14 comments/ 55764 views/ 20 favorites Love in the Twilight By: Seanathon I was driving to work when the first chords came drifting out of the car radio like a lullaby. And then Cass Elliot's haunting voice followed, singing the words I knew so well. Stars shining bright above you Night breezes seem to whisper, I love you Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me My wife never knew why the song made me cry every time I heard it, but my daughter did. And, as I listened to the beautiful melody, I thought of those long gone, like Walter, Mabel and, of course, Caroline. Even though it was over twelve years ago, I still remember exactly where I was the first time I heard her voice. I was a twenty-year-old orderly at the Shadywood Care Home and I was leaning against the nursing station as I watched Walter try to make his daily escape. Sara leaned over the nursing station counter and looked toward the front entrance. "I think you better grab Mr. Williams, Jason, he's almost there." Walter Williams, who was in his late eighties, clutched the handrail to support himself as he shuffled slowly toward the front door of the care home. It usually took him the better part of half an hour to make his way from the far end of the hall to the main entrance, and now he was less than ten feet from freedom. "Time to take him back to the starting line," I said, and headed down the hallway with his wheelchair. As Walter heard me coming, he looked back over his shoulder and waved me away with his free hand. "No...leave me alone," he grumbled. "You can't keep me trapped in here!" "Come on, Mr. Williams," I said, as I gently removed his hand from the handrail. "Time to get back in your wheelchair." Walter had always been a big man. He had worked for the railway for decades and, by the time he'd retired twenty years earlier, was one of the most respected men in the company. But most of the people Walter had worked with were long gone, and he was a shadow of the man he'd once been. In his youth, he would have thrown me across the hall if I'd touched him. Now, he didn't even have the strength to push my arm away. He pleaded with me and cursed at me as I gently but forcibly put him in his wheelchair and took him back to the end of the hall. After I'd locked the wheels and walked away, he lifted himself unsteadily to his feet, grabbed the handrail, and began his long half hour journey anew. "I feel so sad for Walter," said Sara. "No one ever comes to visit him. Every day, he tries to leave, only to have us bring him back again." "I don't blame him," I said. "I wish I could escape this place too." "Shadywood isn't that bad. You haven't worked anywhere else, but some of the homes I've worked at...you wouldn't believe the smell. I like how it's clean here, and the residents are treated well." "Maybe, but the pay sucks. I'm not even sure if its minimum wage. And Janet makes me work my ass off." "I don't know about that," Sara teased, as she played with her necklace. "It still looks pretty good to me. But I know how you feel; I had to take a second job just to make ends meet. I'm working downtown Saturday night...maybe after I get off we can get together and do something?" Before I could answer, she hurriedly continued. "It won't be a date or anything. I know every time I ask, you tell me you don't date people you work with. But I thought maybe we could go out sometime, you know, as friends?" I was racking my brain for an excuse to say no, when Angie wandered up to the nursing station. Angie, the head nurse, was a middle-aged Filipino woman with a heart of gold -- except for when it came to teasing Sara. "What are you two lovebirds whispering about?" Sara turned red with embarrassment. "Angie! Jason and I aren't -- " "I know, I am just kidding you Sara!" she said. "I need help moving the residents to bingo. I thought Michael was in today?" "Janet had to lay him off," said Sara. "Not another one," said Angie. "We are so short staffed as it is. If Janet wants to save money so badly, why doesn't she turn down this heat? It makes my poor skin so dry." Angie took a jar of Vaseline out of her pocket and rubbed some on her cracked lips. "Bring your boyfriend, he can help us with the residents." Sara blushed as I smiled and followed her to the elevator. She'd been working at Shadywood as a nursing aide for six months, and had a hopeless crush on me. Though cute and curvy with strawberry blonde hair, she was a year younger than me and still had some growing up to do. And she was right; I'd learned the hard way to never date anyone you worked with. As we reached the elevator, more than a dozen residents milled aimlessly around it, some no longer remembering why they'd come downstairs in the first place. I took one resident by his arm while Sara pushed another's wheelchair and we went to the activity room. As we neared it, we could hear someone singing in an unbelievably beautiful voice. I turned to Sara, who was already watching me. "I thought it was bingo today? Did Janet restart the concert program?" "No, as far as I know it's still cancelled." We entered the room and saw her, moving through the residents as she sang, capturing them in her spell. She sang so beautifully, so confidently, that I thought she was a professional that had been hired to sing at the home. But she was dressed in a housecoat like every other resident. I'd never seen them so quiet, they were completely fascinated as she moved amongst them singing, and touching each and every one of them with her voice. Some of the residents closed their eyes and swayed to the sound, lost in the memories the song rekindled from the embers of the past. I could see the joy on her face as she sang, and as she looked across the room and saw that I was also caught in her spell she smiled radiantly at me. "Who is that?" I asked Sara. "That's Mrs. Andrews, she's a new resident here." "A resident? But she's too young. She's like...twenty years younger than anyone else." "I know -- I think she's only sixty." I went to get more of the residents from the elevator, but as I returned the singing stopped and there was a smattering of applause. I looked through the door and saw Janet talking to Mrs. Andrews. Janet was the administrator at Shadywood and, ironically, was probably the same age as Mrs. Andrews. She was a stickler for schedules and always hurried around the home with one eye on her watch. The recent budget cuts had put a lot of pressure on her, and she was struggling to maintain a semblance of order at the home. Janet sat Mrs. Andrews down, gave her a bingo card, and signaled to the caller to start the game. Mrs. Andrews smiled back at me, shrugged her shoulders, and waited for the first number. I didn't see her again until later that night, as I was taking the residents back upstairs after dinner. Mabel was missing, and Angie asked if I could help find her. Mabel Gardner was a lovely woman, eighty-five years young, who always had a smile on her face. She wandered the halls of Shadywood endlessly, as she thought she was an employee there, not a resident. And if you asked her how she'd got to work that day she could tell you the bus number, which seat she'd sat in and, sometimes, the bus driver's name. I had no way of knowing if her information was accurate, as she was remembering a bus trip she'd taken sixty years earlier. Mabel also had an amazing memory for minute details from when she was a child, including the name of the horse that she'd loved to ride around the farm she'd grown up on. But she couldn't remember the names of her family, or that they'd even existed. First she'd forgotten her grandchildren, and then her children, and now she no longer remembered her husband. Her memory had been torn away like pages from the back of a book, with only the beginning left. She spent her days wandering aimlessly from room to room; unsure why she was here, but knowing this wasn't her home. I went down the hallway looking into each door as residents, alone in their rooms, looked expectantly at me. Finally, I looked into a room and spotted Mabel, picking up items on a dresser and looking at each one. I walked in and she was looking at a framed photo of a young woman in a yellow bikini. She showed me the photo. "Is this me?" "No, Mabel," I said, as I put the photo back on the dresser. "This isn't your room." To my left, Mrs. Andrews was sitting on her bed. "Sorry about Mabel," I said, "she has dementia." "I know," Mrs. Andrews said. "That's why I'm watching her. I want to know what it's like..." Mabel had picked up another photo and I took it away from her and put it back on the dresser. "She'll take your stuff to her room and then tomorrow, when she wakes up, she'll wonder who left it there and throw it in the garbage." Angie came into the room and took her arm. "Come on Mabel, I will take you back to your own room," she said, and led the frail old lady down the hallway. "Sorry again, Mrs. Andrews," I said. "Please, call me Caroline." "Okay, my name's Jason. I heard you singing downstairs, you were amazing." She smiled at me and brushed a lock of her short, silvery-blonde hair behind her ear. "Thank you, Jason." "Were you, like, a professional singer or something?" "No, I've just always loved to sing. And now, when I seem to be...forgetting so many things. It's comforting to know I can still remember the words to my favorite songs." "You were great," I said. "The residents really enjoyed it." "Well, I don't think the woman who asked me to stop singing liked it very much." "That was our administrator, Janet...she's kind of OCD about her schedules. If she's got bingo planned to start at two, it better start at two." Caroline looked around her tiny room, as if realizing for the first time how small it was. "Oh...is that all they do here, bingo?" "We used to have people come in and do music, singing, line dancing, crafts...that sort of stuff. But Janet stopped it all. I think there's been some budget cuts, and I guess she felt we couldn't afford it." "So...when there's no bingo, what do they do for fun?" I shrugged. "Maybe watch an old movie?" Caroline sighed and smiled at me. "Thanks for your help with Mabel, I'd better get some rest. I hope we can talk again some time, Jason." "I'd love to." * * * About a week later, I was doing my rounds on the second floor when Pearl called me into her room. Pearl, who was a charming seventy-eight-year-old, had loved to dance. She'd even tried to teach me to foxtrot once. But she'd been ill for some time and was completely bedridden now. After she told me her TV remote was missing, I went to Mabel's room to look for it. Mabel was sleeping peacefully in her bed and the controller was in her wastebasket beneath a rumpled housecoat. After giving Pearl her channel changer back, I checked the housecoat and saw the name Caroline Andrews sewn into the collar. Hoping she wasn't sleeping, I knocked lightly on her door. When she opened it, I saw that Caroline was only wearing a thin cotton nightgown. Her short, silvery-blonde hair was messy, as if she'd been sleeping, and she quickly ran her fingers through it when she saw me standing in her doorway. "Sorry if I woke you, but I found your housecoat in Mabel's room." "Thank you, Jason, but I wasn't sleeping, I was just lying in the dark. Can you come in and talk for a minute or two?" I looked down the hall to make sure Janet wasn't around. "Sure, I can talk for a minute." I looked around her tiny room and realized there wasn't even enough room for a chair; the only place to sit was on the bed. As I watched her hang her housecoat on the bathroom door, I found it hard to comprehend how Caroline could be a resident at Shadywood. She was so much younger than the rest of them. She walked over and sat down beside me on the bed, and I quickly stood up. Caroline laughed. "Jason, I'm not going to attack you." "No," I stammered, "it's just...it's just that...is this your family?" I picked up a framed photo from the dresser and she came over and stood beside me. Leaning close, she pointed out the members of her family. "That's my late husband, Bill...my son, Will...my daughter, Julie...my grandson, Michael..." She stopped, her finger resting on a young girl, no older than three, in the photo. I looked at Caroline and realized she was crying. "This girl," she said, "I...I can't remember her name...but I think she's my granddaughter." I placed the photo back on the dresser as she dried her eyes with a tissue and sat on the bed. "If I can't remember their names; how long until I don't even remember them? I'm sorry for crying...but that's the reason I admitted myself here." I sat beside her on the bed and handed her another tissue. "You admitted yourself here? It wasn't your family that put you in here?" "No, I admitted myself...I've got Alzheimer's disease, Jason, and its been coming on fast...too fast. I know it's only going to get worse, and I don't want to be a burden on my kids." "But...you're too young to have Alzheimer's. Mabel has it, and she's twenty years older than you." "You're sweet," she said, and squeezed my leg. "I have what they call early-onset Alzheimer's, and I'm not that young, I'm sixty. And you're how old, Jason? Nineteen?" She started to stroke my leg and I jumped up. "Tw -- twenty," I stammered. "I, uh, I better get back to work now." Caroline stood up and grabbed my hand. "One second, Jason, I wanted to know if you could do me a favor." I was surprised at how warm her hands were, as the other residents' hands were always so cold. "What kind of favor?" "I see all those poor people downstairs every day, sitting there looking so sad, so lonely. Their families never come to visit them. "I was wondering if you could ask Janet if I could sing for them. It will only be a few songs, and I won't even charge," she said, and smiled warmly at me. I told her I would, and I was just closing Caroline's door when Janet walked out of Pearl's room. She eyed me suspiciously. "Why were you in that resident's room?" "Oh, I was just talking to Caroline -- I mean -- Mrs. Andrews, she wanted to know if she could sing for the residents tomorrow." "I don't know Jason...with all of these budget cuts -- " "But she'll sing for free," I said, interrupting her. "Let me finish. What I was going to say...was that with all of these budget cuts, we don't have the staff to properly supervise that kind of activity." "Sara and I can do it. We're up front anyways, so it'll be no problem." "I don't know...I want this to be a home for everyone here, and I wish they could get up when they want to, eat when they want to. But we just don't have the resources -- that's why I have to make sure everyone sticks to my schedules. I know people aren't happy that I cancelled most of the activities, but the residents' care has to be my priority." "Can't you just let her sing once, and see how it goes?" Janet nodded reluctantly. "Okay, but don't make me regret this." * * * The next afternoon, Sara and I were watching Walter attempt his daily escape when Caroline began to sing. Sara smiled at me. "Do you want to dance?" "Yes," I said, and waltzed past her and grabbed Mabel and danced her toward the activity room. Sara took the arm of another resident, and all of the other lonely souls, who spent their days downstairs waiting in vain for long-gone friends, shuffled after them toward the sweet sound. When she saw me leading Mabel through the doorway, Caroline's eyes lit up and she blew me a kiss to thank me for getting her permission to sing. But the joy in the residents' eyes as her voice took them back in time was the only thanks I needed. They all applauded politely when Caroline finished her first song, and nodded in agreement as they told each other what a wonderful voice she had. "This next song," said Caroline, "is for Jason." I felt embarrassed as nearly every head in the room turned to look or smile at me, I had thought most of them didn't even know my name. I looked over at Sara and she laughed when she saw how red my face was. Caroline sang Dream a Little Dream of Me, and she was just starting the second verse when we heard a cry from the hallway. Sara and I raced out of the room -- we'd forgotten about Walter! He'd reached the front entrance and Janet was running out of her office toward him. He took his hand off the handrail to reach for the doors and, as they automatically slid open, he tumbled forward and hit the floor hard. Janet was trying to help him as he moaned at her to leave him alone. As I kneeled beside Walter and checked to see if he was injured, Janet tore into me. "You see? You see what happens when we go off schedule? I told you we didn't have the staff to properly supervise, and now Mr. Williams is hurt!" "He's fine," I said, and carefully lifted him off the floor and into the wheelchair Sara had run over with. Janet was livid. "What if he'd got out the door, Jason? What if he'd walked onto the street outside? I'm sorry, but -- until we get more staff -- there will be no more concerts." As I turned to take Walter, who was sore but unhurt, back to his room, I saw a crowd of residents watching from the doorway of the activity room. Caroline was at the front of the crowd and, as our eyes met, she mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' to me. After dinner, as Angie and I were making sure all of the residents were back in their rooms, I knocked on Caroline's door. I wanted to apologize for ruining the show, but no one answered. I opened the door and called, "hello?" as I walked into the room. The bedside lamp was on, but the bed was empty. Her dresser was covered in framed photos and I noticed the one that Mabel had been looking at the other day. In the photo, a teenaged Caroline flashed a perfect smile at the camera as she sat on the edge of an old wooden speedboat, wearing only a tiny yellow bikini. Caroline was still a beautiful woman, but in her youth she'd been stunning. Her skin was golden and tanned and her tiny top showed off her full, round breasts. As she leaned forward, I could just see the edge of a pale triangle that marked where the sun hadn't touched her delicate flesh. Her toned legs dangled off the front of the boat so that her toes just touched the water. And her long, straight, sun-kissed blonde hair beautifully framed her angelic face. I awoke from my daydream when I heard a footstep to my right. Caroline was standing in her nighty at the dark doorway to her bathroom. She blinked at me as if she'd just woken up. "I knocked but no one answered," I said. "Were you in the bathroom...in the dark?" "I'm...I'm not sure where I was." She shook her head to clear away the cobwebs as she walked over to see what I was looking at. When she saw the photo, she smiled at me. "You're not the first boy to be captivated by that bikini." She took the photo and stared wistfully at it. "Can you stay a bit, Jason? I'd like some company." I checked my watch. "Umm...I guess I could stay for five minutes or so." "That would be wonderful." She patted the bed beside her, and asked me to sit. Handing me the photo, she leaned against my shoulder. "That was me when I was eighteen. It was the summer of 1961 and we were up at my uncle's cabin -- that speedboat was his pride and joy. "The lake the cabin was on was so clear and so beautiful, and we'd go up there every year to water-ski and swim. I remember my mother was so proud of how I looked in my new bikini; she insisted on taking that picture. "Anyways, I was an excellent swimmer and I knew there was a campground at the far end of the lake. Every summer I'd always try to swim all the way to the end, but I never succeeded until that year, and I was ecstatic when I finally made it. I was lying exhausted on the beach, trying to catch my breath, when a shadow fell across me. I covered my eyes to block the sunlight, and looked up and saw the cutest boy I'd ever seen." Love in the Twilight Caroline put her hand on my leg and softly stroked it. "His name was Mark, and he was your age. In fact, he looked very much like you. "We spent the whole day swimming together, and I thought it was the best day of my life. He had to go for dinner, but there was a small, sandy beach halfway up the lake, and we promised to meet there once the moon had risen. "I snuck away just after twilight in my bikini and swam to our secret beach, wondering if he'd show. When I heard him swimming across the lake, and saw him walk out of the water with the moon shining on his beautiful body...I was in heaven. "He didn't say a word. He just wrapped his arms around me and kissed me like I'd never been kissed before. My bathing suit was soaking wet, but I didn't feel it with the heat between us." As she talked, she kept stroking her hand higher and higher up my thigh, until her thumb brushed against the tip of my embarrassingly erect cock. "I'd been kissed by boys, touched by boys, but I'd never been with a boy. I trembled when he slid his hand down the back of my bikini bottoms. And then I slid my hand down the front of his trunks." I started when I felt her hand slide across my erection. When I didn't say anything, she rubbed it through my pants. "Mmm...when I felt how hard he was...it felt so good. He pushed his trunks down, and when I saw him naked in the moonlight...he was wonderful. I couldn't stop touching him, stroking my hand up and down his length," she said, as she kept massaging my stiff cock. "And then he took off my bikini, and we were both naked on our secret beach, exploring each other with our hands and mouths. I can still remember his warm breath on my breasts...his soft tongue on my nipples. We laid down on the sand and he got on top of me." I could feel Caroline's hot breath as she softly kissed my neck while she told me her story...her hand squeezing my aching cock through my uniform. She lifted my shirt and tried to slide her hand down the front of my pants, but because of the angle she could only brush the base of my cock with her fingertips. I unfastened the button, unzipped my fly and pushed my boxers down as she pulled my cock out. "He laid me down on the sand," she whispered, as she stroked my stiff pole up and down while I stared at her photo. "And I felt him between my legs, he was so hard...so beautiful. But I was still a virgin -- I'd never done anything like this before. So he took control. He was tender...and loving as he entered me." Caroline jacked my cock even faster, pumping her hand up and down my swollen shaft. "Once he was completely inside me, after he'd taken my cherry, I felt wonderful. I lay beneath him on that sandy beach, as he pumped...and stroked...and then he..." I groaned and suddenly cum erupted out of my cock and rolled down the side of her hand like hot white lava while she continued to pump my shaft. "Yes," she said, smiling as she looked down at her cum-coated hand, "that's exactly what happened." Embarrassed, I jumped up and grabbed a handful of tissues to clean my cock while she wiped her hand off. "Did you want to take a shower to clean yourself up, Jason?" "Uh, no thanks," I said, and hurriedly stuffed my still-dripping cock back into my pants, hoping it wouldn't leave a stain. "I'd better get back to work." Angie was down the hallway, circling her dry, chapped lips with her finger as she applied a thin coat of Vaseline. Her eyes narrowed when she spotted me leaving Caroline's room. "I was just...umm...thanking Mrs. Andrews for singing today," I said, and hurried down the hallway in the opposite direction. Near the end of the hallway, I noticed one of the resident's doors was open. I peered inside and saw a shadowy figure lurking near the dresser. I turned on the light and saw Mabel standing there with a small gold necklace in her hands. "Mabel, you have to go back to your own room," I whispered, as I walked in and took the necklace from her. As I led her back into the hallway, I saw Angie talking to Janet at the far end. Angie pointed at me when she saw me, and Janet headed in my direction. "Jason, what's that in your hand?" she said. "A necklace," I said, handing it to her. "Mabel was wandering again, I found her in Mrs. Murphy's room and she had it in her hand." "That's not my necklace," said Mabel. "I know it's not, but you took it, right?" She looked at me and I could see the confusion in her eyes as she slowly shook her head. "I didn't take that necklace, you did." I knew how bad this looked. "Janet, I...I didn't take the necklace!" She took it from me and put it in her pocket. "You know we've had a problem with theft lately, Jason. Angie said she saw you coming out of a room you weren't supposed to be in with a guilty look on your face. I'll make sure this necklace is returned to its proper owner, but you'd better watch yourself." * * * The following afternoon, I was talking to Sara at the nursing station when I saw Caroline exit the elevator. She smiled shyly at me and went into the activity room. I followed her inside and saw her helping hand out bingo cards. I waited by the wall, and when she was finished she walked over to me. Checking to make sure none of the residents were near enough to hear us, I whispered, "I'm sorry -- " Caroline held up her hand to stop me. "I'm the one that should apologize," she said. "I honestly don't know what came over me last night, but I promise it won't happen again." Her unexpected apology rattled me. "Oh...I was...I was just going to say that I'm sorry Janet won't let you sing anymore. I'd better get back to work," I said, and went to leave. Caroline quickly grabbed my hand. "Jason, I didn't mean it like that. After what happened in my room...I couldn't stop thinking about you all night. It's been a long time since anyone made me feel the way you do. But I know we crossed a line, and I don't want to get you in trouble." "It's okay," I whispered. "No one's going to find out." Caroline let my hand go, and changed the subject when she saw Angie enter the room. "I'm also sorry they're not going to let me sing anymore, but at least we have bingo," she said sarcastically. "All I wanted was to bring a little sunshine into the lives of my friends here." I looked around the dimly lit activity room. A fluorescent bulb flickered overhead as the residents hunched over their paper bingo cards, dabbers in hand, waiting for their numbers to be drawn. Waiting for the end of the game. When I walked back into the lobby, Sara waved to me and pointed down the hallway. I was glad to see Walter was feeling better after his fall the day before; he was about ten feet away from the front door. I grabbed his wheelchair and headed toward him as Janet stood and watched me through her office window. Walter saw me coming and tried to shuffle faster, weakly waving me away with his arm. "No...stay away from me! Why can't I go where I want to? You can't keep me trapped in here..." He struggled and tried to push me away as I placed him in his wheelchair, lowered the footrests and put his feet on them. He slumped in the chair, knowing he'd failed again and I'd be taking him back to the far end of the hallway. But I didn't. I unlocked the wheels and pushed him toward the front entrance. "Where are we going?" said Walter. "We're escaping." As I wheeled him outside he held up his hand to hide his eyes, which were no longer used to daylight. I heard Janet yelling after me, ordering me to bring him back, but I didn't. I took Walter down the walkway and parked his wheelchair beside a grassy stretch with a small garden near it. I sat beside him on a wooden bench and we enjoyed the sunshine. Sara and Janet came running down the walkway but stopped when they saw us. I was leaning back with my head tilted upward, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face. Walter was beside me doing exactly the same thing, except tears of joy streaked his face. After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and saw that Sara and Janet had both gone back up the walkway. "Well, Mr. Williams, should we head back inside now?" He nodded, and as I wheeled him through the front door, every head was turned his way. The residents all smiled and nodded at Walter as he went past, delighted that he'd finally succeeded, had finally made his escape. I wheeled him back toward the far end of the hall so he could start his escape again, but he stopped me. He looked back over his shoulder, and I thought he was going to thank me. But all he asked was if he could go play some bingo. I nodded and went to turn his wheelchair, but I felt a hand on my arm. Caroline was beside me. "I'll take Walter to bingo, Jason. Thank you." I watched as she pushed him toward the activity room, leaning over and softly singing in his ear as she took him away. * * * When I came back to work after two days off, I knew I had to talk to Caroline. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her the whole weekend. But she spent the day sitting with residents, softly singing to them and listening to their stories. She saw me and smiled at me, but I never had a chance to be alone with her. When I'd finished my rounds that evening, I headed toward her room. I was coming down the hallway when I saw her door open, and was surprised to see Janet come out. She didn't see me as she quietly shut the door and headed in the opposite direction. And then I saw Caroline coming out of Pearl's room. She saw me and gave me a sad smile. "Pearl's passed away," she whispered. "When?" "Just now." "She died when you were in her room? What were you doing in there?" "Pearl asked me to stay with her. She knew this was going to be her last night, and she didn't want to die alone." "You were right beside her...while she died? Wow...I don't think I could do that. Wasn't it...scary?" "Not at all," said Caroline. "I found it...reassuring. I didn't know Pearl that well, so I was honored when she asked me to stay with her. I sang to her a bit, and after she slipped away, holding my hand, she looked so...peaceful." Caroline squeezed my hand and I could see tears in her eyes. "Seeing that look on her face...the tranquility...after so much pain...makes me less afraid. In fact, I think the only thing I'm afraid of is dying alone, with no one to hold my hand." "Did...did you want me to go sit in your room with you for a bit?" I asked. "You know...so you won't be alone?" She smiled and touched her hand to my cheek. "I don't think that's a very good idea, Jason. It sounds very...dangerous. I need to go tell Angie about Pearl, so she can get her ready and call her family. And you'd better get back to work before Janet catches you." * * * The next day, Angie, Sara and I watched from the nursing station as Pearl's relatives left with her belongings, while Janet was in her office, trying to calm down the angry son of a resident whose wedding ring had gone missing. I'd seen Caroline earlier in the day, but had never found the time to talk to her. Later that evening, as I was helping residents return to their rooms, Sara pulled me aside. "Have you seen Mrs. Andrews?" she said. "She never came down to dinner." I took the stairs two at a time as I ran up to the second floor to check her room. I was halfway down the hallway when I heard a resident screaming at someone to get out of his room. Assuming Mabel was on one of her nightly sojourns, I went to take her back to her own room. I was shocked when I opened the door and saw it was Caroline. She was standing by the dresser with her eyes squeezed shut and her hands over her ears as an old man screamed at her. "I want a lock on my door, I'm sick of having my things stolen!" he yelled, as I held Caroline tightly and led her out into the hallway. She pushed away from me at first, as if she didn't know me, but as I whispered comfortingly to her I saw recognition slowly flood back into her eyes. "Jason?" she said, " I couldn't...I couldn't remember where I was." "Its okay, I'll take care of you," I said, and took her back to her room. Without turning on the light, I sat her on the bed and she hugged herself against me as I stood in front of her and reassuringly stroked her hair. I could hear her sobbing in the dark. "Can you stay for a bit? I'm scared that I'll...forget again. I don't want to be alone." "I'm not going anywhere," I said. "Why don't you sing for a bit? That always helps you to remember." Still holding me tight, Caroline's voice trembled as she sang. Say nighty-night and kiss me Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me While I'm alone and blue as can be Dream a little dream of me When she was finished, Caroline kissed my stomach through my shirt and gently pressed her hand against the front of my pants, looking up at me when she felt my cock respond to her touch. The curtains were open, and by the moonlight I watched her as she unbuttoned my pants and pulled the elastic of my boxers back until my stiff cock sprung free. And then she gently let go of my boxers so that they pinned my erection against my stomach; my cock was long enough that a good two inches stuck out above the waistband. Still resting her head against my stomach while I stroked her hair, Caroline twirled her tongue around the head of my cock while rubbing the shaft through my underwear. After a few more licks, she tilted her head forward and softly sucked the tip of my cock. Her mouth was warm as she pulled my boxers back and gently bobbed up and down on my cock. I leaned my head back and moaned softly, still stroking her hair while she sucked me. Caroline took her wet mouth off of my cock and stood up, watching me as she removed her nightgown, and the moonlight illuminated her nude body like that night, so long ago, on that secret beach. I stripped off my uniform and our bodies melded together in the darkness as we kissed each other for the first time. I gently lay her back on the bed and she spread her legs as I moved between them. Her body was beautiful, and I kissed her softly behind her ear and then trailed kisses down her neck and to her breasts. They had lost the fullness of youth and were no longer as high as they had once been, but in my mind she was still the girl in the photo. She held my head against her as I gently flicked my tongue against her nipples, and then she pulled me up and I kissed her again. She sighed when she felt my hardness between her legs and moaned as I slid my length inside her. "Oh, Jason," she whispered, "I'll never forget this. Not until the end of time." I raised myself up and thrust into her with long, slow strokes. Her moist heat enveloped me as I drove deeper and deeper. She hooked her legs around me, closed her eyes and tilted her head back in ecstasy. When I looked at Caroline's face, I knew she was no longer at Shadywood; she was back on that beach, being made love to for the first time under the moonlight. Our bodies were one on that tiny bed. Her hands slid across my body, savoring the firmness of youth, until they reached my hips, and she taught me how to make love to a woman. I wish I could have lasted longer, I wish I could have made that moment last forever, for both of us. But I felt control slipping away. She knew it, and kissed me hard as I flooded her with my warmth. As an orgasm shuddered through her body, she broke the kiss, but I kept kissing her, kissing the tears running down her cheeks. As we both caught our breath, I admired her still beautiful body as the moonlight highlighted her curves. But then I realized it wasn't moonlight, but fluorescent light that bathed her body. I looked back and realized the door was open and the light was coming from the hallway. And silhouetted against the doorway was Mabel. "You're not supposed to be in my room," she said, as she nervously wrung her hands while watching us. I quickly jumped to my feet and pulled my uniform on as Caroline dove beneath the covers while Mabel stared at us, lost and confused. "Mabel, you're not supposed to be in here," I whispered. "You have to go back to your room." "You're not supposed to be in my room," she said. I took her out in the hallway and was leading her back to her room when Janet came around the corner. "I've been looking all over for you, Jason. Where were you?" "I was...umm...just looking for Mabel. I found her in Caroline's room." Her eyes narrowed as she took Mabel's arm. "I'll take her back to her own room. Go help Angie, go do your job." I nodded and went downstairs. After all of the times I'd chased after Mabel, and tried to make her remember, I found it ironic that I was now desperately hoping she'd forget. * * * I wasn't scheduled to work the next day and feared the worst when Janet called and told me to come in for a meeting at 10 am. Had Mabel said something? Had Mabel finally remembered? I arrived at Shadywood ten minutes early and made my way to the second floor. I was walking past Mabel's room when I noticed Sara was in there with Caroline. She was singing to Mabel while Sara searched her dresser. They were both surprised when they looked up and saw me standing in the doorway. "Jason, I thought it was your day off?" said Sara. I walked in the room and nodded at Caroline. "Janet asked me to come in for a meeting. Why are you guys in Mabel's room?" "We're looking for Mrs. Andrews' necklace, it's gone missing." At that moment, Janet walked past Mabel's doorway with a middle-aged man. Caroline stepped past me. "Will?" Her son hugged her while Janet walked past them into the room. "Jason, I said the meeting wasn't until ten! And why are you up here, and not waiting in my office like I told you to?" "Jason?" said Will, as he eyeballed me. "This kid is the Jason you phoned me about?" "Please," said Janet, as she stepped between us. "Let's go to my office." He pushed past her and angrily stabbed a finger at my chest. "No! I trusted you to take care of my mother, and now I find out this kid's been fucking her?" Sara's jaw dropped as Caroline gasped. "Will," she said, as she tried to push him away. "You don't understand!" "You're coming to live with me, Mom, you're not staying here. And you," he said, pointing at me, "I want you charged!" I felt my life falling apart as doors popped open down the hallway and curious residents peeked their heads out to see what all the yelling was about. "Jason, is what Mabel said true?" asked Janet. "Are you in a sexual relationship with Mrs. Andrews?" I was overwhelmed; I couldn't speak, so Caroline answered for me. "Please, it wasn't Jason's fault...I initiated everything. And when Mabel saw him in my room, it was completely consensual." "Thank you, Mrs. Andrews," said Janet, and turned to me. "I wish I could excuse it because of your age, Jason, but romantic or sexual relationships between staff and residents are both unethical and unprofessional. Consider your employment at Shadywood terminated, effective immediately. "And I should also inform you that the police will be contacting you -- " "Why?" I blurted out. "You heard Caroline. I didn't do anything illegal, we're in love." Everyone stared at me, not saying a word, until Will finally broke the silence. "Get dressed Mom, we're leaving." "I'm so sorry, Jason, this is all my fault." Caroline took a step toward me, but her son intercepted her. Sara gave me a hurt look as she went with them to help Caroline change. I went to follow them but Janet grabbed my arm. "Jason, the police don't want to talk to you about what happened between you and Mrs. Andrews; they want to talk to you about all of the jewelry that's gone missing. You regularly disappear on your shift without explanation. And now a necklace of Mrs. Andrews has disappeared, and you were the last person seen in her room." Love in the Twilight "I didn't steal it," I said. And then I realized who had. "You...I saw you coming out of her room the other night. And another time I saw you sneaking out of Pearl's room. You're the one stealing the jewelry!" Janet's mouth opened wide in shock. "I was in their rooms because I was looking for you! How dare you try to turn this around on me -- you're the thief!" Her eyes narrowed as she stabbed her finger accusingly at my chest. "The police are coming here to arrest you in my office at ten. And when they find the jewelry you stole...I'll be pressing full charges!" I knocked her hand away. "What do you mean when they find the jewelry...what did you do, plant it somewhere? So you could frame me?" I pushed past her and went toward Caroline's room. Janet ran after me, grabbing my arm and telling me I couldn't go in there. We'd just reached the doorway when Sara found the missing necklace. She had been taking out socks for Caroline to wear when the gold necklace fell out from between them. As Sara picked it up, Caroline clapped her hand to her mouth. "Oh my god...now I remember...I hid it from Mabel...but I forgot..." Will held his mom as she sobbed into his shoulder. Janet pulled my sleeve and led me downstairs. The police were waiting in her office. Even though Caroline's necklace had been found, they were still investigating the other missing pieces of jewelry. But while Janet and I pointed the finger at each other, Sara told them about Mabel. She told them how many times she had searched through Mabel's wastebasket and found personal items that she'd taken from other residents and thrown away. Often, these items were jewelry. Sara always returned them to the rightful owners, but she suspected that many other items may have been missed and were simply thrown out by accident. Luckily, the police accepted this explanation as the most plausible, and no charges were pressed against me. But my career as an orderly at Shadywood was over, and when Janet escorted me off the premises, Sara and Angie sadly waved goodbye from the nursing station. * * * I tried to forget about Shadywood, I knew it was in the past now, but I couldn't stop thinking of Caroline. I wasn't sure if her son had taken her to live with him or if she was still at the care home. But I had to find out, and a week later I snuck back in to see her. Janet's office was empty and Sara was at the nursing station. "Jason, what are you doing here?" "Mrs. Andrews...is she still here?" Sara nodded. "I just need to see her. I want to apologize and say goodbye." "You'll get in so much trouble if you're discovered. The police are still investigating the missing jewelry. Janet wont give up, she still thinks you stole it." "You know I didn't. Please, it will just take a few minutes." Sara nodded and reluctantly let me pass. I cautiously made my way up to the second floor, keeping an eye open for Janet. Caroline was shocked when I entered her room and hugged me tightly. "Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry for everything that happened." "It's okay," I said, as I kissed her. "Caroline, I want to take you away from here." "Take me away...what are you talking about?" "This place isn't right for you. Come live with me, I can take care of you." "Jason, you know I'm sick. I couldn't live with my own family, how could I live with you?" "It's different with me, I'm an orderly, I know how to care for you." "Jason, you know it's not the same." "Caroline, I love you. Please let me try -- " She put her fingers to my lips to shush me. "Jason, after what happened between us...my son took me to see my doctor. You and I both know my Alzheimer's is getting worse, and my doctor told me that one of the symptoms is hypersexuality. I hadn't been with anyone since my husband died, and I've never been as aggressive as I was with you. I love you Jason, but what happened between us the other night...that's not me." I grabbed her hands and kissed them. "It doesn't matter, it's not about sex. I just want to take care of you." "Jason, you're sweet, but that's why I admitted myself to Shadywood, because I didn't want to be a burden to my family, and I don't want to be a burden to you. I'm happy here, because I know coming here was my decision, no one else's. "And even if I didn't have this terrible disease, there's too many years between us. I want you to be happy. I want you to get married to a beautiful wife, to have kids, and to spend many happy years with them. I have too few left." "Caroline, I don't care," I said. "I want to spend those years with you." "Please, Jason...just go...don't make me have to forget about you, too," she said, and burst into tears. I held her tight and gently kissed the tears away. "I'll never forget you, Caroline." "I hope not. I'm terrified, knowing I'm going to forget everyone I've ever loved, but the only thing that makes it bearable is knowing that they won't forget me." As we parted, I made one final request. "Before I leave...can you sing for me one last time?" She smiled and sang our song. Stars fading but I linger on, dear Still craving your kiss I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear Just saying this... When she finished the song, she kissed me tenderly. "Before you go, you should say goodbye to Walter. He hasn't been doing well. I know he's a grumpy old man, but he misses you. You were the only one who ever listened to him." I wiped a tear from my eye and nodded, and went down the hall to Walter's room. I opened the door and Angie was in there adjusting his pillow. "Jason! You are not allowed to be in the building." "I just wanted to say goodbye to Mr. Williams." "No, you must leave!" "I just want to say goodbye." "I'm going to get Janet," she said, and hurried out of the room. Walter was asleep and breathing shallowly as I sat at his bedside. "Mr. Williams...Walter?" Walter woke up grumbling, and was surprised to see me. "Oh, it's you, are you back?" "No, I just wanted to say goodbye. And let you know I'll miss chasing you down the hallway." He harrumphed and turned away, but as I got up to leave, he held out his hand for me to shake it. "Thank you, Jason...for everything." As I shook his hand, I felt something wet on my palm. I touched it with my finger and realized it was Vaseline. "My ring," he said, looking at his hand. "Where's my ring?" Just then, Janet burst into the room with Angie and Sara. "Jason, I've called the police," said Janet. "Good, because I know who the thief is -- Angie stole Walter's ring!" Angie backed away and put her hand to her pocket. "He is lying, he is the thief!" "Angie...empty your pocket," said Janet. When she hesitated, Janet quickly grabbed her, reached in her pocket, and drew forth Walter's Vaseline-covered ring. When the police arrived, Angie was arrested and charged with the theft of the missing jewelry. When they searched her house, they found a treasure trove of items that she'd stolen from residents of Shadywood over the years. Many of these residents were departed, but their families were overjoyed at having their long-gone loved ones' possessions returned. Janet thanked me for my help in catching Angie, and apologized for accusing me of the thefts, but stopped short of offering me my job back. I went to college instead and furthered my education. In time, I forgot about Shadywood, but I never forgot about Caroline. While at college I met my wife, and we married and had a daughter, Emily, a few years later. After completing my bachelor's degree, I found a great job and moved on with my life, until the day I heard a knock at the door. As soon as I saw her face I knew who she was, I remembered her from the photograph. "Hi, Jason?" she said. "My name's Julie. I think you knew my mother, Caroline Andrews?" I couldn't stop staring; she looked so much like her mother. "Yes," I said, as my daughter hugged my leg, checking to see who was at the door. "I remember Caroline." "My mom's...not doing well," she said, as she smiled down at Emily. "My brother will kill me if he finds out I came to see you. But my mom...my mom told me all about you...and her. And I just wanted to know if you wanted to see her...before she's gone." "I'd love to, can I bring my daughter with me?" Emily and I went with Julie in her car. As she drove, she explained that Caroline had been moved from Shadywood a few years ago to a specialized memory care facility for people in the final stages of Alzheimer's. "Just to warn you," she said. "My mother probably won't recognize you. I don't think she even knows who I am. You can talk to her, but don't be disappointed if she doesn't answer, she rarely talks anymore." I held Emily's hand as we followed Julie to her mother's room. When I saw Caroline I almost didn't recognize her. Her beautiful silvery blonde hair had been shorn short and was now completely gray. She'd aged dramatically in the last seven years. "Hi, Mom," said Julie, as she held Caroline's hand. "I've brought someone to see you." My daughter and I moved to the edge of her bed, but Caroline didn't respond. She just stared straight ahead and clutched a small doll they'd given her. "Did you want to talk to her?" said Julie. I nodded, and she went to leave the room to give us privacy. "Please, stay," I said, and Julie sat in a chair and smiled sadly at me. Emily went to one side of the bed and held Caroline's hand. "I like your doll, what's her name?" But Caroline didn't answer. I took her other hand and sat on the edge of the bed. "Hi Caroline, it's me, Jason. This is my daughter, Emily. I've told her so much about you, and she wanted to finally meet you. I told her what a beautiful singer you are, and I told her how much you taught me. It's so good to see you again." But Caroline didn't answer; she just held my hand and stared straight ahead. So I leaned close and sang our song. And as I sang, Emily joined in. She knew the words by heart; I had sung it to her every night when she was young, as a lullaby. As we sang, Caroline's head turned slightly toward Emily and her eyes moved as she watched her sing. And on the last verse, her lips parted and she joined in. And Julie cried as she heard her mother's beautiful voice for the last time. Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you But in your dreams whatever they be Dream a little dream of me A few weeks later, Julie phoned and told me that the nurses didn't think Caroline would last through the night. Her brother had moved to another city, and couldn't find a flight that would get him there until the next day. So Julie asked me if I would sit with her and her mother. And I did as Caroline wished, and held her hand as she slipped away. I never went to the funeral, out of respect for her son, Will, but Julie told me they played Dream a Little Dream of Me. As I pulled my car into the parking lot at work and switched off the radio, I realized five years had passed since Caroline died. I picked up my briefcase, with the care plans I had been reviewing inside, and went in the front entrance. I walked past the door marked Administrator, with my name underneath, and went to the far end of the hall. I stepped through the sliding doors onto the new patio where Sara was wheeling residents out into the sunshine. They were all waiting as a young girl tuned her guitar, getting ready to play Shadywood's first concert of the week. Sara smiled when she saw me and said, "You're just in time, Jason, she's about to sing your favorite song."