22 comments/ 41315 views/ 11 favorites Two Open Marriages By: SteveWallace "Did you have sex with Jill? Did you sleep with her?" Those were not entirely unexpected questions from my wife Laura. I'd been wondering when they would come for many months. You would have thought I'd have been better prepared to give the answers, and indeed I had thought about all the various ways I could answer them as well as all the excuses and rationales. Although tempting, I could have said that I was having one of those age crises, the kind that hit on certain special birthdays that end in a five or zero. In this case, I'd hit sixty. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd been having an age crisis every year since I turned sixteen. I didn't plan to use that as an excuse for my burgeoning relationship with Jill. All the other rationales were complicated. Laura and I had been married about ten years. It was my third marriage and her second. We both had kids and grandkids by previous spouses, and for me, in one case, a girlfriend. In between our various marriages we'd lived with other people, and even while I'd been married previously I had special friends for long time periods with whom I had intimate relations. At first I'd felt bad about my infidelities, but increasingly I realized that no one person was going to provide everything that I needed in terms of mind, body, and spirit in our relationship. I defined myself with that trinity, and also always thought of my relationships as connecting in those three realms, and for each space there were multiple dimensions. I was a spiritual person, so the concept came easily to me, and I lived it daily. I also acknowledged my own high sex drive, coupled with the fact that the women I married tended to be at the opposite end of that spectrum for some reason. I had thought my three wives were rather obvious cases of 'bait and switch;' lots of wild and crazy sex in courtship and on the honeymoon, and then slowly everything sexual or physical all but ceased to exist in our relationships. I suppose I was ripe for outside relationships on many counts. I'd met Jill about three years prior. She was forty, married, no children, and cute as a button. I resisted seeking her charms for almost a year, and that ultimately worked in our favor. We became friends - really good friends, and because she had a lot of free time and I was semi-retired, we found ourselves on the same town committee to build a new library for our rapidly growing town, as well as just able to get together routinely for coffee and to talk. We were in North Carolina, near Chapel Hill, and soon the word was out that we were heading the library committee. Every contractor within a hundred miles wanted to meet with us, present plans, and get an inside track. Our friendship blossomed during long design sessions when we'd go over requirements, suggestions, and specifications from hundreds of people in response to a town-wide questionnaire we mailed. We were allocated town funds to hire an architect, so we also spent many hours with the small firm helping us on that front. There were obviously some core requirements, and then some 'nice to haves' that we could use as options depending on what the town fathers eventually decided as our ultimate budget. In our frequent meetings that first year, Jill and I found we could talk about anything and we did. After rushing through our library work, we'd just talk about anything. We learned each other's history, and then peeled back the veneer we often hide behind with most people. I opened myself to her, and she did to me. I fell in love, and so did Jill. Our relationship blossomed because we became so mentally and spiritually intimate. All that we were lacking by the end of that first year was a physical relationship. Several times we both carefully expressed our frustrations with our spouses and their lack of physicality. We were both careful for a long time not to use that a springboard into the bedroom. This topic was just one of the many things we talked about. Saying that, one might expect that I fell out of love with Laura, but I didn't. To add to the potential awkwardness of the situation, as I befriended Jill, so did Laura. Jill's husband Tom wasn't absent in our friendship either. Laura and Jill would go off and shop or do girly stuff together. If the three of us got together, I might wander off to do some tasks or errands for an hour or two only to find the two women talking a mile a minute when I returned home. One day Jill and I found ourselves on her living room sofa with architect's plans for the new library and rulers spread out in front of us on the coffee table. Suddenly, the library became a distant concern. We kissed, but it was kiss unlike any other we'd shared. One kiss led to another, and then another, and then there were clothes scattered about, and then we consummated that love we grown between us right there on her living room sofa. I hadn't had such an intense partnering with anyone in my entire life. I hesitated to think about the term 'soul mate,' but in those first few minutes when we connected in all the dimensions of mind, body, and spirit, I was left wondering if perhaps I'd been wrong, that perhaps there really was such a concept in the universe of love, and I'd just mated with mine. Jill apparently felt the same way. As we lay there panting after several orgasms, I asked Jill, "When did you know?" I could feel her grin against my chest as I held her. She kissed my skin again. "Pretty much right away the day we met. I told you I hadn't had sex with my husband for the past six years. He's older, but that's not an excuse; you're older than he is and you just turned me inside out with four big orgasms and I don't think I've ever been so full of man stuff ... and ... I don't know how to say this, but I've never felt so close to anyone as I do to you right now." She continued, "My husband's just not into me or into sex. Anyway, I dried up years ago; I figured that was my due. I even wondered if it was premature menopause. It was a rare day in any year when I had sexual wetness in my vagina; even when I masturbated I had to use spit or lube. The minute I met you, well, I flooded my undies. My wetness ran down my legs. I thought you were so sexy. If you remember, I had to leave the meeting for a visit to the ladies room to stem the tide and to try to erase the aromas I was trying to leave around me to attract you to me." I muttered, "Pheromones?" "Something like that. You got to me instantly, and I hoped I was getting to you. You were very polite and gentlemanly. I was turned on, tuned in, and peaked out. I hate to admit it, but I knew right away that we'd make love some time. I masturbated thinking about you. I didn't think we'd have waited this long, but I know we were both trying to be good and be considerate about our partners." "Are you OK with what we did?" "Oh, more than OK. This is the highlight of my life, and I hope it continues. One thing about being ignored by one's husband is not just the lack of physical contact, but it does a number on you psychologically. I have a shrink I talk to regularly; I've been in analysis on and off for years. I lost all my self-esteem and sense of self-worth when Tom turned me off. If the person you love and who told you they loved you stopped paying any attention to you one day, then suddenly you are a bad person in every way you can imagine. You make up stories about all the stuff that's wrong with yourself that turned your spouse away from you. You're not sure why, but you know you must have done something wrong or have a personality trait that suddenly got seen and became the ultimate turn off for your mate." "It's been terrible - every day I've been crying, for years ... and then you entered my life and gave me a smile that told me you loved me unconditionally. I went home that day and cried, not because of the losses I'd felt, but because you'd found me and obviously saw value in whom I was. I was floating on air because after that meeting where we met you came up to me and asked me out for coffee the next day. All you've ever done since then is validate me and send me loving feelings. You're my dream lover." I watched as a tear ran down Jill's cheek. She said, "Oh, Jim, in the past hour you've just pulled me even further out of that deep and lost-lasting depression that Tom left me with. I feel on top of the world ... like I'm manic, only I'm not, I'm just in love again with someone who I know loves me." Jill squeezed my entire body into hers, one of her breasts trying to etch her initials into my heart in the process. "Do you still love Tom?" I asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer. "Yes, of course, although after what I just said you might think I didn't. Don't you still love Laura?" "Yes. I feel the love I'm capable of holding inside just expanded a hundred fold because of you. I can give more to everyone I meet. I feel like I'm floating on a cloud of love." "Me too. Tom has his downfalls, but I still love and care about him. I guess I'm like you, I just discovered I can love two men at the same time." We kissed and I asked, "What now?" Jill giggled, "I'm sort of hoping that if I give you really good blowjob that you'll go down on me for a while, give me another beautiful orgasm, and then make love to me again and try to fill me to the brim." She gave me a kiss laden with a lot of tongue. "Well, that certainly will cap off the absolute best day ever." Even as I spoke, I was sliding down the sofa to the floor and moving between her beautiful legs. I wagged my tongue at her with a lecherous grin, making her laugh; and then I slowly approached ground zero and made contact, and that made her moan long and hard into the beauty of the sunny afternoon we shared. Having made love for the first time, we suddenly had an unquenchable thirst for physical contact with each other. We both found it hard to be in a committee meeting with someone else without wanting to just step aside and make mad and frantic love to one another. We started to make time to be with each other in intimate ways - to make love, and to just be with each other. Two Open Marriages Two Open Marriages "I think we've past that stage. We see each other's weak spots and aren't as prone to gloss over them as we were when we first met. The 'New Relationship Energy' phase is probably behind us. I'd say we're growing into a mature and lasting relationship at this point. It's hard to know because I'm in the middle of it, but ask me again in a year or two. That said, our intimacy is as fresh as it was the first time; on that count, we're still on our honeymoon." Laura laughed and shook her head; "Oh God, I may not survive this whole situation that long, but I'll guess I've got to try. It's going to be interesting watching all this unfold as it does." The rest of the trip home was more sanguine, and the relationship between Jill and me didn't come up again except when we talked about some of the seminars and workshops we'd been in. Two Open Marriages Tom's hedge fund got listed in the top twenty performing funds in the country. He's now appeared in feature articles in the Wall Street Journal, Financial Times, Barrons, and a number of other magazines. In several, Jill appeared dutifully in the formal pictures sitting as the dutiful and beautiful wife besides the newly recognized financial wizard. Tom hit sixty, and continues his frantic pace, although Jill, Laura, and I pull him away from work for a few days of vacation here and there. I have to admit his income stream is enviable, and that he has made a lot of money for Laura and me. Laura retired from academia except for guest lecturing on special topics. She continues with her music and singing. Her groups have given many concerts and performances, plus one group cut another music CD, and several tracks were featured on iTunes. She's become interested in art and painting, and I believe she has a wonderfully talented approach to her work. Three of her paintings are on permanent display in the new town library that Jill and I worked so hard to bring into fruition. Jill and I are a solid couple who are in it for the long term, just as Laura and I are, and Jill and Tom are. We remain friends, although Tom and Laura's friendship remains simple and platonic. I still feel a lot of love between the four of us. If polyamory were legal, I'd marry Jill in a flash. She has captured my heart in so many ways. I consider myself blessed to have two beautiful, kind, and loving women in my life and in my heart. I hope I reflect back tenfold the love I feel from them.