0 comments/ 12713 views/ 4 favorites When Does Cheating Actually Start? By: c1992w Author's Foreword: Those who skim LW submissions in private searching for ... the usual... might do well to pass on this one. Lots of thinking and psychology will be found here - not to mention big words and big ideas. Thanks for the excellent private feed back. One other thing: each submission takes me approximately 4 or 5 hours of my time and after my writing skills have improved enough to satisfy me, I will start to have my submissions proof-read. In the mean time, sorry for the typos - they are all mine. When Does Cheating Actually Start? John Warman was a product specialist for an industrial parts wholesaler. At 26 and single and with 6 years experience out of college, he was the acknowledged third party parts specialist for several uncatalogued German manufactured machine tool brands. He was a walking encyclopedia of what parts substituted for factory ones, he dealt effectively with customers at the company's city counter and very often amazed them by producing a substitute part when a broken sample was presented. John's honesty was legendary, probably because he never pretended to be someone he was not. His telephone relationship with the company's customers was renown - often the main number clerk could be seen holding up one finger or two to indicate the number of customers waiting to talk to him. Not the brightest mind in college, where he had enrolled in the engineering school, but washed out, he pursued a World History degree. He also attended the free social dance lessons and student mixers and even managed to lose his virginity by penetrating the pussy of a heavily tattooed body-ringed co-ed once. She said afterwards to John, "Dude, I couldn't even feel you." Embarrassed, he gave up chasing pussy. But, after extensive research he found out that his cock was average size, and then had himself checked for STDs. His self-esteem skyrocketed at this point. He graduated without ceremony and went out into the world to pursue a career-track job and to seek a woman with whom being mutually in love was possible. He had a secret one but someone had already chosen her so he stopped thinking about her as a lover. Friendships in the workplace are typically fleeting, random, and surface ones made of convenience. Getting alone and being pleasant or affable, and to a small extent, assisting co-workers, and finding someone to 'lunch' with drives the process of office friendship formations. For example, after such a 'friend' moves on, no ripples are felt in anyone's life. But, on extremely rare occasions, a real FRIENDSHIP may be found - e.g., A real friend for the purposes here may be illustrated as Person A can and does crash at Person B's house unannounced and is very welcomed by Person B. One such pair of friends was John Warman and Jennifer Thames (sometimes Jen, Jenny). She was a product specialist for a Japanese line of machine tool parts for which the company carried replacement 3rd party parts. Jen had an associates degree from the local community college but had worked full or part time since a high school junior. Her cubicle had backed up against John's for the three years she had worked in that parts house. They chatted when both were idle. Each also brought lunch from home and they sat together either on the shaded outdoor seats in the warm months or in the company break room otherwise. Others were invited to join them and did from time to time but since the couple was 'boring' to others the few joiners soon moved on. John and Jen liked the same movies and songs and even the same food. His co-worker made John look forward to Monday on the weekends because he would see his best friend again. Thinking about John and Jen and sex in the same sentence was impossible because John was a nerd and Jen was married and the mother of a small child - and not very attractive. In fact, her child and husband visited the office freely and often when he was in town, and both of them liked John. Mrs. Thames was a kind of a beautiful woman in one sense, naturally svelte and well groomed but she seemed to go out of her way to look almost plain and draw no attention. Her discount rack clothes poorly fitted her - again as if she was not trying to impress anyone - and for the little cosmetics owned, she once said with a laugh, "I buy what's on sale." She and her husband had met at church as both were choir members at their Methodist church. True Believers, they both reacted to John's being a Bright (i.e., a non-believer, non-spiritual) with a, "Too bad. I will continue to pray for you." For the first year of their friendship it was shop talk and gossip about co-workers, inadequate pay, and bad weather. The twenty-something Jen did talk about her child and sometimes about her husband (e.g., She said to John more than once, "I got a picture post card from Richard in ... where he is on R&R for a few days" The cities remembered were Paris, Frankfurt, and Stockholm). On special occasions when home awaiting deployment her husband would show up impromptu and insist that John keep his seat when he walked up to their table at lunch time at her company. Today had been such an occasion when Richard popped in to show both a new cell phone he had just purchased. He had joined them saying little but was attentive. After he had left them, Jennifer said the first time to John, "Richard is a technical guru working on a sophisticated weapons system for the Defense Contractor. He is deployed overseas often but has been at home for quite a few weeks now. I can tell he is getting antsy to be deployed again." John Mused to himself, "When the brainiac, Richard, comes to the supply house to chat with us, I still have no idea what he is about and what is on his mind - the guy is a mystery. Sad to say, his only interest in Jennifer appeared to John to be that she is Chrissy's mother, and a very good one. But, in spite of it all, professionally I like Richard and think he likes and trust me. Maybe that is because both of us are very, very good at what we do for a living - albeit he makes mucho more money than I do." The real Richard Thames that John didn't know at all was from a Classic American upper middle class family. Very quick and smart, he carried just under a 4.0 GPA in Engineering school, and generally kept his pants zipped as a student and was the acknowledged man-with-the-answer in at least three areas. A devout believer, he met his wife who was a fellow Choir member, at church. They dated a few times and of course their passions ran away with them and she became pregnant. He did the 'right thing' and married her and has spent the last four years trying to make his marriage work - but only for the sake of the child." John was convinced that their frequent separation preserved their marriage as he and Jenny learned early on that they bristle in each other's presence after a very short while. For last year's company Christmas party, for example of John's closeness to both, Richard had just come home and John picked up Jen and Richard for transportation to the hotel. The three sat at a table together for the dinner and dance. Jennifer's husband detested those kind of dress up affairs but to keep peace the few weeks he was to be at home, he went. Richard assured both, "I have two left feet, so you guys enjoy yourself dancing as I enjoy watching. This caused no raised eyebrows at all probably because all three didn't care what co-workers thought down deep as each lived in his own respective world." The story starts on a Monday, two weeks before Christmas after the fourth year of their friendship had begun. John and Jen were, as usual, at lunch eating their sandwiches. She said, "Something exciting has happened but I have pissed off Richard and I just may have started having an affair. Let me explain. Seeing a, 'Whaaat' expression on Jen's face, she continued " My neighbor's Christmas party was Saturday night. Both Richard and I went knowing they were members and did volunteer work at the Faith Hill non-denominational Megachurch Southeast of the city for years. Are you familiar with that huge church?" He replied sounding bored, "Yes. I drove by it one Sunday morning at 'shift change' - i.e., when one Sunday session had broken up and another was to start soon and the resultant traffic jams were brutal." She continued, "My neighbor excitedly had told me about how she and her husband, as members, made lots of friends, close friends, within that group as they helped the disabled and elderly by preparing food and medicine packs. The distribution was by another team of devout volunteer friends." John said, "Well, I can't fault anyone personally for helping the needy if they choose to do that." She continued, "Many of our neighbor's volunteer group members were at her Christmas party Saturday night as well. I liked them immediately, but my dear husband Richard was turned off by them entirely." John said, "Jenny, please don't tell tell me you fancy yourself as having an affair with God because of your new friends?" "No. Nothing like that - my affair is almost the real thing. But to get on with my tale, the young assistant pastor, who proctored the seniors support program, was there. Most of her guests wanted to gather around him and listen but Richard and I just watched and listened from a distance. He had the bluest eyes and blondest hair of any man I have ever met. He told Richard and me later that he had graduated from a seminary somewhere and found this position at Faith Hill four years ago." She giggled and continued, "He also had the most beautiful, booming baritone voice as he spoke from his diaphragm like a trained singer sings, as he described their program. He never once took his eyes off my eyes, however, and and barely glanced at my husband standing beside me." John said, "This is getting interesting, please go on." She continued, "Richard was pissed and after a few minutes he whispered to me, 'I am going to pick up Chrissy from the baby sitter and go home. Come whenever this wonder preacher finishes.' I was filled with angst for one moment and meant to stay just a few more minutes, but I literally lost track of the passage of time and was the last guest to leave the party. In fact, the young pastor walked me next door to our home in the darkness." John said, "Come on Jenny. Next you are going to tell me that he grabbed and kissed you and from then on you were hopelessly in love with him!" "No, John, it didn't happen like that. He just gave me one of their brochures about their church in general and the senior program in particular on the opposite side. He said, "'Thank you for making Royce and Jane's Christmas Party very pleasant for me this year, Jennifer.' He turned around to walk to his car. But he turned back around and said, 'If you want to ask me anything, my cell phone is listed on the program side of the brochure.'" John asked "How did Richard take the fact of your late hours at the party and coming home with the clergyman?" She said, "He and the child were sound asleep so I took a shower and played with myself visualizing the pastor's blond pubic hair as he made love to me." John asked, "Do you plan to physically enjoy the preacher in your bed when Richard is deployed again?" "No. No Never! So Sunday morning, there was no fire storm from Richard - for him the party seemed to never have happened. At church Richard and I both sang and were chatty as if Saturday night never happened. John, believe me, I earnestly prayed for forgiveness and promised God that I would not do that again." The next week was a short one for work because of the holiday closing schedule. At lunch on the last day before the company would be closing for 4 days, her Co-worker asked, "Has the wonder preacher contacted you yet - or you him?" "No, John, but it's worse. I try to take a shower while Richard is shaving or crapping so I won't be tempted to diddle myself again while thinking of my fair-haired pastor. I have been successful so far, but his blond hair and dynamic voice pervades my mind. My defense is that we are entertaining both Richard's and my family members for Christmas and I am very busy cleaning and decorating as there will be 20 plus people in our house - Chrissy is old enough now that even she is excited and wants to rip open her packages under the tree." John said, "That is nice. Have you planned a defense strategy for after the holidays?" Before she could answer, John was paged to the City Counter. He said, "We have to continue this, Jennifer!" The family Christmas festivities were painful for Jennifer. She could not enjoy the children playing and singing and their excitement of seeing their cousins in their gaily decorated house. She kept saying to herself, "Won't this damned Holiday season ever end?" Her mother eyed her with concern because she knew that something was bothering her daughter. There was some alone time with her daughter hoping she would open up. But she didn't. Jen kept thinking about the Preacher and wishing she had some privacy to diddle herself while the Christmas festivities went on. On the January 2nd John and Jen were back at work eating their sandwiches together in the empty break room. John said, "O.K. Give Jenny! Tell me about your very miserable holiday season." Jen went into some details of her torment and said, "But I haven't called him. I even destroyed the brochure with his phone number but I can not forget the number, try as I might." The co-worker asked, "Well, is the lucky preacher-boy going to get that call this week or next?" "John, you are not helping. Why do you just assume that I will be calling him? I am resolved to NOT call him, my buddy, because my reason tells me that there can not be a happy ending to my continued involvement with him." John said, "It is true: calling him would net you nothing but tears and regret, not to mention the damage it would do to Chrissy who watches her Mom make these kind of decisions." She said, "I know it. I have even thought about therapy until I remembered my father's old saying, 'Words can only solve a problem created with words,' and they certainly can not solve those problems created by watching parents and neighbors while growing up.' So therapy is out. I would go talk to my Methodist pastor, a good man, but I hardly know him and I am sure he couldn't remember me or relate to my problem." John said, "Maybe you are afraid that your Methodist pastor would only recommend more of what gave you the problem anyway?" She looked puzzled and thought for a moment and replied, "Now that you mention it, as usual, you are right when I think about it," she replied to John and continued, "We need to get back to work." During their lunch chats for the next few days, Jen purposely steered their conversation away from her sexual problems and focused on shop talk and who was having extra long lunch hours with whom. But a few days later at lunch Jennifer said, "John, I finally talked to our neighbors at length about their church involvement. Then I went to Richard and said, 'I want to start going to church at Faith Hill, and that our neighbors have agreed that I could ride with them Sunday and on Wednesday nights to do volunteer work.' Well I expected an outburst, but he only said, 'Knock yourself out!' Frightened, I said, 'Richard, I want you to support me and would like for you to join with me.' He said, 'No, I have no interest in groups like that and No, I will not support you and I will thank you not to involve Chrissy in your new found passion. In fact, Jennifer, maybe if we got a divorce now, it would save lots of pain and heartache later. What do you think?' Of course I adamantly said, 'I don't want a divorce as I just want to make friends and help others.' But John, it was a wake up call - Richard knows about my inner torments!" John replied, "Of course. He is an erudite person. Besides that even a Dumbass would know if you had just become a 'wet fuck' to him - and he is technically brilliant - albeit I think he is pretty dumb about some things that really matter." Jen said, "No. I disagree. I have decided to face the lion in the den. There are some good people and pastors in that large church, and I just happen to have a big personal problem with one individual that I will solve. Being busy and working around friends will keep my eyes and mind off of Pastor Mark. John, wish me luck. I am so glad I can bounce my problems off of you. I think that doing my volunteer work will help me to fend off the devilish desire." John shook his head as they stood and said, "Jenny, you are not thinking and talking lucidly. But, O.K. 'Rotsaruk' and call me if I can help. In spite of what you are doing, we are still buddies, right?" She smiled and replied, "Oh. Of course. If I lost you....." During the early winter months the two best friends conversation never returned to the preacher-boy. She didn't say and he didn't ask out of courtesy except she had told him that she did the volunteer work and attended church at Faith Hill using her neighbors for transportation to both regularly. Richard had been temporarily assigned stateside and worked from his office. One day in March the first tree buds of spring were out. Jen said at lunch one day, "I walked into Richard's office and he was watching porno and diddling himself. I wanted my husband to take me to bed but we had tried at first but then stopped trying. We drifted further and further apart so I didn't even approach him. Then I rationalized that 'I am a woman with needs' that are not being met. Maybe connecting up with my blond haired pastor is not as bad as it seems." John said, "Ah! Now the drama begins!" She continued, "So my opportunity for sexual expression came. On Wednesday our neighbors couldn't go to the volunteer work session. I called Pastor Mark and said, ' I have no transportation and I can not volunteer tonight.' He said, 'Let me drop by your house to get you and take you home, as it is not far out of my way.' When I declined he continued, 'I am offering to do this because I want to see you, Jennifer. I was hoping you wanted to see me as well.' A million thoughts fire-hosed through my mind. One part of me was rejoicing because the blond haired blue eyed super-man wanted me and another part of me balled-up with a giant mushroom cloud of guilt that had formed in my mind. But, I ultimately agreed to ride with him after he talked so convincingly." John asked, "So you waited for your date to pick you up." She replied simply, "Yes. I hurriedly got ready and a car horn blew. I grabbed my shoulder bag and ran to the Pastor's car. We started talking passionately about how much we had missed each other. He drove no further than an under construction strip mall's darkened parking lot and he pulled around to the back loading docks and parked in the near isolated area, leaving the engine running for warmth in the evening chill. I had been playfully handling his cock while he had been driving and he said, 'Jennifer I want to be inside your body more than anything on earth.' I replied, 'Me too, Mark, but only after I try to get your cock down my throat Heh heh heh.' The passion and the making out was fantastic building up both our sexual appetites, but his ability to satisfy me when we were naked AND getting it on in the back seat was 100 percent lacking. In fact, the sex was awful and the most depressing guilty conscience I have ever had descended on me. I forced him to leave me a lone in the back seat as I squalled at what I had done and put my clothes back on. I then said, 'Take me home right now, Mark!'" John said, "Let me see. You arrive home and your make-up is gone, your clothes are a mess and your eyes are red from crying and you walk into your house. What happened then?" When Does Cheating Actually Start? "Richard was waiting at the door when the pastor's car stopped in front of the house. He detected immediately that my clothes smelled like sex. I lied and said, 'I developed a splitting headache and asked Mark to bring me home. He knew but he said nothing except, 'Please check on Chrissy because she kept wanting you.' So I bathed and read to her and put her to bed. I was trying my best to come up with something plausible to say to my husband." John said, "I hope you got a chance to clean yourself up a little bit while you gave Chrissy a bath?" "I was somewhat cleaned - except inside of me, and I still smelled like sex when I returned to the den. He offered me a glass of wine and said, 'How is that splitting headache now? And, I wonder if you will get extra demerits in hell for lying to a man of the cloth?' I said, 'Richard, I have some problems that I am working through please be patient.' He told me to, 'Take your time, dear wife, but I have learned that I will be re-deployed in late April. So put that in your calculations." John said, "Jen, I do my volunteer work indirectly in that I support an inner-city mentoring organization every month, but tell me about your volunteer work - will you continue at the megachurch?" She described the process of packing needed items of food and toiletries in the boxes and continued, "And, John, I have made several good friends in our group and I wouldn't want to let them down because I have hots for the assistant pastor. I will work this out and pretend our getting it on never happened. Trust me." The two employee buddies were enjoying their sandwiches again about three weeks later when John's lunch partner decided to bring up the subject of the wonder-preacher again. Jenny said, "There is more news about the Mega-Church. The friends and I had started on a good session assembling kits for seniors, chatting and visiting, when the group ran out of boxes. The pastor dismissed everyone and said to me, 'Jennifer, would you like to help me load some supplies at the warehouse as I will drop you off at your house after we unload them here for next week?' I thought I would faint, John. I was split right down the middle wanting to ride home with my neighbors on one hand and on the other I wanted to have another love session with Mark. I was dizzy. But I said, 'Yes, I will be glad to help as my husband is on child duty every Wednesday night while not away.'" John said, "But you were lucky, there are no beds in a darkened warehouse? Right?" She grimaced and said, "Let me tell you. We loaded the supplies in his car and we returned to the warehouse to turn out the lights near the personnel entry door. There was a pile of broken down cardboard boxes awaiting recycle. We got naked and wrestled each other to the smooth cardboard covered floor. He was better this time, but I still didn't orgasm. He didn't want to eat my pussy to make me orgasm this time because we both were sweaty and I am sure I smelled unappetizing to him. I said, 'Never mind, Mark, this is not the best place for that kind of passion.'" When I arrived home, Richard was waiting and said, "'My my, you have had a busy evening judging from the looks of you!' Of course I lied and said, 'Yes, we had to get supplies from the Church's warehouse and I volunteered to help.' John, lying to Richard is hard to do when the smell of a man's sperm had leaked into my clothes. Richard shrugged and simply replied, 'Chrissy is fretting because she wants her mother. Please check on her.' Oh, by the way, Jennifer, I will continue to sleep on the daybed in my locked office and use the guest bathroom from now on. Good night.' I put my purse down and went to check on my daughter." John asked, "What do you mean, 'continue?'" She replied, "Right after the first time with Mark at the construction site, Richard no longer slept with me, but on a day bed in his office. At the time he used the term 'temporarily' but not this time." John said, "Hmmm No arguments and screaming and accusations and make up sex between you two?" "No, John, it has gone beyond that. Richard just started to live like he rents a room in his own house - by the way, his grandmother willed that house to him. He ignored me. Aafter Chrissy was sleeping soundly I took a shower and felt so bad I crept down the hall and knocked on his door. He called out, 'Go away Jennifer. You and I have a problem and talking won't solve it. Good night.' So communication between us ceased except where it concerned our child or household items and virtual separation continued unchanged." John said, "So the following Wednesday night, what happened?" She said, "That was last night. Again the neighbors couldn't take me to the volunteer session because of running errands on their way and so Mark picked me up. We didn't go to the church, however, as we went to a small hotel near our house and it was the best sex I had had with him and we did all the usual things. After we were spent, Mark said, 'Jennifer, we must break off our relationship. I heard talk about us.' And of course he talked about our being weak and getting forgiveness blah blah blah. Then I started screaming at him but he just put his clothes on and left me 20 dollars for cab fare and said, 'I am leaving now. You should call a taxi. By the way,' he asked pointedly, 'Didn't you say you once sang in the choir at the Methodist church?' and walked out the door." "So, what did Richard say about your coming home in a taxi?" She said, "He remained locked in his room. But the worst experience of all was to come. He was playing an MP3 file that piped sound to speakers all over the house. It was the conversation between the pastor and me the first time we got it on behind the darkened strip mall and the second time in the church warehouse. I screamed. Then it dawned on me that since he was a techie he engineered this and I should have thought that he might do something like that. I was livid with anger and hurt. I searched my purse and found his micro recorder there that looked like a tube of lipstick, still recording. I screamed again and took it out and hammered it so that, at least, Mark and my farewell conversation would not be available to him. I banged on his door and said, 'Richard, we have got to talk.' He replied, 'No we don't. Please check on our child and go to sleep. Goodnight.'" She concluded, "When you heard me paged to the operations manager's office this morning, I was served with a divorce petition. And that is why I am in a bad mood. I will still live at home but I will find an attorney tomorrow - so you won't see me until lunch time." Showing him the documents she continued, "I read this petition in the ladies room. He is asking for joint custody with our child living with him and a small child support payment from me which seems reasonable." John asked, "So you are really going home and continue living your virtual separation life? until when?" "Until I find somewhere else to live or until he deploys, I guess." John stood up and took both her hands in his and said, "Jennifer, we have been close for a long time. I am very sorry about this, especially for Chrissy. But, I am here for you if you need me." She asked, "John, I have a special request since I feel so badly. Would like to get take out and for us to go to your apartment after work? I don't want to go home but I will need to stop off and spend some time with Chrissy. I can meet you there in about an hour or so after work. Is that O.K.?" John said, "I will be waiting. On second thought, why not bring a dress and your toilet kit for tomorrow's attorney visit and sleep in my bed? I will sleep on the Couch - it is a daybed. Also, since hot food is better than cold, why not stop by and get us something," as he handed her 15 dollars?" "O.K." ——— Later after work John was relaxing and there was a knock. "Come in, it's open." Jennifer rushed in and said, "I put Chrissy to bed and read to her. She is in a good mood now so I feel good. Lets eat." After dinner she noticed John getting his daybed ready and asked, "John, do you find me sexually attractive?" "Yes. Very. Why do you ask?" "Why can we not sleep together in your bed?" John chuckled and asked, "Why? Because you have been rejected by two men and want to prove to yourself that you are still desirable. When and if I see in your face that it is John that you want, and only John, and you have no concern about anyone else, then we may sleep in the same bed." She asked, "I know you are an unusual man, but let me ask you this. When you play with yourself in the shower do you visualize men or women as partners?" "Obviously you are asking if I am gay. The answer is no, but I would be that - or anything else I wanted to be - if that were my desire. But, I think about one woman. Just you, Jennifer." "But yet, we can not sleep together. In a way I see your point of view and I would like to love some man and vice versa so much until others were unimportant to either of us." Turning her embarrassment into a light joke he said, "I am available, best friend, as soon as you screw your head on right," he said as stood and continued, "Let's unload your car." ——— Jennifer found a lawyer based on a co-worker's recommendation. She made only one change stipulation, that the child - reside in Dallas or an adjoining county. She paid her fee and when parting he said, "We will see what the opposition says about this change." She left the attorney's office and went to work arriving there at lunch time. She went to the outdoor seating area and sat down by John. She said, "I have no food but I will watch you eat." He said, "Here. Have half of my PBJ sandwich," Since he did it reflexively, his thoughtfulness astounded her. Then her cell rang and it was her husband. She said, "Hello Richard," with food in her mouth. In a moment she said, "Will do. Thanks for calling." Click She looked at John and said, "Would you like to hang out with Chrissy and me this weekend? I will cook you a scrumptious meal Friday night at my home?" He smiled and said, "Well, because I am tired of my less than gourmet take-outs, I would love to. Thanks for inviting me." Friday evening Jennifer served them a plate full of garden vegetables and a small piece of beef along with some very dense bread. John said, "Wow! That is the best meal I have had in forever!" Jenny said, "But, save room for desert." She brought a piece of strawberry-rhubarb pie she had cooked earlier that week that was a record setter for him. He said, "Wow thanks for dinner. I now need to go lie on the floor because I ate too much." She smiled and said, "Go right ahead and I will join you as soon as the kitchen has been cleaned up." In about 15 minutes Jennifer found Chrissy sitting on John's chest barking her doll dog at him. She paused unseen by the two and thought, "Wow! He is so relaxed and natural around her until she continues to become closer to him." Both intermittently roared with laughter and she decided not to interrupt them for a while. She sat at the dining room table planning a budget for finding a place to live. Finally she walked in and said, "I hate to break this up guys but it's time for Chrissy's bath and for me to read to her. If you will entertain yourself for a few, John, I will later join you. O.K.?" "By all means. Give me a hug, Chrissy, please?" She not only hugged him but she kissed him on the cheek. He continued, "We will do something fun tomorrow." After they had left the room, John sat on the couch and took out his Kindle. An hour or so later John looked over his shoulder and there was a naked Jennifer toweling her hair. He stood up at the unexpected sight and said, "You look a lot better in person than you do in my imagination. Thanks for the show." "You know, John, I just don't understand you. You think about making love to me when you masturbate and when I offer myself to you because I want to feel you inside me, you refuse. Please help me understand." John said, "Sure put on a robe and lets talk." When she returned to the room and sat across from him, John said, "Jennifer, we have been close friends for 3 years. I would give you anything I have if you needed it. We are so much alike in our sense of things - for example, every movie I like you not only have seen it but bought it and saw it again. In fact, if you were not in my life, replacing you would be damn near impossible." She immediately knelt beside him and said, "John, those are my exact sentiments." He held his hand up and asked, "Did you ever wonder why you stayed with Richard in a loveless marriage or had a fling with the preacher-boy? Well, the answer applies to us. If we were to have an affair, it would be wonderful for me and O.K. for you but ONLY FOR A WHILE. And in time I would have become attached to Chrissy and emotionally dependent on you and really enjoying our life together." She interrupted and said, "I get it. Then another Richard or Preacher-boy would float through my life and off I would go abandoning you." "Yep! But that is only half of the problem. When one has devils banging around in ones head, the observer can not even guess what the next step the poor victim will take. By 'devils' I mean, severe value conflicts in what's really important. Moreover, these devils steal all the joy from life and the sufferer muddles through on the day to day lookout for excitement - e.g., the next preacher-boy." She sighed, "I am beginning to see. So you are a loner, mostly because you naturally shy away from those of us who have devils banging around in our heads." He smiled and said, "Being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship - although neither state is enjoyable. But I haven't been entirely alone because I have a best friend, you, and vice versa. And I think we like each other because both of us are very good at what we do - you just happen to be to some extent beautiful while I am not handsome and you are torn up with more conflicts than me." "Oh yes, John. Then you don't think I am a wannabe slut since I threw myself at these two men and then you earlier?" "No, Jennifer, all sluts and wannabe sluts are just confused as as to what is important as I have described before, in the same way that Randy males are. The more dazed and confused one becomes the more likely that hormone flow drives one's decisions. You and I can beat the odds and let clear thinking drive our feelings, not hormones, but it's damn difficult to get there - few make it because it takes time and effort." She got off her knees and sat beside him and grabbed his head and kissed him. She said, "Mister Warman, I am going to bolt myself to you while I figure out how to untangle my mind. Are you up to that, best friend?" "It's music to my ears. Thanks for the vote of confidence and for being my friend." "Speaking of tomorrow, "Were you serious about the zoo or the aquarium outing tomorrow - you will break Chrissy's heart if you weren't? " John stood up and said, "Yes. Hey, I will pick you two up about ten in the morning. O.K.?" By this time, Jennifer was crying with happiness even as she was holding on to him and said, "We will be ready." She followed him to the front door and he turned and held her close to him. After kissing her lightly on the lips and said, "Hey Best Friend! You will get through this and Chrissy will get through this and we are going to find happiness together. Believe it!" "O.K., man I love." ---------------- During the next month, her divorce had been approved by the bench with the one change she had stipulated. During that interval, John and Jennifer now had different lunch break times with the thought of joining others since the two spent so much time together after work. The Spring months in Dallas are sometimes very warm and this year was one such. So the work place was unusually busy - machines with moving parts broke more often seemingly. Jennifer still lived in Richard's house although he was winding up his stateside detail for deployment soon. The divorced couples only conversation was about their child. They cooked and ate separately with Jennifer taking the lead on childcare. On many days, Jennifer and Chrissy spent the afternoon and often all night at John's. Both mother and child had clothes, make up, and toys so that often she and John dropped the child off at daycare and carpooled to work. And in the evening after Chrissy went to bed, they sometimes talked until very late. One such example significant to John was, the two had watched a TV show one evening that Jennifer picked - which she often did. But lately there had been a change. After the show John said, "I want to thank you for shying away from the sex and violence ones with trite story lines in favor of something more meaningful for one's soul. I remember the programs that characterized you when we first started hanging out after work. They were bloody awful, but you have chosen well two nights in a row. What caused the change?" She smiled and said, "All compliments are appreciated. But, my favorite scene in tonight's movie was where Elizabeth Bennett tells Lady Catherine de Bourg to go to hell. I saw me on screen, John. Moreover, Elizabeth Bennett ultimately got her man, Mister Darcy, and so will I get John Warman." John said, "I have always enjoyed that movie but refresh my memory of the particular screen action if you would?" Jennifer gave him the setup and recited from memory, "Jane Bennett said to the Witch Hazel Lady: "... I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will... constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me...." John chuckled and replied, "Oh Yeah. I liked that, too, and it empowers the women folk who admire the young Elizabeth Bennett." A week or so later on a Friday afternoon the company's senior staff had taken off from work early to start their weekend. The city counter had several people waiting to buy parts. When a loud verbal altercation took place between a customer and a counter sales trainee, Jennifer walked out to that area. Recognizing the customer's company as her account from the logo on his uniform, she stated her name and said to the hot-head technician, "I am on the phone every day with your Mr. Grassley. Why not tell me what we did wrong?" By this time the remaining employees were peering at the counter area to see the action, including John Warman. The young customer cooled down and he and Jennifer chatted softly a couple of minutes and then Jennifer said, "Why not buy 4 different sizes of these parts and bring the three that don't fit back for full credit? You will be sure to have the correct part for your weekend work." The youngster said, "That makes sense. Thanks Ma'am." The interest in the city counter area died as the trainee-counter man wrote up the ticket and fetched the additional parts. The thing that impressed John and the warehouse staff the most, however, was her relationships with co-workers had vastly improved. She no longer raised her voice when someone made a stupid order pulling error. she now walked out to the order puller with the shipped part in one hand and the part that should been shipped in the other and said, almost whispering, "Do you see the minor difference in the stock numbers but what he got is not anything near what he needs. Please help us all to pay attention to details, O.K.?" John had been observing with extreme pleasure as these and other changes took place and beamed with happiness inside himself. He said as they were driving to his apartment in his car, "Best buddy, thank you for hanging out with me. I look forward to those evenings when you visit. Once at his apartment Jennifer said,"Richard flies Monday so he will be spending the weekend with our daughter. It's just you and me..., any suggestions?" When Does Cheating Actually Start? John noticed that she still had one of her prettier dresses on from work. He said, "I am very impressed that you professionally handled that altercation on the city counter recently." He held on to her hand after shaking it in congratulatory fashion and said, "Confused and mixed up people rarely step forward to do anything, as it's more comfortable to 'let someone else do something.'" "Well, thank you, Mr. Warman." "Well, Ms Jenny, I propose I shower and put on nice clothes to match yours and lets go to a fine restaurant of your choice." She said, "My thoughts entirely," as she pulled out a newspaper page and showed John a particular advertisement and said, "It's a seafood restaurant and there is a live piano base drum trio playing - wear your leather soled shoes because they have a small dance floor. O.K.?" They walked into John's apartment afterwards very late. But they were laughing and singing a song that had been performed that both liked immensely. John took her to the one bedroom where she and Chrissy slept when visiting. He said, "Goodnight sweet heart, Goodnight...," singing the song. A half hour later the lights were out but neither could go to sleep. John remembered holding her close and her smiling at his erection on the dance floor. He said softly to himself, 'Dammit!' Then, he got up from the day-bed, dropped his boxers, and made his way to her door. He reached to open it... Jennifer lay in bed remembering his giant erection when he had pulled her body up against his in a tango number. Sweat was breaking out on her forehead. She thought, "John is the only man I ever loved, and I didn't know it until recently. I am not going to take this anymore." She got out of bed and dropped her gown. She made her way to the door. She opened it and there was John, naked, and his erection stood straight out. They wrestled each other to the floor and finally to the bed. At three a.m., two hours later, they were both spent. She finally said, "Everybody thinks you are simply an impotent introverted Nerd - wow! Are they ever wrong. I have orgasmed more in one session than I did the first year of my marriage to Richard." "Well, my Darling Jennifer - different from my Buddy Jennifer - don't say it was Richard's fault. Lets face it, you guys had a few dates and you got pregnant with Chrissy accidentally. By the time you got married, the pepper plant had wilted, right?" "Obviously,' she said, "That is the case, and you knew this all along, didn't you?" John said, "Well, I knew that you guys were not in love. I also knew that sooner or later one of you would split because when either or both partners are not in love screwing around just happens - all it takes is desire and opportunity and a man like Richard will not tolerate that. You had both desire and opportunity with the preacher-boy and you did what came natural." She smiled and said, "Obviously you are right. The way I feel about you now, John, if I were to see the Blond Flash from Faith Hill I would simply yawn." John had a wide total-pleasure grin on his face that said he was totally pleased and said, "Want to hang out with me after work most every day? Jennifer, I love you so much. Thanks for being patient with me." "Yes, let's hang out because we have lots of catching up to do. I figured out I was in love with you when you became my anchor in all my craziness. Chrissy and I are part of you now." Saturday night John and Jen were on the daybed watching a dramatic movie about 7:15. There was a knock on the door and John paused the movie and went to answer it. Looking through the security port there stood Richard. For one brief moment he feared that he wanted to reconcile with Jen, but he opened the door to face whatever. Chrissy had been standing beside her father unseen and then rushed into the room and right into John's arms. He picked her up. By that time her mother was standing behind John. Richard asked, "May I talk to you guys for a few minutes?" John said, "Sure, come on in and have a seat - coffee or tea?" He came in and said, "Nothing for me." After they were seated and Chrissy had gone to the Bedroom where her toys were, Richard continued, "I deploy to Afghanistan Monday for a year as you know. I would like for you guys to rent my house minus my office, which will remain locked, in my absence." He showed them a signed standard lease agreement and continued, "Comparable's in my neighborhood rent for this much. So if you take off 15% for the room you don't rent then what you now pay for this apartment plus Jenny's child support check to me covers your rent and half of your utilities if you rented my house. Furthermore, Jenny's clothes and other things are there yet to be moved, and moving them wouldn't be necessary. What do you say?" Jen and John looked at each other and Jen asked Richard, "This is too generous, why are you doing this?" Her ex husband smiled and said, "It is generous but the reason I make this offer is that I want you to take care of my house and my gear in my absence and when I return for 30 days after 12 months, I want to live with you three and sleep in that now locked room. More than that I want you two to love and take care of my daughter as I know you will. And, I intend to get to know Chrissy again on my visits and for that reason I will be taking meals with you." John and Jen looked at each other questioningly and both shook their head affirmatively. John stood and shook his hand followed by Jennifer. John said, "You have a deal." Richard paused for a moment and said, "Thank you both and I have one more request." John and Jen said at the same time, "Yes?" Richard said, "My Department Head flew to Dallas this afternoon on a personal matter - one of her ex-husbands and their children live here. But things haven't worked out over there and she called and wants her and me to hang out until I fly on Monday. If I am ever going to get promoted so that I don't make these overseas jaunts I must kiss ass appropriately, as you can imagine. I told her, "I have child duty this weekend, but that I would see if I could say goodbye now to Chrissy now and leave her in your care?'" Jenny said, feeling light and in a good mood, "Of course you can. John and I blew our budget last night dining and dancing and drinking and ....." Looking at John she asked, "Is keeping her for the remainder of the weekend O.K. with you, Significant Other?" With that John said, "Absolutely." Richard jumped up and said, "Fantastic. May I spend a few minutes with Chrissy while you guys continue with your movie?" John said, "Please Richard. Take all the time you need," as he walked lightly into the bedroom. Fifteen minutes later into the movie, the couple heard Richard's cell phone ring. Soon Chrissy was in her Dad's arms as he walked into the living room. He kissed the child goodbye and handed her to Jenny. He said, "I need to meet my supervisor so I will say goodbye to you Now . He shook both their hands and forcing back tears said, I am glad you two found each other and I am glad you are in love because watching you is excellent training for Chrissy - if for no other reason. I better go before I cry. Just continue to take care of and love my daughter, as I have every confidence that you will." The End Epilogue: Richard Thames left on Monday for his deployment. The renters moved into his house during that week. When the Tech Rep returned 12 months later Richard stayed in his old guest bedroom where he found his equipment very, very dusty. Jen and John busied themselves so that Richard would have as much quality time with his daughter as possible. Later when he was packing to re-deploy, Richard said, "Jennifer and John, a miracle has occurred. I can see by watching Chrissy, you two are actually in love with each other. Chrissy is lucky to watch that while growing up. I will see you next year, guys."