3 comments/ 92120 views/ 6 favorites The Deacon's Wife By: miskeivitch This story is actually the prequel to a story I wrote two years ago, "Sarah Liebowitz' Blog". In that earlier story, the Rev. Darren Brown provided some hints about his former employment. I hope you enjoy discovering the details as much as I did filling them in. * Janelle, the Fifth African Baptist Church of Savannah Georgia's receptionist, waved ta-ta to the Rev. Darren Brown on her way out for lunch. "See you tomorrow morning. It's Tuesday so don't forget that Deacon James' wife has an appointment with you at 1:00." Janelle was bright and quite pleasant but she was still a teenager just out of high school working her first job. The Fifth African Baptist Church was also Darren Brown's first job after graduating on a football scholarship from Georgia Baptist College. Located in a rundown section of Savannah, the church was poor and couldn't afford more than a young, inexperienced preacher, never mind a full-time, experienced receptionist and secretary. The economic situation of Afro-Americans was improving but it would take five more centuries at the present rates to achieve income parity with white folks. By implication, Darren Brown would wait another 500 years to earn as much as a new preacher in a white congregation. What bothered the Rev. Darren Brown even more than his low salary was that he hadn't been laid since high school. It was difficult enough for a short, heavy offensive lineman from a small college to compete for the cheerleaders with the skinny quarterbacks, halfbacks and offensive ends. Somehow, when the girl found out that Darren was an aspiring Baptist Minister, they lost what little interest they had. Couldn't even a cheerleader comprehend that religious people need to get it on once and a while? In taking on his first pulpit, Darren Brown assumed that Black Church, even a poor church, would be the ideal place for an educated Afro-American male to hook up with an equally sophisticated Afro-American female and end the sexual drought in his life. Unfortunately for Darren, the young chicks in the Fifth African Baptist Church took two things into account when evaluating the new minister's potential. Firstly, whereas his large physique made him a natural lineman, short and heavy did not exactly constitute chick magnet material. Fifth African Baptist Church had more than enough tall, handsome, jive-talking potential NBA recruits for the young women to pick and choose from. Besides, weren't all offensive linemen on steroids, which every girl knew made for hardened muscles but softened dicks? The other factor was that any man, woman or child could read the Fifth African Baptist Church's financial statements and discover the preacher's salary for themselves. Your average Savannah garage mechanic earned more than Darren Brown did. Darren Brown mentally laid aside his personal problems as well as his congregation's money troubles. The congregation simply needed to respond to his sermons, get the Sin out of their lives and come to the Lord. Then the church's and his own money problems would be over. He just wished there was a woman in his life to share the success he saw in the future. Enough pondering; he should start practicing his sermon for the following Sunday. This would be the eighth and probably not the last in a series of sermons on Sin. The Sin of the week was Adultery and Fornication, a dual subject sure to increase the weekly collection. Rev. Brown mounted the pulpit and glared at his imaginary congregation. "My text for today is Hebrews 13, verse 4, which says: "God will judge ALL adulterers and fornicators." His voice echoed throughout the empty church as he thundered through the warm-up preliminaries of the sermon, not missing one example of adultery and/or fornication in the Bible. Then he got into his attention-grabber, his outstretched hand tracing an arc over his imaginary audience. "And you are fornicators, all of you. You're all in need of redemption from the sins of adultery and fornication. The Holy Ghost has convicted me of being adulterer and a fornicator as well. Did you hear me, we're all fornicators, each and every one of us." Darren Brown scribbled a note to himself that perhaps he should think about softening up the attention-grabber so that the Sunday collection wouldn't drop. The church building could use a new roof. Darren Brown returned to his sermon. "Yes, Jesus says in the Good Book that 'Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her ALREADY in his heart.' That's Matthew 5, verses 27-28. You can look it up at home and I encourage you to read the Word for yourselves. Don't just take my word for it." Pointing at his imaginary adulterers and fornicators, Darren Brown raised his voice: "Can any of you men say you haven't looked on another woman with lust? And can any of you ladies say that you haven't looked on another man without wondering what he's got? That's why Jesus calls us such an "evil and adulterous generation" in Matthew 16. Yes, I've seen each and every one of you committing adultery and fornication in your hearts. That's why I say we're all adulterers. Come on; give me a loud Amen sisters and brothers." Darren Brown was startled by a hearty "AMEN" emanating from somewhere behind him. He turned around to see Alyshia James occupying her usual seat in the choir. He became so engrossed in the Sin of Fornication that he forgot completely his 1:00 pm appointment. Darren may have forgotten the appointment but Alyshia James was one unforgettable woman. Ezra and Alyshia James always seemed like an odd couple. Deacon Ezra was grey-haired, stern-looking and stooped from arthritis, the very model of an old man whereas Alyshia still looked youthful and vivacious. How old were they both? Ezra was a wizened old fart with hair growing in his ears but Alyshia didn't have a wrinkle or a hair in the wrong place. Darren Brown apologized for forgetting their appointment. Alyshia James brushed off the apology with an apology of her own. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that, Pastor Brown but I just love your sermons so much I had to see how you put them together. I hope you don't mind because I need to talk to you about somethin' important and I don't want you angry when I need your help." Of course Darren Brown wasn't at all angry. In fact, he quite liked Alyshia James even if he didn't know her all that well. She was the best singer in the choir and one of the best-looking women in his congregation. Alyshia James had probably gotten a little plump with age but Darren liked his women soft and cuddly. If he wanted to grab a hard body, he could take up football again. Today, Alyshia bore a wistful look as if she was slightly depressed. Well, that was probably what she wanted to talk about. Darren would give Alyshia his "Be joyful in the Lord" pep talk and a figurative pat on her lovely ass when he sent her on her way. "No, I'm not at all angry, sister James. It's just that you gave me a start there. Please don't take that guff about you being an adulterer and a fornicator too seriously. You've just listened to a work in progress and it won't come out exactly like that on Sunday. Let's go and talk in my office. I can practice my sermon later." Darren Brown followed Alyshia down the hallway to his office. He never noticed but Alyshia had a really sexy way of moving her round ass from side to side when she walked. He wished that, as Alyshia's pastor, he wasn't confined to just figurative pats on the ass. Her handbag swayed back and forth on her hips just the way he would love to have his own hands caress them. Choir robes hid all the sexy parts of a woman, including Alyshia's luscious boobs. Probably it was just as well that the choir women dressed like that. After all, didn't the Rev. Darren Brown pray "Lead us not into temptation" every week? Darren held a side chair like a proper gentleman so the Deacon's wife could get seated comfortably. Alyshia James crossed her legs, letting her dress slide above her knees to slightly expose the inside of a strong black thigh. Darren Brown instinctively shut the door to his office, despite being the only two people in the building. Darren sat down in his high-backed chair to keep Alyshia's legs safely on the other side of the desk out of sight and temptation. "Now, Sister James, what in your spiritual life brings you to ask for help? What do we need to bring before Jesus today?" "It's hard for me to admit this, Pastor Brown, but it's my marriage. Things ain't going well and it's come to the point where I have to look for help on my own. Ezra, well, he too proud to ask for help from anyone. He won't talk to me about our marriage. All he want to talk about are everyday things, not our relationship. I'm at the end of my rope and you're the only one I can turn to, Pastor." "Shoot," thought Darren. "This is gonna take more than just a 'Be joyful in the Lord' talk. Marriage and relationships would take up most of the afternoon. There goes my sermon time." He tried his best to hide his look of resignation. "Sister James, it's very difficult for me to do any marriage counseling when I can't talk to both spouses. The best I can do is offer you a little bit of spiritual support and some prayers for Ezra. If that's OK with you, why don't you just tell me what's wrong so that I know what we should pray about?" "Before I talk about my marriage, you hafta know a little bit about me. I wasn't always what I am today, the perfect Baptist church wife. First of all, my family ain't here in Savannah -- they a prominent family in Louisiana, active in the civil rights movement in the 60's. Their children supposed to become the New Black America, but I failed them and I failed my Lord in them days. I was a really wild teenager when I was in high school. I was one of them fornicators you talked about in your sermon just now. Only, I didn't keep my fornication in my head theoretical-like. I was the real thing. There weren't anything like sex education in high school in those days. As you might expect, I got knocked up real quick. I wouldn't even admit that I had been with a man. I loved the guy who done it and I weren't about to wreck his life. My parents were ashamed 'cause they knew it couldn't be Virgin Birth. They just screamed at me and said they were going to 'send me away' just like Joseph wanted to do with Mary instead of sending me to college to be a doctor or lawyer. Well, Daddy found Ezra James, twenty years older than me and just widowed with two children needing a mother so they sent me off to Savannah to marry Ezra. So, now you know about my past and you probably think I'm some kind of evil slut." "Sister James, if Jesus didn't condemn the adulterous woman in John 8: 11, I'm not about to condemn you for acting out of love. I can't say that I have a spotless record when it comes to Sin in my high school days. But remember that Jesus placed a condition on the woman, which was that she wouldn't sin any more. You've been faithful to Ezra in your marriage, I assume?" "Yes I may be a fornicator but I ain't no adulterer. I been a good girl since high school. There ain't been no other man in my life or woman for that matter. And Ezra be as righteous a man as you'll ever find. He ain't the type to fool around. Tell me, how did you know that's my very favourite Bible story? I love that story about Jesus and the woman everybody wanted stoned for adultery." "You don't seem to have the most common problem that marriages have today. But you still haven't told me what's gone wrong. Has Ezra been fair to you? I mean, is he stingy with you or did he treat your child worse than his own?" "No, Ezra a good man and loving in his own way. He be kind to me. He buy me nice clothes and he don't mind if I spend too much on groceries and the house. He raised my boy and treated him just like his own. And I raised his two boys, my boy and the girl we had together just like we were all family. Well, they're all on their own now, working and married or away at school. It's just Ezra and me and our marriage." "Sister Alyshia, I still don't see what your marriage problem might be. Does he beat you? Don't be ashamed. I'll get you to the Savannah Women's Shelter right away." "No, he never touch me and that's just the problem. He never lay a hand on me in anger or with love. He don't touch me at all. He don't make love to me no more. We ain't done it for years. It ain't like I don't try, Pastor Brown. When I try and cuddle up to Ezra, he just push me away. I think he's ashamed that he too old to get it up any more and that's why he didn't come with me!" Darren Brown stood up indignantly: "Why, it's a sin for a man to not make love to his wife. You can look it up in I Corinthians 7 and verse 3. It clearly states there that 'The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.' It's even more sinful that Ezra doesn't fulfill his marital duties to a woman as loving and beautiful as you. That makes it a double sin! In fact, it's a triple sin when all Ezra needs is the blue pill and a little bit of consideration!" Alyshia started to cry. Ever since he first started dating, Darren Brown felt helpless whenever a woman turned on the water taps from something he said. His pastoral counseling courses advised that the best course of action was to keep quiet and let the woman talk herself out. He walked around his desk and placed a second chair beside Alyshia. He sat down, his bulk ensuring that their bodies touched from shoulder to thigh. Alyshia recrossed her legs so that her left leg brushed Darren's shin. Her dress rose even higher up her leg. Now at least half the inside of her thigh was on display. Darren couldn't help but notice that Alyshia wasn't wearing nylons or pantyhose to cover up her smooth legs. Darren crossed his legs so that his left foot touched her right foot. Their body language spoke of a mutual attraction that they dared not express verbally. Darren clasped Alyshia's hand in his. Her hand was sensually soft and warm. Alyshia laid her head on his broad shoulder and started to weep softly. "It's so lonely, Pastor Brown to not be touched, to not know any intimacy. The reason I joined the choir was because Wednesday nights Ezra go out to play cards with his old cronies. I couldn't stand being even lonelier than I am when he be around. I started the Sisters of Martha group to clean the church so I would have something to do on Fridays." Repeating herself again and again, Alyshia described how neglected and how lonely she was, how cheerless her life had become, the needs of a woman her age and how all she thought about was sex. "Tell me about it," Darren thought. "I haven't banged pussy for years myself but I can't get sex out of my head." Finally, Alyshia stopped spilling her guts, letting Darren get in a word. "Sister James, we really need to pray into this situation. All this thinking about sex is interfering with your walk with the Lord. Bow your head and we'll join in spirit before the Lord. Gracious Father, we come before you in the Precious Name of Jesus. We come against Satan and all his works and especially against the sin of Ezra James in neglecting his marital duties and denying himself to his beautiful wife. Grant Ezra the gift of communication, so that he can express his feelings once again. Grant the gift of wisdom to his doctor so he can prescribe the proper pills to fill him with desire for this delectable creature. And we also pray for our sister Alyshia that she can resist all the wiles and temptations of the Devil. Grant her patience in her trials and keep her from harm and in chasteness. Clear her mind of those earthly thoughts so she can become heavenly-minded again. Lord, we pray that you will stoke the fires of love and desire in Ezra and Alyshia so they can join together once again as man and woman." As Darren prayed, Alyshia opened her eyes. She couldn't help but notice that there was a larger than usual bulge in her minister's pants. Alyshia felt a tingling sensation between her legs that Ezra hadn't been able to produce in her for years. She couldn't believe it but she was getting horny in the church. As Darren prayed for her chasteness, her thoughts were anything but chaste as she kept her head bowed and her eyes on Darren's lap. Darren concluded his prayer with a loud "Amen". One part of him hoped that this would give Sister Alyshia the hint that their appointment was concluded. There was a sermon waiting to be finished. The other side of him wished that Sister Alyshia would stay. Alyshia's head remained bowed and her hand gripped her Pastor's hand, granting Darren his second wish. Darren stared at the inside Alyshia's thigh, which seemed to gain more and more exposure the longer he prayed. He began to feel his dick getting hard in his pants. Their breathing deepened in unison. They realized they needed each other at this moment. They needed to be touched. They needed to be loved. They both needed the comfort of intimacy. Alyshia looked up at Darren with her brown, red-rimmed eyes. Their faces were two inches apart. "Did you mean what you said back there about me being beautiful? I ain't heard that from a man for years. That was such a beautiful thing to tell me." Alyshia slowly brought her face to his, her lips pressing against his softly. They kissed and then they kissed again. She kissed Darren a third time, this time opening her mouth. They exchanged tongues, Darren hesitantly, Alyshia eagerly. Darren's hands caressed her back as their tongues went far into each others' mouths. That gave Darren the courage to slowly slide his hand down her back until it cupped one cheek of Alyshia's full-size booty. He coveted Alyshia's ass from the moment they walked back to his office. Darren's hands lingered on Alyshia's ass and hips long enough to satisfy his suppressed desires. Tentatively, he moved his hands to just below Alyshia's breasts until she could stand it no longer. She grabbed his hand and placed it firmly on her breast. When a couple begin to engage in sexual activity, the world and its rules recede far away. Alyshia forgot that there was a Seventh Commandment concerning adultery. Darren forgot the Tenth Commandment that "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's ass." Darren ignored the fact that he was feeling up a Deacon's wife. Alyshia disregarded society's taboo against French Kissing an ordained minister. Alyshia broke off her deep kiss. "You asked me back there if I had followed Jesus' command to 'sin no more'. I think it's only fair to ask you the same thing. Don't mind me getting personal but have you sinned since high school?" Darren looked ashamed the way he shook his head. "Somehow, I thought not. That's no good at all. We've gotta do something about what we're both missing." Alyshia's proposition stoked the fires of lust into a conflagration. Darren lifted Alyshia by the shoulders onto his desk. Alyshia didn't put up any resistance, lying passively on the sermon papers. She raised her ass to help Darren take off her panties. Then, to Darren's surprise, Alyshia spread her legs open wide, holding them temptingly in the air. Her right hand parted her light brown pussy lips, glistening with wetness in the midst of lush, black curly bush. The Gates of Hell had swung wide open and beckoned the Rev. Darren Brown to enter therein. Darren unzipped his pants and pulled out his thick, uncut dick. He was already hard. He was ready to just plunge between Alyshia's willingly spread thighs when, to his surprise, she took his dick in her left hand, placing the tip at the opening of her vagina. "You are a big man in more ways than one, Pastor Brown. Remember that I've never had sex with a man as big as you. Please be gentle with me," Alyshia begged. The Deacon's Wife Alyshia was wet and juicy so just a little push opened her up, letting Darren's dick slide in an inch. Alyshia grunted audibly so Darren stopped and held Alyshia to himself. She felt so warm and soft that Darren wished this moment would last forever. His father always advised that, when fucking a woman who hadn't had it for a while, to take it slow. He held Alyshia for a few minutes more and then carefully let her down on her back. He stroked her swollen clitoris gently with his finger while he kept himself motionless inside her. She moaned "That's so good, Pastor Brown. You sure know how to get a woman going." The forgotten pleasures of intimacy began to rise like a tide and wash over her body. Then she gasped, "Now, just fuck me. Please fuck me hard and fast the way my math teacher gave it to me." So, that was what Alyshia meant by "wild in high school." Her secret lover in high school was one of her teachers. No wonder she wouldn't or couldn't tell anyone who the father of her first child was. Darren began pushing slowly in and pulling just as slowly out of her again, methodically going slightly deeper with every relentless stroke. Alyshia orgasmed the moment Darren hit her g-spot. Her hips jumped involuntarily, trying to feel her lover moving inside and to get his dick on the right place. She felt filled up and stretched to the limit as his dick burrowed further and further inside her. The friction of his hips moving inside her thighs aroused her desire again. She began moving with him, clutching his shoulders in her hands. "Give me more dick," she begged. "I want all of it and fuck me fast and hard," Alyshia screamed. Rather than shock or disgust at a Deacon's wife using the "Big F" or a word like "dick", Darren realized that dirty talk out of Alyshia's mouth only aroused him even more. Darren clutched her hips more tightly as he began to slam into her hard and fast, just the way she wanted it. Alyshia felt another orgasm building, this time from the thrusting motions of his thick dick filling her tight pussy. Darren groaned loudly and pulled her off the desk, so that she had to wrap her legs and arms around him to keep from falling off his thick body. Darren Brown clenched Alyshia's round ass in his hands and felt his dick twitching inside of her as he came, sparking her last and deepest orgasm. Sweating profusely, Darren perched Alyshia back on his desk. Alyshia unclenched her legs as Darren softened and then pulled out. She leapt off the desk saying: "Oh God, you haven't had it for a long time, either, I see. I can't let your sermon get all sticky. I'll be right back." Then she ran down the hall to the ladies' bathroom, leaving Darren Brown alone with his dick hanging out of his pants. Darren composed himself and zipped up his pants. He wiped his brow, sat down and tried to resolve his conflicting feelings. He had just made love to a beautiful woman after many celibate years. On the other hand, he was a pastor and the woman was married to the man who was, technically, his earthly boss. That made what he had done with Alyshia both morally dubious and a questionable career move. The only thing to do was to take this situation to the Lord. Alyshia entered the office looking quite composed. Darren was on his knees, staring into empty space and his lips were silently moving. She knew exactly what was going on in her pastor's mind. She had a broad smile as she counseled her minister in return: "Pastor Brown, please stand up. I bet you're feeling guilty about what we just done. You think we're both in a real fix. Am I right?" Darren Brown stood up, marveling at a woman's ability to read minds. "How did you guess that?" "Just call it a woman's intuition. I'm not feeling the least bit guilty. Not on your life. I wanted it just as much as you, probably more. You made me feel young again. I got rid of years of frustration. Anything that feels that good can't be all wrong. I don't regret a thing we done." "But it just doesn't feel right to me. I'm supposed to be a model to this congregation and you're married to the most prominent man in the same congregation." "And I believe that the Lord can make good come out of a bad situation. You just wait and see, Pastor Brown, if somethin' good don't come out of this." With that, Alyshia took her handbag from beside the chair and started to walk out of the office. She turned and asked "Do you still respect me, Pastor Brown?" Without any hesitation, Darren answered the trick question, "You know I do." Darren looked at his sermon on paper. He couldn't deliver this sermon in church on Sunday, not after what had just taken place in his office. Preaching on adultery and fornication would make him nothing better than a hypocrite. Darren Brown could be accused of many things but hypocrisy wasn't one of them. As he leaned forward to gather up the papers their lovemaking scattered, he felt something soft on the floor under his right foot. It was a pair of woman's panties. Alyshia had forgotten her underwear or perhaps she meant to leave a reminder of herself for Darren. Whatever the reason, Darren put the incriminating object in his jacket pocket before Janelle or the janitor discovered it. At home that night, Darren removed Alyshia's panties from his jacket pocket. Absentmindedly, he brought the cotton gusset to his nose. The scent of Alyshia's pussy reminded him of their encounter in the afternoon. "I've got to get my tongue on that," he thought. And he did get his tongue on Alyshia's pussy the very next night after choir practice. After that, Alyshia and Darren met regularly every Wednesday night after choir practice, as the Bible commands: "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together". That, however, will be the subject of other stories. The following Sunday, the Rev. Darren Brown mounted the pulpit for his Sunday sermon. He smiled, opened his Bible, cleared his throat and began his sermon: "My text today is the First Epistle of John, the Fourth Chapter beginning at the seventh verse. The Apostle John says: 'Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.' Brothers and sisters, I have a confession to make to all of you. God spoke clearly to me this week and convicted me of leading you astray for the past seven weeks with my sermons on Sin. The Lord told me to teach you about the beautiful things in life. Yes brothers and sisters, the Lord wants us to guard against committing sin but it's more important to act positively and to act lovingly. The Apostle Peter tells us in I Peter 4:8 that we should "love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." The Apostle John also tells us in Chapter Three of this epistle 'My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.' 'In deed' is a clear message to us to act out our love. The Apostle John tells us at the beginning of this Epistle, 'God is Love'. His Son, Jesus, came to show how much the Heavenly Father loves us. Do you see what I'm getting at here? Say Amen if you agree!" There were a few tentative "Amens" from the back of the congregation. The Rev. Brown wagged his finger at the congregation, prompting again: "Do you love Jesus, brothers and sisters?" More Amens echoed through the church. "How many of you brothers and sisters want to start acting lovingly right now? Give me another Amen if you want to change your lives. Jesus says in Mark Chapter 12 'Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself.' So here's what I want you to do right now. Turn to your neighbour and give him or her a big hug." The Rev. Brown stretched his arms as wide as he could. "Hug that person right now, especially if you've been on the outs with them. Tell them 'I love you' right out loud. Get right with that neighbour and get right with God." Un-Baptist pandemonium and love broke out in the pews among the congregation of the Fifth African Baptist Church of Savannah. Neighbours who hadn't talked to their neighbours for years hugged each other like long-lost relatives. Alyshia James rushed from the choir, gave Darren Brown a hug and whispered "I love you". Before he could say anything, all the ladies in the choir caught up with Alyshia and grabbed at the Rev. Brown's gown as if he were a rock star. To a woman, they all said how much they loved him. After the service, the Rev. Brown shook everybody's hand as they left the Sunday service. The last of the congregation filed out, with Deacon Ezra James last. "I need to talk to you about a couple of things. First of all, the treasurer just counted today's collection and it's twice as much as we usually get on a Sunday. I think your preaching's finally on the right track. I hated those gloomy sermons on Sin that you used to preach and it looks as if the congregation agrees with me. We may get that new roof soon. Secondly, we have to talk about Alyshia and your marriage counseling." "Uh-Oh, here it comes. I'm toast. If Deacon James found out what Alyshia and I were up to, I'm canned," thought Darren. Deacon James continued: "Alyshia's been on the telephone with the Sisters of Martha telling them what you've done for her and what a wonderful marriage counselor you are. Even I've noticed that she's a changed woman. She's cheerful and supper's been on the table every night right on time. She hasn't been on my case since Wednesday. I mean you know how women always want to analyze their relationship and talk about it. She hasn't done that since she went to see you. Alyshia's even encouraged me to stay out late playing cards Wednesday night. She's never done that before. I don't think we have any problems in our marriage any more. I appreciate what you've done for Alyshia and me. As the head of the Board of Deacons, I appreciate what you're doing for the finances of this church. Here's what I plan to do. At the next Board of Deacons meeting, I'm going to recommend that we give you a raise in pay. If any other man in this congregation is having problems in his marriage, I'll recommend sending his wife to you." Darren Brown was about to lock the church doors but Janelle rushed out of the office at the last minute. "Sorry I'm late. Don't close the door, Pastor Brown. My boyfriend is waiting for me in his car. The reason I'm late is that a lot of the Sisters of Martha asked if I could book an appointment with you. I don't know what's going on but they took up all your afternoons for the next two weeks. You're going to be a busy man, Rev. Brown."