62 comments/ 34355 views/ 14 favorites Why Did I Do This? Ch. 02 By: Tim413413 This a continuation of madneuron1234's 2010 story, "Why Did I Do This?" It was madneuron's only Literotica story. That is too bad because, IMHO, it was a very good story. I have emailed him/her, but, after nearly five years, I suspect the email address in Literotica's system is no longer valid. In any event, I have not heard from him/her so I am going ahead with the outline I started some time ago. One of the surprising things about the original story is its relatively low score -- 3.56 the last time I checked. I read all of the original's comments, and it appears some of the commenters are REALLY turned off by cheating wife stories. Many (all?) of them 1-bombed the original story. My advice: IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHEATING WIFE STORIES, STOP READING THEM! This is a cheating wife story. You should first read the original. This chapter has explicit sex. I hope those of you who read on enjoy my modest attempt to score better than I did with my Chapters 2 and 3 of Payson's original "Lake Powell." "Why Did I Do This?" - Chapter 2 I have been told that my previous story did not follow the normal Literotica "format." Accordingly, I am going to spell out some of the things I should have included in my original story. I only mentioned two players -- my husband, Jay Williams, who was and still is age 42. The other was my college freshman lover, Ted Ogilvie, who was18 at the beginning of the story and is now 19. I never introduced myself. I am Christina (Tina) Williams and I was, and still am, 40 years old. My two children are James who will be 17 in June, and Tessa who will be 13 in July. There is at least one more person I will introduce when she makes her first appearance. I mentioned, in my original story, my relationship with Ted began about six months ago. That should have given you a clue that my extra-marital activities have continued during the intervening six months. They have. All my encounters have been with Ted, in his apartment. Ted worked as a cook at Max's Diner which is next door to Ted's apartment. Ted's apartment was in an older home that had been split into five apartments. Since it was not a typical apartment complex with a parking lot, I had to park my one-year-old silver BMW SUV on the street. University Boulevard is four-laned, with additional room for parallel parking on both sides of the street. I could normally find a parking place when I arrived at Ted's between 11:30-12:00. Ted generally worked at Max's two or three weekday afternoons, into the early evening. He would also work one of the weekend days from morning to mid-afternoon. I worked part-time at the university library on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Ted's class schedule had him out of class by 11:00 on Tuesday and Thursday. Convenient, eh? That's how things were set up on last November 2nd when we had our first lunch and our first very exciting sex session in his apartment. Well, to make a long story a bit shorter, we met virtually every available Tuesday and about half of the available Thursdays. I say "available" because Ted and my kids had Thanksgiving break, holiday/semester break, and spring break. Ted flew home Thanksgiving eve and returned Saturday night. He also flew home for two weeks around Christmas. Additionally, I occasionally worked a Tuesday or Thursday at the library, and, even less frequently, one or both of the kids' activities caused me to miss a "Ted day." Now, here we are nearing May and school will soon be out for the summer. Ted plans to work at Max's and take a couple of summer school classes. My part-time library job will continue with my same schedule during the summer. I can take unpaid time off for a family vacation. Ted arranged his summer school class schedule so we could continue our Tuesday and Thursday trysts. We still had an occasional lunch in his apartment, but we preferred to use our time to have sex. Jay had gotten snipped after Tessa was born, so I had to be careful with Ted so I wouldn't get pregnant. Ted and I tried using a diaphragm, but he didn't like the slight taste of the spermicide when he ate my pussy. Neither of us liked the feel of condoms, but he kept a supply in case we really needed to fuck when I might be fertile. We settled into a routine: When I might be fertile, I got him off in my mouth and ass. Yes, I had given Ted my virgin ass. I really worked on my deep throating skills. After lots of practice, watching porn movies, and reading about it, I was able to get the job done. Ted, during my fertile time, would eat and finger me to several great orgasms. When I was not fertile, we would fuck like bunnies. Life was good. I had sex with Ted one or two days a week and I was a dutiful stay-at-home mom the rest of the time. I was really able to separate my two lives without giving my other life away when I was home. My sex with my husband, Jay, became a little more frequent and we even tried few new positions. I had to remember not to deep throat him and continue to deny him my ass -- the very few times he asked. Life at home was wonderful. We celebrated Jay's and the kids' birthdays over the summer, and we were able to take a two-week family vacation at the beach. A new school year began. James continued his assault on us to buy him a car. Part of his logic was how uncool it was to have his mom drive him to and from school; the only thing less cool would be riding the bus. We could afford to get him a car, but we were afraid he would spend too much time driving around and his grades would suffer. We did allow him to use one of our cars for Friday and Saturday night dates. He did not have a steady girl, but he was popular enough to get more than his share of dates. That changed when he met Amy O'Byrne. Her dad had transferred from Denver over the summer so she showed up, as a Junior, on the first day of class. After school started, she got the lay of the land, had a few dates, and then latched on to James. He brought her to meet us, and she was a doll. Additionally, she seemed to be very nice. Another strong point for James was Amy had a car. Before long, Amy started driving James and Tessa to and from school a few days a week. James explained that Amy had a weird school schedule because she had taken two years of German in Denver, and our high school did not offer German. Neither did any of the nearby high schools. A high school counselor made arrangements with the university so Amy could take the next two levels of German. The foreign languages building was quite a way from the library, and, since she did not need the library, I never saw her on campus. *****/***** AMY It was so cool I was able to finish my third and fourth years of German at the university. The students there were no more advanced than I was. The only drawback was I had to go to summer school next summer to earn enough credits to graduate the following spring. But that was a small price to pay to get my four years of German. My university classes were from 12:30 until 2:00 on Tuesday and Thursday. I had been to James's house enough times, and had gone on plenty of dates with him so I knew his mother drove a silver BMW SUV. I began to notice a very similar car on virtually every Tuesday and some Thursdays when I drove to and from the university on University Boulevard. I decided not to ask James about it, but the next time he drove his mom's car on one of our dates, I memorized the license plate number and later wrote it on a small piece of paper and tucked it safely away in my purse. Sure enough, the SUV was parked on University the next Tuesday and the license plate number matched. It was parked there when I drove by at 12:10 and again at 2:15. It wasn't there on Thursday, but it was there the following Tuesday and Thursday. I decided it was time to tell James. He, of course, did not believe me at first. I told him to write down the license plate number, and we would play detective the following week. We both cut the appropriate classes the next Tuesday. I borrowed a girlfriend's car and James and I headed for University Boulevard. We identified Mrs. Williams's car and parked several spaces behind it, knowing she would be driving away from us. Sure enough, she came out of an older house, got in her car, and drove away. James was sick. We decided not to skip class on Thursday, but I saw her car again on Thursday. I called James and told him. He said he was going to talk to his dad over the weekend. We went out Friday night and he told me he was going to tell Tessa before he talked with his dad I questioned the wisdom of telling a thirteen-year-old about her mother's cheating, but James was adamant, telling me Tessa with "wise beyond her years." *****/***** JAMES I was waiting for an opportunity to discuss Mom's apparent infidelity with Tessa. Dad had gone to the golf club for a 10:00 tee time. Mom went to do the grocery shopping immediately after lunch. I had sworn Tessa to secrecy and told her the chronology of Amy's and my discoveries. Tessa immediately said, "What a slut!" I reminded Tessa that we didn't know what Mom was doing, but I was planning on telling Dad before the weekend was over. Tessa insisted on being with me when I talked with Dad. I reminded her we could not let Dad know anything was up before we talked with him. The same with Mom. Especially Mom! I told Tessa I would do all the talking; then we would see what Dad's reaction was. Mom came home before Dad did. Rats! Sunday afternoon, Dad was mowing the grass when Mom said she was headed for Sam's Club, and asked if we needed anything. I acted like I normally would and said, "Yeah, I need another case of Corona." Mom nodded an 'okay' and headed for the car. As soon as she was gone, I grabbed a beer for Dad. Tessa and I went out to the deck, and I walked out to Dad, offering the beer to him. He set the mower to idle, gave me a funny look, and said, "Thanks." I asked him if he could take a break so Tessa and I could talk to him. He gave me another funny look, and we headed for the shaded deck where Tessa was waiting for us. I decided there was no sense beating around the bush, so I paraphrased the line from George Clooney's 'daughter' in the movie "The Descendents." I simply said, "Dad, Mom is cheating on you." *****/***** JAY I didn't know what to say. James is a bright kid, and I had never doubted anything, within reason, he told me. I don't know if I was in shock, but my mind would not focus. I finally asked, "What? Why? Are you sure?" He told me what Amy had seen before she got him involved. Then he told me what he and Amy had discovered. He had obviously given this some thought because he had everything laid out logically and in chronological order. Tessa kept interjecting, until James finally told her, "You just found out about this yesterday, so let me handle it." I asked James if he had the apartment address. He said he didn't, but it was on the south side of Max's Diner on University. I told the kids not to say anything to Tina because I needed to think about the situation before I did anything. I sent James on an internet mission. I wanted him to get the diner's address for me. I had no idea if the obvious reason for her SUV being there was the real reason. I loved Tina so much, but I didn't know what I would do if she cheating. I ruled out confronting her. I didn't have much information, and I thought it highly unlikely she would break down and confess. Additionally, given enough time, she could come up with a reasonable explanation. I wanted more information before I thought about taking any action. Maybe I was just postponing the unpleasant, inevitable end to my marriage. I finished my beer, finished mowing the yard, showered, and put on clean clothes. My mind, of course, could not stop playing out all kinds of scenarios regarding Tina and her lover. Or lovers. We got through the rest of the day; everyone acting like nothing different had been going on. I took a sleeping pill. I seldom do that, but I knew I was otherwise in for a rough night. I went online when I got to work Monday morning. I found ABC Investigations was near and I gave them a call. "They" turned out to be "him," and he answered the phone. I introduced myself and explained the initial, limited help I wanted. I gave him the diner's address and told him about the apparent apartments in the house just to the south. I told him, for now, all I wanted was the names of the tenants and basic information about each. He said he could "reschedule" the rest of his morning and thought he could get my information via the internet and/or phone calls to his "contacts." He thought he might be able to accomplish the task by noon. We discussed fees, and I gave him my corporate credit card number -- I would reimburse the company when I got my next statement. Ah, the privileges of being an executive. I attempted to get thoughts of Tina's possible cheating out of my mind so I could accomplish a few tasks that really shouldn't wait much longer. As semi-promised, Mr. "ABCI" faxed information to my in-office fax machine. I had names, addresses, birth dates, jobs, etc. I discounted three of the tenants. The 77-year-old disabled retiree was the first I eliminated. When I was left with what I thought were the only two candidates, I had to chuckle. One was a nineteen-year-old male college student, and the other was a thirty-three-year-old female grocery clerk. I quickly toyed with the notion Tina was involved with the woman. I might be able to forgive that, as long as they continued and allowed me to join them. NOT!! So, armed with this underwhelming information, what should I do next.? I had no idea, so I called Mr. ABCI. He agreed with my analysis and suggested we focus on Ted Ogilvie. Mr. A started talking about stakeouts, video, etc. I told him I didn't want to go to that trouble and expense. He suggested putting a couple of voice-activated recorders in Ted's apartment. I asked how he knew when Ted was out of his apartment. Mr. A assured me he could get Ted's class schedule and his operative (Mr. A?) knew what to do if Ted had skipped class and was in his apartment. He'd go away and come back later. Ingenious! I told Mr. A I really wanted the the recorders installed not later than early the next (Tuesday) morning. I already knew Tuesdays were the lovers' days of choice and I did not want to wait another week. He also knew Ted worked at the diner, but did not know Ted's class or work schedules. I assumed he knew how to get them so I left him to do his job. Mr. A called my cell just before I was planning to head home. He said Ted was working and "they" were able to install the recorders. He said "they" should be able to retrieve them while Ted was in class Wednesday morning. He promised to call as soon as he had listened to the recordings. I was surprised how calm I was. I didn't know why. I was a little less calm all day Tuesday and Wednesday morning. I had been doing a pretty good acting job at home. My biggest concern was Tessa, but, if she could act until Tuesday noon, the deed would likely have been done. I was, at this stage, not going to worry about all the possible unforeseen roadblocks to Mr. A's plan. Mr. A called about 10:00 Wednesday morning. He told me the recorders had been put in Ted's bedroom and living room. He said, "You ain't gonna like what you hear." I got in my car and headed for his office. When we were settled, he told me a female's voice was picked up at the times we were expecting. He assumed it was Tina's voice, but, before he let me listen to it, he went on to say there was a different female voice that was recorded Tuesday night. He said I would definitely want to listen to that, too. He had anticipated I would want to take the recordings with me and had made duplicates for me. He assured me he would keep the originals safe. I again gave him my corporate credit card to bring my account current. I hoped I would not need his services for anything more expensive. I decided to return to my office and stay late so I could listen to the recordings in the safety of my office. I called and left a message telling Tina I would be one or two hours late. I started listening to the recordings. The first voice was a male's. He was making a phone call and identified himself to the other party as 'Ted.' I could only hear his side of the conversation. He referred to the other person as 'Babe' and they were setting a time to meet that night at his apartment. Clearly, the first female voice was Tina's. She had arrived just after 11:30 and said, "Let's do lunch then we can do each other for a couple of hours." Tears began to well up in my eyes and I had to stop the recording. I steeled myself and resumed listening. I could tell they were preparing something for lunch. They discussed non-erotic things such as how their past six days had gone. Clearly, they were quite comfortable with each other. They continued to chat while their food was cooking. Ted told her everything was ready, but a couple of items needed to simmer for five more minutes. That caused Tina to say, "Come here, you stud." It sounded like some pretty serious kissing and body rubbing was going on. They ate lunch and continued to chat. Ted asked if she was going to be able to "stop by" on Thursday. She indicated she could and asked Ted if they should plan on lunch. They agreed they would and then discussed what Tina could bring for Ted to cook. Lunch was over all too soon. I guess they didn't eat much so their digestive systems would not interfere with their bedroom activities. Then Tina surprised me by telling Ted, "I've been giving some thought about what special thing we might be able to do on our first anniversary." Ted asked if she meant the first day in the library. Tina replied, "No, silly. I mean the first day we were alone here. November 2nd. Anyway, it will be difficult, especially since it will be a Wednesday. But we've got some time to think about it." The audio from what I assumed was the bedroom was louder and more clear. I heard lots of moans, groans, terms of endearment, and other things you would expect from lovers who were experienced with each other. Ted asked if she was fertile. She indicated she was and Ted said, "I guess Mr. Studly isn't going to get your pussy today. I guess Thursday is also out." Tina indicated he was correct. I heard Ted say, "God, Babe, you always know how to suck my cock. Make sure you give me plenty of deep throating before I fill your stomach with spunk." She obviously did. And he, also. Tina said, "Get down there and eat that pussy!" He obviously did a good job because Tina was making noises I had not heard since our first few months of marriage. Lots of "Oh Gods" and "I'm cummings." Eventually, Tina said, "I can't take anymore right now. That was five orgasms -- each was magnificent. Can you get it up again for your round two? Where's the lube?" Ted responded, "Let me get it. Haven't we done this enough times so you don't need the lube anymore?" Tina told him she wanted some lube in her ass just to make sure his cock would easily slide in. Tina had never given me her ass, and had never come close to deep throating me. He could have a much smaller dick than I, but that thought was somewhat dashed when Tina urged Ted with, "Cram that big cock up my ass!" Ted, through various grunts, stated, "If you ever give this to your old man, his smaller cock will slide right in." Tina used a loud, unkind voice to remind him not to ever talk about me. "Sorry, Babe, I just got carried away -- there it goes! I'm all the way in. Do you want me to go slow for a while?" Tina mumbled something sounding like 'yes.' After a bit, Tina, in full voice, shouted, "Fuck that ass! Pound it senseless!" And it certainly sounded like that's what he began to do. Lots of noise. Ted was clearly all the way in because I heard what must have been his balls slapping against her ass, or pussy. Why Did I Do This? Ch. 02 They both started crying out about their impending orgasms. Ted shouted first. Tina followed with, "Hang in there, big guy. This is going to be a huge one." And it certainly sounded like it was. Things calmed. All I could hear was groaning and some occasional 'wows.' Tina eventually spoke first. "Let me clean up a bit then I'll be ready for you eat me again." This one sounded much like the first pussy eating. Tina may not have had as many orgasms, but she clearly indicated she was VERY satisfied. She said, "Let's shower. I need to get home before the kids do." That was it except for their good-byes at the door. I took a deep breath and sighed. I would let that soak in, and would likely listen to it again. I was surprised how relatively calm I had remained. I still had no idea what I would do about Tina. I'd probably make a list of possible actions, and review them with my brother, who is an attorney. I listened to the recording from Tuesday night. The voice was not Tina's. She was obviously a friend with benefits. As they hastily shed their clothing, 'Babe' asked, "Was your mom on the rag today?" When Ted indicated no, she said, "So I guess your dick is looking for a little pussy from me." And so they did. After they had both climaxed, she asked another question. "How much longer are you going to keep fucking that grandma?" Ted responded, "Are you ready to become exclusive with me?' Pause -- she must be nodding or shaking her head. "I didn't think so. Tina and I are good together and I don't plan on giving her up unless I become exclusive with someone. Hell, I might continue cheating with Tina. She's got no right to complain about that since she's been cheating on her husband for nearly a year." I listened to the entire recording, but there was nothing of importance to me. I decided I might want to listen to the evening recording again if I decided to use anything on it when I confronted Tina. I got ready to go home -- I was going to be more like three hours late. I made sure to lock the recordings in my desk. I thought about Tina as I drove home. I tried to think about the happy times, but scenes from the recording kept interfering. *****/***** TINA Jay's message said he would be late, and, after two and a half hours, I began to worry a bit. If he was too tired, we would not be playing in bed tonight. I enjoyed having sex with Jay on "Ted days" if Ted and I did not fuck. Speaking of Ted -- today ranked right up there with some of our best non-fucking days. Jay arrived and he was clearly whipped. I asked what delayed him, and he briefly mentioned a late afternoon meeting and wanting to input some thoughts before he forgot them. Three hours late is very unusual, but he only lies to me when he trying to hide a surprise. He asked where the kids were. Tessa was in her room, allegedly doing homework. James was out with Amy. To that, Jay asked, "She seems nice enough, but do you think he is beginning to neglect his studies?" I assured Jay I thought James was on top of things, but I would check more closely. Jay asked, "Are they going steady?" I had to chuckle. "Kids don't use that term anymore. They use the same term adults do -- "exclusive." And I don't think they are. Maybe soon." "Doesn't "exclusive" have some kind of sexual overtone?" "It could, but not necessarily," I responded. Jay seemed to want to say more, but just shook his head a bit. *****/***** JAMES I was beginning to rue having told Tessa about Mom. I reminded Tessa, on Monday and Tuesday afternoons, she needed to be extremely careful what she said, and how she acted, around Mom, especially if she got in an argument with Mom. I was anxious to talk with Dad because I didn't know how long the three of us could keep up this acting. Amy and I did not stay out too late on Tuesday night. Mom had told us Dad was going to be late, and I wanted to talk to him before he went to bed. He must have heard Amy pull into the driveway because he came out to her car. No good-night kisses for me! Amy and I got out of the car, and the three of us chatted. Amy, never the shy one, asked Dad, "Well, what's the verdict?" Dad looked toward the house to ensure we were alone. Then he turned to us. "It's bad, and I have no idea where this is headed. I haven't told Tessa, and I'm not sure I should." I apologized for having told her, while Amy gave me the evil eye. Dad said he was going to call Uncle Fred, his brother, in the morning. I knew Uncle Fred practiced tax law, but I guessed Dad knew best. I asked Dad if he and Mom were getting divorced. "I don't know," he sadly replied. I could tell Dad was not himself, but I had no idea how deeply his pain went. I asked him what he wanted me to tell Tessa. He said, "Less than I just told you." *****/***** JAY Before I went indide, I pulled out my cell, walked into the street -- away from the house, and called Fred. After swearing him to secrecy, including from his wife, I told him I needed some basic divorce information. After five minutes of answering his questions, I told him I could go to the internet, but what I really wanted to know was what would our local judges do regarding splitting the property if Tina and I did not agree. He told me he thought he could get that information for me the next morning. After telling me to, "Hang in there," we disconnected. I told Tina I needed to get to work early so I could review the "stuff" I had worked on last night. In truth, I got there early so I could listen to the recording again. I knew I could not spend the necessary time to listen to everything, so I decided to listen to Ted's early phone call and their lunch. I would try to listen to remainder, in pieces, throughout the day. I did not learn anything new. The lunch conversation reinforced my first listening -- they were extremely comfortable with each other. Why not? They had been "together" for ten or eleven months. I struggled to appear "normal" during the rest of the morning. Fred called before lunch. He told me a family law buddy had faxed him the property settlement guidelines our local judges used. He also warned me they were only guidelines, and some judges had been known to deviate significantly. I told him it was safe to fax the guidelines to my office. A few minutes later I heard my fax printer fire up. It was only two pages so I skimmed them before heading to lunch. It was pretty much as I expected -- no pre-nup = the higher-paid wage-earner gets screwed. It reminded me of something a friend once told me. He said his divorce attorney told him "...men are the short-term losers, but they were the long-term winners." I wondered what "long-term" meant. I also wondered how the local judges factored that into their property settlement decisions. If I filed for divorce, I assumed Tina would fight it. Ours is a "no fault" state so I could file, let the judge make most of our divorce decisions, and wait for the appropriate amount of time to expire. Then we would be divorced. I preferred that Tina and I decide how to split the property and what to do about the kids. I realized this was just "stuff," and I first needed to get past the initial question -- what would Tina and I do? I suspected that was going to be my decision and I needed to get on with it. I did not want to start seeing a psychologist. In this day and age, there certainly were plenty of self-help books and articles on the internet. I guessed I'd be "working late" for a few more nights. *****/***** TINA Ted and I had our usual, and fulfilling, time together on Thursday. Something new happened. I caught myself, more than once, thinking about my "normal" life while I was with Ted. He noticed. Over lunch he had said, "Hey, Babe, you look like you are a thousand miles away." I told him it was nothing and I was anxious to get in bed. I told him to make sure he had some lube by the bed. I didn't pay enough attention to know how many orgasms I had while Ted ate my pussy twice. As usual, however, he got his explosive blow job and ass fuck. During my drive home, I replayed my earlier concern. Jay was not quite himself. I don't know when I first noticed, but it wasn't anything I could put my finger on. Maybe it was his additional work hours that started me thinking. He had worked late on Wednesday and he told me he was going to need to do that again tonight. He had also gone in early today. If this continued, I was going to need to find out what was going on. For now, however, I would continue to assume he was telling the truth regarding this new "project." Don't executives have subordinates to handle those kinds of things? Sure enough, Jay was a couple of hours late. I asked if this was going to be a regular thing. He surprised me by saying, "I don't know how much longer, but I do need to go in early tomorrow. Do you have anything planned for Friday night?" When I asked why, he responded, "If nothing is going on I should work late, but I could come home closer to my usual time if we need to do anything." I asked how much longer he would be working these hours. He said, "I honestly don't know." Without another word, he turned and headed for our bedroom. I noticed, at bedtime, Jay was taking a sleeping pill. He'd been doing that more often, so I inquired. He said he was just too keyed up regarding the project that he knew he would toss and turn without a pill. I asked him if that meant we would not be making love. He said, "You betcha." He gave me a kiss on my forehead; said, "Good night, Babe;" and rolled away from me. Strange. He was soon asleep. I was not. I called Jay before lunch. He was still planning on working late, so I asked about the weekend. He asked if we had anything scheduled, and, if we didn't, he might go to the office "for a little while." I again wondered what could be going on. Was he cheating? Not the Jay I knew. *****/***** JAY Why was I procrastinating? I was driving home after "working" an extra couple of hours. I had information on top of information. I was beginning to read the same stuff over and over. I knew our finances could take a divorce hit, and I knew Tina and I would work out what was best for the kids. My stumbling block was Tina. The single most memorable thing I found during my internet searches was: Would my life be better with Tina in it or with Tina out of it? I could now list the pros and cons in my head. Another thing I realized was that I was extremely depressed. I would soon schedule an appointment with my doctor to see what medication, if any, I should be taking. But that could wait, for now. I wished I could determine how Tina would react if I confronted her. I was leaning that way. Probably because I did not want to say, "Tina, I'm divorcing you," unless I was certain I would follow through. Obviously, I had not yet determined whether Tina did or did not "belong" in my life. I was almost home when it finally dawned on me that I could never accurately predict Tina's reaction to any of my scenarios. I realized I had not seriously considered another possibility -- how would I treat Tina if we stayed together after having a full-blown confrontation? I knew I would still love her, in some fashion, even if we divorced. But, how would I treat her during the rest of our lives together? Could I control my anger and hurt? What if we were still together two years from now, and she innocently asked what I wanted for lunch? If I was already mad about something else, could I resist the temptation to yell, "I don't know! Maybe we should call (or go see) Ted to get his recommendation!" I immediately determined I would not go to work over the weekend; instead, I would spend the two days thinking about what to do. I was determined to have my final decision not later than Monday before I headed home from work. I wanted to start my confrontation with Tina when she left Ted's apartment next Tuesday afternoon. I say "start" because I did not know how long or what direction the confrontation would take. *****/***** TINA Jay looked bushed, again. I asked him about working during the weekend. He surprised me by saying, "I'm too pooped to pop. I think I'll just take it easy and drink a few brewskies. That is, unless you have some tasks for me that can't wait." I told him to check the garage fridge to see if he had enough beer. Jay said, "Didn't you get a case of Corona for James last Saturday?" "I don't know when he'll get tired of that joke. Probably on his 21st birthday. Of course, I hope he is still in college when that happens. Jay, you know we're raising a couple of pretty good kids." Jay had gotten a beer and said, "I know. We should be proud of ourselves. Especially you because you were willing to be a stay-at-home mom for them." That brought a tear to corner of my eye, and I told Jay, "Yes, I was willing, but I wouldn't have been able to do that without your financial and emotional support." So, why was I fucking Ted? I hoped a relaxing weekend with Jay would do both of us a world of good. I realized we had not concluded at least two of the issues we had earlier discussed. "No, we don't have any pressing issues requiring your time this weekend, and I'll check the beer supply in both fridges. Should we think about going out to eat, or something else over the weekend?" "Let's do that," he said as he took his beer to his recliner, sat back, and relaxed. I knew we could discuss that Saturday morning. I was hoping his extended work hours were coming to an end so things around the house could return to normal. *****/***** JAY My brother called Saturday and Sunday. Tina was home when he called Saturday so I carefully told him things were good and I was planning some kind of confrontation on Tuesday. I told him during his Sunday call that Tina was again home and my plans had not changed since his Saturday call. Tina left for a while on Saturday afternoon so I was able to talk with James and Tessa. I asked them, point blank, "Do you want your mother and me to stay together or get divorced?" That hit them right between the eyes. James told me it was my call, and Tessa nodded her assent. I told them I planned on being in front of Ted's apartment building next Tuesday to confront Tina as she walked to her SUV. They both agreed they wanted to be there. Without me having to ask, James said Amy would want to be there, too. He called Amy to review the start of our plans. She told him she would leave her German class a little early and would join us at about 2:00. He asked her to join us a few minutes earlier because we needed to show her how to operate our video recorder. The weekend was relaxing, and I continued to mentally script our Tuesday confrontation. I continued to take things easy at work on Monday. I was confident the confrontation would work. Then I would need to see how Tina would react. I had called Mr. ABCI early on Monday morning and he assured me he could get the recorders in Ted's apartment before Tuesday noon. Tuesday, about noon, I visited Tessa's middle school. After I properly identified myself, they let Tessa leave with me for the rest of the school day. James simply cut his afternoon classes. We drove to Ted's apartment and found a parking place on Ted's side of the street, about four spaces behind Tina's SUV. I have a concealed carry permit so I had my semi-automatic pistol in the back of my waistband, with an untucked shirt covering it. I also had an edited copy of the recording from the previous Tuesday. I had deleted Ted's phone call and his Tuesday night tryst. I didn't need those conversations for this "meeting." Amy joined us just before two. We told her the three Williamses would be waiting by Tina's SUV and we wanted her to film everything once Tina came into view from the apartment building. James showed Amy how to use the camcorder. She said she had used something similar and she was soon good to go. Mr. A had told us Ted's apartment was in the back of the house, and Ted and Tina would not be able to see the street. We could tell Tina would come out the old home's front door, walk across the wide concrete porch, and then come down six or seven steps to the sidewalk leading virtually straight to her car. Amy had the camcorder on a tripod and was standing in front of Tina's car. When we heard/saw the door open, the three of us leaned our backs on the house-side of the SUV and folded our arms across our chests. Tina had come down two or three steps when she saw us. She froze. Reality set in as she raised a hand to cover her mouth and began shaking her head. We could hear her repeat "no" countless times. Tessa, as we had rehearsed, screamed, "Mom, what's going on?" We made no effort to change our poses, and Amy kept the camera going while we waited to see what Tina would do. It didn't take long. Tina ran up the stairs and into the apartment building. I asked James to bring the camera and follow me to Ted's apartment. We entered and walked down the hall. There was one apartment on the left and one on the right. Mr. A's abbreviated explanation did not help. I signaled for James to be quiet, and go to the door on the right. I went to the left door and put an ear close to it. I glanced at James, and he was following my lead. He had the tripod set up between us and it was running. If nothing else, we would at least pick up any audio to supplement Mr. A's recorders. I got James's attention and we both shrugged our shoulders to indicate neither had heard anything. I spoke up so anyone in the left apartment could hear me. "Tina or Ted, are you in there?" Ted, as I could tell from hearing his voice on the recordings, shouted, "What do you want, old man?" I shouted back, "Listen, jackass, I have a fully-loaded Glock 17, so shut your fucking mouth and answer my questions. I need to ensure Tina understands a few things before I leave. She doesn't have to talk to me. In fact the sound of her voice might make me puke all over the carpet. "Tell me if she is in there, numb nuts! Otherwise she might miss some of the fun -- you two can only fuck so many hours in a day. Is she listening to me?" Ted gave me a "yes," so I told him, " Ask Tina if she wants you to write down what I'm about to tell her. If not you two will have to recall my list of information and demands." Ted responded with, "Go ahead, asshole. We can handle it." "One. I'm leaving a recording of you two from last Tuesday. I'll put it on the floor, leaning against the door. This is not a trick to get you to open the door. When you hear James (We heard Tina cry out, 'No!') and me leave you can retrieve the recording. This is what I have listened to for the last week while I tried to determine what, if anything, I was going to do to or about you. You MUST listen to it before we speak again." "Two. Do not come home tonight. You won't be able to get in. Do not come home until after work tomorrow. I will have packed and be gone by then." "Three. Do not attempt to contact me. Do not call. Do not show up at my office. Don't send me any emails. Do not attempt to find or contact me!" "Four. If you decide to file for divorce, have the papers served on me at work. (Another Tina gasp.) I am not, at this time, planning to file for divorce." "Five. I am planning to contact you early next week. I will avoid the times that history indicates you spend here with Ted. I might, however, decide to postpone contacting you until a later date." "Six. Do you want to say anything before James and I leave?" Silence. Then Ted yelled, "Piss off, motherfucker!" That, I assumed, meant our business was concluded. James and I headed for the front door. I made sure to close it loudly so they could assume we had left. Why Did I Do This? Ch. 02 We attempted to thank Amy for her help and brush her off, but she said, "No way! I'm coming home with you guys." I pulled my car into the garage, pulled the red rope to disengage the automatic door opener, and turned the door handle to manually lock the door. What were the odds Tina had a key for that door? Fortunately, all the exterior house doors had deadbolt locks that could only be opened and closed from the inside -- none had a key slot. We ensured each door was dead-bolted. I told the kids, including Amy, I had a place to stay, and they could call me on my cell if they needed me. I told them I didn't know when, if ever, I would be back. They were old enough to handle this discussion. So I reminded them their mother and I loved the two of them more than anyone else in the world. If their mother and I permanently separated, our love for them would not change. Tessa asked, "Don't you still love Mom?" I answered with the best I could manage at the time, "I don't think so, at least not right now." I had already pretty much determined what I would need to take to hold me for a week. I had two large suitcases, a roll-aboard, and a medium-sized moving box. The kids helped me pack suits, dress shirts, shoes, socks, casual clothes, toiletries, etc. in the two suitcases and roll-aboard. I put a few books, my home laptop, and a few other items I thought I might need into the moving box. I was finished. James said he would load everything into my back seat and trunk. Did I really look that old and/or decrepit? We had all been so busy, most of us now realized we were hungry. I left it the three of them. Order in or send Amy to get carryout. They decided on my favorite -- Burger King. Tessa went with Amy because James was still loading my car. Me? I grabbed a couple of beers, sat in my recliner, and reflected on what the next phase of my life would be like. *****/***** TINA I was shocked beyond anything I could imagine. My family knew what I had been doing! I couldn't form any thoughts to make the sight of them go away. I knew I had to do something so I turned and ran back to Ted's apartment. How could Jay be so mean to tell the kids about my affair AND have them present when I came out of Ted's apartment. What had he told me? Don't come home and don't contact me. He mentioned divorce. I didn't want a divorce. How did I get myself into this, and, more importantly, how was I going to get myself out of it? I asked Ted to sit down with me so we could reconstruct and write down Jay's demands Ted told me Jay had called out each demand with a number -- there were six demands. We worked on the demands list for a while, but I wasn't much help because I was crying so hard. Why did I do this and what was I going to do? Although I was still crying, I called James on his cell. He answered, but, knowing it was me, he was very curt. I asked him how his father was, and James answered, "How do you think he is?" I hoped that meant Jay was fairly well under control. I guess you can do that if you've had at least a week to think about it. I howled and cried even harder. James said, "Listen to the recording. Dad said it was so bad he wouldn't let us listen to it. Mom! How could you do this to us? Nothing will ever be the same again!" He immediately disconnected our call. So, here I was in Ted's apartment, and Jay had told me not to come home until tomorrow afternoon. I asked Ted if I could spend the night. He got a nervous look on his face and said, "I don't think that will work, Babe. I've got other plans." That caused me to cry that much harder. I hoped I would soon be all cried out, but I had my doubts. I decided I did not want to call my mom or my sister. I asked Ted how much longer I could stay. When he said, "A couple of hours," I sat down at his computer to find a place to stay. I drove to the Holiday Inn Express where I had just made my reservation. Not surprisingly, I was still crying when I checked in. The clerk asked I was okay, and I assured the young man I was "fine." Settled in my room, I took stock of my situation. Ted and I had come up with a list of five of Jay's six demands. I hoped the one we forgot wasn't the most important of the six. Jay had mentioned divorce, but I certainly did not want to even think about that. But, he had also said he didn't want a divorce -- at least not now. Jay said he would contact me in a week. I consulted his list of demands to determine what I should and should not do. Saving my marriage and my family was the most important thing for me to do -- I guess I should have thought about that eleven months ago. I had to listen to the recording I had put in my purse. I could do that when I got home. Home? How different was it going to be? Jay would be gone, the kids would certainly hate me. He also said I was to leave him alone. That was going to be difficult, but I did not want to further upset him; so, I would fight all urges to call him or attempt to find him. My cell rang at about 8:30. It was James. He told me Jay had left with enough things for a week, and I could come home now. I reminded James that his dad had told me to stay away until Wednesday afternoon. James responded, "Dad says he has enough clothes and stuff so he won't need to come back." After I told James I had already paid for my room, he responded, "But you don't have other clothes or your make-up and stuff." I told him I would be okay and would come home while he and Tessa were at school. In truth, I did not want to face my kids until I had myself under better control. I asked where his dad was staying. As expected, James said he knew where Jay was, but he couldn't tell me. He said he or Tessa could call him to give him important messages from me, but "important" did NOT include what was going on between Jay and me. I cried myself to sleep and woke up in time to call my boss to tell her I would not be in. I got home about 10:00. I took a relaxing bath, then started thinking about what I would do when the kids got home. I had pretty much finished my non-stop crying, but it was difficult to concentrate because I would invariably start crying again. I had never cried so much -- not even when my dad died. I was finally able to "sit up and take nourishment." (Strange how, as we age, we often begin to talk like our parents.) *****/***** JAY Fortunately, I remembered to pack my sleeping pills or I would not have gotten much sleep Tuesday night. I was staying in an extended stay kind of motel, so I picked up some breakfast supplies and the ever-necessary case of cold beer. I splurged and bought myself a more expensive brand than I normally buy. The motel was across town from the house, but it was about the same work commute I was accustomed to. I got up Wednesday morning and looked around. I was lonely and missed Tina and the kids. I made a decent breakfast and went to work. I thought I had done a good job of concealing my personal problems from people at work. I knew I probably needed to change some of that. I called my secretary into my office and gave her only the briefest story I had rehearsed. I told her, in essence, Tina and I were temporarily separated and I would NOT accept her calls. Gloria had met Tina a few times, but they certainly weren't any kind of friends. Gloria told me how sorry she was, to ask her if she could do anything, etc. I also stuck my head in my boss's office and told him what was going on. In addition to telling me much the same things Gloria had said, her said he certainly understood if I needed time off to "take care of things." I thanked him and told him that shouldn't be necessary in the short term, but I might need some extra time later. Work was something far short of spectacular. I decided I didn't want to hide out in my "suite" for the next week, so I headed for one of those national pub and grub chain restaurants. I had a pleasant, fattening meal. I had packed my running shoes, so I went to my room, donned my running/walking gear, and headed out for a leisurely walk. I continued to think about Tina, and what would happen to us and our kids. I still had not definitely decided on my course of action. I had to do that soon because I did not want to leave the decision to Tina. I assumed she would choose no more separation, no divorce, couples counseling, etc. One of my golfing buddies, who had gone through much the same thing with a cheating wife, told me his former wife needed the counseling. He did not so he refused to attend. *****/***** TINA Amy brought the kids home, and I was surprised when she also came in the house. Tessa immediately started. "How could you, Mom?" I suggested any conversation would be awkward with Amy there. Tessa must have made herself the group's spokesperson and continued, "Hell, Mom, she's the one who discovered you were cheating. Then she convinced James. Hell, they even saw you coming out of the apartment building!" I cautioned Tessa about her language. She told me, "Tough shit!" Hell, she sounded like Ted screaming through his door at Jay. The four of us sat down at the kitchen table and they grilled me. They obviously had no script because their questions were all over the map. Sometimes one question or answer would lead one of them to ask something he/she had not yet thought of. It seemed like most of my answers were of the "I don't know" variety. We often came back to the essential question -- what was I going to do? After several attempts to answer that, I discovered my best answer was, "I want to get your father back and I want our family to be together and happy." I heard many variations of "how?" I gave them various answers. One or more of them told me most of my ideas were "lame." Finally, I asked them what THEY thought I should do. Tomorrow's news headline would be: "Hush falls in family kitchen; four injured." I asked them to think about that and we would huddle after school on Thursday to discuss their ideas. They, of course had schedule conflicts. Accordingly, we settled on dinner, followed by discussion. I suggested, since I didn't have anything planned for Thursday, I would prepare something special. The "party" broke up. The three had, at times, verbally beaten me up pretty good. On the bright side, however, no one called me names or blatantly threw details regarding my affair in my face. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the kids came up with the perfect solution? Can anyone pronounce "unlikely?" Ted called Thursday morning and asked, "Are we still on for today, Babe?" I hadn't even considered this possibility and said/yelled, "Of all the GD unmitigated temerity! You and I are done! If you see me on campus, just walk on by. If you need help in the library, get someone else to help you. Understand?!" Ted suggested he might need to send anonymous letters to my friends, family, and co-workers, detailing my cheating. I was quite proud of my unrehearsed response. "Listen, you little fuck ass. I can afford to hire a professional hit man. Therefore, I suggest you forget everything you ever knew about me. Got it?" Was I going to have to quit my job to get away from him? There's an idea. A small item to put on my list of things I was willing to do to save my marriage. *****/***** JAY Time marched on. I spent most of the weekend checking out rentals and townhouses and condos for sale. I had quite an extensive list. If I needed to move, a rental would likely make more sense. Was I going to move? Very possibly. Were we going to divorce? Maybe, but I wanted to talk with Tina before I committed to that. I didn't want to get a pesky realtor involved, so that cut down my list to the units I could get into to view. I also drove by several of the other complexes to at least see what they looked like. After two rather busy days, I was convinced I could rent something with enough room and amenities to satisfy my "bachelor" needs, as well as having enough room for one or both of the kids to stay over. I called Tina on Monday night. She literally knocked herself out telling me how sorry she was, she only loved me, etc. I cut her off and told her I wanted to come over some evening so we could talk about things. She wanted me to come over immediately, but I told her I was "busy." Let her stew on that! We settled on the next night, Tuesday, and, though she wanted me to come for dinner, I told her I would be over after dinner and I wanted the kids out of earshot. We settled on 7:30, and I told her her mission was to convince me to come home, permanently. *****/***** TINA I was so excited! And nervous. In addition to imagining all the things Jay might do, I had spent plenty of time thinking about what I needed to do to get him back. I decided I would draft a list, sleep on it, and review it in the morning to see if I had omitted anything. Then I would organize the items logically so I could either give the list to Jay or I could read it to him. God, how I loved that man! He completed me. He was my soul mate and I was supposed to be with him forever. I know, those statements do not comport with my actions since last October. Why had I given in to Ted? Why had I continued? Why hadn't I accurately assessed the chances of getting caught? Intelligently, I knew I would figure out how to go on without Jay, but, emotionally, I didn't want to face that prospect. I poured a glass of wine, sat at the kitchen table, and began my list of things to cover with Jay. I vowed to be thorough -- giving him the good and the bad. I awoke and reread my list while I drank coffee. I thought my list was thorough, but I needed to rephrase a few things. And, of course, I needed to organize the list and make two copies. I'd let Jay decide if he wanted his copy as I read my copy to him. The alternative was to give him his copy as he was leaving. *****/***** JAY I rang the doorbell. Tina opened the door and jumped into my arms. I held her as she said, "I've missed you so much! Please, don't hate me!" I released her and suggested we go inside for our discussion. We headed for the kitchen table. She had made a fresh pot of coffee, and asked me if I would prefer something different. "No. Coffee will be fine. If I need water or something later, I can get it myself." She attempted to get into pleasantries while pouring the coffee, but I cut her off. "Tina, this is not a social call. I am here to let you try to convince me not to divorce you. I don't know if you think I have given you enough time, but I really don't want to drag this out. So, how do you want to go about this?" "Jay, I've spent a lot of time thinking about all of the terrible things I have done, and how much those things must hurt you. I've tried to put everything in writing. (At this point she'd walked over to a counter and picked up what turned out to be a two-page, typed letter.) I've written it like a letter -- from me to you. I would like to read it to you. I have a second copy you can take with you." I suggested she give me the second copy now. She got up and retrieved the second copy. Handing it to me she said, "This will work, too. You can follow along while I read my copy to you." "No, Tina, I'll just me read it to myself." She looked a bit miffed, but nodded. It did read like a letter. The more I read, the more I realized how much effort she had put into the task and how logically the letter flowed. She started by telling me she had listened to the recording and realized I pretty much knew how and when it started, how ashamed she was, how it wasn't about love, how she had never stopped loving me, etc. There was, of course, virtually every cliché I'd found in my research. Then she made numerous promises about what she would/could do so I would forgive her enough to give her one more chance to save the best thing that ever happened to both of us. Predictably, she would/could become the most faithful and loving wife possible, quit her job and find another one that I approved of, perform all the sexual acts she had with Ted and do some research so the two of us could do things she and I had never done before, get counseling (But would prefer couples counseling.), etc. She ended the letter by explaining the reasons she could not tell me WHY it happened. It just happened. I had not done anything wrong to cause her to go looking. She wasn't looking -- it just happened. She would spend every day of her life regretting she gave in to Ted's advances. I was really glad she had written the letter. She had probably realized a discussion would not flow as logically and she might forget to cover some things. "Tina, thank you for taking the time to prepare the letter. It covers most questions I might have asked, but it is too little, too late." She was starting to get the same look she had when she first saw us outside Ted's apartment building. I lifted and opened my small briefcase. "Tina, I cannot stay married to you. This is just too much for me to get past. Here are copies of my suggested property settlement..." I knew she wasn't listening to me so I stopped explaining the documents. There were two. The first was a very, very fair property settlement. It was, according to my attorney, too fair to Tina. The other dealt with our shared custody of the kids. She would be able to understand the documents when she had herself under control. I laid both documents on the table and said, "Tina, I have not let the kids, other relatives, friends, neighbors, or anyone else listen to the recording or the one my PI made on the Tuesday we confronted you. I believe these documents are very fair. I'm willing to trade some things, but you'd better not try to get more. Remember these last words, 'Don't fuck with me!' ". I debated whether to wait for her to get herself under control or simply leave. I decided to leave. I put both documents on the table, and, as I walked toward the front door, I heard Tina calling after me. "Jay, don't you love me, even just a little bit?" I turned to face her and replied, "Tina, I love you AND I hate you. I don't know how long it will take me, but I want to get myself to the point of feeling indifferent toward you. Then my love and hate will be completely gone. I'll never understand why you did this to us." End.