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Reflections

By: Rellik04



Now an old man I was sitting in a railway carriage opposite two women dressed as nuns, one mature, the other quite young, My mind went back 60 years. At that time I was a member of what is now referred to as Special Forces but in my time as Special Operations.

I was parachuted into France in early April of 1944 to prepare for the forthcoming landing later in the year. Everything seemed to have gone wrong, the first plane only got 50 miles before it had to turn back. Then the weather was that bad they couldn't fly for several days. Eventually when I did manage to do my drop it was in an area where there was a large concentration of German troops in fact two battalion of SS Storm Troopers. The worst or was it the best part I was blown away off target by the strong winds and landed in a compound of a walled building. My black parachute and the soft landing on the lawn saved me from being observed or heard by any of the guards if there were any.

I Undid my harness, rolled up the chute, tucked it under my arm and made my way around the wall looking for an exit. The first door I came to was a normal door built into the wall with a little trap door at eye level. Opening this flap slowly I looked out only to see a Panzer sitting only about 10 feet away. I closed the little hatch and continued my search for an exit. I came upon the main entrance with a large gate again with a small spy hatch fitted. I repeated the procedure only to find more German troops assembled there.

The only thing was to find some suitable hiding place to spend the night and figure out what to do next. The only opening I found was an outside access, which was usually into a coal bunker, but when I opened it there was no sign of or smell of coal. I daren't strike or show a light so I observed by the moonlight a space at the bottom of the steps, gently closing the trap-door like doors and descended the stairs. On reaching the bottom I laid the parachute down and lay on top of it.

A foot was gently probing me, and woke me up. I must have gone out like a light, another great start to the operation. The foot that was probing me belonged to a nun, a quite pretty one at that all dressed in black with a white cap on her head, a black scarf on top and a cross on a chain around her waist.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in here?" she asked in French but is a soft voice as if not wanting to be heard.

"I parachuted in last night from England, I'm here to help the partisans. It appears I have landed a bit off target."

"There are Germans all around us, they won't allow us to leave and only allow food to be delivered to us. We must obey, for we are harbouring refugee Jews, so we mustn't draw attention to ourselves. If they suspected you were in here, or had been in here they would search the convent and we would all be punished, for they would certainly find the refugees. You stay right there whilst I fetch Mother Superior."

I had landed in not a coal cellar, but looked like a laundry and access to their kitchen. Only a few feet away from where I was lying was an alcove I could have hidden in, but which I couldn't see last night. Too late now the nun knew I was here and I tried to do as she said, not draw attention to myself. A few minutes later a mature nun, with a different headdress but otherwise dressed the same as the other nun came into the room.

"Oh why did you come here we have enough trouble, I cannot let you leave, for there are too many German troops in the area. They are expecting an invasion any time. You will have to stay inside the convent, there is a small room I can put you in but I want no-one else to know you are here. Sister Jacqueline, or myself will be the only ones who know you are here. So please don't leave the room, our lives all depend on you doing as I say."

I was at this time standing against the wall and she spotted the parachute.

"I must dispose of this; I will give the cloth to the refugees, to make something for themselves. The material is too good to throw away, the rest I will burn in the boiler fire."

With that she scooped up the parachute, Sister Jacqueline grabbed me by the arm and pulled me after her down a passage way at the other end of the laundry and into a room. The room was fitted with a wide single bed, a chair, a wardrobe that had seen better days with a room off with a toilet and washbasin but only cold water. The floor was stone slab, one small light bulb, and a very small window about seven inches deep and brown with age.

"I or Mother Superior will bring you some bedding, but you have to stay in this room, only flush the toilet at night."

Neither worried about my pistol, which was the only weapon I carried. I had dropped light expecting to be picked up by the Resistance, but I expect they now thought I had been captured or dead. I kicked off my boots and lay down on the bed. It looks if my war was over until whichever allied troops arrived in this area first. It seems the Germans at least have respected the convent, which is a good thing for me.

For three weeks either Sister Jacqueline or Mother Superior brought me at least two meals a day. They even done my washing for me, and escorted me during the night to a bathroom where I could at least bathe myself. Mother Superior brought me a few books to read and some weren't what you expected a nun to read.

Then one night about one o'clock I heard the door open and this time the light wasn't switched on. Usually when either of them came to take me for a bath they entered and switched the light on. This change of habit aroused my suspicions and I was thinking someone else had entered the room until the shadowy figure spoke.

"It's me Mother Superior," she said with a whisper.

"What's the matter, have the Germans entered the convent?"

"No nothing like that, I have come to see you."

Even although it was a bright moonlight night the light that passed through the tiny window just broke the darkness and made everything murky. The first thing I noticed she wasn't wearing her hood or scarf, and her hair was long. I thought all nuns had their hair cut short; well they do in the movies. She came straight up to the bed and lay down along side of me. I didn't know what to do, any other woman I would have jumped at the chance ,but a nun, I'm protestant but I have always respected nuns from whatever religion.

"I want you to hold me, please, just hold me," she pleaded.

Well that wasn't too bad, everyone likes a hug now and again. I saw nothing at all wrong in that, so I put my arms around her. She slipped under the bedding and we were holding each other very close indeed. Even although she was wearing a thick flannel nightdress I felt her breasts against my chest and she must have felt my raging penis pressed against her lower abdomen.

No matter how pious you are you can't help but give someone this close a peck on the cheek. When I done this she pulled me even closer if that was at all possible. We lay in each others arms for about an hour then she got out of bed, leant over and planted a kiss on my lips then departed. Strange I thought, but as I said everyone needs comforting at one time or another. I dropped off to sleep with erotic thoughts going around in my mind.

Two nights later the same time, but this time she came straight into bed and held me close. After about ten minutes she whispered in my ear. "I want you to make love to me."

"You WHAT!" I almost shouted in disbelieve, I thought I had miss-heard what she asked.

"I want to feel like a woman, I have suppressed these desires long enough. Once this war is over I am leaving the order to and go and live a normal life. Feel; I have even taken off my marriage ring. To-night I am not a bride of Christ; I am a woman wanting her desires satisfied. I know you desire me, I felt it the other night."

With that she put her hand down and encircled my nine inch tool. The touch of her hand was all I needed to become rock hard. Then she pressed her lips to mine and ground her mouth onto mine with her tongue exploring between my lips. I slipped my hand onto her breast and she let out a sigh, and then asked. "Do you want me to take off my nightdress?"

"It would be much better, but that is up to you."

She let go what she was doing sat up and in seconds she was again pressed against my naked body and she felt wonderful as her flesh pressed against mine. Her breasts were far larger than I had imagined always hidden by her habit. I lowered my head and took a nipple in my mouth as I massaged her wonderfully pliable orb. This brought sighs of pleasure from her but when I slipped my hand down and enclosed her mound in my hand she first clamped her legs together, and then slowly opened them allowing me to run one finger up her very moist crack. Finding her button of pleasure hiding under the flap of her vulva lips.

This action alone made her tense and thrust her pelvis up, opening her legs a little more so I could more easily reach this site of pleasure. Soon it was sticking out hard and so very sensitive to the slightest touch. Her juices were flowing in preparation for what she was wanting next.

I didn't disappoint her, for I got between her legs and slipped the head of my penis in and slid into her passage as if we had been doing this for years. She raised her knees and locked her legs around my thighs, locking me in.

"Please say you love me, I don't care if you mean it or not I just want to hear a man say he loves me," she pleaded.

"I love you, I can't say Reverent Mother, what is your name?"

"Katherine with a K."

"Well I'll call you Kate."

"Kate I love you, and I love the way you hold my cock in your body, I really do." With that I held her tighter, and she responded.

"That's all I want, just love me like this and I will be very happy."

She started rocking her hips so I followed and soon I was sliding in and out of her lovely warm body as she showered my face with kisses. To say she appreciated the attention would be an understatement. I too thought she was wonderful and soft and we seemed to blend that easily. Kate climaxed more than I have ever had any woman, and when I eventually blasted my load into her she ground her mouth hard into mine. We lay there for hours locked in this embrace, I think she was afraid to let go. It was getting light as I could distinguish things in the room. I could also see her face and her cascading hair flowing around her shoulders. She was a very lovely woman, and I now saw her in a new light.

I lowered my lips on to hers and said "I love you Kate, I really do. I think you should get up or we will get caught."

She realised what I had said and jumped out of bed slipped her nightdress on the house coat she had dropped on her way to the bed. She blew me a kiss and departed in a flurry.

Unfortunately she had been spotted by Jacqueline who was bringing me my breakfast. I was in the toilet and the bed sheets were pulled back and there for the entire world to see was the all familiar stain on the bed sheets. When I walked into the room she was looking at the stains.

"I know what these stains are caused by; two people making love. Help me take the sheet off I don't want Mother Superior getting into trouble."

I just looked at her. I thought she would have blown her top with just the thought that Kate and I had been fucking.

"I know Mother Superior is leaving the order once this war is over, I too am leaving, we are going together, I've had enough, I want a normal life like any other young woman. That is why Mother Superior and I are so good friends."

"I am glad you are helping Kate, for she is a lovely lady."

"What do you think of me then, am I a lovely lady."

"Sister Jacqueline you're beautiful."

"My real name is Mary, no man has called me beautiful, thank you."

With that she departed and returned shortly with clean sheets which she just put on the chair and left. Later in the day Kate called in.

"I believe we have to thank Sister Jacqueline?"

"Yes she told me you and her are leaving the order together."

"She also wants you to comfort her too. Are you up to comforting two women?"

"I've never been in that situation before, so I don't know."

"Well now you will soon find out, for we are going to share you one night about. So expect Sister Jacqueline to-night," she said coming closer and kissing me on the lips.

It wasn't ten o'clock when Mary came into the room. I had the light on reading and she just stood at the door and looked at me. Her hair was short and she was a platinum blonde, she shed the housecoat and she too was dressed in a flannel nightdress. She switched off the light and came and crawled under the sheets.

"God you are beautiful, even more so." I said to her as she shyly kissed me on the side of the mouth.

"I have longed for this since the first day I saw you. I wanted you then, but not just for the hour, but for ever. Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"No, I haven't thought about it."

Kate was lovely to hold but Mary was extraordinary. She maybe hadn't the bust of Kate but her whole body was soft and pliable. It wasn't until she removed her nightdress that I discovered all this.

It wasn't I who made the first move it was Mary she slid down my body and engulfed my penis into her mouth, but only for a few seconds until she was up beside me once more.

"You are very big; will all that go inside me, without causing pain?"

"No problem Mary you wait, you will want nothing else after this."

I slid down her beautiful body taking one of her breasts in one hand and the others nipple between my lips. My other hand slipped down to her seat of pleasure and she had her legs open to allow me easy access. Her clitoris was standing proud and was easy to find.

I left her breasts and slid down her body, placing my lips on her vaginal lips and slipping my tongue between them. Cupping my tongue I slid my tongue up her inner lips, she grabbed my head and pushed my head closer to her body. The aroma from this most sensitive area on a woman was driving me wild. I was that hard I felt my penis would crack.

I slid up her body and guided my penis into her body and I slowly slid into her warm receptive pussy.

"Oh that is lovely, keep going I feel so nice."

In fact I had slid all the way in and felt her cervix pressing against the head of my penis. She too had wrapped her legs and arms around my body virtually locking me into her.

"Can I come to Britain with you when the war is over? I want you always to make me feel this way."

I ignored her and started pounding into this charming vibrant young woman's body. Mary then rolled her hips and kept moving them in time with me. She was a silent woman during sex but was another who continually kissed me all the time we coupled. When she climaxed it was another thing she just yelled not loud, but with enough volume to be heard in the next room. Also when I shot into her she hugged me tight.

"Oh that was nice, I felt you shoot inside me. Will I become pregnant?"

"I hope not Mary, but if you do I will definitely be taking you back with me."

"What about Mother Superior, I want her to come with us."

"Does she want to come with you though?"

"Oh yes, you can have two wives for the price of one."

"I don't know what my father would say if I turned up with two women to the farm."

"Your father has a farm?"

"Yes, and a rather large farm in British standards."

"Have you any brothers?"

"Not any more my eldest brother was a pilot and was killed during the Battle of Britain. It killed my mother, that leaves Dad and myself."

The next two weeks were a never ending honeymoon with the two ladies, one on alternative nights.

The peace was shattered by the Americans in mid June when they just drove a tank through the main gates and rummaged through the convent. The Germans showed some respect for the convent but the Americans just moved in and evacuated the whole building. It was then that I was wounded by a trigger happy PFC who just broke into the room I was in and opened fire. Lucky my dog tags were exposed when I fell to the ground and he stopped firing. 

It was a God send in one way for the Americans evacuated Mary, Kate and myself to Britain and treated me in one of their many hospitals there. Kate and Mary had told them they were part of my resistance cell and were only posing as nuns, so the Americans treated them as guests until I was well again.

I was medically discharged and the three of us returned to my father's farm. Because Mary kept on calling Kate Mother they thought she was her actual mother, and accepted her. I was married to Mary within the recognised time in our local church.

We lived a happy life, after my father died we moved into the main house from the bungalow we occupied for seven years. That was where our three sons were born. Both Kate and Mary are now dead and I am on my way to one of my sons and seeing these two nuns sitting opposite me, brought back these memories of these two months in France, so many, many years ago.

Reflections



Chapter One

I met Steve by accident really. He was much older than I was, by atleast 25 years. We crossed paths on the subway in the rush hour and for some reason the standing crowd jerked with the train and I lost my balance. As I stepped back I fell directly into his hands that steadied me. I thanked him and from that point onwards we began to chat about this and that and our work in the city. It was simply casual talk that turned eventually into a request from him, which surprised me.

"My name is Steve." He gave me a calling card from his inside pocket. "There. A proper introduction. You have all my details. Name, address, both business and home telephone numbers."

"Thankyou." I replied as I read the card. I was impressed. He was the manager of a well-established ladies lingerie store. "That is very interesting. Will I get any discounts?" I asked him.

"You certainly will. Only one favour I ask?"

"And what would that be?"

"Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow evening?"

I was single and free, having recently said farewell to a really bad relationship. I was lonely and looking for somekind of hobby or even meeting someone new. I needed to get some quiet order in my life again. So, Steve's request gave me some scope to make a new friend despite the age difference. He was quite handsome as older guys are and he certainly passed as a caring responsible gentleman. His greying beard and head of hair added something to his features that I liked. Intelligent and very distinguished.

We arranged to meet a restaurant in the city. It was one that I often fancied visiting and never did until then. The Italian cuisine was the best I had ever tasted in years. The wine was expensive, but I did not care because Steve paid for everything. In a way he wined and dined me as a gentlemen would and although romantic it was, he never over stepped my limits. He seemed to respect me in every way and I appreciated it.

"I have something for you." He said. "I want you to do me a huge favour." No sooner had he said it he called over the headwaiter that brought with him a package. "This favour is special to me." The waiter laid the package before me on the table. "Don't open it yet."

"What is it?" I asked.

"When you get home tonight, I want you to wear the items within. And in two days time you can tell me what you think about them. Call it a gift to a very charming and beautiful lady such as yourself." I thanked him for the gift and hid my enthusiasm to open the package. He sat back and looked at me. Then he made it clear that he knew nothing about me whatsoever. Not even my name. I told him everything he wanted to know.

"Karen is a beautiful name, just like its owner." He said, lighting his cigar. "I hope you don't mind me smoking. It's the only bad habit I have. Infact, I have never had any habits that are considered to be bad apart from smoking. Can you believe that?"

I looked at him, resting my chin on my hands and smiled. "Are you married?"

"Never been married my dear. Not even a long-term relationship with any woman. Infact, I don't seek one either. I am happy to be alone in live with my successful career. Women's lingerie is my life."

I didn't believe a word he told me. But I was willing to accept it, for now. "So, you like me? Enough to ask me to dinner. A perfect stranger you knew nothing about until after you wined and dined me and gave me a gift. That is certainly interesting for starters."

"I find you intriguing. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Not at all. Just a little unusual. You have not even asked if I am married or attached to anyone. Don't you want to atleast know that?"

"No. I know you are single. I can tell." He seemed proud of that fact, almost arrogant. This gentlemen was suddenly acting as if he had caught me like prey and insisted on charming me further. "Don't get me wrong Karen. I don't need a relationship. I just want us to share time together this evening as we are now. And again, if you will permit, the evening after tomorrow?"

"Why? Is it important?" I asked. He laughed, blowing smoke into the air. 

"Not really. You can refuse me if you like. But then, why do so? You see I am not going to harm you in anyway. I have a request. It's simply harmless. But I will ask you next time."

Now he was becoming a man of tantalising mystery. I took deep breath and he suddenly asked the waiter for the bill. He made it clear the evening was over and ordered us both two cabs. One for him and one for me. Then we left the restaurant together and departed in different directions in our respective cabs.

When I got home I unwrapped the package, finding a beautiful pink basque and a single pair of panties to match perfectly. Both items looked expensive and I loved the idea of them being a gift from such as Steve. I was left thinking momentarily about the mystery surrounding our date whilst I run a bath. Then I checked the package again and found an item I had overlooked. It was so strange. A rubber arm and hand that looked as if it had been pulled from a doll. I wondered about it and why it was there. 

After my bath I dried and put on the items. They looked good on me, just the right size too and I realised from that one time I fell into his hands on the subway, he judged my body so accurately. No man I ever knew until then ever did that so well. It was all too funny and almost ludicrous, I began to laugh to myself, looking at the dolls arm and hand and its significance. 

We met again as arranged. This time I dressed and made up more glamorous, I wanted to play some part of his game, which I still wasn't sure of. And he noticed; making a comment about how stunning I looked. My message was clear all along. I wasn't ready for anything deep and sexual and for now he can look but not touch. Atleast, not on our second date.

I felt satisfied yet perplexed that he accepted the way things were. After the meal he looked at me intently as I gazed back at him. "Did you like the gift?" he asked. I nodded and smiled my reply. "Good I am very pleased. I knew that it would suit you. Both items."

"Why the dolls arm?" I asked. 

I was aching to ask that question ever since I found it. He smiled at me and leaned forward. "That represents me. My kink if you like. Do whatever your imagination allows with it." I looked at him thinking all kinds of silly things. Such a strange thing to do and his explanation seemed even more bizarre. I laughed. I wanted to tell him my thoughts there and then but I would have offended him. I let it pass.

"So, tell me…" He stopped me by raising his hand.

"Just take a photograph for me." he asked. "Nothing crude. I want to see you wearing it, but I don't want to be there yet." His request was to me unusual. Then as the evening in the restaurant unfolded a little more and we continued to drink more wine, I began to understand him a little more. "Are you wearing it now?" he continued. I smiled and nodded, watching his expression." His eyes lit up and I detected his excitement. He reached into his pocket and produced a digicam. I looked at it. 

"You want me to take a picture of me wearing it?" 

"Yes please. That is all I ask of you, just for now. But when you get home. Then I want you to call me when you have taken it so that I can arrange for you to return the camera. You see I have a confession to make." He held out his hand and I took it. Our fingers entwined. 

"Which is?"

"I am a virgin. And I want to stay that way until I am sure the time is right. The
vision of you wearing it will satisfy my needs in their own way, you understand?" I was becoming more than just curious and his confession of being a virgin was totally unexpected. Then I realised something. If it was true, then I should respect this man for being so honest. And all he really wanted was to see me wearing his gift, without even being with me. But whom was he keeping himself for? Was I going to be a likely candidate amongst so many he had played this game with?

"Wait a minute!" I pulled my hand free of his. I wanted more questions answered before I even considered his requests. I looked at him. "Am I the only woman you have asked? I want you to be honest with me Steve, ok?"

"My dear, you are the only one. Trust me. I am trusting not only my instincts, but fate as well. I have spent a celibate life so far. There are so many things I want to do before it's too late. I now find being a virgin is no longer important to me. But I need the right woman."

"And you think that is me?"

"Well, yes I do. But…" He hesitated. "I want to see if you have that certain thing I am looking for."

"Thing?"

"I look at so many pictures of women. I masturbate, to satisfy my sexual desires. I am a man Karen and I can only take so much of this stress I am putting myself through. One day I am going to die and I want to complete my life by making love atleast once." I listened to him, putting it all together in my mind from his perspective. I tried to understand his motives.

"You mean you want someone special? Not just anybody?"

"Yes. She must be perfect in every way. And I need to see this my way. Your picture will give me some idea. But it must not be crude. Will you allow this Karen? I can only do it if you agree with everything I want."

I felt sick inside. I wasn't disgusted by his request, just that I found it all very weird with so many things attached that I had never thought I would have to consider. He was weird and yet I respected him. I thought hard and long. And eventually after a while I agreed to do the picture he wanted, knowing that I had control of what the outcome may be. I was still very curious about his reasons and motive. I wasn't even sure if I really believed what he told me.

*****

Chapter Two

--------------------------

A week had passed, and I had completed my task, done all of the pictures he asked for, and sent back the digicam by courier, special delivery. 

Things were getting busy at work in the city museum where was a records clerk, entering items that had come in from all over the world. There was to be a huge dinosaur exhibition in the coming weeks and that took my mind of Steve for a while. Somehow, I was able to turn off to everything that had happened. That was until he called me on my cell-phone.

"How did you find this number?" I asked. I was alone in the office. His voice was as smooth as ever; even on the phone it still had that hypnotic charm. And he never answered my question. Instead he thanked me profusely for the task.

"I love the one you did with the dolls arm. Clever the way you situated it between your beautiful breasts. And that hint of your nipple too. Very erotic. I selected it for my use and it worked. I am pleased to tell you Karen that you passed."

"Passed? Was it an exam?" I replied with a laugh. Steve did not appreciate the humour I had found in his comments and silence followed. I could feel that I had upset him. "You still there? Steve?"

"Karen, don't mock me. What I am doing is serious. Now it is time to move on. Are you alone?"

"Yes, I am alone."

"Good. Listen very to me very carefully. I want you to…" He hesitated and I waited. "I want you to make noises for me. The kind you make when making love. I need to hear you having an orgasm. Just your voice and nothing else."

"Oh wait! Steve? This is a little inconvenient right now. You do realise I'm at work and may I say, you seem to have forgotten to ask something."

"Please? Did I forget to say please?"

"No! You forgot to ask what I was wearing!" I pressed call end and threw the cell-phone down onto the desk in rage. I thought his request sounded way out of order and that changed my opinion of him there and then. He made the whole thing sound like I was someone on a sex chat line and that certainly was not my style. If he had been a lover then I may have obliged, but he wasn't.

The phone beeped again. I took my time thinking about it. He was persistent, calling a second time until I did answer. "What is it? What are you trying to do Steve?" I asked. He apologised and told me that what he did was unforgivable. I had to agree and the conversation turned more acceptable. He asked me to meet him after work, arranging for a cab to collect me and deliver me to a certain part of town. I agreed.

It was dark. The cab had dropped me at a back alley in the city centre, somewhere. I had an idea of where I was, but still I felt as if I'd been dumped and I felt vulnerable until I heard footsteps clanging against the cold steel of the fire escape. He was in the shadow and then he appeared in full light.

"Thankyou for coming." He said, holding out his hand. "Please join me. I have an office on the third floor. This is where we store our goods before distributing them to the various stores across town. It's where I work sometimes. We are alone."

He insisted that I climb the steps before him. I knew that he wanted to watch as I went ahead, taking note of my legs and rear. Atleast now he was taking a physical interest in me and that was acceptable for now. He was still a stranger and I was extra cautious of his ulterior motive. I was beginning to hate the secrecy and mystery surrounding our acquaintance.

His office was small and clustered with packages stacked in every available space. He pointed to his desk and the chairs. I sat opposite him and looked around. "It isn't my idea of a tidy office either. I know what you are thinking." 

Steve seemed to get inside my head every time he was near me. He glanced at me and smiled. "Down to business. Karen, I have chosen you as my…lover?" He began to explain. I listened intently. "I hope that is fine with you? I think we should make arrangements for us to make love quite soon. The time is right and you are perfect. It's going to be absolutely wonderful, don't you think?" 

"Steve. I need to say this. Seriously. You are making all of this charade so clinical. We hardly know each other and a courtship based upon… the way you are going about this? It's silly. It makes no sense to me. You are acting like some dirty old pervert trying to cover up and be nice. A wolf in sheep's clothing? Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Perfectly my dear. You think I'm a pervert? But in reality if only you knew it, I am not that kind of person. I have to tell you I suppose. I am forced to tell you everything I did not want you to know about me. But then it may spoil things even more."

"I'm listening." I was patient, willing to get to the bottom of things. End the mystery all together.

"You said you wanted to be serious. Ok, here it is. I am going to die quite soon and please don't make funny remarks like we all are. I am a condemned man and they are out to kill me. I have a life sentence on my shoulders. And it is true what I told you. I am a virgin."

"Who is going to kill you? This sounds even more crazy now."

"I told you it would spoil things. You don't understand and probably never will. It's up to you. I'm not forcing you to do this and never would. But I'm a dead man walking right now. Only my executioner isn't the law. It's something far more sinister."

"You are ill?"

"No. I wish I was somehow. That would atleast make this easier if it was. I have done something very wrong to someone very powerful. They find it hard to forgive me and so I have been given a week to live before they kill me."

He was on someone's hit list. There was no need for him to explain things further. I either accepted it or not. But he was so calm about it and that made me wonder. "You need help in more ways than you think." I told him.

"Karen, I'm not going to run away or go to the law for help. It's pointless. They will find me, eventually. You see it will buy me time I know. But I want this over and done with. Sounds crazy I know, but there are personal reasons for wanting it this way."

He was mad. I decided. I picked up my bag and stood looking at him. "Steve, you are a really nice guy. I think I need to say goodbye now. It was great playing this game with you. The gift and taking those pictures were fun. I'm so glad you enjoyed it all as much as I did." I turned and walked towards the door.

"They are going to get you too Karen. They know about what I'm trying to do… with you. But then, like I said, I would never force you." I stopped and tried to absorb what he had told me. It was stupid. Why was I involved in this? 

"Why me? I had nothing to do with anything you did to them? How can you get me involved?"

"It wasn't meant to be this way. They found the pictures and discovered my reasons. Now they want to blackmail as well as kill. They are not very nice people Karen. There is nothing I can do to stop this. My life is already finished. I made mistakes in letting them find out. I'm sorry."

"No wait! What blackmail? What are you talking about?"

"They want me to make love to you and then they will spare your life. It's as simple as that."

Suddenly the whole end game took a twist. Was this his idea of "not" forcing me? I could walk away and forget all this. Then again, I could walk away and…I could be murdered days, weeks or even months later if he was telling the truth. "How would they know if we made love or not?" I asked.

"I record the whole thing."

"Oh great!" It was far too obvious. "I think I know what is going on here. Forgive me for not being so naïve, ok? I think I'll go now and wish you and whoever your friends are a nice life. I wasn't born just yesterday Steve. Look, I'm really scared ok?"

I turned and left, rushing down the fire escape into the alley and then onto the main street to hail a cab. There was already a cab waiting just a few metres away and the door opened. My curiosity took the better of me and I walked towards it. It was the same cab driver that delivered me there just half a hour before. "Get in Miss. I know where you are going." The cabby told me. 

I did as he asked. Then I thought about everything that happened, very carefully…

*****

Chapter Three

---------------------

I noticed the cabby was ignoring me as we drove through the main streets. He wasn't taking home that was for sure. That was when things began to get really scary. My mind was on overdrive thinking all kinds of scenarios about Steve and what he told me. Things seemed to be far too fantastic to be real. And then now…

"Where are you taking me? Will you answer me?" I asked.

"Don't worry Miss, just cool it. This job is hard enough." He looked through his rear-view mirror at me and grinned. "Not the only thing that's hard either right now. What a fucking waste."

"Wow! Wait a minute." I began to panic. I didn't like his comment that was for sure. The mention of 'waste' just did not feel good in its context and with what was happening. "Stop this cab, now!"

"I can't. I have a job to do Miss. Besides, this ride is free for you, so sit back and enjoy."

My panic got worse. I started screaming for him to stop, thumping his shoulders and he pleaded with me to stop before we both got killed in a road accident. I realised it was pointless. The cab was now entering a freeway and going faster, away from the city itself. I wanted to wake up, but I wasn't sleeping. This was not a dream, or even a nightmare, it was really happening.

The journey went on into the night. Open freeway leading somewhere north of the city and wherever my fate lay ahead. I could only wait and sob, thinking of all kinds of things to happen to me. And the cabby began to sing a song to himself… "Walk Like A Panther Tonight"… the words were uncanny and his supposed singing voice was horrid. 

I curled up on the seat and sobbed myself to sleep. How I don't know, but I woke up in daylight and the cab was still moving. I peered over the cabby's shoulder and looked outside. Open country was all I could see around us as we travelled along the road. I needed to relieve myself badly.




Reflections



"Can you stop please?" I asked, almost pleading with him.

"No chance hun. Hold onto it for a while longer. We are close to our destination."

I held on and on. It was getting uncomfortable, but I held on. Then I saw a grey domed building coming up as the cab went over a hill and dipped into a wide valley. "What is that?" I asked. 

"Home hun. Isn't it beautiful? Wait until we get closer. It looks better in the clear air."

"Home? Whose home?"

"Our home. It's where I belong."

As we got close the domed building looked more like a stadium. Only this was in the middle of nowhere and yet somewhere. Its shape reminded me of tv shows about spaceships and then as we got closer still, it wasn't just fictitious spaceships, but the real thing. It was huge. It sat there right in the middle of a wide-open area of grassland. The cabby began to cheer, his excitement was almost missed as I looked at the size and structure of the thing.

"Its like…a ship?"

"You got it hun. That's exactly what it is. Home."

"Oh wait? This isn't happening."

"Believe it or not hun, it's happening."

I gulped. Then I felt myself let go of everything I held onto. This to me was so unreal that I completely lost myself. In reality, I discovered my primal side and basic instincts. And it did not matter to me whether I was alive or dead there and then. It was hopeless even trying to care or worry. Whatever was happening to me was going to happen. I felt like an animal going to the slaughter I suppose. That is all I can describe it as.

The cab stopped around the edge of the massive structure. Then as if from nowhere, a ramp began to materialise from the metallic wall and slowly settled infront of the cab. I sat and watched as we drove up the ramp and into an opening. The hatch sealed up behind us like liquid metal. We were inside a huge cavernous bay, lights beaming from all directions.

"Ok Miss. End of the ride." The cabby turned and looked at me. I couldn't move a muscle. I felt dead already and numb through and through. Then I passed out into another deep slumber.

My eyes opened and I looked around. It was like an emergency room at a hospital. I gathered my thoughts together and somehow felt relief instantly as I realised that I could have been asleep and dreamed everything that happened. Maybe I was in an accident and got knocked down? I felt no pain.

I lay there, tweaked my fingers and then my toes. Then I realised I was naked beneath the light blue covering. I sat up, resting on my elbows and things became more vivid to me. It was an emergency room. But nobody was with me. I tried to swing my legs from the table, but they were clasped by two soft metallic strips across my shins, below the knees.

"Hello? Anyone?" The cliché request for attention. But nobody answered. The covering slipped from my breasts and it was then I noticed the clamps on my nipples. They were attached to wires that ran to my right and to a machine in the room. I pulled away the cover further and noticed that I had a similar wire running from my holiest of holies. I couldn't feel anything, but there was something inside of me, deep inside my vagina. 

I started to panic. But then, this time I gained some courage to stop and think. There must be an explanation for all of this? Was I part of some kinky joke or was this what it looked like to me the more I thought about it? I was a sample. I was abducted by whomever. Then I thought of Steve and the cabby. What did they have in connection with where I was?

The wall opened, liquid metal again. A door. This man stood looking at me and I stared back. He was grey and mid age looking. He wore a white tunic and smiled. "Welcome Karen." He said. I did not answer. "Try to keep very still. No harm will come of you. Not yet atleast." 

"Where am I?" I asked, my voice croaked. It was as if I had not uttered a word in ages. The man stood beside me and checked the wires. I flinched, not wanting him to touch me. He noticed and stepped back with his hands out. Then I noticed his hands. Three fingers and an oversized thumb. No nails, just articulate stubs of flesh and bone. He was not human and everything fell into place there and then.

It was obvious that I was one of a few who claimed to be abducted by aliens. It was happening to me. 

"What about Steve?" The missing connection that would complete everything. The man stopped smiling and his hands fell to his sides. He knew what I was asking, I could tell. 

"We will update you as time goes on. The person you knew as Steve failed to oblige his obligations. I think I can say, he was eliminated?"

"What? You mean you killed him, right? You, whoever you are? Whatever you claim to be?"

"He was a very unstable sample. But we saved you from the same fate, that is, for the moment." A smile lit up his human face. Although I knew now that this man before me was not entirely human. I couldn't help thinking that he had a sweet smile. But what he was telling me removed any admiration for either his or "its" looks or personality. 

"How long have I been here?" 

"In your time?" He looked up, thinking, just like a human would. "I would estimate around, seven of your…"

"Seven days! Oh my God. I have been asleep seven days?" I mistakenly assumed, stopping him from telling me. Then I saw his head droop slightly to one side, looking at me with curiosity. "What? Tell me?"

"I was going to tell you…seven years."

My eyes fixed as I repeated his words in my head. Seven years. Years as in, Christmas to Christmas seven times over. Years as in, I was now seven years older. That was to me impossible. That was to me even more unbelievable. Seven years. How?

"You have not aged. We kept you in…stasis? A word you are familiar with?"

My first thoughts now where, I wanted to go home. I started to feel my eyes filling up with tears as I remembered my family, distant then and now distanced even further by time and God knows what else. What had I got myself into? I took a deep breath and looked away from this creature. The more I thought about it, and the situation I was in, the less human it was to me.

He looked at me, piercing me with that curious look. "You cry like the others." He said. I looked back at him. Others? What others? "You are a good sample. You show emotions I like." He continued. His stubby fingers touched my skin, lifting my breast as if feeling its weight. I just watched and felt. In a way his touch was gentle.

"Why am I her? What do you intend to do with me?"

"Mate. I will mate with you soon. But, only if things are good."

"Ok. And if things are not good?" 

"I will have to…"

"Kill me? Is that it? Is that my fate? I'm not a virgin. Not like Steve claimed to be. Or, whatever you creatures wanted him to be. I get the picture here. I know the score. Atleast I think I do." His fingers began to close around my skin, pressing, feeling my breast even harder. "I truly don't want to be here. You understand?" He seemed to be turned on sexually with what he was doing. That look on his face said it all. 

I grabbed his wrist quickly. "Stop it. Don't do this to me." 

*****

Chapter Four

--------------------

It seemed that things were 'good'. I managed to survive my captivity aboard God knows what and where. The man, creature, thing, respected my wishes and freed me from that machine I was connected to so impersonally. I learned his name, Dalkis. He turned out to be a breed of human and whatever these alien creatures were. And they had been doing this thing of theirs for thousands of years.

Dalkis was my so-called partnered breeder. He was in charge of everything I was allowed to do. And we lived in an apartment that seemed to be next door to the reception room I woke up in. Everything was simulated in earth-like styles, right down to the moving artificial view of a big cityscape from the windows, as if we were in an apartment twenty-five storeys high. I was never allowed to leave, but Dalkis was. And there was a machine that supplied all of our food and drinks.

He obeyed every single wish of mine apart from my freedom. I was a prisoner. I was adapting to this new life seven years on, out of my own time and space. Very slowly I was getting used to it all. I even started to feel better about the whole situation. I was alive and that was all that mattered to me.

*****

I questioned Dalkis about how he got where he was. He seemed happy to explain it and enthusiastically. He was born in his so-called colony, shared by ten other half-bred children on some other world. They lived as orphans having been separated from parents at birth and were looked after by humanoid androids that simulated wet nurses, mothers and teachers. The colony life style continued to develop as they grew. Constant changes took place to accommodate their needs and interests. It was all they knew about and they didn't even consider themselves to be brothers or sisters. They identified themselves as simply the colony.

It ended when they had reached the age of twenty. Suddenly they found themselves being experimented on and tested for certain traits and conditions. After a while they were told who and what they were and their purpose in life. To Dalkis it was like a revelation, suddenly discovering a whole new style of life to what they had known in the colony. A bit like meeting Jesus I suppose to an avid born again Christian. Only they were introduced to their "masters."

"Who are they? What do they look like?" I had to ask.

"They are not like us, you or I. They live on this world far across the universe itself. They are the masters and they control everything including your original world. They can do anything they desire. They have bodies like you and I with both sexes and even tails as a kind of limb. But their heads…their heads…" He started to go into deep thoughts until he went silent on me.

"Yes? Dalkis, tell me."

"No. Not yet. You will see one day." His voice turned authorative. And so I was left guessing about what I was about to see someday, perhaps. The rest helped and gave some idea that they were almost human with developed tails of somekind. I realised that I was living a fantastic dream and began to have moments of doubt still. The doubt was obvious; was I really alive?

*****

I discovered that Dalkis had feelings like all humans. He was more human than alien and only his hands, feet and a few internal organs resembled the so-called masters. He was considered a prime candidate for further breeding and his ambition in life was to make love and please his masters by making his partner pregnant, but only when things were right. This to me gave me time before my judgement day as there was no specified limit. If I wanted, I could be attached to this half human creature for the rest of my life. But that gave me a certain freedom for extending my life too. If we mated, then I had to yield a child that satisfied the masters' specifications or we both died. We were simply lab-rats in all of this.

Dalkis's feelings were hard to live with. He was passionate about making love one day. He even held me, fondled me and kissed me like any other human guy would, telling me he loved me. But I didn't feel the same as him and there was no way I was going to submit. He obeyed my wishes, which I was only too thankful of.

"Dalkis? Don't you ever think about escaping?"

"Escaping? What is that?"

"Getting away from all of this. Running away, doing everything you dream about in your own way."

"I am told to do this and that is it. I will make love to you and then learn what happens next." He smiled as if he was proud to be who he was in this great alien game. The colony certainly prepared him all right. "When can we mate?" His question always followed everything I asked about his purpose and place. 

"Not yet, Dalkis. I am not feeling up to it." I would reply every time. This seemed to work well and again I was so thankful that my partner understood my feelings, but did he understand my reasons? It was only a matter of time. 

"I picked you." He said. I looked at him smiling at me. 

"What do you mean, you picked me? Explain?"

"Before you arrived on the ship, they asked if I was ready to mate. I told them that I was and was looking forwards to it. Then they showed me a picture of you in a very erotic pose wearing something with a small hand touching your breast. They said that I could have you as a partner if I desired."

I listened carefully. The pictures I did for Steve. Dalkis mentioned one of them so clearly. "And you agreed to have me as your partner from that picture?"

*****

"Yes I did. I fell in love with you. They agreed and told me to wait. Then when you were delivered to me and while you slept in stasis I tested your dreams and everything was as it should be. You are a good sample and our child will be what they want, I am sure."

Another piece had been added to the mystery of why I was there. My mind began to review things all over and over again for the umpteenth time. 

"How long was it before I was brought to this ship? When you saw my picture?"

*****

"In your time…only a few days before you arrived."

"What did you know about me? Apart from the picture?"

"Nothing."

I sat still and realised that Steve was probably just human bait, set up to capture me. The cab driver was always there on every occasion. It was me and only me that was the prey in all of this. And Steve, whoever he was, is out baiting others back on earth. An instrument set up to cajole people like me into a false and silly sense of curiosity and security. 

"What is the matter?" Dalkis asked.

"Nothing, it's ok." 

Life continued in my prison for what seemed weeks being affectionate to Dalkis. He asked me to do something very human on occasions, which I obliged out of curiosity again. He asked very politely for me to make him happy by pleasuring him. I had done this before in my not too distant past whilst at high school for a boy I liked. And it was then that I discovered that Dalkis was not only human in many ways but his sexual organs seemed to work perfectly…more than I expected infact. But one thing I could never do was oral sex on him.

"I would like very much to pleasure you Karen." He said. I smiled back and thought up an excuse for rejecting his request. I was not ready and thought that I never would be. He was so sweet despite his age and actually he was growing more and more handsome to me each day. But I was definitely not ready for that no matter how irresistibly gorgeous he may have looked.

His body was fit for a mid-aged guy. He definitely had the ability to make love and pleasure a woman. That atleast I was glad about. Atleast he wasn't ugly and his manners and attitude seemed very good. In other words, he was a respectable guy who respected me. But I was beginning to get horny within myself, thinking of real human guys I wanted to have sex with so badly. In my little bit of privacy, whenever it was possible, I pleasured myself frequently.

This captivity game was geared upon us having sexual intercourse. Someone must notice soon that it wasn't happening.

*****

Chapter Five

------------------

I lay beside Dalkis watching him sleep. The simulated views through the windows gave me the senses of night and day. I watched the same beautiful sunset night after night, but deep inside I was conscious of where I was. This game tried to saturate me with psychological tricks and Dalkis played his part the way he was brainwashed, educated and raised to do so. Me, I was still human and I counted by the days that I was in captivity, thinking all kinds of things that might happen and reflecting on my past.

The reason I was here was because of Steve. I was vulnerable to those kinds of things and always had been since I was a teenager. A sucker for sweet talking guys who came and went and on occasion I played along with each one of them. I was still not in love with anyone, nor had I found that feeling of being besotted with someone else, apart from my mother, when she was alive. Maternal feelings are only partially similar I suppose to falling head-over-heels with some guy.

So, I knew very little about love. I had yet to find it. Sex was fun, but nothing magical came of all five experiences so far. Loosing my virginity was no big deal. Although I do wish I'd have been more selective. The guy who took it turned out to be a clumsy bank robber who found himself arrested at the counter one day with nowhere to run.

I looked down at Dalkis, watching him breathe in slumber with my knees bunched up. Slowly I realised I was getting closer to him. In a way, things would have been less bearable without him. And I also realised my weakness too. The same weakness that led me here. The same weakness that made me fall for Bobby Yearsley and his sweet talking bravado, that eventually led him to entering me and changing my status from maid to fully fledged womanhood.

Was I so easy? Maybe I was. I'm not that drop dead gorgeous, but cute I will admit. Many have told me I'm kind of cute, but never beautiful with such real meaning that it made me feel proud to be who I was. I accepted who I was on that basis, along with what I learned about life. Bobby Yearsley and all the rest where just people that left some small impression on my personality. 

I became selfish. Thought about my future and potentials. Then started concentrating on my job and earning as much money as I could. There was lots of freedom to do whatever I wanted in my job as a research assistant for a city magazine. My time was devoted to what the job required and I had fun doing it. There was the time I got naughty with the chief editor, which in itself was fun. That was the only time I felt powerful with my sexuality, apart from the power I have now over poor Dalkis.

Graham Lee had this thing about me. Every time I was around he would look at me. I knew exactly what he craved for in his imagination and I decided to play along with it. Again, age was not a problem, following my rule at the time that all older guys had experience and sex had to be the best from them. However, I found that rule was not exactly correct. 

I played up to him, realising he was shy. I embarrassed him on occasion and so began to play and tease in more private places, such as is office. The blinds down, door locked, unseen by the editorial staff, I went in for the kill. He loved it so much it only lasted ten minutes. The fastest I had ever been fucked in my life. 

I was prepared. I turned his chair around, lifted my skirt slowly showing him what he wanted to see. I often shaved my pubes into a neat Brazilian style trim and this man loved it. He pulled me onto his lap and I could feel his hardness against my naked sex. Holding him back was a slight struggle as he pulled my top, trying awkwardly to expose my breasts. I made him calm, eventually doing it for him. And he was gentle. His lips and tongue felt like heaven as he sucked and nibbled. I thought I was in for a treat until I discovered that all this smooth action was inherent from breastfeeding as a child and all guys can slip back to feelings of those times when they felt emotional enough. He began to bite, really hard has his libido increased, and his desire to get down to business started to rise again. 

The only thing was to yield to his desire. I released him from his pants and straddled him. I felt his hardness slip in and watched him catch his breath. Then I felt it. The warm gush of his untimely delivery. My first thoughts there and then were, how inconsiderate could he have been and was this his first time in god knows whenever?

I discovered he was himself a virgin. I was his first ever sexual contact and from that day on I was very cautious of older guys. And so, Steve was one such challenge I was being very cautious about after he admitted his virginity to me. I thought I'd play along with him and his requests. But then I saw Steve differently than Graham. Somehow, I felt respect because he was keeping it for someone special…me.




Reflections



Graham and I kept things secret between us. I told him I didn't love him and I didn't want him. He accepted, although continued to touchy feely whenever we were alone and I collected a special bonus each month in my pay cheque, just for being there. I felt like a slut, but who cares? Nobody knew but us, and it put fashionable clothes on my back while it lasted. 

*****

Dalkis stirred, his weird hand reached out and touched my arm. Once I would try to move away, but now I knew it was affectionate and in a way I liked it. It comforted me. Made me feel wanted. 

My eyes grew heavy with ensuing sleep and I snuggled up to my creature companion, just like you would a favourite pet you were getting accustomed to, only this pet was intelligent with real humane emotions. I learned to adapt and he respected. That was the way I wanted it to stay.

"Shower with me Karen?" Dalkis asked. I was thinking of jumping in first as usual, after my usual ablutions of peeing, brushing my teeth and whatever I needed to do. Sharing a shower was one step closer to making love, I thought. "Please do this for both of us."

I looked at him, cuddled up to him and tried to use my charm. "Dalkis, I don't like sharing my shower. I hope you don't mind."

"But I do. This whole thing is not happening the way it is supposed to. The Masters are not pleased."

I looked up to him and felt sick inside. The masters have spoken. "Oh Dalkis, I need more time."

*****

"You have had plenty of time. Your connections to me should be ready now. It is time. You are ovulating and the results will be maximised. And if I may say…I need you so badly. I am dreaming about us at night."

"You are? Dreaming?"

"Yes. I wake up wanting you. I can detect your scent very strong too. You dream too."

"Really?" I pulled away from him very slowly. "Very observant Dalkis. I am very impressed." I was lost for an explanation as to why I did not want to go there and a reply to his comments. I forced a smile and pointed a finger at his chest. "I really need to go first. A few things I need to do by myself."

"Then if that is so, then let it be."

I scurried quickly into the bathroom and did what I had to do. I was glad he accepted, but now it was only going to be a matter of time before I had to yield to him. And thinking about it more I don't think I had much choice but to do it. My life was suddenly closer to an end if all failed. I would get pregnant for god knows how long…nine months? Longer? Maybe less? And then, afterwards? What would happen to my child? To me? To all of us?

*****

Oh my, it was so amazing! I lay down on our bed face down with my butt in the air as Dalkis entered me. His rhythm was smooth, intense and he knew exactly how to use his fingers as well as his cock. I had yielded eventually and I submitted through both frustration and fear. But then as we began to make love I felt easy, calm and totally submissive. Was it something I drank in my simulated coffee? At the time I didn't care because he was making me feel good. He felt so good. I was climaxing and riding every beautiful moment of it, lost in my own time and universe. He was slow at cumming and it seemed to go on forever and ever. That was until he eventually did cum. The usual mutual screams and moans followed swiftly by the collapse of him beside me on the bed. I remained; clutching my pillow as he stroked my back with is fingers. 

"Thankyou Karen. That was so wonderful. Did you enjoy it?"

"Oh yes. You certainly know a few tricks. Do you guys learn from the Kama Sutra or some other galactic sex manual?" Silence followed as I could almost feel his mind thinking. I lay hugging the pillow and wanted to sleep. I felt content and tired after such an intense orgasm. And oh wow, it was the best mind busting experience I had ever had so far.

"What is this Kama Sutra?" He asked. I realised my mistake. It meant I had to explain things and I was not ready for that. I breathed out, spluttering into my pillow. "You must explain to me because I don't understand. Is it something that you people on your world use to mate?"

"You might say that, yes."

"You are tired. This is a good sign that you have been receptive. Pregnancy may be inevitable. Thankyou so much Karen. I enjoyed that very much." He lay, snuggling up to my back and holding my breast tenderly in his hand. The mission complete? Or maybe just one of many occasions to follow until it eventually happened? Whatever. I was here with Dalkis and life's fate was dealing the cards in this game we were in. I submitted and afterall, it wasn't that bad so far. 

I woke first and watched that simulated sunset yet again. I could not believe that hours before an alien had fucked me. How many people on dear old earth can boast such a thing? Although I felt so strange, it was also kind of awe-inspiring re-living those moments. We actually did it. I was like a child on Christmas morning opening surprise presents, filled with excitement at what I had un-wrapped. I felt really good and satiated, nothing like it ever happened to me before.

Dalkis woke as I jumped on him. I pinned his shoulders down with my hands and straddled his flaccid cock, resting it against my hairy pubic mound. "We did it!" I shouted. He looked at me, a surprised look turning into a smile.

"Yes we did. And I love you Karen."

I looked at him again, the glee leaving me as fast as it took over. Those words he used were not exactly what I expected him to say with such feeling. I did not feel love. I felt a sense of achievement in actually doing it and enjoying what it brought to all of my senses. It was the best sex I had ever had from anyone so far. It was the sex I dreamed of in my wettest of wet dreams and disgusting fantasies. But I didn't love him. He was simply just Dalkis, my guardian in all of this. It could have been anyone really. I derived a fulfilling pleasure simply from sex and that is all I wanted to tell him. 

*****

Chapter Six

-------------------

Dalkis handed me the data block. Resembling a palm top, he told me that it would help me keep track of what I perceived as "my time." However, time meant something else to him and his masters. He explained how they could manipulate it and use it. I was not a techy, but soon I began to understand what he was saying…

"I have made notes on it for you in your time concept whilst you were settling down." He said. He explained how the machine worked and I was familiar with it instantly, having used a computer. "I knew that you would not be interested in using it as soon as you came out of stasis." How wrong he was. For the past one hundred and twenty one days I had counted the simulated sunsets, and tried to memorise certain things that had happened on whatever day, without much success. I appreciated his efforts, and wished he had given me the data block sooner.

"You said, manipulate time? How?" I was curious to know what he meant. Time travel?

"Remember, I told you about your stasis?" I nodded, showing my deep interest. "Seven years it took to study your body perfectly. The machines had you and did their tests in that time. But the day we both met, I had only waited a few days since you were captured. The Masters had compressed time so much that seven years of your life had gone in just those few days of waiting." It took a while for me to absorb what he was saying, but I visualised it all in my imagination.

"So time speeded up for me while I was asleep? And I aged seven years?"

"Your body lived seven years, yes. Those tests required the next seven years into the future for this mission to work. Once the tests were completed, time was reversed instantly and you was returned to my time again."

"Does that mean I have aged seven years?" I quickly looked through the mirror on my dresser and checked my facial features. I didn't look older. My skin looked just as it had always been. Dalkis began to laugh at me. "What? This isn't funny. Yet, I don't see any signs of aging." He grabbed my shoulders and made me face him again.

"You have not aged those seven years, atleast not yet. The Masters machines had returned you to re-live those years again. Does that make sense to you Karen?" At first it didn't. After a few seconds I grasped what he had explained and realised how amazing that was. One could live a life and then be returned to a certain age in the past, to re-live it again, differently, and as many times over as it was possible.

Dalkis smiled as he saw my reaction. "Wait, that is…" His hand brushed my cheek gently, and I looked back at him. "I am living those seven years again?"

"Indeed. And your body is doing the same things as it did in those other seven years already lived in. That is how we know everything about you. Just a few minor changes that have not affected the mission so far."

"Do you know what this means? People can live forever. They can live many lives over and over…" Suddenly, I realised once more where I was. These captors were alien and nothing like this would ever be known to my kind back on earth. Well, atleast not in my present time…or maybe ever at all.

"I think it is time to tell you something about the Masters." Dalkis's expression turned serious. "You already associate with them back on earth. Unfortunately, you don't know them as well as you think. You have gods and heavenly beings that most of your cultures worship. These are the Masters. They have always been around, even on your homeworld…

"The Masters have always experimented on and tested your humankind. You are one of their creations as much as I am. Only I am a special creation. I am adapted to try to improve your species. They aim to improve humankind further and further. Genetic science is not exactly as your scientists think it is. The Masters unbeknown to your kind make evolutionary changes possible, and have done for millions of your years. Complicated so it is Karen, they have had many failures as much as there were great successes."

I listened intently to what he was saying. I had to believe it, because I had nothing else to believe in anymore. I could be dead soon. This life I now have, expired completely and that of my future child if things went wrong. Somehow, I felt proud to be where I was. I was part of some great mission and for the first time in my life, I felt important.

"There had to be a time in all of this you needed to learn the truth. That moment was now." Dalkis held my hand tightly. "I love you Karen and it was I who chose you as the sample. Please tell me how you feel about me. The truth as you see and feel it right now?"

He was forcing me to do this. But his sincerity won me over, as usual. I gave myself a few minutes to think so that I didn't make a mess of things. He deserved to know.

"Dalkis, I do not feel the same as you do. Love is something I have to experience yet. And this to me is not it. I am not even certain what I'm supposed to feel. But, I know deep inside that this isn't it…

"Sex with you is amazing. I have learned to enjoy it for pleasure rather than devotion. I have accepted there is nothing else I can do. I am a prisoner. I am alive and I have yearnings and cravings that need to be satisfied. I am happy to share it with you, despite my fears at the beginning."

"Then you are just a friend?" 

"If you like, yes. And you are someone I can trust. But then, there is nobody else to turn to, but you and myself. I have learned to understand what this is all about and so realised my own fate in all of this. I could have fought back and refused by starving myself, and then I knew if I did that you and the masters would have forced me to stay alive somehow. Resistance is futile, and less interesting I suppose." I smiled at him, showing my own sincerity.

"I accept what you say Karen. I am conditioned for these events. My next sample may be different."

He stood and walked away has his words played in my mind. "Wow! Hold on a moment…" He stopped and turned to me. "Next sample? You said, next sample? What do you mean?"

"Simple. I must have lived this mission many times over, and more to come. There are others. You will not be the only one. The experiment will be repeated many times until a birth is successful from my mating. I will father a new generation of humankind, as my brothers will. And my sisters likewise from the sperm taken from many males on earth and other human worlds."

Things began to turn less acceptable suddenly. I felt proud before. But now I thought about what he had told me. I was a sample and nothing else. If "I" failed then others would be available? My self-importance was shattered in an instance and it hurt.

"Do you remember others?" I asked.

"No. The Masters have not given me the privilege. Each time the memory of the missions have been removed from my mind. Only the Masters can experience multiple lives. I like you will never ever remember a thing about us. I dream that I was or will be successful in love. I am a romantic. Those thoughts are my own genetic capabilities. Something I will pass on if the Masters approve of the outcome. And for now, because I have fallen in love with you in this time, I hope your future child with me is one of those chosen for earth."

"What will happen to me Dalkis if I become pregnant?"

"I will tell you when the time comes. No doubt you will find out soon enough."

"Will you stay with me?"

"No. My task would have been completed."

"Then why are you so concerned?"

"I wanted so much while making love to you, to have you feel the same way as I do. But, that doesn't matter. I am happy to know that you are my friend." I had known Dalkis long enough now. I could see that he meant it. But he wasn't the Dalkis I knew anymore. I felt deceived by his friendship. I had learned during those one hundred and twenty one days to trust him as a human being, although he was something else besides. 

"I wish you would have told me these things sooner." 

"I also wish that I could have told you Karen."

*****

The days that followed I made use of the data block, writing down every thought I had in my head. And Dalkis's affections continued as normal. He didn't seem to realise how much I was upset. My affection for him was slowly waning. Once again he became my keeper and nothing else. But despite that he also seemed to realise and accept that sex was something I did not want anymore. He would sit beside me, close and watch me write. Then, one sunset I finally asked…

"What does it feel like being you?" He understood my question clearly.

"I remember the times before each mission and then whatever mission I live, such as this one. Others I am unaware of. I know I was asked to choose a mate and I chose you. I saw you and knew right away that you were the one. As time passed I learned to adore you. Love you. And I know that it will end soon. Before my heart is broken, they will send me back. That is it. To me I have already lost something I love and so make the most of my time with you."

"Don't you ever wonder what will happen to me or your child?"

"Yes. The Masters tell me to continue. Because there is nothing I can do. I live for now, this time only. I am trained to be this way. I can control my emotions it seems. I have no desire to live with you forever, knowing that it must end." I looked at him, feeling his gentle stubs against the skin on my back. I couldn't help think how much he was like a machine himself. A robot. Then I thought about my history lessons at high school. People living in dictatorships and the way they used to be controlled by their masters. The fiction by Orwell, 1984, sprung to mind. I read it once when I was a young teenager and it had impact on me. I remembered how I felt.

I looked at his smile; I could see his oppression seeping through. Dalkis was suffering inside, trying to be what the masters wanted him to be. His answers to me were standard, learned and practiced. I looked at him closely, holding his head in my hands. "Dalkis! Don't you ever want to escape this life?" I asked…

His eyelids flickered and his expression changed. He began to think. Then he hesitated to speak. "I…I …am not sure…" He seemed to be fighting back something, as if there was something pushing through in his deepest of thoughts.

"Tell me! Tell me! For Godsakes Dalkis, tell me what you really think!" I kissed his lips and then looked at him again. "You don't want this life do you? You said you loved me. And if that is true, then all that matters is you and I. Not the masters." He took deep breaths and looked around our prison domain, our homely synthetic cage.

"They can hear you. Please stop. You will ruin this mission."

"No Dalkis! I have nothing else to live for! Don't you understand that?"

He started to panic. He began to scamper away from me. I grabbed his leg and leapt onto him, holding him to the floor. "Don't do this. This is not the way it is supposed to be! Stop!" His eyes suddenly stared beyond me. I could sense he was having some kind of seizure, his body began to dance and I could feel every muscle tighten. I held his face again in my hands until he began spitting foam from his mouth. Then his eyes closed. Limp, lifeless. I eased myself from him and looked down. I called his name out, but there was no response. Not even a sign of breathing.

The wall opened up as I looked around and two figures grabbed me. A hand of somekind covered my eyes as I screamed out and struggled to break free. Then I felt a sharp pain momentarily in the base of my spine, followed by a calming unconsciousness. 

I was in a dreamless sleep. Just like I was when I first arrived.

*****

Chapter Seven

--------------------

Opening my eyes, I instantly remembered what happened to me. There was a strip of green light scanning my naked body repeatedly. I looked around and could see only darkness. My arms and legs were held in place and I could feel the tightness holding me down. I tried to speak out but nothing happened. All I could do was think, watch and wait in fear. Then the whole place burst into bright blinding light. I took a gasp of air. When the light suddenly diminished I felt the ground beneath me, and saw the trees that surrounded me. The sky above was blue, cloudless and a chill made me shiver.

Sitting up, I was still naked. But now I was no longer in a prison, aboard a spaceship. This was a clearing in the middle of nowhere. Was I home? Was this earth? I held my arms around me, trying to cover my nakedness. I managed to stand on my feet, looking around me even more. I had the feeling I had been dumped. There were brown autumn leaves on the ground, a chill in the air and the sound of birds in the trees. Beyond that, peace, quiet and a feeling of solitude. I was convinced this was home and I felt instant relief about being there. No longer captive, no longer a sample for the masters of the universe or whatever they wanted to call themselves.

I gathered my thoughts and began to walk in any direction. The woods were dense and the twigs and thickets hurt as I treaded along. I had to just keep moving and hoping that I would find somewhere to get help. I seemed to have walked and walked for ages. I sat on a collapsed tree trunk and rested a while, checking those scratches and prickles on my legs and feet. I didn't care about my wounds. It was hypothermia that was becoming the biggest threat. I was atleast free and just desperate to find somewhere safe and warm. The dusk was advancing and that desperation increased. Being out in the woods alone and naked was not my idea of fun.

Looking around I decided to pick my next direction and moved on. The same vista, everywhere I looked. I screamed out in frustration and took a deep breath. I felt very thirsty now. I had mixed feelings about all this. I asked myself, why here? Then I thought back about all those other abductees who claimed to have been dumped in similar circumstances. Afterall, I was one of them now, wasn't I?




Reflections



Note: Inspired by a true story.

I spent my first two college years living at home, attending a community school. My sister Mira was a high school senior at that time and had just turned 18. She was about 5'2", 105 lbs with long dark hair. And oh yeah she had some nice assets. I wouldn't refer to my own sister in a sexual way but the way the circumstances turned out, I don't feel like holding any detail back. She had some nice protruding tits, which were definitely B cup, and could have qualified as Cs. She didn't seem to have a large butt. She mostly wore lose jeans or pajamas at home so it wasn't that noticeable.

Mira had just graduated high school and was awaiting admission to the same community college I had attended. She mostly stayed home with our mother while I hung out and came back late evenings. We were, and still are pretty cool with each other. Nothing special - just a normal brother and sister relationship. I had always respected her privacy and was never concerned about mine. I was barely ever home and only showed up at the door to sleep. 

This was my last summer living at home. I was transferring to a university in the mid-west. I was fed up with living at home; and the school out west was much better than the Boston-area community college I was attending.

Now on to the real story. 

The way Mira's bedroom was constructed, it was located "inside" my bedroom. So if you wanted to enter hers, you had to go through my bedroom first. This wasn't exactly a ranch house we are talking about... ours was an old cramped Victorian. My parents bought the only house they could have afforded at the time and we sacrificed some architectural conveniences to get a better price. The adjacent placement of our bedrooms never gave rise to any issues of privacy though. Mira had a bathroom which was attached to her bedroom, and I simply used the larger bathroom out near the kitchen which the rest of the family used. So Mira had it good. She had her own room with a personal bathroom.

Like I said, I had always respected her privacy growing up. Even though I was a horny teenager, whenever I masturbated in my room I made sure she was never home. Otherwise I did it in the shower. Now that I was always out with friends, she practically had the whole house to herself. We had both grown up living in this house since we were about 8, so we had adjusted to it well over time.

***************

Even though Mira had an attached bathroom, her bedroom was smaller than mine. It was kind of dingy looking and had one little window, though she always kept it sparkling clean. My bedroom was bright and sunny and it had two fairly large windows. One of the windows faced south and was the smaller of the two. I had my bed right under this window and I slept wit my feet towards it. We are going to call this window Window A. Why are we naming windows in this story? You will see. So... the other window, which we are going to refer to as Window B, was situated at a 90 degree angle to Window A, hence it faced East. Window B made the same angle to Mira's bedroom door as it made with Window A - 90 degrees. Window B was also just about 2 feet from her door and was located straight ahead from my bedroom door. 

I am kicking myself now for not noticing earlier what I am about to describe here: the 90 degree angle which Window B made to Mira's door meant more than I had ever imagined. The reason why I hadn't noticed this phenomenon earlier is because I was never home and by the time I got home, she had already closed her bedroom door.

Window B being at a right angle from her door meant that IF the following two conditions were met:

1. There was no sunlight – either it was a cloudy day or it was night AND 2. The light was just "right" in my room – not too dark and not too bright.

THEN

...If Mira's bedroom door was just as much as 1/4 open, you could see everything inside her bedroom in a perfect reflection in Window B! (as long as there were no blinds or curtains drawn on the window of course).

The darkness outside turned the window glass into a sort of a mirror. You know how you walk by storefronts sometimes and peek inside, but you can only see your own reflection in the glass- kind of like that. The image was not very clear like a mirror would produce but it was clear enough to show some details. You couldn't really see all colors but you could notice the difference between light and dark.

OK maybe I shouldn't be surprised or angry at myself for not figuring this out earlier. It wasn't easy. As horny a teenager as I was, I hadn't had any fantasies about my sister until then. I also kept my blinds closed over Window B so no image was forming on those blinds even when I was in the room and the above-mentioned conditions were being met. And heck, even if every condition was being perfectly met and I did see something in the window, I simply never paid attention.

But things turned abruptly this summer.

****************

In mid-June, I broke up with my girlfriend and started to spend more time at home. Mira worked part-time in a local clothing store. By the time she got home, it was almost dark. These days I was always on my bed, either reading a book or surfing the web on my laptop. 

One evening when Mira got home, I was reading a book on my bed. She put her handbag on the table in my room like she usually did and went inside her bedroom. I barely noticed. She always went inside her room, took a shower, changed and then came out to say hi to me. Then she would get busy with home chores and whatever else she had to do.

On this particular day while she was inside her room, I had to get up to go to the bathroom. I went outside to the larger bathroom and took care of my business. But when I got back to my bedroom, I saw a vision I had never seen before. 

I was staring straight at Window B when I walked into my bedroom, and what I saw in it couldn't have shocked me more. Mira's reflection was clearly visible in Window B. From inside her room! I immediately froze and watched her put on her bra. She was completely oblivious to the fact that her brother was watching her every single move. I was paralyzed. Completely frozen. My brain wasn't entertaining any thoughts of respecting my sister's privacy at this moment. Anyone who appreciates beauty could have derived pleasure out of this vision. I saw her perfectly shaped tits being covered up in a white lacy bra by her delicate fingers, her eyes intently looking down adjusting the placement of the bra.

And then she turned around. I saw her walk to her sock drawer. She pulled out a small clothing article, most likely her panties. She kept facing the sock drawer, unhooked her pants and dropped them. Then she quickly removed the panties she had on, and within the same fleeting motion, changed into the clean ones. It is amazing how quickly girls change panties. Ugh! I wanted to see more. Couldn't it have lasted for another split second?

My cock was rock hard now. I had just witnessed what had been the most beautiful body on a girl that I had ever seen.

****************

I obviously liked, correction : LOVED - what I saw and I wanted more. That night I masturbated thinking about Mira at least three times in my bed. This was in severe violation of my cardinal rule of not jerking off anywhere else but in the shower. You learn these things when you live in a small house with a scarcity of privacy. But this night I jerked off with reckless abandon. I thought about every single detail. The tits, the nipples, the panties, the ass crack!

Watching her became a routine. I was a Mira junkie now. She could have moved her finger and I would have done anything for her. Every day I watched her change. I took other occasional peeks at Window B to see what she was doing. Mostly I found her doing mundane stuff. Fixing her bed, or arranging her clothes, or just sitting around or sleeping. 

****************

My voyeurism of Mira went on for about two straight weeks. But just as all good things come to an end, this had to come to an end as well. 

What my foolish brain hadn't realized was that Window B was capable of more than just enabling me to watch Mira. I was so mesmerized by her body throughout this two week span that I had ignored the most obvious of conditions. If it was possible for me see inside Mira's room through Window B, she could just as easily look at the window and catch me staring at her!

****************

About two weeks into this exercise, I began to notice a change in Mira's routine. Now she would go inside her bathroom to change her clothes. Gone was her careless demeanor around her room. Gone were her occasional nudges to her crotch to adjust her panties. She was always very composed in her room now. Very mindful of her actions.

I was angry at myself. Obviously she had found out that I was watching her. But I wasn't sure. There was no behavioral change in her. Mira remained and interacted with me the same way she always did. There was no way she would have told my parents about this. I had to find out what had caused her to change her routine.

I started spending more time staring at Window B. Most of the time I would see her minding her own business – reading, talking on the phone, studying... but never changing.

***************

I wanted to see how far I could take it. This was a no-lose situation. Not a win-win, mind you. Actually this qualified as a "no-lose-further" situation. I had already lost. She had already found me watching her and had changed her routine as a result. Whatever respect she had for me was surely gone by now. 

And to think I had gone almost a week without seeing her luscious body! I had to do something. 

***************

I obviously wasn't thinking straight. Now that I look back at my actions, I realize how silly they were. What a juvenile approach I took towards this. But what else could have I done? Talk to her? Gauged her interest verbally? This wasn't going to be a real relationship! This was never more than a pervert watching his sister naked, and now that she had stopped, he was suffering from withdrawal. How could I have possibly confronted her about any of this and asked her to let me have my visual? 

There was no real solution to this. Except I tried something new... 

One day after she came home from school and went to the bathroom to change, I kept looking in Window B for her next actions. As soon as she came out of the bathroom, it was time for me to carry out my plan. The only window of opportunity (no pun intended) I had was when she stopped by the dresser to fix her hair. If I was lucky and she did what I hoped she would, my plan would be under way. This was a race against time. I had maybe less than a minute – it wouldn't take long for her to fix her hair and then she would move away from the dresser and onto her bed for a nap. 

I didn't want to face her. I had to make it look natural. Praying, I took off my shirt and turned away from Window B. And then I dropped my shorts.

***************

Peeking out of the corner of my left eye, I kept stealing glances at Window B. Look Mira! This way! 

My prayer was then answered. She had peeked at the window! And now was looking at my naked behind. What was most exciting was that she didn't have an ounce of amazement in her eyes. No sense of shock. Just a look of wonder and interest. I found her looking up and down my body. I am no jock - I am just a plain looking guy with an average body. But how many guys' bodies had my virgin sister seen? Not many I assumed. And this is exactly what I was banking on.

Now I had a raging hard-on. I snapped out of a trance as I gazed at my protruding dick and felt my hormones kick in. I realized that I had to continue with the mission. Acting normal – pretending as if I was changing – I hunched over to the ground to pick up my shorts. I took another glance at Window B. Mira was still watching, albeit from the corner of her eye. 

Smiling I put my shirt back on as well. The test would come to fruition the next day.

***************

That night I couldn't sleep. My palms were sweaty with anticipation. Would she change in her room tomorrow? Would she let me see her again or had she really gotten angry at me when she found me peeking? Had she found my naked body offensive? Or was she just a normal 18 year old with raging hormones as well? Would she reciprocate? That night I masturbated thinking about her letting me see her change again.

***************

Next afternoon couldn't have arrived soon enough. Mira came back from school, said hi to me and went to her room. Even though our body language had certainly changed, there had been no impact on both of our daily routines and demeanors.

And the impact of my lewd action the day before which I was hoping to see materialize? 

It didn't happen.

Mira changed her clothes in her bathroom. I found her walking out of the bathroom door fully clothed. She stopped by the dresser to fix her hair with a smug look on her face as if she was saying "What pervert? Did you expect me to show you my naked body? Grow up and stop dreaming about your sister you sick bastard!" 

I was so angry I went up to Window B and shut the blinds.

***************

She obviously wasn't interested in my stupid game. And of course she wasn't. What did she have to gain from this anyway? She wasn't the one looking at a hot body and dreaming about it. I was. And I had to do something.

You will laugh at my extreme lack of judgment and I admit it does sound kind of ridiculous but as most of you will agree - desperate times require desperate measures. I was not going to just roll over and accept defeat. Of course I had the option of letting the dust settle and hope that she forgets about me peeking at her and go back to her old routine of changing in her room. But who was I kidding? I was sure it wasn't happening. To make matters worse: summer was always over and I was leaving for college in about 3 weeks. I had to act now and I had to act fast. If this ruined my relationship with my sister so be it. So I decided to go a step further.

***************

Next day was a Friday. Mira was especially exhausted on Fridays and I knew she took extra long in the shower. I had enough time to execute my plan. 

I waited for her to go in the shower and stood up in my room. Immediately removing my clothes, I began to stroke my dick. I had to get it hard as soon as I could! Fast! I kept rubbing it and dreaming of Mira's beautiful body and her smooth skin. I fantasized about her milky tits and the brown chocolate nipples placed on her tits like cherries on an ice cream cake. 

Soon it was time. In Window B I saw the bathroom door open and a fully clothed Mira came out. I immediately turned sideways. She would be at the dresser any second now... Despite the shameless act I was committing I was still a bit shy -maybe a little embarrassed and ashamed at myself as well. There was no way I could have carried out my plan and looked her in her eye while doing it. But I needed to look at her to see her reaction, so I turned at an angle so I could still steal glimpses of inside her room in Window B.

By my calculation, she should have been at the dresser by now. I was also pretty sure she would look in Window B like she did everyday to see what was going on with her horned up brother. Would she find him staring at her again? Or would she find him changing again? (Or pretending to change again).

I was now bent over, pretending to pick up my shorts from the floor. The angle I had taken to bend over, I knew by the time I looked up I would have given her a full view of my front side. 

My hard dick is what I wanted to expose to her. What the hell was I thinking? A stupid little prick was supposed to turn a girl on? Now that I look back at this, I laugh at myself.

But expose myself I did. As I stood up from the floor with my shorts in my hands, I found her staring straight at Window B, with my erect penis in full view. Our eyes met, and I saw hers glancing down at my crotch. 

But this was it. She immediately turned away and didn't make eye contact with me again. Not through that entire day.

***************

I spent the weekend sleeping on pins and needles. I desperately wanted to see her reaction.

Mira didn't work on weekends. Our parents wanted us to spend this time with them since these were the only two days in the week when they were both home as well. So for two days there was not going to be any Mira coming back home to find me staring at Window B.

But on Monday, it happened... 

The routine was back! She was changing in her room. 

Another thing happened which sent chills down my spine and blood gushing into my penis.

***************

Mira came out of the shower wrapped in her towel and headed for the dresser. She would now drop the towel and quickly put on her underwear and clothes if the old routine was back. But this was different. She did drop her towel but she didn't put anything on. 

Mira stayed naked. She kept her clothes off and after I got a quick view of her butt crack, she turned around. I now had a direct view of her heavenly body from the right side. Her fingers were going through her hair as she kept staring at the dresser, away from Window B.

Her crotch was barely visible– the upper part of her pussy covered in light pubic hair disappearing just below near the bottom of the glass in Window B. I had her tits and belly button in full sight though. Her beautiful B cup boobs hanging lose but possessing just the right amount of tension in them to keep the nipples upright. They were hard too. I just wanted to jump in and grab those soft cushions. I had to restrain myself.

I had to do something. Next step? Think Raj! Think!

What did I want from her? Did I want to have sex with her? My body said yes. My mind said no. She was letting me watch her naked. Did this mean I could have her? What more would she let me do? Realistically there was no way I that I could ruin my brother-sister relationship with her – a relationship which had been cultivated by loving parents and was the result of a happy and content childhood. This incident so far it had just been a result of innocent curiosity about her body. OK let me rephrase that – this was hardly innocent. It had just been my hormones getting attracted to a hot girl's body. But the ramifications of this attraction were such that my mind was not going to let me go any further with this.

She was letting me watch her naked though. And this was an amazing deed unto itself. Nothing wrong with playing some more. Right?

Right.

"I will look but I won't touch." I promised myself. This will remain an innocent game.

Before I could snap out of my trance and do something, Mira turned around and headed for the dresser. She was now dressing up. No harm done. I had enough material to masturbate to for a month.

***************

While I stayed mesmerized by the entire day, that night when I went to bed two contradictory things occurred to me:

1. Throughout this entire ordeal – even while she had started to dress in the bathroom which I had taken it to mean that she was angry at me, she could had done something really simple to prevent me from watching her: Shut her bedroom door! 

If the bedroom door was shut, there would be no reflection from inside her room and Window B would be rendered useless. And this hadn't happened. Not once had the door been shut, except when she went to bed at night. What did this mean? Was she ok with me watching her?

OR

2. She either didn't know that I was watching her or was pretending not to know. I recalled that Mira had not looked once into Window B other than these three occurrences: the first day that she caught me watching her, the second time when I dropped my shorts and the third time when I let her see my hard-on. 




Reflections



Was she playing a game of "don't ask, don't tell?" Was she pretending that she didn't know I was watching her through Window B?

But... but... She let me watch her yesterday for a good 30 seconds. Without once looking at me! 

Did she know or not? How foolish could this girl be? Had she not realized I was looking at her through Window B? 

That was the million dollar question. It wouldn't be long before the question was answered.

***************

The next day something agonizing happened. I was actually hoping that Mira's actions would build on the previous day – that she would stay naked longer or at least just as long as she did the day before. 

Forget about staying naked, this time, she shut the door as soon as she got home and I heard her going into the shower. Ugh! I was furious. There would be no reflection in Window B today. 

Half horny and half angry, I was now twisting and turning in my bed, with my eyes transfixed on Window B which now reflected nothing but a dull image of her closed bedroom door - mocking me.

"She should be out of the shower by now," I thought to myself and became even more agonized.

But I wasn't going to let this happen.

"Mira," I called from my room. I had to get something going here!

I heard a noise in her room. She was walking out from the bathroom.

"Yes, Raj?"

"Have you seen my cell phone?" I called.

"What?" She replied. I don't think she heard me.

"My cell phone... Is it in your room?" I repeated the question as I yelled out.

"Hang on, I can't hear you." Mira replied. I heard more footsteps. As she got closer to the door, my heartbeat kept getting faster and louder. Opening the door she called out,

"Is what in my room?"

My small mission had been accomplished. I was able to make her come out of the shower by initiating this conversation. Her bedroom door was now open and I could see her in Window B. She was just wearing a towel. Obviously the door being open didn't pose any privacy concerns to her. It's not like I was standing directly in front of the door. 

"Can you please see if I left my cell phone in your room by mistake? I was on the phone before you came in and I was walking around the house. I can't find it anywhere, can you please check your room?" I replied.

"OK, let me check." 

Saying this, she dropped her towel and walked toward the inside part of her room. I was now getting a view of her heavenly body walking inside her room. My mouth was agape and my eyes were about to bulge out of their sockets.

"I can't find it here Raj," she yelled back to me as she got back towards the part of her room where I could see her clearly in the window.

"It's ok Mira, I can look elsewhere again." 

"OK. So what did you do all day?" She asked me, ignoring my answer. She was now drying her hair, standing completely naked otherwise.

"Uh... nothing. Just researched my university and read up on some news, etc." I replied.

She was having a conversation with me from inside her room. The door was open and I could see her naked. This was a total first – she never talked to me while changing, she always asked me to hang on, changed and came out to talk - but this was different. Of note: she still hadn't looked in Window B.

Mira was still either oblivious to the fact that I could see her or she was deliberately playing this game.

Drying her hair and crossing her leg, she said -

"So you are not going to work out today?" She asked as I stared at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, don't you change into your gym shorts around this time and head out?" She asked.

Bull's eye! 

So she did see me change the past two times I put on that act! And both times I had been changing into my gym shorts and then left the house. So she must be assuming that I was going to work out.

"Yea I do. I was about to leave but I can't find my phone."

I had to act now! Her question about me going to the gym clearly meant that she was ok with me finding out that she had seen me change. And if she was admitting she had seen me change, did it mean...? 

"So I guess I will go work out now and try to find it later." I continued.

Saying this I got up from my bed and went to my closet. I took off my shirt and pulled out the gym shorts. Then I went back to the spot which I used to stare into Window B.

She was now putting lotion on her body, and stealing occasional peeks inside my room through the window - the first time I saw her deliberately looking into the window.

I dropped the shorts that I had on. I was shirtless anyway. I looked up and saw her staring at me. The tip of my cock was now visible to her through the window, while I am sure the ballsack and the shaft were too low for the lower part of the glass to form a reflection. I then noticed her try to rise up on her toes to get a better look at the lower part of my body – specifically my balls and the shaft of my penis. I was happy to oblige. Still naked and hard, I moved away from Window B and climbed my bed. I was now standing on my bed with my legs spread, pretending to look away and putting my shorts on. This was now clearly a voyeur show. I continued the conversation, putting on my shorts at last:

"Sorry I made you come out of the shower because of my cell phone." 

"Oh no, it's ok, I was done anyway. All I had to do was change." She replied.

"But don't you change in the shower?" 

I pushed the envelope a little. This comment was meant to send a subtle hint to her about my familiarity with her routine.

"No I usually change in my room, like you do." She said, plainly. She was almost done putting lotion on her body and was now standing, legs crossed, facing the door and being fully visible inside Window B.

"At least you have the luxury of having an attached bathroom" I joked.

"Eh. It's cramped anyway. I like the freedom in my room here." 

"I agree. But I'd rather have your room though." I said.

"Why, you are never home anyway. You just come home from school and go work out these days. Speaking of which... aren't you going to work out now?" She asked.

"I am. I am just looking for gym shorts." 

Now remember we were still watching each other through Window B, but we were both pretending as if nothing was going on.

"You are so committed to working out. But you started this recently, right?" She asked. 

Another hint that she saw me change! 

"Yea." I took off the shorts again, gave her a full view of my naked body and went to the closet to look for another pair of shorts.

"You don't need to work out. Your body is toned enough." She gave a chuckle.

"Really, you think so?" I was now blushing. "How would you know." 

"Ah." She giggled. "It's nothing you can hide ya know. I mean it looks good whatever clothes you wear. Or not!" She laughed.

"What do you mean?" I had a sheepish grin.

"Aren't you parading around naked in your room looking for shorts?" She continued.

"Um... yea but I can't find them and what's the hurry?" I replied.

"I have to go out to the living room but you are naked in your room."

"You are not ready to come out either Mira," I smiled.

"Maybe I am." She gave a wicked smile too.

"Well, then I am dressed up and you can go to the living room." I replied.

"I will too Raj, don't test me." She shot back.

"Come on in, I got nothing to hide." I laughed.

"OK here I come..." She announced.

The tension in my cock rose. As she walked toward the doorway, I anticipated the time when she would enter my room and our eyes would meet, scanning every inch of each other's naked body. My cock was throbbing with desire.

"Ready or not..." She giggled.

Dashing toward the door, right when I anticipated her to walk in, she shut the door.

***************

"Hey..." I called out as I jumped off my bed and went close to the door. It was locked. "Not fair!"

"Put on some clothes you perv!" She held the door shut and scowled from inside.

"What do you mean?!" I yelled.

"How are you going to let me walk in while you are naked! So dirty!" She said.

"But I am not." I played with her to see how far this would go.

"Yes you are. I know you."

"How do you know Mira? I have my shorts on." I insisted.

"And is that why you are pressuring me to come out? What's the rush Raj?" She said in a sarcastic tone.

"You wanted to go out and I am done dressing up. I don't know why you don't want to leave your room."

"Stop lying, I could see through the window. You were naked you perv." 

There. She admitted it. She had done before. Did my insistence turn her off? A minute ago she was letting me see her, complimenting me on my body and now she was calling me a pervert.

"So were you!" I shot back.

There was a moment of silence. We were both coming clean. Only she wasn't aware that I have been watching her for weeks now.

"You could see through the window?!" She said, surprised.

"I guess the same way as you could see me." I smiled.

"Oh my God Raj! What have we done?" She scowled. "Ahhhh I am so embarrassed."

"Don't be Mira. I guess it's even. We both saw each other." I tried to calm her down. "No big deal."

"Yea but what if mom found out?" She sobbed.

"Come on." I sighed. "I won't tell her. Would you?" 

"No." She said, silently.

"OK then. Smile now. It's nothing. I was scared that you were mad at me for seeing you in the window the past 2 weeks so you started changing in the bathroom." 

I came clean.

"You have been watching me for the past 2 weeks?" She raised her voice in disbelief. "You! I will kill you! This is not nice Raj! Not funny either." She was frustrated. 

"Relax. I couldn't miss it. The window was right there. And the first time I saw it I was mesmerized. You truly are beautiful Mira."

"Shut up man, this is sickening." 

"I am serious. Any guy would kill to be with you. Take my word for it. You are beautiful." I kept showering her with compliments to try and relieve her of her initial shock.

"If I found out your sick ass was watching me I would never ever change inside my room." She sobbed.

"But I thought you did find out and that's why you started changing in the bathroom." I probed.

"No silly. I wasn't changing in the room because of a different reason."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, since you have seen the world now..." She said in a nasal tone. "It was the time of the month and I couldn't have just simply changed and did everything in the room. Don't ask any more questions!" She yelled back.

"OK. Well, I am just glad you didn't get mad at me." I sighed.

"Raj. This is sickening. You know what I mean? I am your sister for crying out loud! And I am angry so don't kid yourself!" 

"Look, I ... I am sorry but it was in plain view and I couldn't have avoided it." I said.

"So you continued to enjoy the show? Ugh I feel dirty." She was disgusted.

We were still having this conversation with her door locked and me just outside of it.

"I should feel dirty too then. You saw me and never told me either!" I shot back.

"I did tell you today, didn't I?. At least I didn't wait 2 weeks to tell you!" The zinging continued.

"Thanks for complimenting me on my body though." I tried to change the subject and lighten the mood.

"You too. But now I know why you were so turned on you slimy bastard. Because you were looking at me!" She snapped again and sobbed.

"Mira, Mira... Relax. Please. Ok? It was a natural reaction. I mean... you are beautiful and it would happen to anyone anytime they saw you." I tried to defend myself.

"Whatever." 

"Look if it makes you feel better... you did see me too. You don't see me complaining." I kept trying to explain.

"Yeah but you are a guy." She said, calming down a little.

"Yeah? And you are a girl. A hot one at that," I laughed.

"Shut up bastard." She laughed with me this time. "You are too horny."

"So are you going to the living room or what?" I played.

"Did you get dressed?" She asked.

"Eh... No." I chuckled.

"Neither did I." She confessed. "What's the point anyway... " She laughed.

"Open the door Mira." I took a shot in the dark.

***************

This timing was clearly perfect. The door slowly creaked and a crevice of light shone through.

"I am shy Raj." She giggled.

"Come on. It's ok love. I am the same way." I confessed.

"But don't enter the room, ok?" She warned.

"I won't. I promise." 

"Only through the window. Ok?" She asked again.

"Ok, ok love I promise!" I insisted.

She wanted to look at me and let me see her through the window only. Understandable. She was scared of physical contact but was probably turned on by all this.

The door finally was wide open and we could see each other again.

"You are beautiful." I exclaimed.

"Shut up Raj." She laughed. "You are such a pervert."

"Mira, to look at this beautiful body, I am willing to be accused of way more than just perversion. You are going to have to do a lot better," I joked. She laughed in response.

We were now staring at each other's naked bodies through Window B. Naked silhouettes. Every detail just as noticeable in the mirror as in without one. My heart was racing as if it was about to explode. I had the most perfectly shaped young body right in front of my eyes and my dick was standing up almost vertical. We kept looking at each other straight in the eyes too - without ever blinking once.

"Raj I admit this is so wrong but I don't want it to stop." She said in a hoarse voice.

"Me neither," I said calmly.

"We truly have no lives," she gave an embarrassed laugh. "I mean look at us, we are brother and sister for crying out loud."

"Isn't that the best part?" I smiled.

She laughed. 

"The first one I ever saw." Mira confessed.

"Same here." I said.

"Liar."

"Promise." I insisted.

She stood there silent for a second as if absorbing this entire situation - just admiring the hotness of it. How taboo this all was. Millions of thoughts went through my head as well, mostly sexual. What I would do to her. How I would want to lick her. Things of that nature. She was probably really turned on too. I saw her boobs move up and down as I saw her breathing fast.

"Why are you so hard Raj?" 

Now the conversation was overtly sexual.

"Mira come on. You are really asking me that? Give yourself some credit."

She laughed again. I began to rub my dick.

"Ay what are you doing?" She giggled.

"Trying to calm him down."

She began to rub her tits.

"What are you doing?" 

"I wish we weren't brother and sister. Watching you won't be so painful." She said, ignoring my reply.

I giggled and threw out another shot in the dark. "I know, right. I am just so curious about your body. That's all. I wish I was just allowed to touch it once."

"Sure you can touch." Saying this she threw her hands up as if inviting me to touch them, and stuck out her tongue jokingly.

"You know my hands won't be touching anything on your body." I winked. This was no brother-sister talk. This was hot horny first-time teenager talk.

"Oh really?" She laughed. "What would touch me then?"

"My tongue." She burst out laughing. 

"You are one crazy boy Raj!" 

Saying this she crossed her legs tight again. She was clearly getting turned on looking at my naked body and being watched by me.

"You know Raj sometimes I do get these feelings where I wouldn't mind being touched by a guy you know. But I sure as hell never thought about you this way." She was still pouring her heart out to me.

"And how do you like thinking about me now?" I joked, jerking my penis into the window a little.

"It's... intriguing for sure, I'll give you that." She hesitated and then laughed.

"Sure you can touch!" I mocked her earlier comment. Mira burst out laughing. She was now blushing too. I saw her smiling and playing with her hair.

"You wish!" She giggled.

"So do you!" I zinged back.

"At least I admit it." She mocked me. 

"So do I, except I would be licking it." I shot back.

"I never said anything about you not being allowed to lick!" She said in an inviting tone.

I rushed to the door. She didn't stop me. Seconds later, I was in her room, staring at her.

****************

She was now rubbing her thighs together, gathering pleasure. Her legs were constantly moving and she was making no secret as to where the pleasure was directed to. The fire burned between her legs. And she wanted to quell it.

Staring at my naked sister with her eyes locked onto mine, I felt my cock throb.

Her eyes were transfixed on it, while mine kept invading her body. From one nipple to the other to the pussy to her hourglass figure and back to her eyes which looked like deep valleys. She was purely a creature from heaven - like the virgins you hear about in fairy tales. How could I have waited any longer?

I slowly moved towards her. She kept staring at me. With my eyes locked onto hers, I kneeled down and kissed her hands. She rubbed her fingers through my hair and gave an affectionate pull.

I stood up, moved closer and kissed her on her lips.

This was so beautiful. She tasted like honey. Smooth, sweet and pure. Then our naked bodies hugged. My cock was up to the level of her stomach. I slathered pre-cum all over her tummy. She giggled and moved back a little - never removing her lips from mine.

I moved back gently, bent down and carried her to her bed. She didn't say a word. I handled her fragile body with care. She was breathing with anticipation. Her pussy was no doubt throbbing. 

When I went down there, I saw wetness. I spread her legs, kissed her belly and then went south. My tongue was now sending shocks of pleasure all over her body via her virgin pussy. She had never been touched there before. 

"What are you doing Raj?" She yelped.

"Just checking to see how you taste." 

"Eow Raj you dirty horny thing!" She giggled and whined with pleasure at the same time.

I was now lapping at her pussy, moving my tongue up and down her virgin lips. I kissed the little tuft of pubic hair above her cunt, I licked her thighs and rammed my tongue inside her pussy. I adored her. This was the most beautiful day of my life.

****************

She was biting her lips and twisting her nipples with pleasure. She kept screaming the entire time I spent licking her cunt. Throughout her body kept shuddering. Several times she shook with pleasure and other times she continued to spasm and kick her legs around as I inserted my tongue inside her pussy.

***************

She was scared to suck my cock all the way through. But she was amazed by it. She licked it up and down the shaft and even took the head inside her mouth a couple times. In the end I came with brute force - knocking her over with my legs with her hands still wrapped around my cock. My cum landed on her stomach. 

She burst out laughing. 

***************

After we were done and our energies had been expended to the point of infinity - we got to talking again.

"Mira"

"Yes Raj?"

"I am sorry if this makes things weird. But if it helps, I am going away to St. Louis next week and I won't be back till the end of the semester."

"Yea."

"I hope the time away from each others helps us forget." I sighed.

"I will never forget this Raj. Even if we don't ever do it again, I don't think either of us will forget. But this doesn't mean that things will be weird. We are still brother and sister. Just a little different, that's all." She smiled, reassuring me that everything would be ok.

"You are so calm and so cool." I had an admiring tone in my voice.

"Oh and one more thing..." She said. "I know where your cell phone was you faker." 

"Where?" I smiled.

"I saw it on your dresser. I know you staged the whole thing."

"Really?"

"Yes. I saw you looking the first time I saw you drop your shorts." She smiled, kissed me on my lips and hugged me tight.



Reflections



Several pictures of her were tucked into the sides of the mirror over his dresser. Most were school pictures, and one was of the two of them together, their arms wrapped around each other, both of them smiling at the camera. My hand, holding the brush that I had picked up from amidst the clutter on his dresser, stopped in mid-air as I peered at those pictures. 

I glanced from her to my own reflection in the mirror, unable to help the mental comparisons. She was blonde and blue-eyed, petite and quite pretty. I was pretty in an unusual way, pretty in the right light, the right clothes, the right make-up, but I knew that I didn't possess that fresh, natural beauty anymore. That was gone—it had passed away somewhere between college frat parties and establishing my first 401K. 

A heavy, sodden dullness settled somewhere in the pit of my stomach as I glanced from her picture to my naked reflection in the mirror, and then to Del, who was behind me, hauling up his jeans and cramming in the tails of his shirt.

"I've gotta shave," he said, moving to look over my shoulder. The mirror revealed him rubbing his cheek. He had a shock of light blonde hair that always seemed in need of cutting or combing, eyes like clear blue glass, and he moved with a slim, languid, muscled grace that still made me turn to watch him as he walked away. 

He had a durably boyish face, but he was only eighteen. His features would change somewhat by the time he was my age—but I knew his eyes wouldn't change. His eyes were the thing that attracted me the most; there was some sort of reserve there that I still couldn't place.

"What do you think?" he asked me, pushing his bottom lip forward in thought and studying his face in the mirror. "Should I grow a beard?"

"If you want," I replied, finding my voice. I hadn't thought I could speak through whatever seemed congealed in my throat.

"I could leave the stubble," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and rubbing his cheek against my neck. I shrank away a little from the feeling, smiling indulgently. I loved the feel of his clothed body against my bare skin. 

"Yuk." I wrinkled my nose, turning in his arms, away from the mirror and the pictures of his girlfriend.

"Okay," he agreed with a little smile. "Want to come watch me shave?"

"Do we have time?" I asked, putting my arms around his neck and beginning to brush the back of his hair.

"My mom won't be home 'til after three," he said, glancing at the clock over the bed that we'd just vacated. 

"Okay," I said, pulling out of his arms and putting the brush back down on his dresser. I reached for my t-shirt. "Let me put something on."

"Nuh-uh," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me in to him. He kissed my shoulder, my neck, nibbling on my earlobe. "Stay like this."

I raised my eyebrows at him, but just smiled when he took my hand and I followed his lead out of his room and down the long hallway to the bathroom. I loved his bathroom, and the bathtub most of all. It was a marble sunken thing that I'd been dying to soak in since I'd seen it three months ago, when Del and I had first started coming to his house on Saturdays when no one was home. I still hadn't had the chance and I didn't know if I would. Maybe there would be time this summer, if his parents went out of town for some reason before I went back to teaching in Japan in the fall.

I slid up on the counter and watched him take out his razor, the shaving cream, and a towel. I loved to watch him shave, to see him leaning over the sink to look into the wall-to-wall mirror, long-legged and slender, razor poised in mid-air. It was such a masculine thing, shaving, there was something about sharing it that made me more of a part of his world somehow.

I watched him lather his face and thought of the picture in his bedroom of him and Tracy. I remembered her arm around him in such a casual air of ownership. It bothered me. What bothered me more was the absence of my own picture in that mirror. 

I think this was the first time I realized what they meant. They held the sweet promise of a future, something he and I didn't have. It was a foregone conclusion that the relationship would be over when I went back to Japan and he started college in the fall. 

So, what did I expect? I knew when we had started seeing each other that I was going to be the "other woman." I knew it all along. He didn't lie to me. There was no future for us, there was only right now.

I realized that he was looking at me, half-shaved, razor poised, giving my face a long and interested search.

"Should I ask?" He raised one eyebrow in my direction. I loved that.

"Ask what?"

"What you're so lost in thought about." He put the razor back to his face and looked back in the mirror. "You're usually chatting a mile a minute when you watch me shave."

I just shrugged, planting an elbow on my knee and resting my chin on my cupped hand, my eyes following the razor's path, my mind wandering. I hadn't planned on getting involved. I was home to take care of some things with my parents' estate, just for a few months. I hadn't planned on meeting someone, let alone some high school kid fifteen years my junior. 

But Del wasn't like most eighteen year olds, and I had found myself drawn to him, trusting him in ways I knew I shouldn't. Things had happened as naturally as breathing. He had seeped into my life, filling the cracks, dulling the cutting edge of my loneliness back here where things were so familiar but I didn't know anyone anymore. I hadn't planned any of it, but how could you plan to fill a void that you didn't even know existed? 

"Are you going to see her tomorrow?" I asked, slanting him the question. 

He hesitated and I wondered if he was going to play dumb. He didn't, but, as usual, he didn't give me a straight answer either. "You have a beautiful cunt, you know that?" he asked. His eyes fell to the triangle between my legs. 

"Thank you." I smiled, knowing he was trying to distract me, and I let him. I put my feet up on the counter, opening my thighs, giving him a better view. "So are you going to see her?"

"Samantha." He said my name with a sigh. I didn't reply but just watched him instead. 

"I might," he said, raking the razor over the few spots he had missed. I waited. "Probably."

More silence as he wiped his face clean with a towel. "Ok, yeah, I guess."

"I figured."

He put some shaving cream on the tip of his finger and touched my nose with it. 

I rolled my eyes. "Jerk!" I wiped it off with my hand and dabbed it onto the tuft of my pubic hair with a grin.

His eyes lit up and he reached over and opened the top drawer under where I was sitting, pulling out a pair of manicure scissors.

"I was kidding!" I replied, grabbing his towel and wiping the shaving cream off. 

"I'm not," he said, snapping the scissors open and closed, his eyes flashing, his grin devious.

"I thought you liked it!" I cried. In spite of my ever-advancing age, the start of crow's feet around my eyes, I was very proud that I was a natural redhead. Men were amazed and fascinated that the hair between my legs just a shade darker than the strawberry-blonde hair on my head. Del had expressed that same sentiment many times.

"Mmm, I do," he replied, kneeling on the floor so he was eye-level between my legs. He leaned in and kissed all around my pubic hair. "But I'd love to lick your pussy when it was shaved."

I touched the curly, wiry mass of hair. "I wonder what it would feel like..." I had never thought to trim or shave there. I was afraid of losing something, some part of myself. It was silly, but there it was. 

"Want to find out?" He showed me the scissors again. Seeing him eyeing my bits with a sharp implement in his hands was quite a shock. 

"I don't know," I replied, biting my lip and stalling. "Do we have time?"

"Plenty." His lips brushed my thigh as he breathed in my scent. The sight of his unruly blonde head between my legs elicited an immediate response and I felt myself opening to him. "Don't you trust me?"

I sighed. That was the question, wasn't it? "Should I?" 

"Yes," he replied, his fingers probing my slit, spreading it open. He kissed my clit, his lips soft against my flesh. 

"Ok," I breathed, leaning back against the mirror as his tongue moved through my wetness. 

"I want to kiss her goodbye." he murmured, easing his way through, making his tongue into a sharp little point to probe inside of me. I moaned when his fingers replaced his tongue, sliding deep into my flesh as his mouth moved over my clit. I was still surprised at how skilled he was at this, how attentive, how eager to please. 

I moaned as he gently sucked and nibbled my clit, his fingers beginning to move in a slow, steady rhythm. I cupped my breasts in my hands, tweaking my nipples as I watched him lick me, his eyes on mine, watching my response. I lifted my breast, reaching my tongue out for my nipple, a fat, pink bud. He watched me lick at it, making it wet with my saliva, and he groaned, the vibration sending a quick jolt through my pussy. 

I closed my eyes, my head going back, shifting my hips forward toward his mouth, letting the sensation build, like the spark of a flame starting a wildfire between my legs. I loved the wet noises he made as he urged me on with his tongue, the squelch of his fingers pistoning in and out of me. I grabbed his hair, calling his name, rocking my hips with him now. 

He murmured something but I couldn't hear the words as I pressed him harder against me, using his mouth now, moving my hips in easy circles. I was close, my thighs trembling with the effort. Del pulled his head back, shaking off my hand, his face glistening with my juices. I looked down at him, surprised, bewildered, as he grinned at me.

He lifted the scissors again, and I gasped, my pussy swollen and throbbing and aching for release. 

"Now?" I panted, reaching for him, longing to press his face between my legs again.

"Yes," he replied, starting to trim the hair between my legs. "I want to taste you when you're all smooth."

I groaned, watching him pull the hair taut with his fingers and snip it, bit by bit, working his way up one side of my labia and down the other. The pulse between my legs was an incessant reminder, and feeling him pushing and pulling at my lips, watching his tongue sneak out of his mouth as he concentrated, was making it worse. I rubbed my fingers over my nipples, feeling it immediately in my clit, and shivered.

"Hurry," I whispered, looking at him through half-closed eyes and he smiled, watching me pull and twist my nipples, his eyes darkening with lust. 

"God, you make me so hard," he said, reaching down to adjust himself in his jeans. 

I looked down at what he'd done so far. There were light red pubic hairs all over the counter, and my mound looked like it had undergone a military buzz cut. "What if your mom finds red pubic hair in the bathroom?" I asked, brushing some off my thighs. 

"I'll clean it all up," he replied, changing the blade on the razor and running it under water. He put some shaving cream on his hands and started lathering me up between my legs. I wondered for a moment if it would sting or burn and was relieved to find that it didn't. 

My lips still felt so swollen, my clit throbbing. He was being much more careful with me than I'd ever seen him be with himself. He shaved downward at first, rinsing the razor under warm running water after each pass, and then he shaved upward, clearing every last hair away with the sharp, double-edged blade. 

The air on the wet skin of my vulva was cool, and I shivered. It was a strange sensation. He rinsed the razor again, and then got the towel wet, wringing it out before beginning to wipe me down with it. I whimpered as he rubbed it over my pussy, again and again, making a few passes over my thighs and down my ass. Then he used the towel to wipe down the counter and the floor beneath my feet before tossing it into the sink.

Then he stood back, his arms crossed, admiring his handiwork. I could see the bulge in his jeans, and knew he was as excited as I was.

"How does it feel?" he asked me with a smile. 

"Cold," I replied with a little laugh, reaching down to touch myself. So smooth! The air had dried my skin and it was as soft as rose petals under my fingers. I stared at him, amazed. "Can I see?"

"Turn around," he said, coming to stand in front of me, helping me swing my legs around on the counter, leaning back against him for support as I did. 

My eyes were drawn between my legs and I gasped. Completely shorn, my pussy looked so tiny, almost like a little girl, no more hair spreading upward in a triangular thatch to give the illusion of larger proportions. My lips were pink and swollen, parted enough to show my clit peeking out at the top. I touched it and moaned softly, the sensation intense. 

"She's beautiful," Del said, holding me against him, cupping my breasts and then moving one hand down my belly, seeking the wetness between my thighs. "You're beautiful."

His hand stroked my hairless and exposed labia and we both watched in the mirror as he parted my lips and slid a finger into me. He lifted it to his mouth, tasting me, and I moaned. 

"Let me kiss her," he said, holding my shoulders and turning me toward him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my tongue seeking his and finding it, tasting me in his mouth. He pressed his crotch against me, his cock hard and straining at the fabric. The roughness of the denim over my exposed skin was a powerful sensation, incredibly arousing in a way I had never experienced before. I rubbed myself there against him, sucking his tongue into my mouth.

He groaned, breaking the kiss and adjusting himself again as he knelt between my thighs. His breath over my now-bare skin was a panting heat, and I wiggled and moved my hips closer to his mouth. He feathered kisses over my lips, moaning at the smoothness of it, and I marveled at it, too. My wetness had nowhere to go, nothing to contain it, and I could feel my juices beginning to flow, a steady trickle between my legs. 

"Oh, god!" I cried, feeling him spreading my wetness over the sensitive, unprotected skin of my lips, his tongue lapping it off. He nuzzled my clit with his nose, delving into my pussy with his tongue to find more of my juices, drawing me out. He made his tongue flat, moving it over my whole pussy in long, easy strokes, bottom to top, stopping just short of my clit every time. 

I grabbed his hair, moaning, "Lick it! Please!" directing him there with my hands, my hips, and sighing as his tongue swept over my clit, still flat and soft and open, teasing me with slow, gentle strokes. I watched him, my bald lips disappearing when he opened his mouth to suck on them. It may have appeared smaller and more dainty, but my pussy felt three times more swollen and sensitive in this unveiled state. I moaned and rolled my hips, spreading my legs wider and pressing up against his mouth.

He slipped two fingers into me, pumping them through the dripping, soppy mess that I was making all over him and the counter, but it felt so good that I didn't even hesitate when I started fucking him back, thrusting my hips against his hand. He groaned an encouragement, his tongue moving fast and furious against my clit now, his fingers matching my fierceness. 

"Close," I whispered, but he knew it and didn't stop, giving me more and more, until I bucked and twisted and shuddered, cumming in a flood all over his face. I shivered, the cool air over the bare moisture between my legs giving me goosebumps, and let my body start to relax, my feet slipping off the counter and resting over Del's shoulders as I gasped and panted, still feeling a quiver deep in my lower belly. 

Del stood then, grabbing my ankles in one hand and putting them over his shoulder. His mouth and face were glossy and slick, his eyes burning as he unbuttoned his jeans to reveal his hard cock. I gasped and moaned when he shoved it up against my pussy, my legs still pressed together, straight up, my ankles crossed against his left shoulder. He rubbed the head of it all through the wet heat of my now-smooth skin, my slit squeezed together, tight, a moist resistance against the force of his hard cock slipping through, up and down, again and again. 

"Fuck me," I begged. 

The wet, smooth entrance of my pussy now gave him no fuzzy obstruction as he slid the head of his cock down and pierced my soft, creamy flesh. He groaned, stopping when he was fully in me, the saddle of his hips rocking me just a little back toward the mirror. I moved to open my legs, but he held them tight against his shoulder, beginning to fuck me that way, my pussy a snug, smooth, shaven crease, all wet heat and tight friction. He cupped my breast with his other hand, pulling and twisting my nipple as he drove into me, his breathing harsh, moving into me with hard, long thrusts. 

The sensation of my now hairless pussy being squeezed and pummeled at once, the delicious, damp grinding of his hips against mine, feeling him shove into me faster and harder as he worked his cock through my flesh, was almost too much. I had never been the kind of girl who had multiple orgasms, but the stimulation between my legs now was fast driving me toward the contrary. 

"I love your shaved pussy," he growled, moving his hips in small circles, working his cock against the pressure and tension of my legs squeezed together, my pussy lips closed firmly around him. I arched my back and moved my hips with his, straining to grind my clit toward ecstasy. 

I closed my eyes, feeling him start to thrust deeper and make the low, grunting noise he always made just before he came. I strained against him, twisting in exquisite torture with my clit trapped between my swollen pussy lips, my compressed thighs, and then I felt a dam burst, a violent shudder racking my body as I came again. 

Del groaned and pulled quickly out of me, opening my legs and aiming his cock directly at my clit, finishing himself off quickly with a few strokes of his hand. The heat of his cum over my pussy was a burning shock and I gasped, writhing as wave after wave seared the bare skin of my vulva. 

"Incredible," he murmured, his fingers spreading his seed over my lips. He smiled at me. "So, how do you like it?"

"I love it," I replied, sitting up and putting my arms around him. "I can't believe how sensitive my pussy is now."

He groaned. "Don't start tempting me again, my mom will be home in an hour!"

"Well, let's get cleaned up before mommy comes home," I said, sliding off the counter. I wiped up with a tissue and looked longingly at the marble bathtub before following him into the other bathroom where there was a shower stall. 

I found myself back in his room, brushing my wet hair and contemplating the pictures of his girlfriend tucked into the mirror while Del pulled on his jeans. 

"I want to meet her some day," I told him, fingering the edges of one of the photos. He stared at me for a moment.

"That would be interesting," he said, pondering it.

"Might be awkward, but maybe not," I said. "After all, she doesn't even know I exist. No one knows I exist." 

He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I know you exist."

He kissed my neck and I got a wave of deja-vu. I looked at my body in the mirror, the triangle between my legs a conspicuous absence. It made me look and feel strangely younger, but also more exposed—vulnerable. 

"You two are so different," he said, running his hand over my hip.

"I had that feeling," I replied. "Aside from the age difference, I mean."

"Your pussy looks so sweet like this," Del said, his eyes and fingers caressing me there. 

I smiled, twisting out of his arms and grabbing my panties and jeans off the end of the bed. "So, tell me the truth, did you get involved with me just for the sex?" 




Reflections



Thank you to "LadyCibelle" and "Techsan" for the editing of my stories they make them a much better read.

Chapter 1: A older man reflects back.

It's hell getting old. Not as much getting old as losing your friends and loved ones. My wife passed away last year of the dreaded cancer. I'm a little mad at God for that. I went up to the alter many years ago and told God that I would do my best to live a good Christian life if he would do me one favor. I wanted to die before any of my kids or my wife. I later went back to the alter and included the grandchildren. I just didn't want to be one of those people who would have to bury their loved ones. I didn't feel I was strong enough for that.

I'm only sixty-one and Mary would have been sixty this year if God would have honored my prayer. Now I am alone in a house that my wife completely fixed up the way she wanted it. I don't know about staying here now, with so many memories. That's another thing about being retired. The use of your time. My wife always had chores for me to do. I would get up and gripe and groan everyday. Now I would gladly do those little things for her, if only she was here.

I decided to take up writing stories. For a lonely old guy it takes up time and is a great way to reminisce. That's what I thought I would write about. I might get off track a few times but I want to write what's in my head while I can still remember it. So if you are reading my story please bear that in mind.

I was born in the big city some sixty plus years ago. To some people they think that was a long time ago. I remember of a lot of my past as though it was yesterday. The youngsters think I am ancient. They ask me questions about the Roman Empire and if I knew Abraham Lincoln. Kind of funny when you think about it. I think if I had to do it all over again I would have studied a hell of a lot harder. I would try harder to remember history and chemistry. The two subjects I wasn't worth a shit in but are the two that everyone seems to ask questions about. 

Wow, I better jump ahead a few years or this story will go on for ever and it's supposed to have a little sex in it. If it's about my life I can guarantee that there will be very little sex. That was a joke readers, us old guys like to throw shit like that in their writing. My sex life actually was pretty good. I dated a lot in school and played kissy, kissy with about any girl that wanted to. I dated and got a few feels but no real action till my senior year. 

That's when I met Paula, my real first love interest. As I mentioned I did have a reputation for flirting but the real action began with Paula. For my graduation present she gave me her cherry. You have to understand back then that was a really big thing. I wish it were true today too, with all my grandchildren and all. I hope they wait till they find their true love.

Paula and I went on a secret date. I had to meet her on the corner because her parents hated me. I don't know why but maybe they knew my ulterior motive. I wanted in her pants. Hell, I wanted in anyone's pants. Other than masturbation my love life consisted of feeling some nice boobies and rubbing a few snatches through their jeans. 

I guess I could add a little voyeurism into the mix. Damn, I liked looking at women. I wanted to see the real thing. I got tired of reading National Geographic or Health and Medical magazines. Besides about every picture in the health magazine had some kind of disease, which kind of grossed me out.

I got my chance. Paula and I got in the back seat of my car and we expressed our dying love for each other. I should say if I'm being honest here that it was her dying love for me and me dying to get in her panties. I remember it like it happened yesterday. In fact I'll probably get a hard on thinking about it right now. I don't give a shit what a lot of people say. A lot of men do not, I'll repeat that, do not need Viagra or any other enhancing pill. I'm very capable of getting a hard-on my own even though I would prefer a little help from a nice lady.

Paula and I got into the back seat and started kissing and hugging. I reached up and went to first base. She didn't stop me as I lowered my hand onto her jean-covered thigh and squeezed it. I put my hand on her belt and started to unfasten it. Then I unbuttoned the top button of her jeans and slowly slid the zipper down. When I glanced down I saw her pink panties. I was as hard as a rock. I was hoping I would be able to last for awhile. My first time and I wanted it badly. I pulled my hand up above her soft belly and started it downward behind her panties.

She grabbed my wrist and said, "Eddie, I know how bad you want it. I want it just as much as you and I'm going to give myself to you tonight. I want you to know a couple of things. I'm still a virgin and I'm nervous as hell and scared. I know you like me but I also know you like a lot of girls. I'm doing this because I love you, Eddie. I need you to know this. I want my first time to be with you. I wish we could be together forever until death do us part but only time will tell."

After she said that I realized what a truly wonderful caring person she was. Did I love her? Hell, I didn't know. I was an eighteen year old boy in heat, about to get his first piece of ass. Love, infatuation, hormones, call it what you want but at that given moment I loved her and would always remember her as my first love.

I can't explain how wonderful it felt. I did it, I had sex, I made love with someone I truly liked and I know liked me. I'm writing about her because there will always be a place in my heart for her. That was the only time we made love together.

I went off to college the following week. I tried to contact her before I left but her parents wouldn't let her talk to me. I really felt bad but it was time for me to continue on my life's adventures. College life for me was probably the same as for most guys. A little bit of studying and a lot of partying. I had sex with many girls during college. I did remember to practice safe sex thanks to my dad who hounded me about abstaining but if I was unable to control my hormones then at least practice safe sex.

I came home for one of the holidays and headed over to see Paula. They had moved and none of my friends knew where. We had gone to different schools so we had different friends. She lived down the street from one of my cousins. I got to know her and whenever I visited my cousins and I would go over and see her. We became pretty good friends. I asked my cousin about her moving but he didn't have a clue where they moved to. He told me if he ever found out he would let me know. I really felt a sorrow falling over me. I guess I cared for her more than I realized. I suppose you can see that because here it is forty-one years later and I'm telling you about it. Life goes on.

I met my wife Mary while visiting one of my sisters. I had two sisters and two brothers. We were a pretty good size family. Well, back to how I met Mary. I had a habit of just walking in the my sisters home, never thinking about knocking or ringing a doorbell. I stopped by my sister's and there was this girl. Hell, she wasn't a girl. She was a woman baby setting for my sister. Mary let out a little scream when I walked into the house. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Gina's my sister. You must be Eddie."

"Yep, in the flesh. And you are?" 

"Mary. I watch your sister's kids once in awhile. Glad to meet you."

Damn, this gal looked sweet. Short, big busted and a nice looking butt. At least it looked nice through her jeans. I got to talking with her and her family was larger than mine. She had four brothers and two sisters. She was somewhere in the middle, having some older and some younger. I was the youngest of our clan.

She was so sweet to talk to, I wanted to get to know her better. I asked her if she wanted to go out to a movie or something? She said sure and we made a date for that evening. We went to the drive-in. I like drive-ins - cheap and lots of privacy for making out. We did a lot of huggy kissy stuff but she wouldn't let me get to first base - touching her boobs.

I'm sitting here writing this story and remembering that's the same way she was her last eight years of life. Ever time I would touch her boob she would tell me to quit it. What kind of sex pervert was I turning into? I loved her right till the end, I really did. Our sex life sucked because it was almost non existent but that didn't stop me from loving her. I started sleeping in another bedroom. She wasn't big on cuddling any more. She said my body was always too hot. Thinking back when we were first married she loved my hot body, always putting those cold feet against me.

I'm not positive what made her change. Maybe the sickness, maybe she got tired of me. We would always argue about it. We did do it a few times but she said she didn't get much out of it. She kept telling me it wasn't me that it was her. She even said it hurt to do it a couple of times. Once she told me she didn't really feel anything. That is about as turned off as I could get after that.

I know once she found out about the cancer it was her sickness or some of the medication she was taking. I could understand it then. I loved her but couldn't make love to her. One pill was for her nerves. I figured it cut off her feelings. 

Maybe I'm skipping too much here. After our date at the drive-in I asked her out whenever I was home from college. In my second year of college she got pregnant. I listened to my dad when I was at college but didn't follow his advice with Mary. We got married and had our first of three kids. I switched over to going to school part-time because then I had a family to raise. We found a little apartment that was just right for the three of us. Whenever I was home, not working or at school I was making love to Mary. She was so sweet, soft and cuddly. I loved doing things to her. 

I remember the first time I dropped down to kiss her pussy. "What are you doing, Eddie, that's dirty, my pussy is dirty. Eddie, you shouldn't be doing that. You really shouldn't."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, but..."

"Does it feel good and make you want to cum."

"Yes but..."

"You're my wife, I like eating out your pussy, you like me doing it. Do you want me to stop making you feel good?"

"No, God, Eddie, it feels so good, please don't stop." She grabbed my head and pulled it into her vagina till she climaxed and let out a yell.

I felt her pussy let out spasm after spasm. I pulled back and was going to climb on but she asked me to wait a few minutes because the nerves in her pussy were too sensitive at the moment. So I crawled up and gently caressed and sucked on her breasts.

There was one time I asked her to give me a blow job. We were in a sixty-nine position with her on top. She straddled my face and I tongued her as best as I could from that position. She was holding my dick and was kissing it when she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she couldn't do it. She wanted to and she tried but she just couldn't do it. I told her that was alright. The last thing I wanted was for her to force herself to do something she didn't feel comfortable with. When you love someone it was supposed to be enjoyable.

She made it up to me in other ways. She would make love to me in most any position. She would always stay with me till I came. She let me take her in just about every way possible. We tried anal twice but neither one of us liked it. She said it hurt her and it squeezed my dick so hard I was almost in pain. So we pretty much made love in the more standard positions. I have no complaints about her love making in our early years.

Eventually we had child number two and number three. Two boys and a girl. The girl being the youngest. We had a great life and did everything families do together. That's when I made the biggest mistake of my life. I had an affair. It went on for about three months. After the newness of the affair wore off I wanted out. I wasn't exactly sure how to end it when Mary caught me in a lie. I was a stupid fucking fool.

Mary screamed and yelled and cried. It was the lowest point in my life. I really considered taking my own life. I really loved Mary. I just did something really, really stupid. Because Mary was a compassionate caring woman she kept me. I don't know if she did it because she loved me or for the kids sake. To this day I really don't know for sure. All I knew is that I hurt her deeply. So deeply that life between us was never the same after that. This might be hard for most readers to understand but my infidelity hurt me probably as much as it hurt Mary. I know that a part of me was now dead to Mary. The caring, trusting, forgiving and loving part of our marriage had changed. I don't think she ever forgave me. I know to her dying day I never heard her say it.

About a month after the affair things went pretty much back to normal. We did the school things with the kids. We took them on trips whenever we could afford to. Over all, our family life was good. Our sex life on the other hand had diminished. We still did it but a lot of Mary's emotion was gone. God, how I missed it. She still climaxed and always waited for me. I few times after a party or wedding she would drink a little too much and she acted more like old times. I think I lost her trust. She didn't seem like she would completely let go anymore.

I know during our arguments, of which we had many over the years, she would always bring up trust. I tried to explain to her that I couldn't change the past. I wish I could but I can't. During a couple of arguments I asked her if she wanted me to leave? All she would say is, "Leave if you want to. There is no one holding you back. Go if you want to go." It hurt me. Her not caring really hurt me.

I don't know how many times I thought about leaving. I loved my kids and they loved me. I loved Mary but about the only time she said, "I Love You," was in a birthday or anniversary card. I'll take that back. Whenever I would walk up to her and say, "I love you," she would say, "I love you too." It seems strange now but that is the absolute God's truth.

God how I miss her. I'm sitting here and she keeps coming into my mind and all the little things she did for me. To most people they might say, "Big fucking deal." But all the little things add up, like the way she makes a sandwich. I would ask her why hers taste so good when I used the exact same ingredients. She always said she put love in her sandwiches. I believe there was truth in that statement. I believe she put love in everything she did and it showed. The way she would clean for me and the kids. Her wash was always the whitest. 

There was not a better sound in the world than listening to her laugh with the kids and later the grandkids. Her laugh would lighten up a room. We would go to a department or grocery store and I could always find her because she was always laughing. I just followed the laugh and there she was. The only problem was she didn't laugh with me quite as much. Not since that stupid mistake I made.

On our first six anniversaries we received a card. I always blamed her, that's not the right word, I always suspected she sent it to us, because she hated mailing cards. She told me she knew I sent it. The cards were never signed with a signature. The first year it said YGMF. The next five years it only said MFL. After about six years they stopped coming. I figured she thought that went on long enough. Another thing I remember, she was a great cook! She could bake, broil, fry or grill. It was all good. They always called the guys the grillers but in our house she did it or at least got it all ready so I wouldn't mess it up.

It's odd how through the years we seemed to grow apart in some areas closer in others. Our love life is where we grew apart but in everything else we seemed closer. Even watching TV programs together. It's kind of a weird feeling now. When I sit on my old chair and watch a program that we used to watch together it's as though she is sitting there on the couch in her usual place watching it with me.

Boy, this is harder to talk about than I thought. I always wonder about the 'Do Over' or the 'What If?' factor. What if when I went back to see my old girlfriend Paula that day and she was there, how much would my life have changed. Granted everything from that point on would have been different but I often wonder how different. If I wouldn't have cheated on Mary, if I could have a 'Do over,' would our life be better?

For anyone who is reading this out there and is having an affair or thinking about having one, don't do it or get out of it now. It is not worth the price you pay. If you don't love your spouse then get a divorce or separate for awhile. I'm not trying to be a philosopher here. I'm trying to tell you the truth. Affairs and cheating are way overrated. If you love another or are falling out of love with your partner then talk to them. Sure there will be an argument and lots of yelling and screaming and, yes, even crying. If you wait and get caught, which you will eventually, it's going to happen anyway but the pain will be so much worse.

I remember about three years ago before she knew about the cancer, we went to a wedding. We danced and I even squeezed the cheeks of her butt on the dance floor. She hit me playfully and asked what if someone was watching. She must have had too many screw drivers. She loved the orange juice and was feeling it pretty good. It was the old Mary back. I took it slow and easy, hoping she was back for good. The Mary I married, the Mary that I made love to so many times. The Mary I loved so deeply. We danced, kissed and hugged just like old times. I think I had tears in my eyes, my old Mary was back, at least for the one night.

As we entered the house I helped her off with her clothes. We may have been in our fifties but I felt like twenty-five again. I went to her bed that night. I kissed and hugged her. As I lay next to her I gently massaged her breasts. They weren't firm like when we got married but they were soft and smooth. Mary always had the smoothest skin. I don't think she ever had a pimple. I leaned over and took a nipple in my mouth and sucked on it. It's been so long since she let me do it. She hated to have her breasts groped or grabbed but when she was hot she loved the sucking and gentle squeezing of her breasts.

I put my hand down to her tummy and rubbed. I felt her intake of breath as I gently rubbed her little belly. I couldn't believe this was happening after cheating on her fifteen years before. I remember thinking there really was a God. I moved my hand further down over her naked body onto her mound which was now a mixture of brown and lightly gray hair. She shaved around the sides by her legs and trimmed her bush. I ran my hand over and over it, running my finger through her bush. I felt her getting excited and spread her legs as I pushed my fingers deeper into her valley.

I noticed that her eyes were closed and she made sounds but did not talk to me. I believe she wanted it badly and was willing to be her old self this one time. I dropped down to the end of the bed and covered her pussy with my mouth. I felt her hands come down, I thought she was going to push me away but instead she separated the folds of her pussy to give me better access to her and I took advantage of it, burying my face deep within her, darting my tongue out and feeling the moisture within. She was humping my face, just like old times. She let herself go with me and started to orgasm. She let go of her pussy folds and held on to my head. I felt her pussy pulsating as she held me tightly to her.

I climbed between her legs and held them up with the help of my shoulders. I guided my oh so hard member into her waiting pulsating love tunnel. I pushed it in to the hilt as deep and far as humanly possible and ground my pelvis against hers. She was pushing up to meet me. It felt so good just like old times when we first got married. I reached down and caressed her breasts. I wanted it to last an eternity but knew it would only be a few minutes till we both came in huge orgasms at the same time. This was my best in years. After climaxing in her I rolled to the side and put my arm across her mid-section and went to sleep.




Reflections



When I awoke the next morning she was already up and making coffee. I could see she had already taken a shower. I grabbed some clean clothes and took a shower also.

After the shower, I talked to her to tell her how wonderful it was. She smiled and said she loved it too but she went further than she meant to. I tried to explain to her that I loved her and being with her but I could feel something wasn't quite right. I now feel it was the start of her medical downfall. Somewhere somehow she knew something was happening to her. I believe that's why she gave herself so completely that night. I really do believe that.

Chapter 2: Mary's sickness and starting over.

Life after that night brought us closer. Not sexually but caring and sharing. She wanted to travel a number of places and we usually took the grandchildren with us. When our kids went on vacation we went along in our own car to where the kids were going. Mary wanted to be around family. We all spent our vacations together the last few years. That's when Mary told me she wasn't feeling very well. When we got back home from one of our trips I took her to the doctor and he discovered tumors. I think she knew. In fact I think she knew for awhile.

They took a biopsy and found it to be malignant. They started chemotherapy immediately. I asked if an operation would help and the doctor said they could give it a try but he wasn't very optimistic. I asked Mary what she thought, since it was her that was going through all the pain and getting nauseated from the chemo. She said she didn't want to be cut open unless the doctors could give her enough hope to make it worth all the pain and suffering she would have to endure.

The doctor took the two of us in his office and explained the problem to us. The cancer had spread throughout Mary's system. If they did surgery on her it would probably spread even faster. There really wasn't much hope other than the tumors shrinking from the chemo. Mary chose to go out peacefully. She did the chemo to help with some of the pain and the doctor gave her morphine for the numbing of the pain. I cried over and over again. Mary was the strong one. She kept telling me she was going to a better place where there would be no pain, no hurting and no suffering. She died at home in her bed with me at her side holding her hand.

After the funeral I went into the church and screamed at God. "Why, God? Why Mary? She loved you and now she's dead. You were suppose to take me, not Mary," as I knelt on my knees and cried. 

Then I heard an inner voice speaking to me. I jumped up and turned around but I was all alone. Then I knelt down again and heard the voice again. 

"Ed, Mary is now in a much better place. She will never suffer again, no more pain. She has total peace. I didn't honor your request because it wasn't for Mary's sake. It was for your own selfishness. You didn't want to go through the pain and suffering of losing a loved one like Mary. You were willing to put Mary though it. If I would have taken you first then Mary would have suffered even more by being alone. She's happy and in total peace now, Ed. Mary is home."

What the hell was that? Did I hear it, think it or dream it? All I know is a calm came over me knowing that Mary was now free from pain. The voice was right. My decision to want to die first was my own selfishness. I got up and walked out of the church.

Life from that day forward was very lonely for me. My kids, God bless them, were there for me. They visited as often as they could. Mary and I raised some great kids. They all married decent caring people. I know they felt the loss of Mary as much as I did. She was their mother and mother. Mary never complained about the kids' spouses. She always said, "They picked them and they have to live with them.

The women in the family came over and sorted all of Mary's personal things. I told them to take anything they wanted. Mary had made a list of any special items she wanted to give everyone. They took whatever clothes fit them and gave the rest to the Salvation Army. That left me with a house without the feminine items you see in most houses. 

After about six months and getting all Mary's affairs in order and the joint stuff like the cars, house and all personal items in my name, I had decided to sell the house. The loneliness of coming home to an empty house each night that we shared was painful to me. I called a realtor in the neighborhood and asked her about pricing and the legal aspects of selling the house. She told me that she could make an appointment to come over and appraise the property and answer any of my questions. I agreed and we made an appointment for the following Wednesday.

I talked to my kids - I call them kids even though they are all grown men and women because I think of them as my kids. Anyway I talked to them about selling the house. It held too many memories and I was always coming home to it and it always saddened me. They all agreed with me and thought I needed a change. They even thought I should date. According to them I was young enough to still enjoy life. I asked them about the time constraints you hear about after a death? 

My oldest son said, "Dad, we all know you loved mom. We also know that you are lonely and it hurts all of us to see you this way. You're sixty-one years old. Why would you want to wait to enjoy life. You might not have that many years left yourself." He smiled knowing I would take his last remark with a grain of salt, but there was some truth to it. 

I told all my family that I would take the dating under advisement. I also mentioned that someone was coming over to appraise the property. I would have to think exactly where I would want to move to. I would want to stay in the near area to see the kids and grandkids.

On Wednesday a young lady knocked on the door. She said she was from Allen Realtors Inc. She said her name was Betty Huff. I introduced myself as Ed Alford and told her that my wife had passed away almost a year ago and I thought it was time to move on. There were too many memories here. I know I had a tear in my eye while talking to this young lady. She touched my hand and said she was sorry. She had lost her dad going on two years.

Betty looked so familiar. She told me she was thirty-two years old, married - very happily, she added - and that she had two wonderful kids. Her husband was the manager of the local grocery store. I couldn't get over how familiar she looked. 

She went ahead and did her job very professionally but yet was very personable. She was really nice to talk to. She answered a lot of my questions and said she needed to get back to the office and figure out the best plan for selling the house. She complemented me on how beautifully it was decorated and kept up. I told her that was all Mary's doing. Now I just tried to maintain it till I could get it sold. She told me a good real estate selling tip was to not change the decorating or give any of the furniture away till the house was sold. Right then it was a home with all the things that people think about when wanting to buy a house. If I were to remove the furniture then it would look like a house and I probably wouldn't get as much out of it.

I thanked her for the tip and told her I wouldn't touch a thing. She said she would get in touch with me in a couple of days and we could go over the figures. I told her that would be fine and she left.

I received a call from her on Friday. She asked me if it would be possible for me to come to the office. They had the figures ready for me and I would have to sign a few consent forms before they could go further. I told her I would be there in a couple of hours. After hanging up I decided to go get a shower and cleaned up a little, put on some cologne and dressed a little better. My kids always said I dressed like an old man. Mary had bought me some new Dockers and shirts but I hardly ever wore them. I always liked to dress in clothes that I was familiar with. I put on the Dockers and a pull-over type shirt. I looked in the mirror and thought I looked pretty nifty.

I headed to the realtor's office. I spotted an Allen Realtors sign and parked in their side drive. I walked in and was greeted by Betty. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Alford, glad you could make it," she said as she gave me a real smile, not one of those phony ones.

"Just call me Ed. I know I'm an old man to you but it at least would make me feel a bit younger."

"Then Ed it is. Please sit down. Would you like a cup of coffee."

"Please, and thank you. Black if you don't mind."

I was sipping my coffee when I heard a voice. "Eddie? Eddie Alford, is it really you?"

I turned and there stood Paula. Forty one years later and to me she hadn't changed a bit. Of course she had changed but in my heart where I put that memory of her, it came to life. I could have spotted her anywhere. I jumped up and almost spilled my coffee. I reached for her and with tears in my eyes I hugged her, I really hugged her. I must have held her for what seemed like a minute when I heard Betty say, "Mom, is this the Eddie you told me about?"

"Yes, honey, it is. I haven't seen him in over forty-two years and here he shows up in our office." She was teary eyed also.

I was semi-speechless, it was such a surprise to see her after all these years. "Is this your business, Paula?" I asked.

"Yes, it is, Eddie. My husband and I started it about thirty years ago. I don't know what Betty told you about the business. My husband - Betty's father - passed away two years ago. If it wasn't for Betty, there wouldn't be a business. She's been my rock and has held everything together for the past two years," as she hugged her daughter.

"Eddie, I had no idea when she mentioned a client was coming in this morning that it was you. I was taken aback so much when I saw you. Well, Eddie, do we talk old times or business first?"

"Paula, I want to sell my house. My wife passed away last year and I'm trying to move on. There is no doubt that it will be your firm to handle the sale. Tell me what we need to do. I'll sign the papers and then, if Betty doesn't mind, I would like to take her mother out to lunch for a few hours."

Betty handed me some papers to sign and told me that we would be asking for approximately two hundred fifty thousand dollars and had a few people lined up to see the place. I handed her an extra set of keys and asked her permission to take her mother to lunch.

"Permission granted, Ed, take care of mom. She needs a little fun in her life. I'll talk to you two when you get back , if you make it back today," she laughed.

Paula smiled and hugged her daughter. "Are you sure, honey?" she asked.

"Go, mom, enjoy your lunch. Don't hurry back." She was smiling.

We headed for a nice restaurant and asked for a booth near the back of the restaurant. We wanted to be away from everyone as we discussed old times. I asked if she wanted anything to drink and she asked for white wine, so when the waiter came I ordered a bottle. Paula smiled and asked if I was going to try and get her drunk. I smiled back and told her if I have to.

Paula said, "After that date we had together I knew I loved you for sure. I felt it and was hoping you would call me, but you never did."

I interrupted her and said, "Paula, I tried to call a number of times. Every time I called your parents kept telling me you weren't allowed to see me. In fact the last time your dad said if I didn't stop calling he would call the phone company and tell them I was harassing them."

"I didn't know, Eddie. I just felt hurt and then we moved away. Mom and dad rented the house we were living in and they found a bigger house, so we moved. You went off to school and that was pretty much the end of it. I went to the local community college and that's when I started to learn about real estate. I received a degree and started working for one of the local agencies.

I found out from your cousin about a year later that you had gotten married. He mentioned that you had moved to another city. I felt hurt even though it had been about two years then. I wanted to throw a little jab at you so I sent you an anniversary card and signed it ygmf - You got Married First."

"So it was you who sent those cards. We received them for six years. I always thought Mary sent them and she thought I did. The other ones were signed different," I replied.

"The second through the sixth year of your anniversary I signed it MFL, for My first love. It wasn't to cause trouble but my little way of dealing with my loss of you.

After that I had met my husband Ray. He was a realtor also, so eventually we got married and had a wonderful daughter and we started our own agency. We do a really good business. We have six other agents beside Betty. Eventually we had hoped to give the business to Betty and maybe do a little traveling. Ray had a stroke and died in his sleep. I woke up one morning and he wasn't breathing. It turned my world upside down.

I loved Ray. He was a really good man and father. We had a lot in common and also worked well together. We were married thirty-three years before he passed away. The last two years have been rather hard and lonely for me." cried Paula.

Paula continued, "Betty has been the backbone of the business since then. She's the one that has been taking care of most everything. I sign a few papers being the president but my heart hasn't been in it.

I have always had a spot for you in my heart Eddie. When we made love that one time I meant it that I really wanted you to be the first one. I don't know how many times in my life I thought about that night and I know if I had to do it all over again I would still want it to be you."

"Eddie, do you think we can be friends? I'm in dire need of a good friend. I know it may seem silly to you that after forty plus years I still have a crush on you, but I do. I knew it the minute I saw you in the office. I loved Ray. He was a wonderful husband and I would have never done anything to jeopardize my relationship with him. I gave my all to my marriage and I will always love him but I also have had this spot in my heart for you too. I don't know how to explain it but it is there."

Wow, there it was. Paula told me all about her past and I know she is waiting for a response from me. I have to tell her the truth. Let the cards fall where they may.

"Paula, I really did try to call you but your parents wouldn't let me talk to you. When I came back home from college you had moved and no one knew where to. There is something about the heart. When you have a memory of someone you have loved it is stored in it's own compartment forever. Life goes on and we love others as well and they also have their compartments in the heart. I loved my wife Mary very much just as you loved your husband Ray. They both have compartments in our hearts and will be there forever. Forty plus years ago you filled a compartment in my heart also. When I saw you today the door to that compartment opened up and my feelings are coming out. That is about the best I can explain it. Yes, I want us to be friends and maybe even more. Let's see how it goes and then we can go on from there." I leaned across the table and gave Paula a kiss.

"Paula, what does Betty know about me? I heard her say, 'Is that the Eddie you talked about?'"

"I was always honest with Betty. She asked me about having sexual relations with Ryan and I told her that it wasn't up to the body to make that decision but the heart. If in your heart you truly love him then follow your heart. If it's hormones talking then wait for the heart. She asked me about my first time and I told her it was with my first love. I didn't tell her it was on the back seat of your car. She asked me who it was and I told her it was you, Eddie. We've talked about it a couple of other times. That's how she knew you."

We finished our lunch and went back to her office. Betty was there and asked how it went. I told her that her mom and I wanted to remain close friends. Betty said in that case I was invited to her house on Sunday for a barbecue. I would get a chance to meet her husband Ryan and her kids. I told her it would be an honor to be there and asked if she wanted me to bring anything. She told me to just show up around noon.

I went home a lot happier than I had been in a long time. It was like a second chance at love. Yes, I loved Mary but she was gone now and to see Paula again made me feel good. I showed up Sunday but not empty handed. I brought two bouquets of flowers. One for Betty and one for Paula. I brought Ryan a fifth of Jack Daniels. I entered and Betty greeted me and I handed her one of the bouquet of flowers. She smiled and even gave me a peck on the cheek as a thank you. Then Paula came up and I handed her the other bouquet of flowers. She thanked me but her peck was on my lips and it wasn't a peck but a nice soft kiss.

I walked in and Paula introduced me to Ryan who was at the grill. I showed him the fifth of JD and set it on the table. I was then introduced to two kids who were probably pre-teen. They said hi respectfully and then went back about their business.

I decided to talk to Ryan while the girls got the food, other than the grill meat, set on the patio table. Ryan said he hadn't seen Paula this happy in a few years. He did say to me that he hoped I wasn't out to play Paula. She was a great mother and he would hate to see her hurt. I let him know that my feelings for her were real but we had to see where they would lead.

Paula came over to me and asked me to come meet someone. There was an elderly lady sitting by the table. She introduced her as her mother. "Mom, do you remember Eddie from our old neighborhood a long time ago."

I said, "Hello, Mrs. Osborn. I don't know if you remember me but..."

She interrupted me, "I remember you. You were that young man that was always chasing after Paula. I owe you an apology son. Paula's dad didn't like boys coming around or calling the girls and I remember you kept calling to talk to Paula and her dad said he was going to call the police on you. I was embarrassed and was afraid to say anything. We never told Paula you called."

My God, what a memory for an older lady. She must be at least eighty-seven. Paula looked at me and at her mom and exclaimed, "My God, Eddie! You really did call. Mom's memory isn't very good. She can tell you what happened fifty years ago but doesn't know what she had for breakfast this morning. I should be mad at her for not telling me but that was a long, long time ago and she is my mother. She stays in the local nursing home but whenever we have a family doing we always pick her up."

"Young man? Eddie," I turned to Mrs. Osborn and she said, "You can date Paula now. Her father passed away and I don't mind if you take her out." 

I thanked her and said I was glad because I did want to date her daughter. Paula and I both smiled, and wondered how different life would have been if they would have let us date over forty years ago.

I'm rambling again, sorry for that. Paula and I started dating and my house was up for sale. Betty asked me about the home furnishings. Did I want to keep them or sell them. I told her I never thought much about it but I was trying to change my life and thought about selling everything. Betty suggested an auction and I could put the house up for sale in it also with a minium bid. That's what we decided to do. We set the auction up for a month later. Betty said she had a crew that would come in and do all the packing for me. I should be there to pull out anything I didn't want sold.

I talked to my kids about things they might want. At first I told them I would give it to them but then decided to do it differently so there wouldn't be any arguments among the families. I explained to them that everything I owned was half mine and half their mothers, even though it was mine now. I was going to take half the money I made in the auction and divide it three ways between my three children. Anything they bought during the auction would be deducted from their share, but they were getting it for half price.




Reflections



Everyone was happy with that. We owned a piano and one of the kids ended up purchasing it among other things. All the family bought different items for keep sakes or stuff they needed.

The house was also auctioned off. It sold for Two hundred seventy five thousand dollars and with the furnishings we grossed over three hundred thousand dollars. I gave each family of my kids fifty thousand dollars minus their purchases. I paid Betty's company out of my share. Everyone did well. I told my kids that was their inheritance from their mother. I expected to live on my half.

I had to start looking for a place to live after I sold the house and Paula said she would help me. She took me to a nice condo. We walked in and it was beautiful. Nicely decorated and I saw her picture on the mantle. "This is your place, isn't it, Paula?"

"Yes, Eddie, and there is room for you here also, only there is one catch."

"What might that be Paula? Before you answer I have another question for you." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a ring. Before I could even say anything Paula was crying. I asked her if she could stop crying for a moment so I could get this out as I had tears in my eyes also. 

"Paula, we're not getting any younger and I don't want to be alone anymore. I know we have both lost loved ones who could never be replaced. I'm not here to replace your husband nor for you to replace Mary. I believe I have enough room and love in my heart for both of you. I'm not a perfect man and never will be but I promise you if you marry me I will do everything in my power to make you happy. So with all that said, 'Paula, will you be my wife for the rest of our lives?"

Paula was in full-fledged tears by then as she told me yes, she would marry me. I then asked her what the one catch was she spoke of and she slapped me.

Conclusion:

We contacted Betty and Ryan and told them the good news. They were really happy for Paula. She had been through so much loneliness the last couple of years. My kids were happy as well. As my oldest son said, I wasn't getting any younger and it was nice to know I found someone to spend my final years with.

Paula gave full control of the agency to Betty. She did draw a salary from it. Actually she was selling the business to Betty and was being paid for the business in monthly payments. I moved my stuff, what I had left into Paula's condo. Now it was our condo, our home.

Paula and I were married within a month and had a small party at the restaurant with all our family members present. We told them that we decided to travel. We would go for about a week at a time and always be back to see them and the grandkids. Our families meant a lot to both of us. 

I told Paula that we needed a heart to heart talk about our previous spouses. We didn't want to be comparing our former spouses because it was me and her starting over. Paula told me she did have to ask one question about Mary. Something she really needed to know.

"Okay, Paula, I'll answer it as best I can."

"Eddie, was Mary a good cook?"

"She was a great cook, Paula. There was nothing she couldn't broil, boil, bake, fry, or grill. Why did you ask me that?"

"Because it looks like we will be eating out a lot."

I smiled and told her that Mary wasn't much on making love to me in the last few years.

She smiled at me and said, "I promise you I will do my very best in that department."

I told Paula, "I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was." As we headed for the bedroom.

I was going to tell you all about our love making and how great it was, but Paula said the readers don't care about two old people fucking their brains out. She is probably right but to us it was fantastic. We may have not done it as often but we sure made love longer. Paula was right, she never held anything back.

Paula smiled at me and asked about our first time together. Do I remember what she had said?

I told her I did She said, "I'm doing this because I love you, Eddie. I need you to know this. I want my first time to be with you. I wish we could be together forever until death do us part but only time will tell."

She smiled at me and said, "My wish came true. Life is good!"

Hope you enjoyed my story.

Comments always welcome.

DG Hear



Reflections



This is a true story, that happened to someone I know. Wherever possible the words are hers, exactly as she told them to me.

****************

It was during college, about my second semester there. There was a girl there, her name was Rhonda. She was the opposite of me in almost every way--she had long black hair and dark eyes, very dark skinned, and short. She was very pretty. We were quite the contrast, quite the pair, her dark and me light--we looked good together.

We became good friends very quickly. She was single, and I would go over to her place and we would study together. It was usually too noisy at mine.

We had been friends for about six months when my kids went to their Dad's and my husband at the time was out of town. She called and asked if I wanted to come over and drink daiquiris and watch movies with her. So I jumped in my car and took off for a girls' night.

Well, I got there and everything was fine. What I have left out here, is that in these six months there was like a sexual tension between us. Looking back it seems obvious now, and even then I think we both knew it, but neither of us acted on it. I guess I'd always wondered what it would be like to be with a woman, but never enough to do anything about it.

So we were in her kitchen--real small, it was an apartment--and I reached across her to grab the glasses for the daiquiris. And when I did I brushed against her, and it was so weird, like electricity. It took me by surprise. She looked at me but I looked away. I remember thinking, 'I should leave.'

Instead I went on about getting the glasses and acted normal. I think. She only had the one couch in her apartment and then a small chair, which was really uncomfortable. So we were both sitting on the couch, had a blanket over us, drinking daiquiris and kind of talking and watching the movie at the same time. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I did she asked if I had brought any sleepwear. I had on my jeans and shirt, and told her no, that I had left in a hurry and hadn't even thought about it.

So she followed me back towards the bathroom, and when I came out she was in her bedroom and going through her drawers. She called me in there and gave me this shirt to put on to sleep in. I was still in her room when she reached up and she pulled her shirt off, changing. I was standing in front of the mirror of her dresser and could see her. And I tried to look away, I swear I did. But I couldn't. She reached back and undid her bra, and my mouth fell open. She had small breasts, not big at all, but still so sexy.

She turned and saw me looking at her. She smiled at me and I started blushing like crazy. Then she said, "You can change in here too, I don't mind." 

I froze, must have been for at least ten seconds. I guess she realized I was a little uncomfortable, so she slipped out of her jogging pants and she had on just her panties. I kept looking at her and she turned her back to me. Her hair was down her back and she looked so sexy, I swear I was pouring. She bent over and picked up her clothes off the floor, said the shirt she wanted to wear was in the laundry room, and she left.

So I stood there. Damn I was hot, flustered. But I pulled off my shirt, then undid my jeans and slid them off. I'd sat down on the bed, away from the door but still looking in the mirror. And as I reached to undo my bra, she came in and met my eyes in the mirror. Then I saw her look down. I didn't want to act like I was a prude, after all she had just undressed in front of me. So I started undoing my bra. But my hands were shaking and I swear I couldn't get the hooks undone. I sat there for a few seconds trying desperately, and I had just started to just slide the straps down my shoulders and take it off that way, when I felt the bed give in behind me.

Her hands reached out, and she touched me and said, "Need some help there, Jen?" I don't know what I said, if I said anything. I just remember her hands on me. And she took and unhooked my bra. I was just staring in the mirror and she looked at me. Then like slow motion or something, she started sliding the straps down my arms, and oh god, I was just dying.

As she slid it off my arms, my hands came up to cover my breasts. But she slid the bra on down, which forced my hands down too. I was shaking so hard. My hands were still down by my side, the bra over them. And then she just leaned in, and she kissed me on my shoulder.

My first reaction was to get up. But then I looked at her in the mirror as she was kissing my shoulder. And all I could see were her eyes. We stared forever, felt like hours, then she slid the bra the rest of the way off my arms and she dropped it on the bed.

I knew then that she was going to make love to me. And I did nothing. I sat there like an idiot, wasn't sure if I wanted it to happen or not. I was petrified but excited at the same time. Her hands were on me again, rubbing up and down my arms. I was still looking at her as she leaned in and started kissing me on the shoulders again, then down my spine. She disappeared from the mirror, licking down my spine now, and I don't think I have ever been more turned on in my life. I felt her hands leave my arms and slide around my stomach, and she just rubbed very lightly at my stomach, moaning softly.

I was trembling. I had to make a decision, but I didn't know what I wanted. I was scared I would like it, her touch on me was incredible. She sat back up and looked at me in the mirror again, raised her eyebrows very slowly, almost couldn't tell she had done it. As she did this her right hand inched up towards my breast, and she kept looking at me, waiting I think for permission to touch me there. And I swear at that very moment I wanted her to do it so badly, but I didn't know how to tell her.

So I just watched as her hand crept up some more and she lowered her head, kissing the top of my shoulder, then my neck. And then, oh my god, her fingers brushed the bottom of my breast. And it was wonderful, the sensation that shot through me. I sat still, as still as I could, wanting to see what it would feel like for her hands to be on my breasts. As I looked at her in the mirror, I remember looking down at her hand, and she smiled at me. She knew then.

She took her hand and lightly cupped my breast, her eyes never leaving mine, and I think I drenched my panties and her bed right then. Then I felt her thumb circling my nipple and the electricity shot through my body. I moaned out loud and that was all she needed. She rolled my nipple--oh god, only the way a woman can I think--and pulled at it as her other hand inched down to the top of my panties. I was so hot and I wanted it now, so badly. Then she just turned my head towards her and she kissed me very gently on the lips, while her hand slid inside my panties.

I could feel her hand on my mound, kneading me gently. At the same time, she opened my mouth, slid her tongue inside and began French kissing me. So different from a man, not hungrily, very softly yet so sensuous.

I kissed her back. I didn't care any more what I thought was right or wrong. I only knew I wanted this. She slid her hand deeper into my panties and pulled away from my mouth. Then she whispered, "Spread your legs for me."

And I did. I spread them open really wide, I wanted to feel her hands on me. And oh my god, what she did with her hands, I can't explain it. It's like a woman knows where to touch a woman and how.

She slid her hand down past my clit, but she stopped and pinched my clit, moving down and she slid her finger inside me. She pushed way up, up towards my g-spot, and then she began to rub. I was pouring and moaning so loudly, so was she. Her other hand was rolling my nipple and I thought I was dying from the sensation, I just couldn't catch my breath.

And then she laid me back on the bed, and I knew it was going to happen. But I was okay with it, almost totally calm by then. I remember her laying down beside me, her finger still inside me, rubbing at just the right spot. I could feel my clit moving on the outside from her rubbing on the inside. Then she leaned down and licked at my nipple, circled it then sucked my nipple between her lips and, oh god, sucked in and out on it.

She sat up, and got off the bed. Her fingers caught the sides of my panties, and she was kissing up my thighs. Then she slid my panties off. And I started freaking a little, and sat up and stared at her. I got really scared, I'd never had anything like this happen before. So she came back up on the bed--we never spoke, just looked at one another--and she bent down and begin sucking my nipple again. And god she could suck, gentle nibbles then a harder bite, then sucking in and out.

Her hand slid back down between my legs, and she reached under and lifted my right knee up. I pulled up my other one and she pushed gently, spreading my legs wide, and then her hand laid on my mound, kneading gently. It felt wonderful. She leaned in and started kissing me again, while her finger pulled back on the hood of my clit. She touched it, very softly, and then began rubbing with just the right amount of pressure. Not too light, not too hard, kneading my mound at the same time, causing all kinds of sensations to shoot through me.

Then she broke the kiss and I remember thinking, 'Should I be doing something to her?' But I couldn't move. I just lay there as she pushed her finger back inside me, and she started kissing down my stomach, shifting down the bed until she was laying between my legs. Then she spread my legs further, and her tongue reached out, until it touched my clit...

And the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang.

It was her mom. Her mom was hollering through the door, "Rhonda? You there? It's Momma."

She got up in a hurry and we dressed. I went to the living room and she went to the door, and let her mom in. Her mom ended up staying and watching the movie with us. I left after the movie, felt like I had to. 

We saw each other all the time after that. We never spoke of it, still haven't to this day. We are still friends, she lives about an hour from me. Sometimes when she calls me I want to ask her to come over. But I know what would happen. And I don't know if I want that. I think about it sometimes, and like now the sensations are there. The desire. I have fantasies about her a lot. But I guess I'm afraid. She is married now, has two little boys. But I can hear in her voice that she still remembers.


I remember it like it was yesterday. I think about it, but mostly I think about her. She told me she loved me in my ear, very quietly. I barely heard her. I can still remember her eyes looking in mine through the mirror. And I remember her tongue on my clit. Just that one touch of the tip of her tongue, and I almost orgasmed. I was so turned on. And I think about the fact that if her mom had not shown up, I would have been made love to for the first time by a woman.



Reflections



Hi, my name is Jack, I am in my early fifties and I just got back from my father's funeral I don't know why but in times like this it seems it is common for some one to sit back and reflect on their life. I have to be totally honest here, I think I'm a professional failure. I have been fired three times in my life, All three times because they didn't think I did the job up to their standard. Why my wife Kathy has stayed with me all this time I don't know. During the eighties when the economy was booming all over the country it seemed I was stuck in one of those pockets that experienced negative growth. It was during that time I finally understood my grandfather. He was a mean bitter drunk, when he had to stop drinking because he had a heart attack and a stroke in the fifties he was just plain mean and bitter. During the eighties when it was almost impossible for me to find work I finally understood why he was that way. My grandfather was a young adult in the thirties during the depression years he could never find any steady work. From personal experience I came to understand how that affects a man. Depending on your wife to bring home the paycheck. Unlike my grand father I was determined not to become mean and bitter or a drunk. Don't get me wrong I like my beer but I keep it under strict control. 

When I was growing up my parents were very concerned about outward appearances. You know what the neighbor's, their coworkers and personal acquaintances would think. Today we would say they were pretty vanilla people. We went on the family vacations out west like every one did when I was young. My dad did teach me how to compete. Not in the usual way of little league and school sports. I did not have that opportunity as a kid because I got really sick and as a result could never pass the physical exam you had to take to participate in those activities. He did it by teaching me first how to ride my bicycle when I was four, when I was eleven he taught me how to ride a motorcycle on a Harley Davidson Topper Scooter. Yeah my dad rode motorcycles but he rode the big Harleys and Triumphs in the 50's and 60's and he was very good at it. If mom had let him compete in the local races he would have had a pro license with out a doubt. 

When I was 11 my parent's moved to a different town, we lived out in the country on a small acreage and we bought some horses. That is when my dad cultured my completive spirit by teaching me how to ride and train the animals we bought. They were not fancy pedigreed animals by any means but the were good horses and on the weekends we would take them out to the local saddle club competions and show them. 

After High School I went to State College. I think college is easier today because kids today use computers. Shit we had no such thing back them. Pocket calculators have just come out and we thought we were high tech with them in chemistry and math classes. When it came to writing we wrote in on paper just like we did in grade school. If it had to be typed we went out and either bought a cheap portable or we rented one. Lord help you if you made a mistake. The first year was pretty hard I made a couple of friends but to be honest none of them were young women. I satisfied my carnal urges by masturbating to fantasies from Penthouse Letters magazine. To be honest up to that point in my life I only had sex twice in my life. Both times was with a girl and both times was in the back seat of my car and we were drunk at the time. Today I could not call them satisfying experiences.

One of my turning points in life is when I met Kathy during my sophomore year in college. I was in the cafeteria and She was sitting by herself at a table and none of my friends were down so I decided to ask her if I could sit with her. I will be honest here she was not what you would call model material, in fact she was just the opposite in that she weighed in at 260lb with huge tits but she was friendly, out going and real easy to talk to. Most of all she could hold up her end of the conversation. After that first meeting we ate all of our meals together. 

The following Friday night my best friend Donny came over to my room. Donny, Kathy and I smoked a couple of bowls of weed drank some beer and listened to some music. Around one o'clock Donny went back to his room and Kathy stayed and we talked some more. During one of the lulls in the conversation I leaned over and kissed her. Then I kissed her again and then I stuck my tongue in her mouth and moved it around in circles. Kathy's response surprised me in that she did not resist in fact she seemed to encourage it so I went further and started to rub her back then I fondled her breast though her top. Then I got brave I reached under her tee shirt and felt her breast through her bra then I pulled her tee shirt off and kissed and licked her neck and she started to moan so I fumbled with her bra strap and undid her bra and took it off. Then I went down and licked and sucked both of her nipples till they got hard. I stuck my right hand in her shorts and started to rub her pussy. I felt it get wet and slick then I took her shorts off and I got out of bed and took my clothes off and got on top of her and put my cock inside of her. I started pumping my cock in and out of her pussy at first hugging and kissing her then I sped up and came inside of her pussy deeply kissing her as I came. I stayed on top of her for a couple of minutes kissing and thanking her for a great experience. We did it two more times that night before we went to sleep in each other's arms. In the morning we had sex again and then she went back to her room to do home work. The sex was great that night but I wanted more. I wanted to experience what I read about in Penthouse Letters my dilemma was how do you bring something like that up and not look like a total creep. Little by little I was beginning to find out Kathy was almost as adventurous about sex as I was. We were beginning to try different positions and we even started to have oral sex with each other but each time we talked I got the feeling she was holding something back. I know I surely was, lets face it those letters in Penthouse really turned me on. It got to the point I could not wait for the next edition to come out but deep down I new most of those letters were just pure bullshit. Come on now nobody does that stuff in real life and nobody can get that lucky. Besides normal people don't do that kind of stuff let alone think about it. My private fantasies were making me feel extremely guilty and ashamed of my self.

The biggest turning point in my life came a month after I met Kathy. Her and Donny needed to go home for the weekend because of family commitments. In Donny's case I think it was because he was hoping to get lucky so to speak. That left me alone on campus, about eight o'clock on Friday I decided I just as well go home to. So I packed up my dirty laundry and a few clothes along with my homework and I headed home. I got home around ten thirty. When I arrived there was another car in the driveway it belonged to John my father's best friend. From what I understand they have been friends since before my mom and dad got married. I went strait in to the house and dropped my dirty laundry off in the kitchen and took the rest of my things to my room. I noticed there wasn't anyone up stairs. I went back down to the kitchen to pick up my dirty laundry and drop it off in the laundry room in the basement. 

You cannot believe how surprised I was when I got to the bottom of the stairs where I found my parents and their friend John in the rec room. They were all naked with my dad on his knees sucking off his friend John and my mom was sitting beside him giving him encouragement. My parents had their back turned to me and John had his eyes closed and moaning in ecstasy as my dads head bobbed up and down I could not tell from this angle if my dad was sucking his cock or licking and jacking him off at the same time. Mom was telling dad to suck his cock, suck him harder, faster, and make him come in your mouth. I was frozen in my tracks. I took a couple of steps closer so I could see what they were really doing. I know I probably shouldn't have done that but curiosity got the better of me. Sure enough my dad was sucking his friends cock. He was bobbing his head up and down on it, every once in a while he would take it out of his mouth and lick it up and down paying particular attention to the and the area just behind the head, then he would start sucking it again. Once I saw him take it out of his mouth and he licked and sucked on John's nuts for a little bit then he went back to sucking John's cock. 

Then John started to pump his cock in and out of my dad's mouth when mom saw that she said, "Yeah that's right fuck his mouth, fuck it hard, come on lets see you come in his mouth, yeah fill his mouth with come." 

John then tensed up and said, "I'm getting close, get ready here it comes." then he tensed up and grunted and thrust his cock deeper in my dad's mouth and grunted three or four more times as he filled my dad's mouth with his come.

Mom got real close to dad's face and said, "Yeah that's right baby take it, take it like a man and swallow all of his come. You know you like it, that is why you sucked him so hard now swallow all his come."

John then opened his eyes and looked directly at me then he said with shock, "Oh my God!" 

My parents turned around and looked at me. Both had a look of shock on their face. Then I saw them look at my crotch, it was then I realized I had one of the biggest erections in my life. Now I was embarrassed and dropped my dirty laundry on the rec-room floor and went directly to my room. 

When I got to my room I picked out one of my Penthouse Letters Magazine and opened it to my favorite section, boys/boys girls/girls and pulled my jeans and underwear down and started to scan the section and I noticed a story I have not read before. It was about two guys who were reading porn together and one dared the other when he said, "Hey man why don't you try and suck your own dick." The other guy then one took all his clothes off and laid down on the floor and raised his legs up and over till his dick was pointed at his mouth while his friend pressed down on his ass trying to get his dick close to his mouth. They could only get his dick about six inches away from his mouth and he stuck his tongue out to try and lick the tip. Failing to do that his friend said, "Why don't you jack off into your mouth instead?" He started to jack his cock while his friend held him steady and after a few minutes he felt his orgasm build up and he opened his mouth and came in it. He then got up and swallowed his own come while his friend looked at him and said, "Wow." Then his friend pointed at his cock and said, "Why don't you try some directly from the source?" and he bent down and sucked his friend's cock and swallowing his come also. 

I looked down at my own cock while I was slowly stroking it and figured why not. So I took off my clothes and lay in my bed naked and raised my legs up over my head like in the story and started to jack off. When I felt my orgasm build up I opened my mouth and shot about half of my load in it with the other half landing around my mouth. I then lowered my legs and sat up to swallow when I saw my mom standing in my bedroom watching me. She now had a robe on from what I could tell there was nothing underneath it. When I looked at her she just smiled and walked towards my bed and sat next to me and said, "Your dad was worried you might be mad or upset so I came up here to check on you."

I started to wipe my come off of my face and mom raised her hand and said, "Leave it there."

I then said, "No I'm not mad or upset just a little shocked is all."

Mom then asked, "Why should you be shocked most men do that every once in awhile. Haven't you sucked off your friends?"

I looked at my mom and shook my head no, she then looked at the magazine I was reading and saw the type of stories I was looking at and said, "You want to don't you Jack?" 

I really didn't see the reason to lie to her so I nodded my head yes and she asked, "What exactly do you want to try with a man? Do you want to suck his cock like your father does with John?"

Again I nodded my head yes she then said, "Let me go talk to your father and see what he says and we can talk about this later." Mom then leaned over and licked my come off of my face she then asked, "Are you going out tonight to be with your friends?"

"I don't think so, coming home this weekend was kind of a spur of the moment thing so I don't have anything planned for tonight," I replied. Mom then left my room to go down stairs to talk to my dad and his friend John. 

I got my wallet out and looked up Kathy's home phone number I don't know why but I really wanted to talk to her. I dialed her number and young man answered the phone.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi my name is Jack is Kathy there?" I replied.

"She is kind of busy at the moment," he said then I could tell he started to breath a little harder

I then asked, "What is she doing?" 

He was breathing harder now and he replied, "Kathy and her mom are kind of talking."

"Can you tell her that Jack from School wants to talk?" I asked.

"Sure just a minute," He replied. He laid the phone down and I heard him walk off. In the background I was hearing some strange noises and then I heard some footsteps come toward the phone some one picked it up and they said, "Hello this is Kathy."

"Hi Kathy this is Jack how are you doing tonight," I said.

"Hi Jack I'm surprised you called how are you doing?" Kathy said.

"I'm doing ok," I lied, lets face it finding out your parents like to do threesomes with a long time family friend and also finding out the reason they like doing it is because your dad likes to suck cock and swallow come can be a little too much information. Then I asked Kathy. "Do you like being with me?"

There was a pause then she said, "Jack you're the nicest man I know, of course I like seeing you. You're the first person to treat me with respect."

What about the sex? Is there anything that I might have pushed too far?" I asked Kathy.

Kathy replied, "The sex is great you're a good lover Jack you're real gentle with me Jack and I like that a lot."

"Is there anything that we haven't done together that you would like to try?" I asked.

Kathy thought for a moment then she said, "There might be a few things what would you be open to?' 

Now it was my turn to pause then I said, "I really have not had that much experience until I met you. I'm pretty open to suggestions. I would be willing to talk about anything you suggest." 

Then Kathy asked, "Is there anything you would like to try?" 

I thought then I said, "I would like to try a threesome, would you be willing to do that with me."

Kathy asked, "A threesome with you, me and another woman or another man?"

"Which would you prefer?" I asked.

"Two men silly, but I would do one with another woman if you liked," Kathy said. 

Then I asked," Would you have sex with the other woman also?"

"Sure why not it's not like I haven't done that before," Kathy replied. Then she asked, "If we had a threesome with another guy would you have sex with him?"

"I have never done anything like that with a guy, what did you have in mind?" I asked Kathy. 

"I don't know he could suck you, you could suck him, you could fuck each other," Kathy said. 

"Would you like to see me do that?" I asked.

"Yeah I think that would be hot, I'm surprised you have never done that before. Would you do that for me?" Kathy asked

"Let me think on it for a bit, I might have an answer when we both get back to school on Sunday," I replied.

"What would you like to do?" I asked.

There was a pause then I heard some voices in the background Kathy then said, "I really like to watch, when I'm in the shower at school l like to look at other people and I wonder what they like to do. Last year I used to watch my roommate have sex with her boy friend although I don't think they knew it."

Then I closed and said, "I'll see you Sunday when we get back to school." 

Kathy then said, "Ok see you on Sunday."

At the time I thought that was a clever answer aside from my dad and his friend John I didn't know any one who did this. Hell I didn't know there was a gay underground at my campus at the time. So I figured even if I wanted to do it I had a snowballs chance in hell of finding a willing partner. 

Mom came in to my room again; this time she wasn't wearing any clothes. I thought that was kind of unusual. I thought her, John and dad decided to resume their activities and she came up here to ask me to give them some privacy. Mom looked at me and then I realized I was as naked as she was then she said, "I talked to your dad and John about what you would like to do. They would like you to come down stairs and talk it over with them."

"Ok give me a second to put some shorts on and I will be right down," I replied. 

"Don't worry about that they don't have their clothes on either I think they would be more comfortable if you came down the way you are," mom said.

We went down stairs dad and John were sitting on the couch they both had erections and they were stroking their own cocks. Mom sat in the only other chair in the rec room. Dad looked at me and said, "Jack go ahead and sit on the floor." So I sat down on the carpeted floor in front of the couch. Facing dad and John with mom off to the side. 

Then mom asked, "Were you telling me the truth up stairs in your room?" I nodded my head yes. Then mom said, "Look directly at your dad and tell him what you told me you want to do." 

I looked at my dad he was still stroking his cock I never saw it erect before, it was about seven to eight inches long and I said, "Mom asked me if I would like to try sucking a cock to see if I liked it. I told her yes, but I didn't know anyone who would do that with me."

Dad got up off the couch and walked over to me. He stood directly in front of me with his cock just inches in front of my face. I looked up at him and he said, "Now is your opportunity to find out if you like it as much as I do. Go ahead Jack open your mouth and suck your first cock."

Mom then said, "Go ahead Jack your dad has a wonderful cock it would be a good one for your first taste. Open your mouth and take it in after that it gets easier."

I didn't realize it then, now looking back it was one of those life-forming events. On the one hand I new about homosexuals and I vaguely new about their life style. To be honest I saw it as a empty and hollow way to live and I did not want that for my self, I wanted more, I wanted a wife kids and family on one hand. On the other this is something I have been thinking about since I was in junior high. This was something I really needed to try just once to see if I liked it. Besides Kathy just told me she would like to see me do this and I told her I would give her an answer Sunday. Honestly this was not an ideal situation. Lets face it this was my dad with his hard on just a couple of inches from my mouth and I thought what the hell a cock is a cock and I want to finally have a first time. So I grabbed my dad's hard cock and pulled it into my mouth and I heard my mom say. "Oh my god he is really going to do it."

I then started to jack him off with my right hand while I held my self steady with my left hand on his leg while I went up and down with my mouth and licking and swirling my tongue around the shaft and head. Dad started to moan a little saying my god he is doing a great job. To be honest I really started to get into it and decided if dad came I was going to take it all in my mouth. 

I started to pick up my effort in sucking harder and faster. With that my dad started to moan louder and his dick started to jump around a little in my mouth with each stroke of my tongue and lips. I was enjoying the feeling I was getting from that. Then dad started to thrust his hips in a labored movement like he was doing some kind of exercise then he let out a loud grown on one final thrust and half filled my mouth on the first spurt, the second spurt almost filled it and on the third I had his come running down my chin. When dad stopped coming I looked up at him and swallowed his load in three swallows. To be honest the taste of come is something of a acquired taste like beer, except it is just on this side of disgusting. On the whole it was something I found extremely pleasurable 




Reflections



I looked over at John sitting on the couch and I moved between his legs and stroked his cock a few times and looked over at my mom she gave me a approving look and I looked back at John's cock and leaned forward and put it into my mouth. Like with my dad I started to bob up and down on it working the shaft and head with my tongue, every so often sucking and licking on his balls. His cock started to dance around in my mouth like my dad's did so I knew I was getting him close and I doubled my efforts in bobbing my head up and down on it and sucking harder then I felt it swell up and John let out a grunt and he shot three spurts of come directly into my mouth not nearly as much as my dad did but it was a good amount. John's dick went soft in my mouth and I with drew it and looked up at John and swallowed it down. Then I said, "Wow I had no idea it would be like this."

Dad then asked, "How did you like it Jack, is this something you would like to do again?

"Yeah I think so but I have no idea how to find some one who would be interested in this. Most of the guys I know shout out from the roof tops I'm strait."

John then said, "That is not surprising, you will find a lot of those guys aren't as strait as you or they think."

"How do I do that?" I asked.

"Very discreetly," my dad said. 

"It's been a long day for me and I have a lot of home work to do this weekend along with my laundry I'm going to head up to get a beer and go to bed." I said. 

Mom, dad and John told me good night and I got up to go up stairs. That is when I noticed mom got up to follow me. 

I got to the kitchen and went to the refrigerator and pulled out two of my dad's Miller beers and went to my room and reclined on my bed. A couple of minutes later my mom walked in. She was still as naked as I was and she sat next to me on my bed she then leaned over and softly asked in my ear, "Did you really like what you did with your dad and John?" 

I looked down at my hard on and wondered how far my mom wanted to take this? I thought about her question for a moment and truthfully answered, "Yeah I liked it a lot," I then continued, "To be honest though I'm a little confused though."

Mom then asked, "Confused about what?"

"I really liked it and I would like to do it again and I would like to try more things with a guy, but I don't want to be gay, I want more out of life," I answered. 

"What do you want out of life?" mom asked, then she continued, "What else would you like to try with a guy"

"I want a wife who will be my partner in life. I want kids, I guess you could say I want my own family like you and dad have," I replied. I then reached down and started to lightly stroke my cock to give my hard on some relief then I said, "I want to find out what it is like to fuck and get fucked by a guy, I would like to try that once just to find out what it is like."

"I see," mom replied then she said, "Jack it does not have to be an either or choice, you can have everything you want out of life. The secret is just choosing the right person."

What do you mean? I asked.

Mom then replied, "Most people marry the wrong person and they end up paying for it for the rest of their lives. The secret is you have to be totally honest up front with the woman you marry and you have to be totally honest with yourself. For instance I new shortly after I met your dad that he and John have a special relationship, It was something I had to take in consideration when I decided to accept his proposal. I was a little threatened by it but I got to know John and how he and your dad feel about each other and I finally had to learn how to trust your dad." Mom then asked, "Jack what else would you like to do with a man?"

I thought for a second and wondered where this was going, and then I said, "I don't know."

Then mom put her right hand on my cock gently stroking it up and down and asked, "Jack honey, do you want to know what it feels like to get fucked by a man?" she then moved her head down to my chest and started to lick and suck my right nipple.

The feeling was just awesome I had no idea my nipples could be so sensitive. I thought for a few seconds and wondered why not tell the truth. Her and dad already knew I liked sucking cocks I just as well let them know how far I wanted to go with this and I softly replied, "Yes I would like to try that at least once,"

Then my mom said, "Jack do you want me to show you how to do that?"

Yes", I replied then I asked, "How are you going to do that?"

Mom just said, "You will find out tomorrow," then she moved her head down my stomach twirling her tongue in circles stopping briefly at my naval area then she moved down to my cock and sucked it in her mouth and started to give me a blowjob. With in a couple of minutes I was ready to get off but mom expertly held me off each time I was about to come. Then I couldn't take it any more and my hips started to come off the bed involuntarily and I started to moan. Then mom put more effort sucking my cock harder and faster then she went all then way down on my dick with her mouth and I exploded my second orgasm that night emptying right into her mouth. Mom then got up and kissed me good night and then left my room and in a couple of minutes I was asleep. 

I woke up 5:30am the next morning out of habit and went down to fix my self some breakfast. I then showered and went and started my homework from school. Around nine thirty my mom came up to see how I was doing and asked, "You ok with what we did last night?"

I answered, "Sure no problem, why did you ask?"

Mom said, "Your father and I were just wondering that is all. Were you serious when you said you would like me to show you the best way to have anal sex?"

I thought for a few seconds wondering what she was getting at then I said, "Sure I am curious about that, but I don't know what the big deal is."

Mom then looked at me real serious and said, "Jack I will be honest here, if it is done right it could be one of the most pleasurable things you could do. I know that from personal experience. If you do not take precautions however you could do your self or your partner serious harm, like go to the hospital emergency room harm. When you finish your home work come and see me and I will show you how to prepare your self for that."

For the next two hours I did my home work working on the four subjects I brought home taking intermittent breaks as I was studying, about 11:30 I closed my last book and put it away in my back pack and carried it to my car so I wouldn't forget it tomorrow when I left to go back to school. I then went to find my mom to see if her and dad any plans for the day. I found dad and John in the rec room watching some kind of game on TV drinking soft drinks and eating chips I said hi to them and we made some small talk although neither of them brought up last night. Mom came out of the laundry room and asked, "How are you doing Jack?" 

"Pretty good," I replied then I asked mom, "When did you think you were going to show me the correct way?" 

Dad and John's ears percked up and mom said, "When would you like to do it?"

I replied, "I don't have any plans for the afternoon how about now?"

Mom then said, "I'm going to talk to your dad and John for a minute. Why don't you go up to the bathroom and take your clothes off and wait for me?"

"Ok," I said then I went up stairs wondering what we were going to do in the bathroom. When I got to our bathroom I went in and took my clothes off and waited a couple of minutes for my mom. 

I heard her walk past the door towards her and dad's bedroom and shortly after she came in to the bathroom with out any clothes on carrying small sack. Mom then looked at me in a clinical manner and said, "Jack what I am about to do is get you prepped. If you want to do this kind of stuff your going to have to learn how to do it your self. Like I said last night if you do this incorrectly with out precautions you can end up getting your self or some one you care about seriously hurt. Unlike what many people think your colon is a pretty delicate part of your body. 

Then I asked, "Ok how do we get started?"

Mom then said, "Lay down on your stomach and I will start by washing your ass."

I laid down on my stomach then she started to wash the crack of my ass with a warm wash rag then she said, "I am going to clean you inside and out all you have to do now is enjoy the feeling." After she was done washing my ass she then said, "Now I have to clean out the inside. Jack I am going to do that by giving you a series of enemas." she then grabbed a tube of KY Jelly and put some on my ass hole, then she filled a enema bag with water and greased the nozzle with some more KY Jelly and stuck the nozzle in my ass. She then released the valve on the line and my bowls began to fill up with warm liquid. When the bag was empty she filled it up and again and again. She then told me to hold it until I couldn't hold it any more then I could empty my bowls in to the toilet. I waited a couple of minutes then I got up off the floor and sat on the toilet and expelled my bowls in to the toilet. My mom repeated the process three or four more times till all I expelled from my bowls was clear liquid. Then my mom said to me, "Jack this is where the fun begins." then she put some KY Jelly on her index finger and got behind me and inserted it into my rectum. She started to move it in and out of my ass slowly and asked, "Jack how does that feel?"

I replied, "It feels good don't stop."

She then inserted a second finger and moved then in and out of my ass just as slow and asked, "Jack how does this feel now?"

"Better," I replied.

She then stuck a third finger in working all three fingers in my ass then she asked, "How does this feel Jack?"

"Oh god that feels good," I replied. 

Then mom said, "Then your going to love the next step Jack." She then with drew her fingers and pulled a six-inch vibrator out of the sack and put some KY Jelly on it and put it on my sphincter muscle and said, "Relax Jack."

I relaxed as much as I could and to tell you the truth I was surprised as to how easy it went in and my mom pushed it slow in and out of my as for a couple a minutes then she asked, "Jack how does this feel?"

"Better than your fingers," I replied. 

Then she did the same with a ten-inch vibrator and a twelve-inch vibrator when she was done I was hard as a rock. Mom then said, "I think your ready follow me down stairs."

We went down stairs and dad and John where both naked. There cocks were semi erect and mom asked, "Are you ready Jack?"

I answered, "Yes."

Then mom said, "Get on your hands and knees Jack."

I got on my hands and knees and my dad got off the couch and stood in front of me. Then my mom said, "You have to get your father ready now. You know what to do."

I reached up and started to stroke my dad's cock then I got up on my knees and started to suck his cock. In a couple of minutes he was hard and my mom asked, "Is he ready Jack?"

I looked at my dad's hard cock and said, "I think so."

Then mom said, "Then ask him Jack?"

I then asked my dad, "Will you stick it in me."

Then mom sternly said, "Jack when men have sex with men they either suck or fuck now what do you want your dad to do?"

I looked up at my dad and I asked, "Will you fuck me?"

Mom then handed me the KY Jelly and I applied it to my dad's cock and dad stepped behind me and put his cock between the cheeks of my ass and pressed the head against my ass hole and said, "Prepare you self Jack here it comes."

There was intense pressure and a little pain at first once my dad had the head of his cock inside of my ass the pressure subsided and the pain went away shortly after. My dad then asked, "Are you ready Jack to proceed?"

"Yeah go ahead," I responded.

Dad then slowly pushed his cock all the way into my ass then stopped and held it there for a few seconds and asked, "How are you doing Jack?"

"I'm doing ok," I responded

Then he slowly began to move his cock in and out in short slow stroked every once in awhile he would take a long stroke. Then he said, "Oh god you feel good Jack. Your so dam tight and hot in there." 

It seemed like he fucked me for a very long time but in actuality it was only a few minutes. The next thing my dad said, "Oh god I'm getting close. Get ready to take my come Jack."

John then got off the couch and stood in front of me. I knew he wanted to be next. With out any one saying a word I reached up with my right hand and pulled his cock in to my mouth to get him hard while my dad was behind me fucking my ass. It only took a couple of minutes of sucking John's cock to get him hard, I pulled it out of my mouth to look at it then I looked up at John and smiled. My dad then pushed in my ass real hard and said, "Oh god Jack here it comes I'm going to fill your ass up with my juice are you ready?" Before I could answer I could feel my dad's come rushing in to my ass feeling it warmth as it entered me. My dad pulled out when he finished coming and stepped away from me. Then John pulled his hard cock out of my mouth and handed me the tube of KY jelly. I put a liberal amount on it, and then he stepped behind me and pushed his cock inside of me. He then started to take long slow deliberate strokes in me. After a couple of minutes he picked up the pace. John started to breath heavily as he picked up the pace asking me how I was doing then he took one final lunge into me and grunted. I could fill his dick spasm in side of me filling my ass with his hot come. He then went soft and he with drew his dick. 

I then got off the floor and mom said, "Let's get you cleaned up Jack then we can talk about what happened here." Mom the turned and went up stairs and I followed her to the bathroom. I looked at the toilet and sat down on it and expelled my father's and Johns come from my ass. Mom looked at me and said, "That is a normal reaction Jack, now get in the shower and get cleaned up." I didn't say anything back to mom I just got in the shower and turned the water on and washed my self off. Mom was waiting for me when I got out of the shower and I dried my self off. She looked at me and said, "Jack how do you feel about what we did last night and this morning?"

I put the lid down on the toilet and sat down and thought for a few seconds then I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Did you like what you have done so for? Is this something you would like to do again?" Mom said, clarifying what she asked before. 

"Yeah I liked it a lot, I had no idea it would be so fun to do. To be honest I know it probably was not done under the best of circumstances with my dad and all. It is something I have been wanting to try for the longest time and I am glad I got to see what it is like," I replied. 

"I agree with you on that but your dad and I talked it over and decided because of your age it would not be such a wrong thing to do. We figured because you're old enough to understand. We also think it would be best if we left this as a one time situation" Mom said. "I need to ask you something Jack. Our you seeing anyone right now?"

I looked at mom and thought for a moment then I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Our you seeing anyone at the moment?" Mom said.

"I am kind of seeing some one at school but I don't know how serious it is." I replied. 

"Is she the only person your seeing at the moment?" mom asked. 

"Yeah kind of, we enjoy each others company. We talk and do things together at school," I replied. "Jack you know your going to have to tell her about your interest and desires. It's only fair to her," mom said.

"Yeah I know we kind of talked about it last night on the phone. I told her we could talk about it some more tomorrow when we get back to school," I said.

"Call me tomorrow night and tell me what she said ok. I have to warn you though not many women find this kind of thing attractive. In fact most would drop a guy in a second if they found out they like to do this. If that is the case with this person you're seeing don't try and make any promises to her. If she does not accept you for who and what you are then she is not the person for you, understand Jack," mom said then she continued, "I brought some clothes in here for you. Put these on and we will go shopping this afternoon."

I picked up the pants and said, "These are way too big for me, and where's my underwear?"

You won't need any underwear this afternoon just put the pants on and pull the belt tight and tuck the shirt in."

I put the pants on like she said and pulled my belt tight to keep them from falling down and put the shirt on again I noticed the shirt was way too big for me and I looked at mom and she just looked at me and nodded. I then put my tennis shoes on with no socks. Mom asked, "Are you ready to go Jack?"

"Yeah I guess so," I replied. 

We then walked out to my car and she told me go to the local Walgreen's Drug Store. I pulled in to the store's parking lot and parked the car and we went in to the store. We went directly to health and sundry isle to look at the enema equipment, Mom picked out an enema bottle, one large rubber syringe, small rubber syringe and a tube of KY Jelly. We went to the sales check out and paid for the items and got in the car. Mom then said, "You never know Jack you might need these things when you get back to school." Then mom said, "Lets go to Walnut and 13th St. down town."

I started the car up and we left Walgreen's parking lot wondering why she would want to go there. There wasn't anything down there and to be honest it was a part of town to stay away from. I got down town and we arrived at the intersection of Walnut and 13th St. Mom pointed to the left and said, "We want to go in there next." I looked where she was pointing and the sign out front said Bad Boy Bowser Bob's Book Store. I'm not kidding it really did say that, from the outside the place looked like a dump and I wondered what it was they really sold in there. When we got in side I have to admit it was really nicer than the outside but that is not saying much. I noticed they sold real hard core porn they had lingerie that looked like it would only fit a twelve year old and in the display cases were reels and reels of dirty 8mm silent movies along the walls there were displays of every shape and size of electric vibrators and dildos. Mom walked over to the display rack of vibrators and pick out three like she had at home and we went to the counter and paid for them. The sales clerk was a heavyset woman with really huge tits in what looked like her fifties. She said, "How are you doing today Donna? You wear your other vibrators out already?" It really surprised me mom new such a place to exist. It floored me to find out she comes in here enough the sales help knows her by name. 

Mom answered, "We're doing pretty good today Mary. No, I didn't wear my other vibrators out these are for Jack."

Mary looked at me and smiled and winked, I know when kids grow up to be adults there parents look for ways to embarrass them but I think mom was really crossing the line this day. Then mom asked Mary if it was busy out back and Mary just smiled and said there were a few customers' back there but not too many, she winked at mom. Mom then asked, "Can we have four dollars worth of quarters."

Mary made the change and then mom said, C'mon Jack there is something back here I want to show you."

We walked through a beaded curtain it seemed like there were three or four rows of little booths; Mom took me to the back row and entered the one-second from the wall. She motioned me to follow her into the booth. When I got in side I could tell it was barely big enough to hold two people. Mom put a few quarters in the machine and projector started up playing a movie of two people fucking and sucking each other. She then pointed at the two 8" holes in the plywood walls and asked, "Do you know what those are Jack?" 




Reflections



I quietly said, "No."

A couple of minutes later a hard cock came through one of the holes and mom pointed it out to me and said, "That is what that hole is for Jack. He wants some one to suck his cock."

"Who," I asked. 

"A cock sucker," Mom replied, then she asked me, "You like to suck cocks don't you Jack?"

"Yeah," I answered. 

"Then take care of it Jack that is why he is here. That is why you are here." mom replied. 

I then looked up at mom and she then lowered her chin towards the cock and said, "Get on with it Jack this is how you start being a cock sucker."

I got down on my knees in front of the glory hole and grabbed the cock and put it in my mouth. I started sucking and stroking it and the guy on the other side of the wall let out a quiet sigh. Mom then said, "Yeah that's right Jack work him with your mouth. Get him off Jack make him come in your mouth." 

Then he started to pump it in and out of my mouth and in a couple of minutes I felt the cock swell up in my mouth and he gave on final thrust and started to come in my mouth. Then mom said, "Don't swallow Jack, you never swallow in a place like this." I then pulled away from the cock and looked at the floor of the booth and spit the guys come out of my mouth. 

Mom then said, "Let's go Jack we have one more stop to make before we go home." We then left the booth as we were walking out of the store Mary said, "Thank you for coming in did you guys have fun back there?"

Mom replied, "Jack here had a great time," then she smiled and winked at Mary on our way out of the store. 

We got in my car and started to drive out of the parking lot. When I got to the street mom said, "Go to the intersection of 14th and Grand Ave." 

Now I may have been a little naive back then but I new what was in that neighborhood. So I asked mom, "Why do you want to go there? There is nothing there but the dirty movie theater."

Mom replied, "That is where we are going Jack." Then she asked, "How did you like the adult book store?"

"It was ok I guess, to be honest I don't think it would be my first choice for such an activity," I replied.

Mom then said, "Such places are very seldom a first choice Jack. It is how ever an option when the itch gets to be too much to bear. It is also a good place to go with some one who has a similar interest."

I then pulled into the movie theater parking lot. I noticed there were not very many cars in it and I wondered why she would want to take me here. 

Before we got out of the car mom said, "Now Jack I'm going to need you to do everything I say when I say it with out question, do you understand?"

Now I was really wondering what she had in mind. Up to this time the only people I understood who went to these kind of movies were old men who wore rain coats. I saw she was serious so I nodded my head yes. 

Then mom asked, "Ok, just so there is no misunderstand what did I just say and what was your answer."

I looked at mom and said, "I'll do everything you say when you say it with out question."

Then mom said, "Ok Jack let's go inside."

We got out of the car and went in side. Mom went to the counter and said "Hello Diane can I have two tickets for the theater?" 

Diane was a middle-aged woman who looked like she had a hard life she smiled at my mom and said, "Sure Dona," she then took moms money. On our way in I noticed they had an arcade set up for viewing movies like they did at the bookstore. I asked mom, "These have glory holes in them to?"

Mom replied, "Maybe we will find out after we watch the movie."

We walked in to the theater the first thing I noticed is that it was pitch black in there. The only thing you could see was the screen. We waited along the wall for about three minutes while our eyes adjusted to the dark. When we could see where we were going mom led me to the back row. There was an isle about 8 feet wide between the back row of seats and the wall. I noticed four guys standing along the wall. There were three other guys sitting further our row of seats. Mom entered the row of seats first and I followed. When she reached the second seat from the isle she turned towards me and started to unbutton my shirt. I started to say something like what are you doing but mom held a finger to her lips and said, "Remember what we talked about in the car Jack." She then unfastened my pants and they fell right to the floor. Then mom said, "Sit down Jack." and I sat in the first seat of the row. 

I sat in the chair and started to watch the movie. To be honest I was feeling really uncomfortable because I felt like I was practically naked in public. Mom leaned over and whispered, "Relax Jack, this is supposed to be fun. Just watch the movie and play with yourself a little bit."

Let's face it, this is not exactly a situation where some one could feel comfortable and at ease for the first time. I kept imagining the cops coming in here and busting every one in sight including me in all of my nakedness. I started to look around the theater and I noticed 2 of the guys in the row mom and I were in sitting next to each other with one of them playing with the other. I then turned around to see what was behind us and I saw two of the guys standing next to each other jacking each other off. The another two guys were stroking their cock as they appeared to watch the movie. I then turned around in my seat to face the movie screen and I noticed two guys sitting next to one another. One of the guys was leaning back in his seat while the other guy was looking down in to his lap leaning off to the side. I then saw his head go down in to the guys lap. You could barely see his head bob up and down in the guys lap as he was sucking the guy off. I then looked off to our side and I could see one guy with his head bobbing up and down in the other guys lap. I turned around in my seat to look at the other two guys who were jacking each other off and I saw one of them leaning over sucking the other guys cock then I saw him get on his knees and take the cock back in his mouth. I then looked at the other two guys and one of them walked over to me and stood with his cock just a couple of inches away from my mouth. I looked at mom and she said, "Go ahead and suck it Jack your sitting in the cock sucker's seat."  

I got up and turned around in my seat so I was facing the man behind me and I leaned forward in my seat and took his cock in my mouth. Never in the world would I believe I would be doing something like this. Sucking off a stranger in a public place. The more I worked his cock though the bigger it got in my mouth and I took some pleasure in that. I then started to work his cock with my lips and tongue and going up and down the shaft with my mouth. He then started to thrust it in and out of my mouth. He let out a soft groan and his cock started to spit come in my mouth. When he was done coming he said, "Thank you," and with drew his cock out of my mouth turned and left. I looked down at the floor and spit his come out. The other guy was standing behind him watching the whole deal. He then stepped up with his cock out and I looked at mom. She motioned with her head towards the cock in a silent gesture for me to suck him to. I leaned forward and took his cock into my mouth and I sucked on it about three times. Then I took it out of my mouth and unfastened his pants and pulled them down below his knees. I put his cock back into my mouth and started to suck it like I did the previous guy. I put both of my hands on his buttocks and pulled his dick further in my mouth. He then started to pump his dick in and out of my mouth on his own. A few minutes later he thrust his cock deep in my mouth and started to fill it up with his come. He with drew his cock out of my mouth an pulled his pants up and left the movie theater. I looked down at the floor and spit his come out of my mouth. 

Before I turned around in my seat to face the movie screen mom reached over and pulled my shirt off my shoulders and asked, "Are you having fun?"

Mom stood up and quietly said, "I'll be right back Jack don't let any one sit in my chair. If some one wants to suck you or if they want you to suck them go right ahead and have fun without me."

"Where you going?" I asked. 

"I'm just going to the bathroom and buy us a couple of cokes," mom replied. 

I leaned back in my seat and started to watch the movie while I stroked my cock. I looked over to see the one guy still sucking the other. In a couple more minutes I saw the one guy thrust his hips up off the seat and come in the other guys mouth. He rose up out of his lap and spit his come on the floor. The one guy who got sucked off put his dick in his pants and got up and left. He said, "Excuse me," as he went by me to leave. I looked down the row again and saw the one guy who had been jacking off by him self get up with his cock still out of his pants. He walked by the one guy who had just sucked off the man who just left and said, "Excuse me," as he went by. He stopped in front of me with his cock out hanging right in my face. He thrust his hips forward then he looked down at me. I looked at his cock then I looked up at his face. He then thrust his hips forward again and nodded his head towards his cock. I reached up and unfastened his pants and pulled them down below his knees and leaned forward and took his cock in my mouth. He grabbed my head and started to thrust his cock in and out of my mouth. All I could do was just hang on to both of his legs to keep my self-steady in my seat. The other guy got up and sat next to me. I know what my mom said but let's face it in the situation I was in there was not much I could do about it. He reached over and started to play with my hard cock as the other guy was fucking my face. I then reached over with my right hand and put it on the back of his head and gently pulled his face into my lap. Without hesitation he opened his mouth and started to suck my cock. He was really good at it, so much so that I found it hard to concentrate on the cock in my mouth. I felt his cock swell up in my mouth and start to twitch then I tasted his come. He shot three or four spurts and then I felt my own orgasm build and I thrust my hips out of the seat filling the other guys mouth with my come. He then looked up at me and smiled and we both looked down at the floor and spit the come out of our mouths. When I looked up I saw mom off to the side and she handed me my shirt and said, "C'mon Jack it is time to go home." 

I put my shirt on and pulled up my pants, and then we left the theater. On our way home mom asked, "What did you think of our afternoon Jack? You still want to do this with other men?"

"Yeah I had fun. I just need to figure out how I can meet other guys who like to do this." I replied.

Then I asked mom, "You ever have sex with other women?"

Mom looked across the seat and said, "Yes Jack I have had experiences with other women both before and after I met your dad. You think it is your generation that invented the sexual revolution," then she smiled at me.

We got home and mom fixed supper for dad and I. During the meal dad asked "You do anything interesting this afternoon?" Mom told him about the bookstore and the theater. Dad looked at me and asked, "How did you like that Jack?" 

I replied, "It was fun but I can see how it could get old if you don't have some one special in your life."

"It's good you see that aspect Jack. Your going to find the hardest part of life is now coming up. You have to find some one who will accept that part of you. If you find some one like that don't let her go," dad replied. Then he asked, "Your mom tells me you have started to see a girl at school. What can you tell us about her?"

I thought for a minute, I really didn't know what to say or what they were really asking me. So I said, "There is really not much to tell. I like spending time with her. She is fun to be with in her own way and I like the way I feel when I'm with her. To be honest this weekend is the longest time we have been apart since we started seeing each other."

"Do you miss her Jack?" dad asked.

"I'm afraid I do, which really surprises me," I replied. 

"How do you think she will react when you tell her about your interest Jack?" Dad asked. 

"I think she will be ok with it," I replied. 

"What makes you think that?" dad asked.

"We have kind of talked about it before when we were discussing something else," I replied.

"I see," Dad said then he asked, "When are you going to tell her you like to suck cocks?"

"Tomorrow I think," I replied. 

Then dad asked, "Call me tomorrow and tell me how it went I would be interested in hearing how it went."

"Ok," I replied. 

After dinner dad I and drank a few beers and talked about sports and what I have been doing at school. I went to bed around ten o'clock because I wanted to get an early start on going back to school. I got up the next morning early and had breakfast with mom and dad when I went out to my car to head back to school mom brought out a care package of sorts. It was enough food for four people to eat all day. When I got to school I called Kathy's room to see if she got back yet. There was no answer so I called her parents house to see what time she would be getting back to school. 

"Hello," an older sounding lady said.

"Hi my name is Jack a friend of Kathy from school. I was just calling to see if Kathy was still home?" I replied. 

"Are you the one who called Friday night?" Kathy's mom asked. 

"Yes, I called Friday night. Why do you ask?" I replied.

"I think you understand that Kathy is our daughter and her father and I were just a little concerned about her that is all," Kathy's mom said. 

"Well Kathy and I are friends and I do enjoy spending time with her. She is the first girl that I could be a friend with because she is so easy to talk to. When I am with her I just don't feel so alone in the world," I replied. I knew at this time I had to be careful in what I said. I really didn't want to start a pissing contest with some one I have never met. Then I asked to Kathy's mother, "Can I ask you when Kathy will be here today?" 

"Kathy and her brother should be up there in about thirty minutes. Her car is going into the shop this week. That is why her brother is bringing her back to school," Kathy's mom said then she continued, "She also said that you might want to talk to her brother about what you and her had talked about Friday night."

I sat in silence; I didn't know what to say. All I could think of was why would Kathy tell her mom and her brother about our conversation. I realized I needed to know what she told her mom and I needed to know why her brother would want to talk to me about this. I also did not have a clue as how I should ask Kathy's mom about this. 

I thought for a few more seconds then I asked, "Do you have any idea what Kathy and I talked about on the phone and why would I want to talk to her brother?" 

"Honey Kathy and I talk about everything. She was just surprised that you never experimented with other boys," Kathy's mom replied.

I listened very carefully to what she said. I quickly analyzed it and came to the conclusion that she would have a positive attitude towards this and then became real curious as to what she and Kathy had in mind. 

Then I asked, "What do you and Kathy's Father think of this activity and why would I want to talk to her brother?"

Kathy's mom replied, "Kathy's father and I have a very open minded when it comes to sex. In fact we taught all of our boys to enjoy sucking just like my father taught my brothers how to suck. We thought Kathy's brother would be a safe first time for you." 

Now I was wondering what the hell I said to Kathy Friday night. I was almost positive I didn't tell her I wanted to suck a guy. In fact I would almost bet I didn't, well not in so many words anyway. 

So I thought for a few seconds about what to say next then I said, "Looks like Kathy and I have something to talk about when she gets here. It's been nice talking to you."

I hung up the phone and called Donny's room to see if he came back yet. The phone rang four times and I was about ready to hang up assuming he has not made it back yet when Donny picked up the phone and answered it. "Hello," Donny said. 

"Hey Donny it's me Jack how is it going?" I replied.

Donny said, "Oh hi Jack it's going pretty good just got back from home. You have any plans for the afternoon?"

"Not really, I thought I might go to the gym for a quick work our before Kathy gets back," I replied.

"Mind if I go with you?" Donny asked. 

"Sure why not, give me a minute to stop by Kathy's room and leave a message and I will be right over and we can go to the gym from there," I replied. 

I packed up my gym bag and left my room. I stopped by Kathy's room and left a note on her door stating I was going to go and work out with Donny and I would call her when I was done. Then I went over to Donny's room and knocked on the door. I heard him say come in and I opened his door and entered the room. Donny has always been pretty much a slob when it came to his room. I guess that is why we spent most of the time at my room. That and the fact my stereo and music collection was better than his. When I entered the room I inspected the clutter and noticed a few magazines lying about. I noticed a few of them were what you would call gay porn and didn't say anything. I figured that was his business and if he wanted to tell me about them he would. 

I knew Donny had been uncomfortable changing in the men's locker room I figured it was because he was smaller than most men in physical size so I asked him, "Hey you want to change here and go to the gym and shower here when we get back?"

Donny said, "Yeah sure that's not a problem."

I started to undress I looked over at Donny he was doing the same. I discreetly watched him as I undressed and started to put my exercise clothes on. I noticed his naked body was lean and his dick was cut and normal size. When we were ready we went to the Men's gym and worked out in the weight room for about hour. After that we went to the track and jogged for a mile and headed back to his room. When we got to his room we undressed and put a towel around ourselves and went into the dorm shower across the hall and showered. We both got done about the same time and went back to his room. We removed our towels and I asked Donny, "Kathy and I have sort of talked about having a threesome. Would you like to join us?"

Donny just stood there for a little bit then he said, "What?"

"You know a threesome were we three have some fun," I replied. 

Then Donny asked, "Would you suck me off?"

We were only standing about 5 feet apart so I took a step forward and got on my knees and reached for his semi erect cock and put it in my mouth and started to suck it. His cock started to respond instantly in that get got really hard and I started to suck on it harder bobbing my head up and down on the shaft and jacking it with my right hand. Donny reached down with both hands and took hold of my head and started to thrust his cock in and out of my mouth. I started to suck his cock harder and working it more with my tongue and lips. He thrust one final time into my mouth and I felt his cock swell up and start spewing forth his come. He came in such quantity I could not hold all of it in my mouth and quite a bit of it came out the corners of my mouth and I swallowed the rest. I looked up at Donny and asked, "Does that answer your question?" 

I he looked down and smiled and said, "I guess it does."

Then I said, "I will talk to Kathy about a threesome with you and I then."

I then got dressed and washed his come from my face and grabbed my gym bag and headed for Kathy's room. I was hoping her brother would not be there so Kathy and I could be alone and talk. I got to her room in a few minutes and knocked on her door. Kathy answered the door and let me in. As soon as the door closed I pulled her near me and we embraced and deeply kissed each other. I then reached under her tee shirt and fondled her luscious breast through her bra and pulled her tee shirt up and unhooked her bra and fondled her naked breast some more. We then broke the kiss and I noticed some one else was in her room with us. I asked her, "Who is your friend?" Kathy looked up at me and said, "This is no friend this is my brother Billy."




Reflections



Curious. If I were forced to use one word to describe my own character it would probably be Curious. Other words that would probably describe me better could be nosy, blunt or excessively shy and dull but I guess that bottom line, I try to be positive about myself and life in general. So Curious it is.

I cannot remember one single day of my life that has not been spent, at least not to the greatest extent, by me investigating the surroundings, indulging in the spectacles of lights and colors around me, learning about the life of people and their habits. 

This hobby of mine is made so much easier by the fact that many people, the absolute majority, have a tendency not to notice me at all and when this category of people do, they tend to actively ignore me. Consequently, I can (although I despise the expression) sneak up on people pretty easily and follow their everyday life and doings without anyone disturbing me. I have spent most of my life in the shopping mall just watching people, smiling inside knowing that they would probably not take notice of me even if they would look straight at me. The excitement of finding a new peculiar behavior or an interesting character I have never seen before is only superseded by the rush I experience when I find new patterns – an elderly gentleman that always halts for a second to tighten his tie and wet his lips before he enters any store in the mall, a young woman that everyday manages to sneak out of the record store celebrating a new innovative way of stealing a compact disc only to return ten minutes later and pay for the goods anyway. 

Most observations are mundane, such as the fact that men pick the nose by digging with the index finger or the thumb whereas women use their ring finger or little finger and remove any itching with an outward movement as if the ambition was to fling away any foul objects as far away as possible, but I cannot resist from adding even these observations to my catalogue of human behavior. 

Other reflections, nevertheless, are quite exquisite. One of my all time favorites, of erotic nature of course as erotic and sexual behavior has a tendency to always end up on my top ten lists, is Mrs. Fruit. She was Miss Fruit when I first spotted her but I am positive that she married a couple of months ago. Her daily show is still on, nonetheless. 

*

My first sensation was that of being monitored but I was pretty sure even then that nobody was watching me but I was equally sure that somewhere in the mall, somebody was watching or guarding someone or something. The feeling prompted flashes of the image of sharks circling a helpless prey in deep water. Wide circles at first, narrowing, sudden fake attacks and then... 

There it was, at the fruits and vegetables desk in the supermarket was a slender girl letting her hand stroke a bunch of zucchinis, then quickly removing her hand and turn away into the store. Only to return a minute later. This time, and I saw her eyes focus on the fruit from far away, her steps took her to the bananas. A quick check of a bunch of bananas and then away again. 

I followed her closely, watching her repeat the routine a number of times until she had gone over all stretched fruits and vegetables in the store only to hide one specific cucumber a bit behind the others and then leave the store. Watching her stroll between different shopping-windows in the mall, I started to wonder what she was up to when she suddenly turned around, swift like a shark changing direction, and strode towards the supermarket. Radiating a sense of razor sharp precision she picked up the targeted cucumber and put it in her basket. On her way to the counter, she randomly picked up a couple of small items. After having paid, she moved hurriedly towards the parking lot and disappeared. 

The woman's routine developed almost instantly to one of the regular sceneries of the mall. Almost like clock-work she arrives mid-afternoon, neatly dressed in dark blue or grayish suits. Most often, she will finally pick a cucumber but already after three weeks, she had picked up carrots and bananas, zucchinis and egg plants as well as corn on the cob and a few other stretched fruits and vegetables. 

I was quite certain from the start that the reason for her daily purchases was not an urge for vitamins and fibers. Her sensual investigation of the phallus-like vegetables displayed far too erotic undertones. But I was a bit afraid that this conclusion was designed by my disturbed mind rather than founded on facts and reason. This hesitation disappeared, nevertheless, a week after she supposedly had married. 

Without warning, the woman had interrupted her daily routine for several days but this particular day she had returned and had bought a yellow zucchini but instead of heading directly to the parking lot, she sat down at the Italian café in the middle of the mall. 

It took a while before I realized, but when she moved a cup of cappuccino to her lips, the diamonds from her brand new ring sparkled almost unnaturally bright and I understood that her civil status had most likely changed. I guessed that this was related to her waiting at the coffee shop.

After some twenty minutes of idleness, I returned my focus to the woman since she had started to look at the watch and make movements as if she was uncomfortable. There was something about her appearance that led me to suspect that she had strained her back but I realized that the peculiar angel of her back was due to the fact that her hand was deep down in the paper bag from the supermarket while she looked casually around her, apparently trying to let her activities go unnoticed. Needless to say, she did not notice me watching her but I believe that she was successful in her attempt otherwise. 

Finally she lifted the zucchini out of the bag and she let it slide along her leg all the way from her ankle to her thigh, over her knee-long skirt. Her eyes were half closed and lips slightly apart but otherwise there were little, if any, evidence showing that she was carefully caressing her legs with the vegetable. She did not wait long until she parted her legs and let the zucchini slide in under her skirt between her legs. I could see that she bit her lower lip as she raised her hips slightly only to sit down again, although this time with the new-won friend under her, secured by her clenched thighs. 

Obviously a bit nervous, she let her eyes wander over people on neighboring tables, but when she felt comfortable that nobody had realized what she had been up to, she returned to her cup of cappuccino for a sip. She picked up a newspaper and made a good impression that she was actually reading it but I could see that she rhythmically tightened the muscles in her legs and wiggled her behind, as to squeeze the vegetable under her. I could also notice that her body trembled occasionally and every once in a while she would twitch her head and bite her lip. 

The pleasure she was obviously experiencing did, nevertheless, not diminish her attention. Even before I noticed the disturbance to the rhythm in the mall from his half running steps, the woman had dropped the zucchini in the bag, risen from the chair and opened her arms to greet her husband from far away. This was the only glimpse I have ever gotten from him, but I have continued to spot the woman's green lovers almost daily.

*

Some people, and I have never been able to tell who or why or what will make up the difference, are quite the opposite from those that do not see me. I live my life without prejudice and I do not think that I give certain people more attention than others. I am not much of a flatterer but am pretty open with what I think at all times (this has, of course, led to disagreements more than once). Consequently, I sincerely believe that it is not my doing that lead certain people to ignore me and others to adore me. 

Some people, more women than men to be honest but like I said, I have no prejudice, seem to like me straight and simple. When we meet, the mutual attraction is instantaneous.

Conversations turn into emotions, mutual reflections turn into subtle touches, the arousing feeling of the breath that bears the sweet words from a close face turns into a kiss. Sometimes I can feel that kiss for days; feel like I bear a mark of erotic sensation open for anyone to see. 

But I have learnt not to let myself get carried away. Too many times have my lover from the day before forgotten about me the day after and through her neglecting me, actively pushed me back to the voyeur's seat. Watching my lover, watching new people, usurping characters and characteristics.

*

Suddenly, she stood in front of me. She was smiling, dancing, flirting. I knew in that instant that my life had changed. My initial state of wilderness quickly passed and I was lost to her charm, enchanted by her vigor. She caressed me and took me home. She did not demand or ask me, she just took me home. And I followed.

I was excited, even thrilled over the sharp turns faith had suddenly taken. I had always been the spectator. My satisfaction had always come from wallowing in my impressions of the outside world. Characterizing, cataloguing, analyzing; often knowing what people would do before they did it, even before they knew what they was about to do. My reflections on human nature had reached a status of perfection - I had had it all figured out. 

No more. Finding myself in the midst of events I did not even try to guess where Fortune was about to take me. I could not sort out any data from my observations, could not identify any patterns to analyze. Frameworks were non-existent. Every second was a new experience. Every minute, I was reborn. Emotions overwhelmed me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh.

Amazing. The feeling of her presence was fortified by the smells in her home and the sudden sensation that everything around me was part of her amazed me as we entered through the door. I felt that I was home.

She showed me her bedroom. Music filled my ears and engulfed with lust we danced. Her muscles and limbs seemed to absorb the rhythms and put her body in motion in perfect harmony with the music. 

My excitement grew and I felt bolts of lightning running through me as she started to undress, still dancing, preening before me, stroking her body with her hands as she removed her light garments. I was aroused like never before when she danced before me, totally naked, divulging her beautiful body. Smilingly, she teased me by touching herself; her hair, her neck, her torso. Her one hand caressed her breast while the other moved, slowly, along her side, caressing her behind, forward to her thigh. 

She looked straight at me and winked as her hand cupped her sex and made massaging it a part of her dance. Suddenly she seemed to lose track of the music as the swaying movements of her body slowed down and was replaced by stiff spasms. A faint moan slipped from her lips and her head flung backwards, eyes closed, as she buried the tip of her hand inside her. 

She sat down on the side of the bed, again looking straight at me, apparently exhausted from her self-exploring dance as pearls of sweat were visible on her chest, although still smiling. Then she lay back on the bed expressing a sigh. I tried to reach out to her but even before I could move she shot out of the bed and out of the room without one word of explanation. 

I heard her rummaging around in the other rooms but did not dare to follow her. I did not understand. And I did not understand why I did not understand. Why was it that I could not relate to any past experience in my trying to approach her? Why was this scenery, in which I was an integrated player, so different from others that I had only observed as a spectator? Why had I learnt so little when I had studied so much?

After ages of time she came back to the bedroom. My doubts faded as I watched her. She had brushed off any clues from her savage dancing before. She wore an astonishing silk dress that led the thoughts to water and wind as her every move sent waves through the fabric, yet it divulged the perfect curvature of her body. She looked straight at me, carefully smoothed her hair, smiled hastily and then she was gone. All went dark.

*

So, I am curious. Curios about her. Curious about my situation, what I should do, if I should go or if I should stay. But I have no outlet for my curiosity. Curiosity is pounding in my head, in my chest, desperate to find its way out. Frustration builds as it cannot escape. All is dark. I try to move but cannot. I try to scream but cannot. I do not know why I am paralyzed. Was I always like this? When did it happen and why? Nothing else in the room moves - is that the reason why I cannot move? Nothing else in the room makes any noise - is that why I cannot make a sound? I was so sure that my life had changed. I did not realize that this was all there was around the corner. Darkness. Silence. Despair.

*

I am back at the mall. People are running to and fro as they come by after work to do their grocery shopping; because they want to come home with flowers, for love or for conscience; because they are afraid to go home; because they have no home. Mrs. Fruit has just left for the parking lot with a bag of vegetables, half running. She almost ran over the elderly gentleman as he tightened his tie before he was to enter the supermarket but hurried away anxious that he might find out her secrets. But he does not care about secrets. He just wets his lips and enters the store.

I am safe. Nobody takes any notice of me. I savor the impressions from the living people around me, the sounds, the movements...

*

The front door opens. The realization that I am still in her bedroom startles me. Hope? Maybe. Anxiety? Definitely.

Laughter. Voices. She is not alone. A man is with her. They stumble into the bedroom. I freeze, pressing myself against the wall. 

Darkness does not allow me to see more of her and her company than silhouettes. I hold my breath, hoping that they will not spot me, when I reflect over the stupidity in my reaction. Why should I hide? I should forward and claim my right to her. But what would my grounds be for such a claim? I was more than willing when I let her take me with her. I reveled in her attention but demanded no commitments; neither took nor gave any promises. 

So I hide. So I observe. 

So I watch a man and a woman, just barely visible from the faint light from a neighboring room, bodies entwined in a licentious performance. Her movements echoes the dancing from earlier, only reinforced, only more expressed, only more erotic from the interaction with him, performing an equally captivating dance. The man and woman complement each other perfectly and my uneasiness and shame disappears for the benefit of excitement and admiration. 

Never have I experienced such ardor. The heat from their animated passion touches me and sends waves of pleasure through me. No, I should not hide. My place is not hiding against the wall. I should enter the lustful competition and embrace the situation with the enthusiasm that is building up inside me. Touch her. Kiss him. Let them feel me. Let them see me. I am no longer the observer - I am a participant.

Did I make a noise? Their eager movements slow down. His eyes focus on me. Has he seen me? He whispers something in her ear and she smiles and looks at me. 

Lights on. Beckoning. He rises before me, smiling; showing me his naked body, proud of his athletic constitution, proud of his erection. 

She comes up behind him, presses her torso against his back, and caresses his body with her hands. Kisses his shoulders, then looks up at me smiling and invites me to join their fondling. He pulls her in front of him, brings her closer to me, to share her with me. She does not leave me with her eyes as she puts one arm on each side of me. Her face is right next to me. Her breathing is heavy. He puts his arms around her, he kisses her neck and places his head over her shoulder, placing his face as close to me as her. His breathing matches her and I can feel the warmth from both of them. 

I shiver inside from the feeling of his hands as he let his palms slip between me and her. Her eyes rolls and she utters a silky moan of pleasure as he enters her from behind. Through her body, I feel the impulse from his thrusts. 

Faster. 

Her soft skin rubs against me as I support her with my back against the wall and I feel drops of her sweat forming small currents on me. 

Pounding. 

He bares his teeth as he approaches his climax. Harder. My exhilaration knows no borders. I am stimulated. I am stiff. I feel like I could explode. I feel like I could break into pieces. Or melt from the heat. 

Screaming. 

Spasms run through her body. Eyes closed, she screams out her pleasure and drops her face on me. I feel her vibrant orgasm and reach my own climax. Caught a bit off guard, a final plunge from him makes me lose balance and as he pulls her slightly away from me, I drop to the floor.

Falling. 

Back scrapes against the wall. Far below I can see how the floor gathers strength in anticipation of the blow from my fall. 

Closer. 

I hear the laughter from my companions; the warmth from their heavy breathing is fading away. They look away, letting my fall go unnoticed. Moments before I am about to hit the floor, I see how their lips meet in a passionate kiss. Want to scream - but I cannot. Want to cry - but I have no tears.

Impact. 

I hear the sound of it, before I feel it; the crack, the fracture, an explosion that involves my entire presence. Bright colors. Rays of light. Spinning, flinging. She surrounds me. He is laughing. So many pictures. A shattered image of our temple. A kaleidoscope vision of the world.

*

Dawn breaks. A thousand suns shine through a thousand windows. One by one they disappear as parts of me are shuffled to darkness. Sharp edges of broken glass distort the impression of her. No, the impressions of her. Thousands of her, moving in tandem, performing a joyful dance and giving me shelter, piece by piece.

*

Again I am one. One little piece of me that her caring hands have missed. Again I am hidden in a corner, curiously observing the world around me. Investigating human nature. Finding pleasure in her doings; how she moves, the rhythm of her breathing at night, her erotic adventures, her clothing, the attention she gives to the little details. Feeling joy from the melody of her humming as she attaches a new mirror on the wall.