94 comments/ 121371 views/ 9 favorites The Pain of Forbidden Lust By: lucsmith Author's Note: This story is about couples, choices and emotions. It has some sex in it, but is mostly about sex. Be forewarned, there is no real ending in the story and if you writers feel it should have an ending, please write one. Also, if you don't like stories of sharing, voyeurism, extramarital sex and the like, you really shouldn't read this one. Many Thanks to my editor Kanga40 for her suggestions. Any mistakes that you find are mine since I can't leave anything alone. * Nancy and I had been married for fifteen years. I was very happy with our union and I knew than my wife loved me very much, I was very happy the way our marriage had evolved over the years. We had two lovely daughters in their early teens, and we were both had good jobs, she as a voice translator for a film studio and me for a security company. I loved my wife very much and I knew she was completely devoted to me. We were still having sex a couple of times per week, we were all healthy and living in a beautiful house in a respectable part of the city. Life was good and I knew that things couldn't really get much better. Nancy had gained weight after the birth of our second daughter and she had never been able to lose it completely. Of course she was still a very beautiful woman and it didn't bother me if she had nice curves in the right places. Her ass was round and very appealing, whereas her boobs were now heavy but since I am a tits and ass man, I had absolutely nothing to complain about. She also had beautiful blue eyes, the large lens of the glasses which she wore -- no contact lens for her since they tended to irritate her eyes -- when reading or doing paper work, made her eyes look larger and even more attractive. She had a very pretty face indeed, with thick sensuous lips and high cheek bones, and whenever she smiled, her perfectly even white teeth were a feast to my eyes. Yes, I knew that even though she was not going to win the Miss America Award because of the few extra pounds she carried, she was still a very attractive and desirable woman. Of course I was in love with her and I knew that she was in love with me also. We had two great daughters, a nice home and money was not a problem. I was very happy with my life until ... Yes, after fifteen years of being married something bad happened to our union, something that threatened to change everything and thus shatter my happy and perfect world. You see, for the last couple of years, Nancy had taken into the habit of going out with 'the girls' with whom she worked. They had three or four preferred pubs and they changed spots all the time. They went to these places after work on alternate Fridays. As she often explained to me, the girls went out only to talk and to unwind. Of course I didn't mind her going out by herself like that. I was home at four thirty every day and I was the one to stay with our daughters whenever she went with the girls. On those days that she went out I would fix supper for my daughters and I was always the one to help them with their homework, I enjoyed doing this. She was usually back home by eight on those evenings out, and we would then spend the week-end together as a family, involved in activities that we all liked - and of course eating out with our two daughters on Saturday evening. But for the last couple of months she had been getting home later than usual on evenings out with the girls. She was now getting home closer to ten and I could tell that she was having a few drinks. Of course, I didn't say anything since she was still the loving wife she had always been and each time she got home after those evenings out, she always had that typical smile on her face that made me want to hug her. I knew going out like that with her friends was her way to relax, it was taking her mind away from the long week of hard word. Besides, we always had great sex later on those nights. I told myself that she was just having harmless fun with the group of girls she was working with, and I saw nothing wrong with it, even if she was now getting home later than usual. Then one Monday morning, a few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from someone who had simply signed it 'A Friend'. I came close to deleting the message without reading it but on second thought I took the time to read it. It went like this. I WAS AT THE BLACK CROW LAST FRIDAY EVENING, I SAW YOUR WIFE THERE WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE. I MUST SAY THAT SHE WAS ENJOYING HERSELF A LOT. I ALSO WATCHED HER DANCE WITH ONE OF THE MEN THAT WAS ACCOMPANYING HER GROUP. SHE DANCED ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY WITH HIM. I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE HOW SHE WAS ENJOYING HERSELF THAT EVENING SO I TOOK A PICTURE OF HER USING MY CELL PHONE.LOOK AT THE PICTURE CAREFULLY AND IF YOU STILL FEELTHAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY SHE WAS DANCING, THEN JUST FORGET THIS E-MAIL. Accompanying the e-mail was an attachment that I needed to open to see the picture. For long seconds I debated in my mind whether I should simply delete the whole thing without opening the attachment. In the back of my mind I knew I wasn't going to like what was on the still unopened picture. After all, why would someone bother to send it to me if there was nothing special about it? Besides, this e-mail had already planted the seed of doubt in my mind, and I feared what I was going to find out. In this e-mail, I had already been informed that Nancy was dancing when she went with 'the girls', also there were male co-workers with them, and she had never mentioned this to me. I had always been under the impression there were only females with her. Of course she could have been dancing with someone who was already in the Black Crow, someone who was not actually with their group, but, even then I felt a lump in my throat, and I began to have a strange feeling about the whole thing. Against my better judgment, I decided to open the attachment. The instant the picture appeared on the screen I could see it wasn't perfectly centered as if the one taking picture had been careful so that he or she wouldn't be observed. I noticed co-workers of my wife -- females as well as males -- sitting at a long table in the background. The picture was somewhat blurred, but still I could see my wife on the dance floor on the right. She was wearing her beige blouse printed with red flowers and green leaves with the matching brown slacks. This was the outfit Nancy had been wearing the last time she had gone out with 'the girls', therefore I knew the picture I was now looking at had been taken the previous Friday. She had arrived home later than usual that evening, it was half past ten when she gave me a hug and looked at me with her usual killer smile. In the picture I could see her on the dance floor in the arms of a tall, young man. They were pressed very tightly to each other, and Nancy had both her arms around his neck. He had one hand pressing against her round ass and the other... well, I couldn't tell exactly where his other hand was, but I could see the tips of his fingers on the other side, they appeared to be pressing on her right breast. To say that I was shocked was putting it mildly. I couldn't remember ever having danced like that with Nancy, or with any other girl in public. The man's lower body was pressed very tight against her, and I know she must have been feeling his erection rubbing against her. He certainly had to be hard, after all what man can press himself like that against a woman and not become instantly hard? But Nancy didn't seem to mind, quite the contrary. Judging by the happy smile on her lips, it was evident that she was also pushing herself against him as they stared into each other eyes. My wife, my Nancy, the mother of my two daughters was holding a stranger in her arms and acting like a slut in public. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I know that she wouldn't even dance with me like that in public, why the hell was she letting a stranger act this way with her? Or was he really a stranger? The seed of doubt was now firmly planted in my mind, and growing fast. Without my being able to prevent it, all sort of scenarios involving my wife with other men began to develop in my mind. I suddenly felt sick and I had to rush to the bathroom where I threw my breakfast down the toilet. Nancy, my wife, was behaving like a whore in public, was she having an affair? How could she do that to me and to our two daughters? Then, many other questions began to pop within my mind. Who was that man? Was he working with her? How long has this been going on? Why? Was she fucking him? For the next half hour I remained in the privacy of my office's bathroom trying to sort out my mind. Gradually new emotions began to surface. Disappointment, sadness and anger, followed by a strong desire to seek revenge. A whole spectrum of intense emotions which tended to create a maelstrom of reactions took hold of me. I wanted to kill Nancy, I wanted to hug her and ask her to stop, I wanted to divorce her, then, a second later I would forgive her and give her another chance. For a while, as I sat there on the seat of the toilet, I thought I was going crazy. At last I got control of myself. After washing my face and rinsing my mouth with cold water, I made up my mind to do nothing but wait and watch Nancy, to see what would happen before taking action. There was no point for me to take an emotionally influenced decision right away, before I knew exactly what was going on. No, I needed to wait a little and not say anything to her about what I already knew. At the same time I was going to get to the bottom of it all. One way or the other, I had go get a solid proof of what was going on, was she cheating on me, or was she only having exaggerated fun? But I already knew she had lied to me by omitting to tell me the whole truth about her evenings out with 'the girls'. Her movie studio was only a couple of blocks away from the building where I was working. Since I was often on the road doing work, it was easy for me to check on Nancy. So the following day at eleven thirty I was parked at the end of the parking lot where she worked. I felt relatively safe sitting there watching the exit door since my company car had tinted window glass, and I knew it would be impossible for anyone to see me inside. I waited there until one, but she never came out. I did the same for the rest of the week, and on Friday at fifteen past twelve I saw Nancy and three others -- a woman and two men -- get into a black BMW. Nancy sat in front next to the driver, and they drove away. Of course I followed them. They drove downtown for a couple of miles then I saw them enter the parking lot of a fancy restaurant. I watched them laughing as they went inside. I was parked on the other side of the street, right in front of the restaurant and I remained there in my car until they came out at two. Nancy was walking next to the tall, light- hair man, the driver -- he seemed to be the same man she had been dancing with in the photo I already had. She appeared very cheerful and excited, touching his arms as she talked to him. This, more than anything else, made me angry. They drove back to her place of work and all went inside. So far, Nancy hadn't done anything wrong except that she forgot to mention to me she sometimes went out to eat out with male as well as female co-workers. But, more important still, the four of them who had gone to lunch, had been acting as if they were two couples, not as friends or co-workers, and this was what was bothering me the most. Nancy didn't go out with 'the girls' after work that Friday, and she got home at a quarter past five. She was cheerful and smiling just as usual, and it took a lot of willpower on my part to control myself and not bombard her with questions. But I still asked her, once we were quietly sitting in front of the television after supper, if she had had a good day at work and next I asked her what she had eaten at noon. For a few seconds I noticed she didn't know exactly what to say, but soon enough she told me she ate the tuna sandwich she had prepared before leaving for work in the morning. Liar, liar - and maybe cheater also, I told myself. Nancy was looking at me with those big blue eyes that I loved so much as she told me that flagrant lie. Even though I could feel my anger building deep inside, I still felt an urge to reach out for her and hug her. Of course, being in love with someone does that. I knew I had to control myself or risk doing something I might regret afterward. Instead of asking her more questions, I decided to change the subject and talk about my day at work. I tried to act as I usually did every week-end. I don't think Nancy noticed that we had the potential for a big problem. We even made love twice later in bed, and she acted like the loving wife she had always been. On Saturday we went to the zoo with our daughters and we had a lot of fun as a family. For a short time I even forgot about the events of the previous week. I didn't bother to check on her at noon for the rest of the week since it was my intention to follow her Friday evening after work instead. When my two daughters got home at a quarter pass four that Friday, I was already home waiting for them. After ordering a pizza for them, I explained that I had to go at the office and would be home later in the evening. They were now both old enough to take care of themselves and it didn't bother me to leave them alone in the house as long as they locked the door. I knew they would be sleeping in their room by the time I got back. I immediately got into my car and drove to Nancy's workplace. At five exactly I watched her get into her car. When she left the parking lot she turned in the opposite direction from our home and I knew she was driving toward a pub for her evening out with 'the girls'. I had no trouble following her, since there was a convoy of six cars between my SUV and my wife's Toyota. We were all driving in the same direction, which I knew was toward a pub, a watering hole or a dance hall - whatever you want to call it. Ten minutes later I watched Nancy's Toyota and the other six cars entering the parking lot next to a combination bar-restaurant called The Glass Shoe. I remained in my car which I parked at the other end. When everyone was inside, I got out of the car and I walked once around the place. It never hurt to learn as much as possible about the place where the one you are trying to keep an eye on has gone. The pub was relatively far from the rest of the buildings with parking spaces all around it. On two sides were the streets -- since The Glass Shoe was situated on a corner -- while the two other sides were defined by a well trimmed five foot high cedar hedge in front of which were parking spaces. Then I noticed the black BMW that had been in the convoy, and into which Nancy had gotten in to go to the restaurant the previous Friday. It was now parked just in front of the cedar hedge, completely apart from the other cars. In front of the building itself, I observed that there were separate sets of doors, one set led to the restaurant while the other set was the entrance to the bar. At the back there were fire doors for both the bar and the restaurant, but these were for emergency use only. There was also another entrance on the other side - where most of the cars were parked - and this one led also to the bar, but Nancy's group hadn't enter through that door, they had gone through the door leading to the restaurant part of the building. I went back to my car and began to change into clothes I had brought for that purpose. I put on a baseball cap and a black wind breaker, then I added a pair of glasses to my disguise. Then, so as to change my facial features somewhat, I shoved a protective denture into my mouth -- one just like those that boxers wear. I knew I was going to have a hard time talking and drinking with this, but I didn't care since it was not my intention to get into a discussion or to get drunk. When I looked at myself in the rearview mirror I knew that no one was going to recognize me. I waited another hour in my car before entering the bar. The group with my wife were now seated together near the dance floor, they were drinking and having fun. Including my wife, there were six women and four men in the group. When I say my wife sitting very close to the same guy she had gone eating with the previous Friday I became sad and was disappointed. I figured that something was probably going on between them. After taking a table at the back and as far away as possible from them I began to observe what was going on. It was darker in that section where I was seated and there were a couple of lonely souls drinking their troubles away, just like me. I knew no one was going to pay attention to me there. It didn't take long before the music started playing and people began moving to the dace floor. Soon I saw Nancy dancing with the asshole who had been sitting next to her. I noticed that the other three guys, still sitting at their table, had a weird smiles on their faces while they watched them dance. I could tell that Nancy and that bastard were an item, and everyone was watching them dance. After a couple of hours, there was only Nancy and another girl, plus two men in the group. The others had gradually left the place. Both couples were now on the dance floor, and my wife had her arms around the neck of this asshole, and to anyone there it was easy to see they were lovers. He had both of his hands on Nancy's ass and they were barely moving on the dance floor, they just stood there rubbing their bodies against each other. Then I saw him kiss her and he said something in her ear. I watched her nod her head, and they immediately went out of the building holding hands. I followed them out. It was already quite dark outside, and I saw them walk hand in hand toward his car. From where I was I watch them getting into the back. I now understood why he had parked his car in the last row of the parking lot so close to the cedar hedge. He KNEW that he wouldn't be bothered there since there was no car near them, and with the hedge at the back of his car he probably felt quite safe there. What were they going to do exactly, how far was Nancy going to let him go? I knew I had to find out, and I carefully walked toward the other end of the parking lot, then I went toward the cedar hedge. Staying close to the five foot-high hedge I slowly walked toward their car, while being careful to hide behind parked cars as I went ahead. Soon I was standing next to the back of his BMW. At first I saw no one inside the Car. Then it occurred to me they were probably sitting or lying on the back seat. Since it was very dark where I was, next to the hedge, and I knew it would be almost impossible for them to see me from inside the car. So I moved closer still, and I carefully brought my head near one of the back widows of the car. But when I tried to look inside, I could see absolutely nothing since all the windows were deeply tinted. Still, I could hear muffled voices coming from inside the car. I was now desperate, should I open the door and pull her out, or wait to catch Nancy in the act of cheating. It was difficult for me to make up my mind, but after a minute or so that decision was no longer mine to make when I noticed that the car was shaking in a rhythmical manner. The bastard was fucking my wife. I could no longer contain my rage now. I reached for the handle of the door and I quickly threw it open. The roof light suddenly flooded the inside of the car and I saw my wife, my Nancy, lying on her back with her lover lying on top of her. He had already removed her panties and her skirt had been lifted around her waist, his cock was deep inside her cunt. They were fucking. The Pain of Forbidden Lust I had removed my fake glasses previously as well as the protective denture from my mouth. As soon as the light was on inside the car, Nancy's eyes opened wide and she looked straight at me while her lover's cock was still buried deep inside her cheating cunt. I actually saw the expression on her face change from one of bliss to one of shock in a few short seconds. After a few more seconds, all she could manage to do was mumble in a rusty sounding voice: "Oh God Ron, I am sorry." Then in a much more urgent and loud voice. "Don't do anything you will regret later I beg you, this mean nothing to me, wait for me, I am going home right now Ron." "For all I care you can go straight to hell you cheating bitch, and take lover boy here with you." I slammed the door shut and turned around, walking straight toward my car. By the time I was pulling away from the parking lot Nancy was already half way to my car, shouting at me to wait for her. Nancy entered the house less than five minutes after I got there. She looked terrible. Her hair was in disarray and her beige skirt and white blouse were completely wrinkled up. She slowly walked up to me and stood in front of me with tears in her eyes. "Oh God honey. I am so sorry. I love you more than life itself, I know that I have hurt you terribly." "You broke you marriage vow Nancy, I have never cheated on you once during the fifteen years we have been married. Had I known that you were getting some on the side behind my back, I could have done the same. Had I known that you held no importance to the fidelity part of our marriage vows, I could have had some cheap thrills too." "Please listen to me Ron, I love you and what I did mean nothing to me. I wish I could somehow undo it all, but it's not possible. You must believe me, you are my world. My life is not important in comparison to you and our two daughters." She then went into a fit of crying. She kept pressing her face into her hands as if trying to hide. Finally, she had to go sit on the couch since her legs would no longer support her. All the time she kept on repeating how sorry she was. "Stop telling me that you are sorry. What you did to our marriage is unforgivable. Tell me who he is, and how long this has been going on." I felt a little more at ease now that Nancy had gone to sit on the couch and was no longer standing in front of me. All the time she had been standing there I experienced a strong urge to grip her neck and shake her. Never before in my life had I ever felt such anger, it surprised even me. "His name doesn't matter Ron, he is someone who works at the studio with me. This should never have happened. You must believe me I love you more than my life." "But you do realize that you were fucking that bastard. You were supposed to be out with the girls. Those evenings out with the girls have been going on for two years now, so am I to believe that you have been fucking this asshole all that time?" "O God no. I haven't been ... doing it for that long. Believe me, what I did didn't take anything from our marriage, I love you more today than I ever loved you before. Please forgive me, and try to understand there was never any love involved in what I did." She began crying again. She looked terrible sitting there with her eyes swollen and red, begging me to forgive her. "You are the one that don't seem to understand. What do you think those co- workers of yours think of me, and of you, now they have seen you give another man what is rightly mine? Can you imagine the way they will look at me if they see us together, either on the street or at one of your office parties? "This is not only a secret affair you were having with someone who works with you. No, this is a public display of your arrogant cheating. You were telling the whole world you were cuckolding me. I am sorry but I cannot live with that." "Ron, please don't do this to me. You know that I can't live without you, please don't talk like that. I want you to forgive me, this will never ever happen again, I solemnly swear this to you. Saving our marriage and our family is all that counts now." While she was talking, I had gotten up and I had my back to her. I was getting ready to leave since I needed time to think. "What marriage Nancy? You destroyed our marriage the very first time you opened your legs for another man. What is happening today is the result of that very first fuck." All of a sudden, I heard a loud moan followed by a plaintiff cry, the like of which I had never heard before. When I looked at Nancy, she was lying on the floor with her head hidden in her arms. I could see her back shaking as she cried in desperation. Once again I had a strong urge to take her into my arms and hug her, but at the same time the anger I felt, and especially the feeling of betrayal were both too strong. I no longer trusted myself to remain near her. Instead, I quietly left the house and went to spend the night in a hotel room. ................................. I didn't sleep at all that night. The next morning I called my secretary and told her I wouldn't be going to work that day. I remained in my room until noon, then, after eating a few bites at the hotel restaurant, I drove in front of my house on my way toward my office. There was a green Toyota parked in the driveway. I realized that it belonged to Francine, Nancy's sister. At least, I told myself, my two daughters had the company of their aunt besides that of my cheating wife, and it did make me feel a little better. But what I didn't know yet, was the fact that Nancy was now in hospital. After I left the house the previous evening, while she was explaining to her sister on the phone what had happened, she went into a fit and had suffered a nervous breakdown. It was only once I got into my office that I learned what had happened. Nancy's sister, Francine phoned me and we had a long talk together. She said Nancy was a nervous wreck and crying all the time. It seems that less than an hour after I left the house the previous evening, my eldest daughter had phoned to tell Francine that Nancy was delirious and I was not home. Francine then talked to her sister and she immediately drove to my house. When she realized the condition her sister was in, she immediately called an ambulance. Francine told me she was still at my house and would be taking care of my two daughters for a few days. She also insisted that I go and see my wife at Santa Mary's Hospital in town. After I hung up, I was beyond shock. Had I acted like a selfish bastard the previous evening? Had I not left the house, leaving my daughters and my wife when they all needed me the most? Maybe, but one thing I did know, had I remained in the house with her that evening, there was a possibility -- however small it was -- that I could have turned violent because of what she had done. Yes, she may have destroy our marriage, but until yesterday I didn't consider myself as one of those men who hid their head in the sand when faced with a problem. Was this exactly what I had done? Nancy and I had a big problem of course, a huge one at that, but was that a reason for me to just abandon my family when they needed me the most? I was now feeling very bad as I sat there behind my desk, I began to cry, wondering deep inside if I could have done things in another way, a better way with forgiveness and ever reconciliation a remote possibility even. Of course this whole mess was one of Nancy's making, she was completely responsible for giving to another man what should have been mine only. But breaking my marriage was going to hurt my two daughters too much. There had to be another solution and this is when I got the idea of forgiveness with retribution. As soon as I recovered enough from the shock of learning that Nancy was in the hospital, I went to my office bathroom and washed my face. A few minutes later I was in my car and driving toward the hospital. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to her, but one thing was certain, I was going to face the situation and find out exactly what she had done. NANCY'S STORY. Ron and I got married when I was twenty and we were perfectly happy. We had two wonderful daughters and were living in a nice house in a wonderful neighborhood. Money wasn't a problem, and more important still, I loved my husband and I knew that he loved me also. When my youngest daughter was six, I got a job at a film studio not far from where my husband worked. With the fall of the Iron Curtain and the gradual democratization of communism, there was a tremendous demand on the part of the people of Russia, for films from the US. Since I was fluent in Russian and I'd had many roles acting in small plays when I was attending university, I managed to get a job as a female voice translator for English films, so as to translate them into the Russian language. It was a wonderful job, the money was good, and I was excellent at what I did. I had been working there for five years when a new voice translator by the name of Victor Deningko came to work for us. He was a tall young man in his late twenties with dark blond hair, and he was extremely good looking. Most of the girls working at the studio had a crush on him but he didn't seem to notice all the attention he was getting from any of them. Vic had been born in the US but his grandparents came to live in America at the end of WW II. His parents always spoke Russian at home and he was now perfectly bilingual also. Therefore, he and I began to work together often, and a deep friendship soon developed between us. This is when my problem began. You see, before I knew it, I thought I was in love with him. At first he treated me just like he did the other girls. He would talk to me about work matters and we would work well together. Then he began to come with us when we went out on alternate Fridays. Soon we were more than work comrades, we became good friends. He told me all about himself, and I told him the story of my life. I even told him things that I had never said to my husband. Until Vic started coming with us at the pubs, we were only a group of girls. But now that he regularly came with us, the girls began to bring their boyfriend or their husband with them. The first mistake I made was that I never told Ron that these 'girls night out' meetings were now mixed. I suppose I did enjoy being with Vic, and I didn't want to lose the exclusivity of his attention by having my husband there with us on those nights. Soon the friendship between Vic and I developed into something deeper, and we were dancing all the time together. I suppose I never noticed how far things had developed until one evening while we were dancing to a slow song. I found myself held tightly in his arms while we were in a dark corner of the dance floor. All of a sudden he kissed me on the lips. It wasn't a kiss given to a friend or to a family member, the kiss was long and passionate. I was shocked, but I did enjoy it and I didn't protest. That evening he kissed me again and again, and time he did, it made me feel better than the previous one. Yes, that evening I became addicted to the excitement and to his kisses, this is how it all began. The following Friday that we went out together, he found an excuse to take me out of the pub and we went necking in his car. From there our passion evolved, and soon we were fucking like rabbits in the back seat of his car. Of course, I felt very guilty when I got home and I made sure that Ron got all the love he deserved. What I hadn't realized at the time was that Ron, as my husband, deserved my complete love and nothing less, and I should have given any of it to Vic. But since I was working with Vic each day, it was impossible for me to keep away from him, and gradually, even at work, we got into the habit of hugging and kissing when there was no one around. In other words, we became very comfortable with each other. I must mention here that, from my point of view, my behaving this way with Vic wasn't taking anything from my love for Ron. I still would have given my life for him and I had absolutely no intention of hurting him with my affair with Vic. How wrong I was. Making love with Vic was certainly not better than making love with my husband. They were about the same size, both were gentle lovers, and both took plenty of time to prepare me before entering my body. The only difference was that I often allowed Vic to take my rear hole whereas Ron had never done that. He had tried quite a few times, but I always insisted that it was dirty and he simply stopped asking me. I didn't see it at the time, but in reality, Vic was starting to take over from Ron as my first choice. By the time my husband found out about my affair with Vic, we had been lovers for four months. I didn't love him like I loved my husband of course, but the sex with him was fantastic, the fact I could let go of myself when I was with him made all the difference. When I was making love with my husband, I had to restrain myself since I didn't want him to think of me as a slut, but when I was with Vic, I had no such restriction since I didn't care what he thought about me. This was the main reason I did things with Vic that I had never done with my husband. I suppose Vic and I were extremely negligent and careless in the way we were acting in front of our co-workers. Of course it didn't matter that much to Vic since he was not married. But because of the way we were acting in public, it was only a question of time before my husband found out about me and Vic from a jealous co-worker. We should have been more discreet, but I know now that even if Ron had never learned of my affair, it would still have been terribly wrong. That evening when Ron caught us, it was by far the worst moment of my life. Vic was on top of me in the back of his car, my panties were on the floor and my skirt was lifted up over my hips. He was making me feel good with his thick cock and I was showing my appreciation and pleasure to what he was doing by moaning loudly under him. Then all of sudden the dome light came on as Ron opened the back door of the car. There I was with another man's cock deep within me while my husband, the man I loved more than anything in the world, was standing there just a few feet away from me and looking at me with those sad eyes. I could see the pain in his expression as well as the anger. This was the moment that my whole world came crashing down. I knew then this was payback time for me. I couldn't move under Vic, and even though his cock was still buried in me, I desperately mumbled to my husband in a rusty voice that I was sorry, what I was doing met nothing to me and I was going home right away. How stupid of me? How can my fucking another man could mean nothing to him. I managed to push Vic off me and he rolled to the floor. I didn't care one iota if he was hurt or not, for all I cared he could have die right there. The gravity of what I had been doing with Vic in the last four months suddenly registered in my mind and I wanted to die. When Ron shouted at me that I could go to hell and bring my lover with me, just before he turned to move away from the car, I knew that my marriage was in deep trouble. I even stepped on Vic with both feet in my hurry to leave his car so that I could catch up with my husband. But I was too late, by the time I was half way to his car he was speeding away, leaving me standing there in the middle of the parking lot. At that moment a thought entered my mind, it was something that my mother used to tell us, 'cheaters always get caught one way or another'. You see, up to that time, I considered my love for Ron like a fire. That fire was burning only for him and I knew that he felt the same about me. Then one day, when Vic entered my life and when he kissed me that first time, it was like a spark of that fire ignited another fire and this one began to burned for Vic. These emotions that I felt for Vic didn't take anything away from the love I felt for my husband. I told myself it was just like when my youngest daughter was born, I loved her with all my heart, and it didn't reduce the love I still had for my eldest daughter. What stupid things we tell ourselves to justify our basest urges. Children don't expect a parent to love only them. We never vow to our children to 'forsake all others'. Yes, the love of a parent for a child is far different from the love one should have for their spouse. But, I made certain those thoughts never reached my consciousness while I played my games with Vic. I know that my husband certainly doesn't see it the same way I did then, and I don't blame him. I understand that if the roles were reversed, and if he was the one with another woman in his life, I would be devastated. Human thoughts and emotions are so mysterious and sometimes we shouldn't try to reason them. So, now I am here in a hospital bed. Each time I wake from my dreamless rest, I start thinking about the events of the last few months, I cry and feel sorry for myself. Then the nurse injects me again with something and I sleep once more. A wonderful sleep that allows me to forget everything. I wish that I could never wake up again and be at peace with myself, but each time, just before I pass out I see a picture of Ron and me on our wedding day. Oh, God help me. My children, my husband - I can't leave them. I must fight that urge to hide on the other side. Life is a never ending combat, my father once told me. If you stop fighting then you had no right to be living in the first place. I am alive, Ron and my daughters are alive, and I will live also, after all they are the loves of my life. Yes, I will fight for my husband and my family. To me Vic is just dirt now, he had absolutely no right to be in my life in the first place. If Ron lets me, I will be once again and for the rest of my life, the faithful wife I used to be. When I wake up, how long in the future, I don't know, but I will come back into my family's world, of that I am certain. When I do, the first thing that I hope to see is my husband standing there in front of me so that I can start the difficult task of making it up to him.