77 comments/ 32775 views/ 25 favorites Brownwood: A Long Goodbye By: DFWBeast Author's Note: This story deals with an unwilling cuckold, although with a twist, and how he deals with it. It's also a part of the Brownwood Collection, so cross-over characters may make an appearance. My thanks to WickedInside, findingmyvoice, and Mostera1. WickedInside for her editing and findingmyvoice and Mostera1 for their input. They all have made this story better. Warning: There's no explicit sex in this one, if that's what you're lookin' for I'd skip this story. **** Spring 2005 - Brownwood A solitary, distinguished-looking man sat on the bench and gazed out over the large garden. His jet black hair was speckled with hints of silver and his weathered but handsome face showed signs of a life spent outdoors. To a stranger he appeared like a man taking in a beautiful spring afternoon, but those who knew Nathan Cordova would've noticed something was wrong. Gone was the warm gentle smile that usually adorned his face. Dark brown eyes that once announced his intelligence and wit were now lifeless and cold. They were the eyes of a man condemned to a shattered life. It was a man with no hope who stared out over the rose bushes and spring flowers. He felt the gentle April sun on his face but still shivered. It would take more than nature's warmth to give him any comfort. The sun's rays were only felt skin deep. They failed to touch the deep coldness claiming his soul. Nathan shuddered and instinctively clutched the present in his hand. It was a bonsai tree, her favorite. It signified a milestone in their marriage, an accomplishment, and an ending. A wave of emotion swept over him as he stared at it. I'm a cuckold, he thought to himself. I would've never imagined that possible. He watched the couple as they strolled by him, arm in arm. She was still quite beautiful, even in her early fifties. The absolute look of love she had as she gazed up at her escort melted the years away from her face. Her long black hair was streaked with silver and her figure could still draw the eyes of most men. But it was her beautiful face which pierced through all his defenses. Her deep brown eyes and her huge smile had once inspired him to take on the world. Now it was that same face which tore at his heart. He stared at the man who had taken his place. He was easily twenty years younger than his wife, Eva. He was tall and skinny and had an odd look about him. "Oh Bobby," Eva gushed. "I can't wait for our date Saturday night. Have you planned anything special for us?" "Uh huh," Bobby replied with a confused look on his face. Quickly the look turned into a smirk. "Yeah, something special." He grinned evilly as he slid his hand down her back until it rested squarely on her rear end. With a little pinch, he made his intentions known. Eva squealed. "Bobby Jones, you watch your hands!" she giggled as she playfully slapped his arm. She turned and gave him a deep passionate kiss. "That should hold you until our date," she said smiling broadly. Gently she placed her head on his chest and sighed as they embraced each other. Watching his wife act like a lovesick teen was surreal for Nathan. It's difficult to explain what a man feels when he sees his wife in the arms of another. Some may get sexually excited at the thought of sharing their wife, while others feel the rage that betrayal brings. Still others may sense a deep sadness due to the death of their marriage. Nathan could only empathize with the latter as he watched his wife of thirty-two years bask in the presence of her boyfriend. He felt the storm of so many emotions churning inside of him screaming to erupt. He could never have shared her. It wasn't in him since neither his heart nor his beliefs would've ever allowed that. Of course he wasn't exactly sharing her now. It had all the aspects of a bad dream, a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. He'd lost her and it appeared she wasn't coming back. It was the slow death of his marriage which brought so deep a coldness to his soul. It had been over eight years since he'd learned of his impending pain. However it had only been the last year and a half that it had become a reality. His head and his heart were in a constant battle. He understood why they were in this hell, but it didn't lessen the torment he felt watching it. He fought the dark despair by concentrating on happier times. He smiled as he remembered the first time he'd met Eva Navarro. She'd been with her family as they spent their summer in the south of Spain. At twenty, he was supervising the construction crew working on her family's villa. She'd mesmerized him the first time she spoke. Even after the work was done he'd found reasons to spend time around the eighteen-year-old beauty. Most had thought it was only a summer romance, but Eva's parents knew almost before the young couple did. They'd been able to see into their daughter's heart and knew she was completely taken with him. After meeting with him several times they were convinced he was as smitten as Eva was but they feared the couple was too still too young. When Eva and her family went back to the States, Nathan attempted to follow. He began the long process of attaining a visa. The physical distance between them caused Eva's heart to burn even more passionately for him. Soon she'd convinced her father to intercede on his behalf which included offering him a job. With the Navarro family influence, his visa process became much shorter. Soon he'd found himself in America, working on a construction crew. Two years later, they were married. It started a thirty-two year married love affair that until recently had been the envy of both family and friends. Nathan closed his eyes and wrapped himself in the warm memories of his bride. His smile slowly turned sad as he began to relive the last several years. Eight years ago, Eva had been diagnosed as being in the early stages of Alzheimer's, his beautiful bride had only been forty-four at the time. For the next several years they'd struggled with the fear and doubt that comes with such a death sentence. After countless tears and prayers with their family and the church, he and Eva sat down to make some difficult decisions. They'd sought counsel from many sources: their priest, Father Bernard, their three adult children, close friends and relatives, specialists and lawyers. Four years ago they made several changes in their lives, changes they hadn't planned to make for at least another decade. Nathan turned the family construction company over to their sons, Marcus and Antonio. He knew they would continue to make it thrive and they had. He'd left himself on the payroll so the business would help him and Eva maintain their insurance. Effectively retired, they used the opportunity to spend as much time together as possible. They weren't rich but they were very well off. Nathan decided, with Eva finally relenting, to spend some of their nest egg on traveling together. She hadn't needed to worry. The couple travelled for only about a year, and then Eva began having bad days. It was one thing to become disorientated and confused while they were within the safe confines of their ranch, but when it began happening in truly foreign surroundings, the results were disastrous. Nathan cringed as he remembered trying to calm his terrified wife while they were in Rome. They had stayed exclusively in Brownwood since then. Their ranch wasn't like the monstrosities of several Navarro ranches in the area but it wasn't tiny, either. They'd built their dream home on 200 acres a few miles northwest of Brownwood. It became their sanctuary. He grimaced as he remembered the fateful day when they realized Eva couldn't remain on the ranch. It had started like any other morning, they had eaten breakfast together. As he put the dishes away, she went to get the mail. She loved walking down the long lane to their mailbox each morning. It had been October and there was a chill in the wind, an omen of an early winter. He'd smiled as he'd watched her start to go out wearing only her nightgown. "Querida?" he'd asked, grinning. "Are you forgetting something?" She'd flashed him her megawatt smile that melted his resolve. She quickly put on her cowboy boots and headed for the door. "Eva, it's cold out there," he'd warned. She quickly ran back to their bedroom and returned moments later wearing a pair of sweatpants under her nightgown along with her boots. When she'd donned a heavy fall coat over her nightgown, the ensemble was complete, redneck chic. He smiled sadly to himself realizing his wife's excellent fashion sense had been one of the early casualties of her disease. The lane was only a hundred yards down to the mailbox and the county road. The ranch house was easily visible from anywhere along the lane. He'd watched her from the kitchen window like he had a hundred times before. She had a surreal beauty about her as her long hair and nightgown whipped in the wind. Unfortunately that morning, he'd accidentally spilled the orange juice. He'd only taken his eyes off of her for a few minutes as he cleaned up the mess, but when he looked up again she was gone! Frantically he'd raced outside but it was as if she had vanished. He'd gone back inside to see if he had just missed her but the kitchen was eerily silent. He walked down the lane calling out her name but to no avail. He racked his brain trying to remember everything he'd seen before she'd disappeared, hoping it would give some clue to her whereabouts. He'd remembered a big black pick-up truck had driven by but he hadn't seen it stop. Fighting his rising fears that she'd been abducted, he returned to their home and called his sons and daughter. Within minutes he'd begun driving along the county road in his truck looking for her. The family had searched for her for hours before he'd called the county sheriff office. Sheriff Olsen had been a good friend of their family and was aware of Eva's condition. When Nathan had called, the sheriff had brought with him several deputies to join in the search. By late afternoon, Sheriff Olsen had contacted the Brownwood police and in less than an hour half a dozen Brownwood police officers had joined the manhunt. One of the off duty officers stumbled across her a couple hours after dark in an old machine shed a few miles away from the ranch. She'd been found huddled inside, covered by some empty feed sacks. They'd taken her to Sacred Heart because she was suffering from exposure. Nathan remembered the tearful reunion. When he saw her in the Emergency Room, his heart had broken. Her hair was wild and covered parts of her face and her eyes were still wide with fear. She'd recognized him and had begun crying as she ran to him. "Querido, I'm sorry," she'd sobbed as she clung to him. "I don't know what happened. I got lost and then I ran." "Hush querida," he'd replied gently as he stroked her hair. "I have you now. You're safe." "I couldn't find you! I remember running and running. I ran until I couldn't any more. It was getting dark and I found an old shed. I went in and tried to stay warm but it was so cold!" "Shhh," he cooed softly as he held his fifty-year-old wife as she sobbed like a child. "It's over now. You're going home." It had taken the rest of the night to calm her down. As he held her he realized things were about to change. Over the next few weeks they'd discussed what they should do. It was evident she couldn't safely stay on the ranch but it didn't make the decision easier. So many nights he'd held her as she cried herself to sleep. It was only after she was asleep he'd allow his own tears to fall. How do you fight something like that? How do you protect your loved ones from an enemy with no face? He knew it was a losing battle, they both did. They were fighting an insidious enemy which took no prisoners. She'd had another bad episode the week before she was to check-in to Brookhaven. She'd become hysterical at the thought of leaving their home. He'd held her and they'd both wept as she begged him not to send her away. He'd almost given in that night but Eva woke up the next morning screaming at him. She hadn't recognized him and was upset she'd woken in bed with a stranger. His heart broke. It was time. That was eighteen months ago; since then Eva's condition had deteriorated rapidly. The first several months were difficult. Nathan had visited two, sometimes three times a day. Their children visited almost daily. The most painful were those days Eva didn't understand why he had to leave when visiting hours were over. He fought back his tears, remembering her crying and pleading with him not to leave her there. At least she's not being tormented anymore, he silently sighed. A small blessing due to the fact she doesn't remember us anymore. God, I know I should be grateful but... it hurts. Her laughter brought him out of his morose thoughts. It wasn't her laugh that'd surprised him, she was always so full of life, it was the lack of joy that laugh now brought him. Once it would've brightened even his darkest moods. Now... he was only numb. Ten months ago, Bobby came back into their lives and brought with him a pain Nathan had never considered. He'd spent each day trying to remind Eva of her past, to remember him. Each day had been a battle. On those days she remembered him, he'd have his precious wife for the remainder of the day. However on those days she didn't remember him, she'd find her way back into Bobby's arms. It was a slow painful battle, one he'd finally lost. She hadn't remembered him in the last four months. Bobby's real name was Martin Dorfman and he'd recently transferred to the Brookhaven Mental Care Facility. Nathan had learned he'd been in an auto accident three years ago and received severe head trauma which had left him mentally disabled. What was frustrating was that Martin wasn't even the second incarnation of Bobby Jones, just the latest. The original Bobby Jones had been Eva's high school sweetheart over thirty-five years ago. Now it appeared that any tall, skinny, white male could be Bobby in his wife's mind. Just like that son-of-a-bitch Harold Frost! Nathan sighed heavily. Stop it! He chastised himself. He was as sick Eva is. He struggled to put the sixtyish bean-pole of a man with dementia out of his mind. Usually Eva's romances with her 'Bobby' were that of a star-struck high school girl, full of kisses, giggling, and heavy petting. Occasionally it'd gone farther than that, like it had with Harold. Nathan desperately shut his eyes trying to force his mind from going down that path. He was startled out of his revelry by the gentle sound of a woman clearing her throat. "Is this seat taken?" A hint of a smile formed as he recognized the voice. Opening his eyes he stared up at an attractive woman in her late forties. He knew her age because she'd told him, not that he would ever have guessed it. She looked at least a dozen years younger than her actual age with her long blonde hair and willow-like frame. "Mrs. Morgan," he said weakly smiling. "Allie," she retorted. "Allison," he said with a broad smile. "Nathan, we've gone through this before," she said with a huge grin. "It's Allie." Her eyes danced with a playful look that did nothing to hide her affection for him. He couldn't help but return her smile. She had such a joy about her it was contagious. "Allie," he said softly. He knew in his heart Allie Morgan was a Godsend. She'd become his Angel of Mercy, a light in the darkness that had surrounded his life. She'd been there at his darkest hour and had seen him at his weakest. Nathan painfully replayed that terrible day. He was ashamed that his visits had diminished drastically after the time he'd actually found Eva with Harold. Before then he'd always come to Brookhaven, checked in at the nurses' station and then gone back to her room. He'd knock on her door, open it, and ask her to visit with him. That day when he opened her door his fragile world shattered. His beautiful wife laid there, eyes closed with a look of absolute rapture in her face as she softly moaned. Her smooth breasts were being roughly squeezed by the tall, thin man positioned between her muscular legs. His pale white skin was in stark contrast to her tanned, caramel colored body. Nathan watched in horror as an old man took his wife as she grunted out her pleasure. "Oh Bobby, oh yes Bobby. Be gentle baby, you're my first and only. I love you and only you," Eva panted. She opened her eyes and saw him. With a shriek she pushed Bobby off of her and tried to cover herself. A stunned and confused Harold Frost fell off the bed. "Who are you?! Why are you in my room?!" she'd screamed at Nathan. Nathan staggered back out into the hall, still transfixed on the scene within the room. When he finally was able to pry his eyes away, he noticed his hands were shaking and he was having trouble breathing. Mercifully he'd made it out into the garden before his emotional dam broke. It was one thing to know she was in love with Bobby, but to see her giving herself to him had destroyed him. He'd always been the rock of stability in his family, the one they could always count on. Now... he felt his life pour out of him from the gaping wound where his heart had been. A good man, a loving husband and father, sat alone on a cold, concrete bench and wept. He didn't know how long he'd sat there but soon he felt the warm softness of a woman's arms as they enveloped him. He looked up to see Allie's tear-streaked face as she pulled him closer. She held him as he sobbed. Had it not been for Allie Morgan he may've had a complete breakdown. The ramifications of that day were far reaching. Harold Frost was transferred to a facility down in the City. Brookhaven, like most of those types of facilities at that time, didn't have a policy dealing with patient sex. That soon changed. In addition to their new policy, all patients were now required to wear small ankle bracelets carrying a tracking device. The facility also now had yellow lines on the floor and other optical deterrents to keep patients from wandering off. During that time Allie had stood beside him. He knew then she was more than just a friend. But how much more? His questioned himself. And did my hope for something more allow me to do what I doing? His eyes began to tear as his guilt and shame threatened to sweep over him. What kind of husband am I? He berated himself. I vowed before God and family I would stand beside her until death did us part, whether in sickness or in health. How can I break those vows? "Nathan?" her gentle voice pulled him out of his private hell. He looked at her with a deep sorrow in his eyes. "It's our thirty-second anniversary," he managed to whisper. She nodded. He could tell she was fighting back tears of her own, tears for him and his pain. "I know that's why I'm here." It had been several weeks since he'd seen her last. It had been at her father's funeral. He hadn't gotten the chance to talk with her much then. She'd been surrounded by her son and daughter and their families. As he thought back to her father, he realized Brookhaven had become a much more peaceful place since his death. Her father had constantly sat at his bedroom window and wept. He'd frequently call out to his wife who had run away from him years earlier. It was disturbing and sad, regardless of the man's past. "I didn't get to speak with you much at the funeral," he gently explained. She smiled weakly. "It's all right, Nathan. I had my family around me. It was a bittersweet day. I was sad to lose my father but it was a blessing in many ways. Brownwood: A Long Goodbye "Nathan, my father wasn't a nice man. I've told you some of what he was like. He was an alcoholic and extremely abusive. He was so bad that he drove my mother away. Unfortunately she didn't take my two brothers and me with her. "These last four years the only thing he's remembered was my mother and how he chased her away. Finally he's at rest, although I doubt that he's at peace. To be honest I've been fighting a little guilt. I hadn't expected myself to be so relieved at his passing." Nathan nodded. "Allie, I do understand. More than most might. I understand impossible, painful situations and I can only guess the relief one experiences when they pass." She smiled warmly at him. "I know you do and that's why I'm here today. Over the last six months we've become good friends, so I knew you'd be here on your anniversary." He stared down at the tiny tree he held. After a few moments she continued. "Is that an anniversary gift?" "Yes. They tell me it might be very therapeutic for her because she'll have to tend to it frequently. I even brought all the tiny tools she'll need as well." He looked up at her with a forlorn face and tears started to form in his eyes. "But it's more than that. This time it's a farewell gift as well. I filed for a divorce this morning." She gently placed her hand on his arm. "Oh Nathan, I'm so sorry." "I... I know she doesn't know what she's doing but I can't sit by and watch her give her love to another man. My only other option is to stop coming here but that would be like abandoning her. Of course, what I'm doing feels like I'm doing that anyway." "What'll happen now?" His face became stern and she saw him set his jaw as if bracing himself against the inevitable oncoming storm. "Well, first the courts will appoint someone to represent Eva, to look out for her best interests. It'll most likely be either Marcus or Tony. I hope it'll be Tony. He's had the hardest time with my decision. I know he understands what I'm doing, but he doesn't fully support it like Angela and Marcus do, perhaps it's because he's still not married. "Tony would be the best choice. He's always been very protective of his mother. Of course, I won't be trying to deny her anything. Eva's future care will be the main focus for all of us." Nathan became very quiet and stared down at the wedding ring he absently turned again and again on his finger. "After the divorce is granted," he hoarsely whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "After the divorce is granted, I'll apply for an annulment." He was silent for a moment and Allie could tell he was fighting with his shame. "I feel like such a hypocrite. How can I or anyone else for that matter, act like a thirty-two year marriage never existed?" "I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could say to take the pain away." He smiled weakly. "You being here helps me more than you know, Allison." She looked at him with an arched eyebrow. "Allie," he said softly with a sad smile. His words brought a warm smile from his female companion. Her eyes danced and her entire countenance changed from quiet and consoling to one full of life. "Have I ever told you what brought me to Brownwood?" He smiled, recognizing her gentle attempt to distract him. "You've told me pieces of your story, but I would be honored to hear the rest." She smiled warmly at her now captive audience. "Well since you probably know most of it," she chuckled and winked at him. "I'll keep it short. "Like Eva, I fell in love when I was eighteen. Unfortunately, she gave her heart to a good man who loved her back and I fell for the local bad boy who got me pregnant. At least he married me but four years later he ran off with his secretary, leaving me broke with two small children. "That's what brought me to Brownwood. I got a job in the battery plant where I met my second husband, Phil Morgan. We were married for fifteen years before he died of cancer. Since then I've dated, looking for that special someone to spend the rest of my life with." Nathan grinned. After so many years of dealing with vague clients and slippery contractors, he found her directness refreshing. Allison Morgan seemed to know what she wanted and could no doubt be tenacious in striving for it. "I knew your late husband. He was a good man. I'm sorry for your loss." "Thank you. He was good man. Now he's gone but I know he'd want me to continue living my life." She gently smiled at him. "Nathan, from what you've told me I have to believe the old Eva would want the same for you." His mind drifted to the pleas of his daughter months ago. "Papa please," Angela had begged. "Stop doing this to yourself. You go day after day and watch her with him. It's killing you! Papa please, Mama would understand." He'd felt the sting of her words. He knew she'd meant well, she was only looking out for him. What had upset him was that he knew she was right, Eva would understand. She'd even made him promise to go on with his life when the time came years ago. His mind would try to honor that promise even if his heart couldn't bear the thought of it. "She does," Nathan said softly, his mind now focusing upon the attractive woman sitting beside him. "Or at least she did. She made me promise to keep living after she was gone... mentally." "And?" Allie said gently. "I'm finding it hard to keep that promise. I know she's not in her right mind anymore and that takes the edge off the pain I feel. But there's no way to describe what it feels like watching someone you've loved all your life giving her love to another. It's... it's almost unbearable." "I'm so sorry you're forced to live through this. But Nathan, you are going to live through this and someday you'll love again. I can speak from experience." "Allie, I want to thank you. You've been a godsend to me by allowing me to lean upon you. I need you to know how special that is to me. I also must confess my feelings aren't completely honorable towards you. Her face lit up and her smile spread from ear to ear. "Nathan," she chuckled. "I would've been somewhat offended if they had been." He paused and silently stared. She cleared her throat and met his gaze. "I think of you as a good and honorable man, as someone I'd like to get to know better than just as a friend. My second husband was a very good man as well, but he wasn't what I would call a proper gentleman. You, Nathan Cordova, are the epitome of an honorable Spanish gentleman. I would be lying if I didn't say that intrigues me." Her smile lit up the rest of her beautiful face as she peered into his eyes challenging him to try to look away. "Nathan, I'm only saying this because you've taken a huge step towards moving on with your life. I realize I haven't hidden my interest in you but I would've never encouraged you until you had decided it was time to move on with your life." "Allie, I can't say the thought of spending more time with you didn't have some influence on my decision." "Oh no, Nathan. Please don't think that!" He saw her pained expression and reached for her hand. She took his hand in both of her own. Sighing deeply she peered into his eyes. "Nathan, you're a very handsome man, so I can't believe you haven't had many women show interest in you over the years. Are you telling me you never found any of them attractive?" "No, of course not but I never acted upon those feelings." "Exactly and you haven't with me either. There was a reason we haven't talked in several weeks. I knew you were getting close to making some heart-wrenching decisions and wanted to make sure I wasn't a factor in them. "What you're feeling is the promise that the opposite sex still finds you attractive. It helps you get past the fears everyone feels when they begin a new chapter in their lives. If it wouldn't have been me, it would've been any of a thousand women who'd assure you that you are still desirable. "Nathan, tell me, this morning before you filed those papers did you plan to call me up tonight and ask me for a date?" He shook his head. "No, all I could do was think about my marriage," he replied sadly. "That's what you should've been thinking about. It was a huge step and all your attention should've been on it. Did you plan to call me tomorrow or later this week?" "I... no, I... it was too soon." She nodded. "And how would you have called me? I've never given you my number." He paused for minute and then remembered she owned the Allie Cat Diner over by the battery plant. "Allie, I know you and your family run that diner. I guess, I would've tried to call you there." She smiled warmly at him. "Smart man, but you would've only reached a friend. I've never given you my personal number, simply because it wasn't appropriate. I've been careful not to do anything that could hurt our relationship if it ever went beyond being just friends. "Nathan, over the coming months and even beyond, you'll feel guilty at times. And if you believe I had anything to do with you deciding to end your marriage then it could poison anything we might have. "Please, know I'm interested in you, but only after you've grieved the loss of your marriage. That's why I haven't tried to contact you sooner. I would've stayed away longer but, as a friend, I needed to see how you were doing. That's why I'm here today." Gently she took his face in her hands and turned his head to look directly at her. With a tender caress of his cheek she stared deeply into his soft brown eyes. "Nathan, there is life after this. I know it may not seem like it now, but it's a life that has joy and love in it again. Whether that life includes me or not is something we'll eventually have to discover together. "But for now, you need to grieve. Nathan, I won't contact you again until you feel ready to talk. You can call me as a friend if you need me. Anything more and you'll have to decide when. I'll wait for you for a time because I believe you're the type of man worth waiting for." He was silent for a few seconds before a tiny smile began to play upon his lips. "What number should I call?" Her face lit up as she laughed. Reaching into her purse she pulled out her make-up bag. Choosing carefully, she selected some lipstick and began applying it. She struggled slightly because she kept smiling each time she looked at him. Finally, when she was satisfied with the result, she pulled out and pen and piece of paper and wrote something. She smiled sweetly at him with mischief dancing in her eyes. Placing the piece of paper to her lips, she gave it a big kiss then handed it to him. "Call me," she said softly with a wink. He knew then there would be a dawn to his dark night. **** Epilogue: Nurse Hellen Gruenberg made her way down the quiet corridors checking on each patient. The night shift had always been challenging. It would go from silence to chaos if a patient woke up and didn't know where they were. Added to her tasks was her additional duty of playing chaperone. Some nights patients would get up and wander, sometimes even into another patient's room. Most times it was innocent, other times it wasn't. The couple that had kept her most busy had been Martin and Eva. It was a childlike game with them. The anklets all patients now wore made it easier to keep track of them, much to Eva and Martin's disappointment. As she approached Eva's room she heard the sounds of someone crying. Quickly she entered the room to find her patient sitting on her bed staring at a tiny tree. Tears were streaming down her once beautiful face. Carefully Helen sat beside her and gently put her arm around her. "Eva, what's wrong?" she whispered. "I... I don't know. It's just when I look at this tree, I get so sad." Helen looked down at the tree and knew the sad story behind it, all the staff did. Eva had been meticulously tending it for the past two months and it was beginning to thrive. "Well Honey," she said softly, "would you like me to remove it?" "No!" Eva blurted out then calmed herself. "No, I think it was a gift... but not... not from Bobby." "Do you know who gave it to you then?" "I don't know, but I feel like I should. There's... there's a card but it's unsigned." Eva buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Helen gently reached over for the small card beside the bonsai tree. Quietly she read it. My Querida, I'm giving you the only gift I have left to give you, your freedom. Goodbye, mi cielo. Gently she wrapped Eva in her arms as the confused woman wept. Soon she'd cried herself out and was exhausted. Helen tucked her in again and told her goodnight. "Do you want me to leave the door cracked open?" Nurse Gruenberg asked softly. Eva nodded her head. "Yes, please." As Helen went back to her station, Eva cradled her pillow and stared at the tiny tree's silhouette. The darkness of the room hid the fact that her tears had begun to fall again and only the shadows in her room heard her desperate whispers. "Querido, where are you? Please don't leave me." ****