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Catwomen Caught

By: javmor79



This story is not completed. It is a flash story that does not have a real ending. The reason for this is it's based on something that actually happened this past Halloween. This story is not finished in real life, so I left the ending open to allow the real situation to play out. I may choose to revisit this in the future. 

********************** 

The Halloween party was already in full swing when my wife and I arrived. It was hard to tear myself away from her toned body that was well displayed by her skintight, jet-black Catwoman costume (complete with whip!). I swear to God, even Michelle Phieffer wasn't as sexy as Catwoman. Even after two kids, who were with my parents for the weekend, Alicia was really hot. I must admit that I sometimes forget how attractive she really is. 

I was dressed as a pirate. Original, sexy, imaginative? Of course not. However, it was easy. 

Alicia gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and went to mingle with the other guests. I made my way to the drinks where several of my buddies were engaged in a very loud debate. It seemed heated and intense. Once I was within earshot, I understood why tensions were so high. It was one of those debates that challenges your intellect; make you think outside of the box. 

Who would win? The Hulk or Superman? 

I had to shake my head at the pointlessness of such a debate. You would think that a room full of grown, intelligent men would find topics to talk about that were not so asinine. 

Everyone knows that the last son of Krypton is the obvious choice. Why was this even a discussion? 

Anyway, I decided to participate in this monumental discussion by offering my expert opinion that I'd gathered scientifically through extensive research done as a kid. It involved looking googly eyed at Marvel's and DC's comic books for hours on end. Since my knowledge was clearly superior to anybody else's, I was sure that my input would end the discussion once and for all. Surprisingly, the others involved didn't see my arguments as absolute. I only succeeded in making the conversation louder. 

But that's what happens when you mix grown (which is not necessarily the same thing as grownup) men with beer. You get a bunch of adolescents who burp, fart, and sometimes wrestle. You would think that a room full of scantily clothed nurses, Catwomen, and various animals (basically, tight leotards on their bodies and ears on their heads) would draw our attention to baser thoughts. 

We all had to finally agree to disagree and table the discussion (even though I was right). There was too much beer and too much fun to be had. I planned to stay relatively sober since I knew that Alicia wasn't going to be driving us home. We'd just got here and I saw that she was already having a VERY good time. 

She was sitting on the couch next to her best friend, Susie. Susie was also dressed as Catwoman, though she took on the Halle Berry version. And yes, she did her costume as much justice as Alicia. 

Alicia and Susie have been inseparable since junior high. Growing up they lived on the same block. They are so similar that the only way they can coexist in the same place and time is either as best friends or as savage enemies. They talked alike, dressed alike, did most of the same things, and they even looked alike. Both sets of parents are "Mom and Dad" to them. The running joke when they were teenagers was that one of their moms had a set of twins and gave the spare baby to the other family. The only mystery was finding out who was the real mother. 

They both hated that joke, by the way. 

Susie was married to a guy named Dominic. They got married two years before Alicia and me. We'd been married for 6 years at this point. 

You would think that because the two girls were similar in so many ways, that they would marry the same type of guy. Wrong. Susie's husband is my complete opposite. I am a clean cut person who doesn't do much physical labor at work; Dominic works with his hands all day. 

I am the district manager of six local restaurants that my company owns. While I may not be a suit and tie kind of guy, I am usually - at worst - business casual. 

In case your wondering, I am not "nerdy" or "geeky". I played baseball in high school, and also got into boxing when I was in college. My boxing activities were more of a hobby than a career though. But it kept me in shape. 

I will admit that after I got married and settled into family life, my time at the gym dropped off a bit. Or a lot. But I wasn't overweight and out of shape. 

Dominic, on the other hand, works for a local factory. I am not sure what his official title is, but I know that it involves lifting heavy "things" (whatever he lifts) numerous times a day for 8 - 10 hours. Not to mention he practically lives at the gym. As you can imagine, he is very fit. While my hair stays cut short and neat, his hair is long and kept in a ponytail. His beard completes his look of Aztec warrior/Brawny man. Dominic is like Drogo from "Game of Thrones", while I am more like Don Draper from Mad Men (Really, I am). 

I never really warmed up to him. I didn't dislike him, per se, but we really didn't have a connection that would make us close friends. Or any type of friends. To me he was Susie's husband. Since Susie was my wife's best friend, I saw him occasionally. I never sought him out in any other context, nor had a desire to. I'm certain that he felt the same about me. 

This night he was dressed as Tarzan, of course. Typical. Who does that? It was like 50 degrees outside, and he showed up to a party wearing a loincloth. I call that Douche Baggism. Defined: acts that can be construed as or pertaining to being a douche bag. Straight out of Webster's. Honest. 

Anyway, Tarzan was hanging out with the women, like he always does at parties like this. He was very flirtatious and often bordered on being inappropriate. None of the women seemed to mind though. His thinly veiled sexual innuendos often had them giggling and blushing rather than slapping him. 

Even Alicia. That really burned me up. 

One would assume that Susie would find this behavior embarrassing. I know that Alicia would if it were me. However, Susie just laughed along with them. She sometimes gave him a playful slap on the shoulder and said, "Dominic, stop it!" but she never really admonished him, or even looked at him crossly. She almost looked proud that women lusted for her husband. 

Tonight, Dominic was in full form. He'd consumed enough alcohol to lower his already marginal inhibitions, so his flirting was all out groping. Single women, married women, it didn't matter. Breasts were grabbed, asses were rubbed, and crotches were ground into. I saw several husbands getting angry when their wives were the subject of such attention, but nobody acted on it. Maybe they were afraid of him. Maybe they were drunk. Maybe they just didn't want to make scene. I don't know. Nevertheless, I kept an eye out when he was in the vicinity of Alicia. One act of Douche Baggism towards my wife and we were out of here. 

Alicia must have sensed my trepidation, because she made her way over to me. 

"Having fun, Greg?" she asked me over the music. I nodded my head and took a sip of beer. I watched her sway her body to the music as she stood next to me. I noticed that her eyes wandered over to Tarzan. Without realizing it, she gave a silent appraisal of his body. I sensed something I wished I had not. Lust. 

I admit it. I got jealous. 

"What kind of idiot dresses up like Tarzan when it's cold outside?" 

Alicia snapped out of her trance and turned to me. 

"You know Dominic, honey. He always has to be the center of attention." 

I scoffed and took another sip of my beer. It had suddenly lost its taste. Alicia noticed my sour mood change. 

"Honey, don't tell me you're jealous." 

"Why would I be jealous of him? I don't feel the need to leave the house naked to attract women." 

Alicia laughed dismissively. "Of course not honey." She said as her attention was once again directed at Douche. 

As the evening wore on, even more alcohol was consumed. This made people more outrageous. After a while, Dominic and his loincloth faded into the background as I hung out with my actual friends. At some time during the night, Dominic had started to cozy up to Alicia. I didn't even notice until I went to find her because I hadn't seen her in a while. 

I found her of them in the kitchen - with Dominic! They were standing close and talking in hushed tones. This was a little too intimate for my taste, and my jealousy instantly reared its head. 

Dominic saw me first, and I saw him step back to a respectable distance. Alicia must have sensed the change in climate, because she turned and saw me too. She tried to smile warmly at me, but it seemed forced. 

"Hey Hun. I was just looking for you." she said quickly. Too quickly. 

"Really Alicia? I've been in the same place all night." My tone sounded accusatory even though I tried to hide it. She visibly flinched. 

Dominic made a quick, quiet exit and left us there alone. 

"Are you mad at me honey?" She asked, her voice dripping with innocence. 

"What were the two of you talking about? I find you huddled in this corner with him whispering like two teenage girls who have a secret. What the fuck is going on?" 

"Hun, stop it. Nothing is going on between Dominic and me. He was just being flirtatious like his always is. Nothing to get your panties in a bunch about." 

"My panties in a bunch? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" 

A smirk played across her face, but it died quickly. It was replaced with a look of empathy and concern. 

"I'm just a little drunk honey. Don't mind me." 

With that, she patted my cheek and walked out. 

For the rest of the night Dominic and Alicia weren't seen together. Believe me, I watched. Like a hawk. In fact, it was almost as if they were actively avoiding each other. I did see them exchange cryptic glances, but that was it. 

That was enough. More than enough to get my Spidey Senses tingling. I was beginning to feel uneasy. Very uneasy. 

I had to take a break from my stake out. The beer was starting to take effect and I had to go relieve the pressure or piss my pants. So I made my way upstairs and did my business. 

When I came out of the bathroom, I ran right into Dominic. It was as if he followed me up here and waited for me. 

"Do you have a problem with me, Greg?" he said, slurring his words. His eyes looked menacingly into mines, as if he were trying to intimidate me. 

"What?" I asked. This moment seemed surreal to me. In fact, something about this entire night was a bit off. 

"I asked if you have a problem with me. You're always looking down on me. You, with your fancy car and fancy house. Always waving your money around. You think you're better than me?" 

If this conversation isn't making sense to you, you aren't alone. I had no idea where this shit was coming from. 

"You're drunk Dominic. Go home before you say something you'll regret." I said as I pushed my way past him. 

"Say something like what? Something like how sweet it is to fuck that pretty wife of yours." 

Now he had my attention. Undivided. I turned around and walked up to him until we were millimeters from each other. 

"Watch it fuck tard. Don't let button up shirts fool you. I will fuck you up. Leave my wife out of whatever sick fantasy you have." 

He looked at me and smirked. 

"Fantasies are for things that haven't happened, you moron. I have MEMORIES." The last word came out like a punctuation. And it was. It completely ended this discussion. His words sunk in. 

"You're full of shit, asshole." I said, though I wasn't as sure as I would have been before this party. 

"Am I lying about the birth mark on her thigh? Or about the fact that she isn't a real blonde. Of course you can't tell that now since she shaved her pus..." 

That was the last thing he said. The only other sounds that were heard was the sickening bone-on-bone thud that a fist makes when it solidly connects with a jaw, followed by the sound of 195 pounds crashing through drywall. 

I descended the stairs like a raging bull. Once I was at the bottom, I found Alicia. She rushing over to me. 

"Greg what..." 

Her question froze in her mouth. One look at me and she knew that I knew. Her wide eyes brimming with tears confirmed everything that Dominic said. 

"Oh my God! Someone call 911. Dominic is out cold. I can't wake him up!" I heard from upstairs. Didn't know who it was. Didn't care. I just stood there, staring at Alicia as if I had never known her. Maybe I hadn't. 

People began to rush up the stairs to see what was going on. I just stood there, staring at Alicia and searching for the wife that I married. Honestly, at that point I didn't care if Dominic were dead or not. 

"What the fuck did you do to my husband?!" I heard a shriek come from behind me, followed by little fists pummeling the back of my head. I ducked to get away from Susie who was frantically swinging at me. Someone grabbed her and pulled her back. 

"Greg, what the hell?" My friend Richard asked. He was the one hosting the party. The wall that now had a Dominic sized hole was his. 

I completely ignored him and turned to Susie. 

"Did you know that your husband was fucking Alicia?" 

Susie instantly calmed down and stopped trying to attack me. She looked at me as if this explained everything. But she didn't get angry. She didn't call me a liar. Most importantly, she didn't look at Alicia. She just looked at me as if she understood. 

And now, so did I. 

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Greg, we need to talk. But not here." 

I turned around and shot Alicia the coldest look I could muster. At that moment, fury welled up in me like I had never felt. Blinding, white-hot rage. It was so intense that tears started to flow out of my eyes. I wasn't really crying though. It was as if the tears were a sort of release valve to keep me from exploding. 

"He's awake!" I heard from upstairs. Susie left Alicia and me and flew up the stairs to soothe her fallen jungle boy. 

My anger started to quell. The grim reality of things abruptly came into focus. 

What if I had killed Dominic, even by mistake? One moment of anger could have doomed me to a lifetime of repercussions. I already could be facing assault charges. My career that I had worked so hard to build, all could be gone because I lost it over a drunken idiot. 

A drunken idiot who fucked my wife! 

"Greg, come on sweetie. Let's get out of here. We need to talk." 

"We? No Alicia. YOU are going home with your boyfriend and his wife. I am getting out of here." I pushed past her and made my way to the front door. Alicia desperately ran behind me and grabbed me. 

"Greg! You are not leaving me here! WE are going home and WE are going to talk! Do you hear me GODDAMIT? You are not going to put me on the backburner anymore!" 

Her face was streaked with tears. She was a mixture of pissed off and incredibly sad, if that makes any sense. I have no idea what the fuck she had to be mad at. 

"I can't deal with you Alicia. DO NOT come home. I could already be going to jail for assault. I don't want to add domestic violence to it." 

"FUCK YOU GREG! FUCK YOU! You wanna hit me? DO IT CHICKEN SHIT! At least you won't be ignoring me! Hell, it will be the first time you touched me weeks!" 

She poked me in my chest as she spoke. Her anger was rising rapidly, and I had no idea why. She was the one who was the cheating slut here. The only one with a right to be angry was me. 

"That's your reason? Because I don't come home and paw you every single night? That's your fucking excuse? That's your bullshit reason for fucking that asswipe?" 

She didn't answer me in words. Her defiant look spoke for her. 

"For your information Alicia, I work for a living. I don't have a husband to pay my bills for me. Maybe if you got a fucking job you would know how it feels to come home tired!" I spat at her. It was then that I was reminded that we had an audience. And believe me, they were captivated. The only thing missing was a bucket of popcorn in their hands. 

Alicia actually sneered at me. "Poor Greg. He's too tired to make love to his wife. Yet he finds time to sit in front of his computer and jerk off to porn EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Maybe if you stopped looking up plastic Barbie dolls on the internet and payed more attention to your wife, she wouldn't have to go crying to her best friend about the husband who isn't interested in her anymore!" 

By now, Alicia was practically screaming at the top of her lungs. Her fists were balled up at her sides as her tear streaked face displayed her pain and anger. 

For me, that was the final blow. I could not have been humiliated any more than I was at that moment. I didn't have a clever comeback, or any type of retaliation. I tried to say something in response, but nothing came out. 

All around me, my friends and neighbors looked at me. Their faces did nothing to hide what they were feeling watching this exchange. Shock. Disgust. Sympathy. Amusement? 

I could do nothing but turn on my heels and disappear into the night. Alicia's wail of despair followed me until I started my engine and drove off. 

******************** 

NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR-- 

This story is based on true events. In case you are wondering. I am not Greg. In this story, I am Richard (the guy who threw the Halloween party). Yes, I am the owner of the "Dominic" sized hole next to my daughter's room. 

I used the point of view from the protagonist because I felt that this would make the audience feel the anger and the humiliation that Greg endured. I had to put myself in his place as I wrote this. 

My wife and I could not help but to talk about this. In fact, it has been a subject in our house since. I know that it is wrong to be so enthralled with a situation like this, but it is like a train wreck. We can't help but to wonder about the things that we don't know. 



Catwomen Caught Ch. 02: After the Party



Thanks to all for reading. I know that the reason why the first tale was so popular was because most people believed, or at least gave me the benefit of the doubt, that it was true. Some didn't believe it, but were still entertained by it. I want to thank you all. 

This continuation was hard for me in comparison to the first part. The first chapter was very easy because I just simply used real events to fuel the story. This one is not based on reality. There are parts of it that are true, but most of it is my interpretation of what could happen given the circumstance. I won't tell you which parts are true and which parts are fantasy. Only my editor and I know which is which. I will leave you to wonder. Or not wonder. 

I also want to publically apologize to "Greg" for the first chapter. It was done without his permission, or without thought to how it would make him feel. I didn't think anyone we know would read it. I don't think anyone we know has, but the possibility is still there. I showed him the first chapter, endured his anger, but actually got his permission for this part. 

I hope you enjoy. 

***** 

"Mr. Kirkson, you have a...call on line one." 

"Who is it Betty?" 

"A Mister Ford returning your call sir." 

Greg? Greg was calling me? I'd been trying to get in contact with him ever since the blowup at my Halloween party. So far, he, his wife, and the other two paramours were incognito. No one had heard a peep from them. 

Of course, there were questions. So many questions. I mean, how could there not be? The melt down was so public and humiliating. So brutal. It had all of the elements that you would want to see in the best drama. Sex, violence, betrayal, and an epic showdown between David and Goliath. Only this time, Goliath had a glass jaw that wrote a drunken check that was way too expensive for him, and David cashed it. With interest. 

"Put him through Betty." 

"Uh sir, he sounds a little...upset." 

Well duh. His wife did publicly emasculate him. If he wasn't upset I'd be a little worried. 

"Thank you Betty. I'll deal with him" 

I waited for the click to indicate that I was on the line with Greg. 

"Greg? Hey buddy. I've been trying to call you since..." I hesitated to actually say the words. 

"Since I found out my wife fucked that dipshit. Yeah, I've had a lot to think about." I heard the anger still simmering beneath his calm demeanor. Even over the phone, his emotions radiated through. 

"So, you wanna talk?" 

I heard him scoff on the other end. It was like a snort. 

"Why do you wanna talk to me Richard? Huh, good buddy? So you can post it on the internet? Does your riveting tale need a sequel? Do inquiring minds want to know what happened next to the chump who couldn't keep his wife satisfied? Can't your loyal fans wait to find out how my fucking life plays out?" 

Fuck. Okay. He read the story. Now he's not only pissed at his cheating wife, her treacherous best friend and her Neanderthal lover, but me too. Great. 

Greg and I go back to high school. He played baseball; I played football. We still connected with each other and formed a friendship that has lasted over the years. When we graduated we lost touch with each other for a while. He went straight to college and I joined the Air Force. Once he graduated he came back to our hometown, and got a job as a manager for Olive Garden. Sounds like a waste of a college degree, right? I told him so. However, he was tenacious. Driven. He was soon promoted. He excelled at whatever job he was assigned. His numbers always looked good. He had an excellent business mind. Pretty soon, he was district manager in charge of a multiple restaurants. His paycheck now rivaled mine. Well, almost. 

I was honorably discharged from the Air Force after 10 years. Immediately, I got a job with a company that has contracts with the military. No need to go into detail about it. Really. I wouldn't have to kill you if I told you (cliché, I know) but I would be violating some serious classification protocols. And I'd get in trouble for it if I did. We aren't all Hillary Clinton, you know. Hope you understand. 

To make a long story short, I returned to my hometown, got back in touch with Greg, and our friendship resumed as if there had never been a pause. 

Now, my good friend was pissed. At me. Not good. 

"Greg..." 

Normally, I would try a clever joke to balm the situation over, or at least loosen the tension. Unfortunately for me, it was pretty obvious that would actually turn out to be counterproductive in this situation. 

"I especially like the ending." He interrupted me. All I could do was shut the fuck up and let him get it out. "You know, where I tucked my tail between my legs and ran out of there like a bitch. Real nice touch." 

His sarcasm oozed through my earpiece. At that moment, I really felt like a shitty friend. I had no defense against this. 

"Greg, where are you? We should talk." 

"You know what's funny Richard? I've become really popular these days. Much more popular than I was before. It seems like EVERYBODY wants to talk to me. Must be my charming personality." 

It was then that I noticed that his voice was slurred. I heard the sounds of liquid being turned up and bouncing against the glass walls of a bottle. 

"Greg, are you drunk?" 

He laughed sardonically. "No Richard. I was drunk an hour ago. I can't tell you what I am now." 

Okay. I had been a shitty friend. I admit that. Now it was time for me to fix it. 

"Where are you Greg?" Even as I asked that question I was putting on my coat and grabbing my keys. I had a ton to do at work, but that didn't matter at the moment. 

"Fuck you Richard! I'm not telling you where I am. Don't you come to this bar looking for me. I will fuck you up if you do!" The line went dead. 

It didn't matter though. I knew exactly where he was. There were only a few bars in our town that were worth going to. Greg had his favorite. Moe's. It was partly because he had a crush on the pretty bartender there. She was one of those women who could flirt with you, but at the same time give off a vibe that she is totally unavailable. Didn't stop her popularity though. She was still very good eye candy. 

When I walked in, it almost broke my heart to see him sitting at the bar all alone. He was the only customer there. A glance at my watch told me it was a little after noon. Karen (hot bartender) waved me over when she saw me walk in. I could see the empathy in her eyes as they locked in on mine. 

"This handsome stud belong to you?" She joked, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. I nodded softly and nudged my head to the side, indicating that I needed her to make herself scarce and give us a moment. 

"Greg..." 

That was all I got out. His fist slammed into me and I saw stars. God damn! No wonder Dominic went down so hard! Before I realized it, I was on the floor wiping blood from my lip. He stood over me, glowering at me. Finally, he shook his head and took his seat back at the bar. 

I picked myself up off the floor and waved my hand at Karen, who had been cleaning tables before Greg clocked me. Now she stood staring at us with eyes as big as saucers. She started to approach before I waved and nodded, silently letting her know that everything was okay. She nodded in return and went back to cleaning tables. 

"Now that you got that out of your system, can we talk?" I asked as I bravely took the seat next to him. He took another sip of his beer and shook his head. 

"Off the record?" he asked sarcastically. I laughed to myself. At least he still had his wit. That is a good sign. I guess. It's something, anyway. 

"Where are you staying?" 

"My folk's." He said with distain. 

"You and your mom getting along?" 

"You have met my mom, right?" 

"Yeah, I have. I still remember her patting me down to ensure that I didn't bring any drugs into her house." 

He laughed and took another sip. "Good thing I was holding the weed." He smiled. It was a wistful smile, but a smile nonetheless. 

We shared a laugh at that. Greg took another sip and then looked me in the eyes. 

"For fucks sake Richard! It was humiliating enough going through that shit. Then to read about it. To know that all of my friends are going to know it was me!" 

"Greg, I just wrote it to write it. I certainly didn't want to humiliate you. Besides, nobody will know it's you." I said, trying to convince myself as much as Greg. 

"Two Catwomen, a Tarzan, and a pirate. Not to mention the pirate throwing Tarzan through a wall. How many fucking Halloween parties do you think that happened at?" 

"Most of the good ones." 

Greg looked like he wanted to hit me again. 

"You think this is funny?" 

Okay, humor definitely wasn't going to work. Sometimes, I can't help myself. 

"You're right Greg. I was an asshole. I am truly sorry for embarrassing you." 

"Well, I'm not sorry for punching you." 

I rubbed my jaw and laughed. 

"You hit like a bitch anyway. No wonder you always got your ass handed to you when you boxed." 

That broke the ice, and then he continued to thaw. I was able to get him away from Moe's and into my car. Karen gave me a grateful look and hugged me when we were leaving. 

"Take care of him, Richard. He's going through a lot." 

My jaw was throbbing and starting to swell, but I had reached Greg, which was what I cared about most. The moment he was strapped into my passenger seat, he was out cold. Like he hadn't slept in days. 

Instead of taking him to his mom's house, I took him to mine. On the way, I called another friend, John. 

"What up Richy Rich?" He cheerily said when he picked up. John was one of those guys who still thinks he is in his twenties. Great guy, though very immature. I emphasize "very" since most guys are at least a little immature. He is the one who started the whole "Hulk vs Superman" debate. He is always the life of the party. None of the wives really want their husbands to hang around him though. He had a habit of getting his friends to behave like adolescent troublemakers. We all love him. 

"John, I need your help. I found Greg at Moe's. I may need your help getting him in my house and into bed. He's dead to the world." 

"Damn. I'm glad you found him. I've been looking for him all week. After what that bitch did to him, it's a wonder he hasn't put a bullet in his head." 

John pulled his Mustang behind my Tahoe in my driveway, and we began the task lifting 200 pounds of dead weight, and getting it onto the couch in the finished basement of my house. Not an easy task. 

We talked for a bit and he left after I promised to let him know what was going on. Since I was home early, I had the quiet house to all to myself. Trust me, this was rare. So rare, that I found that I had nothing to do. 

I didn't want to leave the house in case Greg woke up. I didn't want him to be confused as to where he was. So I grilled a steak on my George Foreman Grill (best invention since the microwave) and baked a potato. Then I looked through my cable sports package to see if I could catch any good games on, or at least interesting debates about good games. I finally settled on a documentary about the rise and fall of Allen Iverson and munched my gourmet meal. 

Before long, my wife Nikki was walking through the door with our kids in tow. 

"Honey, what are you doing home so early?" She asked as she kissed me on the cheek. The kids ran upstairs. 

"I found Greg at Moe's. Drunk off his ass. I brought him here and put him down in the basement." 

Her face immediately registered hesitation. "You sure that's a good idea? I don't want any drunken displays in front of the kids." 

"He'll be fine hun. I'll make sure he stays inline." 

She patted my cheek and I flinched. That was when she noticed how swollen it was. 

"Richard, what the f...! Did HE do that?" 

"I'm fine sweetie." 

"Forget that Rich! Get him out of here!" 

"Honey, it's fine. The man just found out that his wife was cheating on him not even a couple of weeks ago. It happened so publicly that anybody would be embarrassed. He's mad. Plus, he's been going through it alone.. I'm his friend. He had a lot of built up anger and I don't care if he took some of it out on me. Besides, my jaw isn't made of glass. Unlike Tarzan. He really should think about wearing a different costume next year." 

Nikki had to laugh at that. "Seeing Tarzan getting his ass handed to him by a pirate was rather funny. I don't think Jane would have been too turned on by that." 

"Yeah. Tarzan definitely wouldn't have gotten any ass from that less than manly display. Dominic should spend less time pumping iron and more time hitting the bags." 

Nikki laughed. "Or at least learn to duck." 

We shared a laugh as she calmed down. One thing about Nikki that I have always adored was her personality and her sense of humor. It is one of the reasons why I can't stay angry at her for too long. 

I went down to check on Greg. His thunderous snoring let me know that he was still very much alive in the sense that his heart was still beating, but for all intents and purposes he remained functionally comatose. I propped a pillow under his head as he let out a fart that would have awakened the dead. Then the fumes would have killed them all over again. 

"What the fuck Greg?" I mumbled as I fanned my face. The smell seemed to cling on to me. I had to get out of the there. 

Hours later, a zombie that resembled my friend emerged from the bowels of hell. His bloodshot eyes screamed of death and decay as he shuffled his feet through my kitchen. Nikki took one look at him, and then shot me a silent warning that spoke volumes. 

Keep him in line or he's gone! 

I got up and walked into the kitchen to greet him. 

"How you feeling buddy?" 

"Like my wife cheated on me, humiliated me in front of all of our neighbors, and then ran me over with truck." 

"At least your memory is intact. Two out of three isn't bad." 

His eyes narrowed. "My memory is fine. I remember your fucking story too." 

"You remember punching me in the face for it?" I asked as I rubbed my tender jaw. 

"That part seems hazy. May have to do it again just to be sure it gets done." His words didn't have any real bite to them, despite his stated desire to hit me again. I knew that he wouldn't. 

"I said this before, but I'm really sorry about the story Greg. I really didn't think a lot of people would see where it was published, and I didn't think about how it would make you feel if they did. I was wrong." 

"People did read it. I even got a text from a guy I know who had heard about the party from a somebody. He then read your story online." 

"Who was this guy?" 

"You don't know him. He's an obnoxious blowhard named Harry. He lives in Virginia." 

I laughed aloud. "You know HarryinVa?" 

"So you have heard of him? Good guy once you get past his attitude. By the way, he took my side and thinks you're an asshole too." He smiled as he said this. 

"Yeah, well, I'm sure he thought that before he read the story I wrote about you." 

Greg nodded and snickered. I slapped him on the back in a friendly gesture. He didn't indicate that it was unwanted, so I knew that we were cool. 

"Richard, why did you have to make me look like such a wimp? Did I really just tuck and run? 

"A wimp? Greg, you Mike Tysoned the guy with one punch! I was afraid you were going to bite his ear off! If you boxed like that in college, you wouldn't have lost so much! No one thinks you're a wimp." 

"Fuck you! It was a hobby. I didn't lose, asshole." He smirked and shook his head. "I did knock his ass out, didn't I?" He added humorously. His voice was a mixture of pride and laughter. 

"Hell yeah." 

"I'll bet your candy ass couldn't do that." He said as he nudged me playfully. 

"No. It would have probably taken me two punches." 

He couldn't help but to laugh. He laughed despite himself. It was good to see. 

"Rich, what happened after I left. I kept looking over my shoulder for a while expecting to be hauled off to jail." 

"Well Greg, after you left..." 

*********************** 

October 31st - After the party 

Alicia wailed with the despair of someone getting executed as she crumpled to the floor. Loud sobs emanated from her slender body. Seeing Catwoman in a heap on the floor, broken, was a surreal sight. 

Nikki ran over to her and helped her up. She guided Alicia to the couch and sat with her. 

Catwoman number two, Susie, slowly descended the stairs with the disgraced Tarzan. He was holding his head as his wife had her arms around him, guiding him to the bottom. 

Alicia saw them and became enraged. She launched herself off of the couch and practically flew over to them. 

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO GREG? YOU RUINED MY LIFE! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" 

Tarzan, who already got his ass handed to him by a pirate, was now dodging the claws of Catwoman. Catwoman number two was trying to step between them. 

"Alicia, stop it! Stop it!" Susie said as she protectively guarded her husband. 

Tarzan, being saved by a woman from a woman, just added more fire to his punk ass fodder. Could this douche bag disgrace the jungle man any more? 

"YOU HAD TO SAY SOMETHING, DIDN'T YOU? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU COULDN'T JUST TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" 

Jungle man quietly looked at Alicia's rage. From the look on his face, I could tell that he was remorseful. Getting knocked out must have sobered him up. He fully recognized that he was the source of tonight's pain. 

"Alicia, I'm sorry. I was drunk." 

She stopped trying to attack him and crumpled to the floor once more. 

"What am I going to do now, Susie? What am I going to do?" 

******************** 

Back to the Present - Richard's Kitchen 

"After that they had to haul Dominic to the emergency room. Turns out he had a concussion. He wanted to press charges, but Susie and Alicia talked him out of it. Alicia begged him not to. She knew that if you were arrested, there was very little hope of getting you back." 

Greg scoffed and shook his head. "There isn't much hope for that anyway." 

I sadly nodded my head. "So Greg, what happened to you after you left? The only thing we heard was rubber hitting the road and the roar of your engine. I wanted to chase after you, but I my Tahoe was boxed in. I was worried that you were gonna get into an accident. You weren't answering any of our calls." 

"Yeah, well, I had to get out of there and think. Ya know? I couldn't deal with...that. All of our friends just looking at me. Judging me. I needed space." 

"So you went to your mom's house? Must of have been pretty awful for you to make you go back there." 

"Yeah. Well, life sometimes throws a curve at you. The only way to deal with it is to do something you wouldn't do any other time." 

************************ 

GREG NARRATING 

October 31st - After the party 

Shit! Shit! Shit! 

THAT FUCKING BITCH! FUCK THOSE BITCHES!! 

I drove maniacally through side streets that led out of the neighborhood. I honestly had no idea where I was going. Stop signs, speed limit markers, traffic lights - none of that made a difference. I drove as if I were the only one on the road who mattered. 

What was that sound? I turned my head and looked over to the passenger seat. That is when I recognized it as the custom ringtone that plays when Alicia calls. Her beautiful face lit my Android screen up. She smiled at me. A loving smile, frozen in time. I remember taking that picture. So happy. So full of affection and adoration. 

A fucking lie! 

I had to fight the urge to jettison the evil device out of the window. Her picture on the screen lied to me. If I answered it, the voice on the other end would lie to me. The happy singsong ringtone that announced her intentions to get in touch with me...liar! 




Catwomen Caught Ch. 02: After the Party



Lies! Lies! Lies! 

Here is some truth. She fucked a Dominic. She let him stick his dick into her vagina. She opened her legs, invited him into her sacred place, and made him cum. 

She probably kissed him. A wet, passionate kiss that communicates arousal and lust. She probably put his dick in her mouth and accepted him into her throat as she coated his shaft with her saliva. 

Slurp. Slurp. 

I'll bet that fucker enjoyed that; getting sucked by another man's wife. He probably flipped her around and pushed her head into the pillow, jutting her ass obscenely in the air to await his invasion. 

My ass. My mouth. My wife. 

What right did he have? I am the one who sat with her when she was sick. I was the one in the delivery room with her, TWICE, holding her hand and wiping her sweat. I was the one who promised to love her IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. I was the one who pledged my life to her. What did he do? Whip his dick out and say, "Me Tarzan, you Alicia. Suck, Bitch." 

The insistent ringtone continued to torture me with its lies. It would pause for a minute, only to start again. I turned it off and snatched the battery out. 

Silence. No more lies. 

I drove aimlessly around for what seemed like an endless amount of time. My body must have been on autopilot because my mind had checked out to save itself from overload. The streaming video of tonight's events - and worse the events that I imagined happened between my wife and the jungle asshole - were overclocking my CPU. It wasn't until I looked up and saw my parent's garage in front of me that reality kicked in. I didn't remember driving here. Apparently, my subconscious took me back to the place of my childhood. I cut the engine and made my way inside. 

Every kid has a key to his parent's house, even if he vowed to never go back there again. Well, maybe not every kid. But I did. 

Since it was late (or early in the morning, depending on your perception) the living room that I'd grown up in was dark. Nothing had really changed over the decades. The couch, the coffee table, the lamp, all of the contents were the EXACT same furniture that I remembered, frozen in the EXACT same spot. I could honestly navigate my way around with my eyes closed. 

Strangely, I found some comfort in that. This night had changed everything for me, in a moment. I had always been skeptical when people told stories where their whole world changed in an instant (other than a tragic event, of course). This night made me a believer. Everything that I had known about my life turned upside down in one drunken conversation with a Neanderthal. Being back in familiar surroundings that I had grown up with felt...stable. After an earthquake that crumbles buildings and leaves the ground split open, the thing that people want most is for everything to be still. Stability was really what I needed at this moment. 

For now, I was home. Safe. 

"Hello? Who's there?" I heard my mom call out. I pictured her crouched in the corner with a baseball bat, ready to bat out some RBI's. Really bad injuries. 

"It's me ma." 

"Gregory?" 

"Yeah." 

The lights switched on suddenly, overloading my vision for a moment. I had to squint to keep from going blind. 

"What in the devil's name are you skulking around in the dark for? You trying to kill me off by giving me a heart attack?" 

"Nice to see you too ma." 

When my eyes adjusted, I was welcomed with the sight of an old lady in flower print pajamas. Her hair was in rollers. If you are seeing a vision of "Mama's Family" then you are right on the money. 

"Why are you here so late? And why are you dressed like an idiot?" Straight to the point, my mother. 

Until that moment, I'd forgotten that I still had most of my pirate costume on. By now I'd lost the hat, the parrot, and the eye patch. So now I just looked like...well, an idiot. 

"Long story ma. Look, I'm gonna be staying here for a while. The kids will go home tomorrow, but I will be coming back. I'll tell you about it, but I don't wanna discuss it in front of the kids, okay?" 

You will notice that I didn't ask her to stay with her. I just let her know my intentions. It may seem a bit odd to most people, but not to us. My family isn't what you would call lovey dovey. My old man is a straight forward kind of guy. He never says any more than what is needed, and he expects the same in return. A hug consisted of a brief bump of the chest and a pat on the back. "I love you" was a term reserved for near death experiences. 

He and my mom made the perfect couple, because she was exactly the same way. She was very limited in the amount of affection that she showed to him. Or to me. How they ever navigated their way to each other's genitals to make me is a mystery that is puzzling, yet disturbing. I honestly think that there is no one else that could have dealt with either of them. They were destined to find each other, or suffer the world alone. 

"Fine Gregory. You know where everything is. I'm going back to bed." 

Her frail form disappeared around the corner and ascended the stairs before she yelled out, "And lock up!" 

+++ 

The next morning, I decided to activate the retched device and see the damage. Twenty-nine missed calls. Fifteen from Alicia. A few from Richard, and a few from others that were at the party. 

I didn't return any of the calls. No doubt it was full of people who wanted to pump the porn watching, wife neglecting asshole for information about his whereabouts. 

After a few hours of restless non-sleep, I was still hurt. I was still mad. I was confused. I admit I was curious about what the hell had happened, but my other emotions overwhelmed me. 

I was also wondering where the cops were at. I don't know what happened to Dominic after I left. Did he go to the hospital? Did he press charges? Was I going to jail? 

I rolled out of bed and slipped out of the house before my mom woke up. I wrote a note saying that I was going out, and that if Alicia called to tell her I would call her when I was ready. She was free to pick up the kids if she wanted. If not, I would bring them home later on. 

Luckily it was Sunday. I didn't have to be to work. It was a good thing, because I needed something liquid and potent. The pain of last night sat inside of my chest, and I needed something just as strong to drown it out. 

So I parked outside of my favorite bar and strolled in. 

+++ 

I hid out at my mom's house for the next couple of weeks. In this time, the only contact I had with Alicia was when I brought the kids home and picked up a few items. After a few stilted attempts at a conversation, she walked away frustrated. Before I left, I heard her talking on the phone. My ears perked as I listened for a few minutes. If she were on the phone with that asshole, I was going to lose it. Judging from her half of the conversation, it was Susie. 

Not sure if that was better, or worse. 

Between my parent's house and the bar I spent much of my free time. My dad was traveling on business, so it was just me and my mom. Oh joy. She really isn't one for deep, profound conversations. To her credit, she did listen, and was pretty supportive, but I don't think that she could really relate. Besides that, there was no way I was telling her about the porn. Especially after all of her warnings during my younger years about "going blind" and "hairy palms". 

During my time with my mom, we talked very little. I gave her a general idea of why I was staying with her. She listened intently, but didn't say much about the situation. She asked me what I was going to do about it. The only answer I could give her was a shrug and a "I dunno." 

"You'll figure it out." was her word of encouragement. Nothing else was said about it. 

Sounds kind of cold when I say it aloud. Surprisingly, it was comforting in a way. I didn't have to retell the turn of events over and over ad nauseam. She didn't require daily updates on my mind state or treat me like some fragile china doll that had to be coddled and protected. No time was spent trying to cheer me up. I was free to grieve on my own in my own way. 

I'd called in all of my sick days and personal days. I just couldn't face anyone. Even though no one at my job was at the party, we did live in a relatively small town. Word has a tendency to travel at "Flash" velocities. The speed of sound. The speed it took one gossiper to inform another. 

It wasn't just the cheating wife that I was dealing with. It was the way she destroyed me. Publically, in front of everyone. Full of venom and mirth. 

Poor Greg. He's too tired to make love to his wife. Yet he finds time to sit in front of his computer and jerk off to porn EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Maybe if you stopped looking up plastic Barbie dolls on the internet and payed more attention to your wife, she wouldn't have to go crying to her best friend about the husband who isn't interested in her anymore! 

How do you come back from that? 

I finally had to turn off my cell phone. The damn thing would suddenly start having shitfits. Out of nowhere it would ring and ring and ring. Various faces glowed, begging me to pick up. Fuck them all. 

Don't know if it were the universe looking out for me or simple male pride on Dominic's part, but the cops never showed. 

It was interesting to see how my friends behaved. They emailed and texted a lot. Even called. But they didn't come to my parents house. I concluded that when people don't know what to say, the just avoid the situation. They weren't bad friends, but they had no clue what was happening or how to help. So they did nothing. 

This was curse as much as it was a blessing. Because there were no distractions, I thought about it ALL OF THE TIME. The only way I could stop was to drown the horrible images running through my mind. So I drank at the bar. Karen became my goddess as well as my savior. 

The worst thing about staying with my mom was that I was exiled from my kids. It was an exile of my own doing, but it still sucked. I knew that seeing them meant seeing Alicia. It was like I knew there was a warm bed waiting for me, but I had to swim across a half frozen lake to get there. 

So I drank even more to forget that. 

It wasn't until Karen showed me a story written by my good friend that I broke the pattern. "Catwomen Caught" was the name. A story that bared a striking resemblance to my scenario. Two Catwomen. A pirate. Fucking Tarzan. Superman vs Hulk. 

JavMor, you mother fucker! 

I pulled out my cell, turned it on, and angrily punched in seven digits. 

"Good Morning. Mr. Kirkson's office. This is Betty. How may I help you today?" 

********************** 

RICHARD NARRATING 

Present Day - At Richard's house 

"So, what you gonna do about Alicia? Divorce? Separation? Beat the shit out of her?" 

Greg gave a small, sad laugh and looked at the plate in front of him. "Do I have to choose?" he joked half-heartedly. 

I saw the pain etched on his face. I could see his mind running through the events that happened on Halloween over and over. Listening to her words, as if they were on repeat. 

"Greg, I have to ask. You can tell me to go to hell if this is too personal, but about the...porn. What did she mean by that?" 

Greg's cheeks reddened and he shifted nervously in his seat. 

"So what? I watch porn. You telling me you don't?" He said defensively. 

"Of course I've looked at porn. But Alicia said that you look at it instead of making love to her. Is that true?" 

"Go to hell Richard. Too personal." 

"Ok buddy. Ok. But I just want to understand what went wrong with you two. I mean, you guys were always so happy. I never suspected anything." 

He looked down at his food as his fork swirled it around his plate. 

"She just doesn't understand Rich." 

"What doesn't she understand?" 

Greg dropped his fork and rubbed his face with both hands as he blew out a long breath. It was a sad sigh mixed with something else. Maybe guilt. 

"I work ten to twelve hours every day. If I'm lucky I only work five days a week. When I come home, I'm tired. I'm stressed. I deal with angry investors, angry customers, angry managers, sexual harassment suits, discrimination claims, everything. It all falls on me. If my stores' numbers are falling, or some asshole customer claims to see a rat to extort a free meal out of us, I have to handle it." 

He took a breath as if he were gearing up to continue. I patiently waited for him to get it out. 

"Alicia needs a lot of foreplay. I mean A LOT. She loves getting oral sex. She also likes kissing, licking, everything. I could spend 30 minutes on just foreplay alone. Then, when she's primed and ready, and we get to the actual sex, it takes her a long time to get off. She likes to switch positions frequently. On top of that, she wants me to talk dirty to her while all of this is going on. I love my wife. I really do. And when I have the energy, its great. I know guys who complain that their wife is frigid, or unimaginative, or just want to get the fucking over with. Alicia is none of those. But I don't have the energy to do that every night. Especially after dealing with all of the shit I have to deal with during the day." 

He paused and looked off in another direction. 

"Rich, sometimes it's just easier when I am alone. I hate to say that. I mean, every man dreams about a woman like Alicia; a horny woman who loves sex in a major way. I'm lucky to have her. I know that. But..." 

I saw his eyes start to mist up. Drudging up the hurt of one's marriage can do that. Seeing the part that you played to your predicament is hard. 

"I do so much for her. For the girls. I work my ass off to give them all of the things that I didn't have as a kid. My dad is very frugal. He only buys what is necessary. I want more for my girls. My wife. And I love spending time with them. They are my world. But sometimes I just feel like NOT doing something for someone else. When I come home after dealing with all of the shit that I deal with, I just want to be...me. I don't always want to be dad, or husband, or boss. I...I guess I let that slip away a bit." 

"How long has it been since you two made love? I mean, before the party." 

He shook his head. "I don't know Rich. I really don't. I didn't even realize that it had been that long." 

I nodded as some level of understanding hit me. Then I saw his eyes flash anger. 

"That doesn't give her the right to do what she did though Richard! I didn't humiliate her in front of everybody. I didn't fuck another woman. SHE SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME! WHY DIDN'T SHE COME TO ME?" 

I had to take a chance with my next statement. It was important to get my point across without making him feel like I was taking her side. 

"Maybe for the same reason you never told her why you were looking at porn. Communication is hard, especially if you don't realize you need to say something in the first place. How do you tell your spouse that you're unhappy?" 

"Easily. You say, I'm unhappy." 

"Touché." 

Things were getting a bit too deep. These are usually the times that I insert a joke. So I switched modes. 

"So Greg, about my wall..." 

He looked up at me and saw that I was teasing him. He snickered and shook his head. 

"Consider us even for the story, asshole." 

"I thought the punch in the face was putting us even." 

"Not even close." 

I had to laugh. This glimpse into the Pre-Halloween Greg was refreshing. Even if it only lasted a moment. 

"Fair enough." 

It was then that I saw Nikki standing in the doorway with an odd look on her face. Her eyes were telling me to see her immediately. I left Greg to eat and walked over to her. 

"Ummm, we have a problem." 

"What is it hun?" 

She looked at me nervously and pulled me closer to her so she could whisper. 

"Somehow Alicia found out that Greg is here. She's...on her way." 

Fucking John. He probably called her to yell at her or something stupid like that. He unwittingly fed her information about Greg's whereabouts. 

"Ummm, you need to stop that bitch at the door Nikki." 

Nikki held up her hands and shook her head. 

"Rich, I am not getting involved in this shit. Greg needs to deal with this. He's been avoiding her for two weeks." 

I found myself getting exasperated with my wife. 

"His skank of a wife cheated on him. Did you forget that?" 

"No I haven't forgotten. I have a fucking hole in my wall as a reminder!" 

I turned to look at Greg, who was absently toying with the food on his plate. He seemed oblivious to the Kamikaze mission that was on its way to ambush him. 

"What do you want me to do Nikki?" 

Her face softened along with her resolve as she saw my desire to help my friend. 

"He has to deal with this himself baby. You can be his friend and help him through it. But he can't run from it." She patted me on the chest and walked away. I turned to prepare Greg for what was to come. 

"Greg..." 

"I heard you guys. You can't whisper for shit. She's on her way." He rubbed his chin and grimaced. Then, his face took on a look of resolve. 

"Good." He said finally as he pushed away from the table. He turned to me and looked me in the eyes. 

"I'm ready to deal with it, Dr. Phil." He said flatly. Then he got up and went out my back door. 

+++ 

GREG NARRATING 

Beautiful sunset. Soft colors cascaded across the pale sky. Orange, red, and all hues in between. So serene. Almost calming. 

"Greg, honey..." 

Serenity gone. 

I didn't answer the apprehensive voice that announced the arrival of my wayward wife. I didn't even turn around to look at her. I just kept my eyes pointed at the artistry above me. 

Alicia took the absence of a refusal as an invitation. She wasn't totally wrong in doing so. She sat alongside me on Richard's back porch and curled her knees in front of her chest, as if for protection. 

"I've been looking everywhere for you honey." 

She could not have chosen a worse way to start this off. 

"I've been the same place all night." I mumbled to myself, purposely repeating the exact words that I said to her when I caught her and Dominic huddled up in Richard's kitchen a couple of weeks ago 

She looked at me a bit confused, as if she didn't understand my response. 

"Greg, we need to talk." 

I nodded my head in agreement with her. In my peripheral I could see the agony playing in her body language. I didn't look directly in her face, but I imagined it to be a chagrined sight. Puffy eyes, flushed cheeks, sullen expression. At least that is what her voice sounded like. 

"I love you honey..." 

"Lies." I interrupted her. 

"Greg..." 

"Stop it Alicia. Just stop it. You can't love me and humiliate me like you did. Airing my business out there like that? I would never do that to you." 

"What are you talking about Greg? You did do that to me!" I heard the anger rising in her voice. "You came storming down the stairs like a madman! Then, in front of everyone, you asked Susie if she knew I was fucking her husband. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! If you wanted to have a private conversation, you would have dragged me out of there and yelled at me in the car. BUT NO! You aired my shit out there first!" 

She was right, sort of. I didn't see things that way when it happened. I was blind with rage. 

"Okay Alicia. I'll concede that point. But I did not start this. Your fucking boyfriend confronted me and starting telling me about your pussy in front of other people. I dealt with it. I was in a rage. A FUCKING JUSTIFIED RAGE! Could I have handled it better? Sure." 

I paused to get my emotions in check. They threatened to run away from me. 

"But I didn't fuck anyone else." I continued. "You didn't have a woman coming up to you describing my dick size, or rubbing MY sluttiness in your face. You don't have to imagine my dick inside of someone else's vagina. If you didn't fuck him, there wouldn't have been any dirty laundry in the first place." 




Catwomen Caught Ch. 02: After the Party



I looked her straight in the face. I saw the anger drain out. Remorse and guilt replaced it. 

"I know Richard." 

I just shook my head. "Do you know Alicia? Do you really?" 

I saw her eyes flare up again. 

"You may not have physically cheated Richard. But you weren't there WITH me. Do you remember the last night I ever asked you for sex? Do you?" 

I shook my head. 

"It was on my birthday. I bought myself some lingerie from Victoria's Secret. It was sexy as hell. I bathed in scented bubbles, getting wet thinking about the night we were about to have. I rubbed my entire body in lotion that smelled like Eucalyptus. I had CFM pumps and everything. I spent an hour on my hair and makeup. Do you remember that night?" 

I did remember that night. It was the day I had to fire Frank. He was a good buddy of mine. He was one of my assistant managers when I ran Olive Garden. We became good friends over the years. When I moved up, I moved him up. 

He was accused of sleeping with one of his subordinates. I defended him vehemently. I just knew he would never do anything so reckless. However, the girl had text messages. Damning text messages. When they came to light, the board was on my ass. I was the one who had promoted him. I was the one who was backing him. I was the one who was left to deal with it. Or they would deal with me. 

So as you can imagine, I wasn't in the best of moods that night. I didn't forget her birthday though. I'd made reservations at her favorite restaurant. I was prepared to eat dinner out. However, the only thing Alicia wanted that night was dessert. 

"We made love that night Alicia. I remember that." 

She shook her head sadly. "We had sex Greg. At least I did. You didn't even cum. Then, when I tried to cuddle you, you pushed me off and said that you were tired. So I gave you space." 

Her voice choked in her throat, and she swallowed to clear it. I knew she wasn't done yet, so I waited for her to continue. 

"Then I woke up in the middle of the night. I saw you, in front of your computer. I saw you jerking off! To some plastic looking bimbo!" 

The words came out of her with force. Then, she crumbled. Her body shook as she tried to cry quietly, but failing. I sat next to her, unable to form words. I began to get some level of understanding. To hear her, to get her side of things, opened up my eyes. Before tonight, she was an evil slut. Now, I wasn't sure what she was. 

"I get it Alicia. Okay? I took you for granted." 

"Do you really get it Richard? Do you know how much that devastated me? Do you know how much it hurts to know that at your very best, you aren't enough of a woman to keep your husband satisfied? Huh? I don't' think you do. After that I told myself that I wasn't going to ask you for sex anymore. I wanted you to ask me for it. But you never did." 

"So, that's why you fucked Dominic? Did he make you feel like a woman?" 

She sniffled next to me and wiped her nose on her sleeve. 

"Yes Richard. He and Susie did." 

WTF! 

"Susie and I got drunk once in high school. We...did things that night. In the morning we were so embarrassed. We just blamed it on the alcohol and we pretended as if it didn't happen. Well, a little over a decade later, I come crying to her. After a few weeks of feeling like the unsexist woman on the earth, I came to her house. I was feeling so low. So broken. I told her I needed to get drunk, so she broke out the good stuff. And we drank. And drank. The feelings of inadequacy started to mask over, but they didn't go away." 

"How did you end up in bed with her and Glass Joe?" 

"Dominic came home from work and found us sloppy drunk. Susie told him about my issues. He started to tell me how beautiful I was. How sexy he found me. Susie told him that she agreed with him. That's when the story came out about us in High school. He became so turned on by it. He told us to kiss. We were so drunk that we did. It started off as a joke kiss, but before I knew it we were making out. When I finally broke the kiss, I turned and saw him there. When he leaned in, I didn't resist. From there, it just escalated." 

"How many times did you fuck them?" 

She turned to look up at the now dark sky above us and whispered, "Twice." 

That stung. The drunken incident was bad enough. I was already trying to recover from that blow. But to know that she went back again was something else entirely. 

"So, at the party. In the kitchen. What were you and Dominic talking about?" 

Her eyes flashed anger and a bit of guilt as she recalled it. 

"He was drunk. He was telling me how sexy my costume was and that he wanted me to come over their house that night for some fun. He made some crude joke about his two "pussies". I was scared that someone would overhear him, so I was trying to get him to shut up without making him louder. I told him that I made a mistake, and that the three of us couldn't do that anymore. Then he started to get a little bit aggressive. He began to...rub on me. That's when you came in." 

"Yeah. I got my panties in a bunch. Isn't that what you said to me?" 

She bit her lip and shook her head. "I was being mean Greg. Having Dominic hit on me like that reminded me that you didn't appreciate me." 

"Were you planning to go to his house later for some fun? Since he appreciated you" 

She shook her head and looked into my eyes. 

"No. I was hoping that you would finally ask me. I chose the Catwoman outfit because I knew that you liked Michelle Pfeiffer in "Batman Returns". You once told me about the crush you had on her because of that costume. I saw your eyes when looked at me in it. I saw that you were finally lusting after me. Me. I almost skipped the party altogether to get what I've been craving for so long. I wish I did. I hoped that when we got home, you would take me. Then Dominic happened." She said his name like she was spitting it out. 

"Well, he wouldn't have happened if you didn't fuck him. Why didn't you just talk to me Alicia?" 

Once again, she shook her head sadly and sniffled. "I don't know Greg. I wish I did. God knows I do." 

"Well, I guess there is enough blame to go around." 

She turned to me with hope in her eyes. 

"So what do we do now Greg? I don't wanna lose you. I love you so much. I would give anything for us to get past this." 

My mind was whirling. Could I get past this? Could I forgive my wife, considering that I played a part in our unhappiness? Let bygones be bygones? 

"I don't know Alicia. So much has happened. It would take a lot for us begin healing from this." 

The glimmer of hope was getting stronger in her. She wiped her tears and grabbed me by the arm. 

"Honey. I will do ANYTHING! Please. Give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you." 

I looked into her eyes and saw the hope. I began to feel it too. It would take a long time, but it is possible that we could heal each other. If we both fought long and hard enough, there was a chance. 

"Okay Alicia. But it would take a few things . First, we have to go to counseling. That is a must. We obviously have a lot of things to work through. We need to figure out how to communicate with each other." 

She kissed me on the cheek and hugged me around the neck. "Yes honey. Anything you say." 

"Secondly, you have to stop being friends with Susie." 

That's when I saw the light die in her eyes. And I felt it die in my heart. 

"W-what did you say?" 

"I said that you have to stop being friends with Susie." 

"Greg, why would you ask me to do that?" 

I sat back and looked at her incredulously. 

"You can't be serious Alicia. You cheated on me with her and her husband. What did you think I would do about that? Just trust that it wouldn't happen again? Every time you were with her, or talking to her, don't you know what I would be thinking? Feeling? How can I heal with that salt being rubbed in my wound regularly." 

She pushed away from me, like I slapped her. Her eyes welled up with new tears. Seconds ticked by with us just looking at each other. 

"You want me to choose between my best friend and my husband? I-I can't do that Greg. Please, don't make me do that!" 

I can't describe the pain that hit me at that moment. Strangely, it was actually worse than the pain of catching her cheating. This time, there was no rage to mask over it for me. I felt like my heart was being squeezed in my chest. Crushed under the weight of a realization that was too much to bare. 

The fact that she couldn't choose me over her best friend was crushing. All consuming. Extinction level catastrophe. 

The woman, the one that I loved more than anyone else in the world, didn't love me the same way. I wasn't her one and only love. I was one of them. I shared the throne in her heart with another. 

Dominic faded to the background. I couldn't give a fuck less about him now. He was the LEAST of my trouble. 

"Greg. Please, don't." 

"Make your choice Alicia." 

********************************** 

EPILOGUE: 

RICHARD NARRATING: 

I would love to tell you guys that Alicia chose her husband over her friend. I wish that I could give you a flowery tale of happily ever after where they run off into the sunset together. I wish. 

Alicia was unable to sever her ties with Susie. That bond was apparently too strong. It rivaled her love for Greg, so much so that she was unwilling to relinquish it even at the expense of her marriage. Sad. 

They were divorced a little less than a year later. It took that long because Alicia did everything in her limited power to stop it. Even to the point of lowering her dignity. I never thought I would see someone as proud as her do it, but she showed up to his job and BEGGED him not to leave her. In front of everyone. BEGGED HIM. It was a heart-breaking plea that made everyone who witnessed it uncomfortable. Even I secretly hoped that he would give her another chance. But Greg could not see anyway back together as long as she refused to give her friendship up. He felt he shouldn't have to share his throne in her heart. 

In essence, he was right. No spouse should have to share. 

Now, a year later, wounds still run deep. There was no winner here. The two of them cope as best as they can for the kids. They try not to belittle each other in front of their young ones. However, I have endured many nights as a shoulder for my friend to cry on. 

One good thing happened though. This Halloween he brought a date to my party. She was not dressed as Catwoman. She may be a rebound girl and not the next "great one", but finding a rebound is still a step forward. In real life, people don't just get over the loss of love. It is a step-by-step process. The heart heals in slow increments, not all at once. 

Alicia, Dominic, and Susie did not show up to the party. They stopped hanging out with the rest of us. Susie still supports her friend, and still blames Greg for being unfair and trying to force her to make "an impossible choice". In my opinion, if that choice was impossible then Alicia wasn't in the marriage as much as a wife should be. 

She said that she was willing to do anything. It is funny how people throw words like that around. Do anything. But what they really mean is that they will do anything that is comfortable. I'm sure that she was willing to act as his sex slave, or play the loving housewife. You know, the things that she already wanted to do. But when "anything" cost her something great, her marriage wasn't worth the sacrifice. 

He's better off without her, in my opinion. 

************************* 

AUTHORS NOTE 

I want to start off by thanking my awesome editor. He was truly a BIG help with this story. I was having trouble finding a direction for it since the first one came out so easily. Nonethewiser did great work. His help with some of the additions that he suggested were timeless. 

I also wanted to give a shout out to Harry in Va. I took a shot at you in the story, but it was done in fun. I truly don't consider a story complete until I get a controversial comment from you. You always hate my stories, but you always read. Please take it as a compliment, and not as an insult. 

Thank you all for reading.



Catwomen Caught Fictional Redux



I've taken javmor79 up on his invitation to write a fictional ending to what he maintains is a true story. You really need to read his story before this one - otherwise it will make no sense. This is NOT a stand-alone piece.

No cuckolds were actually harmed in the writing of this piece.

******************** 

As I laid rubber down Richard's street, I was still blinded by rage; when I went through a stop sign and almost got T-boned, I knew that I had to calm down. I pulled off to the side of the road, and took several dozen deep breaths like I did when coaching Alicia during Lamaze training before she delivered our two kids. It did help. I had to think. The first thing I did was to take the battery out of my cellphone.

My parents were watching our kids for the weekend - it was supposed to be a really grand one, where Alicia and I put all of the hassles of rearing an active four year old boy and precocious two year old girl behind us and re-connected. "Some re-connection," flashed through my brain, starting to get me white-hot again. I needed another series of deep breaths.

After a few minutes I realized what the first thing I had to do was. Whenever confronted with a serious problem in my life - although I'd have to say that this was the worst not just because Alicia had been fucking that moron Dominic but because of the humiliating way that she talked to me in front of more than a dozen people that we knew - I could only get through it if I took it one step at a time. Just like when I played High School football and the coach constantly preached "one game at a time." Most players thought that it was a bullshit cliché, however after a year in which we finished 3-7 when we should have been 7-3 we did embrace it the next year and won the conference championship.

Step one - go home, get the spare key to my parents' house, collect more clothes and toys for both of the kids, drive the half hour to their house, and then go in and sleep on the couch. There was no way that I wanted to see Alicia right now, and despite telling her to stay away I had no expectation that she would.

Step one accomplished, I lay on my parents' couch trying to sleep, but it was impossible. Therefore I concentrated on step two. It was probably almost light out before I settled on a step two - it would require the help of two family members, but I knew that I could count on them. I actually got a few hours of sleep before Jenny and Billy shrieked with joy when they saw that I was there and jumped on me, obviously quickly waking me up. I think that they were a little taken aback when I hugged them tight with tears in my eyes.

Jenny, way beyond her twenty eight months in verbal skills and perception, said "Why are you crying daddy? Are you so so said?"

"No darling," I stoically replied wiping away my tears. "I'm just so so happy to see my darling children, that's all."

That seemed to satisfy her.

My Mom and Dad were surprised to see me. They knew that all was not well, but didn't inquire in front of the children.

After a great breakfast where my Mom spoiled the kids with their favorite food - blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup and butter, something that they don't get at home - Mom sent Dad and the kids to run some errands. Since Billy and Jenny knew that grandpa was the biggest soft touch in the world at stores, they were happy to go with him.

The last giggle from Jenny as she exited the door had barely dissipated when Mom sat me down, held my hand, and asked "What's wrong - you look like Hell and coming here in the middle of the night is very suspicious behavior."

My Mom has a good head on her shoulders. She recently retired as a municipal court judge - my father was still working about thirty hours a week. I could always confide in her and get good advice - as long as I solicited it. She didn't butt in where not wanted.

I told her the story and step 2 of my plan. She shed a few tears then replied "Of course I'll help. Let's call Gail right now," Gail being my older sister who lived in the same state but 140 miles away. Mom talked to Gail first - then me. She was on board.

Gail and her husband Rudy didn't have kids - not because then didn't like them, but because Rudy had a problem (which was never discussed) and neither of them were interested in adoption. Billy and Jenny were their only nephew and niece and they adored them. Both Gail and Rudy worked, which is why Mom's involvement was necessary.

Mom told Dad the story while I played with the kids in the back yard. He gave me a big hug when I came back in and assured me that he was all in too.

Caller ID showed that Alicia had called three times on my parents' land line before I had the kids packed up and in the car, and Mom and I started driving to Gail's house. We never answered. Dad assured me that he wouldn't answer the phone or the door the rest of Saturday or on Sunday, and that he had an overnight business trip Monday and Tuesday and wouldn't be around.

We got to Gail's house mid-afternoon. We had as good a time as could be expected under the circumstances, and Gail and Rudy thoroughly enjoyed the kids. I took a few minutes out to buy a burner phone at one of the last remaining Radio Shacks.

Rudy is a police detective. After the kids went to bed on Saturday I had a heart-to-heart talk with him, sans mother and sister. His remark "Now I'm not suggesting this because it's not legal, but I just want to tell you what some people have done in your situation...," followed by an interesting story, was Very Helpful, and facilitated finalizing Steps 3 and 4 in my mind before I returned home Sunday late afternoon. Mom would watch the kids while Gail and Rudy were at work, and Gail would take the next Friday off and drive Mom back home and either drop the kids off too, or take full responsibility for them for a week. Since they weren't in school yet they wouldn't be missing anything at home.

Surprisingly, the kids were having such a good time - Gail and Rudy spoiled them more than Mom and Dad did - that they never asked about Alicia except in passing.

On the drive home I made a call based upon Rudy's non-suggestion/story. It was to Frank Childers. I would see who my friends were after the "Halloween Holocaust" which I was now, quite over-dramatically, calling it.

"Hi Frank, Greg here."

"Hi Greg - I almost didn't answer because I didn't recognize your number and thought that it was a phone solicitor."

"Yeah, I've got a new phone whose number I'm not giving out."

"That relates to the Halloween party at Richard's I'd bet money on - sorry about the shit storm, Greg. You don't deserve it."

"Thanks Frank; I'm going to see in the next few weeks who my REAL friends are. The reason for my call is to see if you saw anything of the exchange between the asshole and me."

There was a pause on Frank's end. I had helped Frank out of a real jam just six months earlier. He owed me. Also, I knew that Frank had no problem bending the truth a little. While I normally did have a problem bending the truth - in fact I can't remember ever telling Alicia a significant lie during our marriage, nor more than two or three at work in the last ten years - this was different. This was, in my mind, akin to war, or when police interrogate a suspected serial killer or terrorist.

"I think I remember," Frank said hesitantly. "Refresh my memory, though, will you."

"Well you were near the stairwell when I came down from punching out the asshole and I'm sure that you heard me loudly say 'You can't spit in my face fucktard,' and I'm sure that you saw me wipe the spittle off of right cheek and nose with a hankie as I exited the stairwell."

"Yeah, I remember. I did hear you scream something about spitting in the face, although I can't remember the exact words, and I sure do remember you wiping white stuff off of your right cheek and nose."

"I'm so glad that you remember that, Frank. You wouldn't mind telling anyone else about it if asked, would you?"

"Sure wouldn't."

"Do you know of someone else who might have the same recollection?"

"Yeah - you met my brother Don, didn't you? He was visiting from Cleveland."

"Yeah, I sure do - we had a nice talk, both dressed like pirates as I recall."

"Yeah, that's right. I'll give Don a call and see if he remembers."

"Thanks Frank; whether or not he remembers, please don't call me about it. But if anyone asks you, and Don does remember, give them his phone number, will you."

"Sure thing, Greg. If there is anything else I can do to help, please let me know."

"Actually, Frank, I never talked to you about this - and I won't be calling again - but thank you a thousand times. You don't know how much I appreciate it."

Frank chuckled. "I DO know, because I know how much I appreciated your help in March." With that we both terminated the call.

The next call on my burner phone was to one of my assistant managers of the restaurants I manage. Her husband is an associate attorney with a big law firm that must have someone who handles what is euphemistically known as "Family Law."

"Hi, Beth; how's my favorite employee?" I said as soon as I heard her "Hello" on the line.

"You must want something Greg if you open up the conversation with that bullshit line on a Sunday evening."

"See - that's why you're my favorite employee, Beth - you can cut through the bullshit."

We both laughed.

"Actually the reason for my call is that I want to talk to your Perry Mason husband Jerry." Both Beth and I were fans of old legal dramas, like Law & Order, Allie McBeal, and L. A. Law; and of course the Perry Mason TV show and movie were the best of the bunch.

"If I can tear him away from football, I will."

Jerry came on the line a few minutes later. "Hi Greg; what can I do you for?"

"I didn't mean to take you away from watching a game," I protested.

"Hell it's between the Bengals and Steelers and I want them both to lose, so no big deal. What's up."

"I won't mince words. I need to talk to a divorce attorney, pronto; like early tomorrow morning. Do you have a kick-ass someone at your firm with that specialty?"

"Ouch! Sorry to hear that. I can think of two; Carla Rogers and Roy Winfield. I'll give them both a call and see if either is available. Should I call your cellphone?"

"Not my normal one; the one I'm calling from now, but please don't give it to anyone else except Beth; it's xxx-xxx-xxxx."

"One more thing. Do you have a criminal defense attorney you'd recommend."

"Shit, Greg, I'm afraid to ask what the hell is going on. You want to see him or her tomorrow morning too, I take it?"

"Yes, please."

"I'll call you about that too."

"Thanks. Can you put Beth back on?"

When Beth came back on her first words were "Why is Jerry so wide-eyed and why did he rush into his study with his cellphone out?"

"I'll tell you at some point, but not now. What I need is for you to take full responsibility at work on Monday - you're the boss. I don't know what time I'll be in, but for sure you have to take my 10 a.m. meeting with the paper products supplier. My notes for the meeting are right on my desk. Kick ass! Also, if there is a real emergency you can get my new cellphone number from Jerry."

"Got it, Greg; I can't wait to hear your story," she chuckled before we both ended the call.

My last call was to Richard.

"Sorry about the hole in the wall board, Richard. I'm calling to ask you to send me the bill when you get it fixed."

"I'm sorry about the events that caused the hole, Greg. Are you doing OK?"

"Actually, NO. I feel like shit."

"I can understand that. Just so you don't find it out from someone else and don't think ill of me for it, when the ambulance took Dominic away and Susie went with it, my wife Jackie insisted that we let Alicia spend the night. She was in no shape to leave, anyway. I didn't really have a choice about whether or not to let her stay. Maybe it will be some consolation to you that she was sobbing most of the night and the next morning whenever I heard her."

"Thanks, Richard - actually that does make me feel better. However, please don't tell me what happened after I left. It would be too painful."

"OK," he chortled, "but I'd have to say that if a vote was taken then 80% of the partygoers would say that Tarzan got what he deserved, and 90% would say that Alicia was out of line with her public tirade."

I paused. "Thanks, Richard, I appreciate that."

"Plus, I'm not sure that I'll have the hole repaired. I'm trying to talk Jackie into putting a frame around it and titling it "Tarzan's comeuppance."

I laughed - I needed a laugh. "Well in the remote possibility that she doesn't agree to that, please, please send me the bill."

"OK, Greg; good luck," Richard replied before terminating the call.

I got a call back from Jerry ten minutes before I got home. "Carla Rogers and Jim Hosmer, family law and criminal defense, will meet with you, together, at 9:30 tomorrow morning. They're on the sixth floor of the building I'm in - you know where it is, right?"

"Sure do - I'll see Carla and Jim then. Thanks, Jerry; I owe you."

"You can pay me by telling Beth to be nicer to me..." he chortled.

I heard Beth laughingly yell "You asshole, see if I spread my legs tonight," in the background before he terminated the call.

"At least someone has a good marriage," I said to myself.

**************** 

Lights were on in the house when I got there. Susie's car was parked on the street. Time to face the music - I was ready.

Susie and Alicia walked into the kitchen as I came in from the garage. I'm sure that they heard the garage door open. The two normally hottest-looking chicks that I knew both looked like hell, which caused me to smile.

"Where are Jenny and Billy?" Alicia snapped, her arms folded and a snarl on her face.

"Why, if it isn't my faithful wife and her dear loyal friend. How nice to see both of you looking like shit. I hope that you had a nice weekend fucking Tarzan; he can still fuck, can't he?" I said with the biggest smile that I could muster.

That set them back on their heels. Alicia's resolve was starting to dissipate already. Susie finally replied. "Thanks to you he's still in Mercy Hospital with a concussion, and won't be able to work tomorrow. Unless Alicia and I can convince him otherwise he's going to have you arrested."

"Well, just have Alicia fuck him some more, and maybe he won't call the cops, although I don't really give a flying cock-suck if he calls them or not. In fact, I hope that he gets Mirsa while he's there and it eats his cock away."

Susie started crying. Her tears apparently strengthened Alicia's resolve. "Where are the kids?"

"You were supposed to pick them up at their grandparents' house today. You tell me."

"They didn't answer the phone and when I drove over there no one was home."

"I'm sure that they just took them on a fun excursion since they knew we were having a re-connecting weekend, faithful wife. I'll call Mom tomorrow and find out where they are."

"You bastard, you're hiding them from me," she yelled.

"Not so, faithful wife. Like I said I'll talk to Mom tomorrow. Now do you have a meal prepared for your loving husband?"

"Go to McDonald's, asshole," she screamed before sitting down on a kitchen chair and covering her face with her hands as she sobbed, and Susie tried to comfort her.

Step five popped into my mind. It was too risky, but I was going to do it anyway. I made another call to Frank Childers. "Frank, despite my statement that I wouldn't ask you for anything else, I do need something else."

"Shoot," he replied.

"I'm on my way to your house to switch cars. Once we do, please go through the drive-through of the McDonald's on Chestnut five minutes after we switch cars and buy, with the cash that I'll give you, two Big Mac's, an order of fries, and a large Coke. Do what you want with the food, but leave the bag with the wrappers in my car on the floor, and the receipt on the passenger's side seat."

"Ha, ha; OK, Dude," he laughed. 

After the car exchange I went to Mercy Hospital with my wig and fake mustache from my pirate Halloween costume, which were still in the car; I also had a pair of horn-rimmed glasses with clear lenses. Putting a logo-less baseball cap over my wig, with my fake mustache and glasses, I went to the Information Desk. "Could you please tell me what room Dominic Scalia is in?"

"He's in 204," the helpful lady at the desk said, "but I'm sorry but visiting hours ended twenty minutes ago."

"I'm his cousin John from out of town; I rushed here as soon as I heard the news. Can you call up to the nurse's station and ask if I can just say hello to him - and I'll come back tomorrow for a proper visit."

The helpful volunteer did as asked and the night nurse on the second floor said that it was OK.

I went upstairs, identified myself to the duty nurse, and snuck into Dominic's room and put on a pair of latex gloves, conveniently positioned in a dispenser in his room. He was zoned out, although the TV was blaring away [I thought that people with concussions weren't supposed to watch TV; he was obviously going against doctor's orders; it figured for that fucktard]. I was happy to see a bandage on the back of his head, and obviously a broken nose.

I looked around his bed. Nothing that I could use. I needed plan B.

I moved the nurse's call button away from him and stuck it under the mattress. I put a handkerchief in my right hand and pushed it over his mouth while I put my left thumb on his right eye. He awoke with a start and a muffled yelp as I pushed his head back, obviously hurting the bandaged part.

"Listen asshole," I mumbled, "if you ever fuck Alicia again your cock will be cut off and shoved down your throat. This is no idle threat."

He started to mumble "Fuck you," but when I pushed a finger into his eye while simultaneously tweaking his broken nose he frantically mumbled "OK, OK, OK."

"Say 'I got it.'"

"I got it," he mumbled.

I poked his eye again and then quickly left, closing the door behind me, and exited down a side stairwell.

I looked at the hankie. "Sure looks like spittle to me," I chuckled. I threw my baseball cap, mustache, glasses, and wig into a dumpster at a construction site on the way to pick up my car, and gladly noted the McDonald's trash and receipt just where I asked Frank to put them. Then I threw the spittle-containing hankie on the floor next to the McDonald's bag and went home and slept in the guest bedroom. I did not encounter Alicia that night or the next morning.

************ 

I met with the attorneys the next morning. I found out the horrors of divorce even with an adulterous wife, but found that I was in a better position with respect to any criminal charge since spitting in one's face was sufficient provocation for one punch (and one punch only) under the law of our state.

After the meeting I had been back at the office only forty five minutes when two cops came in.

"Are you Greg Jenkins?"

"Yes, officer, I am. Why are you here?"

"We're arresting you for the assault of Dominic Scalia. Please stand and put your hands behind your back."

"You're going to perp march me out in front of my employees?"

"Sorry, standard procedure. You have the right to remain silent..."

I exercised my right to remain silent, and asked for my attorney when I was brought into an interrogation room. Jim Hosmer was there within twenty minutes. Once he arrived we pretended like we were conferencing - although we had already planned out what to do precisely that morning - then called in the two cops who would interrogate me.

"Detectives Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes," Hosmer derisively said when the cops walked in.

"Very funny, Hosmer. Don't you have some serial killer to get back on the streets," the cop he misidentified as Holmes (real name Jackson) shot back.




Catwomen Caught Fictional Redux



"No, today I'm representing an innocent man. But remember my ground rules. You videotape this, you have a half hour, if you ask the same question a third time the interview is over, and I get a copy of the video within three days. I'll also want to know the name of the assistant D. A. assigned to this case before I leave."

"Sure counselor, anything for you," Jackson snarled, while signaling Dr. Watson (real name Givens) to turn on the video recorder.

I told my story about Dominic fondling my wife at the party, then following me to the bathroom, then telling me that he fucked her regularly and daring me to do anything about it because he'd love an excuse to beat the shit out of me, then spitting in my face causing me, with that sufficient provocation, to punch him once. Only once. Then I walked down the stairs wiping the spittle off of my right cheek and nose. In response to questions (I did not volunteer it) I told him that I saw Frank Childers and his brother - whose name I couldn't remember because I just met him - standing at the bottom of the stairs wide-eyed. I didn't know if I still had the hankie with his saliva on it, but if I did it was in my car, parked at my office.

No I did not visit Dominic in the hospital. I had just seen my cheating wife and his, and was told to go eat at McDonald's. So I went to the one on Chestnut, thirty minutes away from the hospital, and while I couldn't remember exactly what I ordered it probably was my usual - two Big Macs, fries, and a Coke. I hadn't removed the trash from my car as far as I remembered.

I gave the cops written permission to search my car.

Hosmer terminated the interview at exactly thirty minutes. I was led to a cell. Hosmer went to talk to the assistant D. A.

I spent three nights in jail - I could have gotten out after one but I asked Hosmer to be sure that there were some snafus to increase my damages for false arrest - and then was granted bail. The cops told the assistant D. A. that they found a hankie and McDonald's trash on the floor of my car, and a receipt from McDonald's with a time stamp within minutes of when someone supposedly attacked Dominic in his hospital room. The videotape from the McDonald's at Chestnut showed my car there, but it was not possible to see the person inside given the angle of the video and that it was dark. 

Frank, and by a phone call by the cops from Frank's office to his brother Don, both confirmed me yelling something and wiping what appeared to be spittle from my face with a hankie as I descended the stairs. Frank remembered something of what was yelled, which included "spit," but Don only remembered the yelling and not what was said.

When the DNA results of the spittle on the hankie came back two weeks later, the D. A. dropped the charges. The next day I sued Dominic for false arrest.

************** 

Going on simultaneously with the assault scenario were the issues with Alicia. Alicia was frantic that I was in jail and that she couldn't reach my parents so that she didn't know where the kids were. Even if she was a cheating bitch, she was a good and concerned mother, so I knew that this was tearing her up. By the time that I got out on Thursday and got home from work Thursday evening she was subdued.

"I'm sorry that you got arrested Greg. I tried to talk Dominic and Susie out of calling the cops."

"What? As good a fuck as you are you couldn't convince him?"

"I...I don't want to fight. I just want to get back to where we were."

"Oh - do you have a way to go back in time and un-fuck Tarzan?"

"No. I...I want to move past it. The kids need both parents."

"You're right. They need us in separate homes. Maybe we can get apartments or townhouses right next to each other so making exchanges for joint custody will be easy."

"Don't you feel even the least bit responsible for what happened?"

"No; and I'll tell you why, faithful wife. Your perception that I value porn over you, and that I haven't paid any attention to you, is complete and utter bullshit. It is just your justification for your cheating."

"I saw porn on your computer."

"Yeah, maybe one night, two at the most. And it was not a substitute for you; every guy looks at porn sometimes, even your loving fucktard. I haven't looked at porn more than three times in the last three months, and it never was a substitute for you. Also, do you remember the times you turned me down for sex - or do you only remember when I was tired from an especially bad day at work?"

After a long pause she mumbled "That's not the way I remember it."

"Worst of all, though, faithful wife, is that you never talked to me about it, just went out and fucked Tarzan, and then you aired your humiliating thoughts in public in front of more than a dozen people that we know. How in the fuck do you justify that?" 

"I was drunk, Greg, OK - I'm sorry. But there was no reason for you to hit Dominic. You hurt him bad. And then you went to his hospital room..."

"Cut the crap, Alicia. I never went to his hospital room, and he deserved getting his lights punched out. I had sufficient provocation in my mind to kill the son-of-a-bitch so you should be grateful that I didn't so that you can get some more cock from him in the future."

She broke down. When she finally regained her composure she said "Dominic and I are done. He's afraid that you'd kill him, and I am too. Plus, I was humiliated too at the party you know; now there are lots of people who avoid me like the plaque."

"Glad to hear that, sweetheart - you deserve being treated like a disease. Plus, you have only Dominic to thank for your embarrassment. He's the one who told me in intimate detail about how great it was to fuck you, so send him a thank you note. Plus, he threatened to beat the shit out of me at the party, so why are you and he now the ones who are afraid that I might hurt him. I don't give a shit about you any more Alicia. Go fuck whomever you want - I hope that you get syphilis!"

"No, no...no, this can't be happening," Alicia wailed as she rocked back and forth. I thought she was about to have a stroke, and I didn't want to be responsible for getting her to the hospital, so I threw her a bone.

"The kids will be back tomorrow. I talked to Mom and she took them to Gail and Rudy's house to avoid the unpleasantness here. Stiffen your back and don't act like you are now when they return. After things settle down we can talk about the details of the divorce."

With that I went to get some dinner, as she continued to rock back and forth in a kitchen chair and sob.

After the kids got back I tried to act as normal as possible with them around, even by talking sweetly to Alicia. The only blowup I had was when I came home one night about a week later and Susie's car was there. After playing with the kids for a while I asked them to go in the back yard for a few minutes, and I'd join them. As soon as they were outside I confronted both Susie and Alicia.

"Alicia, I've tried not to be mean to you the last week - and I haven't been, have I?"

"No, but you certainly haven't been warm either."

"Alicia, that boat sailed on Halloween, and it's not coming back to port. However, if I ever see this cunt who likes to share you with her fucktard husband in my house again, it will be World War III. When I come back from changing clothes to take the kids to the part if this bitch isn't gone I don't care whether or not the kids are around, the shooting starts!"

Both Alicia and Susie shivered. Susie was gone when I got back downstairs.

***************** 

Things stayed on an even keel - me not ever raising my voice at or treating Alicia the way I felt her cheating ass deserved to be treated and with me sleeping In the guest room - until after Dominic was served with my lawsuit for false arrest. I knew that he didn't have the will or the economic means to fight it, and I didn't care whether I ever got a dime from him, I just wanted him to hurt without getting arrested again.

After the kids went to bed a few days after Dominic was served Alicia demurely said "Greg. There's something we really need to talk about. I know that you've closed yourself off to me emotionally, and I don't know if that will ever change. But I need to talk to you about your lawsuit against Dominic."

"How did you find out about that?"

"Susie told me - over the phone. She hasn't been here since the day you kicked her out."

"What about the lawsuit?"

"Could you please drop it? I know that you hate Dominic, but despite what you may think, Susie doesn't deserve it, and if Dominic goes down she will too."

"Oh, really. So I should care about Susie, huh?"

My wheels really started turning at this point. Actually, I believed that I had reason to punish Susie too - but also, as was brought home to me when they both dressed like Catwoman, Susie was a really hot chick, as hot as Alicia.

"Let's see what we can do about that," I said in a calm voice. "If you're serious about me not destroying Susie along with Dominic, then you'll answer some questions for me, and I do believe that we can work something out."

"Uh...OK...what questions?"

"How many times did you fuck Dominic?"

The color drained from Alicia's face. "Please don't do this; do we have to talk about that?"

"I'm serious, Alicia. I likely am willing to help Susie out, but if you don't care enough about her to answer some questions that I believe that I have the right to get answers to, then it's going to be you who brings your friend down, not me."

Alicia looked with her head down. When she didn't respond after about a minute I got up and started walking out.

"No wait," she blurted out. "Nine or ten times."

"Over how long a period."

She got a pained look on her face. "Three or four months," she mumbled so softly that I had to ask her to repeat it.

"Where did you fuck?"

She started whimpering but answered. "Only once here, once in a car, the other times at Dominic's house."

"Was Susie ever there?"

Now Alicia started quietly sobbing. "She was in their house twice, but not in the room."

"Great, that wasn't so hard, was it?" I said trying not to get white-hot angry all over again. "Tell you what. If Susie fucks me - and I mean does a really good job of fucking me - ten times over the next four months, once at her house and nine times here twice with you in the house - forget the car, I gave that up in High School - then I'll drop the suit. In fact, I'll put the suit on hold as soon as she agrees to it, and once the ten fucks have been enjoyed, will drop it then, that way they won't have the legal bills of fighting the suit in the interim."

"Do you really hate me and them that much?" Alicia sobbed.

"I could ask you, did you and Dominic and Susie really hate me that much while you were fucking around?"

As she continued to quietly sob I said. "Oh, one more thing; as part of the settlement of the suit, Dominic agrees not to ever have sex of any kind with you again otherwise the suit is immediately re-instituted."

As I left the house to go to the gym to hit the speed bag for a half hour to get my anger out, I realized that despite my anger I felt better than I had since Halloween.

**************** 

It took about $10,000 worth of attorney fees expended by Dominic - I had my attorney filing every bit of discovery I could, and noticing the depositions of all of Dominic and Susie's friends - including Alicia - before I got an answer to my proposal. I came home from work on a Friday night to find Susie's car there. I didn't go ballistic this time because it was a much different situation than the last time Susie was there.

Susie and Alicia were sitting in the living room, the kids playing on the floor in front of them. After I hugged and kissed the kids Alicia said "Billy and Jenny, could you go out in the back yard and play for a few minutes. Then I'll get you and take you to Chuckie Cheese."

Billy pumped his fist "Yes," and Jenny giggled, as they raced outside.

Susie looked good - real good. She had just the right amount of makeup on and was dressed provocatively - although not so provocatively as to look like a whore.

"Susie has decided to accept your offer, Greg. If you want I can take the kids out tonight, and you can have your first liaison now."

"Is that right, Susie?" I asked in as pleasant a voice as I could muster.

"Yes, it is Greg," she shyly replied.

"Are you going to just go through the motions, or be an active participant?"

"I...I...I'll do whatever you want Greg; but please don't hurt me."

"I assure you, physically hurting you is the absolute last thing on my mind. I'll call my attorney right now and have the case suspended for three months unless I advise differently."

I pulled out my cellphone and told my attorney exactly that while Alicia and Susie listened. "Would you like to confirm that this is my attorney?" I asked Susie, holding the phone toward her.

"No; I believe you," she said, and then sighed like an enormous weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.

"Let me say good-bye to the kids and then go upstairs to change, Alicia. When will you be back?"

"We'll be back in two hours," she sighed.

"Great. Thanks for arranging this," I replied with a sincere smile.

**************** 

At that point I was horny with a capital "H;" actually, all caps. Despite Alicia's view of things I thought that we had had a good sex life. Not having had any sex for more than two months, now, I was raring to go. However, I had thought this out very carefully expecting that at some point Susie would say "yes." I believed that given what an asshole Dominic was, he probably was a slam, bam, thank you ma'am kind of fuck. Maybe he had a big cock which allowed him to get away with it, and maybe Alicia liked it rougher than I had been giving it to her. However, I suspected that Susie would really be turned on by a gentle, loving, and passionate approach. I took a little blue pill so that I would be good for at least three rounds in two hours.

When I walked downstairs in just a T-shirt and pair of shorts, the kids and Alicia were gone. "Hi, Susie," I said with a genuine smile. "You really look nice. That is the perfect amount of makeup for a naturally beautiful woman like you, and your outfit really complements your many strong points."

Susie was startled. "Oh - thanks Greg, you look studly in your shorts and T-shirt."

"Let's be honest, Susie, I'm not in your class when it comes to looks; but I hope to be when it comes to passion." She started to reply but I didn't give her a chance. "How about a glass of wine; I have a great New Zealand white?"

"Uh, thanks, Greg, that would be nice."

I poured us each a glass of wine - her a second one since likely out of nervousness she chugged the first one - as we sat next to each other on the couch and talked. After about five minutes I started to lightly stroke her arm. A little while later I stroked her thigh.

"You know, in addition to your fun personality, one thing that I'd always admired about you, Susie, is that you have great legs?"

"Do you really think so?" she asked with a smile, as I poured her a third glass of wine.

"Absolutely. In fact, to be honest - and I'm kind of embarrassed to say this and probably shouldn't - but I think that your thighs are world class."

After another fifteen minutes of conversation, during which I had given her every even marginal compliment that I could - although to be honest most of them were correct, especially the thighs comment - I gently stroked her face. Then I kissed her softly. She responded with no reluctance whatsoever. I gently stroked one breast while I continued to plant soft kisses on her lips, cheek, and neck. Without prompting she reached for my by now rock hard cock and massaged it through my pants. I stood and gently pulled her up.

"I can't wait to taste you, goddess, I whispered into her ear." Given the smile on her face I was sure that she wasn't used to being treated like that.

I lifted her up, she put her arms around my neck, and I carried her up to the guest room. To be safe I closed and locked the door. I purposely but smoothly removed her clothes while staring into her eyes. With the exposure of each bit of flesh I oohed and aahed, or made some flattering comment. I didn't really have to search to do that. In fact, trying to be as objective as possible, her tits were just as good as Alicia's - that means as good any that I had seen in my life - and her crotch looked even better.

"Please take my shirt and shorts off," I moaned into her ear once she was naked. She enthusiastically complied. I then lay her on the guest room bed -my bed since Halloween - and started slurping and fingering her pussy, occasionally lightly pinching a nipple.

Any apprehension that Susie had about what we were doing was gone by the fifth time that I stroked her G-spot while simultaneously licking her clit. She had two massive orgasms from my finger and mouth play, and as she came down from the second one she moaned "Please fuck me Greg, please fuck me."

I slowly penetrated her in sync with pinching her now eraser-like nipples, and occasionally flicking her clit. Once I was buried she started going wild. While I did my share of moving, she was more energetic, and we had earth-shattering simultaneous orgasms.

After we parted, I stroked her face and shoulders and marveled at what a great sex companion she was. Then I did what she said later no man had ever done for her before. I went down on her crotch again right after fucking her and orally got her to yet another massive orgasm. As soon as she came down from that I was recharged, and put her on her hands and knees and did her doggy. As I pounded I played with her asshole with one hand, and squeezed a tit with the other. She bucked back, and put her hand between her legs to stroke my balls each time they were flung forward by my thrusts into her expectant pussy.

After the second fuck we cuddled, and spooned. She seemed content. After a half hour or so I got hard again and fucked her in the spoon position while vigorously massaging both tits. After another simultaneous orgasm I rallied her almost comatose body out of the bed and into the shower. We had just stepped out of a very stimulating shower when we heard the garage door open. We quickly got dressed and went downstairs to meet Alicia and the kids.

Alicia got a sad look on her face when she saw the obvious "just fucked" looks that we had and our wet hair. I walked Susie to her car. "You really are a sex goddess," I said as I opened up the car door for her. She smiled broadly. "That was really fun, Greg, as fun as anything that I can remember. When and where should we meet again?"

"I'll call you Monday or Tuesday," I replied with a smile. I could see Alicia peeking out at us through one of the windows so I bent down and gave Susie a not-too-subtle kiss."

*********************** 

The first sexual encounter with Susie was two years ago. Alicia and I did not divorce. First for the sake of the kids, and then because we both changed our attitudes - and Alicia stopped drinking more than one glass of wine at a time - we finally reconciled. I started paying more attention to her, although I honestly did not think that had been a legitimate concern on her part. She cut off all ties with Dominic, who I never saw again up until this date.

A big part of me changing my attitude and our ability to re-connect, as far as I was concerned, had to do with me fucking Susie. I didn't just fuck her nine more times. We've been fucking an average of at least once a week since then. About six months ago she split from Dominic and came to work for me. I found her to be a good employee, and delegating some things to her has allowed me to spend more time with and be more attentive to Alicia. Also, it makes it very convenient for our fuck sessions.




Catwomen Caught Fictional Redux



Susie and Alicia still remain friendly, although not quite like before. Susie says that she doesn't think that Alicia knows that we fuck regularly, but I'm not so sure.

Anyway, we don't go to Halloween parties any more.



Catwomen Caught



I obviously didn't know what was going through Greg's head. I knew what would have been going through MY head had that been me. I just ran with that. I feel for him and the choice that he is faced with. Alicia did him very wrong, regardless of her reasons. Not sure if I am routing for reconciliation or divorce in this situation. I have to be honest. Of course I am partly biased since Greg is my friend. 

And of course, Superman would so completely beat the Hulk. I agree with Greg on that. Heat vision, flying, super speed. No contest. Unless there is Kryptonite. Neither here nor there. 

As I said before, I may revisit this story later if things become clearer. I could simply add my own ending to it, but I want to leave that option open in case reality turns out to be better than fiction. I invite any author to continue with his own interpretation on what the ending should be. I would be very interested to see what you guys come up with. If I revisit this story, I will be very curious to see if any of you came close to the truth. 

Thank you for reading. 

Once again, Nonethewiser is awesome for his editing. Any mistakes made when I transferred his corrections to my story is not a reflection on him.