8 comments/ 67231 views/ 21 favorites Let's Go To The Drive In By: JustLikeEwe A middle-aged man looks back on a crazy night from his youth. *** It was the summer of 1978 and I was dating this girl by the name of Janice, driving a beat up VW van and enjoying myself in the brief time I had before college would force me back to the real world. Janice was a couple of months younger than I was and my fascination with her was purely physical because while I was no genius, Janice was as dumb as a stump and while I was headed to college she was going back to high school to give senior year another try. We were what some called hippies. although a very mild suburban variety in that our free-spirited nature was ruled by our parents with whom we lived. I had fashionably long hair along with the VW bug which qualified my hippie status in the town of Colonie in upstate New York, since we seemed to be years behind the rest of the world. Janice qualified as a hippie because she wore a lot of clothes and jewelry with peace symbols on them, rarely wore a bra and didn't shave her armpits. I was fine with all of that and was especially delighted that the breasts that were rarely housed in a harness were huge. The part of being a hippie that Janice didn't understand was that hippies were supposed to be promiscuous, or at least that was what I had heard. Despite the other signs that led me to think otherwise, Janice was a virgin or at least that was what she claimed. We did everything else a couple could do except have intercourse, and to be honest I had become rather obsessed with that. It was probably the only reason I kept going with her - the carrot at the end of the string. Janice's 18th birthday was what I thought would be the perfect night to take her virginity, and since the Mohawk Drive-in was having a triple feature of pretty bad movies I thought that would make the perfect place for us to consummate our relationship. I was getting the impression that Janice's defenses were weakening and knew that time was running out for me with her. "Smokey and the Bandit, Eat My Dust and Grand Theft Auto?" Janice whined when I proposed how we should celebrate her 18th birthday. "It'll be outta sight!" I declared, either that or "groovy". I had everything we would need; a couple of 6 packs of Genesee beer in a ratty styrofoam cooler that was seeing its last summer, a joint that I had bummed off a friend and a dozen condoms. Janice knew about everything except the condoms, which were going to be a surprise. The dozen might have been overkill, but considering how horny I was it seemed like the right amount. Back then I probably jerked off that many times in a day anyway so better safe than sorry was my philosophy. Besides, they wouldn't go to waste because they were vacuum wrapped. Good thing too because I was no sex machine, having had intercourse twice in my life up until then. Both of those events were with the same unfortunate girl who I think only did it with me the second time because she couldn't believe how bad the first time had been. My equipment was fine, mind you, but I had this problem with self-control or lack thereof. Quick on the trigger and not intentionally either. So Janice had agreed to the date and was even on her porch when I drove up to her house that she shared with her mother. For some reason Janice seemed ashamed of her mother and tried to avoid me being around her so the porch thing was nothing new. At that age most of us felt that way about our parents from time to time but the few times I had been around Mrs. Lambert she seemed alright. A little wacky maybe, and it also seemed like she tried hard to be cool, but other than that she seemed alright. Janice and her mother lived alone in that modest little house on Wilkins Avenue since Janice's older brother had moved out and her father had split up with her Mom. Janice claimed that her father dumped her mother because she was too insane for him to take, but I didn't knew anything about that. So up to Janice's house I drove that Saturday evening, and as I pulled up in front of the place a funny thing happened. Not funny in a ha-ha sense, but as I was about to stop the car it started doing this spastic dance it sometimes did like when it was running out of gas, but I had almost half a tank so that wasn't it. After jerking and bucking it let out a sigh, pretty much saying "oh fuck it", and died. It wasn't a permanent death because a talented friend would bring it back to life the next day, but for that night at least, my fuck truck was dead. "Bummer," Janice said as she walked up to me while I looked under the hood, which was what you were supposed to do even if you didn't know anything about cars. "Can you jump it?" Jump it? I shook my head, happy that there was somebody even less knowledgeable about cars than I was, and as she rattled off a bunch of other lame suggestions I pondered my options. There I was, standing on the side of the road with a busted down car and a pudgy girlfriend with a dubious complexion who might never put out. I was so pissed off that if it wasn't for those torpedo-like tits swaying free under that tie-dye tank top I would have said fuck it just like the car had. "What do we do now?" Janice asked. "It's my birthday." "I know it's your birthday," I said. "I got you a cake." Indeed I had bought a Friehofer's sheet cake at the store, white cake with chocolate frosting, and while it didn't say 'happy birthday' on it, I did buy a package of little candles too so it wasn't like I didn't care, and when Janice saw it she got all dewy-eyed. "Forks too," she added when she saw the plastic implements, not bothered by the prospect of eating a cake out of the box with me as we sat inside the VW bug and contemplated what to do next. "We could hang out in the back," I suggested, so blinded by my raging hormones that I was fine with making out in the back seat in front of her Mom's house until it got dark, at which time I would give her another present besides the peace symbol necklace I had already given her. That present was 6 and 5/8 inches of throbbing manhood that was already oozing in my pants, and while she was not unfamiliar with my dick (and had even measured in one afternoon up in her room when we had nothing else to do) she had never experienced what I could do with it. "Oh man," Janice whined. "I want to fucking die. Let's go." The cause of her dismay was her mother who was walking across the lawn and towards the van, and while I was more than willing to go like she wanted unless she was going to go out and push it we were stuck. "Hi Jeremy," Mary Lambert chirped. "Your van shit the bed?" "Uh, yes Mrs. Lambert," I replied, putting on my best Eddie Haskell imitation for her. "Guess that spoils your birthday party, huh kids?" she asked as she looked in the back at the cooler and the cake and the blanket already for action. "Where were you headed, the airport?" "Uh no," I said. "The drive-in." "Oh? What's playing?" Mrs. Lambert asked, and when I told her the titles of the movies her face lit up. "Burt Reynolds is in that Smokey movie isn't he?" Mrs. Lambert asked, and when I confirmed that she declared, "He's a real hunk. And Opie is in those other movies isn't he?" "Ronny Howard?" "That's him. before he was in Happy Days he used to play Opie on The Andy Griffith show," Mrs. Lambert informed me. "When I was younger I had a crush on that little bugger. Wouldn't have minded tooting his whistle if you know what I mean." "I'm outta here," Janice announce as she got out of the van and headed inside. "Gotta go pee." "Oh well, she's mad at me again," Mrs. Lambert correctly assumed. "I guess I embarrass her sometimes. Just trying to be nice." "You are," I said, and while I admit that I wasn't prepared for her announcing she wanted to toot Richie Cunningham's whistle, I was getting a kick out of her. "You know, if you want I could take you two to the drive-in," Mrs. Lambert suggested, and I didn't comprehend that at first, trying to figure out how we would watch movies sitting outside and then wait for her to pick us up because she couldn't actually be suggesting... "Why not?" I haven't been to the drive-in in ages," she explained. "I just want to watch the movies, and you too could sit in the backseat of the boat and do what kids do." The "boat" Mrs. Lambert referred to was this Chrysler New Yorker that was about 8 years old, and I had figured out that she had managed to get custody of it along with the kids when her husband divorced her. It was old but was in beautiful shape even if it was as big as a whale, and when I looked over at the tan battleship I was about to suggest I borrow it for the night until she squashed that idea before I had a chance to hatch it. "I would let you take it but it's only insured foe me to drive it," she explained. "Otherwise with Janice around my insurance would go sky-high. So what do you think Jeremy? You two can be in the back drinking beer - and you won't have to worry about getting drunk and driving home." "I don't get drunk," I assured her and that was true. "I only have a couple when I'm going to be driving." "What's all the rest of the brews for?" she asked as he reached back and lifted the foam lid. "Pour the rest down my little girl's throat?" "Uhhhh," I replied, wondering how she could read my mind, although Janice never needed help in drinking and would have had no problem in downing six or so while devouring half of the cake in the process. "Hell, I was born at night, but not last night," Mrs. Lambert snickered. "So what do you say?" "I'm okay with it," I blurted out, but I was just saying that because I knew Janice would not have any part of it. "But what about..." "Leave that to me," she said, and with that motioned me to follow her into the house. Janice and her Mom had a spirited discussion that I could only partially overhear, and while I suspect Mrs. Lambert used some tricks like parental extortion and emotional blackmail, a half hour later we were putting the cooler in the New Yorker. "Can't believe I'm doing this," Janice muttered as we climbed into the back seat and waited for her Mom to come out. "It's my fucking birthday." "It will be fun, and I bet you'll remember this night for the rest of your life" I said. "I think your Mom is far out. Hell, my mother would never do anything like this. She even told me she would go the the snack bar and hang out there for a while so we could make out when it got real dark." "She said that?" "Yeah," I said, not bothering adding that her Mom also said that after we got back home afterward I was free to take Janice out to my dead van so I could, in her words "really say good night to her". "What a nightmare this is," Janice said as she rolled her eyes. "Maybe I'll get lucky and this car won't start either. Anyway I am going to get so fucking hammered you won't believe it." "It's your birthday babe," I declared as I reached over and kissed her, and I got in a little kneading of her jugs before Mrs. Lambert appeared. "Off to the races," Mrs. Lambert chirped as Janice groaned, but the car started and we were indeed off to the races. *** I'm not sure how many people have gone to the drive-in like this, with two teenagers in the back seat and a Mom alone in the front. Maybe we looked like a family with Janice and myself being brother and sister when the guy at the booth took our money. Mrs. Lambert's money to be precise, because while I offered up the money she refused it, declaring it was her treat and was worth it for her to get out of the house for once. "You were out last night Ma," Janice reminded her. "You didn't get home until 1 either. Mr. Zwink's car needs a muffler." "The shop teacher?" I mouthed to Janice who rolled her eyes, apparently not pleased that her mother was dating a teacher at our school - a school she she would have to return to next month. "Hard to figure out who the mother is sometimes, isn't it Jeremy?" Mrs. Lambert asked as she looked back at us in the rear-view mirror while maneuvering the car to the rear of the gigantic lot. "I'm 18 too you know. This is where your father used to park when he took me to the drive-in. He liked to be alone." "I know the feeling," Janice cattily replied. "You won't even know I'm here," her Mom said and tilted the mirror to show she wouldn't be watching. "Knock yourselves out." "On my way," Janice said as she twisted off the cap of a Genny and downed half of it in one gulp. "Why are they starting the movie now?" Mrs. Lambert asked as the screen lit up despite night being about 15 minutes away at least, and as she reached out to pull in the speaker to hang on the window she opined, "It's like going to a matinee." "I always say that too!" I agreed while offering Janice's Mom a beer. "You two belong together," Janice said with a belch that following the downing of her first beer. "Well, she's right." "Great minds think alike," Mrs. Lambert said as she stared at the screen, and as we strained to watch Ronny Howard drive like a lunatic I squeezed Janice's thigh and gave her a smile. "Let's have fun," I mouthed to my date, who shrugged her shoulders and nodded in response. *** As far as I was concerned, it was fun. By the end of the first movie Janice was even smiling and loosening up although it might have been because she was drinking like a fish. I lit the candles of the cake and her Mom joined me in singing "Happy Birthday To You", and we all laughed when it took Janice multiple tries to blow out the candles. After the first movie ended Mrs. Lambert went to the snack bar and in her absence I made out with her daughter, and Janice even got into it, which showed how drunk she was getting. The intermission cartoon reminders of how long it was until the next feature started counted down and Smokey and the Bandit was about to start and Mrs. Lambert still wasn't back so while I kept peeking to make sure she wasn't coming I didn't slow down. We were sweating like pigs in the car and not only because of the heat, and even though Janice was kissing very sloppily she offered no resistance as I groped her jugs while she rubbed my dick through the jeans. It was while I pawed her breasts that I felt like I was being watched so as we wrestled around I glanced back behind me, and to my shock my suspicions were confirmed. I'd seen it before, people looking into other cars at the drive-in while people did their thing, but I had never caught anybody doing it to me. I didn't say anything to Janice but just broke off our wrestling because I knew that even though she was drunk Janice wouldn't have wanted to know that somebody was observing us feeling each other up, and if she knew who was watching that would have... "I'm back," Mrs. Lambert announced after she walked around the car and pretended that she was just getting back from the snack bar. Janice was too blitzed to notice or even care, but I knew and furthermore her Mom knew that I knew. It was that twinkle in her eye when she got in the car, and I found myself looking at Mrs. Lambert in a whole different way. Maybe it was the beer doing the thinking, but either way I couldn't help myself and after her Mom settled into the seat I started messing around with her daughter again. Janice offered little in the way of protest and soon we were necking up a storm with her mother a few feet away in the front seat. Something about having my hand up under Janice's blouse and kneaded her squishy melons made it even more exciting than usual, knowing that if Mrs. Lambert turned around she would see it all. Janice's Mom didn't turn around. I knew that because I would periodically sneak a peek up at her so I saw her sitting while she faced forward. I also saw her when she reached over and tilted the mirror back to the proper position, and then adjusted it so that she was looking right at us. I jumped when I saw what she was doing but I didn't stop and neither did Janice, although not only was she unaware of her Mom watching us but she was not really aware of much at all and soon she stopped responding but was doing a imitation of a rag doll. "Need a beer," she managed to mumble as I announced I had to use the facilities, and after I told Janice to help herself climbed out of the car and headed to the restrooms behind the snack bar. "This is fucking insane," I mumbled to the wall above the urinal as I struggled to get my erection out and pointing downward, not an easy task because of the sticky mess the drooling dick made. The whole night was like a perverted sitcom that I had become a part of. The cast was perfect; my girlfriend Janice was like Adrienne Barbeau from the show "Maude', albeit a slightly chunkier and less attractive version, and her mother Mrs. Lambert looked a little like Florence Henderson from The Brady Bunch, and she was having an affair with the shop teacher from school who was a dead ringer for Tom Bosley who was Richie Cunningham's father on Happy Days. Then there was me. Who was I? David Cassidy. Why not? I was pissing in a rancid smelling bathroom drilling the back of the urinal with a dick that was like blue steel so I felt free to upgrade myself. After my peeing finally ended and I rinsed off my hands I took my time going back to the car, and in my head I figured out that the only thing that would make things any weirder would be for me to get back there and see Janice and her Mom eating each other out in the back seat. During my serpentine walk to the back I let that scenario go through my mind of the last hour or so. Florence Henderson volunteers to chaperone her daughter Adrienne Barbeau and her boyfriend David Cassidy by taking them to the drive-in, and after the three eat cake and drink beer to celebrate Adrienne's 18th birthday, Florence leaves the two kids alone only to sneak back like a pervert and watch them make out, probably because going out with Tom Bosley the night before made her horny. Who would believe this shit? I didn't and I was there. Eventually I found my way back to the car but only after recasting my role from David Cassidy to his half-brother Shaun Cassidy, and knew that if I ever tried to tell my best friend what had happened he would never believe it. "The birthday girl is out like a light," her mother told me as I approached the car, and even in the dim light I could see than Janice had slithered into a position that looked anatomically impossible and was not of this world. "Guess we should get going then," I offered, but Mrs. Lambert wasn't having any of that. "Hell no. We're here, so why not watch the movie, unless you want to go that is." "No - uh - we can stay." "Good. Why don't you get in the front seat Jeremy? That way I won't be alone. Sleeping Beauty won't ever know," Mrs. Lambert declared, so instead of getting in the back I slid into the bench seat up front, and even though the seat was long enough for me to lay down on it felt crowded already. "Give us a chance to get better acquainted," Mrs. Lambert declared as she swiveled to face me and as she put her arm up on the back to the seat she added, "I opened the windows a bit because it was so stuffy. Figured it was worth a few mosquitoes and besides, I've already got a couple of mosquito bites already. See?" See? I could see alright. In my absence Mrs. Lambert had taken off her blouse and was wearing only a white tank-top with nothing underneath which made her outline of her breasts very clear. They were small alright and they drooped a bit as well, but they were bigger than mosquito bites and her nipples looked enormous. "Well?" she asked after realizing that I was apparently content to stare open-mouthed at her tits all night and added, "I know they aren't what you're used to but..." Let's Go To The Drive In "Mrs. Lambert..." "Mary," she corrected me with a smile and then nodded towards her armpit. "I'm not a hippie either I'm afraid, although if you saw me before my date last night - that was a sight. Waste of time too. Guess I don't vacuum behind the couch unless I have to, if you know what I mean." I didn't at the time although I eventually figured it out but after I nodded toward her armpit, a deep crater under her skinny arm which looked as creamy as butter, the distance between us shrank as she slid over. "You aren't afraid of me, are you Jeremy?" Mrs. Lambert cooed as her hand came over and landed directly on her target. "Oooh! You've got a big one don't you?" "Not really," I managed to say as my dick got bigger from her squeezing, but intimidated was a better description of what I was and to say I was taken aback would have been an understatement. "Don't be shy," Mary whispered. "What do they say, more than a handful is a waste? Here." With that Mary Lambert peeled off her t-shirt, exposing breasts that were indeed small and hung down like I guessed they do on a woman in her early fifties, but her nipples were the great part about them. The puffy caps covered the entire ends of the cones, and the nipples that were centered on the plump aureolas were fat and long. Mary Lambert had to put my hand on her breast for me but after that I managed quite well. Mrs. Lambert didn't quite have a handful but my mitts are a little large. Her breasts were even more pliant that her daughter's but I loved the way they felt as I crudely kneaded the soft flesh while the peg of her nipple dug into my palm. "Take it out," Mrs. Lambert hissed in my ear before nibbling on it, but after a little fumbling with my pants she gave up and said, "Pull them down." "Here?" I whispered as I looked back at my snoozing girlfriend. "What about Janice?" "Take care of her later. Take your fucking cock out for me," I was told as Mary Lambert resumed frantically clawing at my pants like a woman possessed, and when we finally got the jeans and underwear down she looked at my boner like it was a national monument. "Need it," she muttered as I arched by butt up off the seat so the clothes could get down past my knees, and to make it clear what she wanted she added, "I want your big dick in my cunt." My response? I came. Not from her dirty talk, which was arousing, but for her grabbing my cock by the base and squeezing. I cried out for her to stop, not even thinking about the baggage in the back seat, but it was too late. "Damn!" Mrs. Lambert said when the first volley erupted from my cock, and if I wasn't so embarrassed I would have taken pride in that blast reaching her glove compartment, the milky string hanging there like an ornament as she dutifully kept jerking me until I was done cumming. "Sorry," I managed. "Me too," she replied as she kept milking my deflating dick. "You'll get it up again though, won't you?" "You will," she replied as she knelt as the bench seat and bowed her head into my lap, and as her mouth swallowed me whole and began sucking her daughter made a little snoring sound. I softly hummed the first part of Brahms Lullaby, louder than I thought because Janice's Mom snorted as she giggled while sucking my dick, but I got serious because it was clear that Mary Lambert was going to suck my dick until it got hard or die trying. It only took a minute to realize that while I had experienced oral sex a few times, Mrs. Lambert was in another league. Janice's Mom was a true artist, and when she realized that this might take a little time she slowed down and instead of pulling upwards like she was attempting to rip it off me she began to use her skills, never missing a beat as she worked her own shorts off. As Mrs. Lambert's head bobbed up and down I busied myself by reaching under her and squeezing her hanging lemons, finding out that not only didn't she mind me pulling on her plump nipples, I couldn't seem to do it hard enough to suit her. My hand moved on as I felt to feel myself re-energizing, pausing to let my fingers stroke her moist armpit and feeling the soft peach fuzz that that had grown since the night before while wondering what Janice's Mom would have looked like with hairy armpits like her daughter. Moving on, my hand glided over her smooth back and down the crack of her pert little butt, and although it took a little stretching and contorting my hand soon found a very wet and very hairy place. It felt very wet and very hairy and I hadn't even reached her pussy yet but was rubbing the areas between her holes. Further down, the hair got even thicker and wetter, but by then I was hard again and as she had made perfectly clear, Mary Lambert was on a mission. "Fuck me," she muttered as she climbed around athletically until she was straddling me. Mrs. Lambert did give a peek towards the back seat, but by the look in her eyes I'm not sure whether it would have mattered or not because she looked deranged as she reached down and shoved my stiff prong into her pussy. Her head was hitting the roof so she leaned forward a bit, placing her hands on the back of the seat behind me while my cock slowly tore into a pussy that was as tight as it was wet. "Damn, you're big," she grunted into my ear while starting to to grin herself into me, and as she impaled herself with me I decided it was a good thing I had cum before because I would have never lasted past entry. Even as it was I had to grit my teeth as Mrs. Lambert bounced in my lap with only our stifled breathing and the movement of the seat while she fucked me. Fucking me was what she did because all I could do was sit there and hold onto her little hangers, since they were flapping around with my help. She came just as Jackie Gleason was declaring, "Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker," and as her pussy clamped around my dick even harder I lost control so we came together, with Mrs. Lambert leaving a reminder on my collarbone with her teeth. "Oh how I needed that," Janice's Mom declared while reaching back to where the cooler was a grabbing a beer. "Ooh, you kinky boy!" she giggled when I stuck out of my tongue and licked her armpit which was right in my face. "Bet you don't do that to Janice." She was wrong about that but I was too drained to argue, so after Mary got the beer she climbed off my and shared the brew with me. After a while the second movie ended and when Mrs. Lambert suggested we go the snack bar before the last movie started I accepted the offer. Getting dressed again, we joined the rest of the dwindling herd to pick out what was left of the junk food. We got a couple sodas since the beer was now gone thanks to Janice, and her Mom grabbed a hot dog. I believe she just bought it so she could eat it provocatively in front of me. "Yours is bigger," Mrs Lambert said as we stood outside and watched the intermission on the big screen as it showed delicious looking food, in other words nothing like they actually served there. "Ouch," I said as she took a big bite, and she smiled as she chewed. "Know who you look like?" Mrs. Lambert asked, and before I could suggest David or Shaun Cassidy she answered her own question. "You look like somebody who just got screwed." I winced because she said it so loud a couple of guy walking past us heard it but Mrs. Lambert brushed it off. "I probably look like hell myself," she threw in. "No, you look fine," I said and while she did look a lot more the worse for wear than she had, she looked sexy to me in her rumpled way. "You were good. How about me? Was I as good as Janice?" she asked hopefully. "I don't care. Just curious, and you can be honest." "I wouldn't tell you even if you weren't her Mom," was my blunt reply before admitting, "If you want to know the truth though, we haven't done it, at least not yet that is. Not for lack of trying on my part." "I guess she must really be a virgin then, because she likes you a lot," Mrs. Lambert responded. "So you're not the type that kisses and tells? Not going to run home and tell everybody how you fucked your girlfriend's mother?" "Not my style," I said, because while I did have a dear friend that we shared everything with, telling the world my exploits wasn't my thing, especially since I had so few of them to begin with. "In that case, you deserve a reward for being to gallant," Mrs. Lambert declared, and after she polished off her hot dog and washed it down with soda she led me back to the car. After checking on her little girl she looked around and proceeded to lead me back to the woods at the rear of the drive-in. "Hard and fast," Mary declared after finding my already hard and ready, and when she dropped her shorts and bent over while standing on a little rise in the ground, I discovered that our heights were now perfect. Like the captain at the helm of a ship, I stood there with my hands on her skinny lips while taking her from the rear. She wanted hard and fast and I tried to give it to her that way, even though I suspect it could never get too hard or fast for her. This was the way she liked it, I would learn over time. Very little foreplay and no lovey-dovey syrupy stuff either. She would rather have rough sex that anything approaching lovemaking. She was demanding and liked things her way. Maybe that was what scared off her husband but I wasn't going to marry her, I just wanted to fuck her. I got her to cum again back in the woods, although the real winners were the bugs that ate the crap out of us in the brief time we were bare-assed back there, but it was worth it for me and must have been good for her too because after we got back to the car to catch the rest of the third movie Mrs. Lambert had her hand on my lap. "In the mood for another go?" she asked, and while the idea appealed to me I sensed from whatever could be made out of what we had watched of 'Grand Theft Auto' that the end was near and sure enough, a few minutes later the screen went blank and the lights lit up the lot. "Oh well," Mrs. Lambert said. "Let's get the birthday girl home." The birthday girl, now 18 years and one day old, was still out cold when we got to the Lambert residence and while we felt guilty to have to wake her up there was little choice. Anybody who ever tried to herd a drunk up stairs in into a house knows what a chore that is, and Janice added another challenge. "What? Where? We going to the movies?" was her first speech as we hauled her out of the back seat, and her next announcement was, "Don't feel good." With that Janice unloaded a half of a cake and a couple quarts of beer onto her lawn and her sneakers, so after she was done throwing up I felt obligated to help her Mom get her in the house and to bed. To my surprise when we got her to the bed I was enlisted to help undress her, and after we stripped her down I got to see Janice totally naked for the first time. "Not a bad body," Mrs. Lambert opined as she poked her daughter in the ribs. "If she ever loses the baby fat she would look incredible." "She's cute," I agreed as we examined the girl like she was a piece of steak. "I don't know where she got those from though," she added while pointing to her breasts which looked enormous even with her on her back. "Sure as hell not from me, but I know where she got that from." "That" referred to Janice's pubic hair which filled the delta between her thighs, and while I had felt it I had never seen it before. "I like it," I said, revealing a bit of myself to Mrs. Lambert, and after I did she pointed to the swirl of hair under Janice's arm and asked me whether I had anything to do with that, and I sheepishly pleaded guilty. "I suspected as much because after she started going out with you I figured she would go back to shaving again but she didn't." "Kind of like her the way she is." "Don't apologize," she had after we put a sheet over Janice and left the room. "Nothing wrong with that." "Guess I better get going," I said out in the hall. "Does that mean if I let the hair under my arms grow you'd stop by to see me some time?" Mrs. Lambert asked with a giggle. "Hey uh - I mean - well," I stuttered, wanting to say I didn't care if she shaved or not if I could have the kind of fun that night had been full off. "How are you going to get home?" Mrs. Lambert asked, and I suddenly remembered that I had a dead van outside. "Oh yeah. Well, it's not that far," I reasoned, figuring that it might be about 2 miles, but Mrs. Lambert had a better idea. "Stay here," she suggested. "I'll take you home in the morning. You could call home and tell your folks but..." It was almost 2 in the morning so a phone call would be scarier than my absence which probably wasn't even noticed since I kept late hours. "You have an extra bedroom?" I asked, and after Janice's Mom shook her head I suggested I sleep on the couch or something. "No," she said while pointing to a room with a big bed that had to be hers. "I already know you can fuck in a car and in the woods, but I want to find out if you can make me cum in a bed. Okay?" The answer was obvious, but before bedtime I was told it was time to for us to take a shower because we were very fragrant with the scent of sweat and sex. "Save water," I was told after I stripped down and Mrs. Lambert threw my clothes behind the hamper and joined me behind the curtain. "I forgot to lock the door," Mrs. Lambert informed me but when I offered to home out and fix that she shook her head and held onto me. "If Janice comes in just stay quiet." We lathered each other up and as Mary scrubbed my cock it swelled in her hand. She commented that she must be good at washing if I could get it up after seeing her in the light. "I like the way you look," I said honestly and when she cast a dubious glance I me I insisted it was true and added the obvious. "Not saying it just to get in your pants or anything." "Guess not, not at this point," she admitted after letting go of my cock so she could scrub my balls. It was true. I had just seen my girlfriend naked for the first time, and Mrs. Lambert was about three times her age. I could see the flaws and signs of age clearly in the harsh bathroom lighting; the little drooping breasts, her almost painfully slender frame and her slightly soft stomach but I didn't care because I really liked the woman. Okay, I did love those incredible auroelas that were almost her entire breasts, and her bush was incredibly soft and thick too, but she was fun to be around. Like one of the guys almost, only with female parts, and I had enjoyed talking with her even without the sex. Oh yes - the sex. We almost had it in the shower but suddenly we heard some bumping outside the curtain. It was Janice making like a pool ball ricocheting from wall to wall on her way to the toilet. "You okay honey?" Mrs. Lambert asked as she peeked out at her daughter. "I think I'm drunk," Janice said who took a loud piss before flushing and staggering out and back to bed, leaving us to briefly deal with the sudden change of water temperature. "Feeling guilty?" Mrs. Lambert asked as we rinsed off. "Kinda," I admitted. "Me too," she said. "Know what's a good cure for the guilts?" "Beer?" I suggested. "That too but fucking is better. Fucking, unless you would rather just... oooh!" she cried out when I put my hand in her wet bush. "Let's get dried off." We stepped out of the shower and after hurriedly drying raced into her bedroom and after she made sure the door was locked proceeded to jump into my arms like we were lovers separated by decades instead of seconds. I had thought she was an animal before but behind that locked door she was positively feral, scratching and clawing and chewing on my lower lip while whispering the dirtiest stuff I ever heard coming from a woman. I didn't know what to make of it but Mrs. Lambert made it clear she didn't want me to stand there meekly and take what she was giving, she wanted to be on the receiving end. "Come on Jeremy, don't be a fucking pussy," she snarled into my ear while grabbing my nuts in her fist. "I like it rough. Don't treat me like I'm breakable because I'm not. I bend but don't break, so make up your mind. Are you a boy or a man?" She was trying to get my goat, and she did to an extent. Enough so that I grabbed her by the back of the hair and told her to shut her fucking mouth and then threw her on the bed so hard she bounced a little. I was only playing but I was afraid I might have gone too far, but by fears were groundless. "That's all you got big boy?" she said, mocking me while giving me a look that seemed to say - hey we're only playing, and then spread her legs to show me how far down the hair grew before adding. "Put my skull through the fucking headboard." Her skull ended up at the headboard by the time it was over, her legs wrapped around my butt after about four minutes of sex so rough that I was stunned at how much I enjoyed it. "Damn that was good," Mrs. Lambert sighed as we unlocked at looked up at the ceiling. "Times like this make me sorry I quit smoking." "I've got a joint in my pocket," I said but then cringed when I remembered who I was talking to. "Go get it," Mrs. Lambert said. "This is 1978 not 1878. Things have changed, and I give up. You can call me Mrs. Lambert." "Sorry," I said after realizing that I kept forgetting she was Mary. "It's okay. Besides, it adds a dirty element to this, you know?" she opined. "Like I'm a dirty old bag seducing boys, so call me Mrs. Lambert if you want - and don't Bogart that joint." "Okay," I said, choking on the smoke will passing it over. "Think about what you'll tell your grandchildren someday," Mary said as we smoked. "You can say that back in 1978 I was dating this girl with gigantic hooters and instead of doing her I ended up fucking her old lady all night while drinking and smoking dope with her." "On second thought," she concluded. "If you marry Janice and the grand-kids are mine don't tell them that." "Okay," I agreed, although there was no chance that I was going to marry Janice. "You like it in the ass Jeremy?" Mary asked as we finished the joint, and when I made a face she laughed and added, "I mean giving, not taking it you clown." "I don't know. Never did it," I told her, and then added that there was a whole lot I hadn't done and ended up telling her my life story. "I'm the third?" "Second girl actually. The only girl and me did it twice," I said without mentioning names. "I'm a girl? That sounds nice. You'd never know it because you're good. You might like anal," she suggested. "Your cock is long but not too thick so I would like it too. Let me know if you want to try it sometime and I'll do some gardening back there." "Gardening?" I asked in confusion. "Weeding the forest you know?" Mrs. Lambert explained, and even rolled over and got on all fours to show me that the hair grew right up the crack to her anus which was buried in the jungle. "Shave it so you can find the hole." "No," I said as I put my hand in the furry crack and rubbed around. "Oh that's right. You like hair," Mary said as she plopped back down. "I'm weird." "I used to get candle wax dripped on me by a guy I dated when I was young," Mrs. Lambert confessed. "That's weird, and getting dried wax out of your pubic hair is no fun either. You're weird but harmless." With that we killed the night light and went to sleep with my mind filled with that vision of Mrs. Lambert anus. I woke up with a start, not sure of where I was and feeling like I hadn't been asleep for long. That feeling was justified because only about an hour had passed. Mrs. Lambert was awake and claimed it was my fault. Let's Go To The Drive In "Your dick was poking at me," she had of the organ that was semi-erect and covered with some kind of lubricant, and as her hand slid up and down the length of my organ she asked whether I had been thinking about in while I was dreaming. "Actually I was," I admitted and then after she asked for specifics I told her I was think about her furry bottom. "Furry bottom? Tell it like it is Jeremy," she said with a smile. "I was think of your hairy asshole and what it would feel like to stick my cock in it." "That's better!" she cackled. "Although you should have embellished it more, like I want to stick my big dick up you ass." "It's not that big," I said as I tried to will it to get harder. "Bigger than my husband's," she blurted out. "Not that I gave a damn about that but not only did he turn into a one-and-done man he started sticking it into other women. I probably seem like a pig to you but I never cheated. Not once. call this making up for lost time. I confess to being a slut now." "You're not a slut," I said. "You have to be really hard," Mrs. Lambert said, and it took a second to figure out that she was referring to my cock. "It's a tiny hole and you need to be really stiff. Think I might have worn this big boy out with our three times." "Four if you could the one that ended up on your dashboard." "That's right," Mrs. Lambert said. "Have to remember to clean that up." "I did - when you went to the bathroom." "Good boy. Your Mom brought you up right." "Always had to clean up after myself," I responded, although Mom probably never thought that would include cleaning semen off of a glove compartment. "I do want to - stick my big cock into your asshole. Just give me a minute." "Take your time babe, because I could play with this all night. It's beautiful. I like circumsized ones better, and the head of yours is shaped so nicely," she said, and after a minute or so she said. "Roll over - get onto your hands and knees. That's it. Love the view." "Ahh!" I sighed as I felt Mrs. Lambert use her greased hand to play with my balls while milking my cock like I was a cow, and then when the hand that was on my balls slid up the crack of my ass my whole body shivered. "So cute. All pink and puckered like a newborn babe," Mary said as I felt her slick finger rubbing my anus, and then she said, "I'm betting nobody has ever done this to you before." "AH!" I sighed louder as I felt her finger poke into my ass. "No, I meant this," Mrs. Lambert responded and with that the rather pleasant finger left my anus, only to be followed by something else wet and even more pleasant. "OMIGOD!" I groaned when after I felt her face press into the crack of my ass, something else dipped into my puckered ring, and she of course was right about this being new. The combination of Mary's tongue poking into my asshole and her fist yanking on my cock like a savage had me hard in no time, and in fact I almost popped my load onto the sheets before managing to squirm away. The experience of kneeling behind Janice's mother while she presented her ass to me with her face in the pillow and her hands spreading her ass cheeks was so great that even before I slid my greased prong into the furry ring it would be over too soon to suit me. Her cavity was so tight and warm as I glided my dick all the way into my first ass that I tired not to look down at what I was doing, but the problem was that once I started moving in and out of Mary's ass in a steady rhythm she took her hands off her ass and got on all fours. We had gotten positioned - intentionally on Mrs. Lambert's part I would later learn - so that I could see us in the dresser's mirror despite the room only lit by a night light. We could see each other, because Mary looked up at our reflection and our eyes met. She looked so hot to me, which was strange in a way because it wasn't that flattering a position for her to me in. On her hands and knees like she was, Mrs. Lambert's breasts really became hangers, the long skinny tubes dangling down and flopping around as I thrust into her, and the harder I drilled myself into her the more they flew around. I soon leaned over and reached down and cupped the titties as my orgasm built up inside of me, and I was roughly milking her little udders as I came, finally collapsing on top of the woman after I filled her bowels with my cum. "Thanks for saving me," Mary said after we uncoupled, and when I asked her what she meant she explained. "The way my tits were flying around before you grabbed them I was slapping myself silly. They didn't always look like this. Not too long ago they stuck out straight." "I like them the way they are," I responded. "I love looking while I'm getting fucked," Mary added. "You looked so cute back there with your fuck face on while you tore my asshole up. Maybe some afternoon you can come back so we can watch ourselves again." "Really?" I said. "Sure, although you might not like it much when you're sober." "I'm not drunk," I insisted and proceeded to tell Mrs. Lambert that all she had to do was say the word and I would come back. "The word," she replied, and with that we went to sleep. I woke up as the sun came up and after I got dressed went out to the couch and made it look like I had been there all along. Good thing too because Janice woke up not long after, looking like you do when you have a night like she had. "Sorry I conked out," she mumbled. "Maybe we can have a real birthday party tonight - If you get your van fixed. Not going to go through that again." "It wasn't so bad. I had a blast," I assured her in the understatement of the decade, and after my friend got my fuck truck going I took Janice out that night. We had sex twice that night, both times in the back of the van, and that was a good thing that it was dark because otherwise Janice would have seen the bites and claw marks your mother gave me the night before. How was it? If it hadn't been for the night before I would have thought it was great, but in comparison it was just okay. Despite all of her physical advantages, her Mom was way sexier to me. Our second coupling was better than the first, even though we were in the driveway of her house, or maybe it was BECAUSE of where we were. In my mind I wondered whether Janice's Mom was watching us from inside the house, and as it turned out... "That van was rockin'," Mrs. Lambert explained the next morning when she called me on the phone. "Got me so horny that I almost came knocking, but instead I fingered myself while imaging it was me you were fucking." "That would have been interesting," I suggested, referring both to her joining us and to get to watch her playing with herself. "So, Janice is working at Price Chopper until 9 tonight," Mrs. Lambert reminded me. "So if you're interested?" Of course I was interested, not only that time put all the other times that summer that one of us called the other. It was exhausting trying to keep the Lambert ladies satisfied but I did my best. Even after I went off to college and Janice and I had broken it off, I kept meeting up with her Mom every time I came home for holidays in motels, her house and the van, and even kept it up into the next summer when it all came to a screeching halt. Janice was supposed to be working but she had gotten fired from her job for coming in late again, which only make the experience of her coming home and seeing me and her Mom in bed fucking like animals even worse. It didn't help that Janice appeared in the doorway the moment her mother was screaming something along the lines of, "Rip up my asshole with that horse cock you motherfucker!" while I had a fistful of her scalp, pulling her head back so she could see us better in the mirror. Mary didn't notice that her daughter had appeared in the doorway, and she thought I had cum when my deflating dick slipped out of her butt. She started to badger me about cumming too fast when I explained that I lost my erection when I saw Janice standing there. "Oh shit!" Mary muttered as the front door slammed. "Like she could hate me more." "Let me try to take care of it," I said, having lost interest in sex momentarily because while I wasn't seeing Janice and only considered her a friend, I couldn't imagine what she was feeling. Amazingly, after I caught up with Janice in the town park where she was crying, I did manage to make up some total BS that she actually bought a little bit. "It was my fault," I explained as I managed to get tears to form in my eyes. "I went to your house to see you because I missed you so much, and the more I talked to your Mom the more I kept thinking of you. She had a couple of drinks in here because she's so lonely too, and I guess I took advantage of her." Ridiculous to the extreme, but I guess if you want to believe something you can suspend logic, so while Janice never fully forgave her mother they did manage to co-exist after all of that. I paid the price for it all because Janice then thought that after hearing that story I still wanted to be with her, so I did feel obligated to go out with her a few times before I went back to school but the relationship petered out and then mercifully died for the last time. My affair with Mary Lambert ended then too, and while I knew that it was inevitable that it would end it still stung because she was something else. Not the most beautiful of the small circle of women I had experiences with over the years, but as far as a sex partner she was the best, not to mention that she was a funny and crazy lady. *** Mary Lambert died recently. She had married somebody around her age, retired and moved to Florida. Her new husband died not long after they went down there, proving that she was still tough to keep up with. We had kept in touch with each other, exchanging Christmas cards and more recently e-mails, and was happy that she was in good health right up to the end. Janice is married with three grown children and still lives in the town we grew up in. Occasionally our paths cross and while we're still friendly and all, I sense that whenever she sees me she remembers walking in to her Mom's bedroom and catching us going at it. As for me, when I see Janice I remember most that night at the drive-in and I suspect I always will. *** thank you for reading