16 comments/ 55376 views/ 20 favorites The Confessions By: MarcusPhaeton The First Entry I need to write this down. I don't know what I'll do with this journal - I'll probably just end up deleting the file - but for now I just need to write it all down. I haven't been able stop thinking about it all day, not for one single moment. When my kids came home from school, I was thinking about it. All during dinner with my family, I was thinking about it. While my husband made love to me, I was thinking about it. I couldn't sleep tonight, I tossed and turned for hours, so I finally I got out of bed and came downstairs. The thought occurred to me that maybe by writing it down maybe I could get it out of my head. So here I am, typing away on my laptop, and that's what I'm going to do - I'm going to write it all down just as it happened earlier today... My husband's at work, two of my kids are in school, and my youngest daughter is taking a nap in her bedroom. I go into my bathroom and pull the clip out of my hair, shaking my head and letting my curls fall around my shoulders. Leaning in close to the mirror, I brush on a little eye shadow and then carefully apply some crimson lipstick. Then I walk into the bedroom and open the top drawer of my lingerie chest, pulling out a pair of black stockings. I kick off my shoes and slip off my clothes, sitting on the edge of the bed in only my underwear. Then I pull my stockings on, smoothing them out on each leg and making sure that the lacey elastic tops are tight around my thighs. I walk into the closet and find a blue collared shirt that has buttons all the way up the front. I pull off my bra, step out of my panties, and pull the shirt on, fastening all but the top two buttons. It's really form-fitting, especially tight around my breasts, and I roll the sleeves up to the middle of my forearms. Then I look for the skirt. I haven't worn it in years, not since before the children were born, I'm not even sure I still have it. I'm almost ready to give up, and then I spot it under clothes on the top shelf. It looks so small - maybe it won't even fit me now. It's certainly snug going over my hips, but it slips nicely into place after I pull it up around my waist. Lastly, I step into a pair of black heels and walk back into the bedroom. I check myself out in the mirror. The skirt has a slit half way up the left side and I can see the lacey top of the stocking through it. The shirt is hugging my figure in all the right places. I look sexy. I feel sexy. I'm ready. I walk slowly down the stairs, carefully holding onto the railing - I'm more than a little out of practice walking in heels. When I reach the bottom, I walk down the hall, my heels clicking loudly on the hardwood, and then strut into the sunroom. There's glass on three sides of the room, and the afternoon sun is streaming in through the windows. I turn around and then sink into the cushion of the couch, leisurely crossing my legs. I put a hand behind my head, and then look over, locking eyes with the man sitting in the chair across from me. His eyes are all over my body. I have goose bumps, my nipples are tingling, and I feel a warm wetness between my thighs. He stands up and unfastens his belt. I look up at him and smile, and then he pulls his pants down around his ankles. His dick is hard. I can see it throbbing just a few feet away from me. He sits back down in the chair looks at me expectantly. I bend forward and reach down to adjust the strap of one of my shoes. Glancing up, I see him looking down my shirt, so I give him a naughty little grin. I sit back against the couch again and see that his hand is now wrapped around the base of his cock. One of my hands is absently caressing my thighs while I'm tracing the outline of my breast with my middle finger of my other hand. I hear him moan softly and see that he's stroking his dick now. I casually undo another button on my shirt and slip my hand in, and when I take a quick peek down at myself, I can see that half of my tits are exposed. When I see him leering at me, his eyes open wide, I laugh seductively. Now I slowly uncross my legs and move my hand up between my thighs. I need to open my legs a little so I can reach up and tickle my fingers through the hair of my pussy. My lips are swollen, they feel warm and tingly, and I can feel that the couch is wet underneath me. He's leaning over, trying to look up my skirt, and his fingers are moving quickly up and down his cock. I pull my hand out from under my skirt and bring a finger up close to my mouth. He's watching intently as I slowly lick my finger, and he groans softly. I suck two fingers into my mouth, getting them nice and wet, and then slip my hand back down between my thighs. I sink back into the couch and run my sopping wet fingers between the lips of my pussy. My other hand, still inside my blouse, is cupping and squeezing my breast, and I'm rubbing my stiff nipple against the silky fabric of my shirt. I'm so wet that I can feel my juices trickling down my legs, and I pull my other hand out of my shirt and put it between my legs too. I feel the muscles of my stomach start to quiver and my legs start to tremble. He can't see up my skirt but he sees my hands moving and he knows exactly what I'm doing. I can come now if I want to, but I want to watch him come. I sink down on the couch, letting my skirt ride up on my hips. He gasps, staring at my pussy. "Ooh," he moans slowly, and then faster "oh, oh, oh," and he pulls his shirt up off of his stomach. I know that he's about to come, and I'm ready too. My legs are shuddering and my stomach starting to spasm, but I'm trying to hold off just a little longer... Then he stops stroking his cock and he's completely still for a brief moment. And then I see him squirt thick globs of white cum up onto his belly. I come hard too, my whole body is convulsing with pleasure. As he's milking the last drops out of his dick, I'm shaking with the last spasm of my own orgasm. We both just sit there looking at each other and smiling. The Second Entry I just read what I wrote last night. What would someone think of me if they read that? They probably wouldn't think that I was a virgin when I met my husband, and that I've never had any kind of sexual experience with anyone else. Until yesterday, that is. What happened yesterday almost seems to me more like a dream than reality. I still can't believe that it happened at all. I only met that guy a few months ago, though it seems longer. He lives in a condo in our neighborhood. He's a single father with a little girl who is the same age as my youngest daughter. He just recently started working nights and that's when I started to see him around the neighborhood all the time. I ran into him at the playground, the pool, the park, the grocery store. Our girls were playing together so often that they became fast friends, and soon my daughter kept asking me if they could play at the house. I finally relented, and after meeting them at the park one day I invited him to bring his daughter over to the house. The girls had a great time and he next week he invited us to his condo for another play date. Pretty soon we were meet practically every week so that our girls could play together while my other kids were at school. One day they had come over and the kids played all morning. After lunch his little girl fell asleep on the couch, so we took her upstairs for a nap in my daughter's bed. Of course my daughter followed us up and said that she wanted to take a nap too. After he laid his little girl down, I told him to go ahead downstairs because I would be a while. I explained to him that it always takes me around half an hour to get my daughter down for a nap. But this time, I didn't even have to rock her, she just climbed into bed and cuddled up by her friend and was snoozing in just a few minutes. I went downstairs as quietly as I could so I didn't wake the kids. I went through the dining room, and when I walked into the kitchen, I saw him sitting on the family room couch. His eyes were closed. Then I saw that he had his pants down. It took me a few seconds to realize that he was jerking off right there on my couch. I was so shocked that I just stood there for a moment, staring at him. But then I snapped out of it and slowly tiptoed back into the dining room. I walked quietly back over to the staircase... but I didn't go up the steps. My heart was pounding with excitement and I had an overwhelming desire to go back and watch. I quietly walked through the hall into the kitchen and then peeked around the corner. I was much closer to him now, and I could clearly see his dick. I could even hear the sound of him stroking his cock. I didn't watch for more than a minute before he started to come. He pulled his shirt up and then shot a stream of white sticky cum onto his stomach, and then another and another. I watched until the last bit of cum had oozed out, and then I snuck back upstairs. I waited a few minutes before I can back down, and I made sure that I made a lot of noise on the steps. The following week I was at his condo on another play date. Now that I was paying attention, I caught him stealing a few glances at me. I also noticed when I was sitting close to him on the couch that there was a bulge in his pants. He excused himself and went to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed I got up and quickly tiptoed over, making sure the girls weren't watching me. I listened at the door, but I didn't hear anything at first. After a few seconds I heard something. It was difficult to make out so I put my ear right against the door, and then I recognized it. It was the same sound that I had heard last week, when he was jerking off on my couch. Soon I could hear him moaning softly. Then I heard him whisper, "oh, oh, oh god..." I quietly walked back to the couch, and when he came back out, I had a guilty smile on my face. The Third Entry I have to admit, I was flattered to think that I could turn a guy on so much that he would to jerk off right there in my house. I was excited to think that I made his dick so hard - twice. I was curious if he'd do it again. And I had an idea. My husband had set up a camera monitor in the finished basement, so I could watch the kids playing down there from any television in the house. Before our next play date, I moved the camera so that it pointed right at the couch in the basement. They came over a little later, and the girls played in the basement for a few hours. After lunch I took them up for a nap. I tucked them in and then went into my bedroom. I turned on the channel for the basement camera. There he was, sitting on the couch with his pants down around his ankles, feverishly stroking his long hard cock. I stood right in front of the television and watched. My hand was wondering down between my legs, but just then I saw him throw his shirt up and come. Almost every time he came over the same scene played out. One difference was that he wasn't in so much of a hurry, and he started to take longer, until he was jerking of for ten minutes at a time. The other difference was that I would lie in my bed and masturbate while I watched him. I started to feel excited anticipation as soon as I was walking the kids upstairs, and I got into my bedroom as fast as I could. He was always already jerking off by the time I turned the TV on. I'd lock the door to my bedroom and start to strip while watching him, and once I was nude I'd slip under the covers with my legs spread wide. The third time I did this, I remembered the vibrator that my husband had got me so long ago, before we were even married. I reached over and rummaged through the dresser, finally finding it wrapped up in an old night shirt. The batteries were dead, but I still put it to good use and then, and I made sure I put in fresh batteries in it for next time. This went on for a few weeks, and then one day I did something different. I left him in the basement as usual, and took the kids up for a nap, but instead of going into my bedroom I snuck back downstairs. When I got to the basement door, I slipped my panties off under my dress. I was so excited was trembling. I quietly climbed down the stairs and peered around the corner. I saw him sitting on the couch with his head back and eyes closed. He was slowly stroking his erect cock and groaning quietly every time his hand reached the tip. I licked my fingers and started rubbing my tingling pussy. I saw him slowly opening and closing his mouth and his tongue was licking and lapping at his lips. I knew that he was thinking about eating my pussy. Then he grabbed his dick, holding his hand still while he was thrusting his hips and moving his cock in and out of his hand. He was thinking about fucking me now, ramming his hard cock deep inside my wet cunt. Then he pulled up his shirt and I knew he was about to come. I massaged myself harder, getting ready to come myself. He rubbed the purple head of his dick and then he exploded. I heard him grunting as he ejaculated, shooting his gooey white cum all over his stomach. I came too, and I imagined that he was squirting cum all over my naked body. The Fourth Entry I invited him and his daughter over again the next week, even though it was his turn to host. Once again I tucked the girls into bed and then I tiptoed down to the basement door. Once again I stepped out of my panties and then quietly went down the stairs into the basement. Once again I was already wet, my pussy was hot and tingling. I slowly peered around the wall. Once again, he was sitting on the couch. Then I saw that he was fully dressed and looking right at me! I froze. "Hey," he said. I felt myself blushing and stepped out from behind the wall. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I just... I just put the girls down," I stammered. He smiled shyly and asked "Why were you sneaking around like that?" I was so nervous my hands were shaking, and I didn't know what to say. He looked down at the floor. "Last week, when I was over... I thought I saw you. I thought I heard you sneaking up the stairs." I was absolutely horrified. "Did you... did you see me?" he asked. I was too ashamed to say anything, but I nodded guiltily. He turned bright red and started to apologize. I stepped downstairs and stood by the end of the couch as he told me that he hadn't been with a woman in years. He tried to explain that I was the only women that he ever spent any time with. Then he told me that he'd had dreams about me, and when he was with me he would think about them. I sat back against the couch and crossed my legs. I told him to tell me about the dreams. He looked surprised for a second, and then said, "They were... sexual dreams." I told him to tell me about one. It took some more coaxing, but then she did. "I was sitting on the couch in my living room and you walked in through the door. You were wearing that long gray dress with buttons all the way up the front. You walked over to me and... you undid the buttons, starting and the top. And then you took it off and you weren't wearing anything underneath." I had to ask him what happened next. "You pressed your body against mine. I pushed you to the floor and..." I could see that he was hard, and I asked him if he was excited now. He nodded sheepishly. "Do you... want to do it now?" I asked. He swallowed hard. "It's okay - go ahead," I whispered. I ran one of my hands across my thigh. He looked down at my crossed legs and then he I watched his eyes moving all over my body. When he looked into my face again I smiled at him. He slowly stood up and untucked his shirt. Then he pulled his pants down, but his shirt was long enough to cover himself. He sat down again on the couch and looked at me. One hand was between his legs and moving under his shirt. I took a deep breath and then arched my back, pushing my tits towards him, and rubbed my legs together as I adjusted myself on the couch. Then I sat still, watching him. It didn't take long. He pulled his shirt up and I saw his cum already spurting out of his cock. I watched the last drops gush out, and then I got up and walked into the bathroom. When I got back I handed him some tissues and then went upstairs. When he came up, I pretended that it never happened. As he was leaving I asked him if he could come over again next week. The Fifth Entry He came over earlier than usual. He smiled a lot and was very enthusiastic about playing with the kids. When the girls were ready for their nap, I told him I'd take them up. "I'll be a few minutes, why don't you wait in the chair in the sunroom?" I asked. He had a silly grin on his face and nodded. A few minutes later I came downstairs in the sexy outfit that I described in the first entry of this journal. After it was over, after we both came, we smiled at each other. Then I got up and went upstairs without saying a word. I came back down in the same outfit I was wearing earlier, and he had cleaned up and was sitting on the couch. I stood over him and said, "Okay, here are the rules. First, there's no touching. Second, I'm in control, always. And last, we don't talk about it, not with each and not with anyone else." He nodded and said "Okay." Then we chatted about the weather and current events until the girls got up. As he was leaving we arranged another play date. That was last week. I haven't seen him in six days now, but he's finally coming back over tomorrow. The Sixth Entry I made his dream come true today. I told him to wait on the couch in the sunroom. When I came down stairs, I was wearing the same dress that I had worn in the dream he had told me about. I walked over and stood in front of him, my hands on my hips. "Remember, no touching," I whispered. He nodded. I started to unbutton. He sat up a little and pulled his pants down so quickly that his dick sprang out and smacked against his belly. I chucked at him and kept unbuttoning. He was stroking his cock pretty fast and he had an eager grin on his face. When all the buttons were undone, I just stood there in front of him, the dress in danger of falling open at any second. I looked down at him and smiled and then... pulled my dress off. I was standing there in nothing but my heels. He came immediately, he didn't even have time to pull his top up and just came all over his shirt. I picked my dress up, slung it over my shoulder, and walked back up stairs. I was a little disappointed, since I didn't have a chance to come myself. By the time my husband was due home from work I really needed some satisfaction. I put a movie on in the basement for the kids and told them not to come up until I called them for dinner. I locked the basement door, just to make sure we wouldn't be interrupted. When my husband walked in, I was sitting on the kitchen table with my legs dangling over the side. He looked at me, totally surprised, and asked me what's up. "I need you to eat me," I said, opening my legs. I didn't have any panties on under my dress. He hesitated for a moment and then smiled. He sat in the chair and pulled me close to his mouth. He started to devour my pussy, licking and sucking me greedily, and I soon came all over his face. He stood up, wiping his mouth, and asked where the kids were. "Basement. Movie. Door's locked," I replied, unbuckling his pants. His hard cock sprang out of his underwear and he shoved it inside of me. As he started to fuck me, I lay back on the table and looked at him seductively. He started groping my body through my dress, and then he ripped it open and started to suck on my tits. Soon he stood back up and pulled my mouth to his. I could smell my pussy on his breath, and he told me he was close. I said, "Give it to me baby." He grabbed my hips and started to ram his dick deep inside me, and I held his ear to my mouth. "I need your cum inside me," I purred. I could feel him ejaculating. "Oh yeah, that's it, fill me up, fill me up with your cum, baby." The Confessions Game A/N: This is a selection from Loose, a story I previously shared about a queer physical therapist who gets into a threeway relationship with a femdom and her rockstar husband. You can find more details about Loose on my profile. ***** While in a meeting with his bandmates and their manager, Blair, Griffin shifted his weight onto a bulge in the back pocket of his jeans. He grinned. In the past month, he'd been keeping his women's panties on his person, and good luck had abounded. The album was finished, and his band was up for a front-page interview in a major magazine to boost the first single. His grin broadened as he thought back to his girlfriend, Chakah, packing for Fremont and complaining that he'd depleted her underwear supply. She hadn't understood why he couldn't keep one clean pair and leave the rest alone. Griffin had explained that undies were nothing to him without her seasoning on them; and though she'd given him a look, Chakah had rolled with it. His wife, Luz, enjoyed his habit. Sometimes she made a game of tackling him and finding his good-luck panties, only to use them as a gag and fuck him once she did. Lost in thoughts of their burgeoning threeway relationship, Griffin declined Blair's offer to take them all out to celebrate. He told his bandmates he had errands to run. "Gotta get home to his wifey," their bassist, Ace, teased. He made a joke about being whipped that aggravated Griffin's qualms about "submission." Just thinking the word still made him squirm, despite the late night Internet research he'd done. He'd begun to think he could get down with BDSM if nobody knew, but now he wondered if his inclinations had been evident during his whole ten years of marriage. His wife had been a femdom, after all. Blair socked Ace's shoulder as the bassist shuffled out of the office behind the other guys. "Don't be insensitive." Griffin disliked that comment just as much. Since Luz had returned to public life following her car accident, rumors about their divorce were worse than ever. He'd been trying to keep a cool head and focus on the positive, efforts that hadn't been helped by Blair's attempts to parlay the rumors into publicity. True to form, his manager said, "I'll email you the preview questions for the interview. Like I expected, they asked if the new single is about your divorce." "And I already told you, it ain't." "That's gonna be a tough sell, since you dedicated the song to another woman at your New Year's party. Luckily, she's nobody, but..." Blair shrugged. Griffin struggled to keep his expression neutral. "Chakah's not nobody. She used to be my wife's physical therapist, and now she's a close—" The word friend stuck in his mouth and tasted like a lie. "We're all close." "You know what I mean: she's not hot. But they're still going to wonder what that was about." Griffin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from defending Chakah. That would only add fuel to a fire he was trying to put out. Though much shorter of stature, Blair placed a hand on Griffin's shoulder. He made a sympathetic face that seemed as fake as his tan. "You know, I could get you booked on a talk show tomorrow, if you're willing to confirm the split. Females love a wounded heartthrob, and everyone knows your wife is a raging feminist. We could spin it as—" "I ain't gettin' divorced, Blair." Griffin shrugged off his manager's cold-fish touch and strode toward the door. "And for the record? Raging feminist pussy is delicious." Fury made him deaf, dumb, and blind on the elevator ride down to the parking structure. Though he'd only planned to go box and then grab dinner, he ended up at Luz's loft after reading a rumor that she had gotten into an altercation with paparazzi and reinjured her leg. He'd been following her around in the month since she'd moved out of his house, but it wasn't like he interfered or foamed at the mouth like a peeping Tom. He simply felt an undeniable need to check up on her. He didn't call, even though he now sat in his car across the street from her place. If she picked up, she'd only ask him to agree on a new mediation date, since he'd faked an emergency to get out of the first one. Griffin banged his fist against the steering wheel, still regretting he'd pulled such a stunt when there wasn't even anything to argue. He had no problem with her getting what California common law said she deserved. Meanwhile, Luz didn't seem to care one way or the other. She just wanted to move on—but to what still scared him, despite two days a week with a shrink. He felt rudderless without someone in his life to love. "Pathetic," he muttered, though his therapist had said having a big heart didn't necessarily make him needy. Griffin laughed darkly, figuring she'd change her tune if she knew where he was right then. He picked up his phone to check the time and saw a text message from Chakah. Griffin smiled, hoping she was having a good time in Fremont at her sister's wedding, but the corners of his mouth soon dropped at the news she'd had another run in with her mother Lorraine, who was as mean in her criticisms of Chakah being big as she was steadfast in her denial about Chakah being queer. Her best friend Briggs had sent the message in her stead, saying Chakah needed support. Fired up on her behalf, Griffin pounded the steering wheel so hard he set off the horn. He called to get the address to Chakah's family's home, needing to wrap his arms around her to be sure she was okay. After the call went to voicemail, he bit the bullet and called Luz for the address. At first, he thought she wouldn't answer, either. The phone rang several times before he looked up to see Luz standing at her window. "Shit." Panicked, Griffin started the engine and began to pull away. Having answered the phone, she said, "I already see you in the car, perv. Why are you leaving?" After bouncing his dumbass skull off the seat's headrest, Griffin plastered what he hoped was a not-creepy smile on his face. He looked at her and waved. She flipped him off. Shifting back into his parking space, he asked, "Would you believe I raced over here as soon as I heard the news?" "Nice try. I'll be down in a few." Ten minutes later, Luz pushed through the front doors of her building, carrying a bag. She was talking on the phone and looked stunning in a retro, navy-and-white romper perfectly suited for a balmy June night. With her short, dark hair spiked up and next to no makeup, Luz looked like the hard femme nineteen-year-old girl she'd been when they'd met at a gas station ten years ago. Griffin popped the locks then pulled his T-shirt up to his nose, hoping he didn't smell as badly as he looked. It shouldn't have mattered. They weren't going on a date. Still, after she slung her bag in the backseat and then climbed in beside him, he felt nervous. Luz covered her handset. "Her father and sister are with her now, but I gathered that her family still doesn't know about the three of us. If we both show up, Chakah will have to explain it, and I'm sure she's not ready for that conversation right now. In fact, she was hinting that she doesn't want us to be bothered coming." "Well, Briggs ain't our biggest fan, so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have messaged us both if Cha-Cha didn't need us there." "Good point. He said he'll call when they leave, but it's looking like an all-nighter. He suggested we check into a hotel and come in the morning. Wedding guests are staying at the Hilton." "Then here comes the cavalry. I just need to run home to get some things." He turned on the car and put it in drive. "You got the hotel's address?" After she showed him a text on her phone, and he entered it in the car's navigation system. Luz smiled at him. She looked like she was about to say something, but instead touched his hand. Griffin clasped hers in return; and, during the drive to his house, he lit up like a Fourth of July sparkler over the fact neither of them let go. His therapist had said he should get over his longing for Luz's approval, even as she was so much like the hard-to-get rich girls he'd lusted after while growing up in the Florida panhandle. However, he no longer was that poor boy; and even if his past explained why he'd wanted Luz at first, it sure as shit couldn't account for him staying with her, or still seeing her in his future. As far as he was concerned, love explained why her influence and approval made him feel so good, and Griffin couldn't see what in hell was wrong with that. Once on the way to Fremont, they ended up stuck in traffic even after making a few adjustments to the route. Idling on the highway, Griffin braced his elbow on the window panel. "You know, I thought you were gonna rip me a new one for being at your place tonight." "I thought about it, but it's not news to me that you're a perv." Griffin scowled. He'd thought she was joking when she'd called him that earlier. "It ain't like I was jerkin' off." She raised short, shiny nails to her lips, seeming to conceal a grin while tail lights cast a wicked red glow across her face. "What? You don't actually think I would?" Still grinning, Luz said, "I was just thinking that Dominique calls you 'McGruff the Crime Dog' instead of Griff, because he says you get a kick out of staying up under me like 'a nosy, overprotective German shepherd'." He tried to look offended—especially since McGruff was a bloodhound and her best friend Dominique apparently didn't think he was that sweet tempered—but couldn't deny it was an accurate assessment. Griffin cleared his throat and sat up straighter, feeling uncomfortable. Luz peered at him, mirth dancing in her eyes. "It's not a bad thing. I've been hoping for a pet anyway. Or a little." The kink references clicked, and he blurted, "You mean somebody wearing kitty cat ears and a fuzzy butt plug?" "Maybe. Some just like being petted and trained. Knowing they have a cherished place in my care makes them feel loved, even safe." He tensed, feeling as though she were reading notes from his therapy sessions. However, instead of diagnosing him with "maladaptive appetites" like his shrink had, Luz saw his needs as things to cherish. Griffin kept glancing from the cars creeping along around them to her face. She was watching him intently. "Are we really talkin' about this?" "I don't know, Griff. Are we? This is the furthest you've ever gone in a kink conversation with me without yelling about how you 'ain't fuckin' submissive, for chrissake'." "Submissive sounds better than perv," he muttered, "but neither of them sounds normal." "Whose normal? Straight White guys, husbands and wives, and picket-fence families? A lot of us don't fit that mold, so what are we supposed to call ourselves?" Griffin flushed, trying not to get his back up. She continued, "People throw names at anyone who doesn't fit their expectations. Normal isn't about what feels right; it's about what looks right, to other people. And as long as you care more about them than you do about me and Cha-Cha, you'll never be happy with us. We'll never be normal, Griff. Get over it." Griffin swallowed hard, thinking back to what Blair had said about Luz being a "raging feminist" and Chakah not being "hot," each label intended to knock the women down from the pedestals they occupied in his heart. He reminded himself he wasn't a boy anymore and didn't need to prove himself to his parents, rich girls, or guys like Blair, in order to be liked. Instead, he had love. It overflowed in Luz's eyes, and he'd seen the same in Chakah's. What they needed to know was whether they could trust him to protect their love, and that was a grown man's job. Griffin put a hand to his heart. "God's honest truth? When we met, you shined so bright that just havin' you in my life made me look good. I depended on that to get ahead in my career as much as I resented it sometimes. I tried so hard to be what I thought was worthy—normal, I guess—that I didn't stop to ask what you thought was worthwhile, and I'm sorry for that from the bottom of my heart. I should've asked what you wanted and needed, the same way you asked me when we started the trio." "It means a lot to hear you say that." She studied him with soft eyes. "I know you don't like the sound of negotiating a relationship, but I'm just trying to make sure anything we do is good for you too." "Yeah, it started to click on Valentine's Day when you talked about honorin' what I wanted. Love, honor, and obey—those are the vows, right?" She snorted. "You never promised to obey, and I sure as shit didn't." "I might not mind givin' it a try, behind closed doors anyway." He winked at her. Laughing as she smiled, Luz didn't say anything, instead curling her hand around his biceps and then leaning her head on his shoulder, like a girl listening to a fairytale she'd waited forever to hear. Griffin continued, "Hard as it's been for me to face all the messed up reasons why we got together, I know why we stayed together: I loved you. Still do." She still didn't speak, but Griffin saw her run an index finger beneath each of her eyes. "You cryin', babe?" "Yes." Luz picked up his hand and raised it to her lips to kiss. "Yes, I am." Once they made it to the other side of the bridge, traffic wasn't as bad, and they soon reached the Hilton hotel. Unfortunately, they found the front drive packed with cars and the lobby full of people. As they neared the front desk, Griffin swore he heard Chakah's name mentioned as they passed. The young desk clerk confirmed that the DuBois wedding had packed the hotel. "I'm sorry, but we don't have anything available. Many of the family from out of town just arrived for the big day tomorrow." Griffin got on his phone to check for available rooms at nearby hotels, but he came up empty. "You sure there ain't nothing you can do? We'll only be here one night. Gotta be somebody with a delayed flight or something." He reached in his wallet, then slid a large bill across the counter. "Let me take another look," the clerk said. Minutes later, he and Luz were riding the elevator up to the bridal suite, which the DuBoises had booked for the weekend. Luz and Griffin had paid the entire suite rental as an anonymous gift to the couple, with the proviso that they would vacate by eight the next morning. After the doors opened onto their floor, Griffin asked, "Is this weird, or is it just me?" "It's weird," Luz agreed. They arrived at their door, which he opened with a card key. To Griffin's relief, the room wasn't hokey. Though he would've liked to share the king size bed for old time's sake, he only placed Luz's bag on the luggage rack in the bedroom. They seemed to have turned a corner, and he didn't want to push his luck. "I'll take the couch," he offered, awkwardly shucking his head toward the front room. "You feel like room service? I'm starvin'. I skipped dinner." "Me too. I was getting dressed to meet Dominique when I got Briggs's message." She winced as she sat on the bed. "If there's a dinner salad or something, I'd like that. Anything that doesn't have to be warmed up. I want to use the bath first." "You okay?" "I usually have pain around this time of night. A hot bath will help." "I'll run one for you." Luz smiled, but said, "It's fine. I can do it." "I know. I just want to be there for you, that's all." He dropped his bag and reached out to brush back hair from her forehead. Griffin's heart beat faster to realize she wasn't pulling away. "I hate that you got hurt." His words were barely audible, a grumbled confession he hadn't planned to make. "I fuckin' hate it." Looking pained, Luz pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm. "M'ijo, I'm fine. You have to let it go." "Yeah," he agreed on a deep exhale. She was right, but that fact didn't penetrate deeper than his memories of seeing her lying broken on the street, while their neighbor had screamed at him not to touch her. "But I can't." Studying him with an intense expression he couldn't read, Luz linked their fingers. "Maybe I can help, if you're game." Griffin took a deep breath, feeling like all roads had been leading to this door. All he had to do was open it and walk through, which sounded easier than it felt. "What are you gonna do to me?" She slid her fingers up and down between his in a gentle but arousing massage. "What would you like me to do?" "You're askin' me?" "Yes. That's what why it's called a negotiation." Fast and without thinking, he said, "Make me feel like everything's gonna be okay," and couldn't shake feeling pathetic as he did. "I know that's asking for a lot. I still got a long way to go in therapy. But like I told you before, what you think means everything to me." She murmured something in Spanish he didn't understand, but it sounded as sweet as her lips felt brushing against his fingertips. "In that case, I have an idea. Get my cosmetics case, will you?" Griffin went to the luggage rack and unzipped her bag, then frowned at the disorganization. "Still can't pack your clothes without me, huh? This blue dress is as wrinkled as an old man's balls." "I was in a hurry," Luz defended herself with a chuckle. Griffin began to relax as he unpacked their things. As requested, he put Luz's cosmetics case on a side table, then moved on to other tasks as she directed. The familiarity of caring for her felt really good, especially since she made an effort to encourage him with caresses and warm thanks. He ordered room service before running her bath, then later served their meals on an ottoman that he'd moved from the living room to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, Griffin simply watched her while he ate; and for a change, he didn't question the contentment he felt. Whatever it was called, he'd missed having it in his life. After they both were finished, Griffin helped her out of the tub then toweled her off. He carried away the room service tray while Luz continued to dry her hair. When he returned to the bedroom, she thanked him for the surprise he'd left by her bedside: a few strawberries and a half bottle of champagne he'd ordered with dinner. Luz sat on the bed and suggested, "Why don't you take off your clothes, and then make us a nightcap?" "Yes, ma'am." Excited, Griffin did as asked. After sitting next to Luz where she patted the mattress, he handed her a flute of champagne and raised his in a silent toast. Hope was too thick in his throat to say anything. "Cheers." She slowly looked him over while she sipped. God, it felt good to be seen. Other women looked at him all the time, but their eyes only skimmed the surface. Much as Luz's perceptiveness used to make him feel naked—and probably always would—he'd come to appreciate that his wife had seen through to the roots of him for years and still had loved him. A swallow of champagne went down hard as Griffin realized he'd have to start calling her something else besides his wife. She asked, "Would you like to play a game?" "What kind of game?" "I call it Confessions. The point is for me to help you admit something that will make you feel better once it's out. But the game might hurt a little before you get there." Blood rushed to his head—the one downstairs. "'Hurt'? Like that time you slapped me while you were ridin' me?" "Yes. Would you like to feel that again?" Griffin shifted his legs, trying to hide the fact he had a hard-on. "I ain't sayin' no," he muttered noncommittally. Luz's clasped his jaw and forced his eyes to meet hers. "No half-truths. Anything you say during the game, you have to own it...or else. Do you understand?" Her nails bit into his five o'clock shadow. It felt like being in therapy, except sexier and less scary. Luz wasn't a detached professional coolly reinterpreting the things he said. She would take care of him, always had. The knowledge was heady. The Confessions The Seventh Entry I haven't written in so long, I don't have time to write about everything that's happened. But there are a few things I want to get down. One day I came down in jean shorts with white stocking and black pumps. I wore a white sweater shirt with only the middle two buttons fastened and while lace bra and thong underneath. I stood in front of him and slowly striped out of the jeans and shirt, and then sat on the couch in just my underwear. I took of the bra and thong and fingered myself wearing just the heels. When he came, he shot some cum onto the chair, right beside his head, and he had to rub it out of the fabric with a wet towel. Another day I came down in just my short gold night gown with the spaghetti straps, wearing nothing underneath. I sat up with my legs up on the couch and let him feast his eyes, and then I slyly let one of the straps fall off my shoulder. The top caught on my nipple and hung there for a few seconds, until I moved again and it fell lower so he could see one of my breasts. Then I reached up and pulled the strap off my other shoulder, letting the top fall all the way down. I crossed my legs and leaned back, arching my back to shamelessly display my tits to him. Then I lay down on the couch with the gown down around my waist and rubbed my hands on both sides of my pussy, gently massaging my burning lips together. A few time I asked him to tell me what he was thinking about while he was jerking off. In one case, I was wearing a tight little black dress with nude pantyhose and heels. He told me that he was imagining sneaking up onto our deck late at night when my husband and I just got home from an evening out. He peered in the window of our family room and saw my husband sit on the coach while I pulled the dress up and straddled him. When he told me that, I pulled my dress showing him that I was wearing a garter belt with no panties. Then he continued with his fantasy, telling me that while I was straddling my husband, I started to pull my dress up. He told me that when the dress was above my tits and over my head my husband grabbed my hands and held my dress over my eyes. I did exactly as he said right there in front of him, pulling my dress up over my tits and then holding the dress over my head. I couldn't see him, but I was standing before him in nothing but my garter, stockings, and heels. He told me he was imagining my husband, still holding the dress over my face, kissing and licking my tits and fingering my pussy. I was still holding the dress up over my face, but with one hand I reached down and started to feel my tits and pussy. I could only hear him coming that time. Once I came down in nothing but one of my husband's large white t-shirts, and he told me fantasy about me at a bar in a wet-t-shirt contest. I was in in front of a room full of drunken guys and he was dousing me with water. I was pulling the wet shirt tight around my body so everyone could see my tits. I went into the laundry room, took off the shirt, got it soaking wet in the tub, and then came back and stood in front of him again. He continued his story, telling me that when the men in the bar were screaming and hollering for me to show them more, I turned around and got down on all fours. I gave him a mischievous grin and then turned around and got down on all fours, just as he said. Then I did what he told me, sticking my ass up in the air and fingering my pussy until we both came. He once told me a fantasy involving shaving my pussy. So the next time he was over, I prepared a nice foamy bubble bath. When I can down, I asked him if he could hear the water running and he said yes. I told him to come up exactly one minute after it stopped. When he came up, I was in the bath, everything but my face was covered in bubbles. He sat on the edge of the tub and watched me run my hands all over my body in the soapy water for a while. I stood up out of the water, with some suds strategically placed, and sat on the opposite end of the tub. I had some saving cream and a razor there, and I saved my pussy for him. When I was done, I fingered my smooth pussy until he came. Now I hadn't shaved down there for years, and my husband actually preferred me hairy, so I surprised him when he got home. He was playing with the kids in the sun room while I was preparing dinner. I asked him if he could give me a hand, and when he came into the kitchen, I shoved his hand down my pants to my bald pussy. He was hard when I sent him back into the sunroom with the kids. A few minutes later, I asked him for some more help, and he followed me into the dining room. I sat in one of the chairs with my pants down around my ankles and let him lick my bald pussy until I came. He was still hard when he left and probably all through dinner. After the kids had desert, we sent them in the backyard to play, and my husband had his desert. I spread some whip cream on my pussy and he licked it off, nibbling, sucking, licking. After I came, he went into the sunroom and sat on the couch. I climbed on top of him, looking out the window to make sure the kids were okay and still playing, and then started to ride him. When he was ready to come, he stood up with me still on him and then lay me down on the couch. Then he pulled out and sprayed his cum on my hairless pussy. The Tenth Entry I'm reading back over the things I've written and I can barely believe it. I realize that someone reading this must think that I'm some kind of slut. As I've already said, I've never been with anyone other than my husband, an despite everything that's happened, he's still the only man whose ever touched me. I also have been telling my husband about everything just as it happens. My husband likes me to talk during sex. He often asks me to tell him dirty stories. What usually happens is that he will eat me until I come, and then I tell him what I was thinking about while he fucks me. The better the story I tell him the more he comes. I've told him hundreds of stories over the years. And now, I simply stopped making up stories and told him what I actually did. After my first experience, the one I wrote about in the first entry, my husband and I had sex that very night, and I told him exactly what happened earlier in the day. After the kids went to bed, he had a few beers and I had a glass of wine and took a bath. I thought all about what I had done, reliving it in my mind and getting so excited I started to finger myself under the bubbles. After I got out of the bath, I went downstairs and found my husband in the sunroom, working on his laptop. I was wearing a slinky little night gown with no underwear on underneath. I took his laptop out of his hands and put it on the table. "I have to tell you something," said and kissed him passionately. "I think you are going to like it," I chuckled as I pulled him out of the chair and sat in his place. He was standing over me looking down as I spread my legs and showed him pussy. "I had a man here at the house today while you were at work." He smiled, and got down on his knees and started to gently kiss my thighs. "He sat right over there," I said pointing to the couch. "I went upstairs and dressed like a slut for him. I put on the shortest little miniskirt I have, with stockings and a tight shirt, and no underwear. Then I came down here and strutted into this room and sat right here in this chair." My husband was licking me now, using his fingers to spread my lips open. "I started to touch myself for him, and I stuck my hands under my skirt. He was stroking his dick and watching and I loved it. I showed him my pussy and I let him watch me finger fucking myself, and then I watched him shooting his cum all over and I came too." I came then, and my husband sat down on the couch and I climbed on top of him, guiding his cock into me. He asked me to tell him more. I smiled and said that was all, and he told me the ending needed work. So as he fucked me, I made up a better ending for him. The Ninth Entry He came over twice this week. The first day, he was waiting for me in the basement, sitting on the couch. I came down and stood in front of him. Then I turned around and shimmied the long skirt slowly down, showing him my ass. I turned around and fingered my pussy through my thong. Then I reached under my shirt and unhooked my bra, pulling it out of my shirt and throwing it on the floor. Then I lifted the shirt over my head so he could see my tits. I pulled the thong down and kicked it off, so I was standing completely naked in front of him. The thong lands on the floor, a few feet away from him, and he stops jerking off long enough to pick it up. He's sniffing it and then he starts to lick it, tasting my juices. He comes with my thong in his mouth. Two days later, he came over again, and this time I wore some silky underwear. I sat in the chair and masturbated through my panties, getting them soaking wet. I came twice in them, and when I take them off they're nice and creamy. I threw them over to him and he held them to his nose, sniffing them eagerly. I watched him lick at the crotch of my panties and I could see my cum on his tongue. He wrapped my panties around his cock and then squirted his own cum into them. I took my panties out of his hands and went upstairs to get dressed. In my bathroom, I was rubbing his come between my fingers as I washed my panties in the sink. The Tenth Entry This week the girls were just not interested in napping. I tried to get them to calm down by watching a movie, but they would not sit still. I took them upstairs anyway but they wouldn't even lie down in the bed. When I came down with them again I could see how disappointed he was, but there was nothing we could do. We went down in the basement and the kids continued playing. I went behind the bar got some water and asked him if he wanted some too. He came over and stood next to me. I was wearing the gray dress that buttoned all the way up the front, which he liked so much and had had that dream about. He was looking me over and I saw that the kids weren't paying us any attention. I put my water down and turned my back to the kids, and then I started to unbutton. He watched for a second, then looked over to make sure the girls were preoccupied, and then he pulled his pants down enough so he could pull his cock out. I opened up the front of my dress for him, letting him gorge his eyes on my naked tits and pussy. While he's stroking his cock, I reached down and start felling myself too. When he started to spurt, he's so close to me that a few drops of his cum lands on my leg. The Eleventh Entry It was an accident when some of his cum land on me, but since it had already happened, I let it happen again. First I let him come all over my legs while I was wearing some pantyhose, which I threw away afterwards. The next time he asked if he could come on my bare legs. I sat with my legs crossed and he stood over me, his dick less than a foot away. His sticky cum splattered on my thighs and ran down my legs. I didn't want it to get on the couch, so I rubbed it all over my thighs before I stood up. The next week he wanted to come on my chest. I lay down on the couch and he stood over, pointing his cock at my breasts, and he squirted globs of thick hot cum all over my tits. I rubbed it all over my nipples with one hand while I fingered my pussy and came with the other until I came too. The next time I saw him, he wanted to come on my breasts again, but this time he sat on the couch and I kneeled between his legs. I squeezed my tits together and when he came I felt his gooey ejaculate on my skin and between my fingers, and then I rubbed it all around with my hands. I let him watch me wash off in the shower and he came on me again under the running water. And now, just today, I sat on the couch with my legs spread wide and he walked between my thighs and stoked his dick. He looked down at me and I nodded, and a few seconds later he was shooting his load all over my hairy pussy. I could feel his cum running down between my legs. I reached down and started to finger myself, rubbing his cum into the tingling lips of my pussy, until I came too. The Twelfth Entry The kids were playing in the basement again and I was in the kitchenette washing some dishes. He came up behind and reached around me to get a napkin. I felt his stiff cock press up against my ass. I looked back and he said sorry, but he didn't move. I was wearing a tight fitting summer dress and the fabric was thin. I rubbed back against him. He looked over, saw the kids were busy, and pulled his cock out. I put my elbows on the counter and bent over, and he rubbed his dick against my dress. I reached between my legs, pulled my panties down around my ankles, and then pulled my dress up. I heard him sigh and then felt his cock touch my skin for the first time, and he only thrust a few times before he was spurting cum all over my ass. The next time was at his condo. He came into his kitchen after putting the kids to bed in his daughter's room and I was leaning over the counter. I had pulled my pants and underwear down and was sticking my bare ass up in the air. He walked over, dropped his pants, and buried his fat cock between the cheeks of my ass. As he was thrusting in and out, I reached down between my legs and started to finger my pussy, and then I felt his balls. I reached back and cupped them, and soon I felt them pulsating as he shot his load up onto my back. I week later we were in my kitchen. I came down wearing heels and a negligee. He was sitting at the table watching as I stopped at the counter and leaned over it with my legs were wide apart. He stood up and walked behind me, and then I felt his dick on my ass. He rubbed it against me for a while and then I felt the head of his cock move down between my legs. His dick is between the lips of my pussy, but not going inside, just rubbing on the outside. I wasn't sure if it was an accident or not, but it felt so good that I didn't say anything. Then I grabbed his hand and lead him over to the couch. I sat down and he walked between my open legs, then I grabbed his dick and put it between the lips of my pussy, again not going inside, just letting him rub his cock between my pussy lips. He started moving it up and down my slit, rubbing the head of his cock against my clit. He came before me and I felt his dick throbbing between my lips as he squirted his cum up onto my stomach and into the hair of my pussy. I reached down and started to finger myself, needing to come, and while I was rubbing I was also massaging his cum into my pussy. This got him so excited that he was hard again. I let him follow me upstairs to the shower and he got in behind me. He stood pressed up against the back wall, watching me wash my body. I saw that he was hard again, so I turned around and put my hands on the wall, bending at the waist and looked back with a smile on my face. My ass was under the shower, and water was streaming down my legs when I felt his dick clip between my ass cheeks. I reached back and pulled his cock between my legs and rubbed it against my soapy pussy again. He was so close to just slipping inside of me, but he didn't, he just rubbed his cock between the lips of my pussy. After I came, I stood back up and turned around to look at him. I asked him how he wanted to come and he said on my tits. I bent down and he started to stroke himself. I held my breast together with my hands, and he slipped his dick between my tits. I looked down and saw his cock thrusting in and out, the tip moving just inches away from my lips. When he came, I felt his hot semen squirting around my neck and trickling down onto my tits. The Thirteenth Entry I came down the stairs of the basement and he was sitting on one end of the sectional couch. I sat at the far end. Soon, we both had our pants off and he was jacking off while I was fingering myself through my panties. I was sitting back against the couch with my legs spread wide, knees bent, and my feet up on the ottoman. I got my panties wet and then slipped them off and threw them to him. He was smelling and licking them again, and then he suddenly threw them away and got up. He got down on all fours and crawled over, popped his head up between my legs, and started to tongue my wet pussy. He was lapping and sucking at me, rubbing his whole face between the lips of my pussy, his face was glistening with my juices. He was reaching up and feeling my tits through my shirt, and then he roughly pulled my shirt down to finger my nipples. Then he put his arms under me, pulling me closer into his mouth, and started to suck the lips of my cunt unto his mouth, one at a time. He must have felt that I was close, because he started to suck my clit and I started shaking from an explosive orgasm. After I came he sat up on his knees and before I could say anything, he shoved his fat cock between my pussy lips. He didn't go inside, he was just moving his dick up and down my slit. On the downward stroke, I could feel the head of his cock near my opening, but he never slipped inside. Than I reached down and gently pushed the tip inside and with one gentle stroke he was inside. He was thrusting slowly, and then I felt his lips kissing me. He started bucking hard and I opened my mouth to take his tongue in. Then he reached down and grabbed my hips as he was thrusting hard and fast into my cunt. He stopped and cried out, and then I felt his cum spurting deep inside me, and I came again too. The Last Entry It's been over two week since he was over, and I just found out from a neighbor that he moved out of his condo last week. He had once told me that he had wanted to move back to his home town so that his parents could help him raise his daughter. I guess he was finally able to do that. I'm glad that it ended the way it did - no muss, no fuss. I guess we both knew that it needed to end anyway, and the last thing I wanted was to have to discuss it with him. Yeah, I'm glad it ended the way it did. I'd like to keep the journal, at least for now, but I'm worried. There's no names, no dates, so specific details that tie it back to me, except for the fact that it's on my computer. Of course, it's very unlikely that anyone will ever find this file on my laptop, but I can't help but worry that my husband might find it. So, here's my idea. I found a site where people can submit erotic stories. I can post this there and I can access it whenever I want - and there's nothing to tie it back to me. If my husband catches me on the site, I can simply tell him I'm looking for material for my next story for him. That's not a bad idea anyway, I've browsed some of the stories and they're pretty good. Yeah, I think that's exactly what I'll do. Who knows, maybe I'll write a few other stories too. Maybe I have a knack for it?