82 comments/ 127608 views/ 32 favorites Sometimes Love is Not Enough By: Night Scribe Gentle reader: This story contains coercion, cheating, divorce, and an attempt to rebuild a relationship. This story has been submitted in its entirety. Thank you. NS * It had been a good neighborhood party, so far. I was sitting at a heavy patio table talking with Adam, our host this Friday evening. Brent was quietly listening and staying completely out of our argument. We were currently discussing the finer points of bass fishing. My preference for a plastic worm or a Lazy Ike was being strongly disputed by Adam. He much preferred a Shyster for deep water or a Jitterbug for top water. "Look, Jim, the bug floats and that means it doesn't get caught up in the weeds and moss just under the surface. The Shyster gets down there quick in deeper water and the flash from the whirly-gig attracts poppa bass like you wouldn't believe." "Well, you might be right, Adam. Tell you what, I'll give 'em a try my next time out. If it works like you say; I'll have you and Abby over for a fish fry. How's that?" He nodded in agreement and went into the house to use the bathroom. The argument, though friendly, was pointless. It was easier for me to just agree with him than try to convince him that I had learned to fish from my Grandfather. It was good enough for Granddad, and that was good enough for me. I started looking around for Janice, my wife of five years. There was a small group further out on the patio and it looked like she was dancing with Carl. Adam's wife, Abby was there but I didn't see Beth, Brent's wife. There were three or four others missing but they were probably downstairs in the game room. The music switched to a slow number and Carl took Janice in his arms to dance up close and personal, but she excused herself and came over to sit with me. "All wore out from dancing?" "No, I just didn't think you would like for me to dance as close to him as he likes." "That bad, huh?" "Worse. He keeps his lower half up tight against my tummy and likes to keep both hands on my behind. I love dancing that way with you but I just don't feel comfortable dancing that way with him. Come on, dance with me. I feel like being stimulated tonight." She grabbed my hand and led me to the dance area. We managed to undulate through four slow songs and then returned to the table. I guess I did a good job of stimulating her because her deep brown eyes had that 'Take me home and make love to me.' look. Adam wasn't back yet so we made our excuses to Abby, and left. Home was just a short walk away and when I unlocked the door, she started taking her clothes off. She left a trail of discarded items all of the way to the foot of the bed. We did just what her eyes suggested. We made love for three hours. Slow, sensuous love. Touching, exploring, whispering endearments. Each of us was doing everything possible to please the other. I have no idea of how many times she called on the Deity of orgasmic bliss but I offered a short prayer of thanks, twice. * * * * * I woke up to a beautiful sight the next morning. Her head was on my shoulder and my chest was completely covered with shiny raven-black hair. The room was still permeated with the aroma of last night's activities. She was lying there, all funky looking, parts of her still coated with the remnants of our lovemaking. To me, she was absolutely, unequivocally beautiful. My thoughts were rudely interrupted by the cutting sound of the phone. The damn thing sounded like a cricket on steroids. I managed to get it off its cradle on the third chirp and mumbled, "Hello?" I couldn't hear a thing. No one answered me back. Thinking it must have been a wrong number; I started to hang it up when I noticed I was holding it backwards. I had been speaking into the end that was supposed to be at my ear. I reversed the damn thing and tried again. "Hello?" "Hey, Jim, this is Adam. How's it going this morning?" "Not too bad, I guess. I'll know more when I'm fully awake. What cha need, Adam?" "I just called the marina and the manager said the bass are so hungry that they're jumping into the boat to get at the lures. How about I pick you up in a little bit and we give it a try? You can give me lessons on how to fish with a Lazy Ike, and then I'm gonna stomp all over you with my Shysters." "Okay." I laughed. "Better make it at least an hour though. It'll take me that long to make coffee and get my stuff ready." "Great! See you in an hour." The distinct click in my left ear told me the conversation was over. I needed to get up and get busy if I was going to be ready when he got here. The soft tongue caressing my right ear was sending an entirely different message. Janice was awake and she obviously had her own ideas about how this Saturday morning should be spent. I almost reached for the phone to cancel the fishing trip but was stopped by the invasion of a tongue in my mouth. I thought I was completely worn out from our antics last night, but her hand sliding down my body and grasping the excitement between my legs gave the lie to that thought. The tongue went away as the covers were hurled off to the side. She straddled my hips, raised herself slightly, positioned my very hard member at her opening just so, and then slowly slid down the entire length. She must have been having a wonderful dream because she was dripping wet. She would occasionally wake up like this and it was something I looked forward to. I knew I was in for a ride, and a wild ride it would be. All I had to do was lay there and enjoy. She started by slowly undulating and rolling her hips. These early morning sessions were the only times she didn't give any thought or consideration to my wants, needs, or pleasure. She was riding strictly for herself. She remained sitting straight up, head slightly back, eyes closed, lips parted, and her fingers gently teasing the nipples of her breasts. I loved it when we made love like this, although lust might be a better term to use. I didn't think she would maintain this slow pace for long, and I was right. Her movements slightly increased in speed and the dreamlike expression changed to one of deep concentration. Her eyes snapped open, staring up at the ceiling. She starting mauling her tits and her hips sped up. I was barely able to match her movements. She began her prayers to the Deity of orgasmic bliss, begging for his blessings of release and fulfillment. He must have been in a charitable mood this morning because her prayers were answered immediately. Her hips slammed down tight and she went off into a world of her own. Her internal muscles were quivering and drawing me as deeply as possible into her. I wasn't quite ready yet and that was a good thing because I knew the ride had only began. Her reaction was opposite of what most people would think. Instead of relaxing after such an intense release, she increased her efforts ten-fold. Her hands slammed palm down on the middle of my chest. I reached up and grabbed her by her shoulders. She gritted her teeth, her mouth twisted into an ugly snarl, and her eyes were wide open, staring intently into mine. Her hips went into overdrive and there was no way I could possibly keep up with her now. I elevated my hips as much as I could and hung on to her shoulders for dear life. Her hunches and undulations were so rapid that all a camera would show would be a rapid blur of movement. Her language changed. The ears of the Deity she so lovingly prayed to a few minutes ago had to be going up in flames. The world narrowed and closed in, focusing on just her. She had now engaged the afterburners on her hips and they went supersonic. All I could do was try to hang on and prey to her Deity for a safe landing. Her eyes crossed and then rolled up into the top of her head. Her arms collapsed and I drew her to me, hugging her tight to my chest. Her legs straightened and came to rest on the inside of mine. I hooked my heels over her ankles and held tightly as convulsions rippled up and down her body. My own afterburners kicked in and with a few rapid thrusts I exploded deep within her, starting a new wave of uncontrolled contractions. We went limp at the same time, neither of us able to move. Both of us were drenched with sweat and gasping for air. The almighty Deity of love and lust had blessed, and almost killed us again. I looked up at the ceiling and offered a prayer of thanks. A glance at the clock revealed that my hour of preparation had diminished to twenty minutes. I jumped from the bed and dashed to the shower .... Strike that. I slid out from under Janice, struggled to an almost upright position and staggered to the shower, banging into the doorframe only once. The shower was short and it only took a couple of minutes to climb into my fishing grubs. Somehow, Janice had made it to the kitchen and had a cup of instant coffee ready for me. I found my fish pole and tackle box in the garage and was walking toward the end of the drive when Adam and Brent stopped in front of the house. Janice came running down the drive and handed me a small cooler with a six-pack of Coke and a blue ice can cooler inside. She added a quick kiss to my cheek and we were off to the lake. Chapter 02 I generally like to give praise when praise is due. Adam had a first class bass boat. There was more than ample room for the three of us. He was up at the nose where he could run the small trolling motor. Brent was on a post seat by the console and I was on the rear deck. We had been fishing for over three hours and so far, Adam had two keepers, Brent was still trying to figure it out, and I had five keepers. It was obvious to me that Brent wasn't a fisherman. He was a likeable guy and he was a lot of fun to be around, he just didn't have a clue about how to catch a fish. We had talked about almost everything three guys could think of, except women and sex. That subject had come up about ten minutes ago. Adam made a long cast and, intently watching where his lure had splashed down, asked, "So, Jim, ever thought of adding a little variety to your love-life?" That was a loaded question if I ever heard one. Should I be honest or should I lie to him? Not wanting to lie, and then have to make up another lie to cover up for the first one, I decided to tell the truth. "Yes, I have." "Really? How does your wife feel about that?" "I don't know. We've never discussed it." Adam was still looking at the spot where his lure had splashed but he wasn't turning the crank on his reel. Brent was carefully looking at the knot he was trying to tie but his hands weren't moving. His head was tilted slightly as if listening intently. Adam's next question just about knocked me off my seat. "Why don't you talk to her about it? You know, find out if she would go along with it." Whoa, stop! This conversation was going in a direction I didn't like. It was getting way too personal. I wasn't sure exactly what was up. We were kind of new to this neighborhood and I did want to get along with these guys. It was time for me to ask a question. "Tell me, Adam, just exactly what is it you're leading up to?" "Well, a few of us get together a couple of Saturdays a month and have what you might call an "X" rated party. We swim nude, play strip poker, and sometime during the evening the women draw straws or something to see who sleeps with whom for the night. Brent and I were thinking that you and Janice might like to join our little group." Well, there it was. I now realized I had been woken up early and dragged out here to the lake for the sole purpose of having this little conversation. It sure wasn't because the fish were biting. Seven fish in three hours? Right. The only fishing going on here was for something that I didn't think I wanted any part of. It was time to be firm, but tactful. "Thanks for the offer, guys, but Janice and I aren't interested." "But you just said that you've thought about it." "I know, Adam, but let me explain. There have been times when I have seen a beautiful woman walk by and wondered what she would be like, but that's human nature. I would never act on that thought. You're sitting in this boat with a husband that's one hundred percent faithful to his wife." Adam just couldn't let it go at that. He had to push one more time. "But, Jim, if both partners agree to that kind of an arrangement, then being faithful, or unfaithful, has nothing to do with it." "Look, guys, I'm not sure I could stand the thought of Janice sleeping with some other man. As for me sleeping with some other woman, that would break her heart. I love her too much to do that to her." The discussion of that subject was over. Adam started reeling in his lure and Brent finished tying his knot. Brent said something about how hot it was getting and that pretty well ended our fishing trip. They dropped me off at my drive about two in the afternoon. Janice's car was in the garage but she wasn't home. A note on the fridge informed me that she was shopping with a couple of the girls. Chapter 03 Janice didn't get home until after six. She gave me a peck on the cheek and went straight to the kitchen, telling me that supper would be ready in about an hour. She evidently found the pan of fish I had brought home and cleaned so I wasn't surprised that the meal was fish and fried potatoes. I was surprised at how quiet and thoughtful looking she was. Normally, I would be forced to re-live her shopping trip, in all its glorious details. Then I remembered she hadn't brought home a single package. This was highly unusual, to say the least. She was either sick, or had something on her mind that she didn't want to talk about. I retreated to my home office/den after supper. I was a structural design engineer, a construction coordinator, and very good at my job. The room had been designed as a large family room but since we didn't have a family, I had converted it to a workroom. I had a normal sized writing desk and the latest model computer sitting beside it against one wall, and a very large worktable against the other wall. The computer on the worktable was custom designed for my work. Janice and I shared the computer by the writing desk. She didn't pay any attention to the one on the worktable because the programs on it weren't any good for e-mail or surfing the Internet. I finally closed down a CAD program and went to the bedroom. Janice was already there. She was laying on her back, hands behind her head, staring at the ceiling. I knew she had something on her mind but I wasn't sure what. As an icebreaker, I asked what I thought was a neutral question. "Who were you shopping with today?" "Abby and Beth called not too long after you left and I spent the day with them." That didn't sound good. Could they have had the same conversation with Janice that I had with their husbands today? "I noticed you didn't bring any packages home with you. You must not have done much shopping." "We didn't. We spent most of the day just talking. Honey, I kinda agreed to something without checking with you first." No, she wouldn't do that, would she? She surely didn't agree to join the sex parties. Damn, I didn't like the sound of that, at all. How could she possibly agree to something like that? "Sis called right after you left. Her husband kicked her out and she doesn't have any place to stay. I told her she could stay with us until she finds a place of her own. We are to pick her up at the bus depot tomorrow morning. I'm sorry, honey, she's my sister. I just couldn't turn her down." Well, that was a relief. Maybe I should find out what she's talking about and not be jumping to any conclusions. Her sister, Sue, would be an inconvenience but I could live with it. "So, how long is she going to stay this time?" I thought that was a fair question. She was with us for over three months when her first husband kicked her out. I never did hear why they got a divorce. Now that husband number two had given her the boot, I was beginning to think maybe some people just weren't meant to be married. "I don't know how long she'll be here. She was crying and I couldn't get any details from her. You're not mad, are you?" "No, of course not. I'm just thinking she'll kind of put a crimp in our nightly antics is all. I wouldn't want to embarrass her." "You mean you don't want to be embarrassed. Don't worry, I'll put her in the far bedroom upstairs. She won't overhear too much up there." It sounded like she had given things a little thought but what I was really thinking about was our sex-play during breakfast. I was also thinking about the fun we often had when I came home for the noon meal. We took extra long lunch breaks every Tuesday and Thursday. We would rush home, she would hike her skirt or dress up around her waist, pull the crotch of her panties aside, and I would dive in tongue first. She would somehow manage to get me unzipped, my cock out, and start swallowing me. This would last for about five minutes and then she would either ride me or bend over a piece of furniture and we would fuck like bunnies. We would both return to work wet and well fucked. With Sue here, our sex life would definitely suffer. Hopefully, she wouldn't be here for three months this time. She was evidently thinking along the same lines as me because she smiled and said, "Don't worry, honey, I'll rent us a room at that fancy hotel next to the convention center. I'm sure I can negotiate a monthly rate with them." "Sounds like a plan to me. Now then, tell me about your day with Abby and Beth." "Well, they did have a lot to talk about. They told me Adam and Brent were going to talk to you about the same thing. It seems they belong to a swing club and they were wondering if we would be interested in joining them. What did the boys have to say?" "They told me that everyone swam nude, played games and then the girls would have a drawing of some kind to see who their sleeping partner would be for the night. I basically told them I couldn't stand the thought of you sleeping with someone else and I wouldn't do it because I didn't want to break your heart." "Oh, honey, that's so sweet. Thank you. Is that all they told you? The girls told me a lot more than that." "That's all that was said. They changed the subject when I told them how I felt. Tell me everything the girls told you." "Oh, they went into a lot of detail. Sometimes they have a poker night. Everyone starts with the same number of clothes on. When you've run out of clothes, then you have to start doing forfeits. On swim night, you draw for your partner and then each couple jumps in and the couple that undresses each other in the fastest time wins some kind of a special treat from the losers. Abby said that the last time she won, she made five guys please her at the same time. She said that the last time Adam was a winner, he had several of the women pleasing him at the same time. They have all kinds of contests to see who can fuck the longest before the man comes. Sometimes the girls see which one can make her partner come the quickest. It sounds like they have a lot of fun at it. Beth told me that they even have a little girl-on-girl action once in a while. Can you believe that?" "Yeah, I can believe that. It's just a life-style I've never considered. Tell me, Janice, have I misread you? Is this something you want to do? You seem to be kinda enthused about it." I didn't get an immediate response. She started staring at the ceiling again, as if in deep thought. I had lain down beside her and was also staring at the ceiling. I rolled to my right and raised up on my elbow looking at her inquisitively. She shifted her gaze to me, started to speak, hesitated for a few more seconds and then asked, "How would you feel about sharing me with other men?" Sometimes Love is Not Enough, Redux Gentle Reader: Thank you for reading "Sometimes Love is Not Enough", the first submission of this story. Your comments and votes were appreciated. I felt it was only fair that Janice be able to tell her side of the story. As you know, the first part of this story is in first person, his point of view. This part of the story is in first person, her point of view. I intended to post this within a month of the first one but due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to. For this, I apologize. I have included some of the conversation from the first version so this one can stand on its own. However, you might enjoy her story more if you read and understand his point of view first. Thank you, Techsan, for your editing and suggestions. N.S. * Chapter 01 I really enjoyed these Friday evening parties that Adam and Abby held almost every week. They partied on Saturday evenings too but for some reason, we had never been invited to them. It was probably with some of Abby's friends from where she worked and they didn't want to be bothered by anyone outside their group. Jim was leaning back in a chair at the patio table with Brent, and Adam was waving his hands in an effort to prove some point he was making. Brent appeared to be listening intently and Jim was sitting there just as unperturbed as could be. I wouldn't even have to go over there to know what they were talking about. It was always the same discussion, fishing. The best day to go, the best time of day, which type of pole and what kind of line were favorite topics. Of course there were also open or closed face reels, level wind casting reels, and the thing they most disagreed on, lures. I was drifting in a world all to myself. The moon light reflecting off the ripples in the swimming pool, the warm southerly breeze, the music and the dancing all added up to the perfect evening. It wasn't perfect though because I wasn't dancing with my husband. Carl was the man out here on the dance floor with me. It wasn't that Jim couldn't dance to the fast numbers, he was quite good at it actually. To put it in his words, "I'm sorry, Janice, I just don't want to act like a fool in front of people." That was so typical of him. I have never met a man so 'in control' of his actions and emotions as Jim. He always seemed to have fun at these parties but he wouldn't have over two drinks. I asked him about it before we were married and he said that if he had more than that, he would lose control and do stupid things. Then he would be violently sick the next morning. I've often wondered what he would be like with one or two drinks too many in him. Someday, maybe I could break through that reserved demeanor of his and find out. The only exception was when we were by ourselves, at home. Then he could be a real caveman when it came to sex. There wasn't a room or a piece of furniture anywhere in the house that we hadn't done the nasty in or on. Damn, my panties were getting wet just thinking about him. A slow song came on and Carl pulled me in close, too close. I liked Carl but I didn't like him that much. I wasn't about to let him grope my ass and rub himself up against me. "I'm sorry, Carl, I need to take a break for a little bit. Maybe later, okay?" I made a beeline for the table, a drink and my husband. Jim looked up and smiled as I approached. "All wore out from dancing?" "No, I just didn't think you would like for me to dance as close to him as he likes." "That bad, huh?" "Worse. He keeps his lower half up tight against my tummy and likes to keep both hands on my behind. I love dancing that way with you but I just don't feel comfortable dancing that way with him. Come on, dance with me. I feel like being stimulated tonight." Stimulate me, he did. His hands were right where they belonged and I could feel the little guy who lives below his belt starting to wake up and take notice of what was happening. Now, the evening was perfect. I was in the arms of the only man who has ever heard me say, "I love you." All we did was stand in one place and sway back and forth. This lasted for three or four numbers and then he tipped my lips up to his and gave me a toe-curling kiss. That meant the party was over. We said goodbye to Abby and walked home, hand-in-hand. I started peeling my clothes off as soon as I walked through the door. Sandals, dress, half-slip, bra and panties led him straight to the foot of our bed. I turned around and he was right behind me, just as naked as I was. He sat me on the edge of the bed, placed my legs on his shoulders and dove tongue first into my very wet pussy. I immediately started praying to "The Deity of Love and Lust", as he liked to tease. The first explosion of orgasmic bliss came in less than a minute, followed by a second explosion before the first one was complete. I scooted to the center of the bed, pulling him with me, spreading my legs wide. He slowly entered me as I wrapped my arms and legs tightly around him. We lay perfectly still for the longest time, exchanging gentle kisses and whispering our love for one another. I have no idea how long we made love or how many prayers I said before we finally drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. * * * * * The next morning, I awoke to the sound of the phone. The darn thing was louder than our alarm clock. My head was on his shoulder and my right leg was flopped over his lower half. I still had that warm fuzzy feeling between my legs and I wasn't about to let it go to waste. I didn't know who he was trying to talk to or what plans they were making but I did know what I needed. I started nibbling on his ear, the one not occupied by the phone. He hung up and started to say something when I covered his mouth with mine and reached between his legs to check his reaction. It couldn't be better. The phone had disturbed my wonderful dream of us dancing in the moonlight and I was soaked between my legs. I straddled his hips and slowly buried his beautiful cock deep into me. I wanted to go slow but it wasn't to be. As usual, on mornings when I woke up like this, I soon started speeding up. My orgasm swept over me, spurring my hips faster and faster. I placed my hands on the center of his chest and he grabbed my shoulders, supporting me in my wild gyrations. With my hips driving down on him like a jackhammer, I felt a wild storm building deep within me. Thunder crashed and lightning ripped. The room started spinning, colors flashed before my eyes, and the next thing I knew I was stretched out on top of him. He gave a few fast hunches and I felt him explode deep within me, accelerating my aftershocks into another blissful trip to heaven. He crawled out from underneath me and stumbled toward the bathroom saying something about Adam picking him up in a few minutes to go fishing as he bounced off the doorway. I couldn't help myself, I giggled. Tugging a pair of shorts on, I grabbed a shirt and was still trying to get it buttoned as I hurried into the kitchen. It only took a minute to fix a couple of cups of instant coffee before I started looking for the small cooler. He came in, gulped his coffee and went to the garage. I heard the garage door go up and chased after him, catching him climbing into Adam's truck at the end of the drive. I handed him the cooler with drinks inside, gave him a kiss and watched as they drove off. I lowered the door as I went through the garage and went straight back to the bedroom. I flopped down on the bed and relished my feelings of bliss. I loved Jim more than words could describe. The day I met him was the day my life changed, forever. I didn't want to think of life before Jim. I didn't even have a life before he came into my world, just an existence. Chapter 02 We met at, of all places, the produce section of a super market. He was hefting cantaloupes, trying to decide which one to buy and I smashed into his cart as I hurried around the end of an isle. My heel turned and down I went. It was so embarrassing, lying flat on my back, looking up at the shocked face of a very handsome man. My skirt was rather short that day and I'm sure he got an eye-full of the black bikini panties that barely covered my essentials. Watching him rally to the situation and try to deal with it struck my funny bone and I started giggling. His internal struggle of trying to look at my face instead of what was so blatantly displayed down below sent me into peals of laughter. Rising to the challenge, he managed to compose himself and help me to my feet. My skirt, being somewhat tight, stayed bunched around my hips and his face turned beet-red as I adjusted it. He started apologizing at the same time I started apologizing and the next thing I knew, he had my name, phone number, address, and I had a dinner date for next Saturday evening. He walked me to my car and as I drove away, it was the first time in my life I had ever felt that warm fuzzy tingly sensation between my legs. It traveled up my spine, detoured directly to two very hard nipples, then raced on up to the nape of my neck as chills tickled me and goose bumps covered my arms. Conflict raged within me the next day at work and I managed to get absolutely nothing accomplished. I couldn't even remember his last name and had to look at the business card he gave me. No man, or woman, had ever affected me this way before. Trying to concentrate on the layout for the bank's new newspaper ad that was spread out on my desk proved to be impossible. I kept drifting off to la-la land, daydreaming about him and what might be. I was at a complete loss as to what to do or how to act. Thoughts of this new man who literally crashed into my life constantly occupied my mind. Was there really such a thing as love at first sight? If so, is that what happened to me? The only thing I knew for certain was that the old me had ceased to exist and a new me emerged. Up until that moment in my life, people were to be tolerated, endured, used and discarded when they had nothing left to offer. Oh, they always got what they wanted, but I always got what I wanted, too. Eeerrrkkk! The phone, returning me to the present, was a rude interruption to my reminiscing of how Jim and I met. "Hello?" "Janice? Is that you?" I recognized the voice of my older sister immediately. "Hi, Sue. How are you this morning?" "Oh, Janice, Steve and I had a terrible argument last night and I had to leave. I'm at a friend's house right now but I can't stay here. Can I come stay with you for a while?" "Of course you can. You know you're always welcome in our home. How will you get here?" "There's a bus that leaves at noon and I should be at the depot about eight tomorrow morning." "Okay, Sue, see you when you get here. Love you. Bye." "Love you too. Bye." Well, this certainly wasn't any big surprise. Trouble had been brewing in their marriage for some time. Between his drinking and her nagging, it was a union definitely not made in heaven. It's a wonder it lasted this long. I'd been telling her for months that they needed to see a marriage counselor. She was ten years older than me and the lucky one. She managed to leave home before our father became physically abusive. He was an overbearing son-of-a-bitch and the day he put our mother in the hospital and blackened both of my eyes was when Mom finally called the marriage quits and divorced him. I was only twelve at the time and couldn't really understand why Daddy didn't love us anymore. I found out several years later about his drinking and chasing every skirt in town. Sis first married a man about like Dad. I guess he treated her okay but he couldn't keep his pants zipped. She caught him out with different women several times and he finally told her he wasn't going to change. She had the choice of joining him or moving out. Going with him to a bar or a nightclub and hooking up with some strange man and knowing her husband was doing the same thing with a strange woman was a lifestyle she refused to live. She remembered watching her parents live like that when she was a child and it had destroyed their marriage. Rather than move out, Sis moved him out and there was a quick divorce. The man she's married to now treats her nice but he can't hold a job. He's called in sick due to drinking binges and hangovers too often and employers wouldn't put up with that nonsense. Sue started riding his ass about a year ago and I guess things came to a head last night. I was sure I would hear all about it tomorrow. Stretching and basking in the afterglow of post orgasmic bliss, I started thinking of Jim again. Our first date was a walk on cloud nine for me. He arrived promptly at seven. I just stood in the doorway and stared at the total package. The dark blue suit was obviously custom tailored. The strong, freshly shaved jaw conveyed a certain ruggedness. But the eyes, yes, those deep blue eyes spoke of intelligence and...and something more. A hint of confusion crossed his features and he hesitantly asked, "You did say seven, didn't you?" So far, my voice had refused to work. Something else was sure working though; working all too well. I could feel the heat radiating from between my thighs and my panties were already passed moist, well on their way to dripping wet. What was the matter with me? Come on, voice, work! "I-I'm sorry. You're here. You're on time and you're here. C-come in, please. I'll just be a minute," I stammered, as I beat a hasty retreat to my bedroom. Get a grip, girl. Breathe! Come on, air in—air out. Something was definitely wrong with me. My body had never reacted this way before. Sure, I'd had more than my share of sex partners and had even managed to enjoy it occasionally. But damn! This reaction was so strange to me. Is this what a teen-aged girl felt like on her first date? I wouldn't know. I had gone straight from a troubled childhood to a perverted adulthood. No! Don't think of that. Not now, not ever. That's in the past. I swear and promise, I'll never think of that again. Everything that has ever happened to me before I met him in the supermarket must be deeply buried, never to surface or be thought of again. The woman in the mirror looking back at me seemed much calmer, now. Yes, I can do this. He will wine me, and dine me, and I'll let him fall in love with me. Body, mind and heart were all working together, now. With my body in lust, my mind in love and my heart determined to capture his, I gathered up my purse and took the first step of a new beginning; a new life. We went to the nicest place in town. The smoked salmon and the wine were a perfect match. Jim had it all. He not only had the strong good looks, his intelligence stimulated my mind and his manners spoke of deep respect. Never had I been paid so high a compliment. He was a perfect gentleman the entire evening. The evening ended back at my door with him taking my hand in his and after kissing the back of my hand, he saw me safely locked behind my door. Our second date, the next afternoon, started at.... Eeerrrkkk! Damn, the phone again. How was I supposed to lay here and dream about the wonderful way I woke up this morning. It was probably Sue again. "Murphy's mule barn. Which jackass are you?" I heard an explosion of laughter at the other end of the line. Oops, it wasn't Sue. I patiently waited for whoever was calling to get themselves under control. "Janice? Is that you?" I recognized this voice immediately, too. "Sorry, Abby, I thought you were someone else." "Obviously. Do you know where our husbands are right now?" "Gone fishing?" "Right. You know what that means, don't you?" "Okay, Abby, I give up. What does it mean?" "Mall time! Get your walking shoes on, girl. It's time to shop. Beth and I'll pick you up in a few minutes." "Okay, I'll be ready when you get here." * * * * * We arrived at the mall just as they were unlocking the doors. Neither Abby nor Beth had much to say during the trip. If anything, the atmosphere seemed to be somewhat strained. We toured a couple of small shops but none of us seemed to be in the mood to seriously consider buying anything. I was starting to wonder if something was wrong when we came to the food court. We each ordered coffee and Beth led us to a secluded table at the far corner. They looked at each other and I was beginning to get nervous. Something was up, that was for sure. Taking a deep breath, Abby finally took the plunge. "So, uh, Janice, you, uh, ever considered adding a little spice to your love-life?" I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Was she serious? I immediately looked around but didn't see anyone sitting close enough to overhear us. Leaning forward like we were involved in a secret conspiracy, I whispered, "What? What do you mean?" "You know. Like, uh, maybe trading husbands once in a while. Just to experience something different occasionally, so to speak." It all came back, flooding my mind with memories of things I had tried so desperately to forget. Mom, dad, my step-dad, my algebra teacher, college professors, major investors at the bank, and a few others right up until that fateful day at the super market. The day my life changed, the day my outlook on people changed, the day I met Jim. "No! No way! Impossible! Not on my life!" I said, much too loudly. Each of us looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear my outburst. They both looked at me, confused, startled at my reaction to what Abby had suggested. Beth finally found her tongue and said, "Easy, Janice, easy. We're sorry. We didn't mean to upset you." Recovering my control, "No, no need to apologize. It's just that your question surprised me is all. Believe me, sex with another man was the furthest thing from my mind. So, are you trying to tell me you and your husbands trade partners or do you belong to a swing club and have sex with several other couples?" They exchanged looks again and then Abby replied, "Yes, something like that. There is a group of us that meet on Saturday evenings and we do pleasure each other, so to speak." "Oh my...! Abby, I've known you and Beth for what, five years now? I had no idea you and your husbands belonged to a swing club. Are you asking Jim and me to join your group?" "Well, yes. We thought you and Jim might be ...." "Oh, for God's sake, Abby, quit beating around the bush." Beth interrupted. "Yes, we belong to a group of about twenty couples. Yes, we all get together the first Saturday of every month at a large house out in the country. There is complete privacy and everyone tries to fuck everyone else's brains out. We get together in smaller groups throughout the rest of the month and try to do the same thing. And yes, we're asking you to join. There, now you know. Would you and Jim be interested in taking someone else out for a spin?" "No, Beth, there's only one man in my life, my husband. And, I intend to keep it that way. Whatever gave you the impression that Jim and I would be interested in 'taking someone else out for a spin' as you put it?" "Well, neither one of you hesitate to dance with other partners at our little Friday night get-togethers," Abby offered. "Yes, and neither one of you have ever shown any sign of jealously when the other was dancing with someone else," added Beth. "So, we were hoping maybe you and Jim might be interested in experimenting a little bit. You know, other partners, maybe learn new things to try with each other. Maybe add a little variety to your sex life. That's all it is, you know. It's just pure sex, absolutely no love involved at all," Abby attempted to explain. The lifestyle they were proposing wasn't exactly foreign to me. One of my college professors had introduced me to those kinds of parties years ago. I didn't like it then and I certainly wasn't going to consider it now. I had absolutely no desire to screw, or be screwed by, any man but Jim. And just thinking of him with some other woman was frightening to me. Sometimes Love is Not Enough, Redux "No, thanks, ladies, I'm not interested." "What about Jim?" queried Ann. "He's not interested either." "Are you sure?" Beth asked. "Have you ever discussed something like this with him?" "No, the subject has never come up. However, if it did, I'm sure he wouldn't be interested." "But what if he was interested?" Abby persisted. "Would you be willing to go along with it?" "You two must know something I don't. Come on, give." They glanced at each other and then Beth explained. "Well, Adam and Brent are making the same proposal to Jim. That's why they took him fishing. We figured we would talk to each of you separately. That way, one of you wouldn't feel pressured by the other to agree or disagree. Then, if one of you were interested, we'd talk to the two of you together. We really would like for you to join our group. However, if you decline, there won't be any hurt feelings on our part. We just hope there aren't any hurt feelings on your part about us asking you to join." "Abby, Beth, I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to answer for Jim, without checking with him first. Our answer is... no. Thank you for your offer but this is something we will not do. Please don't misunderstand. We would never condemn anyone for living that kind of lifestyle; it's just not for us." They seemed to accept my answer and the tension we had all felt began to fade away. We finished our coffee and started to shop. I ended up buying a complete new business suit, one with pants or a knee-length pleated skirt option, including shoes and a hand-tooled leather handbag. Victoria's Secret even managed to get a piece of my credit card for the under things I needed to go with my new suit. I would surprise Jim with it at my first opportunity. It wasn't long before they started telling me about some of the crazy things that happened at their swing parties. I'm sure some of the other shoppers thought we were a little crazy the way we were laughing and carrying on. I got the impression that the invitation for Jim and I to join their little group would always be open. After a long day of shopping, they managed to get me home shortly after six. Chapter 03 Jim managed to beat me home, but not by much. He had just come from the shower and was headed toward the den when I intercepted him in the hall. I kissed him on the cheek and told him supper would be ready in about an hour. Opening the fridge, wondering if I should fix pork chops or chicken, I discovered fresh fish soaking in a large pan of salt water and that made the choice for me. The guilt I was feeling, from two sides, was worrying me and I'm sure Jim noticed it during supper. I had left the purchases from my shopping trip with Abby, explaining I wanted to surprise Jim with the outfit later. I normally never hid anything from him but I did want to surprise him at an appropriate time with the new outfit. That was a small item compared to telling my sister she could stay with us for a while. Jim and I always discussed everything before making a decision. The last time Sue was here, she stayed for over three months. We didn't really mind the intrusion but she sure put a crimp in our love life. Well, I would put her in the upstairs bedroom furthest from ours. Just maybe, with our door closed, she wouldn't overhear too much. Jim barricaded himself in the den after supper. He had been working on some special work project for several months now and I was guessing it was just about completed. Two hours of TV was all I could stand so I went to bed, hoping Jim would soon join me. An hour later, he came in, stripped, and crawled in beside me. We both stared at the ceiling for a while and then he asked, "Who were you shopping with today?" That was an easy question to answer. "Abby and Beth called not too long after you left and I spent the day with them." Something was bothering him. He was probably thinking about Adam and Brent and what they had to say about the swing club. "I noticed you didn't bring any packages home with you. You must not have done much shopping," he ventured. He was getting tense, now. His voice and body language didn't change, but I could feel it. Well, I needed to get Sue's predicament out of the way first. "We didn't. We spent most of the day just talking. Honey, I kinda agreed to something without checking with you first." Wow, his tension meter just pegged out. Normally, he was Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected. He never gave any outward sign of what he was thinking or feeling but I had learned to see what most people would miss. His breathing changed ever so slightly, his words would be a bit more precise, and he would wiggle his toes. With his shoes on, it was very hard to tell what his toes were doing but lying here in bed, I could see them moving under the covers. Whatever the guys said to him really had him upset. I had to tell him about Sue and I wished now that I had done so as soon as I got home. Steeling myself, I took the plunge. "Sis called right after you left. She had to leave her husband and she doesn't have anywhere to stay. I told her she could stay with us until she finds a place of her own. We are to pick her up at the bus depot tomorrow morning. I'm sorry, honey, she's my sister. I just couldn't turn her down." A look of profound relief seemed to travel the entire length of his body. Whatever he thought I was going to say, I didn't. I knew what he was thinking and this was starting to get funny. I didn't dare to laugh though. Heck, I better not even giggle. Both subjects were serious but I had to get Sue's problem out of the way first. "So, how long is she going to stay this time?" Finally, we were both on the same page. A crisis had just passed and he wasn't even aware that I knew what he was thinking about. "I don't know how long she'll be here. She was crying and I couldn't get any details from her. You're not mad, are you?" "No, of course not. I'm just thinking she'll kind of put a crimp in our nightly antics is all. I wouldn't want to embarrass her." "You mean you don't want to be embarrassed," I giggled. It was safe to giggle, now. "Don't worry, I'll put her in the far bedroom upstairs. She won't overhear too much up there." He obviously had to think about this because it was a full minute before he answered me. "Sounds like a plan to me. Now then, tell me about your day with Abby and Beth." Now, we could get to the other problem, the one that was bothering him a little bit ago. He thought I had agreed to join the swing club without talking about it with him first. I could put his mind at ease about that real quick. "Well, we did have a lengthy discussion. They told me Adam and Brent were going to talk to you about the same thing. It seems they belong to a swing club and they were wondering if we would be interested in joining them. What did the boys have to say?" "They told me that everyone swam nude, played games and then the girls would have a drawing of some kind to see who their sleeping partner would be for the night. I basically told them I couldn't stand the thought of you sleeping with someone else and I wouldn't do it because I could never break my marriage vows to you." "Oh, honey, that's so sweet. Thank you. Is that all they told you? The girls told me a lot more than that." "That's all that was said. They changed the subject when I told them how I felt. Tell me, what did the girls have to say?" "Oh, they went into a lot of detail. Sometimes they have a poker night. Everyone starts with the same number of clothes on. When you've run out of clothes, then you have to start doing forfeits. On swim night, you draw for your partner and then each couple jumps in and the couple that undresses each other in the fastest time wins some kind of a special treat from the losers. Abby said that the last time she won, she made five guys please her at the same time. She said that the last time Adam was a winner, he had several of the women pleasing him at the same time. They have all kinds of contests to see who can fuck the longest before the man comes. Sometimes the girls see which one can make her partner come the quickest. It sounds like they have a lot of fun at it. Beth told me that they even have a little girl-on-girl action once in a while. Can you believe that?" "Yeah, I can believe that. It's just a life-style I've never considered. Tell me, Janice, have I misread you? Is this something you want to try? You seem to be kinda enthused about it." Oops, did I just go too far in giving him all the details of our conversation at the mall? Does he by chance think this is something I want to do? Could it be that this is something he wants to do? What do I say now? I loved this man so much I would do anything he asked. Oh, God, please don't let him be interested in something like this. If we were to start this kind of lifestyle I would eventually have to tell him of my life before we met. We agreed before we were married that what was in the past would remain there. Joining a swing club would open old wounds and memories I didn't want to face. I felt him raise up on his elbow and he was looking directly into my eyes. He was so calm, so in control of himself, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I started to deny having any such thoughts of joining a swing club but then, if this was something he really wanted to do, there wasn't any way I could say no to him. Instead of giving him a flat denial, I probed with a question. "How would you feel about sharing me with other men?" "Nope, I have no desire to share you with anyone else. How about you? You want to share me with other women?" So that was it. He was trying to consider my feelings just like I was trying to consider his. Thank you, God! "No, honey, that's something I wouldn't care to do. I love you too much to even think about sharing you with someone else. Besides, I think joining a group of swingers would be a very high-risk thing to do. If something like that were to become common knowledge, it would ruin my career." It was a good ending to a troubling day. He wasn't upset that my sister would be staying with us for an extended period of time and we each found out that the other wasn't interested in joining a swing club. I rolled over on my side as he cuddled up close and personal to my back, his arm draped over me and his hand cupping my breast. I was feeling so secure, so loved, as I drifted off to sleep. Chapter 04 We woke up early Sunday morning. A half an hour of gentle loving started the day off just right. We ate a healthy breakfast and Jim headed for the mower shed as I loaded the dishwasher. He wasn't satisfied with one mower. He had one to ride around on, a push mower for places he couldn't ride to, a weed whip to beat up on stuff that was out of reach of the mowers, and an edger to make the walk, curb, and drive look perfectly squared off. Our front yard wasn't small, by any means, and the back yard was huge. He would be riding and pushing and edging for three or four hours. Then there were bushes to trim and a couple of flowerbeds that needed attention. He would end up spending most of the day outside. I made the mistake of asking him why he didn't hire it done and got a short lecture about him having to do it himself if it was to be done right. He ended the lecture with, "Besides, its something mundane I can do while I'm thinking of ways to solve problems at work." * * * * * Sue was a mess when she stepped off the bus. Hair tangled, eyes red from crying, clothes wrinkled, and she smelled like three-day-old laundry. She had one large battered suitcase and two plastic shopping bags tied together in the way of luggage. That went into the trunk and would go directly to the laundry room. Not a thing was clean. I drove her straight home and stuffed her in the shower while I hunted up clean clothes for her to wear. We were basically the same size so finding jeans and a cotton shirt along with the appropriate under things wasn't a problem. Jim was riding around the back yard on his mower and I'm sure he wasn't even aware we had been there. Sue was hungry - she hadn't eaten since yesterday - and I didn't want to fix a second breakfast at home so we went to 'IHOP'. She ate like she was half starved and I enjoyed a good cup of coffee. One of the beauty shops at the mall was open on Sundays and that was our next stop. A haircut, manicure, and a little makeup went a long way toward improving her looks and attitude. We managed to find a secluded table at the food court and over several cups of coffee, the problems all came pouring out. Three months behind on the rent and an eviction notice delivered by a cop. Checking account drastically overdrawn. What little jewelry she had, including her engagement and wedding ring, had been forfeited at a pawnshop. Utilities turned off over a week ago. The car broke and beyond repair. The list went on and on. Her beloved husband's drinking had literally put them in the street with no place to go. She had managed to borrow enough money from the only friend she had left for the bus ticket here. All she had left in this world was the luggage she brought with her, and me. The most difficult thing about this whole mess was she thought she still loved him. Why, I don't know, but it was her feelings that counted, not mine. The last argument about his drinking had been a serious one. He had been drinking heavily and she was trying to get him to seek professional help when he told her to get out and leave him alone. She knew he didn't really mean it but hoped if she did move out, it would force him to realize what alcohol was doing to their marriage and he would get the help he needed. She claimed he was the nicest man in the world when he was sober but that wasn't very often anymore. Out of desperation, her last words to him were, "I'm going to my sister's. Don't call until you're sober enough to have an intelligent conversation." The clothes she brought with her were in pretty sad shape so I felt a little walk through the mall was in order. We went right down the list. Shopping for jeans, shirts, undergarments, sneakers, and a few toiletries took up most of the afternoon. She complained all the way, saying I shouldn't be wasting my money but what the hell? I spent more on my last handbag than I was spending on her. Besides, she was my sister and she really did need the help. We got home about six. Jim was finished with all the outside chores and had supper started. Chapter 05 In a way, Sue came at a good time for us. Jim was working overtime on a project that had to be completed as soon as possible. The president of the bank where I work had been overly aggressive in recruitment of new investors lately and I was trying to juggle meetings and entertainment for half a dozen big shots that demanded the best of everything. We were both coming home late, tired and grumpy. Sue was at least trying to pull her own weight and help as much as possible. She would have breakfast ready every morning and supper waiting on us when we arrived home. She even dusted, mopped, and did laundry. Other than during meals, we didn't have much time to spend with her. We hosted the next Friday night party. Things went smoothly and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. Sue met Abby and Beth and it was friendship at first sight. That gave her someone to hang out with during the day and took some of the pressure off Jim and me. Our intimate times together stopped. We were either too tired or Jim was too embarrassed at the thought of being overheard by Sue. There were two major conventions in town, which prevented me from renting us a room for a noontime tryst. Then it dawned on me, the bank keeps a permanent suite reserved at the best hotel in town. It was always available for visiting VIP customers of the bank. We put it to good use Tuesday and as Jim said afterward, it went a long way toward relieving the tension in the back of his neck. It certainly did wonders for me, too. I was still smiling during supper that evening. I woke up an hour early Thursday morning. We were planing on another tryst of lust today and I wanted to make it memorable for Jim. I had managed to sneak my new business suit into the closet from storage at Abby's the other day. I showered, shaved, applied makeup and was finishing my hair when Jim woke up. He just sat on the edge of the bed and watched as I slowly dressed. The pleated skirt was for today, the pants would be worn some other time. It was impossible to miss the excitement between his legs when I had finished. Sue had things ready when we walked into the kitchen. We ate but I don't think Jim had eating - breakfast that is - on his mind. We went into the garage and he started to get into his car. "Don't forget, Dear. We meet at ten this morning," I reminded him, using my sexiest voice. I raised my skirt to my hips and slowly turned around as I said it. He growled, got in his car and started to back out before he opened the garage door. He realized it just in time and stopped about an inch from the door. My poor husband was totally flustered. Mr. Calm, Cool, Collected, and totally in control just sat there, red faced, and patiently waited on the door to open. Damn, I loved that man, with all my heart. * * * * * The bank president, Mr. T. J. Smythe, was dancing on pins and needles when I arrived at my office. He was more than a little worried about lunch with Wilder today. Since I was Vice President in charge of human resources and public relations, I'm sure he felt the success or failure of the noon lunch was directly on my shoulders. I assured him everything would be exactly as he had dictated it should be. I told him I would be out of my office between ten and eleven this morning to take care of some personal business but would be back in plenty of time for our business lunch. He was back thirty minutes later, nervous and sweating, to ask the same questions and I gave him the same answers. Our illustrious president didn't worry me a bit, even if he was my direct boss. The honoree of this little get-together was another matter. Mr. Robin Wilder of Wilder, Inc. thought himself to be a powerful man, both physically and financially. His first visit to the bank two months ago convinced me he wasn't a very nice man. A short meeting turned into lunch at one of the better eating establishments. The president told me to handle it so I set it up for the VP of investments and one of the girls from the front office to attend. Mr. Wilder focused his attention on me and when lunch was over, he asked me to go to a nightclub that evening. I declined, telling him my husband and I already had plans. I mentioned that the young lady (Lisa) who had lunch with us was single and might like to go with him. He just frowned and walked away. I was maneuvered into having lunch with him again two weeks later. I made sure the other single young lady (Nora) from the front office went with us. He completely ignored her and once again devoted his attention to me. I was really starting to dislike him by this time. He was arrogant, egotistical, self-centered, over-bearing, and as full of himself as any man I had ever met. Years ago, before Jim, I might have let this jerk use me but if I had, I would have made sure I received something in return. He flat out asked me for a date and I politely told him no. I tried to explain that I was happily married but he just shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and said that maybe I would accept another time. That was the last of the lunches until today. I wasn't worried because President Smythe, along with the VP of investments, the VP of business and commercial loans, and our legal council would also be in attendance. It was supposed to be a relaxed lunch and then we would return to the bank and he would start transferring all of his accounts to us. Sometimes Love is Not Enough, Redux * * * * * Smythe caught me as I was leaving my office at a quarter till ten to again ask if I was sure everything was set up properly for lunch at noon. I had never seen him so nervous before. He must really want this account. I assured him everything would be just fine and hurried out the door. I had something a lot more important to think about, mainly an hour of lust with Jim. I arrived at the suite first so I patiently sat at the small desk in front of the door. Hearing his key in the lock, I stepped to the door and grabbed him around the waist as he entered. I planted my tongue in his mouth and started hunching his leg. Damn, but I was burning up between my legs. We both proved we were capable of multi-tasking. We continued to kiss as he managed to somehow kick the door closed behind him as we started removing one another's clothes. Our lips never separated. Jim picked me up and carried me to the bedroom as soon as we were naked. He literally tossed me on the bed and plunged tongue first into my very wet pussy. I was gasping in orgasmic bliss less than two minutes later. He didn't wait for me to finish but crawled up and impaled himself in me while I was still at my peak. That just drove me higher as I wrapped my legs around him and hung on for dear life. Sparks were dancing up and down my spine and that warm fuzzy feeling between my legs was radiating up through my body directly to my nipples. I felt Jim erupt deep within me and the room started spinning. The next thing I knew, Jim was gently stroking my forehead, asking if I was alright. With lust out of the way, we spent the next forty minutes making slow, gentle, passionate love. We showered together, me wearing a plastic shower cap to preserve what was left of my hairdo. It didn't take Jim long to dress but I took my time and carefully dressed in front of him for the second time today. He does, at times, know exactly what to say to me to make my heart sing with joy. "Janice, I reviewed the credit card receipts yesterday evening. That new outfit you surprised me with today is worth every penny you spent. You really make it look good. I think you should go shopping with Abby and Beth again and find some more just like it, only in different colors." That was so like him. He noted the purchase date and remembered who I was with when I bought it. "Thanks, Honey, I love you too." If that damn lunch wasn't so important today, I know we would have spent another hour making a bigger mess of the sheets. We took time for a long lingering kiss and hurried out the door. * * * * * I made it back to my office with plenty of time to spare. The hotel where we kept the suite was blessed with one of the premier places in town to eat. I made a last minute call to confirm the reservations and was hanging up the phone as Mr. Smythe walked in. "Janice, I need to see you in my office for a few minutes; come with me." He was sweating again and his voice had a quiver to it that I didn't like. I noticed his hands were shaking and he was walking almost like a robot. Locking the door behind us, he started speaking immediately. "Plans have changed. Things have changed. I think Mr. Wilder may be backing out on our deal. The bank needs this account in the worst way. To put it bluntly, he wants some time alone with you or he will take his business elsewhere. I can't let that happen. You have to agree to this." I was floored. I couldn't believe my ears. This had never happened before. Sweat was dripping off the end of his nose and making a mess of his red power-tie. His lower lip was quivering and he almost missed his oversized, over stuffed executive chair when he sat down. I just stood there, astonished. They say, at the instant of death, your whole life flashes before your eyes. Well, I wasn't dying, but I could just as well have been. I was so confused, so shocked, I couldn't speak. "Here's what's going to happen, Janice. We will all have lunch together. Everyone will leave when it's over but, you and Mr. Wilder will remain behind to go over some minor details. You will do what ever is necessary to make sure his money comes to this bank. Do you understand?" I staggered to the plush leather couch across from his desk and sat down. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This shouldn't be happening. This had never happened before. Sure, in the past, before Jim, introductions would be made. If I chose to date the man, fine; if not, that was okay too. If I managed to secure the customer's business, great. I would be appropriately rewarded. The decision was always left to me. Now, I wasn't being given a choice. This time, I was being told what was expected. No, I couldn't do this. It was too much to ask. He knew what my marriage to Jim meant to me. "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Smythe; that part of my life is over. I can't do it. I have a husband now and I refuse to entertain customers anymore. You'll just have to think of something else." "Janice, this is what Mr. Wilder wants. You will do it. You don't have a choice." "Yes, I do have a choice. I'll quit." "No, you won't. If you think as much of your marriage as you claim to, you'll take very good care of Mr. Wilder. As a matter of fact, you will take care of anyone else I tell you to. Like it or not, I own you. Deal with it any way you want, just get the job done." "Hey, wait a minute here! What the hell is this about you owning me? Just who the hell do you think you are?" He spun the flat-screen monitor around to face me, opened a file and leaned back in his chair, smugly looking at me. His manner had changed. He was no longer sweating or showing any other sign of nervousness. Evidently, having finally made up his mind to do this, he was calm and self-assured. The file came up and my heart stopped. Thumbnails, dozens of thumbnails, of me! They appeared, page after page, as he slowly scrolled down the screen. Pictures of me with clients at the suite. He started enlarging them, one after the other, filling the screen with evidence of my past life. The old life, the life I abandoned the day I met Jim. This couldn't be real. It was a nightmare. Yes, that was it. I would wake up in a little bit and Jim would be cuddling up to me and my bad dream would be over. "Look at the pictures, Janice. Do you see any dates on them? Co-operate and you will receive a very nice bonus check. Walk out and I promise the pictures will be in your husband's hands within thirty minutes. Notice there are no face shots of any of our clients. Yours is certainly visible though. There's also a nice little two-hour video carefully edited to highlight your special talents. A letter explaining how you've been warned about fraternizing with customers will be included with the pictures. Notation of a verbal reprimand dated three years ago and a written reprimand dated six months ago was placed in your personal file this morning." "B-But, it isn't true. Everything you have there happened before Jim and I ever met." "So? You know that and I know that, but good luck trying to convince him of that." "Please, don't do this to me. I'm begging you, please?" "Look, like it or not, this has to be done. I made promises to the board of directors and I intend to keep them. Do what you're told and no one will ever know. You've got ten minutes to fix your face and then we leave for lunch. It's that or I send a certain envelope to your husband by special messenger." He unlocked and opened the door. I don't remember walking there but the next thing I knew I was in the ladies room washing the tears from my face. * * * * * Walking out of the bank, the short trip in the car, sitting at the table; it was all a blur. I just couldn't process what was happening to me. I knew my husband, quite well. If he were to receive that envelope, our marriage would probably end. That was a risk I couldn't take. Seeing the pictures and video would drive a wedge between us. There was no way I could prove that those things happened before I met him. And, even if I could convince him it was all in the past, how would he feel, knowing what my life was like before I met him? No! I couldn't let that happen. He must never know. Somehow, I had to make this go away. Time. I need time. There was no time. I could go to the police. No! It would all become evidence. Jim would see it. I might get Smythe but I would lose Jim. That can't happen. I could go to the board of directors. No. No time for that. Jim would have the envelope before I could arrange to see them. Besides, they might know and approve of what Smythe was doing. Damn it! I felt something tapping my ankle. My eyes came into focus and Smythe was glaring at me. He nodded toward Wilder and arrogantly mouthed the word 'smile'. This was it. I had no options. Smythe had won. I looked to my right and smiled at Wilder. He smiled back, looked at Smythe and said something in a voice too low for me to hear. I picked up my fork and tried to eat. Food was the last thing on my mind but I had to at least try to act normal. The full glass of wine sitting in front of me disappeared and someone immediately filled it. A few bites of food, a glass of wine, and a smile for Wilder. By the end of the third glass, my meal was still less than half-consumed. Smythe was looking smug, Wilder was looking victorious, and I was being molested under the table. His hand had started just above my knee and slowly worked its way up my leg, taking the hem of my skirt with it. He was unsuccessfully trying to massage me between my legs. Taking the first drink from my fourth glass of wine, I spread my knees and scooted down in the chair a couple of inches. There was no other choice, no other option. I let my mind travel back in time, back to the old Janice. The Janice who had been in situations like this before. The Janice who could close down her feelings, separate her mind from her body and endure what was necessary. I returned to the old Janice, the Janice that existed before she changed her life for the man she loved. She knew how to deal with this. If these bastards wanted a slut, fine, I'd resurrect the old Janice to do what was required, but I damn sure didn't have to like it. The next thing I knew, lunch was over and Wilder was closing the door of the suite behind us. The progression to the bedroom was repulsive. He would slobber in my mouth and then remove an article of clothing. Take a couple of steps, slobber, remove something. That's the way it went on our way to the bedroom. I was down to stockings and garter belt when we bumped into the bed and he was naked. He gave me a shove and I fell backwards onto the bed. With a growl of triumph, he raised my knees and spread my legs. The pressure of his tongue on my pussy extracted my first smile since this disaster started. I even had to giggle. I'm sure Wilder was proud as hell that he was able to get such a response from me so quickly. Actually, I was wondering how proud he would feel if he knew he was cleaning the remnants of Jim's cum from me. I forced myself to moan as if in orgasmic ecstasy in order to cover an outright laugh when he bragged about how wet he had made me. My small feeling of satisfaction at his ignorance was short-lived when he scooted up and stuck his dick in me. He grabbed my feet, spread my legs as far as they would go, and started slamming his cock into me as deep as it would go. It was as if his assault was anger driven because he was hurting the hell out of me. I was moaning and telling him to fuck me but I wasn't in sexual bliss. I wanted him to finish and get out of there as soon as possible. Much more of this and I would be black and blue between my legs. I didn't think he was ever going to stop. He suddenly withdrew and told me to get on my hands and knees. I tried to take my time but as soon as I started to roll over, he grabbed my hips, finished rolling me over, jerked my hips up and started slamming into me again. At least his pelvic bone wasn't banging into mine now. I don't know how long he lasted but I was getting dry and it was starting to get painful. He finally came and I let out a small moan because it stung so badly. The son-of-a-bitch didn't even realize I was in pain. He fell forward on me, flattening me to the bed and panting in my ear. He started gathering up his clothes and getting dressed. When he looked questionably at me I told him I needed to rest for a few minutes. There was that arrogant smile again. I wanted to smash him in the mouth with a skillet, a hot one. I heard him open the door and leave a few minutes later. The old Janice slowly faded away. She had performed as required and I could return her to the dark corner of my mind that hadn't been visited for over five years. I rolled over and sobbed into the pillow. I knew what I had done. I knew why I did it. I also knew this couldn't continue. In a matter of a couple of hours, I had lost what little self-respect I had managed to gain since I met Jim. He had to know, but how could I tell him without destroying our marriage? Would he believe me? Everything Smythe had, had happened before we met. Would he understand? No, he wouldn't understand. He would leave and our marriage would be over. Smythe! He was the key. How could I deal with him? What would I have to do to convince him to get rid of all those old pictures? Oh, no! All of those pictures were taken in this room. Oh, damn! There had to be cameras in here somewhere. I bet the son-of-a-bitch had fresh pictures now. Damn it! How could I be so stupid? I couldn't see any way out of this. It was bound to continue. It was a sure bet Wilder would want me again. He would call Smythe and Smythe would call me and I would be right back here, legs spread and waiting for the gross bastard. He wouldn't be the only one either. Now that Smythe knew he had me under his control, he would continue to use me as often as he wanted to. That was something else I didn't understand. Why was Smythe doing this? He didn't use to be this way. What had changed to make him do this to me? Was it just me, or was he blackmailing the other two girls too? Would I dare to ask them? If it were just me, I certainly didn't want them to know about it. However, it they were being used too, could the three of us together find a way out of this? Now that it was over, I could lie here and think rationally. I wish I would have had time to think this through before it happened. Maybe that was the plan all along. He sure waited until the last minute to spring this on me. There wasn't any reason for me to go back to work this afternoon. My signature wasn't required on any of the documents. I was just the final inducement to get the signature of someone else. Maybe a long hot shower would help. I felt dirty. No, not dirty; I felt filthy. I rolled out of bed and made my way to the shower. I was sore and had a burning sensation between my legs. The bastard had certainly fucked me raw. I hoped he was as sore as I was. The son-of-a-bitch hadn't even had the courtesy to use a condom. That would mean a trip to the doctor for some testing. I adjusted the water as hot as I could stand it and stood under the spray for a good twenty minutes. I didn't even wear a shower cap. My hair could be repaired later, at home. The shower helped to clear my head. Why did I still feel dirty? Well, I would have to deal with that later. It was decision time and I made one while toweling off. Jim had to know, today. All I could do was tell him and hope he would listen to the complete story before he left. There was no doubt in my mind that he would leave, but maybe he would come back after he had some time alone. It couldn't even wait until this evening. I would call him at work and have him meet me at home as soon as possible. I went into the living area and started gathering up my clothes. Where were my panties? Did that bastard take them as a souvenir? That's when I saw them lying in the center of the table. Why would he put them there? What was that lying in the center of them? A ring! Oh, God! ... Oh, no! ... Jim's ring! ... He was ... here! ... He saw! ... My stomach, cramping. The room, spinning. I was falling, unaware of the pain of hitting the floor. Convulsions raked my body. The bitter taste of vomit in my mouth, yuck. I need air. I'm choking. I've got to breathe. And then darkness enveloped me.... The table leg slowly came into focus, then chair legs materialized. I was lying on the floor. The right side of my head was lying in something wet and squishy. Why was I here? What happened? The aroma ... that smell! I managed to get to my hands and knees. The ring ... Jim's ring ... he was here ... he saw! More convulsions raked my body, now joined by sobs and tears. My marriage was over! Jim! My Jim! I had to find him. I had to explain. He had to listen. Drops of vomit dripped from my face into the pool on the floor as I tried to stand. My hand slipped in the mess and I fell back into the bile. Damn! The second attempt at rising was more successful. I was able to climb onto a chair. Jim's ring, gleaming at me from where it rested on a pool of pink silk triggered the process again. My forehead hit the edge of the table and I heaved as I struggled to stay in the chair. Nothing was left to come up. I don't know how long I sat there, sobs raking my body, tears falling to the floor. I managed to drag my handbag across the table and dug my cell phone out. I made three attempts, flubbing the numbers each time before I remembered Jim's cell was number one on the speed dial. He didn't answer. Speed dial number two was his office. Maggie, his secretary, answered and all she knew was that Jim had left in a hurry, mumbling something about a lost pocketknife. She promised she would tell him I called as soon as he came back. Speed dial number three was home. No answer. He wasn't there and Sue must be somewhere with Abby. I tried Jim's cell again. He must have it turned off. I went back to the shower and washed the filth off. A few paper towels, along with another bout of dry heaves, and I managed to clean the mess from the kitchen floor. I slipped my skirt and jacket on, stuffed the rest in my leather shoulder bag and headed for home. The house was empty. Jim wasn't there and Sue hadn't returned yet. I could still smell the stench of vomit, and Wilder, so I stripped and stepped into the shower again. I let the cleansing water flow over me until there was no hot water left. Cotton underwear, jeans and an old sleeveless sweatshirt fit the mood I was in just perfectly. Sue didn't get home until almost dark. She found me curled up on my bed, cuddled up to the telephone. I had called Maggie and Jim's numbers every fifteen minutes until Maggie went home at five. Jim wasn't answering and Maggie said she was starting to worry about his whereabouts. She promised she would let me know as soon as she heard from him. "Hey there, Little Sis, what's wrong?" "He's gone, Sue." "Gone? Why?" "I-I screwed up. It's all m-my f-f-fault." "Uh oh, there's only one thing that would make Jim leave. Please tell me you aren't having an affair." "N-no, I'm not having an a-affair. It's worse. M-much worse." "Okay, Janice. You need to talk. So come on, give. Tell Big Sis all about it." She sat down on the bed next to me and I tried to tell her about today. That led to questions, which led to more questions and the next thing I knew, I was crying on her shoulder and telling her everything that had happened in my life since she left home all those many years ago. I told her about our father and how abusive he had turned toward our mother and me. I told her about our step-dad and how he took me sexually during my junior year of high school. It shocked her to find out that our mother had not only gone along with it but had encouraged it. This, for some reason unknown to me, led to sex with my algebra teacher. I told her I didn't know why, all I knew was that it did. Now, reflecting back, it was obvious how easy it had been to progress to sex with a few of my college professors and how they had used me. I never approached them but I didn't say no when they approached me. I made it plain to her that I also got something out of the relationships. Sometimes Love is Not Enough That certainly wasn't the response I had expected. I didn't even take time to think about my answer. "Nope, I have no desire to share you with anyone else. How about you? You want to share me with other women?" "No, honey, that's something I wouldn't care to do. Besides, I think joining a group of swingers would be a very high-risk thing to do. If something like that were to become common knowledge, it would ruin my career." She was right about that. She worked for the largest bank/investment group in the six-state area. Her position as vice-president in charge of human resources and public relations would be in serious jeopardy if she were to be involved in any kind of scandal. They even featured her in some of their TV and radio commercials. Chapter 04 Janice picked Sue up at the bus depot Sunday morning and they were going to spend the day together. I got busy with the lawn mower and was about half done when Adam pulled into the drive on his bicycle. I shut the mower off and waited for him to speak. "Hey, Jim, how's it going this morning?" "I'm having a green day, Adam, a boring green day." "Yeah, I know what you mean. Ironic, ain't it? We fertilize it, water it and then complain because we have to cut it. Oh well, the nice pretty green lawns keep the girls happy. Here, have a beer, you look like you could use a break." Adam was riding an old-time bicycle. One of those made back in the 50s. Large balloon tires, a large seat that was actually designed to be sat on and a wire basket fastened to the handlebars. The small cooler in the basket is where the beer came from. We walked over to the shade of a large maple and sat down on an iron bench that Janice had bought at some expensive antique store. We each took a drink and then Adam got straight to the point. "So, Jim, have you and Janice considered my proposal?" "Yes, Adam, we talked it over. We're going to decline your offer. It's a life-style we don't care to explore. However, we're flattered you asked us to join your group. Thanks for the offer." "You're welcome. We're very careful about who we invite in." "Just out of curiosity, would you mind explaining how it works? I mean, I'm sure you just don't pick a couple at random and ask them if they want to share their spouse with other people." "Well, it's not complicated. Actually, it's pretty simple. We only ask couples that at least some of us have known for several months or longer. We then make an offer for them to join us and if they accept, we conduct a series of interviews with them. We talk to them separately and together. We are very careful about who we invite into our group. We want a couple that is curious about our life-style but has been afraid to try it because of the possibility of disease or other complications." "I don't understand, Adam. If a couple wants to experiment with extramarital sex, and the possibility of disease is eliminated, what other complications could there be?" Adam didn't answer right away. He took a swig of his beer, gazed off across the neighborhood, sighed, took another drink and then tried to explain. "Jim, there's no big secret or anything like that but I would rather you didn't repeat anything we've talked about this afternoon, okay?" "Okay, Adam, you have my word. I won't tell any tales out of school." Thanks, I appreciate that. I'm going to use you and Janice as an example. You moved here about eight months ago. You don't have any kids. If you did, it wouldn't stop us from asking you but it would be something else to consider. You have been coming to our Friday night parties since you moved here. You are both very well behaved. You don't drink to excess. You seem to get along well with everyone here. Neither one of you have given any indication that you might be on the make, so to speak. You are both attractive. The clincher is that neither of you has shown any jealousy when your mate was dancing with someone else. Do you now understand why we asked you to join us?" "I think so. If you don't mind my asking, what would have happened if we would have accepted?" "Abby would have talked to Janice and I would have talked with you. The main thing we would want to be one hundred percent sure of is that neither of you were seeing someone else on the side. If one of you were, then the offer would have been withdrawn. And no, if one of you were having an affair, we wouldn't tattle to the other. We would warn the one having the affair about the danger of sexually transmitted diseases though." "Okay, then what?" "Both of you would have to visit a doctor and be tested for STDs. Once that was out of the way, we would sit down with you and explain a list of rules. The first rule is that you must stay within the group for sex. The second rule is that you must attend parties as a couple. One can't stay home with the kids or be on the road. This helps to keep things even for both partners. There's several other rules but those are the two most important." "Sounds to me like you have everything pretty well organized. You ever had to kick anyone out of the group?" "No, we've had two couples move away and the male member of one couple was killed in a traffic accident. The widow still comes to our regular parties but since she no longer has a partner, she doesn't attend the sex parties. That's another of our rules; no singles allowed." "That's all very interesting, Adam. Thank you for your honesty." "You're welcome, Jim. The main reason I stopped by this morning was to be sure there weren't any hard feelings. We would like for you and Janice to continue coming to our Friday night parties. They are strictly on the up-and-up, no sex allowed." "Well, there is one thing we're upset about. We've got a nice pool and patio, so why can't we have the group here next Friday?" "It's a date, Jim, I'll let everyone know." "Tell me, Adam, how many of the Friday group are members of the swing club?" "Just Brent and Beth. I promise, they will always be on their best behavior." "One last thing, if you don't mind, is there anyone else in the Friday group that you're thinking about asking to join your little club?" "No, you were the only couple we were interested in." "Okay, Adam, we'll see everyone here at six sharp. Don't be late." Chapter 05 Things have gone down hill for the past couple of weeks. The bank/investment group Janice works for has been entertaining several large investors. If they are successful, it will mean millions to the bank. They've been running her ragged trying to schedule meetings and entertainment. Her days have been hectic and long. Our love life appears to be on hold. What little time we have at home has been taken up by Janice's sister, Sue. She's ten years older than we are but being kicked out of her home has her behaving like a homesick child. We know she needs someone to talk with but we really haven't had the time. She kinda made friends with Abby at last Friday's party. That helps keep her busy during the day, but she's here every night. She sits up till all hours and reads or watches TV. It's been hectic at my work too. We won the structural design and general contract on a very large one-year project this week. The first thing my boss did was ask me to move there to oversee things. That's a thousand miles away. I told him no, and the good thing is I have the seniority to turn it down. He just laughed and said he had to ask me before he forced it on someone else. Our sex life is about to pick up. Janice wasn't able to rent us a room due to two large conventions in town but her bank keeps a suite permanently rented for visiting investors. We used it during the noon hour last Tuesday. I seem to remember it had a small living room, a kitchenette, a writing desk, a large bathroom and two large bedrooms with king sized beds. Lust was even better today. Janice was hotter than a firecracker and I really lit her fuse. We had to go between ten and eleven this morning because she had a VIP lunch scheduled with a large potential investor today. She seems to think he will sign the papers giving her bank all of his business this afternoon. At a little over one hundred and twenty million dollars, he will be the third largest private investor at her bank. I had been wearing a smile that wouldn't go away for the two hours since I left Janice at eleven o'clock. My secretary came in with the afternoon mail, dropped it on my desk, winked at me with a knowing grin and returned to her office. Ah well, keeping secrets from Maggie, my secretary since I had started working here, was impossible. I didn't even try anymore. I reached into my right hand pants pocket for my small pocketknife to open the mail with and, 'Oh shit!' It wasn't there. I immediately stood and looked around my chair. I couldn't loose that knife, I just couldn't. It had belonged to my Grandfather and it was the only memento of him I had. I was in high school when he died and I still missed him. I had a short panic attack and then remembered it had been in my pocket when Janice removed my pants at the suite. It must have fallen out when I got dressed after our hour of lust. I didn't even slow down as I passed Maggie's desk. I just said I would be back in less than an hour and took the stairs two at a time on my way out of the building. It was a short, fast trip through traffic to the hotel. I only got honked at twice. I didn't want to take a chance on room service finding that knife and then loosing it somewhere in the shuffle. I parked and ran down the hall to the room. Thank goodness Janice had given me a key. I opened the door and there it was, lying on the floor right beside the small writing desk. I picked it up and smiled, remembering Granddad. It was at that moment my life changed, forever. One moment it's a nice pleasant sunny day and the next moment it's a dark cold night. Lying on the floor within three feet of where I found my knife was a man's silk shirt and a tie. A very expensive looking suit jacket was draped over the back of the couch. Next to the man's jacket was a woman's jacket. There was a silk blouse lying on the coffee table. Two pairs of shoes, one pair male and one pair female, were carelessly lying on the floor of the small living room. A pair of trousers and a skirt was on the floor at the beginning of the short hall. A bra, panties and silk shorts led right to the end of the hall where the three doors were. I wondered where the silk stockings and garter belt were. I wasn't sure just how expensive the male clothes were but if I were a betting man, which I'm not, I'd bet they cost more than the average American made in a month. I did know exactly how much the female clothes cost. Female suit jacket, medium blue, five seventy-five; skirt, medium blue, four sixty-five; Silk blouse, dark pink, two ninety-five; garter belt, pink, one twenty; silk stockings, black, one eighty; silk bra and panty set, pink, one thirty-five; and three inch high-heeled shoes, black, three forty-five. Sitting in the middle of the small kitchen table was a leather handbag, custom hand tooled, nine hundred. I knew what the cost of each item was because the credit card statement was lying on the upper right corner of my desk at home. That was me alright. Mister numbers. That's why I excelled at my job. I never forgot numbers. I liked working with numbers. The center door at the end of the hall led into the bathroom; it was wide open. The door on the right went to a bedroom; the one Janice and I had used between ten and eleven this morning. It was wide open and the room, bed all messed up, was empty. The door on the left was wide open too. That was the bedroom we didn't use this morning between ten and eleven. It was definitely in use now though. Janice was on her back, legs obscenely spread, feet waving in the air. I now knew where the stockings and garter belt were. She hadn't bothered to take them off. He was holding her by her heels and slamming his pelvis into hers. He pulled out of my wife and told her to get on her hands and knees. He started banging into her again as soon as she was in position. It wasn't long before he was shouting about coming and she was moaning about doing the same thing. Yep, he was coming in her and I guess that meant his money, all one hundred twenty million of it would be coming into her bank. I recognized the son-of-a-bitch. His picture, wife and kids included, had been in the paper several times over the last few months. His ass tightened up and quivered for a good half a minute. She just lay there with her head on the pillow, her ass in the air and moaned about how good it felt. That was funny. I always got more of a reaction out of her than that. He collapsed on top of her and they just lay there, panting heavily. I decided it was time to leave. I have no idea why they didn't see me. I had been standing right in the middle of the open door way for several minutes. I picked her pretty pink panties up off the floor and moving the handbag aside, neatly spread them on the middle of the table. I removed my wedding ring and placed it on the center of her panties. I remember gently closing the door behind me and walking down the hall. I remember driving, but I'm not sure where I went. At some point, I remember Maggie, faithful Maggie, holding my face in her hands and smiling at me. Bear was there, along with Maggie, and they moved me to a dark place. I liked Bear, we had something in common. He owned a bar located in the most dangerous part of the city. We both liked the works of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. We used to spend hours talking about it. Bear was my friend. What were he and Maggie doing together? Chapter 06 I was in a dark fog, swimming in a dark fog, trying to get to the light. It was slow, oh so slow. The light eventually got brighter and I could make out black outlines on white paper. No, not paper, a ceiling, a white tile ceiling. The lines were blurry, then in focus, then blurry again. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, at least I think it was a few minutes and then when I opened my eyes again, the lines stayed in focus. Something was pounding on my head. No, something was pounding inside my head. I groaned and a voice beside me said, "Welcome back to the land of the living, Boss." I groaned again and turned my head very slightly to the left. "Maggie, what are you doing in my bedroom?" "I'm not in your bedroom, Boss. You're in mine." I had to think about that for a minute. Why was I in her bedroom, in her bed. It had to be her bed, because it didn't smell like mine. It had a sweeter, feminine smell, like roses. Mine smelled like lilacs. It was more comfortable too. I groaned again, realizing I had another, more immediate problem. "Need help to the bathroom, Boss?" I tried to rise up but the little guy with the big hammer inside my head slammed it against something and I fell back in pain. I swam through the fog again and then Mike, Maggie's husband, was helping me up. 'Oh, shit!' I was in Maggie's bedroom, in her bed and her husband would now kill me. I couldn't even defend myself. My arms weren't working for some reason. Mike must have tied me up. I was a dead man. 'Oh, damn!' This couldn't get any worse. I was naked! Bare as the day I was born. It would be worse than death. Pain, lots of pain would be involved. I was sure of it. I was getting sick. My stomach was now being churned by the brother of the little man inside my head. A bowl, a white bowl. Mike sat me on the white bowl. He held tightly to my shoulder with one hand and held a large blue plastic bucket in front of my face with the other hand. I simultaneously exploded at both ends. Damn, but I hurt. I think I would rather Mike beat on me. I doubled over in pain and continued to heave. I woke up in Maggie's bed again. She was sitting in an easy chair, reading a magazine. "Maggie, I'm sorry." "That's quite alright, Boss. How do you feel?" "Like hell. What happened" "Well, I guess you were in pretty bad shape when you got to Bear's. You just staggered behind the bar, got a bottle and killed about half of it in one go. Then you started saying some very unkind things about Janice. They couldn't make too much sense out of what you were saying, and then...." "Janice! Oh, damn! Damn her to hell!" I rolled to my side, curled up and started crying my eyes out. It all came rushing back to me, flooding my mind with words and images of things I couldn't stand. Things I didn't want to remember. Things that couldn't happen but they did. Images of her on her back. Him sliding in and out of her. Her moaning "Fuck me." over and over. Remembrance of the sexy, squishy sounds still assaulted my ears as if it were happening right now. Her ass in the air, him behind her, slamming into her again and again. Him grunting. Her groaning. The final act of possession, ownership. I tried to blank it all out but it wouldn't go away. At some point, Maggie had moved to the edge of the bed and sat there with her hand on my shoulder. Mike came in, shook his head in sympathy and left. I eventually cried myself out. I continued to lay there and whimper and that finally stopped. Maggie had been looking into my eyes and I guess she saw and understood. I came to terms with it. My eyes hardened and then focused intently into hers. She watched as I reviewed the situation, weighted the facts and came to a decision. It took all of half a minute. She later told me that chills went up and down her spine during that short span of time. "Maggie, where's my clothes?" "Filthy and need to go to the cleaners. You and Mike are close enough to the same size. I have jeans and a T-shirt right here waiting on you. You able to dress yourself?" "You offering to help?" She laughed, "That's the boss I've come to know and love. Thanks for the offer but I draw the line at dressing you. I'll send Mike in if you really need help." "No thanks, Maggie, I'll manage." I did manage, barely. I made it to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Maggie sat a cup of coffee in front of me. She studied me for a minute and then asked, "You feel like you can hold some food on your stomach?" "I'll try something light, if it's convenient for you." "One small bowl of Maggie's very extra special fine home-made beef stew coming up, Boss." "Come on, Maggie, considering all that's happened, can't you call me by my name?" "Nope. You're my boss. That means you get called Boss, or Mr. Carter. You decide." "Okay, you win. By the way, what time is it?" "Suppertime, Boss, here's your stew." The stew was good. So was the small glass of milk that went with it. My body won the fight with my stomach. The food stayed down. The guy stirring my insides went away and three aspirins placated the little guy with the big hammer in my head. We drifted into the living room and I made myself comfortable in one of the large easy chairs. I let Mike pick first so I wouldn't take his favorite chair. Maggie got comfortable on the couch. "Would one of you guys please tell me how big of an ass I made of myself yesterday?" "Well, Boss, you flew through my office mumbling something about a pocket knife and you said you would be back in less than an hour. You didn't come back that afternoon but I didn't worry about you. I just figured you got tied up with some personal business and forgot to check in with me. Then Janice started calling me about three. She seemed really desperate to find you. She called about every fifteen minutes. I got worried and tried to chase you down. "Mike and I got a call about two thirty this morning from some guy named Bear. He wanted us to come down to his bar and pick you up. He had a heck of a time convincing us to come down there. That part of town is dangerous after dark. You were drunk on your ass and totally unconscious. Bear told us you visited several bars before you got to his place. He said you were mumbling something about Janice being nothing but a whore for the bank. I guess you had a lot of nasty things to say about her. Anyhow, he helped us load you into the back seat of your car and Mike drove you here." Sometimes Love is Not Enough "Thanks, guys. I don't know how to thank you. I'm really sorry you got mixed up in my problems. I should have handled things better." "What happened anyhow, if you don't mind telling us?" "I mind but you need to know. I caught Janice in the middle of having sex with another man. She didn't even know I was there. I placed my wedding ring where I was sure she would find it and left." "Damn, Boss, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I have no idea how someone would be able to deal with something like this." "I've already delt with it, Maggie." "Just like that? That quick? How?" "Well, I got stinking ass drunk and I've had a good cry. All that's left now is the aftermath. That shouldn't amount to too much." "I don't understand. How can it be over that quick? How can you stop loving someone that easy?" "I do still love her but my marriage is over. Look, I have a philosophy of sorts. I've always thought if I were to walk in on something like that and she was being raped, the son-of-a-bitch wouldn't leave the room alive. However, if he was there at her invitation, then I would flip him a quarter and tell him to go get a good piece when he was done with her. I forgot about the quarter but I did remember to leave my wedding ring. I've done all that needs to be done." Mike had sat there long enough without saying anything but he had to ask, "Damn, Jim, don't you want revenge? Shouldn't they be made to pay for their betrayal?" "To what end, Mike? I'm not going to jail just because she decided she doesn't love me any more. Why should I carry the guilt of harming someone over something as simple as a piece of ass for the rest of my life? That's all it was, two consenting adults, trying to have a good time. They haven't harmed me physically, so why should I harm them? They'll probably destroy themselves sooner or later anyway." "Well, you're certainly being awful cold about it." "Maggie, I'm going to go see my boss in a little bit and then I'll get a motel room somewhere. I won't be at work next week. Just pile the important stuff on my desk and I'll deal with it when I get back." "You're welcome to stay here if you want. We've got a spare bedroom and you won't be any trouble." "Thanks for the offer Maggie but I have some things to work out. I think I need to be alone for awhile." I got up and left. They tried to convince me to stay but I wanted to be alone. Maggie said she would take my suit to the cleaners Monday morning and hang it in my office when she picked it up. They were super good people and I wasn't about to impose on them any more than I already had. * * * * * I spent a little over two hours with my boss, at his home. I took him up on the offer to move and supervise the large one-year project he offered me a few weeks ago. When we were done, he told me to see the firm lawyer and then take a month off if I wanted. I went to the firm's lawyer after talking with my boss. Janice and I each had our own checking, savings and 401K accounts. We each contributed to the household account and she could have that. In her position, she made more than I did, so her accounts were larger. All I wanted was what was mine and I made that plain to my lawyer. He made arrangements for someone to pick up my work computer, clothes and a few personal items. I refused to see Janice. I'm sure she would have had a lot to say. I didn't have anything to say. I had said it all when I returned my wedding ring to her. Did I still love her? Of course I did. One doesn't fall out of love overnight. Would I ever see her again? I hoped not. The pain would be more than I could bear. Did I hate her? No. I hated what she did to us. I'm sure she had her reasons, but nothing she could say would change what she had done. I filled the tank on the car and left for the cabin. It was owned by one of my college buddies and he said I could use it any time I wanted. He claimed the fishing was excellent there and I was going to find out. Chapter 07 Everyone has his or her own idea of what paradise should be. This was mine. The large one-room cabin looked down on a small lake. There wasn't even a dock to disturb the beauty. A small rowboat was tied to a tree and the simple wooden bench sitting under the tree was actually a lot more comfortable to sit on than it looked. I know, because I had spent a lot of time on that bench, contemplating my life and options. This would be my last night here. The cabin, though crude, had provided the peace and serenity I needed. A well, with an old-fashioned hand-pump, supplied water. A large propane tank provided for cooking and heating. There was no electricity. Two old-time coal oil lamps gave off all the light necessary. The bathroom was nothing more than an out-house, located a good fifty yards behind the cabin. The screened-in front porch looked south across the three hundred-acre lake. Bathing options were not limited. You could use the large galvanized washtub on the back porch, or you could jump in the lake and wash with the turtles and fish. If you wanted a hot bath, you heated water in a bucket on the stove and then dumped it into the tub. The nearest neighbor was three miles away. A ten-mile trip every other day to the closest town kept two large coolers full of ice for milk and meat products. The fishing varied, according to what one liked. Channel cat, bullheads, bass, crappie and sunfish provided hours of entertainment. It was time for me to move on. I had a new life waiting on me a thousand miles away. Maybe there was something or someone, waiting on me there. Chapter 08 It had been a long, hard year. Work, eat and sleep. If it weren't for Maggie and Mike, I don't think I could have made it. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Work just went on and on. The first thing I did was to buy a large gooseneck camper and a Dodge, duel-wheel, four-wheel drive pick-up to pull it. I parked it next to the engineering trailer, hooked into the site power supply and that's where I lived. The second thing I did was to con my boss into convincing Maggie and her husband to join me. Mike had worked in the construction trade all of his life. I talked to the main contractor and had Mike hired on as a crew supervisor. By the end of the first month, he was the shift coordinator for all three shifts. The main contractor was damn glad to have him. The busy work schedule was good for me. It wasn't unusual for someone to pound on my door at two in the morning because of some difficulty that had come up. I would solve their problem and maybe manage to get back to sleep before the day crew arrived at eight. It kept me from thinking about things that I wanted to forget anyway. I hadn't seen or spoken to Janice since that fateful day in the hotel room, a year ago. She had relentlessly tried to see or talk to me for several months afterward but I had steadfastly refused. I wanted nothing to do with her or her explanations. Maggie had presented me with several letters from Janice, over a period of time and I had her return them unopened. Maggie decided that all work and no play made Jimmy a dull boy and an irritable boss. She insisted I accompany her and Mike to a nice restaurant every Saturday night, regardless of the workload. She was partly successful. I did manage to meet and date a couple of nice ladies. However, they were looking for a long-term relationship and I was unwilling to commit. I guess I sorta felt like; once burned, twice shy. My boss had another long term project all lined up. I would take a long vacation, spend a month at the home office to review specifications and then head for the new site. Maggie and Mike were to take a long vacation and then go to the site and start on preliminary work. I would join them as soon as my work at the main office was done. We said goodbye early on a Wednesday morning. I hitched up the trailer, fired the Dodge up and headed for home. Home, that was a joke. There wasn't a home waiting on me any more. I had instructed my lawyer to give it to Janice. She had a lot more invested in it than I did. I took time to do a little sight seeing along the way and pulled up next to the cabin a week later. It wasn't like I left it. My buddy had managed to get electricity to the cabin and he had installed a small bathroom and a shower. Other than that, everything was the same. Well, not quite. He had installed a large refrigerator. That eliminated the trip to town every other day for ice. He worked for a large corporation and was currently in Europe, doing whatever it is a lawyer involved in mergers and acquisitions does. I had the place all to myself. After two weeks, I had endured all the peace and quiet I could stand. The drive from the cabin to the home office wasn't all that much fun. There were too many memories there and not nearly enough water had flowed under the bridge, so to speak, to erase them. I found a small campground not far outside the city, parked the camper and started making my boss happy. Chapter 09 I ended up in the bank a few days later. My salary, which was good to start with, had substantially increased. My living expenses had decreased. The project had come in on time and under budget. To make matters better, I was holding a real nice bonus check as a reward for a job well done. I wasn't the only one with a bonus check. The main contractor had given Mike a nice little check and a hell of a good recommendation for his next employer. I made sure my boss made out a nice check for Maggie as well. She more than deserved it. Standing in line, whether in a bank or any other place, is boring. I was gazing around, wishing I were somewhere else, when I saw Janice come around the corner of a hallway. She stopped dead in her tracks, halfway smiled and made a little wave with her hand. I stared at her and didn't wave back. She started to walk toward me and I slowly shook my head. Her face contorted and she turned around and hurried back the way she came. I guess I should have changed banks a year ago. At the time, there just didn't seem to be any need to do it. Seeing her sure ruined my day. I managed to conclude my business and left, contemplating whether I should change banks. It was late on a Friday night and the ten o'clock news had just finished when I remembered I had a gift to deliver. Five minutes found the package and twenty minutes later; I was pulling up in front of Bear's Bar. Stepping through the door, I had to stop and orient myself. The large bar that used to sit in front of the door had moved about ten paces to the left and it was much larger. Everything had increased in size. The dining area had been moved to the far left. Then the bar, then a very large social area and the whole place was much deeper. I was pleased to see that Bear hadn't increased in size. He was large enough already. He was sitting in his usual place at the far end of the bar. The only thing that really stood out was a very beautiful blonde lady sitting in the number one booth. A young black man was talking intently with her. I walked up and gave Bear my usual greeting. "Hey, Bear, you been behavin yourself?" "Well now, Jim, long time, no see." "Got a little something for you, big guy." I handed him a small gift that was covered with fancy wrapping, including a bright yellow bow. He delicately removed the wrapping, exposing a small bright red box. Inside was a copy of "The Courtship of Miles Standish" by Longfellow. It was a small book, measuring 3.75" by 5.25" and it was only 5/8" thick. It had to have been printed in the early nineteen hundreds. The box, like the book, was in pristine condition. I thought for just a moment Bear was going to get emotional but he steeled himself and mumbled something to the effect that I shouldn't have. It took a while to get caught up. A lot had happened to the bar and a lot had happened in it. I told him about my job for the past year and when he asked about my family, I summed it up in one word, "Divorced." "That's too bad, Jim, anything I can do to help?" "Nah, it's over and done with. I've accepted that and moved on with my life." "Ya can tell me that, but yer eyes say different. Ya still love her, don't cha?" "Yes, damn it, I do, but I can't trust her. Hell, Bear, you know how it is. All the love in the world can't overcome even a moment of mistrust and betrayal. It makes no difference if it was just once, or hundreds of times, the bridge is burned. You can't cross back, Bear, ever." "What about forgiveness, Jim? You know, she asks, you give her another chance and start building again." "Can't do it, Bear, just can't do it." "Can't, er won't?" "Makes no difference, the hurt is too much, the pain goes too deep. I can't get past it." "Again, Jim, can't, er won't?" "I don't know, damn it! I saw her briefly the other day. You know, at a distance. It tore me up inside. I wanted to go over and kiss her and yet at the same time I wanted to beat the hell out of her. What am I going to do, Bear?" "I don't know, buddy. All I can tell ya is to follow your heart. That's where you'll find your answers." The young black guy that had been talking to the blonde in the number one booth got up and left. Bear watched him leave, seemed to consider for a moment, and then turned and asked, "Jim, would you do me, and yourself, a favor? Ya see that blonde lady sitting over there? She's a very good friend of mine. Her name is Gail. Go over, sit down and tell her your story. All of it. Don't leave nothin out. Start with when you first dated Janice, and don't stop till ya get ta where ya walked in here tonight. If she has any questions, answer 'em. Okay?" "Why, Bear? What good will that do?" "It may not do any good a tall. Look, Jim, we been friends fer years. I've never asked ya to do anything fer me in the past. I'm asking ya now, please?" I had to consider for a little bit. Bear seldom asked for anything but when he did it was usually for a very good reason. Besides, I owed this man. He had done me a few favors back in my wild and glorious youth. Okay, fine. I finished the last swallow of my now warm beer, walked over to the booth, sat down and said, "Hello, my name is Jim, and Bear says I gotta talk to you." She closed her laptop, flipped to a new page in a large notebook, and looking at me expectantly, replied, "Hello, Jim, my name is Gail. Please begin." I began with the first time I saw Janice. I told her everything I could think of. The places we went, things we did, wedding, honeymoon, intimate details I had never told anyone else. Married life, love, lust, trust, future plans and goals. I hadn't even started when a fresh beer appeared, as if by magic, in front of me. The only time she spoke was to clarify something I had said. I talked for three hours. By the time I was done, the table was half covered with empty beer bottles. One of the bouncers came over, helped me to my truck and drove me back to my camper. He must have had one of his buddies follow us because he was gone the next morning when I woke up. I had a bit of a hangover, but it was tolerable. Things went pretty slow at work for the next few days. We didn't cover a lot of ground and if we kept this pace, it would be at least two months before I could leave for the new site. I got a call from Bear late Friday afternoon, asking if I could stop by the bar later that night. I checked my social calendar and, finding I didn't have one, agreed to have supper with him at eight. Supper. That brought back memories. One ate breakfast in the morning, right after you got up. You had dinner along about noon and supper was the evening meal. Lunch was something you took to school, or work, in a paper sack and ate during the noon hour. If Bear invited you to dinner, you better show up along about noon. If you waited till six or seven that evening, you were just that many hours too late. Chapter 10 I found Bear on the dining room side of the bar in his own personal booth. I started to needle him about it when I noticed Mrs. Bear sitting on the other side of the table. That changed things immensely, most notably, my behavior. Bear was large, loaded with muscles and the way he carried himself made you respect him. Besides, no one wanted him as an enemy. Mrs. Bear, on the other hand, was medium in height, slender, had dark ebony skin that appeared to be as smooth as fine silk and the face of an angel. You could add to that, a musical voice, a heart warming smile and laughing eyes that danced right into your heart. You respected her because you couldn't make yourself feel any other way. The stunning blonde that Bear made me talk to last weekend soon joined us, accompanied by her husband, Paul. I think her name was Gail. We had a delicious meal of fish and fries, accompanied by a very fine wine. Talk around the table covered many subjects. Bear lost his street dialect and actually talked like the college graduate he was. Normally, he used street-talk and the slang of the area so his customers would feel more at ease. It was amusing when he would unconsciously mix proper English in with street-talk during the course of a conversation. I learned a little bit about Gail. She was a famous author and although I don't read much fiction, I had heard of her. She encourages people to tell her their stories and sometimes uses them in her novels. She is always very careful to change names, dates, locations, and anything else that might identify who the real people actually are. Gail and Paul left, as did Mrs. Bear a few minutes later. That left Bear and I sitting there, staring at each other. The waiter came over and whispered something to Bear. "Well, Jim, I have a confession to make. Janice is waiting in privacy booth number four to talk with you. I apologize for springing this on you. You don't have to talk but I would appreciate it if you would at least listen." "Why, Bear?" "Because, you need to hear what she has to say." "Do you know what she's going to say?" "No, but Gail does. She managed to have supper with Janice the other night." "So?" "So, Gail thinks you need to hear what Janice has to say. I trust Gail's opinion. Look, Jim, Gail and Paul were once where you are now. I personally know their story. They managed to get together and work their differences out. They are totally devoted to each other now. I trust Gail's intuition on these things. Look at it this way, what have you got to loose?" I didn't say another word to Bear. I just got up, went to the bar and ordered a beer. I knew about the privacy booths. They were large, fully inclosed, sat against the wall, had a curtain that closed across the front and if you talked in a reasonable tone of voice, no one else would be likely to hear what you were saying. The waiters didn't even bother you. There was a call switch on the wall. If you wanted something, you turned the switch on and someone would show up. The local pimps liked these booths. They were large enough to seat eight. They could go in there with their working girls to settle up after a night on the streets. More than one gang war had been prevented because the leaders, at Bear's insistence, had sat down in one of these booths and worked their problems out. Chapter 11 I slipped through the curtain and slid into the right side of the horseshoe shaped booth. A very good-looking Janice was sitting opposite from me. She certainly didn't look like she was suffering very much. I looked into her eyes and they were saying volumes before she opened her mouth to speak. Determination ... uncertainty ... and fear? Yes, just a touch of fear. "Hello, Jim, you're looking well." Silence. "Thank you for seeing me." Silence. "Please ... Jim ... I'm sorry." Determination, uncertainty and fear had disappeared. All I could see now was regret. She scooted out of the booth and had started to open the curtain when I spoke.