27 comments/ 25224 views/ 8 favorites Ivy Pt 02 (aka Jasmine) By: trojan5678 This story is a continuation of Stangstar06's "Ivy"; I really liked the story but wanted to take a stab at a second chapter. I recommend you read his story before this one. While this could be a stand alone, it is probably important to understand the characters he created before jumping into this one. I did the best I could to research, as well as to stick to the true nature of the characters that were already created. I have no medical knowledge outside of Wiki but tried to make everything as accurate as I could. Hopefully I stuck true to the original story; I didn't try to change anything (well, only one or two things I did but not if I could help it). Unfortunately I tried to ask for permission to post but he hasn't returned any of my messages; if he contacts me and asks for it to be taken down I will gladly do so, but hope that doesn't happen. Still, I hope you enjoy... PS This story underwent a few minor changes without changing much of the story at all; 1) The ending has slightly been changed due to previous complaints, and 2) It has been edited by Mikothebaby, with much thanks to her! * Jasmine There are times when you just want to turn back the clock. Or hit the reset button and do things over again, but maybe a little bit differently this time. Personally, I wouldn't have changed that much in my life. I really did enjoy the life that I had led on a day to day basis. But despite all of that, there were a few major events in my life that I would have changed in a heartbeat. Only a few events would be changed, but the kind of events that were significant enough to destroy a man's life. And of these there was one event... or two, or three, depending on how you look at it, that I really would have changed. It would have been for the first true love of my life, Ivy, to never have cheated on me. I really think she did love me, deep down, but she just couldn't stay away from fucking other guys. Sometimes to this very day I will sit back and reflect on what could have been. Occasionally, I will sit down on a chair out on my deck, stare up into the sky, and wonder what my life would have been like -- and hers -- if she actually had an ounce of self control. It sounds pathetic, I know, but I really did love her. Or there was Colleen. Colleen, my first wife, I still miss her terribly to this day. She may have been the first person in my life to truly understand me and to love me unconditionally. We really were the best of friends and the best of lovers. I just never had enough time with her; she was taken from me too soon. Colleen died of a stroke before we could start a family and have children together. Then there was Jasmine. A little girl who changed my life in so many ways, a little girl who became my best friend, a little girl who blossomed over the years and turned into a gorgeous woman that fell in love with me, even if I couldn't see it at first. Here was this amazing creature who loved me so much, but I misinterpreted her love for me as that of a daughter and not the love of a full grown adult woman (she wasn't my biological daughter but I loved her just as much as any father had loved his daughter, if not more). Jasmine was my life; she was everything that was amazing about this world. We had two children together, a twin boy and girl, and everything was looking up for the first time in my life. It would have been a perfect storybook ending. It should have been a perfect storybook ending. But Jasmine was taken from me, suddenly and without warning. One day she went out in her red mustang to pick up diapers for our twins, and the next thing I know, two police officers are at the door telling me she's dead, that she was killed in a car accident. Well, technically, I don't remember the police officers coming to my house, since most of that time period was a blur but that's what I am told. I was a mess really. I am still a mess, ever since Jasmine passed away. So here it is, almost two years later, and I'm getting a call from Jasmine's sister Rose, saying that she is alive. Rose is telling me that I do get a reset button on life, and that I do get to turn back the clock and have Jasmine back. "I'm telling you, Jasmine is in the hospital. She was in a coma. I know you're having a hard time believing this... well, I have been too." My anger was starting to get to me. "Rose, dammit, just stop right there. I don't want to hear any more about this. We both know she is gone." Rose kept talking. "But she's NOT! Listen, just listen. I know you only remember that her red mustang was smashed when the semi ran the red stoplight; of course nothing else mattered to you at that point in time. Jazz was your wife after all. But there were other cars involved in the accident. The semi smashed up not just Jazz's mustang, but also a green focus and a red avenger." "Rose," I tried to interrupt, frustrated. But she kept on talking -- even faster -- as if she wanted to get everything out since she knew I was going to explode. "The lady in the red avenger looked like Jazz. Look, I don't understand it all either, but somehow there was a mix-up. I mean, she was the same age as Jazz, she had the same kind of hair, even her..." "ROSE! We're done!" I slammed the phone down. It was uncharacteristic of me to treat Rose like that. Well, anyone really, but especially Rose. She had done so much for me to get me through the last few years. She had been a shoulder to cry on. She would often come by to take care of the twins when I just wasn't feeling up to it, and she'd even help straighten up the house and occasionally cook dinner. She did all of this, while she was putting herself through nursing school. I loved Rose, but this time she had crossed the line. I ran my fingers through my hair and went to the restroom to throw some cold water on my face. It was amazing how she had worked me up. I was glad she didn't call back, but Rose was a smart girl. She knew when I was pissed off that the best thing to do was give me space. "Jasmine still alive, what the fuck is she talking about." I kept mumbling to myself as if I had a small audience. I looked in the mirror above the washbowl at the old man or should I say the young man who felt twice his age. As I splashed the water over my face, I noticed that my hands were shaking. I honestly didn't think I was that angry. "Why would she... no way. No way... talk about a lawsuit if that actually happened. How could a mix-up like that slide past so many people." I remembered trying to identify Jasmine as she lay on the cold mortuary table. There was so much of her they couldn't show me even though they had cleaned her up well. "How could a mix-up like that slide past me, her husband of all people. No, it can't be true." But the more I tried to remember the past and everything that had happened, I felt myself making the mistake of letting a shred of hope and doubt enter my mind. I didn't want hope. I couldn't afford hope. In fact, the only times I ever had tried to hope in my life, it ended up letting me down. The man in the mirror stared back at me, with anger in his eyes and tears streaming down his face. "Jasmine is dead, she's not coming back. SHE'S DEAD!" The mirror exploded into thousands of tiny glass fragments as blood ran down my fist. ***** It was eerily quiet this particular night. I had already tucked in both Ivy and Ivan upstairs in their beds. They fell asleep earlier than normal. I was almost asleep on the downstairs couch when the phone rang again. A slight smile crept up on my face. I knew it was Rose. I figured she thought she had given me enough time to settle down before calling me again. She was probably right, she often was. I had just gotten up off the couch and grabbed the phone by the fourth ring. Sure enough, the caller ID told me it was Rose. I didn't even start off with a hello. "I'm sorry, Rose. I..." "Don't be, it's ok," she said in a gentle voice. "I should have stopped by to tell you in person. I haven't even told Mom or Michael yet. I thought you should be the first. I know how special Jazzi was to you, and you've been through more than just about anyone." "Rose." I didn't know what to say. Rose changed gears in the conversation. "I'm at the hospital right now. I've been talking to the family of Katrina for the last few months. She's the one that was in the red avenger that I told you about. Dad, I've seen pictures of her and she does look like Jasmine. She looks more like Jasmine's sister than even I do." I smiled a little. One of my favorite pictures ever was with Jasmine, Michael, and Rose standing together in our backyard. Jasmine and Rose looked so much alike in that particular picture. I wasn't sure that I believed her but I was already out of tears and the old wounds had been torn open. So it was of no use to try to seal them back again this quickly. "You know, Rose," I thought for a few moments before carrying on. "I loved Jasmine like you wouldn't believe. And after Ivy and Colleen and well," I wanted to choose my words carefully. "Rose, I love you, but you better be right about this. If you're wrong, I just don't know if I can take something like this." "Dad," she said. "I wouldn't have called you if I didn't believe it myself. You know I work at Memorial, the same hospital that Jasmine is in right now, the one they thought Katrina was in. Katrina's family has been by her side the whole time, thinking it was her. I would visit with them periodically and see how Katrina was doing. She has a father, mother, and a sister. They are really nice people. Over the last several months, she's been coming out of the coma but she has a long way to go to regain a lot of her cognitive function and dealing with the environment around her. There is some brain damage, but she's getting better and better every day now that she's awake." I continued to listen intently. "So, anyway, Ken, Mary, and her sister Breanne have been doing therapy with her. Gradually they've noticed a few things that didn't make sense. Her eyes looked slightly different. They were the same color but darker than they remembered. Katrina had a scar on her back from a boating accident when she was in high school, but Breanne noticed it wasn't there. She..." "Rose," I interrupted. "That doesn't mean anything. That's not exactly solid evidence." "Yea, but Dad, here's the kicker. During her therapy one day, Breanne asked if she knew who her sister was. Dad, she said my name. She said her sister's name was 'Rose' not 'Breanne'. I am telling you, Jasmine is in the hospital!" My heart had just about stopped. As my grip weakened, the phone almost slipped from my grasp and I had to catch it. "I...I'll be right there." ***** I wasn't completely sold on the fact that Jasmine was in the hospital, but the shred of hope that wormed its way into my brain had now grown so much larger. Part of me didn't want to believe that Jasmine was alive. I loved her to death, but I was finally starting to accept that she was gone. I guess it felt safer putting everything behind me. I would give anything to be with Jasmine again, absolutely anything. But if Rose was wrong, then the greater amount of hope that I had in me would become an even greater amount of suffering in the end. I called Ivy and Ivan's great grandmother over to watch the two. I didn't explain why, but I knew she could tell I was agitated and in a rush. Always the understanding one and quick to do anything for family, she came over in the dead of night without so much as asking me a single question. I admired her for that. With a quick peck on her cheek, I was out the door, in the Mustang, and roaring down the road and to the hospital. Rose met me just outside of Jasmine's room and greeted me with a long embrace. I hugged her back tightly. Over her shoulder I saw three people -- a man and two women -- sitting down with their arms draped across each other while watching me hug Rose. They weren't crying, but they looked very forlorn. I couldn't help but think it was Katrina's family. All I could think to myself was, if that really was Jasmine in there, and she really was brought back to me, then that meant that another life was taken away just as quickly. For Jasmine to be raised from the dead, that meant that Katrina had to die. I closed my eyes and couldn't look at Katrina's family. My stomach turned as I thought about the pain and confusion they must be going through, the same pain and confusion that I had been exposed to the last two years. That was a horrible feeling that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. "She's awake, Dad, but she still isn't all there. The doctors say she needs a lot more therapy. She remembers all of us, but Jazz has lost a lot of her memory. We're slowly trying to figure out just how much but again, it's going to be a long process." "Thank you, Rose." I still held Rose, but I turned my head to peer in the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. "You can go in, Dad. She's been sleeping most of the time and is sleeping right now, but she knows you are coming. You can wait until she wakes up if you like. I know she'd want you to be there when she wakes." I kissed Rose on the cheek, squeezed her hand, took a deep breath and went in the room. My knees actually felt weak; my legs tingled as I walked. It took everything I had to keep myself upright. It reminded me of the time I walked in the mortuary to identify Jasmine the first time. Ironically, this time it felt like the complete polar opposite, I was walking into a room to identify Jasmine, but to identify that she was alive. A young woman lay in the hospital bed. At first it was hard to get a look at her face because of all the machines surrounding her and cords and tubes attached to her body. I slowly moved next to her, taking in every feature of her that I could. I noticed a few scars on her face, up by her forehead and ear, but they had actually healed up nicely. It had been two years since this person had been in the hospital after all. Her skin, her cute little nose, her eyelashes, the shape of her face, everything about her seemed to scream it. It was Jasmine. ***** I don't exactly remember what I dreamed before I woke up, but I do know that Jasmine was in it. I can't remember if she was dead or alive or some kind of apparition in it, but I remember a feeling of joy mixed with sorrow. It was like Jasmine came back to see me, one last time, only to tell me to let her go. It was like a dream of closure, even though I didn't want closure. The only thing I really remember was that she touched my hand. The touch from her hand felt so, so real, so amazing. At this point in my dream, I realized that it wasn't real and that I would be waking up soon. So I clung to her hand tightly, telling her that I wouldn't let her go. I refused to let her go. I wanted to remember the feeling of holding her hand as she held mine. I swore I would never even wash that hand again as long as it had her natural scent on it. I woke up, but it still felt like I was holding her hand. It felt more real. In fact, as I moved my head upwards and off the hospital bed to stretch my cramped neck, I realized that I was holding Jasmine's hand. I guess I fell asleep sitting next to her bed. I'm not sure how long I was out but the sun had already came up. Rose must have pulled a few strings with the hospital staff to have allowed me to stay here overnight. "Good morning, sleepy head," a tired voice told me. Jasmine smiled at me weakly, stroking the back of my hand. At that very moment, I wanted to jump on the bed and kiss her and squeeze her and hold her for the rest of my natural life. Joy overwhelmed me like I had never experienced before. I could feel a few tears start to roll out of my eyes. But instead, I froze like a deer in the headlights. "G..good morning, Jazz." Really? 'Good morning Jazz' was the best I could get out? I tried to shake the cobwebs out of my head. "Jasmine, I can't believe this, you're alive!" She smiled back at me. My joy suddenly turned into sorrow. All I could think about was how I had abandoned her for the last two years. Here she was, battered and injured and on death's doorstep and I was nowhere to be found. She had to get better alone, without her family. I melted down and couldn't stop sobbing. The look on her face turned from a weak smile to sadness. Jasmine held out her arms and I fell forward to her gently, holding her and sobbing like a baby. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I...I didn't know... I...." I could hear her sniffling a little. "Don't cry, please. Don't be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong." Here she was, comforting me, when it should have been the other way around. I tried as hard as I could to hold it together. Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I wanted to look at her again. "Jazz, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. They told me you had died. I remember watching on television, the red mustang, the crash. I remember..." "It's ok, really. I don't remember any of that, and I was in a coma most of the time anyway. So they tell me." She gave me a weak squeeze on my hand and closed her eyes. "I'm just glad you're here now, that's all that matters." "Well, I can tell you honey, I'll never leave your side again." I smiled at her knowing that I meant every word. I still couldn't believe my Jasmine was back." We didn't talk much, but simply enjoyed each other's presence. I never did let go of her hand. There was so much I wanted to tell her over the last few years, but I couldn't think of a single thing to say. In fact, when there was talking, most of the time it was her. I would just listen. It wasn't that I didn't have anything to say, I just didn't want to take my focus off of her. When we did talk, most of the time it was her initiating the conversation. She wasn't her same fiery self, of course, which didn't surprise me. I was willing to bet that would come back with time and healing. When she spoke, it really wasn't about family or the kids or anything like that. Not about her mom, or her brothers and sisters, or even our twins. She'd ask about simple day-to-day things like how my job was lately, or if I still drove my GT Mustang. I guessed that it was easier for her to think of normal mundane things instead of delving into family life. We sat there for hours and hours. Even though we were in the hospital, I didn't mind. It was just amazing having my Jasmine back again, to be able to simply hold her, after years of not being able to touch her, to be able to stare at her, when I had only been able to look at pictures of the past. Maybe that was why I didn't talk very much. I was still getting used to everything. Yesterday, Jasmine was dead. Today she was alive. It was impossible to wrap my mind around that. There was so much to take in. Finally, the nurse came in, and told us it was time for Jazz to do some therapy, and that I had to leave. Today was a big day for her. They were going to try to work on her legs for the first time. Not even walking yet, just simply standing up. I didn't want to go, of course; I could have stayed in that room with her forever. I leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Alright, honey, I'm going to let you go now." I could almost see a whimper come across her face. "Don't worry; I'll be back later tonight. You'll be ok, baby." Jasmines face lit up. "Promise me," she said with a raised eyebrow. I laughed, "I promise." Another nurse came in the room. The two of them helped Jazz into a wheel chair. "I'll tell Ivy and Ivan you said hi," I told her. She turned and looked at me somewhat quizzically. She said, somewhat irritated, "Ivan, huh? So I guess Ivy finally has a steady boyfriend or is he just the flavor of the day? Never mind, don't answer that. She makes my stomach turn just thinking about it." Ivy Pt 02 (aka Jasmine) I was surprised with her response. She thought I was talking about Ivy her mother, not Ivy her daughter. But to confuse Ivan...? As they started to wheel her out of the room, Jasmine said something that I'd never forget for the rest of my life. Something that would throw my life back into a world of turmoil. With one last look and smile at me over her shoulder, Jasmine told me, "I'll see you tonight, remember you promised. Love you, Daddy." ...Daddy? ***** I had time to let it sink in. Daddy? She called me Daddy. "Rose, for crying out loud she thinks I'm her father! She called me Daddy. She obviously doesn't know that she was married to me! She also thought that Ivan was a boyfriend of your mothers. She doesn't even remember her own children! Did you know about this? What am I supposed to do?" "Dad, slow down," Rose replied by putting her cup of coffee down and then putting her hand on my shoulder. "The doctors told me she had memory loss. It's common in accidents of that magnitude. I didn't know that she had lost that much of her memory." Rose looked concerned as well. I could see the worry on her face and the sadness in her eyes. "I'll talk with the doctors, but it's hard to tell how deep amnesia can be, and what she does and doesn't remember. I am really so sorry. I had no idea either." It was hard not to leave my head hanging but I tried to keep it up for Rose. "I know I should be grateful that she is just alive. And I am, don't get me wrong. I'm extremely grateful. I could do back flips right about now." Rose laughed a little. "If you even try a back flip right now, you'll just end up in a hospital bed next to her, you know. You're not as young as you used to be." I laughed in return. "Hey! First of all, I'm not that old. Secondly, being in a hospital bed next to Jasmine wouldn't be that bad of a deal so don't tempt me." She laughed and shook her head. I continued, "I'm just worried. Not just for her, but for the twins, too. I mean, she views me as her father, just like she used to when she was younger. Ok, obviously her feelings did change for me from father to soul mate somewhere along the way," I felt creepy saying it like that, like some kind of pervert even though I knew Rose would understand what I meant, "but her memory loss obviously goes back far enough to when she remembered me as her father figure." I sighed. "Well, I love Jasmine, and will do whatever it takes for her. I can't imagine never being intimate with her again, or loving her as a husband loves a wife, but," I choked, "if she never gets that part of her memory back, I'll still be there for her. As a father, as a friend, as whatever she needs." It looked like Rose was tearing up. "Hey, don't doubt her too much. She fell for you before, she'll do it again. Just give her time." "Thanks Rose, but I'm a realist, and with exception of the last few days my luck hasn't been that great. We both know there's a chance that will never happen. And the last thing I want to do is force her to feel something that isn't genuine." I smiled. "But the most important thing is Jasmine is back with us. All of us need to focus on her for a while, remind her she is loved and do absolutely whatever it takes to care for and comfort her." ***** It was amazing how quickly Jasmine started to heal and progress through physical therapy. She was already walking with a walker; she could take a good ten steps before she had to sit and rest. And even then she refused to sit for long. Jazz would be right back up again to try and conquer another ten steps. I don't know if she was progressing so rapidly because she was surrounded by family and friends or if it was because her body had so much time to heal during her almost two year long coma. I'd like to think it was the former, but either way I was grateful. We all came together to help Jazz. Even her mother and I got along well as we bent over backwards to get her better. I guess hell was in the process of freezing over. There were a few bumps along the way, of course. Like the twins, her children. When she was discharged from the hospital, Jazz insisted on coming to stay with me. Obviously I wasn't going to complain, but I didn't know how to explain Ivy and Ivan. What was the best way to explain the two young ones, who didn't even remember their mother since they were barely five months old when the car accident happened and hadn't seen her since? It wasn't fair for Ivy and Ivan to not realize their mother was back with them. It was even less fair to Jasmine to explain that I wasn't really her father figure but I was much more than that. Reluctantly, I would have to explain Ivy and Ivan in a not so truthful manner. The easiest road would have been to tell her that they were her brother and sister. With all the kids that her mother, Ivy, had along with the problem of closing her legs, it wouldn't have been that much of a stretch. I considered asking Rose if she'd pretend to be the mother of Ivy and Ivan, but that would be too hard to pull off and it wouldn't be fair to Rose anyway. I'm still not sure what the best decision was, but I had to choose something. Well, no matter what I would decide, the fact was Ivy and Ivan knew I was their father and would treat me as such. Not like I'd want it any other way. Another major speed bump besides the twins would be our husband-wife relationship. What I really wanted to do was confess to her that I was her husband. The doctors told me it would be best for Jasmine to give it some time and try to let her memories return normally. But that was if they would return at all. In a normal amnesia situation, various methods of jogging one's memory could normally help restore memories of the past and was an encouraged method, but they were worried that it could be too much strain for her if her perception of me suddenly jumped from father figure to husband. The last thing I wanted to do was set back her healing process. Of course, I began to think the worst. What if she never viewed me as a husband? What if those memories never returned? What if, even worse, she'd get better and fall in love with some other guy and want to marry him? I tried not to think about that, because if I did my head would start spinning. But right now, Jazz needed me. "Careful now, watch your step." I held the door open and held Jazzi's arm as she carefully walked through the door and into our house. "Mi casa es su casa, hon. Make yourself at home." I smiled as I said it, but honestly it made me sick I had to even say that when the truth was it was already OUR home. "I've made up your room downstairs." Before I could even get inside the house, Ivy and Ivan came running up to me. "Daddy, Daddy!" Jazz smiled as I bent down to pick them up and give them a hug and a kiss. "They're adorable. I still can't believe you have two children, let alone twins." I thought I saw a flash of sorrow cross her face for a moment. It was probably because I told her that their mother was out of the picture for the time being. Yes, it was my first bald faced lie and I didn't feel good about it. "They certainly grow up quick," I said. Ivy, Jazz's mother and today's babysitter for Ivy and Ivan, ran up to hug her. "Jasmine!" As the two embraced each other, it did warm me up a little knowing that the two of them were on much better terms than they used to be. I could see them both crying, especially Ivy. "I just finished making up your room. I wasn't expecting you two this soon. You must have made great time from the hospital. Let me help you to your room." "I'm fine, Mom. The last thing I want to do right now is lay down. I'm tired, but its great just being in a normal home right now and out of the hospital. Besides, I have two children I need to get to know." Jasmine bent down slightly, smiling at Ivy and Ivan. It was as if she never left. I almost cried right then and there. While Jasmine was looking at the twins, I looked over at Ivy and could tell she was thinking the same thing; I saw tears forming in her eyes, too. "Ivy, Ivan, can you say hi to the pretty lady?" I wanted to instead say, "This is your mother," but didn't. Ivy was a little bashful. She didn't say anything but looked at Jazz, burying her head against my chest. Ivan on the other hand gave her a big smile and said "Hi!" I put the twins down and thanked Ivy for watching them. I knew Ivy still had mixed emotions about me and Jazz, but ever since we found out she was alive, Ivy did everything she could to bend over backwards for her oldest daughter. Like me, she took days and days off of work until there wasn't any more to take off. "Take care of her, Tim," she whispered to me as she started to head out the door. She turned to me one last time and said with a sad smile, "I already know you will. Thank you for that." Ivy closed the door behind her. ***** "Ok, Jazzi, you have to be starving. Now that the kids are down for their naps, why don't you let me make you something? I know, how about waffles?" Jasmine smiled. "Sure, waffles sound great. Why waffles though? It's the middle of the day." I laughed. "Well, I'm not sure if you remember, but the first time you came to live with me and help out as my assistant, we had waffles. Well, technically we picked up a pizza and ate it here, but that doesn't count." I could see her desperately trying to remember. "So you're saying I lived here at one time?" I was a little heartbroken that she didn't remember. It wasn't surprising, but it still wasn't easy to take. "You did. For a while, actually." I smiled, thinking of our happy times together. Pulling the frozen waffles out of the freezer, I began to tell her about the waffles she made for us the next morning and how I braved trying the near-expired maple syrup. How I acted like it was poison and threw myself on the floor convulsing. She laughed as I told her the story. "So, when did you get married, then? I mean, I assume you were married when you had Ivy and Ivan. Quite honestly I'm surprised you named your little girl after Ivy, especially with all the pain she caused you." I cringed a little. We were tackling questions that I didn't want to answer. I thought for a moment that I noticed a look on her face of concern, not just mere curiosity, as she asked her questions. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed at Ivy for what she did to you. And me, even. But I'm grateful everyone -- including her -- was at my side this entire time." A look of concern crossed her face. "Please tell me Ivy and Ivan aren't my mother's. I know the affect that woman has on you." I laughed. "No, no, trust me. She's old news. Have a little faith in me." Jasmine still waited for me to explain as I put the waffles in the toaster oven. She crossed her arms as if waiting for some kind of explanation. "Um, well, their mother, like I told you, is out of the picture." "Are you two still married? Divorced?" Fuck, I can't believe she's asking me that. If I said divorced, I'd be a liar. If I said married that would open up a whole different can of worms and take me down a path I didn't want to go on. I figured I'd try to turn the tables on her so I could avoid answering. Answer a question with a question and hope it worked. I couldn't win by answering that question. "Why are you so interested?" I think I caught her off guard with that one. She came off the offensive and sunk back into the couch a little. "Well, I don't know. Ivy and Ivan are so cute and adorable. Clearly they get it from you. It's hard to believe anyone could leave them behind." She sighed, "Plus you've been through so much. You deserve someone special in your life to help you raise them and care for them." It was hard not to choke up. Still, I managed a smile as I started to pour the syrup on the waffles. "Well, in that case you'll have to help me for a little while. Don't think just because you're doing physical therapy that you can duck out of helping me around this place and earning your keep." I winked at her. She looked indignant, at least in a playful kind of way. "Oh really? Well when I get better and start making more meals around the house and cleaning up and changing diapers, don't be surprised if you get a weekly bill from me!" I laughed. "Well clearly the accident didn't sap out your fiery personality." I brought out the waffles, milk and orange juice. I went to the couch to get Jazz and escort her to the table so she could eat. Gently I took her arm. As I helped her to stand, I looked into her eyes and told her, "In all seriousness, though, you just focus on getting better, ok? I lost you once. I'm not planning on losing you again." She looked at me with those beautiful eyes. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but instead only nodded. Jasmine leaned forward to hug me, squeezing those amazing breasts against my chest. I didn't want the embrace to end. I breathed in deep as I smelled the sweet scent of her hair. Even if she didn't love me as a husband, I could still love her as a wife, even if she didn't know it. Breakfast was like heaven. It was simple and cheap, and the waffles weren't exactly made from scratch. We didn't really talk that much at the table. But without a doubt it was the single best meal of my life. ***** Several months went by and Jasmine was getting better. She had small parts of her memory return, but not nearly as much as I had hoped nor as fast as I wanted. We did manage to visit Ken, Mary, and Breanne a couple times. The funny thing is Jazz and I completely expected them to be angry with us. Here they had what they thought was their daughter, recovering in a hospital that had just survived a horrendous accident and began to emerged from a coma. And then with a cruel twist of fate, they soon began to learn that it was someone else who looked almost identical to their daughter. But it wasn't their daughter. As nervous as we both were, they somehow put us both at ease and were at peace with what happened to Katrina. I always thought it should have been the other way around. I still don't know how they did it. They showed so much grace to us and found peace that their daughter was up in heaven. Their strength was amazing. When I thought Jasmine had died, I never found a shred of the peace that they had. In fact, Jasmine and Breanne had become good friends. What amazed me the most about all of this, was that even when Breanne found out that Jasmine really wasn't Katrina, she still worked with her in therapy as if Jasmine really was her sister. Even when Jasmine was released from the hospital, her and Breanne kept in contact through email and facebook almost every day, and even managed to visit each other every one or two weeks. Rose would often join them. It was like the three of them became close sisters. I'm not saying that Katrina could be replaced, but it did seem to me that even though Breanne lost a sister, she gained two more. Jasmines mobility was also getting better. She could walk a lot further without getting tired. She wasn't exactly doing P90X, but Jazz did a lot of swimming, did some walking and light jogging, and even took up light weight training to strengthen her body. She would even try to help around the house but I thought she was overdoing it. Our first argument since she'd been back came one night when I came home from work to find her surprising me with a homemade dinner. I could smell the salmon before I even entered the house. It smelled amazing. When I opened the door I expected to see company, but it was just Jasmine in the kitchen. "Jasmine, what are you doing?" I didn't think before I blurted it out. No hellos or "it smells good but" or anything. Of course it didn't even dawn on me how rude it sounded until well after our argument. She looked shocked at my reaction. "I'm making salmon and wild rice for dinner, one of your favorites, you jerk." "I'm sorry, it's just, well, I thought it was your Grandmothers turn to watch Ivy and Ivan today." "I know. I sent her home early. I'm feeling a lot better, and besides I can't just sit on the couch all day. I can take care of Ivy and Ivan and even make dinner. Not bad for a 'little girl', huh?" She stuck her tongue out at me. I wasn't amused. The last thing I wanted was for her to relapse or hurt herself. "Look, Jasmine Marie, I don't mind if you do some of your exercising, only because the doctors said it would help you recover, but they also said you also need your rest time and you're not doing that." "Oh, so we're using my middle name now?" she snapped back. "Yes, Daddy," she said with oozing sarcasm and anger. "Forgive me for taking care of the twins and trying to do something nice for you, like making one of your favorite meals." She slammed the wooden spoon in her hand onto the counter and it bounced up and flipped over, falling on to the floor. I cringed as she said "Daddy" again. My temper, combined with the use of her middle name, led her down a bad path. I was hoping she'd come to see me as her husband and have memories return of her married life with me, and now I'd just set us back I don't know how many months by acting like her father. Fuck. Jazz started to storm off to her room. "Rice is done. Salmon has a few more minutes. Make it yourself. I have some 'resting' I need to do." She put an emphasis on the word resting. "Wait...wait." I chased her down to apologize. I lightly grabbed the back of her arm and turned her around. "I'm sor..." I choked as I tried to apologize. She unknowingly had distracted me. Now that I was on the other side of the counter I saw how she was dressed; I already knew that she had a white, tight little tank top on because I could see it when I walked in. But what I didn't realize she was wearing only panties until now and the tank top was more of a midriff, so I got to see a lot more of her flesh than I thought possible. I felt like I was staring at her sexy flat tummy and tight little white panties. Well, I was staring at them. I closed my eyes and lowered my head to the floor, hoping that she didn't notice. And so I could concentrate on the apology. It was bad enough that I also had to strategically move my hands in front of my crotch so she wouldn't see my tent poking out. "I'm sorry, honey." I raised my head and opened my eyes to see that her entire demeanor had changed. She wasn't angry anymore, but she did have a perplexed yet amused look on her face that I couldn't figure out. I tried to pretend that my faux pas had never happened and carefully continued with my apology. "I really mean it, I am sorry. I just, well, I guess I'm a bit on edge. I lost you once, Jazzi. I don't EVER want to lose you again. That was the worst thing in the world that could ever happen to me, and as you know I've had a few bad things come my way, to say the least. I don't want you to overdo it and end up back in the hospital, or worse. I love that you love taking care of Ivy and Ivan, and that you love cooking and cleaning and everything else." I even had to slip in what was on my heart. I said "Believe me. You'll make the perfect wife some day. But like I said, don't overdo it." That statement was just vague enough, but to me I already knew she WAS the perfect wife. My wife, even if she didn't know it. I think I was saying the right things, because I could tell by looking into her big doe eyes that she was melting a little. "Hey, you're not gonna lose me. Even if you do act like an ass," she smiled. I laughed and nodded. "I know, I know. Just be careful." I held her face in my hands gently; I wanted to communicate how serious I was feeling. "Remember what the doctors said about your brain trauma and loss of memory. I don't need you getting a stroke on me." Ivy Pt 02 (aka Jasmine) Jasmine placed her hands upon mine and nodded. She closed her eyes and I could hear her take a deep breath. The timer for the salmon went off. She smiled. "Saved by the bell." She walked back into the kitchen. I couldn't help but stare at her ass as she walked away. "Why don't you come help me if you're so worried about me? You can set the table. Don't even think about touching the food though; I'm still gonna do the cooking. You'd find a way to burn the milk if I left you alone in here." I almost slapped her ass out of habit when she said that. It took everything I had to resist. I was a tormented man. "Tell you what. I'll set the table if you get some clothes on, young lady." "Not gonna happen. I'm more comfortable this way. You DO want me to be more comfortable after everything I've been through, don't you?" She dramatized every last word and batted her eyelashes at me. I was putty in her hands but I didn't want to let her know. She was killing me. I bit my lip and turned away from her to set the table. I could have sworn I heard a very quiet, short giggle behind me. If I couldn't have her, then I'd be spending some serious solo time upstairs with myself tonight. ***** "So what about boyfriends?" She cut the silence like a knife with the question I knew she would eventually ask, I just wasn't ready for it. Nor was I expecting it on a quiet night like this as we both sat in front of the fireplace. Inside I was freaking out, even though I tried to remain calm on the outside. I was thinking the worst, was she lonely? Was she thinking it was time to look for a boyfriend? I felt ill. I had one arm over her shoulder and we both sat on the floor in front of the couch. I casually looked over at her to see what she was thinking as she pulled the soft fur blanket up to her neck and tucked her knees in. I could see her staring at the fire dancing in the fireplace, the light reflected off of her eyes. She was deep in thought. I had begun to learn that quiet moments like these were when she would really do a lot of soul searching and try to remember anything that she had forgotten about her past, especially since the last several years were a complete blank. "Well, you really didn't have any, at least that I know of." That was technically true, she had a husband. "You were busy with college and work. I think, I think you were at a place in your life where you were looking for the right guy." That was mostly true. What I said was the past tense version of her reality; i.e. she FOUND the right guy versus LOOKING for the right guy. She nodded slowly. She leaned her head onto my shoulder; I heard her sniffle a little. "You don't know how hard it is to not be able to remember a thing. It's like the last few years never happened, like I was frozen in time. And I don't mean just the coma." I held her tighter and tried to listen. I wanted to interrupt her and tell her everything would be ok, but I knew Jazz. She just wanted to vent right now and process everything that had been going on in her life. She was quiet for a moment. "Do you know something? I haven't told anyone this, but I do remember something over the last few years. It's not like I remember a specific event or anything, but," She trailed off. My heart froze. I calmly asked her, "What do you remember?" Thinking about her words before she spoke, still gazing at the hypnotic rhythm of the flames, Jasmine said, "I remember being happy. In general, I mean. I know, it's not much to work with, but I just remember my life really turned around and I was the happiest I had ever been, like, I had just started the 'happily ever after' part of a princess fairy tale. And I can't REMEMBER why." She burst out in tears, and I held her tighter. "Did I have a boyfriend that made me happy? I know you said I didn't, but it feels like I did. If I did, why wasn't he there for me? Why isn't he here for me now?" I so badly wanted to pour my heart and soul out to her and tell her everything, especially hearing about the joy that she had. I was going to call the therapists first thing in the morning and tell them I couldn't do this anymore. I had to know what they thought of Jasmine and if she was ready for the truth. I know I was getting impatient, but the thought that her memory might never return frightened me. She leaped up. "I can't remember a fucking thing! Do you have any idea what that's like?" By the tone in her voice, I could tell her crying and sorrow was quickly turning into a type of lamenting anger. I knew she wasn't angry with me, but I had never seen her come unglued like this. I stood up and lightly touched her shoulders. "I, I can't answer that, Jazz. But whatever happens, I'll be here for you, every step of the way. I'll help you get through this, ok? I'll do whatever it takes for you to find that happiness again." I meant that. Jazzi immediately fell into my arms and began weeping like a baby. I could feel myself misting up, too. I just wanted to make everything alright for her. With or without me by her side, I'd make sure she finds the joy that she once had and now couldn't remember. No matter what it took! ***** It was a rare occasion for her to have meltdowns, but they did happen. No one could blame her given everything she had been through. Most of the time, she was still her regular joyful self, a bit more cautious in the world, but for the most part she was the same Jazz I remember. We went slow and took each step day by day. It was surprising what Jazz had picked up, and what she hadn't. Some of the more difficult things that I thought she'd never be able to do again she had already mastered, and some of the simple things that I took for granted in everyday life became a challenge to her. For example, she could walk and jog which stunned even the doctors, but she still had difficulties tying her own shoes. It was the easy things that she got the most frustrated with. I was floored when she took her expensive Asics and in a fit of rage threw them in the trash. That same night, Jazz got a babysitter so we could take the Mustang out and go shopping for a pair of Velcro cross trainers. I bit my tongue knowing it would take us forever to find a pair and certainly wasn't looking forward to that shopping trip, but I still had to tease her just a little. "Velcro shoes? Are the 80's coming back? We can swing by Verizon on the way home and see if they have one of those fat old school brick cell phones for you, I hear they're the next biggest thing..." She punched me in the arm. Hard. "Ow... hey!" I saw her give a slight smile as she grabbed the car keys from me and walked out the door. "Come on, you big baby. I'm driving." The soreness from the punch that landed outside of my stomach was immediately forgotten and replaced with a feeling of sickness inside my stomach. I had flashes of the red Mustang getting crushed by a semi all over again. "Whoa whoa whoa... I don't think that's such a good idea," I said chasing after her. She stopped, turned around, and gave me an icy glare that could have frozen a bonfire. I put my hand on her hand, the one that was holding the car keys. I took in a deep breath as she looked at me, just daring me to say something stupid. "Wait, I'm not saying you can't. I just want to make sure you're ready. Why don't we get this cleared with the medical staff first?" "I'm ready, Tim. It might take a little bit of trial and error, but I've been practicing. A couple of times a week after my jogs I'd grab your car keys and sit in the Mustang, practicing how to start the car, how to shift, even how to adjust the seats. With you sitting shotgun, you can coach me and make sure I don't get into any trouble. I trust you.I know you'll always bail me out." All I could think about was her accident. I admired her spirit, and maybe she was ready for it, but I certainly wasn't. Besides, the last time she sat behind the wheel, I didn't bail her out. I wish I could have, but I didn't. And it killed me knowing that I didn't. I bit my lip. "Jazzi, I don't even know if it's legal for you to drive after your accident. We haven't even begun to cross that bridge yet. Besides, you at least have to let me warm up to this, after what happened last time. Jazz, please." I held out my hand for the keys, holding my breath. She rolled her eyes, slammed the keys into my hand and turned to walk to the Mustang, this time heading for the passenger side. "Fine, you win, but tomorrow we talk to the doctors so they can clear me. I told you I'm ready. That means I'm ready." I was relieved, even though I felt bad for her. The victory did seem a little too easy, too. That got me to thinking. Wives usually win arguments like that. And she caved, which is something very rare for her to do. Maybe we were taking a step backwards; maybe she caved because she viewed me as her father still. Then again, she did call me Tim. Maybe we were on the right track after all. Oh, and five hours and six stores later, we did actually find her shoes. The things I do for that girl. ***** It felt like I could do back flips and cartwheels. The sky was blue, the birds were singing, and I had just left the office of one of Jasmines therapists. It was the best therapy session ever! Well, that being said, Jazz actually wasn't with us so maybe it didn't count as best therapy session ever. I did have to use a little deception, which I felt bad about. I told Jazz that I was going to work like any other regular day but I took it off in order to have a private and lengthy conversation about her. The therapist had told me that Jasmine and I needed to find a babysitter and spend some time together somewhere, just the two of us on a vacation. Her hope was that Jasmine might warm up to me in an intimate nature if we were in a much more stress-free environment without the worries of her day to day physical therapy, watching over Ivy and Ivan, and all of the regular house chores. By this time, she had even resumed her old job as my assistant, albeit on a part time basis and working from home. It still kept her busy, which was exactly what she wanted. Of course I nodded my head in excitement, but the therapist warned me to continue to remain neutral. Don't be a father, and don't be a husband. Let Jazz decide. In fact, she told me to take her to the same place where we had our honeymoon, if possible, in hopes that our previous experience on our honeymoon might help her memory to return. This would be our best shot. So needless to say, the both of us were excited when I told her to pack her bags because we were heading for a cabin up by the lake. "Just me and you, Jazz. I think we've both earned the right for a little R&R." Jazz replied, "Oh, I can't wait! But what about Ivy and Ivan?" "Don't worry, I've got that covered," I told her. "Your grandmother is coming to watch them; she'll be here in the next hour or so. Besides, we'll only be gone for about five days, so it isn't like Ivy and Ivan will forget you. You're practically their mother." I smiled at the irony of that statement. If only she knew. Besides, it didn't hurt to plant a few seeds in her brain. Maybe it would contribute to her memory returning some day. She ran up and threw her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. "This will be so nice! Let me start packing." It was funny how Jazz had even changed my driving style. Her accident honestly didn't affect the way I drove when I was by myself (I generally stuck to the +20% rule; in other words, if the speed limit was 70 I would take 20% of 70, which was 14, and add it to achieve my maximum speed, 84 in this example. Hey, I'm a mathematician in case you forgot). However, whenever I would take her out I found myself driving the speed limit. This was a first for me, ever. "Holy shit, you're killing me Tim. You're driving like you're in a Gremlin. Did you forget the fast moving horsey on the side of the car? Think of the power you're wasting right about now. It's almost a crime. By the time we get to the cabin it will be time to go home." I gave her a wicked look to let her know I was not amused -- something I rarely did. She just smiled and shook her head. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help letting a smile creep up on my face as well. Her smile was contagious. I tried not to let her see, but I did bump up the speed by five miles per hour. We made it up to the lake before evening, despite Jasmine harassing me that we would have traveled backwards in time if we went any slower. We stopped by a nice restaurant in the small lake town before arriving at the cabin. It was exhilarating to be back at the very same log cabin we spent our honeymoon in, only a stone's throw from the lake. As I stepped through the cabin doors with our luggage everything came back to me. I remember the rustic look as if we were there only yesterday. I wanted to drop the luggage, pick up Jazzi, and run to the bedroom right then and there. It was so close to being the perfect moment, but I also knew I was being selfish. Really, we were here for Jazz, in an attempt to get her memory back and de-stress her as much as possible at the same time. "Honey, what's wrong?" She asked me. I didn't realize it, but I had stopped in the doorway and my eyes had misted up a little. I tried to pick at my eye a little, doing the old 'I had something in my eye' trick, but I knew I wouldn't fool her. She moved up behind me, stood up on her tiptoes, and put her arms around my shoulders. She kissed my cheek. "You miss your wife, don't you?" I was stunned she said that, and caught completely off guard. Not thinking clearly, I nodded a little, instantly regretting it. Once again, I let her know too much. If only she knew. "It's ok. I know you don't like to talk about her, and I really don't know if she passed on or you two divorced or what. And you still don't have to tell me if you aren't comfortable with it. But I'll be here for you, you know. It's not the same, but still." I smiled softly and took her hand in mine. "There's no one I'd rather be here with Jasmine. You need to know that." She squeezed me a little tighter after I said that. "Besides, how did you know I was thinking of her, my wife, I mean?" Jasmine answered, "I know my memory hasn't returned all the way, but I know you. I remember you when I was young, and I remember how you've been treating me the last several months. We've spent a lot of time together, and well, I just know how to read you. I can't explain it, really, but I can tell when you are thinking about her. Just by the sadness and sorrow on your face when I catch you in certain moments, like now, for instance. I'm sure you were with her at one time in a place just like this and your memories of her are returning." I turned to face her, still in her arms. I could now see that she was misting up as well. "Jazzi, honey," I said, trying to find the right words. "All of that is in the past. Right now, I'm looking to the future. And I meant what I said. There is no one on earth that I'd rather be with right now. Believe it or not, but even though I've been by your side the last several crazy months, you've been by mine too, even if you didn't know it." I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and kiss her then and there. I settled for softly brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. I would take what I could get. ***** It took me a while to fall asleep in my room, but I was comfortable in the log cabin bed. The sound of the rain on the roof was enough to slightly wake me out of a deep sleep, but it was peaceful. I heard the door to my room slightly creak as it was being opened, followed by sniffling. Before my brain had fully registered what was going on, Jasmine lay down in the bed next to me. She slid close to me and curled up in a ball against my chest. "J...Jasmine, what's wrong?" I said, slowly starting to awaken. She wasn't full-out crying, but I could tell she was holding back. She didn't answer. "Jazzi, it's ok. You can talk to me if you want." I wrapped my arm around her waist and brought her closer to me. As my vision slowly started to adjust, I realized that was probably a mistake. She was wearing a thin -- probably see through -- baby doll nightie. And her tight little panties were well within my vision. I immediately started to harden. I still held her but had to roll more towards my back and away from the spooning position so she wouldn't notice. With my free hand, I started to stroke her hair. "I had that nightmare again. It was all fuzzy and a lot of it didn't make sense, like most dreams but it ended the same. I was driving down the highway when the last thing I saw was the grill on the semi before it smashed me." She sniffled a little more. "Every time I have that dream, it becomes more real than the last time." I held her tighter. I started to think taking her to the cabin might have been a bad idea after all. She had the same reoccurring nightmare at least once a week, sometimes every other week. The doctors told her it was good because it was her mind's way of processing the accident and trying to remember details that she previously had forgotten. I wasn't so sure. To me, it seemed like it only brought pain to her. I asked, "Do you want me to carry you back to your room?" She shook her head no. "Do you want to stay in here with me?" She nodded, pushing back against me even more. I slid her from on top of the comforter to underneath and wrapped the blanket over her shoulders. Her head started to nuzzle against my hand. She stopped sobbing even though her face was still wet. Her warm body started to relax. Long after that, she was asleep in my arms. As much as I loved holding her, it was almost physically painful for me to resist doing anything beyond holding her through the night. But I loved holding her, and loved the fact that she was asleep again and seemingly having pleasant dreams. It took me a while to fall asleep also, but eventually I drifted off listening to the falling rain... ***** When I woke up, I was still holding Jasmine in my arms. She was still asleep; at least it looked like she was. Instead of facing away, she was facing me with her head against my chest and her legs intertwined in mine. I was still hard. It was pressed up against her thighs. My first reaction was to jump up out of bed, but for once I decided to be a little selfish. I took at least a full five minutes to enjoy being in that position before sliding out of bed. I seriously pondered staying like that for as long as I possibly could get away with it. After all, it might be the last time I ever held her that way. I went downstairs to make breakfast since she was still asleep. My cell phone rang; I had forgotten to turn it off. I grumbled a little as I looked at the phone to see who was calling. It was Rose. I picked it up. "Good morning, Rose. You're lucky I picked up the phone. If anyone else called other than you or Michael, I probably wouldn't have answered." "Hey Tim! Sorry, I know it's kinda early to call. You know my time clock is always messed up with the swing shifts at the hospital anyway. I just couldn't help myself; I wanted to see how things were going with you two lovebirds." Walking to the fridge, I pulled out some eggs and bacon. I held the cell phone between my ear and shoulder as I pulled them out and brought them to the stove. "Well, it's going, strange, as always." I laughed. "Strange, but wonderful. I'll be honest, I'm not sure if her memory will ever come back, but just being with Jazzi is amazing. She needed the time up here to relax if nothing else." Rose tried to comfort me. "You both needed the time up there. I still think you should have taken at least two full weeks, not just five days. You two should do it again next month, especially if it goes well." Ivy Pt 02 (aka Jasmine) I cracked a few eggs in the skillet while shifting the phone to my other ear. "I'd love to actually. It's not that easy trying to be someone that I'm not, though. While it should be relaxing for me also, it's only bringing up old memories of what we once had. I'm just worried we might not get that back." "Give it time; we know there hasn't been much of a memory restoration with her, but sometimes when the memory comes back from amnesia patients, it comes back big time." "I know, you're right, Rose. Thanks for listening to me vent and bitch." Rose laughed. "It's not bitching. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders now, everybody knows it." I grabbed a few glasses from the cabinet above the sink. "Well, you might be right, but I don't have it as rough as she does. Still, you have no idea how difficult this is. One minute Jazz is married to me, and the next thing you know our entire marriage is obliterated from her memory. And I can't even tell her I'm her husband, or that Ivy and Ivan are her children. I mean r..." I trailed off as I caught Jazz out of the corner of my eye, standing in the kitchen doorway. To say the look on her face was pure shock is an understatement. I realized she had heard everything. Her body was stiff, her jaw was wide open, and I saw her eyes darting around the room as if she was trying to comprehend all of the new information I just slipped out. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit... She looked up at me with her big brown eyes as if I had just fucked another woman in front of her. I'll never forget the look on her face, a look that asked me why I had betrayed her. She ran out of the room. I dropped the phone and the two glasses to give chase after her. "Jazz, wait!" I knew it was all so overwhelming for her but she had to give me a chance to explain. She almost ran outside the house until she realized that she was barefoot and in a baby doll, not to mention the ground was muddy from the rains the night before. She stopped by the door and turned around. All I could notice were the tears that saturated her beautiful face. I tried to talk but she interrupted. "No! Don't you dare! Don't you say a word! This whole time, we were married? And you decided to keep it a secret from me? I mean, why wouldn't you just TELL me? Did you want a clean break from me or something?" She held her head as if it were hurting. "Jazz, no! I'd never," "I said SHUT UP!" she snapped. "And my children, you'd really not tell them that they were mine? Were you planning on telling me at any time?" I just stood there, patiently waiting for her to get it all out. "Dammit Tim, answer me!" she shouted. "I..no! I... we, wanted you to figure it out on your own. It..." I was stumbling. "Figure it out on my own?? Oh sure, my precious babies already forgot about me since everyone thought I was dead, but, hey, what's a few more months, or a few more years. Yet you weren't going to tell me? What if my memory recovered after Ivy and Ivan graduate high school? Oh, that would be fine of course, right? My babies would be almost 20 years old but you wanted my memory to return on its own. Forget that I watched them growing up thinking they belonged to some slut that fucked you and dumped them off on you, or worse yet, thinking that their mother was someone you truly loved and ended up dying. I mean, how could you?" She was on a roll, but started sobbing even harder. "How could you keep my babies from me like that? How could you not tell me that we were married? Did our marriage not mean that much to you? Was my accident just a convenient way out? I mean, were we miserable when we were married? I never would have guessed that in a million years." I was sobbing, too. Not for me, but the feelings and emotions that Jasmine was finally releasing. So many times I wondered why I didn't tell her from the beginning about us. "Timothy, I loved you! I mean, I loved you so much. As long as I can remember I wanted you in my life, as more than a father. You're the only one who was ever there for me. The hospital, I don't blame you for never being there because you thought I was dead. But." She lowered her head and went upstairs to her room. "I'm packing and calling a cab. I, I don't know if I can stay with you anymore. We'll talk when I get home." "Jasmine, wait, let me drive you. I can explain everything on the way back home. There is just so much to talk about and I don't even know where to begin, but you have to know how much I love you." She ignored me completely and slammed the door behind her while I was still in mid sentence. ***** I was a mess. I wasn't expecting her to take it that way at all. I called every single one of her doctors and therapists and ripped them a new one, telling them that my wife had just found out the truth and was absolutely livid with me. Rose was the one who finally got me to calm down; she called me back after Jasmine found out what had happened. Rose didn't hear the conversation but could hear Jasmine yelling at me, so she knew something was wrong. Rose asked me on the cell phone, "I'm so, so sorry, where are you now?" "I'm on the highway heading back home. She has about a fifteen minute head start on me. Of course I could easily catch up with the cab but that's the last thing she would want right now." "Well, just try to give her some space. Be there for her but try to be receptive. I'm not trying to sound like a shrink, but this was exactly the reason why we wanted her memory to come back on its own first. Instead, her finding out was like a shock to the system. It sounds like she's processing everything all at once right now. I mean, this entire time, she's taken everything so well considering she'd been raised from the dead. I know it sounds immature, but I think any of us would have acted that way if we were in her shoes." "Thanks Rose. You might be right. I hope you're right. Still, you have no idea how enraged she was. I've never seen that side of her. And the way she looked at me when she found out, it was like I had betrayed her." "Just keep after her, at a distance. I'll see if I can call her. I know, her little sister is being nosey and intrusive, but if I can find a way to be a shoulder for her right now I'll do it in a heartbeat." I tried to smile. "Well, I know where you get your kind heart from. I know Jasmine would do the same thing for you. Again, thank you Rose. You're wise beyond your years, honey." "You're welcome." I hung up the phone. ***** I sat outside in the Mustang for at least an hour. Partly because I wanted to give her time to cool down, but also because I needed that long just to figure out what to say. I left most of the luggage in the car, but I took one bag with me as I got out and walked towards the house. I knocked quietly and slowly opened the door. Jazz was just sitting on the couch with her head between her hands. It looked like she wasn't crying, but still was a mess. She was beautiful, but her hair was messed up and her makeup was smeared. Quietly moving forward, I didn't want to spook her. I felt like I was a hunter that was approaching a doe with soft footsteps. I sat down on the couch next to her and set the bag on the floor. At first she didn't move and didn't say a word. Just as I was going to speak, I saw her shoulders moving up and down as if she was weeping silently. She didn't even look at me, but she turned to me and practically leapt in my lap. She buried her head against my chest and squeezed me so hard I thought she was going to break my ribs. I nuzzled my cheek against the top of her head and held her tightly against me. I tried to relax her as much as I could, trying to get her to calm down. "Jazz, I am so sorry for the deception, you have to believe me. It wasn't even my idea and I didn't want to do it. I love you and would never ever hurt you." She didn't say anything, so I kept talking. Hopefully, she was listening to what I was trying to say. "I wish there was something I could say to take all the pain away. The entire way from the cabin to here, I've been practicing in my head what I would say to you to explain everything, but, I'm still not sure what to say. I don't have any excuses, but everything I did was what I thought would be best for not just you, but also Ivy and Ivan. And even myself." She stirred a little. "Were we happy?" I smiled, stroking her hair. "Yes. We were tremendously happy. I couldn't have asked for the more perfect life. Before the accident, those were the happiest times of my life. You saved me from a life of misery, Jasmine. And on top of that, you gave me two wonderful children that made life even that much better." It was hard to tell from the angle I was at, but it looked like she was smiling. She sniffed and wiped away some of her tears. "You can ask me anything, Jasmine. I will be honest. No more hiding things." "I still don't understand why you didn't tell me right off the bat," she softly said. "The doctors were hoping your memory would return normally; if it did, then you'd be able to remember on your own that we were married and had a family. The more you were exposed to your old married life, the more likely it would have been that your memory would return. That's one reason why everyone told you that you should move in with me." "Is that the only reason?" She asked innocently. I smiled. "No, of course it's not the only reason. I had my own selfish motives." I said more sternly, "It didn't help that you'd wear all those skimpy little outfits and tight little panties, since I couldn't do a thing about it!" I slapped her butt. She giggled. I sighed a breath of relief. "Do you know how long it's been since I've done that?" I started rubbing her cute little ass. "And not have to worry about feeling guilty since you didn't exactly view me as husband material?" I nuzzled her even more and kissed her cheek. "You can expect more spankings just like that, now that the secret is out of the bag." She smiled and even moaned a little. "Promise?" "Of course I promise. Oh, and speaking of bag, I got you something. It was supposed to be a gift for up in the cabin, but now is as good as any time." I leaned down and grabbed the bag off of the floor. Reaching inside, I pulled out a present I had wrapped. She smiled. "Aww, thank you! What is it?" "I guess you'll have to open it to find out." She tore up the paper and opened the box. Inside she pulled out a stuffed animal, a mustang horse. She looked at me strangely and laughed. "Well, I figured since you thought you were ready for the mustang, I'd get you your very own! Plus, this one doesn't have to stay in the garage." She laughed and hit me on the chest. "You're a brat. But a sweet brat. Thank you. Don't think this will suffice for my need for speed, though." I laughed. "You're never driving by yourself again, you know that, right?" She glared at me. She wiped away the last few tears on her face. "You know..." her face started to turn red. "What, honey?" "You know, you were always a great loving father figure, but it's been a long time since I've viewed you as a dad, probably not since my early teenage years, to be honest." I was a bit shocked... not completely, but I didn't think it went back that far. She continued, "I guess I wasn't sure what to think, but my little crush on you turned into something more full blown." She smiled. "Ok, I'm not trying to get too sappy, but, I guess since we are opening up with each other. I just wanted you to know." She raised her head up and kissed me. The kind of kiss that was passionate and full of love. I instantly became hard -- I had been waiting to kiss her like this for I can't remember how long. It had been years. "You know what scared me the most?" I asked her. "What, baby?" "When you said, right before you left the, that you were thinking of moving out, I couldn't take a single day without you. Not again. Besides, Ivy and Ivan need you. They need us." She kissed me on the lips again. "I'm sorry I kind of lost it back there. I know I'm still working things out, and the last thing I wanted to do was take it out on you." She sat on my lap, straddling me. Holding my face with both hands, she looked deep into my eyes. "Thank you, Tim. Thank you SO much for never leaving me and never giving up on me. I'm yours until death do us part, and hopefully even after that." Finally, for the first time since I had her back, it felt right holding her. I didn't have to hold anything back. "I'll never leave you, baby. Hey, we still have a honeymoon to finish up at the cabin. Do you want to go back up there?" She smiled deviously. Sliding down my body and undoing my zipper, she said, "I do, but we have to take care of something first. Something we are both way overdue on..." ***** Epilogue It took almost a full year before I'd let her sit behind the wheel and drive. It would have been longer but she finally had enough with me and laid down the law. After a short but intense argument, I caved in. Even then, I didn't let her drive the Mustang without myself riding shotgun for another full year. I tried to come across as not wanting her to drive my car without my supervision, but the fact is I was terrified to let her drive by herself. I think she knew this and decided to humor me. That was how much she loved me, I guess. After everything we had been through, all of our arguments seemed to be a bit on the trivial side considering Jasmine had been raised from the dead as if Jesus himself came down and brought her back to life the way he did with Lazarus. Nothing could keep us apart. I would never admit this to her, but Jasmine had me wrapped around her finger. Four years after Ivy and Ivan were born, we had an amazing miracle. The doctor had told us that Jazz would never be pregnant again, but before we know it a little baby girl had entered our lives. We named her Shelby. It was Jasmine's idea, actually, not mine. Although I wish I had thought of it first. The funny thing is, her memory never did return. It was probably a good thing that she overheard me and Rose talking on the phone when she did. Who knows how much longer we would have waited until we told her the truth. Sometimes I still have a hard time thinking about that. Several years of her life were wiped away clean. The birth of Ivy and Ivan, our first kiss, our first marriage... everything was gone. I say first marriage because we did renew our vows shortly after she found out that we were actually husband and wife. We treated the ceremony as if it really was our first time getting married together, which for her it was. I once told her privately that I considered myself extremely lucky because I was the only guy in the world that had two first kisses with her, two first marriages with her, and even two first times to consummate our relationship with each other. I've been through a lot and had more downs than ups. There were times I didn't think I'd make it through. There were times I didn't think I'd ever be married again. But Jasmine changed everything. She was my life and my future, and as long as she's with me I'll never look back.