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Life in A-Flat

By: komrad1156



"I'm impressed, Emma. That was a very complicated piece and yet you had no difficulty playing it. I'm just not sure why you chose to play it in A-flat when it's almost always performed in E. I'm not criticizing you. It was just so...different."

Her violin teacher was a kindly old man, but he seemed incapable of offering a compliment that didn't include some kind of 'but' or 'however.' It was what her grandmother called a left-handed compliment and her late father referred to as a compliment with shit on it. Emma winced when she thought of that word. She'd loved her daddy, but he was often a very mean and very crude man. Of course, that was almost certainly due to the fact he was nearly always drunk. Emma decided not to reply to Mr. Winslow's concern about her choice of key. After all, if she could play it well, then the key was a matter of personal choice. And Emma had a sad but personal connection with her choice.

"May I be excused, Mr. Winslow?" Emma asked sweetly.

"Of course, dear. I'll see you two days hence at the appointed time then?"

"Yes, sir. I won't be late again. I promise," she assured him. Emma arrived ten minutes late which, to Mr. Winslow, a devout Catholic like Emma and her mother, was a kind of mortal sin. That was ironic because she'd been held up by Father McKenna after confession.

She was always honest with her parish priest. Without naming him, she'd once again confessed the lust she felt for a boy named Bobby McAlister, but this time she was devastated when her penance was 1,000 Hail Marys. She loved the Blessed Virgin, but she'd never been assigned more than 10 for her wicked thoughts. This time, Father McKenna asked to see her in his office. 

Even though she'd gone to Catholic school in that parish all of her life, and in spite of graduating as valedictorian, she was still intimidated by Father McKenna. She was nearly trembling when he told her to get up off the bench outside his office where she'd been waiting for him and come inside. She'd only been summoned once before, and that was because he was told she'd been a possible witness to something horribly bad. Allegedly, she'd seen two of the senior boys kissing in an empty room. She hadn't and neither had anyone else, but that didn't matter as the boys were both expelled for their heinous conduct—just in case. And here she was again being told to come in and sit down.

"Yes, Father?" she said without raising her eyes.

"My child, how many times have you confessed to this same sin? This lust of yours for an unnamed boy? Twenty-five? Thirty? More?"

Emma Castillaw was petrified. She was 19, but felt like a child in so many ways. She still lived with her widowed mother, she had no job, no money, no boyfriend, and she was—homely. At least that was the word most people used to describe her. Some referred to her as 'comfortable looking' but she knew what they meant. She had to admit she did live at home and having had only one date in her life—an uncomfortable fix-up that ended two hours early—it most certainly was a rather apt description.

"That sounds about right, Father," she told him.

"Emma? It's normal for a girl your age to like boys. And while we don't encourage impure thoughts, they can arise in our minds, but we mustn't let them grow. What is it you're imagining? Perhaps we can find some way for you to overcome these temptations." 

Emma's blood ran cold. How could she tell her priest what she was thinking? It was too much to ask of anyone. In fact, the genesis of her thoughts was something she couldn't discuss—period. How could she possibly explain what she'd seen on her 18th birthday when her first and only date pretended to have gotten an emergency phone call before the movie he was taking her to see even began? Once they'd arrived at the theater, Bobby McAlister had asked her to stay and sit with him in the parking lot before they went inside. Emma thought he was the cutest boy she'd ever seen and couldn't believe he'd asked her out. She didn't learn until after the disaster that he only did so because his mother was friends with her mother and she'd begged Bobby's mom to have her son ask out her Emma. After just five minutes of small talk, Bobby took her hand. A few minutes later, he leaned over and kissed her. Emma was taken completely by surprise but it was a very...pleasant...kind of surprise. She began kissing him back and didn't stop even when Bobby stuck his tongue in her mouth. It was oddly exciting and Emma...liked it. But then he'd tried to...touch her...up there. She was so confused and frightened she pushed him away and demanded he take her home immediately. But that was only the beginning of her evil thoughts. 

When she arrived at her apartment, she quietly snuck inside then did her best to silently tiptoe upstairs without being seen. She made it to the bottom of the stairs when she heard strange noises. She stopped and looked and what she witnessed was unspeakable. Her mother was naked and kneeling between Daddy's knees as he was sitting on the couch. Mother had his...thing...in her mouth and daddy was saying things that were unspeakable. "Suck my cock you fucking Catholic whore!" And momma just kept doing it. 

Emma was spellbound. She knew she shouldn't watch. It was so wrong. It was...sinful. But she couldn't help herself. She peeked around the stair post and watched until after a few minutes of that, momma stood up and climbed up on daddy's lap and lowered herself onto his...pole thingy...and she was saying terrible things, too! "Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Fuck my slut ass! Fuck me hard!"

That night, Emma began touching herself as she lusted after Bobby. She pictured herself doing that to him and him doing...that...to her. This went on the rest of her senior year and she was still fantasizing about these evil things with no end of her lust in sight. No, there was simply no way she could tell Father McKenna her thoughts.

"My child? If you won't tell me your thoughts, let me ask you this. Have you tried telling this boy that you like him? Perhaps he might ask you out and then you could possibly fall in love and marry him. Wouldn't that be preferable to living in this perpetual state of sinful lust? I must tell you, the Blessed Virgin cannot be happy with such things. Yet you seem unwilling to repent and change your ways. That is why I assigned 1,000 Hail Marys. If there is a next time it will be 10,000. Do you understand me, child?"

Emma never once looked up. She sat straight with her knees together, her folded hands in her lap. Even now, there was nothing to say. Bobby would never feel the same way about her. He was popular and athletic. She was...not. Emma wore glasses—thick glasses which corrected her nearsightedness. Her teeth weren't straight but her hair was. Straight, brown, and plain. She was also very thin and if that wasn't enough, God had not seen fit to bless her with...to endow her with...breasts. She was 19 and as flat as any boy. She wore a bra, but there was certainly no anatomically-necessary reason to do so. She was what she'd heard some mean boys call "a pirate's dream." The first time she heard that, she felt flattered—until the punch line was spoken. "Because she's got a sunken chest!" some boy had said as the others all laughed raucously. The shame Emma felt had stayed with her ever since.

"Very well, then," Father McKenna said. "You may be excused, but I do not want you back in my confessional next week asking for forgiveness of this same sin, my child. Even God's patience has limits."

Emma quietly picked up the violin case she'd brought with her and quickly walked out. She only had to walk one block to Mr. Winslow's studio, but she knew she would now be late. Like Father McKenna, he would also be upset with her. On top of all that, her mother told her she had to begin looking for work to help make ends meet and the temp agency had called informing her she had her first job that morning at 9am. It was now 8:15 leaving her precious little time to get home, change, and take the bus to the office building in the middle of the Bronx. Fortunately, the middle of the Bronx was only six blocks away. Emma walked as quickly as she could, hoping (and praying) she wouldn't be also be late for her first day of work. To add insult to injury, this office expected its employees to dress professionally. Because it was so cold outside, that meant Emma would need to wear her least favorite thing which emphasized her lack of...what? Cleavage? That was almost funny. Emma not only didn't have cleavage, she didn't even have bumps. She was as flat-chested as a girl could be. How could she tell Mr. Winslow she'd chosen A-flat as her key because that was the way she felt about herself?

___________

"So she was still there? Dude! Talk about a dumb blonde!"

"Yeah, when I woke up, there she was walking around in my shirt."

"No shit? That chick couldn't buy a clue!"

Chad Braden had had too much to drink the night before. He thought he'd told her where the door was after he banged her, but he couldn't be sure. All he knew was she was still there at 8am when his alarm woke him up. And Candy...or Connie...or Casey...or whatever...was not only there but she was...perky! "Good morning, Sunshine! What can I get you for breakfast?" she'd asked him in that 'I'm sooo glad you're finally awake again so I can say mindless, annoying things to you' voice.'

"What time is it?" he asked her rhetorically. She started to answer and he said, "Look. I gotta be to work by nine so leave my shirt on the bed and..." he grabbed his wallet and handed her twenty bucks, "Here's cab fare. Take care and have a nice day."

Casey ripped off his shirt, threw it on the bed, then pulled on her clothes and stormed out slamming the door behind her. The loud noise served as another painful reminder of how much tequila he'd drank. "Fuck. I gotta stop doing this," he said out loud.

Chad was a ladies' man in every sense of the word. He was handsome, athletic, single, and owned a medical sales company that made him a lot of money. Okay, it had been his dad's business for 20 years, but Chad had taken it from two local offices to over 10 throughout the Bronx and Queens in just three years. He was good at it, and the money he made let him live in a nice place in Manhattan to which he brought his endless string of one-night stands. Every morning he'd tell himself he was gonna find a nice girl and settle down, but every night he was back at one of his favorite pick-up spots bringing home some hot, new piece of ass he'd fuck then wake up alone again the following day. And more often than not, he had a hangover to boot. "Note to self," he said out loud, "Stop drinking so damn much."

What Chad hated the most about it was the way he refused to use the one real gift he had—the ability to see in people what they couldn't see in themselves—when it came to women. He could size up a potential salesman in a couple of minutes. He instinctively knew whether or not they could make money for him. If he or she could but they were inexperienced, he paid for their training. If not, they walked no matter how confident or attractive they were. And he was almost never wrong. 

Yet when it came to dating, Braden had long since tired of just fucking women he found physically attractive yet he kept right on doing the same thing somehow expecting different results. He'd kept count until the number got past 200 at which point it became meaningless. New York City had an endless supply of them and he was good-looking enough to reel in a new girl any night of the week. There was a challenge to it, though, as it wasn't easy finding the kind of women he liked and their numbers were shrinking every day. Actually, they were growing every day because Braden only dated women who were very cute in the face but who had no boobs or at most maybe a tiny little bump. He had no interest whatsoever in big, floppy tits, and he didn't give a shit how many men found that attractive. He didn't and that was all there was to it. 

To make matters worse, he had to admit it wasn't even fun anymore. In fact, it was becoming a huge pain in the ass and something had to change. If only he could find someone he could fall in love with. Someone who was cute but also smart and...and what? Sweet? He should be able to list the qualities he wanted but after all these affairs and one-night stands and hook-ups, Chad Braden still couldn't spell out exactly what he was looking for. He laughed when he thought about the guy who said he couldn't define pornography but that he knew it when he saw it. Perhaps that was the best he could hope for when it came to find this elusive creature.

He shrugged off the daily conversation he had with himself knowing he'd back out 'fishing' as he called it around 10pm and by midnight, he'd be shlonging some hot, flat-chested thing who'd be screaming out his name even though he'd have no idea what hers was. Then he'd wake up alone and if he were to actually be honest with himself, lonely—again. That shit was really getting old.

___________

Emma arrived out of breath at 8:59 and was met by a very authoritative-looking woman name Beverly who looked at the large wall clock as she arrived. "You must be my temp," she said brusquely. "Let me show you where you'll be working today." Beverly led her down a row of cubicles and told Emma, "This is your spot. You'll be answering the phone. Your job is to take messages. Be polite and above all else, be accurate. You're not a salesperson. All you're doing is keeping things afloat until she gets back tomorrow. Do you think you can do that?"

Emma assured her that she could. "Very well, then. You get 30 minutes for lunch from 12 to 12:30. There's a cafeteria downstairs and some vending machines at the end of this corridor. Any questions?"

"No, ma'am," Emma said quietly as she took her seat. 

The phone rang constantly and by the time noon rolled around, Emma had a fairly large stack of notes neatly piled in front of her. At exactly 12 o'clock, she stood up to go downstairs. Before got to the elevator, another girl from a nearby cubicle saw her and said, "Hey! New girl! You wanna go to lunch togethuh?"

Emma turned around and saw her. She was a reverse image of Emma. Beautiful blonde hair, a great smile, pretty eyes, and big, soft, round...breasts. Like Emma, she was wearing a black, long-sleeved sweater but unlike Emma, she looked great in hers. Emma looked...well...like Emma.

"You must be the temp in fuh Jamie. She's nevuh out but I hear the flu's goin' around so she called in sick. I'm Crystal, by the way."

"Oh, hi. I'm Emma. It's nice to meet you, Crystal."

"Oh! You're the shy type. Okay. So listen. I don't see a wedding ring so I'm gonna assume you're single. Let me fill you in on this place. The guys around here will hit on anything in a skirt. You know what I mean? So unless you think the guy's like really cute, just ignore him. But don't ignore Mr. Braden if he says hello. He always eats with the employees and he usually talks to the new girls. Don't worry, hon. He's not gonna hit on you. He likes his girls with...well...let's just say, a little something up here." 

Crystal put her hands under her ample boobs and gave them a quick lift. As she did, one of the guys saw her and said, "Need some help with those, Crystal?"

"In your wet dreams!" she hollered back. "Ya see, what'd I tell ya?" she said to Emma.

"So anyway, Mr. Braden's just a really, really nice guy and every single girl—and most of us married ones if you know what I mean—got a huge crush on him. You'll know why when you see him." 

They both ordered a salad and a bottle of water and sat down to eat. Crystal kept yammering away about this guy and that girl and who was doing what and who was doing whom around the office. Emma did her best not to blush as Crystal talked about things like blow jobs and getting ate out. After several minutes, she suddenly stopped talking and said, "Oh, my Gawd. There's Mr. Braden! Now remembuh what I told you okay, hon? If he comes ovuh here just smile and answer his questions and that'll be fine, okay? If you impress him, he might even offer you a part-time job. Just be nice and above all else—be honest. If there's one thing he can't stand, it's a lieuh."

Emma looked around nervously and saw the most handsome man she'd ever seen walking toward their table. "Good aftuhnoon, Mr. Braden!" Crystal said in her 'city' accent.

"Crystal. Nice to see you. You had a great third quarter. Keep it up, okay? If you do, there'll be a nice bonus coming your way after New Year's." He looked at Emma and said, "I'm Chad Braden. May I?" He pointed to the empty seat and Emma sat there paralyzed with fear. He paused then said, "Do I know you?"

Crystal was absolutely beaming as she said, "Of course! Please have a seat. Emma is just a little shy. She's our temp who's in for Jamie Turnuh today."

"Oh, right. Must be the flu. Ms. Turner never misses a day. So, Emma is it? Where do I know you from?" he said.

"Oh, I'm sure we've never met, Mr. Braden. I don't get out much," Emma said as she picked at her salad.

"I never forget a face," Braden said. He took a bite of his tuna on rye and said, "You play the violin, don't you?"

Emma froze as Mr. Braden continued. "In fact, now I remember. I saw a video of you recently. My uncle's name is Damon Winslow and he was showing my mother a video of his most promising violin player. She called me over to watch and although I'm no musician, I have to say I was very impressed."

"Oh. Um...well...thank you very much. He's a very good teacher," Emma said quietly. She still hadn't made eye contact with Braden.

"Yes he is. He's also very strict. I'm glad I'm not taking lessons from him anymore," Braden said lightheartedly.

"You play the violin?" Emma asked with genuine surprise. For the first time, she managed to look at him.

"Not for a very long time, I'm afraid. I took lessons for two years but finally pitched such a fit my mom let me quit. I could barely play Turkey in the Straw by the time I gave up."

Emma laughed before she could put her hand over her mouth. "That's funny," she said. Her teeth weren't terrible, but both of her incisors overlapped making her whole smile look anything but beautiful. She was almost as self-conscious about her smile as she was about her...treasure chest. Then again, she wasn't thrilled about the thick, black glasses she wore, either. Very quickly she added, "I didn't mean that it was funny. I wasn't making fun of you or anything, I was just..."

"So you do talk," he said. "No offense taken. You have a gift, Emma. Why aren't you pursuing it full time? The better question is has my uncle introduced you to Kalen McElroy yet? If not, that's criminal."

"I know who he is, of course. But I can't imagine he'd be interested in someone like me. I mostly just play in church recitals and weddings and the like," Emma told him. "He's a very big name in terms of those who play the violin."

"Then I'm going to introduce you. You need to play for him. When are you free?" he asked.

"Me? Oh, my goodness. I don't know. I mean..."

"How about Friday evening at 7pm? I'll have my driver pick you up and bring you to my place. Play your best piece for him and my sense is he's gonna be wowed by you, Emma...? What's your last name?"

"Castillaw."

"You're gonna blow him away, Emma Castillaw." He slid his cell phone toward her and asked her to put her name, number, and address in his contacts list.

Emma's hands were shaking as she did so. She slid it back and Braden said, "Hmmm. My phone's wet. Is it raining in here?"

Crystal suppressed a laugh and Emma blushed heavily. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Braden. I just get so nervous around..." She stopped herself before saying 'handsome men' but not before she turned a deep shade of purple.


Life in A-Flat



Braden sensed her discomfort and decided to get rid of the other girl at the table. "Crystal? Can you do me a favor? Would you run upstairs and ask Bev to give me a call?"

"Right away, Mr. Braden!" she said. "Nice meeting you, Emma," she told her as she raced off happy to do anything to get into his good graces.

"I love Crystal but she can be...well...a bit intimidating. I actually just wanted to talk to you alone for a minute, Emma. Do you mind?"

Emma's face had returned to a light shade of red by this time as she said, "No, I guess not."

"You have a certain look about you, Emma. Has anyone ever told you you're a very pretty girl?"

Emma's capillaries opened wide and blood rushed into her face again with a fury.

Chad reached out and took her tiny little hand in his and said, "I am so sorry, Emma. I didn't mean to embarrass you like that. I was being sincere. You're clearly a very kind, very sweet girl and I...well...I can see things in people others can't."

"You can?" Emma asked without looking at him.

"I can," he told her. "And I see a beautiful young woman sitting right here in front of me. She just doesn't know she has so much potential." He paused then said, "But I do. I see it. May I tell you what I see, Miss Emma Castillaw?"

Without looking up, Emma said, "I guess so."

Braden let go of her hand and said, "You have such pretty eyes, Emma. They really are beautiful. And you've also got great cheekbones. Did you know that?"

"My mom has said that to me before but no one else ever has."

"Then your mother is a very smart, observant woman. I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but have you ever considered contact lenses so people can see just how beautiful your eyes are?"

Emma's heart was pounding out of her chest. She was shy, she was deeply embarrassed, and she'd just been given the first genuine compliment of her life by a man who was light years better looking than Bobby McAllister. And she wasn't sure how old he was but he wasn't...a boy...like Bobby.

"Not really. They're very expensive and my mom and I...we live alone. You know, since my dad passed away. Money is always tight so..."

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I lost my father several years ago, too." He'd only eaten half of his sandwich when his phone rang. It was Beverly. "I have to take this, Emma. But I really enjoyed meeting you and I'm looking forward to hearing you play. Please tell me you'll come."

"Um...okay. I'll do that," she told him quietly.

"Wonderful! I'll have my car pick you up at 6:00 so we can have some time to talk first if that's okay? And please wear something similar to what you're wearing today. It's a very flattering look on you."

Emma was certain he was setting her up for some kind of cruel punchline but it never came. An awkward silence fell over the table as he hit 'decline' on his phone. "On second thought, that can wait. Beverly doesn't like to be kept waiting and she's the one person I can't push around here, but I think I'm still the boss," he said jokingly. "I won't wait for just anyone, Emma, but you look like you have something else you need to say so I'm waiting."

Emma fidgeted for a moment then said, "Well, I don't want to appear ungrateful because I am grateful. In fact, I'm very grateful for this opportunity. It's just that...well...I know how I look and I know that this kind of thing doesn't look good on me because..." She couldn't say the word breasts in front of this handsome man. She felt herself blushing again as she said, "I mean, I'm just not built to wear things like this. Crystal, on the other hand is, but I'm..."

Braden held up a hand and said, "Emma, I really do have to run, but please believe me when I tell you something. I am many things, but I am not dishonest. In fact, I may be much too honest for some people's taste as I never lie to anyone. I think you look very nice. I don't agree with you that sweaters aren't flattering to your figure. In fact, just the opposite is true. You look very lovely and if you don't mind me saying so, I think you're very cute."

Braden stood up and Emma was utterly relieved as she was sure she was back to a deep shade of purple again. As he walked away Braden said, "Be ready at 6:00, okay?"

Emma nodded weakly and tried to muster a smile but a sheepish grin was all she could manage. Her head was swimming and her heart was still pounding. Her palms were a sweaty mess and she couldn't help but notice she was very, very wet...down there.

Emma practiced the same piece she'd played for Mr. Winslow. It was not only challenging, but it was one of her favorites. She played it over a dozen times before Friday until she had it down pat. She had to get in the shower at 4:30 so she could be ready to go by 6. She'd been fretting about what to wear since her talk with Mr. Braden. She only had two other sweaters and she only wore them when it was very cold. She had one that was a lime-colored green and she thought it would go well with her tan skirt. She didn't own a pair of heels so she chose a pair of flats that matched the skirt. Other than her confirmation cross, she also didn't own any jewelry beyond the silver studs she wore in her ears. She finished getting dressed then blow dried her hair. She rarely ever wore any makeup but tonight she put on a small amount of mascara and just a trace of eye liner. She was embarrassed to admit the reason why but if Mr. Braden really did like her eyes then...

She was also deeply ashamed of the fact that she'd replaced Bobby McAllister with Mr. Braden in her lustful fantasies. But he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen and he was also as kind as Crystal said he was. Her heart fluttered every time she thought of him and since she'd met him, she had trouble thinking of anything else.

She was standing by the door when the bell rang at exactly 6 o'clock. A man dressed as a chauffeur introduced himself and announced he was there to pick up one Emma Castillaw. He carried her violin case for her and opened the car's back door for her before setting the case next to her on the floor. Emma had never been in a limousine before and she was fascinated by the amount of things that were in it as well as by the size of it.

Her driver escorted her upstairs, opened the door to the penthouse, then asked her to wait. Moments later, Chad came out from the living room and said, "Well! Good evening, Miss Castillaw. You see, you look positively amazing in your pretty green sweater! Won't you come in and join me?"

He carried Emma's case into the living room where he'd set up a chair with a music stand for her. "So, this is the place," he announced as he showed her the setup. "Mr. McElroy will be seated here," he told her pointing to another chair some ten feet from hers.

"Would you care for something to drink? Some wine perhaps?" he asked.

"Oh, um...I'm not old enough to drink alcohol, sir. I've actually never even tried it." Emma could feel her face turning red again.

"That's okay. Perhaps a soft drink or some iced tea?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Emma said.

"Do I make you nervous, Emma?" Chad asked politely. "I don't mean to if that's the case."

"A little," Emma admitted. "You're just not like anyone else I've ever known," she said.

"In a good way or a bad way?" he asked with a smile.

"Well, it's just that you're so...nice...and so...handsome." Emma felt herself flush again. She hated that she couldn't control herself but cute boys always made her feel self-conscious. And Chad Braden was a very good-looking man. She fought with all her might to keep those images out of her mind.

They made small talk until Mr. McElroy arrived. He let it be known he had very little time and that he'd agreed to this only because Mr. Braden was such an influential man who'd generously donated to his musical endeavors.

"All right, young lady. I hear you are quite talented so please impress me."

Emma played for approximately 15 minutes before Mr. McElroy held up his hand. "Thank you, my dear. That's more than sufficient. Mr. Braden? She is nowhere near ready to play for the New York Philharmonic, but she can make a living playing the violin. I have several options to offer her. I can assure you both that on my word alone she can secure regular work in this city."

Mr. McElroy gave her the names of two people at two different locations. Both were lower-level orchestras. The third was with a local talent agency that would be able to place her with any of several other musical groups. He bid them both a good evening leaving Emma alone with Chad.

"Well done, Emma! Didn't I tell you I could see things in people?"

Emma was more excited than she'd ever been in her entire life. "Oh, Mr. Braden! I can't thank you enough! You are just the most wonderful man ever!" Before she could stop herself, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. In a moment, she realized what she'd done and went to pull herself away but couldn't. Chad had put his arms around her and was holding her, too.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Braden. I just got so excited that..."

He held her close and said, "I like you, Emma Castillaw. Will you have dinner with me sometime?"

Emma felt herself go beet red again. "You want to have dinner with...me?" she said without looking at him.

"Yes, I do. And I also want to kiss you right now. Would you mind?" He reached up and stroked her hair back away from her face which was still bright red.

"I don't understand why. I'm so...plain and you're so...beautiful," she said.

He lifted her chin up and waited for her to look at him. When she finally did, he said, "Please don't be embarrassed with me, Emma. And I want you to trust me when I tell you I see things others don't. I think you will soon see what I see, but I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet. I want to see whether or not you can."

Her eyes were darting back and forth between his as she said, "I've only kissed one other boy before and he only wanted to..." Emma's face turned scarlet.

"He only wanted one thing?" Chad asked her. "I promise I want more than that with you, Emma. Tonight, all I want is to kiss you. So would you mind?"

Emma could barely speak. She managed to croak out one word, "Okay." 

Chad softly placed his lips on hers and kissed her for several seconds. He wanted to feel her tongue but knew she would be afraid so he settled for one very nice first kiss. As their lips parted he said, "You have very soft, very full lips, too, Emma. I can't believe you don't see how beautiful you are."

Emma was breathing fast. Her hands were a sweaty mess. And she was feeling that 'tingling' in her female parts. "Thank you, Mr. Braden," she said trying to control the way her body was shaking.

"Will you please call me Chad, Emma?"

Emma just nodded. She couldn't even continue to look at him. She wanted to but he was SO handsome she thought he might blow up if she looked at his face too long. after all, how much ugly could a face like that stand? And yet HE told HER that SHE was pretty. Emma wanted to look at him but she also wanted to run. 

"Would you like me to take you home now?" he asked as he stroked her face.

"Yes. I mean, I think so. Is that okay?"

"Anything you want is okay with me, Emma. Let me get my keys, okay?"

Twenty minutes later he was in front of her rundown apartment building. Parking was a challenge anywhere in the city but he found a spot next to a fire hydrant. "You were amazing tonight, Emma. I hope you know that."

Emma sat there for some time then finally said, "Thank you, Mr...Chad. I had a very nice time."

"So did I, Emma." He waited for a moment then got out and went around the car to open her door. He helped her out, then reached in the back for her violin case. He set it next to her and said, "May I kiss you goodnight?"

Emma managed to look up at him and said shyly, "I would like that very much." She stood on her tiptoes and let him kiss her. This time, she let temptation get the best of her as she gently slid her tongue into his mouth. He responded immediately with his own and Emma was French kissed for the first time in her life.

When it ended, Emma's heart was racing but so was her head. She knew this didn't make sense. It didn't add up. She'd watched an episode of House in which Hugh Laurie said (referring to who dates whom), "You date your integer. Tens date tens, not fives." Emma knew from personal experience and just paying attention that was true. So she worked up the courage to ask, "Why is a man like you interested in a girl like me?"

Chad put his hands on her shoulders and said, "People date, hook up, shack up, and marry for any number of reasons, Emma. Most would say the reason is 'love.' But what is love other than a belief or a feeling that the other person will meet our needs? I'm neither proud nor ashamed to say that I've um...been with...many girls, Emma. Every one of them has been beautiful by by my own personal standards of beauty. But you're the first girl I've ever been interested in who is really interesting to me by all of my standards. And honestly? I've only recently begun to realize what the rest of those standards are. And from what I know about you, you meet all of them. Does that make sense to you?"

"I believe you're an honest person, Chad, but everything I know about people and human nature says this doesn't make any sense. I mean, look at me. No one has ever called me pretty and no one has ever asked me out on a date because he wanted to. And now here you are kissing me and telling me I am pretty when I know I'm not. Then when I look at you, I you I see the most handsome man I've ever seen so none of this makes any sense whatsoever. I may not be pretty but I have been told I'm pretty smart so please tell me where I'm wrong because I like you so much and I don't want to get hurt again."

Chad took her thin face in his hands and said, "Emma, when I look at you, I see all of my needs finally being met because I see the potential in you for making me happy. And once you see it in yourself, you'll be able to unleash everything that's hidden inside you. It's locked away somewhere deep in your heart but it IS there. I can sense it. Remember, I can see things in other people that even they can't see in themselves. So for now, until you find what I've found, can you just trust me?"

"I want to. I want to trust you and I want to believe you. But when everything you say contradicts everything I've ever learned or been taught, it's very hard."

Chad took her hands in his and said, "Has it ever occurred to you that everything you've been taught may be wrong?"

Emma was so caught off guard by that she couldn't answer at first. Finally she looked up at Chad and said, "No. I've never once thought that," she told him honestly. She thought for a moment then said, "But if it's true, it would explain so many things I don't understand but have just accepted for so many years. I need to spend some time thinking about that." She stood there for another moment as she realized how cold it was then said, "You're not only the best looking man I've ever seen, you're also the smartest. So if you tell me something is true then..."

Chad put his arms around her and kissed her again. Emma's body was on fire with a kind of passion she'd never felt before. She couldn't understand it but she somehow knew she wanted him. As he held her close, she pushed against his hard, muscular body and felt something hard push against hers. Emma instinctively pulled back and said, "Oh, my God!" Embarrassed beyond words, she grabbed her violin case and ran inside. 

Her mind was a jumbled mess of conflict. Sin, pleasure, restraint, desire, need, devotion, wants, duty. She thought her head might explode as she grabbed her rosary and began to pray. "Holy Mary, full of grace..." And yet later that same night she was in her bed, thinking about him, touching herself down...there.

On Monday morning, Emma called all three of her new contacts and made appointments with the person responsible for hiring new talent at each. The one that most interested her was the second place she went where she learned she could immediately play first-chair violin for the equivalent of an off-Broadway orchestra. She was told the starting salary was low, but Emma said she didn't care. She was currently making no money so any would be better than none. When she signed her contract and saw that 'low' meant $50,000 a year—which really a lot in New York City—she nearly screamed with glee! New York was one of the most expensive places to live on earth and while 50 grand wasn't life changing for anyone who lived there, but for her it may as well have been a million dollars. She would be able to help her mother get out of debt, move to a nicer apartment in a better part of town, and she already had plans for the $5,000 advance she'd received.

"We can make them right here," the optometrist told her. "We've been doing single-vision glasses on the premises in about an hour for decades and we can now do the same with contact lenses. Since nearsightedness is your only issue, we can have them ready for you by 10am." 

When Emma put her new soft lenses in for the first time, she was stunned at the difference! In place of the heavy, thick, lenses and black frames, all she could see were two very beautiful green eyes staring back at her. Chad had been absolutely right. The potential had there all along. She was so excited about the dramatic change she couldn't wait for her next appointment.

"So we'll go ahead and put the two new temporary veneers in place and we'll have the permanents back in two weeks," the dentist told her.

When his assistant finished the casts and put them over what was left of her two, formerly overlapping front teeth, she nearly cried. In their place were absolutely straight, perfectly white incisors reflected in the mirror she was holding. Emma was so taken aback by her teeth it took her a moment to look at herself again without her glasses. "Oh, my...goodness. I might really be pretty," she said to herself.

Perhaps the most shocking aspect of this transformation was the way people looked at her as she walked the two blocks back to her apartment. People, no...men...were looking at her. They were looking and they were smiling. She got cat calls from two of them along the lines of, "Hey there, cutie!" Emma even got whistled at for the first time in her life. Then again, she'd done something all the way home she'd never done before. She smiled. And for the first time, the world smiled back.

As Emma made her way upstairs to her mom's cluttered apartment, she was now sure she understood what Chad meant about potential. Maybe she really could be beautiful after all—if she could just reach her full potential. Then and there she made up her mind she would make one more very significant change to her body. While she fully intended to move her mother out of this tiny, run-down...flat...she was determined to move out of life in A-flat and into a new place. Perhaps it would be called C-sharp, as her dream of being a full-C cup was now a possibility.

Emma didn't own a cell phone so the first thing she did each time she came home was to check the answering machine. The number "7" was blinking and Emma began playing them back. "Hi, Emma. It's Chad. I was hoping to talk to you. Can you call me? Bye." There were five more just like it as well as one confirming her appointment with Dr. Armstrong, a plastic surgeon who specialized in breast augmentation. 

Emma thought her head was spinning when Chad had kissed her. That was nothing compared to the dizzying feeling she was getting when the thought hit her for the first time in her life. "I'm in love!" she said out loud. "Oh, my goodness. I'm in love with Chad Braden!"

Her heart was about to beat out of her chest—her very flat chest—when she dialed his number. When she heard the sound of her voice, her knees went weak. "Emma? I've been trying to reach you for...are you avoiding me?" Chad asked playfully.




Life in A-Flat



"No, of course not! I've been busy, that's all."

"Can I see you today?" he asked her.

"I have rehearsal from noon until four o'clock. But I'm free after that," she said hopefully.

"May I take you to dinner tonight?"

"Yes. I'd like that very much. What do you want me to wear and what time shall I expect you?"

"How does seven sound?"

"it sounds wonderful," she told him. "I can't wait to see you."

"And you can wear whatever you like, but I think you know my preference. I'll let you decide."

Emma's heart fluttered again when she hung up the phone and it beat even faster when she decided to go buy something new to wear for her...boyfriend? The sound of that was so intoxicating Emma felt faint. 

On the way home from rehearsal she stopped at a store she could have never shopped in and found something she would never have chosen to wear. But where Chad was concerned, she would wear anything he liked. She realized she was at the point where she would also do anything he liked and that thought both thrilled and frightened her. She chose a very dressy, dark red sweater with a low neckline and a charcoal gray skirt and a pair of black 3-inch heels. Emma had never bought a single piece of jewelry in her life, but she couldn't resist the prettiest set of silver earrings and a matching necklace. So much for her advance. Then again, she had a job and she could finally afford to buy herself some of the things she wanted. She could only hope Chad would like them as much as she did. 

Emma's heart had begun beating fast again as the time grew near. It went into turbo mode when she heard the knock on her door. She opened it just a bit to make sure it was him before unchaining it and letting him in.

"Hi!" she said with a smile she couldn't hide.

"Oh, my goodness! Look at you!" he said. "You look amazing!"

"Do you like it?" Emma asked pensively. "Please tell me you do?" Her eyes were hopeful and she needed his reassurance.

"How could I not?" he told her. "I told you you had the most beautiful eyes hiding behind those glasses. And your smile is to-die-for gorgeous." He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Like you." 

"Do you like the clothes I bought for you?" 

"Rather than say anything, let me show you how much I like them." Emma melted into his arms as he kissed her. With her confidence soaring, Emma kissed him back and quickly offered him her tongue. She was tingling in that place—down there—as their tongues danced. She was yearning for him with all her being until he slid his hand down her arm and over to her...the place where a soft, round breast should be. The feelings of inadequacy and the guilt she'd felt when Bobby had done that came flooding back. She reflexively recoiled and stepped back.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

Shaken, Emma said, "I'm sorry. I'm just so...self-conscious about that part of my body. It's the other thing I want to change as soon as I can."

"Can we talk?" Chad asked her. "Let's sit down here for a minute."

Emma joined him on the ratty old couch. Chad took her hand but Emma's confidence was shot. She couldn't look at him again. Undeterred, Chad began by saying, "I told you I'm an honest person and I will never lie to you. Do you believe me?"

Emma thought about everything he'd said and done so far and could find no reason to disagree. "Yes," she said quietly.

"So if I tell you I love the way your body looks right now, will you trust me?"

Emma was dealing with years of self loathing with this particular issue being the center of it. She was convinced—she knew—she was unattractive as a woman because frankly, she didn't look like one. She looked like a little girl or even a boy. Sure, she had to admit her eyes and her smile were indeed pretty, but she couldn't accept that anyone could find...that...attractive.

"I want to," she began. "But everyone else and everything else says my body looks...plain. I was going to say 'ugly' or 'hideous' but I thought you might be mad at me."

"Emma? Why would I be mad at you? You've had years to form this self image and it's going to take time to change it. Look, you've already turned a pretty face into one that's stunningly beautiful. Now let me assure you I find your body to be perfect. It is very...desirable."

Emma knew it was useless to try and fight off blushing. When she heard the man she fantasized about say she was desirable, it was as if he knew about her secret. Her evil, wicked secret. He saw things. He knew things. But he couldn't know that, could he? The secret touching, the softest moans, the ache she felt for him to be...inside her. Could he?

Emma was still looking down when she said, "I've been teased about my...my...my lack of well, you know...so many times I can't possibly feel any other way about it. Both boys and girls have made fun of me for years and all I've ever wanted is to look like a beautiful woman." She forced herself to look at the man she loved and say, "And now I want that...for you. I want to be beautiful for you." She wanted to tell him how she felt so bad it seemed as though she might explode, but if she told him and he didn't feel the same way about her, it would kill her.

"But you are beautiful, Emma." He slid closer to her and put his arm around her shoulder and brushed back her plain, brown hair. "Have you heard the saying 'there's someone for everyone?'"

"Sure," she replied.

"Then how can that be true if you're so unattractive?"

Emma looked confused. "I don't understand."

"Well, is it possible the problem isn't that you're unattractive, but that you haven't yet learned that not all men want the same thing?"

Emma still had a perplexed look on her face.

"For as long as you can remember, what have you seen? You've been shown endless examples of how men like women with big boobs. These women are on TV, they're in magazines, there are ads for cosmetic surgery everywhere, and Victoria's Secret makes bigger seem better. Are you with me so far?"

"Of course. That's reality. That's the way things are. That's why I want to have...them...too."

"But what if you're missing something very important? What if there are men who prefer women who look like you?"

Emma couldn't stifle a snort. "Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. That just seems impossible. No one wants to see a girl who looks like a...boy." Chad laughed. "That's not funny! Please don't be mean."

Chad smoothed her hair and said, "I didn't mean to be mean, Emma. But even what you just said isn't true."

"What? I'm so confused. I'm not dumb. I was my school's valedictorian, but I feel like a little child when you talk to me. How can that not be true?"

Chad took her hand and said, "There really men who like not only girls who look like boys, but there are men who actually like boys. I'm not one of them, but I am one of those who really, really like girls who look...well, just like you, Emma Castillaw."

"You're just saying that," she said. "No one really feels that way."

Chad sighed and said, "I want you to meet someone after dinner tonight, okay?"

"Who?" Emma asked.

"Just a good friend of mine. I want you to talk to her and see if doing so makes you feel any better. Will you do that for me?" he asked.

"Okay. I guess so," she told him. "And I'm sorry I pulled away from you. I really like when you kiss me," she said sheepishly. "Could we do that again?"

Chad pulled her close and kissed her long and passionately. "Time for dinner," he said as they came up for air.

Two hours later, Emma told him on the way to his car, "That was wonderful. Thank you so much for dinner, Chad." 

After about 45 minutes, they found themselves on the Upper East Side. Chad pulled into a private parking garage where a valet was expecting him. He parked the car while Chad took Emma to a private entrance.

"Where are we?" she asked. "This place is even more expensive and upscale than your place and yours is very nice."

"It belongs to a friend," he told her as they got on the elevator for the top floor.

"Which penthouse does she own?" Emma asked.

"The entire building," he told her as the exited on the 75th floor.

"Oh, my goodness! This is amazing!" she exclaimed.

"Wait 'til we get inside," he warned her.

A doorman, who was also expecting them, opened the monstrously large entrance to the penthouse. As they stepped inside, a woman who appeared to well into her '70s was waiting. "Chad! It's so wonderful to see you again! How long has it been?" she asked.

"Too long, Ella. Much too long."

"And who is this beautiful creature?" she asked as she looked Emma up and down with what appeared to be a very experienced eye.

"This is my girl...sorry. I'm being presumptuous. This is my friend, Emma."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, my dear. I can see why Chad finds you so adorable. Please come in and have a seat. I was just getting ready to have a nightcap. Brandy for you two?" she asked pleasantly.

Chad looked at Emma who shook her head 'no' which made him tell Ella, "No, thanks, El. We're fine."

A servant brought the elderly lady a snifter of brandy. She checked the aroma then dismissed him with a wave of the hand. She took a sip and said, "Oh, my. This is truly the nectar of the gods."

She sat the glass down then said, "So, Emma. How old are you, dear?"

"I'm 19," Emma told her.

"That's close to the end of the line, Chad," she said with an air of authority.

"True, but she has a year or two left and there are places after that for someone her age. You taught me that," he countered.

"You never forget a thing, do you? That's a big part of the reason you've taken your late father's new business to unheard-of new heights. Yes, she might have a year or so left at the highest levels, but I'm afraid that would be it. As you say, there are places for older girls, but the rewards are much less significant."

Emma looked first at Ella then at Chad before saying, "Can someone please tell me what's going on? It seems as though you're both talking about me as though I'm not sitting right here."

"El runs the most prestigious modeling agency in the world, Emma," Chad said matter of factly.

"Ran," Ella corrected him immediately. "I grew tired of the business last year and sold it but I retain the right to place any girl I like within the agency."

"Place a girl? I really don't understand," Emma said with a look of genuine confusion on her face.

"Barnard?"

The servant was by her side in less than three seconds. "Madame?"

"Have Carolyn see to this young lady. Three different outfits from the latest line. Post haste."

"Yes, madame. Young lady? Will you accompany me, please?"

Emma's look turned desperate. "Chad?"

"Trust me, Emma. Please.

Emma stood up and went with Barnard who took into another area of the penthouse where a woman who must be Carolynn was waiting. "Well, I can see why you made it this far. You're the fifth girl someone has brought to Ella since she retired but the only one she's asked to see model something for her."

"Model? Me? Can you please tell me what's going on here?" Emma begged her.

"You may change in there," Carolyn told her pointing to a large room. "And remove that silly training bra you're wearing. You clearly have no need for it and it will entirely ruin the look."

Emma burned with embarrassment and indignation but she wasn't the type to argue. She always did as she was told, so went into the room and removed her clothes. She was disgusted, as always, when she saw her curveless figure in the full-length mirror.

"Try on the gown first," she heard Carolyn say.

The gown was beautiful. It looked like it was made of mostly silk and possibly something like rayon, but Emma barely knew anything about J Crew fashions let alone this label. Vera Wang is what it said. Emma slid into it then noticed it the neckline was very deep. It showed off a large portion of her chest where she should have had cleavage. Instead, there was just a very large, unsightly breast bone and two protruding collar bones. Emma was feeling even more despondent as she saw herself. The gown was stunning but she looked—ridiculous. She put on the 4" heels that went with the gown as well as a silver choker that was paired with it then she forced herself to step outside. 

"Oh, my," Carolyn said. "Yes. This does make sense."

"What makes sense? Why am I doing this? Can you please explain what's going on here?" Emma cried.

"Follow me, please," Carolyn directed.

As Emma walked into the room where she'd been initially, the conversation stopped. Ella again looked her over then said, "Very nice. Walk for me, my dear. And please strut."

Emma looked at Chad who nodded and mouthed, "Go ahead."

Emma had no idea how to strut so she walked. Slowly. Carefully. She'd only worn heels once and they were 2 inches high. She was deathly afraid she would fall and break her ankle. As she took the first few steps, Carolyn said harshly, "No, no, no! Like this!" She put one hand on her hip then began walking quickly while lifting each leg high and placing it directly in front of the other. "Now you do it. Strut!"

Emma was beyond intimidated and near tears. She just wanted this to be over. Chad stood up and walked over to her. "Please do this. For me? Please? Be brave, Emma. And be bold. Just like that—strut."

Emma blinked back a tear and said, "Okay. I'll try. For you."

She put her hand on her hip the way she'd seen Carolyn and tried her best to imitate her walk. She made it about ten steps before she lost her balance and nearly fell. She was so frightened and upset she said, "I don't want to do this anymore! Can you please take me home now?"

"That's all right, dear. I've seen enough. Can you have her ready in one week?" she asked Carolyn.

"One week? You can't be..."

"Yes or no, Carolyn?"

Carolyn looked visibly shaken. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Then we'll start tomorrow morning. Chad, can you have her here at 9 o'clock?"

Emma finally reached her breaking point. "Everyone stop! I'm standing right here! I can't be here tomorrow because I have violin rehearsal and I need that job and the money it brings to help my mother. So I will be there tomorrow and not here!"

Ella asked pointedly, "How much are we talking about, my dear?"

Emma hated braggarts but she found the courage to say, "Fifty-thousand dollars."

"Oh, my. I'm afraid I can't top that. Not for one show. She's very good, Chad, but fifty thousand is my limit."

Chad stepped in said, "El? That's what Emma's being offered per year."

Ella cackled and said, "Oh, my! I assumed you were a world-class violinist, my dear. That's the source of the confusion. It would appear you are at the crossroads of not one, but two potential new careers. One pays $50,000 per year, the other $50,000 per night. I'm sure the two of you will reach a decision this evening and let me know before tomorrow morning. I do hope to see you here, my dear."

Emma once again found herself in a swirling vortex of confusion. "I'm going to be...modeling? But I can't. I mean, not like...this. I have an appointment with a cosmetic surgeon to enhance my..."

Ella threw up her hands and said, "Oh, my Lord! Chad, talk some sense into this girl. She can't be serious! Doing that will destroy any chance she has in this business for whatever time she has left. Please, for God's sake, talk to this child!" Ella stood and without another word, turned and walked out.

Chad understood that was their cue to leave. Carolyn showed Emma back to the changing area and said, "Well, you've clearly impressed Ella in spite of your little tumble. I hope you can understand why I'm not so impressed."

Emma was clueless. "I'm sorry but I really don't understand any of this."

"Then let me spell it out for you. I was discovered at the age of 14. I had to diet and starve myself to stay as thin as you are naturally. I was always hungry and miserable and by the time I was 20, I was too old to do this anymore. Yet you waltz in—no, make that stumble in at 19 and land a show without any experience whatsoever. The only reason is because you have the body people like me nearly died trying to get. So you'll excuse me if I'm just a little bit bitter about your unearned and undeserved success."

Emma tired not to cry as she changed back into her 'street clothes.' This was supposed to be a learning experience but all Emma had learned was that Carolyn hated her. She dried her eyes with a tissue then readied herself to meet Chad in the parlor. Ella had retired for the evening and was therefore nowhere to be found. Emma still had a lot of questions for him but things were beginning to become clearer in her mind.

On the elevator ride down, Chad asked her, "So what did you think?"

"Other than finding out Carolyn hates me, I'm not sure," she told him honestly. "Was that an audition for a fashion show or your way of proving to me you were right?"

"I think you know it was both, Emma. And don't worry about Carolyn. She's been bitter for the last 20 years since her own modeling career came to an end. Ella pays her well for the things she does, but being nice isn't one of them. I'm just glad to hear you admit I was right—again."

She hit him playfully then said, "If you hadn't done this, I would have gone ahead and had great big..." Emma had never said any word but breast before, but she was feeling so happy she decided to take a huge risk and said, "Boobs." She noticed she didn't blush this time which was such a nice change. As was having Chad in her life. As was feeling...beautiful. She suddenly wanted to feel so many other things.

"And had you done that, I would have lost interest in you," he said as they left the main building.

"Really?"

"Yes, really," he told her.

"Can you tell me why?" she asked sincerely. "Don't you like big boobs?"

Chad laughed and said, "I told you there's someone for everyone, Emma. No matter how much society tells us 'one size fits all' with regard to anything, you can be sure it doesn't. Some guys like girls with really short hair. Some guys like very, very large women. Some have fetishes for high heels or leather. Some even find girls who smoke sexy as hell. I think girls who look like you are the most attractive of all. Is that really so surprising to you? That not everyone wants the same thing?"

"You know, I have to admit I never once thought about that, but after hearing you explain that way, it seems so clear to me now. But guys like you have to be a very small minority, right? That makes me wonder if you hadn't come into my life if I'd have ever learned this...or met you." She thought for a moment and said, "I guess being the smartest girl in your class doesn't necessarily make her all that smart."

Chad laughed again and said, "You learn quickly, Emma. I like that about you. And you are smart. And pretty. And desirable. And you're going to be very wealthy soon. So, do you still want me to take you home?" Chad asked as the valet brought his car.

"No," Emma said quietly. 

"Then where would you like the to take you?" he asked her.

Emma looked over at him and said as though someone else was speaking for her, "To bed. With you." Suddenly, her confidence faded and she said, "I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. I can't believe I said that. A man like you would never want to..."

Chad pulled her close and kissed her hard. He kept kissing her until she melted in his arms. Then he slid his hand down to where it had been earlier and heard Emma gasp. "Doesn't that feel good?" he whispered.

"Yes," she purred. "It feels wonderful." She pushed up against him as she'd done before and found what she wanted. "So does that," she said as she ground against his erection.

"Is that what you want tonight, sweetheart?" he asked as he kissed her again.




Life in A-Flat



"Yes. More than anything," she moaned.

"And I want to take you to bed more than anything. Is that so hard to believe?"

Emma and sighed and said, "No. Not after tonight Once again, you're right." In another surge of confidence she slid her hands down below his waist and...touched him. "It might not be that hard to believe anymore, but something is definitely very hard," she said without blushing.

"When we get home, I'm going to show you just how hard it is."

"I can't wait," she said as they kissed again.

Emma's head was once again spinning out of control. She wanted him so bad, but she was a good Catholic girl. Just lusting after Bobby had gotten her into so much trouble. She wanted to feel him inside her mouth and inside...her...just like Daddy had done to Mother but Emma was a virgin and she'd been told sex was very painful. And what if she got pregnant? Abortion was a mortal sin! Would Chad marry her? Would her mother disown her? Would Father McKenna shun her? 

By the time they got to his place, Emma felt like she might throw up. When Chad reached over to take her hand once they were inside, it was soaking wet. "Nervous?" he asked her.

"I was nervous on the way over. Now I feel like I'm going to be sick," she told him.

"I have just the thing for you. Wait right here."

Chad came back in a minute with two small pills. "What are these?" Emma asked with concern. 

"Don't worry. They're not date-rape drugs. One is valium and the other contains THC," he explained.

"Like in marijuana?" Emma asked with growing worry.

"Yes, just like in marijuana. It will take away the nausea and the valium will help you relax. But if you've changed your mind, I won't pressure you. This needs to be your decision, Emma. I want to make love with you, but I won't ever take advantage of you."

"Chad? May I ask you something?" she said.

"Of course. Anything."

"How old are you? I mean, I don't really care because I really, really like you. I guess I just want to know. So will you tell me?"

"I'm 43," he said reluctantly. "I was wondering when you'd ask. Now that you know, do you want me to take you home?" he said respectfully.

Emma looked away and then at the two pills in her hand. She had never felt so torn about anything in her life. She wanted to be with this handsome man. This handsome, much older man, but she also wanted to be a good girl. Her body ached for him yet she was so unsure.

"No, I don't want to go home. I want to tell you something else. But you have to promise not to laugh at me or tease me. Will you promise?"

"I promise," he assured her. 

She forced herself to look directly at him as she said, "I'm scared."

Chad moved next to her and put his arm around her and said, "Don't be. I'll be as gentle as anyone could be. It won't hurt. I promise."

Emma shook her head and said, "Not about that. That doesn't scare me."

"Then what does, sweetheart?" he asked her. "What are you so afraid of?"

Emma looked into his eyes and said, "I'm falling in love with you and if you don't feel that way about me then..."

Chad turned sideways to look at her more directly. He picked up both of her hands and said, "Emma? I've been waiting for you for years. I've wasted so much time with women I had no interest in beyond just having sex. But from the first time I saw you, I knew you were the one. I've just been waiting for you to figure all this out. I love you, too."

Emma was overwhelmed with emotion. She felt her face screw up as she began to cry. "I love you so much. I want to be with you more than anything in the world." She sat the pills down on the coffee table and said, "Will you please teach me how to make love to you?"

Chad scooped her up and carried him to his bedroom. He sat her on the edge of his kingsized bed then asked to wait while he lit several candles before turning off the lights. "I do want to be able to see your beautiful body," he told her as the lights went out. 

The candles flickered softly as Chad sat next to her and stared into her eyes. "I love you, Emma Castillaw," he said as he leaned over to kiss her.

Emma put one arm around his neck as she kissed him back. She loved the feeling of his tongue deep in her mouth. It seemed to be a metaphor for the thing she most wanted inside of her.

"Unbutton my shirt for me," he urged her.

"Okay," she said. She undid one button then Chad kissed her softly. Then the next followed by another long kiss. Emma untucked the expensive button-down shirt then lifted it off of her handsome, older lover. 

"What do you think?" he asked as she ran her hand through the hair on his chest.

"I think I love what I see." She ran her hands over his chest and down toward his stomach.

"Go ahead," he whispered as she reached for his belt buckle.

As she carefully removed it, he kissed her and ran his hands along the sleeves of her beautiful, dark red sweater. Emma unsnapped his gabardine pants. Chad lifted up so she could slide them to the floor. His cock was straining against the navy-blue boxers he was wearing and Emma gasped when she felt it.

"You're trembling," he said to her. "Are you okay? Are you still afraid."

Emma shook her head. "No, I'm not afraid. I'm just excited. I've dreamed of this so many times."

"So have I," he told her as he kissed her soft, full lips. 

Chad helped her remove his underwear exposing his nearly erect cock. "Have you ever..." he began.

"No. I've never even seen a...penis...before, she admitted as she held his in her tiny hand. "It's so...beautiful," she said as she stroked it tentatively. "I'm so sorry, but I don't exactly know what you want me to do with it," she confessed.

"What would like to do with it, honey?" he asked. "It's yours to do with as you please."

Emma remembered the image of that night and without another word she slid off the bed and got onto her knees in front of her lover. "This," she said as she took it in her hand then took it into her warm, waiting mouth. She'd waited for this moment for so very long and she was excited beyond belief yet she had to admit she had no idea what to do from here.

"That feels wonderful, sweetheart," he said. "Can you use your lips and tongue as you go up and down with your mouth?"

"Yes," Emma said in a whisper as she did as she was told. She took the head back in her mouth then slid as far down as she felt she could take then back up. She heard Chad moan as she repeated her actions several more times. "Like that?" she asked as he popped out of her mouth.

"That's perfect, Emma. Please don't stop." Emma continued to suck his now rock-hard cock. She loved the way it felt in her mouth. It made her so happy to know she was giving the man she loved so much pleasure.

"Can you look at me?" Chad asked as he stroked her hair. "I want to see your beautiful eyes while you suck my cock." Emma winced and Chad said, "Sorry. Was that too much for you?"

"Uh, uh," Emma said in between slurps. "It's just that I've only heard boys say that when they talk dirty." She took him back in her mouth for another few strokes then said, "I love sucking your cock."

Before Chad came, he pulled Emma's hair back letting her know to stop. "My turn," he told her. "Just relax and trust me, okay?" he said.

"I will and I do," she told him as she fell back onto the bed.

Chan kissed her slowly and then more passionately. He let his hand move down to her very flat, very sexy breasts and rub the nipples under her soft sweater. "Feel good?" he asked her.

"Yesss," Emma moaned.

Chad pulled her top off exposing her completely flat chest which consisted of two very large, very round, very erect nipples. "You're so beautiful, honey," he told her as he lowered his mouth onto her right nipple. His tongue swirled around it causing Emma to moan loudly.

"Ooh, sorry! I didn't mean to be so loud," she said.

"No, don't be sorry. Be vocal. Let me know when you like something. No one else can hear us so feel free to say or do anything you want, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered. "That feels so good."

Chad began sucking her areola while running the width and length of his tongue over the nipple itself. "Oh, my goodness. That feels SO wonderful," Emma cried.

As he moved to her other nipple, he ran his left hand down her stomach toward her skirt and with the palm only, he pressed down gently on her mound. Emma whimpered softly as he did. "Does that feel good, my love?" he asked her.

Emma only nodded. Her hands were on his head running her fingers through his thick, dark hair. Chad used the edge of his index finger to slide along her slit through the material of her skirt. Emma gasped as he did. "Help me get you out of this, okay?" he asked.

Emma raised up, unzipped her skirt in the back and let Chad pull it down. "You okay so far?" he asked her.

"More than okay. This is amazing," she said. Her breathing was heavier now.

Chad lowered himself between her legs and used his thumb to fondle her clit through her wet panties. "Oh, my..." Emma said.

"Go ahead. Say what you're feeling," he encouraged her.

"I can't. It's so...wrong," she replied.

"Nothing is wrong with two people who love one another being together like this, honey. God created sex for us to enjoy. So relax and enjoy it."

Emma's first thought was that sex was only for married people but the wonderful feelings her body were sending her shut out all other thoughts. Chad slid her black panties down her rail-thin legs exposing a tuft of light-brown hair. "Mmmm. Your pussy is so beautiful, Emma," he said as he kissed it for the first time.

Emma reflexively pulled back then said, "Sorry. That just surprised me. It felt so...wonderful. I love that."

Chad was the first man to ever slide his tongue inside of Emma Castillaw's soaking wet pussy. As he did, he felt her body shudder slightly. He lifted his tongue until it made contact with the bottom of Emma's clit. He continued until it gently rolled up and over the entire button. On the third repetition, he felt Emma's body tense. "Oh, my...GOD!" Emma screamed. "Oh, God! That feels so...good! Oh, God!" Emma had her first orgasm that wasn't induced by herself.

"That's just the beginning," Chad told her.

He moved up beside her and kissed her. As he did, he slid his middle finger inside her pussy and probed for a hymen. When he found it, Emma winced. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yes. Very okay. Just don't hurt me, okay?" she moaned.

Chad pushed softly at first and then increased the pressure. As he did, he took her tongue into her mouth. He told her to give him just the tip of her tongue which she did. Just as he began to push hard on her virginity, he bit the tip of her tongue. At the same time, he broke through the barrier of her vagina and said, "Did that hurt?"

"A little. After all, you did bite my tongue," she said playfully.

"Nothing else hurt?" he asked. Emma shook her head.

"Mmmm. I think I'm ready for you, honey."

"What do you want me to do, Emma?" he asked as he played with her pussy.

"Mmmm. I want you to...I want you to...fuck me. Will you please fuck me, sweetheart?"

Chad raised up and reached for a condom.

"Uh, uh. Without that. Fuck me without that, okay? Please?"

Chad tossed the small pack away and got ready to mount her. "Take your hand and line me up, okay?"

Emma reached down and found his massive hard on and placed the head directly in line with her pussy lips. "I'm ready for you, Chad. Fuck my pussy. Please?"

Chad slid in ever so slowly. Emma was drenched with juices. Even so, he was careful to take it easy. One inch and back, two inches then back. Then three. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yes! Oh, fuck! That feels SO good. Oh, God!" Emma cried.

He pushed further and was in six inches when she began pulling him toward her. He gave her what she wanted and was soon buried to the hilt inside her pussy. "Feel good?" he asked.

"Oh, my fucking God! That feels SO amazing. Oh, fuuuckkk..."

Chad stroked her pussy slowly two or three more times. Emma's moans told him she was fine. He picked up the pace as Emma put her arms around him. He began pounding her furiously; the sound of his balls slapping hard against her ass. Emma was panting hard and moaning loudly.

"Oh, God! Oh, yes! Oh...shit. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. Fuck my Catholic whore ass!" she screamed as she recalled her mother doing wicked things with her daddy. Now she finally understand why Mother had screamed like that. Sex felt SO good!

Chad drove it home harder and harder until he felt Emma's body tense again. Her nails dug deep into his back as she screamed as loud as anyone he'd ever heard. "Oh, fucking Mother of God! Fuck me! Fuck my pussy! Oh, my God! Yes, yes, yes!! Oh, Jesus. Oh, fuck..." she gasped.

Chad let go and began releasing huge amounts of cum into his beautiful girlfriend. His model. His musician. His...lover. Spent, he collapsed on top of her with his still-hard cock inside her.

"So was it okay?" he asked her.

Emma was crying and shaking her head. "Okay?" she sobbed. "It was more beautiful than anything I ever imagined. Oh, God. I am so in love with you. Please tell me you love me?"

Chad wiped away her tears and said, "I do love you, Emma Castillaw." He kissed her then looked into her beautiful eyes and asked, "Will you marry me?"

Emma's eyes opened so wide he couldn't believe it. There were tears and a runny nose and mascara everywhere as Emma nodded her head over and over and said, "Yes! Yes, I will marry you, Chad. Oh God, I love you!"

And Emma didn't literally mean she loved God. She meant she loved this wonderful, handsome, older man who brought out all of the potential within her. 

Within a month, her mom had her own place in a wonderful, safe apartment in Manhattan and Emma had moved in with her new lover. She wore a huge diamond solitaire ring on her left hand, and she had ten more shows lined up in the next six months. The money was nice, but Chad Braden was the love of her life and she was now happy to live the rest of it in A-flat.