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There Goes the Neighnorhood

By: StangStar06



Author's note:As usual I'd like to thank mikothebaby for her brilliant work making this story readable.

  * * * * * *

The sun had barely risen as my eyes opened on a day that filled me with dread. There was nothing that could happen today that could hurt me very much, but if things didn't go as I wanted, they might still steal a bit of the icing from my cake.

As I stirred preparing to rise, she too awoke and reached for my arm. She pulled it back onto her breasts and very pregnant tummy.

"Let those bastards wait," she said, snuggling in closer to me. "It really doesn't matter to me one way or another. They don't matter, the law doesn't matter, and society doesn't matter. Only the three of us matter. Only you, me and our baby matter. So hold me for a little while longer. Then we'll go and cast our pearls before the swine." I shrugged my shoulders, a gesture that was lost to the darkness and pulled her closer.

Her reaction was to push her ass even further into my crotch. I licked the top of her left ear as I squeezed her milk filled breasts. She lifted her top leg and pulled my perpetually erect penis into her fiery depths. 

I pulled her into me slowly and unhurriedly savoring the sensation of sliding in and out of her warm wet tunnel. Then I tensed and she turned to look at me.

"I'm gonna cum," I said. "I'd better pull out." Again she looked at me but this time with the hint of a smile on her lips.

"If you're worried that I might get pregnant, it's too late for that now. So you may as well give your baby its first shower," she smirked.

Later on, after a shower together, as we sat down to eat breakfast, she grabbed my hand. "Barry, we really don't have to go," she said thoughtfully. "What we have is enough. It's far more than I ever hoped for and a thousand times better than what I had." I just nodded.

"We may as well try, though," I said. "I'll get the car."

I must be the biggest bastard on the planet, I thought. I was actually happy. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, despite the facts of its parameters.

Let me explain to you what just happened and you'll see what I mean. I'm single, as in divorced. I've just awakened and had breakfast with the pregnant wife of a man who was once my very best friend. He thought of himself that way all the way until I drove off with her about 18 months ago. The baby growing in her belly is, of course, mine. She wasn't pregnant when we left. I also wasn't fully divorced yet then either.

Her husband, Jay, would probably take her back in a heartbeat, even now. I guess having her around, even after us running off together, would be good for Jay since he's a paraplegic and confined to a wheelchair. I guess he kind of loved her and all. He was always telling everyone how beautiful she is. I guess the fool thought that they'd grow old together and all of that shit. It's kind of funny in a way.

That's the thing Aubrey and I are so nervous about. We're going back to visit Jay today to take our medicine and get everything out in the open. I guess it's kind of a closure thing. Jay is the last person we have to face. The families, both hers and mine, have had the past year and a half to come to terms with our relationship. Her parents have come to respect and even love me, though they'd prefer it if we were married. And my parents loved her on sight despite the fact that I'd literally run off with and impregnated a married woman.

I'm sure right now if you're reading my life story or at least this story about this chunk of my life, you already hate me. You're imagining me as some bastard who wants to run off with your wife or if you're already divorced, as the guy who did. In the back of your mind you're imagining unloading your Glock's entire clip into me after catching me having sex with her in your bed. 

In your righteous wrath you're calling me all kinds of motherfuckers aren't you? And if that had been the way that my story played out I'd be right there with you. But before you relegate me to the last circle of hell, why not listen to my story? Why not walk a mile in my shoes before you cast judgment? It can't hurt you and it may actually open your eyes. 

'I guess I should probably start in the middle. My name is Barry Allen. A few years after we got married, my wife Iris and I moved into a nice cul-de-sac neighborhood. You've seen them before, a road leads to a dead end and there are a bunch of houses arranged in kind of a circular court. Ours was very nice. It was a mid-scale neighborhood, but very well maintained by people who obviously cared about their property. And since there were only four houses in the cul-de-sac, everyone knew everyone else.

As a matter of fact, they all came over to meet us the day that we moved in. I guess they wanted to make sure that we fit in. And from the beginning, we did. The four couples involved, became over a couple of years, more like an extended family than just neighbors. There was of course Jay Garrick and his wife Aubrey. Jay was the oldest of the guys. He was the only one of us who was forty or over. He was tall and kind of flabby with a receding hairline, but he was all guy. The gossip in the neighborhood was that Jay was a reformed horn dog who'd met his dream woman and married her after only knowing her for a few days. Jay always told me that no matter how much pussy you'd had, when you met the right one it was always special.

There was Wallace West, who we all called Wally, of course. Wally was short and kind of chunky. He also wore big thick glasses and looked every bit like the accountant that he was. Wally's wife, Deborah, was and I assume still is, a school teacher and a very good one.

The last couple was Bart Allen, no relation, and his wife Kristy. Bart and Kristy were both in sales. They apparently met at a convention. They're also the only ones in the neighborhood with kids so far. They have two kids, a boy and a girl, but the whole neighborhood pretty much adopted those kids and used them for practice in our parenting skills.

We all got along great and were always having get-togethers or parties at one house or another. Everything was perfect until after we'd been there for about a year, I noticed that though Jay was still great, in fact he'd pretty much become my best friend, but his wife Aubrey had become a stone cold bitch.

To Wally and to Bart also, it was an interesting thing to talk about. To Jay it was painful, since it seemed that she was also treating her own husband as badly as she treated the rest of us. As the best friend, I had to listen to him whining and moaning about how their sex life had decayed and how she barely even wanted to speak to him, let alone fuck him. 

For a horn dog like Jay, I think he could've suffered through her not speaking to him, but not getting any pussy was killing him. The four of us guys got together to support Jay over pizza and beer one Sunday as we watched the football game. Football games were always watched at my house because I had a 60 inch 1080p plasma screen TV. 

The worst thing about Aubrey going nuts, as we were calling it, was the fact that Aubrey was without a doubt the hottest wife in the neighborhood. She looked exactly like that Southern Charms girl, Shanna Noelle. She had the same tawny hair falling onto her shoulders. Generous, but not ridiculous breasts that called out for attention on top of a slim waist and legs that were so beautiful that seeing her in shorts or a skirt should be declared a national holiday. Her ass would have to be included on any list of California's greatest natural treasures and if you asked me it would be pretty high up on the list too. Aubrey pretty much made the rest of our wives look bad.

Because of her looks, of course, the rest of the wives were almost happy when she took the train straight into Bitchville. The men on the other hand, as I mentioned had gathered to comfort Jay.

I had proposed that maybe we'd done something at one of the parties to insult her or hurt her feelings. Maybe we'd all laughed too hard at a joke about her. Jay had nixed that idea.

Wally thought that maybe she was going through menopause early or her hormones were out of whack. We all looked at each other, because none of us had any experience in that area, but shit, women were crazy and mysterious even to the men who married them. So it was possible.

Finally it was Bart who said what we'd all really been thinking. As hot as Aubrey was, she was probably fucking someone on the side. Jay loved her even though she was a bitch and his face just fell when Bart suggested it. We all vowed to help him through the crisis in any way we could.

After the summit was over, Jay and I retired to my office. We got on the internet and found a good private detective.

We got weekly reports and videotapes. After two months on the job, the detective quit. He said that as much as he'd loved taking Jay's money, he couldn't in good conscience continue to do it. Jay had paid for round the clock surveillance for two months and Aubrey had never left the house without Jay. She had also never had anyone come over unless Jay was home. She had to be the loneliest woman on the planet.

In the meantime, we read up on menopause and it just seemed like Aubrey at 27 years old was far too young for that. So with our two most promising theories disproved, in our ultimate male wisdom, the four of us just declared Aubrey to simply be a bitch.

I'm sure that Jay was mostly relieved to find out that she wasn't cheating on him. I now know that what Jay should have done from the very beginning was to simply have asked Aubrey what was wrong, but that never occurred to him, or to any of the rest of us for that matter.

Despite the fact that we spent a lot of time together, we all also had our own individual pursuits and hobbies. Wally and Bart loved to bowl and were in a league together. Jay loved to play golf and also liked to go to the horse races.

I had my Mustang. I was always customizing it or washing it, but I loved to run as well. At 26 years old, I was 5'9" and weighed about 170 lbs. I'm in very good shape from all of the runs and workouts. Working out is simply a part of me. I took for granted that everyone didn't do it.

My wife, Iris, on the other hand is almost my polar opposite. Iris is 5' 1" and lies about her height. She tries to convince everyone that she's 5' 4". She does that because if she was 5' 4" her body mass index would be barely outside of being obese. She can handle being overweight, but the term obese is insulting.

I personally didn't care. I fell in love with Iris while we were in college and she was a tad chunky even then. Of course, her size came with benefits. Iris had incredible boobs. They were the biggest softest pillows I'd ever seen and I loved them. I could hardly keep my hands off of them. And her butt was so big and soft and round. Needless to say that Iris and I were always sneaking off somewhere to avoid uhm...public indecency. If you had asked me before any of this got started, I'd have told you, hands down that I much preferred my slightly more than chunky, but warm and caring wife to that ice cold hottie next door.

At that time, there were only two things in the world that I believed in as being infallible. The first was that my Mustang would eat up any car in the neighborhood, including Jay's Camaro. And the second thing was that Iris loved me with all of her heart. Though we'd met under dubious circumstances, I was sure that the past four years of marriage and two years of friendship before that had proven beyond any doubt that we'd always be together.

In fact, Iris was the one who went around telling everyone that only death would separate us and then only until we'd both passed. I wholeheartedly believed her and felt the same way. But since I'm here telling you this story, obviously we were both wrong.

It was a typical fall Sunday when it all went to hell. Sundays are the day for my long run. That morning I'd told Iris that I was going to run a twenty miler, which wasn't unusual for me when getting ready for a fall marathon. Unfortunately I just didn't have twenty miles in me that morning so I decided to pack it in after only ten.

As I ran back down our street and neared my house I saw Aubrey in her yard next door. I waved at her and as expected, she pretended she didn't see me. I was sure that she had and was simply being a bitch as usual. I felt sorry for Jay and I wondered again how a guy as nice as Jay, could end up with a woman that evil. I always tried to be as nice to her as I could hoping that one day she'd snap out of it and be the woman she was when we first moved here.

I ran up near my house and noticed that I could see into my living room when I stepped up on the porch. Iris was always telling me to close the draperies and I guess when I checked the weather before I went out to run, I'd left them open again. 

It wouldn't have made any difference. They were so busy that they wouldn't have noticed me anyway. Iris was bent over the back of my couch while my best friend Jay, nice guy that he was, fucked her from behind. Those amazing boobs that I'd thought were all mine were being fondled by Wally as Iris sucked him off.

Bart was beating his meat while he waited for his turn. They moved like a well-oiled machine. Jay pulled out and Iris stood up for a second while Bart took the cushions off of our sofa and laid them on the coffee table. Iris laid down flat on her back and spread her legs. Wally jumped between them and thrust his dick deep inside her in one shove. 

I could hear Iris screaming, "Yeah baby! Fuck me," from outside of the house.

I was having trouble believing what I was watching. Then I heard the acidic voice from behind me. "You're even worse than the rest of them. You're getting off watching them fuck that whore," said Aubrey from behind me. "What kind of pervert are you? Why not go in there and join the rest of the perverts?"

I turned to look at her, not knowing what I was going to say. Apparently no words were necessary. "Oh my god," shesaid incredulously. "You didn't know did you?" 

She grabbed my hand and tried to stop me from going into the house. "I'm so sorry Barry," she said. "I thought you all knew and were in on it. I mean how was I supposed to know? Bart is in there and so is Wally. I also know that Kristy knows about this because she and Bart are swingers. I just assumed that you, being that asshole's best friend and the husband of the whore, knew about it too. It makes sense if you think about it. I thought that maybe you were all swingers."

"I have to get out of here," I said. I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Without a word I started walking towards my garage. I pulled my key fob from the pocket of my track suit. Pushing the button to open my garage door, I noticed that Aubrey was keeping pace with me.

I remembered that I kept an emergency set of my car keys in the garage in the drawer of my tool chest. I retrieved the keys and started my car. The sound of eight thumping pistons was drowned out by the beating of my heart. I needed to put as much distance as I could between me and my house before I killed someone.

I just wanted to drive. I didn't have a destination in mind, I just needed to drive. I backed the car down my driveway with my anger closing my eyes until they were barely slits. 

The Mustang's engine was so loud that I almost didn't see my house's side door opening as I passed it. The only thing I did see was all of that tawny hair flipping around as Aubrey raised her hands as if she was praying or begging and stared at me through the window. 

She'd been nothing but a bitch to everyone in the neighborhood for over a year. But now it seemed to make sense. I pressed the button to unlock the door for her and as soon as she was in the car we were moving.

As we cleared the driveway, I saw Iris come out of the house in a hastily donned robe that flapped open. She looked straight at me and knew that I'd seen her. I shifted from reverse into a forward gear and drove away.

For the first few moments thankfully, neither Aubrey nor I said a word. Then she broke the silence diplomatically. "If you don't slow down, the only place we're going is jail," she said.

I backed off on the gas but still didn't say a word. "I'm so sorry Barry," she said. "I really thought that you knew."

"You already said that," I said. "But I'm confused. If you knew this was going on, why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"I covered that too," she snapped. "I thought you knew and were in on it."

"I guess you don't remember me very well from when we used to be friends," I snapped. "But I love my wife. There's no way I'd ever share her with anyone."

"Too bad she doesn't see it that way," she smirked. Then realizing that what she'd said might hurt me, she changed her tone and her delivery.

"Barry, I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did," she said. "I remember that you used to be a really nice guy. Maybe I should have remembered that and at least taken the chance. But when I first found out about all of this I was as shocked and hurt as you're feeling now. I loved Jay with all my heart. I couldn't believe that he'd do that to me. Especially after all the things he said and all of the promises he made me," Out of the corner of my eye I could see that she was upset and on the verge of tears too.

My stomach started growling, I'd run too far not to put something into it. My legs were beginning to stiffen up too. I left the freeway and started looking for a place to eat. I spotted an IHOP sign and headed there. I got big breakfast specials and coffee for both of us. We got them to carry out and I drove us to a park that I'd seen earlier. We sat down at a table overlooking a play-scape. Several small children were hanging or sliding or swinging on it and their carefree laughter permeated the air.

The sounds of their happiness and their antics as they tried to impress their mothers brought a joyful atmosphere to the area. Only Aubrey and I were unmoved by their happiness.

"That's what I wanted," said Aubrey, nodding at the mothers and their kids. "That's my dream life. I should be almost there by now. I've got the house. All I need is the man who loves me and the baby. I thought I had that," she said.

"That's all I've wanted since I was a little girl," she said sadly.

"I wanted to go to the Olympics," I said. "My timing was off and after I met Iris, I guess my priorities changed."

She just looked at me and for the first time in over a year I saw her smile. "What event did you compete in?" she asked.

"Track and field," I said. "I'm a long distance runner now, but a few years ago in college I ran the 5K and 10K."

"You still seem to be in pretty good shape," she said. "That's one of the things I've always admired about you. You're still young enough to make a go of it."

"I have a life now," I said softly. "And I've gotten far too soft to dedicate my life to training that hard. Plus there are certain creature comforts that I simply can't do without. There's also the practical side of things. No one even remembers any American track athletes. While the Olympics are going on we pay attention to track, but as soon as the medals are handed out we don't give the sport another thought for four years until the next one comes along."

"Then of course there's the steroid thing," I said. She laughed at that, but I couldn't figure out why.

"So here we are two little lambs who've both given up our dreams and still have the ones who supposedly loved us most turn out to be cheating assholes," she laughed.

"At least you can laugh," I said. "This is the worst day of my fucking life."

"Sorry, but it's a good one for me," she said. "I know it's bad for you, but at least I have a friend now. I finally have someone I can talk about this with. For the past year or so, I've had to hold all of this in. I had literally no one I could talk to."


There Goes the Neighnorhood



"So that's why you became..." I began.

"A bitch," she finished for me. "Yep that's why."

"But why didn't you divorce him or leave him?" I asked.

"And do what or go where?" she asked.

"Anywhere you wanted," I said. "You're beautiful. You could do anything you want in life. And you're still only what...27 years old? You can do anything you set your mind to."

"Barry," she said quietly. "Everyone isn't the same. I had already done what I set my mind to and apparently I failed miserably. Life isn't all about looks and not everyone wants the same things. I don't have the drive that you do. I told you before. All I wanted was to be someone's wife and someone's mother. When I met Jay, I was a twenty-two year old waitress from a small town and with limited options. I knew that Jay was a player, I'd met lots of men like him who passed through town."

"I didn't fall for any of their lines, because I knew what I wanted out of life. I also knew what I didn't want. I didn't want to be another notch on some guy's gun-belt. I wanted a man who was going to commit to me and us. I wanted someone who would love me and only me. And I wanted to build a life and a family with that same man. I thought that Jay was him. I made him wait for a long time and promise to marry me before anything got started. We didn't even have sex until our wedding night and it was the first time I went all the way. My life started out so God damned good." She paused and started eating her bacon. I loved watching her mouth move and the dainty bites she took.

"Then you guys moved in," she said. "At first everything was great, we all got along and everything was going well. I'd told Jay in no uncertain terms that it was time for me to have a baby, or four. I'd started asking Kristy about it and she told me to be careful what I wished for, because having one changed your life. I left that conversation thinking she was the most selfish bitch in the universe."

"I went home and on the way there, I saw Jay go into your house. He looked around as if he was trying to make sure that no one saw him, and then he went in. I wondered what was going on. I thought that maybe you guys were planning another one of your stupid pranks. So I quietly followed him. When I looked inside your house, I saw your wife down on her knees putting her mouth on his...well you know." She shook her head and I saw tears in the corners of her eyes again.

"I had tried doing that for Jay, but apparently, I'm not very good at it," she said. "And the things that she lets him do, like sticking it in her...other hole. Barry, I loved that man so much. There is nothing that I wouldn't have done for him. But he never even gave me the chance. Some of the things they do are pretty disgusting. Did you know that she lets him pee on her?"

"Uhm, no," I said.

"Do you pee on her too?" she asked curiously.

"No, I'm just not into that," I said. "I guess I'm kind of old fashioned but that just doesn't seem sexy to me at all."

"So I'm not alone," she said. "But as crazy as it sounds, I'd have let him do that to me too, if he'd ever just asked. I guess there's also the fact that she just lets him slam it into her and just screams for more. Even when they take her two at a time she's asking for more. Sometimes they all get really excited and all three of them just shoot their stuff all over her and she licks it up. And they hit her and rub their things all over her face. It's just nasty. Maybe I'm old fashioned too."

"Anyway, once I saw that, I knew that Jay had lied to me. He promised me that his days of being a cheater were over when he met me and we'd settle down and have a nice life together. The first few days I was really hurt. Then I just decided to hurt him back. I stopped having sex with him then. But I guess I hurt myself more than I hurt him because he's still got your wife and they've gotten even more disgusting since then. All I got was madder and even more alone."

"I guess I'm just a stupid country girl," she said. "Because when I looked into Jay's eyes, I really believed that he loved me and that he meant all the things he told me. I really believed that I was enough for him." I squeezed her hand that had somehow entwined its thin fingers with mine.

"I guess we should just have a club for suckers then," I said. "My situation is remarkably similar to yours. I met Iris in college. I was on the track team and as I said, I was working towards the Olympics. I tried everything I could to get better. I even tried training with some of the other athletes. I figured that cross training with football players and sprinters would be a good thing. I'd gain some of their explosive power and speed and they'd gain some of my endurance. It actually did work and I also gained a few friends who were far more popular than I was."

"I was at the dorm of one of my training buddies when I met Iris. They always had all kinds of girls hanging out with them. Some of them were beautiful. They were the kinds of girls that normal guys just don't get a shot at. There were also some skanks there too. I really couldn't figure out then what a girl like Iris was doing there. It turned out that she was there to tutor a couple of the football players. We struck up a conversation and I found her to be a really nice girl. Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to believe that she was some untouched virgin, but I liked her."

"One of my buddies warned me about her, though. He told me to go and find myself a nice girl because Iris wasn't for me. He said that she'd started out as a tutor but she was as bad as the rest of the women there. And since she was a bigger girl, and not quite as pretty as some were, she had to do a lot more in order to get any of the guys to pay her any attention. He wasn't trying to hurt me, but as my friend he thought that I should know."

"I took his advice and never called Iris. I did date several nice girls for a year or so. They were just that, nice girls. Most of them were more popular than Iris. Most of them were also prettier. All of them were slimmer than she was, but not one of them made me feel the way that she had."

"I ran into her again the year I was going to graduate. I was studying in the library and she was working there. She came over to my table and re-introduced herself. I told her that she didn't need to do that or remind me of where we'd met, because I remembered her very well. She seemed to be shocked about that. I told her that I could probably recite most of the conversation we'd had that night and she was even more shocked when I did."

"We sat there talking in the library until it closed and then we went for coffee. She gave me her phone number again and told me not to wait another year before she saw me again. I was really torn because on one hand, she was a really special woman, but on the other I'd been warned. I called her the next evening and we stayed on the phone for over an hour. Finally she just asked me out. I think that my hesitation, told her something."

"She asked me flat out if I liked her and I told her without hesitating that I really did. She said that she'd actually believed that we had a spark between us. I told her that I felt it too. She told me that she was actually nearly starving herself to lose weight and I asked her why. She said that most of the guys she knew didn't really want to date bigger girls, but if I gave her a chance she'd get smaller because she really thought we had something. I started laughing and she hung up the phone on me."

"I called her right back and she hung up on me again. She turned off her phone so I left her twenty messages. The next night I went to the library and sat right in front of her counter. I told her that I wouldn't leave until we talked. She was really angry and I could tell she was just hurt. But she told me that she got a break at nine o'clock so come back then. When we spoke on her break she told me that I had five minutes because she didn't want to waste her entire break on me. I could say whatever I needed to tell her but after that I had to promise to leave her alone. I agreed and she said go ahead and give me your, "I'm a nice guy but I don't date fat girls speech."

"Then I started laughing at her again. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes so I grabbed her hand and told her that I thought that she was beautiful and really sexy just as she was. And she didn't need to lose a pound for me. When she heard that she just moved on down her list of reasons why other guys hadn't wanted to date her. I told her none of them were true either."

"She offered to just date me on the sly. We could always stay in at my dorm or hers and make sure no one saw us together. I asked her why the hell we should do that. She told me that it was so I wouldn't have to worry about having anyone see me with a fat girl. Even if I didn't mind her weight, I was probably worried that some of my friends might see us together. I just shook my head."

"Finally, I told her what my friend had warned me about. I explained to her that I was just looking for someone nice to call my own. I wasn't interested in someone who hung out with the football team or any of that. We had a long talk and she explained to me that she really wasn't into that. The problem was that she was a healthy girl with a healthy sex drive and she had to take what she could get. Most of the guys weren't like me. Her size was a big turn off for them. A lot of the ones who did like her, just fucked her and took her money or used her in other ways, but a shitty sex life was better than no sex life."

"She also told me that she'd much rather be in an exclusive relationship with one guy, but she hadn't had anyone who wanted to take her up on her offer, so she took what she could get."

"So we started dating and after we graduated we did all of the normal things. We met each other's family. We got engaged. We moved in together and we got married. Finally, we moved into the neighborhood and met the rest of you."

"So what happens now" she asked me. "I mean in my case, I enjoy torturing Jay but I have no idea of what to do next. I guess that I was hoping that he'd come to see what he was doing was wrong and it was ruining our marriage. But with your wife available, he only needs me to cook and clean for him. He basically has the cheapest maid service in town."

"I haven't decided exactly what to do yet Aubrey," I said. "I need to think about it. I'm sorry but I'm a guy and in a case like this, there has to be some kind of revenge. I can't take this lying down and just let it happen, but I need to think about what I want to do. Just running up and punching Jay in the mouth might satisfy me for a minute or two but it isn't something that would make me happy long term."

"The same goes for the rest of them. They've basically destroyed a big part of my life. I wish I'd never moved into this fucking neighborhood," I said. She nodded.

"But at least we don't have to go through this alone," she said.

We got back into my Mustang and started the trip back home.

Despite what I'd been through, I couldn't help noticing that it was a really nice day. The weather was sunny with just a bit of the fall's bite in the air. After having a chance to vent with Aubrey, I felt a bit better. I still hurt like hell, but the edge was off of my rage. There was no longer the danger of me taking a baseball bat to Jay or any of the others. I'd also begun thinking of what I wanted to do.

As we drove back down the street, it seemed as if every eye was on us. Bart and Kristy were sitting on their porch and they began animatedly talking as we drove past. Wally and Deborah watched us too. Deb waved at us and Wally looked away. He started walking towards my house as we passed. When we got in front of my house, I saw Jay waiting on my front porch. I drove up the driveway and into the garage. Jay followed my car into the back. I got out and so did Aubrey. Iris came out of the back door just as the garage door closed. Aubrey hugged me hard and whispered into my ear that she'd see me later.

Jay's eyes narrowed and the set of his lips got a bit firmer as he saw the hug. I also noticed Wally heading up my driveway. "Barry," said Iris sadly. I ignored her and turned to Jay. Some of the rage I'd swallowed had bubbled its way back to the surface.

"Barry, I...I'm sorry buddy," he began. "We need to talk about this like adults and figure out how I can make amends for..." That was all he got out before my fist slammed into his mouth.

Jay went down like a bowling pin. He stayed there for a second and got up. He was shaky on his feet and bleeding from his mouth. Wally was shocked and Iris stood in the driveway holding her hand over her mouth.

"Barry," said Jay. "I hope that made you feel better. I guess I deserved that. We all do, but we need to talk about this." I turned back towards him. "I wasn't the only one, you know." He put his hands up like we were boxing or something. 

I swung as if I was going to send a slow looping punch towards Jay's head. He raised his guard up and I dropped to one knee and punched him in the stomach as hard as I could. He folded up again and lay on the ground heaving as if he was going to throw up.

Iris followed me and so did Wally. I noticed that they left Jay on the ground. Just as I made it to the front porch, I heard Aubrey yelling over the fence to Jay who was still on the ground. "Jay, are we out of tanning oil?"

"Barry, please don't tell Deborah," whined Wally. I moved right past him and into my house. I went into my den and turned on my television. I found one of the endless NFL pre-game shows and though my eyes were on the screen, I wasn't watching. My mind was still focusing on my plan to get back at my neighbors.

I heard the door open and Iris stepped into the room. "Barry honey, we need to talk about what happened," she said. 

"Iris, I'm not in the mood for you or any of this shit right now," I snapped. "Get the fuck out of this room before I hurt you."

"Barry, you hiding in here won't solve the problem," she said. "This may not..." she stopped in mid-sentence as I looked at her and left.

Thirty minutes later the door-bell rang. Iris answered it and someone knocked on my door. I didn't answer it. A few minutes later Bart walked in carrying a pizza. "Where are the guys?" he asked. "It's almost time for the kick off."

"Bart, if you don't get the fuck out of here I'm going to kick your ass off of your body," I snapped.

"Barry, we were wrong," he said. "We should have spoken to you about this a long time ago. It meant nothing to me. Our friendship means a lot more. So to even things up, I've arranged for you to have some time with Kristy. I'm not sure you know this, but Kristy and I have an open marriage and she likes you. That way, things are even between us."

"Bart, you have three seconds to get out of my house," I said. "I don't want you or your wife to ever come near me again."

"Oh, I see you've already picked someone else anyway," he said. "Good choice."

I looked behind me to see what he was babbling about and saw Aubrey standing in the doorway with a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

"I came to watch football with you," she said smiling. "Jay's in our bathroom trying to ice his lip and find something to soothe his stomach." She giggled a bit as she said it.

Bart looked at her as he went past. He smiled at her as if he was going to say something, but her icy glance froze him in his tracks.

She sat down on the couch near me with the plate of cookies between us. As the game started, I asked her what she wanted to drink.

"Milk please," she smiled. "It goes great with the cookies."

"But beer goes with football," I whined. 

"Okay, then bring yourself one while you bring my milk," she laughed.

When I came back into the room, Iris was there again. She was saying something to Aubrey, who was ignoring her. 

"No one has any points yet," said Aubrey as I sat down. "Which one is our team?"

"The guys in the blue and silver are our guys, the Detroit Lions," I said. 

"Barry, we live in California. Aren't there any teams from California?" she asked. 

"Well, there are the 49ers and the Raiders," I said.

"So why are the Lions our team," she asked. 

"Who are they playing?" asked Iris. I ignored her and turned to Aubrey.

"I went to the University of Michigan to get my degree. I kind of got into the Lions when they were awful. They're on their way up now for the first time in over twenty years. I've stuck with them for as long as I can remember." I looked straight at Iris and said, "Loyalty is really important to me."

"I like their uniforms," said Aubrey.

"Who are they playing?" asked Iris again.

"They can't be playing me," I snapped. "Because you've already done that; you've been playing me for a fool for a long time now."

"But..." began Iris.

"Why are you here anyway?" I snapped. "I just want to watch the fucking football game in peace, get out."

"But she's..." began Iris again.

"My friend," I interrupted. "And she's invited. Get out."

For the next three and a half hours Aubrey and I sat on my couch with our feet up and watched the game. The Lions rolled over the Cowboys and Aubrey and I had a good time. When the game was over, before the post-game scoreboard show could even begin, Aubrey grabbed the remote and said, "My turn."

She went into the On Demand menu and found a movie. Surprisingly it was one I hadn't seen. And even more surprisingly it was a good movie. A relatively new Nicolas Cage movie called "Drive angry."

It was a crazy movie but very action filled and pretty good. We were running out of cookies and our drinks were gone. I went and got refills for both Aubrey and me. While I was on my way to the kitchen, I noticed that Iris and all of her co-conspirators were gathered in the living room.

"Barry," said Iris softly. 

"What?" I snapped. "Are you guys going to start fucking again? Well don't worry, we'll turn the surround sound on and turn up the volume. You can just turn on a fan to get rid of the smell."

"Barry, your friends and I would like to speak to you when the game is over," said Iris softly.

"The game is already over. I'm watching a movie with the only friend I have and if you don't get your lovers out of my house, I'll shoot them all as soon as our movie is over. Besides shouldn't you be upstairs moving all of your shit into another bedroom?"

"Barry, don't you think we should talk about this?" asked Wally. "We all know that this was a really big mistake, but we've all been friends for so long. It just seems wrong to mess that up over one incident."

"You guys have been at it a lot longer than one incident asshole," I said. 

"I already tried to make it up to you," said Bart. 

"Bart, Kristy, isn't anywhere near attractive to me. She has no ass and no chest. Her lips are so tightly pinched together that I can't imagine her getting them around my dick. No thanks. Get out," I said.

Wally chimed right back in. "Barry we can work this out," said Wally. "I'll give you anything you want."

"None of you have anything I want. The only thing I ever wanted from any of you bastards was your friendship," They all looked down.

"Barry, a lot of the blame for this goes to Iris," said Jay. "You know how my sex life has been in the shitter for over a year. I couldn't help it. You know how I am. And Aubrey is just a bitch."

"She seems to be getting along pretty well with Barry lately," said Wally. "Maybe..."

"Unh uh," snapped Jay angrily. "Aubrey is not on the menu. My wife isn't a whore. If she dropped her panties half as quickly as Iris does, I wouldn't be doing this."

Iris angrily looked at Jay. "I'm not a whore either," she said.

"I'm not going to say this again," I said. "You three get out of my house. You're not welcome here anymore. After the divorce if Iris ends up with the house, you can come back, but until then get out."




There Goes the Neighnorhood



"Barry, we aren't getting a divorce," said Iris. 

"Iris, just get your shit out of my room," I snapped.

"Barry, we need to talk about this," she said. "We need to calmly look at the situation and discuss where we go from here. I don't think we need to even begin discussing a divorce until we've exhausted all of our other options. I know that I was wrong, but one mistake doesn't..."

I went back into the room and sat down on the couch next to Aubrey.

"Jay still loves you," I told her. "He was very quick to defend you. Maybe you can still have your dream after all."

"Iris still loves you," she replied. "When you went to get my milk she told me to stay the fuck away from you, or else. So if our spouses both still claim to love us maybe we can both get what we wanted. I don't know about you Barry, but I've had a year plus to think about this. I think that in his own way Jay does love me. The problem is that if he can cheat on me so casually and for so long a period in time, that he doesn't love me the way I want to be loved. So in the words of Van Halen, I need to, "dream another dream, this dream is over."

"Same here," I said. "I need to really talk to a good crooked lawyer to find out how I can get out of this marriage with both my dignity and most of my assets intact. Normally I believe in the 50/50 split but she destroyed our marriage all alone. There has to be a penalty for that."

"We think a lot alike," she smirked.

"You like Van Halen?" I asked. We both smiled. We got up after the movie ended so I could walk her home. On her porch in front of Jay, Wally and Bart she gave me another one of those hugs. 

"Stay the hell away from my wife," hissed Jay as I passed him. "What I did was wrong, but your fat assed wife came on to me. Barry, you have to understand. I've been doing without for a year. I had an entire fucking year without sex, man. So when I saw Iris..."

"Jay," I snapped turning to face him. He shrank back as he remembered the ass kicking I'd just given him.

"First if as you say, Iris came on to you and that made it right, then the same can be said for me. Aubrey is lonely. She deserves a friend, so I intend to give her one. Secondly, you really fucked up and this is all your own fault. You, Jay, fucked up everything for everyone because you started all of this. Aubrey stopped having sex with you because she saw you with Iris, not the other way around. She's known about you all from the beginning. If you hadn't stuck your dick in my wife, we'd all be friends still. You basically just traded your wife for mine."

He looked down.

"He was the one who dragged me into this," said Wally.

"But it didn't look like you were offering much resistance, from what I saw," I snapped. "And Wally, sooner or later, we're going to bring Deb into this. So you may as well start kissing her ass now, because I'm pretty sure she's going to divorce your ass when she finds out."

"So that's the deal?" asked Jay. "You want to swap wives. Because there is no way that I'd ever go for that. It isn't a fair trade. Aubrey is the most beautiful woman I know. There's no way this is fair, I'd never go for it."

"Guess what dumb ass," I said loudly. "Until I caught you guys, I felt the same way. If you'd just come out and said Barry, want to trade, I'd have laughed at you. Until this morning, I loved my wife more than anyone else in the world. There's no way I'd ever have agreed to share her or trade her. But we can't always have what we want. You fucked up my marriage, it's only right that you get hurt a bit too."

"You guys are talking like something out of the stone-age," said Bart. "Kristy and I fuck other people all the time and we're still together. This was just an experiment to find out whether or not you guys would like it. Now we know that you aren't willing to do it. So you guys patch things up with your spouses, then we patch up our friendship and we put all of this behind us, Okay?"

"No-Kay, Bart," I said. "You and Kristy don't really have what I'd consider a marriage. What you have is more like you're business partners or maybe roommates. When we have barbecues the two of you don't hug each other or kiss each other. You don't even talk about each other. You just share a house and occasionally fuck when neither of you can find someone else. Your marriage is pathetic. I really can't believe that you offered her up to me earlier today to save our friendship or your ass. I mean think about it. It's like you were pimping her out so I wouldn't be angry at you. Apparently I'm more important to you than your own wife. That's more than a little fucked up. Until this morning you guys were as close to me as brothers, but all of you together weren't nearly as important to me as Iris was. I lost the four most important people in my life all at once."

"But..." began Jay.

"No more buts," I said. "You guys wanted to talk. We've spoken. From now on don't ever speak to me again. You cost me my wife and my marriage, there's no forgiveness for that. So from now on you'll have to use someone else's house when you fuck her, because if I see any on you near my house, I'll shoot first and ask questions later." As I turned back to the house, I saw that Iris had been listening.

As soon as I walked into the house, Iris followed me. She had tears in her eyes. "Barry, you gave them their chance to talk, I'd like mine," she said.

I sat down on the stairs and looked at her. "I guess it's better now than after we get the lawyers involved," I said.

"Barry, I'm not going to make any excuses for what I did," she said. "I was stupid. I was wrong and to be truthful, I never expected you to catch me or find out. It was only sex and it was only in fun. You knew what kind of woman I was when we started dating. Maybe I downplayed it a little bit to try to convince you otherwise but you knew that I was a slut. I didn't start out to be that way, it was just what circumstances turned me into."

"We've been together for 6 years now and married for 4. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this. Can't I please have one more chance? I promise you nothing like this will ever happen again."

"Barry, you've always been free to choose whoever you wanted and go after them. For most of my life I've always been the fat girl. I had to put out just to get noticed, and even then I never got noticed the way I wanted to. So yeah, when you met me, and your friend warned you about me, he was telling you the truth. I hung out around the football player's dorms and a lot of those guys just fucked me whenever they felt like it. Most of the time they'd fuck me and then they could go out and act like gentlemen around the women they really wanted. Or if they came home after going out and not getting any, I was there. Sometimes I was there for two or three of them at a time."

"It wasn't what I wanted. No girl that I know ever grows up dreaming about being a slut. Men make us that way. We all start out wanting the fantasy, but most of us fall short. Even doing the things I did, I was still special. I was still a good girl in my head. Then you came around and made me want to be that good girl for real again."

"Barry, you made me quit doing all of that. You are everything I've ever wanted and more. You've always made me feel so special. I've always known how much you love me and you just keep bringing it home. What you just said to them about not trading me for Aubrey or for all of them made me realize again just how much you do love me and how much I stand to lose."

"For a while, before we moved here, it was you and me against the world. There was no one for me to compare myself to on a regular basis. Then we moved here and became a part of the neighborhood. Here there are only four couples to scrutinize. Barry, you're the hottest one of the husbands but I'm far from the hottest of the wives. I'm not even second or third. I was back to being the fat one. When we had barbecues or parties it didn't matter what I wore or how much I fixed myself up, I was always the least attractive. And I wanted to be looked at too. Jay is a fucking liar and a horn dog. He'll fuck anything that holds still long enough to get his dick in it. He started flirting with me a long time ago. All he really wanted was to get his hands on my tits. So I played it up. I started flirting back and letting him have glimpses of them."

"I know I shouldn't have done it, but God damn it Barry, I'm human. I want to be wanted too. Finally, I had something that not even his cheerleader Barbie wife has and he was dying for them. The next thing I knew he came over one day while you were out and was feeling me up through my clothes. Maybe he got me a little bit drunker than I should have allowed but the next thing I knew, we were fucking. A few days after that, Aubrey stopped talking to me and to him too. Wally and Bart got involved somehow and then they all started just using me to do things that they'd heard about but never done."

"For me it was like being back in my college days. Only this time I had the best of both worlds. On one hand I had you to love me and compliment me and just make me feel loved and cared for. On the other hand, it was like I never had to give up all of the wild fucking I used to get in college. Until this started happening, I guess I'd really thought that I couldn't have both. And when I thought I couldn't have both I chose you. Always remember that Barry, I chose you. But the last year has taught me that, like Bart and Kristy say, there's no reason why I can't have both."

"Until this morning you loved me and thought I was special. The way you look at me now hurts me more than anything. You're looking at me like I'm a piece of shit. I didn't do anything today that I haven't been doing for a long time. The only thing different is the way you're thinking about me and it hurts."

"I'd really like for you to consider this for a while. I'll always put you first. But I like being needed and in a way I like being fucked and humiliated. But again, our marriage will always come first. This is however something I'd like to explore. Maybe you could even join in. But Barry, if you say no I'll stop immediately. I don't want a divorce. I want us to be together forever. I want us to grow old and take visits to see our grandkids and all of those other corny things."

"I don't give a fuck what you want anymore, Iris," I said. "Right now, I can barely stand to look at you. I'm tempted to slap the shit out of you while you're standing there. I'm not even seeing you as a woman, let alone my wife. Women don't have balls as big as yours. To even stand there and ask me if you can continue to fuck all of our neighbors takes elephant balls. But to answer your question, just do whatever the fuck you want to. There's no saving our marriage. I'm not giving you permission to do it, but you're a grown woman, you don't require my permission. I, however, will not ever stick any part of my anatomy into that festering swamp you call a vagina, ever again."

"Barry, you don't mean that," she said. "I'll stop, I swear it. I'll set up an appointment with a marriage counselor. Please Barry, give me one more chance?"

It was brilliant. The whole counseling thing would give me time to put my plan into action. "Okay," I said. "Maybe counseling could help us."

"I'll start moving my stuff back into our room," she smiled.

"No," I said a bit harsher than I'd intended. "Maybe, if we get past all of this. But not until."

"Barry, that could take weeks, maybe even months," she whined.

"So fucking what," I snapped. "It also might not work at all. I'm not making you any fucking promises. We might still end up divorced but YOU brought this down on us. You had a choice between being the wife that I loved and adored or just being some fat slut. In my opinion you picked the wrong one. And listening to the way your lovers talked about you, are you sure it was worth it?" 

"But Barry, can't we just sleep together. We don't have to have sex, I just need to be near you," she whined.

"But I can't stand to be near YOU," I said. 

The next morning I woke and noticed right away that I was alone in my bed. At first I missed having Iris near me, and the sadness was nearly overwhelming until I reminded myself of why I was alone. My mind flashed back to the memory of her bent over my couch urging Jay to fuck her and my anger returned.

I dressed and went downstairs into the kitchen. Iris was there making breakfast. She had on one of my favorite nighties and had somehow forgotten to fasten the front. Her boobs swung free and unfettered as she cooked. 

She turned as if she hadn't noticed me coming into the kitchen. Inwardly I laughed. Her actions and her motivations were crystal clear. I wondered when she'd become so manipulative. Apparently she just wasn't that wonderful, guileless woman I'd fallen in love with anymore. Maybe that wasn't it at all. Maybe she'd always been like this and I'd simply been too blind to see it. I laughed again, this time out loud. Only this time I was laughing at me.

"What's so funny, Honey," she smiled. "Is it something I did, or maybe something you saw?"

"It's nothing you did," I said. "And I've been trying really hard not to look at things after what I saw yesterday." She winced at my words, but tried again undaunted.

I grabbed an apple from the counter and she looked at me suspiciously. "So are you going to tell me what you were laughing at?" she asked. "I could use a good laugh too."

"I was just thinking that if you'd come downstairs dressed like that last week, I probably never would have made it to work," I said. She smiled hearing that part.

"That's not so funny," she said. "I think it's very nice."

"The funny part is you thinking I'd fall for it now," I laughed. I picked up my briefcase and headed for the door.

"Don't you want breakfast?" she asked. "I thought maybe we could talk."

"I don't have an appetite," I said. 

"Well you're early, can we talk anyway?" she asked.

"I think we pretty much said everything I can stomach talking about yesterday," I said.

"But I had a lot of time to think last night," she said. "And I've changed my mind about some things." As she said this she stood directly in front of me exposing nearly a foot of deep cleavage. I smiled and stepped around her.

"Barry, we can't get past this if we can't talk," she said.

"I'm not sure I even want to get past this," I said. "I'm sorry if I'm not acting the way the version of me in your head did when you thought about this, but I'm a real person. I have my own needs and feelings and I have to act that way. So maybe you should stop trying to predict the way I'll act. I'm not going to be as easy to manipulate anymore."

"Barry, I don't want to manipulate you, I just want to make up for what I did. I just want us to talk about this. You won't get over it until we get past the hurt. We've always been able to talk about everything. Besides being married, we were best friends. Last night was the worst night of my life. I'm beginning to understand how badly I've hurt you with my dishonesty. I want to make it up to you, so we can move forward with our lives," she said.

I put my brief case and my apple down and turned to her. Then I started clapping my hands. "Great speech," I said. "You must've rehearsed it for hours. But Iris, this isn't just something you get over. There's no clock ticking in the background. It may take me weeks before I even want to see you again. It may take months before I can sit down and talk to you without feeling like I want to throw up. Or I might simply come home tonight and put a stack of divorce papers in your hands, I don't know."

"From what you said yesterday, just spreading your legs and fucking a roomful of guys was something you got used to back in college. I guess I thought that what we did was much more special than that. I really thought that there was something magic between us. Now I can see that I'm just another name on your list. Maybe I'm the one who pays for it all, but in the end I'm just another one of your lovers. And I'm the stupidest one, because not only am I the only one who didn't realize that it was only sex, I'm the only one who was dumb enough to love you and think that you were something special."

"But..." she started.

"But nothing, Iris," I said. "You ripped my heart out. Now I have to learn to look at everything I thought I knew all over again. It's a whole new world out there for me, Iris. I have to re-evaluate everything I see and do. I'm like a baby starting all over again from square one. And trust me there are going to be a lot of changes.

"But Barry, I already told you..." she began again.

"Iris, you no longer have the right to tell me shit," I snapped. My tone was becoming angrier the longer we spoke.

"Barry, nothing is different," she said softly. "I still love you with all my heart. I just slipped Barry. I'm a human being. I didn't do anything criminal, I just violated the rules that we live by. I was also dishonest with you in doing so. It's just like your God damned football games. One team violates the rules of the game so they get a penalty. They move the ball back half the distance to the goal and try again. A few plays later it's forgotten. The main thing that both teams want is still the same. They both want to win the fucking game."

I love you Barry. I LOVE you. And you're hurt right now but you love me too. It would be stupid for us to throw away everything we've built for one violation of the rules. Give me a penalty so we can get over this. Nothing is different. We're still the same people. There's nothing we can't get past."

"Another great and impassioned speech," I said. "This time you even managed to use football. But again, you're wrong Iris. I see EVERYTHING differently now. My job is different Iris. I'm about to go to the same fucking building and do the same fucking things, Iris. But it's different, because in the past I went there and busted my ass so I could get ahead and make a living for US. So you'd have nice things and be able to do what we wanted. But I'm just not sure that's important anymore so why should I bust my ass. And if I do bust my ass, why the fuck should it be for you?" I stared at her and she almost stepped back.

"I have to look at everything all over again, Iris. Ever since I left college, every single thing I see has been viewed with how it fit into our life as the measuring stick. Everything related to US, Iris. But if there's no US, then everything has to be re-evaluated. Everything is different, Iris. You're a different person than I thought you were. It's like MY Iris died and left you in her place. And I'm not sure I want you." Iris staggered over to the table and sat down heavily.

"This ISN'T just a violation of the rules in some cosmic football game, Iris. What you did wasn't a violation or an infraction. It was a devaluation, maybe even an invalidation, but not of the rules of some game Iris, of our marriage. What you've been doing totally invalidated our marriage. The reasons we got married simply weren't what I thought they were. Maybe they never were. So that leaves the question, why are we married?" Iris dropped her head to the table.

"Iris, you've tried to be mature and adult about this whole thing. I commend you for that. But you've said several times that you didn't actually do anything wrong. It's like you think that the only bad thing here was that you didn't clear it with me before you went out and started fucking our neighbors. I totally agree with you that a woman has the right to do anything she wants with her body, but when we got married we both agreed to follow certain rules. I think the preacher was calling them VOWS. If you didn't believe in them, why'd you agree to them? Find us a therapist fast Iris, if you don't we may not need one."




There Goes the Neighnorhood



I picked up my briefcase and left.

Work was uneventful. I did go through my files and find the number of a lawyer I'd dealt with who represented one of the richest businessmen in our state. He'd been in the newspapers a few weeks ago because one of his business deals had fallen through. He'd tried to build a shopping mall adjacent to a nice suburban neighborhood and had been nearly tarred and feathered by neighborhood groups, environmentalists and small business groups. I had an idea. I asked the lawyer to put me in contact with his boss. I didn't tell him what it involved but I hoped that his boss remembered me favorably enough that he'd agree to a meeting.

I also set up a meeting with the best divorce lawyer I could find. This guy was like napalm according to his reputation. He spread all over a divorce and burned everything he touched.

A few hours later, I was done working for the day. For the first time that I could remember, I dreaded going home. What was left there for me? I debated going to a bar with some of the guys from work but decided against it, at least for that day. I would need to begin developing new friendships but I could begin that tomorrow.

I pulled into my driveway and turned the Mustang's ignition off. I went into the house as quietly as I could. I put my briefcase down and sank into the couch in the den. I let all of the air I'd been holding in out and tried to release all of my tension along with it. I closed my eyes and concentrated on just relaxing. I think I almost dozed off. Then I felt a pair of soft hands begin to knead my shoulders, it felt heavenly.

"Get your fucking hands off of me," I said, in the coldest voice I could manage. I jerked myself off the couch and turned to look at the pain written on Iris' face.

"I was just trying to help you feel better," she said regaining her composure. "You look like you had a rough day at work."

"Iris, my day at work was fine. It was coming home that created all of the tension," I said. She looked down at her feet.

"When do you think you'll want dinner?" she asked. "I'm not sure if you want to wait until after you run or if you'd like something before."

"Iris, just do or make whatever pleases you, whenever you want to," I said. "Isn't that the way you viewed our marriage anyway." I went upstairs and changed into a pair of lightweight track pants and a lightweight hoodie. I put my favorite Asics trainers on and headed out. Iris stared at me as I left the house.

"Be careful," she said quietly. I pretended that I didn't hear her. As I stepped onto my porch Aubrey appeared. She smiled at me and came over. 

"Your run is going to suck today," she said. 

"I know," I said. "Usually my Monday runs are just to get some blood flowing back through my legs after the Sunday long run. I'm usually stiff on Monday, so I take it easy and run slowly."

"That's not what I was talking about," she said still smiling. "You're going to run even slower than usual and you might end up walking."

I looked at her crazily because I was somewhat of an exercise snob. I always waved at other runners on my path, but I barely even took note of walkers. The thought of actually walking myself, was ridiculous. But she was looking at me and smiling. And her smile seemed to take away some of the anger I'd been holding in.

"Okay, so why am I going to be doing that?" I asked.

"BECAUSE, I'm going with you," she said. "Let's go!"

And just like that we were off. I did notice Jay grimacing in his doorway as we took off. And I also noticed that every eye on the block was on us again as we slowly...Boy do I mean slowly, jogged down the street. I was sure that if we jogged any more slowly we'd be going backwards, but I endured it. The smile on her face was reward enough to overcome any frustration I felt over our lack of progress.

"Jay, wanted to," she began then she slowed down and started walking. She grabbed my arm, thinking I was going to run on without her. "Okay, I made it a block," she said. "This running thing is a lot tougher than my aerobics videos."

I just smiled and nodded. "We probably started out too fast for me," she said breathing hard. In the back of my mind I felt fear. It was deep down spine tingling fear. There was simply no way I could run any slower and stay awake.

"Jay wanted to take another stab at you today," she said. "He figured that you'd had enough time to calm down, now so maybe you'd be willing to talk." We were walking side by side then and the pace was brisk for a walk but she seemed to be handling it well.

"Bart convinced him to wait a few days before they approached you again. He said that you were really hurt and that it was going to take a while. Plus they were all remembering what you said about the next time they came to your house you'd shoot them," she smiled again and I noticed that she was still holding my arm.

"Do you even have a gun?" she asked.

"Of course I do," I said. "It was my father's gun. He worked for Army intelligence. He got it during his work for the army rooting out spies. It's a pretty big gun too."

"What kind?" she asked.

"Well, it's kind of a rarity," I said. "I don't think they make them anymore."

"Is it one of those big old long barreled thirty-eights?" she asked. 

"Nope, it's a forty-five," I said. "Probably the most powerful forty-five I've ever shot. When you hit stuff with this gun it doesn't make a hole, shit just explodes."

"Is it a Colt 45?" she asked. 

"No it's an automatic that was designed specifically for the US government," I said. "It's one of those custom Federal Designated pieces that were issued to intelligence operatives. They have stories written about them."

"I've never heard of that," she smiled at me. "I thought my dad knew a lot about guns, but I've never heard of that. My dad might though."

"Yep," I smirked. "Ask him. I'm sure your dad's read FD45 stories."

As we walked, she didn't seem to be very inclined to let go of my arm. We'd been walking in the park for a while when she pulled me over to a bench and we sat down. She kicked her legs a little bit and stretched. A guy who'd been slowly jogging down the path ran into a pole as he watched her. I laughed but I didn't tell her about it.

"Jay ordered me to stay away from you," she smiled.

"I can see that worked," I smiled right back at her. "Aubrey, what do you want to see happen here? I mean, what is the end game for you? I've figured out what I'm going to do, but I don't want to see you get hurt by any of this, so I need to know where you want your life to go after this is over."

"Barry, I hate Jay so badly that I can taste it. I don't want him dead but anything else, I'm up for. I decided last night to divorce him, but that still just doesn't sit right with me. He took all of my hopes and dreams and fucked them and me over. I want my pound of flesh too. Especially since if I divorce him there won't be any money coming my way. I'll probably have to go back and live with my parents for a while, but even that would be better than putting up with living this way any longer. I was a waitress before and it didn't kill me. I can do it again."

"Aubrey, in a divorce, you'd probably be entitled to half of your assets," I said. "That's why I've had to find myself a good crooked lawyer who knows all about hiding assets and that kind of stuff. I don't want to pay Iris for ruining my life. She has a college degree. She can drag her ass out and get a job."

"Barry, that's just it," she said. "Jay is like one of those cowboys from the big city. He's all hat and no cattle. Even that Camaro he drives is leased. He's friends with the dealer so they don't have dealer plates on it, but if Jay missed even one paycheck we'd be up shit creek. We're barely keeping up with being behind on the mortgage right now. If Jay and I divorce neither one of us would get a fucking dime. We don't even have enough money to be broke. I have nothing to lose."

I outlined my plan for her and she started laughing. She added a couple of things that I hadn't thought about and we shook hands. We looked into each other's eyes and said what we'd both been thinking. "There goes the neighborhood."

Our plan seemed to forge a new sense of intimacy between us besides giving us what we both burned for, revenge against our cheating spouses. 

We walked all the way back to our street and down it. As we walked down the street, Kristy came out to meet us. "Where have you guys been?" she asked sweetly. 

"We went out for a run," I said. 

"Is that what they call it now?" she laughed. "Well I just wanted you to know that I'm okay with the offer that Bart made to you yesterday. You're probably too tired today, after your RUN. But you can keep me in mind." Then she walked back to her porch and her children.

I'd noticed that Aubrey hadn't said a word the whole time Kristy was there. "What did that mean?" she asked. I explained to her the offer of Kristy's services that Bart had made the previous day.

Aubrey's eyes narrowed and she looked back at Kristy. I decided to change the subject. "Are you hungry?" I asked. She nodded. "Okay how does, showers, then my deck for steaks sound?"

"Very, very good," she said. Her smile was back and she retreated into her house.

I ran into my house and up the stairs taking them two at a time and right into the shower. I was actually skipping on my way back down the stairs. Iris got off the couch and came over to me.

"You seem like you're in a better mood," she said. "Can..."

I walked right past her and out into the yard. I looked around and realized that I should probably get the meat out first. I was looking through the freezer when Iris came up behind me. "What are you looking for, I made you dinner already, Honey," she said. "I made pasta. You always like it because it replaces the glycogen in your muscles that the long run takes out of them."

"I thought about what you offered yesterday," I said. "I think that you should be free to explore your fling to the limits of your curiosity."

"Uhm thanks," she said. "But I don't want that anymore. I want to work on patching up our marriage instead."

"I really think you should go for this," I said. "I think you should get it totally out of your system. At least find out what you like and what you don't like. Try a few different things, who knows, it might come in handy. It might even be good for both of us."

"You're thinking of uhm...participating?" she asked. Her whole face lit up and I realized then that I'd made the right decision.

"Fuck no," I snapped. "If I'm so disgusted by you that I can barely be in the same room with you, why would I want to watch anyone fuck you, let alone do it myself?"

It was as if I'd slapped her. She came across the room and she was pissed. "I know what this is about. You're just giving me permission because you want Aubrey. Jay was right to be afraid. You're just figuring that if it's okay for me to fuck the guys then you can get your dick into Aubrey. Well forget it. I already told you that I'm not interested in doing it anymore. It cost me too much."

I just laughed. "Barry, you're not looking at this the right way. There is nothing going on with me and anyone except you from now on. Yesterday ended it. I will not be making that mistake again, ever. Did you notice how easy it was for me to just cut it off, just like that? There were never any emotional ties or romantic feelings between me and the guys or vice versa. What we did wasn't about romance, it was only sex. They don't want a future with me. They all love their wives and I love you. None of us wanted to risk our marriages, it was just in fun."

"Does it look like I was having any fucking fun, Iris?" I yelled. Then I just turned away from her and put myself back together.

"Why are you getting two steaks out?" she asked. "Do you want me eat with you?"

"One is for Aubrey," I said.

"Jay was right," she hissed. "I don't want you spending any time with her. The two of you don't know how to do this correctly. You're too emotional. You'll end up in love with her or something. She isn't even your type."

"What do you mean she isn't my type?" I asked. "I don't have a type."

"I'm your type," she said.

"So my type is lying, cheating, sluts?" I asked. "Okay you're right, she's not like that."

"What I meant was that she's not built the way you like your women," she said.

"Iris, you're stupider than I thought," I said. "I don't love someone for the way they look on the outside. I loved you for the person I thought you were. I loved the conversations we had, and our shared values and a thousand other things about you that were just beautiful. It wouldn't have mattered to me if you weighed 80 pounds or 800 pounds I fell in love with the person I thought you were."

"It's like algebra, Iris. I loved you. You have big tits. Therefore, I love big tits. I didn't just go out and decide that I only like big women. That would be kind of stupid. I just glorified and learned to appreciate all of the things you have, because I loved you. I could just as easily fall in love with someone with a slim and sexy body as I could with someone bigger."

"Barry, why do you keep saying loved?" she asked.

"Iris, yesterday a big part of me died. I told you this morning that everything started all over again. Right now when I look at you, all I see is you lying down on the coffee table begging them to fuck you. I'm not sure I'll get over this."

"But you have to," she whined.

"Why?" I asked. "Life will go on whether we're together or not. I'm not trying to be hard or cruel, Iris. But sometimes you can hurt a person so badly that they just don't get over it. Look at Aubrey. Look at what you and the guys did to her. When we first moved here she was one of the sweetest people we know. Look at the way she's been acting for a whole fucking year, because of the FUN you guys were having. Can you imagine how she suffered for all of that time, hoping that Jay would stop? Eventually she just fell out of love with Jay. You guys just FUNNED it all out of her."

"But Jay still loves her," said Iris. "He's going crazy right now. He thinks that you two are going to start having sex and that you'll take her away from him. You remember all of those hurtful things he said last night. Remember how he said that trading her for me wasn't a fair trade. Remember you said the same thing. You said that if you had choice you'd never agree to do anything like that."

"Iris, that's the part that neither you nor that asshole Jay seem to get," I snapped. "Aubrey and I didn't have a choice. No one came to us and said, "Hey, Barry. Would ya be interested in a bit of wife swapping? It'll be FUN, Barry. I'll plow Iris for a while and you can fuck the cowboy shit out of Aubrey, then we'll trade back. No one said that Iris. Neither Aubrey or I got the memo."

"So now that the shit has hit the fan, you, Jay and the rest of the Mouseketeers want to talk about having a choice and what you want or don't want to have happen. But it isn't your turn to choose anymore, Iris. You and Jay already had your turn to choose and now you aren't happy with the choice you made. It sucks doesn't it?"

Iris just sat at our kitchen table with her head down. It looked like she was really thinking about what I'd said.

I heard a couple of footsteps on the back porch. As I opened the door, I turned to Iris.

"Iris," I said softly. She raised her head and looked at me with tear filled eyes. "Is it still FUN?"

Aubrey and I sat out on my deck and grilled our steaks. We laughed and talked and had a great time, almost as if we were oblivious to the fact that Jay and Iris were staring at us out of their respective windows. One thing that was interesting that night was that Debbie came over. She wanted to talk to us about something. Wally, of course, made up an excuse to go and see Jay. The two of them sat there in the window, mad enough to chew nails. Once I saw them looking at me and raised my hand like it was a gun. I mimicked a shooting motion and the window snapped shut.

At first, Aubrey wasn't talking to Deb either, but it soon became apparent even to her that Deb really didn't know anything about what was going on. We decided not to tell her yet, because we were simply not sure of how Deb would take it.

The rest of the week was similar with the exception that I did get to go out and actually run. Aubrey borrowed Deb's bike. There were even a few nights when I ran slower than I could so she could go ahead of me. I have to admit that Aubrey's ass is a work of art. I spent a lot of time wishing that I was that bike seat.

Friday came and we decided that it was time to let Jay, Iris and company know what their punishment was. 

I told Iris and she spread the word among all the others that we'd be having a meeting on Sunday afternoon, right after the Lion's game.

On Sunday morning I went out for my long run. I ran 22 miles and felt good but tired afterwards. I had to admit that I'd missed Aubrey being with me while I ran. But I didn't know what to make of it.

When I got home, Iris had made something to eat for me and I, as had become the norm, walked right by her. My legs were so tired I could barely move without them cramping and tightening up. I hit the shower and started to stretch for a while. A couple of my friends from work arrived shortly after that and I called and ordered pizza and showed them to my den.

When the pizza guy got there, I noticed that Jay and Wally were nervously sitting on Jay's front porch. They smiled when they saw that I'd ordered three large pizzas. They thought that since I hardly ever ate more than two slices, even after an extremely tough run, that things were getting back to normal. I nodded at them politely and turned to go back into the house.

Just as kickoff time came, I heard my doorbell ring. I excused myself and went to answer the door. I saw Jay, Wally and Bart standing there on my porch. Apparently they hadn't seen the other cars in my driveway. 

"You're early," I said. "The meeting isn't until after the game." Aubrey picked that moment to walk up on the porch. She had on the tightest top I'd ever seen. Her breasts were nowhere near the size of Iris' but on her small frame they looked huge. It was very obvious that she wasn't wearing a bra. She also had on a pair of shorts so tight and tiny that Daisy Duke herself would complain about them. She was carrying another plate of cookies. She stepped inside the house through the door that I was holding open. Wally and Bart both gulped loudly and Jay looked like he was about to lay an egg.

"Well guys," I said. "See you after the game."

"Why did you order all of that pizza, for just two people," asked Wally. Before I could answer him, Derrick Coleman, one of my friends at work came out of the den.

"Uhm, Barry, there's a girl...I mean a woman sitting in your chair. She's not your wife. Uhm, the guys and I were wondering..."

"Just be nice to her," I said. "She's my friend too. She's watching the game with us." He shook his head and then turned to go back in my den. "How are we supposed to watch the TV with her in there?" he mumbled. Jay got even more pissed when he heard that.

"You have people over to watch the game with you?" asked Bart.

"Of course, the best way to enjoy something is to share it with your friends. Isn't that what you did with my wife, Jay?" He fumed as he heard me ask the question. "Anyway, I thought I had friends once, but they turned out not to be the kind of people I should associate with. So I got new friends. See you at four thirty." I closed the door with a resounding thunk.

I watched the game with three guys from work. They ate the food and yelled and screamed at the game but I could tell that most of their attention was on Aubrey. They wanted to know who she was, other than her name. They wanted to know why my wife hadn't said a word and why she was sitting so close to me. When they found out that Aubrey had made the cookies, they devoured them. They told her that although pizza and beer was a more traditional thing to eat while watching football, they agreed with her that cookies and milk was a much better choice. I told Aubrey that they were sucking up to her and she just laughed.




There Goes the Neighnorhood



After the game, the guys politely thanked me and left. Aubrey said what I was thinking when they left. "I had more fun when it was just us," she said. 

"I did too," I admitted. 

"They probably think I'm a slut," she said.

"They're really nice guys," I said. "They're just weirded out because you're a girl watching football. That's rare and special."

"It's nice to have someone think I'm rare and special," she said. 

"You should have seen the reaction you got from Jay," I laughed.

"He no longer gets an opinion on how I act or what I wear," she said. "What did you think?"

"Oh, we're late," I said. "We'd better get to the meeting. Are you ready?"

"Let's go," she smirked. "But we're not done with this conversation, yet."

We walked next door to her house. She opened the door and we went in. Jay, Wally, Bart and Iris were sitting around the dining room table. Jay was really pissed. Aubrey walked right by him and smiled. "That was really cold," said Bart. "You know we always watch the game together."

"Yeah, Jay's TV sucks," said Wally. "This wasn't fun at all. We need to get past this and get back to normal."

"Finding Normal isn't always easy," I said quietly. 

"Who were those guys?" asked Bart. 

"They're some of the guys I work with," I said.

"They're really nice guys," smiled Aubrey. 

"Why are you dressed like a slut?" screamed Jay. He'd finally lost his cool. Aubrey hadn't sat down yet, neither had I. As Jay jumped to his feet she ducked behind me and I glared at him, waiting for him to make a move.

"Barry, this is wrong," he said sitting down again. "Can you see this? You know how badly I've been suffering. You're my best friend. You're the guy I should be turning to about this."

"Jay, I WAS the guy you turned to about this. I was the moron who helped you pay for the PI who followed Aubrey around when we thought that she was cheating on you. I was the idiot who calmed you down and made you feel better when she first started acting the way she has towards you. Isn't that what I did?"

He nodded. "I did all of that because that's what best friends do," I said. "Best friends don't fuck each other's wives for a year. They don't continue doing it until they get caught and then start acting like they're the fucking victim.

"It was a terrible thing to do," he said quietly. "And it was the worst mistake I've ever made. It cost me a lot of time with my wife. It's nearly ruined my marriage and it messed up our friendship. I've almost destroyed our whole neighborhood. All I can say is that I'm sorry."

"Too little, too late," said Aubrey coldly.

"Aubrey, he loves you," said Iris. Aubrey just let her head fall back releasing a torrent of tawny curls. Her laughter lightened the mood in the room.

"What do you know about love?" asked Aubrey. "You cheated on the best guy I know. How can you even stand to let that word pass your lips?" Iris started to talk and then just clamped her lips shut.

Aubrey kept talking. "I'm sorry Iris. This probably confuses you. Whores don't understand romance or commitment. Sluts have no emotions except lust. Skanks don't know anything about love."

Aubrey stepped out from behind me. "Tell me Iris, do you know how badly it hurts to watch your husband, the man who swore to love and honor you, sneaking off to screw some fat assed slut when he could be with you?"

Aubrey turned and looked at Jay, then back at Iris. "Nope, you don't do you? But you will soon. Well not the fat ass slut part, but all the rest."

"If you and my worthless, lying, cheating husband want our marriages back you're going to have to have a dose of what we felt. Neither Barry nor I want to sneak around and tell lies to you two for a whole year. We're just not that cruel. But Barry and I are going to go out on a bunch of dates. Probably..." she hesitated.

"Five or six," I supplied.

"I was going to say twenty," she continued. "Any way, we're going to go out and do whatever we want. We may or may not have sex on these dates. You two do not get to say a word about it. If either of you so much as breathes hard during the time that we're dating, we add one and start all over again."

Aubrey came over and sat down on my lap. She put her arm around me and laid her head on my shoulder. Iris jumped up and screamed "Get away from my husband you little bitch."

Aubrey got up and started laughing. "What's so God damned funny?" asked Jay.

"Barry and I have never even kissed each other," said Aubrey. "This game may never end. We're already up to six or seven dates now and we haven't even gone out yet."

"That didn't count," said Iris. "I wasn't ready."

"I wasn't ready to see my husband humping a baby elephant either," snapped Aubrey. "Remember you and Jay don't have to do this. We can just get great lawyers and go for the divorces now. Maybe Barry and I could go out on those dates afterwards anyway."

"What about the rest of us?" asked Wally.

"Yeah," chimed in Bart. "Are we all friends again?"

Even Aubrey looked at me. "Neither of you has anything to offer me," I said. "We'll see how this goes, though. Maybe there'll be deals for both of you as well."

Aubrey smiled and held on to my arm. Doing that was becoming a habit of hers. She took my arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, staring straight at Iris as she did it.

"This seems like a nice night to go out for a drive in that car of yours," she said.

Jay set his jaw harder and Iris bit her lip so hard that blood beaded up on it. 

"I'll go change into something more appropriate for driving," she smiled. 

"I'm not getting upset," said Jay, with a big fake smile plastered on his face. "I just have a question. Is this a date?"

"Of course not," said Aubrey. "This is just me going out for a drive with a friend."

"Then why can't you and I go out for a drive in my Camaro?" asked Jay. "You've never set foot in my car."

"Jay, are you upset?" she asked, in a very caring tone. 

"Yes, I am," spat Jay.

"Ooh that's got us up to eight or nine dates now," she smiled.

"What?" shrieked Iris, angrily. "But you said that this wasn't a fucking date!"

"Nine or ten," chirped Aubrey. "The rule was that you two wouldn't say a word during the dating period. Even though this isn't a date, the dating period has begun."

Iris badly wanted to say something but she held her-self back. She raised her hand as if she was in school. Aubrey nodded at her.

"So you mean to tell me that you can spend as much time with my husband as you want whenever you want until this is over?" asked Iris.

"No, I can't" said Aubrey smiling. "I'd want all of his time. But I can spend as much time as he'll allow me."

"No," said Iris. "We're not doing this."

"Shut up you fat cow," snapped Jay. "I don't like it any more than you do, but I'd rather let him have her for a little while than lose her forever." Iris glared at him.

"But don't you see it you fucking moron? If we let them do this, we'll never get them back. She's had a year to make up her mind and she's done with you. You deserve it. You're just a fucking horn dog. She'll be much better off without you. Barry, on the other hand, is still in shock. But if he starts dating her, I'll lose him."

Aubrey cut in. "Okay, then the deal is off. Barry can you give me the name and number of that divorce lawyer you found?"

"Okay, wait," said Iris. "I guess if we do this, at least I have a chance. I'll agree but only on the condition that the two of you have to talk to us. Barry has to talk to me and you have to talk to Jay."

Now it was Aubrey's turn to bite her lip, but she agreed. She nodded her head to confirm it. 

"And the two of you have to speak to us as well," added Jay. 

"What the hell are you talking about, asshole?" I spat. 

"He wants you to talk to him and for Iris and me, to talk to each other too," said Aubrey.

"No fucking way," I said. "It's bad enough I have to talk to her. I'd rather call the whole thing off. We're already bending over and spreading for them. We're giving them all kinds of God damned choices when they didn't give us any. They're asking too much."

"Whatever," said Jay. "Do you think that this is easy on me? Losing our friendship is actually worse than when Aubrey stopped talking to me. At least then I had you to help me through it."

"Fucking over people has consequences," I hissed. "Are we doing this or not?" Both Jay and Iris nodded their heads. 

"I guess I'll have to go for our drive like this," said Aubrey. "We've talked away all of my changing time." She held out her arm to me and we left. A few moments later we'd backed my car out and were heading for the freeway. It was a beautiful night and the moon was high in the sky.

"Do you think they bought it?" I laughed.

"I'm pretty sure they got the idea," said Aubrey.

"It feels pretty good to give them a taste of what we felt," I said.

"Mmm, okay," she laughed. Aubrey seemed happy. And she looked at me as if she had a secret. She snuggled in and wrapped my arm around her as we drove home.

Every year my company has its end of the year party on the first weekend of December. It follows our year's end performance reviews and we hold a big formal dinner for all of the employees. All employees from the CEO to the groundskeepers are invited, but attendance is mandatory for the management team.

When Iris and I got home from our first appointment with the marriage counselor she'd found, the invitation was in our mailbox.

Actually she found it before I got home, since we'd driven in separate cars. "Oh God," she said. "I hate going to these fucking things worse than anything else. And this year they haven't even left me enough time to get a dress and really diet for it."

"Don't bother," I said.

"Why not?" she asked. "It's mandatory for you to attend. It would be terrible for you to go alone."

She was smiling. Even though I had promised to speak to her, this was the closest we'd come yet to a civil conversation. Even in our therapy sessions, I'd refused to give anything other than monosyllabic answers. Iris saw this as a way for us to begin the healing process.

"I'm not planning on going alone," I said. "I'm going to ask Aubrey." Iris looked really hurt. For some reason, it didn't bother me. Actually her pain seemed to make me feel better. 

"You're probably glad that you don't have to take the fat girl this time," she said. 

"Actually, Iris, every year before this one, I've begged you to go with me," I told her. "I've always been proud to show you off. And you know it. As I recall it, last year they almost caught me sucking your boobs in the coat room. Remember what we did when we got home that night?" Her face lit up with the memory, then immediately fell at the thought of me going with Aubrey.

"So why can't I go this year?" she sobbed. "I'm your wife no matter what Aubrey thinks. Why are you taking her?"

"Because I wouldn't have to worry about finding Aubrey in the middle of a gangbang," I snapped cruelly. "I still have to worry about what you'll be doing while I'm gone though. And then there's the fact that I do have to start dating Aubrey sometime."

"Can't we get past this?" she asked. "Why can't we just put this behind us? This isn't the way things are supposed to be. Don't you see that? This isn't what I wanted at all. I want you, Barry."

"It isn't what I wanted either," I said. "I had the perfect life. I had a beautiful wife who I loved with all of my heart and who I thought loved me. I had friends who I thought had my back no matter what."

"Damn it Barry. We can have it all back," she said. 

"I wish," I said quietly. "But it was all a lie. Iris, everything we had was a lie. Everything you've always told me was a lie. It began all the way back before we were married. When you gave me the, "I've grown out of being a slut," speech, I took you at your word. You told me that you only acted that way because you were lonely and you didn't have anyone who loved you. Well Iris, I loved you and I never went away. But you were lying then and it just made everything we have a lie. If I'd known that you weren't being honest with me, I never would have married you."

"And my great friends aren't any better. The guys I thought were behind me no matter what. I guess being behind YOU or maybe in your behind was just more important. There's no going back."

A week later, I'd just finished putting on my tux when Iris came into the room and looked at me. There were tears in the corners of her eyes as we walked next door. The thought of me dating Aubrey was killing her and she deserved it. 

As I stepped onto the porch, the door opened. Jay ushered us in. He saw Iris crying and nodded at her. He tried his God damnedest not to even look at me. I snickered loudly. As I walked into Jay's living room, I saw that Wally and Bart were there. Kristy was there with Bart.

"Damn Barry, you clean up really well," said Kristy. "Have you been thinking about me? I'll certainly be thinking about you after this."

Iris glared angrily at Kristy. Before she could say anything, Aubrey came slowly down the stairs. 

When I saw her, I forgot how to breathe. Starting from the top, Aubrey had changed overnight. We'd just seen each other last night for one of our evening drives, but this was a different Aubrey. 

She'd gotten her hair styled differently. It was incredible. Her hair was swept back on the left side and it curved around her left ear and fell in soft waves on her shoulder. The right side draped down curtain-like, so you couldn't see the right side of her face. It was very playful and called attention to her face. It just made you want to see more of that face. She looked like a modern day version of Veronica Lake.

Her dress was a beautiful shade of blue. Her shoulders were totally bare and her back was naked, all the way to her waist. The bottom part of the dress, I guess you'd call it the skirt, was tight over her hips and outlined her butt. It went down to mid-calf and really emphasized her legs and lower body. I wondered how she'd be able to walk until I noticed that there was a split on one side that went all the way up to her waist in the front. Every time she moved one of her beautifully shaped legs came into view. 

As she turned around the guys were speechless. Kristy let out a long whistle. 

"Are you wearing any panties?" asked Kristy. "That dress is so fucking tight that I'm surprised you can breathe. There should be a line somewhere. Even if you're wearing a thong we should see something."

Everyone, especially Jay, looked at her. "Barry will know by the end of the evening," she said smiling. "Maybe he'll tell you." As she spoke, Jay, who had been gripping the armrest of his chair so tightly that his knuckles were white, suddenly ripped the armrest off of the chair.

"Why don't you dress like that for me?" he asked. 

"I only dress like this for the guys I'm going to fuck," snapped Aubrey. She was still twisting the knife, even now. 

I remembered the corsage I'd bought her and just looked at her. The top of her dress barely contained her boobs. I wondered what was holding it up. Surely she wasn't expecting me to pin this thing on her. 

"Don't be shy Honey," she said. "You're going to have your hands on them pretty soon anyway. They're not as big as what you're used to."

"But they're probably a lot firmer and definitely shaped better," said Bart. 

"Thank you kind sir," gushed Aubrey. 

"Fuck you Bart," hissed Iris. 

"Never again," said Bart. "That's why we're in this God damned situation now. You have to learn to keep your legs closed."

Wally was still staring at Aubrey. I don't think he realized that we could hear him. "Jay was out of his fucking mind to cheat on that," he said.

I had the best time ever at the dinner. Aubrey was breath taking. My co-workers all wanted to know who she was and where I'd met her. Only a few of them even knew that I was having problems in my marriage. Of course, my football buddies had already met her and had told everyone about her over the past few weeks, but few were ready for the reality. 

Aubrey seemed to be having a great time too. After the dinner, there was dancing. I'm not a great dancer but we got plenty of attention. Aubrey was asked to dance several times and refused them all. "He gets really jealous," she told them. "He really doesn't like to share his toys."

Back in the car on the way home, things heated up. "So are you ready?" I mistakenly asked her. 

"I've been ready for weeks," she said. "Did you have some place in mind? Your car is tiny inside. I've heard of teenagers doing it in the backseat, but I don't think both of us will even fit back there."

"I was talking about tomorrow," I laughed. 

"The curtain finally goes up on the real show," she laughed. "This will all be over soon. Debbie is so pissed at Wally that she can barely stand to look at him. I really wish that we could do Wally first, just so we could end her pain."

"I wish that we could do Iris first, so we could end MY pain," I said. "I checked the cameras. Did you know that she gave him a blow job yesterday?"

"I no longer care about that horn dog's sex life," she said. "I'll just be glad when he stops following me around trying to get me to play with his little pee-pee. Besides we need to worry about our own sex life."

"Aubrey, you are far too special for just a quick roll in the hay," I smiled. "You're the kind of girl who should be..."

"I'm not nearly as special as you think," she said running her hand over my crotch. "I'm just a normal girl. Don't start trying to make me into something I'm not. And you can roll me anywhere you want, in the hay or anywhere else."

"Aubrey, I'm being serious," I said. 

"I am too," she said, putting her hand over my mouth to shush me.

"When this bullshit is over, I want us to end up together," she said. "So I need to claim you before that bitch Kristy tries to."

"Aubrey, Kristy is as big a slut as Iris is," I laughed. 

"Nuh Unh," she said. "Kristy is much thinner than Iris." I couldn't help laughing. 

"I really don't have panties on," she said.

As we pulled back in the driveway and I walked her up to the door, every eye in the neighborhood was on us, as usual. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. I'd intended just a quick peck but Aubrey had other plans. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in. 

Our mouths locked together hungrily and she molded herself against me. Almost too soon, we pushed away from each other as Jay opened the front door like a father checking on his teen-aged daughter. Aubrey and I barely noticed him there. A line had been crossed between us. I'm still not sure how I managed to walk away from her that night but we both knew that things had changed.

As I walked into my house, I noticed Iris sitting in the kitchen. I looked at her and smiled. 

"How was she?" she asked angrily. "Is she better in bed than I am? I really don't think she is. Jay told me that she's kind of boring. I may not be as pretty as she is, but I'm a much better fuck. I'll do things she never even dreamed of. I'd do anything you ever wanted to try if you just gave me the chance."

"If she's that terrible in bed, then why is Jay so desperate to get her back?" I asked. 

"He loves her," snapped Iris. "He can't get over her, the same way that I can't get over you."

"If he loves her so much and you love me, then why were you sucking his dick yesterday?" I asked. She looked scared. "We have cameras all over both houses," I said. "This whole thing will be over soon."

"But..." she started. 

"Iris, just save it," I said. "We really don't care. Aubrey and I were just trying to give the two of you a chance to get us back. I guess you guys need sex more than love. You're going to be one lonely old woman someday." I left her standing there crying.