111 comments/ 117550 views/ 21 favorites The Honda Odyssey By: brain_damage My name is Tom and my wife is Lisa. We're both 45 years old and have been married 26 years. We live in Houston and have two kids, Jim and Susan. Jim graduated from college last year and lives in Austin. Susan just graduated and accepted a job in Little Rock. It's very early Friday morning and I'm sitting in the back of Lisa's Honda Odyssey reading the owners manual, trying to figure out how to remove the back seats. It seemed so simple when the salesman demonstrated it. Susan was ready to load the van with what appeared to be all her worldly possessions and head to Little Rock. We were going to need all the space we could get. I finally got them out and noticed a huge storage compartment beneath the back seats. I opened it, hoping I could put some of her stuff there. Wrong, it was packed. Lisa had a 1st Aid Kit, jumper cables, rags, towels, jackets ... you name it. She was prepared for anything. I was about to close it when I noticed a small canvas bag pushed back in the corner. Something made me pull it out. I opened it and looked inside. I was stunned. I must have sat there staring at the contents for 5 minutes. Inside was Lisa's best negligee. It was black and very revealing. I had given it to her this Valentines Day. Next was a box of condoms and a small bottle of KY. I had a vasectomy about 10 years ago, so the condoms weren't for me. And finally, a note pad from the Marriott. On the pad she had written a room number and a list of dates going back 3 weeks. This could only mean one thing, Lisa was having an affair. I couldn't believe it. I finally snapped out of it when Susan yelled and asked if I was ready to start loading the van. We needed to leave soon. She didn't want to have to unload in the dark. I quickly put the bag back where I found it and closed the lid. This wasn't the time to confront Lisa, not in front of Susan. And we had to get her moved. We finished packing and left. I was glad Lisa rode with Susan in her car. I don't think I could've ridden the whole way with her. During the drive, I searched my mind for anything unusual between us. I couldn't recall any major changes in her behavior toward me. Our sex life had dropped off and she seemed a little preoccupied. I mentioned it and she said she was just trying to get everything together for Susan's graduation and move on top of her responsibilities at work and the hospital. For the past 3 years Lisa has been volunteering at our local hospital almost every Tuesday night. She said it was all closing in on her. I told her I would help anyway I could. She thanked me but said there really wasn't anything I could do to help. I suggested that maybe she should stop volunteering until things settled down. She immediately said she couldn't, they needed her. That was it! She must have taken my advice and stopped her volunteer work. That freed up Tuesdays to meet her lover. We got to Susan's apartment and unloaded everything before dark. We were exhausted. We got something to eat, took our showers and went to bed. Susan offered her bed to Lisa and me, but I refused and slept on the couch. We spent all of Saturday and until mid-afternoon Sunday setting up her apartment. Leaving was difficult, especially for Lisa. Now both kids were on their own. And truthfully, it was hard on me too. If you're a parent, you know how hard it is to let go. We pretty much drove in silence. When we got home I said, "Lisa, you know we've spent most of our married life raising our kids. I think we did a great job preparing them to be on their own. Not that there weren't some problems along the way, but nothing major. We have two intelligent, responsible young adults. That's something to be proud of, especially in these times. I want to thank you." Despite what it seemed she had done, everything I said was true. She said, "You're right, we did good. But, it wasn't just you or me. It was both of us. We provided them a loving and stable family. That makes all the difference." I said, "It's late, we're tired and you have to go to work tomorrow. Since I took tomorrow off, why don't you take my car and I'll finish unloading everything tomorrow. I'll put the seats back in the van and get it washed and cleaned." She thanked me and we took our showers and went to bed. Monday morning I finished unloading the van, put everything away and after consulting the owners manual again, managed to get the seats back in. I took it to the car wash and had it cleaned inside and out, and got the oil changed. I got home about 11am and ate a sandwich. It was time. I couldn't put it off any longer. I got her bag from the van and emptied the contents on the kitchen table. I looked at Lisa's negligee. She always looked so sexy in it. Now it was ruined. How could she wear my gift for another man? I noticed several dried cum stains on it that obviously weren't from me. It made me sick. Lisa had a package of 6 condoms, 4 were left and there was a small bottle of KY. The note pad from the Marriott had 3 dates and the room number written on it. I got a calendar and as I thought, all 3 were Tuesdays and dated back 3 weeks. So this has been going on a month tomorrow. I took pictures of everything and made a copy of the note pad. I downloaded everything to my computer and printed several copies. Then I put everything back in the bag and put it back in her van. I decided not to confront her when she got home. I wanted to see if she intended to "volunteer" Tuesday. I had dinner waiting when she got home. She thanked me for fixing dinner and taking care of her van. We finished eating and she said she was still exhausted from the trip. She was going to shower and go to bed. I told her I would finish cleaning up. After her shower I said, "Lisa, things have been very hectic the last month or so. Our life has completely changed. It's just us again, like it was before the kids. Why don't we go to a romantic restaurant tomorrow night to celebrate? And when we get home, we can celebrate other ways. It's been well over a month since we made love." Lisa looked at me and didn't know what to do. Finally, she said, "I can't, not tomorrow night. I've got to be at the hospital." I said, "Come on. Why don't you just tell them you can't? It's only one time. They can make do." She said, "No, I can't. They need me. They count on me." I said, "I need you. I need to be able to count on you." She thought a few seconds and finally said, "I'm sorry. I just can't, not tomorrow. We can go Wednesday." I said, "Never mind, just forget the whole thing. Obviously, you have higher priorities than me." I left the room. That told me everything I needed to know. The next morning, I left for work before Lisa was up so I wouldn't have to talk to her. Tuesday evening, I left work early and waited for Lisa across the street from her office and when she left, I followed her to the Marriott. She got out of her van and went in. I couldn't see if she took her bag in with her. I assumed she did. Then I went to the hospital and asked the receptionist if Lisa was working tonight. She said she wasn't there, in fact, she hadn't been there the last month. Lisa told them she had some personal obligations she had to take care of. I had all the information I needed. I went home and waited for her. I was going to confront her when she got home. About 8pm, I heard the garage door open. I wasn't expecting her until 9:30pm or 10pm. That's when she usually gets home from the hospital. I wondered why she was early. She could've fucked for at least another hour and a half. She came in the door looking worried and upset. Her makeup was messed up and it looked like she had been crying. I said, "You don't look good. Did you have a bad evening?" She said, "Something like that and I'm afraid the worst is yet to come. I'm going to go shower and then we need to talk. Why don't you make some coffee?" Then she walked to the bedroom. I was curious. What did she want to talk about? Maybe she was going to leave me. I started the coffee and when I heard the shower, I went to the garage to get her bag out of the van. It wasn't there. I looked all through the van, but it was gone. I went back in and got the pictures. When she turned off the shower, I poured each of us a cup and sat at the kitchen table. Finally, she came in and sat down. She wasn't in her nightclothes. She was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. She took a few sips of her coffee and said, "This is going to be extremely difficult and I don't really know how to say this or what will happen. I think it would be best if you let me talk until I reach a stopping point. Then you can ask questions. OK?" I nodded. There were tears in her eyes and she said, "Here goes. I've been having an affair. For the last month, I've been seeing another man. I had sex with him 3 times, on Tuesday nights, when I was supposed to be volunteering at the hospital. I'm so sorry." Even though I was all but certain she was having an affair, actually hearing her say it hit me hard. It felt like someone hit me in the gut as hard as they could. She could see the physical change on my face and the tears that formed in my eyes. She dropped her head and sobbed. After a minute, she stopped and said, "His name is Paul. We worked together for about 6 years. We became good friends and talked about everything; what our kids were doing, what was going on in our lives, the achievements and the problems. Then one day he told me that he caught his wife in their bed with another man. Talking and confiding in me helped him get through it. Shortly after his divorce, he was promoted and relocated to our office in St. Louis. I was happy for him. He deserved it and it would give him a chance to start over in a new location. This was about a year and a half ago. We stayed in touch mostly with email. And until a month ago, I had been completely faithful to you. Please believe that." She continued, "About a month ago, he called and said he was coming to town for 6 weeks to supervise a special project. He showed up at my office the next Monday morning. It was so good to see him again. We talked briefly before he had to go to the job site. I asked if we could get together for lunch to catch up but he told me he would be in the field every day. He asked if we could meet for dinner. I thought for a minute. I realized that I never told you about Paul. I don't know why. But, telling you I was going to dinner with a man you knew nothing about might give you the wrong impression. So I told him we could meet Tuesday night. I would tell the hospital I wouldn't be in and you would never know. I didn't like doing that, but at the time, I didn't know what else to do. "After work, we met at his hotel and ate in the restaurant there. We had a nice dinner and a few drinks while we filled each other in on what had been happening in our lives. I told him that Susan was about to graduate and take a job in Little Rock. He said he enjoyed his new job and liked St. Louis, but he hadn't found anyone special. "After we finished eating, we went to the bar for another drink and to continue our conversation. Then the DJ started playing music. We listened for a few minutes and he asked me to dance. I didn't see any harm in it, so I did. After several fast songs, they played a slow one. I started to go back to the table but Paul held me and we started dancing. I was a little hesitant at first, but I relaxed and we began holding each other tighter. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt like a teenager again. When the song was over, he leaned down and kissed me lightly on my lips. I didn't stop him, so he kissed me again with his tongue and I responded. We hugged and kissed a few seconds before we went back to the table, got my purse and went to his room. I knew better, but I wouldn't stop myself. "We got undressed and laid on the bed for several minutes kissing and fondling each other. Then we had oral sex. I sucked him off and he licked my pussy. After a few minutes, he wanted to have intercourse. But, he didn't have a condom. I haven't been on the Pill since your vasectomy and there was no way I was going to have sex without one. Besides, it was getting late and I needed to get home. We dressed and I jokingly told him I would bring condoms next time. I left and went home. "The next Tuesday we had oral sex and then we had intercourse. Earlier, I bought a box of 6 condoms and a small bottle of KY. The following Tuesday was a repeat, oral sex and intercourse. Then today we met, but we didn't have sex at all. I told him it was over, that I couldn't do it anymore. I never should have done it in the first place. I came home and that's where we are now. I guess I'll stop now and you can ask questions." I was shocked. She laid it out pretty much like I thought. Questions? I had lots, but I didn't know exactly how to start. Finally, I said, "I can't believe what I've just heard. I can't believe you had sex with another man. Stop calling it intercourse, you FUCKED! Just how intimate were your conversations? How much of our personal life did you discuss? Did you go so far as to discuss our sex life?" "No, just general things; what the kids were up to, our vacation plans, things like that. I never talked about any of the intimate details of our marriage and certainly never anything about our sex life." I said, "If he was that good of a friend and just a friend, why haven't you ever mentioned him to me? You must have thought your relationship was somewhat inappropriate or you would've said something." "No, not at all. There was nothing inappropriate at that time. I don't know why I didn't tell you. Do you tell me about all your friends at work?" I said, "No, but then I've never FUCKED any of them. You did." She said, "You're right, I'm sorry. I guess I never said anything to you because at the time, we were just friends. I didn't think it mattered. Then, when he wanted to go to dinner, I thought you might think something was going on. So I lied. I should've told you. I could've asked you to go with me. But I didn't." "So the first time you just had oral sex. Did you let him cum in your mouth and swallow?" She said, "No, I didn't. I don't do those things for you and I wasn't about to do something for him that I don't do for you. When he was ready to cum, I moved away and stroked him while he came, just like I do with you." "When he ate your pussy, did you enjoy it? Did he satisfy you better than me? Did you cum?" She answered, "Yes, I enjoyed it. He was different but not better. And I did have an orgasm." "The next time you did oral again and then you fucked. From what you said, it was your idea to bring the condoms so you could fuck. Is he bigger than me? How was it? Was it what you thought it would be? Did he fuck you better than me? How did you do it? Did you cum?" She said, "You're actually larger than him. I didn't really know what to expect. It felt good. It was exciting because it was an unknown. He wasn't any better than you, just different. Because we were so excited, it went pretty fast. He got on top and we ... we fucked, hard and fast. We didn't change positions and we both came in minutes." "You came when he licked your pussy and again when you fucked?" She nodded, yes. "I can't even remember the last time you came from just making love. That's why I always satisfy you orally first. He really must be special to be able to do that for you." She said, "No, he's nothing special. It was just the excitement of it all." "I guess I'm not exciting enough anymore. The next time was oral and fucking. How was it that time? How long did it last? Were you trying to please him and yourself? How did you do it? Did you hug and kiss while you fucked?" She said, "It was slower, not so frantic. We took our time enjoying each other. Yes, I concentrated on pleasing both of us. We started out with him on top. We did hold and kiss some while we fucked. Then I moved on top, until I got tired. We finished with him fucking me from behind. We lasted 15-20 minutes and I did have another orgasm." "Did he ever ask you to dress special or wear a sexy negligee?" She cringed a little and said, " Yes, he asked me to wear something nice. I...I wore the black negligee you gave me for Valentines Day. It's the only nice one I had. I would never wear it again with you. I was going to buy another one just like it. I'm sorry. That was something very special you gave me and I ruined it." "Where is it now?" She said, "I kept it, the condoms and the KY in a small bag in the van. Tonight, as I was leaving, I threw it in the hotel dumpster." I said, "I guess the first two times were mainly physical. But the last time was more. It was slow and gentle. You wanted to please him. You hugged and kissed while you did it. You wore my gift for him. It seems to me that you didn't fuck him, you made love to him. Do you love him? Do you want a divorce so you can be with him?" She said, "NO! I don't love him and I don't want a divorce. I guess it did look like we made love. I guess it was more than sex, but it wasn't love. We were lovers but that doesn't mean I love him. I love you, although I haven't shown you much lately. You have been my friend and my lover. We have helped each other through all the bad times and celebrated the good ones. You're the one person I could always count on, the one who's always there. That's how I love you. Paul isn't even close. "If that was really true, why did you do it? If I really meant that much to you, how could you have done this to me? Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me? You took the love and intimacy that was meant for only us and shared it with another man. Why God Damn you, WHY did you do it?" She had tears in her eyes but I kept demanding an answer. She finally said, "I don't know. I don' have an excuse. There's none. I was stupid. I was selfish. I was a fool." "That still doesn't tell me why. Something happened that made you go from friends to lovers. I want to know WHY!" She thought a minute and said, "We were talking at dinner and I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He said he didn't. I told him I couldn't believe that and I thought he was an attractive and sexy man. He blushed and said I was just saying that to boost his ego. I told him that wasn't true. That I thought he was sexy and if I weren't married, he would have been in my bed long ago. He thanked me and said, "If only that were true." I guess that was the first time I actually thought about having sex with him. It must have sparked something in his mind as well. Between that, the alcohol and the kiss on the dance floor, I snapped. I lost all self-control. I was so weak." I thought about what she said and finally said, "I guess I could rationalize how it happened. I might even be able to understand it if it was a one night fling. But it wasn't. You carried it further. You deliberately set things up so it could continue. You lied to me about having to work at the hospital. You bought the condoms. You wore the negligee. This wasn't a one nighter, it was a planned affair. Why did you let it continue?" She said, "I don't know. I guess I got caught up in it. It was something completely new and exciting. I had never even thought about cheating on you before. I had always been faithful to you. I was always the good and proper wife. A few of my friends told me about affairs they had. They enjoyed it. It was new, different and exciting. They felt naughty. It made them feel good that another man desired them. After the newness wore off, most ended the affair and remained married. I never approved of what they did, but I admit I became very turned on hearing about it. I even found myself fantasizing about it. I guess, in the back of my mind, I was envious of them, even though I knew it was wrong. Their life was fun and adventurous. It didn't seem to hurt their marriage. In fact, they thought it was better. I thought, why not me? Then, I found myself in a position where it could actually happen. I could live that fantasy. I couldn't help myself. I had to do it. I'm sorry." The Honda Odyssey I asked, "What made you stop? Why did you end it?" She said, "After we left Susan in Little Rock, I began to think back on our lives. About all the fun we had together before the kids were born. Remembering their births, their first words, their first steps, everything that happened, good and bad up to this point. "Then you told me about how well we prepared the kids to be on their own and make the right choices. That we should be proud of what we did. I realized how fortunate I was to have two wonderful children. I had a husband who loved me unconditionally, who provided for our family and always put us before his wants or needs. I had it all and my affair probably killed it. "Then you wanted to go to dinner and celebrate. You don't know how much I wanted to do that. But after what I did, I couldn't go with you to celebrate. I had to sort things out and figure out what to do. The only thing I knew I had to do was end it with Paul. So I told you I couldn't skip volunteering. That gave me some time to think and talk to him." I said, "What made you decide to confess? You could've just ended it and never told me a thing. What I didn't know wouldn't hurt me." She said, "Believe me, I thought about doing that. That would've been the easy way out. That might've worked except for two things. If you ever found out, I knew you would never forgive me, not after hiding it from you. But the main thing was that I knew I couldn't live with myself. I would feel so bad trying to keep a secret like that. It would've eventually eaten me up and I'm sure you would notice. Then I'd have to tell you. So, I decided to do it now and hope that you would at least listen to me and consider forgiving me. I'm sorry I betrayed your trust and fidelity. I don't want a divorce. I can't imagine my life without you. Please don't just end our marriage without at least thinking about it." She broke down crying again. We just sat there in silence. She finally asked if I had any more questions. I shook my head. She got up and said she would be back. After a couple of minutes she walked into the kitchen with an overnight bag. I asked what she was doing. She said, "I called my mother and told her I needed stay with her awhile. When I tell her what I've done, she's going to be so upset and disappointed in me. I know you don't want to be around me now. This was all my fault, so I decided to give you some space to think about everything. I won't call and bother you. When you want to talk, let me know. I'm so sorry, please believe me. I do love you, I really do." Then she left. After she left, I must have sat there at least 30 minutes without moving. I couldn't believe what just happened. I knew she was cheating and I knew I was going to confront her. But I had no idea she would confess. And the way she did it, she didn't hold anything back. She answered all my questions. Her facts matched mine. What now? If I had to confront her, my first thought was divorce. But now I wasn't sure. I have to give her some credit for doing the right thing. But then again, if she hadn't done it in the first place, there wouldn't be a right thing that needed to be done. I don't even know what I'm saying. My mind is mush. I decided to go to bed. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning. They weren't. I had a restless night. I thought about taking the day off, but what was I going to do, sit here playing it over and over in my mind? I decided to go to work and try to take my mind off it, but I didn't get much accomplished. Thoughts of her sucking and fucking him wouldn't go away. I decided I wanted to meet Paul. I didn't intend to go kick his ass or anything. I just wanted to ask him some questions. After work, I went to his hotel and knocked on the door. He opened it and I asked, "Are you Paul?" He said he was. I said, "I'm Tom, Lisa's husband. She's told you about me and she's told me about you. I thought it would be good to talk." He got a worried look on his face and tried to close the door. I stuck my foot in the door to stop him and said, "Don't worry. I'm not here to fight. I just want some answers." He thought a minute and finally opened the door. I walked in and sat on the bed. I said, "So this is where you fucked?" He didn't say anything. I said, "Lisa tells me you worked together about 6 years before moving to St. Louis. She said you were good friends and talked about everything. Did she ever say she was unhappy with me or our marriage?" He said, "No, never. She always had good things to say about you. She said you were a good husband and father. She was very happy with her family and her life." I said, "She told me about the breakup of your marriage. Your wife cheated on you. That must've been very hard to understand and accept. Believe me, I know EXACTLY how you felt. She said she thought talking with you helped you get through it. Is that right?" He hesitated a little then said, "Yes, it is. She listened to me pour my heart out. She really helped me see that it wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything wrong, my ex-wife did." "That's really great that she was there for you, really great. But who's going to help me? Who am I going to talk to? Who's going to let me vent my anger, my fears, my hurt? Who!?" He just sat there. I said, "After what you went through, how could you help her do the same thing to me? How could you help her ruin our marriage?" He said, "I don't know. You're right, I helped her do the same thing to you that my ex-wife did to me. I didn't think about it. I let my feelings for Lisa get out of hand. I'm sorry, I really am." "Do you love her? Does she love you? Do you want to be with her?" He said, "I think I could easily fall in love with her. And yes, I want to be with her. But it's never going to happen. She doesn't love me. She loves you. Tuesday, I tried to get her to leave you and be with me. She said there was no way that would happen. That even if you left her, she absolutely wouldn't be with me. She said our affair and our friendship was over. She never wanted to see me again. She really feels bad. She was crying most of the time we talked. She's so afraid you are going to divorce her. I hope you don't. I hope you decide to forgive her. She's really an extraordinary woman. Don't let this one foolish mistake ruin your life together." I sat there a minute and got up to leave. I stopped when I got to the door and said, "There's one more thing." He asked what it was. I hit him in his face as hard as I could. He staggered back, holding his nose. Blood began pouring out and it felt like I broke my hand. Then, I kicked his balls and watched him crumble to his knees and left. I didn't call Lisa. I just kept thinking about everything that happened. Tuesday evening, I called Paul's room. He answered and I hung up. I called the hospital and asked it Lisa was there tonight. They said she was, but she was with a patient's family helping them fill out insurance forms. Well, at least she wasn't with him. But who knows what she's been doing. She could be fucking him every night. I knew how to find out. I would go talk to her mother, Angie. We had always gotten along great. I liked and respected her. She was a no-nonsense woman and didn't mind telling you exactly what she thought. Maybe she could tell me what was going on. I went to see her Wednesday at lunchtime. When she opened the door, she hugged me and said it was good to see me. She asked if I wanted something to eat. I told her I haven't had much of an appetite lately. She poured me a glass of tea and we sat down. She asked me how I was. I said, "I'm OK." She just looked at me and I finally said, "Alright, I'm not OK. I'm terrible. I can't believe what's happened. I don't know what to do." She said, "I'm so sorry for what happened. When Lisa told me what she did, I couldn't believe it either. I never thought my little girl could do something like that. I must have yelled at her for 15 minutes nonstop. How could she have been so stupid, so selfish, so cruel? I told her you were the best thing that ever happened to her and she had probably just pissed it away. She started trying to explain, but I told it was bull. There was no possible excuse for what she did. I told her I was so disappointed and ashamed of her. I even threatened to throw her out, but I didn't. She's my daughter. "Wednesday, she called in sick and stayed in her room crying. She was going to call in Thursday, but I told her she better stop feeling sorry for herself and go to work. I told her that if you divorced her she was going to need her job. She just ran to her room crying, but she got up and went to work. That was a start. But every day she comes straight home and just goes to her room and cries. "Monday, I asked if she was going to volunteer. She said she didn't think so. I told her she had obligations and she better start living up to them. Then I asked her why you two haven't been talking. She told me she was giving you some space to figure things out. I told her she better start doing something or she was going to have more space than she knew what to do with after the divorce. She ran to her room crying, but she went. "I'm glad you came by. I was going to call you. I want to know why you two haven't been talking. Why haven't you called Lisa? You know the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be to get back together. Unless that's not what you want. Do you want to try to get back together?" I said, "I just don't know what I want yet." She said, "Bull. You've had over a week to think about it. You must have some idea. It's a simple question. Do you still love her?" I just shrugged. She said, "Come on Tom. Deep in your heart you know how you feel. Do you still love her or not?" I sat there a minute and finally said, "Yes, I do. I still love her. But I hate her too, for what she did to me." Tears welled up in my eyes. She said, "You know, she still loves you. She's been kicking herself in the butt nonstop. Look, I'm not defending her. She made a terrible mistake. She did the worst thing a married woman could do. But, I believe she's genuinely sorry. Look, she confessed. She could've ended the affair and never said a word. Instead, she staked your marriage on her faith and trust in you and your judgment. That's got to count for something. Please call and talk to her. Maybe it won't make any difference. Your marriage may already be dead. But can't you at least talk about it first?" I said, "OK, I guess we can talk. I'm not promising anything, but we'll talk." She thanked me and I told her I had to get back to work. She hugged me again and said, "I know you'll do what's best for both of you." After I got home, I called Lisa. When she recognized my voice, she started crying and telling me how sorry she was. I finally said, "Lisa, if you tell me that you're sorry one more time, I'm going to hang up. Do you understand?" She said she did. I said, "Look, we need to talk, to try to sort things out and see if there's a chance for us. Why don't you come by the house Saturday around 2pm?" She said she would and maybe we could go to dinner afterwards. I said, "No, I don't think so. This isn't a social call or a date. We need to decide if we still have a marriage or not." She seemed disappointed but said she understood and would be here. At 2pm the doorbell rang. Lisa was right on time. I opened the door and when I saw her, my heart skipped a beat. She looked lovely. I invited her in and said, "This is still your house too. You don't have to ring the bell and be invited in." She said thanks, but she didn't think it would be right, after what she did. I got us some tea and we at down. I said, "You know, it's your mother that forced us to get off dead center. She's something else." She said, "Yes she is. You can't imagine the grief she gave me when I told her. It was almost as bad as telling you." We laughed and sat there in silence for a minute before I said, "I guess you answered most of my questions last time, but I have a few more, OK?" She nodded. I said, "For the record, I've been completely faithful to you since before we got engaged. I'm not saying the thought never crossed my mind, but I never seriously considered it. I think you told me, but since we've been engaged, how many times have you been unfaithful to me?" She said, "Only this one time, never before. Like you, it crossed my mind, but until Paul, I always dismissed it." I said, "Thinking back, I believe you cut off sex with me before you sucked him. You told me you were too tired and under too much stress from work, Susan's graduation and move. You just didn't feel like it. And trusting me, believed you and backed off. That really hurt. You stopped making love to me so you could fuck your lover. Did we have sex after you started with him?" She said, "I never had sex with you after the first time with him. I couldn't have sex with both of you. I just couldn't. It would've forced me to realize how cruel and selfish I was being and that I had to stop. But, I didn't want to stop. So I cut you off physically and emotionally too." I said, "Now that you've had time to think, do you even realize how much you hurt and humiliated me? How inadequate you made me feel that I couldn't satisfy you sexually and emotionally. That you had to get that from another man?" She was in tears and said, "I do now. I didn't think about it at the time. I was only concerned with myself. I know I hurt you unmercifully. I can only imagine how you feel. I'm sorry. I don't know how to take that pain away. But I want you to know that I never felt you were inadequate in any way. What I did wasn't because you didn't satisfy me. My affair had nothing to do with you. It was all about me. I let it happen. I was selfish. I thought I should be able to have it all. And finally, I realized I couldn't. I realized I wanted you. When I ended it, I had to tell you. Our marriage couldn't be based on a lie like that." I said, "I'm glad to hear you accept responsibility for your actions. But I don't know that I agree with everything you said. If I was truly adequate and I completely satisfied you, you wouldn't have done it. There would be no need for you to even consider cheating, at least not seriously. There had to be a sexual or emotional need I couldn't fill." She thought a minute and said, "I don't see it like that. Emotional and sexual adequacy and satisfaction are the responsibility of both partners. Both have to be giving 100%. Sometimes one partner or the other isn't doing their part. Sometimes both partners aren't. In any case, the marriage suffers. You were doing your part, I wasn't. My dissatisfaction, or rather my perceived dissatisfaction, was due to my inadequacy, not yours. Like I said, you did nothing wrong. Don't ever believe you did." I thought a few seconds and said, "I guess so. I'll have to think about that some more. In any case, I'm glad you decided to tell me. If you waited for me to confront you and began lying and denying it until I showed you my evidence, we wouldn't be talking, our lawyers would." She looked puzzled and asked, "I don't understand. What do you mean? What evidence?" I said, "Just that." I pulled out an envelope of pictures I had hidden under the newspapers and handed it to her. She took it and hesitantly opened it. She gasped when she saw them and said, "You knew? How? When?" I said, "When we were packing for Little Rock, I removed the seats in the Honda and saw the cargo space under the seats. I opened it to see if there was room to put anything in. It was full and as I started to close it, I noticed a bag shoved in the corner. I don't know why, but I pulled it out and looked in it. I didn't want to confront you in front of Susan. We had to get her moved, so I put it back and didn't say anything. "Then Monday I got the bag and took pictures and made copies of everything. I figured you would meet him Tuesday, so I asked you out. When you refused, I knew it was true. Tuesday evening, I followed you to the hotel. Then I went to the hospital and they said you hadn't been there in a month. I went home and was going to confront you, but you beat me to it." She shook her head and said, "I had no idea that you found out. I'm glad I confessed." I said, "I have one more question. If I decide for us to try work it out and get back together, how do I know you won't do it again?" She thought a minute and said, "I guess you don't. All I can say is that I promise it won't happen again. But for that to mean anything, you would have to trust me. And after what I did, you can't, at least not yet. I hope that one day I'll be able to earn that back. But right now, all you have is my word, which doesn't mean much. We're in a Catch-22. I guess you'll have to take a chance on me and our marriage." I sat there a minute and said, "Despite what you did to me, I still love you. I don't want a divorce, at least not now. I want to try to get back together." She started crying and threw her arms around me. After a few seconds I hugged her back and found myself crying too. After we settled down, I said, "But, I'm not ready for you to move back here and into our bed. I'm just not ready for that. I think we should take it slow. We can meet for lunch a few times during the week and we can go out on the weekend. It would be kind of like when we were dating. Is that OK?" She said, "That sound fine. I just want us to work on getting back together." I said, "OK, let's meet for lunch Thursday and we can go out Saturday." We went to lunch and things were still a little tense and awkward. I guess we were feeling each other out. Saturday, I picked her up at her Mom's house and we had a nice dinner and went to a movie. When I took her home, I walked her to the door and told her I had a nice time. Then I kissed her. Nothing elaborate, just a kiss you would have on a first date. But it was nice. I found myself smiling all the way home. We continued dating for about 3 months. We did things we used to do when we were dating and first married, things we hadn't had time for since the kids were born. We went to the park and flew a kite. We went to the zoo, we went bowling, we went to the theater and to ballgames. We really began to enjoy each other is a way we hadn't in such a long time. Our goodnight kisses became make-out sessions in the living room of her Mom's house. She caught us once and just smiled and walked away. Thoughts of her affair still lingered at times, but more and more, they were replaced by thoughts of Lisa. I finally realized that I wanted her back in my life full time. I wanted her home with me. Saturday, after eating, Lisa asked what we were going to do. I told her I didn't care but first I wanted to stop by our house and show her something. When we arrived she asked what it was. I told her I would be right back. I came back with and elaborately wrapped present and gave it to her. She asked what it was for. I said, "We've been dating 3 months. I guess it's sort of an anniversary present." She smiled and started unwrapping it. She opened the box and removed the tissue paper. It was a new negligee, completely different from the one she ruined. It was jade green and very sheer and revealing. She held it up and looked at it and then looked at me. She said, "It's beautiful." She hesitantly asked, "Does this mean what I think it does? Do you want me to put it on?" I said, "Yes, I love you and I want you back here at home with me. I want us back together. Do you want that?" She threw her arms around me and said, "Oh Yes! More than anything I want that. You don't know how much I want that." We held each other and she cried until there were no more tears. She said, "I'll go freshen up and change. Why don't you fix us a drink and I'll meet you in bed." The Honda Odyssey I fixed our drinks and then called her mother. I said, "Angie, don't wait up for Lisa. She's not going back tonight. In fact, she's not going back at all. She's staying here where she belongs. We're going to spend most of the night making love to each other in every conceivable way. We'll come by tomorrow afternoon and pick up her things." She said, "I was so hoping to hear that. I knew if you two talked to each other, things would work out. Have fun with each other. I'll see you tomorrow." I went to our bedroom, got undressed and waited for her. She came in and looked beautiful. She got in bed and we kissed and held each other. She said, "I love you. I'm so sorry for..." I stopped her and said, "No more. That was the past. This is now." And with that, we made love to each other.