17 comments/ 18343 views/ 29 favorites Free Fall Ch. 02 By: angel_grant "Are you coming to the flea market with us this morning, Zoe?" My grandfather put his newspaper down and looked at me. He was still in his robe, his short grey hair a little mussed from bed. He gave me an affectionate smile. "No, not this week." I tried to sound casual, but my heart jumped a little. "I'm going to the zoo with Nico and Lena." "Oh, that sounds fun," my grandfather said. "We haven't been to the zoo in years. Not since you were little." "Yeah, I know. It's been a long time. I know they built that new polar bear exhibit a few years ago, I'm looking forward to seeing that." I ran my eyes over the crossword clues, not really reading any of them. My grandmother put down her section of the paper and said, "Just the three of you? The boys aren't coming?" My grandmother was too smart. I didn't even have to look, I could hear it in her voice; she knew. "They're at a birthday party, so, yeah, just us." I was still going for casual. I was pretty sure I was failing. I looked up to find her watching me, one of her eyebrows arched just a little. She knew me too well. All she said was, "That sounds nice," but her eyebrow and the length of time she watched me said she knew there was more to the story. I felt like I was lying, although I hadn't made anything up. Nico and I really were taking Lena to the zoo, and Rose really was taking Jack and Will to a birthday party. The facts were correct, I just hadn't mentioned how excited I was about spending the whole day with just Nico and Lena. I hadn't mentioned my nervous excitement or my hope that he'd kiss me once or twice before the day was through. I hated feeling sneaky, but this thing with Nico had just happened, I didn't even really know what the thing was. Less than 48 hours ago he'd kissed me for the first time. Things had escalated pretty quickly after that kiss, and I came home at midnight, disheveled and blissful, having just had the most incredible sex of my life. Granted, my life had only spanned 22 years so far, and only 4 of those years had contained sex of any kind, but what had happened with Nico was in a completely different emotional league from anything that had happened in college. "We're going to get an early start," my grandfather said, picking up the thread of our conversation. He obviously hadn't noticed anything noteworthy in my reply to his question like my grandmother had. "Try to beat the crowds. In fact, I should go get a shower." I tried not to show my relief, but I realized they wouldn't be at the house when Nico came to pick me up. I'd been kind of dreading that, and especially after seeing my grandmother's shrewd expression, I was relieved I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt in the moment. My grandparents knew Nico, and they had great respect for him as an artist, a craftsman, and as a person. He'd done a beautiful job with the design and installation of their patio, and he'd impressed them with his polite manner and modesty. They really liked him, but he was probably not their first pick for a boyfriend for me. The gap of 14 years between our ages would no doubt be a concern to them both. If Nico and I started dating for real, I would have to tell them, of course, and face whatever disapproval they might have. But for now, I was glad for the reprieve; I was really looking forward to enjoying the day. // It took me a whole hour to get dressed. It was going to be a hot August day, and the majority of the zoo visit would be spent in the sun walking around, so I needed something cool that wouldn't look awful once I got sweaty and tired. I knew Nico had already seen me sweaty and tired—it was pretty much how I always looked when I saw him thanks to an unusually hot summer and the lack of air conditioning in Rose's house—so he probably wouldn't care, but I cared. I wanted to look good for our first date. I settled on a simple floral sundress in white, blue and green. It had thin straps, a fitted bodice, and a flared skirt that stopped a few inches above my knees. It was cute, but still practical for a whole day of walking, looked fine with my white keds, and still showed off quite a bit of skin. I put my red hair up in a loose ponytail, pleased with the strands that hung loose at the nape of my neck—just a little sexy, but not overdone. I heard the rumble of Nico's truck when he pulled up and my heart raced a little. From the kitchen window, I saw Lena dart across the yard, and then Nico followed behind. I greeted the enthusiastic five year old first, letting her into the house and leaning down to give her a hug. Her excitement was unrestrained and she babbled excitedly for a few minutes about the animals she wanted to see. "We checked the website before we came," Nico explained once she'd stopped. "For the zoo's hours, but then we looked at the exhibits, too. So, we're a little excited." "Good," I said. "Me, too. I can't wait." I locked the door behind me and followed Nico across the patio he'd installed. He turned once he'd reached the path to wait for me, and the sun lit up every silver hair on his curly brown head. He smiled and it almost took my breath away, that smile. The first time I'd seen him in anything but work clothes was two days ago, on the Friday night we'd spent together. He'd looked so sexy in just a clean t-shirt and jeans, but this Nico was even sexier. He wore a short-sleeved cream colored button shirt, untucked over jeans, and pair of black, flat-soled sneakers. The white shirt looked great on his bare olive-brown arms, and was loose enough in the collar I could just see some chest hair peeking out. My body responded with a pleasant flush of arousal. Already. The drive was more than an hour, but the time went fast. We got the zoo just as it opened and joined the crowd of families at the gate. I got such a thrill knowing anyone who looked at us would just see a couple and their daughter out for the day; that was definitely the fantasy I was entertaining. It was sunny, hot, and humid, and I should have been exhausted, but while I was hot, the heat I felt wasn't from the weather, it was from the low buzz of arousal I felt throughout my whole body. All it took was being with Nico, catching his eye from time to time, and seeing him with his daughter, to turn me on. I didn't feel the heat at all; I was too busy falling in love. I wasn't sure how open he wanted to be in front of Lena, so I let him take the lead. He was the one who took my hand, and then he was the one who kissed me. Once, after we'd ducked into a shady spot to get a better view of the kangaroos—just a quick brush of his lips across my cheek—and then again later in the day while we were watching Lena playing in one of the little playgrounds in the park, he moved behind me and slid both hands to my waist, bent and pressed a soft kiss just behind my ear. It lasted all of a second, but I felt pleasure zing from all the points of contact down through my body and right between my legs. We ate a late lunch at the overpriced snack bar, and then got ice cream and sat on a bench in some shade to eat it. Lena sat on my lap, and I could tell by the way she leaned back against me she was tired. "We've only got a few more exhibits left," Nico said. He was studying the park map. I was studying his profile, especially the curves of his mouth. He smiled when he turned to look at me and found me staring. "Are you too tired to keep going?" "No, I think I can make it." I was tired now that we'd sat down, but I was in no hurry to end our day together. I glanced down at Lena who had a glazed expression on her face. "I think someone might need to be carried, though." After we'd cleaned up, Nico put Lena on his shoulders and took my hand. We walked the rest of the zoo at a leisurely pace, my head swimming a little from the familial picture we presented. I was tired and hot, but happy, so happy. From the way Nico looked at me as we walked the gravel paths, and the smile on his face, I guessed he was feeling something similar. We lasted another hour. By the end of that hour my feet were starting to hurt and I longed to sit down for real. Lena was so sleepy she didn't even ask for anything from the the gift shop as we walked through, she just sat on her dad's shoulders as we made our way to the park's exit. Nico, who was used to working hard and functioning on not enough sleep seemed unaffected by the heat or miles we'd walked. He also looked a lot less disheveled than he did when he got home from work. No less attractive, I noted, and wondered to myself if I could ever find him even a little unattractive. Nico got Lena in her car seat and buckled her in. She was old enough to do it herself, and usually insisted on autonomy, but she was far too sleepy to do anything but relax into the seat. I climbed in and turned around in time to see Nico plant a kiss on her cheek. "You look worn out" I said. "Did you have fun?" She nodded sleepily, but smiled. Nico started the truck and I fiddled with the air conditioning, pointing a vent back toward Lena and one toward my face. I sighed when the cold air hit my skin and relaxed into my seat. I glanced and Nico, who met my gaze and reached over to take my hand. We drove for a while in silence like that, and though my face cooled down, I still felt flushed from excitement. We were about fifteen minutes away from my grandparents when Nico asked, "Will your grandparents be there when I drop you off?" "I think so. They went to the flea market this morning, they're usually back by noon. Why?" "I would feel funny dropping you off and not coming in. And, I think...I want them to know about this, about us. You know?" "I think I know what you mean," I said. I knew Nico cared for my grandparents, and he was a man of integrity, so it stood to reason he would be unhappy if he felt he was being anything less than respectful. "Maybe they won't care, but I don't want to feel like I'm sneaking around." "I understand," I said. I told him about my conversation with them at breakfast, how my grandmother had known something was up. He laughed. "Of course she knew something was up, that crafty lady. She's so smart. Any idea how she felt about it?" "I don't know. I don't even know if she knows anything, or just suspects. I haven't exactly been a social butterfly since moving in with them, so any social engagement is a little conspicuous, I guess. Whether that means she knows how I feel or not..." I thought again about that look she'd given me in the morning and sighed. "Who am I kidding? She knows. I'm sure she knows. I'm terrible at hiding my emotions." "She's good at figuring people out. Must be where you get it. I just hope this is OK with them." "I think it will be," I said, but I was trying to convince myself as much as him. I wasn't sure what I'd do if they disapproved of the two of us seeing each other romantically. "Oh, but on the other hand, I don't mind sneaking around Rose," he said. "I can't hide it for long, she's going to notice things are different, but if we could just put off telling her a little longer..." "You don't think she'll approve?" I'd been worried about that since I realized I had a crush on her big brother—her favorite brother whom she was close with and loved so much. "No. No, Zoe, she'll be...so happy. Are you kidding? This is what she's wanted for years. She's never known how to deal with my grief, she just wants me to get married again. She'll be so thrilled." "I know, but when she's talked about how she wishes you'd meet someone it's always women your age, divorcees—women with kids." "She's talked about it with you?" His laugh was pure exasperation. "See, that's why I want to keep it quiet just a little longer. She's a compulsive match-maker. And once she knows there's something going on, she's going to be all over us. She'll try to take me ring shopping. She'll leave bridal magazines scattered around the house for you to find. She'll start suggesting honeymoon locations and names for our future children." I laughed, but it was a nervous laugh full of the thrill the phrase future children had caused. "I don't want you to put you in an awkward position. You don't have to lie to her or anything, but if she asks how Friday night went, maybe you could just skip the part where I stripped you half naked in the kitchen, and...well, everything after that." "I'll be vague," I said. "Promise." "Thank you. I will tell her soon. As soon as I feel brave enough." "I've heard you're getting braver by the day." He smiled, pulled my hand to his mouth, and pressed a kiss on the back of it. "Can I kiss you? I've wanted to all day. I mean, really kiss you." I glanced behind me. Lena was fast asleep and probably had been for a while. I realized this was our chance. I doubted he would feel comfortable kissing me goodnight at my grandparents' house. I nodded and he pulled the truck to the side of the road, letting go of my hand. I turned in my seat to face him as he put the truck in park. "You look so beautiful," he said, reaching for my hand again. He leaned toward me and I met him half way. I angled my head and he kissed me softly on the mouth. The pleasure was immediate—a flush of it, like heat moving through my body. I remembered our first kiss, and how unsure of the situation he'd been. I felt some of that uncertainty in this kiss, too and realized that we knew each other well in some ways, but in we were still new to each other, too. I reached out and touched his face then let my fingers slip down and into the curls at the base of his neck. He made a small noise and kissed me more deeply, his mouth opening over mine. The turn signal clicked in a steady rhythm, the only other noise in the car besides the soft, wet sounds of our mouths and tongues meeting. I longed for more contact as our kissing grew more passionate. Memories of his hands on my bare skin, of our naked bodies pressed together, made my head swim. I tugged at his neck, digging my fingers into the base of his skull, and he leaned toward me, his long arm pulling at my waist. I longed to climb into his lap, to feel his body against mine, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop at just kissing. I wanted him so bad. He was obviously experiencing the same thing. His hand moved from my waist down my hip to my thigh. He slipped it under the hem of my skirt and dragged his fingers up my bare skin. When his fingers reached the edge of my panties, he moaned softly and leaned even closer. His kissed me hard and his hand slid roughly over my hip, his fingers spread wide. I could feel his desire in the way his fingers curled into my flesh. He wanted me, too. He released me reluctantly and sat back in his seat. He groaned softly, a long, slow exhalation. I could see his frustration. Or perhaps it was just a projection of my own sexual need; my pulse was racing and my pussy was throbbing. Without comment, Nico changed the turn signal's direction and pulled back onto the road. Neither of us spoke the rest of the drive, but he reached over and took my hand again. My thoughts were busy with the events of the day, remembering the way seeing him with Lena on his shoulders had made me feel. It tugged at that ache inside me, the longing that was sex and babies and wanting him so bad I thought I'd die. I'd never felt anything even remotely like it in my life. "If this goes well, and your grandparents don't run me out of town with a pitchfork," Nico said when we pulled into their driveway, "do you think I could take you out for dinner on Friday? Just the two of us?" "I don't think my grandparents own a pitchfork," I said. "Or torches. Anyway, they're going to New York City this weekend to see my uncle and my parents. So I'm definitely free." He looked at me, considering something. "They're staying overnight?" I smiled and nodded. "Ohh Foxy," he said in a long sigh. I was pretty sure we were thinking the same thing. He undid his seat belt and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly, clearly trying to prepare himself. "They already like you, Nico," I reminded him. "It's just that this matters so much to me," he said. I wasn't sure what he meant by this—how my grandparents reacted or the two of us together—but either way, I loved him a little more for caring so deeply. Nico woke Lena up as he got her out of the car seat. She was groggy and confused, but didn't protest. She snuggled against her dad's chest, her head just under his chin, and I had to look away to quiet the pain inside me. I let us in the back door. "I'm home," I called. I could hear the TV coming from the living room so I headed that way. Their heads turned as I came around the corner. Their eyes skipped right over me, and landed on Nico. My grandmother reached for the TV remote and switched off the power. "Come in," she said. "Nico, it's good to see you again." "It's nice to see you, too, Mrs. O'Reilly." He nodded at my grandfather, who smiled and nodded back. "Mr. O'Reilly." "Come in and sit down." My grandmother gave me the briefest of looks—a knowing look—but I couldn't interpret its meaning. Then she turned her smile on Nico and indicated he should sit. He did, but cautiously, like he was afraid he'd break the chair. He set Lena down in front of him, and she clung to his arm protectively. I'd never seen her act shy before. "And who's this?" My grandmother said, looking at Lena, who stared back at her with huge brown eyes. She was a little disheveled from the long, hot day. Her braids were frizzy and her knees were dirty, but she was still absolutely adorable. Nico nudged Lena gently and whispered, "This is Zoe's grandma. Can you say hi?" She stared, silent. "Can you tell her your name?" Lena just stared. I knew my grandparents wouldn't be offended by her silence, my dad and uncle had both been very shy growing up, so they understood how kids could be. "No? Can I tell them?" A nod. "This is Lena. She's a little sleepy." "Of course she is, she had a long day at the zoo. I bet it was a lot of fun." My grandmother beamed at her, but Lena didn't even blink. "It's nice to meet you, Lena. I'm glad you came to visit." We made small talk about the weather, the drive, whether the zoo had been busy, whether I'd put enough sunblock on, and whether we were hungry or not. It was awkward, but I hoped I was the only one who felt it. Lena was silent, and Nico was uncharacteristically tense, and I was trying so hard to act like it wasn't awkward, which just made it all seem worse to me. There was no doubt in my mind my grandmother knew how I felt about him, and by the questions she asked him—none too direct or obvious—I could tell she was trying to figure out how he felt about me and whether this trip to the zoo had been just a trip to the zoo, or the beginning of something else. My grandfather was oblivious to the subplot of the evening, and was just happy to see Nico. The two of them got on the topic of cars—a subject I knew they'd discussed many times while Nico was working on the patio, and one I knew my grandfather could stay on for a long time—and when Lena asked me for a drink of water, I took her into the kitchen and my grandmother followed, leaving the men to their conversation. "I just realized we never ate dinner," I said as I put some ice in a glass. "We had lunch on the late side, but that was a few hours ago. "You must be hungry, Lena." "We have some turkey breast in the fridge," my grandmother said. "I could make you some sandwiches. Would Lena rather have peanut butter? I know there's some in the pantry." I started to protest, to say she didn't need to feed us, but I knew that was pointless; I knew better than to stand in the way of my grandmother when she was on a mission to feed someone. Free Fall Ch. 02 "Peanut butter will be fine for Lena," I said. "I'll get it." "Do you want to ask Nico if he'd like a turkey sandwich? There's pasta salad, too." "Anything will be fine, Gran." I'd never known Nico to turn down food put in front of him, and he certainly wouldn't turn down something my grandmother offered him. "I didn't mean to come home for you to feed us." "You know I don't mind." I put Lena's sandwich on a plate, poured her a second glass of water, and took them to her at the big table where she was waiting. Her hair was a mess and her legs swinging beneath her were dirty, but she looked more awake than she had in the living room. "Don't forget to thank my grandma," I whispered to her as I put the plate down. I found Nico and my grandfather deep in conversation about engines. He was a little confused when I told him to come in and eat, but didn't protest when my grandmother put a plate in front of him. The five of us sat at the big table while we ate. Once Lena had finished, she climbed into my lap and sat, watching the grownups while we talked. Conversation focused on Nico's house and stayed light and relaxed. My stomach had relaxed, too, but I was still on edge. Every time my grandmother asked Nico something, I dissected the question, looking for the real meaning inside the words she used, trying to figure out how she felt about the situation. My grandmother returned to the kitchen at one point and brought back a small plate of cookies. She slid the plate in front of Lena, who looked up at her hopefully. My grandmother gave her a smile, and I saw Lena smile back. Definite progress. "What do you say?" I prompted. Lena's thank you was soft, but audible, and I could tell it pleased my grandmother to no end. "You're welcome." They stayed another half hour, during which Lena finished her cookies and then leaned against me, completely relaxed. She still didn't say anything, but I thought that had more to do with tiredness than shyness by that point. I thought the conversation became more natural and relaxed, and when I dared sneak a peek at Nico—I felt like my grandmother was watching me like a hawk—he seemed at ease. His smiles were those gorgeous, easy, gracious smiles that made you want to smile back. I knew he was winning my grandparents over just by being himself. Just before they left, as Nico was thanking my grandparents for the meal, Lena remembered what I'd told her earlier and flew to my grandmother, arms out. "Thank you for the cookies and sandwich," she said. It was one of those rare perfect moments you hope for, but can never count on happening. My grandmother was surprised and delighted and leaned down to give Lena a hug. "You're welcome, sweetheart. You can come back and see me any time." "For more cookies?" "Yes, more cookies," she laughed. "Do you like chocolate?" Lena's nod was enthusiastic. "Well, maybe next time you can help me bake some chocolate chip cookies. How does that sound?" "That sounds fun!" "Maybe you and your daddy can come back some time and have dinner again. We can eat out on the pretty patio he made for us." Lena nodded and ran back to Nico, who automatically bent to pick her up. My grandfather said goodnight and wandered back to the living room. I told Lena I'd see her in the morning and thanked Nico for inviting me. It was all very polite and friendly, but I was longing for a kiss goodbye, or just to feel him put his arms around me. My grandmother held the door and Nico backed out onto the porch. "Thanks again for dinner, Mrs. O'Reilly," he said as he turned to go. My grandmother smiled. "Don't you think you'd better start calling me Helen?" I didn't see his reaction, and he didn't respond, but I knew that comment would make him feel a lot less nervous about winning her approval. I guessed she knew that, too, and not for the first time in the last six months, I recognized what a great ally I had in my grandmother. I made a mental note to do something really nice for her soon. // I washed the dishes while she dried, neither of us talking, though I had so many questions I wanted to ask. "I like Nico," she said finally, once she'd put away the last plate and I'd finished wiping down the counters. "He's a good man." I wanted to agree with enthusiasm, but when I looked at her, I could see there was more coming. Her serious face made me nervous. "Do you want my advice?" I did. I nodded, but my stomach tightened. "I would advise you to remember two things. First, remember that you're in a vulnerable place right now, in your life. You just went through a very difficult depression and made some tough decisions. Now you're feeling better, more like yourself." She raised her eyebrows, looking for confirmation of this last fact. I nodded. "I've never known you to be anything but practical, but love does funny things to logical minds." She smiled and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "You have to make a choice this spring, and you need to be sure about your reasoning. Just promise me you'll really think it through before you make any big decisions, OK?" "I will," I said. "I am." "The other thing I would encourage you to remember is that anything you do, and any decisions you do make will affect not only you and Nico, but that sweet little girl as well. You need to be sure—absolutely sure—whatever decisions you make, you keep her in mind." She looked at me for a second, her eyes focused on mine, then hugged me tight. I hugged her back, and the relief I felt made me realize how tense I'd been. "Take your time, Zoe. Enjoy yourself. He's an absolute dear, and obviously very fond of you. Just be smart about this," she said, then added, "I know you will." "Thank you, Gran," I said. "I will, I promise." She held me at arm's length and smiled. "Go on upstairs and get a shower. And put some aloe on your shoulders, they're almost as pink as your face." // I was happy to be back at Rose's on Monday morning. Summer was almost over, and school was starting in a few weeks. I was sad to know my schedule would change and I'd see less of the kids. Rose would get them on the bus and I'd be there to meet them when they got home. I'd only have a couple of hours with the boys after school before their dad got home, but Lena's Kindergarten was only a half-day, so I'd get to spend two extra hours with her before her cousins got home. I was grateful for any time I got to spend with them, and knew once the weather got really cold and Nico's work slowed down, I wouldn't really be needed as much. I was trying not to feel too sad about the changes, but I'd grown attached to the kids and had really come to love our days together. I took the kids to the library around 9:30. It was only a ten minute walk, but felt a lot longer on the way back with a big bag full of picture books. The heat and humidity didn't help matters. We were half a block away when I saw the red pick-up truck pulling into the driveway. My heart skipped a beat. I tried not to worry something was wrong, but couldn't think why Nico would be home in the middle of the morning—the most productive work hours during the summer. When Lena saw him, she ran to him and jumped into his outstretched arms. A few seconds later, we met each other on the sidewalk. He set her down and took the tote bag of books from me. "Hey, Foxy," he said, making me laugh. I wondered if that nickname would stick around, and found I didn't mind if it did; it was the only nickname my red hair had earned me I actually liked. "Everything alright?" I asked. "Shouldn't you be at work?" "I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by." "Really." I gave him a doubtful look. "In the neighborhood?" "Well, I was in a neighborhood. One across town, but it looked a lot like this one. It had houses, anyway." He smiled, bent, and kissed my cheek. "I have to be somewhere in twenty minutes, but I really wanted to see you." The kids ran ahead and to the yard. Their sandals were already off and they were dragging some of the lawn toys out of the toy bin next to the deck by the time Nico and I got there. I reminded them to stay in the yard and Nico and I went inside. "Did that go well last night?" "At my grandparents' house? Yeah. I think it did." I poured myself a drink of water and dropped some ice cubes into the glass. "Want a drink?" He shook his head, and watched me take a sip. I could tell by his expression he wasn't convinced. "I think it went great, actually. I mean, they already like you. And now they know your charming daughter. What's not to approve of? My grandmother said you're a 'good man'." "Hmm. That's not code for 'too old for my granddaughter' is it?" "I don't think she cares how old you are, Nico. She doesn't have a single complaint about you. If she's worried, it's about me. She's worried I'm being impulsive." "Are you? Being impulsive?" He looked genuinely concerned. "I have impulses," I admitted. I put my glass on the counter and moved to stand in front of him. We were exactly where we'd been on Friday night when I'd put my shoes on to leave, right before everything had changed. I ran my hands up his arms and linked them behind his neck. I had to stand on tip toe to reach him. "And urges. But I've done a lot of thinking, too." He slid his hands to my waist and steadied me, pulling me closer so our bodies touched. "Sounds serious. Tell me about these urges." "You only have twenty minutes." I put pressure on the back of his neck, pulling him down, and he responded, bringing his mouth to mine. "I need more time than that." As soon as our lips touched, I felt the delicious sensation of heat and pressure pooling in my belly and pulling all my nerves a little tighter. We kissed for a few seconds, but the sound of the screen door opening brought us back to reality. He dropped his hands and I stepped back. It was Jack, and he was hungry. "I'll make a snack," I told him. "Give me a minute, OK? I'll bring it outside, we can eat on the picnic table." I moved back toward Nico once the screen door had banged shut and he took me in his arms immediately. We kissed, softly then passionately. My body responded, aching like fatigue inside me. I pressed my body against him, and moaned as I remembered how he'd lifted me off the counter and carried me to his bedroom just a few nights before. It felt like ages ago, but at the same time I could remember just how it had felt. We parted reluctantly and Nico got the kids to wash their hands and set the table while I put three plates of carrot sticks, sliced apples, cheese, and crackers together. Normally, I might have given them options, but today I was pure efficiency—they needed food and I needed to make the most of the time Nico had left at the house. I turned to find him leaning on the deck railing, arms crossed over his chest, watching me with a curious look on his face. When I joined him he asked in a slightly lowered voice, "Should that turn me on?" "What?" "You. When you're all...domestic. Does it make me a male chauvinist if I find that sexy?" "I don't know. Maybe. If that's all you think I'm good for." He shook his head. He was only half kidding, I realized. His expression told me he was really thinking about it. "Does it turn you on?" "It makes me...it makes me want you. I think that's different, but I'm not sure how. It's..." I thought about how it made me feel when I saw him with Lena. It felt like arousal, but something else, too. "Complicated?" I offered as a finish to his sentence. "Hmm. Yeah. Complicated." He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the time. "So, Friday? Are you free?" "I'm free. All day Saturday, too. And Saturday night, come to think of it. My grandparents will be in Manhattan until Sunday night." He laughed softly and looked down, away from my eyes. When he got shy, it made his face even more attractive to me. I couldn't say why, but it made my heart race. He hesitated as he spoke. "I—I can take Lena to my mother's Friday afternoon. She's been asking for a sleep-over for a while, and my sister-in-law's daughter will be there, too, so Lena won't miss me for a second. We could go out for dinner. And...stay somewhere...if you want?" He looked back up, his eyebrows raised. He looked uncertain. Hopeful, but he wasn't sure I'd say yes. "I definitely want," I said simply. It made him laugh again, relief this time. "What time? And what do I wear?" "I don't know yet. Let me figure it out, I'll let you know." He made an apologetic face. "I have to go." "I know. It's OK. It was a treat to see you." I stepped forward and kissed his lips once, just a quick peck, nothing to attract the kids' attention. "I'll see you Wednesday night at dinner." He kissed each kid on the head, told them to be extra good for me, and left. Wednesday suddenly seemed like a long time away. // If my wait from Monday to Wednesday felt long, it was nothing compared to my wait from Wednesday to Friday. I was happy to get to see him at dinner on Wednesday, but because he still wanted to keep our attraction a secret from his sister, we had to pretend nothing had changed from the previous Wednesday. It was so hard. My eyes automatically sought him out, and once they were on him, it was difficult to pull them away. When I passed him in the kitchen, or after dinner, outside in the yard, I wanted some reason to make physical contact with him. Really, I wanted him to take me in his arms and kiss me, but I would have settled for one intentional touch of his hand. There was only one point where our eyes locked and neither of us looked away. It felt like it lasted a long time, though it was probably only a few seconds. If anyone had noticed, if they'd been looking carefully, it would have been obvious there was sexual attraction on both sides. I was a turned-on mess by the end of the evening. I'd hoped somehow he'd be able to get away when it was time for me to leave, that we could exchange a kiss in the dark of the side yard, but Rose followed me out instead, thanking me for helping with dinner, and telling me she'd see me in the morning. I drove away, unkissed and aching, but not entirely unhappy. I helped my grandparents load up their car the following morning before I left for Rose's. They were stopping at a friend's on the way into the city, and then spending the weekend with their son Gary, my dad's twin brother. My parents were joining them on Saturday for dinner. "You sure you don't want to come out tomorrow? Or tonight, after work? There's plenty of room at your uncle's." "No thanks, Grampa. I'll be in Manhattan in a couple of weeks for my birthday, I'll see Uncle Gary then. Be sure and give him and Aunt Lisa a hug for me, though. And mom and dad, too." My grandmother gave me an extra long hug goodbye. When she drew back she looked at me carefully, her blue eyes keen and searching. "We'll see you on Sunday night," she said. I hadn't told her Nico and I had plans for the following night, but she had to have assumed we would be seeing each other while they were gone.. "Be safe, and have a nice time. And if you go out, don't forget to turn on the alarm." I read the unspoken message in her eyes: Enjoy yourself, and don't do anything stupid. "See you Sunday. Have fun, you guys." I hoped she read the thank you in my eyes before she looked away. "Love you." // Nico knocked on my grandparents' back door at 5:30 on the dot. I was just re-sorting my overnight bag, making sure I had everything I might need when I heard the knock at the door. My heart jumped. I was a little on edge, and extremely excited. I let Nico in and he stepped through, looking more attractive than ever. He'd gotten a haircut. Just a trim—shorter around the ears and neck—but it made him look so different. Not that I minded his messy curls—I loved them, but he looked—in what I suspected was a new shirt and new pants—like a man on a date. And that was a very exciting thing indeed. "I meant to get flowers," he said in greeting. "I should have. I'm—I"m really out of practice with this whole dating thing." "How long has it been?" "Oh God." He ran a hand through his neat hair, messing it up a little. "It's been 14—no,15 years? Since my last real date. Since I showed up at a girl's house like this, anyway. Nervous." "You're nervous?" "Yes," he said without hesitation. "You keep forgetting I'm a coward." I laughed. "Oh please." "You look so..." He put his hand on his chest, over his heart and just grinned at me for a few seconds. "Beautiful. I can't believe you're my date for the night. People are going to see me with you. How am I this lucky?" I blushed and ran my hands down the skirt of my dress self consciously. "That dress is beautiful, too. It's perfect on you, with your hair and your freckles. You're so gorgeous, Zoe." I'd spent a great deal of time preparing for the date. The last time I'd gone shopping with my mom in New York, I bought a lace turquoise sheath dress at Bloomingdale's. It was a simple design with a scoop neckline and cap sleeves. The fabric hugged my body enough to show off my modest curves, but loose enough it didn't look trashy—perfect for a summer date night. I chose a pair of sandals with a heel, hoping that would get me a little closer to Nico's mouth when we kissed. I'd spent even more time on my hair, trying to find the right look. I settled on a low, loose bun. Judging by that awestruck look on Nico's face, I had done a good job. "You've only ever seen me when I'm a mess," I said. It was something I'd realized when I was getting ready. I'd always been sweaty and tired at Wednesday night dinners, and although I'd showed up at Rose's last Friday freshly showered, I was sweating from the heat even before I stood up to leave. He shook his head. "You're never a mess, sweetheart." I didn't argue. I was too drawn in by the look on his face to do anything but stare. He moved toward me, then stopped. "I forget. Am I allowed to kiss you before the date? Or, is that strictly an after-the-date thing?" "I think a kiss is allowed before. Maybe just one, though." I moved in his direction and stopped right in front of him. "I'd better make it a good one then." He bent, lifted one hand to my chin, and tilted my face up to his. It seemed to take a long time for his mouth to reach mine. His fingers were so hot against my skin and that heat traveled straight down my body like a roaming hand. He kissed me without passion, but his mouth was soft and he pressed it to mine so gently and for so long it made my knees wobbly. I caught the familiar seductive scent of his body and was brought back to that night in his bed. A shiver passed through me and just as he lifted his mouth from mine, I felt the barest touch of his tongue on my bottom lip. "Oh my," I said once I regained the ability to breathe again. "That was a good one alright," He grinned then his eyes lit on my overnight bag on the table next to my purse. "Everything packed? Sun block and ski boots, just in case?" "Yup. All the essentials." He picked up the bag and handed me my purse. "Shall we go?" I turned on the house alarm and locked the door behind me, thrilled beyond words to think of what the night held in store. // The restaurant he'd chosen was an little tapas bar in town. I'd read an article about it in the paper and had thought it sounded interesting, but would never have expected Nico to pick it. I realized he'd probably picked it with me in mind, not because he was necessarily interested in it himself. I hoped it wouldn't end up being too fancy or too expensive for him. If he'd taken me to a pizza place with fluorescent lighting and rowdy college kids, I would have been just as happy. Free Fall Ch. 02 We were seated outside under an canopy of maple boughs strung with white lights. It was busy and the small tables were close together, but somehow I felt like we were alone in the world once we sat down. I also felt—much to my surprise—butterflies in my stomach. I noticed Nico looked more relaxed than he had earlier. "Now I feel nervous," I said. I decided to be honest, since he had when he'd admitted nervousness picking me up. "I don't know why; I feel like I've known you forever." "Same here. But, technically this is our first date. Our first one without kids, anyway." "It's auspicious," I said, nodding. "I'm entirely too aware of—everything. Am I sitting up straight? Should I cross my legs? Where do I put my hands?" It didn't help that I'd noticed several women checking him out when we'd made our way to our table. I wasn't threatened, but they'd been closer to his age, making me painfully aware of mine. I felt inexperienced and awkward like I never had before with him. "You're perfect, Zoe." He laughed gently and smiled, putting me at ease just a little. "Let's order some wine, maybe that will help you relax." It did help, even before the drinks came I was feeling a little less self-conscious. I got a glass of wine, but encouraged him to get a beer, knowing that was his preference, and we began to ease into a more natural exchange. It didn't take long before our conversation was just a continuation of the conversation we'd had the previous week. It had no agenda, no predetermined direction; we just shared whatever came into our minds, and we went with the flow of it, enjoying each others' observations and ideas. At times it felt like hanging out with JD—easy and fun, without any pressure of trying to impress—but then I'd look into his eyes and feel everything inside me go soft and hot and remember I was on a date. And this was Nico. I was on a date with Nico. "Tell me something about yourself I don't know," I said. We were halfway through the meal, completely at ease with each other, thoroughly enjoying ourselves. We'd been flirting a little, and teasing a lot, and I could feel the familiar buzz of excitement building in my belly. "Something I wouldn't guess." "Oh wow. Something you wouldn't guess." He looked off into the distance, thinking, and I enjoyed a tour of his handsome face. Those cheekbones. That jaw. And the new way his curls fell against his forehead since he'd gotten it trimmed. So attractive. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I didn't. I just waited. "I really like to be naked," he said finally. "Like, all the time if I could." I hadn't been expecting that. "You're a nudist?" "I...don't think so... No." He was genuinely thinking about it. "I don't want to see other people naked. Present company excluded, of course. I just like...I don't know. I just like how it feels." He laughed, but he didn't seem embarrassed. "I wouldn't want to go to a nude beach, you know, but if I could just be naked in my own home all the time, I would. It feels good." I must have looked shocked, because he laughed again when his eyes met mine again. "What? It's not that weird...is it?" "I honestly don't know." "You don't like being naked?" "I...um...I don't know. I don't think I've ever just hung out naked before." I felt myself blushing. "I grew up with two older brothers, and I had roommates in college, and I can't exactly go naked at my grandparents', so maybe I've never had a chance to try it out." "Mmm well, maybe we can try it out later." He grinned, and I blushed even more. "OK, your turn. Tell me something I wouldn't guess." "Ummm." I realized I didn't have a ready answer, so I had to think, too. It took me a while and I was pretty sure Nico was studying my face while he waited, like I had when he'd been considering the question. He had longer to study me, though, because I couldn't think of a single thing about me that was interesting enough to share. I was beginning to think all I'd ever done was study and get good grades. "Oh—I used to ride in equestrian competitions," I said excitedly when I remembered. "Hmm. No..." He shook his head slowly, grinning at me. "No...I would have guessed that." "What?" "Totally. I'm guessing English riding, not dressage." He laughed when my face fell. "I do have a little girl, you know. I've had the crash course in all things horsie." "Oh man. Well, I won some trophies. I was actually really good at it." "Nope. That's a given, Zoe. You're really good at everything. Try again. Maybe something you're afraid of, although I can't even imagine that." "OK. Umm." I thought for a while and felt him still watching me. "Something I'm afraid of...how about this: I've never been camping." "You're afraid of camping?" He laughed openly. "Oh, God, sorry, I'm laughing at your secret fear. That's really awful of me." He didn't stop laughing, though. I laughed, too. "Not camping. I'm not afraid of camping." "Sleeping bags? Tents? You have tentophobia?" "That's not even a real phobia," I said. "I just don't like...camping. I don't like being outside when it's dark." "So you're afraid of the dark? Ohhh." He was enjoying himself. "No," I protested. "Well, OK, kind of. I mean, I get scared outside in the dark. It's totally irrational. I'm fine indoors. And not in the city—I mean, as long as there are streetlights I don't get scared—but the idea of pitching a tent in the woods and sleeping there...at night." I shivered, honestly unsettled. "For real?" He was in genuine disbelief. "OK. That's—yeah. I would not have guessed that," he said, still chuckling. He continued to tease me a little longer, until we'd finished eating, and I loved every minute of it. He asked if I wanted dessert, and though I'd read the restaurant's crème brulee was excellent, I declined. I was feeling a little full, though I suspected it had more to do with arousal and that full-chested feeling of excitement than the size of the meal I'd just eaten. "So, what are we doing tonight?" I asked, after our waitress—who I noticed, every time she came to our table, couldn't take her eyes off of Nico—brought us the check. He slid his credit card into the folder after looking the bill over briefly, and laid it on the table, then sighed dramatically. "I don't know, Zoe. I did have a naked camping trip planned for us, but I guess that's not going to happen now, is it?" The look he gave me was so serious, so disappointed, I cracked up. Loud and un-ladylike enough I had to cover my mouth with my hand. "To be honest, I thought you were braver than that." "I'm sorry," I said, still laughing because his face hadn't changed. "I'll make it up to you, I promise. Maybe I can come up with something else we can do." "Something as good as naked camping? Somehow, I doubt that." The waitress arrived and took the payment folder while Nico stared at me, still maintaining his stony stare. I couldn't keep from laughing, a giddiness was rising up in me, knowing where this evening was headed. Knowing we had the whole night together. Knowing, without a doubt, that it would be even better than the previous Friday night—we had the benefit of time on our side. "Well, I can try," I said. "I'll do my best." We left the restaurant, his hand light on my waist as we walked to the truck. He opened my door and waited while I climbed in, then gently closed the door. His eyes met mine briefly as the door shut, giving me an unexpected thrill. "Where are we staying tonight?" I asked as he drove up the hill, headed out of town. "Not too far away. It's a nice place—I hope you think it's nice, anyway. It's still under construction, but I got us a really nice room." I liked the sound of a 'really nice room', although I couldn't imagine what kind of place he'd take me to that was under construction. I didn't ask; I trusted his choices. After all, he'd made a great choice with the restaurant. It took me longer than it should have to figure it out. He pulled onto a residential street where the houses were far apart, with swaths of uncultivated, woodsy land in between, so I guessed we were headed to one of the many B&B's out this direction. He turned the truck into a gravel driveway and drove up a slight incline, his headlights cutting across the front face of a big white house. I was still looking for a sign when I realized where he'd brought me. "Oh my God, this is—is this your house?" He pulled up to the end of the drive and turned off the engine. He left the headlights on, and we both peered out the window for a second at what we could see in the darkness. It was square, two stories, with dark shutters and tall windows. I made out some trees and bushes and another small white building a short distance away. I had a million questions, but I waited. "It is," he said. "Is that alright? For tonight?" "Yes. Absolutely." I'd been dying to see the house he was building since I'd heard about it. I unfastened my seat belt, eager to go inside. "Can we go in?" Nico reached out and put his hand on mine. "It's dark out there," he said seriously. "You sure you want to go out?" I laughed. "Is this going to be a thing, now?" He shut off the lights and pulled his key from the ignition. It got dark. Pitch black, actually. "Stay there," he said. "I'll come get you." I could just barely see his face in the darkness as he came to my side of the truck. He opened my door and reached behind me to get my overnight bag. He took my hand and then stepped back, giving me room to get out. My eyes were adjusting little by little, but it was really dark out, and if I had to be perfectly honest, it creeped me out as we started across the yard. But I wasn't going to tell him that. I let him lead me through the darkness toward the house. I saw the dark mouth of an entrance, a porch, I thought, and Nico warned me when we got to the steps. "Three steps up," he said. I found the steps with my feet, and in a few seconds was following him across a wooden porch floor. "I have to let go of your hand to unlock the door," he warned. "I'll be right here. OK?" He gently released my hand. I heard the jingle of his keys, then the solid sound of a bolt turning in a door. We stepped through and he closed the door behind us, turning the bolt again to lock it. He fumbled for a light switch and flicked it, turning on a dim light outside, a porch light. "If I'd known you were such a scaredy cat, I would have left that on for you," he said. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?" "Never." He bent and kissed me once on the lips and smiled. "You were very brave, sweetheart." He turned then, and switched on another light, illuminating the room we'd entered. "The kitchen," he said simply. "It's almost done. I tried to get the tiles finished before tonight, but I ran out of time." "Oh Nico, it's beautiful." I walked into the center of the room and did a slow 360 degree turn, taking it all in. It smelled like old wood and new paint. It was mostly empty, and felt like an empty house. My footsteps echoed a little as I moved around the room. The kitchen was big, with a wide window on the outer wall above a white double sink. There were glass-fronted wooden cupboards painted white—the majority of them were empty—that reached up to a high ceiling. The floors were wide wooden planks, worn in some places, but they were clean and, when I walked across them, they creaked, reminding me pleasantly of the floors at my grandparents' house. I could easily imagine how to room would look with the sun streaming in through the big windows, making the whole room glow. Over the counters and extending all the way around the kitchen was a border of blue and white tiles, alternating between plain and printed. I saw a stack of tiles in the corner, and realized these were the tiles he said he hadn't had time to finish. I knew he had done a lot of the work himself, and I thought of a hundred questions I had, but I wanted to see more, too. "It's beautiful" I said. I stepped up to him, slid my hand into his, and smiled up at him. "Show me the whole house." He gave me a tour through the first floor, switching on lights as we moved through the rooms—a small dining room, a den or study, a tiny half bathroom, and a spacious living room. Some looked completely finished, but some were less complete, housing pieces of dry wall and boxes. The living room had a huge stone fireplace, which I guessed had to have been a selling point when he'd first looked at the house. I let him talk and just listened. I knew nothing about houses, so much of the minute details he shared were lost on me, but I enjoyed seeing his enthusiasm and trying to imagine what he saw when he talked about knocking down this wall or moving that one out a couple of feet. He obviously loved the house and had put a lot of work into it already. As much as I hated thinking of him and Lena here alone, I knew it was a special place to him. I followed him upstairs to the bedrooms, enjoying the creak of the stairs beneath our feet. He took me through the two smaller rooms first. They were all finished, freshly painted with bare wooden floors. The first room was empty except for some cardboard boxes neatly stacked in a corner. "My office," he said. "Not that I really need an office, but we don't need three bedrooms. And I have a desk, but not an extra bed, so...office." The second room was painted pink. Very pink. There was a small bed along one wall, with a fancy headboard. It was bare, but had a pile of sheets and blankets on top of it. Across the room was a matching white dresser and vanity set, painted with pink roses. "Yours, I assume," I said when we entered the room. "I always pictured you doing your hair at a vanity like that." "Takes a long time to look this good." He stepped into the room and looked around. "I let Lena pick the color. I had to talk her down a couple of shades, but I'm pretty sure this is the pinkest room in the county." "You're such a good dad," I said. "I always wanted a pink room, too." "Never got one?" "My parents are strictly beige wall people. I think this would give my dad a nervous breakdown." "I figure we can always paint over it," he said shrugging. "It's worth it if she loves it." The bathroom was tiny, but very clean. There was a huge white claw footed tub along one wall that immediately drew my eye. I noticed a pile of folded white towels on a small shelf and had a ridiculous thrill at the idea that he'd put them out in anticipation of me staying the night. The last bedroom, opposite the bathroom, was Nico's and I was pleased to see it was much bigger than the room he currently had at Rose's. It was the only room that felt done. At least, it had a neatly made bed, a wide dresser, a big wooden trunk with quilts piled on top of it, and a set of bookshelves with some disorganized books. It wasn't complete, that was obvious, the windows were bare, and the closet was empty except for half a dozen moving boxes in the bottom, and the bookcase looked more like a prop than someone's library, but as Nico turned on the lamps on the side table and dresser, and turned off the overhead light, it transformed into a warm and cozy space. "I hope this is OK." He set my overnight bag down on the floor next to a dresser. "It's perfect, Nico. Thank you for bringing me here. I've been dying to see your house for so long." "I almost booked a room somewhere," he said. "There's a nice inn up on the ridge, I passed it a hundred times when I was working up that direction in June. It's cute, but I thought...you know, it's small. And this time of year they're probably busy, so..." I moved toward him, drawn by the uncertainty in his voice. "I don't know maybe this is selfish, but I just wanted to be alone with you." "That's what I want, too," I said. I moved into his arm's reach and he drew me to him. "I just want to be with you." He smiled and pulled me closer. My arms went to his neck automatically and soon we were kissing, our bodies pressed tight. We picked up where we'd left off on Monday, in Rose's kitchen before the kids interrupted, skipping right over the tentative kisses for deep kisses that made my knees weak. It felt new and familiar at the same time, exciting and comfortable. There wasn't a trace of hesitation in the way his mouth moved over mine, and I felt the power in his body as he held me while one hand roamed over my side and down my hip. He was more assertive than he'd ever been before and it was incredibly exciting. He broke the kiss after a while, bending to drop his mouth to kiss my neck. He turned my head gently, bringing my bare throat to his mouth, and I let out a moan as he kissed me there, his mouth and tongue hot against my skin. I felt the touch lower, directly on my nipple and realized his hand had moved and his thumb was massaging the hard nub of my nipple through my dress. That made me groan, half in pleasure and half in recognition of how exciting he was. He lifted his head to look at me while his thumb made purposeful circles. I groaned again and he smiled a half smile. "I love that sound," he breathed. He shifted his hand and used the tip of his finger to manipulate my nipple, even though the layers of fabric—the lace and silk of my dress and the cotton of my bra—it was a precise touch and it only took a second or two for him to draw another groan from me. "Mmmm," he said. "That's the one." He drew his hand away and slid it down my side. "This looks like an expensive dress," he said. "I'd hate to ruin it. Should we take it off?" I nodded and moved to reach behind me, but he stopped me and pressed his mouth to my cheek. "Let me do it," he said. His voice was low and full of desire. "I'll be careful." He walked around me, planting soft kisses across my shoulder and neck as he did. I felt his hands at the top closure and then he found the tiny zipper and drew it down with agonizing slowness. It moved silently, but every with every inch I heard the beating of my heart get louder and louder in my ears. He dragged it down my spine, dipping in at my waist, and then ending right at the top of my ass. Then his hands slid up my back, moving the fabric away as he worked his way high again, up to my shoulders. He slid the fabric off one shoulder, then the other and I slid my arms from the arm holes, letting the dress hang at my waist. His hands came around and cupped my breasts lightly. I leaned back against him automatically and he pressed his mouth to my ear. His fingers found my nipples and worked them gently, applying just enough pressure to make me squirm. His hands flexed, curling over the flesh of my breasts, increasing the pressure on my nipples. I sighed and pressed back against him a little more. He lifted his hands and then reached up and dragged the thin cotton fabric of my bra down, baring my breasts. "Ohh," he breathed. "You really do have the most perfect little breasts." I stared down, at my pale breasts and hard, pink nipples and Nico's big hands waiting. "Not too small?" "Are you kidding? They're perfect, just enough to fill my hands. And look how hard your nipples are." He moved his hands so my nipples touched the very center of his palms, and with small, precise movements, and no part of his hand touching the flesh of my breast, he rocked the rubbery peaks back and forth. I groaned and pushed back against his body. I could barely stand it—such a precise and perfect pleasure. He responded by tightening his core, giving me something to push against, while still manipulating my nipples with agonizing slowness. "You're so sexy," he said into my ear. He closed his hands, trapping my nipples under his palms, and kneaded my breasts. "I find the fact that you get aroused so quickly incredibly exciting. I feel like I could make you come just by touching you like that."