49 comments/ 57820 views/ 33 favorites There Was Confusion By: looking4it This will be my first real offering. My actual first was a gift to my SO when were in an online, long distance relationship. It was not my intent to make this as long as it became but I believe people now who say that a story and characters take on a life of their own. This story was born from one I read a while ago where a man finds his wife in an adjoining room and gets excited about it. Well, that one didn't set well with me so I wanted to write what I believe would be a more believable reaction. It is fiction so there may be some improbable events. It is also likely to have elements of other stories in it, I've read a bunch so that is certainly understandable. I hope I've written the events in a way that, while similar to other stories will be unique here. I have certainly provided my input on writing abilities, plot and character development and will humbly offer the same to you unless you post as anonymous. I am not a writer, I do not aspire to be an author, I simply had an idea I wanted to flesh out in story form so abusive comments will be giggled at but will garner no effect on my self-worth. I hope you enjoy. ***** There was confusion... Things were confusing... I was confused... I bolted upright in bed. I had no idea where I was and to tell the truth I was scared. As I settled down things began to clear and I started to remember where I was and what was going on. Recognizing the stereotypical desk, flat screen television, window and drapes the image of the room at the downtown Marriott began to take shape in my mind. There was still something wrong, a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, but for now I felt more comfortable and that original confusion began to fade. As my pulse slowed and the adrenalin ebbed I lay back down and reached for my wife. Immediately, the troublesome feeling that was still present spiked when my arm didn't find her lying next to me in the bed. I tried to ease my mind figuring that she had gone into the bathroom and did something that woke me accidentally. We were both attending a set of summer workshops for teachers. I was hitting the secondary classes while my wife, Janice, was taking in ones meant for elementary teachers. We both teach in the same school district and have for the past six years. I've actually worked in the district for nine years, Janice started there three years later. I teach high school history and she is one of our third grade teachers. This is an annual conference our district sends us to in order to be trained in ways to improve reading scores on our state tests. It's always nice to take a "vacation" on the district. Sure, there is a certain amount of our time spent in meeting rooms listening to experts, consultants and colleagues talk about the latest and greatest strategies but the evenings were ours and we took great advantage of them with dinner and dancing. This was our last night and we would be heading home in the morning. Well, later in the morning anyway. We had a wonderful dinner at the local chophouse and spent the rest of the evening with people we knew at a nearby club. I'm sure you can imagine that drinks and dancing led to plenty of flirting but, as usual, everyone left with the one they were suppose to and we were in our room with enough energy to make love before submitting to sleep. There didn't seem to be anything coming from the bathroom but I noticed that the door used for adjoining our room to the one next to us was slightly open. This seemed odd...beyond odd actually; it raised my anxiety to a whole new level. I tried remembering who was in the room next to us. Sleep, confusion and that nagging suspicion kept me from thinking straight yet. I could discern sounds now, but they weren't coming from the bathroom. Voices in low conversation were coming from the door leading next door. I quietly got out of bed and made my way toward the voices. When I got there I found our side to be nearly closed but the other side was wide open. I peered through the space between the door and frame and I could make out two figures near the bed. I knew what I was going to see before I had arrived to the gap. It wasn't going to take a rocket scientist to know the basics of what was beyond that door. The lithe form of my naked wife was on the end of the bed with what was apparently the cock of the man from next door in her mouth as she rocked back and forth giving him a blowjob. There was enough light from a dim table lamp to see everything going on. Since my vantage was from near pitch black it was like looking into a room in full daylight. She gave good head, I'll admit to that. Although, I'm pretty sure I've had my last. She was looking up at him while slowly moving him in and out of her mouth. She pulled back and there was a popping sound as she separated herself from his dick. I was numb...absolutely numb. I knew pissed off was not too far away but right now, in the heat of the moment I felt dead. As she pulled her head away she spoke to him. "My God Sam, this has been an amazing three days." What! Whatever was left of my mind reeled. Three days? THREE DAYS?!? What the hell kind of moron was I. "Our lunch on Wednesday was amazing and missing those clinics on Thursday was so naughty. I think a couple of the staff members who are here from my school are curious about my absences but I know they don't suspect what I've been up to. Then, last night was unbelievable. With Keith in the next room you taking my ass was indescribable. I can't believe how turned on being bad has made me this week." "If he can't keep you happy and satisfied then it has to fall on those of us who can to pick up the slack babe," Sam replied. "Oh, don't kid yourself Sam. Keith does so much more than satisfy my needs and not simply the food, shelter and conveniences but in bed I can't imagine a better lover," Janice retorted. I smiled for a nanosecond until I realized that what she is saying doesn't even come close to agreeing with what I'm seeing. The fog was beginning to lift and my anger began to boil. "How can that be Janice? With the things we've done...are doing...how can you say he is satisfying you?" Sam asked. "Look, we've fantasized about other things in our love life including people we'd do. For the most part fantasies were just that and it served to heat our passion, but I've been curious lately and I have to admit the naughtiness is more exciting than I could have imagined. Our time has been amazing and it ends tonight. I return home with Keith to be the most loving, adoring, and horny wife a man can desire. Keith will never want for attention for years to come and my guilt will feed that attention to the point of being his personal whore but for now I'm a slut...your slut...and we need to get busy before I have to return to my room to begin my self imposed penance," Janice concluded. Sam wasn't a huge guy and I probably could have taken him easily, especially considering how much adrenaline my anger was inspiring. In fact, it was likely I would probably kill him. I am no angel and my emotions run wild at times. It's my gift and my curse. I knew myself and I was capable of murder without conscience, at least in the heat of the moment. I nearly gave into that temptation but somewhere in the back of my mind I held my ground. I can't say in hindsight that it was a good decision or bad one, what it did was keep me out of prison. A quick plan was beginning to form in my mind and I figured I needed some important evidence that would help make sure people were able to believe my side of the story. I was thinking of where my phone or camera was when I noticed I was squeezing my phone in my right hand. Apparently, my subconscious knew what was going on or had a really good guess because I absentmindedly picked it up from the nightstand when I had approached the door. Silence and stealth were the important aspects of successfully pulling off my plan. I did notice that while I had been seemingly trying to squeeze lemon juice out of my phone I had no sexual excitement whatsoever. Yes, we had shared fantasies and even talked about bringing another into our bed. We'd even talked about specific people for the fun of it that really made for some wild nights. This was so far from what I was now witnessing that it wasn't funny. Well, in reality I guess it wasn't funny in any fashion. I set my phone for video recording and plied the door open a little more so I could get a full screen view. Janice had gone back to sucking the assholes dick and was really getting into it. He was beginning to moan and buck forward slightly, trying to get more cock into her mouth. Her eyes closed now as she worked to finished what she had recently interrupted. I had a good angle and the blowjob did nothing to hide who she was should someone she knew saw the video...and I was quite sure someone she knew would. It wasn't long and he shot his load in her mouth. I wasn't worried about being caught because this is Janice's thing: get the guys first one out of the way and then she'd be guaranteed to have his full attention to work on her. "Yes, lover. Just like that. Hmmmmm, such an artful tongue. Oh my God Sam, that's it, suck my clit," Janice quietly purred. She had laid back, opened her legs to him and pulled his head into her crotch. "You taste like no one else, Janice, I swear you pussy is a true honey pot," Sam replied. Okay I had enough and was literally ready to puke on the both of them right before wringing their necks with my bare hands. I had a record of both faces clear enough to identify, they had clearly named each other and been actively engaged in intimate sexual contact. It was time to get the hell out of there and let her know just exactly what her "secret" adventure was going to cost her. Although not formally diagnosed, I have certain compulsions and one of them is to not waste time. Janice was willing to overlook many of my faults and this one usually made her chuckle, shake her head and sometimes walk away. One of my travelling compulsions was to be 99.99% packed the night before leaving a hotel. Tonight, that was going to serve me well. Again, "stealth of the ninjas" was paramount. I won't go into the details but opening and closing doors silently was a specialty of mine. It takes a gentle hand and a great deal of patience to do it right but I'd had enough practice to be probably "burgularesque" about it. I began with the door on our side. It helped that although they were quiet they totally into each other. I think the fact that this was their final scene led them to be sloppier than they had originally planned. I managed to get the door closed and the latch in place without their notice. I moved quickly on my side. Clothes were laid out for the next day, suitcases packed, laptops and literature we'd gathered were secured in our travel bags and only bare essential toiletries were around the sink. I dressed myself quickly and secured anything loose in my bag. I gathered her travel clothes and packed them along with her personal bathroom items. The travel bags fit on top of the rolling suitcases so, while awkward, I could manage both bags at the same time. I didn't now her timetable but I did want to be done long before they were. I did a quick final check and moved the bags toward the door. Anyone who has stayed in a hotel can imagine how hard this next part was. Doors in hotels are notoriously noisy. Perhaps they do it on purpose for safety sake, perhaps hotels don't give a rat's ass on the noise level of their doors but I knew I'd have to be good AND lucky to pull the next part off. I quietly turned the door handle and unlatched the safety bars and deadbolt. Quiet enough. I ever so slowly opened the door and set one case in front of it. Rolling the other into the hall I went back into the room and removed all of the towel and bedding, taking them down the hall and dropping them off in the vending area. I knew that she could easily take something from Sam to dress in but I was going to do everything I could to inconvenience her and let her know that I knew about her infidelity. She was going to know I was pissed beyond reason. Still moving as quickly as I could in "stealth mode" I returned to my room (my not our...how quickly our minds can adapt) and set about the hardest part of the plan. I moved the second set of bags into the hall and allowed the door to move closed. This would be tricky and I'm not really sure how I succeeded but I managed to use the key before it closed to turn the outer handle and keep the latch from clanging shut and giving me away. Like I said, more than a little luck was involved but apparently I was owed some Karma on behalf of my wife's cheating. Once that was done it was a simple matter of getting down to the front desk, informing the night clerk there was an emergency that was calling my wife and I back much earlier than expected and could he check us out of our room right now. I told him my wife had already gone outside and was on the phone to family. I gave him both keys to the room, rolled the bags out the front door, loaded the car and began the long drive home. ----- I know that if I had driven straight through from Seattle to Miami, stopping only for quick naps at rest areas it still wouldn't have felt as long as the six hours I drove to get home that morning. Home. What a joke. It wasn't home anymore. I'm not sure it was even a house. It was an abode or a dwelling. It was little more than a roof to keep me warm and dry; a safe place to store my stuff. My stuff. Again, I noticed that I'm already thinking as a single man instead of a husband or partner. That made me sad and angry all over again. The loneliness on that solitary drive was amplified by the fact that it began about 3:00 am. In hindsight, I'm absolutely sure it was a good thing I left early because I remember absolutely nothing about the first two hours of the drive outside of my mind working to get around what I woke up to earlier. Another saving grace of my emotional state was to miss out on the potentially massive hangover I'd have had otherwise. Right now I'd take that hangover because it would have meant I'd either still be in the dark or she'd have been faithful, in which case we would have woken up later, had a nice breakfast, shared the driving duties and share what we had learned over the course of the week. The sun was rising and my mind was still in a haze. I needed to eat and desperately needed some coffee to keep me going so I began to watch signs for an exit with fast food restaurants. My iPhone had an app showing what's at upcoming exits on the interstate. I knew this route well enough to know where exits would be but not what is available at each one. I hadn't powered down my phone but was surprised to see three missed phone calls and at least a half dozen messages from numbers I didn't recognize. I hadn't heard it signal either which made me realize just how out of it I had been during the drive. Another reason I needed to get off and get myself together. As I began to focus on the present I knew that the message and missed calls were from Janice. She had to be using the asshole's personal and hotel room phone to try and contact me. I deleted the missed calls and voice mails. I had no interest in talking to her, after all part of my plan was to leave her as high and dry in the hotel with her new fuck bud. I read only as much of the text messages as it took to delete them. "Keith, where are you? Please call..." Yeah right, not anytime soon if I could help it. I did stop and get something to eat and drink, stretch my legs and use the restroom. The quicker I put distance between us the better I'd be. Well, at least that what I kept telling myself. Why...Why...WHY? This haunted me. I'm not the easiest person to live with. I know that. So did she. I'm a workaholic and dedicated to be the best teacher that I could be for my students. Janice had a similar drive too; at least that's what she told me and the way I saw her work in the classroom. The reason we didn't have kids yet was her desire to establish a position in the district and the fact that we were dedicated to the students we often referred to as our "kids." I'm also too trusting...to a fault. But it is an all or nothing feeling. I trust until someone proves that I cannot do so anymore and then it's fully lost. I don't make assumptions in regard to how I view the way others act, it is a clean slate until it's broken then its no slate at all. That's where we are now and Janice has to know it. She's seen it with my relationship among the administration, faculty and some students. Those that have lied to me or otherwise purposefully mislead me would never be trusted again. I'm not talking about accidental mistakes but I am honest and I expect others to be as well. I am faithful and I profoundly expect my wife to do so as well. Janice is my first wife but not my first long term serious relationship. I had a girlfriend in high school and we had dated since Homecoming of our sophomore year. By the time we were approaching graduation we were inseparable. One of the few things we differed on was where we were going to college. I was staying a local by attending the nearby state college. It was not considered our family's college of choice but I did have several family members that had attended and I absolutely loved the town it was in. She was going to study business out of state. We both had great grades and test scores; we simply didn't respect each other's choice of schools. Well maybe it wasn't a lack of respect but a difference in priorities. It is safe to say that being in college and that far from each other was going to make our relationship hard to maintain. In the long run she did fail first but I knew it wasn't going to work. We agreed that we would break things off until we were done with college and see if we wanted to renew...we didn't, and both knew it at the time. I had a few short-term steady girls in college but we all knew that's not what we were there for, especially in the first three years. In my senior year I met Charlie, Charelene on her birth certificate, who was a theater major. Almost from the first moment we met we were comfortable in each other's company. She even got me to take a bit part in one of the plays that year and I learned that performing on stage was similar to teaching in a classroom. I learned several skills that served me well as a high school social studies teacher from a personal confidence in front of a group to being able to play act to help explain the point I wanted to put across to the students. We graduated and found jobs in the same urban area where we could rent a condo and work on our careers and post college relationship. She didn't possess a superstar or model type of gorgeous but she was pretty in one of those stereotypical "girl next door" kind of ways. She was able to garner some nice commercial time for local companies and considered some work in one of the local television news companies. For about six months she began to get quiet and antsy. I didn't think she was fooling around but I knew something was bothering her. We had talked about making our commitment permanent but we both had determined that we weren't quite ready yet. I tried to subtly try to get to tell me what was wrong but I simply couldn't get her to open up. I had come home a little late from a particularly long week at school. When I entered the condo I noticed immediately several boxes and a suitcase in the foyer. Walking into the living room I notice Charlie was sitting on the couch and she looked uncomfortable. She noticed me immediately and gave a slight smile and asked me to sit with her. I really didn't feel like she was someone that would play around on me even if we hadn't publically committed ourselves to fidelity. There Was Confusion "Keith, I know you've suspected something was bothering me lately," Charlie started. I nodded and she continued, "We always talk things through and that has made us strong. I really can't say why I've kept this to myself and it bothers me that I did that, but I have a chance to work in California on a pilot to a new sitcom and I've decided that it's something I am going to take advantage of. It is an offer I can't refuse." I was gob smacked. I never really knew what that meant until that moment. Speechless wasn't good enough, surprised wasn't good enough, so gob smacked it was. Finally I found my voice, "Honey, that is awesome. I know I'm committed through the school year but you can move out there now and I can join you when school is out. We'd have the summer to get settled and I can look for a job." I didn't need to see her face to know that there was a reason she had hidden this from me for so long. "Keith, I don't think you should come with me. I have enough friends and contacts in the business to know what I'm going to have to do or imply doing that I don't want to put you through that kind of emotional strain. I love you as much as I'll ever love man but I cannot expect you to live that lifestyle and I can't afford to professionally have to worry how you will react to a situation," Charlie was really tearing up by this time. "Dad and my brother Bill will be here shortly to help me pack. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You will never know how sorry I truly am for leaving in this way." We have never made a decision in our relationship that was even half this important without talking about it. She shut me out completely. I knew why. I knew she felt I would have been able to talk her out of going or letting me come and I also knew she didn't want to hurt me which is why she held onto the news and waited as long as she did. Not that any of that knowledge mattered. It hurt beyond belief and being shut out was more than I could handle. "What the hell do you think you are doing? We've talked through every decision in our relationship that would affect each other. You selfish bitch! How do you know what I'm capable of handling? Just how far are you willing to go to make your career work? I guess I should be happy now, if you so willingly compromise your morals so easily in the future then perhaps you've already done that locally. Perhaps this is why you've blocked deeper discussions about marrying me. Wow, what a relief this is becoming." I was seething and I was hurting like never before...and, in turn, I wanted to hurt her back. I know she probably expected this kind of reaction but it still hit her hard. She simply whispered, "I'm so sorry, Keith. I'll never be able to let you know how much." She stood and moved to the door where her dad and brother were waiting. She had them ready to go when I arrived but wanted to talk to me first. I know they heard what I had said and they liked me well enough to know why I said it and that I truly didn't mean it in my heart. They had her things loaded and were ready to go in less than 20 minutes. She looked at me and waited to see if there was anything else to say or do. I stood stoically, not staring her down or daring her to do anything, simply frozen in the mood. She gave a slight smile, a look of honesty from her eyes and mouthed, "I love you" before closing the door. I was devastated. It took two years and moving to another school district before I even considered dating again. Trust took much longer. ----- What I couldn't truly believe was that I had no clue Janice was carrying on at the conference and that she would even consider starting an affair, short or long term. It was that trust level again. Once I had learned that not all women were going to leave me in the lurch I met Janice at the beginning of the new school year. This district starts each year with a full faculty gathering and an address from the superintendent with some type of motivational speaker to get everyone pumped up for the school year. This is typically a waste of time and money because at the beginning of school is not when teachers are down and need a spark. Halfway through first semester or as we approach testing times would be a better option but hey, making practical decisions is not what administrators are always known for. I had developed a friendship with one of the district's fourth grade teachers. Nothing sexual, we were buddies. I had arrived to the meeting early and had a seat next to me. I was doodling on my iPad (okay I was playing a game) when Marge approached with a cute fresh face. Marge introduced her as Janice, a new 3rd grade teacher, and promptly sat her between us. I got the hint and began some light conversation while we waited for the meeting to start. It turns out that we had quite a bit in common and I asked her out for coffee after today's scheduled meetings were over. Dinner seemed a little presumptuous for having just met but I felt like a nice conversation during an afternoon coffee could lead to dinner tonight or later in the week. She agreed and we did end up having a simple dinner that night with an agreement to meet for dinner on Friday night. Needless to say we did have a fairly quick courtship and were planning a wedding for June after school was out. Trust. We had what I had always considered a textbook marriage. We talked about everything, we had a terrific love life that was consistent, spontaneous and adventurous, we shared goals and agreed on beginning a family. We did discuss aspects of our sex life including fantasies that occasionally considered others in our bed. We really didn't have a preference for a woman or man, simply the nuances that would be associated with one gender or the other. Naivety. I hated to be hurt emotionally. Okay, who does? People have a tendency to block out things that could hurt or damage them. Is love blind? Certainly, at least in a way. We protect ourselves from that which could hurt us the most and can't fathom the person we trust the most letting us down the hardest. Janice wasn't able to get away with anything, I allowed her to do the things she did, act the way she would, and enjoy the moments she stole because I had no intention of seeing her for what she was, a self centered whore. Don't get me wrong, she made choices (bad, bad choices) but the surprise was due to my lack of vigilance. Making this decision to try a little something new on the side was a one-way decision just like Charlie. I was simply a trusting fool. I'm sure she will be telling me that it didn't mean anything, I wasn't missing anything or she didn't want to hurt me which is why she didn't bring up her "urges." ----- While I was paying better attention to the road time still was a foreign concept to me. I realized I was about an hour from home and it was approaching 8:00 am. I knew I had to get some things in order to make sure my life and property were protected. A stop to a building supply/hardware store gave me a chance to get some of the things I needed. Radio Shack was my second stop and the liquor store was third. It was early but urban/suburban stores are opening amazingly early on Saturdays. I knew the last store was not an answer but I also knew that when I had a chance to stop moving I was going to need a way to forget for a while. I was really sure I had at least 12 to 24 hours to prepare. I was hoping that leaving her in an embarrassing situation with conventional ways of communication and a blind hope I'd forgive her would keep Janice from getting here too soon. I'm fairly sure Steve lived in the opposite part of the state, she was without cell phone and laptop and her family lives in another state. Pretty sure she would call my family as a last resort since she couldn't be sure what I had told them. As soon as I was home I set to work. I knew if I stopped moving things would get ugly for me so I stayed as busy as possible. Locks changed, voice recorder installed, webcam set up in the living room, and suitcases unloaded...mine inside, hers out. I opened the box of trash bags and gathered what few boxes were in our garage and started to pack things that were specifically Janice's...at least in my mind. I knew there would be items that we would have to dicker over later but in all honesty, I doubted there was much that I would put my foot down over. That is with the exception of the house. My house. And this time it really was mine not some emotional detachment of my marriage. I had purchased it the spring before I met Janice. Because of my self-imposed exile from dating I had actually saved quite a bit of money, even for a school teacher. There were few expenses outside of basic living and I had taken a summer job to keep my mind busy so my savings accumulated quickly. I had paid a hefty down payment on a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage house not too far from the high school I taught at and I was able to pay down the mortgage pretty quickly. It was certainly in my name only, purchased before we even met, over three quarters paid for before the marriage and I would fight tooth and nail to keep it that way. The funny thing is I knew I would sell it as soon as the divorce was final. Through no fault of its own I would never feel the same about it. What was our home was now a shell; a box holding items whose worth was dropping exponentially. The phone tap and web cam were to record any conversations I, or anyone else, would have in my house. The locks were to keep Janice out unless she had my permission. It is amazing about how much an average garbage sack can hold. Drawers, jewelry, closets and medicine cabinets emptied quickly; especially when you don't care in what way they are packed. Several opportunities to smile sarcastically as I threw handfuls of things haphazardly into the bags and boxes, gave me a little therapeutic revenge. Boxes and bags were stacked in the garage. When I was done I packed as much of that stuff in Janice's car as would fit and stacked the rest just inside the garage door with her suitcase and travel case. I knew she would be here eventually and I wanted no reason to let her in. Sun had gone down and I found nothing else I could do. There was a bottle with my name on it and I guess it was time to open it... ----- I expected to awaken to a pounding. With each glass of alcohol I downed I knew what the morning would bring and I also forgot a little more about my life and marriage. My hangover would be a welcome consequence, the headache and commode hugging would keep my mind elsewhere... ----- There was a pounding. I opened my eyes and was confused with the fact I didn't wake specifically from a headache, nausea or other bathroom needs. There it was again, a pounding. I had to figure out why there was a pounding outside my head as well as in. I could hardly think straight enough to breathe right so it took awhile to figure out that it was the front door that was pounding. Well, someone was pounding on it. I gathered my wits, much as I could, and figured out that I was still in my clothes from the hotel. Well, sort of. Soiled was an understatement. More pounding. I removed my clothes and found a pair of running shorts and t-shirt. I put on my bathrobe too and waddled toward the door. More pounding and a voice from the other side, "Mr. Fredericks. This is the police Mr. Fredericks, please open the door." I made it to the door. One breath. Two. Okay, okay...I better open before he knocks again. I opened the door to witness a hand heading toward the screen door again. It stopped before knocking and the gentleman in the uniform said, "Mr. Fredericks?" I nodded slightly. I think it was very clear by looking at me that I'd had better days waking up in the morning. "Mr. Fredericks, we have a Mrs. Janice Fredericks here and she seems to be locked out of her home." "Well officer, Mrs. Fredericks doesn't live here anymore." As I said that I heard a stifled sob to the right of the door. "We understand that the two of you are still married, is that true Mr. Fredericks?" the officer asked. "Simply a temporary situation due mostly to the fact it is a weekend. Come tomorrow morning, as early as possible, I will be fixing that little mistake," little less stifled this time, "and the moment you show me the law, and I mean the letter of the law, that tells me I owe my wife a place to live then I will open this door to her. Until that time, her clothes and basic belongings are packed in her car or set in front of the house. That includes her phone and laptop. Phone service, credit cards, auto insurance and similar things have been canceled." The officer looked to his left, grimaced and asked, "Is that really necessary Mr. Fredericks?" I simply replied, "Yes officer, without a doubt." I shut the door and moved to the window. The officer was helping Janice move from the door toward her car. She looked a mess. Her hair was all over the place and I can't imagine where her clothes came from. I was torn. She deserved everything she was feeling right now and yet this was the woman I had loved so deeply. Compassion was quickly suppressed and I turned from the window, finding my way back to my—MY—bedroom. ----- I was able to contact the credit card companies and cancel the cards we had together as well as her cell phone service. The car insurance was canceled as well and I did some online banking. Wow, the wonders of electronic access. I also found four divorce lawyers that were noted as the top in the area and they took online appointments. Since moving here I never really looked at summer as anything more than time to prepare for the next school year. I will be making full use of tomorrow when it arrives. ----- Morning came and I was better than the day before. My mind was still a shambles and I was depressed beyond belief. I had objectives today and I needed to get started. A shower and some breakfast. Clean set of clothes. Okay, I'm on my way out to meet a new set of "friends." Can your lawyer be your friend? I suppose so but in reality I was looking for an advocate who would help me keep my dignity. I hope by contacting four that would reduce the pool Janice had to choose from. Okay, so I'm capable of being selfish too. The long and short of the four meetings was that I would probably keep my house, but no guarantees. Since it was partially paid off while we were married then they could argue she owned some equity in it. We were close enough in experience that our pensions and salaries were fairly equal. Two of them told me, off the record, that my pictures and recordings could help as leverage but threatening to make them public on the Internet would probably be construed as extortion. The fact I had them dead to rights on "film" should be enough to avoid maintenance (alimony), sharing our retirement and control of the house. It is absolutely insane that our society today condones adultery. Our state, as with most others, doesn't really offer an advantage for divorce on any grounds but Irreconcilable Differences. She cheats and it's simply a bad choice; do try to forgive the whore (okay, my words not the legal systems). Forget Alienation of Affections for asshats like Sam, it was her promises not his that I had issues with. Ugh! That is why I was adamant about not allowing her back into the house. I pressed Jackson (the attorney I ended up choosing) to sue for breach of contract for both of them just in case she were to get a court order to gain access the house. He told me others had tried that view and it's very hard to be successful. I told him that it was a matter of principle and I wanted her to be reminded what she did and that I viewed oral promises made in front of witnesses to be binding. It was also a reminder that this could get a whole lot more ugly if she pressed me to shed details in the public record. I really didn't want to go any further than cutting her out of my life, finding a way to move forward and retain some self-respect. She had to know that this could really come back to put a huge strain on her relationship with her family and her career as a teacher. Not only was she adulterous but she chose to act on her desires while representing the district at a conference. Yes, this could get bad for her quick if truth were told. There would be plenty of rumor, speculation and innuendo simply from those who were there. We were set to serve her on Thursday if we could find out where she had ended up living. I had some ideas about where to look and I gave them to Jackson, I really didn't want to do that myself and he agreed it would be ultimately easier for him. I was fairly sure that the one person she could count on right now was Marge. Marge was my best friend in the district, and quite frankly, probably my best friend in the world. She always had my back and I had hers. She was ever reminding me that she was responsible for bringing Janice into my life. They had become best friends too and perhaps there was a little "girl power" that helped their friendship become just as strong and lasting. Janice would have cooked up some kind of story to allow Marge to help her, some kind of crazy misunderstanding. The fact that I hadn't heard from Marge yet told me that she probably had serious doubts about Janice's side of the issue. I wouldn't hold this against Marge, she knew how alone Janice was here in regard to family and friends and even though she probably doubted Janice's story she knew she had an obligation for now as her friend. I'd like to say that going over the story four more times that day was cathartic, but it wasn't. I was tired, both mentally and emotionally, and some of that was due to the long drive and subsequent activity on Saturday and Sunday (okay, the drinking might have contributed as well). I will admit my anger had receded. There would be no forgiveness, I'm a hard-hearted bastard and I know what I'm capable of. There would be no forgiveness and there would be no reconciliation. There would also be no pillory and rotten vegetables. Of course, that was more of a societal change than a personal preference. So, somewhere in between forgiveness and public humiliation... ----- I found out quickly that sitting around the house Monday night and Tuesday was not going to work. Being surrounded by "us" and feeling sorry for myself only made my depression more pathetic so I came up with a plan: road trip. There is a little town about 3 to 4 hours west of us that had an amazing set of restaurants and was remote enough to let me get myself together. Yes, I'd taken Janice there many times but it was my place initially and the familiarity of that town would help. First thing Wednesday I was on the road again. This time I was rested and there was a mission to accomplish. The drive was decent (thank God for satellite radio) and I was able to secure a hotel room before noon. The room itself wouldn't be ready until later in the day but it was reserved and I could go find a place to relax. There was a cute little park on the north side of town with a children's fishing pond on the west end. Armed with my books and a comfortable reclining yard chair I set about taking myself out of this world and into somewhere safe. I love to read and the truly sad part about being a teacher is that I rarely had time to read what I wanted when I wanted to. I made up some in the summer but I was always behind on my reading list. When I read I immerse myself in that world and putting the book down sometimes becomes impossible. Maybe it was running away from my troubles but I needed to center myself and the best way I could think of was to get totally out of the situation and eventually come back into it with a refreshed and renewed attitude. There Was Confusion Before I knew it my stomach was growling and it was nearing dinnertime. Already feeling better I decided to get back to the hotel drop off my stuff and then find something to eat. I returned to the hotel and decided to check my phone. I'd kept it off to avoid as many "real life" distractions as possible but I wanted to see if my attorney had any news and make sure my family didn't need me for something. I really hadn't thought much about it, mostly because I didn't want to deal with it I suppose, but Janice hadn't tried to contact me since Saturday. I briefly thought it would take some time to set herself up and a phone was probably not the highest on her list. So I was annoyed to see a text and voice mail message. The text simply said 'please call'. The voice mail was a little longer but basically the same, "Keith, please call me when you can. We need to talk." Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, heard it or read it, that statement is simply moronic. Of course we do, but I think that would have been so much more appropriate last week before the nooners and midnight rendezvous' began. BITCH! Damn, damn, DAMN. Ugh! All right, I'm here to get away from this and that is what I need to do. I sent a quick text back, 'not now give me a couple days'. Before I could get my phone turned off she sent back, 'okay...ILY'. Okay, that made me snort. Did you ever wish you could reach into cyberspace through your phone, monitor or tablet and simply slap the person on the other end? Yeah, well I do quite often. There's that and arming my car with paintball guns to "tag" those who shouldn't have a driver's license. Okay, anger management, I get it but you know you'd want it too. The police could simply watch for people who have a minimal number of paint blotches and give them a general nuisance citation. Come on, it would serious cut down road rage. Really, it would, but I digress. Back to my books and trying to forget the unfaithful whore, cyber technology and bad drivers. ----- I woke the next morning lying on the book I was reading and still in my clothes from the day before. Man, that really needs to stop. A shower and change of clothes had me ready to visit the coffee shop that had the most amazing cinnamon rolls and coffee in the world. Well, every town has that but heck, since I'm here I am sticking by my remark. I decided to return to my park and set about leaving this world and its woes again. If Jackson had done what he was suppose to have, Janice would be served today and it was a day to remain unchained to the e-world. I would have to tell my family at some point. They wouldn't be like some you've read about where a few, or a lot, would take her side. Blood was thicker than water, not in a redneck way, but my family supported each other and their love for me and the respect they had for the way I made decisions helped me know that I had no worries there. They'd be sad but supportive. I was again brought back to reality by my digestive system and my body's need for nourishment. I had decided to return to the place from the night before. This was the greatest Mexican food I've ever eaten and it was worth repeated trips. After the meal, which was considerably more than I needed, I thought I'd better check my phone again. One message from Janice, 'i'm so so sorry Keith. please forgive me'. A voice mail from a number I recognized as probably one of Jackson's and another from Marge. "Keith, call me please." Short and sweet. I'm guessing I was right about Janice being with Marge or at least talking to her. Marge answered, "Keith?" "Yeah, Margie it's me." I answered "Oh my God. What in the world is going on? Janice is a wreck and you've fallen off the face of the earth." "Well, life as I knew it stopped early Saturday morning. Falling off the face of the earth would have honestly been preferable." "Janice has barely been coherent since Sunday and when she received the envelope from your lawyer today she is practically catatonic. What happened at the conference? Gladys dropped Janice off late Saturday night with not so much as a 'how do ya do' and all I've gotten from Janice is a mumbled mess about screwing up." Gladys was a primary grade level teacher who is in the spinster mode from ages past. I don't think she was a lesbian, she simply didn't find a man to her liking (yet?) and was committed to her students. "That about sums it up Marge. Couldn't have said it better myself actually." "I know you Keith and I trust that you have made your decision based on fact but you do have a tendency to fly off the hammer at times. What was worth leaving her across the state with nothing?" "Here, this will help," and I hung up on her. I found the video on my phone and sent it to her. Well, that ought to surprise her, perhaps upset her, but definitely help answer her question. She'd get over it. Marge knew me and had to expect something like that or at least it would show my emotional state and how serious things were. I turned my phone off again for a while. We'd talk again later. Janice had the paperwork so the ball was in her court for now. That gave me a small amount of peace for the moment. A little weight was taken from my shoulders and I was suddenly tired again. The hotel bed was calling my name and I obliged. ----- This isn't a tiny town as I might have alluded to earlier. It was big enough for a small college to serve this part of the state and with most college towns there was a local pizzeria to serve the needs of the student populace. In my world pizza was one of he basic food groups. On the pyramid of nutrition pizza was the inside of the triangle and everything else shared the pencil line border. Pizza would serve as dinner and breakfast so walked over toward campus to place my order. It was my intention to order my pizza To Go. I noticed a woman about my age or so that looked strangely familiar. I thought it must be a former student from my first years as a teacher but that just didn't seem right. As it got closer for my turn to place my order I noticed she had seen me and had the same look on her face that I imagined I had just moments earlier. I placed my order for the "King of the Hill" (super meat combo of every meat known to man...and a few I suspect not so well known but I wasn't asking) and told them it was to go when it hit me. Darcy. It was Darcy. That woman was Darcy Green. A small world doesn't even begin to cut it Mr. Disney, this was an improbability. Darcy Green was my high school sweetheart. I handed my money to the cashier and turned my head to see she had the same realization at that moment that I had. We rapidly went from a wry smile to outright laughter when the absurdity of meeting here so many years later dawned on us. I raised my eyebrows in between giggles and she nodded. I collected my change, putting some of it in the tip jar, and made my way to her table. She was alone and had begun to eat what I assume was a Calzone or small Stromboli. That part didn't really matter. As I approached she stood and opened her arms for a hug that I gladly provided. "My God, Keith, it really IS you," she said breaking the hug. "In the flesh Darcy. What in the world are you doing here?" I said as we sat across from each other. "I work for the college as a professor in the business department. My husband received a position in the administration and there just happened to be an opening for my expertise." "She caught me glancing at her left hand and said, "Well, ex-husband now. Seemed like he had an affinity for coeds and I didn't like sharing. And by that I mean the STD he shared with me," she said with a little angst in her voice. I reached over for her hand and I said, "I am so sorry Darcy. What a horrible way to find out." I grimaced as I remembered how I found out. "Keith?" "Nothing hon', we've much to catch up on and some will be good as well as bad. Let's just say I can empathize with your views on fidelity." "Oh, Keith. I'm sorry." It was silent for a moment but I was determined not to waste time dwelling on reality. I was here for distraction and I could not have prayed for a better one. We sat at her table until my pie was done and then we moved outside. There were some picnic tables in and around the pizzeria, some a little worse for wear than others, and we were able to find one that was sturdy but private. She told me her story of going to college and finding the business world a little too bustling for her. She did manage an MBA but ended up figuring out she was much more comfortable teaching future business leaders than being one. They had moved to this college for him but she stayed for herself. She liked the students they attracted and she felt she made a difference. Her salary was good enough to live comfortably and found that single life allowed her to have what she needed and wanted. She did date off and on but nothing ever serious. I told her my story and I could tell she was taken in with the part of my life with Charlie. I think she saw herself in Charlie and knew that she was guilty of similar things in regard to decisions and my feelings. I could tell she was feeling my pain when I described Charlie's decision to leave. I saw her beaming with me when I talked about teaching and how I loved my job and my students. I knew she could sense the cloud over my heart when I began to talk about Janice and cried with me when I described what I found nearly a week ago. She held me as I lost control. I knew I'd kept things bottled in and it simply broke open. I was glad we'd gone outside and found a table that was pretty private. I needed to share with someone and Darcy was there to comfort me and tell me it would be alright, that I would hurt but she could tell me from experience that I would live and love again someday. ----- I woke once again in a mental fog (this has got to stop) but managed to get my bearings quicker. I knew I was in a hotel, in my favorite out of the way town and in my clothes (okay, this may be what gets me into therapy). What was unfamiliar was the body next to me. I looked over and found that Darcy was holding me tight as she slept. She was still in her clothing from the night before (whew, not just me) and she had a content look on her face as she lightly snored. I looked around the room and could see the pizza box on top of the small refrigerator that came with the room. I had to assume she put our leftovers in there and stayed to comfort me during my meltdown. There was nothing sexual here, it was one friend consoling another who had been hurt. As I lay there Mother Nature took control of my body. Damn, that will wake Darcy and this is where I really need to be right now. No amount of Zen thought could relieve the need and I tried to be as subtle as possible but Darcy was attuned to what I needed and she woke to make sure I was all right. My God she was still beautiful and that smile hadn't lost that youthful joy. Okay, I'd awaken her and assured her things were okay so it was time to pay my morning duty which was the reason for disturbing perfection in the first place. She took her turn when I was done. We decided to stay in for breakfast. She wasn't really hungry and didn't have a change of clothes even if she was. I did have a change but stayed in what I had to go to the lobby for coffee. There was a breakfast bar and various guests were waking up and figuring out what they wanted to eat. While I waited my turn for coffee I turned my phone on to see what the afternoon and night had left me. One message from Marge, 'OMG'. A second voice mail from Jackson that I assume was confirming the delivery of the paperwork and checking to see if I'd gotten the first message. A missed call from my parents, I guess word had traveled to them somehow, and another missed call from a number I didn't recognize. I managed to get the coffee back to the room without spilling too much. Darcy had worked to put herself more in order and graciously accepted my coffee. We talked about what happened last night and she assured me things were fine, she simply didn't feel that I needed to be by myself last night. "Keith, you need to go home," She said bluntly. "Darce, I have no home." "You know what I mean. You will have other emotions to deal with now but grief should be on the way out now. For your sake and Janice's you need to begin to put closure on this relationship, whatever that might be, in order to move forward from here." "I know you've been there and are probably right but it really isn't that easy." "I know that as well, Keith, but you're right I can say from experience that self-pity only leads to a deeper depression that will be harder to work out of." She looked at me with the same passion I remember from high school. Not a physical passion but a deep loving passion I'd missed terribly. "I'll be here Keith. When you are ready I will be right here." Then she put on that wry little mischievous smile, looked around and said giggling, "Well, not right here." Darcy was right, of course, and I packed up to return to face my future. ----- The drive back wasn't as long or tedious as a week ago. A week ago...really? In so many ways it seems like a half a lifetime. It took longer than normal because I really had no need to push the speed limit. I needed a plan and I took this opportunity to figure out whom I wanted to talk to and what I was going to do. The only message on my phone was from Darcy. She sent me a text, 'b strong, b open, trust ur gut'. When my cell service was strong enough I called Marge. I hadn't talked to her since the video was sent and I felt that some information about what Janice had been telling people, how she was doing and what others might be saying would be important to how I went forward. "Keith, thank God. Where are you? How are you doing? Why have you been off the radar? I'm so sorry, I suspected but had no idea," was the way Marge answered my call. Obviously, I had left her in the dark too long. "I'm heading home, such that it is. I've been better but a week and leaving town had improved that a bit. It seemed like the best way for me to get in control of my emotions," trying to answer most of her questions as I remembered them. "You know I've not taken sides, right?" "Yes, Margie, no worries here. I know Janice is pretty much alone here and I'm glad she had you to turn to." "Well, you did a number on her," she said and continued as I began to interrupt, "I know hon', she really did a number on herself. I had no clue she would ever even consider something like that." "I guess that makes two of us," I said with a deadpan tone. Some of the energy I'd "stolen" from Darcy was beginning to wane. "A good friend told me I needed to pick my ass up and begin to find a way to move forward and that it had to start by talking to Janice. I was thinking of things that would help me deal with that. Please don't take this as anything more than base curiosity but how is she doing?" "For quite awhile she was an emotional wreck. What she went through to get back here really hit home with how alone she is without you. She knows she fucked up and has finally come pretty clean to me about everything that led to you leaving. Of course, she doesn't really know how much you know but she understands that it is enough to have damaged your relationship. On the front I think she hopes that it is repairable, however, I believe she knows that things are beyond repair. Being served devastated her and she is just now responding to conversation and eating something. I can't imagine what you feel like Keith." "I won't kid you Margie, I feel about as useless as a fart in the wind," I'd always wanted to use that phrase but lacked the opportunity, so I sported a wry smile as I continued, "and its all I can do to stay on the road at times. I'm not sorry she feels like shit, this situation of all, ALL of her own doing." "I know hon', and she does too. One of the few times she was lucid enough to talk to me she told me what she had done and as much of a why as she could muster." "So, what does the rumor mill have going about Janice and me?" "To be honest Keith, since it's summer and Janice has me on a semi-suicide watch I have no clue what people are saying. There is enough information and misinformation that I'm sure some of them are really taking advantage of the situation. Gossipers in general cannot find a more satisfying pleasure than speculating on what others are doing," she said with some exasperation. "So she hasn't needed to talk to anyone else about this?" "I can't be certain but unless she's been on the phone to anyone I don't think so." Well, I wasn't sure what I'd do with information about what others might know but it would be nice to be able to go places in town with some expectation of how people might react to my presence. At the very least I was expecting the knowing, sympathetic (emphasis on the pathetic part) glances where they didn't think I could see or notice. I've seen it before, twice in fact. I had pulled off for gas and a drink and sent a text to Janice, 'k time to talk'. I returned to the highway and let my mind wander as I drove. I had two things that bothered me the most: Janice's ability to so easily slip into an affair, my inability to see what she was doing. Both of them were based almost wholly on the fact I trusted her completely. I knew that was something I did, however, this is not the first time this has happened. In fact, it is the third time in as many deeply committed relationships I've ever had. I knew I had to stop this line of thinking soon or I'd regret it. I already knew a fourth time would be unlikely and if I dwelt to deeply on the hurt and disappointment in myself, as much as Janice, that there would probably not be another opportunity to trust. My thoughts turned to Darcy. First, she was where I wanted...no, needed to be. She also held a piece of my heart and always would. Is it possible to try anew with her? Would it even be a smart move to try? Should I wait and what if I waited too long? She is still a beautiful woman and I have no idea how long she would be available for a relationship to develop between us. She said she hasn't even been tempted to try with anyone else, but how long could that last? My phone beeped, 'really?' 'yes' 'name the time and place' 'k' Where do we meet? Someplace safe for both of us but private. Would it be best for a friend or witness? Probably in a legal sense but I'm not sure in a relationship sense. We are not getting together, that is a done deal. Even as my anger fades my hurt is not and forgiveness is impossible. My memory is still fresh, strong and clear. The house is out, that is not neutral for either of us. A restaurant as well I am unsure about my anger staying in check enough to leave other customers out of our business. That leaves an open area or Margie's condo. When you need them people will usually take the "I don't want to be involved" approach and when you don't need them then they have their cell phone out recording your business and calling 911. So, if she'll allow it, Margie's place will be best. I called Marge and told her what I was thinking. We'd use her living room to talk and have Margie close by in case something got out of hand. I apologized over and over about being presumptuous and abusing our friendship. She was very nice and let me know that it wasn't an imposition, she was friend to both of us and if this was a way to help us as a couple or individuals then she would gladly do it. We disconnected our call and I pulled over to the side of the road and texted Janice once more, 'ill be there tomorrow at 1', and shut my phone down