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24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 01

By: wieliczka



This is a Romance series that starts with a disastrous BTB chapter. I was watching people in their late teens to 30+ years live in their smart phones. I see many have a minimum of security on them. Somebody really pissed could do so much damage quickly and easily. What surprised me was that it wasn't going to take money or high level technical smarts to do this. 

*****

Gail walked sleepy-eyed into the kitchen.

I stood up and hugged my bride-to-be. "I really don't like getting up at 5 to be at work by 6:15 so I could drive the 80 miles to that client site. I'm sorry hun for making noise that woke you up." She hugged me back. "I love you so much Gail. Can't wait the two weeks till we get married." 

"That's two weeks and three days and 5 hours Jim. I understand you spending all these extra hours working. We have a wedding to pay for. You'll be busy today so you don't have to call me. The traffic getting home will be murder. Take your time and be safe." I got another kiss and I was out the door.

We really do need the money. As a copier repairman for a service firm, I drive all around the metro area, including the neighboring state. This morning I'm scheduled to drive almost 2 hours in rush hour traffic to replace a client's 9 copiers. That supply house is a good client and it's worth the effort for my company and my career. 

Out the door at 5:50, I arrive at the shop to pick up the load and the truck. I immediately find out there is a problem, a big problem. Not all the copiers are ready. In fact, two now have a factory defect, a newly discovered defect. The parts are here, but even with all the techs on hand, repairing them could not be completed until 1 at the earliest. The travel time there and the on-site time would mean that I'd have to be at the client's site till 10 PM. This is not going to go over well.

Our firm has a goal of 100% satisfaction and I make an immediate call. Luckily for everyone, the client not only isn't ready, but asked for an additional day to get prepared. They have a rush job that needs immediate attention and were overjoyed at the delay. The installation will now happen on Friday.

I immediately began the repairs. I started at the company as an in-shop tech for several years during and after high school and have a good level of experience. Noon came around and the first copier was done. I let them know that I was going home for lunch because I had not brown bagged it today.

It's a 10 minutes drive home mid-day. I was about to turn down the block, but something was different. There are two cars in the driveway, Gail's Camry and an SUV. I've never seen that car on the block before. I didn't turn and kept on driving by. The nearby shopping center has a lot in the back behind the auto parts store. Lots of early 2000's econboxes to fit in with. Time to think.

There was always something in my gut that made me unsettled about Gail and me. Nothing overt, but a couple of things that could be taken several different ways. Quiet talking on the phone, a protection of her on-line time. In the instant I saw the two cars, I knew that I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

It could be her at home with a friend having lunch, but her work was 30 minutes away. She could have been sick and somebody from work got her home. She could have taken some comp time to prepare for the wedding. It all could be harmless and I could be blowing it all out of proportion. It could also be more.

I was not due back home until after 8 and I left before 6 in the morning. She could be entertaining somebody, male or female. Either way, another person's marriage could be built on that, but not mine. I knew I had to sneak back to the house and find out. I can't and won't live with anyone, even somebody I love, with questions of trust hanging over me. 

First things first, phone goes on silent. Camera app is turned on, ready to go. I walk from the parking lot to the north. My house is blocked by others on that side. No one at the house could see anyone approaching that way. It takes me 5 minutes to reach the back door.

I peer in and immediately know it's over. There is loud music on and a shirt and tie with her skirt littered over the living room leading to the stairs. It's over, it's all over but the yelling. My future just got pulled. The only way out of this would be a different woman up there, not Gail. But it's her purse, her clothes lying on the floor alongside somebody's briefcase, and pants.

I enter the house, shaking from the rage inside of me. Over in the corner is my softball bat. It stop myself then freak. I freaked because I've even considered it. It would give me such pleasure, and jail time. Not worth it. I don't want her any more. No trust, no partner, no love. Not the life I want to live. My phone is on camera ready. I realize that she keeps hers in her purse.

There it is, in all its glory. It's actually my phone. It's my plan. I pay that bill. I bought the phone. Her pass number is 5678, I've seen it a thousand times. I set it to silent and turn on the camera and put it on pause. We have a jar of marbles in the living room holding silk flowers. I take out most of them and put the marbles in my pocket. In case I get chased, it's hard to stay upright running on marbles. I use the house phone to call my cell. Anyone calling either phone will be busy. There will be no disturbances.

Before going upstairs, I rummage through his briefcase. He's left his phone in there, along with his wallet. Luck is with me. I open his wallet and find it's Jay, and his wife is Maria. I take pictures of his license, his family pictures and his business cards. A salesman. Looks like his wife is a nurse at the hospital. Bastard has killed two marriages. I turn his phone on to silent and look in his phone log, I immediately block phone numbers of the last twenty people that have called him. I turn on his camera and put it on pause. Then I head upstairs, listening to the sounds of my ex-betroth fuck.

I climbed up the stairs quietly, stepping around the creaking stairs that I grew up walking around. Inherited from my parents, this house has always been in my life. I inherited it after one passed from cancer and the other from the drinking from being left behind. 

I'm hearing a passionate fuck, a loud fuck. It is a fuck that is tearing apart my soul. A fuck that they wouldn't hear a baseball bat crashing down on their heads. I thank god that I didn't bring anything that I could physically hurt them with. What I will do will destroy their lives for quite a while.

I'm going to expose them, I going to bring sunlight onto their lying lives. I start recording on all three phones, their two starting from my walking up the stairs and then beyond into the bedroom. I get to our bedroom, well not our bedroom any more, she won't be here ever again after this. They take no notice as I stick the phones around the corner, recording. It makes me sick, but I stay with it. The pictures are going to explain why the wedding was called off. No need to explain why will ever be needed.

I record them fucking and sucking and planning more sessions after the wedding. I'm angry, but I dodged a bullet. I listen to him say that his wife is a bitch and she does not know anything of what he does. She says that I don't have a clue what she's doing, it's just fun. They both agree that they can keep this up forever. It was after 10 minutes of this betrayal I went back downstairs.

I save the files and send them to my work account. No one outside of work has access to that. The video had a bit of dead space in it, so I quickly edit a copy of it, cutting it down to about 5 minutes of intense fucking. Then I go through his emails. I find group emails to family, friends, work, church groups... Church groups, I've hit the jackpot. I hit reply all for the selected ones and save each in draft. 

How do I get people to read it and not just blow it off like spam? Then it comes to me. The subject matter will be "With much sorrow", like a death notice. How honest. The first line will be "With much sorrow, the marriage of and Jay and Maria is now in serious trouble. The woman he has been fucking was to get married in two weeks. Jay has destroyed that marriage too." 

I then pasted into the email, so it would show up when it was opened, a couple of still shots of them fucking and sucking each other. I've attached a copy of the 5 minute video file of them fucking and talking to each other. I don't send them yet. I tried but couldn't change the password on his email account.

His Facebook account is accessible from his phone and I post some of the more compromising pictures with great captions concerning him and his respect for his wife. I can't change his password.

I start working on Gail's phone.

She has a series of family and friends emails, work emails and the wedding list. I set them all up for reply to all and give then the same Subject matter line, "With much sorrow". The first line of the email is now "With much sorrow, the woman I was to marry in two weeks has been and had plans to continue to be unfaithful with Jay. She has broken whatever trust I ever had in her. The wedding has been permanently cancelled and her belongings have been placed on my driveway awaiting anyone to pick them up for her. Not only has she destroyed our planned marriage in two weeks, she has probably destroyed Jay and Maria's marriage too."

Being ready, I still hear them fucking upstairs. I send all his emails and hers too. I turn off his data package, turn off the sounds, and then dial a sex hotline number. I tell the woman to just stay on as long as she wants at $3.95 a minute. It may be over an hour if she's lucky. She agrees and pops up another line while waiting. After I jam a small bit of aluminum foil into the USB port in an attempt to drain the battery and make the phone unusable. I slip his phone back into his briefcase and I head into the basement. There is small room in the back where I can hear everything on the first floor, and not be seen.

I change the passwords on her gmail. I insert a couple of pictures with captions into her Facebook account. Now to change that password. She only used a single password for both. It used to be I_am_1_QueeN, and I changed both to I_am_1_Real_WhorE. Not creative, just accurate.

It was only 20 minutes later when the lovers came back downstairs. Her phone is not in her purse, but she doesn't immediately look for it and they leave. I figure I've got at least 20 minutes before they return to work and the shit starts hitting the fan. Reply all will cause much damage. I get on the phone to my friend Tom. He's a cop that's been working day shift.

He isn't busy and I get to finally talk with someone real, someone who will understand, and someone who lost a girlfriend this way a couple of years ago. He'll be by after work and spend the night, he'll run interference for me. He's got my back and will push me when I need to be pushed. There is trust there. Trust means so much in real life.

I called three friends not in the Gail/Jim group to give me a hand. They are students and two were immediately available to help me move all her crap out of the house on to the driveway. I printed a picture of Gail fucking and took the cum stained bed sheets and mounted it next to it. It was her bed. She gets to keep it now. It started to rain and we covered it with a sheet of plastic. I called a lock smith. He wasn't busy and would arrive in 20 minutes. 

I took a picture of the pile and sent it to her family and friends in an email. 

By this time, my friends Bob and Tim arrived. They understood the grief that I was going through and gave me a beer and a couple of ears to talk about what happened, what I felt. I needed to process. I began to grieve my loss. I don't feel any regret on what I've done. Trust is everything in a marriage, no trust, no marriage, no love.

The great things about having good people around you that you can trust, you can assign them tasks that you don't want to do. I had Bob look over all her text messages and Tim look at her emails on our desk top. 

The emails coming in were generally of the 'What a dumb fuck you are for cheating on Jim'. There were a couple of senders that were different. It was no surprise that the ones from her best friend Tammy was about that she was sorry she got caught. Bob immediately switched to her text massages and it was racy. Jeff is married to Tammy and he was in trouble too. He just didn't know it yet. There were even pictures attached to the text messages. Some pictures were printed, screen prints of the messages were assembled.

The best message was from Jay's wife Maria. "Don't worry. You can keep him now, him and his $50,000 in student loans with no job." My emails to his customers probably did him in.

At about 6 PM the door bell was ringing and Tom answered it. He still wore his full Police uniform as he came over as soon as his shift was over. He came back to the kitchen where I was nursing a beer. "It's Gail's father Carl. He's not angry and he wants to talk with you. That OK?" 

I nodded yes, "As long as you stay in the room."

Carl walked in slowly. "Jim, I'm so sorry for what my stupid daughter did to you." I motioned him to sit and pushed an unopened beer to him. We were beer drinking buddies.

"I can honestly say that I knew nothing about any of this shit. I thought that she was who she appeared to be." He wiped his eyes then took a swig of beer. "I don't blame you, I don't blame you at all. All I can say is that she said it was her first time." He looked at me with a glimmer of hope.

He saw the look on my face and he immediately knew. "She still isn't telling the truth Carl. After I caught them, I've gone through everything I could, and I've had my friends help me. It wasn't the first. If you want, I can show you pictures of them in the spring and the summer of this year. She's been living with me for over a year now. I bought the new couch three months ago. There's a picture of them on the old one." I hung my head in my hands then I continued. "You know they were planning on continuing it after we got married. No, this is painful. I lost what my future was going to be and now I get to find a new one."

Carl stood up and gave my shoulder a hug. "When she came home crying, she said that it was only the first time. We gave her all the time in the world to get her life back together." He paused and stood straight. "Now with this lying, she's got a week. She's still my daughter, but she only has a week." He started moving toward the door.

"I'll send a couple of people by to pick up her stuff in about an hour. Right now, could you print out a couple of her pictures of the different days? Maybe a copy of your entire video so I can show her and her mother. I going to take the stained bed sheets now while I'm waiting." I nodded and he shuffled out the door. 

It only took me a couple of minutes and he was waiting in the kitchen finishing his beer with Tom. I gave him the things and on him standing up to leave, I hugged him good bye. We both cried. I lost by bride-to-be and a great father to be. He's losing a daughter and a son-in-law to be. Nobody wins.

At about 7:30 PM Tom yelled out that Carl's pickup truck was backing into the driveway and 2 more men were leaving their cars, looking like they were going to help. Carl wasn't with them. The only one Tom or I knew was Jeff.

They waved and started taking her things out from under the plastic tarp and loading up the pickup. It only took a few minutes when they started to wave good bye, but that's when Tom came out and told Jeff there was something more inside.

I yelled out that it was in the kitchen and he should come in. Tom gave him a beer, he was going to need it. He walked in and immediately knew what it was. The laptop was open as well the text message app of a phone. He stopped cold. There was sorrow on his face and worry on mine. Tom was behind him as he sat down, then he slumped into the seat as he said. "It's about Tammy, isn't it?" And we nodded. 

"After I found Gail fucking Jay in my bed, my whole world turned upside down. Tom and a couple of other trusted friends have been able to help me do some of the investigating of all her stuff. You know that Tammy's her best friend. There are text messages back and forth on what and who they were doing. They even exchanged a couple of pictures. It's here for you to see."

"It was Dan, wasn't it?" I nodded as he continued. "I've suspected for a while, couldn't or wouldn't find out. Guess hope against hope didn't work?"

He took another sip of his beer. He looked at me, "So I guess I joined the club, didn't I. I hope that there won't be very many new members." We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then he said he needed to get back and unload the stuff, then get with his wife.

I gave him a package of print outs and pictures. "Jeff, do you want anyone with you? Don't do something stupid to Dan or Tammy. Don't do anything that is going to make you do jail time. There are other ways to make them pay, remember that, there will always be other ways. You'll have help." We hugged as he left.

On Thursday morning, there was a knock at the door. The police were searching for Tammy. She wasn't at work and there was concern that she might be in danger. I didn't know anything, but asked that I be kept informed. Before they left, that got a call. "They found her, she was at home alone, unharmed. It appears that all her clothes were completely ruined, all electronics destroyed, and she came to the apartment door in a torn blanket. Her husband packed up last night and left her. The windows on her car were all broken, but the car's in the husband's name and he's allowed to do that to his property. Thank you for your help."

By noon, I heard a knock on the door. It was Gail's mother Dot. I didn't invite her in. "What do you want?"

"Gail would like to say a few words to you. She will stay out here. Will you listen?"

"Hasn't she said everything she needs to say?"

"Can you give her this? You and I both know you are a much better person that she ever was."

Looking at the street, I see her getting out of the car. She's fully clothed this time. What a change from last time. I finally nodded my consent but added, "You will stay here the entire time and listen to it all. Agreed?"

She nodded yes and waved her. 

Gail walked slowly up the walk and stopped 4 feet from the door. "I'm sorry that you were hurt, I didn't mean to hurt you. It was just sex. It didn't mean anything."

"I'm not sorry I exposed you to the world. I did mean to hurt you and your future. You took ours away from me." I stared into her eye with total venom. "It was just trust. It meant everything. My lawyer will be sending you a bill for the wedding costs. This is a civil suit. Maybe you and your lover will cough up the cash."

I backed away from the door a foot. "Live in your dream world, but I suppose you will have to be moving soon. Your face and your ass are very recognizable now. I hope that piece of steady extra fuck was all worth it." She yelled at me to wait, but all I did was call back, "Oh, by the way, I got a call from Maria, Jay's wife. You two could move in together. He doesn't have a place to stay either." The door slammed and I went to the living room crying.

By 4 PM, I called work and put in for a transfer to another state. Then a call to a friend that is a realtor. The process to sell began immediately. The memories from me growing up here were the only things keeping me here. It's time to keep certain mementos of my childhood here, and go and have a future.

24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 02



"Ok Bill, you don't have to tell me again. I told you I'd meet your wife's friend. It's just a low keyed dinner with your wife Theresa and her friend Marie. Ok. I get it."

"Look, she's a really great person."

"Oh no, that means she's 80 lbs over weight and has 25 cats." 

"Stop it Jim. No she isn't and she doesn't." He looked at me in exasperation. I gave him grief whenever he tried to fix me up. Working together for the past year and a half and we've became great friends. This is the latest in his getting a date for me. It has been a year since my divorce. It was not a good marriage but thankfully, the divorce was not angry or overly painful. We both realized that we shouldn't have gotten married. We parted friends. She moved to the west coast and I stayed in Milwaukee.

"Look Jim, a couple of years ago Terry and I introduced Marie to Chuck, a friend of mine. It all looked good. I never knew his mean streak. Marie worked hard to keep the marriage going. She went to see a counselor and was able to drag him along a couple of months. Then he fought her tooth and nail. We didn't recognize what he was. He and I went to high school together. I never saw it. The day he slapped her in front of everybody, Terry grabbed her and I ran interference. It was pretty messy. It still took months of therapy and doing other things and then filing to get the divorce. She's been as dry as you are. It was like pulling teeth to get her to come. So please, just enjoy the company of somebody new. Can you just be nice to her?"

I laughed. "You know me Bill, you I'd give grief. This Marie sounds like she gone through difficult times. I will be more than a perfect gentleman. I will be social and you and Terry will be proud of me." Bill breathed a sigh of relief.

Five years ago at the age of 20, I was a pretty mean bastard. I lashed out when I found out Gail cheating on me two weeks before our wedding. Kicked her out, exposed her to the world, sold my house and transferred to another city. Heard later that she also disappeared. We both lost our futures that day. 

Took me quite a bit of time to get my act together again. I finally went into therapy with a Social Worker therapist. It was the best decision I ever made. I stopped running from me. Even getting married and divorced, I'm pretty solid emotionally. At 25, I have a few more life experiences to build on for the future.

One of my work decisions was to get into network administration and away from copier repair. The last couple of years I have been studying and getting certifications. For never having gone to college, I'm in a technical field that I'm good at and have to keep learning.

Bill and I walked into the restaurant and I saw Bill's wife Terry wave to me. Marie was sitting with her back to the door. Jet black hair on a medium build. To be honest, even if she was 50 pounds overweight it wouldn't matter. Some of my best dates were with people that would never be on the glamor magazines. It all depended on who they are underneath. The one's I liked we discovered that we didn't click due to other things, not appearance or weight. I do have a couple more great women friends now. 

As Bill and I walked closer, something changed. Marie was talking with Terry and I saw something. It was a specific hand gesture, it was a Gail hand gesture. It was Gail's hair and build. This was getting more weird with each step. Name is different, it can't be Gail. Another step and I hear Gail's voice.

I knew what I wanted to do, I knew immediately what I needed to do. As Bill got to the table, Terry and 'Marie' turned toward us. Gail's mouth immediately opened and a look of fear came across her face. 

Looking at her, I got out the first words. "Hello, you must be Marie. I'm Jim. May I join you?" She was still sitting there in shock and I added, "May I join you, please?" elongating the word please. It was a question asked with a pleading. Bill heard that, but it was Terry that saw the changes in her friend Marie, Gail Marie. In her fear, she nodded yes.

"Bill has been telling me a bit about you. Sounds like we both went through divorces. Mine was easy but yours was very difficult." Gail was trying to read me. It's been 5 years after we destroyed each other. Now we are sitting at the same table, in a different city, looking at each other. Older, wiser? Maybe even willing to talk with each other? "I'm very sorry, it must have been a very difficult time for you."

I think that she finally started to understand that I wasn't going to do anything negative, that I'm not angry, that I'm not going to take her down again. She's just out of an abusive relationship. I can't ever do that to another person again. 

I'm not going to blow her cover. After I exposed her for cheating on me two weeks and change before the wedding, I'm sure her name would be cannon fodder for the internet. Bill told me that I was going to have dinner with Marie Wilson. Her wedded name I guess.

She started to speak, "It was pretty bad, I did everything right this time and it didn't matter. But that is past and can we move to the present?" 

I nodded yes and she relaxed slightly. Terry, wonderful Terry, began to ask about possibly getting wine or a cocktail before dinner. She looked over Marie then at me. The seconds are dragging into hours. Everyone at the table felt it, saw it.

The tension was thick, and this is not contributing to anything good. I turned to Gail, for indeed, she was Gail to me. "This is very awkward and it was a shock to me too. It might be better if I just bow out and you can have dinner with your friends now. I don't mean to cause you anymore pain." And I started to get up to leave.

"Sit down Jim. Please sit down Jim." She elongated the please like I did. It was a plea, not an order. I stopped getting up and slowly sat back down. "Terry, Bill. This is Jim. The Jim of 5 years ago." There was a look of shock on both their faces. "We haven't seen each other in 5 years. This is the man I told that my stupid cheating was just sex, it didn't mean anything. He was the one I damaged. And after 5 years, he is sitting here in front of me wanting to not cause me any discomfort."

Both Terry and Bill were speechless. Gail had shared her history with them. They know about me, what I did 5 years ago. Now they brought the two of us together unknowingly. Terry started to stammer. "Bill only told me that he was a sys admin named Jim. I didn't know. I'm so sorry Marie. I didn't want to.." 

Marie cut her off. "Neither of you" looking at her friends, "or you" looking directly at me, "knew any of this. I think that we're all adults now. We're here, it's dinner time." Then she stared at all of us. "Would we all like to have dinner together, the four of us? I'm up for it. Jim, would you please have dinner with us? Will this be OK for you?"

Without a second of hesitation I blurted out "Yes, I would very much like to have dinner and a bit of conversation Marie." The two others nodded yes. 

Bill grabbed the wine list. This is somebody who knows nothing about wine except red or white, or pink. And he was most familiar with pink from a big box. "How about some VAL POLICE SELLA?"

Both Marie and I busted out laughing. He was quickly reading off the first thing he saw and I knew that he'd mispronounce every wine, except MD 20/20. I know Bill, he'd do anything now to change the subject. Marie took the lead on this one, "Bill that's Valpolicella. Try it slowly, 'Val' 'pole' 'it' 'chell' 'la'. It's northern and central and lighter, not a robust southern grape." 

Bill is a peasant. Always was, always will be. Direct, honest, salt of the earth. Damn good person, damn great friend. But I can't help myself on this one. "Bill, Are you going to be a Pollock your entire life?" At this we both laughed. Anybody can make an ethnic joke, ONLY IF YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THAT ETHNIC GROUP. Marie was a little shocked at first, but it finally clicked. There were a pair of 'Ski's' sitting in front of her.

I took the list from his hands and gave it to Marie, "Would you please pick something, I don't think that it's going to work with Bill doing it." I chuckled and lightly punched him in the arm. Terry started laughing, half from Bill's nervousness and the other half hers. 

Knowing the two of them well, Marie turned to me to ask what I wanted. "I'm a dry red kind of guy, but I'll drink anything. Whatever you choose that will fit for you and Terry, will be OK for me. I know that Bill is going to have a beer. I'm here for the company. Let's order a couple of appetizers too."

She gave me a second glance, and then signaled for the waitress. It was going to be a merlot. She started rattling off a couple of appetizers and we were all nodded yes. 

As the waitress walked away with our initial order, Maria turned to me. "I don't know if you've eaten here before, but this is a place for red meat, that's why I got the merlot. It was between that and a cab." I nodded and we all started talking about what was good and what was better. To be honest, I wasn't paying that much attention to the details. 

It had been 5 years. It's also been a couple of disjointed months in therapy before, during and after my marriage. I wanted some form of closure with Gail, I mean Marie. I guess it's Marie now. Her parents called her Gail Marie. I wonder if they still do. I'm starting to feel that Gail was with the old Jim and Marie was for the closure for the newer Jim? Hope springs eternal.

One of the big things I learned in therapy was to own what I did. Whenever I hear people own what they did, I give them a high level of respect. Marie broke the ice doing that today. No bullshit, just honest painful truth. I was still thinking of walking away, and she talked about her saying she was stupid, it was just sex, and she damaged me from that. 

A couple of years ago I made a decision to be truthful and take whatever comes from that. I'm not speaking nasty truthful, but honest and caring truthful. Sometimes it was bad news, like when Charlene and I realized we couldn't work it out. I put it into words and it took some weeks for us both to agree that we couldn't make it work.

I felt my arm being jostled, it was Terry. "Have you figured out what you want?" The wine had arrived and a glass was waiting for me.

"Actually, no," I was stalling to cover for my thinking of the past, "But I'm open to suggestions. I think that I'm pretty easy when it comes to food. Hey, I eat my own cooking, don't I?" 

Both Terry and Bill laughed. Burnt hotdogs on a grill is about my measure of culinary expertise. Mac and cheese too. I am great reheating with the microwave.

Then Marie surprised me. "Why don't you order the lamb?" I haven't had lamb in 5 years. I nodded yes, and then asked her what she was looking at.

"Oh, I've had the duck, but I don't know. Maybe..."

And I answered for her, "The medallions of beef have your name on it." She smiled.

We had not forgotten each other. After all, we were going to get married and had lived together in a spartan life style where we dreamed of a future that could afford things like this. She was still going to school to be a nurse when it died.

Once we figured out what we were going to eat, the awkwardness of the situation came back. It couldn't be helped. So I asked Marie if she finished her schooling to be a nurse. That brought a smile to her face and we all relaxed a bit.

"I was able to transfer to a nursing school here in Milwaukee and only was one semester behind. I have an Uncle and an Aunt that put me up for a while till I found a couple of roommates.

"It was a more rigorous program, but we're working with live people and they deserve the best that we can do. I've been working for about 3 1/2 years and have paid off all my student loans. I'm even starting to think about a masters part time. I'd like to be a Nurse Practioner.

"By the way, that's where I met Terry. We were roommates. She's been a great friend to me ever since I came here." That's when she looked at me and in a softer voice said "A great friend that supports the good things I do in life. I'm the same for her. She's a sister that I never really had."

"Marie, how are your parents doing?"

She smiled at my question. "They both retired and are getting into each others hair." She started chuckling and I smiled. "In fact, they should be here in a couple of weeks. They are traveling to Yellowstone and will spend a night with me each way. We get to visit and they get a free hotel room for the night."

Bill was looking very confused, "Jim, you told me that your ex was Gail, and this is Marie."

As Marie was taking a sip of wine, I gestured to her, "This was Gail Marie Sculotto. Her father's side is Italian, her mother's side something eastern European. That's where she got the beautiful dark hair and the blue eyes from."

Terry looked at Marie and me. "You two want to be here. I still don't get it." She looked at Marie, "You told us all about it. You should want to kill him, he should want to have nothing to do with you. I'm probably pushing this, but why are you both here?" That's when Marie answered. "We were young, and speaking for myself only, immature." 

I jumped in, "No, you are speaking for me too. I was young and hurt and very immature. I didn't physically hurt anyone. I'm not proud of what I did do. I know now that there were better ways to deal with it." 

Marie looked back at me, "Jim, you did what you had to do. I was a pretty self centered fucked up little girl. We were planning on having kids soon. Look at what my faithlessness would have done to them. You saved those kids because we didn't have them. You did good. It wasn't pleasant, it wasn't nice, but I completely deserved it. You helped me grow up."

"Marie, I'm still sorry for what I did to you. We could have split and it would have been bad, but ..."

"Jim, I was young and dumb and ..." At this point, the food arrived and stopped the conversation. We started eating and quickly changed the discussion, much to the relief of Terry and Bill. I know that they were aware that we needed to talk about this, but not with them around. I recognized that and mouthed a 'later' to Marie who nodded yes in reply.

With the food, the earlier debilitating tension was slipping into the past. I'd be lying if there wasn't an undercurrent going on, but it ended up being a pleasant dinner for the four of us.

We ended up with decaf espresso and biscotti for desert. It was heading on to 9 PM and the next day was Thursday. We all had to work. It was Terry that suggested that we call it a night. She's always been a voice of reason. 

I looked at Marie and motioned her over. "Tonight is getting rather late, but I think that we both have things to say and hear." She nodded yes. "Do you have any time this weekend? We could grab a simple meal and find a quiet place to talk?"

"Jim, I think that that would involve exchanging phone numbers, wouldn't it?" 

"I think that by now, you know that I'm not going to bite and I don't think you're packing a piece in your purse." She gave me a dirty look, and then realized I wasn't serious. So we exchanged numbers. Bill had driven me from work and was going to drop me off there now. Terry and Marie drove separately.

Getting into the car with Bill, I was ambushed. "Why didn't you tell me all this stuff? We almost got killed tonight. Do you have any idea the shit I'm going to get when I get home?"

All I could do was to start laughing. He got a bit pissed at me for that. But I started laughing longer and harder and finally broke down and started sobbing like mad. So much held inside of me, so much touched and released. Bill stopped cursing me when he realized what I was doing and pulled over.

It was over 10 minutes later when I began to recover. I felt empty. Good empty not bad empty. Maybe not empty, but a weight was lifted from me. The only bad thing was the flood of old feelings flooding back in.

"Jim, we need to pick up your car and get that home. Then we're going to ..."

"It all came back, it all came back..."

"Hang in there buddy, we'll get to your place and we can talk some more, OK?

It took another 20 minutes for me to get back home. I plopped on the couch and Bill got out a bottle of my vodka. "I'm not going to waste your whiskey on you, you're not going to taste it. I got a text from Terry, she's going to be home late tonight." He smiled at me, "Looks like we're both going to be doing some listening." He handed me four fingers of vodka with lime and popped open a can of soda for himself. "I gotta drive, you gotta talk. And you can crawl to your bed tonight. Where do you want to start?"



24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 03



"Marie, the beer here is good if you order the crafts. In the years I've been in Milwaukee, I finally lost my taste for guzzling the cold tasteless beers of my youth. I'd rather have one great one than a couple of them."

"It took you a while to get there Jim, I remember telling you that it's about having a small amount of the best things, then having a lot of anything." Suddenly her face recognized what she just said. "That was my problem in Cincinnati, wasn't it? I didn't listen to my own advice, did I?"

We were both quiet for a few minutes. It was Saturday afternoon, only 3 days after we were tossed back together after 5 years of not ever seeing one another or even know that we both moved to Milwaukee. Neither of us had closure. Over the years, we both tried to come to terms with what happened and move on. From the little time we spoke to each other at dinner and from what Bill told me, I knew that she tried hard to save her marriage. I hope she heard from me that I didn't ever want to hurt her and that there were better ways of handling bad things.

I looked at her. Gail Marie Sculotto is now G. Marie Wilson. She hasn't changed her name since her divorce. It's a pain to legally change names, especially again. But I think it was also a way to drop the past behind. Now she has two pasts to leave behind.

"I'm going to be honest with you Marie, I had a real rough night on Wednesday. Bill stayed with me until midnight. I was..."

"You too? Terry didn't get home at all. We ended up, well I ended up talking and crying and whatever till one in the morning when we collapsed. Thank god her house is on the way to work and we got up early enough. She ran into her house, kissed Bill good morning, changed into a clean nurse uniform and ran into work with me."

"Marie, there are so many things to talk about, so many areas to ...I don't know where or how to start. One thing I will tell you is that I will be honest, not mean or nasty honest, but honest in what I say. I realize that I still have a lot of anger in me and I'll keep it in check." She looked a bit worried. She was slapped by her husband in public. I wonder how many times in happened in private.

"Please don't worry about me being physical or loud or threatening. When I came home and saw you in bed with him, I could have done something physical to both of you then. I didn't then and I'm not going to start anything different, except to get things out in a very appropriate manner.

"Jim?" She was looking directly into my eyes with a very pained expression. I'm sure mine were the same. "I don't know either but how about this? Can we talk about what happened afterword, what we did with our lives after that day? Then we can go back to the start? To when we were engaged? I know it'll be hanging over our heads the entire time we talk. But to be honest with you, I've thought about this for years. I know this is going to sound very stupid, but can you trust me on this one?"

"There's been a lot of water under the bridge, and some over it too. Neither of us looks like we're going to bolt. If I read you right, you're here, just like me. Some closure? Some understanding? Something to fill the void?" She nodded yes. "Who wants to start?"

"It was my idea and I'd be a bit more prepared, so how about me?" I nodded and she continued.

"My father came home from seeing you and let me have it for lying again. This time it was lying to him. He gave me a week to get the hell out of the house and he spent that week somewhere else. I never saw him, I never saw him or talked with him or my mother for 6 months. For that week, it was just me and mom.

"My mom told me that day that I had 24 hours to cry. Then I needed to get my act together. That was all the time I had. There would be none to waste. After that day, I needed to create a new life, away from home. 

"I won't get into the details, emotional or physical. I quickly realized that I had thrown you under the bus, and you returned the favor. My listening and believing Tammy destroyed you and then me. She actually called me a couple of days later. Her husband had left her and she needed a roommate to meet rent.

"By that time, I had started researching nursing schools away from southern Ohio and found this one in Milwaukee that would take my credits and admit me, but it was going to require another semester. The school also cost more. I had an Aunt and Uncle in Milwaukee that even after hearing what I had done, welcomed me for a couple of months until I could get back on my feet. After three months, I finally found a couple of girls from the nursing program to share an apartment with.

"That's where I met Terry. She was dating Bill. I didn't fill them much on my past, but they accepted me. I was still pretty fragile and making my way in life. I can thank god for the student counseling services at the school. 

"After graduation. Terry and Bill were getting married. I was invited to the bachelorette party. I'll cut to the chase. We went to a male stripper club and things were getting raunchy pretty quick. Some of the girls were pretty wasted and started doing oral on the strippers, no condoms. When I saw Terry start to reach for the stripper's cock, I pulled her away, lying to her that she needed anther drink first. 

"You would have been proud of me. I laced into her, I got in her face. I know Bill, not only would he not approve, he could do something like you did to me. That's when I quickly told her what I did and what happened to me.

"Then right between the eyes at her bachelorette party I asked her, yes or no, would this be worth throwing away her entire future for? She had a couple of drinks in her, but this sobered her up. 

"She and I left together about 5 minutes later. About 6 months after their wedding, Bill pulled me on the side. Terry told him what nearly happened and what I did. He was thanking me for that. Ever since then, the three of us have always had each others backs. Terry told me yesterday that Bill was supporting you. I don't know what was said, but that he was there. I wanted you to know that up front. I don't lie anymore, I can't stand it when it happens to me. That was part of my life before and part of my marriage."

During this time, Marie was looking at me then the floor and then back at me several times. My eyes had been riveted to hers. I saw how she felt about things from the look on her face, from her inflections, the ways her eyes were averted at some of the difficult parts of her life.

She stopped for a moment and straightened her posture to prepare for this next painful part.

"Marie, do you want a break? We have as much time as we need. Neither of us are going anywhere but here."

"No Jim, I've practiced this over the past 5 years and I have to say it. Never thought I would. I always thought that even if I did find you, you'd turn me away. When you showed up on Wednesday and you treated me with respect and thoughtfulness..." at this she began to cry. I pulled out a spare clean bandana and passed it to her. I had brought two for me to use on the way home when I would be alone.

She took a couple of minutes to gather herself. I told her that I would get us some water and another beer and some bar food. It was chilly outside this day and I left my coat with my keys on top in front of her. I didn't know if she noticed.

The lines were long and it was about 10 minutes until I got back. She thanked me, but said she needed to use the facilities and said she'd be right back. She left her coat, keys and her phone in plain sight for me to see. I looked at the phone and thought about that day 5 years ago. When she returned, I was still staring at the phone.

We both took a healthy drink of water and munched on the food. We talked about the tastiness and all the bad things in bar food. We needed a break and this was a good one. 

When we finished eating, she started talking again. "Now about my marriage. That was a disaster, but not at first. At first, I think we loved and cared for each other. He was warm and supportive and did all the right things. Looking back at it in my therapy, I really couldn't come up with any red flags at all until after 5 months went by."

She chuckled a little and then continued. "I was introduced to Mark by Terry and Bill. He was a friend of Bill's from high school. When he started to be less nice after 6 months, I thought it was the 6 month rule." I looked at her with a question in my face.

"The 6 month rule?"

"Oh yea. Works for both men and women, but it usually hit guys hardest. At least that's what Bill and a couple of other guys have told me. After 6 months of being married, your partner doesn't have to treat you as good as before. The honeymoon is over. Living together, it doesn't work that way. It's the marriage that makes the difference, not even living together for a couple of years.

Marriage is different. You move to real life, not courting. They don't love you less, but they don't have to go the extra step. My married girl friends have said that's when they stopped swallowing. The number of blow jobs starts to rapidly diminish too." She chuckled at this one, I groaned. It was true for me too but it started at 3 months.

"Well anyway, he changed. Not a little bit, but a lot. By the time we were married 9 months, he was into verbal tirades. By a year, he slapped me. Apologized for it afterwards and didn't do it again until we were out and that's when Terry and Bill saw it.

"I won't bore you with the interventions we had. His parents, our friends, the counseling. If it wasn't for a LCSW I went to, Genevieve..."

"Gene Hallon?" Marie nodded yes with a surprised look on her face. "Is she still off of Van Buren? I remember she wanted to move her office."

"You know her too?"

"She was helpful in getting me to the point where I could get on with my life. She helped when I showed up in town and then during and after my divorce. Pretty nice lady. You used her too I take it?"

Marie looked at me with something in her eyes. Like a memory or a thought. She physically shook her head to clear it. Marie's determination to finish took back over.

"Well, the short of it. He kept this under control most of his life. But being married didn't allow him enough alone time to continue to keep it under wraps. He needs meds. In our sessions I found out that he tried a series of them. Side effects are awful sometimes. The couple that actually worked for him took away his sex drive. He said in one of our final sessions that he'd rather be fucking and crazy then not fucking at all." She quietly laughed a very sad laugh to herself. "He bolted after that and we filed soon afterward.

"I also used Gene to work out things in my life from this marriage and our near marriage, my fucking around. One of the things I realized was that I've been punishing myself for what I did to you. When I started getting verbally abused, then hit the first time, I thought it was a righteous punishment for me. I wasn't going to do anything about it if it happened again. Only because he did it in front of Bill and Theresa and they pulled me out of there, was I forced to realize what I was doing. 

"I haven't been in the dating scene for over a year, and these two good friends of mine tried to fix me up with somebody that they approved of. They even took extra care this time." 

She paused a minute and her face now showed real pain. "I have to talk about cheating on you and thinking nothing of it." She screwed up her face with the pain we both knew was coming. "When I said that it was just sex and it meant nothing, I was telling you my truth. It was not the truth for reality, not for the world, not for you, just my twisted truth in the land of pretend.

"I could try to blame this all on Tammy. She was cheating on Jeff for a couple of months. No one would know, it doesn't hurt anybody, all that bullshit. It was exciting for her, and then for me to listen to it.

"I was able to talk with my Dad's mother Rosa a couple of years before she died. She was a very pious woman and a good listener. We talked about what I had done. For some reason she started telling me that she stopped listening to Rush on the radio. This was out of left field and I started wondering if she was starting to lose it. She heard the concern in my voice and asked for a couple of minutes to be patient.

"One day my father, who tends to be not political at all, was over at her apartment when Rush came on. While she was saying the rosary and listening to Rush, he asked her a question. Is this someone that does what Jesus would do and be? Then he stated to actually repeat what Rush was saying and implying. This was not her faith that she was listening to. Her faith kept her going over 5 years after my grandfather died. She said that after hearing so clearly from her son's mouth repeating all the messages Rush was saying, she never listened to Rush again. 

[For those of you who would like to get upset about this political/religious issue, this situation actually happened as reported by a friend of mine. Some minor liberties were taken, but the core of what is here is what happened. Get upset about the reality, not about its use in explaining human nature in this story.]

"She told me that it's easy to listen to people and do things that make us feel good, and never question anything about it. My grandmother said that she was addicted to the 'He's got them now' to never hear his whole message. She said that the same thing happened to me. 

"I liked the excitement, the thrill of what I was hearing, I never looked at the entire message. I didn't see you, I only saw me. Thank god you didn't marry me. I am so sorry that I have caused so much grief in your life." At that, she started crying again.

I was an afterthought to her, to Gail. I wasn't important enough to be considered as anything. Trust took a back seat to sexual thrills. That's not a marriage. But Marie thinks differently, she's not Gail, just looks like her. It's hard, and not hard to see that the people that we were 5 years ago are not the same people we are today. At least I hope that this is true.

I realized that Marie has been looking directly at my eyes, attempting to see my response to what she said. I understood and smiled, then I chuckled then I began to laugh. I saw Marie getting upset and hurt. She didn't understand. "Marie, before anything more happens, remember, we've both gone to Gene. One of her biggest things in therapy was to get us to completely own what and why we did something.

"When I was getting up to leave at the start of dinner on Wednesday, you immediately let me know what you did. You owned it in front of me, in front of them. You just did it now. You're not pretending, you're real. I haven't gotten the chance to own what I did yet..."

"Yes you have, you said.."

"Not the way I need to. You have. I believe you, I trust what you are saying. I'm laughing because we both learned this from Gene." I stopped a few seconds, "we're on the same page right now, we've connected, we're there. Do you understand that? After 5 years, one dinner and hanging in this back booth in this bar that is starting to get a bit noisy, we're there."

We both stopped talking to understand what I just said. I understood that she wasn't finished. There was no way to be finished at this stage. But she gave it her shot, she gave it from her inner soul. There is always so much more to do and say and ask questions. But I got enough for now. She looked at me and we both understood, and we communicated in silence.

"I guess that it's my turn, isn't it." She nodded and leaned forward on the chair. It was my turn to be honest and put myself on the table like she had. I also had been thinking about it over these years. Not as hard as she did, but still, never the less. It was in the background.

"I got to work that day and the new copiers weren't ready and the client wasn't ready for them either. I fixed one of them and decided to come home for lunch. Driving past our block, I saw two cars in the driveway. Yours and an SUV. I tried to talk myself out of thinking you'd be unfaithful, but knew I had to know." Marie started to cry, she was holding her face in her hands. I stopped talking and waited. I've waited for five years now. I needed to see her face when I told her what she did to me. She used the bandana that I gave her to wipe her eyes. Then she looked back up to me and motioned for me to continue.

"I parked at the back of the shopping center. When I got to the back door, I saw clothes. Your clothes and his clothes over the first floor. I got into the house and to be honest with you, my baseball bat where we hung our coats came into view. Neither of you would have been able to stop me." Her eyes were wide, she never thought that her having 'only sex' could ever lead to injury or even murder.

"I had my phone primed to take pictures. It was all over for us when I saw those clothes. That's when I grabbed the marbles in the vase. If anybody was going to run after me, I was going to make sure they'd be sprawled on the floor or down the stairs. I found your phone, then his. Got them primed for recording you two. 

"Just hearing you two go at it was enough to make me sick. Having to watch 10 minutes of it to send out to everybody, I put up with it. You took our future away from me, and I knew that I was going to take both of yours away too."

At this point Marie began to sob and I had to stop. I wasn't stopping to punish her for what she had done, although that ended up being a part of it. I stopped because I needed to tell her, to her face, for her to hear, for me to get it all out. She needed to understand it from my side, to hear it from me. Pain was part of it, not to inflict, but to share for the first time with her. It wasn't to give pain her, it was to share the pain with her. I think we both knew this. I listened to what she had gone through and understood what I had done too. I took a sip of my beer. Unfortunately, all I tasted was bitterness. The bad taste in my mouth overcame everything.

After a few minutes, I began again. "I captured enough video to explain why the wedding was over and went back downstairs. Pulled out the emails that had long email address lists, work emails, family ones and face book too. Set up your phone the same way too. Then I sent them all out, dialed a sex chat line for him and silenced his phone as well as possible. Yours I kept, after all, I owned it.

"Then I went into the basement and waited for you two to leave. Called people up and moved all your stuff onto the driveway. I had some friends go through all your communications. 

"You learned all of this from Tammy, didn't you?" She weakly nodded to me. "I had somebody go through all your stuff and when Jeff came to pick up your things, we told him and gave him some of those pictures she sent of her and her lover to you. He thought it was happening, hoped it wasn't. 

"I had said goodbye to your father earlier that day. I was shutting down but I was smart enough to keep good people around me. I didn't do anything stupid. Stupid is defined as something to go to jail for. I realized that I was going to leave town, leave this whole fucking mess behind me. I knew from my job that I could transfer out. Barry's wife was a realtor and I knew I could get rid of my house real quick, the market was hot and the school system wasn't so bad. 

I paused and took another gulp of the beer. It still tasted bitter to me. I knew I had to continue talking about the important things now.

"You have no idea how much your betrayal hurt. How could it be just sex? How could my being, my love, my hopes and dreams for both of us be so worthless to you? Maybe there are people out there who don't think twice about sleeping around. They're in their own world. That's not my world. I've been on my own since I was 18 when my last parent died. I wanted to make a new life, a life with somebody who would have my back, and I'd have theirs.




24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 03



"This is who I am and will be till I die. Even with Bill, we've been good friends for over a year and a half. I'd go to hell and back for him if he'd ask, or if he'd need it and wouldn't ask. That trust in another made your betrayal so devastating, that's why I needed to hurt you as much as I was hurting. It's been good that we haven't even known where the other was for the past 5 years, and I haven't looked. It's taken that long to heal and to grow.

"If I should marry again and that wife decides to do something as shitty as you did, it would still hurt. But I wouldn't be devastated by it. I wouldn't hurt her as bad as what I did to you. I'm older and I now have a sense of integrity, a sense of being, a ... sense of self. We both learned from Gene to own what we did to others. I know that I'd never try to destroy somebody else again, no matter how nasty they were to me."

I stopped talking and took another gulp of the beer. I was able to start tasting it now. It wasn't vile like it had been minutes ago. I looked over and saw Marie wipe the tears from her eyes. She was still stunned, but she knew what I was saying. She knew what I was feeling and that she was the one that destroyed our near marriage. We sat in outward silence for a few minutes, there was no quite on my inside.

"The next day, you showed up with your mother. You really believed that it was only just sex. Were you really that shallow?" 

She nodded yes. "I was pretty stupid and shallow too. Never looked beyond the present. No way to take it back, none, impossible. All I've done with my life since then is to be the most upstanding and honest person I could be." She wiped her eyes again. "It took me 6 months to fully and honestly apologize to my parents. For quite a while, they wouldn't even listen to me on the phone. I found out that there was a weekend they were supposed to be home and I showed up at 7 in the morning. If I could have found sack cloth and ashes, I would have done it. We talked till noon and they welcomed me back as their daughter.

"One year after it happened, I wrote a sincere letter of apology to Mary, Jay's wife. I asked my father to contact her and deliver it. I got a phone call back from her. Appears that he'd been roaming for a while. The mass emails only put it out for everybody to see. The divorce was actually a relief for her. She was able to start a new life without that millstone of a husband around her neck. He moved to Florida and she hadn't heard from or of him for a year when I had apologized to her. We still send each other Christmas cards and a note.

"Marie, let me get back to what happened to me. I got a transfer to Milwaukee. Lucky for me, the housing market tanked later that year and I was renting. I waited another year to buy again. It was a repo house that demanded my extra time. For the money I got from the house and what I saved, I moved up in houses. So for that I should thank you." I stopped and took a long drink of my beer. The beer was tasting better than before. 

"Jim, you never sent me a bill for the wedding. You ate all those costs. Why? I was the one who tossed it all away. Why didn't you do it?"

"Marie, I was pretty dangerous for quite a while. I didn't want to tempt fate. Then I actually started a new life up here, moved up here pretty quickly. After a couple of months I found Gene. Somebody recommended her to me. I learned a lot in those next 5 months.

"During that time, I started studying to be a network Sys Admin and getting the certifications. Copiers are printers and are part of networks now and I had enough experience to understand what I was getting into. I was also getting tired of breathing in the copier fumes.

"I started dating again and I met Charlene. After a year, we got serious and 6 months after that, we married in a small ceremony. It was 6 months into the marriage we were having problems. I am very happy to say that we both tried hard to work it out. I started seeing Gene again and then we saw somebody else together. We faced facts and parted on good terms.

"It was nice to end a relationship working with someone, not blowing up at them. I haven't gone out much after that and then this idiot friend of mine kept pestering me to see this Marie friend of his wife's. I wasn't much interested but I agreed anyway. I gave him polite grief all the time about it, whenever I could. He said that she had a hard time in life. Guess he was afraid that I'd be mean or nasty. I told him that I'd be a gentleman in meeting her after her atrocious divorce. I would make him proud.

"Twenty feet from the table I saw your back, you were talking with Terry. That's when you made a hand gesture, a Gail hand gesture. At 5 feet, I heard your voice. It was you. I had to be the first out to talk. I wasn't going to blow your cover if you had one. The fear on your face when I appeared was only second to the fear that I felt inside. Then I asked if I could join you Marie, not Gail. 

"After a couple of minutes, I realized that this really wasn't working and that's when I said I should leave. You had other ideas. The thing that kept me there was your owning what you did, and doing it right away. Never realized that you'd been seeing Gene too. That admission opened the door. I had to admit what I did too. I guess we studied under the same Master teacher." I paused and took some more beer. It was downright tasty this time.

"Do you think that I've done Bill proud?"

She nodded yes, but we both sat there in silence. We were both drained. Like when I cried last Wednesday night in the car. Years of emotions had spilled out and the vessels were light and empty now, but not very strong.



24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 04



The door bell rang and Marie yelled out from the kitchen, "Jim, should be my folks, I'm draining the pasta. Where do you hide the colander, quick before I over cook it."

Walking to the front door I yelled back, "Wall with the fridge, floor cabinet, third door from the right." The door bell rang again as I opened it. Standing there looking slightly amused and very tired were Dot and Carl, Marie's parents. "Well, come on in, I can take your sweaters and you can put your luggage off to the side now. Sit down and take a rest. The two extra hours in rush hour traffic in Chicago had to be draining. Marie's in the kitchen cooking. What can I get you to drink?" 

Dot grabbed me and gave me a big hug. "Jim, thanks so much for allowing us to have an overnight here. I love my daughter, but a blow-up air mattress in her tiny apartment does not do good things to my bones. You're a life saver." 

"Well Dot, what would you like to drink before dinner? We have all kinds of wine, red and white and pink, box and jug, cork and screw top..."

Marie called out from the kitchen, "Mom, just come on in here. Besides, I could use your help on the main course. Everything to drink is supposed to be in here."

That's when Carl approached me and gave me a big hug. "It's been a long time Jim, it's been a lifetime."

Great to have dinner with those two again. They are good people and I've really missed them. "What can I get you drink? Wine and beer in the kitchen, and I will gladly run the gauntlet to get some, but the harder stuff is about 10 feet behind me, and I filled the ice bucket. You won't be driving till morning, so could I interest you in a little Templeton Rye before dinner? We can drink the cheaper stuff or go to beer later."

"Man after my own heart. This being retired is one thing. Rush hour traffic on a weekend in not my idea of fun. Would you join me in two fingers worth? I glanced in the kitchen and we have about 20 minutes before they'll be ready."

"I was looking just before you came and I saw 30. This is the first time she's cooked here and has no idea where I hide things."

"I have to thank you once again for letting us have dinner here and spend the night. She has this tiny apartment and tiny kitchen. The actual size of her stove is on par with a smaller Coleman stove. To add to that, Dot has real trouble getting up from the blow up air mattress on the floor."

"I hadn't seen Marie for a couple of weeks after we sat down together and talked things out. Our friends Bill and Terry invited us both for dinner at their house. It was a lot less tense that time." At this we both laughed. Marie has been honest and open with her parents and I knew she would have told them.

"Well, during dinner she said that you two were taking a three week tour of the west and were going to spend a night with here, both ways. A little later she talked about borrowing the air mattress pump from Terry. That's when I found out you were going to be on the floor. I've wanted to see both of you, so I offered.

"I get down to Cincinnati about once a year to visit my parent's graves and spend an overnight or two with my Uncle and Aunt. They have a one bedroom condo and I get to sleep on their air mattress in the living room. It's not fun for me and it had to be worse for you two."

Then I put on a very serious look on my face. "I had ulterior motives for having you both down here, but she saw through me right away." Carl looked at me very seriously. "I knew that she would have to cook here, and I'd claim the leftovers."

He chuckled and toasted me. "Carl, Gail Marie was always a good cook and I'll never be. I love good cooking, but I'll never be invested in it enough to do it. 

"But she got back at me right away. She asked how clean the house was and I said that it was clean. Then she asked, as her parents were going to spend the night there, was it Mom clean or Dad clean? Busted big time. All I've done in the past year was Dad level cleaning. I haven't done a top to bottom cleaning since Charlene left after the divorce. I've spent the past three days working at it. When Marie walked in here for the first time earlier today, she gave me her seal of approval." 

Carl chuckled, "That's good. You have no idea how long I would hear about it if it wasn't just so. But you knew that routine." Then he shook his glass for a refill. Mine was empty too, but I only poured a single finger now. "We'd better slow down or we could get into real trouble." He nodded in agreement.

"I'm only planning on having dinner with you and then I'll disappear so you can spend time with Marie. You all need that quiet time together. I'll come back later this evening."

"Don't you dare. This is your house, we are your guests and don't you dare disappear. We have things to catch up on too. Besides, while we were stuck in downtown Chicago traffic, Gail Marie told us that she has to start early tomorrow morning. The regular charge nurse will be out for a family death and she has to cover. It probably slipped her mind. It was a crazy day for her at work. No, stay and visit with us all."

Carl and I sat and talked about things for about 25 minutes when we heard a come-and-get-it from the kitchen, then a set-the-damn-table-while-you're-at-it. We both laughed. The whiskey was helping our attitudes with the women we were familiar with.

We set the table in the dining room. It hasn't been set in over a year and a half. That's when Charlene and I started addressing the trouble in our marriage. No more dinners with our friends happened after that.

As Carl and I sat down, the mother and daughter started placing the dinner on the table. Dot brought out, as I call it, a fancy-schmancy salad with walnuts, cranberries, feta and other stuff. This was followed by several kinds of vegetables and slightly floured chicken breasts pan fired in olive oil and seasonings. I remember meals like that at Dot's and Carl's house with Gail. Now I'm experiencing it with Marie at my own house. The world is a strange place.

The great part about this dinner was that it was not strained, not on edge. I always got along well with my once futures. They and I were genuinely glad to see one another. All of the conversation was animated and warm. We all knew our limits with one another, but we were grateful to be with one another. It was a typical dinner for the four of us, about 2 hours, only over 5 years later.

When it came time for desert, Carl excused himself and went to the living room. He returned with a bottle of grappa. He always had a little bit of grappa in the espresso after dinner and this was not going to be an exception. It tasted like it always had, strong, substantial and different. Italian moonshine with a strong flavor.

It was getting on to 9:30 and Marie apologized for needing to leave. She wanted to clean up, but her mother demanded to be allowed to clean up and put everything away under my direction. Saturday morning at 4:30 would be here sooner than she planned and Marie said her goodbye to her parents, hugged them and bade me a thank you with a good night and left.

Dot told Carl to keep me busy for the next 15 minutes while she started cleaning up. I wasn't going to have any of that and said that if I helped, we'd all be able to relax. It took the three of us less than 10 minutes to clean up and wash everything.

That's when Dot said that she'd like some of that rye. I grabbed three clean glasses, the rye and some bourbon and we retired to the living room where it was most comfortable. 

"So I hear retirement is a good thing Carl?"

"Well, it beats getting up and going to work. But to be real, no job, no money. We've lived our lives being cheap and we'll do it until we die. It was nice of you to let us have your spare bedroom tonight."

"And you and Dot are invited to be here when you come back on your way home."

"Ok, on one condition Jim. I get to bar-b-que. You get the grill and the coals, and I'll do a slab of short ribs with garlic and onion salt that will send you to the moon."

"Carl, this is Wisconsin, I'll get some brats too. It's required by law.

"I do remember those bar-b-qued short ribs. No sauce. I mean I sometimes still dream about them. You got a deal if I bring the beer and the whiskey."

"Sold."

"Excuse me gentlemen, but as the only female member of this gathering, I'd like to add my two cents." She paused and we chuckled with her. Dot was a wonderful warm and very human woman. "I'll be responsible for the mojito's if you can find me a source of mint."

"My back yard has a 2 by 5 foot patch of fresh mint. Good thing that I'll be able to crawl home." 

We talked for the next hour. At one point, I made a comment about Marie telling me that she didn't speak to Carl or Dot for 6 months.

"Jim, you haven't spent enough time with Gail Marie to find out everything. Right after I confronted her, I went to see my sister here in Milwaukee. I knew she had a very close friend in admissions at the nursing school. I begged and pleaded my sister to talk with that woman. We got her transcripts and found out she could be accepted. My sister agreed to host her until she found some roommates.

"When you exposed Gail Marie, you showed us that the Princess that we raised wasn't going to make it. She needed to step up to the plate, get on her own two feet, be responsible. We couldn't set her adrift, but we could set it up that she'd have to perform in life. And we did.

"My sister was giving us daily then after a couple of months, twice weekly reports on her. Then at 6 months, Gail Marie showed up on our doorstep. She was not the same girl we saw 6 months before. We saw a woman that was rapidly growing up. It wasn't only rough for her. It was as bad for us.

"Jim, you were the one that was grounding her. We had great hopes you would 'cure' what we allowed to happen with her. Then she fucked it all up." That's when Dot wacked his arm. She wasn't anti-vulgarity, it just had to be a damn good reason to use it.

Dot spoke to both of us, "Carl, you know how I feel, but Jim doesn't. Jim, I told you the last time I spoke to you that you were better than she was. I can say at this point, I think that you both are neck and neck. Before I hoped that your presence would cause her to grow. Your taking away that life she had actually did it. Thank you. It was painful for all of us, but she is such a better person than she ever was before."

Carl looked directly at me and asked, "Jim, may I ask you a real personal question that you don't have to answer? We have a good relationship and I don't want to put it into jeopardy."

"How about if I don't want to answer it, I'll tell you that?" They both nodded. 

"Where are you at with Gail Marie? I'm not pushing." Then Dot broke in with "He's only probing" and we all laughed.

"I'll answer but you may not like the answer, only because I don't really know the answer. It's all been so new. But to be honest, I'm scared of getting involved with her again. I've been making it a point of not physically touching her in any way at all. Keeping that moat between us." 

Dot replied, "Only with your hands you haven't touched her. You have no idea how much you have touched her that first day and since then. No idea. I am damn proud of you for that. Not damn proud." She looked at Carl and chuckled, "God Damn proud." And we all laughed. It wasn't a joke, it was a statement.

We ended opening up another bottle of bourbon and the sweet vermouth and finally got to bed by 3. It was all worth it. Dot cooked us brunch at 10:30 and they left at 11:30. Such fine people.



24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 05



5 years-10 weeks Again

"Jim, I'm heading to the can." Bill paused, " I'm going to be there for a bit, to take a.. " He laughed. Classic Bill when Terry wasn't around. He was a poet and did know it. "Why don't you plug your phone into the wall and see if you can call Terry. I didn't bring my plug-in charger."

"No problem Bill. It feels good just to sit down in some place half-way clean. This cafeteria is tiny by Milwaukee standards, but these little hospitals in the middle of nowhere, I guess it's just good enough for what they need."

After a few minutes, my phone finally picked enough of a charge and we're in a town. Finally, cell reception. That's when I realized I didn't have Terry's cell number. I can call Marie and have her call or get the number from her. 

"Hello Marie, it's Jim, can you call Terry..."

"JIM. IT'S JIM. TERRY IT'S JIM. WHERE ARE YOU?"

"We're at the Emergency Room in ..."

"OH MY GOD, HOW BAD ARE YOU HURT?"

"Marie, I'm not in the hospital, we just ..."

"WHERE'S BILL? TERRY WANTS TO KNOW WHERE BILL'S AT. IS HE HURT? HOW BAD IS HE HURT?" 

"He's in over in the..."

"HOW BAD IS HE HURT?"

"STOP. STOP..."

"HOW BAD ARE YOU HURT?. BILL..."

"S T O P"

"WAIT A ..."

I hear the phone being passed. Now it's Terry.

"JIM, HOW BAD ARE YOU GUYS HURT? WHERE ARE YOU AT? WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT..."

"S T O P"

"HOW ARE..."

"S T O P"

"WHAT ABOUT..."

"S T O P"

There was a slight break in the call. "PUT ME ON SPEAKER PHONE NOW. THEN WAIT UNTIL I TALK." I hear a couple of buttons being pressed then the wonderful echo of speaker phone radiated from the phone.

"Are you both ready? YES OR NO ANSWERS ONLY." I hear two muted yes answers.

"NUMBER 1. NO ONE HERE IS HURT. UNDERSTAND? YES OR NO ONLY"

I hear two relieved yes answers.

"NUMBER 2. WE HIT A STORM AND HAD TO WAIT IT OUT FOR A DAY. UNDERSTAND? YES OR NO ONLY"

I hear two more relieved yes answers.

"NUMBER 3. The cell phones at the car were drained. I dropped the car charger in a puddle. We showed up here at the ER in a little town on the way home because we had to go to the washroom and try to plug in for a recharge. There's no cell phone coverage in the boonies. We're going to see if we can hit their cafeteria for something to eat. ok? Wait before you talk. Wait a minute, Bill just got back from the can. Here he is and it's my turn to go. Bye" 

Relieving myself in a real bathroom was a treat after a week on the river. The northern Wisconsin state bird, the mosquito would attack every time. I was daydreaming one time when I even got a mosquito bite on my cock. It was worse if you had to take a shit because the deer flies would also attack. Now I get to wash my face and hands the first time in a day, unless you count the rain. Looking into the mirror, it's a week of beard and a calm face. A week on the Flambeau flowage is therapy. And on the Flambeau with a friend that will listen and ask an occasional difficult question, priceless.

By the time I got back from the washroom, Bill was ready to go. "We've got marching orders, we're going straight home."

"Bill, you can drop me off at my house and I'll get my stuff tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a long hot shower followed by a steak and a tall stout that I have in my fridge."

"Maybe you didn't hear me. I said WE are going straight home. WE do not pass go, WE do not collect $200. That is unless WE want to go to a funeral, either mine or yours, but probably both. My guess that WE would receive a slow and painful death if WE don't do this." He paused and gripped my shoulder and spoke a bit softer. "There was a massive tornado in our area the day it stormed and we were in the tent and didn't travel. We're about 30 hours late checking in. They thought they lost us. We have to go. OK?" 

I nodded yes. Now it makes so much sense. "The cafeteria is going to close in a few minutes. You get the coffees and I'll get some food that isn't freeze dried or walleye. We have a three hour trip ahead of us. I have a feeling that they won't care that we haven't showered or shaved for the past week. I've been bending your ear about Marie half the trip. Can you handle another hour?"

"Jim, that's what friends are for. But you owe me a bottle of cognac for that." Pollocks like cognac.

"Bill, only if it's a handle and we both empty it together." We laughed and I began the next leg of a trip that was over 5 years in the making.

It's been ten weeks since Marie came back into my life, and it's been a gut wrenching ten weeks. Gut wrenching in a good way... sometimes... maybe... occasionally? 

This long planned trip with Bill to canoe and fish in the shallow flowages in northwestern Wisconsin was supposed to be a way to get away from it all. I brought it all with me and Bill got to hear it all, several times. I owe him more than a handle of great cognac. For what he did for me, a case of the best cognac still wouldn't be enough.

Marie and I have been dancing around each other for the past ten weeks. Neither of us willing to take a step to either end the dancing and go away, or get closer. Both are scary things. 

Five years apart, we both married and divorced, both not seeing anyone else for the past year. Her parents came into town twice and stayed with me both times because I offered and had the extra bed. While she was at work, I got to hear from them about other things in her life, the great things she's done and hasn't told me. I've been afraid. Just fucking afraid to stay or go.

This trip was supposed to be a week of canoeing and fishing and not thinking about a damn thing. Now with a week of body grime covered by our only set of clean dry clothes, I'll be face to face with her again. 

I can't deny what I heard today, the worry, the concern. I've seen her reaching out to me for the past two months, then checking herself. Thought that if I didn't physically touch her, we would keep our emotional distance from each other. Fat chance for that. 

It was 2 AM when we finally arrived at Bill and Terry's house. All the lights were on and both women met us at the car when we drove up. Bill and I had to drive with the windows cracked in the cold night air. We were pretty fragrant. Getting out of the car, Bill got a big hug and a squeal of delight. I could see the relief in Terry's face. Marie looked at me pensively, not knowing what to do. 

When you make up your mind, do it. Bill and I missed our traditional sauna after the trip. In the steamy sauna built over a lake, we used to sweat off the dirt and grime. The hard part was jumping into the cold lake. Run down the pier and just jump. If you wait, you might become afraid of the shock of cold water and never get refreshed to do it again and again. It might never happen. 

I quickly stepped up to Marie and hugged her for all we were worth. The first hug in over 5 years. She hugged me back and melted into my arms. I think that we both quietly sobbed. The last three hours of understanding that we could have lost one another again was more than we could handle. I knew that the last 5 years I did not want to repeat.

We got into the house and a couple of cold ones were forced into our hands along with a large brat in a small bun. That was rough. We were famished and thirsty and tired. And lonely too. A week in a canoe with the water, wild life and no electrical gadgets slows down your life. The background noise of life starts to drop off and you even get to hear what's going on inside of you. I felt like I returned from a pilgrimage.

It took about 15 minutes to finish the beer and the brat when Terry whisked Bill off to the shower. I yelled out that scotch bright pads with comet will do wonders. He didn't hear me, but Terry replied something about steel wool, sandpaper and paint strippers. Then it was just Marie and me. We had some small talk when I asked her to me a favor.

"Your father left his spare reading glasses at the house. I found them as I was going out the door to meet Bill for the trip. Can you send him an email to tell him I found them? I don't have their phone number or email address. Just log on to your account and sent it, will you?"

"That's easy. Why don't you log on in, you know it Jim. I never changed my password."

"What do you mean, you never changed your password?"

"I never changed it from that day. You snail mailed it to me a week later, I never changed it."

"Marie, what are you talking about?"

"It's still I_am_1_Real_WhorE."

I was pissed. "God damn it woman, what the hell's wrong with you? Why didn't you change it right away? It's been over 5 years, you've been married and divorced. Life goes on. Why?"

"Part of it was laziness, part was me reminding myself of what I had become, and had to overcome. Another part was security, no one would ever think of me using it. You remember what it was before? I_am_1_QueeN?"

I nodded yes as she continued. "I was a princess growing up. Great self esteem, no reality to it. I'm no longer a princess, I'm a washed up whore. Keeps me from feeling entitled."

"Is that all you are? Just a washed up whore?" She nodded yes. "Give me a fucking break. By your own words, you pulled Terry away from destroying her marriage before it even began. You tried your best to save your marriage with someone who wouldn't address his illness with medication. You volunter as a nurse every two weeks at the homeless shelter. You're financially stable and have paid off all your student loans. And I know that there's a lot more. Give me a fucking break." I was pissed.

I logged into her gmail account and then hit change password. After typing in the old password, I stood up and motioned for her to sit. She wasn't going to budge. She shook her head no. Now I'm really pissed. 

I grabbed her by the shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. "WE ARE MOVING FORWARD TOGETHER. WE ARE GOING TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY WITH OURSELVES AND ONE ANOTHER. IT STARTS WITH CHANGING THAT UNHEALTHY PASSWORD. NOW."

Tears were forming in her eyes. In a soft voice she said, "You said we."

"Damn right I said WE. I think that it will be a WE until either of us decides it will not be a WE. And if that happens WE will talk about it so neither of us will be blindsided. WE will be healthy with one another. Now sit YOUR ass down there so WE can move on to all the other things WE need to talk about."

She looked at me with hope and fear in her eyes. I reached over and hugged her. A week without a real shower, lake mud still on my clothes, eau-de-bug-spray as cologne and I hugged her, and she hugged me back. This is running and jumping off the dock into the water. 

"You're sure about this Jim? Are you sure?"

"Sure that I want to do this or sure that it's going to work?" I paused. "Yes and no, and I'll take my chances with Marie. Gail is no longer here. 

"The old Jim isn't here either. Are YOU willing to take a chance with me? I don't want to continue dancing around things with you. You willing?"

"What if it doesn't work out? What if..."

"What if? What if? What if? We both have a maturity now, we've both got the desire to do this. I had a marriage that didn't work out. We worked on it until we both realized that it wasn't going to work out. 

"That could happen to us, or not. We get to decide. Are you in or do you want to think about it? We go at the pace we need to go. We make the decisions together."

She pulled my head down to hers and kissed my mouth and her arms came over my back, capturing me. She held me for what seemed like hours, but it could only have been minutes. When we broke, I had to joke with her. "So I take it that that was a yes?" and she hit me in the upper arm, and hurt her hand. Over 100 paddling miles a canoe and portaging 80 lbs of canoe and more gear will build up your arms pretty good.

"Look Marie, I need more than a shower. Let's put the rest of this off till tomorrow. I need a shower and a good night rest. You do too. It'll be Sunday and we can get together in the afternoon. I know you go to 11 AM mass, and I want nothing to stand in the way of that."

"How about we go to your house and I'll help scrub you down. There is no way you'll be able to do all that and get totally clean. I've waited a long time for this. 

"You can come back here for your camping equipment tomorrow. Let's start this off right."

She told me to get into her car, and keep the doors open till she could start the car and open the windows. I heard her knocking on the bathroom door while I was leaving. She met me at the car and she was chuckling.

"Ok, what's up?"

All I'm going to say is that there was some oh yesssing and heavy breathing going on. I needed to disturb them a little, but I don't think they minded us going. I saw their robes on their bed. Somebody was going to have to make a dash for it. I was there for the last day. She didn't bring the towels up from the laundry yet. I put them on the floor outside the bath."

It was a ten minute drive to my house. She pulled into the driveway and I fumbled for my key. Going camping, I only brought a spare house key, and I had sewn it in my little spare pocket in my 'clean and dry driving home' jeans. 

I opened the door and knew that I needed to open the windows. It was more than stuffy. The week of warm weather did it. We looked at each other but Marie spoke first. "Go to the bathroom and start drawing a bath. I'll take care of things out here."

"Wait a minute. This is my house and..."

"And you are in need of a serious bath. Your hair was wonderful from the rain, but the rest of you..."

"How about I start with a quick shower to settle the dust first? Then I'll do the bath."

"Deal. Leave your clothes outside the door. I'll take them to the basement and soak them. They smell like..."

"Ok ok ok ok. We did race home as soon as we could."

"I know you guys did." She paused and smiled, "Get thee to the shower knave." Then she patted my bottom as I went down the hall. 

I've only been wearing these clothes for about 8 hours, and they stank, really bad. I dropped them out the door then started shaving. A week worth of growth isn't good enough. It would need to be two or three before it would look good. When I finished, I ran the shower and stepped in. 

Warm clean water and lots of soap. I grabbed a washcloth and did a good once over. While I had the water rinse off the soap from my face, I felt a hand on my back. I didn't move, just enjoyed her touch. 

Her arms wrapped around me and then I felt her body spooning into mine. This is not what I was afraid of, it was all the other stuff. That other stuff will wait. This can bond us together if it is part of everything else.

She disengaged and grabbed the wash cloth. Still at my back side, she soaped it up and started at my neck, scrubbing the built up grime away. Then it was my shoulders and the back of my arms, slowly moving down my back. I'm sure I looked like a polka dotted lobster, pink from the scrubbing and the dark red from the mosquito and dime-sized deer fly bites.

She got to my ass and carefully only worked the outside. Neither of us had yet said a word. But she then slipped her hand between my legs and gently pushed them apart and the wash cloth cleaned my neither regions.

She got down on her knees and began the back of my legs ending at my feet. Lifting each foot, everything, including each toe was washed. In all the time we were together before, we never did anything like this. This was not erotic, this was scrubbing, getting me clean. This was... different?

She turned me around and continued on my legs then hips. She quickly washed my soft cock and moved on to my chest. She stood up again and scrubbed my neck and face. Something was wrong, something was amiss with her, with us.

We were lovers those years ago. Damaged? Is she that damaged from what we did to one another? Is it here now? I pulled her close to me. "Marie, what's the matter? What's wrong? Is this too soon?"

She looked at me with pain in her eyes. Then she started crying. I held her close as the water washed over us. 

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, drying her and wrapping it around her as she continued to cry. I got another and tousled her hair and led her to the bedroom. "We going here to talk and rest. Please sit down while I dry off."

She started to cry less and I dried myself quickly. Then I went into my dresser and got an oversized t-shirt for her and another one for me with a pair of boxers, my normal sleep attire. Then I sat next to her and put my arm around her. I rocked her slightly and said nothing. It was 4 in the morning and we were both exhausted.

She leaned into my arms and quietly rested. Then I suggested that we sleep and I pulled down the covers for her and tucked her in. I got on the other side and turned off the light. She snuggled to me and we both dropped off in minutes.

Morning came very soon for me, if you call 10:30 soon. I woke and saw her sleeping next to me. It's been 5 years. Marriages, divorces, upheavals...life. And we are back here, trying again. I would not wake her. The emotions from yesterday drained both of us. I will not push making love to her, that will come on its own accord. This is starting over, the long haul. 

She started to stir and began to stretch, and then fell back asleep. Watching her again, feeling her newness once more. Breathing in her scent. It hurt so much so long ago. Now older, wiser, more scars, more maturity to handle the scars and the bumps and bruises of being with another. 

Eyes wide open this time, eyes wide open.

It took another half hour for Marie to wake up. She stretched and hit me slightly. She awoke with a start. She looked around and didn't see anything familiar then she felt me and jumped again. 

"It's ok Marie, it's ok. You're safe now."

Hearing my voice, it took a couple of seconds to remember the previous day. She relaxed and closed her eyes while she turned and spooned into me. I placed my arm around her and we both fell back asleep for another half hour.

She woke up before me and when I woke, I saw her looking at me. "Good morning Jim." Then she planted a kiss on my lips. Her face was pensive, still unsure, still on edge. Change doesn't come easy for me either. I had a week to work things out internally. She didn't have that luxury.

"Good morning Marie. How's the new life so far?" I paused. She wasn't ready for this last night, and not now either. "Looks like we're going to have a bit of discussion this morning. So how about breakfast? I'll make the coffee?" I rose to get out of bed. She pulled me back down.

"I know what you are doing, and I'm grateful to you for that. But stay here with me a little while." She moved slightly away from me, but sat up to see me easier. "You shocked the hell out of me last night, I wasn't ready for that. You're right. We've been dancing around each other. I wasn't going to do anything to make you go away, but I'm still frightened."

"Marie, I've had a week to mull this over. Whatever we do, we do it together. Nobody can race ahead and think that it's ok. It was wonderful to sleep next to you last night, but we'll talk things over before we try that or anything else again. OK? I'm here for the long haul and I think that we've got a bunch of things to work out and build on first."

She leaned over and kissed me, a kiss of connectedness, not one of passion. Sexual thrills are always great, but they are always so much better with the love of your life. We have to work on that love part.

Without saying a word, we both rose from the bed. I started looking for a robe for her, but she immediately hit the bathroom. I found an older summer robe I had and placed it on the bathroom door handle as I went to the kitchen.

I started setting up for coffee and looked into the fridge for something for breakfast. Then I remembered, I emptied the fridge before my trip. Coffee and then brunch out? That's when Marie walked into the kitchen. The robe was nowhere to be seen, or my oversized t-shirt for that matter.




24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 05



"I need to take a shower. Would you like to scrub my back in a few minutes?"

"We don't have to Marie, don't feel ..."

"It's been a long time Jim, a very long time. I think that we should give it a try. It's been a long time for both of us." Then she turned and walked away toward the bathroom, pausing at the kitchen doorway. Looking back over her shoulder, her eyes told me that she was doing what she wanted to do.

I heard her turn on the water and step into the shower. I grabbed several fresh towels and followed. 

She stood in the shower, letting the water fall over her face. She is beautiful, as beautiful as she ever was. Maybe, no definitely more so. For now she's real, and so am I.

"Are you going to join me in here or do you just want to look?" Marie turned around and was spreading her arms, inviting me in. I dropped my clothing and embraced her. The water, the warmth of our feelings, her body against mine. Not so bad so far, jumping into that lake.

I turned her around and lathered up my hands with the body wash. I started working on her back. Touching her again, the slipperiness of the soap over her skin, her hair in my face. I felt the tension in her shoulders and started massaging them. Pulling the tension from them, loosening them and her up. She always kept some tension in her body there. I remembered how tight they were before the wedding. Then I found out why. I shook my head to dump that thought.

I heard a slight moaning from her. Not a sexual moan of passion, but a moan of relief. She leaned up against the wall as I continued my work. "Oh Jim, I've missed this so much." 

"Marie, I have too." That's when I kissed her neck and reached around her with both hands, hugging her from behind. I broke away and used more body wash on a washcloth to finish her back, then I moved down to her cheeks. At first I attempt to clean her skin, but she swished her ass into my hands. And I heard a different moan. I dropped the wash cloth and cupped both cheeks, then slipped my right hand between her cheeks, brushed against her rosebud and ended at her clit. She backed in to me while my other hand reached around and cupped her left tit. She swished her ass more and leaned back into me more, her back against my chest.

My hand massaged her clit from behind while the other wrapped around her and kneaded her tit. I felt her desire. She pulled my hand away from behind her pussy and repositioned it around her, to access her pussy from the front. Then she backed into me, swishing her ass against my hardening cock. 

My mouth was on her neck, then up to her ear to nibble on her ear lobe. She used to love that. With both hands, she leaned against the shower wall, letting my hands work their magic over her. Her eyes are closed and her nipples are hard. She is taking all I give to her, do to her, into her. 

But something was wrong, I felt it. Her body said one thing, but something else was not right. I decided to not push anything, not make any drastic changes, but to pay attention. 

Her body tone changed slightly again, then look on her face was now different. There was a look of discomfort. I slowed then stopped completely. I pulled her from the wall and turned her around to hold her. My arms wrapped around her and only held her while the water cascaded over us. That's when I felt a sob from her.

We embraced, my love was in pain. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel for her, replaying what happened early this morning.

She cried on my shoulder as I bundled her with a towel and took her back to the bedroom, an emotional mess. More that we could handle now, much more.



24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 06



"It has gotten better for us in the last couple of weeks Genevieve. These counseling sessions have made a big difference. As you know, we've been doing the homework you assigned. Both Jim and I have calmed down quite a bit and it's feeling so much better."

"That's right. Marie's been wonderful. I think that she's finally feeling that I'm here for real. And that I'm starting to see her other side too. She's starting to feel free to be who she is again. Me too. Pulling back and having us start courting again instead of trying to pick up where we left off before was a great thing to do. We both weren't ready." 

"What have you two been dealing with this week? Who wants to go first? Is it your turn Jim?"

The counseling session continued for the next 35 minutes. Reconnecting after 5 years apart after a horrendous break up was not going to be easy. But we were trying.

That first time she initiated making love, it wasn't working on her side and we needed to stop. She later offered to take care of me, but by that time, that was no longer important. 

After we stopped, we talked later that afternoon and I found out that she's had a problem in bed for years. She had a difficult time enjoying sex with her partners and definitely with her husband. She hoped that making love with me after I came back would 'put all that to bed', but it didn't. 

Months after she married, she said that she was starting to have trouble being aroused by him. She spent tremendous energy pretending in order to make sure that that he was satisfied. Her goal was to make the marriage last, no matter what the cost. She couldn't handle another failure. Part of her wanting and not wanting to get back together, was to see if this was going to be a continuing problem. That first time in the shower with me after the canoe trip, she imploded from fear. 

The next morning she gave it the ol' college try, and it still didn't work.

This session flew by quickly and Genevieve started to wrap up. "When we started, we talked about working on things outside of these sessions. I think that you've both said that it's been a good thing. The last couple of assignments concentrated on slowing both of you down, taking a step back, giving each other room to get comfortable." We both nodded. We didn't try to make love again, but we did progress to a more natural holding of one another. I never realized how much non-sexual touch means to a relationship.

Genevieve continued, "This week's assignment will be quite a bit harder. For each of you, figure out what you personally feel are missing now. I'm not talking about making love, but the emotional things that aren't there or not quite right. And as I've said before, take it easy on yourselves and go slow. You both have lots of things to work out and it all won't be done in a day." 

After our counseling sessions, Marie and I would head for a quiet place to talk about what the session was about. The time we were together 5 years ago, we couldn't see that we were going to be having trouble. We actually were pretty shitty communicators. She expected me to read her mind. I thought that when she did something that really pissed me off, I'd withdraw till she 'got it'. As I said, we have less of a problem with being pretty shitty communicators, just less. 

In our individual counseling sessions in the past 5 years, both of us touched on this problem one way or another. And now that we were trying to start again, we both knew we had work to do. Communication was even more important now with the emotions of your partner involved. We also learned to cut each other some slack.

We walked outside and saw the rain clouds and felt the individual drops of an oncoming rain. We had planned to sit at a neighborhood bar that had outdoor seating. "Jim?" I turned around to look at her, "I've got an idea. I've been to your place a couple of times. How about you going to mine? We could sit out of this approaching rain and we'd have quiet. My one loud neighbor is on vacation this week. It's been 4 months and you still haven't seen my apartment."

"Sounds good to me, I'll give you a 5 minute head start to let you clean the place up before I arrive." I immediately started chuckling. There was only one time I saw her have a mess, and that was that day over 5 years ago. I put that out of my mind and quickly added, "I'll be right behind you, let's go."

It took us over 10 minutes to get to our cars and get there. It's a 1920's vintage building, very well maintained in a neighborhood that is on the verge of getting trendy. That means that I'll have some trouble finding parking on the street. She had a parking space in back.

I wasn't without luck and there was a spot about 4 doors down and I only got a little soaked in the downpour. I got to the lobby door and she buzzed me in. She was dry as anything, but an umbrella was drying on the wet shoe mat.

"Jim, I know you keep an umbrella in the car, why didn't you use it?"

I looked at her. Some things she'll never understand. So I decided to be patient and completely explain it to her in great detail. "I'm a guy." I headed toward the bathroom to towel dry my hair and comb it. 

She called back, "Are all guys like this?"

I was finished and walked into her tiny living room. "No, some care even less." She just shook her head. I'm sure she thought something about the book Mars and Venus. "What can I get you to drink Jim?"

"Do you have any sipping whiskey?"

"I'm my father's daughter and he does visit occasionally, except when he's spending the night at your place."

"Would you join me in some?" 

She nodded and asked "Neat?" 

"Yes please." She knew that I didn't take ice. Can't taste the flavor of things when they're very cold. "This is a very nice small place you have here."

"The rents been OK and I don't have any visitors, so I don't have to worry about entertaining. I usually end up going out to Terry's house or we hit the spots for music and a beer. By the way, will you be there Sunday? They were going to grill. It was only going to be the four of us."

"I wasn't sure, but if you're there, then I'll be there for sure."

At this point she became quiet and was a bit pensive as she was pouring the drinks. She was a little generous to us both. The look on her face was deliberate and I knew what that look meant. She passed me my drink and I took a sip. She put hers down. "I was thinking about the homework that we have this week. I know my answer now." 

"That's funny Marie, so do I. Who wants to go first?" She nodded to me to begin. I started with another sip of whiskey. I thought about it for a second then I nodded to her, "No, can you go first?"

"Jim, I've been struggling with this for a long time." She hung her head in sorrow. "I fucked up royally 5 years ago. I've owned what I did, I've tried to become the best person I could. I still walk around like I have a big red letter A on me, like in the book. You know that book on about the adulteress in the colonial era." I knew what she was talking about, the Scarlet Letter by Hawthorne. High school required reading. I've always wondered why high school students had to read that book. Now I know.

"I can't shake it. No matter how I try, it won't go away." She was quiet and she took a big sip of her drink. Then she took another. For the size of her frame, it was a good thing she wasn't driving tonight. 

"Wait a minute Marie. You have to grow from that. We were 20 years old then. We were pretty immature. Since then you've done so much, become so much. You can't let this stop you. You survived your marriage. Even the first time I met again, you said you did the right things for your marriage, but it didn't work out. You can't do this to you. You're very important, you're so much better than that to beat yourself down."

I suddenly stopped talking. I heard a click. It didn't come from outside of me. It was from the inside. I understood what she was missing in a flash of understanding. It was not her, it was me. I finally realized my part of what was wrong and I stated to run toward the end of the dock. The water was going to immediately feel cold, but we were going to be clean and refreshed after the shock.

"Your problem isn't with you." I moved closer to her and held her hand. "Once again, you've done everything right. You've apologized to me, multiple times. This idiot never told you that he accepted your apology. Has he?" She shook her head no, and the tears were starting to roll down her cheeks.

"I've never said that I forgave you. I've tried to show it, but I never said it, have I?" I reached over to hug, and she joined with me. So many missing pieces, this was one of the biggest. Showing things are sometimes not enough, saying them with all your heart to your love is so much better.

"I seen all the goodness of Gail Marie these past months. Indeed, it is you Gail Marie that I never told that you have fully made amends in life. I have not been man enough to tell you that I accepted your apology, that I forgave you for what happened so long ago, and I appreciate you for the person you are.

"I'll admit that it's been difficult for me to forgive. It keeps on popping up at the wrong times. I fight it and most of the time I win. 

"But you, you have done so much better that I ever could. You've raised yourself way above me, you're my shining angel of courage. The woman who puts me to shame for her total humanity. I am in awe of what you have become, who you are now.

She looked at me in disbelief. I guess that there was a bunch more things that I've never told her.

"I've tried real hard, honest I have. But I know that this is where I've been at. Part of me, deep down is still hurt. It keeps popping up at the worst times and I don't know what else I can do about it. I've been trying to give it time, and it's getting better, much better. The more time we spend with one another and the more we work things out is helping so much.

"I knew what happened so long ago will no longer matter real soon. Now I see that it has been stopping you from healing. It has been stopping me from healing. We're getting closer together every day."

Tears were running down our cheeks. Then she pulled back and smiled. Not a happy smile, but a bittersweet one. "I know that, I've known you've forgiven me. Now that I hear it, it is so sweet."

She took a sip of her whiskey, then waited, then immediately downed the rest. I was sitting very near the bottle and she shook her glass to ask for a refill. That was not like her at all. I poured her some more, then added two fingers to mine. I'll worry about driving home later, even if it means a call to Bill for a lift, and I need to get him out of bed. That's what friends are for. Terry should understand, I hope.

"But this is where I'm stuck Jim. I can't forgive myself." The tears really started pouring out of her. I reached over and hugged her and held her while she let it out.

We sat there holding each other for what seemed like hours. I felt her body mold against mine, I felt the love in her heart, the sorrow in her being. I was the one that broke the silence. It was back to the sauna and the lake. Do what you need to do, just do it.

I stood up in front of her and commanded her attentions with my eyes. In a loud voice I said, "Gail Marie." She winced at her name and my loudness. "Over 5 years ago you said that cheating was only sex, it didn't mean anything. We parted in a tornado. 

"Please accept my apology for not telling you that I have totally accepted your apology, your remorse, your desire to be the best person that you can be. 

"Your journey was so much more difficult than mine. You are one amazing woman. Please forgive me for not telling you what I really feel. I believe in you." I grabbed my sipping whiskey and downed it immediately. "We need to move beyond this. We have a future together, you are my partner in life. I love you with all my soul."

I held her head in my hands while I looked into her eyes. I think that I may have finally done something right. She leaned over and kissed my lips. I pulled her up, standing up, holding on to me. We clasped each other and swayed back and forth. Part of that was the drink, part of it was holding on to one another. I think that we felt completeness. Her crying stopped, one of her hands caressed my face. A tension left our bodies.

Then my hands reached lower and I cupped both of her cheeks, pressing her body against mine. It was not really sexual, it was us two physically melding into one. I felt her warmth. We were now joined at the hip, in an ever tightening pull. She also pressed into me. We kissed. 

It may have started as a chase kiss, but it quickly moved to a hungry kiss for both of us. The whiskey may have helped, but it only liberated what we both wanted.

She started to pull away, but I held her. "No Jim, it's not going to work. It's going to end badly again. I can't..."

"If it doesn't work, we've only lost the night and we will keep trying another day until it's good for us. We've been in love with each other for a long time Gail Marie. We honestly trust one another. It's time we showed it to each other in all ways." I paused and looked into her eyes. Her eyes softened and she nodded to me, then kissed me deeply, there was little hesitation for either of us. "Whatever happens, whatever we feel, be real with it and own it and we both will respect the other's boundaries."

I then playfully slapped the side of her ass, "Or lack thereof". I pulled her mouth to mine and she wacked my hip even harder. I could feel her chuckling in the kiss, and her grinding into my cock. Then her hands caressed my back, getting under my shirt and feeling my sides, holding my sides. Sharing our kiss, my hands roamed over her hips, pulling her ass into me, melding us into one.

In a flash, she tickled me and I jumped a foot off the floor. She giggled and darted toward the bedroom. The sound of that giggle, it was Gail Marie's carefree giggle, her happy giggle, her free giggle, her silly giggle. A giggle that couldn't be faked. Nothing heavy, all fun, a joy to hear because it told me we were home again, together.

I walked to her bedroom and waited at the door. She was smiling at me as I watched her unbutton her blouse. No tenseness, no worry, no concern in her face, I was in heaven. Even if the evening didn't end right, we got to a different place, a freer place. 

I moved to her and she held her arms out to receive me, or so I thought. It was actually to begin unbuttoning my shirt. I got the message and my hands started peeling her blouse off her shoulders. Our lips never stopped touching. 

My hands went behind her and unclasped her bra while her hands unbuckled my belt. Her mouth was on fire as it left mine and travelled to my neck. 

My hands went from outside of her skirt to under her skirt. I was gripping her cheeks. She giggled again and I knew all was right. Then I slipped my hands into her panties and grabbed her cheeks directly, massaging them, gripping them, feeling them, kneading them. Needing them too. She giggled again. This is so Gail Marie, no longer Marie, no longer Gail. She started to grind into me. The lake water was fine now.

I shed my undershirt quickly and knelt down in front of her. I took off each of her sandals as my hands travelled further up inside her skirt. I was breathing in her scent as I hooked my fingers in the band of her panties.

She was stroking my hair as my face was buried on the outside of her skirt. Inhaling her scent, I slowly started pulling her panties down while I looked up at her face. Her eyes were closed and there was a smile on her face. Not like before, no, not like before.

I moved her panties down over her ass, and I let my hands roam on her cheeks and I traced her landing strip. She smiled more, and then I heard a gasp as I slid a finger along her slit. She was wet this time, and answered me with a "Ohhh yessss'.

I pulled her panties to the floor and then gently pushed her to sit on the bed, spreading her legs. I dove under her skirt. Her scent was enticing, her hands pulled the skirt away so she could see me and stroke my hair. My mouth started kissing and licking the inside of her thighs. That's when I started hearing her talk to me and moan.

"Oh have I missed this, I have so missed your mouth on me. And for tonight, that will have to be the only thing in me. Jim, I'm not on the pill."

Without moving my face away from her, or my tongue from her lower lips, I reached around and pulled out my wallet from my front pocket. I passed it to her. She opened it and laughed at the two trojans I had.

"You really been prepared for me, haven't..." and that's when I slipped a finger up her pussy while my thumb attacked her clit as I continued pleasuring her with my mouth. "OOOOO yessssss don't stop don't stop don't stop don't stop". Her body started racking and her legs imprisoned by head and hand. She was coming, my love was coming for me, for her, for us. Not a sexual conquest, but a milestone for us.

I stopped and waited for her to recover, and I had to wait long. She finally released me. I moved up on the bed and I collapsed at her side. I held her shoulder, stroked her forehead and cheek, and smiled at what we did together.

She finally caught her breath and looked at me. There were tears in her eyes, not sad, but happy ones. "I feel like I got out of jail Jim, you've released me."

She rolled on her side to face me directly. "There is something that I haven't told you. I've been afraid to say it. I love you too Jim, with all my heart." At that she reached over and kissed me and held me. 

"I knew what you did Jim. You were here to be with me, to try again. Once we refound each other, we couldn't or wouldn't get away. I've been so afraid that you'd disappear again. I know that you won't now. It is so wonderful for me to say to you out loud, I love you."

"And to hear it from you Gail Marie, even though I knew it, heavenly. Your love that I don't doubt."

"There's something I need to do right now. I've been dreaming of it for 4 months and wishing for it for 5 years." She got on her knees and began to open my pants and pull them off. Slipping her hands under my briefs, she yanked then down and stroked my cock. 

"I warn you now that it's been a long time and I'm not going to last." She looked up at me with compassion and lust in her eyes. 

"Jim, it's been nearly 2 years since somebody besides my own hand made me come. And you did it for me tonight. I want to be your first right now. I know that I wasn't that much into sucking you before, but this first one is mine. I hope you can recover soon, because those trojans need to give us our second one for the night."

She was right, it was a not common for Gail to get oral with me. I loved getting and giving oral sex, she was not into giving it so much. That's the thing about oral, it's completely raw sex. An old cab driver told me once, the reason that he loved oral sex was that you couldn't knock anybody up with spit. I'm not a father, yet. I want that to happen on my terms, not my dick thinking for me.

Gail Marie took off her bra, the rest of her clothing and helped me with mine. She got between my legs and put her face so near my cock that I felt her breath on it. Looking into my eyes, she held my cock in one of her hands and licked it like a popsicle. Stroking it with her other hand at the same time, she slowly lowered her mouth on my helmet. Slowly using her tongue to caress the sensitive underside, I was in heaven. 

"Oh my god, I'm going to cum right away if you keep this up for another minute. I've dreamed of this and being in a loving bed with you. Grab some tissues, I'm going to need some."

She pulled her mouth off of me but kept jacking me with her hand. "Lover, do you think that I need anything to catch you with? Especially after you ate me? We're here together Jim. I'm going to suck you dry and swallow you. Right now." She smiled at me and then added, "Just don't get used to me swallowing it though." And she chuckled, then I did too. She put her mouth back on my cock and her other hand moved past my balls toward my ass. That's all it took and I erupted into her mouth, my lover's mouth.




24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 06



She swallowed me with tremendous love and lust in her eyes. Her eyes never left mine. At each shot of cum, she would swallow, sometimes with a look of surprise. I was forceful. If I would have been lying on my back, I'd probably hit my forehead. As I slowed down, she started to clean me up. As I relaxed, she came to my face and kissed me. We shared both of our tastes. We were going to be equals in our relationship, I wanted that.

After kissing me she laid her head upon my chest and held me tight. "Was that good Jim?" I grunted a yes. "How long till you recover? I want to ride you, I want you to take me from behind, I want to be fucked on my back, I want..."

"Gail Marie, I want those things too. But not all tonight." I paused, "I want to make wonderful slow love to you next. OK?"

A beaming smile radiated from her face, "That would be wonderful." Her fingers started playfully trace circles on my chest, drawing up to my mouth and back. Not rushed but being with one another. Her hand circled my cock, played with my balls, she sucked my nipples. All trying to raise the dead. I felt a stirring of life down there. She moved her head down to my cock and started to lick it slowly. 

I flipped around into a 69 and dove between her legs. "You remembered Jim, you remembered." This was something we rarely did before our 'second-go-arounds', but we did do it. She loved getting oral as much as she loved to get fucked, and this was a way to get both. 

I love to have her clit in my lips, her juices dripping down my chin, feeling her whole body from her sex. And then to feel her mouth on my cock? I could do this for hours. I've missed this, few of my other partners liked doing this so much, and when Charlene and I were trying to work things out, it all declined. It was so ...

Suddenly something inside of me started to scream. 'SHAKE IT OFF JIM. SHAKE IT OFF GOD DAMN IT. YOU HAVE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IN YOUR ARMS, IN YOUR MOUTH. BE HERE. NOW.'

Shocked, I drove my tongue into Gail Marie, and my fingers followed caressing her rosebud that was slick from her. I felt an 'Oohhhhhh yesssss' on my hardening cock. Be here, be now. YESSSSS.

I felt a finger trace my balls and head a little lower when I realized that it was time. I pulled my mouth and fingers out of her. I looked down at her and her mouth was still on me. Sucking a cock with a smile on her face, those bright blue eyes shining. I pulled her up to me and we kissed. We used to have a little bit of issue with sharing our own fluids, but no more I think. Something about maturity.

She reached over and picked up one of the trojans and started to hand it to me. "No Gail Marie, I want to see you do it." Looking at me with a sexy smile on her face, she ripped the package open and pulled it out. She grabbed my cock and rolled it down. This would have been so unbelievable months ago, and now it's so natural.

She rested on her back and spread her legs, caressing her pussy for me to see, to tease me. She enjoyed that, and enjoyed me seeing her pleasure herself. Now she has a mischievous smile on her face.

Her fingers started spreading her lips and she began to ohhh and ahhhh as she stroked herself. She's performing for me. We both like it.

"Like what you see? Do you like to see your lover pleasure herself for you? Like to see me get so hot that I'm going to cum as soon as you put your cock into me?"

I took that as a yes and I pulled her hands away, gently slapping them. Rolling her to the middle of the bed, I knelt between her legs and leaned over her. Once our eyes met, there was no more playing. The smile on her face was one of serenity, of love regained.

I leaned over her and gently kissed her lips and she gently pulled me down on her. Her hand found my cock and she gently led it to her pussy. I entered her and her legs wrapped around me. 

It was slow, unhurried, an honest love making. A much delayed rejoining of two souls that found each other again. Trying to do it right this time.

"Jim, could you get my phone? I'm still drying off and Terry was going to give me a call if there was something they were going to need. I'll finish drying off in a minute."

"No problem." I walked into the living room and picked up Gail Marie's phone, looking at the caller name. "Hi Terry, Gail's in the shower, what should we pick up?"

"Jim? It's 7:00 in the morning. What are you..."

"I already had my shower and I'm washing the breakfast dishes. You didn't think I would be the one cooking? You know me better than that. So, what do we need to pick up?"

By this time, Gail Marie had walked into her living room wrapped in a towel and I passed her the phone. "Hi Terry, what should we pick up?" They started talking and I headed back to her kitchen to finish the dishes. I've always smiled when I did dishes for any of my partners. Doing dishes, vacuuming, laundry, dusting, grocery shopping and food shopping or any of the other things that a household needs, is all important. It's more, it's actually foreplay. I didn't think that way, they do, so I do. Now I do a good share of dishes, vacuuming, laundry, dusting and whatever. Lots of guys never figured it out.

Gail Marie came back into the kitchen about 15 minutes later. I was reading the Sunday paper she has delivered and was working on another cup of coffee. "Did she need us to buy out the store? You were on the phone a long time."

"No silly, I haven't spoken to her this week. You answering my phone at this hour called for heavy duty talking. Face it Jim, it's been a great week for us." At that she leaned down to me and kissed me sensuously. Then she dropped her towel by 'accident'. I got the hint.

"We shouldn't let an opportunity like this go to waste, should we Jim?" I placed my arm around her waist and pulled her to sit on my lap. Her face met mine and we kissed again. 

"If I remember correctly young lady, last Wednesday you gave me a list of things that you wanted to do and...What do we have outstanding? Or do we just need some more practice?" My hand was caressing her left breast while her hands were taking the robe off my shoulders.

"I don't think I have a list anymore. It was just a long time for me. And you too if I remember correctly." With that I parted her legs with my hand. That's when she giggled. I so love to hear her giggle while making love. I slipped my hand between her lips and found her already wet.

"So what were you two talking about on the phone?"

"Oh, I had to tell her about us opening up to one another after the counseling session. Then she started asking about what happened after that, and one thing led to another and..." 

"Sounds like you both were getting hot about what we've been doing? Did you give her a blow-by-blow?"

"Oh, yes, and a suck-by-suck, a lick by lick, a rub-by-rub and a fuck-by-fuck too." She was giggling like mad now. She had turned around and straddled my lap like a lap dancer, opening my robe. "Jim, you have no idea what this week as been like for me. It was so long that I felt empty and not wanted. And unlovable. 

"Then this week, everything. You, me, love and sex again. Love making again with lots of sex whenever I ask for it." She moved her face closer to mine while making sure that her pussy was gliding along my cock. Then she sat upright and she nestled her tits in my face. She held my head to them while I sucked her left nipple and my hand mauled the other one.

I kept hearing a bit of ooo and ahhhing when she repositioned herself. She reached down and slid me into her, and I immediately picked her up to take me out. "You've only been on the pill for two days. Let's not push our luck." She responded with a little pout, but I had a better answer.

I stood up and continued lifting her in my arms and turned her around to the kitchen table. Then I bent her over the table, leaving her beautiful naked ass pointed directly at me. I put my hand between her legs. I slowly caressed her from her landing strip to her rosebud. There I stopped. This was one of the things that we hadn't done yet this week. 

"Are you ready to complete the list? This one was on mine." She was a little confused, and when she realized where I was going, a little worried. "I'll go slow and you can stop things at any time." She still had a worried look on her face.

"I..I..I've done this when I was married. It hurt. I know that it hurt because he wasn't slow." She looked back at me and grabbed my hand. "I know that you won't hurt me, will you?"

I reached around her and gave her a warm hug. "Not only will I go slow and not hurt you, by the time we're finished, you're going to be humping me back for more. And I'm going to finger fuck you too. You won't have any time to be hurting." She relaxed slightly while I circled her rosebud with my dirty hand.

The butter was still on the table and I sliced cut off a couple of pats. "Bet you never thought that your ass would be good enough to eat? Did you?" I got a well-deserved groan out of her for that one. I warmed a pat of butter in my hand and slid it onto her rosebud. I used her own heat to soften it as I slowly massaged it back and forth with my right hand. My left hand was going to be the clean one. No mixing allowed. Nobody should get an infection from making love. That happened once with me by mistake. Never again.

I was in no hurry as I nibbled her neck and massaged her left tit with my clean hand. It only took a minute for her to relax to the point where she started swishing her ass back and forth. Learning the non-verbal communication from your partner is wonderful.

"So this is starting to feel a little bit better is it?" That's when I barely slipped the tip of my finger in her, and back out again quickly. She was startled at first, but the fifth time, she met my thrust. "You know I love your ass, I want to do wonderful things to your ass." 

I withdrew and picked up another pat of butter and returned to her rosebud. My clean hand reached further around and played with her other tit, then my clean finger went in her mouth as my dirty one went into then further into her ass.

What a feeling for me, both of my fingers were in her, at different ends. Feeling her warmth, her softness. The feel of her tongue, the tightness of her ass. That's when I heard and felt some moaning from her. I pistoned both fingers in her in unison. I could hear her breathing now. 

Her eyes were closed and she was feeling all I was doing for her, to her, with her. She started to try to reach out for me, but I told her to relax and get lost in our experience. 

I brought a second finger to her ass, slowly entering her. She tensed, and I waited until she told me to go ahead. My clean hand flicked her clit and I sucked on her earlobe while we waited. 

Now with two fingers in her ass, I began to slowly piston in her. I knew it was good when she started to make noises for me. Then I heard, "Oh yes, this is so much better, yes so much better...keep playing with my pussy. oh yessssss. This is the best ass fucking I've ever had lover, the best." 

"And my cock isn't in you yet. I see some toys in our future. I'll love fucking your pussy with a vibrator up your ass. You get to feel it and I get to feel it." I slowly pumped my fingers into her and felt her ring loosen up.

"You're ready for my cock now? Ready for my nice and hard cock?" Both my hands were pumping her, she was humping them both, getting a different hand on each back and forth. Her breathing got harder. She was ready and I moved between her legs.

Grabbing another pat of butter, I greased my cock. Then I put my cock at her rosebud. I slowly pulled my fingers out and touched her ass with my greased rod. "I'm going to go slow. You back into me at your pace. I'll wait." Giving control to your partner makes this so much better for them. They also can't blame you if it hurts too much.

Gail Marie kept her eyes closed and backed into my cock. I had loosened her up, but the first time with a partner is always unknown. She was arching her back, shoving her ass into my cock. I felt the pressure and her ring slowly expand again. In a minute, I felt me slide in, and I waited. She was holding her breath, and my clean hand was starting to work on her clit again. She relaxed a little, but stayed still. 

She exhaled a few times, but remained motionless. "Do you want me to pull out? I don't want to..."

"NO. Just wait. This is the best it ever has been and I'm getting used to it. Just wait, the low pain has moved to discomfort." She exhaled and in the smallest way, stated rocking on me. "This is one of the few times I wished I had a smaller dicked lover," and she laughed.

Then I exhaled as her rocking became noticeable. "Ohhh yesss, this is feeling better." She grabbed my clean hand and put it back in her pussy. "Are you forgetting something buddy?"

I chuckled. It was good that she was into it now. I went back to work. This is work I could do all day. "Wanted to make sure my lover was comfortable first." I started to slowly pump my cock in her ass. Going nice and slow in her tight ass was heaven. We never did this before, but I have fucked the asses of all by partners and some of my dates. "How does my cock feel in you? I hear you moan, I hear you pant. You like my cock in your ass Gail Marie? My nice cock in you?"

"Oh you make me feel so full and slutty. This is the best it's ever been. Now start pumping me a little harder, start pumping this ass harder." She flexed her back like a cat.

"Do you like fucking my ass? Do you like putting your nice cock into my ass? ummm lover?'

"I love your tight little ass, I love the way you meet my thrusts, I love getting you off." Fucking my love at her kitchen table, I was going to go for broke. 

"You love it, you love being taken, tossed on the table, and rammed with my cock." I grabbed her hand with my clean one and shoved it to her pussy. "Now finger yourself while I fuck you. Tell me what you feel."

She was a bit shocked, but she did as she was told. "I have my fingers on my clit, giving me pleasure while you fuck my ass." She stopped and turned around slightly to look at me. "You love watching me play with myself, don't you." She groaned as I reached and grabbed a hanging tit with my clean hand. "Or do you just love telling me what to do for your own pleasure? To get your own kicks?"

"Which one do you like better while I fuck your ass? Doing what you are told or putting on a show for me?"

She was on the verge, and our pillow talk made her hotter. "Your cock feels so good pumping in me, my fingers feel so good. You know how to make me hotter. You know I like to perform for you, to be your whore, to be your play thing. I see it in your eyes and the hardness of your cock."

"You're not my whore, you're not my play thing Gail Marie. You're my precious lover that I make love to." I pounded her harder. "You are what I love, not some cheap whore. You're my partner, the only woman I need, the sexiest woman there is. That's who I'm fucking." I stated panting, it was getting closer.

I slapped her ass slightly, only giving her a little bit of a sting. It shocked her. "This ass is mine, all mine. Same for your cunt. It's there for me." I put my clean finger in her mouth, "Suck this lover, suck this and finger your cunt while I fuck your ass." That's when she exploded and I pulled my hand away from her mouth. Then I exploded into her. I was pushing my cock into her as far as I could, then pull back and pump her ass to shoot again into her, again and again.

All we could do was groan as we jerked from our coming, the aftershocks from coming. She collapsed on the kitchen table, and I slid to my elbows, trying not to crush her. We were both panting.

It took over 5 minutes to get up. My cock went soft and slid out. I pulled a paper napkin from the table and covered it. Would have been a good reason to wear a condom.

She leaned over and we kissed. I led her back to the bathroom and turned on the water. We needed to clean up and go to the store before the grilling at Terry and Bill's. I was going to enjoy washing every inch of her body. And feel her do the same to me.



24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 07



"Jim, I've got a problem. Do you have time now to talk with me about it quickly? I'm on my break and this isn't life or death, but it's close."

"Hold on Gail Marie, let me run into the spare conference room for a bit of privacy." It took me about a minute to find the room and thankfully it's empty. "Ok, what's up?"

"You know that I'm in the ER this week because they were short staffed, right?" 

"Go ahead."

"They brought in a hit and rum victim from the highway. Unconscious. No ID on him. The cops said that it looks like a Good Samaritan flinched his wallet." She paused, "It's Jay." It got deadly quiet.

Jay was her lover over 5 years ago. We've spoken about him and her and everything about what happened. She's said that there has been no contact at all from him since that day. Now he's back, and hurting and a John Doe? "Gail Marie, do the right thing."

"I needed to tell you about it first, and then tell the Police, the Social Worker and the admitting Department."

"Do you still have Mary's phone number? His ex. They'd be looking for somebody that had any information on his family. You have to do what is right. I understand, but do what is right and do it quick."

"I've got her number. Thank you. I'll call when I get an update."

The rest of the day put me back those years, and once again, showed me how far we have come. Gail Marie moved back in with me 3 months ago, and it's been a ride. Lots of ups and downs, but we never wavered from the trust we now have for each other. Jay 'showing up' was trust and communication front and center. Clean, clear, upfront.

A month ago, Charlene came into town and she even stayed with us for 2 days. The three of us had dinner together and Gail Marie and I found out her car broke down and needed the additional time for the repair. Her budget was tight and it was Gail Marie that quietly suggested to me that we could put her up if I wanted to extend the offer. Living in the same house for two nights was slightly different. Those two realized that they weren't competitors and warmed to each other.

Now it was Jay. He was married for about a year when my emails put an end to his life in Cincinnati. Gail Marie apologized to Mary about a year later. They both have kept in touch. It doesn't matter what Jay did before, he at least deserves our assistance now.

Gail Marie gave me a call at 11:15 and asked if we could host a visitor. Mary was driving up from Cincinnati and could use a place to stay. I agreed and Gail Marie said she'd fill me in the details when we both got home.

I was home first, so I pulled the leftovers from the fridge and microwaved two plates worth. I did make a fresh salad, waiting till Gail Marie got home to dress it with salt and pepper, balsamic vinegar and olive oil. My cooking has improved. At least I know how to make a salad and when to dress it.

As soon as she came in, Gail Marie started talking. "Jim it was unreal. The last person in the world shows up on my shift, unconscious and unidentified. To be honest, I freaked out a little, and that's why I called you right away. I would have spoken to the police and hospital anyway, but it felt better knowing you were in on it from the start."

"I have no problem with it. I think that we both are always glad to be able to help out when there is a need. But what about Mary?"

"This I'm not really sure about all the details. They aren't together, not even living in the same state. Mary is still in Cincinnati, his mother is someplace near the Twin Cities and he's near her and in Florida too. I don't understand it myself. His mother can't drive and is taking care of his child. His brother is on a cruise in Greece right now. Mary was the only one available. Her ex-mother asked and she agreed to come for Jay. I'm sure we may find out more when she arrives. She was due to leave at noon and with the traffic, she should be at the hospital about now. She'll call us before she leaves or if she needs anything."

"I have to ask you, how do you feel about all of this? Last month it was my ex and this month, it's the ex-wife of your..."

"Affair? That's the prettiest way I can put it. We could get graphic and call it what it really was." I shook my head no. "So affair it is.

"Jim, we're not the same people we were then. I finally grew up thanks to you. First 5 years ago and in these past 7 months, so much more. You've been a role model for me. So how I feel? A bit confused but feeling like we're doing the right thing all around. Between us and with Mary and even Jay. I have to hold my head up high for the rest of my life, and this is part it."

After dinner, we checked the guest bedroom and put out fresh towels for Mary, then waited. It was about 9:30 when we got the call. She had GPS on her phone and we put the light on for her. We met her at her car when she pulled in the driveway.

She looked pretty worn and I immediately grabbed her suitcase from her car and Gail Marie offered her dinner and anything else. She asked for a drink of water and something small to eat. We gave her some time to decompress at the dinner table alone. She started to look a bit rested and she joined us in the living room.

"I'd like to thank you for letting me stay here, and on such short notice. After I got the call this morning and I called everybody I could, it's been non-stop."

"So how is he doing? When I saw him in the ER this morning, I was shocked. No ID, no nothing. I didn't know what to think."

"Actually his car broke down on the 894 bypass and he walked a mile to an exit where somebody hit him. Once the police got a name and his home, he was connected to the car. They searched the area where he was discovered and his wallet was in the weeds. Nothing was missing. At first they couldn't connect him to the wallet, his son's picture was in it. They were looking for an African American."

We both must have appeared confused. Mary looked at us and smiled. "Oh, you don't know." 

"To be honest Mary, I've known nothing of Jay since that day over 5 and a half years ago when I grabbed his phone and..."

"Let me go back to that time and then to the present. It'll all make more sense. By the way, could I bother you two for a drink?"

"Mary you've come to the right place. We have all kinds of wine. We have red, white, and pink. We have box and ..."

Gail Marie barged right in "Mary please forgive Jim, he thinks that it's funny to pull this old line on everybody. We have about everything. What would you like?"

"At the risk of it being a cliché, some white wine?"

"Done, you are ok with Trader Joes wine selection?" Mary answered, "A woman after my own heart, and wine merchant." That's when Gail Marie turned to me, "Jim open the one in the fridge and bring out two wine glasses. Why don't you pour yourself some bourbon and then join us."

"DONE? And I get to do the work?" I started laughing, and then Mary saw the humor and chuckled. Gail Marie only smiled with an 'I got caught' smile. We are a couple in all ways. A good couple.

I uncorked the $6 chardonnay for them and made a Manhattan for myself and sat back down. "Here you go ladies." I put the bottle on a coaster on the coffee table and sat down. Wine helps things sometimes.

"As I was saying, that day that it all blew up was the last straw for me. Jay had been playing around and this time I couldn't deny it any longer. I'd had it with him for a while. I've never thanked you Jim for what you did. It stopped me from enabling him, denying what it was doing to me. I kicked his ass out that day.

"The funny thing, he finally stopped being a jerk after that. The divorce went smoothly and we did it with a minimum of fus while he was living in Florida. He got a sales job down there almost immediately.

"About two years after it was finalized, he showed up at my door and asked to go out to dinner. He made it clear that this was dinner on the up and up. That's when he told me what was really going on in his life, and showed me a picture of his adopted son, and his partner," she paused, "Trevnor."

"It turns out his entire life he'd been fighting who he was. He and his mother were part of a very conservative church. I know all conservative churches are not like this, but this one was a fire and brimstone on homosexuality. 

"He told me that he married me to 'cure' him. I found out that this wasn't uncommon for men and women who aren't straight. When that didn't work, he kept going after new female conquests to try to cure him again and again. When it all blew up and he was alienated from his church, he went to Florida. 

"There he found another church that was much more accepting of gays and lesbians. That's where he met Trevnor. Trevor's in the Navy and is in the mid-east right now. I contacted him about Jay and he's trying to see if he could get leave. Together, they adopted a crack baby. Trevnor is African American. Jay's mother in the Twin Cites is taking care of 5 year old Jason when Jay is on the road. He was heading back home when his car overheated on 894 west of the city.

"We'll never be lovers, but we have moved to being good friends. He's not a bad guy since he's gotten serious in life...That's why I came up here for him. His son is in special-ed, and will always have problems in life. He and Trevnor knew it going in. I feel I need to support that. Besides, I'm Jason's godmother. 

"Jay's spoken to me in the past about apologizing to you two. He's in stable condition and we'll see if he's alright after a few days. They're keeping him in a medical coma for now."

This was Gail Marie's specialty, medical stuff. Medical stuff is my professional term for it. "You have a few days for that. You do know that they sometimes can hear you, even while in the coma. I had a patient in for a week in the ICU like that. The family stayed around him the entire time. When he came out, he recounted all what he heard. He found out that his bitch of a wife loved the hell out of him but never really told or showed him. He was shocked, it helped in rebuilding their marriage. So be careful on what you say. By the way, do you want to ride with me to work? It'll save you on the parking costs." 

"Thanks a lot Gail Marie. That would be great." She turned to me. "Jim, Gail Marie said that it was OK for me to stay here for a few days? Are you good with that? I feel like I'm imposing."

Gail Marie popped on up, "Well yes you are." I was a little shocked. We had spoken about the possibly of this happening and ... "And we wouldn't have it any other way. You have important things to do and this is the least we could do to help out."

At that I looked at Mary and nodded yes. I sipped my drink, and found the bottom of my glass dry, as well as theirs. I poured another round for them and got a chaser for me.

"Mary, I had no idea what I set into play that day. It was 5 years before Gail Marie and I even talked with one another. Now 7 months later, we're back together. What has your life been like besides rescuing ex-husbands and godsons?"

"It started out learning to stand on my own two feet. I got a lot of support from my friends. They'd been worried about me for quite a while. After feeling sorry for myself, I got into what I call 'future mode'. Drop the past and run toward a future of my own making. I went back to college part time evenings and graduated with a BA and then started a masters. I'm still in that now. It doesn't leave much time for relationships, but I do go out on dates every month or two. Not finding the time or the energy for it."

"I do sometimes fall back to the anger and hurt I had." At this point she looked at Gail Marie. "When we were married and he was stepping out, I so wanted to rub his face in it and the face of the women that he was fucking around with." My partner's face went pale at this. "But I got this letter from his last transgression that changed my mind about everything. I don't know if you know this Gail Marie. You saved me from super revenge anger and wasting my life on that. You were the only one that apologized to me." She took a sip of her wine. "And you got your father to force the letter into my hand. You were truly a life saver." 

Gail Marie had a look of shock then wonderment on her face, while Mary smiled at her sweetly. "I'm just so sorry for the wrongs I had done to you Mary. When you accepted my apology those years ago, I was so grateful. It took a couple more years to meet this guy again... AND ON A BLIND DINNER DATE with our friends who had no clue about us never-the-less. Then I was able to apologize to him too." She took a sip of her drink, "I'm glad that things are better for Mary."

"Ladies, it is after 11 and wake up is at 5 AM, so may I suggest we call it a night and we can regroup tomorrow?" Since I had already taken her suitcase to the spare bedroom, all of us retired for some quiet. I don't know about 'peace and quiet' though. 

The next evening I had to work late. We were upgrading a server and it had to be done after hours. I finally got home by 9 and the two of them were way past the middle of their second bottle of wine. It was a pretty friendly atmosphere.

"Jim, Gail Marie has been a life saver. She was able to translate what they were telling me into understandable words." 

"It was that doctor from India that I've spoken about. Massively competent doctor, no communication or empathy skills at all. Exactly what Jay needs right now. Since I finally understood his accent, I asked him the questions. Then I told Mary what she needed to hear. 

"Jay is doing better. Some swelling is still there, but they are feeling so much better about it. With luck, he may be weaned off those meds by tomorrow or the day after. Then we'll be at the next step."

"I really have to thank both of you. You do know that she's real good at holding my hand and keeping my spirits up. I was lost in his accent and she came to my rescue."

Gail Marie sent me into the kitchen for a bite to eat and when I returned, I had some 'sippin' whiskey' waiting for me. Their second bottle of wine was empty, and they opened the third.

Those two were having a great time. After hanging in hospitals and not knowing what was up with Jay, they were letting their hair down and were getting downright silly. It was Friday night and Gail Marie needed to work but I was going to be off. We all stayed up till 11 again and hit the hay.

This time we were a bit more relaxed and Gail Marie and I talked quietly about the day. She would occasionally slur a word, so I knew that there was more wine than she needed. Mary's bedroom was at the other end of the house. We were quiet, but didn't have to worry about disturbing her. As I turned off the light, I leaned over to give a goodnight kiss, and felt her arm pull me closer, not letting me go.

Her hand immediately got into the boxers that I wear to bed. The alcohol and the conversation that she had Mary must have been real interesting. I pulled her nightgown over her head and my t-shirt and boxers went flying. She was on her back and I started sucking on her tits while my hand found a very wet pussy waiting for me. I immediately got an "Ohhh yesss" from her. No fore play needed. Guess I didn't need to clean up the kitchen sink today. 

Before I went any further, she slipped down and brought her face to my cock. Feeling her mouth on me was great. She was bobbing her head up and down and then pulled her mouth off, while continuing to stroke me. "Lover?" she said before she started to lick my helmet again. "Do you find Mary attractive?"

This is not a question that you ever want to be asked with your lover, especially after our history. "I guess so, but why do you ask?"

"Oh, she and I have been talking and I was just kind of wondering."

Was this a little bit of playing, was this some fantasy was this...

"We've been talking and she's not been with any one for quite a while." Her mouth went back on my cock and made me feel heaven. "And I was wondering if ..."

"Gail Marie, where is this coming from?"

At this she pulled her mouth off of me, but continued to stroke me. "Years ago I was with her husband and you were faithful. I thought that I could give you a chance to" Then she started sucking me again.

Don't think with your dick. 

Jim, don't think with your dick. 

JIM, PLEASE DON'T THINK WITH YOUR GOD DAMN DICK NOW.

She now moved completely between my legs and got up on all fours. For our enjoyment, she started frigging her pussy for me to see while sucking me off. We've done this before. 

I continued, "Is this..." and she really started sucking me hard and then harder. Her hand in her pussy was making her back arch and her mouth moan on my cock. She loves showing off for me. Then she pulled off my cock and looked into my eyes. "She's going to be here for at least a couple more days. Why don't you think about it Jim. I think that you'd like it and it would do her and me good."

Her hands and mouth started working overtime, her tits swaying. She was going to get us both off at the same time, and I knew she was going to swallow. It was a special way we sometimes made love.

I felt the start of me coming, and she felt the change in my cock. I exploded in her mouth and a second later she went over the edge. I have no idea how many times I shot into her mouth, but some of my cum dripped out onto me. We both collapsed after the aftershocks and she spooned into me for an alcohol induced sleep. My mind raced as I fought to slowly think about the offer from my drunken partner.

The two women were long gone by the time I woke up. No notes or calls during the day. I started to feel that this was a bit of alcohol fueled fantasy and it would go away on its own. 

With my day off, I puttered around the house and prepared dinner. I grilled asparagus, some zucchini and a couple of hamburgers. I learned how to make the 'fancy schmancy' salad that included olives, feta cheese and some dried cranberries and walnuts.  

I had set the table and opened up a Sicilian red to breath. Ten minutes later, Gail Marie's car pulled up in the driveway and only one person got out. "Where's Mary? I thought that both of you would be here for dinner."

"Well actually it's great news. Jay was just out of the coma and was able to say a few words. He really was in shock when he first saw Mary, then me. He probably thought he was dreaming, or a nightmare. After he figured out that I was real, he tried to talk with me when the nurse came in and told him to relax for now.

"Mary will be staying at the hospital by his side till later tonight. I'll go and get her when she calls for a ride back. It was pretty good news. The worse news, severe brain damage, didn't happen."

"Why don't you change and we can have a quiet meal together."

It was about 10 minutes when Gail Marie came back, wearing her tight jeans and a low cut blouse. Not her normal. I was being primed and I knew that we had more to talk about.

We had a pretty quiet meal, talking about Jay and Mary and his kid and anything else but her offer. I felt the undercurrent and I'm sure she did too. We cleared the table and went to the living room to sit.

She was the one who opened it up. "So, what do you think about what I suggested yesterday? Are you interested?"

"To say that I am shocked is a bit of an understatement. Yesterday, I thought that it was the wine talking. Now you're telling me that it was real."

"Yes,. it's real. What's not to like. Your girlfriend thinks you deserve this and Mary sure could use it and..."

"Have you two talked about his?"

"We have," she paused, "and we haven't. Getting back to the house on Friday, we were both elated that Jay was doing better. Maybe me more than Mary." I gave her a frightened look.

"No, not like that Jim, not like that at all. Medically, I knew what else could be wrong but I didn't share that with Mary. She didn't need to hear all the bad things it could be when there wasn't any way to rule them in or out."




24 hours, 5 years, 10 months Ch. 07



I calmed down a bit as she went on. "Jim, please don't ever think that way again, not about me. That side of me was over 5 years ago. I will never go through that much pain in my life again for stupidity. Not for anything at all."

"But wait a minute, you are offering something like that for me? I don't understand."

"I'm getting to that Jim. Please be patient with me, I need to tell you the whole story. We got back and we were pretty happy, and very worn out. I told her to open some wine and we had dinner together. That first bottle went into a second.

"Jim, we really connected. We talked about our lives at that time and since then. She got to hear much more about my affair with Jay and my life after that. She shared her life with me. We both had to dig ourselves out of some deep holes. The only difference was that I was the one that dug my own deep dark hole. She was pushed into hers.

"As you may expect, two tipsy women started to talk about their sex lives. She's 27 and I'm still 25. I talked about my marriage and what was wrong with me and my lack of responsiveness. Then I spoke about you and us and the downs then the ups of the past months. To say the least bit, she was jealous.

"Between glasses of wine, it came out that she'd go after you in a heartbeat if somebody wasn't in your life. She said that you're attractive and would be quite a catch." At this I know I blushed and Gail Marie tried to stifle a giggle.

"By the way Jim, I personally think that she completely understated you. You're more than a catch." She stood up and kissed my lips before she sat back down.

"That's when I got that idea of you and Mary. It seemed to be a great idea at the time and I still think that it's a good idea. You've been wonderful and this would allow you to.." She paused reading my face and immediately changed direction "...if you were interested in a three way, I'd be up for that. I know she was in a three way once with two guys in college. From what she said, neither of us are interested in any girl-on-girl actions and..."

"Wait a minute before my head totally spins off my shoulders. It's now gone from getting in the sack, free and clear with Mary to now the both of you?"

"Well, yes. I want to do something great for you and I know that she'd like this two. I'm the one that fucked up both of you and..."

"And this will clear your conscious? Getting me and Mary in bed together will make you feel better?" It became very quiet. I could see the wheels turning, I didn't know where it was going to turn to.

She looked at me rather sheepishly, "I'm taking it that this isn't on your list of things you'd like to do? I thought that guys would like to have a free and clear three way with two women?"

"No Gail Marie, it's more than that. You've been punishing yourself for years. I show up in your life on a blind dinner date. Since then, all I want is for you to see that that part of your life has to be over. No more, I want an equal partner. 

"You are somebody I can trust. Can you trust that you are a wonderful person? Without having to make amends to me or anybody else for the rest of your life?

Her eyes looked somewhere else, not at me. She was looking inside. I could see the conflict.

"Do you really want to clear your conscious with me?" She nodded yes. "Then will you go to pre-cana conferences with me?"

Her face went into immediate shock then wonder then an all-encompassing joy. Couples go to Pre-cana conferences before getting married in the Catholic church. It is a class where you talk about religious and other interpersonal issues that couples normally don't talk about. To say the least it's an eye opener and a relationship builder. All my friends that have done it have felt the benefits of it.

I hadn't been much of a church goer for years, and only started back after my divorce. This was not really 'fire-engine religion' for me. The house burned down already. It was more of a 'rebuilding a strong house' religion connection.

"Will you marry me Gail Marie?" She didn't speak an answer, but I got knocked down from her jumping into my arms, hugging, kissing and crying. That's when Gail Marie's cell started ringing. Someone was needing a ride home from the hospital.

In the parking lot of St Peter's, Gail Marie and I got back in our car. We were still dripping bird seed and snow flurries. It used to be rice, but this is somehow easier on somebody, so we now have flower petals and bird seed. The reception for the 40 people for our wedding is at a restaurant 5 miles away. No big hall, but a celebration anyway. Terry and Bill stood up and Bill chewed gum during the entire ceremony.

We both pulled out our smart phones and opened up our Gmail accounts. We both had a series of emails in draft. They were addressed to the same people of over five years ago. All we needed to do was to insert a picture of us and sent them out. The subject line" "WITH GREAT JOY, Announcing the marriage .." It was only 24 hours, 5 years and 10 months later.