124 comments/ 76859 views/ 81 favorites The Third Time's the Charm By: StangStar06 Hi Folks, this one is a bit different. I've been reading a lot more DG and Hermit lately and Barney-R's influence is in there too. So in this one I wanted to concentrate more on the family aspects of the story than on revenge or action. The next one is probably going to be a bit sci fi, so for those of you who hate sci fi, here's your life preserver. I also took a break before this one. School and injuries kept me busy. The next one will be finished much more quickly. SS06 * * * * * * I've always prided myself on the fact that I go out and run, four or five miles, five times a week. I consider myself to be in very good shape for a man of my age. And although I'll be hitting the big Four Oh on my next birthday, I don't feel over the hill. I've never been a believer in the supernatural or any of that type of shit, but walking home that day, even though it was only a mile seemed to sap all of my strength. With every step I took, something inside of me just seemed to tell me to stop. It was almost as if the fates were trying to protect me. And truthfully, if I had done what my senses were screaming for me to do, I might never have found out. Everything inside of me told me to call home and have my wife Brenda come and pick me up. For the first time in my life, my Mustang had failed me. Nope, it hadn't broken down. I had just run out of gas. It was all my fault. My car has a display that tells me now many miles I can go before the tank is empty. The problem is that I can usually go about five miles past that. So in my hurry to get home, I ignored the warning that the tank was empty. It was supposed to be a very special day. You see, twelve years ago that day, I had done what most of my friends had considered the dumbest thing I'd ever done. At the age of twenty eight years old, I had married a divorced thirty five year old woman with three kids. I hadn't cared what anyone had said about her or her past. All I thought about was the way she made me feel. When Bren and I were together, I felt like I could fly. Sure, there were some issues early on. Her kids were an early source of friction. At, fourteen, eleven, and nine years old, they were old enough to remember their biological father. It had taken years of crying, and screaming and yelling, mixed with, kindness, compassion, and just plain old letting things roll off of my back and refusing to let things get to me, but we made it work. The first two years had been the worst. Then there had been a couple of years of resignation but after four years, I didn't realize when it had happened, but we were a family. We were a strong family. The baby of the bunch, Shannon, had accepted me from the very first day. Even when Brenda and I were only dating, she would climb up into my lap and demand to be hugged. Then it was homework help and Daddy/Daughter dances. After the first one, while she was still only nine years old, she had told me that I was going to have to marry her mother so I really would be her daddy. That had been years ago and plenty of water had run under that bridge since then, but I felt more like Shannon's father than her step-father. In fact, Shannon had begun calling me Daddy, before the wedding and had never stopped. The other kids were slower about switching from Dale, to Dad, but I couldn't blame them. I think that most of us, want our parents to be together. I think most of us would resist someone who tried to step in and take the place of our mother or father, no matter what. It was only natural. But again, that had been years ago and I was excited about the present I had gotten Brenda for our twelfth anniversary. We were going on a cruise. I wanted to knockBrenda's socks off. She had never really travelled much. Our Honeymoon had been the first and only time she had ever been on a plane. It was also the only time she's ever left the state of Michigan. She was going to love the cruise. So as I trudged that mile in the hot summer sun, all I had on my mind was how much happiness my present was going to bring her. And how surprised she was going to be. As I got to our block, the first thing I noticed was the busted ass Dodge pickup in my driveway. I'm a car guy. And although I do find the F150 an attractive vehicle, this, I repeat busted ass Dodge pickup was butt ugly. It was rusted out along the bottom and had several holes in the body work. The bed of the truck also had several huge gaping holes in it. Another interesting feature was that the rear shocks were gone. The fenders in the back were practically rubbing the tops of the worn out tires. The rear window of the cab was gone and replaced with a sheet of plastic wrap. The glass was also missing from the rearview mirrors on both sides. The hood was held down by wire. I could also see that the truck's exhaust pipe was also hung by pieces of wire. I laughed as I walked up onto my porch. That was when the joke ceased to be funny. The entire house smelled like sex. And the tell-tale sound of bed springs left me no doubt as to what was going on. I climbed the stairs as silently as I could. The door to our bedroom wasn't even closed. I guess with all of the kids out of the house, there was really no need to expect anyone to be home during the day. No one except for her stupid husband, that is. And he would be at work busting his ass for her until five p.m. There was something visceral about the scene on the bed in front of me. It was something that porn, no matter how artfully shot could never match. No scene of perfectly built women being screwed by athletic men with huge dicks could ever come close to how nasty this was. No matter how you slice it, porn always seems ... fake. It just seems like a movie. Brenda is not beautiful. She doesn't have huge tits. She doesn't have a pneumatic ass that pumps up and down at sixty or seventy cycles per minute. She doesn't have long, slender legs, or a tiny waist. Brenda is your typical, average, housewife who's forty seven years old and has born three kids. Most of us, who've been married for a long time, know our mates. We know their quirks. We know their turn offs and their turn ons. We know what pisses them off and what makes them purr. And the woman on the bed was purring. Neither of them could see me. They had their backs to me. He was fucking her from behind and she was screaming like there was no tomorrow. There is something about watching a middle aged woman get fucked. There's something incongruous about it. You know that you're watching someone's mother, spread her legs and thrust her well used pussy back at the guy who's fucking her with everything she has. It just seems wrong. She had a light coating of sweat covering her body and she was wiggling her hips like a stripper. She pushed back against him meeting his every thrust and grunted with each movement. He slammed his pelvis against her as if he hated her and roared as his upper thighs flexed as he started to cum. She was doing that same little mewling sound that she makes just before she cums. She was even saying the exact same corny ass lines she uses with me. "Ooh baby, you're the best," she screamed. "You always were." "Better than him?" he asked. "Can't you just enjoy what you're getting and leave it at that?" she asked. "Yeah, but from the looks of things back here, you've been letting him get more than you ever gave me," he said. "He took his time getting into my ass," she said. "He made it feel really good. All you ever did was pounded away at me like some slut." He was slowing down. Maybe it was because he was thinking about what she said. But from the looks of him, and what I knew from what I'd heard, he was an older guy. So maybe he was just running out of gas. I took out my iPhone and snapped off a few pictures. They were high def pictures so even if I didn't get her face in them, her tattoos would be enough to identify her. "I was always so desperate to get inside of you," he said. "You were always the best fuck I ever had." "Yeah, you always got in, got off, and then got away from me. And all with equal quickness," she spat. "Okay, let's make a deal," he said. "Next time, I'll try to be romantic, and you let me take a crack at your ass." "And next time maybe you could manage to ask about your kids," she said, leaving me no doubt if I'd had any about who he was. "And next time, the two of you cando it someplace other than my fucking house," I said calmly, stepping into the room. Their eyes opened in shock. "Dale, Honey, this isn't what you think," she said. Even he turned and looked at her stupidly. "Oh, that's good," I said. "Because what I think, is that you're in our bed, fucking the asshole that abused you for years and ran out on you and your kids twelve years ago." "Dale," he began. "This is no threat to what you guys have. I'm glad Brenda is happy with you. This was just ... I mean ... this doesn't mean anything. It's never hurt you before and..." That told me even more about the situation. Not only had she fucked her ex husband, she'd done it before. She had probably screwed some other guys too. There was no saving us. "Dale, I'm sorry," she said. "I love you. This was just..." "I agree that you're sorry," I spat. "You must be about the sorriest woman I ever met. But you're not as sorry as you'll be in a few minutes orwhen this piece of shit gets bored and leaves you again. And I don't think I need what you consider love. If this is any indication of what love means to you, I can do without it." "Hey, Dale, calm down," he said. "This didn't mean anything. I already told you..." Before he could finish his thought, I reached into my dresser drawer and pulled out my gun. "Andrew if you say another fucking word, I'll blow your brains out," I said. "Just get the fuck out of my house. Don't stop to get dressed. Just run out of here before I cap your ass." "But Dale, I'm too old to..." he began. the loud clicking sound as I cocked my gun started him moving towards the door. He hesitated as he got near me, but I just pointed the barrel of the pistol at the door and he took off. "Wait a minute," I said. He froze in his tracks, expecting a bullet at any second. "You're forgetting something," I said. "You told me not to dress," he whined. "I was talking about her," I said. "But Dale," she whined. I cut her whining short by shooting just once into the ceiling. As a few bits of plaster rained down on us and they took off. I watched out the window as they ran naked to his truck and then realized they had no keys. They looked back at the house, debating whether or not to try to come in and ask me for the keys. Then they took off running away from the house. As soon as they left, I collapsed. I gave in to the pain and despair that I had been keeping in check since the first moment I had seen them. I was angry, I was hurt, and I was emotionally drained. All I wanted to do was just lie down and go to sleep. I think that I was hoping that it was all a dream. But I didn't. I went out to the shed and grabbed the gas can that we used to fill up the lawn mower. Then I looked around the house until I found Brenda's keys. I drove her car, a Dodge Dart to the gas station up the road. I got one of the boys who worked on the station to drive back to my Mustang with me. Terry was a really nice kid. Brenda and I often socialized with his parents. "Terry, are you still dating Mary Jenkins?" I asked. "Yes sir," he smiled. "Do you have a car yet?" I asked. "No sir," he said. "That's why I'm working at the station. I need to save up money for a car and for spending money for when I go to college in the fall." "Well, it's Friday," I said. "Why don't you keep this one for the weekend?" His smile lit up the Dart's shitty fake Italian interior. As he drove off, he was as happy as if I had given him the keys to the kingdom. I poured the entire five gallon gas can into the Mustang and left the empty can in the trunk. I pumped the accelerator a few times and she started right up. I drove the car home and parked it in its usual spot in the driveway. As I got out of the car, I noticed the flowers and the envelope with the cruise tickets still on the back seat. I took them into the house just to make sure that the flowers didn't rot and ruin my interior. It was funny, but with my car back in the driveway, the house still looked normal. It still looked like a happy couple lived there. Nothing was out of place except for the shitty, busted ass pick up out by the curb. I went inside the house and collapsed onto to the couch again. I sat there staring at the walls for a few moments and then went up to the bedroom and grabbed the asshole's clothes. I threw them out Into the yard and then pissed all over them. I took his keys and pounded them with my small sledge hammer. I distorted them just enough so they wouldn't work. I went through his wallet. He had no credit cards and his driver's license was expired. I left it alone hoping he would go the police about what I had done. As soon as they asked him for ID, they could throw his ass in jail. Then I started packing up Brenda's clothes. I emptied out every closet in the house. She kept clothing in every place she could find to store them. When We first got together, all she had was two pairs of jeans, a pair of shorts, one dress, a blouse, and a sweater. She had a pair of tennis shoes and a pair of cheap heels. That had been her entire wardrobe, except for two pair of panties and one bra. Now she had enough clothing to fill up a house. She had more clothing in eachdrawer of her dresser than she had when we got together. I thought about burning up her clothes, or spreading them all over the lawn and turning on the sprinklers. Then I had a better idea. I picked out two pairs of jeans, a pair of shorts, a really nice blouse, and a beautiful sweater. I put them in a plastic garbage bag. I gathered several pairs of panties, her favorite shoes, her newest tennis shoes, and a couple of bras. I put those into a garbage bag as well. I put both bags in the back of the pickup truck. Then I used a rake to scoop his pissed on clothing into another bag and put his wallet, his keys, and his shoes in with them. I put that in the back of the truck too. At the last minute I got even angrier and threw his clothes back on the lawn and pissed on them again. I went inside the house then, and fell asleep. * * * * * * Brenda I was in shock. I walked as quickly as I could, but I was barefoot and naked. We had to stay behind every tree and bush we could find as we made our way to the home of my closest friend, Karla. She only lived a block away from us. But making it a block, while naked in broad daylight without being seen wasn't easy. We finally got to Karla's place and I knocked on the door, loudly. It took her a few minutes to come to the door. She just stared at me with a shocked expression on her face. "Brenda, what's going on?" she asked. "I need your help," I said. "Of course, Honey," she said. "Where are your clothes? What's going on?" Then for the first time, she noticed Andy behind me. "Hold on," she said. "Who the hell are you?" "I'm Andrew Benson, Ma'am," he said. "I'm..." "Oh shit!" spat Karla. "You're the asshole she was married to before she met Dale." She looked at him up and down. "You used to beat her and cheat on her," she spat. "I was young and dumb, then," he said. "You left her once while she was pregnant," said Karla. "Guilty as charged," he smiled. "You ran out on her and your kids," she said disgustedly. "Can we talk about this inside?" he asked. "You can hide in my backyard," she said. "And don't sit your naked ass on any of my lawn furniture, or I'll call the cops and have you arrested." "But we..." Andy sputtered. "Shut up asshole," hissed Karla. "You're lucky I even let you in my yard. If you say one more fucking word, I'll..." "Andy, just go," I said. I watched as he quickly ran around the side of the house and disappeared into the yard. Karla looked at me suspiciously. "Brenda, what the hell is going on?" she asked. "I thought you hated that asshole. You'd better hope that Dale never hears about..." That was when I broke down and started crying. "He already knows," I sobbed. "He came home and caught us." "Why the hell would you..." she began. Then she shook her head. "Why did you leave with him? You should be at home trying to explain your temporary insanity to your husband, not running around naked with that asshole." "I didn't have a choice," I cried. "Dale threw us both out. I have to wait for him to calm down." "Calm down!" she yelled. "Honey, unlike that asshole in my yard, Dale loves you. You are his whole world. He is never going to calm down." I started crying even more then. "What do you need from me?" she asked. "You know I'll do anything I can to help you." "Can you give us some clothes and let me use your phone to call my kids?" I asked. "You, yeah," she said. "Come on Karla," I said. "I know you still have a lot of George's clothes left." George was Karla's husband. He had died of cancer eight years before. "Brenda, I love you like a sister," she said. "But I won't foul George's clothes by letting that bastard wear them. Karla handed me the phone and went off to find clothes for me. She came back with a sweater that I had always loved to see her wearing. She also brought me a pair of jeans and some panties. The panties fitwell thanks to the elastic waist band and sides. The jeans were a disaster. I couldn't button them. Karla and I were about the same size but her ass was clearly bigger than mine and her waist was smaller. She brought me a wrap skirt to replace the jeans. I couldn't remember my son Jeff's phone number. I called several numbers but none of them were the right one. All of the numbers that I called frequently were stored on my cell phone back at the house. I could tell that Karla was feeling antsy about helping us. She grabbed her keys off of the desk and told me she would drive me to Jeff's house. It was only three miles away. "What about Andy?" I asked. "He can stay in the yard while we're gone," she said. "I don't want him in my car." We made the drive in only a few moments. My daughter, Mindy, was home. She smiled as she opened the door for me. She called Jeff and got him to come home from work. She got a pair of Jeff's pants and a shirt and grabbed their two young kids and got into her small car with me. We followed Karla back to her house. I took the clothing and went into the backyard. Andy is a lot bigger than Jeff. He could barely get the shirt to close over his belly. The pants were so tight that he had to leave them open and just pull the shirt down over the open zipper. Again the belly was the problem. As Andy got into the car, Mindy looked at him and shook her head. She had never met him before and didn't say anything. "Who's that man?" asked my four year old granddaughter Ashley. "I guess he's your grandfather," said Mindy. Ashley looked him up and down as Andy smiled at her. "That's not my Grandpa," she screamed. "My Grandpa is pretty and nice. That's not my Grandpa." She started to tear up. "Ashley, this is your other Grandpa," said Mindy. "I don't want him," screamed Ashley. She started crying which set her two year old sister crying too. If looks could kill, the one my daughter gave me would have resulted in my immediate and painful death. An hour later Mindy and I sat around the table with my oldest daughter, Lauren. My youngest daughter, Shannon would be there in a few minutes. She always came home for the weekend, from her college in Lansing. Jeff had called her and told her to come to his house instead of our home. The Third Time's the Charm Andy was rummaging through Jeff's clothes trying to find something that would fit him better. Lauren kept looking at me, wondering what was going on. I had told her that I wanted to wait until everyone was together before we spoke. "You look like hell, Mom," she said. "Where's Dale? I know he's important to the company he works for but if there's a family emergency, he should be here." She looked at me and then to Mindy who turned away from her. "Oh, shit," gasped Lauren. "He's the cause of all of this isn't he?" Again Mindy pretended to look for something on the floor. Lauren turned red from her anger and slammed her fist on the table. She spilled a glass of juice in the process which caused Ashley to squeal in delight and knock over her own glass of juice on purpose. While that was going on we heard the distinctive rumble of a high powered motor. Lauren jumped up angrily and headed for the door. "Is that Dale?" she asked. "I'm gonna..." "Relax, Honey, that isn't Dale. Although I wish it was. Dale's Mustang is a lot louder than that. That sounds like your sister's car," I said. "What the hell do you mean, you wish it WAS Dale?" asked Lauren. "Mother, there's something wrong with you. You seem to keep picking these assholes that abuse you and for some reason you can't say no to them, but this..." She was interrupted by Mindy's burst of laughter. Lauren glared at her. "Sorry," said Mindy. "But when you find out what's actually going on, you'll realize how ironic what you just said was. You're completely wrong, yet prophetically right, at the same time." "What the fuck are you talking about, Mindy?" asked Lauren, just as Shannon stepped inside the door. "Hi Mom. What's going on?" she asked cheerfully. "Where's daddy?" She looked around for Dale, as if it was a game and he was hiding from her. I knew then that things were not going to go well. I already felt like hell. And I was still in shock. The fact that I had damaged my marriage was still sinking in. At that time I was still under the impression that Dale would sulk for a while and then forgive me and we would work things out. If it was a really big argument, I sent in my big gun. My big gun was of course Shannon. I had known that of my three kids, they were all completely different. I knew that no matter what happened, Jeff would be tough to convince. No matter what happened, he would immediately defend Andrew. As the oldest, he had bonded with Andrew for a longer time. But he was too young to realize how terrible we had it back then and hbad a father Andrew had been. Like many people, he was a victim of seeing the past through Rose colored glasses. Lauren, wouldn't side with either of the men. She was MY daughter. She would side with me no matter what went down or who was right. That left Shannon. And even though Shannon was Andrew's biological daughter, she may as well have been spit out of the end of Dale's dick. If Dale had been reborn as a pretty twenty one year old girl, he would be Shannon. She worshipped the ground he walked on. Shannon would be on Dale's side no matter what. So her looking for him was no surprise. "Mom, where's my Daddy?" she repeated. "I think I need iridium spark plugs and he..." I wanted to explain things before they saw him. "Here, I am Sarah," said Andy coming down the stairs and holding his arms out for a hug. He didn't even remember the name of his youngest child by calling her Sarah instead of Shannon. Only Jeff knew that Andy was in the house. Lauren was shocked and looked at me. Shannon on the other hand was pissed. "Mother, I asked you where my Daddy was, not my sperm donor!" she hissed. "What's going on and why the fuck is he here? Where's Daddy." Andy tried to use his charm to defuse the situation. "I saw you drive up," he said to Shannon. "That is a beautiful car. It's a Mustang, right? Are you going to take your old man out for a ride? I wouldn't mind borrowing..." "My old man has his own Mustang," she said icily. "And the only thing I'd ever loan you is used toilet paper." "Mom, what stupid thing have you done now?" she asked. The intensity in her glare stunned me. Shannon was so much like Dale that unlike her older siblings, I knew that I would not be able to bullshit her. "Dale, hit Mom, so she left him," said Lauren. "He threw her out of the house with nothing but the clothes on her back." "Bullshit," spat Shannon. "You sound ridiculous, Lauren. Every time the two of them get into an argument, he goes out for a drive in his Mustang and then comes back and gives her whatever she wants. And you've seen it happen that way as many times as I have. You just sound stupid!" "Look at her," yelled Lauren. "Get your head out of your ass, sis. Mom is miserable." "I can see that, Lauren," said Shannon. "I also don't think it's a coincidence that she's hurt or upset and HE'S here." She pointed at Andy. Andy who had been moving closer to Shannon took that opportunity to reach for her. "You're upset, Honey," he said. "I think you need a hug." Before he could touch her, Shannon leaped straight backwards several feet and snagged a nasty looking stun gun from her bag. "If you take one more step near me, I'll fry your ass," she hissed. Andy was clearly shocked. "I'm your father young lady," he yelled. "I will not allow that kind of disrespect." "Sarah, why are you so angry at me?" he asked. "First off, my name is Shannon, not Sarah," she said. "And you seem to have forgotten something else beside that. I know first-hand what a piece of shit you are. Lauren and Jeff are older than I am. They were already going to school and away from the house all day. But I saw you hit her. The two of you were arguing and you balled up your fist and punched her in the face, like she was a man." "Sa...Shannon, you have to understand ... we were young. We drank a lot. It was a bad time. Men get..." he said. "What the hell do you know about being a man?" she asked. "Men get off of their asses and get jobs to support their families. Did you ever have a job?" "Men don't beat on their wives and then run away and leave her and their kids to fend for themselves," she said. "At least my Daddy doesn't." "Shannon," he said reaching for her again. He stopped dead in his tracks as she pushed the button and the stun gun crackled loudly. A jagged bolt of electricity shot from one terminal to the next. He jumped back just in time to avoid her electrocuting him. "Bitch!" he yelped. "Asshole," she shot back. Then without taking her eyes off of him or putting down the stun gun, she spoke to me. "Mom, what really happened?" she asked. "It wasn't supposed to happen," I began. "Your Dad came home early. He never does that. Why was he home so early?" "Because today is your anniversary and he was going to surprise you by taking you on a cruise," she spat. I looked at her and saw that she was telling the truth. "Oh Nooo!" I screamed. I felt even worse. My knees buckled under me and it was all I could do not to vomit. "So what happened?" she asked. I noticed that Lauren was also looking at me with a pained expression on her face. Mindy's look was more like disgust. "He found me in our bed ... with your father," I said quietly. "So that's why he hit you?" asked Lauren. "Because you cheated on him with the guy who used to beat you?" "Lauren, Honey, Dale didn't hit me. He never has. He just made Andy and me leave. I need to..." I began. "Can you blame him?" asked Lauren. "Mom you have to do something to make it up to him. I mean he supported you and us for a long time. You could have found a better way to break it to him that you and our father are back together." "Uh, hold on just a minute," said Andrew. "Maybe you should get the kids out of here before we talk." "Andrew," said Mindy. "Honey, you can call me Dad," he said. "I know you're my daughter. But I feel like you're just another one of my daughters." "Okay, Dad," she said. Her voice dripped sarcasm. "Say goodnight to your granddaughters." "Goodnight," he said. "Goodnight who?" she asked. "You've been around them for about three hours now. I've told you their names several times. You've also heard everyone else speak to them. What are your grand daughters' names?" He just stared at her stupidly. "What's my name?" she asked. "I've been away for a while," he sputtered. "So what! I don't know anyone's God damned name. What does that prove?" "I just wanted my husband to know that," she said. She grabbed her daughters' hands in hers and took the girls out onto the porch. "Look," he said. "You guys have the wrong idea, here. Your mother and I are NOT getting back together. I'm not staying. I'm just in town to meet up with someone I met on the internet. I'm just not the family type. You guys, more than anyone else should know that." "Then why did you...?" asked Jeff. He too was shocked and beginning to become upset. "You ruined her life," said Lauren. "Look at her. She looks like a balloon with the air let out of it. She was finally happy and you ruined it for her." "I didn't ruin anything," he spat. "I don't want her. I don't want to mess anything up. I just stopped by like I always do when I'm in town. It ain't my fault that he came home early." "You stopped by for what?" asked Lauren, standing up. "You just said that you don't want her. So why would you stop by?" "I just wanted some pussy," he said. "We're all adults here. Your mom has always been really good in the sack. And she was always willing. I think it was because I was her first. And then there's the fact that we made three babies together, so we..." "So you just stopped by to fuck her like she was some whore?" asked Lauren. "Well, she is a grown woman," he said. She could have said no. But she ain't never been the type to turn anyone down." "Fuck you!" screamed Lauren. Then I saw it. I would never have expected for Shannon to be the one defending Andrew, but she did. "Lauren, calm down," said Shannon. "He didn't force her. Mother has to bear some responsibility for this. You guys just have to work out what happens now." "What do you mean "WE" have to?" asked Lauren. "What about you?" "I'm outta here," said Shannon. "Someone has to try to make my Daddy feel better too. Someone has to go and calm him down and make sure that he doesn't do anything dumb. Mom was his whole world. He's treated her like a damned princess for twelve years. Somebody has to be there for him too. And that's me." "Maybe I should come with you," I said. "I have to tell him that this didn't mean anything. It was just sex. I still want to try to make our marriage work. I need him. I love him," I said. "Maybe in a few days, Mom," she said. My own daughter looked at me with an expression on her face that clearly suggested that she had no intention of ever letting me anywhere near her father again. "Andrew ... sorry we got off on the wrong foot," she said. "I have to go. I have no idea whether or not I'll see you again so if you're going to hug your youngest daughter it had better be now." Shannon is a really pretty girl and when she smiled at him and held out both arms, Andrew stepped into them and hugged her. As he stepped between her arms, Shannon reached behind her and got her stun gun off of the table. She timed it perfectly. Just before he made contact with her, she pressed the device against his upper arm. There was a small flash of light and Andrew went down to the floor. His limbs jerked uncontrollably. He didn'teven have enough control over his body to yell. While he was on the floor, Shannon slapped him several times. She was going to kick him in the nuts but Jeff stopped her. "Shannon, you going to jaildoesn't make any of this better," he told her. "Jeff, get your head out of your ass. This bastard is no hero. And he's no kind of father to any of us. Have you seen the way you love your kids and take care of them? Could you just walk away and leave them?" "Of course not. I'd die first," said Jeff. "Who do you think you learned that from?" she asked. "It sure as hell wasn't that turd on the floor. I can't stay in this house with that asshole while the man who raised me and gave me my sense of values is somewhere, alone and suffering." I'm not sure if she did it on purpose or not, but I did see Shannon smile as she stepped on Andrew's hand while walking to the door. A few moments later and we heard the sound of her car starting up and then she was gone. Mindy came in right after Shannon left. "Jeff, Honey, I love you," she said. "I'm sorry about all of this. Your Mom can sleep on the couch for a few nights, but I want him out of my house as soon as he can get up. I don't want him around the girls. And they don't like him." "Thanks Mindy," I said. "But I'm going to give Dale a few hours to calm down and then I'm going home to work this out with him. He's angry right now, but he'll forgive me." They all looked at me as if I had taken a break from reality. * * * * * * Dale Isat there staring at an unopened bottle of scotch. I'm mostly a beer drinker. I rarely, if ever have the stomach or the taste for harder liquor. But I was debating whether or not to change that. With my life falling apart all around me, it seemed as if the bottle was talking to me. I reviewed what I had done after the incident. I had contacted the lawyer that we always used for family issues. I had him working on the papers even at that moment. He had been shocked out of his mind, but I don't think he was nearly as broken up as I was. Luckily for me, it was a Friday. I had planned on burning some steaks on the grill and spending the weekend with Brenda and our daughter Shannon. Maybe if I was lucky the other kids and the grand kids might drop by too. Suddenly, a wave of pain shot over me. I realized that by losing Brenda, I lost everything. By losing Brenda, not only would I no longer be a husband, I would no longer be a father, or a grandfather either. It just seemed so unfair. I hadn't done anything wrong and I was going to lose everything. I had done everything I could for this family for as long as we'd been together, but now I would lose my kids and my grandkids because of something Brenda did. Suddenly, I saw the entire picture. My last twelve years had all been one huge cosmic joke. I had busted my ass for nothing. I almost felt like crying. Then I felt someone wrap their arms around my neck. She kissed my cheek and then looked at the bottle on the table. "What's that for?" she asked. I didn't say anything. She snatched the bottle and opened it. "Shannon, you're not much of a drinker," I said. "Neither are you," she smirked. "So there's no reason for either one of us to start now." "So you don't consider losing everything, a reason?" I asked. "Daddy, you didn't lose anything," she said. "You're right," I said. "I was really just renting." She looked at me as if I had totally confused her. She sat down across from me and took my hand. "Talk slowly, Daddy," she said. "I had a Physics test this afternoon. If I try to figure things out, I start looking for equations." "Well, when I woke up this morning, I thought I had a wife, kids, and grandkids. I thought I had a wonderful life. But it turned out that none of those things really belonged to me. They were all Andrew's things and I was just maintaining them until he came back for them." She looked at me and shook her head. "Cars and Physics," she said. It was my turn to look at her as if she was speaking another language. "Cars aren't perfect," she said. "You taught me that. When something goes wrong you just troubleshoot things until you find the bad parts. You replace the bad parts and you're back on the road. In physics you look at the problem, figure out what you're looking for, find an equation that gives you what you need and then you plug and chug to get the answer." "But all of the answers come up Andrew," I said. "You guys are Andrew's kids not mine. And when it all comes down to it, he was Brenda's first. Apparently that means he'll always be her first choice." "Well ... Mom never was the sharpest knife in the drawer," she laughed. "Okay, maybe I over simplified things. Maybe this is like the stock market." "Remember when you started that online investment account for me? You put in 200 dollars and the market went up and after only a couple of days I had 250 dollars. I was sure that by the end of the year, I would have a half a million dollars. Then the market took a dive and I only had 112 dollars. Daddy the market is subject to changes. Maybe you still have the things you thought you had. But maybe you just don't have as much." I looked across at her. Shannon was the one I would miss the most. And I told her so. She had made me smile as usual. "Daddy, where am I going that you'll need to miss me?" she asked. "I stopped by Jeff's house and listened to what was going on. This is awful for everyone, but I don't think you're as bad as you think. Mindy doesn't like Andrew so you haven't lost your daughter. Ashley and Misti don't like him so you haven't lost your grandkids. Lauren is on the fence. And so is Jeff surprisingly. Even Mom realizes that she fucked up. And you will never, ever lose me. I shot him with my stun gun!" "Why?" I asked her. "It was a case of mistaken identity," she smiled. "He thought I was HIS daughter. I had to shock some sense into him. Some people think that all you have to do to be a father is have sex with the mother and then run." I hugged her then. "So what are we doing for dinner?" she asked. Shannon and I had a quiet dinner at home. We ordered a pizza and watched a movie. She woke me up the next morning and immediately got my mind off of things by suggesting that we go up to our cottage at the lake. It was a good idea. But we were going to get a late start because we needed to hit the market for food to take up with us. Before we left for the market the phone rang. Shannon answered it and handed the phone to me after saying yep a couple of times. I shook my head to tell her that I didn't want to talk to anyone. She insisted on handing it to me. "Hello," I said. "Hey Dad, I know you're probably still upset about what happened yesterday, but I have a problem," she said. It was my daughter, Mindy. "Ashley and Misti are really confused and upset. They're kids they don't understand what's going on. To tell you the truth, I barely understand what's going on. But I think seeing you would make them feel better." "Shannon and I were going up to the lake today," I said. "Great," she said. "I'll bring sun block. Dad, you do remember that I'm a vegetarian, right? What time are you picking us up?" "In about an hour," I said. I was still smiling when Shannon came back, dressed in shorts and a top. "Dad, there's going to be three of us," she said. "Lauren wants to come too. She's kind of messed up. I told her that today would be a break from the whole situation and we would all agree not to mention it." "We're gonna have to drive the Jeep," I said. "Mindy and the girls are coming too." We had a great afternoon. I took my granddaughters out on the boat. Mindy watched them playing and swimming in the shallow water near the cottage while I got on the grill. After a very late lunch both girls were exhausted and full. They fell asleep on the sofa in the living room. "I understand Shannon's rules for today," Mindy told me. "But no matter how this plays out, you're their grandpa." As we drove home, with everyone except me asleep, my thoughts caught up to me. Before that moment, I had been so busy doing things that the real impact of what I had lost hadn't really hit me. The Third Time's the Charm It had just felt as if Brenda and I were having an argument. We rarely argued, so each one felt like the end of the world. But from the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, this one probably was. This time there would be no chance of me thinking about the situation and giving in. I always gave in because she was more important to me than anything we were arguing over. It almost felt like one of those TV shows where the woman was more attracted to a guy who treated her like shit than she was to the guy next door who really loved her. Well, that was all in the past. Even though my heart told me that it wanted to die. My brain told me that I would survive this and be stronger for it. I just needed to give myself some time. * * * * * * Brenda I woke up feeling as if I hadn't slept at all. The sun was already high in the sky and I felt like shit smells. I'd had the most awful dream. I'd dreamed that Dale had caught me with another man and he'd left me. Before I opened my eyes fully, I reached for him. I opened my eyes then and looked around for him. Then I realized that he was probably already out for his Saturday morning run. He and Shannon would probably like it if I had breakfast ready for them when they got back. Then, I noticed that I wasn't in my bedroom. I was sleeping on a sofa. That was when I screamed out my frustration. My wails of pain brought my son Jeff running into his living room and he wasn't alone. My ex-husband Andy was with him. "Mom, what's wrong?" asked Jeff. He looked really worried about me. I just glared at Andy. "It's about time you woke your ass up," said Andy. "Something you did yesterday must have really worn you out." I immediately hated him even more. "Are you okay, Mom?" asked Jeff again. "Are you in pain?" "I've lost Dale, haven't I?" I asked. Jeff just nodded his head. "But at least you and Dad are back together," he said. "I already told you son; that is not the case. I got a new woman. The one I told ya that I met on that intra web," said Andy. "Your mom is a little long in the tooth for me." Jeff looked at him with confusion written all over his face. "Hey, son, no need to get mad. She don't want me either," said Andy. "She loves that Dale guy. So everything's fine." "So what was yesterday about, then?" asked Jeff angrily. "Yesterday was just about sex," said Andy. "I wanted some pussy. And your mom always was kind of free with hers. You're a grown up now, son. You know how the game works." "Actually Dad, I don't," said Jeff. "Mindy and I don't cheat on each other. You taught me that." "Not me," admitted Andy. "Jeff, your father used to disappear on us all the time, remember?" I asked. Jeff just stood there looking at us. "Anyway," said Andy. "We need to go by your place and get my stuff. And we need to do it before Jeff's little wife comes back. I guess your sisters will probably be back then too. I'd rather avoid all three of them." "Before they get back from where?" I asked. "Mindy and the girls went up to the cottage for the day with Dale and Shannon. Lauren went along too," said Jeff. "Why didn't you wake me?" I said angrily. "Mom, you cried yourself to sleep last night," he said. "And I kind of wouldn't have been able to get Dad over here otherwise. Mindy and I had a long talk last night. She doesn't want Dad over here. I guess he and the girls didn't really hit it off." "That's not unusual," said Andy. "I hate the shit out of kids and they don't like me much either. It's not fatal." "But I need to talk to Dale," I whined. "You have the rest of your life to talk to him," said Andy. "I need to get my stuff and my truck out of there while he's away. And I really don't want to have to spend a lot of time around your daughters, either. Laurie spent the entire evening giving me hurt looks. And the little one Shanna ... I still can't believe that little bitch TASERED me. Her own father!" "Shannon has always been the kind of woman who does what she wants when she wants to," said Jeff. "I know my sister. And she was pissed at you as soon as you walked in." "What about the other one?" Asked Andy. "Lauren tends to side with whatever makes mom happy," said Jeff. "So at first, she was on your side. But once she heard the way you talked about Mom and then saw how hurt Mom was about Dale, you got on her shit list too. I think with Lauren, she's mostly kind of disappointed with you. Over the years we kind of built up an image of you. And maybe the reality doesn't live up to her fantasy." "What about your wife? Can't you control your woman?" he asked. "We're husband and wife," said Jeff. "We're equal partners, not slave, and owner. She makes up her own mind about things. Usually we look at what's good for our kids." "Well ... we've already covered me and kids," he smiled. "So do you have your house keys handy?" asked me. "No," I said. "We were both kind of naked when he threw us out of the house, remember?" "Yeah, I remember," he said. "I still can't believe he got that pissed off. I wouldn't have been and I was your first love. You belong to me. Shit, we have three God damned kids together and I don't care about him fucking you. He needs to learn how to share and take turns." I just looked at him in shock. I wondered how I could have ever risked losing Dale over an asshole like him. The problem was that when it came to Andy, my body just took over. There was something about him that just overwhelmed me. My mind and my heart knew that Dale was a better man and he loved both me and my kids far more than Andy was capable of. But when Andy and I got together, something just happened. The odd thing about it was that sex with Andy wasn't better. It may have been more intense, but it was far shorter and far less satisfying. I just couldn't understand why the man was able to get me to do whatever he wanted. It was just a chemical thing. As I thought about it more and more, the angrier I got. I'm a forty-sevenyear old woman. My marriage to Dale had been the best time of my life. He had treated me far better than Andy ever had. I was a completely different person. I was more confident and I wasn't worried about my husband being drunk and wanting to punch me around. Dale treated me like I was precious and over the past twelve years he'd also had a lasting impact on my kids as well. He thought of them as his kids. He'd helped me to turn Jeff's life around during his teens. I don't think I could have done it. And now Jeff was a husband and father. Dale had even gotten Jeff the job he had. Dale was actually still paying part of Lauren's rent. She had moved into an apartment that was more than she could afford with her waitressing job. He was constantly trying to get her to go back to school and I swear he was winning. She had mentioned night classes at the local community college a couple of times now. I think another thing that had made her consider it was Shannon. Shannon, if it was possible, was more Dale's daughter than mine. Shannon was younger than the other two and didn't remember Andy ever being anything other than a mean drunk. From the first time she crawled into Dale's lap he owned her heart completely. There was never a question about Shannon going to college or even what she would study. She's the first person in our family to go to college and she's going into Engineering. Thinking about Shannon made me realize that I had an edge. There was simply no way that Dale would walk away from Shannon. But then Shannon had pretty much let us know yesterday which side she would be on if there sides chosen. The three of us got into Jeff's SUV and headed for the house. As the truck started to move I noticed a scraping sound. "Sorry about the noise," Jeff told us. "Dad ... I mean Dale was going to help me do my brakes this weekend, but..." He shrugged his shoulders. "Hey Dad, maybe we could do it," he said. "I wouldn't plan on that," said Andy. "I don't know shit about cars. Why not just take it to a shop?" "Because I have two small kids and a large mortgage eating up my paycheck," said Jeff. "I need to save every penny." "From what I've seen, your kids are kind of spoiled," said Andy. "And the bank won't cancel your mortgage over one missed payment." Jeff didn't say anything. But the look he had on his face told me that his father was beginning to get on his nerves. As we pulled in front of the house, I noticed now beautiful it was. And it was beautiful because of me. Dale had always let me do whatever I wanted to the house. The flower beds in front of the house, with their small borders that looked like white picket fences, were my idea. Filling the flower beds with a different kind of flowers every year; was also me. This year they were begonias. It seemed like every time we came out to do the yard, someone complimented us on it. "Hey, Mom, the yard looks good," said Jeff. I don't think he understood why I started crying. "I'm surprised," smiled Andy. "I kind of expected him to fuck my truck up." "You mean he didn't?" asked Jeff. "It always looked like that?" "He was a little mad though," said Andy. "He threw my clothes all over the yard." "Hey, I found your keys," said Jeff. Andy was wandering around the yard picking up clothing. He picked up his jeans, his shirt and his underwear and socks. He found one tennis shoe and looked for the other. As I got close to him I noticed the stench coming from the pile of clothes he carried. "Uh, I think someone peed on your clothes, Andy," I said. "No shit!" he said. "I can wash them back at Monica's place. She's an expert at washing clothes. She has this black dress that she's washed hundreds of times but still can't get the stain out of. But she seems to be able to wash anything else." I had no idea what he was talking about. "Jeezus, you have a lot of clothes," said Jeff. "What the hell are you talking about?" asked Andy. "All I have are the clothes in this bundle." "All of those bags on the porch are filled with clothes too," said Jeff. "There must be fifteen or twenty bags of clothes." "Why the hell would anyone need that many clothes?" asked Andy. Suddenly I didn't feel well at all. As I ran to the porch I knew what I would find. And there they were bag after bag of MY clothes. Dale hadn't damaged anything or peed on them, but his message was clear. I sat down on the porch, too weak to stand up. "What the fuck is going on?" screamed Andy angrily. "My keys don't work." He tried both keys and neither would turn the lock. "I'll have to use the secret entrance," he said. He ducked under the truck and pushed the rotted floor pans up. He sat down in the seat and rolled down the window. Then he put the key in the ignition and it wouldn't turn. "Shit, look at this," he spat. "The bastard hammered my keys. It's kind of funny though. I hammered his pussy, so he got me back. We'll have to call a locksmith." "I ain't got locksmith money, yet," said Andy. "Shit," said Jeff. "First it was my clothes, now you want money." Andy just smiled at him. We had to wait on the porch for nearly an hour for the locksmith to get there. Once he got there, he wouldn't even look at the truck until Jeff gave him a credit card. Then he opened the truck and even made Andy another key. The problem came when the truck refused to start. The locksmith assured him that the key worked perfectly. And it did. It opened the door smoothly and easily and the ignition switch turned to the on position very easily as well. The truck just wouldn't start. We had to call a tow truck after that. We followed the truck to the station and as luck would have it, the mechanic was able to start on the truck right away. After another half hour of the three of us staring at each other, we were called into the shop. The old mechanic had a look on his face that told us the repairs were going to be expensive. He told us that it would cost more to fix the truck than it was worth. Andy had been driving with the truck running far hotter than it should have. He hadn't changed the oil since God knew when. He also admitted that he'd been getting jump starts from everyone he could on his way back home. The truck needed a new engine, a new battery, and possibly a transmission. A used engine would run 7 or 8 hundred dollars, plus the labor to install it. A transmission would probably cost more. The truck was only worth 5 or 6 hundred dollars. The parts were worth more than the truck. None of that seemed to surprise Andy though. "I guess I'll have to borrow your car, while I'm here," he said. "Andy, my keys are in the house. I can't get inside to get them if I was going to lend you my car. And I have no intention of letting you borrow it," I said. "Why not?" he asked. "Because you've already ruined my life. Lending you a car that Dale bought me would only make things worse between us. Besides, his name is on the loan. If he found out about you driving it, he'd report it stolen and one of ourover-zealous police officers would probably shoot you," I said. "Besides, we can't get in the house to get the keys." "Sure we can," he said. "We could just go around the back and you could knock out a window. Even if we get caught, you live in the house too." "No!" I said. "We're not doing it. And if YOU try it I'll call the police on you myself." "Fuck you Brenda," he spat. "You were only good for one thing anyway." "Well," I said. "I guess that makes me more like you now. Because since I've come to my senses, you won't ever get that one thing from me again. So as far as you're concerned that makes me good for nothing, like you." He burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" I asked. "You," he said. "We both know that all I have to do is snap my fingers and you'll be on your back with your legs spread, waiting for me." The drive back home was silent. We were almost back to Jeff's house when Jeff spoke up. "Uh, Dad, where do you want me to take you?" Andy just glared at him. "That bitch really has you pussywhipped, doesn't she? Are you sure you're my kid? That little sister of yours has more balls than you do. Make a left at the next corner," said Andy in disgust. Andy directed us through the streets until we got to a house. The name on the mailbox was McMurray. Suddenly I burst out laughing. "What's so God damned funny?" growled Andy. "Your new woman is Monica-Lou Inski?" I said. "She's over fifty and weighs close to three hundred pounds. She got arrested last year for stalking a guy she met at a bar." "So what," he growled. "Most of that weight is ass and tits. I could point out that you have neither of those. Maybe if you did, I wouldn't get boredwith you so quickly and we'd still be together." "You seem to keep coming back to me often enough," I said. "There haven't been too many years that you haven't dropped by at least two or three times." "That's only when I'm between relationships. And you're better than jacking off," he spat. "Face it woman, you're pretty much a whore. I'll bet anyone can fuck you. I feel kind of sorry for Dale." "That's not true!" I screamed. "I admit to cheating with you. But that was because you andI were together for so long and I loved you so much. We have three children together. You were my first. That creates bonds that are hard to break. But I swear that's over now." "Don't even start that shit," he smiled. "I happen to know there were a couple of others. Do you want me to start naming names?" "Just get out of the car," I yelled. Andy got out of the car and stood by the door. He gestured for me to roll down the window. Then he pointed at his dick and snapped his fingers, before turning to go inside of Sheila's house. The drive back to Jeff's house was silent. Neither of us said a word and we didn't even make eye contact. Jeff's house was really nice but it was small. I clearly couldn't stay there for very long. And more to the point, I couldn't stay away from Dale for very long. Just before I sank into another fit of depression, I heard a motor start behind the house. I looked out the window to see Jeff cutting his lawn. I rushed out the back door and waved at him. He waved back but he didn't look at me. I walked over to him and noticed that no matter which way I tried to approach from, he turned his head. I finally just went over to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. He turned off the mower and faced me. The anger written all over his face shocked and frightened me. "Jeff, Honey, I'll leave now if you want," I said. "I don't know what I did to make you so angry but..." "It's not you, mom," he said. His voice was all choked up. The emotions in his voice were so strong and his pain was so obvious that my heart broke for him. "I've lived most of my life as a fool. I've been so stupid, mother," he said. "I've spent most of my life hoping and waiting for my father to come. No matter how good orhow patient Dale was with us, it was never enough. There was nothing he could do to measure up to my real father. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, I never thought he was as good." I saw tears running down his cheeks. "He kept trying, mother," he said. "He never gave up. But I kept thinking that fucking monster was my real father when all along..." "It's okay Jeff," I said. "He was always helping me," he sobbed. "And he never asked for anything. And he loves my kids, mom. My kids are smarter than I am. They know who their grandfather is. And you've ruined it for all of us." "Shhh," I said hugging him. "It's going to be okay, Jeff." "I don't want my kids growing up, thinking that asshole is their grandfather," he sobbed. "Jeff you said it yourself, Dale is their granddad. He's not going to walk out of those kids' lives. No matter what stupid things I've done," I said. "You can bet on it. Just like you can bet on the fact that Shannon isn't going to let him get away from her." Jeff finished the lawn with me sitting on the porch watching him. As I absent mindedly watched my thoughts were a million miles ... okay 80 miles away at the cabin with the rest of my family. I had been blessed. I had a husband who loved me and cherished me. I had three great kids, a great daughter and two wonderful grandkids. I had a beautiful home and everything that went with it, yet I had risked it all to cheat on my husband with a man who treated me like shit. During our time together, Andy had hit me multiple times, cheated on me, and left me several times. He'd even left me once while I was pregnant with Shannon and came back after he was done doing whatever he did. From watching a lot of daytime TV women's shows, I saw similarities between myself and some of their cases. If I were a guest on one of those shows, a psychologist would have diagnosed me as either having a very low sense of self esteem; so low in fact, that I felt I didn't deserve to have anyone treat me well. Or that I had the bad boy syndrome. I simply loved the danger and excitement of having a man who was simply too wild to be corralled by society's rules and norms. As far as my cheating on Dale was concerned, that was easy. Andy had cheated on me and hurt me so much that it twisted me. I started to feel that cheating was the norm. So I had cheated on Andy too. Then when I married Dale, maybe I figured that it was only a matter of time before he cheated on me too. So I cheated first. After a while, I began to feel that what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. The thing that I was the most ashamed of was the fact that I had cheated on Dale repeatedly and that Andy wasn't the only one. With Andy, it was a case where we had a shared history. He was my first real love and I had never been able to say no to him. The others had simply been crimes of opportunity. The one true fact in all of this that gave me some glimmer of hope could be boiled down to one word ... Love. I could see now that although there was a strong attraction between Andy and I, I didn't love him. I loved Dale with all of my heart. I was very sure that once he understood that, we could get some counseling and fix me. Then we could go forward into our future and put all of this behind us. We had too much to lose. We have a wonderful family, it seemed impossible for us not to make it. The Third Time's the Charm Sometime during the afternoon, Jeff went out and got KFC for both of us. We sat on the porch eating without very much conversation. I noticed that Jeff had driven Mindy's car to go get the chicken instead of his SUV, but I didn't bring it up. The only thing we did talk about was the kids and how fast they were growing and the weather. We also talked about what I had done with the yard at home. But that conversation turnedinto a dead end when I started to talk about my plans for the future. Jeff suddenly looked at me as if I was a fool for even thinking I had a future where things as trivial as yard work mattered. After that we didn't talk much. Sometime just after dark, I was beginning to get drowsy, when what we'd both been waiting for happened. Dale's jeep pulled up almost silently compared to his and Shannon's Mustangs. Lauren got out and hugged Dale and said something to him. Mindy did the same and each of them grabbed one of the sleeping girls from the back seat. Shannon neither got out of the jeep nor looked at the house. I had expected them to all come up to the house. I had hoped that Dale and I could talk. When Dale got back inside of the jeep, I suddenly realized, that it wasn't going to happen. I got to my feet and started walking quickly towards the jeep when it took off. He hadn't rushed, nor had he dawdled. I almost thought that he either hadn't seen me or simply didn't care as he drove off. I walked back to the porch feeling even worse than I had before. As I got to the porch and Lauren handed the sleeping form of Ashley to her dad, I heard her speak to him. "Hey, Jeff, Dad apologized for not being here today to help you with your brakes. He got the parts a couple of days ago and told me to tell you that you guys could do it tomorrow if you wanted." "Seriously?" asked Jeff. "With everything that's going on he thought about my frigging brakes?" Lauren just nodded and Jeff just shook his head and went inside the house leaving Lauren and me alone. Lauren's arrival pulled me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay, Mom?" she asked. "Not really," I told her. "I'm having trouble processing the fact that something that meant so little to me, could cause me this much pain." Her look told me that she didn't understand it. "So is he that much better?" she asked. "Actually, he isn't as good," I admitted. Her look then was even more confused. "So you love him more, then?" she asked. "I don't actually love Andy at all. I kind of hate him, if you really want to know," I said. "Mom, I don't understand," she said. "Don't you love Dale?" "With all my heart," I said trying to hold back my sobs. Normally Lauren was on my side no matter what. She was a mama's girl. She could always be counted upon to put her arm around me,give me a hug and tell me everything would be alright. "Then why would you do that?" she asked. "I love you, Mom. But I just don't get this. There has to be a reason why you did it. We had a family, and a very good one. Sure I can understand your ex husband coming to town and you want to see him. Or maybe he wants to see his kids. Some fathers are like that. Not ours apparently, but some of them. So Mom, I could see you having him over for dinner or a barbecue. But this I don't understand. "I guess I didn't give it any thought. Because I never thought he'd find out," I sobbed. "Mom, leaving home without your grocery list is not giving something a thought. When a woman who is married fucks some other guy, it takes some thought." she said angrily. I just stated at her. Her outburst was totally unprecedented. Lauren was the gentlest and least aggressive of my kids. I had never heard her raise her voice. "Lauren, Baby, it's going to be fine," I told her. Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, because she went berserk. "What the fuck do you mean it's going to be fine?" she screamed. "You haven't seen him. He is shattered, mother. If Shannon wasn't there, I think he would have just folded up and died. Every time he looked at me or Mindy or the girls, I got the impression that he was trying to memorize our faces because he was sure he would never see us again." "So, Mom, are you going to do all of the stuff that Dale does for us, or is our biological father going to take over? Somehow I doubt that bio-dad is going to be much help. I mean how is he going to help Jeff with his car and help me when he really can't even remember my name?" I had no idea what to say to her. "I'm going to fix this, Lauren," I said. I had no idea how I was going to do it. But I was sure that I would. No matter what it took, I would put my family back together again. I had an even worse night. It seemed as if trying to get a good night's sleep without Dale's arms wrapped around me wasn't possible. I heard Jeff on the phone early in the morning and went out in the hall to see what was going on. "Jeff are you going over to the house?" I asked. He just nodded at me. "Good," I said. "I'm going with you." The look Igave him and the tone in my voice let him know that arguing with mewas not going to be a good thing. Twenty minutes later we were in his truck, heading home and I had no idea what I was going to say to my husband. Somehow, I'm sorry didn't seem strong enough. Nothing I could think of seemed to truly convey what I wanted to say to him. I wished that I could make up new words that would express what I felt but some things are just behind words. We pulled up in front of the house ... my house or at least it had been for the past twelve years. My flower beds needed to be weeded. That had been my intention. I'd planned on doing it while Dale cut the grass this weekend. He still hadn't cut the grass, yet. But he'd gone up to the cottage yesterday so he hadn't had a chance to do it yet. I got out of the truck, just as the garage door opened. Jeff eased the truck forward into the garage. With the brakes protesting loudly all the way. "Mom, why are you here?" I heard Shannon's voice over my shoulder. "I ... I ... I wanted to talk to your dad and..." I stuttered as I faced the scrutiny of my youngest child's intense gaze. "Now isn't a good time," she said. "Come on I'll take you back to Jeff's." "What do you mean, now isn't a good time?"'I asked her. "Mom he needs time to heal and get over this. He needs time to get his head on straight, so he can think clearly. He doesn't need you stirring his emotions back up." "But I only wanted to..." I began. "Mom, we've had quite enough of what you wanted lately," she said. "Now let me take you back to Jeff's before things get even worse." Shannon and I drove back to Jeff 'a house in her Mustang. The whole way there I tried to make conversation. She didn't say much until we got to Jeff's drive way. "Mom, I have to go back to school this evening," she said. "Lauren and Mindy will take turns checking on Daddy until I come back next weekend. I'll call him during the day and in the evenings. We have this covered. I just need you to stay away from him and give him some space for a while." * * * * * * Dale I don't think I'd have made it through that first weekend if it weren't for Shannon. She had always been my sidekick and confidant, but that weekend was a whole new level. It was as if our roles were reversed. She was the parent and I was I her child who was going through a difficult growing phase. She kept me busy, kept me engaged and kept my mind off of my problems. For that weekend, she made sure that I was around all of the family, but also managed to make sure that none of them mentioned what was going on between their mother and me. When I thought back on it later, it reminded me of the few times during our marriage that Brenda and I were away from each other. Usually it was because either I had to travel for business or she had to visit out of town family. I also began to wonder how many times she had cheated on me during those visits. It was strange but over the course of a few days I had gone from loving Brenda more than life itself and trusting her with my heart, my soul, and all of my love; to not wanting to see or be around her and only trusting her as far as I could throw an elephant. In those first few days I spent a lot of time crying. I'm a man. We don't cry. But that's what I did. I didn't do it around anyone else. But that's what I did. I cried so much I didn't have to pee for days. And in the end, I cried myself out. I cried for the loss of my innocence. I cried for the loss of my idyllic life. I cried for the loss of love and trust between us. But most of all I cried for the loss of my family. Over twelve years we had built a bond that I'd always thought would be difficult to break. But all it took was a chance and the pretender was exposed for what he ... I was. I was a husband without a wife. I was a father without any children. Everything I prided myself on belonged to someone else. Although technically, Brenda and I were legally married. A legal marriage is only a piece of paper. It means about as much as the vows she broke. And biologically, none of the kids were mine. I was sure that Andy would reclaim all of them, simply by showing up. It had taken me twelve years to gain a position of importance in the lives of Jeff and Lauren. Jeff had been a particularly tough nut to crack. He and I had gone through our battles. I had heard the old "you can't tell me what to do, you're not my father," more times than I can count. It had taken years of being forgotten or ignored when things were going well and being the first person called when he was in trouble to make a dent. And through it all, there were always the barely heard remarks that always let me know I would never be as good at anything as his dad. I had the truly unenviable task of competing with a memory. In Jeff's memory, Andy was infallible, unbeatable, invulnerable, and immortal. No human being could have successfully competed with that. So I didn't try. I just did my best to be there when he needed me and stay out of his way when he didn't. No one was more surprised than me, when he came up to me and said "Dad, I'm going to marry Mindy. You've always been there for me. I want you to be my best man." We'd grown closer ever since. That was until Andy came back to claim his throne. Lauren was a different kind of challenge. She was quiet and distant. Her only concern was that her mother be happy. It took a while for her to see that I wasn't out to use Brenda and then leave her. She also had to see that I would never hurt her mom in any other way. After that I had to get to know Lauren herself. I encouraged her. I became her biggest cheerleader whether she was right or wrong. I don't think it mattered much to Lauren who was with Brenda, as long as Brenda was happy and treated well. Shannon was different. She was on my side from the very beginning. So Shannon electing to stay with me didn't surprise me at all. What did surprise me was the vehemence that she went after Andy with though. But I'd be lying if I said that it hadn't pleased me. Even when she went back to school, Shannon took care of me. She called me every morning and every evening, just to make sure I was okay and making progress in getting over the situation. She was also concerned with keeping me the way she thought I should be. She, more than me, was responsible for me keeping my distance from Brenda early on. "Daddy, you're not strong enough to face her yet," she would tell me. That was followed by days of, "Daddy, you're too angry to face her right now." She also understood more than I would have given her credit for, why I needed to see a lawyer. And truthfully, Shannon was the reason why three weeks after I had caught her, I sat down with Brenda for the first time. We met at a restaurant that I knew she loved. She got there early, and was already seated, when I arrived. Brenda isn't the most attractive woman in the world. She doesn't have a world class body or a face that can launch a thousand ships. She's just your typical housewife. But I loved her so much that seeing her again almost brought tears to my eyes. As soon as I sat down across from her she handed me a napkin. "Brenda, I'm not a messy eater," I said. "After twelve years you should know that." "I do know that, Dale," she said. "After twelve wonderful years I know everything about you. So I know that as soon as you saw me your eyes teared up." "I just had something in my eye," I said indignantly. She laughed at that. Her smile as she looked at me across the table reminded me of what I was about to lose. I was so busy thinking about all of the good times we'd had and all of the things we'd done together, that I zoned out. I realized suddenly that a life or a marriage isn't really measured by the good times as much as it is by the bad times and how you handle them. Any couple can handle good times. You can have fun on vacations or holidays with total strangers. But it takes a strong couple that really loves each other to make it through the dark days. The times when you have to put aside your personal wants and work together are what really make or break a marriage. I suddenly realized that the waiter was talking to me. I looked at the menu he held out to me and shook my head. I ordered for both of us and noticed Brenda just sitting there across from me and smiling. "You haven't done that since the first time we went out," she laughed. "You just sat there staring at me and totally zoned out. I thought that here was something wrong with you. But back then, I thought there was something wrong with every man." "I remember," I said. "You told me that I was beautiful and I almost fell off my chair," she said. "No one had ever told me that before. I thought it was a line of shit. I knew what I looked like. I also knew that at thirty-five years old, my best days were past me or so I thought. I knew I wasn't beautiful. During my prime, I had been described as "cute." I was never called "pretty," or "hot," just "cute." I was a chunky, over thirty woman with three kids. What man in his right mind would want to be saddled with that?" She shrugged her shoulders and kept staring at me as if she was seeing me for the first time. "I just couldn't see what you saw in me," she said. "I mean we'd already had sex before our first date, so I just didn't see where flattering me would gain you anything. It took me a while before I figured out that you were really in love with me. I never did figure out why. I just accepted it and went with it. You were too different from every other guy I had ever been with. Dale you treated me like I mattered and made me feel special." "Because you are," I told her. "So after we eat, let's go home so I can make you feel special," she said. "We can make..." "No, Brenda," I interrupted her. "That's not why we're here." "Dale, I don't want to talk about this, now. It's stupid and depressing. I miss you. I love you so much. I've already told you that I'm sorry and it won't happen again. What more can I say?" "Brenda, I don't expect you to say anything," I said. "I only set up this meeting because Shannon thought..." "What does Shannon have to do with this?" she asked angrily. "And when did this become a meeting? I thought this was a date!" "Look, Shannon thought that I should give you a heads up about what's going on," I said. "She said that I had always tried to do things the right way. So I wanted to warn you, so this didn't just come at you out of the blue." "So what didn't come at me out of the blue?" she asked. She stood up and her voice had steadily gotten louder. "I've gone to see a lawyer about us getting a divorce," I said calmly. "You did what?" she screamed. Every head in the restaurant around us turned towards her. She noticed it and lowered her voice. "Dale, my bad," she said. "I've already told you that I was wrong. I fucked up. It won't happen again. This isn't that serious. I'll do whatever it takes to make it better." I just shook my head. "Dale, we're talking about sex, nothing more. So what, I let some guy fuck me. I wasn't a virgin when we met. There had been more guys before you than I can even remember. I just don't understand what the big deal is." "Apparently it's not a big deal to you," I said. "But I guess we saw it differently. In my way of seeing it, I married you because I loved you so much that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted you to be mine; forever. That was the point of those vows we took." "I am yours, stupid," she said. "I just didn't know you were that serious about the whole thing. So I gave Andy some pussy. It's not like I can run out. There's still plenty for you, Honey, and you know..." "I know that you don't have to worry about whether or not I get any," I said. "And from now on you can give it to whoever you choose because I won't be in the way. You won't have to worry about me showing up and interrupting you. You'll be free to do whatever you want and give yourself to anyone you want." "Dale, I only want to give myself to you," she said. "I love you. It was only one time. It was a slip. Andy and I did make three kids together. Three kids that you love as much as I do, so..." "So now you've started lying to me too," I said. "This wasn't the first time you've cheated on me. And I doubt that Andy is the only one. So why not be honest about it. Obviously you can't. I guess the woman that I thought I married doesn't really exist." "I guess, I thought I married a man who loved me enough to forgive a few stupid mistakes," she said. "In the end all of you are just the same. All you care about is your own whims and wishes. Andy liked to fuck me, just like you do. The only difference between you is what happens when the fucking is over." I looked at her like she was crazy. I saw no similarities between him and me. "When Andy is done with me, he goes off and fucks other women. He doesn't give a damn what I do or who I do it with, as long as I'm there so he can get his when he wants it. If I do something he doesn't like, he beats the shit out of me and stays pissed at me for a few days," she said. "You on the other hand treat me like a fucking queen. But you expect me to stay locked up and save myself for you alone. Dale it feels so good to know that you love me that much. It feels so warm and fuzzy to know that me screwing someone else hurts you. But I'm a human being. I'm going to fuck up from time to time." She reached across the table and took my hand. "Dale, in some ways you're worse than Andy ever was. You make me feel all special and then when I slip, you want to end things. I can understand punishing me. Dale I think you should take me home and beat my ass bloody. But throwing away twelve good years over something that doesn't matter is stupid. I don't think you'll do it." "Brenda, I'm glad you have such a high opinion of yourself. It's good to see that over the years your sense of self esteem has skyrocketed. But I didn't ask you to come to this meeting to decide whether or not I wanted a divorce. I just called you here to let you know that it was coming," I said. "Dale, Honey, I love you more than you'll ever know," she said. "You love me too. You love me so much that you always give in to me. And you're going to this time too. You always give in because I'm more important to you than whatever we argue over. But this time the stakes are too high. I could make you just live with what I did, but I love you too, Honey. If I have to I'd sew my pussy shut, but then you wouldn't get any either. But we both know that you aren't going to divorce me, no matter what happens because you have too much to lose." The Third Time's the Charm "It's not just me you'd give up," she said. "Remember when you asked me to marry you? I told you that I was a package deal. If you married me, you married my kids too. If you divorce me, you lose them too. So you have to choose, Dale. You can choose to forgive me and try to work this out. I promise you, that I'll make you glad you forgave me. In time you won't even remember this. Or you can choose to walk away from me, our kids, and our family. You can choose to be a husband and a father, with a wife who loves you. Or you can choose to be a lonely old man with nothing but your rules and your morality to keep you warm at night." Neither of us was really hungry after that. I left money including a generous tip and left the restaurant. * * * * * * Brenda The meeting at the restaurant had stunned me. I had reacted by attacking. The best defense is a good offense after all. I felt awful about doing it, but I had to use what I had to do to keep my man. It sounded funny to me. I had never been able to keep any man during my life. Hell I'd spent most of my life just trying to get them; whether they were mine, single, or someone else's. I did everything I could just to offer them the temporary usage of that furry patch between my legs. And most of them were gone almost immediately after getting it. Sure they often came back occasionally, but only two of them had ever wanted it or me on a regular basis. Andy just wanted to drop by and get his dick wet occasionally. Over the last few years, he showed up once or twice a year. It always started out as a casual thing, just running into the ex who happened to be in town. It always ended up with us in bed. And I knew it was wrong, but it never became a problem until we got caught. Andy was no threat to us. Dale had to see that. After I had been with Andy, my guilt drove me to give Dale even more sex than normal if that was possible. It also always made me realize just how blessed I was to have Dale in my life. Of course, my threat against him was groundless. My kids were adults. There is no way I could tell them what to do or who to do it with. And anyone trying to keep Shannon away from Dale would be in trouble. I was sure that I couldn't do it. I didn't think anyone could. And Andy interacting with my older two, had done nothing but convince them of how much better Dale had treated us over the years. Everything I said at the restaurant had been a desperate bluff. Over the next few days nothing happened. I didn't call Dale, though I longed to, because I had to give him time to make his choice. I hoped against hope that his love for me and his love for our family would win out against his stupid male pride. I missed my house. I missed my life. But more than anything else, I missed my husband. As much as I was grateful for a place to stay, I was beginning to hate being in Jeff and Mindy's tiny house. Anyway, one morning about four days after the meeting in the restaurant, Mindy came into the kitchen to get me. "Brenda, there's a woman here to see you," she said. I walked out into the living room and saw a young woman sitting on the sofa. She smiled at me and exposed a mouth full of teeth so white that she could have done tooth paste commercials. I hated her on sight. She was one of those tall blond types that seemed to defy biology. Her hair was very long and wavy with a shade that was too perfect to be natural. Her eyes were so blue they made me dizzy. Her boobs weren't huge, but they looked to be slightly too big for her frame. And her legs were so long that they seemed unnatural. Then she stood up and I could see the way that the whole package fit together and hated the bitch even more. She reached out to shake my hand and then asked me my name. When I told her who I was, she pulled out a small card and looked from it to me. She cracked her gum several times and nodded her head. Then she handed me the card that I recognized as my own driver's license. Then she reached into her slim metallic briefcase and handed me a stack of papers cracking her gum again. "You've been served, Brenda," she said warmly. Then she cracked her gum again, picked up her briefcase and headed for the door, "Served what?" I asked. I looked at the sheaf of papers and realized that Dale had made his choice. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my pain went off of the charts. I didn't understand any of the papers. I realized then that I needed a lawyer. The stack of papers contained information that would allow me to contact Dale's attorney. I took a chance and called the number on the card. I spoke with a woman that I assumed was the attorney's secretary. I was wrong. The woman was Dale's attorney. She was actually a little miffed about me mistaking her for a secretary. I began to wonder what she looked like, and why she was so eager to help Dale divorce me. Things got really snippy on the phone between us. I'm not sure whether it was her blatant sarcasm, or my downright hostility, but by the time she told me for the third time that she couldn't help me, I just slammed the phone down. "Are you okay?" asked Mindy. "No, I'm not," I told her. "Dale has some husband stealing bitch as a lawyer. I may have to track her down and kick her ass. Maybe I'll kick his ass too. He knows how I feel about other women hanging all over my man. I went through that shit with Andy. Every time I turned around, he had some new waitress hanging on his arm. And he always claimed that they were only friends." "Has Dale ever cheated on you?" she asked. I just started laughing. "Of course not," I laughed. "Dale loves me like there's no tomorrow." "Yet, you cheated on him," she said. She just shook her head. "Doesn't it seem kind of ironic for you to be jealous of him hiring a woman as his lawyer, after what you did?" She left the room with me still thinking about what she'd said. For the rest of the day, it just felt as if I was floating above the ground and not walking on it. Nothing seemed real. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Dale and I weren't just having an argument. He was going to court in order to legally remove himself from my life. This was also my second divorce. When I divorced Andy, it had been fun. It was just a legal formality I'd gone through so I could marry Dale. Andy had signed some papers. He'd been glad to. The papers gave him the freedom to marry someone else if he wanted to. Or at least to list himself as single and have it stand up in court. He had also been able to sign papers so that he was no longer responsible for child support for our three kids. Not that he'd ever given me a cent anyway, but now he was no longer legally required to do so. I was surprised later on that afternoon when Shannon called me. I got the impression from talking to her that Dale had gotten her to check on me. He'd probably known that the papers were going to be served on me that day and wanted to make sure I was okay. What angered me was that my twenty one year old daughter knew more about the divorce procedure and what we were doing than I did. Shannon was the one who told me that I should get a lawyer of my own. She was also the one who told me that Dale hadn't canceled any of my credit cards or accounts. She told me that until we agreed to a settlement, I had full usage of the household accounts and that Dale expected me to use some of that money to get myself a lawyer. Shannon explained to me what Dale was going through and what he wanted. He wasn't trying to get revenge on me or humiliate me. According to her, he loved me just as much as ever, but I had just broken his heart. Dale, on his own, had spoken to a counselor. He wasn't angry at me. He had no intention of filing for the divorce under adultery or anything that would shame me. Michigan is a no fault state. He just didn't want to be married to me anymore. He would keep the house, since it had been in his family for three generations. He was also keeping his lake front property because it had also been his long before we married. Everything including cash and investments that had accrued since we got married would be split fifty/ fifty. As soon as we made the settlement agreement, Dale would write me a check. He preferred to just give me one check as opposed to regular payments so I could use the money to find a place to live. But also because he just wanted me out of his life. I started crying right there on the phone. It was very clear that Dale and Shannon had talked about this a lot. Unless I pulled a rabbit out of my hat, I was going to lose the only man who had truly loved me over a fuck with a guy who didn't give a damn about me or his own children. That was when I came up with my plan. It was really simple and it was all I had. So I went with it. Lauren was the first and she was really easy. I just convinced her that Dale was really broken up by the divorce. I convinced her that I had initiated the divorce because Dale wouldn't forgive me. I told her that Dale needed some space for a while, so the best thing she could do would be to give him some breathing room to adjust to being alone. Jeff and especially Mindy were harder to convince. She kept suggesting weekend outings so Dale could spend time with the girls because as she kept telling us, he loved them and they loved him, whether he and I were married or not. The hardest nut to crack was of course Shannon. And it didn't work. So I went to plan B. I told Shannon that she had to pick a side. Either she could choose to be on the side with her family, or she could side with Dale. I told Lauren, Jeff, and Mindy a complete lie. I convinced them that Dale and Shannon had been fooling around and that was the real reason that he was dumping me. It was shaky, but a man who loved a much younger woman as much as Dale loved Shannon would always raise some eyebrows. And it also helped to get them even more on my side. For three weeks, Dale and I worked out the details of the divorce. Except for losing the two most important things in my life, namely my house and Dale himself, I had to admit that he was very generous. The problem was that it simply wasn't enough. I was still crying over that man almost every night. Of course the fact that Lauren often told Jeff and Mindy about my tears didn't hurt my case any. My plan was simple but effective. It was also very tenuous and ultimately doomed to failure. Looking back on it, I guess I'm surprised that it worked for as long as it did. I was kind of like Wile E. Coyote in that I didn't see that the only way my plan could succeed was if I was able to keep most of my family members separated. Or at least keep Shannon and Dale from talking to the other three. And my daughter Shannon is like a force of nature. As soon as she spoke to her sister, Lauren, she got pissed. In less than an hour, she had driven home from college and had Lauren, Jeff, and Mindy assembled at Jeff and Mindy's place. Shannon herself was the last to arrive. As soon as she got there she started screaming. I had a bad feeling about things when she pulled into the driveway and left her car door open. Both she and Dale treated their Mustangs as if they were golden. Shannon was like Dale in that neither of them cursed very often. So when they did everyone took notice. At the same time Shannon had my tendency to yell a lot. So when Shannon got really pissed, people tended to run away. "What the hell is wrong with you people?" she yelled as soon as she stepped into the room. "Lauren, I thought I asked you to check on Dad," she said. "All you needed to do was to pick up the God damned phone once or twice a day. Seeing as how he bought that friggin' iPhone for you, it shouldn't be that much of a problem." "But..." began Lauren, looking at me. I could feel the way the wind was blowing so I figured that getting the hell out of there was a good idea. "Mindy," hissed Shannon at her sister. Even though my daughter in law was older and larger, she shrank before the fury of my pissed off youngest. "Mom told us to stay away from Dad because he needed time to get over the divorce," gushed Mindy. "And she told us that he had dumped her for ... you!" Shannon threw her head back and started laughing. Then she understood what I had tried to do and turned on me. "Mom, sit your ass down or your cushy divorce is over," she yelled. I knew that I was in trouble so I complied. "Mother," she said in a very soft voice. "Why would you do something like this?" "I ... it ..." I began stuttering. "You tried to arrange it so Daddy would think that none of us were on his side in this fucked up situation that YOU caused!" she said. "Then you tried to insinuate that Daddy and I were doing something wrong. You wanted everyone to think that he dumped you for me. So maybe that way he could be the bad guy here and everyone would forget what you did." "Look, kids," I began. "I know that "technically" what I did was wrong. It was WAY wrong. I probably crossed several lines. But I don't care. I was trying to save my marriage. I would do literally anything to save my marriage. So if I fucked up ... so what! I just figured that Dale loves all of you guys. I just thought that he loves you all so much that maybe if I took you guys away from him for a while, he'd take me back to get you back too." Shannon just looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a few seconds. Then her anger melted and her face softened. She came closer to me and the tension in the room seemed to evaporate. "Mom, I love you," she said. "I really do. But I love my Daddy just as much. But this time you're as wrong as you could possibly be. You're so far wrong that you're right. You told Lauren, Jeff, and Mindy that Daddy needed space. And you were actually right. But he doesn't need space from us. He needs us to wrap ourselves around him and make sure that he knows he's still a big part of this family. The person that he needs space from is you, Mom." "No, you're full of shit!" I screamed. I looked at Lauren for help. "See I told you. She wants Dale for herself." Shannon composed herself and sat down beside me. "Mom I know you're upset, but let's talk about this," she said. "If I let him, Daddy would torture himself to death. He loves you so much, but every time he sees you, it rips him in two," she said. "But why?" I whined. "I didn't intend to hurt him." "But you did anyway," She said. "Mom, Lauren told me how upset you were and how crazy you acted when you found out that Daddy's lawyer was a woman. You never saw the woman in person. And you never even saw her with Daddy, but you started an argument with her over the phone. Can you imagine how he feels?" "It's different," I said. "Yes it is," she said. "Daddy actually had to walk in and see you having sex with someone in his own bed. Every time he sees you, he remembers that. As much as he loves you, he can't wipe that out of his mind." "Oh God," I sobbed. It suddenly hit me, what I had done. I began to doubt that I could get Dale back. I had ruined my family. I saw images flash across my mind. I saw Dale and me, holding hands on camping trips or to amusement parks as the kids were growing up. I saw us together at graduations and at Jeff's wedding to Mindy. I remembered how nervous we were at the births of our grandchildren and how ecstatic we were when the little ones were brought home safe and sound. Lately one of our favorite things to do was to all get together at the cottage and have fun at the lake. I'd had a truly idyllic life with a man who worshipped me and I'd thrown it all away. "Mom, I'm not saying that this is the end for the two of you," said Shannon. "But I think that you have to give him some time. After a while, his pain won't be as sharp and maybe you guys can become friends again. Mom it's going to take a while before he trusts you again. But from there, who knows. Just give it some time," she said. The next few weeks were a busy time for all of us. Though it broke my heart doing it, I signed the divorce papers. The lawyer I hired was a waste of time because all she did was took one look at the offer Dale had made me and told me to sign it. Dale as I'd already known had been very generous. He had allowed not only for me to keep my car, but he would continue paying for it until it was paid off. The only thing I wanted that he wouldn't give me was the cancellation of the divorce. The funniest thing about it all was that with the money I got in the settlement, I was in no hurry to look for a job. And when you consider what I did for living arrangements I made out like a bandit. Instead of finding a house or an apartment, I moved in with Lauren. Since Dale was paying half of her rent and I was paying the other half, my daughter made out like a fat rat. Towards the end of the summer, a few weeks after our divorce was final, something happened. I noticed that Lauren was really excited. She told me that they were having a big barbecue and the whole family was going to be there. My heart sank. My favorite thing that we did was to go out to the cottage and grill and just relax. Shannon came by early the next morning to pick up Lauren. They were both wearing swimsuits with shorts over them. I had to admit that my girls were beautiful. I made coffee, because I just didn't feel like eating anything. I sat down to drink it. I had one of our family albums so I could look at some of our pictures. Someone knocked at the door loudly, interrupting me. I figured it was one of Lauren's friends. "She's not here," I yelled through the door. The person on the other side knocked again. I opened the door prepared to let my anger fly, until I noticed that it was Dale standing there. We looked at each other silently for a couple of minutes before he spoke. "Wanna go to a picnic?" he asked. I just started crying. He hugged me and I felt better than I had in all of the time, nearly six months since he had caught me with Andy. "Come on get your stuff," he said. "The kids are already on their way. Shannon is going to try to grill." I ran around the apartment as if I had wings on my feet. I grabbed clothes and went back to the living room. He looked me up and down and informed me that we were staying overnight and driving back the next afternoon. So I had to grab more clothes and something to sleep in, as well. During the drive up to the lake, I felt as if I was reborn. Everything I saw seemed special and more alive. I even loved the loud droning sound of his Mustang's engine. It was like out first date all over again. When we got to the lake, Dale pulled in beside Shannon's Mustang. We looked around the area at about the same time that the kids saw us. Mindy came up first holding the girls' hands and stopped short when she saw me get out of the car. At the same time, Shannon came around the side of the house with a scowl on her face. "Dad, how do you turn this grill on?" she asked. "I can't find the..." The words died in her mouth as she noticed me. No one said a word until Dale spoke. "It's the end of the summer," he said. "We're supposed to be having our last big weekend barbecue, with the entire family here, right? It just seemed like we should have the ENTIRE family here." "Okay," said Jeff. "Let's do some fishing." "No kay," spat Mindy. "Someone has to watch the girls while we cook. I figured Dad could take them out on the boat while you cut some wood for a bonfire later." "I didn't come up here to work," said Jeff. "Then I guess you didn't come up here to eat," she said. Jeff started grumbling and she kissed him before he headed off to the shed where we kept dry wood. I went into the kitchen to help Mindy prepare the side dishes, while Lauren and Shannon stood around the grill. After twenty minutes, Mindy started taking pictures of them with her phone. Then we explained that it was a charcoal grill, so there was no turning it on.