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Caden's Tale Pt. 01

By: carvohi



Here are the Customary Preliminaries:

I'm submitting this story in four small parts. It's completely finished so I'll submit each part consecutively, one day right after the other. I'm doing this for two, what I think are well-founded reasons. First, I want to discourage skimming. Second I've been getting tired of some of the long drawn out things I've been reading, and this might be more pleasurable in smaller more bite sized pieces. 

I also have a handful of admonitions. For one if you're a skimmer, just turn around and go home now. Second, I doubt you'll find anything of a political nature so that shouldn't ruffle any feathers. Third, this story is neither a BTB nor a RAAC. There is reconciliation, but not in the traditional 'loving wives' use of the word. You'll have to draw your own conclusions about that one. I hope you enjoy it. 

Here we go. 

~~v~~

"Caden's Story: A Tale of Infidelity and Love."

By Carvohi

Prologue:

Let me tell you when it comes to 'loving wives' I'm a man who's got a tale to tell. The name's Caden Meadows by the way. Why do I say what I do? I say this because I am a very happily married man, and I believe I have the most beautiful, most loving, most loyal, most sexy, and the most faithful wife God ever put on this earth. 

Aha, the reader surmises, "This must be the story of some poor stupid shit who just found out or is just about to tell everyone how he found out his wife turned out to be the town whore." That may or may not be true, or it just might the lead in to what a few have called a very unusual story.

The question? Is my wife the town whore; the 'I'll spread my legs for anybody', some aggressive 'dick loving', 'semen slurping', 'rim licking' office slut? Who knows? Really, who cares? I got her, and that's all that really matters. 

Sounds odd don't it; I'll have to go back a few years to get any of this right. Fair warning; I like to talk so bear with me, and read carefully. I don't want any skimmers.

~~v~~

Part One:

Twelve years ago I was married to the most gorgeous young babe anyone ever saw or met; she had blonde hair, blue eyes, a nice rack, great legs, and the most perfect 'hairless' pussy anyone ever slathered their tongue over. There was only one little problem. I've never been the most well-endowed of men. At least that's what I was told. My wife said I just didn't seem come up to snuff, and I had to admit she was right.

I never understood why she married me. Oh she said she loved me, but quite frankly when it came to straight coitus I just wasn't able to cut the mustard. I mean we tried everything; missionary, sideways, doggie, name it, we tried it. Nothing worked. The only way I could get her off was with my tongue, and for her that just wasn't always enough.

I'll let her tell it from here for a while. Honest, I had it all on a cd she made but it got partly ruined when I smashed it so I've had to try to restore it. I got most of it back. Try to understand this has been pretty painful for me. So, like I just said, for a while it'll be from her point of view. Trust me it hurt when I heard what she sent me; it hurt so much, like I said I broke it. I threw it against the wall. It was only later, much later that I got up the gumption to try to fix it. I think I got it all back. Later, after I got her side done, I'll tell mine.

~~v~~

The name's Angela Meadows, maiden name's Owens. I married Caden right out of college. I mean it I really loved the guy. I still do as a matter of fact. I'd had a few boyfriends, and I believe he'd had a few girls. Neither one of us were what I'd call novices. We weren't experts either.

I remember right up front he warned me he didn't think he had much downstairs. I checked him out, and sure enough I looked down, and he was about as small as I'd ever seen. I agreed he was awfully short in the meat department, but I said I'd marry him anyway. I loved him, but I told him there might come a time or two when I'd need more than he had to offer. I thought he understood. 

OK, we got married. I got a job at a brokerage, and he went to work for one of the big accounting firms outside DC. 

Life was good. Caden wanted kids, but I persuaded him to hold off till we got a little money saved for a down payment on a house. We rented a nice townhouse for a while, but got lucky and found something we could buy. 

We were careful and we saved, but we enjoyed life too. We traveled. We ate out regularly. We joined a social club. We both took up golf and continued with our tennis. The club we joined had a great pool so we both took diving lessons. We snorkeled in the pool and found the money to go to the Bahamas and scuba dive. In short, we enjoyed married life. For a few years everything went our way. The world was our oyster.

Of course there was always our 'little' problem. Caden was good with the cunnilingus, and his 'little Cadeny' always felt 'nice' when he slid it in my pussy or my asshole. Just the same there was a little something missing. I tried to keep it to myself, but every now and then I did remind him he was on the small side and someday I might have to avail myself of something bigger, more meaty. I told him that to keep him on his toes, keep him a little insecure. I never seriously intended to cheat. Honest, I never did plan on it.

Then it happened. I worked for a rapidly growing brokerage; sales were up, profits were great, and my portfolio was looking better all the time. One afternoon my immediate supervisor came to me and said they needed me to attend some classes, a seminar. I'd be gone for several days. I'd be going to New York. Wow! The Big Apple! Gotham City! Me!

I came home and told Caden about the opportunity. He was all for it. We'd been doing well, and had quite a bit saved. He was trying to convince himself that pretty soon I'd be willing to slow down just a mite and make a baby or two. I guess he figured the seminar would put me in a supervisory position, and that might mean fewer hours. I guess I led him along a little on that one. I wish I hadn't...now.

We kissed and hugged and made love the night before I left. Like usual I had a 'small' one; he had his usual 'bigger' one. I was supposed to be gone for three days so I packed accordingly. I didn't pack anything extra special. I didn't plan on anything happening.

To be completely honest there'd been one or two, oh well three, no four times over the past few years when I had to have my hole really filled. Caden never knew. I had to admit none of the guys I tried really did 'it' for me much better than Cayden's little 'twink'. I guess I was either making poor choices, or maybe they were all just coincidentally the 'teensy weensy' types. 

No one at my work knew anything about my 'extra' activities. I mean I made sure everyone believed I was staying faithful; though I think I might have let it slip about Caden's size problem, but I sure never said anything to Caden about my few 'extra-fun' activities. Believe me. I love Caden. I would never do anything to hurt him. Well almost never.

So off to New York I went. Caden must have had his suspicions because he reminded me of our marriage vows and how he'd always been faithful. He told me he hoped I'd never let him down. I remember I told him, like always, I'd try my best to be a good wife. I meant it too. I'd try.

New York sure was everything I thought it would be. What did Frank Sinatra call it, 'the city that never sleeps?' I'll say this, with free lodgings at a top notch hotel, a great expense allowance, a minimal number of meetings, and some great looking men I had a hell of a good time.

While I was there I met a lot of interesting men. Some of them thought they could get me in the sack. Everybody knows the type; arrogant, handsome, richly dressed, personable. I never went for that type. I could see right through them. 

There was one guy though, name was Glenn; he wasn't like the others. He looked so sad, forlorn was the word that came to mind when I first caught a glimpse of him. His last name was Matthews, and the 'powers that be' had arranged us all alphabetically. So there I sat, surrounded by oglers and 'eye ball' rapists while right next to me was this poor little lost sheep. 

I say little because he was little. I bet he didn't stand more than 5'6", and he couldn't have weighed more than 120 lbs. Caden, my man, was, except for the one thing, a real specimen. Caden was an easy 6'2" and a solid, I mean muscular 200 lbs. 

The man in New York, Glenn, looked so sad I took pity on him. He sort of scuffed around, hemmed and hawed, and finally squeaked out an invitation to dinner. I accepted.

We went to the hotel restaurant. I ordered lobster. Glenn got the prime rib. He was so interesting, but in a downcast despondent kind of way. I've learned all men are scum. They all use the same line. They'll tell a girl how their wife doesn't understand them, how their wife is neglectful and uninterested in friendship or companionship. 

I never. I mean never bought the line, but with Glenn it rang true. I believed him. Before I knew it I found myself upstairs in his room. 

Now I'd been around. I was no babe in the woods. I'd seen some nice pricks; most of them were in the eight or nine inch range and I always thought just right for me. Poor Caden and his little wienie; he just never quite had it in him. I figured Glenn was going to be another little squirrel. I figured he could do me and I'd never even notice. Yeah, we'd hit it, he'd get his rocks off, maybe slurp little of his semen up out of my snatch, and I'd get a little 'offage' from that.

Was I ever wrong! We got up to his room, he dropped his drawers, and like wow! Godzilla! Moby Dick! King Kong! He was a cool ten inches and that was flaccid! Once I touched it, and he started to rise I thought, 'Holy Jesus! It'll never fit!'

Know what? It didn't. He went real slow; he was careful, but it just didn't matter. He was too much man for me. I squirmed. I writhed. I wriggled. I wiggled. I cried. I moaned. I yelled. And I had the biggest most painful sexual experience of my entire life. I wouldn't exactly call it an orgasm, but it sure was memorable.

Worse! Ten minutes later and he was hard again. The second time he wasn't nearly so gentle. God how it hurt! But God what a wild time I had. We went back and forth, in and out for nearly an hour, and when he was finished I was as raw as hamburger. God how it hurt!

He rolled off, thanked me, and asked if we could get together the next evening after dinner. I rolled my eyes. Of course I said yes. 

I went back to my room knowing I had to call Caden. What was I going to do? What was I going to say? I was an honest Injun. I knew I had to tell him. But first I had to do something about my crack so I got in the tub and filled it with ice cold water. It was so cold I couldn't feel anything...at least for a while. 

Once out of the tub I checked my cell phone and saw Caden had called and left several messages. Then I checked my room's phone and saw the red light blinking. He must have called my room too. I used my cell and returned his calls. 

I got him on the line and he asked, "Angela! Where've you been? I've been trying to reach you all evening."

I couldn't lie. I loved him too much. I had to come clean, "Caden you remember how sometimes I've said that maybe someday I'd need more than you could offer?" I heard him sigh on the other end.

He said, "Angela what are you saying?"

I told him, "I met someone."

He asked, "You met someone?"

I answered, "Yeah. You'd like him too. His name's Glenn. He's from Omaha. He's a really nice guy. We had dinner and..."

Even over the phone I heard Caden's sigh. He said, "Angela...you?"

I sighed back, "I'm sorry Caden. I didn't mean to. He was just so lonely. He needed someone."

Caden sighed again, "Are you saying...?"

I was really upset. I loved my husband. I never wanted to hurt him, but I believe in honesty, and we promised to share everything. I sighed again too, "Yes Caden..."

Caden must have winced or something. It seemed like he did anyway. He said, "You and him, you..."

I winced back, "Twice. We did it twice." I could almost feel Caden's pain through the phone.

He asked, "Was he?"

I had to tell him, "He was Caden. He was big. I mean real big." I could hear my husband moan.

Caden moaned, "You liked it. He was..."

I tried to be cheerful. I said, "Better? Yes Caden he was way better," I giggled. I thought a giggle might lighten the mood, then I said, "My God I bet he was twelve inches. He really filled me up. I never had such a..."

Caden's tone of voice seemed to change. He sounded kind of angry, "Big orgasm huh. Bigger than I could ever give I bet."

All the way from DC to New York I could feel Caden's anguish. I was glad I was getting it out of the way long distance. He did sound a little put off. Maybe I shouldn't have told him? I had to stanch the bleeding. I had to try to make him feel better. I said, "Caden he was big. He was terrific. It was like dynamite! But he wasn't you." 

I think then I heard something break over the phone. I hoped Caden hadn't thrown anything. I just wasn't sure. He has a temper. Nothing I couldn't handle though.

Caden asked, "You're not..."

I stopped him. I had to tell him. I had to let him down easy. I said, "Caden you know how much I love you. I'm only here one more night. Then I'll be back home. Look it's just one more night. I'll do Glenn's 'big man' one more time, and then when I come home I'll make it up to you. I'll take your 'little fellow' and I'll give you the best blow job you've ever had. I'll play with 'him'. I'll fondle 'our little guy' like I always do. I'll all around love on 'my little chipmunk' like crazy." 

He always gave a little sigh when I called his penie 'my little chipmunk' so I knew he liked the name. I said, "I'll do all the things I know you like. I promise, but I need just one more 'big' night." 

I think, no I know I heard my husband sob. That wasn't good. Had I gone too far? I didn't think so. I knew I could make things up to him when I got home. Gee, just one more night, and then I'd take care of my man. I told him, "See here Caden. It'll just be one more night. I'll be home, and it'll be like it never happened."

He said, "Yeah, sure." 

I heard Caden hang up. It would be all right; he was just tired and needed his sleep. It was still the middle of the week and he had to work the next day.

~~v~~

The next day I sat beside Glenn. I was sore, but all I could think about was what he had between his legs. We were at a table so every now and then I let my foot drag up around his leg. I saw him smile. Later that night it was a repeat of the first only with even more gusto. Glenn was a sexual superman. He drove into me like a pile driver. God it hurt, but how can I say it; it hurt, oh did it hurt, but it was good! 

We did it twice again, and both times after he finished he went down on me and sucked and licked his semen out. It was a totally wild, an absolutely exhilarating experience. 

After it was all over and I went back to my room and took another old bath I called my husband. I was really sore. I'd never been so sore. 

Caden answered, but he sounded awfully subdued. We didn't talk much. He did ask me if I'd been with Glenn, and when I told him yes I had he never said anything. We finished talking. He commented on the weather, and how much he'd gotten accomplished at his office, but that was about it. I told him what time my plane would be in. I'd left my car at the airport so I told him I expected to be home around lunch time. He didn't say anything. I told him I loved him and that I missed him, and couldn't wait to get home and be with him. He never said anything about that either. No that wasn't true; he said he hoped I had a safe trip. That was a relief; I knew then we'd be all right. I guess he was a little down, but I knew I could fix that.

~~v~~

The next morning, after a brief farewell to Glenn I boarded my plane and flew back home. Though I was still terribly sore; all in all it had been a terrific experience. Glenn had sure filled me up. Offhand I couldn't say how great the orgasms were, but gosh I was so sore they had to be good. Anyway, I'd learned a lot more about the business, and I'd had two wonderful evenings with a man I'd probably never see again. 

My plane landed on time at Dulles, and after a short ride on the coach I was in my car and on my way home. To say I was looking forward to seeing Caden was an understatement. I needed desperately to see him and make up for what I'd done. I knew he was hurt, but if I knew my Caden; he'd forgive me and after a while all would be forgotten. 

I pulled into our townhouse parking lot, got out, got my valise and brief case and started for our front door. We'd been buying a two story townhouse outside D.C. in a prosperous suburban town called Columbia in Maryland. It was right across from a very new high school in a wonderful neighborhood; just the kind of place to raise kids if we ever got around to having any.

I'd called when the plane landed, but the message to our home phone went to the answering machine. I'd called Caden on his cell, and he'd answered. He said he was very busy, but he'd be in touch. Then he hung up. I supposed his abrupt response was him still having a fit of pique over my silly indiscretion, but I was sure he must have known that sooner or later I'd have to have some additional satisfaction. I wasn't worried. I knew things would be all right. I knew how to take care of his 'little penie'. 

With luggage in hand I went to our front door. As expected it was locked. I wasn't concerned; it was a Friday, like me a work day for Caden. I unlocked the door and went inside. 

The place was clean and quiet, just like I'd left it. Caden, though a big athletic man, was like me, something of a neat freak. I walked through the living room, the dining room and on into the kitchen. Not a thing was out of order. I checked the clock. Caden would probably be home in a couple hours. I decided to go upstairs and take a nice cool bath. Yeah, things were still a little sore down south, but I'd make the sacrifice. I'd slip on something sexy and be ready when my husband got home. 

It was when I reached the bathroom that it occurred to me something might be amiss. None of Caden's bathroom utensils were there. I opened his side of the medicine cabinet; none of his shaving supplies, his floss, his toothbrushes, only his scented soaps I bought for him were still there. His water pic was gone too. 

'No,' I thought, 'this was a mistake.' I stepped from the bathroom to our bedroom. Everything looked fine. Just the same I checked our closets. All my clothes were just like I left them, but Caden's, his things were missing. 

I sat down on the bed, 'Maybe he was angrier than I thought? Had he temporarily moved out?' I dialed his cell phone again. He answered.

Caden said, "Angela?"

I replied, "You know it's me. Where are you, and where are your things?"

He responded, "I told you I'd be in touch when I was ready." 

I didn't like the tone of his voice; he sounded flat, dead. No he sounded defiant. How dare he! I said, "Look, I expect you to get back here. And where are your things?"

He answered, "I said I'd be in touch. You needn't worry." He hung up.

To say I was angry would be a mild misstatement. I was furious. I tapped in his number again. This time all I got was his voice mail. That made things worse. He wasn't pulling anything like this. No sir, no tantrums, not from him, not for some silly little indiscretion, some little mishap, a tiny little off putting. 

I wasn't a stupid person. I knew my husband. His company frequently had clients fly in for consultations and such. Caden's secretary handled accommodations and she always used either the Marriott or the Hampton Inn. I went back to my car, drove to the facilities I know they used, and sure enough, I found Caden's car parked in one of the 'elite' spaces at the Hampton. 


Caden's Tale Pt. 01



Caden's so predictable. I scouted around and saw a Denny's down the street. I drove down. There he was having his usual; two eggs, four strips of bacon, and two pancakes. Why wasn't he at work? 

I went in and told the waitress who I was and walked over to his booth. 

He looked up, "His Angela. I see you got back. I'll bet you must be tired."

I sat down across from my husband, "Yes I am tired, and I'm a little put off too. I came home and you weren't there. It looks like you've moved out. So what do you think you're doing?"

He neither smiled nor frowned. His voice was flat, no expression whatsoever, no anger, nothing, "That's right, I've moved out."

For me it was time to take control, "Well I'm back now. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. So where's your stuff. We can get you moved back and then we'll have a nice dinner." 

He just sat there. He'd stopped eating. His eggs were getting cold. He didn't say anything. I realized by the look on his face he was agonizing over what to say. I needed to help him out so I said, "Caden you needn't apologize. I can understand, but it's all right. Let's get you back home and we'll fix things."

He surprised me. He replied, "I'd tired Angela. You've worn me out. I admit it; you're the better man." 

OK, I'd made a mistake. I'd done something I shouldn't have, and maybe I made it worse by telling him. I never thought. I never thought, not once. What had I done? He had a small penis. It occurred to me I might just as well have cut it off.

I whispered, "Caden please. I'm sorry. Please come home. Come on. Let's go home." 

My husband put his fork down. He crossed his hands in front of his mouth. He looked like he was going to cry. He said, "Three years. We've been married three years. That wasn't so bad was it? I should have known better. I should have known."

He was scaring me. I reached across and got his hands. He let me. I said, "Caden I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it. It was a mistake, a stupid selfish mistake. I love you. Come on now. Let's go. I need to get you back home."

He took my hands in his and responded, "You know I love you Angela. But it's time. I've got to let you go," he sniffed a little, "You go home now. I am sorry. I'm so sorry. I just can't give you what your need. I'll be in touch."

I didn't know what to do, what to say. I got up. I looked down at the one man I truly and unquestioningly loved and I realized I'd made a really big mistake. How could I have been so stupid? I said, "No Caden. Please."

He didn't say anything. I felt like I was looking at a cadaver. I never expected. I smiled and said, "OK, call me when you're ready and I'll help you get your things together so we can get you get back home."

He smiled at me. I saw a tear trickle down out of his left eye. I couldn't handle it. I stepped back and left. 

That happened on a Friday. I was served at the end of my work day the following Wednesday. It was all very amicable, very clean. We divided everything fifty-fifty. He gave me the house; he even offered to pay the full mortgage for two years. 

I was crushed. I had to take the rest of that first week off. I stayed in bed the whole time. I just couldn't manage anything. All I did was cry. I thought about Glenn. Hell it hurt more than it was fun. Christ, one night with Caden and his little wiener was more enjoyable and more pleasurable than all the big penises on the planet. 

It hadn't been the dick. It hadn't been that at all; it had been the man attached to it. I tried to call, but all I got was his voice mail. Caden was gone. I'd driven him away. I just didn't know what to do. I was clueless. I was stupid, and I was so sorry.

*****

This is the end of part one. Vote if you like. Leave a comment. Part two will be tomorrow.



Caden's Tale Pt. 02



I sat back and listened to the cd I had of Angela's description of her infidelity. I listened to her confession and her explanation for the umpteenth time. I shut it off. 

I'd loved her. I'd loved her with all my heart, but I knew. I guess I always knew. Angela needed more than I could give. It wasn't her fault, not really. It was me. It broke my heart. I was worthless. I just didn't measure up. No woman would want me; oh maybe for a while, but not for long. I looked in the mirror a hundred times. All I saw was failure. I might make a million, no a billion dollars, but no woman would ever want me. I mean want me! The real me! There'd be no little league, no Boy Scout camp outs, no little girls, no dance classes, no bedtime stories, no school plays. No loving wife. No nothing. 

Word got out around the office. Of course they knew. I was the 'needle dick'. I was nobody; good for a job maybe, good when it came to accounts, but beyond that, good for nothing. 

I found and rented a modest townhouse near the office, and pushed myself into my work. There wasn't anything else to do. Sure Angela called. She wanted to talk. She wanted to explain. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to get back. I knew though; it was a waste of time. I knew if we ever got back she'd be gone again, off with some guy with a real dick. No it was best I should just stay home. 

It took me six months to get back to even being close to normal. Of course there weren't any women. Hell I couldn't even jerk off. Every time I looked down all I saw was failure. People tried to be nice to me, well at least a little bit. 

I don't know why, but for Angela's sake I kept our club membership up. Some of my bosses belonged to the same club. In fact it had been one of my bosses who'd sponsored me. Every now and then someone would stop by my office, peek in and say something. I'd stopped using the club. I'd stopped playing golf, stopped the tennis, and quit using the pool. For sure it started to show. My once healthy thirty-three inch waist was starting to expand, and my once firm biceps and thighs were turning to mush. 

People stopped in and I'd hear, "Hey I saw Angela at the club. She's still playing golf." Or I'd get, "Saw Angela at the Friday night dance. She was with so and so. She said to say hello. Said she misses you." Like I needed to hear any of that. 

Then something unexpected happened.

Like I said it'd been six months. That's an eternity for someone when their life's been completely shattered, and they see no way forward. I guess that was me.

The office Christmas bash was just a week away. It would be at the club; the usual thing, a party for the thirty or so company people and their wives, but anybody else who belonged to the club could be there too. No way was I going. I didn't need the pain. Then from out of nowhere the resident office slut, Jeannie Dunlap stopped by. 

She came in and sat down across from me in my office. "Mr. Meadows," she said, "I could use your help."

Rumor had it Jeannie had probably fucked every man and boy who'd ever worked in our office. She most likely had permanent carpet burns on her back from the many times she'd been shagged in the back meeting room. It was a wonder she hadn't either been fired or caught something. For all I knew she had AIDS or something. 

I replied, "Sure what can I do?"

She sort of hesitated, and then asked, "My car's in the shop, and the office party's this Friday night. Nobody's going to ask me, and I'm a little afraid to try to hitch a ride. I'm something of the office pariah you know. I was wondering if maybe you'd let me go with you?"

I was stunned! This was the office whore, and she was asking me to take her to the big Christmas affair? It was just out of the question for me to be seen with a person like that. Jesus! The office party. At the club. Why my ex-wife, or soon to be ex-wife, might even be there. I replied as gently as I could, "Gee I'm sorry Ms. Dunlap, but I hadn't planned on going, and..." 

Ms. Dunlap smiled and said, "I understand. No one wants to be seen with me. Most of the men around here would be scared to death if I even showed. They'd be afraid one of their wives might say something."

I nodded.

She went on, "I have an idea though. This is only Tuesday. The party isn't till Friday night. Perhaps we could do an early dinner. Someplace discreet, a place where you wouldn't be seen with me. We could talk. You might be surprised. You might even change your mind."

I thought, 'She thinks I'm stupid. She's coming on to me. Did she want to see just how small I actually was? That had to be it.' Then again I thought, 'I'd always liked her. Slut or not she'd always been polite and considerate, a good worker. I didn't think she ever missed any time. What did I have to lose?' I replied, "This is Tuesday. If you leave your address. Say maybe 5:00 p.m. I'll pick a place."

She smiled. She reached over, took a pen from the desk set Angela had given me, and wrote what I asked for on a piece of scrap paper. She handed it to me, then she said, "Casual?"

I said, "Yes, casual."

That little interlude happened just after 10:00 a.m. I had all the rest of the day to think and rethink what I'd committed myself to. After a little hemming and hawing I decided it wasn't a totally bad idea. I'd find a place way out of the way. It would just be she and I, no commitments, no chance of getting caught, and I hadn't been out in months. Maybe a little conversation wouldn't be such a bad idea?

There was a quiet little seafood place not far from where I lived when I was married. My ex-wife never liked it; said the prices were too high and the portions too small. It would be a Tuesday; hardly anyone went out to eat on a Tuesday. I made arrangements for a corner booth for 5:30.

I got to the address she indicated at 5:00 sharp. It was one of those typical garden apartments; three stories, open stairwell, large parking lot. As I pulled in I saw her; she was standing just inside the glass doorway. I pulled up, got out, walked around, and opened the passenger side door to my car. 

She came down the steps. It was a cold evening for a Maryland December; she had on a dark brown wool overcoat. I noticed her hair was down; she usually kept it up in a bun or in a ponytail at work. The wind gusted up. She used her right hand to try to manage it, but her bright red locks fluttered about rebelliously. She slid in and I closed the door.

After I got around and in the driver's seat I said, "There's a seafood place not too far. It's called the Weathered Scupper. Seafood all right with you?"

She flashed me a brilliant smile. I'd never noticed before how white her teeth were. She was a tiny woman; she couldn't be more than 5'2". She had red hair, green eyes, and even in December her face was flush with freckles. I wondered if the hair was really red. I chuckled to myself; there was only one sure way to find out. Maybe I'd find out some day?

Her smile disappeared and she said, "Two things; I love seafood. I've been to the weathered Scupper and I love their stuffed flounder, but don't you think it's a little pricey?"

I nodded, "It is a little costly, but I like their salmon. You said two things?"

With a straight, and I realized serious face she replied, "I saw the 'look'. Believe me I'm not as fast as you might have heard. I might even have a bottle of wine cooling in my refrigerator right now, but first base is all you'll get tonight, and first base with me is a polite handshake."

I smiled then, "You know your men. I'm sorry I just wondered..."

She smiled again, "I'm a natural redhead."

I laughed at that. I thought, 'Pretty brazen, but then she is a redhead.'

We went to the restaurant. She got the flounder. I got the salmon. As an appetizer we shared a plate of crab dip. We didn't have too much to say. I told her about college, my parents, and my three siblings. She told me her dad had died, a massive coronary. She had two older brothers who both lived in Ellicott City. Her mom she said lived in Hagerstown with her widowed sister. Both were cities in Maryland.

It sounded like we both had pretty good childhoods and growing up times. The only real difference was in our post high school educations. While I'd gone straight to Shippensburg, she'd dawdled. She'd hung out for a year, then drifted into community college, and finally finished at Frostburg, one of Maryland's state colleges. She said she'd learned how to do nothing; she'd been an English major. I had to laugh. I told her I'd started out as an English major. 

I couldn't help but notice certain things about her I hadn't realized at work. For one, like I first saw, she was tiny. Angela I remembered had big tits, Jeannie I bet was about as flat chested a woman I'd ever seen. It didn't seem to matter; she was dressed so prettily. Once she'd gotten out of her heavy coat I caught what I thought was a very pretty girl. Not that she was a child; I bet she was at least thirty, no she was 'child-like', youthful, different. 

Other than simple office gatherings I'd never seen her out of the office before. In the office I thought she always seemed out of character for someone supposed to be such a slut. Her attire was usually shapeless jumpers or heavy wool or tweed business suits, nothing that attracted attention. 

But not tonight!

Once the overcoat came off I got a glimpse of a real woman! She had green eyes, and she'd worn an almost filmy thin long sleeved button up blouse. I mean it was a plain blouse, no frills or lace, but it sure fit her well. She only had two of the top buttons undone so I didn't get any cleavage. It didn't seem to matter; she wore it so well. She had on a dark black and green plaid mini-skirt, dark brown nylons, and dark green heels. He legs were thin, but incredibly well shaped. 

I felt self-conscious looking at her as she sat down. I felt myself starting to react, but that only reminded me of my very well-known inferiority. 

Gosh she had a pretty face. I always thought she was pretty, but I never paid much attention at work. Those big green eyes! The freckles. It didn't look like she had any makeup on. Her ears were so tiny, and she had on delicate looking crescent shaped earrings with what looked like little emeralds inside. 

Jeannie looked like someone I'd see in a magazine. It was too damn bad, her appearance only reminded me of two things. First I knew I was inadequate. And second she was the office whore. All in all it was a wonderful but disappointing evening.

Around 7:30 we'd finished our meals. She skipped dessert. I drove her home. Nothing much was said on the way back to her house, but when we got in front of her apartment she startled me. I guess I half expected a glass of wine and roll in the hay. The wine sounded good, but the roll in hay scared me.

Jeannie didn't wait for me to get her car door. She opened it herself. As she sat there, half in and half out of my car she said, "I was thinking about inviting you up, but I changed my mind." 

I was relieved but disappointed too; it meant no performance failures, but it also meant I'd probably failed as a date.

She sat there a second. She put her hand on the back of her seat. It looked to me like she wanted to touch me. She said some things that surprised, no disarmed me, "I like you Caden. You're a good man. I mean it. I had fun tonight. That's why you're not coming upstairs. I know what everybody says. I know what you think of me. I'm not comfortable with any of that."

I nodded. I said, "I understand."

She didn't respond like I thought. She said, "No you don't understand. You know how men are; let one in and a girl's loose, let in two and she's a whore. I made a mistake. OK, I made two. But that's all. It won't happen again; especially not with you. It's not what I want."

I watched and listened. She looked and sounded so sincere, but I knew women. I didn't know what to say so I said something stupid, "Want to go out again tomorrow night?"

She looked startled, but she said, "Just a date."

I said, "Just dinner."

She said, "Sure. I guess so. 5:00 o'clock again?"

I said, "How about 6:30."

She dropped me with a pretty smile, a real smile. She knew I'd picked a 5:00 p.m. dinner to keep from getting caught out with her. By suggesting 6:30 I'd changed the rules. She said, "6:30 sounds good. Still casual?"

I thought, 'Not this time.' I said, "No I want to see you in a dress."

She beamed then, "OK, a dress it is," she got out and started up the stairs. Then she stopped; she briefly turned back and waved. God damn I felt good. Little dick and all; I felt good!

All the next day I was euphoric. I couldn't explain why; I just felt good. People stopped in every now and then and asked me about Friday night. They asked how I was doing. One fella, a nosy guy who'd been beating the bushes about my divorce from day one, even asked me if I had a date for the Christmas Party. I told him I thought I did. He asked if he knew her. I twisted his tail a little and told him it might be a guy. He smirked and walked off. I knew that would get out.

Jeannie came by once and stood in my office doorway. She winked, gave me a subtle waist high finger wave, and mimed 6:30. I high fived her and mimed, wear a dress. She grinned and left. 

I picked her up at 6:30. She was at the door waiting in her big brown overcoat. I got her in the car, and she said, "You didn't say what restaurant."

I played it close to the vest. One of the absolute very best restaurants in the area was the Iron Gate Wine House. It was 'the place' where all the 'upwardly mobile', 'need to be seen' people went. Prices were outrageous and everything was ala carte, but if someone wanted get a great meal and make sure everyone knew who was with who, that was the place to go. I told her, "Thought we'd hit the Iron Gate if that's all right with you?"

She gave me a hesitant look and murmured, "You're sure. You know there'll be people there who'll see us. I mean do you want to be seen out with me?"

I had to; I reached over and with the fingertips of my right hand I lightly touched her left ear. She had on another set of very pretty earrings, these were red like her hair and they dangled down just a smidge. I touched the earring ever so lightly. I also got a little of her ear lobe. I don't think she liked it, but she didn't flinch back. I said, "You said something about Friday night. I'd like it if you'd let me take you."

She'd just fastened her seatbelt and shoulder harness. The harness crossed down in front of her coat and revealed a slight valley between her breasts. She had her hands folded neatly in her lap. She looked over at me. She looked scared. She said, "I wish now that..."

I knew what was probably coming. I had to head her off, "You asked. I want to take you. I'd feel privileged to get to take you."

She slowly released a wan smile, "OK. I asked, so we'll go, but let's get one thing straight. It's a date, just a date. I'm not. It's not..."

I'd started the car, but we hadn't moved yet. I left it in park and said, "I like you Jeannie. We went out last night and I had the most fun I'd had in years, and all we did was sit and eat and talk. Look, gosh darn it, I might be in a supervisory position at work, but there's no official title. We're having dinner tonight as friends. We'll go to the Christmas party as friends, just friends, that's all." 

She wouldn't look at me. Who would've thunk it; Jeannie Dunlap was acting all shy and timid. I thought I knew women. Well guess what? Maybe I didn't.

We went to the Iron Gate. I got a steak. Jeannie got sirloin tips. I got a small bottle of wine and we each had one glass. We talked a little about the office, but mostly we talked sports. I had no idea Jeannie was a football fan. I had to admit it; I was too. We even rooted for the same team! Would wonders never cease?

After dinner I took her home. She let me walk her to front door; that was the big glass door that led to the stairs that led to her apartment. I didn't push it. I'd had too much fun. 

We agreed I'd pick her up at 7:00 for the Christmas party. Dinner was scheduled for 7:30, so I figured that would give us enough time.

~~v~~

I needed a break. Maybe I was getting cold feet, maybe I was a little scared. I hardly slept at all Wednesday night. I kept thinking how I'd had two really fun evenings with the woman who was supposed to be the office pig. Was I being 'set up'? Was this some big joke? After all she'd approached me. I assumed most of the women at work had heard about my 'inadequacy'; my wife had intimated as much at other gatherings long before our divorce. Was Jeannie part of some nasty subterfuge? I thought, 'Was there some kind of bet? Did the women in the office want to find out how bad 'it' actually was, and had Jeannie, the office harlot, been chosen to be the one to find out?' 

When I got to work Thursday I was a nervous wreck. I was ready to cancel our date, but Jeannie got to me first.

Even before I got my coat off. Before I got to my desk Jeannie was at my office door, "Mr. Meadows may I come in?"

I turned and sat down behind my desk. I was scared. I wanted to keep as much space between her and me as possible. "Sure," I said, "Come on in."

She said, "May I please sit?"

I pointed to the most distant chair, "Of course."

She sat down. She looked uncomfortable, "I don't think tomorrow night is such a good idea."

'What?' I thought. I asked, "Why? What's wrong?"

She said, "Somebody saw us last night. I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I think..."

My office door was open. I just bet there were a dozen ears not fifteen feet away... I very quietly asked, "Have you selected a dress?"

She rolled her eyes. She was starting to tear up. She whispered, "Yes I have a black..."

That changed everything! I got up and walked around from behind my desk. I got to where she was sitting. I held out my hand to help her to her feet. I felt her stiffen when I put my hand on her waist. I didn't care. I walked her to my office door, and very clearly and distinctly, maybe even a little loudly and in the general direction of the whole office said, "Yes I think your black dress would be most appropriate for the Christmas party. I'll wear my good black pin-striped suit; that should match your dress. I'll wear a red handkerchief in my coat pocket. That will go nicely with the red corsage I ordered from the florist on my way to work this morning. Is 7:00 p.m. still good for you?"

I looked down at her and smiled. She looked terrified. She simply nodded her head.

"OK," I said, 'let's get back to work." I watched as she walked back toward her desk.

I went back in my office, but left my door wide open. I got on the phone and immediately called the florist I used to use when I got things for my ex-wife. While sitting there listening to the florist's phone ringing I thought, 'Jeannie's comment this morning sure blew all my conspiracy theories right out of the window. More so it gave me a new and better feeling about Jeannie and me. We really liked each other. We may never be more than just friends, but damn it, we were going to be friends! Good friends! Let the office gossips have their day. Let the natterers slink around the office and tell smutty jokes. We'll show them!' Then I rethought, 'We'll only show them if Jeannie wants to.' I wouldn't want to do anything to embarrass her. 

I hadn't felt this manly since I don't know when! Somehow, as stupid as it seemed, I felt like I was defending Jeannie's honor. I was standing up for myself too. I was being assertive! It felt good!

I had one regret; we'd taken out the old water cooler and replaced it with a cash drink machine. Gosh, if we still had a cooler I could've hidden an audio device behind and could listen in on all the chin wagging. 




Caden's Tale Pt. 02



Thursday and Friday went quietly. Nobody came to see me about anything but business. Jeannie walked by a couple times Thursday with a frightened look on her face, but by Friday she seemed to have recovered. Now it was all about Friday night.

~~v~~

I walked through the office around 3:00 p.m. Friday. Most everyone had already cleared out. I walked past Jeannie's desk area and saw her still diligently working on something. I asked, "Why are you still here. Most everyone else is gone probably home getting ready for tonight."

She barely looked up but said, "I want to log in all this disaggregated material on our newest client. If I get it in now it'll all cohere over the weekend and be ready for you."

I leaned in and hit 'control', 'alt', 'delete'. I said, "I don't want it to be ready Monday. I will probably be too tired after the weekend."

She harrumphed at me, "Now I'll have to start all over Monday."

I laughed, "Good. Now go home, take a nap, and then get ready for the party."

She stood up, saluted, and said, "Aye aye captain."

She was dressed differently; no tweed suit, no jumper, she had on pretty brown blazer, dark brown pleated miniskirt and crisp white blouse. She was wearing glasses and not contacts. She was being different. Had I done that? 

I helped her with her coat and watched as she left the office. I felt good. Jeannie made me feel good.

Later that evening I pulled into her parking lot. She was waiting in what seemed to be her customary place at the big glass door. I got out of my car as she came down the concrete steps. I closed my driver's side door and stepped to the sidewalk. I held up my hands, "What do you think you're doing young lady?"

She stopped and just looked at me. She said, "I don't..."

I said, "Turn around and go back upstairs. Your apartment is 303 I believe. Go back upstairs, back inside, take off your coat, and sit wherever it is you sit. I'll be right up. I'll knock. You wait. I'll knock again. Only after I knock the second time are you to come to the door."

She looked confused so I cleared it up for her, "Anyone as beautiful as you needs to keep their date waiting. Since I'm your date I expect to have to wait. I'll pretend to grumble under my breath. It'll remind me how lucky I am to have such a lovely woman on my arm tonight. When you open the door I'll say something like 'my, my, aren't you beautiful'. Then I'll help you with your coat," I held up the package that held her corsage, "I won't put this on you till we get inside the club. I don't want it smooshed."

She gave me another of her fabulously beautiful smiles, turned and started back toward her apartment. I waited till I saw her at her apartment door on the third floor before I started up. 

I got to her apartment door and I knocked. I reached out and checked the time on my wristwatch. I waited a full twenty seconds before I knocked again. 

Jeannie opened her door. "Why hello stranger," she said. She stepped back to allow me room to get in.

I looked around her apartment. Here I saw was a woman with impeccable taste. Her living room and dining room adjoined in an L shape. I got a glimpse of her kitchen off to the left. The furniture all looked like Queen Anne's. I didn't really know, but I knew what I saw was stylish but subdued. I asked, "Are we ready?"

Jeannie said, "Let me get my coat."

She got it, and I helped her put it on. I marveled at what she had on. It was more than just a woman's 'typical' little black dress. What she had on took my breath away. Sexy? No! Revealing? Absolutely not! But tailored to a tee, smooth as silk, or in this case I thought satin. Just before I helped her with her coat I asked, "Would you?"

She knew what I wanted. She did a gentle pirouette that revealed everything, that was everything and nothing. The dress came just below her clavicles in front and then relaxed comfortably on her shoulders. The back came to just above her waist. The hem rested demurely just above her knees. In short, she was a 'knock out'.

Her hair was in one thick braid that hung down her back. She had on a hint of shadow that enhanced those enormous green eyes of her. The only word I could think of that adequately described her was elegant. 

I told her, "You look elegant. I mean graceful. You're a red headed Grace Kelly." I always thought Grace Kelly was the most beautiful dead woman in the world. 

With her coat on and securely buttoned I asked, "Shall we go?"

She nodded and said, "If it pleases you."

Believe me I was pleased. I held out my arm. She rested her hand in the crook of my elbow.

~~v~~

The party was the best thing that happened to me in years. Maybe in my whole lifetime.

When we got to the club a band was playing an assortment of 'calm' country hits, Forties oldies, and a range of 'out of step' rock and roll tunes. I was pleased at the mixture of fast and slow tunes. 

Every eye, I mean every single eye was on Jeannie and me when we walked in. Not many people expected me to show up, and to show up with Jeannie Dunlap? Well one can only guess at what people were thinking. 

People gathered first in the lobby area where we were treated to crackers and cheese and drinks. After a few minutes munching and imbibing we all made our way to main dining room. I was a supervisor of sorts so Jeannie and I got to sit at the 'first' table. There were twelve people all around. Most were older. Jeannie was the youngest woman. I was the second youngest man.

Everyone either thought they knew or suspected something about Jeannie's reputation, but the wives bosses were gracious. For her part Jeannie was warm and friendly. I surreptitiously listened in to their conversations; she agreed when it was good to be agreeable and she deferred when deference was most in order. All the wives liked that.

I felt oddly uncomfortable. She was supposedly this slut, but there was nothing in her demeanor of the sort. She was the epitome of gentility. She was my date, and she was a hit. I was kind of proud, and it seemed like I shouldn't be. It occurred to me how much I liked her, I enjoyed the envious looks we were getting from the more distant tables. There was a dissonance to the whole thing that didn't make sense. 

I'd already had three Jim Beam and cokes when they showed up with the food. We ate the customary 'rubber' chicken, pork tenderloin, green beans with almonds, and parsley potatoes. By the time dessert showed up I'd had two additional glasses of champagne plus a fourth Jim Beam. I've always been proud about my ability to hold my liquor, but I had to admit I was feeling a little woozy. I looked at Jeannie and then it occurred to me; it was time to dance. Oh shit.

Geez, Jennie and I got out there, and I have to admit I really did myself proud. I didn't miss a step. When the band played a two-step I two stepped. When they played a cha cha- I did the cha cha. They played a waltz and I waltzed. They played a fast one and I boogied. At one point I looked around and everyone seemed to be looking in my direction and smiling. Some were even laughing. I looked at Jeannie and asked, "What's wrong?"

She blinded me with those pearly whites. Then she froze me with her enormous green eyes and flashing lashes. She chuckled softly and said, "You're a little out of step, but that's OK. Nobody cares." 

I didn't have a clue. I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I only knew I was having the best time of my life. As I vaguely recall it at one point Jeannie and I were out on the floor all by ourselves surrounded by our colleagues and their spouses and they were all clapping their hands. Jeannie and I were doing something, the jitterbug I think, and they were cheering us on. I was dancing my heart out, but Jeannie was mostly just smiling, giggling, laughing, and I think holding me up sometimes. 

Around midnight those of us who were still around retired back to the comfort of the thick sofas of the lobby. I know we were all talking about something. I can't remember what. I know we were drinking some kind of after dinner thing. It might have been Anisette. I still don't recall. Anyway what happened after that was kind of murky. Jeannie told me the next morning.

~~v~~

Here's what she told me. 

Jeannie said a little after midnight I was too tired to keep up. She let me lay my head on her shoulder and then her lap, and that's where I stayed until it was time to close. She said I snored a little, and once snuggled my head down between her thighs. She said a couple of our coworkers half carried and half walked me to my car where they tucked me in the passenger's seat. 

Jeannie told me she drove me to her apartment where some other people she didn't know helped her carry me up to her apartment. She said she undressed me and put me in her bed. She slept on her couch. I woke up a little after 11:00 a.m. with one hellacious hangover. I didn't remember any of it.

I do sort of remember Saturday. I spent all that day at Jeannie's, mostly sleeping and whining. She said she spent most of the day feeding me tomato juice and coffee, and keeping a cool cloth on my forehead. She praised me on my ability to so convincingly complain about the noise and bright sunlight. At some point while I was asleep she took my keys and drove her car to my townhouse where she grabbed a few things for me to wear. 

I wasn't very hungry Saturday night, but she managed to get me to eat a spoonful or two of scrambled eggs. She drew me a bath, made me clean myself up, and then she sent me home sometime around 8:00 p.m. I left, but not before I made her promise to go out with me again. 

~~v~~

I got to work a little late Monday. Actually it was a whole lot late. I'd slept away most of Sunday, and when I got up Monday morning I couldn't find my wallet. I searched high and low. Finally I called work and they put me through to Jeannie. She told me I'd forgotten it but she'd brought it in with her. I asked her why she hadn't called and told me. She said she had. She said she'd left a message on my cell phone. It was then I realized I didn't have my cell phone either.

So it was after 10:00 when got to work. There was an email from Angela, and an in house message from the partners. The partners wanted to see me. I thought, 'Uh oh.'

I skipped Angela's email and went to see my bosses; they were in a meeting, but let me in anyway. My company has two partners; both are older men. One is Gilbert Moravia and the other is William Perth; both men are saints in my book. They stopped whatever it was they were doing and asked me to come in and have a seat. And that's what I did. I was really nervous.

Mr. Perth started, "Caden what do you remember about Friday night?"

I smiled and sort of shrugged my shoulders, "Well I know I had a good time, and..."

Mr. Moravia chuckled, "You were quite a hit."

I grinned but didn't mean it, "Jeannie said..."

Mr. Moravia didn't wait, "You know we have a morals clause in our work contract."

I knew we did, but I didn't think it would count if nothing was happening, I said, "Believe me Jeannie, I mean Ms. Dunlap and I are just office acquaintances. She needed a..."

Mr. Perth interrupted me, "We don't care. We already had this conversation with Ms. Dunlap, and she offered to quit if..."

I interrupted him, "No she can't do that. I..."

Mr. Moravia stopped me, "We already told her no. Now let me tell you what we explained to her."

I sat silently, all ears.

Mr. Moravia continued, "There's no problem as long as she doesn't claim 'hostile working environment' or 'sexual harassment'. We don't think she will. Now there could be a problem if someone else in the office feels because of any relationship she might have with you that she'd get more favorable treatment. If that happened Mr. Meadows we'll hold you accountable. Understand?"

I nodded in the affirmative.

Then Mr. Moravia added one more point, "The only other thing is if any relationship you might have were to leak out beyond these walls. Say if one of our clients, or heaven forbid, some state employee working with human relations ever got a burr up their ass, then there could be a problem."

Mr. Perth added, "What we're saying is you and Ms. Dunlap need to tread lightly. We've warned you. We don't want any trouble."

I was sweating it out. I said, "We'll be careful. I guarantee it."

Mr. Perth said, "That's all."

As I got up to go Mr. Moravia stopped me. He said one more thing, "Caden you're a good employee. You've been an example to the others, but frankly since your divorce, and in truth even before, you were never quite what we hoped for. Friday night we all saw a side of you we hadn't seen. Caden we liked it. Maybe we're wrong but Jeannie seems to be like a tonic. You be sure to be good to her. That's off the record. Treat her respectfully. You understand."

I smiled, "Yes sir I do. I guarantee, no problems."

I left realizing I'd been called on the carpet, but given an 'off hand' vote of confidence at the same time. I went back to my desk. I needed to read Angela's email, and I needed to call Jeannie on her private cell phone.

I got back and opened the email. I was surprised. Angela had been at the club Friday night. I hadn't seen her, but she'd seen me. This is what she wrote:

++++++

Dear Caden:

"Caden. I saw you last night. You were so happy. I think I remember Ms. Dunlap. You looked so happy. I admit it; I was jealous. Anyway Caden I wanted to tell you again that I love you. I've always loved you. I miss you terribly. I am so sorry for what I did. I know I made a real mess of things, and I'll regret what I did the rest of my life, but I'm glad you've landed on your feet. Please try to think kindly of me if you think of me at all. Just know that I think about you all the time. 

Love, Angela."

++++++

I admit her email made me pause and think. I read it several times, but I realized I had moved on. I also realized there might be someone else in my life. I deleted what Angela sent. It was time to look ahead. I took out my cell phone, yeah I'd found it, and I called Jeannie.

She picked up right away, "Hello Caden?"

"Yeah. I heard the bosses called you in."

She replied, "They wouldn't let me quit. I'm glad they wouldn't."

I told her, "I'm glad too. Can I see you after work?"

There was a short pause, then she said, "Well I still have an unopened bottle of wine in the refrigerator. Do you like pizza?"

I told her, "I love pizza. How about 6:00 p.m."

She replied, "Six it is. Got to go now," she turned off her phone.

I sat there and thought, 'It had only been a week! Then again, had it been just a week. We'd worked around each other for years. I had noticed her. I'd always enjoyed her presence. I'd even chosen her as a partner a few times for work projects. I had so much to say to her.' I guess tonight was the night.

The rest of the work day went pretty smoothly, at least the work part. All through the rest of the morning and afternoon colleagues were in and out bothering me about 'you know what'. I got the full range of comments and compliments from a simple thumbs up to some pretty racy remarks. Though some struck a chord here and there, I greeted every anecdote with the same bland noncommittal expression. A couple comments I found supportive, but one was negative in the extreme and frankly pissed me off. 

The best came from one of the older men, a man who'd been a part of the interview team who'd looked me over when I first came. He was close to retirement. I can't recall his exact words, not like the bad one, but he said something to the effect that, 'well Caden we've all been watching and worrying about you for some time. Friday night dispelled most of those worries. It looks like you've opened up for the right girl. Jeannie's a good girl at heart; she could be good for you,' then I recall he put his finger to his lips and added, 'this is on the Q T mind you.' 

The worst came from one of the youngest guys, Lionel Spearman, a no account I never liked. He slipped in my office and dropped off a small package. His remark went something like, 'A gift from the home team. You've got to keep the bugs away.' After he left I opened the package and found a box of prophylactics and plastic bag filled with what I assumed was some kind of antibiotic. I dropped his 'gift' in the trash. My only consolations were; first the guy's work record sucked and we'd been thinking about reorganizing in the spring, and second, at least no one introduced the topic of my 'little bugger'. 

The 'little bugger' thing preyed on my mind. If I continued to see Jeannie, and I certainly wanted to, I knew sooner or later things would get complicated. It wasn't the office gossip I was worried about; I was worried about Jeannie's inevitable reaction to my 'inadequacy'. I wrestled with that thought most of the afternoon. I couldn't imagine what would be worse; her seeing me and laughing or worse giggling, or just as bad her looking and then dousing me with some kind of pale sympathetic smile followed by an equally placid but devastating 'supportive' comment. 

Somehow I knew I had to find a way, or ways, to keep our relationship totally platonic. I liked her, I liked her a lot; but one glimpse at 'Tiny Tim' and I knew that would be that. My God it wasn't fair. Why had 'He' done this to me? 

*****

This is the end of part two. Part three is coming.



Caden's Tale Pt. 03



After work Monday I went home, took a short nap, a shower, I shaved, and just generally tidied myself up. I stood there in front of the bathroom mirror and looked down at my limp penis and thought about Jeannie. I gave up. I sat down on the toilet seat and I cried. I could really go for Jeannie, yeah I could really go for that girl, but I knew...

I drove over anyway; might as well face the music, this relationship was like the Titanic, big strong healthy guy but the propeller was too fucking small. Wasn't that it? They had the oomph and the determination; the propellers just couldn't get the thing turned in time. 

When I got there and knocked; she opened up right away. Jesus she looked pretty. She'd done her hair in a new way; it was like how those Amish women wear their hair with a bun in the back but with the hair neatly held in place on the sides by tight, very feminine braids. I wish I knew what the style was called, but with the pale green blouse, white apron that came up over her shoulders, and knee length pleated dark brown skirt I thought all she needed was one of those little white caps. Damn, even worse the apron was tied off in the back with a neat white bow. Of course, with the eyes, the ears, the smile, the cheeks, the...I couldn't come near to finishing the list, she was just so adorable. I wish...

I handed her some flowers I'd picked up on the way over, "Here," I said.

"Oh," she said, "they're lovely. I'll just get them in a vase." That's when I noticed the flowers on the table. She was one jump ahead of me.

She started toward the kitchen, "Come on in. I stopped and got some chicken. I thought, instead of pizza I'd bake tonight so it'll be a little while. You can help by snapping the beans while I get the potatoes in the oven. You like baked potatoes?"

I replied, "I love baked potatoes, but come on you don't have to go to all this trouble."

She smiled back at me while she opened her oven, "Yes I do."

While I snapped beans she washed two potatoes and put them in the oven. Then she sat down across from me and suddenly waxed serious, "Caden we've got to talk." 

I saw she was serious, but it didn't occur to me it was more than maybe concerns about the office. I said, "OK, what?"

She folded her hands on the table. She looked at me, "You're what twenty- eight maybe twenty-nine?"

"Twenty-nine," I said.

"I'm thirty-one, and an old thirty-one. I'll be thirty-two in a month. I'm older than you. You've been with the firm, what, five years?"

"That's right," I said. I started to add, "Look if you're worried about..."

"No," she said, 'It's not about our jobs. It's about us, you and me. I mean if there is an us, a you and me."

I smiled, "I think there is. I'd like to think so."

She hesitated just a second and then, "You know how many four letters words you can get from your last name?"

I was stumped, "No, never thought about it. Why?"

She said, "I can get forty-seven words from your last name. Sounds crazy I know, but you're all I seem to think about. Know what else?"

I was clueless, "No what?"

"I lied about the party. I mean I lied that I couldn't get someone to take me. I had several offers. I wanted to go with you. Know why?"

This was interesting. I wondered where she was headed, "No maybe you could tell me."

"You've been with the firm five years. I've been there eight. I remember the day you came. All the girls do. You're the kind of guy every girl dreams about. I guess what I'm saying is you're a dreamboat. But you were pretty busy; Angela you know, and then you married her. I, I mean we, we watched you change. I'm sorry but I'm glad you're divorced. I'm glad for two reasons."

I was listening. She absolutely had my attention. I said, "Go on. I'm listening."

"OK," she said, "you know what a shrike is?"

I said, "No."

"A shrike is a big predatory bird. It's said that it attacks and destroys other birds. It'll ruin another bird's nest. It'll kill their chicks. I mean they say it's a bad animal. Sometimes in stories and in movies writers will describe a woman, I mean a wife who destroys her family, who undermines and harms their own husband and their own children as being a shrike."

I'd never heard of the term and didn't know what to say, but I felt like I had to say something. It was appropriately stupid. I said, "Really."

Jeannie said, "Yes, really. From what I've heard these women don't even know they're doing it. They lie to themselves. They'll lie about everything. It's like they can't handle happiness."

I nodded and added, "You've been doing some research. I would have never thought of something like that." 

Jeannie went on, "I didn't think of it. I didn't bring it up first. Madeline O'Meara. You remember her; the woman who retired a year or so back. She was the first to use the word to describe your ex-wife. Madeline said it was like Angela had cut open your chest and was eating your insides out, and that she was so 'sick' she didn't even know what she was doing."

I reacted, "She said that?"

Jeannie kept going, "Madeline said more too. She said you were one way at work, but whenever Angela was around at parties and such you were entirely different. It was like you were afraid of her. And she explained to us how Angela used what she called 'special words' to make you act and feel insecure.

"What words? What kind of words?" I asked.

Jeannie hesitated then added, "They weren't bad words, but they were mean words. You know words that could have two meanings. She'd talk to you and say 'little man' or 'my little guy', or 'little fella'. Madeline said she was talking about...your thing. You know. Your penis. Madeline said she knew that was what she meant because Angela said things, and I heard her too. She said things like, 'you couldn't carry the water, and 'you couldn't deliver the goods.'"

I was getting nervous. I knew I was starting to perspire, but Jeannie was so wound up...

"She cheated on you. We all knew. Angela even bragged about it. She said it was fun, that she needed it. Oh Caden..."

I started to squirm. I'd just about finished the beans and decided I needed a glass of water. I got up to get a...

Jeannie reached across the table, "Oh Caden don't get mad. Please don't leave."

I responded, "I was getting a water," I pointed toward the sink.

Jeannie jumped up, "No here. I'll get it. I don't want you to go. Please don't get mad. I'm sorry. I know I went too far, but there is the second thing. The other thing I want to say."

I accepted the glass of water and took a healthy draught. I really didn't want to hear any more, but I still sat back down, "OK."

Jeannie took her chair. Suddenly I thought she looked a lot smaller. It was like she wanted to crawl inside herself. I wondered what the 'second thing' was.

Jeannie's eyes were huge. She stammered and then said, "Well I watched you...in the office...coming and going to work, the times when we worked on something together, and at the office affairs. A couple times I even followed you home." 

She paused, she hugged herself, she sighed, "Well I guess...I know it sounds stupid I pretended you'd deliberately chosen to be with me on some of the projects, that like you'd picked me out. I guess...well I sort of...I kind of...," 

She was barely whispering. Her voice was so low and quiet I could hardly hear her.

She said, "Oh, I just, I guess, I just, well...I sort of...fell in love..."

I was shocked. I replied, and maybe a little too loudly, "You what? You mean with me?"

Jeannie sniffed and fidgeted, "I'm sorry. You don't have to stay..."

I blustered right back, "No I want to stay," then I got scared. My mind did flips. What if? What if she? Performance. My...what if I? 

It was my turn to stammer, "I'm very flattered. I admit I've always liked you. I like looking at, I mean being around you. I think you're sweet." 

'No,' I thought, 'I didn't mean that,' I rephrased my comment, "I mean I think I've always had a special feeling for you too. I mean you're a hard worker. Like the other Friday you were staying late loading the computer. Or like when we were compiling data this past fall regarding performance reviews. Mr. Perth and Mr. Moravia wanted somebody we could trust to keep things discreet. It was on my recommendation that they chose you to work with me. I'm saying you're very professional, and you're well...you're...very easy on the eyes, and you're..."

She said, "So we can be friends? I wouldn't..."

Stupidly I asked, "Wouldn't what?" As soon as I said it I was sorry. I didn't want to risk a good friendship because of my...if she...saw...found out.

Jeannie kept squirming. She was obviously very uncomfortable. She very softly said, "You've heard about me. My...uh...reputation. I'd like it if we could be...more...you know, but we wouldn't. I mean we couldn't because I know how men feel."

I sat back and rested my right arm on the back of the chair beside me. As I looked at her I thought, 'Such a melodious voice. Everything she says sounds like poetry'.

I had to take the edge off so I leaned forward and smiled, "I've heard. Yes. I've heard. But the things I've heard, coming from men like Lionel Spearman and Chad Everest; they don't, well. They don't ring exactly true."

It was Jeannie'd turn to sit back, "Lionel Spearman. I knew it had to be him. Can I say something and you not get mad or call me a liar?"

"I won't call you a liar," I said.

"Look I'm not a virgin. Gee, I lost that right after high school. I was pretty 'fast' you know? I think when my dad died I lost it; and I lost any ambition to do anything except get in trouble. I never broke any laws or stuff, but I did things that hurt me. I ran around. Then with help from my mom, my aunt, and especially my brothers I got back on track. I went back to school and learned a little English literature, but mostly I learned a lot about myself. I got through at Frostburg, applied at a lot of places and got a job here with Moravia and Perth. Caden I was back to being serious about my life."

I nodded; it felt somehow good to hear all this. She was really opening up.

"Caden," she added, "I came to work at Moravia & Perth and I fell in love. This was before you came. Anyway I thought it was love. What it turned out to be was how I got dicked around by the office Casanova. He was good too. I believed everything he said. Then he got tired of me, he dumped me, changed jobs, and got married. I was so down!"

I said, "I bet it must have hurt."

"It did, oh it did," she said, that was when Chad showed up. The Casanova must have told him things because Chad really turned on the charm. He got me on the rebound. I was so stupid. Yeah Chad Everest 'got me'. Then I heard he was telling everybody about it, and how easy I was. I got mad and dumped him; that was when Lionel started. I wasn't having it. He got impatient and said he wanted to fuck. I told him to fuck off. He got pissed and started spreading rumors that he'd gotten me too, and that I was really easy, a tramp."

I guess I must have looked a little disgusted. I kept thinking Chad Everest, and then Lionel Spearman?

Jeannie brought me back to earth, "OK, Chad 'got me', but for sure not Lionel, but he kept gabbing, and pretty soon, well you know the rest. Now I'm the office whore. All right I admit it; Chad got me, but he took advantage. Lionel's just a creep."

She paused, clasped her hands together and said, "You can leave now if you want. I wouldn't blame you if you did." 

I reached across the table and took her two hands, "If you don't get the chicken in soon it'll be midnight before we eat, and then I'll be late for work again."

So we got the chicken going, and we had a tasty dinner. Jeannie apparently liked to cook, and I was good with that. I wondered if she had any other 'domestic' inclinations, but I figured tonight wasn't a good night for any more discussion. 

After dinner we curled up in her sofa and watched some stupid stuff on the LMN, that's the women's' channel. The History Channel had something on about Russia in World War Two, but I'd already seen it a couple times so I guess the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks thing was OK. 

We didn't exactly cuddle, but Jeannie had her head on my shoulder and I let my arm rest over her back on the sofa. We didn't touch much, and I was glad of that. She said she was sorry a couple times. I guess she was sorry for giving it up to Chad Everest. Honestly, I couldn't quite get my brain around that. 

Chad Everest was a mountain all right; a mountain of shit. Thinking about him and Lionel talking about Jeannie made me want to punch them both right in the nose. I could do it too; I have two big brothers who used to tear my ass up on a regular basis. For sure I was no marine, and I didn't have any Karate or anything, but I could always hold my own. The more I thought about it the more fun I thought it would be to see good ole Chad on his ass holding his nose with blood squirting out of it.

I left her apartment a little after 11:00 p.m. We did share a brief kiss and a promise to have dinner again real soon. We agreed on Thursday at my townhouse. I'd fix something.

When I got back to my townhouse I had a glass of Jack Daniels. It's a little tart compared to Jim Beam or Makers Mark, and it's more straight whiskey than bourbon, but sometimes I needed something like that. I thought about Jeannie, but I thought about Angela more.

The thing about the 'shrike' made sense. I could see it. Angela most certainly loved me, but she must have been afraid. Afraid of something like maybe I'd leave her so she had to find something, some way to keep me tied to her, then she fucked it up. but what about me?

Why did I ever marry Angela? Well for one thing I had fallen in love with her. I wanted to protect her. I'd watched my dad; he looked out for my mom and us boys like he was a guard dog. I wanted to be like him. Funny, now I wanted to look after Jeannie.

I tried, but couldn't fully sort it all out. I read in some literature class how people are driven by two powerful and often contradictory forces. First there's rationality; we identify a problem or a goal, and we work it all out. The second, and this is scary; there's the emotion thing. Things like anger, fear, hate, love; they trigger chemicals in the body and we end up doing things that unravel all our plans. Sometimes people do stupid things even though they know what they're doing will ruin their lives.

It was bigger than me. I decided to leave all that stuff to the philosophers.

~~v~~

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were great. Jeannie and I had worked it out that we'd cell phone at certain times, and we'd both lunch in the small office cafeteria, but we'd stake out places that kept us apart. It was neat to sit and talk to my colleagues and see her a few feet away laughing and talking with her girlfriends. Every once in a while she'd glance over in my direction, a placid little smile would flutter across her face, her girlfriends would look at my table, they'd get quiet, and then start laughing and talking again. Everybody knew something was going on, but nobody knew what and nobody said anything. 

About the two men. Chad was out of the office most of the time, but Lionel was around every day. He'd bullshitted his way around for several years, but Mr. Perth and Mr. Moravia were both on to him thanks to my and Jeannie's fall intra-office work ups. 'Too bad ole buddy', I thought. I'd probably be the one to write up his recommendation, ha, ha.

~~v~~

It's Thursday night!

Jeannie got to my house just before 7:00. I had a great meal planned; lasagna, garlic bread, and a great tossed salad with Caesar dressing. I knew it was going to be good because I'd called the best Italian restaurant in the area and had it brought over. No I don't cook.

Jeannie got in. I took her coat, and opened a bottle of great red wine. I knew the wine was top notch because it had a cork and not a twist off cap! We had the wine, and then we ate the meal. She complimented me, I showed her the packaging, and that brought even more profuse praise.

Dinner out of the way I got out the brownies I'd bought the day before. I'd kept them in the refrigerator so they'd stay fresh. We each had a brownie.

With all the food out of the way, and the plastic plates in the trash we both settled in to watch a DVD I'd picked up. It was just something I knew she'd like; "Pretty Woman" with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. I'd read where that was the all-time favorite 'woman's movie. Yes sir, I pulled out all the stops. We nibbled on some Hershey's kisses and drank some more wine while we watched the movie.

She looked as beautiful as ever in a brilliantly white blouse and dark brown slacks. I wore a white shirt, but had to change when I got tomato sauce on it. She thought that was funny. I did too. 

Before and during dinner we talked nonsense; mostly stuff about work. During the movie we didn't talk at all. I wondered how many times she'd seen the thing; she seemed to know all the lines. 

As the movie wound down I decided to bring up a more serious topic. I had my arm on the back of the couch and just over her shoulder. Our faces were very close; we had good eye contact. I said, "You know Jeannie I've thought about you a lot. I'm not saying I'm in love, but I sure do triple decker like you. I believe, given half a chance, something meaningful could happen, but I can't allow it."

She looked up at me. She blinked those big green eyes, she bit her lip and said, "I understand. Most men are like that; damaged goods and all. Go to bed with her, but nothing serious, nothing long lasting, nothing that would go anywhere," she touched my hand, "I'd like to keep trying though."

I leaned back. She didn't get it. I had to clear the air, "No Jeannie it's not you, it's me. It's about my...problem." 

She was really nonplussed. She said, "Problem? What problem?"

I thought she knew. She'd just about said as much Monday night at her apartment, "My penis. You know. Like what Angela said."

Jeannie just stared at me for what seemed like forever. Then she looked down, lifted her legs and let her nylon covered feet rest on my coffee table,. She whispered, "So you think you're...inadequate."

It occurred to me how much I trusted her. I nodded.

She folded her hands in her lap, looked at me, then looked off a little and asked, "You don't suppose I could see?"

I blundered, "You want to see? No way!"

Surprising me; she twisted around, slid off the couch, and knelt on the floor, "Lie down," she said as she started to pull me down on the couch.

I resisted, but she was adamant. She said, "No come on lie down on your back. I've seen a few. We're going to find out about this deep dark mystery."

I let her push me down. She unbuckled my belt and unzipped my fly. While she worked to get my pants down she sort of muttered, "Come on lift your butt a little and help me get these down." 

At that moment I was as much concerned about possible shit stains as I was my small pecker. I had on a pair of white boxers. I thought, 'What could be more embarrassing than to not only have to admit to a humiliatingly small cock, but then to have stained drawers as well.'

I desperately pleaded, "No Jeannie. Please don't."

She just wasn't listening. She got my pants and drawers down around my ankles. 

I was stupid. I let her. 

So there it was! My dick in all its horrifying smallness for her to see. At least my pants hadn't been stained. I looked down and saw the shamefully insignificant thing and felt terrible. I wished I was dead. I said, "There. Satisfied. See what I mean?" 

Jeannie looked confused, she said, "No I don't get it."

I said, "Well look. Can't you tell? What do you see?'

She said, "I see your penis."




Caden's Tale Pt. 03



I said, "Well?"

She said, "You've been circumcised."

I said, "And?"

She said, "It's pink."

I went on, a little louder, "And?"

She said, "It's flaccid."

I started to lean up, but she pushed me back down. She was stronger than she looked. She said, "There's nothing wrong with what you've got."

I thought, 'Oh sure. Here it comes. This is when she starts in with the sympathy and the quiet remarks; the all too deprecating words like nice and cute. I'd heard them all a million times from Angela.' 

I was surprised, she didn't. 

She kept looking at it and asked, "Can I touch it?"

Shit! This was a joke. I said, "Sure."

Jeannie took her right hand and put her fingers in her mouth. Then she took her moistened index finger and tall man and gently; I mean softly started to touch the tip of my penis. Nature took its course, and I started to get an erection. 

She was sure gentle and it didn't take long. After maybe six or seven seconds she looked at me and said, "Here quickly. Hold it in your hand like you're going to masturbate."

Jesus H. Christ! This was too much! I still did what she said though. I wrapped my right hand around my wiener.

Jeannie sat back, "There that wasn't so bad. So what's the problem?"

I was starting to shrink. I looked at her and said, "Can't? Couldn't you see?"

She said, "Yeah. I saw it all. You're fine. I don't get it."

She was stringing me along. This was some kind of sick joke. I almost yelled at her, "I don't need this shit. I've been through enough of this as it is. Christ my wife..." I tried to get up.

She surprised me again. First she pushed me back down again. There wasn't a whole hell of a lot I could do with my pants twisted down around my ankles. Then she popped up and got back on the couch with her lap just above my head. She said matter of factly, "You can pull your pants up now." 

She helped me with my drawers. She helped me sit back up. She seemed kind of impatient. She wasn't being very warm. She pounced, "Look I have two brothers. You think I never saw a dick before? I've been with other men. Not a lot but enough. I think I know my dicks. There's nothing wrong with you."

I said, "Oh bull shit..."

She shut me up, "Listen asshole. What do you think you're supposed to have? A cannon? Think about what you just did. You had your whole hand wrapped around your dick. Yeah? You did didn't you?"

I wondered what she was up to. I nodded.

"Listen 'shit for brains'," she wasn't being very nice, "you've got big hands. Hold your right hand up." 

I did. 

"Crap," she snapped, "you've got a four inch wing span in your palm. You had an inch of dick under that, and your 'meatus', that's the head of your dick 'dickhead' was an easy inch, maybe inch and a half above."

I didn't know what she was talking about or driving at. I sat there like an asshole.

Jeannie hit me right between the glans, "So look. I saw a six maybe six and half inch dick. What do you think you need? Damn it Caden. You're perfectly normal. You're exactly where you need to be."

I cut in, "No. My wife said, and I can see every time when I look..."

She cut me off, "When you what? When you look down. When you look down at anything it always looks smaller. Don't be such an asshole! Shit Caden every time I look down at my chest I see my boobs; it's depressing, but I don't hide in my apartment. I've seen my brothers hundreds of times."

She was really on a roll; it was fun to watch.

She went on, "Damn it Caden my dad died, and it was just me, mom, and my brothers. We had one bathroom. It may sound sick, but when I was still back home I used to spy on them. They'd go in the bathroom and masturbate, or they'd play with themselves and get hard."

I interrupted, "Well I've seen movies..."

She snatched the conversation right back, "Yeah. Oh yeah! You've seen porn movies. What's the code with those guys? I read about it; they're all 8-80. They've got to be eight inches long and stay hard for eighty minutes. Ever watched the girls in those movies. They all yell and pretend, 'oh give it to me, give it to me!' But look at their faces; they're all in pain. Geez Caden eight inches hurts!" 

I just sat there.

Jeannie finished me off, "Damn it Caden you're an asshole. No you're not an asshole; you're a stupid asshole! There's not a God damn thing wrong with you. Your equipment is OK. No it's good. Shit Caden a woman's vagina can only hold about five maybe six inches. After that it hurts; that is unless she's some kind of size queen, and most women aren't."

She got up. I could tell she was upset. No angry, like totally pissed off. She was angry with me. She walked over toward the closet where I'd put her coat. She got her coat out and turned back, "Well aren't you going to see me to the door?"

I got up and walked over, "Gee Jeannie. I'm sorry. You're not leaving are you?"

We were at my front door. She stopped and turned her head up to me, "You know how I feel about you. I hope we cleared up some of this asshole shit you've got going on. God I'd like to be with you, but not tonight, not any time soon. We have to talk some more. You've got problems. Issues! And I've got...other 'needs' of my own," she started out the door.

As she stepped on the front porch I called after her, "You mean it. About my..."

Jeannie turned back around. Walked back up to the door. She grabbed my chin and shook my face, then she kissed me and said, "You really are thick." Then she turned and walked toward her car.

As she walked away I hollered, "Saturday! All day!"

She spun around. Laughing she said, "Let's go shopping and do an I-Max!"

I shouted and waved, "You got it!" 

And then she was gone.

I went back inside and leaned up against the door. I said out loud, "I'm OK! I'm OK! Well 'she' thinks I am." 

I went straight back to my bedroom. I ripped off all my clothes and jerked off. The whole time while I pounded my hound all I thought about was this red haired girl with the big green eyes. I thought about Charlie Brown and 'his' cute little red haired girlfriend. Damn! Things might be looking up! Looking up indeed!

~~v~~

Friday morning I broke one of our rules and I emailed Jeannie while we were at work. I lived in Columbia, and she didn't live far. It was nearly Christmas, the weather was holding up, the malls were packed, and there were several I-Max theaters. We settled on something we could drive to and not get caught in a ton of traffic. I was to pick her up at 11:00. 

~~v~~

Saturday was at hand, and for the first time since I didn't know when all I could think about was a woman. Was she really and truly a redhead? I got to her house, she was ready and waiting just inside the big glass doors. This time I didn't make her go back upstairs. I escorted her down the sidewalk, helped her in my car, and we were on our way. 

I hadn't had such a good day in a long time. We shopped. We had a light lunch. We toured an old mansion that was said to be haunted. She pretended to scare me by disappearing and then making spooky sounds. We bought some souvenirs, saw a totally boring movie at the I-Max. Not even the big screen and '3D' saved that cropper. Then we started for home. On the way back we stopped at a Deli and bought some sandwiches. We got back to her apartment, we ate, and then we had that other 'important talk' she thought we needed. And yes, she was right, we needed it.

Back at her place we munched down two corned beefs with mustard accompanied by big dill pickles, cups of Maryland crab soup, Utz potato chips, and Dr. Peppers. We wrapped up the debris, threw it in the trash, and moved to her living room.

When we got there Jeannie sat beside me on her sofa and said, "You know there's another man in my life."

Oh no! It was Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and Dresden all over again. Was there another boyfriend? Did she have a child? I said, "What?" 

She smiled, "Want to meet him?"

I replied, "Do I have to?"

Her reply, "Wait here," and she disappeared into her bedroom. Seconds later she came out with a package. She opened the package, pulled away some tissue and pulled out a pink dildo. Holding the thing up to me she said, "Caden this is Pat. Pat's been my special friend for the last few years. In fact he's been my only man friend, and there's a reason. Do you want to know the reason Caden?"

As she concluded her last sentence, which was a question, she handed me her friend. I took the thing and replied, "Yes, I'd like very much to know why this has been your only man friend."

Jeannie leaned sideways on the couch; it made her breasts softly undulate beneath her blouse. The movement was very disturbing for me. I could faintly trace the outline of her nipples against the thin material. 

Damn her. She stopped moving, keeping her eyes on mine she took her hands and softly wafted the tips of her fingers over her breasts. She murmured, "That better?"

I gently chuckled, "You bitch."

She grinned and put her hands in her lap. Then, but only after I gave up on her breasts and looked her in the eye did she start to explain, "I told you about Chad and what he did and said. After him, and especially after Lionel with his lies I decided I was through with men. Gee Caden I'd fallen in love two times and had walked away a loser after both. I swore never again. I'd never commit my heart to any other man; that is until I found the one who I thought I could really commit to."

I nodded and agreed with her by saying, "I can get that. I thought Angela was always going to be there for me. I guess I gave up too."

Jeannie waited for me to finish, then she went on, "I suppose I made a kind of mental list; a list about the kind of man I really wanted."

I started to agree with her but...

She said, "Just shut up a minute. I need to tell this."

I nodded, "OK."

"Caden I decided the man I wanted had to want the same things I did." 

She squirmed around a little more; just enough to me another glimpse of soft flesh outlined under thin fabric. Then she said, "I want someone I know I'll always be able to trust. Someone who'll always be there for me. Someone who'll put me first, a man who'll never betray me, a real man, a man who'll never cut out, someone who'll always be faithful and loyal. You know."

I was with her every step of the way, but this was an opportunity I knew I'd never get again. I said, "You want a dog." 

She punched me right in the chest, and it hurt! Then she blinked her eyes, smiled and said, "No Caden I want the white dress with the long train and the veil. I want someone who'll get down on one knee and hand me 'the ring', someone who'll want the big wedding, a guy who'll want to talk about names for our kids, and not just one or two, maybe five or six. I want to be able to quit work, stay home, bake chocolate chip cookies, sew dance outfits, complain about the rattle in the mini-van, join a church, and teach Sunday school. I want someone who'll argue with me about where we'll go for vacation, the design of the wallpaper, where to put the television, and..."

I reached over and grabbed her hands, "You can stop now. I get it."

She looked at me. I added, "You can tell Pat he can leave. You've found who you've been looking for."

She took her hands and flipped them around so she was holding mine, "You mean it?"

"You know I do."

"You wouldn't?"

I could see she was scared, "Jeannie I've been where you've been. Had it happen and didn't like it," I watched her visibly fold in on herself, the release was apparent. I added, "When can I meet your family?"

Jeannie leaned against the sofa. With her right hand she pulled me in. I felt her soft sweet lips on mine. No tongues, no lust, no heavy breathing, just the warm easy going honeyed presence of two sets of lips sharing something incredibly special. Nothing else happened for a long time; just a series of heartfelt tender slow kisses. 

I knew what was happening, how I felt, who I wanted and how I wanted her. This wasn't going to be for one night; no this was like nothing I'd ever felt before, not even with Angela. I pulled her as close as I could. I pressed my cheek against hers, my mouth was pressed beside her ear. I thought I had something to say, but she had such a feminine, not sexy, but such a demure aura about her. Her skin seemed to glow. It felt warm. I was holding her, but it was she who drew me in. We kissed and embraced.

She started to move to get up, but I pulled her back down. I knew what she intended. I whispered, "No, there's plenty of time. Let's stay here."

She fell into my arms and on my lap. She was so light; frothy was the word that came to mind. She was like the white foamy filmy ocean water that billows all around after a wave has broken near the shore; it was that wispy bubbly sudsy sensation one gets when standing in the bright sunlight on a pleasant sandy beach, a place where everything is perfect and just as I imagined it would be. I remembered riding the 'Maid of the Mist' at Niagara Falls; all the foam covered rocks, the damp wet bracing and embracing coverlet of haze, a million tiny droplets of moisture swirling and whirling around kissing my face. She was the wind, the sun, the sky.

We slowly undressed each other. She was thin, but not bony. She had the complexion of buttermilk, a rich creamy dreamy kind of presence. She had the kind of soft pliant body that when touched, when caressed, has that rich full feeling like butter sliding over one's pallet. All I wanted to do was smooth my hands over her, feel her, touch her, and love her.

Her hands and feet were small, delicate. There was a willowy sensuality about her, no not sensuous in some hot and hard way, no, she was 'the woman from the sea', a mythical goddess washed to shore on a lustrous sea shell. She was Aphrodite; ethereal, transcendent, perfect. 

Her breasts were like rose buds; dark nipples, light brown aureole, soft, round, glorious. Each one a mouthful, just a mouthful; I wanted to swallow them whole. I wanted to feel the sensation of having each melt in my mouth. 

I couldn't wait. I picked her up in my arms. I carried her to the bedroom. She'd already turned the spread and sheet down. She must have known. I laid her down on the soft fabric. We cuddled, we nuzzled, and we made love. The tender pink of her vagina, the red of her nether hair; it all matched everything I'd imagined. Her crease was small, thin, wet; like a soft succulent flower, a rose, a beautiful pink rose.

I pressed my manhood against her labia. She opened her legs to receive me. She was small and tight; like I'd imagined a virgin's heartland might be. As I pushed in I felt a surge of moisture. She breathlessly pushed against me. She made soft mewling sounds; not loud abrasive shrieks, not moans, no, more like deep fulsome sighs. I pushed deep and up and inside; her cavern wrapped tightly, pressing in all around me. I never felt more alive!

Unexpectedly she seemed to shudder, to quake, to tremble. Her head was against me. I felt her tears. She bit my shoulder. She whimpered, and then she collapsed. In that second I lost myself. I was in the moment. I ejaculated. A torrent of fluid left me. I'd thought to be more careful. I had no idea; was she prepared, was she on the pill? I should have asked, I should have confirmed. It didn't matter, it was done.

We lay there together, side by side. We continued to kiss, to cuddle, to fondle, to explore. I felt happy, complete. I was home. We eventually drifted off to sleep. There was no 'big second time' that night; only two people asleep, bodies spooning, arms entwined, companions, two souls held together by love. 

~~v~~

The next morning's love making was more slap happy, with laughing, teasing, tickling, and giggling and more snuggling. I had one of the very few premature ejaculations of my life. I didn't ask, but we'd just finished another languid moment. I was limp and all relaxed, feeling lethargic. I looked at the clock it was close to 11:30. I lay there; eyes half closed with her head under my right arm. I was smoothing the palm of my hand over her right breast, and watching her nipple grow when she took her right hand and slowly started using her fingers to circle around my 'meatus', neat word I thought. It felt so good. I was firming up again.

Jeannie sat up a little and slowly leaned down toward my dick. I watched; wondering what she had in mind. I'd enjoyed having a woman's mouth on my penis in the past. That was something Angela liked to do too, but she was a biter. I remembered sometimes I thought Angela just wanted to bite it off. 

Jeannie slowly placed her lips on the head of my 'man'. She kissed it. Then she took her tongue and licked around it. It was all over. Just like that I was no good; sperm went everywhere.

I cried out, "Christ I'm sorry Jeannie!"

She smiled up at me, "Did you like it?"

I grinned, "What do you think?"

She had semen on her face; some was running down her chin. She didn't wipe it off; she laid her head on my stomach and took her fingers and started to scoop off what was on my stomach and chest. She put it in her mouth and swallowed it. Honest, I felt like a king. No one had ever loved me this much.

It was Sunday; the first day of the week, our first day. A while later we were having some scrambled eggs when I asked her, "Are you on the pill or anything?"

She didn't look at me, "No."

I played it straight. I took my hand and started to count out the months on my fingers, "Let's see, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September," when I got to the end I frowned and said, "I guess a June wedding's out."

She looked up. She looked scared, "What?"

I said, "June, you'll be six months. The white dress probably won't fit. We'll have to plan something for the early spring; that is if you say yes and your mom and brothers approve." 

She said, "Are you asking?"

I grinned at her, "Yes and no." She had a puzzled look on her face.

I added, "See here. I got the requirements the other night. I, no, we need to get a ring, then I have to ask your mom for permission. Once that's out of the way we'll do something formally. You OK with that?"

She didn't say anything, but she took her fork, put some egg on it and flicked it at me. Then she smiled and said, "Wow, have you got egg on your face. Of course I'm good with that, but what about work?"

I crossed my eyes, "Don't worry. I'll handle that."

~~v~~

So we had our first weekend together. How could it get any better? It would I just didn't know much yet. 

We spent that Sunday afternoon talking about where we'd live, and how I'd handle things at work. We agreed, since my house was roomier we'd move her stuff in with me. We compared furniture. There were things she especially liked, and there were things I liked. We agreed on a storage unit for the rest. 

We agreed to wait a week or so to actually make the move. She was ready right away, but I held off. I told her I wanted to meet her family and talk to her mom so she called and set things up for the next week. We'd go to Hagerstown where her mom and aunt lived. Her brothers would meet us there. Both her brothers were married and they had kids so it looked like it would be pretty big thing. And it was. 

Was I rushing things? Well we'd watched the old Meg Ryan Billy Crystal movie "When Harry Met Sally" and I remembered the New Year's thing. What was it he said; 'When you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you want the rest of your life to start right away.' That was me. 

We all got together Christmas Eve afternoon. It was a week night, it was a burden for Jeannie's brothers and their families, but everyone managed to be there. I was surprised, though Jeannie is such a little person her brothers were both as big as me. I'm over six feet. Her mom and her aunt were small. Her mom had light brown hair and brown eyes, but her aunt looked just like Jeannie. 




Caden's Tale Pt. 03



Everyone was nice to me. I think her mom was a little unsure. I didn't say too much; I knew the only way to remove the uncertainty was with time and good behavior, and I couldn't think of anyone I wanted more to be good to than Jeannie. I got the expected lecture from the brothers. They weren't especially friendly, but I knew I could fix that. I did get one good one in. Her older brother said something about them not expecting me to put her some kind of pedestal. I told them she was already on the pedestal when I met her. I think that helped.

I'd sneaked off one day without Jeannie and bought 'the ring'. I know I said we'd do it together, but I was too excited. I didn't want to be showy. Besides I wasn't exactly rich. I found a good one, a perfect stone, just a carat, some kind of special setting, and I had it in a box ready for the right time at the dinner. I waited till her mom brought out the pies before I made my proposal.

Just as her mom was bringing out the desserts I held up my left hand and said, "Could you wait just a second?"

Her mom said, "Sure I guess. Why?"

I got out the box, "I have something here," yeah I'm an ass, but Jeannie said she wanted the 'whole show'. I got the box out, got down on one knee, opened the box, took out the ring, and asked, "Jeannie will you marry me?"

She knew it was coming. She smiled, she held out her hand and whispered, "Yes I'll marry you."

I slid the ring on, got up, and we kissed. One of her nephews, one of my soon to be nephews, made a smooching sound and everyone laughed. 

I smiled at her. She smiled at me, and all I could think about was a book my mom made me read when I was in high school, it was called "Pilgrim's Progress"; it was by a guy named John Bunyan. In the book the story starts out with this man named 'Christian' who was trapped in what he called 'the slough of despair'. At the end of the book he was on his way up the hill to the 'Celestial City'. The book is an allegory about the average Christian's struggle through life till he or she ultimately gets to Heaven. I remember hating to have to read it back then. Now I thought about my life. A few months ago my first wife found me inadequate, she'd cheated on me, she'd literally dumped me. I'd been left in that 'slough of despair.' Now I was at an older woman's dinner table looking at the woman who'd soon be my new wife, and I knew I'd reach the 'Celestial City'.

~~v~~

Jeannie and I talked about work, and she agreed to let me handle things. We kept everything under wraps for the week before our meeting with her family so we didn't have to face the office till after Christmas. 

On our first day back from Christmas Jeannie and I drove in together. We walked in the office side by side holding hands. Jeannie made sure everyone saw what she had on her finger. She went to her desk, and I went to my office and called Mr. Perth. I asked if I could see him and Mr. Moravia as soon as it was convenient. By 10:00 a.m. I was seated in a chair at the table in the conference room. 

Mr. Perth asked, "Well what's on your mind. Is there a problem?"

I was as nervous as a butterfly. I said, "Jeannie Dunlap and I are engaged to be married."

Both men were up and out of their chairs at the same time. They were all over me; patting my back and shaking my hand. Mr. Perth picked up the phone and called out to his secretary and asked her send for Ms. Dunlap. A couple minutes later Jeannie was there too. She looked scared. My guess was she figured one of us would have to go. We'd already planned for that.

Mr. Perth and Mr. Morava were all over her too. They each kissed and gently hugged her. They congratulated the two of us.

I asked, "Is this going to create a problem?"

The two bosses looked at each other. Mr. Moravia spoke first, "We'll have to have a little party."

Mr. Perth interjected, "Nothing elaborate. Maybe a little cake and people can bring some gifts."

Mr. Moravia added, "We could do it Friday. Get it out of the way before New Year's."

I glanced at Jeannie. She and I never expected anything like that. I said, "No I mean, us being married and working together." 

They were ignoring me. Mr. Perth said to Mr. Moravia, "You put out a memo. I'll get my secretary to order a cake. We can make that punch; the stuff with the sherbet. We'll close the office a little early."

I said again, "What about problems?"

Mr. Moravia said, "What problems? You work in different departments. Everyone knows you've been seeing each other since our Christmas party, and you've handled that pretty well. So now you're out in the open. So what could go wrong?"

Then Mr. Perth added, "There will probably be children, but we have maternity leave, and if Jeannie wants to take some time off to raise your children we'll find something for her when she's ready to come back."

Jeannie and I looked at each other again. I said, "Thank you Mr. Perth. Thank you Mr. Moravia."

Jeannie added, "Oh yes thank you."

Mr. Perth concluded the meeting with a wry remark, "We like the two of you. You're both hard workers, reliable, and you've kept your noses clean. We wouldn't want to lose either of you. You're good for the company."

Jeannie and I both, almost in unison replied, "Thank you sirs."

When the meeting ended Jeannie and I went back to our respective jobs. Later that week the office had a small party. We got a few gifts. Everyone wanted to know when. Jeannie and I had settled on a tentative date in April. We weren't completely sure since we needed a church.

The last and least things on my list of 'to dos' at the office was dealing with Chad and Lionel. It turned out that never happened. Both men bent over backwards to kiss my ass, and both did their damnedest with their Jeannie groveling. No, no warning or revenge was necessary.

I'd turned a corner. My life had changed. But there were still a few surprises.



Caden's Tale Pt. 04



Revenge can be an ugly thing, but sometimes, as they say 'revenge can be sweet'. My first wife really had been what Mrs. O'Meara called her, a shrike. For some reason I'll never understand Angela had decided she could never be faithful and she decided she needed an excuse. Her excuse had been her 'alleged' dissatisfaction with my manhood. She'd torn me up on that. She very nearly ruined if not ended my life. I remember for a long while how much I hated her. Why had she even married me? However, once Jeannie came into my life those concerns became moot. Angela had her demons. Maybe she was what Jeannie mentioned - a 'size queen'. Then again maybe she just couldn't 'get off' like other women? I realized those were her problems, not mine. I learned I had to move on.

Now I thank God every day for Jeannie. She showed me there'd never been anything wrong with me. 

I looked it up on the Internet, and I know the Internet never lies. It said all men have some level of insecurity about their ability to perform. Men with small penises, I guess, are afraid they can't measure up. Most men worry at one time or other they might just be a little bit too small, and there's always a time or two, usually thanks to alcohol or tension when no matter how hard a guy tries the hydraulics just won't work. Then men with large penises are afraid they'll hurt 'the right girl' and lose her. And every man worries about the day when he just might not be able to 'get it up' at all. 

Still I always felt like there was some unfinished business when it came to Angela. I knew that if the opportunity ever came I'd pay her back. The opportunity came in March, just a month before my marriage to Jeannie. It was totally unexpected.

I'd moved on. My marriage to Angela had become a memory. Sometimes I felt bad about how it came out. Usually I just tried to put the bad things aside and remember the good, and there had been a lot of good things once.

Then one night. I guess it was around 8:00 p.m. I remember it was a blustery March night; still winter and everyone was impatient for spring when our doorbell rang. Jeannie and I were still living in the townhouse, but we'd put in a contract on something we both liked. Jeannie was pregnant.

Jeannie went to the door and opened it. She called back, "Caden its Angela, and she doesn't look good."

"What," I said.

I heard Angela's voice. She sounded harsh, no she sounded upset, scared. Jeannie ushered her in. God what a mess. She looked awful! She wasn't wearing an overcoat, and her clothes were wet and soiled. Jeannie had to help her to a chair. She got her comfortably seated in one of the lazy boys; we had two.

I came in, "God Angela what happened. What are you doing here?"

Jeannie scolded, "Caden."

I ignored the scold, "Jesus, what happened to you?"

Angela started coughing. She looked feverish. She looked like somebody had slapped her around. Shit it looked like someone had beaten the crap out of her. I asked again, "What happened."

She said, "I met a man. I thought...well I let him move in...Big mistake."

What's his name? He did this to you," I asked?

Angela kept coughing, "Names Donovan Fischer. Oh Caden. I made a mistake. He's mean."

I said, "He beat you up like this?" 

She coughed again and nodded, "He kicked me too. I think he broke something."

Jeannie had gotten some cloths and warm water. She was wiping my ex-wife's face. I could see she was going to have a black eye. I asked, "Do your parents know? Why didn't you go to them? Why didn't you call the police?"

Angela was crying. She was holding Jeannie arm, "Oh Caden I can't let my parents see me like this. God Caden they're still mad about what I did to you. They said Donovan was bad news. I just didn't listen. I never listen. The police? I'm afraid. You know they won't do anything. Oh Jesus I can't go home."

I asked again, "He's at our old house?"

Angela nodded. She coughed some more.

"You said his name's Donovan Fischer. What's he look like?"

Angela couldn't stop coughing or crying, "He's not like you. He's ugly, and he's fat. He thinks he's tough."

I looked at Jeannie, "Honey get Angela to the hospital. She might have cracked a rib," I turned back to Angela, "You say he's at our old house?"

Angela nodded. I was reaching for my coat. Jeannie asked, "What are you going to do?"

I told her, "I'm going to go see Mr. Fischer. I'm going to get him out of Angela's house."

Jeannie said, "Don't do anything to...you know."

I smiled at Jeannie. I got down on my knees in front of Angela. I said to her, "Not to worry. I'll handle this," I looked back to my fiancé, "See that she gets some help. I'll call you when I'm done." I could see the worried look on Jeannie's face. Angela looked scared too. I reassured them both, "It'll be all right." 

I left the house, got in my car and drove the distance to where I used to live. Things still looked pretty good. I guessed Angela had hired a lawn service. I parked my car on the street and walked to the front door and knocked. After a short interval the door opened and a somewhat smallish man, a little overweight stood eyeing me up and down.

He said, "Yes? May I help you?"

I'd never met a woman beater, but I had heard they could be pretty smooth. I asked, "Are you Mr. Donovan Fischer."

He nodded, "Yes. Who are you and what do you want?"

I didn't answer. I pushed inside. Fischer was shorter than me. I had about a hand's worth of reach on him. He was flabby, I'd been working out since I proposed to Jeannie, and I think he was half drunk. I guessed, 'That figured.' 

My first punch was downward from the shoulder. I'm right handed. Don't ask me what the punches are called. My fist landed right on the top of his nose. I wasn't wasting any time. He was on his way down when my left plowed up into his lower abdomen. Where once his hands were headed toward his exploded nose they started to move downward to his stomach. So did his head. I came down on the back of his head with both my fists locked together with all my might. He dropped like a rock.

He'd kicked my ex-wife. Shit, I was only wearing Nikes. I wished I had my wing tips on. Just the same I hurled my right foot into his rib cage just like I was kicking a football. I wished I could've heard a crack but didn't. I stepped back and watched.

He was on my ex-wife's front rug coughing, and moaning, and crying, and bleeding. I watched.

He looked up at me and said, "I'll get..."

He didn't finish. I kicked his smarmy face with my foot. He keeled over backwards. There was blood everywhere. I was breathing heavy, but I got out, "You're not getting anybody. If that's what you were getting ready to say. What you're going to do is get your ugly fucking ass out of this house. Now! Like right now! Go get your coat and your keys, find your car and never ever come back here."

He'd gotten the message. He was crawling toward the living room where I saw his coat. God I wanted to kick him again. How could the bastard do what he did? I followed him. I said, "I ever hear of you coming near Angela again I'll find you and I'll kill you!"

He looked back at me. The son-of-a-bitch was clearly scared, but I was so pissed! Unless he'd seen pictures he had no idea who I was. I had a gleeful thought that he might think I was being paid. That would help to keep him away. I followed him and with my foot pushed his mangy ass into the sofa. I yelled, "You hear me!"

Through blood and phlegm he whimpered, "Yes. I hear you." 

God I wanted to just pound on the bastard all night, but I didn't. I mean, a man hitting a woman? He got his coat. He tried to stand but fell down.

I yelled, "You want some more?"

He managed to get up and scrabble his way out the door. I followed him. I wanted to get the license number off his car. I did, and I watched as he drove away. Then I called my fiancé.

~~v~~

Angela had to call in sick. She missed a week of work. We got her to call her parents. I went back the next afternoon and checked our old house out. I called a cleaner to come and get the rug fixed if they could. Jeannie came over later and together we spent the night cleaning Angela's house from top to bottom. 

Angela stayed with us and mended for three weeks. I drove by her house every afternoon just to check. I never saw Fischer so I guess he got the message. 

What happened with Fischer seriously traumatized Angela. After three weeks she was still too scared to go home so Jeannie set her up in our spare bedroom. Fact was, Angela stayed with us till we got married. She never went home. We'd gotten the contract on the house we wanted, and turned the lease to the townhouse we'd been in over to Angela. Then she put her house up for sale. 

Angela ended up attending our wedding. She's been a close personal friend of Jeannie's ever since, and a friend to me as well. She dates around, but so far she's not found the right guy. I hope she does and gets married again some day. I'd like to be there.

I guess some people might wonder where the revenge was. I couldn't say. I suppose the best place to go for that would be to the late great 'Josephus' and his story "The Best Revenge."

The Epilogue:

Jeannie and I got married. That was some time ago. Did we have any kids? Tell me about it. We have three girls and two boys. Jeannie quit work when our first one came along; she decided not to go back. She's the mom, she's beautiful, she's sexy, and she's just terrific. 

And me? I'm livin 'large'.

P.S. By the way About Chad and Lionel; who the fuck cares?

The end.