6 comments/ 30656 views/ 2 favorites Admiration Ch. 01 By: robin35 CONGRATULATIONS BOOK FIVE: ADMIRATION Ashkey spent a restless night laid with her husband. She had so wanted to let him know what had been happening in her life. It had taken courage to dress and prepare herself to talk and there was no doubt she was hurt by his inattention. To be rejected had spurned her into action. She had not meant to fuck the taxi driver but she had needed the sexual release. Then she had not needed to get drunk but it had made her feel young again. Finally, she had not needed to accept the king advances of Hank but she had wanted to feel appreciated. She had enjoyed the time spent with Anton and Maria and hoped there would be more but there was something different with Hank. All evening he acted like nothing more than a perfect gentleman with her. He had shown her kindness and respect that she had long forgotten existed. To be escorted home and then not have a finger lain on her made her feel alive again and she knew that she would be seeing Hank again. Now as she lay in bed although her eyes were closed her head was awake. She had struggled all night with what was happening internally. Finally, she opened her eyes and turned over to look at her husband. He was wrapped around the duvet with just his head popping out. His eyes were rolling under the lids and it was obvious to Ashkey that he was having a dream. She moved further in the bed so she could take a closer look at his face. It dawned on her that what she had here laid next to her was a man that she loved and respected but who she was not in love with. It did not hurt her to make this realization but she knew that it would upset her husband if she was ever to tell him. In her mind, she was thinking could she really live a life with a man that would be a lie. The hurt if he ever found out would be immense and did he deserve this. Ashkey was a woman in turmoil again. She thought last night would resolve all these issues in her head when in fact all it had done had add another complication for her to ponder. Thankfully it was an issue that she could put to bed for the moment. The clock had ticked round and now the alarm was buzzing signaling the beginning of another day for Ashkey and her family. She crawled out of bed weary from the night before. She knew that her husband would want some explanation over the breakfast table and she had to be prepared for this. It was routine to walk out of the bedroom and prepare herself and wake the girl's up. Routine was what her life consisted of. She was getting so frustrated and she knew that if her husband did not handle this morning right then she would say something that she should not. Ashkey went downstairs and on automatic pilot, she prepared the coffee for both her and her husband and made the cereal for the children. She sat for a moment at the kitchen table. She had to take the coffee to her husband but could not face him just yet. Eventually she managed to summon up the courage. She climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom. Her husband was sat up in bed waiting for her. The look on his face said that he was not going to be giving Ashkey an easy time. In fairness, how could she expect one after last night? He waited until Ashkey had handed him the coffee and then he spoke. "So what was last night about?" Ashkey took a moment to consider her answer before she replied. "I made a real effort for you last night. I made you a special meal and I put on some sexy clothes and how did you repay me. You did not notice the effort I had made with my clothes and the food and then you added further insult to injury by falling asleep in the bath." "Have you any idea how all that made me feel?" Ashkey was unaware of the fact that she was now shouting at her husband. All the frustrations that she had bottled up inside came flooding out. All her husband could do was sit there and listen and then he mumbled, "Sorry". Ashkey was on a violent roll now and she was not going to let her husband off that easily. "Sorry is not good enough. You seem to have forgotten over the years that I am a woman in my own right. I have needs and desires and you seem unaware of them. We only ever make love when you want to and it isn't even love. It is pure sexual relief for you and I am left frustrated." Her husband knew when to keep quiet. This was one of those occasions. He was in trouble and there was nothing he could say to exonerate himself. What Ashkey was saying to him was all-true. All he could do was sit there and feel ashamed. Eventually Ashkey managed to stop herself going any further. She knew she had gone far enough. She collapsed on the bed and allowed her husband to embrace. As he wrapped his arms around her, she cried. It was ten minutes before she stopped crying and all that her time her husband held her tight. He knew he risked being late for work but this was not the time to be thinking about it. He felt Ashkey's shoulders relax and knew that he had to say something. "I know how frustrated you feel. I have not exactly been attentive to you lately. Now however is not the time to talk about it? I have to go to work. We shall talk later." Ashkey laid there listening to her husband speak. He realized at least that they had problems but he was not prepared to sacrifice his precious work time to sort it out. Well fuck him she thought. I have plenty of places I can have fun and I shall show him what a woman I am. She turned to her husband and disguising her anger all she said was, "Yes we shall talk tonight." Her husband smiled down at her and he was happy. He had managed to avert an emotional disaster and could go to work a happy man. He jumped out of bed and left Ashkey alone not realizing how she was really feeling. All alone in the house Ashkey sat and contemplated what had become of her happy life. She had assumed that she was a happy woman content with all that life had to throw at her and yet in the space of a few days all that had been turned upside down. She wandered the house aimlessly trying to do the chores and ensure that the house was tidy for her husband when he came home from a hard day at work. Suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks. What the fuck was she doing? This man her husband had avoided talking about what was going on in their lives and yet here she was tidying up after him and the girls. Enough was enough. She dropped the pile of dirty washing that she had gathered up and raced downstairs. Today was going to be a day for her. She rarely allowed herself the pleasure of a day off. Well today was one of those occasions. She went into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. She would start by having a cup of coffee made from a brand that only she enjoyed. She allowed the aroma of the coffee to waft up to her nose. It was heaven to her. This was one of the pleasures that Ashkey enjoyed and she intended to savor all of it today. After she had smelled the coffee, she began to drink it. As the coffee drained down her throat, Ashkey savored the hot sensation as it hit her stomach. She often wondered how a simple thing like a cup of coffee could give her such pleasure. Once she had begun to drink her coffee, she began to think about what she could do for the rest of the day. Suddenly she remembered Cynthia. It had been fun yesterday to meet with an old school acquaintance and catch up. Ashkey remembered the car Cynthia had given her and she rooted in her bag and pulled it out. At the same time, the card Hank had given her also fell out. For a moment, she held both the cards in her hand trying to decide which one of the people she would call. Eventually she managed to resolve the issue, picked up the phone, and dialed the number on the card. She stood there nervously in her hallway waiting for the phone to be answered. "Hello." "Hi is that Cynthia?" "Yes it is. Is that Ashkey?" "Uhmm yes it is. Sorry to call you so early in the morning but I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a coffee?" "Yes that would be lovely. I have a luncheon appointment at one o'clock with my broker but I could come over now. How does that sound?" "That would be lovely. Where are you?" "Oh I am staying in a hotel in the town centre at the moment. I assume you are still in the neighborhood?" "Yes that's right. Do you know the high street?" "Yes I do." "Well if you get a taxi and direct him to the high street then ask him for Egerton Grove number 14." "Okay great. I shall see you in about twenty minutes." Ashkey put down the phone and she instantly realized how messy the house was. She did not want to be embarrassed by an old school friend so she ran around tidying up and pushing magazines out of sight. Twenty minutes soon passed and there was no ring of the bell. Ashkey went into the kitchen to ensure that the kettle was full and then she checked the biscuit barrel and she sauntered around the lower floor trying to keep herself busy whilst not worrying about what Cynthia would think. Half an hour after the phone call there was a ring of the doorbell. Ashkey checked herself in the mirror and then she walked down the hallway. For some reason she checked through the spy hole and was relieved to see Cynthia standing there. Ashkey opened the door and stood back and showed Cynthia into her hallway and then into the front room. She allowed her to sit down and then she offered her coffee. Cynthia gladly accepted the offer of coffee and as Ashkey left her, alone she took the opportunity to survey the room. Cynthia had done well out of her life. She had never been the most popular girl in the class but she had applied herself and done well enough in her studies so that she could leave town and go to college. It had served her well for not only had she obtained a degree but she had also obtained a husband with wealth. They had settled into a good life with financial security until the day that Cynthia had found her husband could not keep his cock in his pants and was fucking his secretary. Cynthia had not stood around to fight for him. Instead, she had sued for divorce and taken a good financial package with her. At first, she had enjoyed life and then she had decided that she had wanted to visit her old town. Now here she was with one of her old school friends and all she could see was that although Ashkey may have enjoyed her early life she had not moved on as an adult and had settled for family life. Smugly she thought she had done well and then with a hint of pity she thought how pathetic Ashkey must feel about her life. It was ten minutes before Ashkey returned and when she did, she was carrying a tray with coffee cups and biscuits. It summed up the life of Ashkey as the good mother and wife. Cynthia took the proffered coffee and then she watched as Ashkey took a seat opposite her. There was an awkward silence to start with and then they soon were able to drop into a happy flow of conversation. They caught up on each other's lives and it was obvious that although both of them had led vastly different lives they were both the same age In addition, they were both unhappy. As Cynthia had, talked Ashkey had listened and she was concluding that Cynthia was as unhappy as she was. Ashkey allowed Cynthia to finish what she was saying and then she decided that this was the friend that she was looking for. It was going to be Cynthia that she told all about the last few days. She waited her moment for silence and she began to talk. For fully half an hour, she unburdened herself on Cynthia. She missed out no details. Cynthia was amazed at what she hearing and she was filled with disbelief. She had thought that she had sussed Ashkey so well and yet here she was hearing sexual revelations that were making her blush. She was also slightly jealous. She had the money and yet she was not having a sex life like this. Finally, Ashkey finished telling her everything and she sat and awaited a response from Cynthia. All she could say was, "Wow I wish that had been me." Ashkey relaxed and then she laughed at the response her friend had just given her. "Thank you" she responded. "I thought you may be disgusted." Cynthia looked at her friend and then she stood and gave her a hug. Ashkey took the act of affection and then she returned it with an innocent peck on the cheek. Cynthia broke the embrace and then she said, "So what are you going to do about Hank?" "Dunno but I sure fancy fucking him." "Go for it girl and then you can tell me all about it." Together they both laughed as Ashkey was thinking how to get Hank to her bed. Cynthia then stood and said she had to go and attend her meeting. They hugged again and arranged to meet next week. They also agreed that Ashkey would call her if she fucked Hank. Ashkey showed Cynthia out and then she grabbed Hank's card and called him up. Hank had been staying in a local hotel for the twenty-four hours that he was in town. He was scheduled to leave this evening. As a salesman, anyway he moved from one hotel room to another. This was no different to hundreds he had been in over the years. He was laid naked on the hotel bed after having a shower. He did not know why but when he was, in the shower, he had seen the razor and on impulse, he had lathered up his balls and cock and removed all traces of his pubic hair. It had always been something he had wanted to do but for some reason he had never got the courage to do it. This had been an impulsive act and laid naked as he was on the bed he could not help but run his hands over the smooth skin. His mind began to stray to the events of last night and this coupled with his caressing soon had him sporting an impressive erection. He looked down at the naked cock and as he pulled the foreskin back in a slow masturbatory motion he wished that he was dexterous enough to bend over and take the head in his mouth. Instead he continued a slow masturbatory action whilst replaying last night in his head. He had gone to the bar with nothing more in mind than having a quiet beer to pass some time. Ashkey was not to know this but he had been in one of the booths and had seen the show that she had put on for the group of men. Watching her teasing the men and then having them cumm whilst she got no pleasure had made him very horny. He had then managed to position himself in such a way that as she was sat on the stool he was able to gaze up her skirt and glimpse her naked pussy. If it had been appropriate he would have got his dick out in the bar and wanked. Instead he just sat and watched Ashkey. From her body language he could ascertain that she was pissed off and by the amount of alcohol she was consuming it was going to take her awhile to calm down. Like a gentleman he had watched her stand and had seen the glazed look in her eye. He had known that she would fall and he was going to be there to assist her. By now the sexual urges that he had been having had disappeared and all he wanted was to assist her. Oh he would have been lying if he said he did not fancy her but he had no intention of making any sort of move on her. He had behaved as only a man of honor could and when she accepted his lift home he had seen it as nothing more than that. It was whilst in the car that the old sexual urges returned. With the windows closed and the heating on he had got a whiff of her vaginal aroma and he could distinctly discern between her juices smell and that of spunk. Yes she had been fucked by another man and he knew it had not been her husband and this had just fuelled his arousal. Driving had proved difficult as he fought the urge to stop the car, take her in his arms, and then lick her out. Instead he had forced himself to concentrate on the road and had eventually managed to get her home. However he was determined to leave an impression on her and when he had given her his business card he had made sure to put his hotel number and room number on it. Yes he wanted to make love to her but he also wanted anything that happened to be instigated by her. He had driven away and found a secluded spot. He was horny as hell and prepared to take risks. He had then dropped his pants and his trunks and begun to masturbate. He had even at one point bent over and sniffed the chair where she had sat. He was not perverted just aroused. The sheer audacity of what he was doing and the thought of what Ashkey would be like to make love too had taken him to the brink of orgasm very quickly. He had laid back in his seat and sprayed his cumm all around the car. Afterwards he had driven back to the hotel with his pants still on the seat beside him. He was acting like a compulsive teenager and he was loving it. When he had parked his car he had re-dressed and hurried to his room. He was still fucking horny. Hank had stepped in the room and immediately switched on the adult movie channel. As the film began he stripped off and laid down on the bed. As he watched he imagined that the actress playing her role was Ashkey. She looked so slutty and he longed to be in on the action. Once more he had wanked. This time he had been able to control himself and it was not until the film had ended that he came for a second time. He was now a sated man and with that had curled up and gone to sleep. Now here he was alone in the hotel room again and thinking of Ashkey and the night before. His eyes were closed as he visualized her and his cock was big and throbbing. His desire to cumm was immense and he was on the edge. As he felt the precum leak from his dick the phone in his room rang. Startled for a moment he did not recognize the ring but when he did he put his prick down and picked up the receiver. His wilting cock raged back into life when he heard the voice of Ashkey. "Hello" she said. "Hi." He responded. "I was wondering if you would like to meet for lunch?" she replied. Hank was once more wanking and with a shaky voice all he could manage was, "Yes that would be brilliant." They chatted for a couple of minutes and Hank was soon lost in her voice. By the time the arrangements had been made and he alone again he had cumm. He had been so engrossed that it had happened whilst he was speaking to her. He stood went to the bathroom and for the second time that day he showered. Admiration Ch. 02 Ashkey stood in the hallway listening to the voice of Hank on the other end. She felt sure that she could hear the sounds of creaking springs in the background. At first, she thought it was merely her imagination but as she listened harder, it became clear in her head that Hank was bouncing up and down on the bed. She strained to paint a picture in her mind and what came was a picture of Hank laid naked on the bed playing with himself. She was sure this was not the case but the image would not leave her. Without thinking about it, her spare hand moved across her chest and she began to play with her breasts over her top. Next, her hand slipped under her top and she was nipping her nipples making them pulse and stand erect. She was so horny just from hearing his voice and imagining him wanking. She wanted to join in so she put the phone on speaker. She placed the receiver on the table and was able to carry on talking to Hank. They were making an arrangement for lunch yet all Ashkey could do was slip her knickers off and begin to finger herself. If only she had known that Hank was indeed playing with himself then this would have been even sexier. Perhaps not though. Her imagination was working overtime and as she fucked herself she had to prop herself up against the wall to support herself. The conversation lasted literally ten minutes yet by the time Hank had disconnected Ashkey was panting in sexual lust. She plunged her fingers deeper into herself and managed to frig her clit so that within a minute of the line being dead Ashkey was cumming all over her hand. She allowed herself to compose her body and then she checked her watch. She had an hour before Hank would be at the door to pick her up. Normally if she was, getting ready to go out with her husband this would have been plenty of time but today was going to be special and she felt it would be hurry. Literally running up the stairs she began to strip dropping her clothes as she went. She was not caring about the fact that she was leaving a pair of knickers stained with her juices lying on the landing. By the time she reached the bathroom, she was naked and horny. She turned on the shower and allowed the water to warm as she took a piss. Her lips were inflamed with passion and as she wiped herself dry, she felt herself becoming aroused again. She could have sat there and wanked but she had to get ready. Frustratingly she got off the toilet and stepped into the shower. The steam and heat of the shower refreshed her body and she made sure to thoroughly soap herself clean. She checked the hair under her arms and legs and realized they needed trimming. She loved to shave and quickly she removed all her nasty hairs. With a glint in her eye, she looked at her cunt and saw the bush sticking out. She applied some foam and drew the razor over her mons. It took her two minutes and then she was bare. She admired herself in the mirror and thought she liked what she saw. Ashkey jumped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. She was drying herself as she entered the bedroom. Once dry she rooted through her wardrobe to decide what to wear. She chose a black thong and matching bra. To this, she added stockings and then a navy dress and blouse. She brushed her hair and applied her make-up. A pair of stilettos completed the look. Looking at herself in the mirror Ashkey saw a very sexy woman looking back and she was more than pleased with what she saw. The whole transformation had taken fifty-seven minutes. Grabbing her purse, she ran downstairs and waited nervously for Hank to arrive. Exactly an hour after he had put down the phone Hank drew up outside her house and was then ringing the doorbell. Ashkey left him standing a minute before she opened the door. There was a friendly greeting and then he was walking her to his car. Like a gentleman he held the door open for her and she duly thanked him. He walked round to the driver’s side and climbed in. Ashkey had shuffled so that Hank could get a glimpse of her stockings. Like any red-blooded man he noticed but did not comment. Instead, he just pulled away from the kerb and set off into town. He was not stupid and knowing that Ashkey lived around here and had done so all her life he bypassed town and found a quiet Bistro about ten miles away. Entering the Bistro Hank asked for a table for two. They were shown to a quiet table and Hank withdrew her seat to allow Ashkey to sit down. They ordered food and wine and then they sat and chatted. Conversation flowed easily between them. They established the personal details of each other’s lives and then they went on to interests that they had. It was a lunch yet it was a friendly chat. The food and wine arrived and each of them stopped talking long enough to devour the phone placed in front of them. All in all the meal lasted about two hours. By the end of it Ashkey was realizing that she had feelings for this man stronger than she had ever had for any man before. At no point did he make any move on her. He behaved like a perfect gentleman and he even insisted on picking up the bill. The drive home was one of even greater sexual tension. Ashkey was feeling daring fuelled by the wine. She was increasingly pulling her skirt up higher and higher and Hank could not fail to notice. By the time they pulled up in Ashkey’s street her skirt was almost at her waist and her thong was on show. She was that wet that the material had slipped between her pussy lips. Ashkey was lost in a passionate moment and she wanted to take Hank to bed and fuck the brains out of him. However Hank turned to her and spoke. He explained that he was just out of a relationship and was not ready for another. He did however want to se Ashkey again and they made arrangements for when he was back in town. Ashkey got out of the car and straighten her skirt. Initially she was disappointed at Hank’s response but as she walked to her door she realized how right he was. They both needed to think about where this was going. Ashkey was hot for Hank but she did not just want a shag. Hank had read the signals and had thought the same thing. A smile broke out on her face. She placed her key in the lock and walked in. Then she stopped with a surprise. There at the top of the stairs was her husband. He had his trousers round his ankles, was wanking his cock with her knickers, and was crying. Ashkey stood for a moment in the hallway watching her husband. He was wanking his cock wrapped in her knickers and the tears were streaming down his face. He seemed lost in what he was doing and for a moment, he seemed unaware of Ashkey being there. Ashkey did not know whether to let him carry on or signal her presence. Strangely, she just stood there and allowed her husband to carry on his wanking. He was now stroking his cock furiously and Ashkey could tell that he was approaching orgasm. She had never seen her husband so upset and yet so concentrated. His strokes were now fast and furious and before long Ashkey was watching his spunk flying high into the air and then landing on the carpet. As he came, he was calling out her name completely oblivious to her presence. When he was finished orgasmming and was just sat on the landing crying Ashkey spoke. “What are you doing?” Her husband’s head shot up in surprise at the sudden intrusion of his wife’s voice. His eyes were red from crying and as he looked at his wife, he tried to dry his tears to disguise the fact. Ashkey spoke again. “I asked you what you are doing.” This time her husband spoke. “I realized when I got to work that I had forgotten something. I was going to call when I decided after our talk this morning that perhaps I could surprise you. I worked hard all morning and completed my work. I made sure that I had nothing to do this afternoon. I thought I might come home and take you to lunch. I left at my designated time and drove home just in time to see a strange car pull up at the house. I was going to get out and come in when I saw a man get out of the car and approach the front door. I then decided to sit in my car and see what was happening. The man rang the doorbell and then I watched as you answered and then got into the car and drove away with the man. As you can imagine I was perplexed to know what my wife was doing going out with a strange man that she clearly knew and I didn’t and being dressed to the nines. I could not ask you so I decided to come in and wait for you. Of course, when I got in I saw the house strewn with your clothing. Fortunately, I had seen the man arrive so I know you had not been fucking. Judging from the time you have been gone I can tell you also have not just fucked him. I just sat on the stairs waiting for you to come home and when I became uncomfortable, I ended up on the landing. It was here that I found your knickers. I could not help it. I picked them up and when I did I found how wet they were. I have always been turned on by your aroma and before I knew it I was wanking and then I was crying and then I came. So that was my day. How was yours?” Ashkey realized the dilemma she was in and she also knew that this was not the time to lie. She could hide what she had been up to for the last few days but she could not lie to a direct question. It was time for some of the truth. Ashkey stood silently for a moment. She had really enjoyed her lunch with Hank and he had re-awaken feelings within her that had laid dormant for so long. When she was composed, she began to speak. “The man you saw me with was called Hank. Do you remember when I went out last night? Well I went to a bar and sank a few drinks. Not being used to alcohol it soon went to my head and I became very drunk. When I stood to leave the bar, I stumbled and Hank managed to catch me before I fell. I then had to go to the toilet to be sick and when I came back, Hank gave me some coffee and an ear to listen. I told him all about my time with you and how frustrated I felt that you no longer seemed to notice me no matter how much of an effort I made. Throughout the whole evening he was a perfect gentleman and when we had finished talking he dropped me off and made sure I was safe. He gave me his mobile phone number and told me that he was only in town for one day. I decided that the least I could do was repay him for his kindness by taking him out to lunch. I know what the gossip is like around here so I decided to take him out of town to that Bistro we have been to a couple of times. I swear on my children’s life that nothing has happened between me and Hank.” Ashkey stopped talking and allowed her time to digest what she had said. She did not however admit to her deeds over the past few days and she certainly did not admit to actually fancying Hank and the fact that if things had gone differently her husband may well have been confronted by the pair of them. Her husband listened to what she had to say. He was still holding onto the knickers tightly and without thinking about it every so often he would bring them to his face and sniff them. “So how do you explain these?” Ashkey was now staring at her knickers held high in the air in her husband’s hands. “I was feeling horny this morning and before Hank called me I decided to have a wank. I do still have sexual feelings you know and with the unpredictability of your work, I often have to resort to masturbating. I have always wanted you to know I wanked and so now it is out in the open.” Her husband then stood and came towards her. He placed his hands around her and they cuddled to forget the day. He was happy his wife had not fucked another man and she was happy that she had got away with it. Things could not go on like this but they would do for the moment. Ashkey managed to calm her husband down. She had told him enough that he was not worried about Hank. Her story had been completely true in what had happened and yes, she had omitted the details of how she was beginning to feel about him but that was for another time. Her husband now composed excused himself and said he was going to have a shower and a lie down. Ashkey let him go and was relieved that he was going to answer no more questions. As he climbed the stairs, she noticed that he made a point of picking up her knickers before going for his shower. Ashkey decided now was not the time to make any comment. Obviously, the fact that she had masturbated before going out and had done so with her knickers on had aroused her husband in some way. There would come a time to talk about this but not today. It was now the middle of the afternoon and she would soon have to pick the girls up from school. She also had the evening meal to prepare but first she had a phone call to make. She had made a promise to Cynthia and she was going to uphold that promise. She picked up the phone and dialed the mobile number that Cynthia had given her. On the other end, the phone rang and rang until it flipped onto voicemail. Cynthia was obviously still in her meeting. Ashkey left a message for Cynthia to call her and then she returned to the duties of being a housewife. It took her about twenty minutes to give the downstairs a cursory clean and to decide what to prepare for tea. There would be nothing fancy tonight. The exertions of the last few days had taken their toll and Ashkey was both physically and emotionally knackered. She needed a quiet evening with the girls tucked up in bed and snuggled in the arms of her husband. For all the frustrations that she felt with her husband, she did have feelings for him. If she were to be asked if she loved him, she would say yes. If she were to be asked if she was in love with him, she would say no. To her there was a vast difference in the two scenarios. As far as Ashkey could describe it, her husband worshipped her. He treated her like a prize possession that accrued value as the years passed. Unfortunately what Ashkey felt was that he had put her up on a pedestal and instead of bringing her down to polish her and show her off he had left her up there to gather dust. The sadness of this scenario was that her husband was completely unaware of what he was doing. He thought his wife was still that girl he had married and had never appreciated that people age and change with time. It was a reflection of his inner self. Ashkey walked into the hallway to collect her coat and was just in time to hear her husband leave the bathroom and enter the bedroom. She sighed in disappointment. She wanted him to challenge her and show he cared but all he did was accept what she had to tell him. She walked out of the door to collect the girls with her head full of disturbing thoughts. She looked back at the house and thought she could just shut herself off from her emotions and settle down to a quiet life with her family. Oh, it would never be the most exciting of lives but it would be secure for both her and the girl’s. As Ashkey arrived at the school gates, she was on the verge of tears. What she was proposing was a denial of herself for the security of life and the girl’s. Could she really do this? Her life would be so unfulfilled but it would be for the best. By the time, the girl’s were running out of the school gates Ashkey had made up her mind. She had to think of others before she thought of herself. She kept on telling herself that it was for the best in the long run and she had to be content. As she walked home with a girl attached to each arm, she was constantly chanting in her head. “Think of the girls. Think of the future.” Repeatedly the thoughts went until they all reached the door of her home and Ashkey felt convinced that she was doing the right thing. She pushed open the door. The house was silent. Her husband must be lying down. Ashkey shuffled the girl’s into the house. She made them a snack and settled them in front of the television. It was Friday and the weekend loomed. On this day, the girl’s had no pattern and were allowed to relax. Ashkey left them laughing their heads off to some cartoon and walked around the kitchen. She was automatic pilot. Preparing the evening meal was a daily chore and took no effort. Suddenly something snapped inside her head and she had to sit. Head bowed at the kitchen table the tears soon flowed from her eyes. They started as a sniffle but soon they were flooding. This was her life. This was what she had to settle for. The girl’s deserved a home and financial security. Her husband deserved a wife and mother and she deserved nothing. She must sacrifice her life for the good of others. She had no desire to stop crying. She felt her life fading away at that moment. This was her choice and she had to live with it. Suddenly the phone rang. Ashkey managed to semi-compose herself and then she answered. “Hello Ashkey speaking.” “Is that you Ashkey? God you sound terrible.” “Hi Cynthia. Yeah sorry about that just having a little cry to myself.” “That bad with Hank was it?” “No in fact we had a lovely lunch. He behaved like a perfect gentleman and even though I tried to flash my knickers at him, he wasn’t biting. Just as well really because when I got home my husband was here.” For the next twenty minutes, Ashkey poured out her heart to Cynthia and told her all that had happened. Cynthia like the friend she was becoming just stayed on the other end of the line and let her get everything off her chest. At last, Ashkey finished her tale and throughout the whole speech, Cynthia had said nothing. Given what Ashkey had just told her there was not a lot for her to say. At last, she found her tongue and she invited Ashkey to lunch the next day. Ashkey gratefully accepted and then she put down the phone. By now, the meal was ready and she called the girl’s to the table. She served them and then went upstairs to speak to her husband. He was laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. She told him his meal was on the table and he got off the bed and followed her downstairs. Halfway down he stopped her and said, “I do love you. You know that don’t you?” Ashkey turned to face him as she replied. “Yes I know you love me and I love you.” She was careful not say she was in love with him. That was too much for him to handle today. On the stairs, they kissed and then they joined the girl’s at the table. It was a quiet affair but what they all needed. The meal over each member retired to his or her different parts of the house. It was Friday night now and the girls were not at school the following day so they were entitled to stay up a little later than usual as long as they played quietly in their rooms or watched a video. Ashkey’s role however did not change. She still had all the washing up to do and then she had to make sure that the house was tidy. She was not a person who could live her life surrounded by clutter. For all it was constraining to her it was still her domain and she liked to be proud of it. Once she had completed all of her evening chores, she was able to relax with her husband in the front room. It had been a difficult day for them and now was not the time to discuss the ins and outs of their relationship. For one thing her husband was just sat staring at the television in a very defensive manner that said to her conversation was not to be broached. Secondly, it was Friday night and for as long as Ashkey could remember Friday night was the one night of the week that her husband had some social time to himself. When they had first married, it had been a bone of contention between them. Ashkey had resented the fact that her husband was allowed to leave her all week and sometimes stay out over night because of his job and then he would go out on a Friday with friends. Ashkey had tried to make him see the unfairness of this situation for many years but he had always refused to discuss it saying that it was a sacred ritual among all males and that he was not going to change it to be with her. Admiration Ch. 02 Ashkey had given up on the prospect of reaching a compromise on this issue until one day she was invited out on a Saturday night. The children had been particularly hard that week and the prospect of some adult conversation had appealed to her. When she had spoken to her husband about the issue, he had become very aggressive on the manner saying what was he going to do when she was out enjoying herself. At this point Ashkey had lost the plot. She stood and explained to him the reality of her life and how she was locked in the house five days a week playing the dutiful wife. Things had to change or she was going to leave her husband. This had jolted her husband into life and he reluctantly agreed that she could go out that Saturday. From there it had become a small step to make Saturday nights a regular thing for her. The sad part of this was that although both of them had individual nights when they went out and spent times with their friends they could not see the fact that they no longer spent time together as friends or a family. It was destroying them and yet neither of them realized it. Half an hour passed and the strained silence remained between them. Both of them had very stubborn streaks and neither was going to make the first move and begin an adult conversation. In their heads that would be an admission of them being guilty. Eventually Ashkey stood and announced that she was going to take a bath, as she needed to unwind. Her husband just grunted at her but as she got to the door, he shouted after her, “Do not be too long I shall be wanting the bathroom soon to get ready for going out.” Ashkey promised that it would be a quick dip and that she would be out in plenty of time for husband to get ready. Climbing the stairs she was depressed and on the verge of crying. What was happening between the two of them? She knew that what she had done over the last few days was inexcusable but it did not explain the difficulties they were having. Theses were issues that had developed over several years of their married life and they were now at the stage where communication between the two of them was almost impossible. She recounted many occasions when they had sat and looked at one another and had begun to speak but then had not proceeded with the conversation. Ashkey checked on the girls as she passed their rooms on the way to the bathroom. They were happy playing. She ran the bath and then sunk into the hot bubbles. Immediately her body relaxed and she knew that she could fall asleep here if she had been allowed. However, she was aware of her husband and his need to get ready so she decided to play along. She quickly bathed her body and then she climbed out in time to se her husband entering the bathroom. For a moment, Ashkey stood there naked. She wanted her husband to take her here this moment and some small way show her that he loved her. Instead, her husband just brushed past her and began to piss. Ashkey shoulders slumped walked naked from the bathroom. She loved to air dry her body and with that in mind, she just laid naked on the bed and rested her eyes. When her husband had showered, he came into the room and began to dress. Ashkey was aware of his presence but she was determined not to acknowledge him. If he was not going to talk to her, why should she make the effort? It took her husband ten minutes to dress and when he was ready he just walked to the bed pecked his wife on the cheek and said he would see her later. Ashkey barely acknowledged him. Instead, she curled herself into a ball and wept. Another Friday night and another evening alone.