19 comments/ 198068 views/ 18 favorites Permission For Pleasure By: LonelyMom My eyes open hesitantly - struggling to adjust to the early morning sun filtering in through the bedroom curtains. I let out a small groan as I reached across the nightstand at the side of the bed in an effort to turn the alarm clock in my direction so that I could see what time it was. I froze in mid-reach when my mind finally processed the fact that I was completely naked and in somebody else's bedroom. It came rushing back to me in a hurry why nearly every muscle in my body was protesting with my every movement. I slowly turned my head, hoping that it had all been a fevered dream. It wasn't. Lying next to me in the bed was the equally naked body of a man young enough to be one of my own children. He was still sound asleep. I thought to myself that it wasn't any wonder that he was still out like a light as the memories of our activities of last night drifted back to me. He was lying on his back with the sheet pushed down to his waist. I was afraid to move so much as a single muscle as he slept peacefully. I needed some time to think. My eyes wandered down his sculpted body. I remembered how he had told me that he had always kept his entire body shaved. The results were really quite remarkable. Did we really...? I placed both of my hands over my lower face in a subconscious attempt to hide myself. It was almost funny -- here I was staring at this incredibly gorgeous young man that most women would have killed to be with and all I could think about was how much I wished that I could be almost anyplace else in the entire world. You would think that by the age of forty-eight I had been around long enough to have a firm grasp of who I am and that I would have acquired enough common sense to keep myself out of potentially embarrassing situations. After all, I had survived twenty-five years of marriage and had raised four children before going through a rather painful divorce four years ago. Life, however, can still throw a curve ball at you when you least expect it. Friday had been a completely normal day. The work day was winding down and I was looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend just like practically every other person in America. I work as a Teacher's Assistant in a second grade classroom; mostly working with children who need extra help with their reading. If you have ever worked with children, then you know hectic and tiring a job it can be. I loved working with the kids, but I really relished my time off for the rest and the opportunity to recharge my batteries. When the bell finally sounded to end the day, I quickly busied myself with straightening out the classroom. Most days, I would take my time cleaning up because it was a nice time to visit with some of the other teachers that I had become quite friendly with since starting this job. Besides, what was the big hurry to return to a completely empty house with nobody to talk with? My baby was now nineteen years old and in her first year of college. My next youngest was also away at school while my two oldest were married and living on their own. I was as proud of all four of them as any mother could ever be. I had been blessed with three of the most gorgeous grandchildren that you could ever hope to lay eyes on. My only complaint was that I was suffering from the dreaded "empty nest syndrome". I had been raising children since the age of twenty and I was having a lot of difficulty in adjusting to having nobody at home with me anymore. I had taken this job last year in an attempt to get myself ready for the day when my youngest moved away to school. The pay was really lousy, but the hugs that I got from the children helped to make up for that somewhat. I had hoped that if I found a job, then I would have something new to fill my life when I no longer had any children of my own at home anymore. It had helped, but I didn't think that I could ever get used to eating my meals all alone every night. I had made one other change in my life since Elizabeth had left for college and that one was proving to be just as much of a struggle for me -- I had started dating. Well, to put it more properly, I had been out on exactly three dates. That may not sound like much to you, but for someone who had been out of the dating scene since Jimmy Carter was in office, this was a significant step. Not long after my divorce, I had dated one man for a few weeks. It had not been exactly a fairytale romance, I'm afraid to say. It had been a relationship based on two people using each other for their own means. We had each entered the relationship looking for nothing more than sex. He needed the sex for his own pleasure, while I was searching in vain for some kind of validation of my womanhood and desirability. I am not proud of the way that I acted during that period of my life. However, the breakup of my marriage had left me feeling so rejected inside. I was desperate for any man to show some interest I me. It was definitely a codependent relationship -- and we certainly took every advantage to try find what we thought we both needed at the time. Unfortunately, instead of finding the validation that I was searching for, I found myself feeling empty inside. I felt like such a tramp coming home very late at night filled with another man's seed deep inside me. I still had two children at home with me at the time and I came to the realization that I was not setting a very good example for either of them. I didn't date again for the next four years. The few dates that I had been on since the beginning of the school year had been largely disappointing. This time around I was interested in finding someone that I shared things in common with -- someone that I could have a true relationship with. Unfortunately, all three evenings ended up pretty much the same way. They would start out pleasant enough. The men had all been on their best behavior at the beginning of the evening. We would go to a nice restaurant for dinner and we would have a very pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, as the evening progressed, the pawing around would begin. It would usually start innocently enough -- maybe touching my hand at the table over our meal to emphasize some point he was trying to make or a hand on my back to lead me towards the door. I didn't mind that part at all. I'm a normal, healthy adult. I would be lying if I told you that it didn't feel good to know that a man could still find me attractive enough to want to touch me or that I didn't miss the intimacy of a man/woman relationship. I may have taken myself out of circulation for the past four years, but that didn't mean that I still didn't feel the same desires that any other person felt for physical contact. As the evenings progressed -- either going to a dance club or maybe back to his place -- the touching would become much more frequent. It would begin to seem to me that he was less interested in getting to know me and much more focused on seeing how far he could get in seducing his way inside my pants. I may have missed the intimacy of a relationship, but no woman wants to be fondled like a loaf of bread while on the dance floor with some man that she is just getting to know. So, as I was cleaning up the classroom on Friday, it wasn't that I was looking forward to a romantic weekend with some mysterious lover. My plans revolved more around canning some strawberry preserves -- an annual activity that I took part in with my sister and mother. And, I bet that you thought the life of a forty-eight year old Teacher's Assistant was all bright lights and glamour, huh? My plans began to unravel almost as soon as I walked in the door of my house. The phone was ringing and I hurried to answer it. I said hello and heard the voice of my sister, Janet on the other end. "Hi San," she said, "Have you heard Mom's news yet?" "No," I answered, "I just walked in the door. What's going on?" Jan replied, "She's going away for the weekend." I was stunned. Mom? Going away? "What are you talking about, Jan? Where in the world would she be going?" "There's a whole group," Jan said, "from the Senior Center. They've rented a bus and they're going down to Connecticut to a casino for the weekend." I burst out laughing. My mother hadn't left the state of Vermont during all of the years that I had been alive. And, gambling? My mother? Mom was the sort of person that thought that holding hands in public was some sort of sin! Janet surely must be putting me on. As I gained some control over my laughter, Jan explained to me that it was all entirely true. In fact, the bus was probably already half of the way there as we spoke. "Mom said the funniest thing to me on the phone when she called to tell me about the trip, " Jan said. "When I asked her why she was doing this, she said ' I'm eighty-two years old and I thought it was high time that I let myself go a little wild.'". This brought on another round of laughter from both of us, but in my heart I was happy for her. That woman had worked hard for her entire life and had never thought of herself first. She had always put my father and her children before her. I agreed with her -- It was high time that she had some fun. "Well," I said, "It looks like it's just going to be the two of us this year, then." "Actually," Jan said hesitantly, "Karissa came home from school today with some kind of stomach bug. It looks like I'm going to be tied up here all weekend myself." I told my sister not to worry about it. We could always schedule our Jelly Day some other time. I told her that I hoped that my niece would be feeling better and hung up. The silence in the house was almost deafening. What was I going to do with my weekend now? As if in answer to my unspoken question, the phone rang again. This time it was my friend Maureen. I hadn't talked with her in a couple of months and it was so good to hear her voice again. Mo and I had been friends for more than twenty years and I must say that she is one of the more interesting people that I've ever known. Everyone should have a friend like Maureen. She was wild and loud and absolutely carefree. In short, she was everything that I wasn't. People who are such opposites really have no business being friends, but I loved her like a sister. Mo could always make me laugh with her crazy sense of humor. I guess you might say that I lived vicariously through her. She would always tell me all of the latest gossip. I'm not sure how she did it, but that woman seemed to have a satellite dish when it came to receiving all of the local dirt. She could make me laugh until tears came to my eyes as she regaled me with stories of her various flirtations with the opposite sex. I knew that she was happily married and would never even consider cheating on her husband, but that never stopped her from boldly flirting with any man that came within her range. "Sandy, my love," she said, "What are you doing right now?" "Well, Mo," I replied, "At this very second I'm talking to a crazy woman on the phone. Why?" She practically shrieked, "Great! Why don't you come and stay for the weekend?" Maureen and her husband, Bob, had moved about forty minutes away last year. We didn't see nearly enough of each other anymore. I was so exhausted after a full week of work that I almost said no. However, the prospects of facing this old empty house all weekend long wasn't exactly the most enticing idea either. "Okay," I said, surprising even myself. I wasn't what you would ever call a spontaneous person. "Really?," she screamed into the phone, "Take your keys and get in your car right now." "Mo, I can't just --" I began before she cut me off. "Yes, you can. San, I know you. If you stop and think about it, you'll never come." "But, I have to pack a few things first," I protested. "Nonsense," she replied, "I have plenty of clothes here. You don't need a thing." I hesitated for a moment, then quietly said, "Okay." "I mean it, San," Maureen said, "Just get in your car and go." "Alright!", I answered while jiggling my keys near the phone and stamping my feet on the floor to simulate walking. "I'm heading out the door right now. Geez! You're such a nag!", I joked. "And you're such a child," came her response. "I love you and I'll see you soon." As soon as I hung up the phone I started having second doubts. This was just crazy -- taking off on a whim like this. I really should call a few people and let them know that I'm going out of town. What if somebody needs me in an emergency? What if one of the kids calls here and needs something? What if my mother ran into any troubles on her little trip? Then I thought about the words that my mother had said to Janet. Maybe it was high time that I let myself go a little wild, too. Without thinking about it any further, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. Maybe a weekend with Maureen and her husband was just the thing that I needed. The drive out to Maureen's house passed quickly. One of the nice things about living in Vermont is that we don't have to contend with the heavy traffic that people in big cities have to put up with. I had barely knocked on the door, when Maureen threw it wide open and screamed as she pulled me inside. We hugged each other tightly and we both spoke a mile a minute at the same time. Mo always had such enthusiasm that you couldn't help but have it rub off on you. I was so glad that I had made the decision to come. I already felt more alive than I had since Elizabeth had left for college. Bob stood quietly in the background while the two of us jabbered on like a couple of lunatics. He was quite used to how the two of us acted when we were around each other. He just shook his head and smiled at the two of us. Maureen had found a gem of a husband in Bob. He was the most easy-going person you could ever hope to meet. Mo's ever present enthusiasm could wear down most people, but Bob would always just smile and let it roll right off of his back. You could tell that he adored her just as much as she loved him. Maureen suddenly grabbed both of my hands and just looked at me. I could tell by that look in her eye that something was up. "Bob came home with the most wonderful idea," she began. I looked over at Bob for some kind of clue, but he just raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Tonight is the town's big Halloween Party!" Maureen exclaimed. New Cambridge was famous for their annual Halloween Party. I had never been to one, but I had heard plenty of stories about how lavish they were and how people from all over would flock in just to attend. "I don't know, Mo," I said, "I don't have a costume or anything." Maureen waived her hands as if to dismiss any such notion. "I have extra costumes. I'm sure we can find something for you." I looked over at Bob, hoping for some help in this matter. He just gave his customary shrug and said, "Really, Sandra...You really should go to one of these parties once in your life. You've never seen anything like them." I looked back at Maureen who was practically jumping with excitement. "Please?", she begged. I slowly smiled and gave a shrug of my own. That was all it took. Mo took me by the hand and quickly led me upstairs. I had to almost jog in order to keep up with her. This was the first time that I had been to her new house and it was indeed gorgeous. Bob may seem like a laid back person, but the truth was that he was a very skilled and successful lawyer. It was quite evident that he was doing very well financially indeed. Maureen led me to one of the doors in the upstairs hallway. "This is the room you'll be staying in," she told me, "I keep some of my clothes in the closet in here that won't fit in the master bedroom. I think that there are some old costumes in here." With her hands still buried inside the closet where I couldn't see them, Maureen turned to me with the mischievous grin of hers. "How about this?", she asked as she held up a Playboy Bunny outfit. I gave her a look like I was going to strangle her. Maybe she could get away with wearing something like that with her slim figure, but there was no way in the world that I would ever attempt it. It's not that I am fat in any way -- but I don't exactly belong to some fancy health club with personal trainers, that's for sure. Mo stuck her tongue out at me and giggled. "Okay...Be a party pooper. See if I care. "Let's see...Harem Girl? No. French Maid? Oops, it has a tear in it. Bob really liked that one! Ha! I've got it!" Maureen turned to me with a nurse's uniform. I was surprised. I didn't think that Maureen would own anything so simple. I thought that I had better grab this one before she changed her mind and talked me into something much more revealing. "Great!", she said," You'll be a naughty nurse." I didn't see anything that suggested naughtiness to the outfit. It looked like a regular nurse's uniform to me. That was until Mo lifted the front of the dress to reveal what was on the hanger beneath it. That is when I saw the sexy lingerie hanging there. I looked at Mo and said," I hope you don't think that I am going to -- " She cut me off before I could go any further. "San," she pleaded,"It's not that bad. Beside, it'll be underneath where nobody can see it." I looked at the garter belt and silky lingerie. "Mo, I've never worn anything like that before in my life. I'll feel stupid." "Please, San," she pleaded again, "The whole idea of Halloween is to not only dress differently, but to feel differently." That is when I made my fatal mistake. I hesitated a moment. Maureen quickly filled the silence with, "Besides, I called No-Backsies, so you can't go back on your word." Like I might have said earlier -- Maureen was a force of nature. When she was excited about something, there was no way of changing her mind. You had no choice but to go along with her or be steamrolled by her will. I shrugged my shoulders in defeat. Maureen thrust the outfit towards me. "Here -- You try it on and I'll go get into my costume, too. I'm going as an Indian Princess." I just shook my head when I was finally alone. I looked at the nurse's outfit on the bed and started stripping out of my clothes. Mo may have a screw or two loose in that head of hers, but maybe she was right. What would be the harm in letting myself be someone else for just one night? I picked up the silky bra and panties. The material felt so nice between my fingers -- so light and soft. I looked down at myself and realized that I was going to have to make an adjustment or two if I was going to wear anything so skimpy. Oh well, it was Halloween. I walked over to the door and called through it, "Mo? Do you think I have time to shower before we go?" "Sure, hon," came her response, "There are towels and things in the linen closet in your bathroom. Make yourself at home." I went in and started a nice hot shower. Just as she said, I found everything that I needed in the linen closet. I stepped beneath the hot spray and picked up a razor. I couldn't believe that I was really doing this. I worked as quickly as I could to trim my pubic hair back. Each time that I thought that I had removed enough of my bush, I pictured the skimpy panties in my head and went back and removed even more. Finally, I made a bold decision and shaved it all off completely. I had never done this before. I couldn't believe how different it made me look and feel. Even if it was just for one night, I have to admit that it felt nice not to feel like the same forty-eight year old grandmother. I stepped out of the shower. I knew that I had taken too long and tried my best to get ready as quickly as possible. I slipped the skimpy panties on. They made me feel unbelievably wicked as I felt the silky material against my shaven mound. It took me a few seconds to figure out how to put the garter belt on properly; then I slipped the white nylon stockings on my legs. I hooked the clasps from the belt to the top of the stockings and stood back to see how I'd done. Permission For Pleasure When I looked in the mirror, I almost decided that I couldn't go through with this. My first thought was that I looked like some kind of cheap hooker. How could I go out in public like this? However, there was another little voice in my head that was telling me that I also looked kind of sexy. It was a feeling that I hadn't experienced in quite a long time and I had to admit that it felt pretty darned good. I knew that Maureen and Bob were probably waiting impatiently downstairs to go. I made a decision. There was no going back now. I slipped on the matching bra and donned the rest of the nurse's uniform. I was surprised at how well it fit me. It was a little snug in some places, but I was pleased that I was able to get into it at all. I laughed to myself as I reached for the shoes to the outfit. I should have known better than to expect Mo to go with the sensible flat white shoes that I had seen all nurses wear at the hospital. Instead, the outfit was completed by a pair of white high heels. I slipped them on and looked into the mirror again to make some last minute adjustments. I was pleasantly surprised by the results. I walked down the stairs carefully. All I needed was to trip in these unfamiliar shoes and break my leg while falling down the stairs. Maureen and Bob were waiting for me in the living room, having a drink. Mo looked amazing in her skin tight leather Indian costume that barely came down past her hips. If all of the Indian maidens had looked like her, then explorers would have been scrambling over the top of each other in their hurry to come to the New World. Bob was dressed as the Lone Ranger. I guessed that Hurricane Mo had claimed another victim. He looked absolutely ridiculous, but I knew his sense of humor and I knew that he would have fun wearing it. They both looked in my direction as I entered the room and Bob gave me an appreciative whistle. Maureen playfully slapped him on the arm and said, "Watch it, Kimosabe -- unless you want me scalping you where you'll really regret it." We drove to the large resort where the party was being held. This place would soon be overrun with vacationing skiers, but for tonight it was the Halloween capital of Vermont. There were quite a few people already there when we arrived and they were dressed in some of the most original and outlandish costumes that I had ever seen. We made our way into the main ballroom, which had been decorated with coffins and spider webs and all of the usual Halloween accoutrements. There was a band playing at one end and a massive bar at the other. We went straight to the bar and ordered a round of drinks. The next hour or so was spent in wandering around the huge ballroom. Bob and Maureen introduced me to many of their friends. Everyone was having such a wonderful time. I have to admit to feeling somewhat self-conscious walking around in public dressed the way I was. I was keenly aware of the sexy lingerie that I had on beneath my costume. I could feel the clasps where they gripped the top of my stockings and the silky panties felt so unfamiliar against my shaven mound. I had a second drink, hoping that it would help to steady my nerves. Bob suddenly turned to us and said, "Uh-oh...Perkins, from the Office, just spotted me. Now I have to go over and say hello." Maureen stifled a laugh and told him, "You go ahead. I'm sure that two incredibly sexy women like us can find something to amuse us while you're gone." Bob pulled his pistol from his holster and looked at it. "I've got my silver bullets in place. If he tries to talk my ear off for too long, then I'll just shoot him and hustle back here." With that, he was gone. Maureen grabbed my arm and suggested that we take a walk around to see what else was going on. We left the main ballroom and followed the sound of music and a lot of commotion coming from another part of the resort. What we found made me stop in my tracks. We had come to another ballroom that was filled with a mob of mostly screaming women. On the stage was a young man dancing while dressed in a police officer uniform. I am using the term "dressed" very loosely here because he was certainly more undressed than dressed. Maureen took my hand and tried to urge me forward, but I didn't budge. "Come on, San. It'll be fun." Once again, I was swept away by Hurricane Mo. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. Grown women were screaming at the top of their lungs while the police officer gyrated with the sound of the loud music. I had never heard women shouting some of the things that they were screaming at this young man. Maureen wedged her way towards the front of the stage with me in tow. It was so crowded in there that I was getting jostled around pretty good. I few times I felt myself being groped. Each time that it happened, I would look around as fast as I could to see who was being so rude, but I never did catch the culprit. We stayed and watched the rest of the police officer's routine. Maureen screamed as loud as any other woman in the room. I have to say that the dancer was quite good at what he was doing. He moved very well and he sure had the crowd of women whipped into a frenzy. Physically, he didn't look like any man that I had ever seen on this planet. He looked as if he had been created in some secret lab somewhere. Everything about him was absolute perfection -- not too overly muscled, but the muscles that he did have were clearly defined and they certainly were all in the right places. A second dancer came onto the stage and once again the place was in bedlam. After a few minutes, Maureen turned to me and screamed to be heard over the roar of the crowd that we should be heading back to the main ballroom. Before we left, however, she pointed to what looked to be the restroom and indicated that we should go that way. To get to the woman's room, you had to walk down a narrow hallway. Right before we got there, another door opened in the hallway and out stepped a shirtless man. It was the first dancer that we had seen on the stage! He turned sideways to squeeze past us. As he did, I couldn't believe my eyes when Maureen also turned sideways and purposely rubbed herself up against him. Maureen gave a little giggle and made an exaggerated apology. The young man didn't seem to be too phased by the little "accident" in the least. He held up his right hand and said "How" just like they did in really bad old cowboy movies. Mo raised an eyebrow and said seductively, "If you have a few minutes, I'll show you exactly how." I was shocked. I grabbed hold of her and pushed her towards the woman's room. I quickly glanced at the young man embarrassedly and said, "I'm sorry." Maureen cackled like a school girl when we safely inside. "I can't believe that you just did that!", I said to her. "Oh," she replied, "it was just a little Halloween fun. That's all." We made our way back to the main ballroom and looked around for Bob. Just when we found him and were heading over to rejoin him, I spotted someone in the crowd. The sight of this person sucked all of the joy and energy out of me. It was David, my ex-husband. I hadn't seen David in almost three years. He lived in a different state now, so our paths never had to cross again. I could have almost kicked myself when I remembered that his mother's birthday was on November first, tomorrow. He must have flown back into town for the occasion. I didn't want to make any kind of scene, so I told Maureen that I was going to the bar and that I would join her and Bob in a little bit. I ducked behind a group of people and made my way over to safety without David noticing me. I took the opportunity to take a good look at him from a distance. He still looked great -- Damn him! David had been a professional baseball player and he had always taken great care of his body. Then I got a look at who was hanging on his arm. She was a stunning blonde that looked to be in her mid-twenties. I silently prayed that it was just all some elaborate costume, but I didn't see how any costume could come with fake legs that were that long and a chest that large. Up until a few minutes ago, I had been feeling sexier than I had in many years while wearing this naughty nurse outfit. Now, I felt like an aging Teacher's Assistant that should have really known better. While I stood there feeling sorry for myself, I spotted another familiar face at the entrance to the ballroom. It was the young dancer from the other room. He seemed to be scanning the ballroom as of looking for somebody. He must have found whoever it was because he started across the room purposely. I saw in an instant who it was that he had spotted. It was Maureen! I put my drink down and dashed off to try to intercept him before he reached Bob and Maureen. Mo's little flirtatious indiscretion could result in a disaster if Bob found out about it. I got very lucky -- I reached him just as he neared his destination. I grabbed his arm and veered him off in another direction. The young man tried to jerk his arm free and seemed as if he were about to say something when he must have recognized my outfit from earlier. I looked into his eyes and said quietly, "She's married...And that is her husband that she is with." A look of realization passed over his face as he let me guide him away. When I looked back at him again he had a very sheepish expression on his face. "Good Lord," I thought, "He looks like just a kid." When we were a safe distance away, I stopped and apologized for having grabbed him so roughly. He held his hands up in front of him apologetically and said that he was the one that was sorry. He glanced over at Maureen and said, "I just thought that maybe..." I cut in with, "Maureen is my friend. She can be a bit of a flirt, but I assure you that she only meant it in good fun. I'm sorry if she gave you the wrong impression." "And I assure you," he replied, "that I would never do anything to cause any trouble between a man and his wife. I thank you for keeping me from completely embarrassing myself. My name is Roger." I took his offered hand and shook it. "Sandra," I said. "Is that big guy her husband?" he asked. I glanced over quickly and said, "No, that big creep is my ex-husband. Maureen's husband is the Lone Ranger." I hadn't noticed Roger that had never released my hand. He gave it another squeeze and said, "Once again, thanks for your help, Sandra." With that, he gave a little bow and drifted off into the crowd. My heart was still beating a mile a minute. I looked over in Maureen's direction. I don't think that she even knew how close to disaster she had just come. I saw that David was still talking with them and I decided that I would go back over to the bar until the coast was clear. I was only at the bar for a couple of minutes when I heard David's voice behind me. "Hello, San, It's good to see you again," he said. I spun around and tried to act as if I hadn't expected to see him here at the party. "Hi, David. What a surprise to see you here." There was a very uncomfortable moment when neither of us knew what to say. It was funny to think that we had once been so in love that we never would have dreamed that we wouldn't have a single thing that we wanted to say to each other. Finally, David seemed to come to his senses and said, "This is Jessica," as he indicated his much younger partner, "Jesse, this is Sandra, my ex-wife." There is just nothing in life that ever prepares you for the moment when you are forced to shake hands with some youngster that is sleeping with your ex-husband. I dearly wished that the earth would just open up and swallow me whole. Instead, something just as unlikely occurred. I heard a man's voice saying, "Sandra! There you are! I'm sorry that I was away so long." It was Roger. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and slipped his left arm around me quite familiarly. "I ran into Patrick and you know how he gets when he's telling stories," he continued. I tried to hide my shock at this totally unexpected development. Roger looked up as if he was just noticing that I had been talking to someone before he arrived. He extended his right hand and said, "Hi, I'm Roger." David had a very surprised expression on his face as he stuck his hand out as well. "Hi, I'm David Palmer." He had that same smug look on his face that I always hated. It was a look as if to say that he expected everyone to know who he was just because he had played major league baseball for a couple of years. Roger acted as if he didn't recognize the name and said, "Nice to meet you, Dave." He turned back to me, dismissing David, and said, "I hope you're not mad at me for leaving you alone for so long. Can we still have that dance?" My mind was spinning. Somehow, I managed to nod my head and we were off towards the dance floor in an instant with Roger's arm around me. When we had gotten to the edge of the area where people were dancing, I turned to Roger and said, "You are one very strange young man." He chuckled at this and replied, "You're not the first one to ever say that to me." His smile was another thing that could only have been created in that secret laboratory. His entire face lit up with his smile and he had the cutest crinkle at the corners of his eyes. I almost had to shake my head to break the spell that he was casting over me. "Well, thank you for saving me back there," I said. Roger leaned down and whispered conspiratorially, "Let's just say that we are even." I said thank you once again and turned to leave. However, Roger still had a hold of my hand. He spun me back towards him and said, "Where are you going? What about our dance?" I felt myself blushing and laughed self-consciously, "I don't remember promising to dance with you." Then I added, "I'm not a very good dancer anyways." Roger just smiled as he looked straight into my eyes. "That's okay. I happen to be a very good dancer." Before I knew it, he was leading me by the hand onto the dance floor. "Besides," he said, "think how jealous Mr. Baseball Player will be when he sees you out here enjoying yourself." Roger slipped his arm around me and we started swaying to the music. I leaned back and looked into his face. "You're quite an actor, too. You seem to be a man of many talents." I was rewarded once again with that beautiful smile. One thing was for sure -- He sure wasn't lying when he said that he was an excellent dancer. He easily led me around the dance floor. When I complimented him on his dancing, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Eight years of dancing lessons at Miss Longwell's School of Dance." I couldn't help but laugh. "My niece goes to Miss Longwell's. Somehow, I don't think you learned any of the steps that I saw in the other room at her school." This time it was Roger's turn to chuckle. "Yes, I guess you could call me Miss Longwell's Bad Boy." We danced a while more in silence until he went on to add, "Actually, Suzanne is wonderful woman. She has always supported me in my dancing. She taught me so many things." I thought about that last statement. Rumors had floated around these parts for years about Suzanne Longwell and her rather loose lifestyle. If it weren't for the fact that she was a former Broadway dancer, I doubt that anyone would entrust their children to her at all. It made me wonder what those many things were that she taught him. The music finally ended. Even though a part of me wanted to go on dancing, I stepped back and thanked Roger for the dance. I may be dressed as a naughty nurse for the night, but the bottom line was that I was really just a forty-eight year old grandmother. The clock was striking midnight and it was time for the coach to turn back into a pumpkin and it was time for me to exit as gracefully as I could. However, Roger held onto both of my hands to prevent me from leaving. "Where are you going?" he asked. I smiled nervously back at him. "Listen, Roger," I said, "You are really a very charming young man, but I think it's time for this old lady to go back with the other adults for the night." Roger didn't say anything for a moment. Then, he tugged me towards him while lifting one of my arms into the air -- making me spin around so that my back came to rest against his chest. He held my arms crossed in front of me as he leaned down to whisper in my ear, "First, tell me what you see, Sandra?" I looked about puzzled at all of the partygoers in their outrageous costumes. The music had started once again and couples were dancing and carrying on all around us. I wasn't quite sure what to say. "I see a bunch of very drunk people that are really going to regret it in the morning," I joked. Roger's lips were near my ear. He whispered once again, "No, look again. Really look this time." I looked again. This time I thought that he deserved something more than a flip answer. "I see people dancing and having a wonderful time. It is a holiday after all." Roger released his grip on my hands and slipped his hands down to hold me in place by the hips. His lips were still close by my ear. "No, Sandra. What you see are people who are allowing themselves to have a good time." This was the third time today that I had heard this same sentiment. First my mother had said it about going on her trip to the casino. Next, Maureen had said something similar when I had protested wearing this very outfit. Now, I was hearing the same thing from this stranger who was young enough to be one of my own children. Roger whispered again, "It's okay to give yourself permission to have fun, Sandra. All of this is not just some kind of rehearsal. This is real life. You do deserve to enjoy life." I turned around to face Roger. I took a good look into his face -- as if I were really seeing it for the first time. "How did you get to be so smart?" I asked, "What are you? Like fourteen or something?" He chuckled and gave me that killer smile again. "I'm twenty-four years old," he said, "And I'm not smart at all. I've just been blessed with knowing some very wise people who have taught me patiently." Roger's hands were still on my hips and without even realizing it, I began to sway with the music. My arms went instinctively up around his neck as we began to dance once again. I felt his hands leave my hips and his arms wrap around me. This is the moment when Normal Sandra would have excused herself and put an end to things. Tonight, though, I decided it was alright to give myself permission to enjoy the feeling of a man's arms around me. Maybe this young man was right -- maybe I did deserve to enjoy myself once in a while. This dance was much different than our first had been. With our arms now wrapped around each other, our bodies were pressed together much tighter. I half-way expected the "Roaming Hands" to start at any second, but Roger was a perfect gentleman. There was no groping or mauling on his part at all. I liked that a lot. Feeling a bit more comfortable, I laid my head against his chest. He was much taller than me, so I had to reach up pretty far to get my arms around his neck. This meant that my too short nurse's dress was pulling up in the back. I wondered if the tops of my silk stockings were showing, but I quickly put the thought out of my mind. Tonight I was a naughty nurse and a naughty nurse certainly wouldn't care if she was putting on a show for everyone else. I closed my eyes and let Roger lead me around the dance floor. It felt wonderful to let go of my worries and just let a man take control like that. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment of being held close. I tried not to think about the fact that the man holding me had been on stage earlier in the evening, stripping off all of his clothes in front of hundreds of screaming women. Permission For Pleasure The soft music and lighting must have started to affect me. Without really thinking about it, my arms began to slowly tighten around Roger's neck. He didn't react at first. Maybe he was waiting to see if I would continue this or not. I really liked the fact that he was letting me decide how comfortable I was with the way things were going before trying to press the issue any further with me. I gave myself permission to go a little bit further. This time I pressed myself against him a little bit harder. I wasn't rubbing myself up against him like some desperate old woman in heat, but I enjoyed the feeling of his chest pressed more firmly against my breasts while we danced. After a few moments, I could feel Roger's hands hold me more firmly and begin to move ever so slightly on my back. He didn't get as gross as some men have with me and reach immediately for my bottom or press his hips against mine. It was more of a gentle caress and I have to say that it did feel very nice. I could hear Roger saying something over the top of my head, but I couldn't make it out over the sound of the music and the other dancers. I leaned my head back and looked up into his face so that he could repeat it for me. I was surprised at how much I missed the warmth of his chest against my cheek in that instant. "I can't remember the last time that I had such a fun evening," He repeated. I was acutely aware of the possibility that this was just a well practiced line that he may have used hundreds of times on hundreds of other women. Some parts of my self esteem would probably never recover from the divorce and I couldn't quite believe that this man who was half my age was being totally sincere. Yet, as I looked into his face for some clue that he was being less than honest, I couldn't find any trace of deceit. I was very touched that he would say such a sweet thing to me. The truth was the first thing that popped out of my mouth... "It's been years and years since I've enjoyed myself more," I confessed. We each looked into one another's eyes for a long moment. I distinctly saw his face begin to lean down towards mine. Surprisingly, I found myself tilting my face up towards his at the same time and raising up slightly on my toes. Alas, the music ended at that very moment. People were applauding for the musicians all around us. I sank back down off of my toes and we removed our arms from around each other. We clapped right along with everyone else. I didn't need a mirror to be able to tell that my face must have been flushed several shades of red more than usual. My heart was beating hard in my chest and I could feel myself breathing harder than normal. I wasn't sure about what had almost happened, but the moment had passed and our opportunity slipped away. The band struck up another number and Roger looked at me questioningly. It was very tempting to accept another dance with this charming young man, but I thought that I had better take things a little more slowly -- give my head a chance to clear some. I looked at Roger apologetically and said, "Maybe I had better sit this one out. My feet are starting to really kill me." To my surprise, Roger followed me off of the dance floor. I had expected him to use this opportunity to bow out gracefully. I wouldn't have blamed him for wanting to go and mingle with any friends that might be here or at least to seek the company of people more his own age. However, he placed his hand gently on my back and guided me towards some empty chairs that were lined up along the wall. I smiled to myself, but tried my best to not give it away on the outside. When we arrived at the unoccupied seats, Roger pulled one chair out from the wall to face one of the others. He indicated with his hand for me to take a seat in the chair that he had pulled out, while he took a seat in the chair opposite. When we were both seated, Roger gestured with his hands for me to lift my foot up to him. I wasn't quite sure what this young man had in mind, but I hadn't been kidding about my feet hurting. I slipped my foot from the unfamiliar high heel and offered it to him. He took my foot in his gentle hands and began to massage it. Oh my Lord, did that feel good! I had never had a man offer to do this for me before and I thought to myself that I could really learn to like this a whole lot. Without even realizing it, a soft moan escaped my lips. Once again, Roger was a complete gentleman. There was nothing overtly sexual in what he was doing -- there was no hand "accidentally" sliding further up my leg or placing my foot against his lower body. He simply used his fingers to ease the pain from my tired foot. After a few minutes, he gestured for me to lift my other foot. I willingly obeyed and I tried to stifle another moan as his fingers began to work their magic once again. I was really enjoying this unexpected pleasure when I heard Roger say softly, "Don't look around, but your ex hasn't been able to keep his eyes off of the two of us for the past ten minutes." This statement shocked me back to reality. With my back turned to the rest of the ballroom, I had somehow been able to forget all about the crowd of people who were still enjoying the party. Roger looked at me and asked, "Does it make you uncomfortable to have me do this to you in front of your ex-husband?" I was surprised that he had thought to ask me that question. He could have just as easily not mentioned the fact that David was watching and I never would have known the better. I was touched that he cared so much for my feelings. "No," I replied, "He can live his life and I'll lead mine." I didn't bother to add that David could just eat his heart out for all I cared. I would be lying if I didn't admit that it felt nice that maybe I was making him a little bit jealous, but the truth was that this wasn't entirely just about him. I was enjoying spending time with a handsome young man who seemed to enjoy my company. This was a pleasure that I hadn't experienced with any man, young or old, in a very long time. Roger said something else softly that I couldn't quite catch. He shifted his chair slightly closer to mine and repeated, "I'm happy that you feel that way. I wouldn't want to cause you any discomfort and I certainly want to spend more time with you." I smiled at Roger again. I began to wonder if maybe he had the ability to look right into my mind and soul. God knows that I had denied myself the pleasure of a man's company for far too long. Because he had scooted his chair closer to mine, it had caused me to have to bend my knee a little bit as he massaged my foot. With my knee bent, the hem of my nurse's outfit had risen slightly up my thigh. I could have pulled it back down easily enough. However, maybe this Naughty Nurse outfit was beginning to have an affect on me. I pretended not to notice that the top of my nylon stockings were now just barely visible to Roger's eyes. Throwing caution to the wind, I twisted my neck around to look out over the ballroom. I scanned the crowd for any sign of Maureen or Bob. In this position I knew that my dress was being hiked up even further, but I made no move to prevent it at all. I couldn't see either of them anywhere and I turned back towards Roger. He must not have been expecting me to turn back to him so suddenly. He tried to hide it, but I caught him stealing a glance up my leg. Rather than be shocked that he had been taking such liberties, I felt kind of nice that he had been interested enough to have looked at all. I didn't say anything to him about it. I only told him that I was looking for my friend that he had seen me with earlier. Roger nodded his understanding. I saw that he was the one blushing this time and I thought it looked really cute on him. I twisted back around to look for Mo once again. At least, that was the reason I gave myself. Once again, I could feel the hem of my outfit shift slightly higher. Part of my mind was occupied with looking for Maureen, but a larger portion was occupied with wondering if Roger was looking up my dress as he had earlier. I remembered how skimpy the silk panties were that I was wearing. If Roger was looking, then I knew that the almost transparent material would be doing little to protect my modesty. I took my time to search the crowd thoroughly. The whole time, I could feel my heart beating harder and harder. I finally turned back around slowly to face Roger once again. I noted that his face was even redder than the last time and I felt pleased inside. I leaned forward slightly and said, "I have to go to the woman's room." Roger stood and helped me up by the hand. He continued to hold my hand while I struggled to slip my feet back inside my shoes. When I had them on at last, I looked up into his young face. We were now standing very close together. I could feel that moment approaching again like the one we had experienced on the dance floor. We were looking into each others eyes and for that moment, all of the noise and commotion around us faded into the background. He leaned down, as if in slow motion. I had plenty of time to have put a stop to what was about to happen. Instead, I tilted my face up towards his. Our eyes never left one another's as his lips descended to mine. The first touch of his lips against mine felt electric. I felt a shiver run through my body and my arms went instinctively up around his neck. The muted noise that had been filtering in through my consciousness faded away completely. I had the fleeting thought that we were the only two people in all of creation as I felt his strong arms wrap around my back. I felt the silky tip of Roger's tongue brush against my lips and I eagerly opened my mouth to accept his intimate invasion. I couldn't help but moan against his hungry lips as our tongues twined and slid against each others greedily. Roger's arms tightened around me and I relished the feel of his young body crushed against my breasts. This time I could easily feel his erection as it pushed against me through the material of our clothing. I made no move to pull away from it. If anything, I tried to return the pressure as subtly as I could. I'm not sure how long that kiss lasted. It may have only been seconds or it may have been years. I had lost all track of time. When at last we did break apart, we were each breathing hard and the desire that I saw on Roger's young face seemed to almost match the inferno that was raging inside of me. I couldn't quite believe what had just happened between us and I couldn't remember the last time that I had felt this way inside. Slowly, our lips moved back together again. This time I couldn't suppress a soft cry as we kissed again. Every nerve in my body seemed to be more alive than ever as I easily melted in Roger's arms. I felt the welcomed pressure of his body once again pressing against my breasts and the evidence of his desire was now even more pronounced than it was only moments before. With this second kiss, there was no tentative probing as there had been with our first. Our hunger had already been stoked to a very high level. Our tongues immediately sought out each other's. Our hands gripped with even more urgency as we strained to press closer to one another. I wasn't even aware that I was moaning non-stop against Roger's insistent lips. After what seemed like another eternity, we broke apart once more. I felt as if I was almost out of breath and my lips felt swollen and bruised. I gazed into Roger's clouded eyes and I could easily see the naked lust in them. When was the last time that I had seen a similar look in any man's eyes? Practically panting, Roger breathed, "Sandra, I would really love to take you home with me." Every fiber of my being screamed to tell him yes -- that I wanted him to make love to me all night long. However, there were still one or two brain cells in my head that were insisting that this wasn't any way for me to be acting with someone so much younger than me and to whom I had been a complete stranger until this evening. Instead, what came out of my mouth would never have been found in any romance novel. "I have to pee," I said. Roger's expression was one of confusion. It was as if I had spoken some alien language that he couldn't comprehend. Then, he broke into that beautiful smile of his. It was all I could do to keep myself from clutching him to me again right on the spot., but I felt his arms loosen from around me and he said, "I'll be waiting right here." I stepped back slowly on unsteady legs. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to leave the comfort of his embrace. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from his -- almost like I was in some sort of hypnotic state. If he hadn't used his hands to physically turn me towards the woman's room, I may have remained in that spot like a statue forever. I headed towards the restroom with my mind in a whirl. I had to use all of my concentration just to make my legs work. It was as if I were learning to walk all over again. This time my difficulties had nothing to do with unfamiliar shoes or sore feet. The problem had more to do with the fact that all of my blood had been drained from my extremities -- and seemed to be pooled in my erogenous zones. As I neared the door to the woman's room. I felt someone grab my arm and fall in step beside me. It was Maureen. She looked back over her shoulder in the direction that I had just come from. "Sandy," she gasped, "Is that...? "It is," I replied," His name is Roger, by the way." I tried to maintain my composure even though I was practically bursting inside. Maureen looked flustered. I don't think I had ever seen her speechless before and it almost made me laugh. "I saw you getting really cozy with someone, but I couldn't see who it was," Maureen said. She waited for me outside the bathroom door while I tried my best to regain at least a little bit of my composure. When I at last emerged, Mo grabbed me by the arms and begged, "Well...?" "Well," I began," he is really a very charming young man. "Charming! Is that all you're going to say? That he's charming? I saw the two of you. You were both all over each other," Maureen persisted. I must have blushed a hundred shades of red. Part of me wanted to shout and scream with joy, but another part of me was stuck on the notion that this just couldn't be -- that he was way too young for me and that I would be making a fool of myself for holding onto such silly notions. "He asked me to go home with him," I said quietly. If I had thought that Maureen was speechless before, it was nothing compared to what she was now. After a moment, her excitement burst through. "I can't believe it!" she almost screamed," This is such wonderful news!" I looked at her evenly. "Mo, you know that I can't do this," I said. Mo's eyes went wide in puzzlement. "Why can't you?" she asked. "Because, Mo," I began, "I hardly know him at all. And, besides, I'm old enough to be his mother, in case you hadn't noticed." Maureen just stood and stared at me. I saw so many emotions race across her face in that instant. I saw love and frustration and concern and impatience in her look. Finally, she said in a very serious voice," Sandra, you know that I love you like a sister. I've known you longer than anybody else on this planet. Why can't you see what a beautiful and sexy woman you are? Why can't you, for just once, let yourself go? Why can't you give yourself permission to enjoy what life has to offer?" Now, it was my turn to stand there speechless. This was the fourth time that I had heard the same speech in one evening. Were some of the things that Mo had said true? Did the outside world find me in some small way to be an attractive woman? Could I find it within myself to do as she suggested? These thoughts whirled through my head at blinding speed. Maureen kept looking at me expectantly as I felt my heart beating so hard in my chest. Finally, I found myself nodding my head. Maybe it was time that I gave myself this mythical permission that everyone kept talking about. Maybe it was time that I let myself live. Maureen's eyes went wide in a mixture of disbelief and joy. She leaned forward and kissed me. "You know that I love you, don't you?" she asked as she dug in her purse for something. "Here is a key to my house, in case you need it. You know my address and my phone number if you should need me." I was all of a sudden so overwhelmed. I simply reached out and hugged my friend to me. How could anyone ever ask for a better friend in the whole world? We took one last long look at each other. Maureen looked into my eyes and said softly, "Have fun, San." With that, I headed back to where Roger was still patiently waiting for me. That walk across the ballroom floor seemed to stretch on for miles and miles. The whole way there, I was almost certain that I would come to my senses and call the entire thing off. However, when I saw Roger's magnificent smile once more, I knew all was lost. "I missed you," he said as he leaned down to kiss me. Roger was looking at me with an unspoken question. I don't think that he wanted to come out and ask me again about his earlier offer. Perhaps, he didn't want me to feel pressured. I was unbelievably touched at the concern that he was showing for my feelings. As I looked into his eyes, I said softly, "Roger? Take me home." His face lit up like a little boy's at Christmas. He slipped his arm around me and turned me towards the door. I know that it was only just my imagination, but I felt as if every eye in the room was watching this older woman being escorted out of the door by the most desirable young man there could ever be. We arrived at his townhouse in what seemed like no time at all. Roger asked me all kinds of questions about my job and my family during the drive. I was grateful that he kept the conversation going during the trip because I was having second thoughts the whole way. If we had driven in silence, I'm sure that I would have thought of at least a dozen reasons to call this off completely. However, before I knew it, we were walking hand in hand to his front door. I didn't know exactly what to expect when we stepped inside. Would he make the first move or would he wait for me to set the pace? Would he be tender or would the hunger from earlier return in full force? The uncertainty made the moment all the more delicious. It had been quite a few years since I had felt these emotions. Roger turned on the lights and I was surprised at how tasteful and neat his home was. I had thought that someone who did what he did for a living would decorate his place in a very flashy fashion. This young man was just full of surprises, wasn't he? He helped me out of my coat and asked if I would like something to drink. I declined, saying that I really wasn't much of a drinker. Instead, Roger put on some soft music and held his arms open to me in invitation. I smiled as I stepped into his embrace. We swayed slowly to the music as I let myself get used to the feel of his arms around me once again. Feeling the warmth of his body against mine did a lot to help settle my nerves. Again, he did not immediately start groping at me as my other recent dates had done. We danced comfortably to the beautiful music. There was no rush -- no need to hurry anything along at all. At long last, I felt Roger kiss me lightly on top of the head. By this time, every nerve fiber in my being had come back fully to life. I remembered how wonderful his kiss had felt earlier at the party and I found that I wanted very badly to feel it again. I looked up into his face with an expression that I hoped he would take to be an invitation. Roger did not disappoint me. He leaned down and our lips came together for a passionate kiss. I clung to his young frame and felt the fires within me being fanned to an even higher level. Roger's arms tightened around me as I pressed myself hard against him. The hunger had returned with full force. I could feel his hardness pressing into me as I moaned against his lips.