0 comments/ 51574 views/ 0 favorites Swinger's New Ad By: Sparky Kronkite Hi all - Marcy and Paul here.... As any of you who've read our stories and checked out our Author Profile, under the nick-name Sparky Kronkite, here at Literotica knows - my husband and I write our stories together. And you would know that they are all based - to some larger degree - on reality. The reality of our own sexual adventures. Sure, our stories have been exaggerated a bit but for the most part, the basic elements within the stories are singularly steeped in truth. You would know too that we are Swingers, Lifestylers, Adult Erotic Adventurers - whatever term you might wish to use. We tend to simply think of our choice of lifestyle as, "mature adult, mutually respectful, sexual fun." But then again that is a mouthful, isn't it? Swinger's is an easy word. So, we have some ads running out there on a couple of the most popular Internet swing sights and to tell you the truth, for one reason or another (of which we remain clueless) we weren't getting much action. Ours was a typical ad, a few sentences about what we were looking for, with a heading something like many others, "NYCupL4U" or some such bullshit type of thing. As stated - zippo - not much action. And we must admit too, that we're highly selective, very picky. Not that we really think we're all that great or anything, it's just that comfort, being at ease with another couple, is really what anyone is looking for when they desire to hook-up with another couple for adult carnal fun. So, the few who did answer - well often they left a bit to be desired. Or, they lived too far away. Or, etc., etc.. You might ask what puts us at ease? What makes us comfortable? Well, what puts us at ease, what makes us most comfortable is - people like ourselves. If one has a good self-image, if one likes oneself (as all happy, well adjusted people should think of themselves) - then why wouldn't one be most comfortable with others - who happen to be like you? Why wouldn't one want to have sex, with essentially, themselves? But not themselves. Now this is not to say that we wish to bed partners exactly like ourselves, hell no. The key words in that last paragraph were (and we quote ourselves) - "a good self-image, as all happy, well adjusted people should think of themselves." That's all we desire - other things like skin color, upbringing, education and occupation "can and often do" play a part in who people are and what they have become but those factors do not wholly indicate exactly who and what people are like. And therefore we do not ignorantly prejudice ourselves in that way. But yes, we do have priorities in our desires for sexual partners - and the overriding priority is - a good, healthy, self-esteem. Everything else in the package is quite negotiable. We also felt that our initial did not provide enough details up front - believe us - a lot of time was wasted, eventually going nowhere, just finding out the details. So we decided to risk the old adage no-no of being too lengthy and putting in some details. And that's the very way we were thinking when we rewrote our ad. Here, for your interest is that ad.... It starts with a "LET'S GET THEIR ATTENTION" bunch of humorous bullshit - had to keep it short and sweet - here goes.... The ad.... PS - of course we don't use Marcy and Paul on our ads - security you know... WNTD - Twin, Afro-Am Albino studs for wife's ultimate fantasy DP!!! Just kidding folks! HEADLINE: Tom_Jill and tomjill2 rewrite "best ad ever." Now it's the "bestest ad ever." (Attention: We are rewriting our ad to provide the most specific and succinct information on who we are and what we want. Sorry it's a bit long, please attempt to enjoy. Please read thoroughly and carefully.) Item A - Photos and Other Basics - 1)Our digitally degraded photos are thus for obvious security reasons. Call us paranoid, but we have great jobs and don't want to take that risk. (We're jealous actually, would like to participate but can't go there - yet anyway.) 2)All replies to our add will be immediately (or ASAP) be responded to with a clear set of photos. Sorry, we don't initially solicit with our clear photos but promise to send ours when we get yours. 3)We provide to you "straight" photos only, again for security reasons. 4)We only need straight photos from you - it's the face and general body build, it's more the person, that we are interested in. (If you really want to send body parts, feel free but we are interested primarily in your face.) 5)We really need to see "the guy." Our female half of this partnership has full veto regarding these matters and for her "the guy" is the cornerstone of a successful fun time. Yes, ladies she does enjoy women but not when her husband doesn't do it for her/to her too. Again, guys - faces please. 6)We are not, not, not, not photo collectors - this we promise you this. 7)We vastly search, primarily for couples but are interested in sincere and special singles of either sex. Singles, you must be very, very special. 8)No cheaters please! We are not interested in the illicit swinging couple or straying, getting' it on the side single. 9)We believe strongly in "swing etiquette" - particularly, "no pressure to swing." And safe sex of course. Item B - This be we, this be us, this is our general description - 1)Committed, married couple. Mid-thirties, educated, professional, kinda white'ish but only in skin tone, not mentality. We're very, very (one more very) normal (with a capitol N) couple, that's in all outward appearances. When you see us - you'd think that we'd be normal folks. Yet, philosophically we're pretty adventurous. 2)We're only New Yorkers now, the past few years. We're mid-west/southerners, transferred here by the man. 3)We're Irish blooded and therefore - we look Irish - go figure. 4)We have fit/average builds, tall, light skinned and light haired. A few freckles. Hey we look real good, just not super hard bodied perfect. Again, regular people. 5)We like a slight alcohol buzz but never get sloppy. Wine, a little tequila, a cold beer - add naked bodies, good music, turn the lights down low, then add a hot tub - what-a-ya-got? Boom, sensual fireworks. 6)We don't smoke and prefer non-smokers but hey, if you're cool about it, it can work. 7)We simply like to have fun - all the normal stuff - dinner, dance, live music, theater, movies, sports. Hobbies? Reading, writing (we're both poets of sorts), guitar and bass, motorcycles. Item C - Logistics - 1)We have homes in Manhattan and Fairfax Virginia. We are mostly in Manhattan though. However, no matter where you live, you are invited to respond to our add. Who knows when one might be visiting NYC or DC and want to try to arrange for some special adult fun. 2)We both have large families and children. Playing in our home most often proves difficult. So, even though they leave much to be desired, "Lifestyle Clubs" are relatively easy for us. We would much prefer regular groups (large we would hope) meeting in someone's home. Others of course can and have worked out for us - so don't be tepid - we'll see. 3)We do have transportation. We mention that because many in Manhattan don't. 4)We are very busy folks with demanding jobs and family activities. We are very luck to schedule this kind of special, erotic activity a few times a year. Please, if you are interested in us or have compassion toward our "life situation" - please be patient with us. 5)All our computers, a very important side of both our professions, are tied to our corporate mainframe - even our home units. Hence our security concerns. So again, please be patient with us, we can only access certain files (our photos) from certain locations but "we will get back to you." We promise. Item D - Experience, ours and yours - 1)We are experienced, about 5 years now. But we are not "swing sluts." We couldn't be even if we wanted to be - too busy. We tend to prefer the same. Hard core, chain smoking, whisky breathed, gold chained, over tanned, pot bellied and hunch backed, over aged swingers who swing every other weekend, don't necessarily turn us on. Although on rare occasion, they just might. (Hey, it's a voyeuristic thing, yah know?) We've been to a few clubs up and down the East Coast, have had couples over a time or two and been to Hedo II. 2)First or second timers - unless they are very, very together (which we kind of doubt is possible) - are generally not preferred. It's simply nerve racking, and for both parties. Nobody needs that. All parties, all participants "need to want" to do this. Without relaxation there can be no fun. Item E - The Ice Breaker, a suggestion - 1)We own a Sybian Saddle, it's a very expensive (very expensive!$!) ultra-vibrator for the ladies. It's nearly guaranteed to produce multiple orgasms in most women - endlessly (until you switch it off or pull the plug) - it's really something. We would love to share it with you. 2)We do not sell or have anything to do with professionally promoting the Sybian Saddle. It's just fun. 3)Note: The Sybian Saddle can be a great ice breaker on a relatively cold first meeting. Even if things don't necessarily click between all parties present and physical contact between those parities is destined not to happed - there's still the Sybian to share. So all would not be wasted. And besides who knows what will happen during a Sybian demo ride. So, for the brave of heart, what have you got to loose - dare to ride the Syb. Item F - Our stories, written by both of us, are on - literotica.com - under the nickname - Sparky Kronkite - please check'em out.... You won't be disappointed. That's Our New Ad - find it at - http://www.sexyads.net That is all. Ask us anything. Tom_Jill or tomjill2. PS - when responding please remind us of you "handle." * * * * * That's the end or our ad - pretty wild huh? Well, what do you think? Let us know.... It's been working so far.... Details to follow in Part II... Later.... Sparky Kronkite aka Marcy and Paul Swinger's New Ad Ch. 2 Well, high all - once again. Marcy and Paul here. Our last, re-written swinger's ad has been running a month or so now and with pretty good results. There have been a few groans of being too long and a few regarding it being to "regimented" you know numbered and all. Maybe we'll change it again but first let us tell you about what happened because of the ad. One couple who contacted us sounded really cool. We'll call them LI and R's, that was their nick name on the swinger's Website that we posted the new ad on. That's for Long Islander's in case you might not get it - but we know you do. Anyway they happened to be fairly close and both work in Manhattan. They were experienced and wanted to get together. Weeknights are best for us so we decided to meet at one of the swing clubs - Le Trapeze - on a Wednesday night. Arrangements were made, that Wednesday night came to be and here's what happened. The Long Islander's turned out to be Judy, a beautiful third generation, US born and educated, Chinese American woman of thirty. A fantasy-like Chinese beauty - long silky dark hair, slim firm body and a beautiful face. Her husband Jimmy was of Italian decent, he was dark too, thick but trimmed hair on his broad chest, rather tall, nice build but no body builder. He had thick black hair in a slicked back but not too greasy sort of way. We met them for drinks at a local bar near Trapeze. We had a few shots (I really like that, helps get me going.) and a couple of beers before heading for the club. The conversation was good - a highly compatible couple - we were counting on a very good time. Both Judy and Jimmy were turning me on well before we left for the club. Paul was right there with me, as usual. I could tell by the bulge in his pants - he was as ready and willing as I was. To make a kind of long story short - the four of us had a couple of more drinks before we decided to disrobe and - you know - probe. Hah! "Disrobe and probe," I never cease to amaze myself. Oh anyway... I was standing at the bar, Jimmy behind me, his very nice, fat, semi-hard cock occasionally whapping into my ass. Paul was talking dirty, whispering into Judy's ear and fondling her small but very nice tits. I reached behind and started stroking Jimmy's dick. It immediately became hard as a rock. I saw too that Paul had achieved full mast and Judy was stroking his member when we all just kind of looked at each other and damn near chimed simultaneously - "let's go find someplace private." At Le Trapeze, typical of some larger swing clubs, they have private rooms or booths really. They're about as big as a queen sized bed. We found one and clambered into it - asses in the air. Judy immediately dove onto Paul - kissing him deeply, I could see their tongues meshing in a liquid lurid dance. Jimmy on the other hand bowed his head and began to kiss my neck. I'm sure he couldn't have known but that - neck nibbling - just makes my toes curl and my pussy humm. I grabbed his think dark hair and held his head in place with one have and reached for his beautiful Italian cock with the other. I saw Paul fingering Judy with two fingers. They were very wet and she was moaning through their slick kiss. Jimmy bent me in a way that at first confused me, kissing me down my rib cage and spinning me around. Finally he was kissing my back side - lower... lower... still lower onto my as cheeks... then even lower. When Jimmy's tongue hit the crack of my ass and then my tight little bunghole - I just about died and went to heaven. I could feel his rough razor stubble on the side of my now saliva wet crack as his tongue probed deeper and deeper into my ass. "Oh my God!" I moaned with a sly smile. I had to let go of Jimmy's prick as he serviced my ass with his mouth. And through delirious, slitted-eyes I watched as my handsome husband moved up to fuck the classically beautiful Asian face of Judy, her tongue and lips now working wonderfully over his huge pink dick-head and then over and onto his veined shaft. Slide... slide...back... forth. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to be fucked and I wanted Jimmy to be the fucker and me to be the fuckee. I told his so. Hell, I ordered him to fuck me. Let me tell you - he didn't protest. So, I was wet as hell. Between Jimmy's voracious tonguing and my own wetness - all Jimmy had to do was get into position and glide right on in - with one easy movement. "Uhhhhh!!! Fuck!!! Fuck me good Jimmy!" I stammered through clenched teeth. I heard grunting and moaning next to me - I rolled my head to that side. Judy was on top of Paul, her knees up to her breasts, her feet on the mattress, her hands on Paul's shoulders. She was literally floating, riding Paul's cock. How wet it was... the sounds... the moaning... Judy whispering, "that's it Paul, deeper Paul, how is that Paul? You like that? You like me to fuck you this way, don't you Paul?" All Paul could mutter was a groaning "yes baby, keep doing that, keep on going just like that." I was beginning to cum and I knew it would be big. In fact we were all starting to go over the top. Judy's pace quacked on top of Paul as he thrust upward to meet her. Jimmy was slamming into me - full force. His super fat dick splitting me apart and exposing my clit to his dark haired pubis. "Oh fucking God! I'm cumming... I... I... I'm cumming!!!" I felt the flood in my pussy give wave a bathe Jimmy's cock - which in turn gave me the further satisfaction of spurting load... after load... after load into my hot cunt. I nearly passed out. But I did catch the show next door. Paul, watching Jimmy and I, could not hold onto his load under the magical pelvic ministrations of his Asian mistress (for the moment) Judy. As he bucked upward. Beginning to cum - Judy hoped off Paul's dick, swinging her right leg over and away - she quickly lowered her head and speared Paul's prick into her mouth before his first spurt of cum. She stroked his dick with her left hand... pumping it for cum... her right hand wend to her cunt where she rammed three fingers into herself and bucked in a huge... gulping... moaning orgasm. She never let a drop of Paul's cum be seen - she swallowed it all. Wow!!! We all collapsed. We giggled. We relaxed. We eventually gave each other sweat good night kisses, made tentative plans to do it again sometime and were out, heading for home in the clear night air. Smiles on our faces. Paul and I even made it home before midnight sending the baby sitter home - all was well. But you know - the ad still wasn't working as well as we figured it should work - so the next few days or so, we rewrote it once again. Next time - yet again, another new ad. 'Til then - Marcy and Paul. Swingers New Ad Ch. 3 Marcy and Paul here again - we told you that we we're going to update our ad yet again and as promised - here it is. We decided to do this once again because we continued to feel that we weren't getting enough action (hey, we're very horney folks) and besides the last one got a few complaints of being a little to cold. So, we decided to keep the main headline and chance the rest - here it is. WNTD - Twin, Afro-Am Albino studs for wife's ultimate fantasy DP!!! Just kidding folks! HEADLINE: Tom_Jill and tomjill2 rewrite "best ad ever." Now it's the "bestest ad ever." (Attention: We are rewriting our ad to provide the most specific and succinct information on who we are and what we want. Sorry it's a bit long, please attempt to enjoy. Please read thoroughly and carefully.) Just Kidding!!! But if you're out there.....please, get in touch. Seriously - We are a mid-Atlantic, East coast, southernish couple now in NYC. Adult fun here is not quite like we knew back home. There we belonged to a large adult club, hot tub, 30 couples, dance floor/DJ, etc., but the drive back is getting to us. So, we're looking (and futilely for some time) for the right folks to hook up with in or around Manhattan. We're youngish (but not too young) mid-30's professionals, who need to be very, very discreet. Were looking for the same - go figure. We could be described as light skinned Irish/all-American type folks, tall and very attractive, who steer toward the sameish type but we're open to all who we feel on relative par with. Looks - (she "must have" the stud-like male or it's no go, that's part of the deal, not huge muscles, just good looking) and of course, personality are important. So - in a nutshell - all you guys out there that are too thin, not even remotely physically fit, balding, be-wigged, too bushy bearded, too old, too young, beer-bellied, droopy assed, short, chain smoking, just wanna fuck and go, think you can get an easy piece of ass this way type of dudes and just do this to get your jollies whackin' off in the sink and hope to get lucky - well think again. We don't care if your the owner of a monster dick, your tongue is the 9th wonder of the world and your lady - if you have one - looks like Marilyn Monroe and has orgasms riding the city bus - you won't have a chance with my very selective wife. We're not being elitist here, it's simply the concept of the connoisseur over gluttony. Would you ride a bad roller coaster? Eat a lousy steak? Sorry but that's just the way it is. Also of note to all you couples out there: We have a very sophisticated and very expensive sex toy to share, demo and have fun with - a "Sybian Saddle" (run a net search under that brand name for info - ladies it's the ultimate, no kidding!). We can set this up as a straight demo type of thing, doesn't have to be any "real sex." We'd just get a kick out of turning some women/couples on to it. It'll blow you mind! Guaranteed! But hey, sorry folks, we're not into anything too unusual, no whips, no pain, no humiliation, (although we could be interested in the voyeuristic aspects of these scenes if not too harsh) - we're just into good looking naked bodies, fun people, into sharing each other in a safe and very sexually hot and very private way. Safe too (we'll mention again) - let's not forget. As you can tell we're primarily looking for couples but as indicated above, very very selective - good looking males, and this is important too - who are not encumbered by a partner who doesn't partake (no errant/immoral wanderers) may be considered for a threesome. Single unattached women are welcome too. We don't want to cause any relationship problems - have some gun toting momma/daddy-O showing up at our door, spittin' verbal venom and firing rounds into the walls or who knows what else? It'll wake the neighbors. Not cool. So, maybe it's you, maybe you are the one or two or three. More? Please, let us know. Hope to hear from you. Real folks only please. PS - We're tired of all the "cute" handles from the "over abundance of single guys" we get responding to this profile. Stud4U, BiGnuts, LicU4evr, 8inU - you know, crap like that. We respect our extracurricular, off the beaten (straight laced) path choices in our "erotic fun" but we also take the philosophy of this decision and lifestyle fairly seriously. It's really hard for intelligent people (like us, brag) - (At least I hope we are?) to get into the juvenile frivolity it takes to create a handle like that. Some of you guys are selling yourselves short with handles like that. Please be real with us and we'll be real with you. We do have a clean unaltered pic, and will send it if you first send us an honest, intelligent written response, then you could send a pic if you so choose. Only then will we respond with a clean pic. No foolin'. Preliminary meeting will of course be a must if all goes well in the world of the net. Hope to hear from you. Erotic Adventurers are we all. Or you should be. PS2 - Sorry about any misspelling. PS3 - We don't purport to be any PC/internet/computer whizzes either so have mercy on us. A smart, working, professional (couple, single or group) with a lot on the ball, in business and in their social life - (this of course to help to insure stability, credibility and discretion) - reasonable attractiveness is a must, as is a cool, calm and non-pushy, non-obsessive bedroom demeanor. We drink wine and beer, don't smoke, love live music and night life in general. Of course, we'd get along with the same, but we're very open minded. Of course experience in these matters, ultra-good looking and well equipped (men in particular) couples and groups are what we'd be most interested in. My wife loves stud muffin men. That's it - Well, this ad really got some hot action and the next few stories will be all the juicy details regarding our adventures. Later, Marcy and Paul