63 comments/ 70673 views/ 12 favorites The Fickle Finger of Fate By: Mandy01 I now have a cushion strapped to my pretty derriere. It's so sore from the caning it got over That Damn Dog. One... I'll never buy a dog, and Two... I'll never forget that lesson...ever. That said, here is Chapter Two...of a Three part series. That's one more than one and one less than three, which btw will be the final chapter... Three that is, not this one...Ohhh hell, just don't use a cane anymore....Please. ****************************** Lennard dropped his gaze to the little clear Perspex box sitting on his table with two wedding bands set in resin. "I understand your reluctance James. You love the woman and you don't want to judge her unfairly, but at its worst, it's called denial mate! Colour it anyway you want, it still looks the same. Okay I agree that I'm probably not the best person for you to be talking to on this subject, but you have to do something and pretty damn quickly, if it's not already too late. How about going for shock value?" Continuation ... And that's what I did! I dropped the folder on the table in front of Kelly. "Open the folder and read what's inside; when I get out of the shower we'll talk." See, I wear the pants in my family, always have and always will! I never got to finish my shower. "What's this shit Jim?" Kelly's ear piercing shrill came through the glass partition. "I said we'll talk it over when I'm finished washing." "No Jim, you get your bloody arse out here right now and tell me what's got into you." She ranted. Okay, so she tells me which ones! Ohhh don't give me that look! I doubt there's a husband out there that hasn't heard the old criticism, 'You're not wearing that are you?' You're an idiot if you think that's a question. It's not a question mate, it's a statement, which is, 'I'm in control here, and you better take notice!' Now if you're an average logical but clueless male, the answer is staring her in the face, "I've got them on woman, what do you think?" Bad move mate. You're not talking to another guy here and you're staring at a lonely night and another draw if you walk out that door with them on. Now I know I said that I learned not to throw the match early on in the marriage, but this one is an exception to that rule. I don't go for odds on, that's crazy. Bet big, minimal return, as I said, crazy. Ya got to go for the long odds, fifty cents down for fifty buckaroos plus your stake. The pants deal is shit and keeping the missus happy is paramount here. I'll give you a hint, change the pants, and hope like hell she's in a loving mood later that night and you might just end up with a reverse draw. No guarantees though; it all hinges on why she confronted you about the pants in the first place, then it could quite conceivably be a two nil loss to you. But hey, you didn't lose much but a lousy pair of comfortable pants. But that's not the reason why I sighed, and shut the water off. What? Why did I capitulate then? Ohhh, my Uncle watches bloody Gridiron and he's tried to teach me some of the rules. Poor bugger him! According to my Uncle, what I just did was drop back, open the field and go for the long pass to the wide receiver. I think you gridiron fans would know what I'm on about here, the rest you; tuff titties! And I now realise why I get side tracked all the time; I'm trying to relate my thinking on life's mysteries and the married woman, so sit back, suck it up, and it might just help you draw the next match and maybe even win one or two. Now back to the confrontation. I grabbed my towel off the hook. "You read the forms? It means just what it says at the top of page one. Prenuptial agreement! It's the one we signed before we got married, but I've just added a codicil." 'This is me dropping back' "I damn well read it! We don't need a bloody codicil to an already stupid prenuptial!" She's angry again. "What we need is for you to get your head, out of your arse and apologise to me this minute!" "Getting angry and swearing at me isn't going to help the situation Kelly. Go down stairs and open a bottle of wine and we'll sit down and talk this out like mature adults, so just give me a little peace and quiet to get dressed." I can be calm when needs be, on the outside, on the inside I wanted to kill something! 'My Quarterback is dancing on the spot, waiting nervously for the Wide Receiver to make ground.' Kelly turned and stormed out of the bedroom. "Open your own god damn bottle of wine. I'm too angry to be talking to you now. I'm going out to cool down, so don't wait up." Okay, I got clobbered, and my throw ended up short. I walked out and flopped down on my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, much as my quarterback was doing right now. Get my own dinner; get my own wine? I don't even like fucking wine. I'm a beer man. I was trying to be nice, and where'd it get me? "How about, I get my own damn life instead?" I shouted down from the bedroom. Fuck, I hope she didn't hear that. 'My Wide Receiver missed the damn ball, game over and no nookie tonight. Damn, I hate Gridiron, give me Rugby League any day!' Kelly came home around ten that night as far as I could tell. There was a clatter down stairs as though she was bouncing off everything she could find to fall into, before she slumped on the bed, not so much as removing a stitch clothing. There was no chat or goodnight kiss, not even a grunt and she stunk of rum. She just turned her back on me and went to sleep. well passed out more like it. She was comatose and never budged an inch all night. I know; I hardly slept a wink all night. I was in the kitchen pouring my first cup of coffee feeling like death warmed up, before heading off to work, when Kelly staggered in. "Ohhh God, I'm dying!" I almost chuckled; now thinking that 'tired' wasn't so bad this time in the morning. So this is what it looks like from the other side of a hangover. "Morning Kelly; you look like shit darlin, or something the cat dragged in; one of the two!" I knew she couldn't fight this morning, so I felt safe to add, "Can we talk about the agreement this afternoon or not?" I know it was a chicken shit move, but hey, like The Newcastle Song by Bob Hudson tells ya, "Don't you ever let a chance go by!" especially when they're handed to you on a plate like this. It was obvious that Kelly had a thundering headache from too much drink the night before and only moaned, "I'm certainly not in any condition to be talking about it now." She said this into her folded arms on the table, her hair, normally brushed to a high sheen, this morning looked more like a rat's nest. Half of me felt sorry for her, the other half wanted to punched the air and scream yes! Instead, I voiced my understanding and headed off to work, thinking that I was pleased the rolls weren't reversed. So far, everything had gone the way Lennard and I thought it might go. Lennard had said that Kelly would buck at first, but if she had nothing to hide and she truly loved me, then she would eventually come round and sign the change to the agreement. I still felt bad about the it, but conceded that while love made for a cohesive marriage, it wasn't by any means an air tight seal, and other sinister forces could at times of weakness destroy the delicate fabric. I know, I know, my cynicism is showing. But think about it; if she didn't sign, then it was more evidence that she has already been unfaithful and I wasn't in the slightest bit interested in stopping her affairs. I love Kelly dearly, but if that were the case, then I'd have to look at taking it to the next level and have her followed. I had a sinking feeling as I drove home, knowing full well that I had the confrontation with my dear wife to contend with. I half expected to see a driveway full of cars and was mildly surprised that it wasn't a parking lot. As the garage door opened, I was even more surprised that Kelly's car was still inside. Coming in from the garage, I spotted Kelly and surprise number three? Kelly wasn't next door, but in the lounge with two glasses of wine, and the agreement sitting on the coffee table. I took a deep breath and said to myself, "This is show time. Don't wimp out now. Ya backing a hundred to one long shot here baby." Kelly had the good grace to wait until I got through putting my briefcase away and undoing my tie. "I thought we might need a little relaxer before we get into this." She pointed at the forms on the table. "You're probably right sweetheart. Let me tell you from the start that I'm certainly not happy about having to do this, but I think once you hear my reasons you'll agree that it won't have a deleterious effect on our marriage." Kelly sipped her wine and frowned. "I'm not so sure how you can say that, James. It smacks of distrust to say the least. Are you saying that you don't trust me anymore?" I picked up my wine; I told you I hate wine, didn't I? But took a gulp anyway, and sat on the couch beside her. It did give me pause to think that maybe Kelly was capitulating, and the wine was her show of displeasure at losing this round. "No sweetheart, I'm not saying that at all." I knew in my heart that that was a half-truth. I did trust Kelly but I just wasn't sure how far I could trust her, and it angered me. I never thought that there would come a time that I would be having these thoughts. "Yes I have concerns that things aren't right between us and I want to make it right. All this is a way for us to take any variable out of the equation." I took Kelly's hand and held it. "I have an apology to make and I'd appreciate it if you'd hear me out before you try to interrupt." Kelly nodded her consent, but my sceptical side reared its ugly head. I just knew what she was thinking to herself, or was pretty sure I did at any rate. 'Apologies are the only thing I want to hear from you James!' it was written all over her face, but she was keeping it to herself. I continued, "I think that all this has come about because I stupidly told you about my fantasy. I believe that has made you uneasy, and unsettled in our relationship. For that I am truly sorry and I ask you to forgive me." I took another long sip of wine. God it tasted like cat's piss and my face must have showed my dislike, because Kelly had that smirkey look to her face. "I think that confession of a threesome made you think that you were in jeopardy of losing me, and that is so far from happening that it's ludicrous sweetheart, but I understand what you must have been thinking. If I went along and allowed you to do this for me, then that would make you a cuckquean!" Kelly sat blankly staring at me for a minute, and then her face screwed up in confusion. "What's a cuckquean?" I chuckled at her question. "A cuckquean my dear Kelly is the female version of a cuckold. A woman who lets her husband sleep with other women, while she sits back and watches or maybe joins in, whatever." I could see her start to object and I cut her off. "Before you say it, I am definitely not interested in an open marriage either!" "I'm hoping this change to the prenuptial will allay your fears, and we can get back to a loving relationship. I miss your tender touch and smiling face, my love." Okay, so I was laying it a little thick, and it sounded to me like I was, but I was just hoping that to her it sounded heartfelt, which it was. Don't can me over it. I was fighting for my marriage and future family; give me a break. Kelly face dropped as though she had a moment of sadness. This probably wasn't exactly what she was hoping for I'm sure, but she managed to smile anyway. "You silly sausage, I was never worried about you leaving me sweetie. I just wanted you to experience your fantasy. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it before asking our friends if they would help me to bring it about. That was my mistake and I apologise as well." My mood lightened and I smiled. "You have nothing to apologise for my dear, it was a nice thought and I appreciate you thinking of me, but as I said before, I could never go through with it for the reasons I stated earlier." OK, I was buttering her up, it was fairly certain I had won this round, so a draw was in the bag, and now I was looking to make it two nil with me winning for a change. Kelly looked at the forms as though they were about to attack her. "Do you still want to initial this codicil?" "You read it right? Does it look as though I want to send you to the poor house?" Kelly chewed her bottom lip. "Well yes and no! I have to admit, it's harder on you than me. I may walk out of the marriage with nothing but the cloths on my back, but you are going to be paying me alimony for the following ten years. What on earth made you put that in?" Funny, but that's the exact same question I put to Lennard, when we were drawing up this codicil. He said, "It'll smooth the way for her to accept the changes. Are your skirts clean?" I nodded, "Fuck yeah!" "Then you don't have a problem then do you?" I had the idea that "smoothing the way' was not what he meant, as I'm sure you'll agree. "I'm the one who stupidly brought up the threesome crap, and that made it look like I'm the one dissatisfied with the marriage. I'm not, I love being married to you Kelly. I did it so you could see that I'm not trying to corner you into this change to our prenuptial. I'm not being factious or confrontational. I really do believe that we need this to get by this rough patch, and see that it can only reinforce our marriage." Ok, that was another half-truth but I didn't need to be totally brain dead. Kelly crumbled to my great confusion. I told you about the wine, so this wasn't totally unexpected, but I had thought that she would have to put up more of an argument. Damn, another of life's little mysteries to add the vault in understanding the working of a female mind. "Ok James, if this is what you need to make things right again I'll go along with it, but let me say this! I don't need it and heaven forbid if it comes to a divorce with you as the instigator of its demise, then I'll be throwing this prenuptial into the rubbish bin. I really do think it's unsavoury to say the least." I gave Kelly a sad but knowing smile. "It may not look it, but I do agree with you on that score." I continued before Kelly could mount another defence. "Life is full of necessary evils I'm afraid. Can you be at our attorney's office tomorrow at say eleven thirty so that he can witness and notarise the document?" Kelly went into the kitchen to start dinner, while I made a covert inspection of the latest calls made from our home phone. As I had expected, the last four were to her friends, and she must have been either complaining or getting council. Either way, I had no illusions as to what Kelly would do if it came to me cheating in the marriage. While I loved my wife implicitly, I also knew what she was like with anyone who crossed her, and that prenuptial would most definitely be on the divorce table if it came to that. We met five minutes before the half hour and Kelly gave one last salvo in the fight for supremacy. "I hope this won't take long James. I've got a lot of shopping to get in before the day is over." I hated this tug-of-war, this fight to see who was stronger. I always thought of Kelly as my equal in our marriage, and all this was leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I couldn't understand why she couldn't see that communication and compromise was the key to successful marriage, not this power struggle she seemed to be enjoying. My eyebrow rose in query. "All this has got me depressed, and I need some retail therapy to help me get over it! I have a fifteen thousand dollar visa card, and I intend to use it to pay for that therapy, and may very well go close to maxing it out. So be ready when the bill comes in from the bank, and don't say I didn't warned you!" She finished with a cheeky, but defiant smile. Okay, this one's a draw as well, an expensive draw, but draw none the less! I just knew I wasn't going to get out of this with a win, but fifteen grand seemed a little over the top. What is it about women and plastic? If it's not plastic fingernails, it's plastic surgery, then plastic tits, and it all gets wacked onto their plastic cards! I paled at what Kelly had said but nodded. "All for the good of our marriage my dear?" I sighed with little enthusiasm, with the old joke about wives, condoms, and wallets rattling around in my noggin. Some months went by with me keeping a keen eye on Kelly and her association with what I had now redubbed the felonious four. I noted that while she never actually ended her fellowship with them, she certainly backed a long way off. I even started to chill with conversing with them on a very loose basis, and I mean, very fucking loose, thinking we had finally got over this hump in our marriage. We saw them at parties, but they tended to keep to themselves, and though Kelly would occasionally go over, and chat, she was never out of my sight. Thing on the home front went from so -- so, to really quite good, if not terrific, with our love life improving dramatically. I'm winning here, big time, so why am I waiting for the other shoe to drop? What are you looking at me like that for? I understand concept of supply and demand. Kelly could quite conceivably be ramping up the supply in order to corner the market. Yeah, the other shoe, she then cuts supply and the market crashes, namely me. I hate that concept. I hate being on my guard and I mostly hated that this was turning me into my father, the biggest cynic of all! Lennard called me into his office another two months down the track. "Damn it Lennard! You want to lay off all that junk food. How in hell are we ever going to get that midget throwing contest off the ground for the Christmas party, not to mention you as well if we end up throwing our backs out in the process?" Lennard sat in his chair and eyed the young twerp standing before him. And no I'm not a mind reader. If I was, do you think I'd be having so much trouble with my wife? I know that's what he was thinking, because he's called me that on numerous occasions for similar remarks. Throwing his half-eaten jam donut into the box with the others, a shit-eating grin on his stupid dial, he mumbled around what he had in his mouth, "Things must be going well at home James?" "What makes you think that?" I chipped. Lennard beamed a million dollar smile, taking great pains in swallowing what he had and clearing his throat. "Because you're back to insulting my vertically challenged status again. I keep telling you, you long streak of pelican shit, I'm not a fucking midget! I damn well missed out on that distinction by two stupid inches." He said while trying to lick a dab of jam from the corner of his mouth, "For your information I'm four ten in my loafers." He finished with a nonchalant shrug. I broke up laughing. "Gee boss, maybe it's my six four, but you do look shorter than that! Are they the platform ones?" "Smartarse! For that you get to go on safari for four glorious days and three lonely nights." Lennard chuckled. "What? Egad! Damn me and my big mouth. Where?" "Caxton! Jackson Enterprises are looking for a new solvent that's greenie approved, and your little project fits the bill I think. It might need a little modification to fit their needs, but that's your department. It's your baby and I expect you to put it to bed safe and sound." "God damn Caxton? That's the arse end of...well, nowhere! I take back everything I have ever said about you Lennard. You are an arsehole. How long did you say I have to be there for, and when do I leave?" "I know I'm an arsehole James, it's why we get along so well. With all the shit we have to deal with in life, where the hell would we be without them? Four days should see it through, and you leave tomorrow. Just enough time to get home, kiss the little woman on the forehead, and get a couple of bags packed before you're outa here. This business could very well see a tidy little profit if we can pull it off." The Fickle Finger of Fate "Listen Lennard, I know you're a good businessman and you run a tight ship, but I'm engineer, not stupid salesman. Why do I have to go?" Lennard looked at me with jovial contempt. "I know you're my arsehole engineer James, but my stupid salesman Jeffers has already done the sales pitch. Now you're going to clear up any doubts or misconceptions they may have, and make sure that what we're offering will actually be what they're needing. Satisfied now?" I grumbled, "Yeah I got the picture. Caxton, a.s.a.p, make it happen ... got ya." The damn prick didn't have to say, 'Good, now get out of here!' Especially with that damn smirk on his face. I have this feeling that my winning streak is about to hit a big snag. Kelly wasn't all that pleased with this trip, not that that surprised me in the least. "Why so long sweetheart? Most of your trips are either, a day or just over night. What am I going to do by myself for four nights?" "To start with darling, it's not four nights, but four days and three nights! Moreover, it means a good promotion and salary increase instead of stock options this time. I have to do something to pay that damn credit card off for your therapy, but it's only going to happen if I can do this right. You will have to do the same as me, enjoy your shopping treasures and miss your loving spouse terribly until I get home Saturday afternoon." Kelly defiance leapt to the forefront. "Don't go there James, I told you what was going to happen, so you've only got yourself to blame for that one. You hadn't better be making a habit of this sweetie. I'm not good at keeping myself occupied of a night as you well know. I don't think my credit card can handle another therapy session this soon." Kelly could see the horrific look on my face and giggled. "I'm only joking sweetie! I just hated it when you and I were at loggerheads and not talking to each other." "I'll try to remember that and call every night." Caxton was just as I had remembered it from years ago, with not much to do but put in the hours and get home as soon as possible. Work had been gruelling and they had almost asked for the impossible. Trying to explain to the head honchos how my solvent breaks down molecular structure was frustrating, especially when you consider that most didn't know the difference between H2O and HO2! HO2 is usually termed either hydroperoxyl radical or...Ok, never mind, you'd be surprised just how many people get those two bloody molecules mixed up. H2O is what comes out of your kitchen tap, but I managed to get it across, sort out their needs and came through for Lennard. It was Friday night and I was relaxing in the Plains hotel restaurant/bar. I'd just got off the phone to Kelly. She complained to me that she was missing me, and I comforted her as much as I could over the phone. Kelly had asked me where I was eating that evening, and I made comment about the only respectable place in town was where I was staying. The setting was old and it showed, but it was clean and decorous, the only place in town that you could possibly eat at and not end up in hospital with food poisoning. I was sitting at the bar chatting to a sales representative. Okay, travelling salesman! Shut up. There's not a lot of engineers out in the field, ok, anyway, I was waiting for a table to become vacant. Just then, my latest companion slid from his stool beside me and I bid him a good night. I was about to order another beer when a voice stopped my hailing of the bartender, "Is this seat taken?" I turned to see a very pretty redhead in her mid to late twenties standing to the side of me and enquiring about the now vacant stool, and holy shit, she was good eye candy. "No by all means it's all yours." I replied in my most suave and sophisticated tone of voice. I noticed that she was dressed nicely, if a little more upmarket than the place warranted. Come on fellas, I may have been married, but I'm not dead yet. "Waiting for a table?" I enquired for no other reason than to pass the time. The woman smiled. "Yes and no, as a matter of fact. I was waiting outside for my date. He was supposed to be here half an hour ago. I thought I'd come in and get a drink while I waited, but I have this sinking feeling that I've been stood up." I managed to get the bartender's attention. "Can I buy you a drink while you wait?" "That would be lovely thank you. "Turning to the bartender, she informed him, "A white wine would be nice." Then back to me, "My name's Sarah, by the way." Nice to meet you Sarah; mine's James, not Jim or Jimmy, but James!" I ordered the drinks and offered small talk. She gave me that look that everyone gives me when I give my little speech. "You come here often Sarah?" I enquired, more to distract her from asking the obvious question. "Good heavens no! I have no idea why Bill wanted to meet here of all places. I travel a lot and this would have to be the worst place to be stuck in for the night. My date is someone I knew from school, and when he found out I was going to be around town for the day, he talked me into having dinner with him." "You can't rely on anyone these days." I sympathised. "Are you from around here...James?" Sarah asked while sipping her wine. "We've only just met and you're insulting me already," I chuckled. "Damn backside of the world if you ask me. No, I'm like you, here on business and I'll be happy to get out of here tomorrow afternoon." One of the wait staff came up and informed me that a table had now become available. I looked to Sarah and quickly thought why the hell not, again that damn Newcastle Song coming to mind. You remember the one; ohhh hell, just google it for Christ's sake. "Would you do me the honour of having dinner with me, since your date is a no show? You'd be doing me a favour, as I really hate eating alone! I'm not sure how long you'll have to wait for another table." I could see a little indecision on her face before she relaxed, "Ohhh what the hell! He can go jump in the lake! If he can't be on time, then he's not worth the effort. Thank you James, I'd be delighted." Dinner was pleasant if for no other reason than I had company. We talked about our interests both work and leisure. I had a small concern when Sarah started to get a little personal, but managed to avoid any awkward questions. We were just finishing dessert when I felt Sarah had overstepped the mark, when she made it clear that she would like to continue the night. "Maybe dancing or somewhere more private?" I held up my left hand, twirled the ring on it, and smiled. "Not trying to embarrass you or anything, but I'm a happily married man Sarah, although thank you for stroking my ego. You are a very beautiful woman, and I appreciate your interest, but I'm a one woman man." Sarah's face reddened. "Ohhh I'm sorry for being so forward, please accept my apology. It's just that I'm on the road for so long that finding someone to...how should I say this without embarrassing myself...to relieve my stress levels is hard, and I found you attractive, intelligent and funny. You certainly are a breath of fresh air around here. I didn't notice the ring. Please forgive me. You must really love your wife?" The thought she was tripping over herself trying to apologise, struck me as funny. "Yes Sarah I do!" Moreover, her statement that she hadn't seen my wedding band, gave me pause, as I had certainly noticed she wasn't wearing one, but accepted her apology anyway. "Don't beat yourself up over it; I've enjoyed your company. I'm pleased to be at least a consolation dinner companion, in lieu of your missing dinner date. Your company has been intellectually stimulating and humorous as well. As I said, I hate eating alone and it would have been nice if I had someone like you for all the other boring meals I've had to sit down too." Kelly met me at the door in a black lace negligee, stay up stockings, high heels and nothing else when I got home. They say that women dress to impress. Well let me tell you, the less they dress the more impressed I am. Okay, so she wasn't in only heels, or kneeling with a beer in hand, but it was close, and too damn close for me to be complaining about the discrepancy. "I get that sneaky suspicion I'm not off the clock as yet?" I said with an enormous grin on my face. "Damn right lover, you've got some work cut out for you to make up for three lonely nights I had to suffer through. You'll be lucky if I don't fuck you to death." Ohhh well, at least she was at the door ... offering something. I grinned, well wouldn't you; we are making headway here, aren't we? "Now this is the sort of overtime I could get a liking for sweetheart. Lead the way, and I'll follow you to the ends of the earth." Kelly grabbed my tie. "Bugger the end of the earth; that's way too far. The bedroom will do just nicely." Kelly proceeded to fuck me into oblivion, only coming up for air when thirst demanded we replenish our body fluids. I waltzed into Lennard's office feeling on top of the world with, "Morning Shorty. Who's the man?" Lennard eyed me for a moment, and I wondered what his problem was. "I gather you feel you're the man, but all I see is a giraffe on steroids. I take it the trip went well?" "It couldn't have been better. I have to go back in a couple of weeks to finalise storage and handling, as well as go over their OH&S controls, but apart from that, it was a success. Stanton Chemicals is now looking at a good share dividend this quarter. I also want to thank you for your efforts with my domestic problem. Things have never been better!" Lennard hesitated, which looked odd, but then he smiled and waved his hand dismissively. "It's much easier to see straight when you're not the one wearing the rose coloured glasses." Lennard looked like he wanted to say more but didn't. I suppose having two failed marriages does that to a man. "I'll see that you have a little extra in your pay packet from this week forward. Good job son ... muchly appreciated." The weeks went fast, and home life had settled back to what it used to be before the troubles started. I was facing my second trip to Caxton and I was worried what Kelly was going to say about my absence again. "It should only be over night, but if things don't go well, then I may have to stay a little longer, but you can count on me getting home as soon as I can." However, I found myself surprised by her reply. Kelly smiled. "I understand sweetheart. We survived your last trip." The mischievous glint was obvious in her eyes. "Barely! Therefore, this trip won't be any problem, as long as you take your vitamins for a return bout of bedroom boffing. I know you're providing us with a comfortable lifestyle and I appreciate it sweetie." I laughed, "I can see that I'll have to ask Lennard for the whole week off this time." This trip wasn't any better than the last in fact, and I had upped the workload, so I could get out of this god forsaken place a day earlier if possible. Long hours and even tighter schedules than they had planned, made for a tiring trip, my phone call home tonight due to be my only relief. Again, I was sitting at my table and pondering the menu like a fish out of water, when my concentration was interrupted by the waitress, "Excuse me Mr Barrymore, would you like some company for dinner. There's a lady at the bar who's here on her own and I thought that maybe..." The waitress petered off as my attention was caught by the woman she was referring to or I thought she was referring to. Holy fucking hell, if she was the one I was ogling! I quickly scanned the restaurant, and of course she had to be. She was the only unaccompanied female in the place, and damn she was easy on the eyes. "By all mean send her over; eating alone is no fun at all." The waitress made the introduction, "Mr Barrymore, this is Ms Stevens." The waitress helped her with her chair. "Would you like me to get a menu for you Ms Stevens?" The woman nodded to the waitress while holding out her hand, "First name's Michelle, only my friends call me Mikki; I'm pleased to meet you Mr Barrymore. I hope this isn't an imposition to your evening meal." I almost sent my chair flying as I rose to greet my dinner guest. "No no I'm more than happy to have conversation with my dinner. My name's James, please... sit." I was so spell bound that I forgot my little spiel about being James, not Jim. Have you ever met your dream girl? Well I can now say I have, this woman couldn't have been more perfect if I had custom ordered her out of a catalogue. Tall, slender, with long blonde silky hair, and no more than a very good handful ... Well, I'm sure you get the idea. I was half-tempted to check that my tongue wasn't laying limp on the table. God she was female perfection incarnate! Plates arrived as beer and wine levels dropped, whilst the conversation was good, if a little stilted because of my lack of brainpower. Don't look at me like that! Looking at Michelle was like visualising the perfect molecule in all its glory. Two of my IQ points were required for eating, that left three to think with! You're right. The other one twenty were conspicuous by their absence, most likely checking out the chest on the vision that was sitting in the chair opposite, no doubt. Norman would have been stuff by this point, reduced to a slobbering idiot, and that's no condemnation of Norman, but you can see what I'm getting at here. As it turned out, I was happy that those three were putting in a mammoth effort in doing what they're paid for, and that's keeping me out of trouble and doing the thinking. But there was something that just didn't gel in my mind, once I had gotten over the initial excitement of meeting this simulacrum of Aphrodite. Sorry, I get awfully formal when very serious, and it must have showed in my attention. Michelle paused between bites with a forkful of food held gracefully by slender manicured fingers, halfway to her mouth, "Something on your mind James?" I put my knife and fork down and wiped my mouth on a napkin before laying it beside the plate, all the while trying to pull all my thoughts together in one solid theory. What was it though? Not eating allowed the two points helping with that task, to now have time to huddle with the other three and do a little brainstorming. Okay, maybe it wasn't storming, probably closer to a slight precipitation, but I had effectively just about doubled my IQ! Michelle calling me James and not Jim like most people, especially since she obviously doesn't worry about having her name shortened, made up my mind to ask, "I'm a little perplexed by my good fortune of late." See, what did I tell you, formal! Michelle set down her fork and took a sip of wine, "Perplexed? I'm not sure what you mean James?" There she goes again, James, not Jim or Jimmy! Suddenly there were alarm bells ringing, red flags popping up all over, and the one twenty recalcitrant points realised that there was something brewing and they had better get their arses back to work. Conditioned as I was to people not using my full name, this just stood out like dog's balls. I took the time to look around the restaurant, and with all my IQ points now working on one project, I was able to regroup and mount a good defensive. My formality just got stronger as I kept my voice low and modulated. "I was here a couple of weeks ago and had the good fortune to meet and have dinner with another beautiful woman. Now I sit again with absolutely gorgeous company and wonder what I have done to make the gods of fate smile upon me once again!" "One would think that you have a suspicious nature James?" Michelle placed her wine glass down and tilted her head in query. Now I might be paranoid, but that doesn't mean that someone is not out, trying to kill me! For the first time in my life, I wished the person I was talking to would just call me Jim. I was feeling very uneasy. "My sister has just had a baby, and is still in hospital. I'm here visiting her and decided I really didn't want to cook for myself, so I came down to the only place in town you can possibly eat, hoping to find food and friendship. Is there anything sinister in that?" I smiled. "Not in the least Michelle. It's just that you are... and please forgive me for my forwardness. You are my vision of perfection! You look to be six foot, or thereabouts! Your legs go all the way to your... excuse the terminology, but go all the way to your eyeballs and such pretty crystal blue eyes the likes I have ever seen, they almost glow from within. Blonde hair down to your waist that flows like silk, and not to get too personal, but your other womanly charms are perfect as well. And that dress fits you so well, that it almost looks like it's painted on!" Michelle had the good grace to blush at my rendition of her physical attributes. "Why James, are you trying to seduce me?" She batted her eyelids coyly. "Thank you for your kind words, but for a start, I'm just short of five eleven. I try not to let my vanity rule me, but like most women I do like to feel desired." She took another bite from her plate. I sat and waited for Michelle to finish, flashes of Caroline's seduction attempt coming to mind. I now saw them as downright pathetic in comparison to Michelle. She looked as though she wanted to add, "With your flattery, what are we waiting for?" I almost laughed aloud, but kept it to myself. I now realised that Michelle's entire wardrobe was designed with this particular objective in mind, her hand movements were even more subtle than Caroline's. This woman knew her business! "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that everything I said was a seduction on my part. You are quite entitled to a modicum of vanity, that isn't what has me interested in your motives." I nodded over Michelle's shoulder. "There is one man over at a corner table, who on the surface seems to be a little more interested in us than the rest, which, by the way I can understand, because I have to admit, my ego is just tickled pink by their obvious jealousy. I know I'll have to put it on a strict diet after our evening, just to be able to function without looking arrogant. That man over there also looks familiar, but for the life of me I can't put a place to him." "So?" It was obvious that Michelle knew the effect she had on to opposite sex, and it showed in her smile, but she also looked a little antsy at the tone of the conversation I was setting. "So! I have to look around and wonder; there are four unoccupied tables, but I understand your want for company, so that explains that one. You look to be no older than twenty-five, while I'm ten years your senior! Taking in all the males in the room I see at least two closer to your age, better looking, and dressed as well, if not better than me." Michelle corrected me once again, "I'm thirty next month, but thank you for the compliment!" She was obviously trying to break my concentration. I nodded in recognition and continued, "I have no wish to offend you Michelle, but I feel there is more to this dinner than I'm being let in on. You remember that equally beautiful woman I just spoke of, although I have to admit, not quite in your league, but only because I have a penchant for tall, blonde women. She made it clear that if I was interested, then the night could have ended ... Let's say on a more amorous note. Now I have my flesh and blood Venus de Milo sitting here in front of me, almost offering the very same scenario. Can you explain that to my satisfaction?" Michelle took another big sip of wine this time and looked away for a second. "You seem to have a very poor opinion of your attraction to the opposite sex Mr Barrymore." I noticed the formality in change of names; she was backing off, but for what reason I could not fathom. "I can assure you, you stand head and shoulder above the others here in this restaurant in that regard." Michelle was still trying to remain professional, I was sure of that. I suddenly had a horrifying thought. 'Professional?' Surly not? That would just destroy my whole night if I found out that she was just drumming up business. "God I hope she's not on the game!" The Fickle Finger of Fate But that only left me with an even more terrifying thought, and this one saddened me a damn sight more, so I decided to call her bluff, and sighed, "Ohhh my dear you are good, but not quite good enough and that isn't any reflection on your talents. I'll tell you why. To start with, my father has a saying, 'There are enough people in the world ready to fool you! You don't need to add to their treachery by fooling yourself!" Michelle just sat there listening. "While I know I have faults, and probably more than I care to admit, I have been called among other things an anally retentive egotist. I am under no illusion as to my physical attractiveness to the opposite sex, and there are at least a couple of men here in this room who outshine me hands down!" I went ahead and filled Michelle in on the last couple of months with my wife. I could see Michelle's eyes squint in concentration, then harden in recognition as she heard of the prenuptial and the kind of friends my wife was socialising with. "So what you're saying is that you believe your wife is trying to set you up?" "In a nut shell my dear, if it weren't for that, I probably would have been clueless as to what you were up to! I am right, there is more to this evening then just pleasant dining company?" Michelle stared at her hands clasped tightly in her lap, "Your suspicions are not unfounded Mr Barrymore!" When I should have been happy and smiling about my Sherlock Holmes powers of deduction, what she'd just said made my face dropped instead. "It looks as though the time has come to clear the air, so to speak! I'm with an agency that deals with cheating spouses. We put the bait in the trap and wait for the cheater to take it." She could probably see my face cloud up in gathering annoyance. "Before you condemn me as a whore, I'd like to assure you that I haven't and will never actually bed any of the men I'm paid to seduce. The man over in the corner is my minder; he's here in case you, the mark gets, let's say, a little upset at being in that set up." I believe she threw that in, in case I was thinking of getting stroppy. I nodded my understanding, surprised at myself that I was relieved that this creature of beauty wasn't a common whore after all. "Now I remember where I saw him last! It was here, and I was in a conversation with him when he gave up his stool when the woman, what was her name?" I clicked my fingers trying to remember. "Ahhh ... Sarah, yes Sarah, if my memory serves me correctly, when she arrived." Michelle nodded. "Yes Mr Barrymore, her name is Sarah, and we work in pairs, it's safer and easier to shepherd the mark instead of us wasting time getting him by himself. Your wife contacted our agency with concerns that you may be having affairs when you were out of town on business. She gave us your picture and location, and the rest was up to us. This time she gave us your preference for tall blonde women, hence the reason I'm here. It seems as though we have both been set up?" I grunted my assent. "So that explains why you never shortened my name like most people do. Sarah knew my preference for James, am I right?" Michelle smiled sheepishly and nodded. My mood had morphed from jovial to sad, to agro in minutes, but I managed to keep it out of my voice. "It confuses and pains me to think a woman such as you would undertake this sort of unsavoury employment? Why are you in such a sordid business?" It was Michelle's turn to sigh. "You have just finished bestowing my physical qualities, and without wishing to appear any vainer than I really am, you have so graciously pointed out, I am just about damn near perfect, but..." I nodded knowingly, "There is always a 'but' in there somewhere, isn't there?" "You're right James. All this glamour, this artificial tinsel and wrapping comes at a price." This statement surprised me; there was more to the vision than meets the eye, as pleasant as that vision was. This woman knew what was real and important. It didn't stop her from using her talents, but then don't we all! "Kevin, my minder over there is a prime example of that price. You said yourself that he out shines you in the physical looks department and you're right, he, like me can have just about any woman he sets his sights on." Michelle dabbed at the corner of her eye with a tissue. She was getting upset, I wasn't sure why but I gave her time to settle. "But what comes along with that handsome and rugged good looking exterior is an ego and conceit that is just as ugly on the inside." Michelle stopped as in thought, and then continued. "He is the atypical manifestation of the adage, 'Beauty is but skin deep, while ugly goes clear to the bone!' He falls into the Bad Boy category, and while that is sexy and desirable as hell for one-night stands or casual relationships, it's not a good trait to have for a perfect husband. When it comes to that, he can't hold a candle to you James, you beat him hands down!" I watched as Michelle tried to reign in her emotions. A single tear again rolling down her cheek, and she removed it just as quickly with a delicate dab of her tissue. "Even with my beautiful good looks, I can't compete with that; even I can't hold their attention for long. That is where the double edge of my sword cuts both ways!" Michelle took a little time to gather herself. "The men such as you, who are far more attractive on the inside, are so absolutely intimidated by my looks. I have been married twice to men as handsome as Kevin and my last partner no less so. Two marriages and one long-term relationship in ten years isn't a good track record James! All of them have strayed because they feel they can for one stupid reason or another. That's the main reason I'm in this business. I despise infidelity." I sat pondering Michelle's confession, and truly felt for her plight. "I'm sorry I judged you unfairly Michelle. I have to admit to a certain amount of jealousy and it cuts me to the core having to admit to a failing as such." Michelle smiled sadly. "What was it you said to Sarah? Don't beat yourself up over it. We all have crosses to bear, mine maybe a little easier than some. For what it's worth, I'm glad you stuck to you principles and didn't succumb to my charms. It gives me hope that there may just be a soul mate out there, even for me. I am right aren't I, that you haven't fallen, and were probably never in any doubt about it, were you?" I dropped my head and grinned, she almost had me. "I have to tell you Michelle, that if I were to break my marriage vows, then you would be the only woman that could possibly have a chance to make me do it. I know that every man on this green atom we call earth would say that I'm certifiable for not going after you with a vengeance, but I have my principles and I will not corrupt them, even for you!" "Just so you don't feel too slighted, if I hadn't worked out your motives by the time dinner was over, then I would have gone back to my room, and proceeded to beat my head up against the brick wall, cursing my principles in the process. Finding out has saved me from a severe headache." I chuckled. Tears were falling freely from Michelle's chin, even as she chortled at my last statement. "Thank you James! Thank you for restoring my faith in love and the sanctity of marriage. I'm just sorry that it has come at such a high price for you." That statement hit me harder than I expected, having to admit that I wasn't actually thinking of my marriage while talking to Michelle. It bothered me that while I hadn't been physically adulterous, certainly my mind had strayed. I decided to leave it for some time when I had more time to contemplate. Brightening a little at the averted crisis, twenty-five of my IQ points went back to ogling this immaculate creature, while the rest took pleasure in conversing with Michelle on many levels. Ever the optimist, I took solace in the fact that, although this dinner had just about crucified my trust in my ever-loving wife, at least I've had the chance to meet and converse with my dream girl ... such is life. As our dinner wound down and Michelle prepared to leave, I took her hand and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "I'll remember tonight for the rest of my life Michelle. In addition, if it makes you feel any better, I have to believe that your beauty is a tad deeper than skin, and if things were different, then I'd have liked nothing more than to find out just how far to the bone yours goes. I know it might sound strange, but thank you for a very pleasant evening." Michelle's face brightened considerable as she stood and turned to go, before turning back to me smiling. "You know one of your qualities James?" I made a quick shake of my head and a shrug, "You're prodigious ability to make the people around you feel very special; Sarah commented on it to me before I came to meet you, and I have to agree with her. Kevin doesn't beat you by much in the looks department, James. But when it comes to personality and character, he is not even in the same book, let alone on the same page as you!" She winked and left, leaving me feeling good and sad at the same time. I got back to my room and closed the door. I had kept my anger under control all evening as events had unfolded, mostly due to Michelle's charm and poise, but now I was alone and I let out my frustrations by picking up a glass and throwing it savagely at the wall. "That fucking deceitful bitch!" It was at Kelly that my anger was directed. I knew I had to make a phone call home, but I wasn't sure if I could hold it together. The last thing I wanted was to give the game away. I knew I still didn't have any proof, but the smoke was getting thicker by the minute and I needed something more than what I had, if I was to prove Kelly innocent or guilty of adultery. I needed to keep her in the dark as much as she had kept me. I fucking hate the mind games stupid people play, just to amuse themselves! "Hi sweetie, how you doing?" I didn't trust myself with anything more than that to start with. Kelly giggled and it was something that was now making me angry and sick to my stomach. "How do you think I'm doing? Are you going to be home as planned?" I felt like reaching through the phone and grabbing her by the throat. Where did that come from? There would be only one reason she'd think that I wouldn't be home. Maybe she's thinking that I've hooked up with Michelle and have planned to stop an extra day? I needed time to get my cool back, so I made it sound that it wouldn't be tomorrow like I was striving for, but the next as planned, or the one after. "I'll call you when I know more, but you can count on at least two more days. Can you handle that sweetie?" I wanted to smash the phone to pieces as I said those words. Kelly sounded like she was pouting over the phone but accepted my apology. "I suppose there's not much we can do about it. Just get home as soon as you can baby." That wasn't the Kelly I knew and things like this didn't just roll off her, like water off a duck's back. She should be damn well waterlogged and she should have bitched and complained. Her cavalier attitude to extending my trip was so uncharacteristic of her. I felt a shudder at Kelly's endearment but managed to finish, "I will sweetie. I miss you my love; I'm very tired from work, and all I want to do is go to bed. I'll be home as soon as I can." Now that bit was the truth, having already finished my business here and planning to leave the first available flight out the following morning. With flight time and commuting, I should be home by lunch. ~...~ The following afternoon saw me walk into Lennard's office and throw a pair of sunglasses on his desk. "The man has returned, with good news I hope?" Lennard got out before he noticed the glasses. "What are these for James?" He queried as he picked them up at arm's length and held them to the window, looking though the lenses. "Just letting you now the rose coloured glasses are off Lennard. I have a suspicion that you were more right than I had wanted to believe!" Lennard's facial expression turned sour and he dropped the glasses into the waste paper basket beside his desk. "I thought you weren't going to be back for another day or so? You found out for sure then?" I shook my head. "Not for certain, but I have grave doubts as to her fidelity; enough to put one of your boys on to her tail at least! How do you know that I wouldn't be back so soon?" Lennard leaned back into his chair and laced his fingers on top of his head. "Ok James, the fickle finger of fate has flipped you the bird! That's not what's in question here. What you have to ask yourself is, do you lie down and accept it, or do you suck it up and get on with living? What are you going to do?" Lennard hadn't answer my question, but he didn't always answer if he thought the question wasn't that important, so I was sure I'd find out if it was. "For a start I have to suck it up, go home and pretend I know nothing, just like the stupid ignorant bastard Kelly thinks I am, all the while finding an investigator to check out her movements. Damn that's going to be hard, and I don't know if I can keep it together until I find out what she's been up to. I was never any good at drama class at school. The last thing I want to be doing right now is pretending I'm clueless, and have to follow God knows who into bed with her!" Lennard sat forward, dropped his hands and twiddled his thumbs, clearly agitated. "I might be able to help out there son." I just stared at him until he went on, "I took it on myself to do some checking for you. I knew you were too involved and in love to set the hounds on her, so I did it for you." I sat down heavily as my legs gave way. Even as I was telling Lennard of my suspicions, I was secretly hoping that there was some plausible explanation that I hadn't thought of to explain everything that had gone on, but Lennard's demeanour reeked of finality. I had the feeling that all my misgivings were about to be confirmed, and it was with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I waited for Lennard to continue. "I knew something wasn't right in paradise from your first trip." Lennard seemed reluctant to go on, but I assured him that I appreciated his help. "My boy kept your wife under surveillance while you were away. While he didn't get any evidence of any foul play, she did spend an extraordinary amount of time over next door, with a lot of people coming and going. I wasn't sure what to make of it, so I did something that could quite possible get me in very deep shit if it got out. I put a tap on your phone line and that is where I got all the facts." Lennard slid two cassettes across the desk to me. "We still don't have any photos of her doing anything, but these are the pictures of all the people who came and went while your wife was next door." Lennard said as he slid an envelope across the table. I opened it and took a look at them. "Don't worry about the phone tap; I'll sign any authorisation you need for it. It's my phone, I pay the damn bills and I can tap it if I want." Looking at the photos, I quipped angrily, "That's the four alright, every last damn one of them, plus a couple of singles I met on different occasions. Did you listen to the conversations? Is that why you thought I was coming home tomorrow or the next day? Lennard nodded his head. "Yeah I heard your conversation with Kelly last night. She immediately rang someone called Carol and set up a party for tonight next door at Pam's place. If you weren't coming home I was going to see if I could get some photographic evidence for you, though I know it was a long shot." "My boy said that all the blinds were kept tightly shut, so getting anything would be problematic. It's up to you James, but if you don't want to wait, we can hit them tonight and you won't have to put on a front for her until you get some visual evidence." I just sat in the chair and stared at my feet dejectedly. "Hell of a mess Lennard, one hell of a fucking mess! What did I do wrong?" Lennard picked up the Perspex box on his desk and toyed with it. "I know James, and for what it's worth, you don't deserve it my friend; no one does. Don't go flogging yourself mate. From what I saw of the two of you, you treated her right, no question of that. She just got in with a bad crowd, and you can't be blamed for that either. She's not a child who needs a minder James; she needs to take responsibility for her own actions." "You want to listen to the tape by yourself?" "I don't know? You've already heard it, so it really doesn't make any difference, does it! You being here might stop me from destroying your office!" By the tone of my voice, Lennard knew that both were statements, not questions, and didn't bother replying. Listening to the taped conversation was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The frivolity and contempt, the clear disrespect for me and our marriage made me so damn angry and sick at the same time. It had occurred to me at one time that I was partly responsible for her fall from grace. That was until her final phone conversation with Caroline. With every word out of Kelly's mouth, I could feel my love for her fade just that little bit more towards disappearing into obscurity. "It took a couple of days before I got the tap installed on your first trip away." Lennard said, sliding a cassette into the player, bringing me back to the moment. "It's the Friday night before you returned on Saturday. It doesn't prove anything unless you know what they're talking about, and certainly nothing you can take to court." Lennard hesitated and asked again, "You sure you want to hear it?" I looked at him. "Fuck no, Lennard. I don't want to fucking hear that my wife is fucking the entire fucking neighbourhood, but that's not my fucking call, now is it?" Lennard for all his stony face facade, looked as though he was again thinking back to his marriage breakups. "I'm sorry Lennard; I should not have ripped into you like that." Lennard's face, while still stony, had regret rippling across it. "That's okay mate. I understand perfectly where your head is. Hell of a thing to come to grips with, as you know, I've been there twice and I can tell you the second time wasn't any easier to handle than the first." "You talk too much, just hit the fuckin play button, ya mongrel!" I looked up at him and he had a sad smile on his face. "Hi Pam ... is everything ready for tonight?" "Sure is, what time will you be over?" "If he rings on time, then it'll be about the same as Wednesday night!" My stomach tightened; the bitch didn't even wait one night to go off fucking God knows who. I remember what she said that evening back from my first trip, "You've got some work cut out for you to make up for three lonely nights I had to suffer through." Yeah right, I don't think she was so fucking lonely now! "You're going to wear us out girl!" "Just have those cards warmed up, and ready. I'm feeling lucky tonight!" "Will do Kel. We'll be waiting." Lennard hit the eject button. "That's all we got for your first trip, not much I know. The rest is yours and her call that night, nothing for the following day either. Would have been good to have the wiretap in place before you went, but I didn't want to say anything to you until I knew something definite. As I said to you before, it sounds like she going over for a game of cards, and that isn't necessarily infidelity material. If it weren't for the photos of all the players, then I wouldn't have continued with the tap." Lennard slipped the second tape in. "This one is a little more damaging though." I was soon to find out that Lennard is prone to understatements of the devastating kind. He hit play and there was minor chatter to her mother and charities Kelly was involved in. Then came the conversation with me last night, then my world exploded in a mushroom of smoke.