5 comments/ 58136 views/ 1 favorites Ageless Desires Ch. 01 By: Lady_Silver Chapter 1: George I knew that the woman I had been living with in the last few months wasn't the same person with whom I had spent the best part of my life. This new woman had deep lines on her forehead. The eyes that I had seen dance with light and laughter were now small and distant, the mouth had hardened to a straight line. I had no idea when the foreign entity had replaced my lovely partner. I had been busy. After retirement I had been bored and restless. Doris finally tired of my constantly being "under foot" and encouraged me to take on consultant work as a private contractor. In the beginning it had been a part time job. As I took more jobs, I made more contacts. I began to get a reputation as a reliable, honest contractor who could get a job done efficiently and effectively. I was having fun. At first I took Doris with me on my trips. We used them as little vacations and saw many places we'd always wanted to visit. At some point, though, I spent more time working and less time with Doris. She decided that she'd rather stay at home than be alone on the road, so I made the trips by myself. I guess that had been about 8 months ago. On one of the trips – or after several – the strange woman took up residence in our home. I have no idea why it took me so long to notice...which is probably why she became so firmly entrenched. When I finally noticed the difference, I tried to talk with the stranger. I brought home flowers, found little gifts that had once delighted Doris, made the bed, brought her tea...the stranger remained and never spoke of where she came from. When I tried the more direct approach, I was met with a fixed glare and silence. In bed she wore flannel pajamas. She'd never done that. All our lives together we'd slept naked next to each other, deriving comfort and peace feeling the skin of the other even in our sleep. When I tried stroking her hip or placing my hand across her belly, actions that used to make her snuggle closer to me, she now turned from me and feigned sleep...or just ignored me. We hadn't made love in months. Completely unnatural. Now I sat across from the stranger and every now and then would see a glimpse of my love for the first time in many months. I watched as the conversation animated her...but she looked at me and all changed. The mouth once again became a hard line and the eyes lost the spark....and now there was sadness in them. We were having dinner with our daughter, Janet, and a friend of hers. She asked if we would mind joining her and Jay for dinner. Jay wasn't "new". They had been seeing each other for a few months, but this was the first time they had asked us out for dinner. It had taken Janet a long time to recover from the death of her husband seven years previously. She had lost herself in her children and work. The children were out of her house now and starting lives of their own. She had finally realized that work was a cold companion. Jay was the friend of a friend whom she had met at a dinner party. They had met, evidently spent hours talking, and had been seeing each other as much as their traveling schedules would allow. He was a nice boy. I sat lost in thought for a moment, then began listening to the conversation a little more closely. "Mom, what was the name of that place where you and Dad used to go when you left Scott and me with Gran?" Janet's voice brought me back to the conversation. "You know, you took us with you only that once and we were miserable." Doris paused for a moment. "Pequoi's Lake", replied Doris quietly without looking at anyone, picking up her water glass for a drink. "Okay, so satisfy my curiosity about something I've wondered about for years. What in the world was the attraction to that place. There was absolutely nothing to do there. There was no boat for the dock, no fishing poles for the lake, no people around....nothing. I think Jay and I walked forever around the lake...several times. Oh, we did skip rocks," she looked at Jay with a smile, "got quite good at it actually. You have to remind me to teach you some day. Other than that, there was nothing other than cards in the house." I looked at my plate and smiled as I took a bite of my salmon. Pequoi's Lake. The picture was vivid in my mind. Doris was beautifully naked on that dock. There was no one anywhere for miles. She had been at home with a rambunctious 3-year-old and a 6 month old for several weeks. One had been sick then the other. She hadn't been out of the house to speak of even for groceries and it had taken its toll on her. I had helped when I could, but it was one of those times that work kept me away much of the time and we had no family near to help. When Scott had finally gotten well, I called one of her sisters into service to take care of the children for a long weekend. I had heard of Pequoi from a friend who had a house there. He had offered the use of it when I wanted but warned that there wasn't much anything there but peace and quiet. From the first moment Doris had stepped into the house to see, through the full wall of glass, the view of the large deck ending at the lake front, she fell in love. She looked at me with a wicked smile, stripping slowly and sensuously right there in the living room with bags and supplies all around. She held my eyes as one article of clothing followed the other onto the floor, the sofa back...across my shoulder. When she was finished, she walked over, placed a kiss on the tip of my nose, then walked out the sliding doors onto the deck. The sun shone brightly as she held her arms up as though offering herself to her deity. Head thrown back, arms upstretched, she was my high priestess. Her breasts rose seductively, her slightly rounded belly was exposed showing its soft hardness, thighs slightly parted to reveal her inviting, warm femininity. I was enraptured. This was my mate. Mine. At that moment I felt like no man in history could be so fortunate. I made my way to her. She slowly undressed me then closed her eyes, took my hands, and took them on a tour of her body. We made love with a passion that we had missed for years. Children have a way of robbing you of that without you realizing it. We spent most of the weekend on that dock, even at night. I found that Doris was truly a moon worshipper. I had only thought she was beautiful in the sunlight. I came back to dinner and looked at Doris across the table. There was that sad look in her eyes. I didn't want it there. I wanted nothing more than to see that look of abandonment and joy I had seen on the dock. I wish I had paid a little more attention to the answer Doris gave Janet. I was a little curious about what she had said. No, on second thought, I had enjoyed my memories more. "Dad, do you remember the time Mom got so angry with you for coming home late on Christmas Eve?" "I remember." "And I remember apologizing to your dad, in front of the two of you, a few weeks later after I found out why he was late," Doris added looking directly at Janet with a flash in her eyes just short of anger. "You would do well to recall that most important part of the event." Janet held up her hands in mock surrender, laughing. "I will, I will. It's just that I've never seen you so angry." She looked to Jay, "That was the night that Scott and I decided that we *never* wanted to be on the receiving end of her wrath. It was like a force of nature." "So what's the story?" he asked me. "What made you late?" "There's not a lot to tell. Someone needed a ride and I gave it to her. It just took longer than I expected and I was late. I was late and missed some of our family traditions." I looked at Janet, "you know you *could* have saved me some of the cookies before you delivered them all. I don't think I ever got over that," I said trying to redirect the conversation. "Uh-uh," said Janet, "you don't get off with that." She put her hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "He stopped at the grocery to get some ingredients for the cookies we were baking that night. When he was pulling out of the parking lot, he noticed a woman with small children sitting in the bus shelter with suitcases next to them. He parked the car and went over to talk to the woman. I turned out that they were waiting for the bus to take them to her family's house in Preston, which was over an hour away. They had missed the bus and were going to have to wait a couple of hours for the next one. It was bitterly cold out and Dad couldn't let them stay out there waiting. The kids were little and the woman looked miserable. He had her walk with him to the pharmacy next to the bus stop to talk with the people inside who knew him, vouching for his character, then offered to take her to Preston. He got home about two and a half hours later to a wife who was livid and children who were terribly disappointed. All he told us was that he had to play Santa to three other children who wouldn't have had one otherwise. When Mom went to the pharmacy a couple of weeks later, they all asked her if they had heard anything more from the lady and her children. Mom, of course, didn't know what they were talking about and heard the whole story." When I looked at Doris, she was looking down and swiping surreptitiously at her cheeks and eyes. She kept her eyes down, grasping her napkin. After a few seconds, she seemed to take a breath, then took another sip from her water glass. She looked at Jay. "Tell me, dear, are you still traveling as much as you have been?" I detected a bit of an edge in the question. "He's traveling about as much as I am, Mom," interrupted Janet. "You know, it's really been good for us." Jay was smiling at Janet. Not just any smile. I knew the feeling behind that one. Doris had turned 60. She said that age didn't matter to her one whit and I believed her. Still there was something going on. She was almost melancholy when she looked at me. One night I sat out on the back porch reading the paper and having my evening glass of wine. The next thing I knew, Doris was sitting on a chair she'd pulled directly in front of me, studying me intently. I lowered my paper, offered her my glass, which she took. All there was to do was to sit back in my chair and wait. "I'm so sorry that I'm no longer what I once was physically. I wanted so much to stay ahead of the aging game. I just can't, well, not physically at least. My body has betrayed me no matter what I tried to do to prevent it. My skin has drooped along with my butt and boobs. The muscles are there but they're so hidden they don't seem to matter for anything other than supporting my bones." "Finish the glass," I told her, "I think you need it far more than I do." And I sat there easily and just smiled – the same smile that Jay now had that said that you love more than the world and everything in it can ever matter. Once she had finished the wine, I leaned forward, took her face in my hands and kissed every beautiful wrinkle on her face....I continued the process over the rest of her body. Beautiful woman. "What do you mean it's been good for you? "asked Doris suspiciously. "Doris, George," Jay said before Janet could answer. "I wanted all of us to have dinner together because I wanted to ask you if you had any objections to Janet and I marrying." Now wasn't that just about as old-fashioned as you can get. I liked it, though. What can I say? I'm a Dad who loves his daughter. I appreciated the consideration Jay was showing even if my daughter was over 40 and had children of legal age all her own. "None at all, Jay." Turning to Janet I said, "Are you sure? Does he make you happy?" "Happier than I've been in years. I feel complete again, Dad. I didn't think that would happen." I caressed her cheek. "Then I'm happy for you, sweetheart." "I don't think it's such a good idea, actually." The voice belonged to the stranger who used to be Doris. We were all stunned to silence. She looked sharply at Janet then at Jay. "You two have jobs that take you away from each other for weeks at a time. Who knows what will happen in that time apart. You loose touch with each other. You have no idea what the other is experiencing, thinking, feeling. In time, it becomes too much and you drift apart. Why in the world would you want to start a life together under those conditions?" Everyone was silent. "Mother," Janet said softly but firmly, "this relationship has happened very quickly. The time apart has given us breathing room. Frankly, I felt so much for Jay so quickly that it scared the hell out of me. I'm not a child, Mom. This isn't the first time I've felt love. I know what has happened between us and I also know that I'm an incredibly fortunate woman to have had it twice. Our jobs have helped us maintain a sort of equilibrium while we've ridden this roller coaster. As far as being apart, well, it works another way, too. We get to experience each other anew every time we come home. We don't take each other for granted. I get to ask him how his work is and it's not a perfunctory question. Now I get to come home from a few days on a trip and I have someone with whom I can unwind, use as a sounding board, someone to hold me and tell me how brilliant I am after spending days being professional and above it all. As for knowing what the other is thinking, feeling, and experiencing...well, there are these wonderful inventions called telephones and," she lowered her eyes and I saw that familiar wicked smile that had graced her mothers face many times, "phone sex can be absolutely incredible. I nearly choked on my wine and Doris sat up like she had been shot. Jay turned beet red but had a grin so big that it was a wonder it fit on his face. There was nothing else to do in that situation but what it called for – I laughed. Hard. Lord, how I laughed. I put my arms around my daughter and gave her a big kiss on the cheek. "Spoken like a true daughter of your mother," I said with great appreciation, "and don't let her make you think anything differently." Doris had relaxed a bit and looked thoughtfully at another place in the room – maybe another place in time by the look on her face. Finally, she looked back at Janet, then at Jay. "Are you two certain about this?" Jay took Doris' hand. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want your daughter and will do all I can to help her have what she wants in life. In her, I've found the friend and companion I've always looked for. I've never married for a good reason – I was waiting for Janet." Doris nodded her head. "All right, then." Jay smiled and kissed her. At home later, I prepared for bed while Doris was in the bathroom doing the same. She was quiet all the way home, not saying a word. I tried to talk about Janet and Jay, but she said nothing. I looked over at her a few times, watching her look out the side window. I recalled her comments about the travel. There was definitely something there. As I put on my robe and tied the belt, I suddenly realized that I was the biggest idiot to walk the earth. How in the world can I have lived with Doris for all this time and not see it? How could I have been so incredibly blind? I went to the bathroom door and watched Doris in her ritual of spraying rose water on her face then rubbing lotion into her face and neck. I looked at her face, her body...yes, she had gotten a little wider over the years and her breasts were larger and less firm than they were 40 years ago. Who of us isn't touched by time? I felt my body react. She was still so desirable – all that I would ever want or need. I watched the movements that I had watched for years but had missed for the last several months. The familiarity had bred neglect...just at a time when it was so important to be attentive. Hell, it was always a time to be attentive. What was it that Janet had said? We don't take each other for granted? Not only had I been gone, but I had taken my best friend for granted. I had neglected her. Worse, I tried to make up without acknowledging my offense. I was so self absorbed that I hadn't even taken time to realize what the offense was. And it was so simple...yet devastating to one who loved. I saw her steal a glance at me leaning in the doorway with my arms crossed. It was only a brief look, then back to her own face in the mirror. "I've missed you," I said. "The worst part is that it's been my own fault that I've missed you. You've been here and I've not...in any way." She continued rubbing the lotion into her face without looking at me. "During dinner tonight I remembered so many things...what you looked like naked in the moonlight, how you apologized to me after your apology in front of the children, how much I wanted you when you worried at your ability to turn me on after 60." I was behind her now and put my hands on her hips. Her hands had stopped moving and were on her cheeks. "Doris, I'm so sorry I've not let you know what you are to me." I moved my hand so that the back of it caressed her face. "This wonderful face, so expressive – so many emotions I've seen on it over the years. Emotions that were a part of what made my life so worth living. I never knew what I would see, but always there was life and vitality that made me want to see more." I moved my hands to her belly and stroked her. I always loved the way it felt. "You carried and nurtured our children, our love, here – inside you. What a wonderful gift. You also comforted me here and here," I moved my hands to her breasts. "Do you now how much I love your breasts?" I saw her look at me with raised eyebrow. "No, dear, not like most men with a breast fetish. You know me better than that." I murmured with a smile looking into her eyes in the mirror. She smiled back...with her eyes as well as that lovely mouth. "Hey, don't get me wrong, they taste wonderful... and I do love the sound you make when I do this." I gently squeezed her breast and brushed my fingers across the nipple. I love that low, rumbling sound of pleasure. My hand moved back down her stomach to between her legs. "Ah and here – the place of true wonder. The place from which our children came into the world and," I stroked her cleft through her pajamas, "my haven." I moved my hand beneath her pajama bottoms and ran my fingers through the course curls I felt there. The hair was a little more sparse than what it had once been, but it always felt good. My finger dipped deeper until it ran along the smooth, slick slit of her lower lips. Doris's head fell back against my shoulder and she moved her legs apart slightly giving me freer access to her. My other hand began a journey up her belly. The softness of it, the roundness. She was my Mother Earth, soft and sensual. I continued up to those magnificent breasts, so heavy and pliable in my hand. I felt her hardened nipple and rubbed it against the palm of my hand. At the sound of her deepening breath, I took it between my fingers and pulled. Doris moaned from deep within her body. I felt the wetness increase between her legs and used that to moisten the sensitive bud at the top of her slit. I looked at her reflexion in the mirror. Eyes closed, she leaned against me, open to me, trusting. I kissed the side of her neck and let my tongue trace a line to the back of her ear where I sucked the soft, wrinkled skin. I inhaled her scent and continued my feast on her neck and throat. I felt her push back then undulate lightly against the hardness that was pressed into her bottom. It was my turn to moan and I pushed slightly back against her. She groaned in protest when I stopped my ministrations and moved my hands to her shoulders. I turned her, took her hands, and led her to our bed. At the edge I stopped and began unbuttoning her top. I pushed the fabric over her shoulders and down her arms, then stood back to look at her torso. What an incredibly lucky man I was. With the palm of my hand I felt the soft skin of her chest. I leaned forward and kissed the wrinkling skin there and continued down between her breasts – kissing, licking, inhaling. I pulled back and looked into her eyes. Taking her face in my hands I pulled her forward to a kiss. She opened her mouth to taste me for the first time in months. She breathed in my exhalation and put her arms around me. I was home. Oh, how I had missed her. Our mouths began tasting, teasing each other. We pulled back, looked into each other's eyes then would taste again. Ageless Desires Ch. 02 Chapter 2 – Doris At what point had I missed something so obvious...so basic? How was it that my own daughter had been so much smarter than I had about a relationship? Hadn't I been living with this man for over 40 years? So why was I sitting in this car silently looking out the window when the man I loved more than my next breath was sitting less than three feet from me – wanting me to let him know what had happened to the woman he knew? Because I had no clue what to say to him, that's why. Simple. Yeah, right. I had started it...then had pouted when it turned in a direction that I didn't like. When he started having a good time, rather than talk to him, support him, let him know what I was seeing and feeling, I had withdrawn, withheld, and played games. Stupid. I had behaved like a silly teenage girl rather than a mature woman. Way mature. Is that it? Was I regressing because I was tired of being a grown up? Oh, goodie. I have stepped beyond teenage girl and to asking questions all night long...to myself...without answering a thing. That's always a good way to work things out. I know I did the right thing when I suggested George offer himself as a consultant to a friend who called, telling him about the problems they were having with the systems in their company. George hesitated, for quite a while. He wanted to spend time with me. He had worked hard all our lives together – overtime, traveling, never taking all the allotted vacation time. I knew he was at loose ends, though, not really happy, and talked him into it by telling him he was under foot. We could have it both ways, I told him. He could take consulting jobs and we could travel together and see the country. I wanted to do some traveling, too, and this could be a way to have it all. It was a very good idea in theory. Then he started getting more jobs, started working more. He was having the time of his life. Rather than doing it all because he *had* to, as he had all his working life, he was now doing something because he *wanted* to. There was no pressure. I found myself alone in the cities we had come to explore together. It wasn't as much fun alone. He was on his own trip...without me...and enjoying himself. So instead of talking with him about it, I withdrew. I told him that rather than stay in a strange city by myself, I would rather stay at home. I thought making that statement would make him see what I was feeling and cut back on time he spent on the jobs. I was wrong...in so many ways. As weeks passed, rather than seeing that he didn't have a clue as to how I was being affected and confronting him with it honestly, I withdrew further from him. I punished him by denying myself. I was hurt – deeply. I wanted him to want me...to spend the time with me that he had said that he wanted...to get to know one another again...to share with each other without distractions. Hell, who was I kidding? I wanted him to prove to me that he really loved and wanted me. That he'd still want this old woman who had crept in stealthily and kidnapped the young body that still lived in my mind. Instead, I had been lonely sleeping in the same bed with him for the last 8 months. Sleeping in flannel pajamas, for god's sake. I hated pajamas! Silly old woman. Hadn't he done that, though? Stepped in and proved that he desired me still, that is. I worked up the courage one night after my 60th birthday and finally talked to him about my fears. It scared the hell out of me, but I had to know. I fiddled and fretted all evening long. George sat out on the patio with his wine and paper. Okay, it was now or never. I walked out, moved a chair directly in front of him and sat determinedly in it. He lowered his paper then, with only a brief look at me, handed me his almost full glass of wine. It was with great restraint that I didn't inhale the entire contents. Finally I looked at him, took a deep breath, and decided to jump right in. "I'm so sorry that I'm no longer what I once was physically. I wanted so much to stay ahead of the aging game. I just can't, well, not physically at least. My body has betrayed me no matter what I tried to do to prevent it. My skin has drooped along with my butt and boobs. The muscles are there but they're so hidden they don't seem to matter for anything other than supporting my bones." All he said in response was, "Finish the wine, I think you need it more than I do." All that and "finish the wine"? Jesus! And he was smiling! I am capable of exhibiting a little intelligence every once in a while. It did register on my feeble brain that it wasn't just any smile. No. It was that special smile – not tolerant, not indulging. It was the one that was amused, but in the way that said that he was happy I reminded him, once in a while, that life was more interesting when I tipped his world a little off balance. I drank the rest of the wine. He took it from me, then began to remind me that I had made the smartest decision in my life when I accepted the proposal from this most remarkable man so many years before. I've still yet to meet his equal. He took my face in his hands and kissed my forehead, the crow's feet around my eyes, the dimples that had somewhere in time past become "laugh lines", the jowls which used to be a strong jaw line....my mouth. He didn't just kiss my mouth. He made love to it...tasted it...savored it. His kisses continued down my neck, taking the loose skin lightly between his teeth and nibbling sensuously. I was turning into the proverbial pool of jelly. I so loved my neck to be kissed and tasted, but he had never done it like this. He didn't stop there. My clothes seemed to magically disappear as he descended further. The skin on my chest had gotten so much, ummmm, "softer" over the years. He rubbed his cheeks against it, smiling and murmuring words of endearment as he placed light kisses all over. His journey continued – my breasts, stomach, hips, thighs. He left no wrinkle unkissed. No sag untouched -- lovingly, gently -- I would even have to say, almost reverently. He made love to me slowly, completely, and without restraint right there on the patio, as though we were in the first stages of love and lust rather than in the twilight of it – okay, maybe only late afternoon instead of twilight. That day, for the first time, I realized that the young have no idea how to truly make love. Well, to be honest, a lot of older people don't either if they've never experienced a true appreciation of their partner...in every way. George certainly showed his appreciation for me. I was completely useless for the rest of the evening...and smiled like an idiot for days. Just how many hoops did I want him to jump through to prove himself to me? Good lord, woman, just how self-centered can one be? How in the world could I ever dismiss that evening so? Disgraceful! I walked through the open area of our home toward our bedroom while George began the nightly ritual of preparing the house for nights' rest. I never said a word. I still didn't know what to say. Janet and Jay had reminded me so much of what I had cruelly denied over the last few months and I didn't know how to begin to heal the hurt I had caused. Janet and Jay. There's not much worse for a parent than to see their child in the pain that Janet had endured 7 years ago. She had been deeply in love with Nick. They were as much in love as George and I were. We wanted that for our children – to find the happiness that we knew. Then the stupid, senseless accident. They hadn't even been able to say goodbye to each other, not really. He had been in a coma when she made the decision to remove life support. The children had been by her side and supported her decision. To have to let go in such a way has to be one of the most difficult things to do to someone who is so much a part of you. I had wanted so badly to help take away her pain, but knew it was her pain to bear, assimilate, then go on, not mine. Then Jay came along. How many things do we learn from our children? We project so many of our own fears on them and sometimes, if we're extremely lucky, it doesn't take – they turn them back to us and make us accept the responsibility for them ourselves. As we should. Janet had given me the gift of doing exactly that tonight. "You two have jobs that take you away from each other for weeks at a time. Who knows what will happen in that time apart. You loose touch with each other. You have no idea what the other is experiencing, thinking, feeling. In time, it becomes too much and you drift apart. Why in the world would you want to start a life together under those conditions?" The silence was almost deafening. "Mother," Janet said softly but firmly, "this relationship has happened very quickly. The time apart has given us breathing room. Frankly, I felt so much for Jay so quickly that it scared the hell out of me. I'm not a child, Mom. This isn't the first time I've felt love. I know what has happened between us and I also know that I'm an incredibly fortunate woman to have had it twice. Our jobs have helped us maintain a sort of equilibrium while we've ridden this roller coaster. As far as being apart, well, it works another way, too. We get to experience each other anew every time we come home. We don't take each other for granted. I get to ask him how his work is and it's not a perfunctory question. Now I get to come home from a few days on a trip and I have someone with whom I can unwind, use as a sounding board, someone to hold me and tell me how brilliant I am after spending days being professional and above it all. As for knowing what the other is thinking, feeling, and experiencing...well, there are these wonderful inventions called telephones and," she lowered her eyes and I saw that familiar wicked smile that I believe I have used a time or two, "phone sex can be absolutely incredible. Phone sex indeed. Cheeky child. Hmmm, maybe I had been missing out on a lot more than I knew. I think I may still have a lot to learn in a few areas. I walked into the large closet just past the bathroom vanity to dress for bed. Dress for bed? When would I stop doing that? I stood naked in front of the full-length mirror at the back of the closet. Lovely. There was that mature, good-natured, matronly grandmother standing there again. No, I had nothing against her really, but, with the way my thoughts were going and what I was feeling, I had expected to see the sensuous, sexy woman who still craved the feel of her husband's hands on her body. The woman who loved to dance naked outdoors, bathing in the moonlight. Who felt the tingle between her legs and tightening of her nipples when she thought of how her husband felt hard inside her. Who wanted to explode in orgasm as she felt his balls spasm against her, hear his groan at the same time as she felt his warm release against her womb. I shook my head. Mature, good-natured, matronly grandmothers don't feel that or think things like that, do they? Oh, hell, yes, they do! Instead of wrapping my robe around my naked body, I took the flannel pajamas from the hook. I had to talk with George before I just climbed into bed naked as I used to. We had to talk. I had to apologize – let him know how sorry I was for playing such games. Mature, good-natured, matronly grandmothers do things like that...I think someone put it in a job description somewhere. I would do good to remember that. I would do good to remember that. That was very close to what I had said to Janet tonight. I walked to the vanity and sink to begin my nightly ritual. I can't make 'em go away, but at least I can make those wrinkles soft. Oh, this is getting really obsessive. Silly woman. They're not all that bad, you know. I looked at myself critically. Time for reality. It wasn't as bad as I was making it out. I loved my hair. I'd always hoped that it would be the beautiful white that my grandmother and great-grandmother had had. It was. And those lines and loose skin. Big deal...okay, I lie. It was a bit of a deal to me, but I'd just have to get over it. There wasn't anything that I could do about that. The eyes still held mischief...well, they did when I wasn't being a bitch...which was, unfortunately, all too often lately. And when I smiled, mine looked so much better than the no-lipped, straight line of "the bitch's" mouth. I had really made myself incredibly unattractive in so many ways lately. Okay, so how was I going to make it up to George? I kept a close eye on myself as I cleaned, lotioned...and thought. "You would do well to recall that most important part of the event." We didn't mention the rest of that Christmas story to Janet. It was none of her business, really. It belonged to me and George. I fell in love with him all over again that Christmas...or a couple of weeks after Christmas. I had been deeply ashamed when the pharmacist and clerk in the drug store had asked about the woman and her children whom George had helped. He had asked them to call me to let me know he was going to be late. They had. I had been miffed that he was going to be late for our traditional Christmas Eve and didn't bother to ask him details. Damn, would I ever learn to get rid of that stupid stubborn streak? He had driven in the snow for over two hours so that a woman, tired and alone with her three children, could be with someone who cared for them rather than sit in the cold at all hours of Christmas Eve at the mercy of uncertain bus schedules. I went home that night after I found out the whole story and waited for George. The children had plans of their own but I refused to let them leave until he came home and I could apologize to him in front of them. It was important to do that. I had chastised him in front of them, I would apologize in the same way. After telling the children what their father had done and apologized to him, I was gratified to see their reaction. They thought their father was the coolest Santa Claus in the world that night. After they had left with their friends, I showed Santa what Mrs. Claus thought of him as well, in no uncertain terms....or gestures. That night Santa learned that his 'south pole' could get extremely warm and enjoy it immensely. I had just sprayed rose water on my face and was starting with the lotion when I noticed George leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. I looked briefly at him then back to my own reflection, not knowing what to say. My stomach took a nervous dive. My mouth was suddenly dry and my throat tightened. He was just standing there looking at me. He deserved so much more from me than I had given and I didn't know how to begin to make amends. "I've missed you," he said. "The worst part is that it's been my own fault that I've missed you. You've been here and I've not...in any way." He was saying it. Those words that, up until tonight, I had wanted to hear. Now, though, it wasn't necessary. He owed me no apologies. He continued, chipping at the ice I'd sheathed myself in -- that impenetrable barrier I'd formed between us. What I couldn't find the words to do, he was determined to accomplish in his own way. "During dinner tonight I remembered so many things...what you looked like naked in the moonlight, how you apologized to me after your apology in front of the children, how much I wanted you when you worried at your ability to turn me on after 60." I should have known that after all these years, our thoughts still moved as one. It continued to amaze me, though. He moved behind me and I felt his hands on my hips. Oh, lord, how that simple gesture made my stomach flutter. "Doris, I'm so sorry I've not let you know what you are to me." He stroked my face gently with the back of his hand. The thaw had definitely started. "This wonderful face, so expressive – so many emotions I've seen on it over the years. Emotions that were a part of what made my life so worth living. I never knew what I would see, but always there was life and vitality that made me want to see more." God, the man was good. I had never thought...but he wasn't finished. His hands drifted down my sides, lightly caressing them, on their way to my belly, where he moved them gently up and down, around. Feeling all of me. I've always loved the way it feels when he does that. I was sure there was a puddle of water at my feet. Melted ice can make such a mess. "You carried and nurtured our children, our love, here – inside you. What a wonderful gift. You also comforted me here...and here," I felt his hands move to my breasts. Oh, my god. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my knees from buckling. My breasts were quite sensitive and I had so missed his hands on them. "Do you now how much I love your breasts?" My love, to whom are you directing that question? Do I know? Ummm, yes. I do. "No, dear, not like most men with a breast fetish. You know me better than that." I looked at him in the mirror and smiled indulgently. Of course, my darling, if you say so. "Hey, don't get me wrong, they taste wonderful... and I do love the sound you make when I do this." He gently squeezed my breasts and brushed his fingers across the nipples. I couldn't stop the moan of pleasure even if I had wanted to. I had almost forgotten how absolutely wonderful it felt to have him do that to me rather than my own hand performing the motions. His hand moved down my stomach to between my legs. I felt the moisture increase immediately, preparing for what I hoped was to come...had better come or he was going to see a side of me he hadn't seen in a very long time. "Ah and here – the place of true wonder. The place from which our children came into the world and," I felt his fingers lightly stroke the sensitive area between my legs, "My haven." It was so hard to listen to his words. The sensations were blocking all other senses, though I tried to concentrate on what he was saying. So sweet. What a wonderful, lovely man. Can anyone else in the world possibly know this kind of love? His hands crept beneath the pajama bottom. Thank goodness I had on no underwear. His fingers teased the hair on my mound then, oh, so slowly, dipped deeper until it ran along the smooth, slick slit of my lower lips. Oh, god in heaven, I had missed this feeling. All I wanted to do was have him hold me and continue. I let him support my weight against him and moved my legs further apart, begging him with my actions to continue further. While one hand was reminding me that masturbation was a game best played with fingers other than my own, his other hand began a journey up my belly, taking time to make love to every inch of skin with his fingertips. Ever so slowly he traced up my rib cage then stroked around my breasts until he held their fullness in his palm, weighing them, experiencing them. When he finally reached my nipple, rubbed it in his palm then pulled on its hardness, it was almost more than I could stand. I wanted nothing more at that moment than for him to plunge his fingers inside me and never stop while he pulled the hard tips of my breasts. I knew I was wetter than I had been in a very long time. Then he touched my clit. The rest of the world ceased to exist. I was now totally in a sexual, sensual world. He was at my neck again and this time, with the combined activities of both hands I began that extraordinary climb toward climax -- quickly. Then he stopped. I wanted to scream, but could only manage a groan of protest. He led me to our bed. I was a sexual puppet. He could do anything and I could only allow it. He removed the ugly flannel from my top. He looked at me. Touched me. Loved me so gently and sweetly. Oh, how can I begin to describe the fullness and ecstasy that one can experience when there is the combined pleasure of flesh and soul? When he kissed me, I breathed in as he exhaled. I wanted all of him inside me. I put my arms around him – my soul, my heart...my home.