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The Housekeepers

By: egmontgrigor2010



CHAPTER 1

The Woodhead's returned from the funeral of their wife/mother feeling sad and knowing it wasn't yet all over. The aunties and husbands were on their way to demand a say in the future of Tom's three kids: Julie who was a high school senior, Tommy (15) a guitar nut and his twin Ada who was morose and uncooperative and had been like that before her mom Helene was killed foiling an attempted robbery.

It was likely Tom would receive compensation of several hundred thousand dollars but not any time soon with attorneys yet to argue who was to blame for Helene's death.

Thomas Woodhead (48) owned a very profitable commercial printing business. Helene's death had not hit him particularly hard because he'd lost his love and respect for her two years earlier after being sent photographs, by a person or persons unknown, of Helene with Dick Lowburn's cock in her mouth while she jerked him off.

Helene had denied it had happened and said the photo was not of her and couldn't have been because she's been visiting her dying mother at that time. Well her mother did die. Tom visited Dick Lowborn, a divorcee. Dick laughed at Tom's claim that he'd been having it off with Tom's wife saying there were better fucks around for the taking than Tom's Helene. 

"But I can tell you she sucks cock real good. My ex-wife came to me for money the other day and photographed her working on me but it's true what I said, I've never had full sex with your wife."

Tom was pretty sure he could floor Dick without suffering too much injury himself but had to think what would that achieve? As he went to leave he said to Dick coldly, "I'm giving you seven days to leave town and never to return. If you fail to comply it will be the end of you. It will be skillfully done, looking like an accidental but expect a very painful death."

Dick jeered, "You're bluffing."

"Seven days you Slime Ball and don't get your count wrong."

Tom never saw Dick Lowborn again.

A day after the warning, Helene began crying and wept for most of the day and she scarcely spoke to Tom for almost a week. Their relationship failed to return to normal. Loosing respect for a person takes a huge toll and in this case the feeling was mutual.

Looking severe after having attending the burial, Aunt Rose, Aunt Justine and Aunt Phyllis entered Tom's house without knocking and trailed by their embarrassed looking husbands. Motor-mouth Justine took over and said, "Clear out you kids and switch that TV off. We have something important to talk to your father about."

Tommy turned off the TV and Julie said defiantly, "You're wasting your time. Dad won't allow this family to be split up."

"Shut your mouth you upstart." Justine snarled. "If you don't I'll smack you over your mouth."

"Just you try you fat cow and dad will knock your crooked teeth straight before you swallow them."

"Why you..."

Tom said quietly, "That's more than enough Justine. Off you go kids... go to Julie's bedroom and close the door."

The kids could hear shouting but not what was being said. Ada turned on Julie's TV set and 'The Simpson's' occupied their attention until their father came in and tossed Julie the keys to her late mother's car.

"Take twenty bucks out of the old coffee tin and get us hamburgers. Drive carefully."

Ada asked what had happened in the talks over their welfare.

"Your relatives have gone empty-handed. I told you I'd heard what you guys wanted and wouldn't make my decision until I heard the submissions of your mom's sisters. None of them wanted you Julie, all saying you were such a tough bitch you'd only be trouble. I said one of them takes all three of you or to leave now and so they all left."

"Am I really that bad daddy darling?"

"You are much better than some of the street kids I've seen. If you are treated nicely you respond nicely, at least in my opinion. You get on fine with your other two aunts. You lash out at Justine because she's such a bully and we know her two kids are scared of her. Now off you go and observe all your road drills and don't listen to music."

"May I whistle?"

"Fuck off Julie," Tom grinned. "We're all hungry. Set the table Tommy."

"Aw dad."

"You've had your whine Tommy, off you go."

"Daddy when can I use the F-word? Julie does."

"Never Ada because you are such a lady and always will be."

"Oh you've never told me that before daddy."

"Well some things get buried instead of being said. You know that don't you?"

"Absolutely. You ought to teach at school. You are so good with your explanations."

Tom smiled, convinced that Ada would turn out very okay and Tommy too. It was Julie who worried him. She challenged practically everything and stood up to anyone unafraid and had come home more than once with a fat lip for not backing down under threat of bigger kids. Christ he recalled Helene had been aghast as finding what she thought was semen on a school navy skirt Julie had tossed into the laundry tub. He'd now be responsible for ensuring she didn't run out of contraceptives.

How the hell was he going to find a decent housekeeper? Justine had threatened to report his inadequacy in caring for three teenagers to the child welfare authority. The bitch was not giving him a chance but he shut her up by saying he intended employing a live-in housekeeper, an older woman with authority.

Over dinner Tom announced he'd have to employ a housekeeper to keep the child welfare authorities off his back.

"I'll look after the twins dad. I would love playing mother and would go to bed with you if that's what you want."

Tom had to pretend he hadn't heard that. The twins glanced at each other without fuss but then they were used to Julie's outrageous ways.

"How could you go out with your girlfriends after school and weekends and date approved guys if you had motherly responsibilities at home?"

"What no dates?" Julie said aghast, and she'd obviously decided she'd remain an independent schoolgirl with no undue home responsibilities.

The next day Tom called at the child welfare office and asked to see the case officer... the woman who'd called at his home on the day of Helene's death to offer help and he'd said the family would be okay, that he had options in mind.

Mrs Lucas took him into her office and smiled encouragingly and said, "Am I correct in assuming you are her to apply for assistance?"

"No everything is running fine and the kids are being well-behaved and cooperative. You did ask me to report to you as soon as I had everything sorted. The funeral was yesterday."

"Yes and what a dreadful experience for all concerned. I'm pleased that you appear to be holding up well."

Tom looked at what was holding up Mrs Lucas's amply bosom and saw a flash of pink. Ever so casually she brought her hands and elbows together and leaned slightly forward on her desk, blocking Tom's view of her cleavage.

"Is there anything I can help you with Mr Woodhead?"

Tom thought it unlikely she would be impressed if he said yes give him half an hour to play with her tits. "Um yes, can you recommend a reliable and high-performance housekeeper?"

"What do you mean by high-performance."

"A woman who shuts her mouth and gets on with her duties expertly."

Mrs Lucas was shaking with suppressed laughter. She laid down her arms, exposing quite a lot of her chest-high attributes and said, "Women like that are probably as rare as males who don't answer back and do things before they're asked to do them."

"You're funny."

Mrs Lucas smiled and blushed and patted one side of her hair.

Tom glanced at her tits and was sure they were pushed forward slightly.

"I'll email you later today with contact details of three women taken at random from unattached women who might consider taking on the role of a housekeeper. Have you any idea what to pay them?"

"I have no idea. Seven grand a month perhaps?"

"Mr Woodhead, that amount could tempt me to apply. No very much less than that. I will include rates plus a copy of a suggested contract of employment."

"Can't I just pay the woman and tell her to get on with it?"

"Do you have the people you employ at your printing works on contract?"

"Christ yes."

"Well think of a housekeeper as a worker with some expertise like many of the people you employ. A contract sets out responsibilities on both sides and provides limited legal protection on both sides."

"Well thank you. I appreciate your assistance and will advise when I have a housekeeper in place and then you can close the Woodhead's file. You are a lovely lady Mrs Lucas."

"Well yes, I suppose I am. I believe I could provide you with a list of women who could assist with your other needs."

"I'd accept such a list if it only contained your name Mrs Lucas."

Mrs Lucas, her cheeks now highly colored remain seated and said politely, "Good day Mr Woodhead."

Her face remained pretty passive but Tom interpreted the expression as being thoughtful. He wondered how much would she charge or would she even consider imposing a charge if she arrived at his door and handed him that list with only her name on it. Very intriguing.

The email arrived after lunch. It began, "Dear Tom..." Hello, what had happened to 'Mr Woodhouse?" He was pleased about that but mildly disappointed there was no graphic of her tits on the last page.

The next day Tom interviewed the three women on the list and after discussion with the one he favored, although less than enthusiastically, he hired Mrs Alice Larsen after she'd inspected his home and met the kids.

At dinner that night the conclusions were:

Tom: She might work out okay.

Julie: She's too old, more like a grandmother, so won't be tolerant of me.

Tommy: She said she's tone deaf and that's why she never learned to play a musical instrument.

Ada: She's not very intelligent.

Tom wisely didn't announce his summing up. His conclusion was he'd goofed when he'd engaged Mrs Larsen.

Mrs Larsen managed to last two weeks before handing Tom her resignation. He paid her off, giving her fifty bucks to quit immediately.

The Woodhead family had a very happy dinner that evening without Mrs Larsen hovering and criticizing. Tom had let the casserole burn but the steamed vegetables were cooked to perfection. He and Julie finished a whole bottle of wine and then the little bitch offered to sleep with him. Tom decided to engage another housekeeper.

He put up a notice at work, 'Can anyone recommend me a live-in housekeeper. Tom W.'

Margaret, an 18-year old paper feeder, said her grandmother could be interested. Tom liked her and Mrs Ross liked him, the house and the kids and she was hired.

A couple of days later Tom was looking as a plump, swaying ass of a woman walking in front of him when he turned to enter a lingerie shop and she said in surprise, "Oh hi Tom."

"Oh hi Mrs Lucas."

"Oh call me Thelma. How are you and the family getting along?"

"Fine but we had to change housekeepers because the kids found my first choice was too crabby and er not musical and not very intelligent."

"Oh dear, you do expect a lot from your housekeeper. You ought to have hired me."

She laughed and her tits shook and Tom felt very interested.

"That was in jest Tom. I have two children of my own and a lazy husband to look after."

She eyed him. "Tom I understand your situation but I cannot help you um unless you permit me to give you contact details of some women with big breasts who might be available. I would be fired if it was discovered I'd attempted to procure women for you."

"Then please don't do it."

"You are a gentleman Tom and I admire your for it. I must go; I need to purchase stockings. Oh listen, if you ever need another housekeeper call me. My sister might help out. Her husband has left her."

"Well thanks. Um do you wish me to help you choose stockings?"

"I always buy similar ones. When I need to replace bras perhaps I may give you a call to assist make the choices. But don't count on it."

"You are a lovely woman Thelma."

"Oh please Tom, don't tempt me."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye and better luck with your housekeeper Tom."

Three weeks later Mrs Ross slipped in her daughter's bathroom and broke her hip.

She resigned, effective immediately.

The family visited her in hospital and each one of them handed her a bunch of flowers.

The new housekeeper Miss Nichols lasted five days. She liked doing the housework in just her panties and bra and the kids complained to Tom that she had BO and when Tom suggested top Julie perhaps she was menstruating, Julie rolled round the floor laughing hysterically and finally managed to blurt, "God dad, she's sixty-four years of age."

She kept insisting that Tommy must not play his guitar while she was in the house but she was always in the house, rarely going out except to do the shopping.

She, Tommy and Tom became involved in an argument and finally Miss Nichols made the ultimatum: "Either that guitar goes or I go."

That was the end of Miss Nichol's term as housekeeper for the Woodhead family.

Tom hired a 44-year old but she never shifted in. When Tom called her two days after she was supposed to arrive she said on of her old boyfriends had returned to the city and they could scarcely get out of bed.

The next candidate was in her early fifties, a retired nurse. She arrived to moved in and then demanded Julie's room. Tom heard the unholy row and went running to find them on the floor attempting to throttle each other. Julie had a bleeding nose and a closing eye and Miss Shanks had a tooth knocked out and a cut lip.

"I'm not coming here to work for your lot and I'll be asking my attorney to get thousands of dollars off your father for what you did to me you savage bitch."

"That's enough of that stupid talk Miss Shanks. Kindly remove your things from our house and you can consider yourself very lucky that I'm not laying a complaint to the police against you alleging criminal assault on a minor. You ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"Look what she did to me the savage bitch."

"Self protection by a minor under assault is not considered a crime Miss Shanks. I suggest you consult your attorney and listed very carefully to what he or she says. Now get you ass out of our house you wicked woman."

The woman left quickly and they would not hear from her again.

"Thanks dad. I was getting carried away, thinking I'd elbow her in the throat and then bite her nipples off."

"You just calm down young lady and learn to control your aggression. God if you chewed her like that I could be sued for a million bucks in damages."

"It's only money dad, pride is more important but I heard what you said. Thanks again. Could we please get a new housekeeper, one who doesn't want my bedroom?"

"Yes dear."

Next morning Tom called Thelma Lucas. "I want your sister."

She laughed and said Dianne could be rather choosy.

"I meant as a housekeeper."

"Oh good, I was becoming jealous for a moment."

"How are your tits?"

"What? Oh I'd forgotten about your fetish. They have their ups and downs. Actually my husband Alex is under less pressure at work and has been really attentive to me lately."

"I'm pleased."

"Are you really Tom?"

"Absolutely. You are not available to me Thelma and I accept that. What's more I enjoy our quirky relationship."

"Quirky?"

"We both know there is something we'd like from each other but know is remains impossible to consummate."

"God you talk well for a printer."

Tom laughed. "Although I believe I can picture your body in minute detail, no way do I claim to be an artist. I just possess the art of being able to picture that of which I wish to see, perhaps more developed than most people. I personally think it's a shame but I suspect you wish your breasts were much smaller so you could appear more elegant in those excruciatingly lovely bras specialist shops sell."

"Omigod how could you possible know I often think like that?"

"I tried to how you would think when I was looking at a magazine picture of a model in a sweet little bra. It wasn't difficult to arrive at the conclusion I did. I daresay many women of the larger size would also think like that as would people would big feet think about small, elegant shoes."

They talked for a few more minutes and then Thelma said someone had arrived on appointment to see her. I'll visit Dianne tonight and if she's interested she could call you tomorrow."

At 10:40 that night Julie and Tom were watching a TV film, the twins were asleep, when the house phone went. Julie went to the kitchen to answer. She returned and smiled. "Some lush with a sexy voice wishes to speak to you. She said her name is Mrs Dianne Lusk. Have you been a naughty boy daddy?"

Tom attempted to swat her butt but Julie was too quick for him.

"Tom Woodhead speaking."

"Oh hi Tom, it's Dianne speaking. My sister told me you like big boobs. Mine are almost as large as hers."

Tom licked his lips. "Are you Thelma's sister?"

"Yes and clever boy because I suppose she didn't say my surname was Lusk."

"Correct."

"Tell me, and please don't be shocked by me being so forward; if you and I hit it off can I sleep with you?"

"Er and um..."

"I'm asking could we engage in sex?

"I hope you can understand this but I would have to put that proposal to a family meeting: the twins are 15 and their older sister is 17 and possibly could become jealous of you if you wanted to sleep with me. But first there has to be a meeting at which they look your over."

"Oh God, of me nude?"

"No look you over in the sense of assessing you for mutual compatibility. They are against crabby, limited intelligent, smelly, too authoritative, too and restrictive and unmusical housekeepers."

"Phew I'm none of those. Would you like now to talk about my breasts?"

"If you don't mind no. Could you come here today at 5.30 for the interview?"

"Yes of course. I can then cook dinner for all of us. I have your address."

"Great, I look forward to meeting you Mrs Lusk."

"Please don't be a pain Tom, call me Dianne. You may wish to know my bra size is 34C."

She cut the call, leaving Tom licking his lips.



When the twins arrived home Tom said, "A potential housekeeper is coming for a family interview at 5:30. I decided on a full family interview because I've made some bad choices and believe we may do better as a team. She is a younger woman."

The twins appeared disinterested, doing little more than shrug but then to Tom's surprise Ada pulled out her phone and made a call.

"Hi. You best come home early. I think dad might have flipped. We are to interview a potential housekeeper at 5:30. Apparently she is much younger than usual... yes younger."

The father thought, our father appears to have flipped? What the hell was that about?

Tom looked at his watch when he heard the garage door open and Julie drive in 'her' car as the kids now called it. This might be a record early arrival home for her in recent months, er since her mom's death.

Julie raced in.

"Tell me about her. Ada said younger."

"What?"

Ada appeared from nowhere and accused, "You told me younger."

"She sounds younger."

"Sounds younger than what?" Tommy asked, his guitar practice interrupted. "Do you mean since the previous time you spoke to her?"

Tom couldn't figure what this was about. Why this intense interest?

"I guess she is younger... I've not met her."

Three pairs of eyes bored in on him giving him a trapped feeling. God he ought to have stayed at the plant instead of coming home early to tidy up.

"I know her sister who is our case officer."

Julie said ominously, "Our case officer?"

Tom groaned "Oh Jesus" and explained that under law in their state if minors were not being adequately cared for they could be declared wards of the state. "But presumable not you Julie because you're about to turn eighteen but I'm not sure about that."


The Housekeepers



"There was a risk that the state would seize us and you kept that from us?"

Tom was close to panic. Julie's face was heating up and she was ready to let rip. 

"What kind of fucking father are you?"

Tom fought to appear calm, his heart pounding. If his voice cracked he was gone.

"You met the case officer the day your mother died."

"Heaps of people came here... we don't recall meeting a case officer, do we kids?"

The twins said no and moved to stand behind Julie who now had her shoulders squared and looked ready to step forward.

"The case officer Mrs Lucas told me at our second meeting she'd probably accept our situation is I employed a housekeeper."

Ada said, "So that's why we had to have a housekeeper instead of doing what we wanted and that was to share jobs?"

"Yeah," said Julie and Tommy added his yeah.

"This new candidate is Mrs Lucas' younger sister but how much younger I have no idea. Kids please give me a break. I'm only a guy attempting to do his best for the family."

"Tell him we think he's okay," Ada ordered. 

Julie said, ""Despite your shortcomings we think you are okay."

Tom was reaching the conclusion it was now Ada who called the shots in moments of crisis. Tommy kept his mouth shut and Julie provided the muscle. Why the fuck did the authorities believe these kids needed mothering or at least some kind of partial substitute?

"Yeah I'll say it again, you're okay dad," Julie said coming forward. Tom flinched as she grabbed him and kissed him.

"Would one of you pour me a whisky, straight," Tom said.

Tommy moved to fetch it but his twin called, "No way will I allow potential wards of the state touch alcohol. Think what the authorities will say to that transgression even if we deny we ever drink the stuff? And daddy we don't want you breathing the smell of booze over our candidate and for fuck sake do your hair and wear a tie; a jacket can be optional."

Julie and Tommy looked startled. To their knowledge it was the first time their father had heard Ada use the F-word.

"Yes Ada," Tom replied politely. "I think we all should be on our best form. I never realized you guys wanted a younger, I mean a much younger housekeeper. This candidate might be as young as thirty but that's just a guess."

"You never asked us," Ada said. "I suggest you don't get carried away thinking thirty is not old but it's a huge improvement on the age of housekeepers we've had until now with three of them being older than grandma."

"Why is this candidate not married?" Julie demanded.

Her father said, a little uncomfortably, "She is but her husband is divorcing her."

"Why?"

Tom said he was unable to elaborate.

"Omigod, she's been screwing around. I like her already," Julie beamed.

"Yeah," said Tommy.

"Shut up Tommy," Ada said. "You are not supposed to know about things like that at your tender age."



CHAPTER 2

Everyone was dressed semi-formal with the house looking very tidy.

At 5:31 Julie looked at the wall clock in the family room and said mournfully, "She's decided not to come, finding out we have an elderly father."

Tom rolled his eyes and suddenly the outside door was flung open and in walked a great-looking redhead, face full of uncovered freckles and apparently not wearing a bra and in tight shorts and scuffs.

"Hi folk, catch kid," she said, tossing a big bottle of coke at Tommy. She dropped a parcel on to the table and said. "I've fetched some hot fries. Any chance of a wine? I don't want us sitting round like mutants wonder what the fuck we were about."

The family boggled. Boggled hugely. For the first time since the death, sunshine appeared to be filling the house.

Julie beamed and said, "Hi, I'm Julie. You must be the most unsuitable housekeeper in creation for teenagers like us. You are very, very welcome."

"Yeah," said Tommy, his father not noticing his son staring at Mrs Lusk's tits.

"Hi I'm Tom the father. These are the twins Ada and Tommy."

"Hi guys. You only look like brother and sister to me."

"Are you musical?" Tommy asked, arriving with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

"Yes I guess so. I sing quite well, play the guitar and can make do on the piano.'

The wine bottle crashed on to the glass table and Tommy stared at the visitor, his jaw hanging open.

"Have I said something wrong or have I mentally over-challenged you?"

"M-may I s-sit by you?" Tommy asked.

"Yes," said the new housekeeper although the decision had yet to be announced. "You are a strange kid," she said, pulling him into her breast and tousling his blonde hair."

"You have freckles," Ada said jealously.

"Oh how wonderfully observant you are darling but don't fret, you'll get your share of hugs and kisses. You kids appear to be doing so well so soon after the calamitous loss of your dear mother. Like fucks up at times but then we know life must go on, don't we? I guess you have tried hard to be the surrogate mother Julie?"

"Sort of I suppose but Ada appears to have taken over that role. Why do you allow your facial freckles to display?"

"Because I've decided they are part of me so why should I hide them, but I do smother make-up over them when I dress up."

"Will you teach me about make-up and body care... my girlfriends give me different opinions."

"Yes dear. Do you shave?"

"Yes," Julie said without hesitation and keeping her eyes fixed on the visitor.

"Good girl," Dianne said. "This is lovely wine."

"Why have you twice used the F-word?" Ada asked.

"It's a ploy darling although I must confess to being a little foul-mouthed. I wished to be open with you, to show I'm human and vulnerable but am a happy person, all rolled into one. The aim was to make a very favorable impression."

"You are hired," Julie said. "Dad will negotiate. "Ada?"

"Yes I think you will be a great role model Mrs Lusk."

"Oh what sweet thing to say darling. You all must call me Dianne."

Julie called Tommy.

"Yes, Dianne is into music."

"Dad?"

"Thank you for consulting me Julie. In this decision I'm behind you kids 101 percent."

"Will there be any problem if I choose to sleep with your father?"

"I was hoping that would be a logical step," Julie said. "The kids and I have already discussed this as a possibility."

"Yes," said Ada. "Now that I've met you I'd like you to fit into the very core of our family. Are you noisy in bed?"

"Yes, if the mood takes me."

"That's okay. The parental bedroom is well separated from ours, probably for that very reason."

"How old are you Ada?"

"Fifteen."

"God when I was fifteen I couldn't think like that with such maturity. I did nothing much but look at boys and giggle."

"You appear to have survived coming through the teenage crisis very well Dianne. In fact I pick you to be very engaging, very fluent, very courageous and absolutely charming."

"Omigod, how old did you say you were?"

"Mom's death appears to have accelerated Ada into maturity," Julie said, "But then she's always been a brain."

There was a moment's silence as everyone sipped their drink and reflected.

Dianne stood and held out her hand and said to Julie, "Come darling, show me the run of the kitchen and help me with dinner. You already are growing into a sexy lady but you must also possess the other attributes males require and Number One of the list is being a superb cook. Great female cooks who look the sexiest mostly end up with the best men. It's how life works." 

"Fetch my two cases from the car please Tommy and make sure it's locked," Dianne said. "My outgoing husband would dearly love to repossess it."

Tommy came running back in with the two bags and a make-up kit. "Omigod, Dianne drives a near-new Mercedes coupe."

"I thought she would drive something like that," Ada said. "Our new housekeeper is all style. Be careful with her daddy."

Tom gulped down wine.

* * *

The kids had disappeared for the night. Dianne said, pushing away her empty coffee cup, "I'm very comfortable in my bedroom. You have a lovely home and maintain it well. When would you like me to move into your bedroom?"

Tom hesitated in replying.

"Don't be afraid. If you don't wish me to sleep with you or have sex with me just say so. I won't be offended or walk out on you."

"I-I can't understand why you are being so forward about this."

"Would you accept that I absolutely love having sex?"

That response washed away Tom's uncertainty and he grinned. "God you are great."

"I'm only playing at being me; no deception is involved and I'll be frank with you. Thelma told me you are driving her crazy with desire because you appeared to be having mental sex with her on the last two occasions you guys met."

"Oh God."

"It's okay, she does try very hard to be a good girl. I'm quite happy to lose the struggle and I doubt if I'll ever change and that means longer term I'll be unsuitable for you because you have a big conservative streak in you. But we are talking about here and now. Thelma dropped the hint about me being available because it solves two problems in one hit. My reputation has taken a bit of a hit and many of my friends are grappling with the thought that I have been the Scarlet Woman in respect of my imminent divorce. Thelma knows I can't keep my nose out of the sex trough and thought if I could settle in with you we'd both get the sex and affection we both need and none of my friends would be aware where I was or what I was doing."

"Thelma is a good organizer."

"Actually she's a wonderful woman and you are probably a better mate for her that her husband is because Ralph wears his feelings deep and has difficulty in emoting, even with their kids."

"You have strong impressions about me after only knowing me for five hours."

"Thelma has talked to me long and often about you. I reached the point of thinking about you when working my dildo when alone at nights."

"Oh you poor darling."

"Thank you Tom, I find that very encouraging."

She stood up and was reaching for the cups when Tom said, "Leave those. Just stretch out over me and let's begin a little intimacy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes but only for a little warm up."

"I'd like that. What should I take off?"

"Nothing."

Dianne went over and closed the door and returned, wetting her lips. She slowly lowered fully over Tom, working his legs between hers, as if hoping to feel something promising.

"This is a lovely way to get to know one another sexually," she said. "That's if we are to go that far."

"We appear capable," he grinned.

She smiled and lowered her lips on to his.

They kissed at length and he stroked her face. She lifted a little to make herself more accessible but no effort was made to touch her breasts, disappointing her no doubt. She finally sighed and kissed him fully and rose to leave.

"Thanks, that was lovely. I'm sorry..."

"Hush, I'm prepared to be patient. In the meantime Mr Dildo awaits me."

"Do you find that a good substitute?"

"It's better than nothing."

"I'm glad you are prepared to substitute as my wife. You have made an amazing impact on the kids already. You will be so good for us and I hope we return in kind."

"Thelma is correct... you do say lovely things."

Next morning when alone in the house, Dianne called her sister.

"Hi, I'm living in Brook Terrace, with one foot in the door."

"Oh I'm delighted about that. I believe he'll take a day or two to thaw and then act and perhaps a day after that will be up your butt."

"Oh bring it on," Dianne huffed, squeezing a breast.

"We kissed quite a bit last nigh but nothing more than that. I'm amazed how well you described him and his ways and yet you have only spent a little time with him. You've fallen for him haven't you?"

"Dianne don't and please, please don't mention that suspicion to him."

"Suspicion. Ha! Actually I think he has an obsession with your big tits. He's not attempted to touch mine."

"You have a great pair darling. Just give him time. I wish I were there to listen in on the 'Meet the family' interview last night. I assume you were your inimitable self and blew asunder their intentions of conducting a formal interval."

"Yes, it went my way. Actually there was no evidence of dysfunctionality if there is such a word."

"There isn't but I said say he was too well in control of himself to head a dysfunctional family."

"Well now you have confirmation. How can I get him to have sex?"

"God you of all people asking me that! The one word of advice I offer is patience. He has a dick not being used for its secondary purpose and will be acutely away of that, especially when seeing your boobs flopping about. I hope you took my advice about not wearing a bra?"

"Yes I didn't wear one and didn't pack any but there was an unfortunate side effect: the little guy was staring at them."

"At his age he'll be more interested in sighting your pussy."

"Jesus."

"Its only a preordained part of growing up darling, nothing to worry about."

"Oh the kids brought up the subject; they have no problem with me sleeping with their father, or so they said."

"Well that's something. If you can't lay him I bet no other woman can."

"Except you Thelma but it appears you have yet to discover what a hot bitch you really are."

* * *

Thelma recoiled slightly in shock from her phone when her sister cut the call. Never in her life until now had it been even remotely suggested she was a hot bitch. Thelma was unsure of exactly what that meant but she had a fair idea... Definition: one who likes her cunt pounded without particularly worrying who was doing the pounding. She agreed with the first bit but rejected the second part of that definition because it could not possible apply to her.

She was well aware her capacity for sex had never been fully exploited and sex at home was now reduced to infrequent and unimaginative and not particularly enthusiastic bouts of ... well enough of that. If Dianne had not given her a vibrator and three sizes of butt plugs and taught her the techniques she would have probably gone mad in chronic frustration. 

It was so unfair of Alex to treat her sexual need with such arrogant indifference. God if the kids had been well into their teens she would have considering leaving him and looked for a loving guy who liked using his cock. Dianne needed sex too and she hoped Tom wasn't another of those guys who had a window-dressing attitude towards sex. She doubted that he was because she'd seen passion flickering. Guys who were lackadaisical about fucking usually also lacked the ability to be generated by inner passion. Perhaps after Dianne finished with Tom she'd try him out for herself, perhaps only for a couple of times. Yes, why not. Oh yeah?

Thelma sighed. She had been tempted to tell Dianne to walk in nude on Tom within fifteen minutes of him going off to bed and to grab his dick, whether soft of not, and say something like, "Hi honey, look what I have got to put around this little man... er or perhaps this big man."

Oh hell who was she to advise her younger sister who probably had more fucks in a year that she'd had in her lifetime. And that's why she wouldn't advise her except to call for patience. Dianne would know when available pussy was around that men would go for it, sooner rather than later. God why couldn't her husband think like that? Thelma was tempted to slink off home and bash herself with her vibrator. But instead she returned to writing up reports.

* * *

Dianne practically had an orgasm that evening when stretched out over Tom she lifted and he actually grabbed hold of a boob. He just held on to it without squeezing or moving a finger on to a nipple. Elated she reached down and felt... oh shit, practically nothing. Just a limp sausage.

A little despondent she remained on hold, wishing, and gradually her wish was granted. She felt his dick in her hand, under his pants of course, beginning to inflate. Obviously his blood was pumping, even if Tom wasn't.

It appeared to grow into more than a handy size and that discovery sent Dianne into near palpitations. She was so happy and of course he spoilt it by yawning and announcing, "Time for me to amble off to bed. I have talks with representatives of a major client company in the morning."

God business was far more important than fucking, wasn't it? She felt like crying. In bed Dianne felt so frustrated she attempted to experiment and for the first time got an inch of the dildo hanging out of her pussy under and up into her asshole. She thought she ought to feel disgusted but the physical triumph of her endeavor wouldn't allow her to demean her achievement. She then though about having Tom's cock up her butt and suddenly found she managed to shove in another inch of dildo. She made a note to buy a longer one.

The next morning she was cleaning Julie's bedroom and found the computer had not been closed down. Dianne brought it out of sleep mode and found Julie had been working on her diary. She spent almost an hour reading it and found that at eighteen Julie was bemoaning she was still a virgin.

Early that evening when the twins had begun their homework but as usual Julie was frittering away time and would plow into her work after dinner, Dianne went to her room and closed the door.

"May we talk?"

"Yeah."

"Intimately, about you?"

"I'm not gay."

"I'm glad about that. Now don't get mad but you left your computer on this morning and being a nosy bitch I read your diary."

"You nosy bitch," Julie said, getting off her bed. "I ought to whack you across the nose."

"I suggest you don't try."

"What will you hit back."

"More than that, I'll probably knock you through the wall."

"Tough are we?"

"So you're still a virgin and fret about being that way?""

"You read my diary."

"We've been through that darling and you threatened to hit me. May we move on?"

"Like what?"

"If you really want to be fucked you have to focus on being fucked. The first thing is to choose a guy you think who'll fuck you and don't make the mistake of aiming too high in appeal. Then you let him know you are available but you must never, never pester him for it otherwise you can say goodbye to that guy and if he talks you'll get a bad reputation."

"Is that all?"

"Yes but take care about your own safety."

"I have more or less tried doing what you have said."

"With focus?"

"Um I can't remember."

"Darling if you want something bad enough you'll get it."

Julie took on a naughty look. "Are you and dad fucking yet?"

Dianne replied, "We are talking about you Julie.""

"Goodness, you have real focus, don't you?"

"It is acquired darling and is useful for almost everything you do in life."

Julie hugged and kissed Dianne and said it had been lovely that Dianne had chosen to discuss things like that."

"Show my your pussy Julie."

"I-I said I'm not gay."

"This is nothing to do with that. I want to see what the guy you want to seduce you will see."

"God it's so hairy. I thought you said you shaved."

"I do, my armpits and legs."

"Well cleaning up around pussy won't add too much to maintenance. When we get some time alone in the house I'll shave and clip you so that you look damn attractive down here and after that you'll know what to do by way of maintenance."

"Oh thanks. I'll be ever so grateful."

Their relationship really developed from that day for the three months Dianne would remain with the family.

That evening before Dianne stretched out over Tom she unzipped him and pulled out his dick. That was fairly easy to do because he was semi-erect.

They kissed and tonight she thought she detected greater enthusiasm although nothing of note eventuated between then and when they missed and departed for their beds.

Dianne gave him fifteen minutes and then went nude to his bedroom and closed the door.




The Housekeepers



"Hi," he said. "I'm jerking off thinking about your pussy."

"Would you like me to bring you to ejaculation?"

"Yes please."

"I like to do it with the lights on."

He switched them on, blinked and said the obvious, "You're nude."

"I'm here to be fucked Tom."

"Right."

Right? She could have strangled him. She had really expected him to make an effort.

She scowled as he lay like a wet sack... until her mouth closed over his dick. He then came alive, thrust his dick to the back of her mouth and then grabbed and twisted her nipples.

Caught unexpectedly, Dianne almost wet herself.

Christ he was unusual.

She worked away, feeling very aroused herself, and finally he warned he was coming. Dianne simply twisted his balls, not too hard, and opened her mouth and took every shot and allowed most of it to dribble back on to him before she swallowed.

"Gee that was great," he enthused, resting back with an arm over his eyes.

"I suppose I'm free to go back to my bed now."

"Hell no, I want to fuck you."

Dianne's face was consumed by a huge smile and she sat on her haunches and waited patiently.

She watched Tom work up a full erection and wondered what he'd do to her and she didn't have to wait long.

Grinning he threw her on to her front, drew her up by her waist and then sank his dick into her dripping cunt.

Yes cunt. She used that term to herself when she was heated up over sex.

It was a great session and he proved he could handle her pretty well and that pleased her.

They sweated and puffed to a mutually satisfying conclusion and she asked, "Do I move in with you now."

"Yeah, stay the night and move your things in tomorrow. Welcome to my side lovely lady." 

After cleaning up and brushing her teeth, Dianne sent a phone text message to her sister: 'We did it tonight. Marvelous. Di.'

Dianne woke Tom when climbing into bed and he grabbed her and they were soon banging again. She liked living in this house but knew she had to find a descent life for herself and wished to start virtually from scratch, choosing a guy who'd never been married.

Two weeks later when Julie was away from the weekend with a bunch of friends and two lots of parents Dianne was delighted to receive an email: 

'Lost my cherry. A bit scary but the second time was better and the third really great. I followed your advice and that's how it happened. The guy even said I appear to have great focus. XXX.'



CHAPTER 3

Almost a month after Dianne had finished working for the Woodhead family and departed, in the hope of finding her new life, Tom entered a café and spotted Thelma seated and apparently eating alone.

He choose an already prepared chicken salad and coffee and standing behind Thelma said, "Ma'am may I sit at this table?"

"I would prefer not, there are plenty of vacant tables and I..." By then she'd turned and focused and saw her was the attempted interloper.

"Oh Tom, how lovely to see you. Oh do please join me."

She stood and kissed him and Tom recklessly ran a hand over a boob, the first time he'd touched her like that."

"Oh Tom," was all she said. She looked at him intently and made no effort to smack his hand away although she'd had to be fast because the sliding hand took all of six seconds to surf the hump.

"You have just the sweetest breasts."

"Oh Tom she moaned and flopped back on her chair. 

Tom took control and when seated said, "How is everything with you?"

"What?"

"How well are you coping with life and how happy are you?"

"I'm going okay," she smiled but Tom detected the lack of enthusiasm in the reply.

"Thank you for sending your sister to us. Dianne was brilliant and pulled us all back on course."

He then leaned forward and whispered, "We fucked."

"So I heard," Thelma whispered.

"What, you heard the bed head thumping?"

"No."

"That was said as a joke Thelma. Are you really okay?"

"Yes thank you." She stood and said she must go.

Tom remained seated and continued eating and said, "Well off you go; I know when I'm not wanted. I'm sorry to have been such a big impost."

Thelma hurried away to pay for her meal and left without looking over to where he was seated, watching her.

Tom muttered over the chicken salad he'd wished he'd waited for a steak sandwich to be made. What a fucking disaster.

* * *

Thelma returned to her office, having wiped away her tears. She wore her sunglasses inside to conceal her red eyes. What an absolute disaster. She'd been waiting to meet Tom by chance and had rehearsed a little speech that they really must get together and have sex... er have fun... er go out for a meal. Thelma was appalled. Christ what had happened to her confidence... she was acting like a blithering idiot.

She guessed what was the matter. She had this great desire to jump into Tom Woodhead's arms but her conservative upbringing and her conservative ways developed since then, probably because of the pressures to perform her job straight down the middle had left her unable to embark on an adulterous affair.

Dianne had described him as a consummate lover, almost the best she'd ever had, and that came from her sister who'd had probably the equivalent of an Army division of lovers. Yes she'd panicked and yes she was not the kind of person to be fucked legless by an adulterer. Yes she'd be far more comfortable and far better off by concentrating on something else like floral art. All women who did floral art were probably escaping from sex.

As the afternoon wore on Thelma began wallowing in despair and knew she had to do something about it. She called her husband at his office and Alex said yes, he had time to talk.

"I think we should end our marriage."

There was silence and she heard a rustle and pictured him wiping his nose on his shirt-sleeve.

"This is a bit of a shock."

"Yes," she said, wondering where this would go.

"I must admit I haven't been particularly happy at the way things have been going for the past two years and know I have only myself to blame."

"I may have contributed," Thelma said, marveling how two adults could talk so conversationally about something as serious as this over the phone.

"I think I might be gay."

"What?" she cried.

"Yeah it's sort of crept up on me. At first I thought is was linked to all this favorable publicity gays get from gays being thickly represented in the media and that it would pass. But recently I have become very aware I now glance at male butts rather than the butts of women."

Thelma felt like vomiting but managed to hold her cool. "Well then?"

"I guess we better sit down and talk this through thoroughly but I must say I find your proposal more appealing than what I would have expected."

She took a deep breath. "Me too and I suggest the kids stay with me."

"I wouldn't want it any other way. I never really wanted kids."

Two weeks later Thelma came away from her attorney's office feeling rather bewildered, having just signed papers to held initiate divorce proceedings. She now would have to tell Sally who was twelve and 10-year old Mace. She thought it might be less difficult than she'd thought initially, thinking she doubted the kids really liked their dad. She did practically everything for them but did kids think that rationally?

She sat down with them after dinner and said, "I have something important to tell you. Your father and I have decided to split."

Sally looked at Mace and he shrugged.

"Mace and I have been waiting for this to happen. We have learned from other kids whose parents have split what signs to look for. Daddy has been doing less and less with us and you have become more and more moody. Also these days we don't hear you guys having sex."

Thelma almost fell out of her chair.

"I won't mind if you guys split providing I can live with you," Mace said. "This won't be liked by my friends but I can't do anything about that. I like you better than I like dad."

Thelma began to weep.

"Are you okay mom?" Sally asked.

"I'm just rather worried."

"I'll hug you and I can tell you I love you heaps better than I love dad. Actually can anyone really love dad?"

"I thought I did," Thelma said, a began crying aloud and Sally began crying.

"You guys are busy with the waterworks. I'm going to play on the swing," Mace announced.

Ten days later Thelma was back to her old self. She fired up her courage and called Tom.

"Oh hi Thelma. Checking up on us."

She said something like that and he said they were going along fine without a housekeeper. The kids were very cooperative and Julie got friends over to help with the housework and they went at it like a game. It was very interesting to watch seventeen and eighteen-year-olds pretending they were mothers. There had been a problem with Tommy asking three of the girls to show him their breasts. One went off in disgust but the other two gave Tommy a show and allowed him to touch them and the third girl returned and did the same.

"I wasn't home the next Thursday when the three of them showed Tommy much more..."

"You mean..."

"Yeah but he wasn't allowed to touch. One of the girls thumped him when he said they should shower because they were smelly."

"They all ended up laughing according to Julie."

"Julie was involved?"

"Yeah and she told me later Tommy thought she had the best looking pussy. She was ever so pleased."

"Now you know what mothers have to deal with," Thelma said. "Oh before I forget may I take you to lunch on Saturday."

"Yeah I'd like that. Are you going to take Julie's lead and show me your pussy?"

"Tom." Thelma said.

He laughed and she managed a bit of a laugh to indicate no harm done.

It had been almost three months for both of them since Thelma and Alex had had more than anything approaching real sex and she'd increase her use of her medium-sized butt plug and dildo. That evening she was using the dildo but not butt plus and had rolled her ass up quite high when the free end of the dildo scraped across her anus. Without really thinking she push it back and felt it almost go in. She wet the end and pushed and slowly it went in and Thelma ended up getting herself off rather well. She was unaware her younger sister had also made that accidental discovery many weeks earlier. She decided to purchase a double-ended dildo and the though quite excited her.

"Thank goodness I haven't lost my interest in sex," she cooed aloud.

On Saturday Thelma went to the restaurant to meet Tom. She had chosen a white trouser suit because she thought he might be tempted to put a hand under a skirt after being told she and her husband were seeking to divorce. Then she thought she'd like to him to be a little interested but dismissed the thought of not wearing a bra. Her size made her feel a little like a cow when she was out of a bra although she quite accepted there were some guys like Tom who liked them big, heavy and all over the place. She compromised and went without a shirt, knowing that would allow him to stare at her cleavage.

She actually walked into the restaurant feeling rather excited but when she saw him already seated and looking quite the lady-killer in white pants and a black white button shirt she lost much of her confidence but he saw her and stood and waved.

There was no turning back, not that she really wanted to do that.

God she needed a drink. Seconds before Tom kissed her he ordered two Vodka martinis. She should really kiss him so opened her mouth and turned the politely welcoming kiss into something of a tongue-wrapping quickie.

"God you kiss beautifully," he grinned.

"I thought something special was in order. I'm in the process of becoming a free woman although I'll have my two children till they are old enough to leave home."

"Oh how devastating for you. I am so sorry."

Huh, wasn't he supposed to be suggesting they eat quickly and go somewhere for goodness knows what?

"I-I'm not unduly upset," she said, feeling somewhat confused. 

"God you sound a hard woman."

Thelma also slapped him but then thought perhaps it were he who was confused.

"My husband appears to be turning gay. He's confessed as much."

"God you have to get out of there," Tom said protectively and taking the children with you.

"No it's fine. He's shifted out and is living with his parents."

"What did he say?" Tom asked, adding if that wasn't regarded a rude question.

Thelma was a little upset, not at the question but because as far as she could make out Tom had not once looked at her breasts. Had now switched to butt or pussy?

"He confessed he may have been partly going that way but it could have been hastened by all the over exposure and sympathy gays get from the media."

"Yeah I've noticed that too. Gay journalists and gay editors must swamp the media. Did he say anything else?"

"Only that he now looks at male butts instead of female butts."

Tom's eyes widened and he roared in laughter as if she'd told him the joke of the month.

Thelma patted her left breast. At last she had him looking at a breasts.

"You have great cleavage. In my opinion and only from what I've seen from the distance you have the best packaged breasts in this city."

Thelma's confidence came tumbling back. Surely that comment meant he was out to fuck her breasts. She hoped he was long enough for the challenge.

The lunched happily and eventually Tom looked at his watch and said he must dash in a few minutes and pick up the twins.

Oh dear, her thoughts of being taken somewhere, even in the back of his car, to have sex were crumbling.

But then, amazingly, he smiled and said. As both of us have children we'll have to become experts at planning if we wish to spend time alone. I have a built-in baby-sitter, er unless she is dating, but you might not."

"I can make arrangements," Thelma said, perhaps a little too eagerly, thinking gee he's taking it for granted she wanted to be with him.

He said great, she had boosted his confidence. "I'm a widower and remain unsure whether you'd want to date me."

Thelma learned forward and said yes, yes.

"I mean I'd really like to fuck your tits."

She looked around wildly but no one appeared to have heard that.

She nodded and said yes, yes.

"And to fuck you over the arm of a sofa," he whispered.

"Oooh yes please," she whispered.

"And then hopefully to engage in anal sex?"

Thelma's hands were perspiring and she was sure beads of sweat would appear on her forehead any time soon.

Before she could answer, that is if she could answer that question in a crowded restaurant, he stood and said, "Come I'll drop you off at your home and will then collect the twins. You invited me to lunch so it is inappropriate for me to barge in and overrule you."

"Yes I agree and thank you for being such a gentleman."

Tom appeared confused why she'd be calling him a gentleman when he scarcely knew her but already was promising to fuck her near senseless including up the ass. He just smiled and took her across to pay, standing beside her tall and handsome and reminding her very much of the perfect gigolo. 

Outside her home before they parted Tom managed to get his tongue deep into her mouth and was grinding a tit with a hand, much to her delight.

"Hi mom," said Sally, who'd seen the car stop across their driveway and had come out to greet her mom whom she now stared at calmly.

"Oh gawd, just drive off as soon as I get out," Thelma whispered. " I'll introduce you two some other time when she will have forgotten this."

"Young girls never, never forget their mom being naughty," Tom said helpfully. He wasn't allowing her to mislead herself.

Thelma left the vehicle and said, "Hello darling. I'll introduce you to my friend some other time."

"Mom did you feel where he had his hand?"

Tom drove away chuckling and said, "Kids!" So that was his stepdaughter-to-be, er possibly. She was a pretty kid and acted confidently.

An hour later Thelma phoned and he said yes he was free to talk.

"You must keep your hands off my tits when other people are around, especially my children."

"That's a sensible request," he said, although not committing himself. "I'm surprised you call them tits."

"I was attempting to make myself abundantly clear and using appropriate words so there could be no misunderstanding."

"Will you use the word tits to me when no one else is around, including my children."

"I suppose I could lower my standards just for you."

"How are you with the word cunt."

"I should warn you not to push too far Tom."

"Oh I aim to push into it hard and frequently."

Thelma sighed deeply and then giggled. "You are so naughty Thomas Woodhead."

"In that case can we go away for a very naughty weekend?"

"What?"

Tom waited for the shock to subside.

"You mean before my divorce is granted?"

"Hell yes, the legalities take a long, long time to grind through the system."

"Well I daresay I can think about it."

Tom said he'd be thinking about it constantly. "I have a place in mind and will pay for everything. You just bring formal dining out gear, rambling gear, a sexy swim suit, condoms and lube."

"Amigo."

"Yes a great weekend tailored around sex. What a wonderful weekend break for you... better than shopping I should think."

"Being a man you would think like that," she said laughing.

The laugh pleased Tom. It meant she was already getting used to the idea of enjoying a filthy weekend with him.



EPILOGUE

Everything worked out well. Thelma's divorce came through in late August and Julie went off to college in September but kept her room. Tom had two bedrooms added to the house that took most of the room that had been allocated for a future pool but instead had a lap pool constructed and the back porch enclosed and a Jacuzzi installed.

Tom and Thelma married at a small ceremony on Tom's 48th birthday in November and they honeymooned in Hawaii for ten days. Thelma had her 35th birthday while they were in Hawaii. The kids had a ball while they were away with Auntie Dianne, who'd found herself pregnant and was looking for a husband. Dianne allowed them to do almost anything and she solved the housekeeping problem by hiring a commercial firm who sent cleaners in every Monday and Friday. The kids were allocated housekeeping jobs on other days and everyone prepared, cooked and cleared away after meals.

Tom and Thelma arrived home from Hawaii with Thelma is quite a tizzy. She was damn sure she was pregnant. She was so mad she had temporarily placed a ban on sex apart from tit fucking. Dianne promised Tom she'd help out if the ban lasted too long. 

Tom's accountant Dan Wright at the plant is keen to remarry so Tom is planning to invite Dan and Dianne to dinner. He's already excited Dianne by claiming that Dan's favorite past time is sex and that his first marriage failed because his wife decided she didn't want children.

THE END