0 comments/ 29507 views/ 5 favorites Sarah's Quest Ch. 01 By: laserdick My name is Sarah. I'm married with two kids and am 37 years old. You'll notice I did not say "happily married" because that wouldn't be accurate although I'm not unhappily married. Like so many women my age, we are just treading water and a bit bored with life. At this point there must be a little more to life than raising kids and seeing my husband ignore me. Oh, don't get me wrong. He does his fatherly duties by taking our kids to their games or attending school functions. He pays the bills and occasionally takes me to dinner but I wouldn't say he wines and dines me. I get the customary flowers on our anniversary when he remembers. As for sex, he's a prude. Sex with him isn't exciting. It's the same old routine we've done over and over again for years. He kisses my nipples for a few minutes, touches my clit and shoves a finger or two in my pussy. If he feels I'm wet enough, in he goes for a dozen strokes and then it's over ... mostly in the missionary position. He never suggests trying something new but when I try to be creative, he says, "Sarah, I don't need a whore in bed, just a loving wife." There is little value to go on about my husband who is married to his work or the many business trips that keeps him away but it is easy to see that I'm not a high priority in his life. I'm not looking for sympathy here but just an understanding of my situation. I want more out of life and I'm primarily wanting to find out who I am, especially my sexuality. Have I missed out on the those intense intimate experiences that shape a woman's self worth providing the satisfaction she craves? What follows is a long journey with a few detours to discover the inner woman that was hidden between being a good wife and motherhood. Questions about my sexuality lingered since the birth of our second child. The answer turned out to be rather simple. First, I had to experience sex within a variety of sexual preferences. I had to move out of my comfort zone. Perhaps an affair with the attractive neighbor would satisfy my yearning but an affair is just an affair. I could just be fucking a man for the sake of having a different partner who might not provide much more than my husband. There had to be something more to learning about my sexual self than having casual sex with a neighbor or even with strangers. I had to learn what else was out there. Let's back up for a moment and look at my past experiences. I started having my period around 15. This was a lot later than most of the girls so in a sense, I was a late bloomer. During high school I dated a few different boys but none were serious. By the age of 18, I was experiencing raging hormones. Our family doctor suggested I take birth control pills to help tame the hormonal imbalance. They worked. After high school graduation, I had a serious boyfriend and I became sexually active. The first time was in June, actually June 25th. A girl remembers a thing like that so I remember it really well. My boyfriend was over to the house when my parents were out to dinner and a movie. We were on the couch watching a video and of course, we were making out big time. He started playing with my boobs but that wasn't really new. He had fondled me almost from the start. He had my bra off and started sucking on my fully ripe tits. Now we were breaking new ground, as the saying goes. I loved it! This turned me on more than ever before. My natural reaction was to reach down and touch the bulge in his pants and that is exactly what happened. I felt the hardness between his legs but I didn't stop there. I think it gave my boyfriend the idea I was wanting more when unzipping his jeans and putting my hand inside the zipper. He said something like, take it out and suck it. The boy (his name was Tommy) took off my blouse so I was naked from the waist up and I felt the excitement of showing off my body to a boy. My hand caressed his pulsing meat and there was something wet oozing out of the top. Feeling a guy's organ was like holding a warm thick sausage and it was thrilling. My heart was pounding and my head was filled with lust. He pushed my head down to his erection that stood like a soldier at attention. "Go down on it," he pleaded. "Just put it in your mouth." Sucking on a penis was what the girls called a blow job so it seemed that was what a girl was supposed to do. I finally got the nerve up to touch it with my lips and tongue, then put him in my mouth. When I did that, he held my head showing me how to bob up and down fucking his dick with my mouth. I could taste his ooze or precum and was surprised at the salty flavor. Tommy kept pushing my head down so I could take him deep into my throat but I could do nothing more than gag. Other than that I got into the rhythm giving him a nice blow job, my first. I stopped to give him a kiss and that is when he removed my skirt and panties. Of course, even a virgin like me knew what would come next. I sat naked on the couch as the movie was coming to an end and my boyfriend stripped off his jeans and shorts. We were both nude. He spread my legs apart and did something unexpected. I just thought he was going to put his penis in my vagina but no, he put his head down there and started licking my private parts. I felt tingles that I'd never experienced before. I kept saying, "Oh that is so nice. Don't stop, don't stop." This was so new and my orgasm was a feeling so powerful that I wanted it never to stop. He sensed my passion and moved to place his cock head at the entrance of my pussy. With his hard shaft, he rubbed my pussy lips before pushing it in. Slowly he started to enter me and at first I felt a jolt of pain. I looked down and could see he was only partly inside so I wondered if there would be more pain when he went all the way in. There was no doubt that my pussy was wet enough to accommodate the full length of his manhood but would it hurt? Little by little he pressed on until his cock disappeared between my legs. There was no pain and in fact, feeling my love canal being filled with his hardness was wonderful. I never could have imagined such fulfillment. At that he began working himself in and out slowly, faster, faster faster, sliding easily back and forth. I could feel the warmth of another orgasm coming on and wondered how long it took for a man to cum. I didn't know if it was OK if I came before him or should wait. I didn't need to wait long as he quickly emptied himself deep inside my cunt. His spasms pushed me over the hill and onto a wonderful climax. Tommy was exhausted and I felt as I had never felt before. Later that evening when my parents arrived home, my mom asked if we were eating in the living room. I said, "No! Why?" Of course, it wasn't the kind of eating my mom was referring to. "Well there is a food stain on the couch," she said. But I knew it wasn't a food stain. It was a cum stain and maybe a spot of my virgin blood. Some girls' first sexual experience are somewhere between terrible and OK. Mine was a ten. Having been on birth control pills, I was good to go again and we did it again and again that summer before leaving for college. It helped when the girls got together to talk about sex and sometimes we watched a porn video. I learned a lot from the girls and the videos. I felt more confident and enjoyed having sex more each time. I was so happy that summer. I no longer was a girl. I was a woman! College sex was recreational sex. It was all about hooking up for a one night stand or maybe a month long fling but nothing really developed into a romantic relationship. Most of the guys just wanted to get their rocks off in a girl. Us girls were trying to prove our seductiveness and develop a certain sexual self-esteem. Good sex requires confidence on the part of both partners and we were getting more confident each day. None of the girls I knew in college left as a virgin and most with a very strong set of skills to please men. No one got pregnant because the college health services department was very accommodating. One of my friends began acting in porn videos and asked if I wanted to join. She claimed she was doing it for tuition money. I said "No, I don't need the money." I think one of the frat guys got her into it and we saw him fucking her in one of the vids. Anyway, it was fun to watch people we knew on screen. I met my husband, Ted, in a singles bar after college. We hooked up for a one night stand. He didn't call back the next day or even for over a month. Ted said he had been out of town but, come on, he could have called. He eventually got in touch and wanted to go out for dinner (read "sex") so we met again. We had an affair for about six months and it seemed time for him to propose. He didn't. I moved in with him a month later and expected the ring. It didn't appear. Finally, I said, "Ted, I'm tired of being your friend with benefits. Either we get married or I'm out of here." We married and by the time I was thirty, we had two lovely kids. One is a ten year old girl and our boy is eight. I love them dearly. As I said, now I'm 37 and need more in my life. My first step was to see what was happening outside of raising kids and baking cookies. At the grocery store I picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan. That's a magazine that includes articles like, "20 Sexual Positions That Are Sure To Please Him." The ideas were stimulating but Ted wasn't going along with it. The Internet has a marvelous site called Literotica.com. I spent a lot of time exploring their many forums. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I could explore what people were saying in their personal lives and tons of ideas about sex. Women like me were posting on the forums and I was surprised to find out I wasn't alone. Many women my age are trying to find out about their sexuality or rediscover it in a variety of ways. After a week of browsing, I decided to take a dozen nude pictures of myself and post them on the "Amateur Pic Feedback" forum. None of them were overly explicit but more on the artsy side. I wanted to see if people thought I was sexy. Wow! What a great site. The response was fantastic and gave me lots of confidence. One guy wrote that I was his fantasy fuck. Another said I looked like Salma Hayek. Someone wrote that I was his sex kitten and he loved my tits. Everyone was so kind. I got PM's asking me where I lived so we could hook up. Others wanted to do online chats. The chats were mostly guys getting themselves off after a few sexual exchanges. It reminded me of college. A gentleman by the name of "Hardman" wanted to Skype and have cyber sex. What was that all about? Well, it's like virtual sex where each person can visually see each other pleasuring themselves. I agreed but it took me a couple of days to figure out how it worked. Finally we set a time when Ted was taking the kids to the movies and I had some privacy. It was a little awkward at first but once I got the hang of it, I was ready to play. He told me what he wanted and I acted shy. He took off his t-shirt and asked me what I thought about his abs. I said, "Sexy," although he was a bit overweight. He asked me to take off my blouse and bra. I took my time about it. So here we were undressing and pretending to be having sex. Like most men, he was proud of his cock so he showed me his erection and began masturbating. It might have been the camera angle or the lighting but he seemed kind of small. He asked me to play with my tits, then play with my pussy. The point is, I was looking for something different and this was different so I went along with the masturbation play. We watched each other in the split screen as he wanked off and I massaged my clit and fingered my pussy. Hardman asked me if I had a dildo. I got it out of the bedside table and gave him a show, first licking and sucking my toy then slowly letting it enter my vagina. I got the idea from a porn movie I'd seen on the Internet. This did the trick and soon he blasted his cum onto the camera. You don't have to have a big cock to have and enormous ejaculation! I didn't have an orgasm but was dripping wet when we went off line. I grabbed my dildo and finished the job in the privacy of my own bedroom. (Part Two of Sarah's Quest ... soon) Sarah's Quest Ch. 02 Sarah is a wife and a mother of two. She has begun her search to clarify her sexual identity. In Part One, Sarah tested the waters looking at Internet adult forums and participating in cyber sex. Now she is ready to move forward with new experiences. ================================= The next day I decided to raise the bar. I didn't want to participate in more cybersex. There is a small incremental step between porn videos and cybersex. I craved real human flesh. I read Fetish posts, a few orgy stories, sexual role playing, and even "BDSM Talk" on Literotica. By then, I had a pretty good idea what was out there. It was during Monday Night Football when I asked Ted to watch the kids while I was out with the girls. He mumbled, "Have a nice time," and I was out the door. I drove ten miles out of town to what people said was a sports bar. It was time to see if a 37 year old mother of two was still attractive enough to get a man's attention. The bar was busy with young professionals and most of the guys and gals were glued to the TV. Everyone was ten or more years younger than I. The game was in the second quarter when I found a seat next to a nicely dressed man about my age at the bar. We said "Hi" and I ordered a scotch and water, no ice. He didn't say much and to be honest, it was so noisy that having a conversation was out of the question. It quieted down at half time. By then I was on my third drink and Jason, the man who I was sitting with, bought a round for both of us. I learned he was a recently divorced dad of three, two girls and a boy. He was on a business trip and stopped in the sports bar for the game and company. He said it wasn't that exciting watching a football game alone at the hotel. By then, I was a little light headed and told him far too much about myself including my insecurities. Jason was a good listener and empathized with my situation. He held my hand and said that I was a beautiful woman and any man would be lucky to have me. When the second half started, he said the noise was too much and asked if I'd like to join him for a nightcap. I followed him to his hotel only 5 minutes away. By then it was pretty obvious what he had in mind and I guess in mine as well. His hotel room had clothes scattered about and he apologized for the mess. He tried to pick up stuff to make it look a little more presentable, then poured us a glass of whisky from a flask in his suitcase. I hate whisky but took it to be polite. We started talking about our sex lives but I have no idea how the subject came up. It might have been a comment he made about not having sex with a woman in six months. He turned on the TV and dialed up a movie while I sipped my drink. It was no surprise he had chosen porn. I was a little drunk but definitely horny. Jason was no different. More than watching two people fucking on the screen, it was the sounds that turned me on. The woman squealing and the man grunting got me into a frenzy. By the time Jason's pants hit the floor, I was nude on the bed ready for a much needed release. Our foreplay wasn't anything special. He sucked my nipples and rubbed my pussy. I gave him a short blowjob. The moisture in my pussy had built to a point it tricked down toward my ass when Jason was ready to enter me. He was polite about it as his hard thick penis approached my vagina saying how my breasts were exquisite and I had the face of an angel. A girl needs to hear that. I responded by spreading my legs further apart as if to say, "Engulf me with that stiff shaft. I want you inside me." He read my mind slipping his well-endowed cock deep inside me. Oh, what a beautiful sensation! His motion was slow and deliberate. I needed it a little rougher so I whispered ... "Harder, Jason, harder!" He responded by fucked me with athletic energy. At that I took the bull by the horns, so to speak, and decided to try out a few tricks from Cosmopolitan. He was a willing partner. For a half hour I took the lead and we fucked in a bunch of the positions suggested by the article with both of us enjoying the moment. I reached two orgasms and Jason gave out a groan that could only mean one thing ... he was exploding with repeated spasms. His cum was gushing into my cunt in a way I had never seen or felt. God, this felt great! Afterward, I went to the bathroom to clean up, then dressed and began to leave. He said, "Sarah, you are a wonderful woman. Don't change a thing. My ex never allowed me to try the things we did tonight. You are my fantasy lover come true." I said, "Ditto," and added, "The point is, Jason, we needed each other tonight. Thanks, I loved your company." I drove home around one or one thirty that morning. Clearly, I was still sexy enough for men to want me so it was time to move on from this first encounter with added confidence. Now, I wanted to find a younger guy and someone that had different ideas from mainstream sex ... like meeting a guy with a fetish. After some browsing on the Internet, I met a man that liked to role play and he wanted a woman who would dress up like a whore and service him. He was only 28. He liked the fact that I was older than him. It happened that he lived only 50 miles from me so we arranged to met at a motel half way. I found the trashiest clothes I owned and put on fuck heals and fishnet stockings. I told him fuck me like a whore and do what he wanted with me. Obviously we were on the same page! He obliged. We screwed in four different positions keeping my fishnet on but the fullness of my boobs were exposed and anxious for his attention. The fishnet had a slit at my pussy so he had easy access whenever his cock was ready to be satisfied. Toward the end after he had already ejaculated twice, he asked me how I felt about anal. I couldn't believe he could still get hard enough to go another round. I explained that all prostitutes don't allow anal and I was one of them. However, then I said, "Be gentle. This is my first time." So he ripped open my stockings, lubed his prick and my ass and slide into me like a hot knife into butter. I was so surprised at how good it felt. While he banged into me, I played with my clit and our finale was spectacular! He spurted his cum deep into my bowels with his third load and I actually squirted with a thundering climax. "This is what I had been looking for!" I thought. To make the role play seemed more real, the young stranger dropped a C-note on the bed and said, "You're a great fuck bitch." and left. We never exchanged names and I never heard from him again. I cleaned up and drove home in a daze. It would seem that this was all I needed. Honestly, I figured role playing was about as adventurous as I could tolerate. During the following weeks, I played the role of soccer mom and the good wife. We did some family things like going to a circus and checked out the museum at the nearby university. After awhile, boredom set in and I got the itch again to browse Literotica and that got me excited to try something new. As my excitement grew, I looked at porn movies on the Internet and realized I hadn't had many of the sexual experiences I saw in the porn films. A gal online sent me a link to a swingers site. I checked it out and there were "parties" in many locations throughout the country. One was in my state and I sent an e-mail to the host to ask about it. They replied with the details indicating they were "all inclusive" meaning both couples and singles were welcome. It also meant this was a multi-racial club. The location was a private home in a small town four hours away by car. I made reservations by filling out a short form asking for gender, race, age and so on. I dressed in casual soccer mom clothes and checked into a nearby hotel mid afternoon. The party wasn't until 8:00 PM so I shopped at the mall for a couple of hours. After dinner I asked the hotel clerk for directions and showed up at the door as nervous as hell. A woman opened the door. She asked for my name and a security code they had given me online. "Welcome, Sarah," she said with a friendly smile. "Everyone's at the bar. Introduce yourself." People were drinking wine and mixed drinks with soft music playing in the background so I asked for a gin and tonic and started introducing myself to both the men and women. There were about a dozen people mostly in their forties and fifties. We all looked pretty much like a group at a PTA meeting except the women were dressed seductively showing more cleavage and thigh than might be expected at the PTA. Yet none of the women appeared to be what you would call slutty. They all seemed to know each other so I felt uncomfortable being a newcomer ... and I was younger. People wanted to know my name and what I did in life but never really pressed for personal information. There was one lady with huge voluptuous breasts that was having lots of fun joking around with a group of men. My ample boobs looked small compared to hers. She was probably the sexiest woman in the crowd and must have been very pretty twenty years ago. The house had a large living room and a rec room downstairs. There were bedrooms upstairs and on the main floor. After awhile, people stopped mingling and began pairing up. I had no idea who came to the party with whom. You would see a couple going upstairs then later that evening the same woman went upstairs with another man. Once I saw two men escort the woman with big boobs into a main floor bedroom. That is what I wanted but no one actually asked me to accompany them. I wondered if I was expected to take the initiative. Not being escorted to a bedroom could have been because I was an unknown quantity or I was dressed too conservatively for the occasion. I was doubting myself again. Two stiff drinks fortified my confidence and I was ready to approach a man. He was a black man wearing clothes that were probably bought in the seventies. I started the conversation by asking, "Are you here with someone?" "Yes, I'm here with my wife. She's upstairs with Jake and I'm trying to catch my breath after being with that acrobatic lady, Tammy. She's a tiger in bed. You know her?" "No, not really. This is my first time here," I told him. Then he said, "Would you like to dance?" "Sure," and soon his hands were all over me. After a short "waltz" he led me downstairs to the rec room and immediately got down to business by removing my clothes. I was so worked up by the ambiance at the party, I didn't need much in the way of foreplay. I sucked his massive dick for a few minutes until he was good and hard. We started fucking on the pool table. Believe me, that was better than playing billiards. First I sat on the table facing him with my legs wide apart as he plowed his fat dick inside me. His rapid strokes gave me a tingly feeling all over and my wetness helped let his monster cock slide easily in and out. He turned me over with my feet on the floor and my tits resting on the pool table. He helped himself to my swollen snatch from behind grunting and groaning the whole time. His strong arms turned me back around facing him then pulling my arms around his neck. Quickly he picked me up with my legs wrapped around his waist as he eagerly plunged his greedy rod into me again. I expected him to explode but he came without much of a flourish. Apparently, the tiger Tammy had worn him out. I enjoyed each time he penetrated me although I came only once. It was the first time I had a black cock inside me and it was amazing. I got dressed and thanked the guy for a good time. We went back upstairs. The sex in the rec room had me aroused more than ever. I could feel my nipples harden against my bra anticipating a man's lips sucking at them. There were only two men and a woman left at the bar. As I sipped another drink, I got chatting with the guys wondering if everyone had left. They chuckled and said, no, everyone was busy upstairs. I got up enough nerve to ask them something about protocol. "Do they normally allow threesomes here?" They said it happens but most of the ladies aren't ready for that. Judy, the lady with the hooters does it but not many others. They asked me if I would like to join them in an upstairs bedroom. I pretended to be unsure and finally said, "It might be fun but please be gentle with me. This is my first time swinging and I've never been with two men." We introduced ourselves while heading upstairs to an unoccupied bedroom. The men, Brad and Tyler, led me toward a nice quiet room with a king size bed. I was undressed for a second time that night. Tyler kissed my lips while Brad got down to his Jockey shorts. I could see his hard-on bulging from his shorts as Tyler eased me onto the bed fondling my tits. After watching his buddy sucking on my erect nipples, Brad removed his Jockey's and joined us in bed. Moving up to the head of the bed Brad presented his pulsing erection to my mouth and I engulfed it on queue. Tyler stripped down and found my waiting honey pot, taking no time to thrust himself into me. I was sucking one guy while the other rammed into me giving me a strange feeling of being in a dream. Two men couldn't have been more different. Brad had a long but thin penis while Tyler was short but thick. They switched positions from time to time giving me a taste of each man. I had no trouble taking Tyler all the way into my mouth but deep throating Brad was too much for me, especially since he had a large swollen head at the end of his prick. After seeing these things in adult films, this was a fantasy being played out! The two men were pretty much in charge doing whatever that appealed to them. I was getting a good fucking by different cocks and in different ways. What do they say? "Variety is the spice of life." This went on until one of them suggested we try DP. I just nodded, OK. It was something I had never done but wanted to try after reading a few women's comments on the Lit. They suggested every woman should try it at least once. I was on top of Tyler getting pussy fucked while Brad moved behind me. He pulled my ass cheeks apart and spit some saliva in my ass hole. The guy seemed to know what he was doing as he worked a couple of fingers into me until my anal ring relaxed. Entering slowly from behind, I could feel him fill my bottom with his hard heat. They worked themselves into a frenzy thrusting at my holes. All three of us soon became drenched with sweaty steamy bodies. The slurping sounds of sex as well as the animal-like grunts of the men, me moaning and the smell of body fluids forced me to lose all pretense of being a proper lady. When reaching a powerful orgasm, I let out a scream that, frankly, scared the hell out of me. I was finally getting the sexual adventure and satisfaction I had sought. This continued for another ten minutes, maybe less, but it is hard to say when you are being impaled by two lustful men. When the guys finally exploded, they let loose with a massive amount of man juice. I had gotten a full service fucking, a double orgasm and some much needed attention for myself. I showed my gratitude embracing each of them as they were ready to leave the room. They returned a hug, then showed me into the bathroom. I took my time there regaining a little composure and cleaning my private places. The mirror showed a happy lady with a very red face Finally I left the bathroom only to see another couple on the bed already in the thick of passion. I stood there enjoying the moment until the man looked over and asked if I'd like to join them. I almost agreed but it was getting late. A threesome with a man and another woman would have to wait. Brad stopped me at the door as I was leaving and said I was the sexiest woman at the party and that as a hobby he occasionally made videos for adult Internet sites. He said he has videoed a few of the girls at work and he would be honored if I was in one of them. I said, no, but he gave me his business card saying to contact him if I changed my mind. The card read, Brad Forsythe, CEO, and it was at the largest corporation in town. Surprise! I left the party far more satisfied than I had imagined but with my head spinning with questions. Had I gone too far with this? Was I cascading down a slippery slope? Was this an obsession? Shouldn't I be feeling guilty? How far do I go before calling it quits? I was back at the motel around midnight. OK, I felt a little slutty but it comes with the territory. Still, can a woman become addicted to sexual adventures and lose all sense of reason? When I undressed for bed, my panties were soaking wet with a mixture of juices that still oozed from between my legs. There was something almost obscene but stimulating about that. On the way home the next morning, I had a lot of thinking to do. My thinking alternated between craving more sex and becoming the good wife. It was just before noon when arriving home and I had some explaining to do but it all worked out. No one expected I had been on an exploration of sexual awaking. Now, what would be next or should there even be a "next"? (Part Three coming soon) Sarah's Quest Ch. 03 Nothing was next, well, nothing at first. After the swingers party, my hormones continued to flow and I felt like I did as a horny adolescent. Ted was the same old boring Puritan in bed. I found myself running to the bathroom after he finished his dozen strokes and pleasured myself into a self induced orgasm. Spring turned to summer and I was a model mom again. The kids were home from school and we were at the pool and the park. Both kids were playing team sports so a lot time was spent going to games. It was a full time job and no time for me to be alone. You know that summer is coming to an end when running off to Walmart to shop for school supplies . I still love the smell of new pencils, erasers, and notebooks. It always held the promise of something new and exciting. This time, it also meant that I would soon experience something new and exciting for myself. The first day the kids were off to school I sat down to my computer and went to Lit. My mailbox was full but I didn't have the patience to read them all. I decided to read the fifteen most recent messages. It didn't take long to begin feeling the sexual excitement that had started my quest months ago. One of the messages was from a women in the area asking if I was bi. I wrote back saying I didn't think so but I was bi-curious. What was it that she had in mind? This started an online relationship where we traded girl secrets and shared some of our sexual fantasies. She had been married and had some of the same feelings as I had but she also liked women. Her name was Helen and Helen said some of her best moments in bed were with women. Eventually, Helen got around to asking if I'd like to meet her for lunch. Now I had the time so we met on an early Wednesday afternoon at a popular restaurant in the downtown area. I could tell Helen had money. She had written that her husband was older and died several years earlier. He apparently left her with a comfortable estate. Helen was elegantly dressed in what I call sexy sophisticated. She carried a Christian Dior bag and her jewelry was gorgeous. Helen's hair was immaculate ... not a hair out of place. There was nothing about her out of place. I felt like the younger sister wearing hand-me-downs. We hugged and told each other it was a pleasure to finally meet in person. We both ordered salad and a glass of wine. The conversation was your basic girl talk but nothing of the sexual nature. I had the feeling that Helen was a very thoughtful caring person but slightly eccentric. After leaving a sizeable tip, Helen asked if I'd like to see her apartment. I was curious and it was still early so I said, "Sure." We drove to an affluent neighborhood and stopped in front of one of the premier high rises simply called "The Manor." A doorman greeted Helen and said, "Good afternoon Mrs. Price. I'm so glad to see you. You are looking lovely as always." Helen smiled and said, "Thank you, Sam. This is my friend Sarah." "Welcome to The Manor, Sarah," Sam replied. He opened the door for us and we took Elevator 2 up to the top floor. In the elevator, Helen explained that by introducing me to Sam, he knew I wasn't an unwelcome stranger and that she was safe. It is a type of code in the building that everyone is expected to use. On the sixteenth floor, Helen pressed several buttons on a keypad near her door, followed by a click. We entered Helen's apartment and it was overwhelming! The place looked to me like a penthouse. Helen immediately began to apologize. "Sarah, this place is a little over the top but it is what Mr. Price wanted. He was a great collector and loved having his things on display so other people could enjoy it with him. This wouldn't have been my choice but after he died, I just couldn't give up the apartment. Anyway there is a five year lease so I almost had to keep it." "Why Helen, it's lovely!" "Let me show you around." I followed her around. There were two bathrooms, three bedrooms (one used as an office), a huge living room, a dining room, and a game room. Helen said something about each room as the tour continued. "This was Mr. Price's office and it gets dusted from time to time but is pretty much as he left it. The game room was also his. It isn't used much these days." I was overwhelmed by the furnishings and art work. She had an original nude by Matisse and a Picasso from his blue period. There were etchings and Etruscan vases and much much more. Helen said most of it was from their travels. Clearly, Mr. and Mrs. Price were first class world travelers. When I peeked into her bathroom, I could see she had only the most expensive perfumes. None were synthetic drugstore fragrances but a collection of the finest French perfumes. The place was astonishing! We sat down in her plush living room and sipped on a chilled glass of wine. Of course, it was imported French Chablis. Helen asked about my family, catching up on our e-mail exchanges. She wanted to know if anything in the bedroom with Ted had changed and of course, I had to say, "No." Things were even worse. While on our second glass of wine, Helen said, "Sarah, let me show you my playroom." "Really? You have a playroom?" "Well, kind of. Tell me what you think when you see it." This time she held my hand while escorting me to a room that was her bedroom. I had imagined a playroom with lounge chairs, maybe a decorative game table, and a bar but not a dimly lit room with a decidedly feminine decor. In one corner, standing on a pedestal and lit by an overhead light, was a four foot replica of Michelangelo's "David." In another corner on an identical pedestal was an equally large replica of Venus de Milo. The bedside tables held exotic candles, a magazine or two as well as several books. On the bed was a gorgeous lacy pink sheer negligee. Pointing to the garment, Helen said, "Try it on! I thought it might be just the thing to get your husband more interested in playing." "Oh Helen, that's so beautiful but really, I couldn't." "Now Sarah, who's acting like a prude? Go ahead and try it on." I hesitated. She picked it up, handed it to me and pointed toward the bathroom. Off I went to change. It took me a few minutes but when I returned to her "playroom," she had changed into a shear silk nightgown. She said, "Sarah, that looks simply gorgeous on you. Come over here so I can give you a hug." Helen gave me a warm hug and a kiss that was more than friendly peck. There is a point in any situation when you realize you are at the point of no return. That's where I found myself and I wasn't going to turn back. "Sarah, while I light these candles, take a moment and look at one of those magazines on the nightstand." There was a gay and lesbian magazine showing same sex couples in erotic situations and another was called "Bound and Gagged." "I like seeing how couples look with alternative lifestyles and I get turned on when seeing them together," she said. "What do you think?" The candles gave off a seductively soft glow along with a mixture of exotic fragrances. The scents were intoxicating. This atmosphere along with the wine made me feel relaxed and tranquil. I said, "Yes, I can see what you mean, Helen," as I looked at pictures of men sucking each others' cocks. She slipped into bed next to me. I didn't really know what would come next but Helen did. Helen brought her lips next to mine and give me a soft romantic caress. I was caught up in the moment and we began to explore each other's intimate places. Everything went into slow motion. Women have certain sensitivities regarding other women and know just how to respond to each other. She removed my lacy gown in stages finally lifting it above my breasts and over my head. I was nude in front of a woman I barely knew. Helen stood up and took off her nightgown and said, "Well, Sarah, what do you think as she posed naked in front of me." "Wow, you are really pretty, Helen," and she was for her age. Helen was trim with a tight ass but the most outstanding aspect was her tits. They were pendulous breasts, hanging on her chest with a slight upward bend like ripe fruit begging to be picked. Helen's nipples and areoles were totally hot! They were large pink and puffy. I never thought I would be so attracted to another woman's breasts. They seemed to be pleading for attention and I couldn't wait to get my lips on them. It wasn't a long wait. Helen kneeled on the floor on the side of the bed so I could fondle those voluptuous boobs and suckle her delicious nipples. I was sucking another woman's tits for the first time and I had a surprisingly voracious appetite for it. She wasn't idle helping me feel a deepening passion for another woman that I couldn't have possibly imagined before. Helen delicately placed her hand between my legs slowly massaging my pussy finding all the right spots. Helen moved my legs so they hung over the edge of the bed and gently spread them apart so she could reach my tender places. At first she kissed my thighs working slowly inward and upward. Helen had such a nice soft touch, something I had never experienced with a man. Working her fingers inside my pussy, I felt a rush that was a clue to my acute arousal. My face was flushed as I gasped for air. Helen's lips touched my labia then my clit. With her fingers finding my g-spot and her tongue on my clit, my orgasm was immediate. She whispered, "Sarah, I can feel your wetness and a woman's wetness should never be wasted. I want to fuck you the way Ted never can. Reaching in the bedside table, Helen took out a strap-on with an enormous cock and fastened it around her hips. It was the most realistic dildo I had ever seen and it was really big! A little tube of lubricant gave the cock impersonator a shiny look as she climbed on top of me. I spread my legs waiting for the feel of this prosthesis to enter me. Not wanting to hurt me, she let the dildo slip gradually past my pussy lips making sure my love tunnel could accept the oversized replica. I began humping and she responded by grinding this fabulous apparatus in and out until she pressed it all the way in. I could no longer hold back my emotions. I let out a scream and came at the same time. How delicious was that! Helen understood the intensity of the moment and slowed the tempo of her thrusting and finally let the massive cock lie still within me. When Helen withdrew the silicone rubber dick, she kissed me and whispered, "How about another glass of wine to settle us down?" At that, she walked out to the living room still wearing the toy that had given me so much pleasure. It was kind of humorous to see a woman wearing a flexible dong that bobbed up and down as she walked around the room. One thing a woman can count on with her dildos, vibrators and strap-ons, is that she never has to wait for a man's limp appendage to rise to the occasion! The wine helped me wind down from a high I had rarely experienced. I noticed the book on the bedside table was, "Fifty Shades of Grey." I'd heard about it and was curious. I wondered if Helen was into bondage and BDSM. I thought, maybe I should get a copy. When my heart beat was back to normal, I felt obligated to pleasure her. I went down on her shaved mound licking all around her girly private places. Helen guided my head as my tongue licked her juices and my lips suckled her clit. She would tell me what she wanted from time to time and I did as she said. Helen was a patient teacher and easy to please. She reached orgasms easily and had three while we played. For the rest of the afternoon, we entertained each other with sexual delights only women can provide one another. Finally I said, "This has been delightful, Helen, but I gotta go. The kids will be home soon and I need to make dinner." "Oh Sarah, before you leave ... I'm having a cocktail party Saturday night. Can you get away?" "I'll let you know later this week." I dressed leaving Helen browsing through "Bound and Gagged." Helen called on Friday. "Sarah, I just wondered if you would be joining us Saturday night." I had totally forgotten. "My bad," I answered. "I should have called you by now. I'd love to come! Ted is out of town and my neighbor is taking the kids for an overnight." "OK, good. Be here at 8:00 Saturday night and Sarah, wear something less conservative than last Wednesday. It will be an interesting crowd and you want to look interesting as well." "Thanks for the thought. By the way, did you enjoy reading, 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?" I asked. "Oh Sarah, you are so observant! Yes, I loved it. I'm on the third book of the series. Would you like to borrow my copy?" "Sure, I'm curious because so many of my friends have talked about it." "I'll leave it with Sam downstairs in the event that I'm not home." "Thanks!" I said. "So, I'll see you in a couple of days." "Right. See ya then. Take care." I looked through my closet wondering, "What on earth do I have to wear that is not conservative?" The answer was simple, "Nothing." It was time for a shopping trip but first I had to stop off at "The Manor" to pick up the book from Sam. He recognized me and even remembered my name. Sam gave me a beautifully wrapped package that looked like a birthday present. With Helen, it was always first class. At Bloomingdales I found a V neck purple chiffon dress that showed ample cleavage and held up by thin straps opening up the back. The dress was thigh length exposing a good deal of leg which is one of my better physical assets. It looked nice on me and I hoped Helen would approve. It was over budget but hey, it was on sale! Oh, and of course I had to add knee high boots with four inch heels. They finished off the ensemble in great style and the buckle straps on the boots added a sexy touch. All day Friday I consumed the "Shades of Grey." Was Helen into this? Have my friends tried it? Do other women get excited about bondage and being controlled? I only knew about my feelings and I got strongly aroused by Anastasia's experiences even if the writing wasn't very good. Around 8:15 Sam greeted me at the door. "Good evening, Miss Sarah. You are looking lovely this evening." "Thank you Sam. Am I the last one here?" "No, I don't think so. Mrs. Price's guests arrive at unpredictable times. You're fine. Go right on up to floor sixteen. I'll call up so Mrs. Price will be expecting you." A chime rang as I touched a button on the keypad and the door opened to the sounds of Frank Sinatra singing, "The Lady Is A Tramp." The party was already in motion. In some ways the atmosphere reminded me of a movie I saw years ago with Audrey Hepburn called, "Breakfast At Tiffany's." There was an eclectic group of people differing in age, gender, body shape, and clothes. To begin with, the servers from a catering service wore eye catching French Maid outfits and the girls were all under 25. For an instant, I thought of Hooters Restaurant. Everyone was wearing name tags but not their real names as I quickly discovered. Helen rushed up to me with a hug and said, "Let me look at you! Oh, you look delicious!" Then she put a necklace over my head with a rather large name tag at the end. It read, "Aphrodite, Greek Goddess of Love and Beauty." Helen wore a similar tag as did everyone in the room. Hers' read, "Devine Helen of Troy, Symbol of Erotic Desires." If a person was familiar with Greek mythology, perhaps they could match their ancient name with their lifestyle. I was not one who remembered her high school mythology. However, I met Paris (a very handsome man), Apollo (apparently a piano player), Ares (a severe looking fellow wearing a beard and ponytail), Artemis who looked far too young to be at the party, Athena (grandmotherly), Hades (I later learned why he got that name), and others like Hermes, Poseidon (he had a boat), and of course the most dignified man at the party, "Zeus." There was a lively mood in the apartment. The food was great and the bartender served everything from beer to Champagne. Everyone I met was friendly so it was a fun relaxed evening. I left around 12:30 making sure to drive under the speed limit. I didn't need a DUI citation to explain to Ted. I called Helen the next morning to thank her and say I had a great time. She said several of the men had asked about me so I was drawing some interest as a MILF. Helen told them that I was married but looking. She wondered if that was OK. I said, "Sure, fine." For the next couple of months, Helen and I hooked up at her place. She always had something new and interesting to try. After a delightful lunch one afternoon, we went back to The Manor and to my surprise, Helen had the custodian install a large mirror over the bed! She wanted to make a video of lesbian sex. She asked if I would like to be her partner. I hesitated. By this time I trusted Helen and finally said, "OK." Her plan was to point a video camera toward the mirror giving a reflected view of our movements. The camera was already on a tripod but not pointed at the ceiling. She suggested, "Sarah, let's start by undressing each other." That was fine with me so she adjusted the camera with the sunlight behind us giving a surrealistic image of two silhouetted figures framed by a picture window. This scene took some time as we both removed clothing in a deliberately methodical manner. As soon as we were both nude, Helen redirected the camera to the mirror and we began our sexual interplay for real. The resulting video was stunning and because of the lighting, neither of us could be recognized. Helen said we ought to put it on the Internet and I enthusiastically agreed. We had fun experimenting with each other's bodies and some of the new toys she had mail ordered. I liked the sex because it was uncomplicated without strings, yet I began wondering if I had become a kept woman or just a free spirit. The thing was, I no longer needed Ted's Puritan sex. I wasn't getting it anyway. (Next: Sarah throws caution to the wind and jumps off the deep end.) Sarah's Quest Ch. 04 Each time Helen and I met, she gave me the gossip centered around the people I had met at her party. I learned that Artemis was fucking Athena even with a 30 year difference in their ages. Apollo and Ares are gay and expect to be married as soon as the state makes it legal. She told me about certain guys that kept asking for my phone number or e-mail address. Helen never gave away confidential information including our relationship. Yet there was one man that was more insistent than the others that she thought I should get to know. It was "Hades." "What's the deal with Hades?" I inquired. Helen didn't say anything right away, then answered with a question. "Sarah, what did you think about Anastasia's lifestyle in the book?" "Well, it sounded really exciting. It even turned me on when I thought about doing it." "OK, then I should tell you that Hades was my Dom. We split last month so now he is free and would like very much for you to be his sex slave. That's why he keeps asking about you. I put him off because I wasn't sure how you would feel about it." "Was he good to you, Helen?" "Yes, Sarah, very good." "Then I should think about it, right?" "Yes, I would if I were you. I'll give him your e-mail address if you like." "OK, fine with me but there are no commitments here because I need time to think more about it." "Good, then expect to hear from Hades." The way she said it, it sounded like I was getting a call from hell. It took no time for Hades to contact me. That evening my e-mail read, "Text me if you want to be my slave .... Hades," and he gave me his number. There was no way I was going to respond quickly. I waited. He wrote again, "Dear Slave, I need to hear from you soon," and left the number. A day went by and a third e-mail arrived, "Did Helen of Troy send me a Trojan Horse?" and he left his number. This continued for three days when I finally replied. "Dear Hades, I am not interested ... Aphrodite." Of course I was interested but had to find out how badly he wanted me. Another day went by and no mail. I thought, damn, I'm busted. I've screwed up here and that made me want to be his sub more than ever. A week later, he wrote in all caps, "MEET ME AT 1420 PREDENT AVE. AT 10:00 TONIGHT." I did not respond but got a baby sitter and told Ted I'd be out for the evening. I left the house in shorts and a tank top at 8:00 PM. My first stop was the a restaurant around the corner from 1420 and had a few drinks and a light meal. The drinks calmed my considerable apprehension and by 9:30, I was finally feeling myself again. At 9:50, I left the restaurant to check out the address. It was 10:00 PM when I rang the bell. There were no lights on in the house and the neighborhood was quiet and dark. The door didn't open but a voice said, "The basement door is open." I looked around and found stairs leading to the lowest level of the house. There were no windows but the door was open. Attached to the door was a message that read, "Find the key, Aphrodite, and unlock the door. Walking into the darkness frightened me. My eyes slowly became accustomed to the dark as I searched for a key. It was easily found because it looked like a large iron 17th Century jailer's key. The large metal key clanked as I fit it in the keyhole and the door squeaked open. The whole thing was creepy and eerie. My heart pounded as I crept into the room. There were large candles lighting the room so I could see it was a dungeon, even a torture chamber. The walls were littered with ropes, chains, clamps, and all sorts of restraining devices. The tables held hooks, wires, electrodes and boxes with knobs. There were cages and stocks that looked like they came from pictures I'd seen of misbehaving people in Plymouth. I saw railings made of black iron pipes and many more implements of torture. What I didn't see was a person. I seemed to be alone except for a voice that said, "Take off your clothes. Put your arms behind your back. Spread your legs." Once I had followed his commands, he appeared as if out of a vision. He was dressed all in rubber and wore a mask, an executioner's mask. The only skin showing were his lips, nose and his cock and balls. They hung out of an opening in the rubber suit and made for an exceptionally erotic sight. He approached me with a coil of braided cord and bound my wrists together behind my back and then the arms above my elbows. Next he clipped on ankle claps connected by a chain and said, "Here are the rules," he said holding a flogger. "I am your master and you only do what I've told you." He slowly circled me giving me a few light whippings. "This is not about romance. This is about dominance and submission. It is also about sex. I chose you because you are my sex slave. Do you understand?" "Yes," I said with a quiver. "Yes Master," he said gruffly. "Yes Master," I repeated. "First we must see if you know how to follow directions. If not, I will send you home. Do you understand?" "Yes Master. Will I need to sign a contract, master?" I had to ask. "You've been reading too many books, slave. You simply must be submissive and give me pleasure and no harm will come to you. Now, get off the chair and walk on your knees to me." This was difficult but I worked my way up to him with my knees giving me pain with each movement on the stone floor . "Fine," he said. "Now you are to lick my cock and balls but do not put either in your mouth." My head was at his genitals and I started licking his limp manhood. He used the flogger on my arms each time I lost my balance reminding me he was in control. My master was shaved so his testicles were smooth and soft. My saliva began to drip down my chin as I worked up a strong appetite for his stiffening organ. When he became fully hard, I was treated to a nice thick 7 inch erection and that is when I yearned to have him inside me. "Stick it in your mouth until I cum, Slave." I did as he said. He forced himself deep into my throat until his spasms could be felt and the squirts of jizz filled my mouth. "Swallow Slave," as his last drop of cum touched my tongue. "You are doing well, Slave. Return to your throne." By this, I think he meant the chair I sat on earlier. The chair was odd looking. First, the seat looked more like a toilet seat with an opening but it was contoured to fit a person's bottom. The front legs of the chair were unusually far apart with clamps at the bottom. I sat on the "throne" waiting for my next command. Apparently, the blow job was only a test for what was to come. My master's erection slowly softened and I knew he would not be fucking me right away. He removed the ankle clamps and chain only to clamp me to the front legs of the chair spreading my legs far apart. My exposed pussy was defenseless from my master's lustful desires. "Good," he said. "You're shaved," then he placed an orange ball gag in my mouth and fastened the straps behind my head. "You will not speak," he said. "You will only nod your head. Do you understand?" I nodded in the affirmative. Standing behind me, he wrapped a "necklace" on me but it wasn't a necklace. It was like a thick dog collar with a loop at the front. This was followed by a braided cord coiling it around my right breast until it pushed my boob out like an enlarged pimple. The rope was then threaded through the loop in the collar and my left breast was bound. This felt uncomfortable and soon the restriction of blood turned my captive tits purplish. He said, "You have a lovely set here, Aphrodite," and began to gently flog them, first the right side, then the left. There was no pain, just an arousal in me that I couldn't explain. "You like this, slave, don't you?" I nodded in agreement. "Then we need to give them more attention but only after we explore your beautiful cunt." At this my master went over to his table of horrors and picked out double clamps which he placed on my labia with weights at the ends tugging open my pussy lips. It only hurt for a short time until I got used to the pain. "Oh, your pussy is so sweet Aphrodite. I must soon taste the nectar of your sexuality. But first, back to your marvelous tits." He took out cylinders resembling test tubes but with thin flexible tubing leading from one end. The tubing was connected to a pump and the "test tubes" to my swollen breasts. First he rubbed my nipples with a clear ointment. I could hear a pump softly humming in the background somewhat like a Shop Vac while he fit the cylinders over my nipples. They immediately sucked my tits into the cylinders pulling at them until they were fully erect. "How beautiful your nipples look this way," he would say. He circled me two or three times enjoying the view. Walking back to his table of toys, he returned to me. Seeing that my nipples were plump and puffy, he quickly removed the vacuum tubes replacing them with nipple clamps. The pair of clamps were connected by a heavy chain that pulled at my nipples each time I moved. Ouch, they hurt. I began to wiggle in discomfort and wondered what additional pain I could withstand. "Oh my, Aphrodite. You are not to wiggle unless your master has allowed it. You need to be punished." He brought over one of the lit candles and dripped wax on each breast. Every drop stung for only two or three seconds but he kept dripping more and more hot wax on my sensitive mummeries so the sting was constant. He moved down toward my legs dripping more wax on the inner side of my thighs. By then, I became accustomed to the sharp quick pain. This seemed to transform me in some way. I was now acclimated to the idea of pain and strangely, even began looking forward to it. When a person is this vulnerable, there is no pretense of dignity. You are stripped of your vanities. The mind begins to float freely with none of your inner sentinels guarding the gate. Your defensive mechanisms have been vanquished. You simply have given up control and are truly liberated. Reaching behind me, Hades loosened the rope that bound my wrists and arms only to replace them with heavy leather wrist bracelets . My arms ached from being restrained for so long. He moved to the front and unbound my breasts. It was a relief to feel the blood flowing back into my discolored boobs. Two cords were then tied to my wrist clamps, one for each arm and hoisted over a beam above me. He pulled the cords until my arms were raised over my head as far as they would stretch. The cords were secured to the wall keeping my arms above my head like a referee signaling a touchdown. Hades said, "Aphrodite, you have been a very good slave so far and I think you deserve to enjoy more of my play things." At that he opened a case the size of a briefcase and inside I could see many different strange looking devices. He connected a glass "Y" shaped rod to something that looked like a hairdryer. Once plugged in and turned on, it had a slight hum. He began by massaging his prick with the glowing glass apparatus. Each time the appliance was close to his cock, there would be a sizzle-like sound and it lit up like a purple neon sign. He seemed to enjoy it even with a tiny bolt of lightning zapping him. His erection began to become more apparent as each flash reached his penis. Then he spread his legs apart so he could get the electrode to make contact with his balls. "Ooo," he gasped and began to massage his testicles with the glowing device. This time Hades gave out groans of contentment. After satisfying himself for several minutes, he said, "You see Aphrodite, this is pleasurable" It was pleasurable at first as he began using it to zap my breasts that felt like jolts of static electricity. As he turned up the volume, the neon light became brighter and the sizzle became louder as it struck my skin. There was pain but gratifying pain. There was this ozone like smell to the air making me wonder if it was from burnt skin. As he moved the wand down across my belly, I become accustomed to the shocks. It stung for a moment, then after awhile, you surprise yourself with what you can get used to. At my clit is when I understood the meaning of torture. Each arc of lightning striking my sensitive organ caused me to cry out in pain through my still impaled mouth. Soon I was numb. This lasted only a short while before Hades changed devices. Apparently I was going to get the full BDSM experience. This time he had what appeared to be a turkey baster. He filled it with baby oil. At first he squirted a little on my clit saying it would be soothing. Maybe, but I was still feeling the stings from the miniature lightning bolts. Then he did something totally unexpected. "I want you to feel what it is like being fucked by a horse and the joy of its massive orgasm." Placing the baster near my still clamped pussy lips, he shoved it into my vagina until it could go no further. With each depression of the baster's bulb, squirts of the liquid flowed inside me. The feeling was weird but pleasant. He pressed the bulb again and again filling my insides. The oil overflowed like a super-sized creampie. Quickly, Hades grabbed his well endowed cock, aimed it at my oil filled pussy and rammed into me. I've felt nothing like it before or after. Squish, squish, squish as Hades' engorged pole rammed into me. Hades was more than up to the task in his role as my master while he fucked me hard and long. Yet he wasn't satisfied with that. After being temporarily unbound and unclamped, I was led toward another instrument of torture and I could see that his glistening engorged shaft had a purplish-red color with pulsing veins that could mean only one thing. There was more fucking ahead. He draped me face down over a rounded barrel clamping my legs and arms to the floor. My legs were spread and, of course, my ass was fully exposed giving Hates access to the hole of his choice. I had to laugh to myself thinking he had me literally over a barrel. Once attached, he plowed into my gaping oil filled cunt and thrust himself into me with determined energy. The oil and my natural juices made for a slippery mess and a sexy squishing sound but it worked well when he turned his attention to my ass. He plowed his fleshy lubricated organ into my other opening reaming my asshole repeatedly with fast and long strokes. It was only then that he delivered a huge load filling me with gushers of cum. I can't remember how many times I came. Time after time I felt myself climaxing, not knowing what sent me over the top. There was just something about being submissive, humiliated and a sex object that was so very fulfilling and erotic. This just might have been the pinnacle of self-awareness! It took awhile before Hades pulled out of me. He seemed to enjoy the feeling of his hardness being engulfed by my warm backdoor tunnel. I could feel him soften and knew my time as his slave had expired. While he walked in front of me to unhook the restraints, my eyes again wandered between his legs to the opening in the plastic suit. What had been such a vibrant rod of power, was now like a limp rag hanging out over the darkness of his suit. He no longer seemed so intimidating or so much the master. I was released from his powers and free to stand. Standindg was like learning to walk all over again. Two hours of being held captive will do that to a person. Hades simply walked out of the room and disappeared in the direction from which he had come. I looked for a towel or wash cloth to clean the fluids that flowed between my legs. There were none. There wasn't a bathroom or a sink in sight. I was standing naked in a dark dungeon covered with oil, semen and my own juices. The odors were unmistakably that of sex and surely would be noticed at home. I just had to wipe off what I could with my panties, get dressed, then head for the shower immediately when arriving home. I hung my soaked panties on the doorknob as I left. I was home by 12:30. Ted was in bed so he wasn't around as I threw my clothes in the washer and headed for the shower. Sleep came easy. The next morning, after the kids were off to school and we had breakfast, Ted said, "We need to talk." Oh my God, he knows! We sat in the living room with our coffee where all serious family talks take place. This was indeed serious. Ted looked at me for a few seconds, then looked down as he said, "I don't really know how to approach this delicately so I'll just come right out with it." My heart was nearly pounding out of my chest anticipating what I already knew he was about to say. He began. "Sarah, I've found someone else." What? What did he say? Found someone else? My husband is saying he has found another woman? Oh my God! He's not talking about me cheating and infidelity? "His name is Jason and we'll be moving in together in a few weeks. We already have an apartment uptown." Huh? Jason? Jason like in a man? Ted is gay and I never expected it? I tried to gain my composure and gather my thoughts. This explains everything and how our sex life was nothing more than going through the motions. All along he was dealing with his own secret life and me with mine. WOW ... who would have thought after twelve years of marriage? That was pretty much the end of our conversation and I just sat on the sofa in a daze. Ted left the room leaving me to my thoughts. Over the next few days, I was able to come to terms with lots of things such as me reaching out for new sexual experiences and now, Ted's unexpected bomb. The thing is, it clarified everything because I realized that what I had been looking for was more than sex or excitement but someone different from Ted. I was looking for someone to care for me as much as I cared for him. In fact, the quest I was on ... was to find true love. POSTSCRIPT: After the divorce, I took a leave of absence from my sexual identity crisis and moved on with new insights. It took a few months after Ted moved out before I felt confident enough to get into the dating game. The Internet social sites helped me see the many choices, good, bad and ugly. I had dates with a few decent guys and too many thoughtless egocentric men. None were a good match. However, I had a lingering memory from a few months back at my high school twentieth reunion. There was this guy who was interesting and fun. He was a great listener with a terrific sense of humor. We had a great conversation catching up and we exchanged e-mail addresses. I got up enough nerve to write him and he wrote back. This continued for about a year and like in the movie, "You've Got Mail," he wrote, "I think we should meet." We did and did it many many times. Tommy and I married just before my 39th birthday. Yes, THAT Tommy ... my senior year boyfriend!