told Patty that I would think about getting back together with their mom, but every time I thought about it, the hurt would come back and I'd think "What happens next time?" I also informed her that I'd warned Flo on multiple occasions that she was disrespecting me, but she kept on doing it. I told her that she would go too far, but she kept on doing it. I didn't hate Flo, but there was no way in Hell that I would live with her and wait for another damned "joke", Roger or no Roger.

Eric, for his part, was with me on this one. Kenna came over with him to talk with me and Patty. They took my side, and Patty was pretty much left on her own on Flo's side.

After much discussion and even some tears, Patty finally saw my reasoning behind the Divorce. I couldn't live with their mother after what she'd done to me over the last few years. That last "joke" with Roger had been the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

* * * *

2 years after that fateful evening, I was sitting in Lucky's Saloon. Thanks to the "No Fault" bullshit, Flo had gotten half of everything except the house, which was already mine when we'd gotten married. I was ordered to pay a third of my paycheck in alimony for 2 years, and Flo was ordered to get a job to support herself, or get married within that allotted timeframe.

Eric married Kenna, who looks quite a bit like Andrea Parker from that old TV series "The Pretender," and they now have a son, my first grandson, and another baby on the way.

Patty is engaged to marry Tom, her previously mentioned boyfriend. Tom is respectful, polite, but doesn't take any shit. I have to respect him for that. He won me over when he got up in my face and told me that he was going to make Patty happy in spite of me if need be. I just smiled and said "You'd better."

So here it was 2 years later. Flo had a job and was making decent money as an accountant, her chosen major in college when we'd first met. She refused to date, though. She kept holding out hope that we'd get back together. She's still in the kids' lives, of course. She's their Mother. We spend Christmases and Thanksgivings together and all that shit. We're able to remain cordial at least. Like I said, I don't hate her. Just don't love her anymore and don't feel any need to have her in my life.

It wasn't as if I'd dated much since the Divorce. Mid-Forties and even though still fairly good looking, if I do say so myself, I don't have quite the "pull" anymore, as the kids call it these days. I'd dated a few times, of course. Hell, I even dated Alice for a while. We'd both been single for about 6 months and had fallen into bed for a bit.... ok, we fell into bed for about 3 months before we finally realized that outside of awesomely amazing sex, we didn't have that much in common. 

I still wondered why Roger would risk and ruin a marriage to a sexual dynamo like Alice for some older pussy with Flo. Not that Flo wasn't still beautiful, mind you. For mid-forties, she was still gorgeous, and honestly looks 10 years younger. But still, he gave up sexual nirvana with Alice for a shot at Flo? Some guys are just stupid, I guess.

No, the problem with Alice, and both of us for that matter, was the specters of our spouses constantly over our heads. We felt that even though our spouses hadn't actually cheated, by Bill Clinton's definition, we were still each other's consolation prize... if that's the term you could use. 

In bed, Alice blew Flo out of the water. Hell, no man would need Viagra or Cialis or any of that stuff as long as Alice was around.

But in the end, she was right. We just couldn't get past the shit our exes had put us through. We parted as friends, and Alice ended up moving out of town.

Since that time with Alice, I'd had two almost steady girlfriends. 3 to 4 months apiece, but I'd spent more time with Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters than with a real woman since the Divorce was final.

In a small town like ours, with less than 100,000 people, gossip spreads, and I was sitting in Lucky's Saloon swigging a beer. I'd cut back a LOT on the beer and alcohol in general. But after finding out that Larry had been fucking around on Ashleigh with Sara at work, I had to think about what to do in this situation. Larry was a friend, but Ash deserved to know. Larry also knew how I felt about cheaters, but then I didn't want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage... but then again...

Yeah, my thoughts were jumbled. Larry had been a friend for years. But then, so had Ash. I'd just about settled on telling Ash what I knew when she plopped down on the barstool next to me and surprised the shit out of me.

"Buy a girl a drink?" She smirked.

"Ash, you're just the person I had on my mind right now." I admitted as I signaled Lucky for another round and a beer for Ash too. "Just get off work?"

"Yeah, and why was I on your mind?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

I took a deep breath. "Ash, 2 days ago, I found out that Larry's been having an affair with Sara at work." I was looking right at her as I said it, but saw no surprise there. I forged ahead. "Anyway, I had been debating with myself whether or not to tell you, but finally decided that telling you would be better than letting you think that he was still a faithful husband, whether or not he has been in the past. Honestly, the guy is kind of a dickhead, and has been for a long time." I finally ran out of breath and had to take another one. It had all come out in a rush.

Ash just nodded as she took her beer and swigged it once. "That confirms what I've been hearing behind my back when people think I can't hear them. The gossip in this town is enough to drive some people batshit crazy."

"I hear that, but I'm still sorry to confirm it for you. I know you love the son of a bitch." I shrugged.

"Fuck him. He chose to disregard his marriage vows, and fuck around on me. Who was that lawyer you used to Divorce Flo?"

I smiled at that. "Kevin Stevenson." I handed her his card from my wallet. It had seen better days, but Kev was and is the best Shark in the business in our town. He wasn't JUST a Divorce Attorney. He also had other interests on the side. He made decent money, and even though he had scruples, he knew exactly when to be unscrupulous. Divorces were one of those times.

"Thanks. Hey, are you seeing anyone?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not at the moment. But you ARE still married, and two wrongs don't make a right." I got her message loud and clear from the way she'd asked and the look of Revenge Fuck in her eyes. "Ash, as much as I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted, I also have to say that I have too much respect for you right now to be a revenge fuck against Larry. Sweety, you deserve better than that and so do I."

She thought about my words for a few moments. "Yeah, you're right, Jim. As much as I'd like to, I AM still married to a jerkweed. But I will be free in a few months, and I WILL have the proof I need of him fucking around before we get to Court."

We clinked bottles at that and swigged our beers in companionable silence. After a half hour, we decided to dance a bit, then we left separately and she went home to Asshole while I went home to that empty house of mine.

Ash ended up catching Larry dead to rights, taking pics, and slammed him in the courtroom with her evidence during their Divorce. Also, since Sara had some pot on her when they were busted, they both ended up in jail. I had my suspicions about where the pot had come from, but as far as I was concerned, if Ash wanted to plant a little evidence to move the Divorce along a little faster, who was I to argue?

Seriously, at one point I never thought Larry could be such a douchebag. I mean come on! His wife is a DETECTIVE! Jeez, some guys are fuckin' stupid!

By the end of the whole mess 6 months later, Larry was out of a wife, out of a home, and out of a job. He ended up leaving town for parts unknown, which suited everyone here just fine.

Life went on as before, only this time I was dating a woman 10 years my junior and loving every minute of it. Ash was a breath of fresh air. Detective Banks, as she was now referred, it being her maiden name that she'd retaken in the Divorce, was all that, the bag of chips, AND the salsa! I was once again struck by the stupidity of guys like Roger and Larry. How the hell could they screw up marriages like that to women like Alice and Ashleigh?!

I chalked it up to the "Born Stupid" theory. Some guys just don't know what they have, and are stupid about it. Oh, well. Their loss is my gain.

Or so I thought...

* * * * *

Ash and I went on dates, and took it slow for a few months. Her schedule was decent, as she was on Days, and mine was ok too since I was only a couple hours behind her in starting my day at work. We found time for each other on weekends, but we held off on having sex for a while, too.

I probably should have mentioned it earlier, but Ash is light skinned, but still black. Somewhere between Maya Rudolph and Beyoncé. Both of her parents are mixed race. It doesn't come up much, but with Larry being a darker black man, and Sara being white, their whole mess was talked about even more than when Roger had "joked" Flo and ruined my marriage. It was one reason that Larry was run out of town on a rail, figuratively speaking. While everyone got along with Ash, Larry had kind of been a dark horse, no pun intended, in our town. Moving here after hooking up with Ash in college, he had made some friends, but he was still a dickhead a lot of the time. It kind of made me wonder how he'd talked his way into Ash's life in the first place.

I brought up the subject one night after we'd been dating for about 3 months.

"Well," she said, "he was actually a nice guy when we met in college. I don't know what changed in him since he moved here to be with me, but it might have been that the small town mentality was too much for him. You know that it's tough for new people to get along with this town sometimes. Look at Rog..." She stopped and blushed as she looked down.

"It's ok, sweety." I smiled. "I'm over it. Roger is in prison and Flo is working and I only see her on some holidays when the kids are in town for family get-togethers."

She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "Good. I know what they did to you was wrong, and if Larry had done that shit to me, I would've beaten him within an inch of his life."

We looked into each other's eyes. We'd both been hurt by the ones we'd loved. We'd both Been There. I knew that she wouldn't do me like Flo had. I stood up, as our dinner was done, and pulled her to her feet.

She rose and came into my arms, and we kissed lovingly. Her full lips on mine felt wonderful. Our tongues danced in each other's mouths as we moaned in the pleasure of our bodies pressing together.

Her caramel colored skin shown in contrast to my paler complexion as we kissed. Her long dark hair was tied back in a ponytail, so I could reach her ears with my lips as we kissed each other's necks. I sucked her earlobe as she started tugging my shirt out of the waistband of my pants, and I grabbed her well endowed behind. Yes, I have an appreciation for a bubble butt, and Ash had it all packed in the right places. My stray thought at that time was "Larry was a fuckin' idiot!"

Larry notwithstanding, I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by. We'd waited long enough, and I for one wasn't going to wait anymore. Luckily for me, neither was she. Her deep dark brown eyes bored into mine with a look of shear lust that would be hard to describe, so I won't even try. Ok, yes I will. The word "smolder doesn't even come close to the heat radiating from her gaze. Her sexual presence damn near overwhelmed me, and I literally have no idea how we ended up naked on her bed.

But as I came to my senses, I sensed everything all at once. Her silky soft skin pressed against mine. Her dark complexion contrasting so erotically with my own. Her shudder of pleasure as my lips closed over one dark nipple and began to suckle.

Now, I'm also no slouch downstairs, just to be clear. As we moved into a 69, Ash gasped and murmured her appreciation for my Wood. She then took me into her mouth as I sucked on her caramel covered cherry clit. Oh God, she tasted amazing as I licked and sucked her pussy to a massive orgasm. My tongue delved deep into her as I alternated it between her pussy hole and her engorged clit. As she screamed around my cock and sucked me even harder as she came, I could feel my own climax starting.

"Gonna come!" I gasped as I felt her take me into her throat. She just moaned as I began pumping my cum into her gullet

I grunted again as I shot my seed down her throat. She just sucked and slurped until I was completely drained.

As she rolled off of me and came up to kiss me, I could taste myself but didn't give a shit. She had a look of satisfaction on her face as she reached down and started stroking me back to life.

I was about to ask for an hour or two when much to my surprise, I rose to the challenge. Maybe it was her smile. Maybe it was her beautiful exotic body. Or maybe it was just her saying "I need you to make love to me, baby" while whispering in my ear and stroking my hardening cock.

As soon as I was hard again, Ash straddled me, and gripping me by my cock, lowered her pussy down onto my hard-as-iron pole. I gasped as her tight wet pussy engulfed me, and I can honestly say I'd never been in such a tight hot spot in my life!

I grabbed her D cup breasts and sucked one chocolate nipple as she began to grind on me. Her gasps and moans added to my arousal as we made love slowly, her hips moving back and forth as I found her rhythm and started moving under her too.

"Yesssss, baby! God yes, just like that!" She moaned as we moved together. Me thrusting up into her as she started moving up and down on me, my mouth moving back and forth between her gorgeous nipples that reminded me of Claudia Price, the porn actress. Big and erect with her arousal, those nipples were deadly!

"Gonna come baby!" She warned as I thrust up into her faster and harder. All those years with Flo had taught me what a woman wants in bed, and luckily for me, Ash was definitely responding to what I was doing. My cock slammed up into her as I grabbed the round globes of her ass and pounded up into her.

"GODDDDD YYYYYEEEESSSSSS!!!!" She screamed as I felt her cunt contract around me and her juices flow around my cock and balls as she came.

"Oh fuck!" I grunted as I felt my own cum boiling up the shaft of my cock and, for the first time in decades, unleashed my cum into a woman who wasn't Flo.

"That's it, baby! Come in my pussy! FUCK YES!" She gasped as I unloaded a torrent into her willing womb.

As the steam rose from our bodies in the aftermath of sexual Armageddon, we cuddled together as she draped her leg across my waist and snuggled into my side with her head on my chest.

"Wow!" was all I could manage at that point.

"Uh huh." She said languidly. "Damn, baby! Larry never made me come like that! Are all white boys as good as you?"

"Nope. I'm one of a kind." I chuckled. "I could say the same, though. I don't think I've ever came that hard in my life!"

"I'm one of a kind too, baby." She leaned up and kissed me sweetly. "It's about damn time we did this."

"I agree." I grinned and returned her kiss with interest.

Ash moved in a week later, and all seemed right with the world, until one day when Ash got home from work and grabbed me in a hug. "Baby, we need to talk."

Now, NO guy on Earth wants to hear those words from the woman he loves. "What's wrong, baby?" I asked, dreading what she had to say.

"Roger escaped from prison last night. I just found out about it an hour ago, but he'd been vowing revenge on you for what you did to him." She refused to let me go as we walked into the living room and sat together on the loveseat. I held her close too, thinking about the ramifications of what she'd just said.

"Ok. I own a gun, so if he comes after us, I can defend myself. You have your gun too, so he'd be walking into his own death if he tries it." I reasoned that he wouldn't be that damn stupid.

What I didn't realize is that while Roger didn't come after me directly, he was really that stupid in that he went after someone else close to me.

Two weeks after the news of Roger's escape, the cops were at a loss. He seemed to have disappeared from the face of the Earth. Then the phone call that would haunt me for the rest of my life came just as I got home from work.

"Hello?" I answered. Now, I usually don't pick up calls from numbers I don't recognize, but I was feeling good that day and was even willing to put up with a telemarketer or two.

"D... Daddy?" I heard a sobbing Patty ask.

"Patty? What's wrong, Pumpkin?" I felt a sense of dread that hadn't been there a moment before.

"Pumpkin is a little tied up right now, ol' buddy." Roger's taunting voice came over the line. "So is your whore of an ex-wife."

"Where are you, you son of a bitch?! This is between you and me! Not them! Leave Patty and Flo out of this!" I snarled. All the rage. All the hurt. All the disrespect he'd shown me in the past came flooding back. Now he was adding to it by threatening my family!

"Listen carefully, asshole!" He clipped at me. "You are going to do exactly what I say, or they die slowly and painfully. Am I clear?"

"Yeah. What do you want, Roger?" I asked with a lot more calm in my voice than I was feeling.

"Come to Flo's apartment and come alone. No cops. If you do that, there's a chance they might walk out of here alive. If you aren't here in ten minutes, I start having fun with them. Patty sure has grown up and blossomed, and Flo still looks pretty good for a woman her age."

"I swear to God, Roger! If you harm either one of them, God himself couldn't stop me from tearing you apart!" I raged. He laughed.

"You're in no position to threaten me, dumbass! I'm holding all the cards. If I see cops, I kill them before anyone can save them. You have my word on that, buddy boy!"

"I'm on my way." I snarled as I ended the call.

I grabbed my Colt Python and was out the door in less than a minute. I got in my truck and drove, and called Ash on my way.

"Ash, he's at Flo's place with her and Patty. He's threatening to kill them if the cops show up, so please keep this on the down low. If you can get the cops there, do it, but be discrete about it. Ok?" I said it all in a rush, and her response was about what I expected. She knew who I was talking about when I said "he."




A Joke: Surviving Armageddon



"Ok, but don't do anything until I text you, Jim. That will be your signal that we're in place and ready to breach if necessary." No baby or honey or boo this time. Ash was in Cop Mode.

"Thanks, sweetheart. I hope I can talk him down, but I have my gun with me if necessary." The .357 Magnum in the back of my belt under my jacket was a comforting presence. I hoped it wouldn't come to violence, but if it did, I would be ready.

"I love you, Jim. Please be careful."

"I love you too, Ash. Don't worry. I will be." I gave her the reassurance that I would be careful. I just hoped that careful would be enough.

As I pulled into the complex parking lot, I thought about what he could be doing to them as I got out of my truck and headed up to the door.

I rang the doorbell, and heard shuffling inside when Patty opened the door with Roger right behind her holding a gun. Where he'd gotten a gun, I have no idea. I'm not a criminal, so I don't know where criminals, especially those on the lam, get their guns. Probably some guy off the street sold him one, or he stole it somehow. The last part seemed more likely, since he didn't have any money from prison.

"Good of you to make it for the final show, buddy boy." Roger had a sick grin on his face. Prison hadn't been kind to him, it seemed. He was wasted away from the man he used to be. He was painfully thin with a hard edge to him that hadn't been there before.

"I'm here, Roger. If this is about you and me, let Patty and Flo go, and take me instead." I reasoned with him as best I could. What I wanted to do was pull my Colt from my belt and put a slug between his eyes, but not in front of Patty.

"Daddy, I'm scared." Patty sobbed as Roger pulled her back towards the couch where Flo was tied and gagged. Flo had a pleading look in her eyes as she realized that I was her only hope of walking out of there alive too.

Now, I'm no police negotiator or anything like that. I don't know the ins and outs of making a perp surrender. All I could try to do was appeal to Roger's humanity, if he had any left.

"Roger, this is between us. No need to involve them. Let them go, and I'll be your hostage. You can do whatever you want to me. Just please let them go." I said. I wasn't going to beg. I kept my voice even and waited for him to say something. He just smiled sickly and put the gun to Patty's head.

"Now, why would I want to do that, buddy boy? You ruined my manhood that day when you overreacted like that! I spent the last 2 fuckin' years in prison because you overreacted and my lawyer was shit! All because you couldn't take a Goddamned joke!"

"A joke?!" I snarled back. "I listened to what I believed was you fucking Flo, and then I just knew that you wouldn't be able to allow me to live afterward! I would tell Alice what you'd done, and you would have to kill me to keep my quiet! I KNEW it, Roger! I knew it like I know that this time, if you kill Patty or Flo, I will kill you and your entire family!"

He started at that. His mouth opened at the sheer venom that I had just unleashed. This wasn't going at all like he'd planned.

I took advantage of his stunned look to pull my Colt out of my belt behind my back and by the time he realized it, I was pointing it directly at his forehead. "Roger, this is how it's going to work. You can surrender now, put down the gun, and I call the cops to come get you." I paused for effect. "Or, you can shoot Patty or Flo, but I will put you down if you do. Or you can point your gun at me and take your chances that you can kill me before I put you down. One thing I can tell you for sure, is if you kill Patty or Flo, I will kill your brother and sister, and all their children too. If you take my child from me, I will take theirs from them. You and Alice never had kids, so I can't kill them, or I would."

"How... how could you?!" Roger demanded incredulously. "I don't believe you'd do that!"

"Believe it or not, Roger. That's your choice. What I believe is that if you kill my daughter, you will die and so will your family. That's what Revenge is, Roger. It keeps coming back around and around again. It keeps getting worse. If I don't kill your family after killing you, one of them might try to kill me or my family. I might go to prison for what I will do, but at least my family would be safe from yours. There's only one way to break the cycle, Roger. Put down your gun and give yourself up. You do that, and they live. You live. You serve out the rest of your time and get on with your life afterward. What's it going to be?"

My logic might have been flawed. I don't know. His family might realize what a douchebag he was and forgive me for killing him. I know Alice had told them why she was Divorcing him, but I don't know what they had said to her about it.

Time seemed to stop as Roger held the gun to my daughter's head. I noticed that it was a Hi-Point heavy slide automatic. Not sure what caliber, but my guess would have been 9mm. Not the best gun in the world, but it would do the job he needed it for.

He was thinking. My own sidearm never wavered from its point between his eyes. The hammer was back and a twitch of my finger from the frame to the trigger and a slight squeeze would end his life if necessary. I prayed that I wouldn't have to kill him, but would to protect my family if I had to.

Time was still at a standstill as he kept thinking. I could see the gears turning in his head as he relived everything that had happened to lead us all to this moment in time.

The buzz of my cellphone telling me I had a text message let me know that Ash and the guys from the Force were in place and ready to breach if necessary. Time started moving again as Roger got tears in his eyes and looked at me. "You really would, wouldn't you?"

"If you hurt my daughter or my ex-wife, you bet your ass I would. What I said before still stands, though. We can all walk out of here together, Roger. Just put the gun down. Let this end." I was now much calmer than I had been. There was still a chance that everyone could make it out alive.

Roger shook his head slowly with a sad smile on his face. "I can't go back to prison, Jim. I'm sorry, but I just can't. You have no idea what it's like in there."

With a determined expression, Roger put the gun under his chin.

"Roger, NO!" I shouted as he squeezed the trigger.

The shot was like a crack of thunder from a lightning strike only a few feet away. It was deafening, and the top of Roger's head exploding sprayed pinkish gray brain matter all over the place. The strange thought that he must have been using hollow-points entered my head as I saw the entire top half of his explode from the self-inflicted gunshot.

The tableau was broken as his body fell backwards, his dead hands releasing Patty as he fell. Patty fell forward, stunned by the shot and wondering why she wasn't dead.

My own gun was at my side as I had dropped my hands in shock. It was as if it was happening in slow motion, his body falling backward as Patty fell forward. Time was still running in slow motion as I heard the crash of Flo's apartment door being bashed in by a battering ram.

The next thing I knew, the SWAT team had me on the ground with my hands cuffed behind my back. There was yelling and screaming going on, and I didn't remember anything else until I came to a few minutes later.

Ash was holding me tight. The SWAT guys were apologizing profusely to me and the EMTs were tending to Patty and Flo.

Both of them were in a state of shock at what had just happened. Now, we'd all seen people die in the movies, but he reality of Roger blowing his own brains out was something else entirely. Hell, I was kind of in a state of shock too, I guess. However, mine was tempered by a relief so profound that I couldn't begin to describe it. My daughter was alive! I was alive! Oh, yeah, and Flo was alive. Ashleigh was sitting beside me and we held each other.

* * * * * 

And that was how Patty and Flo found out that I was with Ash as more than just friends. We'd managed to keep it somewhat of a secret, even in our small town. Most people thought she was renting a room at my house. It wasn't shame or anything like that. We'd just wanted to keep our private lives private for a while before we made the big announcement.

Patty liked Ash, and Flo finally accepted that I'd moved on with my life. She was surprised that I had taken up with Ash, as I'd never dated a black woman before, but oh well. I'd never had a thing against someone's skin color, so why should I care about who I dated. Beauty is beauty, no matter what color the package. And oh, what a package Ash is! In all honesty, the contrast in our skin tones as we make love is extremely erotic.

Patty got over what Roger had done after about 6 months. She had a few recurring nightmares, but her new husband got her into see a shrink and after a while, she was ok again.

Flo wasn't quite as traumatized, but still needed some time to get her life back together. She's dating a guy now who sees her as a woman that made a few mistakes, but is actually a good person underneath. I wish her luck. I just can't take her back when I have a woman like Ash with me now. Ash and I have gone public with our relationship, and everyone in town knows. There are the whispers from some folks, of course. But that doesn't matter much to me.

What matters to me is that we love each other, and just the other day, I got the news that Kenna is expecting again, and so is Patty.

The kicker is that so is Ashleigh. I'm going to be a father again!

We survived what could have been Armageddon with Roger being the catalyst. At least he saw reason... to a point. The only regret I have is that he didn't live through it. I know better than to blame myself, though. He, in the end, brought it on himself.

Life goes on, and life is pretty damn good!

The End

* * * * *

Afterword:

There you have it, folks. My take on "A Joke". Agree or disagree. That's your right. I had to write this one for me, more than anything else. 

The consequences of Cheating: Lack of trust is the biggest factor. Even if, like in this one, no real infidelity took place, the perception was there. You can argue that mutual masturbation between Flo and Roger constituted cheating, and you would be right. However, without physical penetration, it didn't move into the legal realm of infidelity.

The consequences of Revenge: Revenge is a vulture that keeps picking at the people involved until there is nothing left. Revenge takes on a life of its own and will keep going until nobody is left to keep the Revenge going. At the end, Roger realized that Jim would do as he said he would. He didn't see a way out, as he would be looking at an automatic 10 years for escape, and an additional 25 to Life for kidnapping, this time. 2 counts. Flo and Patty. Would Jim have followed through on what he said to Roger if his scare tactic hadn't worked? That, dear readers, is for you to decide.

I.D.