0 comments/ 46564 views/ 2 favorites Only Memories By: Diane Marie To my reader, it was wonderful hearing from a number of you, a few not so wonderful. I was happily surprised by how many of you said you’d miss my stories. It was a joy to hear some of you say I was your favorite author. I thank you all. This is only a temporary reprieve, my rejection becomes your gain, I really don’t think there well be any more stories. I did learn a thing or two in the last few days, one is write what your editor requests, two if you want to write something different give her an outline, get her approval. Ok I learned three things, the third, don’t make your main character a man in a story about lesbians. My editor said her readership does not want to hear about men. I beg to differ, I’m a lesbian, I like to read about men, they are damn near half of the population. Anyway I had my very first story rejected, basically it was about a husband’s desire to see his wife with another woman. I have always found this desire so strange, even stranger then a man’s desire to see his wife with another man. Both are complicated issues, more so then I once believed. I felt a husband’s desire for a threesome worth writing about, worth exploring because it is not uncommon for a lesbian to experience her first woman lover with, or at the insistence of, their ex-husbands. My belief is that a lot of us repress the lesbian side of our nature because of our other needs, first and foremost of those needs being our need to bare children, be a mother. I also belief that left alone, never exploring her lesbian side, she can be somewhat happy with her man. Once she has cross that boundary, the sexual side of lesbianism, she’ll never truly be happy with a man. It really isn’t so much the sex, it’s what that brings out, the intensity of the experience, a feeling of oneness with your new lover that she can’t feel with a man, and finally admitting and knowing where her heart needs to be. The intensity of real true love, sex is never the issue, sex is sex, love is not about sex, but sex can and does help you know love, it becomes a component of a loving relationship. A lesbian feels the true love part only with another women. So in a way a man brings about his own demise by wanting his wife to be with another woman. I don’t believe we are ever bi-curious, we are lesbian curious. To me being curious about making love to another woman is about desire not curiosity, if something isn’t missing your not going to desire something else. I hide, my first time, behind the label bi-curious, and although I didn’t admit to being a lesbian after my first time, I knew in my heart I was. Many women well never let that out of their hearts, they are doomed, their husbands are doomed right along with them, happiness is within reach but they refuse to reach for it. An easy life style, no, you hopefully find someone, you fall in move, you live as one, you fight, you argue, at times you hate, at times you love. It’s no different then any one on one relationship, but you do know it’s the right place to live. At least for me, when I was with men, it just never was the right place to live. That said, I’m not posting that story, I like my story, I may even expand it, try to sell it else where. I’m posting an off shot of that one. That story was my first attempt to use my male voice, don’t we all have a little of both female and male. I’ve altered this story, changed it to a loving wife type story, I realize my readers at Literotica, don’t really want lesbian stories, at least not written by me, the only one I wrote got very little readership. I do want to thank my neighbor for his help in writing this. The opening part about my character’s sexual growth, of how he remembers experiencing sex, is how he remembered it. The emotions are mostly mine, my neighbor totally disagreed with me on a few things, I did alter some, eased up a bit I suppose. I did feel moved by what I read from all of you, I took the time to rewrite this story as a gift back to all who said such wonderful, gracious things to me, I did have some time this past weekend, I spent it alone. I should not really have spent the time on this story, I have a painting I have to have finished by tomorrow. I need to finish another story by Thursday, but I do have the bases for that one, it’s my first sexual experience with another woman. I wrote a brief story about it for a friends web site about a year ago, that story was my first attempt at writing, it did kindle my desire to write. To the man who thought I was the wicked witch of the east, for what I said to my Father, I have a comment. Yes I’m bitter, and I do have a right to my bitterness, some sins done to a little child are unforgivable. Parents, just like everyone else, have to earn a right to be loved. Some people are evil, if that evil person happens to be your Father, you don’t have to love or respect him. Death does not change that, hate goes on even after death, just like love goes on after death. You talk about forgiveness, in my way I have forgiven him as much as I can forgive. I was the dutiful daughter, I arranged for his funeral, I stood in the funeral line, I kept our secrets, I did not soil his name. Yes he was my father, there is a bond, a bond forged with a little girl who needed his love, he violated that love. You really have no right, I have to live with what he did to me, forgiveness, magic, prayers, nothing is going to change that, I’ll carry it to my grave. ********************************************* I suppose my story should start back in my childhood, growing up, what made me the person I am. What childhood drama, caused my unnatural desire, If there was anything to tell, I would. My childhood was just plain uneventful, normal as far as I can tell. Nice parents, not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. My mother was a little cold, at least to me she was, she didn’t seem to be that way with my brother and sisters, but who knows, maybe that is just sibling revelry. My father had a horrible temper, screamed, yelled and at times throw things, but I can’t say he ever abused me and he did take interest in my athletics, along with fishing and hunting. We did have a knock down drag out fight when I was 18, I’d love to blame that all on my Dad, it’s nice to blame your parents isn’t it, but I was an obnoxious kid at the time. I had a sister almost two years older, we never were close but we got alone, a brother just over two years younger, a normal relationship, we fought a lot but we also did things together, and then there was my little sister, close to five years younger, we were close. I played the roll of big brother in her life. I did enjoy that roll. The only other part of my early life worth mentioning would be my Christian up bringing. We did church, lots and lots of it. Church school and church every week, bible study, church choir, I can’t sing, church camp, retreats, I assume you get the picture. The thing about Christianity, at least my parents version, is that no matter what you do, it’s wrong. You eat to much candy, that’s gluttony, a sin, your friend gets a new bike, you wish it was your, that’s coveting, a sin, you mention it and it’s a sin, but it seemed to me, the worst sin of all is sex. There is a certain logic in that, teach your children it’s wrong, they won’t fuck, if they don’t fuck then there isn’t any unwanted children, or unwanted disease. Logical or not, sex is inevitable, at least for most, it may only happen after marriage, but no matter when it happens that child is going to feel guilty about sex even when they are an adult. Feeling guilty and not doing something are two different things. You can, to a certain extent, get over that, but there is always that hidden feeling of guilt. I can’t really pin point the first time I felt attracted to girls, but I do remember a girl I was in grade school with, 2nd grade. I had a major crush on her. I also remember discussing girls at boy scout camp, fifth grade summer I think, it was the first time that I remember really talking about the sexual aspect of girls with other boys. Talk about some really stupid ideas we all had. Being really, really attracted to girls, attracted enough to rather be with one of them then my buddies, I’d have to guess 7th or 8th grade. It had to be then because I was going steady with a girl in 8th grade, as steady as it can be when your that young. Sexual experiences with girls, I’d guess that was pretty normal to, started with the kissing, then trying to get a feel, being stopped a number of times before that happened. Progressing to getting to feel a girls bare breast, again being stopped a lot of times before I succeeding. I remember being, for a while, obsessed with girls breasts, looked a lot, loved feeling them, touching them, and oh my god the first time I got to suck one was marvelous. Perhaps, I need to mention that I did find out girls like their breasts stimulated, I only mention this because at first you think the girls are only doing this for your benefit, I suppose it’s correct, guys don’t mature very fast. When I mastered that, along with dating a girl long enough, I finally got into a girl’s pants, I learned real fast that stimulating a girls pussy, was way more of a turn on for her then her breasts. As the girls got a little older and bolder, they started to get curious to, they’d do a little rubbing of their own, it was just an amazing experience the first time a girl touched my bare penis. I still remember the first time a girl masturbated me to ejaculation. I was in a way unlucky, I met a girl who was a senior in high school. I knew all about her, she was a cheer leader, very hot, and it was rumored she fucked. At that age, a rumor was in our young minds a fact. I did get to find out if she fucked or not, I wish I hadn’t. I did learn a awful lot about women’s sexual needs. Up until I dated her, the sexual parts of woman’s body meant to me her lips, breasts and pussy. I can’t say I learned a lot, I didn’t, but I started to realize kissing and feeling other parts of her body would turn her on. I learned what a clitoris was, maybe not by name but I knew how much she loved to have it played with. I even learned she liked oral sex, of course that created a problem for me, if anything was a major sin, worst then all others during sex it was oral sex, I became kind of adverse to doing it. I did because if I did, she’d suck on me for a few minutes. But I hated giving her oral, it was hard to suppress my urge to gag. Why gagging I don’t know, she really didn’t smell bad, well a few time she did but most of the time not. In away her scent was very erotic, very stimulating. Maybe my liking the way she smelled made me feel even guiltier. Anyway I developed an aversion to giving oral, which is absurd when you think about it, I didn’t develop that same aversion for receiving it. I might as well admit it, when I finally did fuck her, I came to fast, maybe it was worse that first time but I can’t say I have a lot of staying power, four, five minutes tops. She surely let me know I’d come to fast that first time, and the next and the next and the next. Yes it did cause a bit of a complex, a constant fear that during intercourse that I’ll cum to soon, which I do most of the time. But unlike oral, I did not develop and aversion to fucking. Despite all of that I considered myself a sexual dynamo, I figured I was a great lover. I didn’t get a lot of chance to test that theory, a number of women, but none I was sufficiently serious about to spend long enough with for them to tell me I wasn’t. Maybe if I’d had a long term relationship with a more experience woman, she would have told me, helped me improve. My feeling I was a great lover was an illusion, admittedly I had some self doubts. I never did find that experienced lover, if I did, she wasn’t willing to teach me, it could be either of those. Then during my 1st year of law school, I met Carla, my future wife, that ended my sexual relationships with women. I mean that literally, as you’ll see it was a while before I had sex again, at least sex I didn’t have with my own hand. I was instantly attracted to Carla, it wasn’t just her looks either, although she is a beautiful woman, long thick blonde hair, blue gray eyes, they sparkle, very classic facial features, like a fashion models, someone you’d find on the cover of Cover Girl. Just over 5’ 8" tall, slender but not skinny, an athletic build, almost perfect legs and rear. Not really big breasted but then again not small either. I was at first attracted to her looks, what man wouldn’t have been, but Carla had such a warm, loving, personality. The kind of personality that even if she hadn’t been so attractive, a person would still have been infatuated with her. There was a shyness about Carla, not so much shyness as apprehensiveness about being around men. I’m almost sure, I never would have gotten to know her if our involvement hadn’t been as part of a study group. As time went on, I found her to be intelligent, persuasive, and at times very argumentative. Her study habit were excellent, she was at the top of our class, and was going to make an excellent attorney, everyone knew that. She wanted to be a criminal lawyer, and we were all sure she’d make a good trial attorney, she just had that talent. As for me, it wasn’t a sure thing I was going to make it at all, if Carla hadn’t, for some strange reason, taken an interest in me, I wouldn’t have. I fell hard, head over heals, in love with her, she on the other hand didn’t seem interested in me one bit. As a friend I guess, as someone she felt sorry for, yes, but I don’t think the idea of me being her lover even crossed her mind. Maybe it was her drive, she was focused on one thing, graduating top in her class, and being that she didn’t have money, she also worked nights at a club waiting tables. Surely, I would have given up if there had been someone else in her life, but there wasn’t. At least not locally and she never talked about any men, so I assumed there wasn’t anyone at home. Over time our relationship grew, I don’t really know what happened, but suddenly we were becoming involved, it started slow but it did build until one day she told me she loved me. After that a lot of things came out, Carla had never been with a man before, only ever dated a few. Her father had died when she’d been little, her mother had remarried when Carla was eleven, a very abusive man. As Carla told the story, her mother had tried to protect her and her brother, but she couldn’t. Her mother was afraid, almost paralyzed by the fear, she’d move them out, get a protective order but her step father would always find them. As her mother’s punishment for leaving he’d always beat Carla and her brother, then threaten to kill them if she didn’t come back. Finally her mother just gave up. When Carla was sixteen, he’d raped her, when Carla’s mother came in to her room trying to stop him, he beat her unconscious, then raped Carla again. The only good thing that happened from all of this was that her step father ended up in prison. Carla still lived in fear of her stepfather, he’d threatened to kill all of them when he got out of prison. His sentence, in her mind, wasn’t nearly as severe as it should have been. There would come a day when he’d be released from prison, she feared that day. It also explained to me her wanting to be a criminal attorney, a prosecutor, and her drive to be the best. I was the first man she’d trusted in a very long time, despite that our relationship grew very slowly, almost at a snails pace. We both graduated from school, she got the job she wanted, I took a job with a very small law firm, just to stay close to her. I can’t really explain why but I had this overwhelming desire to get her over her distrust of men, she didn’t distrust me, that should have been enough. I made some friends at work, nice men, men I knew Carla could feel comfortable with, did things with them and their girlfriends or wives. Over time she did start to get over that apprehension, started to interact with other men, even men she’d just met, but I was still her man. I’m not saying that all of a sudden Carla lost all of her distrust and suspicion when it came to men, she still kept taking her self defense classes, and it did take a lot to allow a man into her inner circle, and become friends. It was still a change, even the way she dressed changed, no longer were her clothes all oversize, almost hiding the fact she was a women. She no longer only wore pants suits to work, she changed to suits with skirts. She’d now wear skirts and dresses that were shorter, above the knee, not those the covered almost all of her legs. Her jeans now showed her shapely body instead of down playing it. Lower cut tops became common, in a way her complete wardrobe changed. Even her undergarments became sexier. I wouldn’t want you to get the impression Carla dressed slutty, that was not the case, refined but sensual would describe her manor of dress better. I want you to understand, during this whole period of time we hadn’t had sex. That isn’t really correct, we had sex, some necking and petting, it did start to get more intense about the same time Carla got over her fear of men. We didn’t have intercourse until after she accept my invitation of marriage, I don’t care to count the number of times she’d said no.. For me that was the most wonderful experience of my life. I don’t think it was for Carla, she was so tense, but it was a big step for her. It wasn’t long before she did start to enjoy the experience, I can’t say she ever went wild, but in my mind she loved every minute of it. I really don’t know what went on in her mind, she really didn’t have anything to compare making love to me with. I want to believe she at least liked having sex with me, I know now she didn’t love having sex with me. A little over a year after we were engaged Carla and I were married. We really did have a good marriage, we both worked hard, but we also play hard to. And we did everything together. During that time this amazing bubbly part of her personality emerged, she could laugh at just about anything, she was a joy to be around. It wasn't just me that realized that, our group of friends just kept growing. People were drawn to her, I felt special, she made me feel that way. I really have to believe that other men had to be jealous of me, she didn’t hide her love for me, everyone knew I was her man, her lover and her best friend. That is how I felt about her to, I’m just not good at showing that. If there was a flaw in our marriage it was the lack of children, Carla did want children, just later, I wanted them right away. Funny things happen to people, things they would never believe possible, that is what happened to me. I’ve read some stories about it, seems that most men can put their finger on the very time it happened, I can’t. What ever caused it, maybe it was always there, I don’t know, it just seemed to appear. One day Carla and I were out for a run, we passed some men, I heard one of them comment, as we ran by, "I’d sure like to fuck that lady." OK the comment wasn’t that nice, but that is what he meant. I started thinking about just that, some man fucking Carla, I started getting hard, right there, right then, in front of god and everyone. I should have been getting mad, and I was getting hard. In a way my reaction scared me, but that fear didn’t stop me from thinking about it. At first it was only an occasional thought but it finally crept into my love making. In all honesty it became an obsession, I had to see Carla with another man. I’d love to hide behind uncontrollable desire as my excuse for wanting this, it would be easier to just blame the subconscious, but the honest truth is I knew exactly what I was doing. It really was never an uncontrollable urge, I could have put a stop to my feelings, I could have changed them. I didn’t want to change them, I got pleasure from my fantasies, I got sexual satisfaction from them. Deep down I did feel inadequate as a lover, I did want to see her cry out in ecstasy, I did want to see her lust for sex but I also knew she was happy with me, both as a husband and a lover, she never wanted more. Only Memories Last Forever "Happy Birthday Karen," Jack said warmly to his wife. Karen smiled at him and blew out the candles. Turning forty had kind of crept up on her; she certainly didn't feel her age. But that wasn't the problem. It wasn't Jack either; they had married twenty years ago and had built a happy life together. They had raised two wonderful sons and had been a happy family. The boys were presently away, attending college, and Karen missed having them in her life. Lately she just didn't feel needed anymore, and that was part of the problem, but there was more to it than that. Jack had had a successful business when they first got married; he was thirty years old at the time, 12 years older than Karen was, and already financially secure. He gave Karen a sense of stability she desperately needed at the time. That and his kind nature had attracted her to him immediately, and Karen was happy to accept his marriage proposal even after their relatively short courtship. 'A great catch,' Karen's friends had told her. Her parents gave their approval too. And he was a fine man. Jack worked hard to succeed, maybe too hard sometimes. With the boys grown up and out of the house, Karen had hoped she could spend more time with her husband, but he always seemed to have yet another business matter to attend to. He sometimes made time for Karen on special occasions, but even after all these years he appeared busier than ever. That was the problem. Jack and the boys had lives of their own and Karen didn't. After years of making them the sole purpose for her existence Karen had resolved to start living life for her own pleasure, and had started looking for hobbies she might enjoy. Six months ago she started working out, and was delighted to see how her efforts at the gym were becoming reflected in her appearance. She enjoyed exercising, and her figure would make most women half her age envious. Her waistline was almost what it was in high school, her D-cup breasts had hardly any sag, and her butt was nice and firm. Karen became more confident too. Despite the wrinkles she now had Karen always thought she had a pretty face. When she was dating Jack, he often complimented her on her sexy turquoise eyes. Once in a while she would treat herself by having her strawberry-blond hair and make-up done at the beauty salon so she could look her best for him. Nevertheless, six months later Karen found her boredom returning, and although she had hoped her efforts might serve to rekindle her love life with Jack, nothing of the sort had happened. Jack loved her, and Karen enjoyed making love with him, but it was all too infrequent nowadays. When they first got married, Jack made love to her every chance he got, even coming home for lunch sometimes just to be with her. She loved the attention. As the years passed, however, Jack's business grew, and he needed to put in more and more time at work. It didn't bother Karen much at the time though; running a household with two boys didn't give her much time to think about romance. But now she was in an empty house most of the time, and her sex drive had re-asserted itself. Jack was rarely home though, and even when he was there wasn't a lot of passion anymore. After being married as long as they had it was only natural for that to happen, Karen reasoned. "Oh well," she thought, "that's life." Still, she knew she was in a rut, and this made her feel dreadful. One day Karen thought of an idea to help cure her boredom; she would do some renovations on their home. She wasn't much of a handyman, but learning would be part of the fun. She decided to start with something easy. The den needed to be painted, and doing it herself gave her something to do with her time. Jack was thrilled when Karen told him; he knew she was bored at home. "And," he thought, "I can kill two birds with one stone." One of his employees had a son who was taking a semester off from college and was doing odd jobs to earn extra money. He had been bugging Jack to let the boy help out at the office, but Jack didn't think he had anything suitable for him. This would take care of his problem. Karen wasn't planning on anyone helping her, but when Jack explained his situation she agreed to let him hire Mark. Besides, Jack told her that Mark had some skill with carpentry, and could give her a hand with the other renovations she had planned. The following week Karen had everything ready. Mark would arrive at 9:00 AM the next morning to help her. Karen got up early, excited to begin her new project, and was waiting for him when the doorbell rang. "Hi Mrs. Hughes, I'm Mark," the young black man said. Karen was a little startled. Jack hadn't told her Mark was black, but she didn't allow Mark to notice her surprise. Besides, Karen had known a few black people during her lifetime and it didn't bother her that Mark was black. She let him in, and they got to work. Once Karen got to know Mark, she realized he really was a pleasant young man, and she was glad Jack suggested he help her. Also, he was a good worker; they finished painting in record time, and Karen was happy to have him help her with the other projects she had planned. Mark became a great help to Karen; well worth the money Jack was paying him, and taught her a lot about making repairs etc., as well. As time wore on, Mark and Karen got to know each other better and became good friends. Mark was an intelligent, considerate young man, and Karen enjoyed having him to talk to. She liked the idea of spending time with someone his age too; it made her feel just a little bit younger. If they finished work early they would often go out to a movie or get a bite to eat. Jack didn't mind, he knew Mark and Karen were just friends. Besides, he trusted his wife and thought she needed to have more friends in her life. For the next couple of months Karen was happy. Her home improvements were coming along nicely, giving her a sense of accomplishment she hadn't felt for a long time. Mark had been depressed for a while; Karen learned that he had broken up with his girlfriend of two years, but Karen did her best to cheer him up and, with time, he was himself again. But lately he seemed distracted, and Karen knew something was bothering him. "I can't tell you Karen," Mark said. (She told him to stop calling her Mrs. Hughes long ago.) But Karen was determined, and eventually got Mark to talk. "I've fallen in love with you." Karen couldn't believe the words. She liked Mark, but it hadn't been anything more. She even thought he was handsome, but hadn't allowed it to become sexual. She certainly hadn't been leading him on. But she did care about him, and didn't want to hurt him. "Listen Mark, your a sweet young man, and I'm even flattered someone your age would think of me that way, but I'm a married woman. You're still on the rebound from your last relationship, that's all. From what you've told me you've done fairly well with girls your age. Why would you be interested in me?" "I'm not on the rebound. I broke up with Deirdre because you're all I can think about. I need you Karen, I want you. I want to make love to you," Mark said. Karen heard the lock at the front door turning, it was her husband. Jack walked in and greeted them. Mark got up to leave. "Gotta go Mr. Hughes, see you tomorrow," he said. "Actually I'm leaving for a business trip tomorrow, but I'll be back on Monday," Jack answered. "Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Hughes," Mark said and left. Karen said very little to Jack that night; she was dumbfounded by what had happened with Mark. Luckily, Jack believed her when she said she was just tired from all the work she had been doing. She didn't want Mark to get into any kind of trouble with Jack. She couldn't stop thinking about what Mark had said; it kept her up that night. Karen didn't know what to tell Mark. She didn't want to lose him as a friend, and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so she decided against ending their relationship. Besides, Jack would want an explanation, and she didn't know what to say. Moreover hearing Mark voice his desire for her had left Karen too distracted to sleep. Even though she didn't want to have an affair Karen had to admit that his words had struck a chord with her. It had been a long time since a man had shown such a passion for her, and it was exciting to hear him say he wanted her as a lover. It also appealed to Karen's sense of vanity that a man half her age was so taken with her. And Mark was not unattractive either. He was a good-looking young man with an athlete's physique. "He could have any girl he wants," Karen thought. She couldn't help but feel a little vain about stirring such strong desires in someone like that. Still, it was wrong for them to be anything more than friends, and Karen resolved to tell Mark this when she saw him tomorrow. The next day Mark came over and Karen sat him down for a talk. She had trouble looking at him however; she could see a hunger in his eyes. Mark was barely listening to her. Karen had no idea what he was thinking, and it frightened her a little. Finally, Mark said that he understood that she wanted to remain faithful and would try his best to get over her, but that he needed some kind of affection from her to keep his sanity. "Kissing isn't cheating. If I can't have you the way I want you I'll make do with that. Please Karen, fifteen minutes and I'll never bring it up again." Karen wasn't sure what to do. She was skeptical about this working but wanted to resolve this matter once and for all. If Mark didn't let it go after that, she would end their personal and professional relationship, even if it did look unusual to Jack. "Five minutes," she said, relenting. "Ten," Mark countered. "Not a minute more," Karen replied. Karen moved next to Mark on the couch and he put his arm around her. She sat, waiting nervously for Mark to make his move. Mark leaned over and gently pressed his lips against hers. It felt strange being kissed by someone other than Jack, but Mark was a pretty good kisser. "It won't be so bad," Karen thought. Mark kissed Karen over and over again, sensuously, and although Karen knew it was wrong, she couldn't help but start to enjoy it. She tenuously even began returning them. Mark's kisses became more passionate. One of his hands started massaging her breasts, something that always turned Karen on, and she could feel her juices starting to flow. Suddenly she felt his tongue pressing against her lips and, too caught up in the moment to resist, allowed it to enter and explore her mouth. Karen was shocked by how turned on she was getting. Maybe it was her lousy sex life coming back to haunt her or maybe it was the excitement of being with someone new, but her arousal was overwhelming. Mark felt Karen's excitement too, and became even bolder, putting his hand up her blouse and rubbing her hard nipples between his fingers. Karen felt an uncontrollable need to have them sucked. Karen could feel Mark unbuttoning her blouse and surprised herself by making no attempt to stop him and or resist him when he pulled it off her. Mark then leaned over and started sucking on Karen's aching nipples. It drove her wild, causing Karen to moan uncontrollably and pull Mark closer to her chest. It felt so good Karen couldn't help herself from wanting more. She pulled him from the couch onto the carpet where they would have more room. Mark laid Karen on the floor and she lifted her ass so he could pull off her jeans and panties. He lay down between her legs. Karen was already on the verge of climax; when she felt his tongue on her pussy she had an orgasm so strong it nearly bucked Mark off her. She hadn't come like that in years, and now that she had, she eagerly wanted another. But first things first, she thought, wanting to see what Mark had been keeping from her. "Take off your clothes," Karen said. Karen could see Mark was slightly taken aback by her brazenness and couldn't help but smile as he undressed. As good as Mark looked, he looked even better in the nude, and Karen could feel her temperature rising again. "Lie down for me baby," she sighed. He lay down on his back, with his cock pointing upwards. Karen didn't know if what they said about black men was true, but Mark was enormous. She'd never seen any man so well endowed and had a hard time not staring. Instead, she began kissing him, slowly moving down his body, while caressing the firmness of his arms and chest. When she got to Mark's chest, she sucked his nipples, softly biting them between her teeth. His low moan told her he enjoyed it. Karen excitement was too great to wait any longer now. She positioned herself over his hips, not quite sure how she was going to fit Mark's cock inside her. She carefully guided it to her pussy, and moved slowly downwards, taking one glorious inch at a time. Karen moved a couple of inches down, and the feeling was incredible. Mark was so thick she felt like he was splitting her in two. "I need to get used to this first," she smiled at him, somewhat embarrassed. "Take your time," Mark replied. She did, slowing moving up and down his erection, lubricating it with her juices as she did so, gradually taking more and more of him with each stroke. After a couple of minutes of this Karen was pleasantly surprised that to see that she was able to handle his length. Slowly Karen moved up and down on Mark's cock, savoring every inch he had to offer. She had never felt anything so wonderful. Her breathing became rapid and her soft moans turned to loud cries of ecstasy as she gradually picked up her pace. That familiar sensation in her loins was coming back again. Karen frantically tried to come, riding Mark as hard as she could. Her body exploded in orgasm for the second time and it was so good Karen practically cried from the pleasure. She had never come that hard before and her body felt weak. Karen realized, however, that Mark hadn't come yet, and she wasn't going to deny a man that could give her that much pleasure. She lay on her back and motioned for him to join her. Once he mounted her, Mark was rampant, fucking her with a fury that Karen had never seen from any man, including her husband. Karen still hadn't fully recovered from her last orgasm, but was too turned on to want Mark to stop. After a couple of minutes, Karen caught her second wind. She locked her ankles resiliently around Mark's trim waist and dug her long nails into his muscular back, pulling him towards her. She could tell he was close, and hoarsely spurred him on, "C'mon baby, fuck me, come for me." That put Mark over the edge. Karen felt his body tense as he ejaculated, the jets of hot come coating her pussy, setting off another orgasm for her as well. Karen couldn't take anymore; she was exhausted, and fell asleep in Mark's embrace. Half an hour later Karen woke up. She was still lying on the carpet, her porcelain body molded into dark frame Mark's. She felt that special feeling many women get when a special man cuddles with them after being intimate: that of being safe, feminine, and above all, adored. Karen realized that for someone his age, Mark had been a very considerate lover. Not even her sons treated women that well. Mark began kissing her again. It was so pleasing and so sensual. For the next while, Mark and Karen kissed each other again and again, each time more lovingly than the last. Mark lay Karen down, openly exploring her feminine charms with his mouth and hands. He began kissing her face, then moved to lick and nibble on Karen's ears, before moving down her neck. Karen sighed contentedly and reached up to touch Mark's broad chest but he took both of her soft hands in one of his and gently pulled them over Karen's head until they rested on the ground above her. Mark then used his tongue like a paintbrush, moving all over Karen's chest, licking her around and between her swelling breasts before kissing their milky flesh and suckling on their pink nipples. "Oh baby, that feels so good," Karen moaned feeling herself becoming aroused again. Mark was now trailing a line of kisses down her body, pausing to swirl his tongue in her belly button before resuming his course towards her thighs, but Karen stopped him and moved away. As much as she loved Mark to eat her again she wanted to make him feel good too, so she stood up and had Mark lie down, then moved on top of him until they were in a 69. Despite knowing how well hung Mark was Karen was somewhat awestruck seeing Mark's manhood pointing up near her face. She didn't have any complaints about her husband's size, but Mark's cock dwarfed Jack's. Seeing Mark's coal black penis up close was turning Karen on too. Although she'd never fantasized about a black man before it was exciting to be with one now. It served as yet another reminder of how different Mark was from Jack or any other man she'd dated before. She reached out and gingerly pumped it, loving how the sable flesh looked and felt against her milky hand, then greedily sucked on Mark's hot shaft with her ruby-colored lips. After ten minutes or so of this Karen told Mark she wanted him inside her again, so she got off him and positioned herself on her hands and knees and he moved behind her. Mark slowly penetrated Karen, allowing her to enjoy the sensation. Karen looked back over her shoulder and Mark leaned forward to kiss her, his tongue playing with hers as he gradually found his rhythm, moving his hips back and forth in a leisurely pace. Karen loved it, as well as the feel and sound of Mark's heavy sac slapping her sopping-wet entrance. After breaking their kiss Karen's eyes happen to wander around the room until her eyes fixed upon what she saw off to her left side. She could see the large hallway mirror she had put in a few years ago, and was entranced with the image in it. She could clearly see a large reflection showing a side view of Mark and her in the mirror. She took great pride in her body, and the feeling was almost narcissistic. Watching herself in the mirror making love to an equally attractive male was also highly erotic. She gazed at her naked body and watched as her large breasts moved back and forth as Mark fucked her. He looked great too, with his powerful black hands grasped upon her full hips and his muscular chest heaving as he thrust into Karen from behind. She even caught glimpses of Mark's cock, expertly pistoning in and out of her like a sewing needle hitting its mark. It definitely looked as good as it felt. She had to share this sight with Mark, and pointed to it so he would look. As he looked at it Karen could see Mark smiling in the mirror, and she could not help but naughtily smile back. * * * * * Mark and Karen spent the rest of the weekend indoors. Karen had always enjoyed his company; they were such close friends already that becoming lovers was an easy transition. When they weren't making love they could still be friends, and they got to know each other better than Karen could even ask for. One thing Karen really liked about Mark was that he made her feel comfortable talking about sex with him. Jack had always felt too awkward and self-conscious discussing the subject, and Karen had learned to become somewhat timid about it over the years. Mark wasn't like that at all and Karen liked how he encouraged her to be honest about her feelings. They shared their sexual fantasies too. Just hearing Mark tell Karen what he wanted to do with her got her juices flowing. There was so much passion in Mark that even things Karen had gotten bored with years ago seemed fresh and exciting. That first night, Mark had confessed that he had long-fantasized about spending the night with Karen in the Hughes' master bedroom. Karen didn't want to disappoint him, and Mark was very gallant about it, carrying her up the stairs to her bed where he ravished her until morning. Only Memories Last Forever Karen was sad to see Mark leave on Monday, but Jack was due to return from his trip and Mark had promised to return later that day. When Jack came in, Karen did her best to focus on him but had a hard time keeping her mind from wandering to what had happened that weekend. As she served Jack breakfast she felt awkward, her eyes staring at the dining room table, remembering what she and Mark had done on top of it. In fact, every room would have this effect, as Mark had been insatiable, taking her sex everywhere, even one time as Karen stood with her back to him on her spiral staircase. (Oh those fantasies of his!) Karen didn't really know what she had gotten herself into, but she knew she couldn't stop. She never felt more desirable in her life. Or alive. Only Memories Any man with half of a brain, is going to know his wife or lover is not going to be pleased to know he wants to see her slept with another man. Call it instinct but you know. In my case I just didn’t come right out and say so, a few little hints at first, leaving her alone for long periods of time at parties, where most everyone was drinking heavily. Carla did have a tendency to get flirty and horny when she drank, of course I was the only one who really benefited from and knew how horny Carla could get. Men were attracted to Carla, so there certainly were willing partners. I’m not naive, I realize that no matter how in love you are, there are still times when a person is physically attracted to someone else, even women. My hints were shuttle, but Carla had to have gotten them, she had to have known I wouldn’t be upset if she had sex with someone else. I surely don’t understand women, in my mind, giving her the hints that is was ok to sleep with someone else and then the opportunity, should have worked, it would have worked if the rolls were reversed. I’m sure if there are any women reading this, they’ll understand that my plan for getting Carla in bed with someone else just didn’t work. I think, if the woman was already predisposed to cheat, maybe because her marriage was bad, it would have worked. Carla and my marriage wasn’t bad, granted our sex life wasn’t that great. Truthfully I don’t think that mattered to Carla, she loved me and that was what mattered to Carla. My approach to getting Carla in bed with someone as I’ve told you was a failure, it took a couple of years for me to admit to myself that wasn’t going to work but I finally did. During the whole period of time my obsession grew stronger, almost overpowering, so this time my approach became bolder. My story would become boring and bogged down in detail if I explained it all, so I’ll just give you one example. Carla loves back rubs, most of the time we’d end up making love after, if I’m good at one thing it’s giving very sensual back rubs. One night I added a twist, I pretended to be a masseur, I described him in very detailed terms. Tall, dark and handsome, you might say, although fair, blonde and handsome would be the case, if Carla was attracted to a man he would be fair skinned, have light hair and blue or green eyed. As was my normal fashion I undressed Carla as I continued my massage, always turning a back rub into a full body massage. At some point I’d always move to the front of Carla, if she was in the mood, she’d then unbutton and unzip my pants, beginning her foreplay. When she did so I depicted verbally a fairly well endowed man. Carla played along, she said "hmmmmmmmm nice." When it became real hot and heavy I dropped it the first time, but later adding in as we went along. Even to the point of saying things like wouldn’t it be nice if I really was that big, or wouldn’t it be a turn on if you really were being fucked by that big cock. Carla played along, little comments, little pleasurable noises. The truth is I felt I was building a desire in Carla for another man, maybe I had to some extent but evidently not enough because she never acted on any of it. Maybe there were some signs of that I had, it seemed to me she’d flirt more openly now, it seemed to me she’d take a little more time checking out some of the men she’d see. Little signs, but no action. Finally I just came right out and told her I wanted her to sleep with another man. He reaction was not at all what I expected, she was terrible hurt, she cried for hours. She didn’t talk to me for days, well we talked but it was forced on her part. In spite of my obsession, even I could see that if I continued on this way it was going to lead to the end of my marriage. I dropped it, after some time things returned pretty much to normal. I’d be stupid sometimes and drop a hint, which would start up problems again but overall I stayed away from the subject. But I hadn’t given up, I still wanted Carla to sleep with someone else, if anything my obsession had gotten worse, I now wanted to watch her do so. My next tactic was more shuttle, more shuttle because it wasn’t my tactic, I didn’t do anything, it was someone I met. Jennifer was her name, she was a sale rep for an advertising agency. I’d met her while on a smoke break one afternoon, we both smoked but smoking was not allowed in either of our offices. We’d stand outside the building smoking and talking. When the season changed we’d smoke, talk and freeze. One afternoon Jennifer suggested we go to a near by coffee shop, it was just to cold and windy to stand there freezing our asses off. I surely wasn’t thinking about Carla, or Carla going to bed with someone when I was with Jennifer. Jennifer was gorgeous, tall, at lease an inch taller then my 5’9", ok, my 5’ 8 1/2", she seemed taller because she always wore heals. I do like a women in heals, I’m not sure why but I do. Carla wore them to work only, she never wore them when we were together, not even when she was dressed up. I know that had to do with being taller then I was when she wore them. You can’t live with a woman and not know her tastes, Carla’s taste in men were taller then I was, Carla for some reason liked to look up at a man. Even without heals on Carla didn’t really look up at me, and in heals she looked down. Jennifer’s hair was reddish brown, hazel colored eyes, kind of mischievousness look to her eyes, a long nose, and big succulent lips. She was heavier then Carla, but she wasn’t fat or over weight, long legs, nice rounded buns, full hips, and marvelous large breasts. If I had to chose just one word to describe Jennifer’s body, I’d use voluptuous. Her personality was much like Carla’s, but she was more boisterous then Carla was, and some what aggressive. Her dress was not at all shuttle, she dressed to show off her body, she dressed to get men’s attention. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t attracted to her, I was, I’d be lying if I told you I wouldn’t have cheated if she’d have offered herself to me. But when I tell you I did not try to start anything, I did not come on to her, I’d also be telling you the truth. I’ll take credit for being the faithful husband, but in truth the fearful one may fit better, I feared Carla’s wrath, I feared her leaving me more then I desired Jennifer. Over time we did become friendly, closer then just two people that shared a cigarette together. To say we were friends would be an untruth, friendly acquaintances a better fit. As faith sometimes weaves it web, Carla and I had gone out one Friday evening for dinner, afterwards we decided to go to a local bar for a drink. It just so happened that Jennifer and her husband, Matt, had also picked that bar for a drink. Jennifer came up to our table, before I could say a word she introduced herself to Carla, saying her and I were friends from work, then introduced Matt to both of us. I can’t say Jennifer asked to sit at our table, I’m not sure Jenny, that’s what we called her after we’d become friends, or should I say they’d become friends with Carla, ever asked for anything, but she did say something about joining us, and that is what they did. I wasn’t really very comfortable about sitting with my wife, across the table with a woman that I had lusted after. One I sat with and shared coffee and a cigarette with everyday, one I hadn’t even told Carla about. Jenny’s a smart cookie, she knows men, she knew I wouldn’t have told Carla, all she said was we both had that awful habit, and we saw each other when we’d go outside to smoke. At first I didn’t think Carla and Jennifer were going to get along, they seemed to be sizing each other up, each vying for territory, staking their claim sort of speak. I’d describe it as catty, in my mind they seemed very catty to each other. In my mind, I saw their involvement with each other going no where other then down hill. Like I said before, I don’t understand women, after that initial skirmish for dominance, neither seeming to win, they starting chit chatting as if they’d known each other for years. Typical women stuff, boring, uninteresting, but Matt and I just sat there listening. Because Matt and I were doomed from the very start. He was exactly the kind of man I don’t like, he was tall, I’m not, he had a large build, I’m thin, although I’m in good shape, but Matt was in great shape. Worst of all he had these rugged good looks that women seem to like. I’m not bad looking but I’m not ruggedly handsome, he was. Like I said, you can’t live with a woman and not know her preferences, Matt just fit Carla’s preference in men perfect. It’s not logical, I wanted Carla to fuck other men, you would have thought I would have seen Matt in a better light, she was more likely to fuck him then someone she wasn’t attracted to. I suppose Matt and I did our share of skirmishing for dominance, I was condemned to lose from the start. I was condemned to fake it, pretend I liked Matt, I had no choice as you’ll see. If it had been up to me we would have never seen them as a couple, it wasn’t up to me. Jenny and Carla made plans to go out the very next night. Out to dinner, then dancing. It only took that one night out and Jenny, Carla and Matt became great friends, as for me, not. As I said I couldn’t like Matt, it was impossible for me to be truly a friend to Jenny, I just can’t be a friend to a woman I lust after. I think at that point I still would have had a chance to cool it, back away from them, but for my cursed obsession, you see Carla was attracted to Matt, not a full blow attraction but at least in my mind more attracted then she’d been to any other man. Now I didn’t like Matt, if I would have had a choice in the matter of whom attracted Carla, it wouldn’t have been him. The trouble was that I didn’t have that choice, and my obsession was stronger then my dislike for Matt. I wanted to see Carla with another man so badly that even thought every time I’d visualize them together my heart would sink into my stomach, I had to carry on, take this course to fruition. We became fast friends, I use we very loosely, did most everything together, saw them at least every weekend, most of the time more often. Carla became more attracted to Matt, in a way more attracted to both of them. Jenny liked to put her hands on us, more so Carla then myself. That is Jenny’s way, she is like that with most people, Carla at first backed away from that, but as they became closer she’d gotten over her apprehension, when that happened, Jenny seemed to be more aggressive with Carla. More contact, her hands touching more then just Carla’s arms and hands. Now when they greeted each other it was with a kiss, the kiss had started on their cheeks, but was now on the lips, not really a sexual kiss, but more then just a quick pick. And I did notice that at times Carla would also touch Jenny. Did this bother me, lord no, it turned me on, what red blooded man isn’t turned on by the thought of two women making love, even if one of those women is his wife. I didn’t think Carla was bisexual, it didn’t fit my image of her but I could fantasize. Jenny on the other hand, I had a pretty good idea she was. It was about that time I gained a ally in my quest to fulfill my desire, Jenny. One day at coffee, yes Carla knew that by now, Jenny told me her and Matt had swung before. She came right out and asked me if I’d be interested. You know what my answer was. Jenny also knew Carla well by now, she knew Carla wasn’t going to be an easy sell, but she also saw Carla’s attraction for Matt. If I’d have been a smarter man, I’d have seen more then just that, I’d have seen that Jenny’s help didn’t have much to do with me, I was in a way the third wheel, the odd man out. Jenny’s plan’s really didn’t include me, Jenny’s plan was for Jenny’s benefit, she was married to Matt so they included him, she wasn’t married to me, I was irrelevant but I was her ally. An ally in my own destruction. I don’t need to bore you all with details, I could detail you to death, it wasn’t an easy process, it took nearly a year. The flirting increased, my interaction with Jenny became more pronounced, as Carla’s with Matt. Jenny if anything became closer to Carla. Carla did ask me if I thought Jenny was bisexual, I didn’t lie I told her I thought she was. As much as Carla tried to hide her interest in that, I knew, at the very least perked her curiosity. I had visions of a threesome, of course, a threesome with me. I used the fact that Carla seemed interested in Jenny, I made up fantasies, Carla played along. After a while I added Matt, Carla still played along, it came to the point that most of our love making involved Matt and Jenny, although only our fantasy Jenny and Matt. During this whole time our relationship with Jenny and Matt became more involved, more sexual in nature. You would have thought that when we all became so involved, when we started openly kissing and fondling the other’s mate, it would have been the end game. It wasn’t Carla wouldn’t move past that point. Jenny felt we needed something big, a weekend away, a different environment. That is what Jenny and I planned a weekend away. I should say Jenny and Carla planned, three days and nights at an expensive hotel, an older one but elegant. Our rooms adjoined, each having a door to the other’s. The first night we arrived late, about 11:30 p.m., we were all famished, our flight had been delayed and there hadn’t been a meal served, not even the snack lunch thing. Jenny called up room service to order something, the hotel wasn’t as elegant as we had assumed, room service was closed. Matt then suggested a restaurant he was sure would be opened, Jenny and Matt had visited here a number of times. Jenny said she didn’t want to go out, then suggested a pizza from a restaurant not to far away. Carla responded that a pizza sounded delicious. Matt objected, saying they didn’t deliver, the place would be packed and the service was always slow. Jenny responded that their pizzas were the best in the world and the wait would be worth it, then she whispered something in Matt’s ear. Matt’s attitude completely changed, he was all for him and me going out to get that pizza. I suppose I just assumed that Jenny had offered herself to him for a night of pleasure. I’m sure that if Carla had done that for me I’d have gladly changed any opinion I had. I didn’t have a voice in the matter, I was going with Matt, even if I didn’t want to. The restaurant wasn’t as close as Jenny had let on it would be, it was a good twenty minutes walk. When we arrived it was as Matt had said it would be, packed. People were waiting outside to get in, I didn’t like this at all, I suggested to Matt we go back to another pizza place we had passed on the way. Matt refused, saying Jenny had her heart set on a pizza from here. An hour later we were able to order our pizza, that was a little after 1 p.m. at just before 2 p.m. our pizza was boxed and ready to go. As soon as we got out of the restaurant, Matt took out his cell phone, when I looked at him quizzically, he said he was just going to call the girls telling them we were on our way. It seemed like it took a long time for one of them to answer the phone, it was obvious to me that it had been Jenny who answered the phone, kind of affectionate. I was a little puzzled when Matt said it was Carla. When we arrived back, Jenny was wearing a peach colored silk robe, very short and it was obvious that she didn’t have anything on underneath it. Carla had on one that was identical, except it was blue, again it was obvious there she wasn’t wearing anything under it. Carla was almost gushing with joy when she told me Jenny had bought it for her, while making a point to turn around and model it for both myself and Matt. Jenny grabbed my hand, saying it was time for bed, neither of us eat pizza that night, but I didn’t mind. As soon as we got into our room she ripped my closes off, pushed me on the bed, got on top of me while sliding my penis inside of her. She was so wet, she was so ready there was no foreplay at all. I had a blissful sleep that night. When I awoke about 10 a.m. the next morning Jenny wasn’t there, I assumed she was in the bathroom, she wasn’t. As I came out of the bathroom Jenny was walking thought the adjoining door, wearing her new robe and drying her hair with a towel. She told me they’d all been up for a couple of hours, but she hadn’t woken me because she knew I needed the sleep. I went into the bathroom to take my shower, it wasn’t wet it hadn’t been used, but it was obvious Carla had just taken a shower. The thought crossed my mind that maybe something had happened, Carla had to have used their shower. I got a hard on while at the same time my heart sunk to my stomach. I had to know, after my shower I ask Jenny why she’d taken a shower in their room. She looked away from me, then said, "I just didn’t want to wake you." The next day we spent site seeing, visited a lot of bar along the way. Carla and Jenny seemed to be whispering a lot among themselves, which I took as a good sign. Carla had coupled more and more with Matt during the day, walking next to him, sitting with him when we sat at booths in the bars we visited. After we got back to the hotel we spent a couple of hours in the hotel pool and hot tub. We were all feeling good, and we had shared a joint before going to the pool. Carla and Matt swam together, talked between themselves, a lot of giggling by Carla. When they finally sat in the hot tub they sat really close, I was pretty sure Matt was rubbing Carla’s legs under the water, again the instance hard on, this time it was obvious though my suit, but also that sinking feeling. The weekend was progressing along the lines I had hoped for, but I wasn’t feeling so wonderful about it. That evening after dinner we found a dance club near by, Matt and Carla sat on one side of our booth, they seemed very intimate, speaking to each other in almost a whisper, showing lots of affection. The strange thing wasn’t so much that Matt and Carla seem intimate, that was the plan, even Carla knew what this weekend was for, but so did Jenny and Carla, I was nearly left out. I should have put two and two together, we’d been gone a long time the night before, if I wouldn’t have been in a lustful fog, I would have seen that was a setup. Matt had called the room, warning of our return, and then when we did get back to the room they were wearing only robes. If I’d have been looking I would have seen how much there relationship had changed, I wasn’t looking. The truth was I was stupid, Carla’s showering in their room, her telling me they’d been up a few hours, her looking away from me when I’d asked her why, her new closeness to Matt. I should have known, Jenny the night before, Matt this morning, or maybe even both of them. It really shouldn’t have matter to me that Carla made love to them behind my back, she’d told me many times that she didn’t think even if she did want to cheat, she could do it with me there. I also should have realized that in Carla’s mind it would be cheating, it didn’t matter that I wanted her to, it didn’t matter if it was a man or a woman, in her mind it would be cheating. Cheating changes things, cheating clouds things, cheating makes you think about why your cheating, I should have known. I didn’t put two and two together, but I figured tonight was the night. When we got back to their room I was sure tonight was the night. The atmosphere was charged, sexually charged. Jenny started it off, she turn on the radio started to dance in a very suggestive way. We were all watching her, she undid the buttons on her blouse, she took my hand, pulling me from the chair I was sitting on. Matt stepped behind Carla, put his arms around her, I watch as Carla seemed to melt back into Matt. Jenny started to undress me, unbuttoned my shirt, undid my belt, unbutton my pants, unzipped my fly, then pushed me down on the bed. She pushed my shirt off my chest and shoulders, leaving it on my arms, she grabbed the sides of my pants and underpants, I lifted off the bed as she slide them down to my ankles, my arousal there for all to see. This was perfect in my mind, I’d get to watch Carla, I’d get to fuck Jenny. What more could a man want. Only Memories Matt and Carla were watching, swaying back and forth to the music. Jenny got up went to them, started kissing Carla, long passionate kissing, her hands fondling Carla’s breasts. I watched as Jenny’s hands lifted Carla shirt over her head, reaching around unsnapping Carla’s bra, slipping it from her arms. Jenny’s mouth on Carla’s neck, working her way down to Carla’s breast, a moan from Carla’s lips. Matt hands moving to his pants, undoing them dropping them to the floor, stepping out of them, seeing his manhood erect against my wife’s back. The inevitable comparison, bigger, thicker, maybe even harder. Carla’s hand reaching back to caress him, stroke him. Matt’s hand unsnapping the button on the side of Carla’s skirt, unzipping it, it’s fluttering down to her feet. Carla’s hand guiding his to her breast, Jenny’s lips nibbling on the erect nipple of Carla’s other breast. Matt’s hand sliding under the band of Carla’s panties, her moan almost animalistic as his hand reached between her legs. Practiced, experiences, something often repeated, I should have seen that, I didn’t. The glazed stare in Carla’s eyes as she tried to focus on me, her words, "Jenny, I can’t," the rest lost in a whisper. Jenny’s hand in mine, my funny scuffle as I was lead to my room by Jenny. Jenny taking me to the bed, pushing me down on it. The thought in my mind that this wouldn’t be so bad, disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to watch the deflowering of my beloved, but excited I’d be making love to Jenny. The sneer on Jenny’s face, the look of triumph in Jenny’s eyes, the words from her lips, as she turn to walk back to their room "You stupid, pathetic little man, did you really think Carla could share you, how could you know so little about your own wife." The sound of the door as it shut, the click of the lock. My trying the handle, my sliding to the floor as I found it locked, as I knew it would be. The sounds of love making, the cry’s of Carla’s passion, her moans of pleasure, Jenny’s cry’s , Jenny’s moans. Flesh against flesh, in the rhythm of intercourse. Carla’s lustful words, words never spoken between us. Hour after hour of it. My mind was filled with fantasy, I could almost see the action, my hand almost uncontrollable, as I brought myself to one orgasms after another. Silence finally silence, then sleep finally sleep. The next morning, I found myself as I had been the night before, shirt open, pants around my ankles, dried seamen on my penis, stomach and chest, the smell of seaman strong on my body. I got up, pulled my pants up, buttoned my shirt, tried the door, it was unlocked. Upon opening it I saw the three of them in the bed, Jenny nestled in Carla’s arms, Matt’s arm across Carla’s tummy. Carla was awake, she smiled, she mouthed, "I love you." I turned around, I walked away a tear in my eyes, this isn’t how I envisioned it. I splashed water on my face, I combed my hair, I packed, took a cab to the airport. The long plane ride home, time to think, time to go over the events of the past two days, time to go over the past few mouths. The silence between us for the past few mouth, Carla trying to tell me something, always stopping before she could. I knew, I knew this wasn’t a first time thing, I’d been deceived. Carla arrived home late Sunday night, later then we’d planned, her flight had been on time, where had she been I wondered. I couldn’t hold my piece, I accused, I screamed, I called her names. I called Jenny names, trying to place most of the blame on her. Carla seemed to steel herself against my wrath, as if she’d expected it. She spoke slowly and deliberately, her eyes fixed on mine, her emotions hidden "Yes Mike, I cheated, I’ve been cheating, first Jenny, then later Matt. You knew how I felt, you knew I may not be able to tell you, but I did tell you Mike, this weekend was my way of telling you. I tried to let you watch, I tried to make you a part. I just couldn’t. Do not blame this on Jenny. I asked Jenny to take you away, I asked Jenny to lock the door, I told Jenny I could not share you. It was all me Mike. I never asked for this, you kindled my desire, I was happy with what we had." I screamed, "You are never to see them again, if you do I’ll leave." Carla’s expression changed, a sadness fell upon her face, her voice subdued but anguished, "I can’t go back Mike, I wanted to hide this from you, I don’t want to hurt you, I love you but you don’t fulfill my needs. With Jenny I feel love, more love then I knew possible, I feel a passion I never knew I could. With Matt I feel lust, he gives me pleasures I didn’t know a man could give. I could have at one time been happy with just you Mike, but now I can’t settle for what you give me, it’s not enough. I’m sorry Mike, forgive me, I can’t give Jenny and Matt up." As Carla turned and walked out the door she’d just entered, I saw the tears well up in her eyes. As I heard the car drive away my heart broke. I knew she wouldn’t be back, she knew she wouldn’t be back. We both knew I couldn’t live with not being enough. Perhaps I was never enough, but it should have been enough for me that Carla didn’t know that. ******************************************* You all know the moral of this story, watch what you wish for, you just may get it. Carla may not have been your typical woman, most women know when their sex life isn’t fulfilling. Strangely we women are, at times, willing to live with that. Other needs are more important, the two most important, at least in my mind, are being shown a lot of loving attention and affection. I do warn you men who want your wives/partners to sleep with others, if she finds great sex, loving attention and affections from another, she going to leave you for him or her. Perhaps you can prevent that by showing lots of loving attention and affections, maybe a little practice on your sexual abilities may help some also.