31 comments/ 37391 views/ 6 favorites The Letters By: KJLarson Preface: My wife and I separated after 15 years of marriage. I initiated the separation for reasons that are less clear now then they must have seemed then. Jennifer wanted to preserve the marriage and we entered into counseling. To overcome our communication issues the therapist had us each write letters to each other throughout the duration of our counseling. The therapist emphasized that the letters must be honest; that we had to try to include the thoughts that accompanied our actions. This is the first of her letters to me. Dear Rich, Cindy called and asked me if I wanted to go out with Mike, her, and Mike's friend Kelly Finley. I knew you were out with Debra and I was hurt so I said 'sure'. I asked Cindy what I should wear and she said something sexy so I wore my black dress from Nordstrom. We went downtown to Chandler's for dinner and then went to the bar at the Edgewater Hotel. We had a couple of drinks and then Kelly and I danced. It was all harmless at first but after a while he started to pull me close, kiss my neck, and feel my ass. I could feel he had an erection. At first I was embarrassed but after a while I was turned on. It made me feel good that I could turn him on. You hadn't been interested in me in a while. After a while we got kind of warm dancing so he asked if I wanted to go out on the deck to cool off. We took our drinks with us and headed out there. Mike and Cindy stayed inside. Kelly took my hand and led me to the end of the deck where it was dark. There was no one else out there and it was a nice night. I leaned against the rail and we talked a while. Then he came up and pushed against me. I could feel his cock through his pants. I should have left, but I was mad at you. He started to kiss me and I kind of pulled away and told him no. Then he grabbed my hips and started to push forward. I know I should have gone back inside, but I didn't. After about 30 seconds he lifted up my dress, pulled my panties down and started to feel my vagina. He said, "Jen, if you're not wet, I'll go back in the bar and won't touch you the rest of the night." I was wet. He started to finger fuck me, and didn't stop until I came. I kind of collapsed on the rail and then he grabbed my hair with one hand, and put his cock in me with the other. I didn't want him to fuck me, but I didn't want him to stop. I tried to be still, thinking I wouldn't be a slut if I didn't act like I was enjoying it – but I couldn't help it, and I started to fuck him back. When he pulled my hair hard like you do, I lost it, and told him to fuck me harder. He let go of my hair and started to feel my breasts. He pulled down my straps and grabbed both my breasts. He started to pinch my nipples like you do and I closed my eyes and wanted it to be you, but I knew it wasn't. I knew I was fucking a guy I barely knew in public on the darkened deck of the Edgewater Hotel lounge. It was like an out of body experience. I told him I didn't want him to cum in me but he didn't care, he didn't listen. He just kept fucking me until I could feel his cum inside me. When we got back in the bar I needed to go to the ladies room and cleanup. Kelly's cum was dripping down the inside of my legs. Of course Cindy went with me but I don't think she had any idea what happened on the deck, and I didn't tell her. She didn't say anything or ask anything. We got back to the table and Kelly was gone. I was a little relieved, but a little disappointed. He came back in a few minutes with a room key. He hadn't asked me if I wanted him to get a room, and part of me wanted to go home, but part of me that knew you were out with Debra, and I wanted to get even. I got my purse and we started to go upstairs. He tried to kiss me in the elevator but I was feeling really conflicted and wouldn't kiss him back. When we got to the room it was awkward. He tried to make small talk but it was clear we didn't have much in common or much to talk about. He asked me where you were and I told him you were probably fucking your new girlfriend. I think he asked that because he knew it would make me mad. The room had two beds; he was sitting on one and I was sitting on the other. He came over and kind of kneeled between my legs, started to push my dress up, and pull my pantyhose down again. He asked me if I was going to help, and I said no. He said fine, and pushed me back on the bed and pulled my pantyhose off me. He grabbed my legs and spread them apart and put his mouth on my pussy. He started to suck on my cunt. Though my mind was racing and I was feeling guilt being with him, at the same time it turned me on. He stopped and stood up to take off his shirt and pants. When he pulled down his shorts I could see that he was not hard. He moved towards me and took my hand and put it on his cock. I started to stroke it and then got up and knelt down. It was really awkward, and the few moments seemed like an hour, but I took his dick in my mouth and began to suck it. I felt good when it started to get hard, it made me feel desirable. It made me feel like I had some worth as a partner. I stood and turned around, he began to unzip my dress, and I let it drop to the floor. He took my bra off me and threw it on the chair. I don't want to tell you what happened the rest of the night. He lay down on his back on the bed and stroked his cock. I got on the bed, straddled him and lowered myself onto him. I didn't want to look him in the eyes, so I didn't. I just fucked him and he fucked me back. I tried not to cum but I couldn't help it. I came twice. We didn't talk. As he got more excited he pulled me onto my side, and then rolled me onto my stomach. He got behind me and started to put his dick into my ass. I rolled over and pushed him off. I told him that wasn't for him. That made him mad and he spread my legs and started to try to fuck me again. I started to fight him but that only made him more determined and he shoved his cock in me hard and just started slamming me. He asked me if I liked it and I said no. He said, "I don't believe you." He pulled out, got off the bed and went to get a drink of water from the bathroom as I just laid there. He said, "Jennifer, I know you want it. It's just you and me here you have nothing to prove. Right now your husband is somewhere with the teller from his bank under him. Show me you want it. Open your legs for me." He stood at the end of the bed and waited, while he stroked his hard cock. Even as I tried to fight it, my legs began to spread. He said that's not enough, spread them wider. I could feel my face getting red. I felt so vulnerable so isolated, I wanted just to get up and go home, but I spread my legs wider for him. He said that's not wide enough, spread them wide like the whore that you are. At that point I'd had enough, I was humiliated, I was flush -- started to get up off the bed and reached for my dress but he grabbed my throat and pushed me down and instructed me again to spread my legs. I spread them wider, but even that was not wide enough for him. He took a hold of both my ankles and spread my legs until he was satisfied. Then he stepped back and told me to open my pussy for him. I did. Then he told me to ask him to, "Please fuck me." I did as he said. Rich, I spread my legs and asked another man to fuck me. Kelly fucked me some more and when he was ready to cum again he asked where I wanted it. I told him in my mouth. He never made it my mouth; it kind of got all over me. I got a text from Cindy at 3:20 a.m., she was asking me if I was okay. I'd been being fucked since 10:30. Seeing her text brought me out of the fog I was in and I felt like I wanted to cry. I missed you and was angry at you. I felt dirty and was mad at myself for letting Kelly use me like a whore. Kelly drove me home and dropped me off. We didn't say two words on the ride home. I'm so sorry. -Jen The Letters Tell a Tale I work as a social worker at the asylum for mentally disturbed persons. Many of the people there are eccentric and unpredictable. There was one old woman, who has been here for over a decade. She was always very quiet and rarely spoke to anyone. Nobody knew why she stayed as most of us thought she was quite normal. I learnt that she was admitted for mental disturbance after she lost her husband. I tried to talk to her, but got no response. From her case file I learnt that she was a well known person who was herself a nurse by profession. Her husband was a rich businessman & they had a son who committed suicide. The shock caused her husband to have a heart attack which left her a widow. The double tragedy led to severe depression and her subsequent admission to the hospital. One day, she just called me aside. I was surprised as she had never shown any inclination to talk to anyone. I know you want to help me, but you cannot; she said. I want to leave you some letters. Please read them after I die, but promise you will never share the contents with anybody. I was not only curious, but also hoped that this interaction would lead to more communication with her and accepted the envelope she gave me. In deference to her wishes, I put away the envelope. I tried again to converse with her, but she retreated into her shell. All my entreaties fell on deaf ears. Perhaps she had a premonition of her end, for within a week we found that she had passed away in her sleep. Unable to restrain my curiosity, I opened the envelope she had left with me. There were 7 letters in all. They told a tale of love & betrayal, revenge & remorse. I am compelled by my promise not to divulge her name which can reveal the identities of all the persons involved. I have therefore blocked out all the names. The questions at the end are left for the reader to answer. * Letter 1 14th July 1999 Darling, Why did you not come to the conference? I was searching for you every day. Is there a problem? Or are you tired of me? Is there someone else? You know how eagerly I look forward to these meetings. I had brought the most recent pictures of our son for you to see. If ever you meet him, you will be very proud. He has grown into a handsome young man. He is the apple of my husband's eye. They share a deep bond -- a man to man thing -- which I cannot participate. Last week the two of them went out hunting & fishing. They came back laden with game. Whenever I look at our son, I burst with joy & love. In his eyes I see a glimpse of you. Today is the last day of the conference. I have lost hope that you will come. Do I have to wait another 6 months before we get another chance? Apart from not being able to meet you, I need to know the reason for your absence. As always I have been faithful to our promises. My husband is yet to taste my mouth or ass. These are reserved for you & ONLY YOU! When will I see you & when will you reclaim what is exclusively yours? I do not know whether to be worried or angry. The suspense is killing me. Please reply immediately. Your faithful love Letter 2 A printed postcard 17th July 1999 Dear friend I regret to inform you of the sudden demise of my beloved wife on 10th July 2009. The burial took place at St.Andrew's Church on 11th July 2009. For the bereaved family Letter 3 19th July 1999 My dearest darling, Please accept my sincere condolences. I also apologize for all my horrible thoughts in the letter I wrote you. I know this is moment of grief and pain. Please do not let the sorrow overcome you. Remember the lovely moments you enjoyed with her. She is gone but the love & memories shared together are something you can cherish forever. We are all mortal, and death is inevitable. Once you have settled your affairs (oops -- is it the correct word? I cannot think of any other for now!) let me know when we can meet. I long to come and comfort you, but you know I cannot. Be assured that my heart is now and always with you. I know you are sad that you could not have children with her. At least we could create a child to perpetuate our love. How I wish I could have given you more! As you know, I had serious problems during the birth of our son. The doctors, to protect my life, tied my tubes. My husband & I have raised our child. He does not know he is not the father. I look upon him as a caretaker of your progeny. When our son is 21, I will introduce him to you, his true father. Your faithful and obedient love Letter 4 2nd Augusr 1999 My darling, The last few months have been very stressful. My wife was suffering from cancer. The terminal stages were horrible. She was in pain and there was nothing I could do to help. I will confess to you; and only you. I could not bear to see her suffering. Finally I took courage in my hands. While she was sleeping, I put a pillow over her head and smothered her to death! I do not feel guilty! I may be a murderer in the eyes of the law, but in my view I granted her release from pain. No human should be forced to undergo unbearable pain -- when there is no cure in sight. Luckily, everyone was aware of her health and no questions were raised. I have buried my wife and with her my guilt. I only did what I believe was best for her. I pray you do not despise me for what I did. I hope our love is not weakened by my confession. I wish to meet you as soon as possible. I will come down to your city soon. My body & mind yearn for you. Are human beings not strange? It is less than a month since I buried my wife, yet I now long for you. Life is stronger than death. For all the veneer of civilization we claim, man is also an animal by nature. Our mortal life is but a chain in the continuity of our species. Despite wars, calamities or personal tragedies, the cycle of life continues unabated. It seems perverse, but now we can meet more often. I wish to enjoy the rest of my life. I know that I have lost my wife, but you still have your husband alive. Please do tell me that you will spare me more time. I long to feel you body against mine. My lips long to suckle at your breasts. I still remember the divine milk you fed me while nursing our son. Even if you are dry, at least let me imagine that I am once again enjoying your sweet ambrosia. My cock needs the warmth of your mouth. Let me spurt into your throat. Your anal passage will once again pay me homage. The secrets which are exclusively ours, not even shared by your husband will reinforce again our special love. I would very much like to meet our son. Will you introduce me to him as his father? How will he react? Your true lover Letter 5 7th August 1999 My precious darling, How wretched is my life? You have been through such an ordeal, and here I am, unable to be by your side. I have burnt your previous letter. Please do not ever repeat what you wrote to me. I know how pure your love is. Never feel guilty. You have always done your duty as a husband. Euthanasia is even now accepted in several countries. Only a brave man like you could have taken courage into his hands. I am sure God will forgive you. My love for you has only grown. Please let me know when you are coming into town. I am eagerly waiting to see you and make up for the lost time. Allow me to share your sorrow. Permit me to wipe away your tears. Unleash your pent up grief and let me grant you relief. Let my body be the vessel to discharge all your tensions. Anxiously waiting for you. Letter6 19th August 1999 Mother, I have read all the letters between you and you lover -- my sperm donor. I do not accept or respect him as my father, no matter what you may say. You have turned my whole life into a lie. I do not know whether I should be ashamed to be the son of an adulterous wife or the proud son of an upright father. The picture is further confused when I think that that the man who donated his sperm for my birth is a murderer. How do I know all this? I know you kept everything a well guarded secret from me & my father. Never did you guess that your dirty secret was known to both of us for several years. As you know, my father -- you husband -- not your lover -- I do not acknowledge or accept anyone else as my true father; has been my best friend since birth. When I was bullied at school, he taught me self defense. He taught me to stand up and be a man. Five years ago when we were to go on the mountain climb, we had to give our blood groups to the group. Imagine our surprise when we learnt that he was Opositive & I was RH Negative. Do you know what he then said to me? He assured me that I would always be his son and that he would forgive your indiscretion. He made me promise him that I would never let you know what we had learnt & never allow this to affect our loving family. I know that my father is a greater man than I could ever become. I decided to honor his request, but unlike him, I was always alert to know who my sperm donor (not father) was. You were very discreet and I never could find out any information. After all you have successfully deceived us for many years. Unknown to you, I had hacked into your computer to track your mails. I had almost given hope, until I read the recent exchange of correspondence between the two of you. Dad is now in hospital after his recent strike. I know you have tried to take good care of him, but I don't trust your lover. He has already committed one murder, no matter how the two of you wish to justify it. I do not want him to smother my father to death, like he did his wife. When you read this letter, your lover will be dead. I will not allow him to live, lest he kill my dad. Do not search for me for I can no longer live with myself. Dad may forgive you, but will God? Your bastard son. Letter 7 25th August 2009 Whoever is reading this letter will do so after my death. Mine Is a story of love culminating in tragedy. I thought I was the luckiest woman alive. I had a faithful husband & a romantic lover. I was able to keep the two worlds separate. My lover affair started shortly after I got married. We used to work as nurses in the same hospital. Proximity became friendship and got transformed to love. My husband was a kind and gentle man. Our love was deep and strong. We shared more than physical intimacy. He was my friend and guide. With him I felt safe & protected. My lover was strong and commanding. He was dominating, rough and forceful in lovemaking. He demanded and ensured that he was the only one who could come in my mouth or take my ass. I was forever faithful to my promise and denied these pleasures to my husband. Is it not possible for a woman to love two men? Parents can love several children. In some religions a man can have several wives. Then why does society always condemn a woman who loves two men? Is this not a double standard? I was faithful to the two loves in my life. I first got pregnant for my lover. Although he was hesitant, there was no way I would abort the fruit of our love. My lover's wife could not bear children & I felt privileged to give him a son. My husband innocently accepted the child as his own. Unfortunately the delivery was very complicated and the doctors tied my tubes. This meant that I could never have a child for my husband. My husband & I brought up the child lavishing all our love. He grew up to become a handsome and well behaved boy. He was the center of our universe. Being a boy, he spent a lot of time with my husband who he believed was his father. My husband taught him cycling, fishing, camping and all other activities boys enjoy. He was there to cheer his games and the two bonded as father and son. I was proud of the way I handled the situation. Although my trysts continued with my lover, I lavished all my love and attention to my family life. I was faithful to both the persons I loved. My lover soon relocated to another city. Our relationship was always discreet even when he lived in the same city. After he shifted we decided not to communicate with each other. Our only interaction was during the hospital conferences that took place twice a year. The venue would be rotated and both of us would end up choosing adjacent hotel rooms. These meetings were the high points in our life. We realized that we could not be together all the time, but made the most of what we could steal. Is love constrained by distance or measured by time? The brief interludes we could snatch were intense and we poured into the lovemaking the hunger we were suppressing. When we went our separate ways, we reverted to become loving spouses to the person we married. The death of my lover's wife was the turning point in my life. Until then my lover & I had never communicated by phone or mail. The mails we exchanged set off a chain of events that destroyed my life. As you can guess, my son killed my lover -- his biological father. My husband was in hospital recovering from a heart attack. When he learnt about our son's suicide, he collapsed and never recovered. I was the only person left. Within a space of a few weeks my world had been destroyed. From a woman who had the best of everything, I had nothing left. The stress affected me so much that I was diagnosed as mentally unstable. I have been in the asylum ever since. Although the doctors say I am free to leave, I do not want to leave. Is it a crime to love two persons? Did I not faithfully serve my family? Do I deserve the punishment I got? A confused woman