3 comments/ 21631 views/ 15 favorites Normal Ch. 04-06 By: Fot1234 This story contains elements of futanari (girl with a penis) on female, pregnancy, and rape. All characters involved are at least 18 years old. ***** Chapter 4 I'm 100% sure Amanda didn't set up that morning. For one thing, I'm sure she didn't want that all to happen. But the sheer number of things that came together still make me wonder. It took everything - Amanda's words, her pose, even the window being left open to let the sun in. Without all of that I don't think I would have reacted like I did. It was the start of our morning ritual. Amanda was stripping to topless behind me, while I took off my panties and shorts. Getting laid whenever I wanted had me really mellowed out, and I let the sound of her complaints wash over me without really listening. It had bothered me originally, but by now I simply didn't care - she could bitch all she wanted, because in a minute she was going to be using her mouth for something much more enjoyable. I had just finished up, and was just about to turn when her words caught me. "... I mean jeez Sally, look at this! I'm getting a cum gut! You know how much I'm going to have to work out for this? I almost look pregnant!" And I turned slowly, and just looked at her. I've tried to describe this scene before, but I don't think words can do it justice. It makes me wish I was dorky enough to wear one of those google eyeglass deals, just so I would have a picture of it. As is, it's seared into my memory. I'm sure Amanda was just trying to emphasize her stomach in hopes I would see it and relent, but this is what I saw: She was in profile to me, with the sun behind her, and I could only make out her silhouette. Her hands were down to each side of her stomach, and from that angle it looked like she was cradling it gently. All of her flaws were hidden - washed out by the sun - and all I could see before me was perfection. Her breasts lay large and heavy against her chest, and combined with the slight bulge of her stomach the entire thing just screamed out maternity. Pregnancy. Fertility. Her words disappeared from my awareness. I walked over to her - it was all I could do not to literally pounce - and pulled her body flush against mine, kissing her. I had only a glance of her eyes, wide and startled, before I was lost in the feel of her mouth against mine, her tits against mine, and my cock pressed between her legs, nestling up against her pussy. I could feel her slit through her panties, I was so hard. I let go of her suddenly, ignoring her sputtered comments and questions. My eyes swept the room - right. This would work. Without ceremony, I grabbed the two closest computers and pushed them out of the way. The fact that both monitors and one tower crashed to the floor was completely unimportant - I don't think I would have cared even without my power to protect me. I turned back, grabbed Amanda, and forced her down and back to the table. She stared up at me, her eyes still wide, trembling. Amanda wasn't an idiot, and I think she could tell what I planned, and it scared her - it was taking her farther than she was willing to go. For a second, I felt that pressure behind my eyes again, that I'd only felt before once on That Day. If I had been thinking clearly that might have made me think and stop, but as it was all I could see that Amanda suddenly relaxed. I like to look back and think that if she had really objected, I would have stopped, but if I'm honest I don't think it mattered to that point. I would have continued even if she was frightened out of her mind. I could tell from that look in her eye what she was about to do, so I grabbed my panties off the floor and gagged her before she could talk. Then I pulled her off and beheld her pussy in all its glory. Which was... not much. I mean don't get me wrong, I like vagina a lot better now, but give me a nice set of tits to look at any day. Despite my other attributes, I am a girl, and I was familiar with the mechanics before me. Dry fucking Amanda sounded painful and not very much fun, so I got down on my knees for once and she became the first person I gave head to. I had no intention of letting her finish, but hopefully a couple of minutes of licking would get her ready for my cock. Predictably, I wasn't very good at it. Probably better than a boy since I had my own, but not by a lot. Thankfully Amanda had normal physical reactions to my tongue and fingers, and a few minutes later I thought she was wet enough. I shoved a couple of fingers in her and used that to lube up, then I stood, pulled up her legs, and lined up my cock with her opening. Amanda was panting and I could tell she was turned on a bit, but she didn't seem very into it. And I gave exactly zero fucks about that, and started to push in. I had thought, in my naivete, that the past month was about as good as sex could get. I couldn't imagine anything better than Amanda's tits and mouth, and it was the best thing I'd ever experienced. But as her pussy enveloped me, I knew I had been wrong. Feeling my head spreading her, the resistance as I pushed in, and her so hot and tight, was incredible. In that moment I knew this was something I couldn't go back from, that I would be fucking Amanda's pussy on a regular basis. I trembled as I finally got all the way in, and just sat there enjoying the feeling. Then I started to pull out to give her a good hard fuck, and felt her walls slightly squeeze on the head of my cock, and - well, shit. I was coming. It was kind of pitiful. I doubt I lasted 15 seconds, but Amanda just felt that good that I couldn't help it. I pressed back into her as far as I could and just leaned my weight into her, panting, as I felt myself spurt deep inside her. I wondered if this would knock her up, if she was ovulating. If she was on birth control, the whole time I was coming inside of her. Finally I felt myself finish, and I opened my eyes. Amanda was smirking, and I could practically see her thoughts. She mouthed something at me - I think it was "one minute wonder" - and I got mad. I just smiled at her sweetly (if you're a girl you know that smile - the one that says I may be smiling but I am going to enjoy ripping your guts out) and pulled halfway out and then slammed into her, making her gasp. My cum had mingled with her juices, and I could slide in and out easily now. And I started actually fucking her. My first orgasm was enough that I could last, but her pussy was so hot and tight that I couldn't move fast. I worked myself slowly in and out, trying different strokes and movements - this was my first time having sex, and it took me a while to find a motion that worked. Our positioning wasn't great either - I had to hold Amanda's legs, and I'm sure the table wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. Eventually though, I found my rhythm and started actually giving it to her. And it was... Well. Huh. Not as good as I expected. Don't get me wrong - she still felt amazing. But that feeling of resistance and tightness was mostly gone, and I was just sliding back and forth. Good, but like it was... missing something. That it could be better. I looked at Amanda. She wasn't into it - she might be physically turned on enough for me to fuck her without injury, but she was miles away from orgasm. But I liked that I could see her breasts, and maybe playing with them would add something. I made her wrap her legs around me, holding herself up, and then I slid my hands up her body and cupped her breasts into my hands. And as my hands slid over her nipples, rubbing both of them simultaneously, I felt the walls of her pussy twitch, constricting around me for a moment. I looked at her closely - she was still trying to look calm, but I was sure what I had felt. Experimentally I slid my hands down the sides, then came up and pinched her nipples without warning. This time I got a slight gasp - it was low enough that I would have missed it if I wasn't watching - and the pulse around my cock was slightly stronger. Now this had possibilities. Amanda being into the sex was the missing component, and I pursued it relentlessly. I had spent a lot of time the past month messing around with her breasts, and I put that knowledge to good use. I'd never got her really turned on before, but apparently after getting head and being fucked for a while things were different. I worked her breasts without pause while I ground my cock into her, leaning over and using my mouth and hands. I cupped her ass and dug my nails in while I fucked her, I tried different angles and speeds, I played with her clit. I used every trick I could think of, and the entire time I watched and felt her, and I learned her body. Her orgasm, when it came, was amazing - the walls of her cunt fluttered against my cock, and I cried out her name as I came inside her for the second time that morning, if anything even harder than the first. Now just to clarify, I didn't actually care if Amanda enjoyed sex. Any actual affection I'd had for her had been lost in the wave of her constant bitching, and I wouldn't even have classified us as fuck buddies - we weren't that close. But I absolutely loved the feel of her body reacting to me, of her pussy milking my cock when I came with her, and so it was for my own pleasure that I learned how to make her enjoy sex. I didn't let up on her, of course. This was a four load morning, and I had only delivered two. I played her body, learning it like an instrument, and she came twice more before I gave her my third shot, pounding her as hard as I could until I came deep inside. The fact that we were doing this with no condom, that I was flooding her womb with sperm, just added spice - an edge - to the sex. I didn't seriously think I could knock her up - I assumed she was on birth control - so it was a "safe" danger, like a scary movie or a roller coaster, but even the thought of maybe getting her pregnant made me excited. I figured three in her pussy was good enough. She was panting, still coming down from her last orgasm, when I spun her so her head was over the edge of the table. She looked up at me in a daze, and then I had my panties out of her mouth and replaced them with my cock. I took it slow - she was well fucked, and I figured she needed some time to recover - but I was also insistent. My fourth time in a row always takes a while, so I didn't worry about hurrying, letting her spend most of the time sucking on the head, and only occasionally hilting myself in her mouth, my balls resting on her face. I also idly played with breasts as she worked my cock, and it was interesting to note that she was still reacting, still horny - I wondered if I could make her cum from blowing me. Regretfully I decided I didn't have time right now, I'd have to try it sometime later. Eventually I felt myself get close, and I gave her mouth a real fucking until I came. I gave her most of my cum down her throat - a real perverse part of me wanted to make sure that cum gut didn't go away - but I pulled out at the end and made sure she got a fair amount on her face and tits so she could display my taking of her all day. After we got dressed, I took her to her first class. Watching my cum drip down her leg as she walked got me hard again, as did the fact that she was obviously having trouble moving from the pounding I'd given her. Riding on that high, potential consequences were the furthest thing from my mind. I walked to my class without a care in the world, and day dreaming about all the ways I was going to fuck Amanda. Chapter 5 It is hard for me, looking back, to write about this time with any objectivity. I had reached some threshold where my behavior - and the lack of any restraints - reached some critical point, and I believe I went crazy. And I don't mean the kinda-good woo-hoo party girl crazy, I mean that I went insane. Amanda was no longer a real human being to me. She was a walking toy - a body, technically intelligent, but mostly something to use for my own pleasure. I wasn't delusional - I knew intellectually that she had her own thoughts, plans, and needs - but none of that factored into my decisions or actions. The closest description I can come to our relationship was that she was my pet, but even then, most people care more about their pets than I did about Amanda. The only thing I cared about Amanda was her ability to give me pleasure. My blindness towards the consequences of sex also amazes me. On the one hand the entire reason - the critical event - that led to sex had involved pregnancy. I wanted to knock Amanda up more than almost anything - it felt like it would be the most primal expression possible of my ownership of her body. To force her to carry my child, to mark her permanently for the world to know what I was doing to her, to make her a mother. But at the same time, I was willfully blind to the possibility. It never occurred to me that it would actually happen, even though we were having constant unprotected sex. I never worried about the actual practicalities of two school girls with a child, or what it might mean to her future (or even mine). Events would conspire to shock me back to my senses eventually, but in the meantime I had lots of sex. Lots, and lots, of sex. * * * I felt, sometimes, that I was exploring a pyramid of sexual debauchery. I had started at the top with masturbation, worked my way down to hands and mouths - blowjobs, titjobs, and eating girls out - and now I'd arrived at the next level, actual fucking. And each time I descended, more possibilities opened to me, more pleasures to explore. In the course of my life I'd watched a lot of porn (healthy girl, remember?) and I had a lot of ideas to try out now that I had taken that first step. The second time with Amanda I stuck with missionary, and to this day it's still my favorite way to fuck her. Seeing her spread out before me like a feast to devour at my leisure, being able to play with and fondle her tits whenever I wanted, and having her helpless beneath me as I pounded my dick into her - it all adds up. It's deliciously dominant, and it makes it easy for me to watch her reactions and work her to orgasm. Watching her eyes as I forced her to come on my cock gives me an awesome rush of power and control. The third time we tried doggy style, and to my surprise I liked it. I had assumed it wouldn't do anything for me and we'd go to something else, but I felt I should give it a try. I mean, who wants to fuck a girl while you can't watch her tits? That's the best part! But I found that once we got the position right I was able to grope her at will as I worked myself into her, and that made up a bit for the lack of visuals. But the biggest turn on was the primal nature of the act. I think it's in the name - doggy style. I think it's entirely psychological, but it feels animalistic and base, like I was truly making her my bitch, more than any other position. The first time she came on my cock while I pounded her from behind, one hand gripping her hair and the other roughly working one of her tits, I knew I'd be doing it again. On what would be the fourth day, Amanda was on her period. * * * You wouldn't think I'd be surprised by that, right? I mean, I'm a girl, I know what happens once a month. Obviously this would be happening sometime. But it caught me entirely by surprise. I'm also unsure of my reaction to it. We'd defiled the computer room to the point where it permanently smelled of sex, and there were stains covering the floor. But somehow the thought of fucking her and seeing blood was a turn off. So that day we went back to Amanda's mouth and tits, and her pussy a break. I had, of course, been using her mouth at least once a day, but now for the first time in a week she also got two coats all over her. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it - at how much I'd missed seeing her absolutely covered in my spunk - and I decided I'd need to keep that a regular occurrence, even if it meant I couldn't plow her quite as often. But it left me restless, and the longer the day went the less satisfied I felt. The thought of not being able to use Amanda's pussy for a week seemed unthinkable. It was mine - it was unfair that I'd be barred from using it as I wished, whenever I wished. I'd have to find another option. I thought about, but rejected, anal. If blood was bad, the idea of potentially mixing in poop... let's just say it wasn't my thing (it didn't occur to me that I could make her clean herself out beforehand). There had to be a way for me to keep using her pussy, somewhere... oh. Oh, yes. That would work. * * * Amanda looked uneasy as I led her her into the girl's shower. She couldn't talk through her mouthful of panties, but I could see from her eyes and how she was walking that she didn't like where this was going. I knew why - unlike the computer lab, gym did have a first hour class. Which meant we had, at most, 45 minutes before other people arrived, and I normally kept her for at least an hour. I didn't really care, but I also wasn't quite ready to risk fucking her right out in the open. For once, though, I had cause to be happy that our school was old and things had been moved around and changed several times. The current shower had a little corner tucked away - there were lights and water heads, but it was hidden and out of sight from someone just looking in. It was a commonly rumored hookup spot, and it was perfect for this. Amanda was still reluctant as she started getting out of her clothes, but I wasn't in the mood and forcefully stripped her, then told her to start the water at a comfortable level. I placed our clothes out of the way where they shouldn't get too wet, had Amanda spread her legs and lean against the wall under the spray, and pulled some lube out of my purse. I had done some research into shower sex yesterday, and I knew that water wouldn't actually work as a great lubricant. Plus, I really wasn't in the mood to get Amanda horny yet. I worked some into her and on myself - probably too much, but I wasn't taking any chances - put it down, then grabbed her hips and pushed in before the water could wash it away. In terms of pure physical pleasure, I can't really recommend it. The floor was cold on our feet, slippery and not incredibly comfortable. The spray was annoying, and the angle wasn't as good as I'd expected - it worked, but trying to grope Amanda almost made me fall over twice, so I limited myself to just tweaking her nipples since I could reach them earlier. And even after I came in her the first time, I eventually had to re-lube to keep things comfortable. But it did work to keep the blood out of sight and out of mind. From a psychological standpoint? I fucking loved it. It just flat out did it for me. It's weird how the human brain works - technically I think we had been more exposed in the computer lab, with only a single door between us and someone barging in. In here, someone would have to go around two corners, and we'd hear them in plenty of time to stop. But it felt more exposed, more dangerous. And so I decided to push things. I slowed down and delayed my second orgasm, trying to keep Amanda right on the edge. I think she knew what I was doing - she looked back at me with desperation in her eyes. This was pushing her again, and as our eyes connected I felt that pressure behind my eyes. And I saw the fear drain away, and Amanda turned back to the wall and let her head down, just standing there and accepting my cock. And for the first time I felt disappointment in my power. I had liked seeing the fear in Amanda's eyes as she realized I was going to fuck her to orgasm in front of her friends. It had almost felt like a physical force, feeding my lust. Losing it made me angry, petulant, like a child with a new toy taking away, and that made me cruel, took away my inhibitions. Normal Ch. 04-06 Finally, I heard voices. The next few minutes were a torment - could it really take them this long to get ready to shower? - but finally I heard them enter the main room. I leaned over, pressing my breasts into Amanda's back, and pulled her panties out of her mouth. "You do want to say hi to your friends, don't you Amanda?" I whispered in her ear, and then I sat back, got a good grip on her hips and gave her all I had. I could hear the sound of my hips slapping into her ass echo through the room. We were both close, but I knew how to push her buttons, and I'd been edging her for a while. Her orgasm was incredible - her entire body bucked, her cunt clamping down like a vise on my cock as she moaned and cried, the sound of her voice incredibly loud as it echoed against the walls. I felt my own body react to her coming, and then I was bursting inside of her, filling her over and over with my seed. I rode her orgasm out, just trying to hang on and not fall over. And when I opened my eyes, I smiled and said hi to our audience as I started to fuck Amanda again. It was incredibly erotic to watch Amanda try and have normal conversations as I was plowing her. It amused me to get rougher and rougher with her - Amanda likes a bit of slap and tickle, but I pushed her well beyond her comfort zone to see her react in front of other people. A few people talked to me too, of course, and I found that funny as hell - "Hi, how are you? Oh, just fucking the shit out of Amanda here. That's nice.", but this was mostly a group of Amanda's friends, and I took great joy in making her react to me in the middle of every sentence. Finally most of them finished showering and left. I knew how I wanted to end this, so I pulled out of Amanda, turned her around and pushed her to the floor. I finished down her throat and on her face (turning off the spray first, of course - I didn't want any to be wasted or washed off). After I helped her get dressed - I'm not sure she would have been physically capable of it alone - then gave her a slap on the ass and left her to find her way. I would have escorted her, but I found my fetish for publicly taking Amanda had already been satisfied. I'd settle for seeing her again at lunch. I made a mental mark to use the shower even when Amanda wasn't on her period, and went along my day. Chapter 6 I was lying on my back with Amanda riding me, cowgirl style. Her breasts were cupped in my hands, and I had my thumbs poised over her nipples, waiting for the opportune moment. (Ugh. Pirates movies. I used to love those until I learned that Kiera's cleavage wasn't real. Broke my heart, and my enjoyment of the film). She was working herself quickly up and down, trying to get off, but I was playing with her - moving with her to reduce movement and friction instead of finding a rhythm. She makes these incredibly cute little moans when she's close and frustrated, and I was enjoying the hell out of teasing her. Despite this situation, I wasn't a huge fan of cowgirl. From my perspective it offered one big benefit - I could spend the entire time concentrating on her breasts - and it was fun to make her do the work and get herself off on my dick. But other positions offered much better opportunities for control, for dominating her completely. Plus, while Amanda was currently trying to work herself to orgasm, I could tell she wasn't really into it. She was doing it because she knew she had to, not because she really wanted to, and that took some of the fun out of making her do the work. But I did like mixing things up, and lately Amanda had gotten more pliant. I think getting laid, however reluctantly, was eroding her resistance to me. I almost never had to gag her or actually use my power on her anymore - she didn't bitch when she was getting fucked, and just telling her what to do was enough. So I was enjoying the fact that Amanda could - if she wanted - get up now and walk away. I mean if she tried, I'd order her back and I'd have to punish her, but I don't think it even occurred to her that she could. Finally I saw what I was waiting for - the flash of gold hair that indicated Amanda's BFF, Tina. I waited until Amanda was pushing down, and I pushed my hips up instead of moving down, filling her with my length. I saw her eyes go wide with surprise, and then roll back as I dug my thumbs into her nipples, gripping her breasts roughly and grinding them together. The combination was too much, and I watched with satisfaction as she came loudly on top of me while Tina approached. Finally she finished and collapsed down on top of me, breathing hard against my neck. Amanda's panting, sweaty body on top of me wasn't great, but her tits pressed into mine were, so I sat for a second and enjoyed it. I took another to appreciate Tina's cheerful "Hey Amanda girl, wassup?" as she addressed her well-fucked friend, although I cringed a bit inside at her deliberately out of date slang. But then it was time to start the next step, so I gave Amanda's ass a quick hard spank to get her attention. She gasped, and I reminded her, "Sucky sucky time, Amanda girl. But don't worry, take the time to talk to Tina too." Resigned, she levered herself up on her hands and slid down my body, then started alternating sucking me off and chatting with Tina. In case you can't tell, I'd become a bit obsessed with making Amanda do sexual acts in front of her friends. It rocked my world to have her - even absentmindedly - giving me a great blowjob one sec, deep throating, licking, and of course making eye contact - and the next second coming up for air and responding to Tina like everything was normal. I could have come almost immediately, but I held off because I knew the next payoff was coming right up. And yep, here we go - Amanda's new boyfriend, Brad, walked in the room. He walked up to her, smiling. She pulled off of me, smiled back, and... yes. Yes. Oh god, her kissing him with my cum on my lips. I couldn't take it - I held off for a second to let them do a bit more, but then I was grabbing her head and pulling her back down. I barely got my cock back in her mouth before I was coming again, my orgasm making me lose control and hump her mouth as I came hard down her throat. I hilted into her mouth and ground into her as I came, but I had enough presence of mind left to stop about halfway through. I made sure to give her a solid shot directly into her mouth - I wanted to make sure Brad and her would be tasting it - and then I pulled out and came all over her outside, rubbing my cock into her face and hair as I finally finished and started to go limp. My erection started to come back though, because after I let her up I got to watch Amanda go back to kissing Brad. With tongue. So good. The cafeteria had definitely been a great idea. * * * In the month since I'd first fucked her, I'd defiled the school with sex, with Amanda's body as my altar. My favorite locations were semi-public - I liked to start out in a private corner, out of sight, but be somewhere where people would walk by, or hear the noise and stop to see what was going on. They didn't care that it was sex - my power took care of that - but I made sure Amanda and I were loud, and we got attention. The showers had been first, and I'd followed up with anywhere that caught my fancy - classrooms, the principal's office, every single bathroom in the building, and now the cafeteria. And I felt satisfied, and content. I was having sex whenever I wanted, however I wanted. My kinks were satisfied, my cock was satisfied. Life was better than I could ever have imagined. But as I was lying there on my back - my pants pulled down, and Amanda mostly naked standing in front of me as she made out with her boyfriend - something felt wrong. I wasn't sure what it was, but my subconscious was yelling at me, and I started paying attention to what was going on. As I've said before, I had learned to tune out Amanda's bitching and complaining, but apparently part of my brain was listening and it was throwing up red flags. I usually only paid attention to what Amanda was saying when I was fucking her while she talked to her friends, because then it turned me on, so it took me a second to concentrate on her and Brad talking so the words made sense. It sounded like he was, good naturally, poking a little fun at Amanda's cum gut. As a girl I can tell you that was a super risky move - seriously, joking about weight? - but to my surprise she didn't take offense, instead mumbling something like "...ing for two." I started hyperventilating. I could not have heard that right. I sat up and said something intelligent like "guhwhat?!" as I grabbed Amanda's arm to get her attention. She turned to me and frowned. "Seriously Sally?" I stopped - I had to get control of myself. I managed to ask her clearly what she just said. If anything she frowned at me more, then sighed. "I said, Sally, I'm eating for two. Can you not hear?" Amanda was pregnant. I stared, and felt my world crashing down. Amanda was pregnant. I managed to choke something out - was it mine? Was she sure? At another time her response would have just gotten me horny at the weirdness of the situation - "Oh jeez Sally, I'm not a slut! I've only been dating Brad for a few days, do you really think I'd put out? Of course it's yours. And yes, I got the test and saw the doctor yesterday." She was blushing furiously, apparently at talking like that in front of Brad, but her words faded away. I felt numb. I had to... I had to get away. I got up, stumbling, and made my way out of the building, leaving Amanda's chattering behind. I think I might have been sick into the street. I found a convenient bush, crawled behind it, and just... stopped thinking for a while. * * * I woke up and felt better for about five seconds, and then I remembered what had just happened. I tried to throw up again, but I was mostly empty at this point. I stumbled out, found one of the school benches and sat down heavily, and just stared at nothing. My reaction to knocking Amanda up is what convinces me I wasn't thinking right. I had literally fantasized about this exact situation a few hours ago. I remember being satisfied as I nutted into Amanda, as I watched myself cum in her and seeing some of it drip out. It felt good because it was sex, of course, but seeing my sperm ooze from her pussy also excited me because I knew I might have just impregnated her. The issue was that the reality of Amanda the Mother of my Children didn't fit with Amanda my Sex Pet. I had created a box in my head for her - where the normal rules didn't apply, where I could do what I wanted with no consequence, no regrets or worries about the future. And now that box was cracking, and she didn't fit, and that meant I could no longer justify to myself what I had been doing to her. I knew that Amanda should have been humiliated by my actions, if my power hadn't been taking her will away from her. I'd taken pleasure from that - from raping her in front of her friends, from doing things I knew she'd object to if she'd just been capable. And now the guilt of all those actions were crashing down on me, in waves of regret, and shock, and anger at myself. How could I have done that? What... what the hell had I been thinking? What was I becoming? I crawled into a ball on that bench, and just let myself cry and scream out my angst. And eventually, exhausted, I slept again. * * * I woke up when the bells rang. I know it's a bit cliche, but I found it to be true - after my reaction I felt hollow, worn out, like I wasn't really there. I walked home like a zombie - I'd missed a day of class, I had none of my books or homework, but I didn't really care. I got home and locked myself in my room. And tried to think, to come up with a way to fix the giant mess I'd gotten myself into. Because god help me, I wanted to do it all again.