58 comments/ 25041 views/ 15 favorites Intimate Blackout By: next2ArchStanton AUTHORS NOTE: Hi there, Arch here. Okay, so I'm a sucker for punishment. I'll try again! Hi to the readers of Loving Wives, hope you're all having a nice day. This story is conventional. Loving wife adores husband, husband loves wife unconditionally but the marriage has issues. There's lots of romance and heart ache here and I warn you ladies this one might need that box of tissues stationed nearby. Mistakes are made, restitution fulfilled and karma is eventually restored. If you like your stories ending happily, read on. As you may find, if I keep submitting to the site, nearly all of my tales have a 'happy ever after' and deal in loving, but sometimes unconventional, relationships. So be warned. This is one such story. To the gate keepers... P.S. Once again I apologize for the editing. I have only myself to blame. ***** INTRODUCTION. JILLIAN. His eyes were vacant, dilated and lifeless. Tubes sucked regularly whilst distressingly hollow sounds hissed intermittently. Sobbing uncontrollably my mind shifted back, re-rolling the vivid images of the last eight hours. Oh my god, what had I done! Bloody Carl! He's been my husband's best friend since junior school. Why did I do it? Okay, yes he is 6'5", a muscled blonde Swedish Adonis, but I loved my husband! Carl is basic; pure male but little brain. His ability to please a girl in bed is legendary and impossible to resist. At least that's the excuse I currently cling too. My husband is a brilliant man, beautiful and caring. He worships the ground upon which I tread; he bottles the air I breathe and yet I considered him inconsequential. He just looks like your average Joe, only his name's Jack... average Jack. Jack pales in relation to Carl, at least in appearance. But my Jack, despite his medium height and plain looks is a very smart and extremely wealthy man. His personal fortune extends to the far reaches of the globe. Okay, so he inherited the bulk of his fortune, but some Wall Street analysts would confirm that he'd almost doubled that fortune in the five short years since gaining that inheritance at age 21. Now I will admit (somewhat shamefully) that I'm (was) a gold digger. I have been blessed with female proportions akin to most heterosexual men's perceived perfections and, whether that 'definition' extends to long flowing red hair and deep emerald green eyes, then that's a matter for debate, but that's what god and my Irish hereditary has gifted me. For a girl I'm relatively tall at 5'9" and in four inch heels I look down on 6 foot tall men! Some people will compare me to a young Nicole Kidman... like when she was in that race car movie with him... So (again I shamefully admit) I spent my late teens stalking wealthy men. I'd purposely hang out at frequented clubs or events, dressed to the nines in a ridiculously short dress or some shimmery top that would flaunt my 36c's and attract the eye of my weakened unsuspecting prey. Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly stupid. I did complete a bachelor in Journalism, but that was more about vanity than any real reason to pursue that vocation. The title held prestige, and it offered access to celebrity functions and places of 'interest'. Not that I was ever employed, but a fake press card and 'real' references, a killer mini skirt and... well, you get the picture. Now I do of course read the gossip rags, skim BRW or Forbes because I'm always on the prowl, searching for that one 'special' man who might notice me, fall for me... the tall somewhat skinny silky redhead in the little sequined green dress, the inappropriate side slit and silly towering ankle turning heels. Three years ago I noticed a rather plain, but equally cute guy sitting alone at the bar in the Wentworth. This place was the venue for the AGM convention of investors in Millennium Corp, a worldwide property development conglomerate that owned some of the most expensive real estate in the world. I'd picked up on this skimming through Forbes. Now given my investigative skills, I also recognized the plain 'nobody' twirling his scotch as Jack Stevens, CEO of USED inc. (United Sates External Developments). This of course being only one of his six companies but the one dealing with the shares in MC. The day I walked into that bar I was celebrating my twenty first birthday and to tell you I was feeling confident cocky and lucky might understate the fact. It was my birthday and I was in the groove. I clicked quickly on marble flooring in pursuit of my quarry when suddenly a big guy walked lazily into my path, blocking out the sunlight streaming through the massive windows overlooking Central Park. "Excuse me ma'am. Is there something I can help you with today?" He sounded like a bear, a big black bear with a gruff voice. Who's been eating my porridge? I attempted to side step, but he was quick for a big man. "I'm trying to rendezvous with my boyfriend Jack, if you'd just allow me to pass Sir." I tried on the bravado. His smile displayed both humour and disbelief. "If you please ma'am, I have strict instructions to eject anyone not associated with the convention. Your pass please?" He didn't even bother extending his hand in anticipation... cheeky bastard! "Jack, honey! This man doesn't believe who I am!" I called out in desperation, thinking you only get one chance. The big guy looked surprised and turned to check out my quarry, appearing perplexed with my apparent familiarity. Jack Stevens, for his part glanced up from his reverie, somewhat surprised at hearing his name. I took opportunity to side step the gorilla and darted toward my astonished victim with arms extended crying, "Jack, tell him who I am honey!" Yeah... yeah, ballsy... brazen... hey bite me! I could hear the big guy launch after me. Jack Stevens barely had time to stand before I was wrapping my arms about him and hissing in his ear. "Oh honey, that man's so awful!" "I'm sorry Sir... she's very quick and..." "It's okay Bobby, she's with me." Jack Steven's eyes twinkled. "Are you alright my Princess?" I may have smiled... **** That smile was a distant memory. My Jack was broken now. That first day spent at his side, holding his lifeless hand would be the first of many. I had much time to reflect on my actions, swim in my guilt and curse myself for my undeniable stupidity. The consequences of my actions would ripple through the coming ages and alter destiny. What has been done cannot be undone. Hurt may heal but scars will linger. I held the limp cold hand to my cheek and wept deeply for my loving husband. **** CHAPTER ONE. JACK STEVENS. Five years eight months and twenty two days later... May 6th 2003. Light... a seemingly eerie and strange sensation suddenly engulfed me. A sense of deja vu swam through my fused mind, like I'd seen this before. Darkness transformed, like a dawning day encroaching on the blackest of nights. I remembered sleep in that moment and what that sensation once was and what it felt like. Sleep, the closing of my day, the succumbing to soft nothingness and the occasional dream. But this dream seemed never ending. As that weird semblance of light pushed against my horizon, memory filtered back. In that brief reflection of past I pictured my princess. She was in my arms, hugging me close and seeking my protection. The concierge appeared perplexed as I hugged her near and nodded in affirmation that she was mine, and that it was all good... and it was indeed good. I'd been sitting at the bar wallowing in my own inadequacies. Despite my wealth and good fortune approaching a woman, for me, was akin to Apollo thirteen's moon mission. I would circle my perceived rendezvous precariously with systems flawed, never quite displaying my potential... to love a woman, or to care for a woman. Internally I was a broken thing and orbiting was the best I'd ever achieve, descending into the dark side at every failed attempt. Communication escaped me and worst of all, my apparatus was broken... destroying all possible confidence in achieving my goal. I'd had the unfortunate luck in contracting testicular cancer mid-teens. The resultant surgery had left me 'half' able to ever produce an heir but, when later tests proved that to be impossible, having scored a zero count, I retreated into my comfortable shell of inadequacy, believing I was less than a man. Approaching girls was out of the question and every time I had the immense fortune of being in the presence of one, I'd withdraw into my shell once more thinking I could never allow a woman the misfortune of knowing me, let alone loving me. Then my princess threw herself into my arms that fateful day and it all changed. "Are you okay, did that big man scare you?" Yeah, it was the booze talking, but her perfume and womanly smell overpowered me. God she smelt so feminine! The lunar module had separated, and began descending... She pulled back and blinked. Auburn lashes the color of autumn flashed sparkling emeralds; their depth oceanic. "Nah, he's a big teddy bear." She glanced over her shoulder at the retreating giant. "Thanks for not giving me away. Can I buy you a drink?" She grinned and her face would pale a sunrise. I laughed. "That's supposed to be my line." I motioned the bar tender, inviting the stunning beauty to order. "I'll have a 'blurred orgasm' thank you." She smirked her wink. What the...!! "So, Princess..." I inquired inquisitively. "There are lots of other wealthy guys here, and some are pretty good looking too. A girl like you could attract anyone." I picked up the JD, more as an attempt to hide my nervousness than the desire to drink it. "Why pick me?" "Okay, so you've got me pegged have you mister? You think I'm some wanton slut out to pick up a wealthy man, and perhaps burrow into their pockets?" She looked disappointed, and that surprised me. God she was intoxicatingly beautiful. "I'll admit I'd like the company of a man, but if you think I'm seeking more than just intelligent and pleasant conversation then you've entirely misjudged me." That statement was delivered with feeling and what I could only determine as sincerity. Those amazing eyes examined mine. "Yes. I'll admit I'd like to meet a wealthy man, and live happily ever after. What girl doesn't ever dream of that? I'm just a poor simple girl after all. But, any man I intend to spend my life with would need to be clever, interesting, caring and faithful. Being wealthy would, undeniably, be the icing on the cake, but all those other attributes take precedence." She paused to breathe. I was frozen... spellbound. "So, Mr Jack Stevens, if you do not fit any of these requirements, and are not seeking intelligent conversation then tell me now, and lets not waist anymore of each other's time." She crossed her arms beneath those magnificent breasts and sighed! God I loved a take charge woman! This one made me dizzy. Her purple foggy vodka mix arrived, complete with a stupid umbrella and a forlorn strawberry floating on a creamy froth topping. "Well, that having been stated, perhaps I should introduce myself. I'm Jack Stevens, but I guess you know that Miss..." I paused giving her opportunity. She was smiling from behind that bloody umbrella. "It's good to meet you Mr Stevens, I'm Jillian Tomlinson, but everyone calls me Jill." She placed the drink and extended her hand, fluttering those lids knowing we'd already hugged, but offering the hand anyway. I clasped her offering and stupidly turned it over and kissed the back of her wrist. "You're Jack and I'm Jill." She giggled and that was it. I was hooked, landed and definitely about to be gutted. The memory of my girl laughing and flicking that gorgeous hair back behind her ears as we conversed for hours is still chiseled into my memory banks, but strangely little else is. That memory, of our first meeting and that glorious night chatting on the mezzanine is still fresh and seems to have become 'fresher', like my brain had clung to it, revisiting that night over and over again as if that memory was the key to this blackness. But the dark has dissipated. There is a light. I hear a sound and it is a sound I barely recognized; the sound of a human voice. Like some foreign language it permeated my foggy consciousness. The sound kept up its rhythmic repetition and recognition finally dawned. "Jack, Jack... can you hear me Jack? Jack, Jack... can you hear me Jack?" It made sense. I was Jack and someone was calling me. Then the face of what I initially misunderstood to be angelic materialized, my preconception of a 'fluffy white angel' morphed into a focused vision of shiny black perfection. This angle eclipsed the story picture books. Why were angels depicted as white Caucasian blondes? My recognition of the one shaking me and calling out to me right now, was beautifully black and her smiling face was framed with long crinkled black flowing frizz. "Oh my god... you're awake!! I'll call the doctor." The dark angel disappeared. I recognized the sounds as words, but I struggled to understand meaning. The light was unbearable, and my awareness hurt. The darkness swept over me again but I could still hear sounds. Another voice sounded firm and instructional whilst the angel's voice bordered hysteria. Weird sensations seemed to prod and poke at the extremities of my world as the deeper voice demanded compliance. Thinking back on that period of disembodiment I now realize I was experiencing the pain and confusion of waking from a deep and numbing sleep. Sensations slowly returned, conscious memory and understanding seeped back into my mind like slow moving all enveloping treacle. My brain was sparking once more as life returned. My angels name was Kathy. She was a dark skinned beauty dressed in white, the uniform of St Augustine's Memorial. Her beautiful teeth blinded me but her smile radiated warmth. Big brown eyes examined me curiously. Kathy fussed and mothered about excitedly, explaining that I'd been asleep for nearly six years! That news was almost incomprehensible. Kathy explained that I'd fallen down the stairs in my home and hit my head, or more my neck and damaging the Reticular Activating System. Evidently the RAS is responsible for consciousness, and reawakening the body from sleep. Mine was damaged, along with further damage to my spinal column. The doctor has since told me my lower body is permanently paralyzed. Hips down; kaput! Anyway it took three months to regain any semblance of proper functionality. It took the best part of a week and almost constant tears to come to grips with the reality of having missed nearly six years of my life, or at least six years of everyone else's! Three days after that initial return to a world that had left me in its wake a similar angelic presence seemed to be examining me, only this one was porcelain skinned and appeared to have an aurora of brilliant red hair shimmering about and framing her flawless face. Shiny red lips whispered things I had no comprehension of, and deep green 'cat' eyes looked in on me somewhat curiously. It took time but that image became my wife and when recognition finally dawned, I cried and attempted to hug her to me, in desperate need to feel her touch and to breathe in her essence. Some memories eventually returned and I recalled her smiling face and those sparkling eyes shining from beneath the lacy veil signalling her pleasure and utter happiness. Our wedding day had been the happiest time of my life without question. Thinking back I've realized that our union worked well, like we were two jigsaw pieces inadvertently discovered and found to fit together. Jill will freely admit that she was seeking out ('hunting' might be a more accurate description) a rich husband, someone above her station as they say. Her own family was poor, barely middle class and broken. Her parents had split when she was five and she hadn't seen her father for over ten years. I on the other hand had also scored above my weight grade. I knew I was 'plain' and certainly this spectacular creature could have chosen any man on the planet, but, as she continually reinforced, she wanted a loving caring faithful man and of course he had to be rich! She wasn't one bit embarrassed about admitting that fact and I respected her for being so upfront. Jill was an intelligent woman, so conversation and mutual interest were paramount. We spent almost a year going out together, six months of which we were engaged. Yes, we just clicked. Before I proposed I embarrassingly admitted my problem with regard to the dysfunctional plumbing. Don't get me wrong, I can satisfy my wife in the bedroom but having kids of our own would likely never happen. Jill just shrugged that off, claiming she wasn't really into kids anyway. But I could tell she was disappointed. We married privately and we've spent three wonderful years together. I worshiped my wife and the way her eyes lit up every time she saw me reaffirmed that she loved me too. Although my work commitments stole precious hours away from her, we still spent quality time together and Jill busied herself in our new home, a modern six bedroom gated villa on the north shore. She'd organised the landscapers and workers who transformed the grounds to her design and installed a magnificent horizon pool. Jill was a natural when it came to decorating and transforming the mansion and within a year of purchase the place was a show stopper. I continually praised her ability and my beautiful princess glowed with pride and satisfaction. She had nested and now appeared content. Two months spent waking up and readjusting meant we'd talked a lot, reliving the fun times including our first meeting; the fine details of that night still imprinted like a carved stone tablet onto my sketchy memory. The last conversation we'd had, there in my hospital room, was equally chiseled in stone. Jill stood demurely alongside my best friend Carl and both of the people closest to me appeared flighty and fidgety. I feared what was to come. My best friend Carl and I were polar opposites. We were schoolboy buddies and friends thereafter. Carl befriended me when I offered him 'protection' money, to 'ward off' the bullies who seemed to delight in finding someone weaker than they were, a spoiled little rich kid who dressed impeccably and was dropped off at school by a chauffeur driven limo. Carl was the son of Swedish immigrants and his father had built up a profitable construction company the profits of which enabled sending their child to an expensive private school. Carl actually refrained from accepting my protection money once we'd entered college, insisting I help him with his class work instead. Problem was the guy was so fixed on his football that he never attended class anyway, so helping him became a non-requirement. He dropped out and went off to work for his father, eventually getting the boot for laziness, stupidly thinking and believing that his father would give him a free ride. His Dad had worked long and hard for everything he had and expected nothing less from his son. Carl had started up his own business as a building contractor but struggled due to work commitment and focus. I'd introduced him to Jill prior to our marriage and invited him to be best man, which he'd happily accepted. My wife had employed him many times when constructing the gazebo, the changing rooms out by the pool and a very elaborate El-Fresco and BBQ area. I admit he'd done a great job and Jill seemed very pleased with the result. I had seen him a few times sitting quietly beside my hospital bed, seemingly examining every piece of plastic piping, the blinking monitors and myriad snaking equipment; everything... other than me, or at least my eyes. So this day Jill was dressed in a blouse and jeans and her long toned legs appeared to be painted in blue denim. Her body was tight and perfect, like she'd undertaken a rigid exercise regime for the past five years. Her breathing however seemed strained, a little tense and tad raspy. But what had me painfully swallowing huge lumps of tainted air was the sighted knowledge that they held hands, their fingers entwined. Intimate Blackout Oh god... "Jack, honey we have something to tell you." I noticed her knuckles whiten as she gripped the big man's hand tighter. "The doctors said you would never recover. I was so lonely and depressed and... well Carl was around to comfort me..." A tear rolled lazily down one cheek and Jill swiped at it in frustration. "We've been together now for well over five years and..." More hand gripping ensued. I could only nod stupidly. What could I say and how does one respond to the confession that the wife you worship, the girl you adore has spent five years with your best friend. She continued quietly. "We've fallen in love and..." More tears tracked lazy haphazard trails down those lovely cheeks. I felt faint... Carl coughed as if tagged. "Jack, I regard you as my best friend, but as Jilly said, we thought you were a goner man." He paused, enabling me to digest the "Jilly" endearment. "We have two daughters Jack; two gorgeous little girls." My world started to darken. "Jess is four and Jade is nearly two. They'd really like to meet you, but first... we wanted you to understand the situation." I was numb, desperately beating back the thick black curtain drawing out the light. "Jack, we thought you would never recover and I'm so sorry, but I... we had to move on." Jill sounded utterly remorseful. But Carl had sounded so smug. Jilly?? Really! I mean I had no choice with regard to moving on. I'd been in hospital, imitating a vegetable for nearly six years whilst those dearest to me had 'moved on'! I did the math. She'd waited about six months before conceiving. How long had it been before she'd found comfort in Carl's bed? I leaned over, grabbed my water jug and threw up. At least my guts worked! And all Carl had to say was 'Oh shit, that's just gross man!' **** CHAPTER TWO. JILLIAN. I wept. He appeared lifeless... only the monitors suggested otherwise. A cold looking machine pumped air down my man's throat whilst wires and probes delivered signals to other equally distant machines that beeped and clicked continuously. My hand rested on his, but he felt cold and lifeless. The doctors had purposely lowered Jack's core body temperature in a desperate attempt to combat his injuries which were remarkably unpronounced. Some swelling and bruising appeared on the back of his neck and a few minor abrasions, but that's it... and yet my poor husband lies here before me unresponsive and devoid of life. The Doctors tell me he may never recover. Some injury affecting his ability to wake up has occurred to his neck and spinal column. The coma could last for days, weeks, months or even, in a worst case scenario... indefinitely. He might just evolve into a vegetative state forever dependent on others to care for him. This great mind, this caring and gentle man, reduced to nothing more than a lump of barely functioning human flesh. I sobbed almost hysterically. What had I done! Not more than a few weeks after I'd first met Jack he introduced me to his best friend Carl. The huge blonde Viking took my breath away and caused me to spark... down there, where it's inappropriate to spark when appraising another man. This guy was Thor blended with Hercules. Never had I witnessed two friends so magnetically polar opposite. "Jill, this is my friend Carl Klum, Carl this is my girlfriend Jillian Tomlinson." Jack smiled at my gobsmacked surprise. My eyes darted between the two men. "Um, it's good to meet you Carl." I extended my hand but Carl wrapped me in a hug and the giant half crushed me, kissing my cheek as I gasped for breath. "Hello beautiful. Wow, how the hell did my man find you?" He chuckled in appraising me and turned to Jack. I was still catching my breath. "Fuck man, did you attend the Miss World contest and abduct a contestant?" Another deep chuckle coincided with my crimson glow. Carl turned back and shamelessly reappraised me. The LBD was a touch under modest and I knew I was popping out over the neckline a bit. Perhaps the hem could have been lower giving consideration to circumstance. Suddenly I felt exposed, and yet I never felt exposed in front of Jack. This was new! The other problem was that even in my heels I was still a half head shorter than the blonde body builder which kind of reduced my normal ascendancy over men. I felt small and a little insignificant. He shamelessly continued his perusal of my body. "My god you're hot! So how the hell DID my man score you darling?" "Oh for god's sake Carl, go easy. You've just met her!" Jack sounded exasperated. I cringed in against my boyfriend. Jack had always made me feel 'comfortable'. With him, I was the eye candy and Jack seemed to love that. He enjoyed looping his arm in mine whist proudly and silently showing me off; as if he was announcing publicly... 'Hey guys, see... this one's all mine!' But in that moment of introduction to Carl, I felt insignificant, exposed and vulnerable. "Do you use that line on all the girls?" I tried for a touch of bravado. "No baby, no chick I've ever been with looks like you." His eyes swept me again, taking me in. I felt naked. "Jack's always been a lucky guy and I think I hate him right now. I'm certainly jealous." He laughed, brazenly hooked my arm and announced it was time to 'go eat'. That's how Carl is; he's brash, confident and totally lacking in decorum. His dominant aggressiveness speaks to my libido. During that first dinner date Jack barely got a word in because Carl and I just talked constant shit; spewing continuous innuendo that bordered above flirting but just short of intercourse. I loved discussing the arts, politics and world events with Jack, but the ninety minutes of brainless bullshit bantering with Carl was refreshing and exciting. I apologized to Jack later but he just dismissed it and said he'd enjoyed my back and forth with Carl as much as I had. He confirmed that Carl was a no 'holes bared' taker and an arrogant SOB, but that he'd laughed many times as I shot back as much shit as he'd given out. "You really put him in his place a few times Jill. He'll never take you for granted again. I loved watching you in action." He grinned and caressed my thigh as he drove. I tingled all over, and I have no idea which man had caused that reaction! Having my boyfriend sit demurely whilst I crossed flirty swords with his best friend, a guy who in another life could have been Zeus... was amazingly intoxicating. Having Zeus eye me like the goddess Dianna was even more so thrilling! Talking utter crap was enlightening. The result being... I was as horny as hell and I needed it real bad! And so it was... That night I finally took Jack to bed and yes I did the taking because my man lacked the confidence to lead. It was soon very apparent that he lacked experience, not that I'd opened up for a plethora of boys in college, but I'd dipped my toe in the water, so to speak! Okay, maybe I went for a swim, but I'm no slut. I had a feeling Jack may have been virginal, but I didn't press the issue. He was useless first go round, but regained composure quickly and eventually satisfied my fire, albeit barely because I was still smoldering afterward. It was of course that night that I discovered the reason for Jack's apprehension. The missing testicle and scar told me a story that he needn't have shared, but of course he did. But it wasn't until the week before he eventually proposed that he nervously stated his inability to father a child. I had of course wondered about this, but had elected to wait for him to disclose. I feared the reality, knowing how much I wanted one day to be a mother. I tried to appear nonplussed, but I winced internally. I loved this man, and there were other ways to become a mother and have a family. I hugged him tight and reassured him that it was not an issue. Unsurprisingly he proposed the following Friday. I cried and screamed yes, opened the little Cartier box, jammed the rock on my finger and attacked him! I was to become Mrs Jack Stevens!! Carl was invited to be best man and that had me feeling fluttery and uneasy. By now our acquaintance was easy going but bordered inappropriate, especially when Jack wasn't around. One night we were to meet at a club with Carl and his new girlfriend. I was amazingly jealous on learning that Carl had hooked up with a girl on a permanent basis, because the entire time I'd known him he'd been 'single', although it was no secret that he likely bedded a different woman every night! He was always mentioning some girl, and briefly announcing some attribute she possessed, or equally, some flawed defect. He was a running commentary on women which I found fascinating... shallow but fascinating. This can only be explained by how intelligent women are sucked into the drivel of the gossip rags. I think that all women are cursed with a desire to compare and pry, to check out the competition and to scoff at their weaknesses. Anyway Carl showed up alone, claiming he'd been stood up. So I got shared around and I danced with both men, although mainly with Carl. Jack just shrugged suggesting that Carl was the better dancer (which was true) and fitter (also true). Of course Carl flirted and held me way too close, his big hands roaming my bared back and silk sequined covered bum cheeks. The dress was tight, short and backless with built in support so I was bra-less. I'm sure Jack watched us, although every time we moved toward the back of the dance floor and were shielded from view Carl's hands wandered further. Curiously I did very little to resist. My body was alive and tingling! "Carl, Jack is probably watching!" That comment weakly imitated a scowl and was followed by a hand that moved firmly over my ass, cupping it tight. My chastisement had just spurred him on and I may have gasped. The large hand continued lower down to feather my thigh over the hem of the tiny red mini skirt. He pulled me in closer whispering into my ear; his breath felt intoxicating... his maleness smelt nauseatingly heady. "You love it baby, and so does our Jacky boy." I made no attempt to wriggle free, which I guess confirmed his observation. He was right, I loved showing off in front of Jack and being naughty and flirty fired my boiler to bursting. Oh god... I tried to recover. "You're so full of yourself big boy. What do you really know about me?" I tried not to sound to squeaky. "I know you'll like this!" He chuckled and shoved his groin into my mound. I knew of course that Carl was well endowed, I'd checked out the crotch of his tight pants on a few occasions but what I felt pressed up against me in that moment actually scared the shit out of me! I faked fearlessness. "You're full of it big boy. Anyone can pick up a javelin; it's in knowing how to use it that counts!" I tried to smirk, but I know I blushed. God, what was I saying! "Hmm... is that a challenge darlin?" He chuckled and I shivered. I knew in that moment that it was only to be a matter of time before I would give myself to this big smug blonde grinning self-confident hunk of shallow self-indulgent masculinity. I felt like a jelly... wobbly and primed for devouring. Jack never said anything about his friend's actions when we returned home and his response in the bedroom after my little 'performance' that night spoke volumes. He was on fire and it was likely the best sex we had ever had, and as it turned out, would ever have again. Carl had my phone number and my e-mail address. His flirty texts and innuendo were incessant. I was careful to delete everything sent and returned in response but I'd taken the bait and it was only a matter of time before I'd be reeled in. The call to Jack, three weeks out from our marriage day, explaining that I would not be home when he got in from work, because I was meeting up with an old college girlfriend for dinner was of course a complete and deceitful fabrication. I knew exactly what I was doing and exactly what would transpire. Carl had worn me down. I had to have him just this once, before I married my soul mate and settled down into a life of boring contentment and stability. Contented because that's what I wanted, wasn't it? Stability, money, a loving relationship and a husband that worshiped me and would never abandon me. So what the hell was I doing? This question hammered my brain over and over as I entered the Hotel, pressed the lift button and ascended to room 335, the suite reserved by my fiances best friend, the man who would shortly be having mad wild sex with me. I shuddered with a mix anticipation, dread and inequitable guilt. Now I use the term 'having sex', because that's how I justified my wantonness. I loved Jack, and I made love to him. It was way more than just 'sex'. This hook-up with Carl was nothing more than 'scratching an itch'. I'd end it tonight, and move on, having sampled the forbidden apple. I knocked on the door perhaps softer than I'd intended. My breathing had stalled and I felt light headed and in response my body tingled with knee weakening arousal. I heard heavy footsteps and the lock clicked. I dragged in a shuddery breath, narrowly preventing fainting. "Hi sexy girl, are you ready to pick up that javelin?" He smirked and his teeth did that sparkle thing like in the movies. I stood in place wobbling on legs refusing to cooperate with my stern inner demands to run! A big hand hauled me in and lips captured my pathetic squeak. A tongue delved deep and I grabbed on tightly and gave myself over. I was weak, worse... I was lost. God his woody scent was intoxicating, his big arms felt powerful and all encompassing. He sucked free and pulled my coat from my shoulders, examining me like a wolf might a piglet. Hungry eyes devoured my form, my blouse and simple pencil skirt. I was dressed respectably like any office secretary in an upscale law firm. A little grey, a little over made up and a lot 'sexy'. The skirt was well above the knees, but smart. The stay-up stockings were sheer, but grey and seamed whilst the heels were shiny black and red soled. A textured black blouse gave transparent hazy vision to a Victoria's Secret bra which was a little frilly and maybe gave more uplift than what was entirely appropriate for the office. A mauve carafe tied about my neck gave a much needed color to the tidy ensemble. "Hmmm, a sexy little office secretary! Just what the boss ordered." Mr 'Wolf' growled. "Now, get that delectable derriere over onto that bed, kneel up and present." I was like some robot responding simply and obediently to voice commands. My lover began exploring my body by un-wrapping me slowly, tugging and pushing the skirt up over my hips and pulling down my panties to inspect the 'merchandise'. He shoved my legs apart and I squirmed and panted as his fingers explored and probed my secrets. I raised my head and wailed my pleasure before sinking to my elbows as Carl chuckled, obviously delighted with my quick response. Hell, I'd been burning in anticipation all day! He instructed me to turn around so I shuffled about clumsily, restricted by the stretched material clinging to my knees. I delved frantically for my prize, reaching out and enveloping it with long fingers. I wasn't disappointed. I glanced up as if seeking permission. I have no idea why I did that, but it somehow seemed fitting. He just smiled and nodded. I required no further instruction. I watched his eyes as I administered my application. He just nodded some more and whispered soft words of encouragement. God he was big, and it smelt wonderful... but the aroma was off... forbidden and wrong. I focused on his eyes as I worshiped him for an eternity, and eventually I caught the glazed look and knew he was close. A finger appeared in my vision, and it beckoned me to twirl about. I released him with a wet kiss, and shuffled back around, arching my back and inviting entry. My lover teased me briefly and laughed at my desperation as I frantically pushed backward seeking fulfillment. A sharp slap reverberated around the room, bouncing of the walls. It took an obscure moment of time to realize my bare bum was stinging but in that instant of recognition he penetrated me... harshly. I cried out and immediately orgasmed. That orgasm transported me out of my body! Once free of its imprisonment some alien force hammered my discarded body senseless with a mallet. I arched back shaking and simmering as the relentless hammering continued. I heard laughter and big hands held me steady and a powerful steam engine drove a pile driver so deep I screamed. His cry joined mine, moments before reality lost all meaning. **** When I finally struggled in the door that night I almost collapsed. I couldn't even remember driving home; my brain was on auto self-drive. Jack was sitting in his favorite chair twirling a scotch in hand. "Hi baby, and how did your girl's night out go?" He looked tired. "Fine thanks honey." I tried to straighten up and appear less 'duck' like. "Just need to dash for the loo, won't be a tick..." Of course I'd never experienced sex like that... not even close. I felt so horribly guilty but... I will admit that I'm a mere mortal and like other mere mortals I have my weaknesses, my dependencies and needs. Like an alcoholic or a drug addict, an adrenaline junkie or a workaholic, I have needs. I was now addicted to hard mind blowing sex. In my defense my body was made for it, and my very 'being' craved it... and one 'big' man had now awoken it. I was hooked and I knew that from that night going forward there would be no return. I'm not a bitch, or at least I hope not be judged as one. I loved my future husband more than life, but there was one thing that he could never supply me and for that 'need' I would always find myself seeking out a dominant aggressive lover capable of delivering the fuel required to blow my world asunder. Why I couldn't resist this urge, this desire to satisfy my burning need I cannot explain, nor indeed can I justify my failing. Why does any addict continue down the path of self-destruction? What I did know was, that if I was caught cheating, Jack would cast me adrift. So why did I meet up with Carl three more time before my wedding and why in god's name, did I spike my new husbands drink on our wedding night and relegate him to the floor while my lover consummated my marriage? My cries that night were animalistic. Looking down at the peaceful sleeping form of my husband as his best friend savagely used me over and over again will haunt me forever... and yet rate uncontested as the best sex of my life. He took me three time before even bothering to remove my wedding dress! Oh god forgive me. **** So guilt consumes me as I examine the lifelessness before me. It was entirely my fault. I'd set the wheels of catastrophe in motion and fate had now fulfilled it. **** CHAPTER 3. CARL. The first time I laid eyes on her I was smitten. How the hell did wimpy Jack land her? Fuck man! She was dead set hot! Tall, lean like a gazelle and built like a porn star, only gorgeous. She was obviously after his money; there could be no other reason! Her micro mini barely covered her ass, and those tits! Jack introduced her and I may have sounded crass, but... well my god! She glanced up at Jack seeking some sort of comfort and I noticed her amazing eyes. Those brilliant emeralds sought his protection. I saw something else in there as well. There was a playfulness and contriteness born of submissiveness, and yet strength abounded. I could see she loved him, but she held the door ajar and the security chain appeared fragile. I may be judged as a soulless prick, but hey. Anyway, I'd soon be taking this beauty away from my old friend. I did consider him a friend although I didn't really have time for friends. I mostly had acquaintances, made up of pissed off husbands, boyfriends and stunned idiots wondering why their girlfriends, wives and fiances had strayed. Maybe good ole Jack would join the queue, an angry line of confused males who'd like very much to get rid of me. But I actually liked the guy... and I was insanely jealous of him. He was way too smart... and way too kind. Maybe we could work something out, like an arrangement or something? Intimate Blackout Of course I had a pocket book full of phone numbers, of willing sluts eager to please me. This affliction of mine... if that's what was the correct terminology, has caused me over the years to 'wander' somewhat. My dad kicked me out of home and I think that bitch Mary-Jane, his secretary had something to do with it. Dear old dad found out I was screwing her so that was the end of me! I had a feeling she was doing him too, but I wasn't real sure. I'm the same age as Jack and seeing him with a beautiful girl, ready to settle down had me scratching my head. Maybe it was time for me to settle too, because, no matter how many sluts I bedded, there was no lasting satisfaction. It's like I needed something more, someone more permanent, and someone more... interesting. That crack about my javelin was funny and witty. Jill was amazing, smart, and cute, and my most favorite trait of all; she was submissively shy around me in private. I discovered this on occasion when Jack left us to get drinks or to go to the men's room. I'd tease her or say something sexy and she'd go all giggly and look away embarrassed. Of course I gradually took more and more liberties. On the dance floor one night I pushed up her little skirt and enjoyed the feel of her upper thighs and the lower rolls of her beautiful buttocks. She whined that future hubby might see us but not once did she pull back or slap me away. I knew I owned her then. Pansy Jack had lost his girl! The badgering and incessant sexy e-mails wore her down. >Hi babe, you're looking sexy today >How do you know, you can't see what I'm wearing! >I just know, because you always want to look good for me >Not just for you, for Jack as well >And for me? >Yeah >Yeah >Take them off. I don't like you wearing them >Why >Because I said so, now do as you're told. I don't want to have to put you over my knee and warm that pretty bum of yours with my hand >You're kidding! >I never kid, now have you done it? >Yes >Good girl, no panties today. We'll talk later Little chats like that kept her on the boil. Anticipation was the key. Patience and constant prodding would eventually bring her to me. Of course my plan worked and when I heard the knock on that hotel suite door my heart smiled and my grin throbbed. Well, anyway... you get my drift. She was stunning clothed but perfection nude. Yes, she was amazing. Jilly's long legs swept upward to toned thighs and precisely proportioned hips. She was neatly trimmed and the auburn hair at her sex appeared a shade lighter, almost blonde compared to the cascading curly waterfall bouncing about her shoulders and framing her beautiful but anxious face. She nervously flicked at a coiled tendril of spiraled curl from covering one sparkling eye. Her narrow waist hour glassed upward drawing my own eyes to those perfect mounds. They were tits worthy of Venus. They say a handful is perfect and although I have big hands, hers rated a ten. As I examined those slightly upward pointed and conical breasts topped with red capped areola that blended to similar colored nipples I realized that the arbitrary scale of 'one to ten' was flawed with certain inadequacy. I lifted the left tit gently, almost reverently and the siren shook with arousal. Firm and weighty, soft and pliable; they were all a man could ever wish for. Jill's eyes blinked up at me, having watched as I gently stroked a thumb over one taught nub. She sought approval. I could only nod, speech had deserted me. Did I mention her physical presence, her scent, her shampoo and perfume? Flowers wafting in a spring breeze as the ocean lapped at squeaky sand. She overcame me. Her shy smile reduced me to a trembling blob of uselessness. As I took my pleasure that night I occasionally shook my head as if to confirm reality. Looking down at that precisely carved heart shaped bum as it oscillated before me had me gasping and clinging to the edge of some hallucinate cliff. I knew with certainty that night that there would never be another woman like this one... not ever. I'd found the one in a trillion, but that scared me, because, for the first time in my life I realized I felt inferior to a female. That's not to say I showed it. I treated her exactly how she liked to be treated, hard, commanding, forcefully and dominantly... and she loved it! But I was smitten. She owned me... It was during that third time we'd met up in the hotel. I was lying beside the naked nymph sucking in air and seeing stars. She crawled over and placed her head on my chest, but looked downward at my spent manhood, prodding it like a child might poke at a dead wet jellyfish with a gnarly chunk of driftwood. "What's the matter big boy; did the little girl tucker you out?" She giggled and the movement of her wild hair across my bare chest had me twitching. Her sweet smell was nauseating. "Come on, wake up little man!" More prodding and lifting ensued. The sex creature from planet exotica dropped her prey, realizing it was out for the count and turned her head up to me and smiled. That smile would melt icecaps. "So, I'm getting married next week, and I guess this is it?" She pouted. The fact she asked it as a question had me grinning. "No baby, I'll never give you up. If I had my way I'd stop the wedding, but I know how much Jack means to you." Actually I wasn't sure at all. I knew she sort of loved him, and she'd tried to explain previously that her love for him had nothing to do with the sex she had with me. Now I knew firsthand what it was like to have meaningless sex for the sake of simple gratification and fun, but things had changed for me. I was in love! For the first time in my life I had real feelings for a woman. Perhaps I was getting old, growing mushy and soft. Whatever the reason was, this woman had pounded down my fortress walls and demanded entrance. "I won't let you marry him, I'll abduct you and keep you in a dungeon and fuck you stupid every day!" Jill laughed and kissed my left nipple. "Now that sounds pretty appealing. But I will be marrying Jack and that's the end of it. So baby, what are we going to do?" It was totally obvious my girl wanted this to continue, but how? "Well, firstly I'll let you marry the wimp but there will be a penalty to pay." I grabbed a fistful of that amazing silk hair and pulled her up close to me. She didn't resist and her soft lips met mine and those hard nipples dragged begrudgingly across my hairy chest like set jellies over a washboard. She chuckled. "So lover, what's the penalty... I like penalties." She whispered and licked my nose. "The penalty is, you have to fuck me first on your wedding night." Her shock ripped the smirk from her face. My own grin hurt. "You're kidding right?" "Nope." "But how?" "Benzodiazepine." "What the hell's that?" "Sleeping tablets... I just happen to have some. I'll slip it into his drink and he'll sleep like a baby... all night." "Oh... do you really think it will work?" She looked up from beneath those auburn lashes and I could see the twinkle reflected in those startling green eyes, albeit masked by her expression of fake horror. I smiled and shoved her back down to my revived jellyfish. Jill giggled and went to work. **** As soon as I'd slipped the crushed tablets into Jack's drink, I urged him to scull it, announcing that his new wife awaited him upstairs. Jack looked a bit frantic and a touch distressed, as if uncertain he'd meet expectations. He'd already drunk to much and I seriously doubted his ability to do the job. I chuckled inwardly. Don't worry old friend your lovely wife won't be disappointed! We'd spent ten minutes in the bar on Jill's insistence, suggesting she wanted a little time to freshen up and prepare for her 'lover'. At least that's what Jack thought! She was indeed at that moment preparing for her lover, only I was the lover! She had strict instructions to remain dressed in her wedding dress and bridal apparel, reattach the veil and remove the silk panties. I was buzzing with hot anticipation! Jack was beginning to appear vacant, so I put an arm around him and literally dragged him up to the room. Yeah, he'd already had a lot to drink tonight. Jill met us at the door looking absolutely stunning in white lace. She fussed guiltily over her husband helping him to sit whilst I removed the cushion seating from the two couches and laid them out on the floor. The second he fell asleep I stripped Jack of his suit leaving only his boxer shorts. I laid him on the cushions and Jill covered him with a blanket and kissed his forehead softly, whispering that she loved him. And I admit her demeanor bore nothing short of pure love. But she needed the sex, and her libido had conquered. She stood, turned to me and nervously smiled. She appeared uncomfortable and to overcome her anxiety she tried for levity. "Well lover, do you take this bride, to be..." That was as far as she got with her silly sweet vow. I yelled "I do!" and attacked her, lifted the veil and hungrily dueled her tongue with mine. We fell back onto the bed in a ruffle of displaced lace and silk. Jill soon lost her hesitancy, laughed and returned the fervor with equal tenacity, wrapping her white stocking clad legs around my waist and crossing her white heeled feet in a death knot. Perhaps I could have and should have been more tentative to her needs, but the night was young! I grabbed at my belt but she swiftly slapped my hands away and furiously attended the task. She could have completed the job quicker with her teeth; such was her shocking haste and resultant fumbling grabbing attempts to release both belt and buttons. I laughed and she cursed the zip. I never knew zips had mothers! God it hurt when she reefed it free! She was scrambling with her lace and silk, pulling the layers high enough to allow access. Holding me in one hand, and her skirts in the other, she peered down, centered me and bucked her pelvis savagely. I guessed foreplay to be unnecessary! Sex that night was an alien thing, born of the cosmos. The added knowledge that her husband laid comatose on the floor beneath us seemed to add fuel to her fire. She would look down at him lovingly and bounce higher, scream louder and yell harder! Her orgasms were almost continuous planet killers! This, for me was pure sex of the highest order and I guessed it was the same for Jill. This girl was born to give her body to another and born to receive pleasure in return. I considered myself fit and enduring but Jill belittled me. Bathed in sweat, panting in exhaustion, she'd be furiously cranking me back to life, desperate to go again. It was four in the fucking morning before I finally passed out. I could feel her hammering on my chest calling me pathetic! My fuzzy vision took in this mostly nude wild thing still wearing her veil, suspender belt and stockings, shaking me violently and extolling my uselessness before unconsciousness finally consumed me. **** CHAPTER 5. JACK. My nurse smiled a smile that suggested she truly cared. It wasn't a fake plastic teeth gritted smile like the one you receive from people pretending to be pleasant, no her smile radiated warmth that spoke of true friendship. I'd learned that Kathy had cared for me for three years, ever since starting at the care facility. Of course others alternated shifts with her, but Kathy was my main 'day' carer and along with one other patient, I was her main charge. It was her angelic face that I first sighted when I groped my way back into this world; a world that had left me in its trail. Kathy was beautiful, radiant and was dark skinned like some deep green jade. She wore her hair tight and coiffed but I could imagine how she might look with those tight curls streaming down over her petite shoulders. Big dark brown eyes shone down as she gently washed my nakedness with a warm wet cloth. This beautiful creature had applied this loving care to me twice daily for her entire employment. I failed to understand how she could possibly enjoy washing a vegetable like me but she just chuckled playfully and then ran the cloth over my exposed groin. "Maybe I like touching you, and watching to see if your body reacts to my touch." She smiled. "It did you know, and that's why I knew you weren't lost." I felt sensation... and shuddered. More attention followed her smirk. "I lived everyday with the expectation that you'd wake up and smile at me... and then you did!" Her expression then went suddenly wooden. "But now I'm sad because you'll be going home soon, and I'll lose you. You've been a part of my life for so long now..." A tear pushed its way from beneath one of those long thick black lashes. She clasped my hand and I tried to smile but I wanted to cry with her. I'd never really known this angel, but I realized in that moment that she had been my guardian for many years and even though I'd only just recently 'physically' met her, I'd known her spirit for a very long time. We were inadvertently bonded. Kathy was a part of who I was now, and that thought made me very sad. I should have been ecstatic that I was going home but instead I gripped her hand and blinked away my own sorry tears. "Thank you beautiful, for caring for me, and for believing in me." Big fat tears scrolled a lazy path down her shiny dark cheeks. "Hey, you're welcome; I was just doing my job." She tried to smile. Her teeth were amazing, so white and perfect. Of course her statement was bullshit. Just doing a job did not involve the deep belief and love she had obviously shown me on a daily and continuous basis. That certainly was not a part of her job description. No, this beautiful girl was someone very special. **** It goes without saying that two weeks after arriving home a taxi pulled up in the driveway. Jill pushed my wheel chair out onto the porch and together we watched as Kathy struggled and tugged her suitcases up the steps grinning from ear to ear. I guessed her age at 25 although it was difficult to judge. This day she was out of uniform, and the light sundress accentuated her lovely figure and she looked so innocently young. At a guess I'd say 5'4", her bum was a little full and her breasts a little under done, but the overall package was perfect. Her hair was down today and the light breeze wafted the fine tight curls as they bounced. Long chocolate brown legs shuffled on flat white sandals as she hauled at the luggage. "Hello Angel." My smile hurt my cheeks. She dropped the cases, leaped forward and entwined herself in my arms, bending to plant a kiss on my cheek. "Hello Mr Stevens, Mrs Stevens, it's so good to be here!" Kathy appeared giddy with excitement and went to shake Jill's hand but my wife pulled her in for a hug and back pat. "This house is amazing!" Her eyes darted about in giddy anticipation. "It's really good to have you here Kathy. My husband very much appreciates all your efforts to help him recover. I too thank you from the depths of my heart." They kissed cheeks and I felt their connection. Unbelievably I had two beautiful women who cared for me, even though I was a broken thing, and now pretty much worthless. Having Kathy on board would free up Jill from the mundane tasks of caring for me, washing me and helping me with my toilet needs. That day when I left hospital I had asked Kathy if she'd like to be my full time nurse and I threw out an outrageous sum of money to entice her, to be my live in carer and then crossed my fingers. She didn't hesitate, screamed out 'yes!' and gave two weeks' notice that same day, the very day I was wheeled out in my new wheelchair to finally depart for home and resume my 'interrupted' life. **** Home hadn't changed all that much other than there were now three other people living here. Yes, I'd come to terms with the fact that my wife had bedded another man in my absence and that their union had produced two beautiful children. That man just happened to be my best friend, a man I'd known from my childhood. Of course my memory and thought processes were still scattered to the winds, but I do vaguely remember Carl from around the time of our marriage. I remembered him as being a little loud mouthed, over confident and charismatic. That same man was now very quiet and reserved. I suspected a secret, but we didn't talk much. Carl was currently working on a project in another state and had been gone for two days. I'd watched Jill kiss him goodbye, and watching them locked in embrace stirred unfathomable feelings within me. Yes, there was the expected jealousy but also there was something more, something that frightened me. It turned me on and that strange sense of deja vu swept over me again. When I'd first returned home Jill had set up a specially equipped bedroom with hand rails and a lift crane and special needs apparatus in the newly converted downstairs den. Carl had constructed a large adjoining open plan en-suite bathroom so that I now had a self-contained living and bedroom area. But the elephant in the room remained. Jill had of course introduced me to her children in the hospice and I can't tell you how strange it felt to shake the hands of your wife's beautiful kids. The eldest, Jessica, was almost five years old, blonde and blue eyed just like Carl, whilst the younger girl, Jade, was auburn haired and green eyed like her mother, only hers were really dark green and her hair was not quite so red, more strawberry blonde. Every aspect of her countenance suggested this child would one day be every bit as beautiful as her mother. They were both perfect female specimens and in some self-downing way I was glad they held no resemblance to me. But what did all this mean to my marriage? Complexities existed. Jill had signed a Prenup happily, knowing realistically that circumstances change and marriages fail. She claimed that it was only right to sign the agreement, considering half my wealth was family fortune and, as she laughed playfully; she was a self-confessed gold digger. I knew she loved me; that was without question, but she was also a realist. So, in the event of my accidental or natural death, my fortune passed to my heir or in default to my younger brother, who by the way hated me. Being second in line was never pleasing and in his mind totally unacceptable. My parents had both succumbed to cancer in their sixties within a year of each other. They had married late in life and Dad was forty when I was born. My only brother, Ben, had only visited me once in hospital, and that's when I was still comatose. Kathy told me his visit was brief and that he asked only one question... 'Is he going to live?' He was a vulture, circling the carcass. I'm glad Kathy was present at the time because I feared he'd unplug my life support! Some written application had been made by him as to allowing me to die 'peacefully' and shutting off my machine. Jill vehemently rejected the proposal and claimed that I was breathing 'naturally'. That claim was challenged and my machine was momentarily disconnected. Thank god my lungs kept breathing and my brain had responded to my desire to live! So I lived another day! It still didn't stop my greedy brother from further applying to the medical board to have me terminated... the fucking bastard! Anyway, the Prenup stipulated that on the event of my accidental death, Jill would receive a generous living allowance of one million a year for the rest of her life. It was nothing really, and at least she'd survive, but she wouldn't be living in this mansion or driving an Aston Martin Vanquish! If we'd had kids, then the full inheritance would be available to a boy at age 21 and in the event of having only girls, at age 30 for the eldest. Of course, you may remember that I've been told I can't have kids, so my brother or his oldest boy would likely be the ultimate benefactor... if I died of old age or whatever. I'm sure my caring brother and his piranha family were all rubbing their hands together in anticipation of the news of my passing. I guess I'd fucked up their party! At least for a while. Intimate Blackout So, what of the issue at hand? I wake up from a coma after almost six years and my wife and my best friend are partners and have two beautiful girls! They obviously sleep together, up in what was once our bedroom... and in what was once our marital bed. The woman I worshiped was no longer exclusively mine and that knowledge tore at my heart. But I was also a realist. What would I have done in the circumstances? All medical opinion suggested I'd never wake and at best remain vegetative. Jill was never going to divorce me, and that reality was not based on her loss of fortune; it was because she loved me and would never abandon me. But she had needs, as do all human beings. She craved companionship and love. She needed to communicate and feel wanted... and she had desires, desires we all have. As a barely breathing vegetable I could not fulfill any of those needs. So she had turned to our friend and he took on my responsibilities. He'd cared for my wife, watched over her and ultimately loved her. How could I negatively judge that? It was only right... So now, around me, they acted weird, unsure of how the new dynamic of me returning home would work. I tried to shrug it off and pretend not to notice, but when they kissed, out of sheer habit and then realizing I was present and watching; they'd pull back nervously and touch fingers briefly. Jill would be affectionate and caring around me but that exuberance of life she once possessed was missing. I was the wobbly third wheel on a bicycle, of no real use and certainly not required. Finally I'd had enough and one night after Jess and Jade had been blackmailed into bed with promises of a bed time story from 'Uncle' Jack, I called for a grownup meeting. Yes, I was 'Uncle Jack', even though I was still mommy's husband. This was going to be tough but the situation required addressing. Oh, and the girls always squealed with delight on any announcement of a bedtime story delivered by good old Uncle Jack, because I twisted the stories and added my own unique blend, always delivering a surprise new ending! It was time... D-day! I rolled my chair into the middle of the room, clapped my hands and called the 'meeting' to order. The two looked about the room appearing a touch flighty and refrained from holding hands. Hey knew what was coming and nerves prevailed. "So, I've just about had enough of you two slinking about looking guilty and anxious. Why the hell can't you both just act normal around me? I understand the circumstances and I do not begrudge you. You both had to move on, so what's the problem?" I glanced between the two lovers and tried to smile. I may have been unconvincing. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. We were told you'd never recover!" Jill rushed my wheel chair and hugged me. "We never meant to hurt you." "Hey, I'm not hurting. Do you still love me?" I held her hand a little fearful. "Of course I do, but..." "Shhh... do you love Carl?" "Yes..." Her acknowledgement was barely a squeak. "Do you love your kids?" "Yes." That confirmation was firmer. "So what IS the problem? Go sit on Carl's lap and give the poor guy a hug." Jill smiled and slashed at a tear. She walked over to her lover and sat on his lap. His big arms encircled her. "That's much better." I remarked. "Now how do we proceed? Should we divorce? That will allow you to both move on with your lives?" Maybe my delivery was off because Jill burst into tears! Carl pulled out a large checked handkerchief and offered it to his girl. "Sorry Jack, but that's the one thing she doesn't want!" Carl muttered looking distressed. "Why, is it because of the Prenup?" Fuck, that comment was met with loud wailing sobs! Carl continued. "No Jack, she's never worried about any Prenup. Jill's only ever wanted to be Mrs Jack Stevens." My wife nodded furiously. "I'm just her toy-boy, her insignificant lover..." That last statement was barely uttered as another bout of sobs ensued. Jill smacked Carl's upper arm as if annoyed. More hanky wipes and nose blows followed. My confrontation was not going well! "I love you too you big lug!" More nose blowing! I tried a new tact. "Okay, okay... what if we just continue as we are." I paused. "Jill and I are married but my wife has a lover. So what, we're living in a new age. Blended families are the norm, but we need to work out how the kids will introduce us, and how we move forward without all the guilt and sneaking about." Jill had calmed and was watching me with big red wet eyes that blinked intermittently. "You two will carry on exactly as you've done so for the past six years, and as if I am not here. For my part, I will grow used to seeing you both uninhibited and acting naturally around me. If I fail to see you kissing each other or cuddling up together all bets are off because, I'll file for divorce if that's the only way I can get you both back together." I chuckled, trying to make light of the threat, but I hoped that there was enough conviction in my demeanor to kick-start their union once more. I continued my delivery. "Now I will introduce the children as my step kids. We'll have a blended marriage, only in our case the 'ex', that's you Carl, lives with us for the sake of the kids. No one need know that the two of you are 'intimate' and sleep together. Carl, you will always be daddy to the girls and I'm happy to be called poppa or Uncle or whatever you two feel is appropriate and are comfortable with them calling me." I shrugged as Jill extracted herself and walked back to me, her appreciation more than evident in her smile. "Thank you my beautiful and understanding husband. That idea sounds just fine." Jill sat on my lap and kissed my lips briefly. I breathed her in. God I missed her... "So, do I have your permission to kiss my lover?" She grinned at my perplexity. I nodded stupidly. "Are you okay with him touching me... intimately?" Another stupid nod, only this time I understood the game. "Are you good with my lover seeing me naked?" "Huh ha..." "What about us making love?" She grinned. "Yeah..." "You know I'll be sleeping in my lover's bed at night and... he uses me hard baby, and... I might be noisy..." The imagery left me feeling dizzy. "But you like that idea, don't you?" She smirked and shuffled her hips, dragging that tight denim covered bum over my crotch. Something was sparking down there but it felt like the plumbing was blocked with a thick wadded hair ball. "Hmmm..." I tried to respond like a normal man, but I was overcome with dizziness. My wife smirked. "Okay, Carl and I will attempt to move forward, but if things become too hard or too intense, then you need to say something. How about we all have a safe word, for when circumstances become too confronting or weird. What about 'Arretez'? It's easy to remember... it's French for 'stop'. Just think stop and remember the French translation. If anyone ever says this word, we stop immediately, what we are doing and discuss the issue immediately, even if we're in public, we'll convene to a private location and talk." "Yeah, okay that sounds good." Jill pecked me quickly once more, walked back to Carl and pulled him to his feet. They kissed passionately as Carl's big hand cupped my wife's bum. Eventually Jill turned to me as if to check my well-being. I smiled and raised my glass in salute. She smiled back. We sat and talked well into the night, discussing events I'd missed both on the local scene and worldwide including the horrors of Sept 11, 2001 which mercifully I'd missed witnessing first hand. Finally Jill wheeled me into my bedroom, helped me undress and attended to my bathroom needs. Carl was summoned and he effortlessly lifted me into bed and Jill covered me before kissing me goodnight. She stepped back into Carl's big frame and he wrapped his arms about her petite waist. "Jack, Carl and I are going to bed now. If you need us for anything just ring the buzzer and I'll be right down. Good night darling." "Sleep well pal, I'll check on you in the morning. Come on babe, I'm feeling pretty randy tonight!" Carl winked at me over Jill's shoulder. My wife squirmed and chuckled as a big hand groped her full breasts. "I can't wait big boy." She winked at me as well, and I smiled witnessing their playfulness. Shit, this was going to be hard... **** CHAPTER 6. KATHY. Oh my god, this place was unbelievable. The views over the bay were to die for! There was a tennis court and a huge horizon pool that offered views for miles and miles! I had my own wing of the mansion, complete with two bedrooms and an adjoining bathroom with a huge spa! There was even a big lift up to the second story! Jack even said I could use the spare car, because it was old and unloved. When Ms Jill showed me my car, well the one I could use, I nearly fainted!! OMG, it was gorgeous. At first I thought the name said Posh! And it looked very posh and fast and sexy and silver like a diamond! Jill laughed at me, said it was a Porsche and rolled the 'e' to sound like an 'a'. I tried to pronounce it out but it still sounded like Posh. So I rang my mom and said I had a posh and she just said that's nice dear and went on for an hour about Aunt Annabelle's kidney stones. I said I was going to hop in the 'spa' and she said I shouldn't be in a 'bar' cause it wasn't lady like! I swear that momma is going senile. I said I'd talk to her later and told her that I loved her and hang up just as she started on about Uncle Bobby's ingrown toenail. Thank god she lived on the West Coast!! I sank back into the bubbles and thought back on my unbelievable recent good fortune. Four years ago I was a mess. Stoned off my head most of the time and clinging to my asshole boyfriend Mason who treated me like shit and hit me constantly. I had no one else and for whatever reason I put up with the abuse partially believing I deserved it. One night he came home in the early hours high on crack and drunk, waving a loaded pistol in my face and threatening to shoot my stupid brains out all over the wall if I didn't spread my legs. I cried the whole time and eventually he hit me so hard, in an effort to shut me up, that I blacked out! I woke up in a pool of vomit and pee and decided to run. I had no place to go so I went to a welfare shelter. This one was privately run and the people there seemed genuine and friendly. It was the best thing I'd ever done, as fate would ultimately prove. The thing that hit me the most was how much strangers cared about me and it was perhaps that observation alone that caused me to inquire about how I too might get a job as a care person. Mary, the supervisor promised to check with the 'foundation head' to see if I could be sponsored into a training program. I remember the day clearly as she practically ran at me beaming to announce that Mr Stevens had allocated money and guaranteed placement in an evening course. It was around this time that I recognized 'him' the 'asshole' on a security camera image of a bank robbery in progress on the news whilst enjoying a bowl of hot soup at the center. Suddenly the soup tasted like cardboard. The police were offering a $10,000 reward to anyone recognizing any of the perpetrators caught on camera and the big black masked thug waving a stubby looking shotgun about, who looked up at the camera and smirked just before the image went speckled and pix-elated was instantly recognizable. The missing lower front tooth, those eyes beneath the mask and the way he dragged his left foot, the result of an old debilitating knife wound in his tendon had me shaking. The bastard glancing up at the security camera, frozen in place as the reward amount scrolled beneath it, was none other than my shitty ex, Mason Huston. With hands shaking and lips trembling I found myself ringing the Crime Stoppers number and spilling the pricks identity. The cops found him exactly where I suggested they would and the stupid fool was sprung red handed still rolling in his ill-gotten loot. Six months later he was convicted and I anonymously pocketed the reward; a small compensation given the atrocities he'd inflicted on me. The reward monies allowed me to rent a room and feed myself whilst I worked, studied and attended classes at night. I guess the rest is history, but imagine my surprise when my very first 'real' patient in my very first 'real' job turns out to be Jack Stevens, head of the 'CARE FOR ALL' foundation, the very same man who sponsored the shelter and the very same man who'd paid for my qualification! It was certainly a small world! Evidently the poor man had fallen down a flight of stairs and hit his head... bad. When I first attended him the prognosis was bleak. He'd been in a coma for a year before I started work, and he'd made no progress. Some family relation, who later turned out to be a brother, made application to switch of his machines, but I cried blue murder to the medical counsel swearing that he'd responded to me on occasion with eye movement and sometimes twitched a finger in response to my questions. The last bit was a big fat lie, but I wanted to claim that Mr Stevens had brain function and was not a candidate to be euthanized. I owed this man everything I now was, so a few lies were easily justified. Thank God the decision was in his favor and I spent the next four and a half years as his primary carer. Is it possible for a girl to fall in love with a man locked up in a coma? I had no one else in my life and maybe it was the dreamy fantasies of a lost soul that had me willing this man to wake up and take me in his arms and carry me out to his carriage. During the lonely night shift hours I would find myself checking the clock at midnight and wishing for that very miracle. Of course I knew he was married, I'd seen his wife on countless occasions. She was simply stunning; her long auburn hair flowed about her like some fiery waterfall and those vivid green eyes shone like unfathomable stars, while her long flawless legs always clicked on the linoleum flooring shod in an endless array of beautiful heeled designer shoes. Her tight blouses, ample bust, deep cleavage and designer denim or short hemlines always left me feeling small and inadequate. God, I was an ex drug addict, a pathetic skinny black girl from the wrong end of town dressed in hospital scrubs. But hey, a girl can dream! I knew his wife; Jill (as she'd introduced herself), loved her husband deeply, but even from that first introduction and the appearance of the man called 'Carl', I knew there was something else going on. I often saw them holding hands together even while sitting beside Jack and on a number of occasions caught them kissing passionately in the hall or out in the car park which was mostly visible from the nurse's station window. When Jill became pregnant, and her baby girl was introduced to Jack for the first time, my suspicions were of course cemented. Carl and Jill were having a relationship which now included having kids, even though I knew for a fact, that she was still legally married to my charge. So I dreamed on. My knight would one day wake up and I'd be there waiting... And one day, that beautiful glorious day in May, he did just that. I had a feeling it was imminent. Over the previous months I'd coaxed life out of his plumbing with my gentle body washes. The amount of attention I'd given that particular part of his autonomy may have been inappropriate and outside of 'guideline' procedure, endangering my employment but when I'd noticed that first twitch, I pushed forward. Hey... as they say, the way to spark a man's brain is through his libido. Okay, so I made that up, but it was plausible! So I flicked the ignition switch constantly, and more and more the little flame flickered. I was watching his REM closely beneath his closed lids when suddenly mid stroke they opened and stared straight at me! I screamed, threw the bedclothes over his nudity and ran for Doctor Morgan!! **** When Jack asked me to be his full time live-in carer and come home with him I nearly died! I knew that he'd seen my tears and felt my grief in regard to his impending departure but I'd not seen this coming! So here I was! And... Wow! The mansion and grounds were beautiful! A little upmarket from my noisy 'El' abutting one bed two roomed apartment! Hey, I now even had a spa! He mostly called me Angel! And I had a Posh! Jack became my sole responsibility. Other than the full time cook, Elsie, I was the only other employee. Elsie was 61 and lived with her husband about ten minutes away and arrived at about 11 am every day and went home just as soon as she completed cooking the evening meal which was generally around 6 pm. Thanks to Elsie the house was always well stocked with food and both lunch and dinner were always exceptional. I must say that she spoiled the kids though, but they loved the treats and called her grandma Elsie, so it was all good. Of course the time spent with Jack only endeared him to me even more, but I could see that he loved his wife dearly, even though it became very clear that his wife was in a permanent, stable and intimate relationship with Carl. At first I was shocked but I'd slowly become accustomed to this strange dynamic. Carl was a massive mountain of a man and he had an easy going nature. I grew to like him but at times hated him too. As time went on he and Jill seemed to tease poor Jack endlessly. At first I thought this was really cruel, until one day I understood it all. I was actually helping Jack with his shower when Jill pranced into her husband's bedroom unannounced. "Oh, sorry honey, I didn't realize you were taking a shower." Jill just walked in anyhow and stood radiantly before us. Her tight feminine body wrapped in a short and unquestionable expensive designer dress with a frilled hem. She looked like a twenties flapper. God I wish my boobs looked like hers! And those legs... I just froze in awe, holding Jack's chair for support as the shower nozzle continued to spray Jack's soapy chest. I stood agape, carved like stone draped in a plastic coverall, with hair pinned back and without any form of makeup. In comparison to the vision standing before me, I was a nothing. The realization of inadequacy caused me to shrink back and feel so very small. How could I possibly compete? The plug hole suddenly looked inviting. Jill just smiled that smile and her full red glossed lips confirmed my inferiority. "Honey," she continued, "Carl and I are heading for Vegas and we won't be back until Sunday evening. I have a sitter booked for tonight and tomorrow, including Saturday night as well, so the girls will be okay. I'll ring you form the hotel once we've settled and let you know what's happening, that is... if I can get the big guy to leave me alone for a few moments." She giggled. "But you know Carl, he's insatiable! So I might get a bit distracted, but I promise to ring you sometime honey." Jill smirked, leaned into the shower stall and sloppy kissed her husband's cheek leaving two perfect imprints of gloss lips, then turned on her heels and strode noisily from the room; her amazing frill hemmed bum swayed to some unheard twenties jazz theme. That's when I finally understood it. Jack loved what his teasing wife was doing; his frantic breathing and now very apparent full-on arousal hiding beneath his hands told me exactly what was going on! "So, you like it when she teases you?" I continued spraying his body with the shower head, only aiming lower. "It gets you off when your wife tells you she's about to sleep with her lover." I slapped the hands away and gently caressed him. Jack groaned and nodded, his eyes flickering shut. If he wasn't confined to the shower chair I reckoned he'd have fallen to his knees. "You love her so much, and yet she flaunts her lover in front of you, knowing you get off on it." Jack wailed out in frustration, and pounded his palm into the shower wall... his pleasure denying him. Intimate Blackout But from that moment onward, our dynamic changed. That night, with Jill and Carl in Vegas and the nanny and kids in bed, I sat with Jack in his bedroom watching some old Hitchcock black and white movie on a huge wall mounted flat panel. There were heaps of birds sitting about and it was pretty creepy, so I just sat and watched Jack, smiling occasionally when he glanced nervously between me and the cell phone. I think the phone was the cause of the anxiety, not the birds, because he looked at it like one might eye a hissing cobra. "Your beautiful wife will be ringing soon; to tell you she's having a great time with her lover. Does that excite you Jack?" I tried to sound cool, but I think I was as excited as he was! I was fizzing like a lit skyrocket seeking flight. He grimaced and glanced up quickly then away just as quickly. I could see the pain, stirred with the vibrancy of life. "Just think that at this very moment they are likely making sweet love in some smoky motel room, whispering into each other's ears, crying out their pleasure..." I couldn't help giggling when Jack groaned, shifting about in his seat like he had worms. "But you love it, don't you Jack?" I leaned over and unzipped his fly. Oh yeah, the man who was supposedly paralyzed from the waist down loved it all right! "She's kissing him down here Jack; she's taking him in, loving him and worshiping him." I sucked in a gut-full of courage and demonstrated what may be happening in that faraway city of sin. I leaned in and worshiped my Knight's Excalibur just as his wife was likely worshiping her lover's. Jack didn't renege, he didn't push me away and nor did he protest. I was his care person, and care came in many forms! The phone rang just then, startling us both, but when I checked out his dreamy countenance I smiled and continued on with my frantic application. "Hi honey." He grunted a little breathlessly. "How's your night?" I could only make out one side of the conversation but I quickly got the drift. "So, you're in bed?" A pause ensued. "Oh, so you like that?" Jack's body was shaking now. "Wow, four times already... Isn't he exhausted?" I could hear Jill's laugh before she said something else. Jack started to pulse. "Oh my god... doesn't that hurt?" I detected another laugh and Jack groaned deeply and for the first time in six years Jack functioned as a man. His capitulation in release was awesome! I shrieked with delight as the phone clattered noisily across the floor. Yes, it would be fair to say things had changed. I could hear the distressed voice of Jill calling 'Jack, Jack'! Picking up the phone I simply said 'Hi Mrs Stevens, Jack just fell of his chair, he'll call yo all right back'. I giggled and hung up! **** CHAPTER 7. JACK. Memory is a fickle thing. My Angel was an aspiration, an inspiration, and life suddenly seemed golden. All of these feelings, swirled with a mix of bewilderment, swam about my confused and yet delighted mind. I was functional again 'down there' and my Angel, along with my ever loving wife imparting her cruel and erotic playfulness upon me had fixed the once suspected irreversibly broken connection between the neurons in my big head and brain in the smaller one. I wanted to shout for joy! It was the Saturday after the big night. Carl and Jill were still in Vegas and I was alive with new life! I'd awoken early and was just lying there, trying to place the jigsaw pieces of my forgotten past and waiting for my angel to help me out of bed. I was reliving the event of last night, realizing that Kathy had played to my sick fantasy; had taken my manhood in hand and demanded its functionality. I should have been shocked, but I was delighted! I may have mentioned it, but I just want to reiterate just how beautiful Kathy is. Okay, so she is not in Jill's league when it comes to outward female perfection, but how do you compare a gazelle to a koala? What is perfection? Kathy loved me... I'm not so stupid as to not recognize that! She watches me constantly, her big brown eyes seep warmth and adoration. It's like she sees some god in me that requires worshiping. I'm nothing when it comes to being a man. I'm not only broken, I'm also not much to look at. I'm certainly no Carl, and absolutely nothing special in anyway shape or form, but my wife Jill recognized something in me more than just my money, because there was no doubting she loved me, despite her relationship with my best friend and them conceiving two beautiful children together. I mean what else was she going to do, with me in a coma and all? Yes, it hurt like hell, but I was also happy for her, that she'd found someone to love and care for her. And who better than someone I knew and trusted. So back to my shadow... my angel Kathy. How did we fit? The quiet knock on the door was simply a formality, because verbal acquiesce to enter was not required. The smiling dark chocolate brown face smiled broadly as she entered. "Hello and good morning Mr Stevens. I hope you slept well?" There was a mischievous smile implanted in those enthralling eyes. The dark perfection wrapped in a white apron glided about the room, fiddling unnecessarily and picking up a fallen pillow, shuffling apart thick curtains before pouring a glass of ice cold water. My wheel chair appeared from nowhere and the bed cover was thrown back... all before I could adversely react to her intoxicating presence. "Hmm... looks like my naughty boy's been thinking about that wayward wife of his!" She smiled. I looked down at the source of her observation, and then tried that big puppy dog innocent eyed thing that never seems to work. Kathy burst into mirth. "Oh no you don't! You can't fool me." She grabbed the embarrassing appendage and smacked at it, like it was a naughty little boy! "Hey..." But I was too gutless to tell this amazing creature that in fact the cause of my affliction sat smiling slyly in front of me. "Now, just lie back and let's take care of this for you." Hey, who am I to argue. She's the trained nurse! **** I was sitting in her Posh (silly girl) with the wheelchair 'elastic strapped' to the roof ski racks. This was once my car, the one I'd been driving at the time of the 'accident'. It was over six years old but it had low mileage and my Angel adored it... and drove the thing like A J Foyt! It fascinated me to want desperately to stamp my right foot into the floor to help brake the bloody missile that she understood to be her daily 'mild' mode of transport. I even curiously examined my foot to see if it twitched... even a little bit... because my brain was definitely screaming out all the right signals! So in frustration and fright I decided to squeal verbally instead... "Shit... look out!" A bloody bus just pulled out without indication but Angel just tutted, reefed right, slotted a lower gear and accelerated... just like the Scud missile she was imitating! Up until three months ago the girl didn't even have a licence! The turn into the mall car park was executed like one of those precision drivers slotting a ridiculously over-sized car into equally ridiculous undersized gap! She pulled the hand brake, feathered the clutch and next thing I know we're sitting against the curb perfectly parallel parked in the invalid zone. The only thing to give away the manoeuvre was the remnant stink of tire smoke! Oh, and about a hundred curious onlookers! Angel bounced out of the ridiculously low vehicle in a breeze blown knee length summer dress, pranced around the hood grinning like a chimp and showing off to the max! She soon had the chair in place and me sitting bemused and bewildered within its confines clutching at the arm rests white knuckled and still trying to catch up! She was amazing! I would realize in time just how so, because she had this natural ability to think on her feet, learn fast and act quickly! I'd promised her a day out shopping and in the absence of my wife, I thought today would suit just fine. Normally I'd just book some high end boutique for the day and let the staff there fawn and flutter about, fussing over her and fitting her... but no... Angel wanted to go to the bloody Mall! I can't ever remember coming to a place like this. It was horrid, crowded and smelly. But this was Angel's domain! Now, I've had Angel wheel my chair before, but never in a crowded environment like we found ourselves in on that hectic Saturday afternoon. Of course I sat out front as she pushed from behind. Mistake! Have you ever been on one of those mad rides where you are confronted by a huge visual screen displaying all sorts of obstacles and, as certain death approaches you at rapid speed, you're jerked away at the last possible life saving micro-second, but only then to face yet another form of in your face certain death? Try that, but only in reality, for two full hours, zigzagging from dress shop to lingerie shop, food court to coffee outlet! I wanted to be sick! She drove through that tight crowd like a bat relying on radar! Split second decisions to dive right, dart left or stop on a dime, avoiding a certain collision by a mere millisecond. The experience had me appreciating carnival rides for their dreariness! Anyway Angel enjoyed every crazed moment; giggling and dancing for joy at every purchase I nodded my approval too. I had her model some pretty sexy dresses and even coxed her out of the dressing rooms in some lingerie. At first she was coy and shy, but as the day progressed she became more confident. Of course I praised her and clapped her and it wasn't just to boost her confidence. I did it because she was a beautiful exotic creature. I soon worked out that my girl was 5'4" tall and had, at best, B cups, but god she was perfect. There wasn't one ounce of unnecessary fat on her lean body and her dark skin glistened like pure black marble. I say unnecessary fat because there was an abundance of it on her bum, but wow! She pirouetted and twirled, laughed and clapped her mirrored image in delight. I could tell she was having quite possibly the best day of her life. I 'encouraged' her into the beauty salon and when she emerged I almost mistook her for Jessica Alba, until I realized Jessica wouldn't be seen alone in a mall, and took a second take. Wow! Angel just grinned, grabbed my wheelchair and spun me back toward the crowd. I soon worked out the correlation between her happiness was inversely proportional to her sanity! When we skidded to a stop at a coffee house I searched the board desperately requiring a scotch! But the girl was beaming, so I grinned palely and ordered two lattes. When we arrived home, still intact and surprisingly without panel damage, I invited Angel to dinner at Harry's, an upmarket restaurant on Bell Street, where I knew one phone call would gain us instant entrance. She just kept dancing in circles until she collapsed from dizziness, but somehow she orchestrated that 'faint' as a staggered lunge into my arms and a kiss on the lips! Yes, she was truly amazing. Now, you must forgive this indulgence, but you see I'd never seen Angel dolled up. When she slinked shyly into the lounge in her new tiny yellow dress, heels and accessories I nearly keeled over! Her feet were slightly turned inward, depicting a lack of confidence. Hands were clasped nervously in front. Eyes shone, teeth flashed and newly styled hair free flowed like onyx rapids in an Amazonian tributary. I wanted to bow down at her feet and, if not for the encumbrance of the wheelchair, I likely would have. Learning lessons from previous experiences, I dialed up a limo and we had a 'comfortable' ride downtown, chatting and laughing like two besotted school kids. Later that night she whispered into my ear as she tucked me in bed. "Just think, your beautiful wife is making love to her man again right now. Isn't that wonderful?" The Angel kissed my lips. Truth be known, I'd almost forgotten my wife existed! It had been a wonderful day and one I would cherish forever. I slept like a baby but my imagery of heaven had altered. **** So the dynamics around the place were now open and uninhibited, bar one; my attraction to Kathy... My feelings remained coiled within me. My wife could see I was close to my nurse, but for her to believe it was anything more than gratitude was perhaps akin to the wicked Queen believing she was still the most beautiful in all the land, refusing to accept that Snow White had eclipsed her. Now I loved Jill, of that there was no denying, but are we as humans capable of ranging love? My wife firmly believed that 'anomaly' existed in her constant claiming of her undeniable love for both me, her husband, and equally, for her lover... not forgetting her children and her deep love for them. So, could I actually be in love with Kathy as well? She was so far beneath my station and she was beautifully black, not white, but I knew I loved her, of that there was no denial. I mulled over the conundrum constantly, trying to work through my feelings. Kathy wheeled me into the kitchen for breakfast one morning. The kids were still asleep and it was a Sunday. Jill was fussing over a plate of muesli and she turned to recognize our entrance. God she looked great. Was there such a thing as liquid denim? Shit... and she was bra-less! "Hi honey... Kathy. What are you guys up to today?" Jill smiled and transitioned panther like to Carl who placed his newspaper and reached up to invite her into his lap... an offer immediately accepted. One big hand wrapped her close and pushed up under the t-shirt, quickly establishing a hold over one breast, a finger obviously sweeping the hard nub beneath. She giggled and squirmed, seated herself harder into his groin and began spooning cereal between his smirk tainted contoured lips. Kathy seemed oblivious to the interaction played out before her, poured herself a coffee and turned to lean back against the bench top cradling the wafting aromatic brew in both hands. "I thought we might head down the coast in the Posh, do some sightseeing or somethin. Jack needs some sunlight." She took a slurpy sip. I made a frantic faux cut throat shaking of head pleading 'mime' from my chair, positioned behind Kathy and out of view. There was no way I was spending time in that car with AJ! I never signed up to be a crash test dummy! Jill would save me and suggest an alternative. "What a lovely idea Kathy, Jack would love a nice leisurely drive... wouldn't you darling?" My dear wife grinned at me as she fed Carl another spoonful of his breakfast. There were two hands under the cotton top now, feasting on my wife's softness, pinching and kneading the hardness. She did not seem perturbed at all, rather thrusting out her chest as if to seek more of the pleasure she was undoubtedly receiving. "Hmm... that's lovely babe... didn't you get enough this morning?" She chuckled and popped in another spoonful. "You mister are a machine." Jill set the breakfast bowl down, jumped up and excitedly towed Carl to his feet. "Well, you guys enjoy your day; we're going back to bed. The big boy has some unfinished work to perform." More giggles and arm tugging followed her breathless delivery. "Hey, what can I say..." Carl shrugged as if reluctantly capitulating to my wife's demands. "A man's work is never ending!" He feigned reluctance as Jill dragged at his arm. The moment they were out of sight we heard a squeal then a resounding smack, more squeals and the clumping of heavy feet up wooden stairs as Carl carried his excited lover up to their bedroom for round two of the morning activities. I hadn't realized the omnipresence kneeling beside me was holding my hand. Angel's perfume permeated my nasal passages and seeped into my pores. Her smell was intoxicating. I blinked back to reality just as she whispered into my ear. "That turned you on, didn't it Jack?" I shivered and nodded with my eyes. She was caressing my groin. "You know, I could help out with this. I mean... properly help out." Her voice sounded of silk. It actually took a moment to register what she was really saying. "Angel, I'd love to... have you help out, but I can't cheat on Jill. She's my wife and it wouldn't be right." I could see the disbelief, so I continued. "Honey I condoned their relationship. I wasn't around for nearly six years; what else could my wife do? She loves me, and I love her and I'm not going to be unfaithful to her. I feel guilty every time you touch me, but I consider that as therapy..." Well... that was my lie to myself anyway. Angel glanced up at the ceiling. Yes I too heard the muffled cry of my wife in the throes of ecstasy. Big brown eyes glazed over as she stared at me. "What if we ask her permission?" Her voice was almost inaudible. I stroked her beautiful cheek. What if we asked permission? It was a good question. I could just imagine the moment. 'Um... Jill, honey, would it be okay if I... you know, I did the dance with Kathy. It would just be the once or maybe just occasionally...' She would stand there looking cross and disappointed with me... arms folded and brow furrowed. 'Are you kidding me, you want to screw that little slut? She's just a ... a nobody! A druggy! Alright, I admit she's cute, and funny but... Anyway, you don't even function and even if you did, I could allow you the occasional mercy hand job... but I'd have to ask Carl first.' Okay, maybe my brain was spinning a bit. Had I forgotten to tell her that Angel had got me working again? "I could ask her Angel, but why would you even consider making love to me? I'm useless and broken. You need to find a nice young buff man and..." I stopped mid-sentence, realizing she was crying soft wet tears. "I... don't... want... anyone else..." Each word interspersed by sobs. "I... I love you..." Oh shit, the 'L' word. It shouldn't have surprised me because I saw it in her eyes, and in her actions every single day. "I've loved you for years..." That revelation was followed by a wail and her pretty head fell heavily into my lap. "You saved me..." I caressed the mass of thick black curls and tried to sooth her. At least she had the guts to admit the truth... unlike me, the gutless boy wonder. How could this perfect creature love an ideal, for surely that's what she'd clung to for all those years that I was locked away? I actually heaved a sob when I realized that it was exactly that ideology and love, that belief in me that had allowed me to come back... to live again. This girl was special... this girl owned me. I hadn't saved her, she'd save me! We cried together as the cries of ecstasy from the upstairs bedroom framed our reality. **** CHAPTER 8. JILL. So thing's back then had snowballed out of control. I was banging Carl three and four times a week, or was that Carl banging me? Anyway we were out of control. I kept convincing myself it was just sex, but what did I know? What I did know was that I loved my husband. Jack was a kind and considerate man, capable of intelligent interaction and companionship. Of course his money and the quality of life he provided was cool, but I truly loved him! So why was I sleeping with his best friend? That terminology was a laugh! We rarely slept! Guilt should have consumed me, but strangely it did not. I knew Jack got off watching me flirt and swoon over Carl and other men if the circumstances permitted, so I justified my intimacy as an extension to Jack's fantasy. We should have just been upfront about it, but both of us (Carl and I) considered it too soon, and how the hell did I confess the transgressions of my wedding night!!? So ultimately the mix of guilt and apprehension delayed the inevitable. When I convinced Jack that Carl was the ideal person to employ to construct the pool shed and outdoor entertainment area he quickly agreed to the proposal not realizing the consequences. As soon as Carl arrived to start work we were at it! I don't think there's one place in the house were we didn't do it. I smile at the memory of lying naked and prostrate on the kitchen table, legs held back as Carl lazily took me whilst studying a plan of the pool shed spread over my chest and conveniently propped up by my substantial 'assets'. The smooth bastard even prompted me to answer questions concerning the cladding as I moaned and wailed in orgasm. I remember one particularly hard day when he took me to Eden seven times! Okay, so I was my own worst enemy and I guess swimming in the pool naked while he hammered away nearby wearing just a pair of khaki shorts wasn't really fair, but needless to say his hammering soon took on a whole different perspective!