4 comments/ 25273 views/ 4 favorites Jasmin: Splitting Up By: LIPrulz Jasmin: Splitting Up? © LIPrulz June 2008 (6th in the sequence of Jasmin) (Haven't written in a while as a lot has happened since the last instalment. One day I'll write about it. For now I will keep events chronological and there is much to relay from the past before coming to the now. Readers of prior entries will know that events have been largely told from Jasmin's perspective; taken from her regular diary and a secret one she kept later, one she never meant to show me. For now I'll separate her diaries with what I know and what I have learned into individual accounts, with the emphasis still on Jasmin. And yes, these events are truthful as far as she has admitted and from what I know. Of course names and places are different but in keeping with what occurred. Speculation only arises when exploring what other people were thinking. This narrative covers the period before we were married when we were separated by distance. It also deals with the successful interference of Jasmin's mother. I leave it in the Loving Wives section though as we were engaged even if nobody else knew that. Our commitment at the time to each other was also real enough.) Damien's Words It was only a short while after Jasmin turned 19 that I was transferred from Sydney to the Lower Hunter. The 150 kilometres between us of course placed a strain on our relationship. Thankfully, in the 90s fuel did not cost what it does now. I was 24 and had been with Jasmin for over a year so surely distance would not break us up. Now about Jasmin: Jasmin is half Australian, half Japanese and her appearance largely favours the Aussie genes. Her Japanese half just makes her exotic and perhaps keeps her slim. She is about 5'5" with an expressive high cheek boned face, lovely long eye lashes which add to her mystique and a wide smile from typically Asian full pouty lips. Her black hair was long even then to the middle of her back. Jasmin's measurements then were about 34-24-35 with a B cup holding very perky breasts. She always padded her bras, both to hide her long nipples and limit the friction on them as they are very sensitive. I think the main reason though when she was younger was because she was too self-conscious. At 19 Jasmin was still going to TAFE (college), was finished studying nursing but while looking for work had begun studying aged care. Jasmin's mother, Lorelle (divorced from Jasmin's dad when Jasmin was very young), had liked me at first purely because I was a policeman. When she found out we had had sex though that all changed and she was constantly nagging Jasmin to, "Find someone better. He's just using you." I wasn't though, I genuinely loved her daughter and somehow Lorelle could never believe that. I thought at first Lorelle was just being an overprotective single parent but she soon went well beyond that. I was always polite to Lorelle and gave only respect to her, to her sons and of course, to Jasmin. Lorelle argued constantly that pressuring Jasmin for sex (I didn't, the yen was mutual), showed how little regard I had for Jasmin. Such was not the case and I protested strongly that nothing in the world was more important to me. Lorelle told Jasmin that I would not hang around after the restrictions she placed on us; chaperoned by her younger brother on dates; seated on separate chairs in the lounge room. I thought Lorelle was trying to make me call it quits because she was being such a bitch. I knew though early in the relationship with Jasmin that she was special. And more recently of course, Jasmin had agreed without hesitation to marry me. So there was no question for me that I would jump through whatever hoops Lorelle set me. As she was such a bitch I began to wonder how she could possibly be Jasmin's mother. They were nothing alike, excepting their stubbornness. Lorelle was remarkably different to Jasmin in appearance and I still can't fathom it. Lorelle was quite overweight (unkindly I'd say intensely fugly) while her daughter was less than half her weight and had an unblemished complexion. Her father (whom I have never met) was obviously chiefly responsible for Jasmin's beauty. Seeing her with Jasmin you wouldn't believe she is her biological mother. Lorelle was a volunteer worker in the State Emergency Service and the guy she was trying to foist onto her daughter was Graham, a fiery (NSW Fire brigade) who also did volunteer work with the SES. Jasmin had resisted all of her mother's machinations for the better part of a year. She and I were very sure of our 'rock solid' relationship so I was not worried at all about her mother. Even with our time together being cut back to my days off coinciding with weekends that she was free did not appear to make any difference to us. We were still together and still in love. But her mother, Lorelle, had taken matters and planning further with Graham than I ever thought she would. There came a long period that was then two months where Jasmin's mother managed to keep us from seeing each other. The stronger our relationship was just seemed to spur her on to greater efforts of interference. Due to the "breach of trust," I had shown her mother by "having no respect for Jasmin," Lorelle had abruptly decided not to allow my phone calls through. I found out later that she was keeping my letters from Jasmin as well. Bear in mind that mobile phones were still uncommon at this time and Windows 95 hadn't been thrust upon us yet. This was an attempt from Lorelle to convince Jasmin that I had lost interest in her, that, "Sydney is too far for him to travel just for sex." Now Jasmin is very strong willed but who would know her better than her mother? So eventually the constant haranguing had to start wearing on her. Finally, I managed to get a phone call through on a Tuesday night. I was a little naughty in using the work phone for that but I had suspected Lorelle was finding out what shifts I was on to help her prevent me contacting Jasmin. When Jasmin answered the phone it seemed my suspicions were correct. I knew the Tuesday nights were the SES meeting nights. Lorelle had not been going to any so that she could intercept my calls but for some reason she went to this one - likely she was plotting with Graham and thought that there was nothing I could do to interfere with her plans at this late date so she went to the SES meeting. I was so surprised when Jasmin answered the phone. Jasmin was so happy to hear from me, she actually cried a couple of times while we were talking. She said we should only talk a short time because her mother would phone to check up on her but I persuaded her to stay on the line. I asked her if she had sent me a letter this week because the last one had been about three weeks previous. Jasmin said she hadn't received any letters from me since the party so she wasn't sure where we stood. I understood then why the few letters I did have from her never mentioned my letters. When she knew what her mother had done, Jasmin was so angry. I could imagine her almond eyes becoming narrow slits as she raged against her mother's interference. Jasmin asked me then to come to a 21st birthday party with her that Friday. I was on afternoon shift then but I had days off on the weekend so Jasmin promised she would be home and not stay at the SES depot. That comment pricked my ears up. "SES depot?" I asked. "Who is the party for?" "Ah, you remember Graham, don't you? Are you sure you can't get out of work and come with me?" Jasmin sounded oddly desperate. I didn't really understand how hard the last two months had been for her so I didn't put two and two together then. Jasmin was subconsciously reaching out, trying to avoid the Graham trap she was coming to accept as fated. "Are you going there with anyone?" I asked her. I knew her mother was trying to split us up with this Graham character and only then did I start to imagine that a bit of planning by Lorelle may have taken place. "No," she answered. "Linda and Gloria don't like me anymore. That's why I haven't mentioned going out in any letters. I haven't seen them or gone anywhere except tech." I could tell Jasmin was upset then and I thought it was because she was fighting with her best friends and was so bored at home. But the real reason I didn't find out until 2007. "You must have other girlfriends that can go with you, Jazz. What about Louise? She's an old school friend isn't she. You said you were still pretty close." "Louise is heavily into this guy at the moment and hasn't had time for anyone else for a while. I'm just going to the party with mum. But I'll come home early. We can go out all day Saturday. It'll be so good to see you. Damien, I've missed you sooo much. It's been way too long." For some unknown reason I developed an ache inside. I guess I began to feel jealous of Graham. At the time I tried to dismiss the feeling as irrational but it kept nagging at me. Graham was in Sydney and Jasmin's mother was all in favour of him dating her daughter. I had met him once and was sure his only feelings for Jasmin consisted of getting into her pants. So how he convinced Jasmin's mother of, "He is far more honourable than Damien," I have no idea about. I asked Jasmin why Linda and Gloria were fighting with her. Shortly after meeting Jasmin I had thought the three girls were inseparable. "Ohh..." was Jasmin's response. She was quiet then for a little while. When she didn't answer me I imagined all sorts of things. Was I asking too many questions, did she think I was interrogating her, that I didn't trust her, was Jasmin hiding something from me? The last thought was on the money but I didn't know that and had no idea how her former friends had tried to destroy her. Jasmin spoke then, saying, "At that party their boyfriends tried dancing with me, tried to kiss me and you know... other things. Don't worry though, nothing happened,” she lied. “Both Linda and Gloria didn't believe me when I said that they came onto me. So I told them both to get stuffed and left early. We haven't spoken since." "I'm sorry about that, Jasmin. What about that old guy that was there then? He seemed ok. I thought he was there as some kind of monitor. What was his name? Ah yeah, Carl. Did Carl take you home like he promised?" Again Jasmin was quiet for a while. I was trying to figure out if something was wrong and what it was when she said. "Carl was a creep, Damien. He tried to have sex with me at the party." "Christ! Jasmin, what happened there?” That had really thrown me. “Did Carl do something to you? I'm coming down tonight." Jasmin really cried then and I really did just want to leave work and drive straight down to Sydney for her. I knew something must have happened for her to be so upset but I waited for her to stop sobbing, just reassuring her that everything would be all right. It wasn't all right though and Jasmin had no intention of telling me what had really happened at that party, maybe too afraid of what my reaction would be. She was genuinely upset about it though and I tried to wait patiently for her. I remember thinking that 'tried' meant Carl had not succeeded but that in the trying Jasmin had obviously been traumatised. Jasmin eventually calmed down enough to talk. "Don't come down now, Damien. It was two months ago after all." I took a breath to collect my thoughts. One of the senior detectives I knew had said once that taking a breath when you were angry or excited often helped to find the right method, the right words to get on the same wavelength to someone. "Jazz, its ok now. You can tell me what happened? Your letters don't say anything about the party. You can tell me, I would never be angry with you for anything that might have happened." "I miss you," was Jasmin's response. She was calmer but obviously still reluctant to say any more. But Jasmin must have decided I needed to be further reassured that she was ok because she said, "Carl said he'd take me home when I wanted to leave. But I wasn't sure about him so we talked a bit in the hallway. After a bit I knew he wanted to take me to his home. When I walked away, Carl trapped me against the wall and... and he felt me up." Then it was my turn to be quiet for a while. I wanted to kill the old bastard for sure. I took a couple of breaths this time. Jasmin knew me pretty well though and I guess that was one of the reasons why she hadn't defied her mother and phoned me. She knew I might do something I would regret later. "Getting yourself sacked Damien won't help me. Worse, you could go to gaol." Jasmin sounded determined now but I still hoped she would do something official about it. "Jazz, he's indecently assaulted you at the least. You can talk to a female police officer about it. I can line it up for you. It could stop-" "No!" she almost shrieked down the phone line. "If I can handle it then you can also." Left unsaid was that she hadn't talked to anyone at all about it. "Whoa, Jazz, ok, ok. I was just trying to help.” Obviously the shame she felt was too much to discuss it with anyone. I counted myself fairly privileged that she had opened up to me so much about it. Jasmin's Japanese heritage and shyness over despicable acts was obviously influencing her. “It's your decision Jazz. Seriously though, do you want me to come down tonight?" "Damien, you know I'd love that, but you can't. I don't want mum finding out about the party, you know she'd lose it. You'd get the blame for the whole thing cause you left me there." "Oh." I had no idea what to say or think. I was wondering if Jasmin was in part blaming me for Carl's attack. But I had to make myself keep in mind that this was about Jasmin and the turmoil she was in partly due to her heritage and no being able to talk to anyone. It was not about me or any hurt feelings of mine. I was kicking myself for not being in contact with her sooner. She had told me a little bit so for certain she needed me there to talk to. But I had to be invited. To come down otherwise would just cause her to clam up. "Ok," I said. "What about Friday night then? Are you sure you don't want me to come down until Saturday?" "I'm alright, Damien. Really," Jasmin claimed. "Just let mum think she's got it over us. I'll tell her I'm sick and leave early with her when she comes back home. I can't wait to see you but come Saturday and surprise us." I had an idea then how I could get letters through to her. I was still getting hers of course but her mother had been keeping mine, burning them apparently as Jasmin said she had seen her mother burning some papers at odd times. "Jazz, about future letters; I know your mother keeps most of your austudy allowance for rent, electricity, food, etcetera, so how about I get a post-box, say at Burwood or wherever you think would be better? There's no way that the post office will burn any letters. You'll have the key and be able to get them yourself. Your mother will be happier because she'll think I stopped writing to you." "Yes!" she said, her voice noticeably happier. "I don't know what you really mean about a post-box but it sounds good. Tell me about it on Saturday." We hung up soon after that and Jasmin seemed to be in much better spirits. I was much happier as well apart from hearing about her ordeal at the party. Not seeing her for two months had been really hard. About Carl's assault on her I would just take it slow with Jasmin and try and gently coax her into talking about it over the weekend. Then hopefully she could decide on the course she needed to take. Jasmin's Words I was so happy after talking with Damien. How I felt told me just how miserable I had been the last two months after those guys raped me at the party. If I had told Damien about that I know he would've come that night. Telling him about Carl had been difficult enough and even then I didn't tell him about what Carl did to me. I realised how close I truly felt with Damien and I was so happy he had asked me to marry him. I couldn't imagine telling anyone else about that stuff. Mum rang then. It hadn't been more than a minute since I hung up from Damien. Mum was in a filthy mood. She knew who I had been talking with and said I couldn't be trusted so she would have to stay home with me in the future. We had a big argument. I was so mad that she had been burning Damien's letters and letting me believe he wasn't writing. But I didn't tell her then that I had guessed what she had done with his letters. Even so, mum knew she lost some of her hold over me then because I hadn't argued with her like that since before that party. After she hung up, saying she would be home in ten minutes (liar, I know it takes about fifteen from the SES depot), I thought a bit more clearly about what had happened at the party. I knew for sure then that it hadn't really been any fault of Damien's. Sick or not when I was in the bathroom, I should have run out of the house after him. In the last couple of months I had almost bought into what mum had been saying about Damien. I felt so guilty, I hadn't written a letter to him in more than three weeks because I began to believe what mum said about him. I decided then that I wouldn't go to Graham's 21st at all, I didn't really like him that much anyway. Mum came home in about twelve minutes. I went outside to the carport to ask about Damien's letters and I could smell a burning. My brother David said later that the smell was probably the brakes on the van from speeding. I was even angrier than mum was, really chopping into her about keeping Damien's letters. Then she admitted she had burned them. I couldn't believe how spiteful she was being and told her, "No way am I going to that party on Friday." Mum said she would stay home with me on Friday then and we could watch a movie together. Urrgh, that's the last thing I wanted to do. I almost let slip that Damien would be coming on Saturday but managed to keep it to myself. The next day I wrote a letter to Damien while I was at TAFE. I didn't tell him anything new and certainly nothing more about that party. I couldn't bring myself to tell him any more and I was still surprised that I had shared as much as I did. So I just told him the boring day to day stuff that was going on with my life and about the stupid teachers at TAFE. But I knew he would be able to tell how happy I was now from what I wrote to him. Friday morning before I went to TAFE, mum asked what videos she should pick up from Video Ezy for our night at home. I was determined to beat her at her own game so I thought why not go to the party? I could always come back early. If I did that then mum would finally realise that I was never going to be interested in Graham and she would give up. Mum smiled when I said, "Ok, I'll go to the party." It was nice to see her smile even if it was only because she thought she had won. That evening when I came downstairs ready to go, mum frowned at what I was wearing. I had on a pair of black jeans and a top over my blouse. On my feet I had the black shoes I bought when I did my student nursing. It was pretty much what I wore to TAFE any day. Mum was wearing this floral dress and a pair of low heels. I hardly ever saw her in heels because of her bad hip and she had always said even low ones could be dangerous. She convinced me to change into a skirt and heels. I know she wanted me to look good for Graham. But I suppose she is proud of me and how pretty she says I am. So when she suggested a dress, because I knew I would come back early with her I thought it would be nice to look good with my mother. Jasmin: Splitting Up So I ended up in a knee length maroon silk dress that mum had bought me a year ago. She said it was thai silk and very expensive but I don't know if its true or not. The dress is bare shouldered with spaghetti straps and I knew all the guys at the party would love it, particularly since I wouldn't have a bra on. Before mum knew I had sex with Damien she had said I should wear it once when we went to a Chinatown restaurant. I was surprised when mum said I should wear a shawl, "For the night air before we arrive," she said and I wondered wether she would suggest I keep wearing it after we got there. I brought two pair of heels downstairs and she said the three inch light pink ones instead of the four inch black ones. It took another twenty minutes for makeup and my hair and then she was happy with my appearance. I left my hair straight down my back. It would spill over my shoulders when I turned my head about. That was the way Damien liked it most. He said it was alluring and mysterious especially when I used my 'bedroom eyes' look as he called it (Damien's really funny like that). Well my mother liked it up to show my neck but no way, the dress showed enough of me already. She was happy with how I finally looked even if we were then about an hour late. "Graham will think you are so beautiful, Jasmin," she said when we were on the way in the van. "I don't care what Graham thinks, mum," I replied. "I'm just looking good to go there with you." "That's ok, sweety. But try to get along with him. I've invited him to come with us tomorrow to the caravan." "What?! I'm not going to the caravan tomorrow. And certainly not if Graham is going." I could have screamed. "You are not staying at home alone for Damien to come and see you tomorrow, young lady. We're going and Graham's coming with us. He’s going to help put up the annexe as well." "No! No! No!" I really wanted to scream then. "You planned all this. I'm not going." "David asked me on Wednesday. Jasmin, if you knew Damien wanted to visit tomorrow you should have said something Tuesday night after you spoke to him. It's all set now and it isn't right of you to spoil David's and my weekend because you didn't say Damien was coming earlier so I might have made other arrangements." I didn't say one more word to her before we got to the SES depot. She was so good at twisting things, at making herself sound so reasonable and me the bady. Mum even hummed along to some stupid song on the radio while I just sat there fuming. I was pretty rude to most people when we went inside the hall. I never said hello, just walked over to a table and sat down with some chips. I suppose they had done a good job with it though. The bright fluros were off and other low brightness coloured lights were up there. There were balloons, streamers and ribbons around the walls with a few banners across the room as well. It did look and feel really different. I was still wondering how I was going to get out of going to the mountains and the stupid caravan for the weekend so I could see Damien when I noticed Graham standing next to me. He handed me a glass of red wine. "Sorry, what did you say?" I asked. "I'm glad you came, Jasmin," he said. "You look beautiful." Graham complimenting me was embarrassing, especially since I knew how he felt about me. "Thank you," I managed. "Happy birthday, Graham. Where is your family?" Graham said his parents and other relatives were going to celebrate with him the next weekend. He invited me to that party. I think I just frowned and didn't answer. When he bent down to kiss me I didn't think much of letting him have a birthday kiss. I was still distracted over what to do about the weekend and didn't think about it encouraging him. So I gave Graham a quick peck on the lips and saw then the disappointment in his eyes. Too bad for Graham, I thought. I'm not on the market. Which is why I was so surprised when he said, "Thanks for the birthday present, Jasmin." "Ah, that's ok," I said. I didn't know what he meant. I had been told that we were just contributing money to him buying a car, not giving individual presents. "It will be a great weekend. Thanks for the invite." Then I knew mum was the one making all the planning. Graham was just a pawn in trying to separate me from Damien and Damien had said before it could have been anyone that she chose. I had thought Graham was planning with mum but it looked like it wasn't his fault after all. Mum was just using him. Graham was smiling as he looked away. I looked him over quickly then. He was wearing dark trousers and a long sleeve maroon silk shirt. I had never really checked him out before and I discovered that he still wasn't attractive. "That's a nice shirt, Graham," I said. "Is it new?" He laughed then and had me laughing with him when he said, "Looks like we came together, doesn't it." But I stopped laughing when he said, "Actually your mum suggested it. She said what colour you dress was." "I'm sure she did." I glared over at my mother but she had her back to me, talking with her friends. "Graham, you know that I'm with Damien, don't you." I wasn't angry, not with Graham anyway. "It's ok, Jasmin. No pressure," he said. "It's ok if I ask you to dance later though, isn't it? I mean your boyfriend isn't here to dance with you so it's ok if we dance isn't it?" "Yeah, that's fine. I'd be happy to," I said and the smile came back to his face again. But, I was thinking, I'll be gone early so you won't get any dances with me. Most of the people at SES are older than me. I think Graham might be the youngest of them actually, so for the next half hour he was just about the only person I talked to. I wasn't in a very good mood though thanks to my mother so even Graham left me alone most of the time except for watching me. I spent my time sitting at the snacks table. Then mum pulled a good and clever stunt. One of the bosses, Rodney I think, came and told me she had been taken home after taking a tumble and hurting her hip. I supposed it could be for real but instinct told me it was just part of her plan. She would no doubt blame the heels. Rodney said he would take me home after the party as he was one of the drivers that night. So I was stuck. Just great. For the next hour or more I mostly sat outside, sometimes going in for more cask wine. Then I had a good idea that made me really excited. Maybe I would get to see Damien tonight. I went back into the depot and out to the back office. I couldn't have done that before with mum watching. She would have known what I was up to. Rodney and another boss were sitting in the back office talking. I just bet that mum had asked them to hang around the office. The door was shut so I couldn't hear them but they were grinning about something they were looking at on the desk. By their attitudes and hand gestures I thought it must be a porn magazine. I ducked back in the hallway before they saw me. So I went back to the party, coming out the back every now and then to see if they were out of the office. Graham asked me to dance but I was too anxious so I told him I would soon. Maybe an hour later when I checked they were both out of there, probably having a smoke. Luckily they left the door unlocked. There was no sign of any porn magazines, just some folder on the desk. I used the phone there to call Damien. I think it was about 11pm then. Damien wasn't home yet but he wouldn't be far away as his shift finished at 11pm. His flatmate Ryan answered the phone. I apologised for the late call but Ryan was ok with it even though by his voice I had definitely woken him. I guessed Damien might have discussed our situation with him. I asked Ryan to tell Damien to come to the party tonight. It would probably finish about 2am so he had plenty of time. Ryan said, "No worries, Jasmin. I'm writing a note for him now in case I miss him." I thanked Ryan and hung up. He seemed kind of cool, not making any remark about being tired or needing to get back to sleep. I left the office then before anyone could see me. I felt much better and when Graham asked me to dance I said yes without thinking. The DJ was playing mostly house and techno music so dancing with him was easy, impersonal without any contact and I didn't look at him much either. I laughed a couple times though. He couldn't dance at all. Graham probably thought I was just happy dancing and I kept dancing with him anyway since I hadn't really been out or had any fun at all for the last two months. When a slower song was put on I said I was tired and went to sit down. Graham went to get a beer for himself and a wine for me, then came and sat with me. I needed to eat something as well because the wine was starting to get to me. But there was only party food and I had had enough chips already. Graham sat right next to me on the bench seat with his left side touching my right. I didn't move away though and he didn't try anything. We were in plain sight in the hall as well, seated against a wall so I wasn't worried. In a while I jerked upright. I had fallen asleep on Graham's shoulder. He smiled at me and said he didn't mind. That was embarrassing. I had a bad habit of falling asleep when I drank too much wine. I asked Graham what time it was and he said it was nearly 1am. My mind was a little fuzzy and I wondered for a bit why 1am seemed important. Then I think I was smiling as I remembered that I thought Damien would be there about 1am. Seeing me smiling, Graham asked me to dance again. He was helping me up before I had even answered. He didn't let me go either and I realised too late it was a slow song. Graham had his arms around me and pulled me close. I was annoyed but I didn't worry though as Damien would be there soon. I let my head rest against Graham's shoulder. Graham's arms stayed around me, his hands on my waist. I didn't like it but my thinking was fuzzy and I still wasn't worried by anything. After all Damien would be there very soon and take care of Graham. Maybe half the people had left already. Only the younger ones and their girl or boyfriends were there now. The DJ seemed to be keeping the birthday boy happy now as the slow songs kept playing. I should have tried harder to stop dancing with Graham but it was easier to stay with him, just swaying on our feet. I kept thinking that Damien would be there any minute to rescue me. I knew that the shoulder and neck I was looking at was not Damien. Damien was not so fleshy. That just served as a reminder that I wasn't being held by the man I wanted. So I closed my eyes briefly, thinking it would help to shut everything out. Then I knew also that the man I could smell was not Damien. It was not his usual aftershave. Nothing was working to shut out the fact that Damien was not holding me. And with the amount of wine I had had already, having my eyes shut and swaying on my feet to the music just made me dizzy. After a bit I realised Graham's hands were pressing and squeezing my bum. His hands had probably been there for a while. "What are you doing?" I remember asking but I also giggled and giggling at Graham groping me made me finally realise that for some reason Damien was not coming and I was in trouble. I was too lethargic to pull away and Graham didn't answer my giggly question. It was quite an effort to think that I had to help myself. Graham was still rubbing my bum. But I managed to take my arms from around him and pulled his hands back to my waist. I might have giggled even then because Graham laughed as well. He was telling me then how nice it was to be dancing with me. Of course, I thought, you've been rubbing my bum, and I giggled again. I think I naughtily responded, "It's your birthday. I'm filling in for your girlfriend tonight." I wasn't feeling naughty and I don't know why I said that except that I was feeling nervous, nervous at not being able to think how I could get away from the bad birthday boy. Graham laughed at what he may have thought was my playfulness. I'm sure my eyes would have reflected my fright but Graham did not know me well enough to tell. A while after that I felt Graham's hands back on my bum. Again, I had no clear idea when it had happened. I realised only because he had really started kneading me and was massaging my dress up between my cheeks. I am shamed to admit now that as embarrassed, as confused and ashamed as I was at what was happening, it also felt good. Surely I am damned for my reaction but I was so turned on. "My girlfriend kisses me much more on my birthday, Jasmin," Graham murmured in my ear. I felt his breath on the back of my neck and my flesh goose bumped. I tilted my head back so I could see him. "But I'm not her," I whispered back. Although I was incredibly turned on I still wanted nothing to do with Graham. Graham might not have heard me with the loud beat of the music going. Or maybe he had. Whatever the case, before I knew what was happening his lips had locked with mine and he was kissing me. It had been too long since Damien had kissed me, too long since anyone had. I returned Graham's kiss. Like I was watching someone else I felt my lips open under the pressure of Graham's mouth. His tongue invaded my mouth and I'm ashamed to say at that point I welcomed it. Like most girls I close my eyes when I'm kissing. Usually that's so I feel it more, emotionally. But with Graham I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see it was him and not Damien. With my eyes closed and my mind fuzzy I started to enjoy it. Graham's kissing was forceful, entirely appropriate to what he was doing. My tongue began moving against Graham's. He groaned into my mouth and I was excited to feel how much he was turned on. Then I knew there were tears squeezing from my eyes and running down my cheeks. I hated to cry, refusing to do it most of the time. I opened my eyes to see if he had noticed. Graham drew back slightly from my face and more tears overflowed as I blinked my eyes rapidly to clear my blurring vision. Graham was looking right into my eyes. I couldn't bear to look and closed mine again. He obviously took that as my acceptance of what he was doing because his lips recaptured mine almost immediately. Without hesitating this time I was kissing him back. Damien had always said he loved the feeling of my lips, saying they were soft and full and how much he loved the sweet teasing lapping of my tongue against his. I'm sure Graham felt the same way. With his hands roaming my body I knew his desire as he was all but growling into my mouth. Thinking about Damien caused more tears to well up. But I didn't let them spill and I didn't stop kissing Graham. I moaned in my anguish, in my confusion and in my lust. Graham pulled my dress up at the back, one hand holding it against my bum. The other hand went under my dress and was against my bare back, pressing me against him. As soon as he felt my bare flesh Graham groaned into my mouth and held me even tighter. He was so hot for me. I didn't care anymore if anyone was watching but some part of me realised Graham had manoeuvred us into a far corner and my back was to the wall. In all likelihood then, nobody could see. I don't know what I was thinking. I just let Graham keep kissing me and yes I was kissing him back. I let his hand rub and squeeze my back. Instead of pushing him away I held onto him all the tighter. For Graham it no doubt seemed I was encouraging him. But the real truth is that I was freaking out. I didn't want anything else to happen so I let him keep kissing me. I didn't want anyone to know what he was doing so I held on to him tightly. I didn't want Damien to see as he was bound to arrive soon so I hoped Graham kept me near the wall. But me staying there only allowed Graham to lift my dress higher. Both of his hands were under my dress and the dress lay over his hands. If there was someone behind me they would have been able to see one hand pressing my briefs up between my legs. Then he was working the side of my panties in and up and edging beneath right up between my legs. His other hand had left my back and moved around to rub along my bare waist. He was trying to work that hand around my front but the tight dress was resisting him. "Graham, don't," I pleaded but gasped as the hand in my panties pressed against the bare flesh between my legs. Graham's lips sought out mine again as his fingers searched forward toward his goal. My body tensed as I started to struggle. The hand pressed and his fingers slid over me while his mouth covered mine, choking off my cry. That cry turned to a moan in his mouth as I surrendered to his ministrations, the strength leaving me. My legs were limp and I would have fallen if the wall and Graham weren't supporting me. My hands opened on Graham's back as soon as his finger pressed up inside me. I think my fingers spread wide and rigid with the despair I felt. I was despairing of the trap I had been manoeuvred into by my mother and despairing of rescue by then from Damien. But most of all I was despairing as I surrendered to the feeling of need that Graham's desire for me was causing. That need was being fed now by the pleasure jolting through me as his fingers slid in and out of my core, sliding my juices back and forth along my slit. Graham released my mouth, not that he was holding my head there. I still felt weak with uncertainty. "Arrr, Jasmin. You are so wet. You feel so good," Graham gushed. "How long have you been thinking about this?" Thinking about it! What?! I was only wet between my legs because I had been starved of Damien's touch for two months, because such an overloading of my senses as Graham or any man might have done on the dance floor would cause me to be so aroused. Stupid boy! Graham seemed to think that I was like this just because of him. When Graham released my mouth I still could not move, standing there just like a roo in the bush at night caught in the headlights. My mouth hung slackly open, my tongue quivering along my lips as the sensations coursed through my body. I knew I looked provocative but I couldn't help it. I was too highly aroused by then. I had to get away before I gave Graham what he wanted. Really it was me that was stupid. "Want to go somewhere, Jasmin?" he asked. His fingers continued to move inside me. "Uh huh," I answered, hoping he couldn't read my mind. "Graham, please stop. Let's go outside. Fresh air would be good." Graham kept his fingers sawing in and out for a while longer. I couldn't do anything as the pleasure coursed through me. I slumped against the wall, my gaze locked with his. I felt the onset of an orgasm and my eyes fluttered. I damned myself for letting Graham make and see me cum. But he stopped just before the wave washed through me. The fingers withdrew from inside me. If I hadn't been slumped against the wall I know I would have moved forward to try and keep his fingers inside me. I actually thought fresh air would clear my head and I could get away from Graham outside. After he took his hand from my panties it took me a few moments before I could stand unaided. The feelings engendered by his fingers still lingered. I let Graham hold my arm as we walked outside. Graham's Words Jasmin was going to be mine, I could feel it. After tonight she would never want to see her boyfriend again. I had waited just long enough for Jasmin to get a little drunk and I well remembered what Wayne had said, "Be decisive with her, give her no options other than what you offer. You'll find she will go along with whatever you want. Jasmin's a slut at heart." Jasmin: Splitting Up Wayne had not believed me when I said I wanted her to be my girlfriend. "Man, you'll always be watching her, wondering if she will give in to the next bloke she meets when you're not around." But I thought the risk was worth it. Having Jasmin for even a short while was worth it. Dancing with her had been great. But when she let me move us to that dark corner I knew she would let me play. Man, does she feel nice. That hockey she loves playing certainly keeps her body athletic and well toned. I couldn't wait to get her to the car. I hated my old Ford but the bench seats would be handy that night. We needed to get there obviously before her boyfriend arrived. If he saw Jasmin in my car after that, that would be great. Lorelle had actually suggested it, but for nothing more than kissing she had said. How angry would stupid Lorelle be now? I wondered. But there was no way that given this chance I could treat her daughter in her suggested, "honourable way." Jasmin was irresistible and after hearing from Wayne what she was really like there was no doubt in my mind about how to treat her. Everyone knew what a slut she was now after that party. I mean all of the guys (and girls also) that were in my peer group that were involved with the SES, they all knew except her mother. I just wanted Jasmin to be my slut, nobody else's. I knew that if she was my girl it wouldn't stop other blokes that knew about her from trying to fuck her but I was pretty confident I could keep her to myself. Who would have thought that Jasmin was such a slut? Whenever her mother brought her along to an SES parade or training, Jasmin was always so bored. Sometimes she stayed all by herself and fell asleep, even during the day. I had known Jasmin since I had come to the SES at 17. Jasmin had been 15 and she was beautiful then as well. We had always felt protective of Lorelle's daughter and none of us guys had ever had the guts to ask Jasmin out, even when she was 18. Then that bastard copper had come in and snatched her away from all of us. It was almost like we had lost a member of the family. Well at the moment I was considering putting her in the family way. That if anything could help to make her mine. When she asked me what time it was I knew Jasmin was drunk. She had a watch on her wrist. So I told her it was 1am when it was only midnight. She didn't even think to check even though her face appeared troubled. In the hall I had her in the corner and with my hand between the firm cheeks of her arse I knew I was going to achieve my dream. My dick was so rigid and I felt so excited I was trembling. I had never been with a girl that was so sexy as Jasmin. It was a pity I had to let Jasmin's dress down as we walked past the others which also meant taking the two fingers I had in her, out. I wanted to keep my fingers in her forever. When I smelled them I just wanted to throw her on the floor and tear that dress off. Her scent was intoxicating. If I hadn't heard it from Wayne then I would never have thought to go so far with Jasmin. She was so easy and trusting, actually seeming to think that fresh air was all I wanted for her as we walked outside together. When we walked out to the car park, Rodney was coming back in from having a smoke. He winked at us. I could have decked him but I don't think Jasmin saw so no damage was done. I steered her towards the Ford. She seemed to want to go another way but there was no way I was letting her go. As Wayne had advised I gave Jasmin no option. I never imagined I would be fucking her so soon. Thanks Wayne for giving me the belief to try... When Lorelle went home early she told me that Rodney would bring Jasmin back home after the party. I thought I might have a chance then. Before that I had been hoping for a chance to have Jasmin when I stayed at the caravan with them on Saturday and Sunday. Jasmin let me lay her on her back over the bonnet of my car while I retrieved my keys and unlocked it. That tight silk dress was awesome, really hugging her curves beautifully. I opened the back door and came back to her. I wanted to pull the front of the dress down right then and see the beautiful breasts Wayne had talked about. He said her nipples were truly something special. But I grabbed her arms instead and pulled her to her feet. Better to get her in the car first. Jasmin offered no resistance at all as I laid her down in the back seat. How she just submitted like that was so hot. I spread her legs, one on the seat and the other on the floor, which helped to push her tight dress up. Her bare legs were spectacular, even smoother than her silk dress. No doubt Jasmin's regular running and hockey made for her well-toned calves and nicely firm thighs. I had watched these sexy legs from a distance for so long. Jasmin made no objection at all as my hands roamed her silky flesh. I bent forward over her, my legs still out of the car door, and I couldn't resist tasting her flesh. Where to start? I picked up the leg lying on the floor, wanting at the same time to caress it with my hands and lick and suck all over her. My tongue trailed along her leg from calf to inner thigh. Yes, she tasted fantastic, her perspiration intoxicating. I was on top of the world; Jasmin was mine. She had no further resistance, just lying there and letting me do what I wanted. Her legs were so lovely. Jasmin did not react at all as I mouthed her beautiful flesh. I had expected at least a giggle when my tongue explored her inner thigh but apart from the rise and fall of her chest, she was still. I couldn't believe it. Was she really asleep? That was just like the Jasmin I knew. Her friends had always said before that a bit of alcohol just put her right to sleep. No matter, I could still enjoy myself. I moved my attention to her purple briefs. As I had felt earlier, her panties were wet with her arousal. I didn't know what to do first. Should I get her dress off her to get at those breasts I had heard about or just push it up further and fuck her right away? My hardon decided for me. I wanted to get in Jasmin ASAP. I pushed and folded Jasmin's dress up over her hips. Hooking my fingers in her wet briefs I pulled them down. Her scent had inflamed me before and after I peeled her panties away from her slit she was all I could smell and taste. That incredible scent concentrated my entire world to her slit. Wow, she is glorious. Jasmin had shaved her cunt. There was a small tuft of hair at the top of her slit but other than that she was shaved smooth. I had never seen anything like that before. Fantastic! She had to be a slut. Who knew? My hands were trembling again as I left Jasmin's briefs there between her thighs for the moment so I could feel her again. I slid the fingers of my right hand along her wet labia and then pushed one finger inside her. She was so moist my finger slid in easily. I moved it in and out of her, loving the stronger smell of Jasmin as it filled my car. I think she moaned in her sleep as well. In case she and I got noisy I realised I really should get in the car and shut the door. Reluctantly I pulled my finger out of her warmth and I was sure then she moaned a little. Awake or not it didn't really matter to me. I pushed her legs back together and pulled her panties off as quickly as I could, dropping them back at her bum so they were handy when I came. I didn't want cum all over my back seat. When I let her legs go they just flopped back to the position I had them in before. I pushed Jasmin's legs wider on the seat and I will never forget seeing her spread open like that. It's easily the most sluttish thing I have ever seen. As I was climbing over her so that I could close the door, I heard a voice from behind me. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" At the same time a hand closed over my shoulder and pulled me back. Jasmin's Words Oh my God, that was close, I thought. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had had my eyes shut hoping Graham would think I was asleep and leave me alone. It was all I could think to do when he had stopped me from going off by myself. He was of course much stronger than me and I wouldn't have been able to stop him from having sex with me if he forced me. Truthfully, I didn't really know if I wouldn't be willing. Graham had me feeling ashamed, embarrassed, upset and angry with him. But I was also turned on and that really confused me. I opened my eyes just a little to see who it was that had stopped Graham. I was fairly practised at doing it and with the more Asian shape of my eyes it was really hard to tell I wasn't asleep. Rodney stood behind Graham. "You are not going to molest Jasmin," Rodney said. "Lorelle left her in my care and she's going home unharmed as I promised her." Rodney pushed Graham aside then. Graham did nothing to stop him. It's funny what you think about at all sorts of odd times. At the time I nearly laughed, thinking, Graham is half Rodney's age, just as big as him but he's the one frightened. "I'm taking her back to the office." Rodney came to the car seat. "She can sleep in the cot there until the party is over." Seeing Rodney looking down between my legs then I no longer thought that anything was funny. I was spread open just as Graham had left me. If I moved my legs, Rodney would know I was awake and I couldn't bear that embarrassment as well. Rodney could see everything. He stared at me for a while and I started to wonder if I hadn't made the wrong choice. Was he comparing me to the magazines he was looking at in the office? Was Rodney just like Graham then? Outside, Graham still just stood there. I'm sure I heard an appreciative murmur from Rodney. Then he reached for under my dress and I couldn't see his hands. I felt them though when he touched me. Rodney was pulling my panties out from where they lay on the seat under my butt. As he did it I think it was his thumb that pressed against my pussy. He pressed between my lips and his thumb slid a little way along my slickness. I couldn't I couldn't quite choke off the moan before it left my throat. Rodney must have heard it and I was even more startled I think. I had never thought of Rodney in that way before. I guess my aroused, confused state still ruled my body. Maybe Rodney seemed more sure of himself. Perhaps that appealed to me at that moment. I don't know what it was, he certainly isn't attractive and I'm not turned on by older men. But then I remembered Ed, he was much older than me and he had had me climbing the walls I was so frenzied. Rodney held my legs together and pulled my panties up. When he pulled them up over my knees his hands were out of sight again. When my panties were up to the level of my hips he let them go, the wet gusset once more clinging to me. My legs weren't allowed to flop back open because his arms were still there and now he was touching my bare right leg. I felt Rodney push his thumb against my slit again, this time through my panties. There was no thought in my mind that it could have been accidental as Rodney then pulled my panties across and his thumb went right inside me. I gasped and couldn't help my eyes going wide with startlement. I never expected that Rodney would do that. Rodney's eyes were locked on mine but I was trying to look anywhere but at him. I knew my cheeks had gone rosy with shame and embarrassment and my eyes were watering once more at the betrayal of someone I thought I could trust. "She's asleep," he called back to Graham. Rodney's thumb sawed in and out of me. God help me but I couldn't stop my hips beginning to move. At least I was successful in stopping my tears from overflowing. My upbringing had just about cured me of tears. My confusion was complete. My body was betraying me to Rodney's fingers. Actually I was revolted and turned on at the same time. But I didn't want Rodney to leave me alone there as Graham certainly wouldn't. He kept watching me as his thumb started twisting around inside me. I had no idea what to do so I just let him continue. "I'm taking Jasmin inside to the office so she can sleep in there. She's drunk. Graham, count yourself lucky that I'm not going to tell her what you were doing when she wakes up. As for Lorelle, she would kill you don't you think? You treat Jasmin right later and she just might be your girl. For now though, just piss off." Rodney took his thumb out of me and dragged his fingers across my clitoris. That sent a jolt of pleasure through my body. I shuddered with the 'little death' but managed to keep quiet. That caused me to look at Rodney though. "Thatta girl," he whispered and I felt my flush deepen. He slid me toward him by my legs. My dress rose up but I didn't see what Graham was doing as I shut my eyes again to keep pretending I was asleep. Rodney lifted me over his shoulder in a firemans carry and pulled my dress down over my arse. Nothing inappropriate occurred on the walk back inside to the office. When he laid me down on the cot, Rodney put a blanket over me and said, "Sleep now Jasmin. The party will finish up soon and I'll run you straight home after." Damien's Words I was very excited when I returned to the flat after work and saw Jasmin's message. After a quick shower I threw some clothes in a bag for the weekend and got on the road to Sydney. The second half of my last afternoon shift of the set had been very busy. It took hours to locate this fellow that had called for police on his new mobile and said he was running from former friends he had fought at a bonfire party. It was probably a drug matter and the Ds were still investigating that issue. It was in the forests around Mount Hutton and after finding the guy it had taken almost as long to round up his former friends. Fortunately, my partner and I were only one of several cars involved and the arrests were made by other police. That allowed me to finish the shift on time and get away. But the adrenaline of the last foot pursuit had long worn off by the time I got onto the F3 expressway. I tried everything to stay awake for the boring expressway drive. I made the aircon as quick and cold as possible, put the windows down for the cool night air, splashed water from a drink bottle on my face and at the last I tried sitting on the removable ashtray, hoping the discomfort would keep me awake. But I was only an hour along and still speeding when I woke just in time to find I had drifted from lane two across lane three and was headed for the rock wall. I pulled over for some kip. Better to arrive late and alive than not at all. About an hour later I woke up feeling much better and got back on the road. I had never been to the SES depot but I had a Sydney street directory in the car and the address wasn't hard to find. I pulled into the car park there at 2AM. Jasmin should be easy to find as it wasn't that big. There were only a few other vehicles in the carpark there so the party was winding down. The DJ was packing up inside. Apparently nobody was interested in dancing any longer. There were about a dozen people sitting around but Jasmin was not among them. Perhaps she had gone home already. A few people were talking but most just seemed to be relaxing. One older guy that didn't appear drunk came over to me. I found out his name was Rodney and he was in charge. When I asked about Jasmin he understood I was her boyfriend. He laughed, saying on the rare occasions she came to the depot I was the only guy she talked about. Rodney said Jasmin and her mother had already gone home. There was another guy there close to my age that kept looking over my way. He was a little paunchy and I figured he must be Graham. Well there was nothing for it but to drive over to her place and camp out until dawn in my car. At least I knew where she was and that I would see her soon. When I arrived at Jasmin's I couldn't see any lights on inside. It was about 2am then and obviously much too late to go and knock. So where to park? The terrace house fronted the river and if I parked on the riverside I would have to be a long way along not to be viewable from upstairs. It shouldn't matter too much though as I had changed cars inside the last two months and hopefully Lorelle's contacts hadn't mentioned the new Toyota. So I parked about three houses down where the branches of a palm tree on the roadside would conceal me from the upstairs windows. I figured the morning sun would wake me early enough that I could freshen up in a nearby public restroom before knocking on the door for breakfast. It was still dark when I was roused from sleep by the noise of a loud engine going by. I glimpsed the rear lights of a truck and saw it doing a u-turn where the road widened. The truck came back past me but I didn't look, trying to avoid the headlight beams in my eyes. It must have done another u-turn when it went past as the headlights lit up the interior of my car when it parked some distance behind me. I held my wrist up in the light and saw that the time was only 2:40am. I tried not to be too annoyed at being woken though and reclined my seat further, hoping to sleep again. I eventually did drop off again but my sleep was restless. I dreamed fitfully, my sleep troubled and broken. Jasmin's Words Somehow I had fallen asleep. I didn't think I would because I was so confused about what had happened in the carpark first with Graham and then with Rodney. I jerked upright when I was roused by someone shaking my shoulder. Rodney laughed, not apologetic at all. "Ready to go home, Jasmin?" It was all quiet and he said that everyone was gone and he had locked up already. I was still incredibly embarrassed and couldn't look at Rodney. He was the same silver haired Rodney I had first met four years ago. I had never imagined he would be like he was in the carpark. I knew that there was no way I would ever come to the SES again. I never wanted to see him or Graham again. As for Graham going with us for the weekend in the mountains I would argue about that with mum later in the morning. Rodney picked up a box of stuff and told me to carry a rolled up mattress and blanket out to the truck. I was so tired and didn't want to but to keep conversation to a minimum I just picked them up and carried them out. We went outside and I was surprised to see that Rodney was taking one of the trucks. What a bummer, they were so bouncy and uncomfortable. It was a new one and didn't have all the SES markings on it yet. Rodney stood behind me as I pulled myself up into the cabin. I half expected that he would take the opportunity to put his hands on me again but he was doing something with the door and I pulled myself up quickly. Rodney handed the mattress and blanket up to me. "Just toss that stuff up behind the seats," he said. The truck cabin was very roomy so at least I would be sitting well away from him. Behind the seats there was a large space, big enough for a long bed. There was a curtain that was tied back behind the seats. It was pretty tidy there, not messy with papers and folders like the other trucks that I had seen. Rodney swung the box he had behind the drivers seat and drove out through the swipe card automatic boom gate that he must have turned back on before he came and woke me. As we went onto the road I found out it wasn't so bouncy as my seat was sprung like the drivers seats in the other trucks. We turned the wrong way and all he said was, "Woops." I didn't want to talk with Rodney at all if I could help it so I stayed quiet. We were definitely going the long way home though.