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Something We Have to Talk About

By: nici



I'm going to try my hand at writing a cheating wife story. I've read some fairly nice stories. But, in too many cheating wife stories I have read, the female characters seemed to either have a full blown narcissistic personality disorder, a histrionic personality disorder or they're so weak and spineless that I can only wonder how they could ever exist in the real world. They can't. They can only exist in the fantasies of testosterone overdosed, teenaged minds. 

Cheating is not that uncommon. I do not even closely believe that 99% of people who cheat are so wacko, so abnormal. Where are those stories, stories about real people dealing and coping with real problems, in real ways? 

I'm writing this story, putting emphasis on creating a couple where each is as emotionally strong as the other is. A real-life couple, who interact with each other along logical lines of subjective chance. Cheating and adultery is about passion, love, anger and hate. Cheating and adultery is about conflict, conflict between partners where one is pushing for change and the other not. Events must happen where change is inevitable, conclusive and consequential. 

Since I do love tragedies and this is not real life, so no one has to pick up the broken pieces, don't expect any happy endings. Not in this story, for sure. 

Oh! And btw, no sex scenes in my story, so nothing here for you pudding pounders. 

- Why do life-changing events happen when we least expect them, when we feel comfortable, when we feel relaxed, and when we feel most secure? Why do our plans never workout, as they should? Maybe successfully, but never exactly as we planned. Why does that which does happen always happen differently, against our expectations? Have you ever noticed this?- 

Jonathan Freemont had just got home from working his eight-hour shift plus an overtime of another four hours. Jonathan worked as a diesel mechanic for the Caterpillar dealership in town. Jonathan wasn't a foreman, but Jonathan was one of their top mechanics. Jonathan was happy not being a foreman. He didn't want to be a foreman. He wanted to be doing exactly the job he did. 

Things had been running hot and heavy with fire crews out on 4 different and major forest fires, plus who knew how many smaller burns popping up all over the place. Equipment had been breaking down everywhere, and Jonathan was needed almost day and night. 

Ever since mid-July Jonathan had been working overtime and it was now getting near time for the children to start back to school, also, the end of August. Jonathan was getting up early, and getting home late, been doing so the whole summer, weekdays, and weekends. 

Not that Jonathan was complaining. Jonathan was happy with all the overtime he was receiving. Jonathan was always happy working overtime. Overtime meant money and Jonathan needed money because of the expensive four bedroom two and a half bath, two car garage ranch house, located in a very good neighborhood, and on a large plot, that Jonathan and Susan had bought two years ago. Cindy, Joey and Nancy weren't little any more. They needed their own rooms and their own space. 

With all the fires burning out of control Jonathan was bringing home some very nice paychecks. Jonathan was tired, bone tired, but happy. The money was needed.

Jonathan was happy, no proud, about being able to buy the expensive house. Jonathan felt good knowing he was a good provider for his family. Jonathan loved his family and was proud of all of them. If anyone had asked, Jonathan would have told them, he had the best wife and best children that anyone could have. 

Not that they didn't have their problems too. They had them. No different than other couples. Nothing serious though. Only little things like Susan carrying a little too much weight after having the three little ones, Jonathan getting too much of a beer gut on him, Susan complaining about Jonathan never wanting to go to those couple's parties friends and neighbors had planned, but rather stay at home or go fishing. Neither would have said that their sex life was great. Jonathan would have wanted more fucking, maybe a little wilder sex with less lovemaking. Susan would have said she wanted more lovemaking, foreplay and attention from Jonathan. Well, those kinds of problems, just little problems that got on one's nerves, but never were big enough to fight about. Jonathan was content, and so did Susan seem to be. 

When Jonathan walked into the house everything seemed too quite. Normally Jonathan would have at least been greeted by the sound of three children playing. They shouldn't have been in bed yet, still too early. They couldn't be over at the neighbors playing, for that it was, even for summer, too late. Jonathan wondered for a moment if he had forgotten something. Had Susan told him they were going to be staying overnight with someone, like their grandparents? Obviously, they weren't in the house. 

Susan was though. Susan was sitting off in the far corner of the dining room table, hands folded together on the table top staring at Jonathan with a pensive, nervous, sad and contemplative, studious look on her face. For a moment Jonathan thought she looked like she had been crying. Her eyes seemed red. 

"Jonathan, there's something we have to talk about," were her first words as she dropped her gaze from Jonathan down to her hands.

Jonathan felt his stomach lurch and flutter. The look on Susan's face was one he had only seen but once before. Susan had sat there on that very same spot and said those very same words, the day she told him that his father had died suddenly of a heart attack. 

Remembering, Jonathan felt his knees go weak. He pulled one of the oak chairs out and sat down across the table from Susan, not able to say anything. He could only look questioningly at Susan, but Susan's eyes were avoiding his. Susan was contemplating, thinking, a far away look in her eyes. Jonathan could feel Susan's desire not to say, not to speak. He could feel that Susan wanted to be anywhere but where she was. Susan wanted, but did not want, this conversation. Butterflies were battling in his stomach. 

Studying her still folded hands, not looking at Jonathan, Susan spoke, her tone sad almost mournful, "Jonathan, you know I love you. You know I love you more than any man in the world. You know you mean the world to me, don't you? " 

Jonathan swallowed hard, his mouth dry, too dry to speak, "Yes." 

Susan raised her eyes to Jonathan, studying, searching his face for more of an answer than just that one simple word, "You need to believe that now more than ever before Jonathan. I need to tell you about some things that make this very important. You need to know how much I truly do love you. How important you are to me. How important we are for each other. You have to believe in us. You just have to, no matter how you feel afterwards. No matter how much you feel hurt. This is important now, more than ever before. I truly do love you." Susan's voice was quaking, those last words spoken, each as if they were single sentences. 

Now Jonathan had cold sweat dripping down his back. His hands were beginning to shake; he could not believe his own thoughts. Anticipation and Susan words, mood and facial expression, the whole atmosphere had Jonathan's mind racing to a thousand different conclusions. He could not force the memories of his father's death out of his mind, out of his awareness and feelings. They pervaded his entire being. Intuitively, Jonathan knew that this was one of those moments that change everything. Whatever Susan wanted to tell him; life would never be the same, afterwards. 

For moments, time standing still, Susan sat contemplating Jonathan, but still her eyes would not meet his questioning, puzzled stares. Only in thought did they stare blankly at Jonathan. Only the clock ticking on the wall broke the silence in the room. You could almost hear the house creaking in the quiet stillness. 

Then like the snapping crack of bullets shot from a gun, breaking the silence. Her words rambling and rolling, some times soft and barely audible, some times hard, loud, almost violent with passion, her voice quaky, her lips quivering neither less. "I'm not only afraid of you hearing this from someone else and not understanding, I need to tell you this for myself. For my own peace of mind, I can't go on like this anymore. I've carried this with me too long. For over a year now I've wanted to tell you. I can't, I just can't hold it in any longer, keeping it from you. It's not right. It hurts hiding it, and is making it feel all wrong. It shouldn't be that way. This is too important, too precious a time for me. We've discussed this over and over now, too long. We've decided to tell you. There's no other way." 

"If I don't tell you, and don't explain, there's no way that you would or could understand. If you would find out, hear this from someone else. You could only think badly. You would react foolishly and only hurt yourself and me, hurt us, you and I. I don't want you misunderstanding. You need to understand."

"We need to discuss this openly and honestly so that you can understand. I can only hope, no pray, that you will love me enough to be able to understand. If you don't I don't know. I just don't know. I guess I just need to trust and have faith in you and in your love for me. I have to be consequential. There is no other way." She sighed and her shoulders drop in resignation of whatever would come. 

Yet, for moments only the ticking of the clock could be heard. Susan did not continue, but only stared contemplatively her hands. Her shoulders still bowed in resignation. 

Once, twice, three times Susan raised her head, opening her mouth to speak, but then dropped her head and spoke no words. 

Finally, painstakingly, as if each word had to be torn from her, "Jonathan, this last year I've been seeing someone... a man." 

Her eyes were now staring, boring into Jonathan's, not only awaiting his reaction, but also daring, challenging, combative and defensive. She was now ready to defend her adultery, openly and honestly before Jonathan. Her first baby steps had been taken, now she could no longer hide. 

"Jonathan, he's a very nice, kind, caring, understanding, man that has been hurt very badly and needs my love, attention and care. The year before I met him, he lost his wife in an accident. She died when their car overturned on the highway. He was driving and even though it wasn't his fault, he blamed himself terribly. He was suffering from heavy suicidal depressions. Even now, after all this time, and all my love and care, he still is depressed at times." 

Jonathan felt dizzy. Had he heard her correctly? She was cheating on him? She had cuckolded and made a fool of him? He felt like he had just been knocked numb by a single punch and was so out of it that he couldn't even feel the pain. 

The saliva in his mouth now turned into gummy sludge; still not fathoming the full depth of Susan's words completely, "You're telling me that for the last year you have been cheating on me? You have been running around fucking some other guy? You're telling me that you've thrown away our marriage and our marriage vows just to get some strange? You're telling me that you don't care enough about the kids or me; you just want to have your thrills, your fun and excitement? "

Susan's eyes flared burning, her face hard and harsh, and her voice rising, shaking in anger, "Jonathan! Shame on you! Do you think so little of me? Do you love me so little that you think I am some slut, a nymphomaniac, a harlot and whore walking the streets? Right now I'm so ashamed of you, to think that you could care and love me so little. Right now I am so disappointed. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in you before. How could you ever think something like that of me, you own wife and mother of your children? You're supposed to love, honor and cherish me. Those were our wedding vows Jonathan!" Susan snapped those last two sentences out. Intending each word as a slap in Jonathans face.

Than she stop, her face turning to one side, attempting to calm herself and matters. Nothing was said for a while. 

Then in Susan's eyes were the emotions of love and consideration to be seen. A small sigh of remembered joy and passion pasted her lips, "Believe me, he's not a bad man Jonathan. This isn't something like you're thinking, like you're worried about. This isn't about just sex. This isn't about cheating or lying, running around uncaringly fucking. This isn't about being immoral or amoral. This is about love and caring for someone deeply. This is about me helping and giving someone something of myself that that someone needs very badly, something that he can't do without. This is about receiving something in return that is very precious to me, something that I can hold in my heart and memories when I old, ugly and gray. Something for when no one cares, loves, wants or needs me anymore." 

"Yes, there is sex and the sex is good." A smile crossed her lips, her eyes grew distant, "And something the sex is even great. But, it's not about sex. It's about love. It's about being loving and attentive to the needs and desires of those you love. That is why the sex is so good, so great." 

Jonathan's body buckled in his seat, his stomach cramping from the massive blow. His awareness only centered on that one thought. Susan loved this man. She was going to leave him for this man. He was losing her to him. That was the reasoning behind this whole talk. Had she already packed her bags? Or maybe she had packed Jonathan's?

With tears forming in his eyes, bent forwards in pain so far he could barely look into Susan's eyes, "You love him?" That was all his body, his voice, allowed his mind expression. 

Seeing the pain articulated in his body actions, the thoughts in his eyes, Susan understood. This was the very reason she had taken this agonizing course of action upon herself. Thinking, knowing that Jonathan would, no could only misunderstand, and think wrongly, respond wrongly.

Yet still, Susan answered honestly and proudly, "Yes, I do love him. I love him very much. He is very important to me. He means a lot to me." 

Then in the most tender, gentle and caring voice she could muster, "But I love you too. I've never stopped loving you, and I never want or will stop loving you. I just love you both. Each one of you differently, for different reasons." 

Looking forcefully and deeply into Jonathan's eyes, wanting, needing him to understand, she continued, "I'm never going to leave you for him, or anyone else, Jonathan. Please never think that. You are my husband, the father of my children and the love of my life, my soul mate."

Then with a sorrowful sigh, looking out the window into the nameless infinite beyond, "Some day I know that it will be over between him and I. He is too young for me ever to consider as a partner. In time he will grow past his need for me and find someone who will become his soul mate and partner. Then I will step aside, only cherishing our memories." 

Gasping for breath, now finally rage forming, building up within him, "Who is he? Where is this son of a bitch?" Jonathan stood up out of his chair, pacing the open area between the kitchen and the dining room. 

Her eyes and face cold, ever so cold, severe and insensitive, "Jonathan, who he is, is none of your concern or business. What we two do, how we make love or when we make love, what we do together, is none of your business. That is between only him and me. You are not a part of what happens between us. What happens between us is only about him and I. You are not a part of that, just the same as he is not a part of our life together. Never again ask me such questions. I will not answer you." 

Jonathan slammed his fist against the wall, the plasterboard cracking underneath his fist. "How in the fucking hell could you ever think that I would accept such as situation? Are you fucking crazy? Do you seriously expect me to willingly share you with this asshole?"

On her cold, severe and insensitive facial expression now grew a mocking smile, "What are you going to do Jonathan? Divorce me? I don't think so Jonathan. Do you know what a divorce would mean for you Jonathan?" 

"Maybe you should check out your options with a lawyer before you go spouting off any more stupidity. This is a no fault divorce state Jonathan. He is a divorce lawyer, so we know very well the outcome. We've talked this part out completely. If you divorce me now Jonathan, I will be taking you to the cleaners. I will protect my children and me, first and foremost. Your welfare will not be a concern of mine. You would be paying me not only child support; you would be paying me alimony, the court costs, my car payment and this house. Not even with the amount of overtime you have been making lately would you be able to afford anything but a cardboard box to live in. You'd be sleeping in your car or at work and eating spam and macaroni and cheese for at least the next ten to twelve years."

Her expression than softening some, yet still remaining formidable, her body leaning aggressively forward off of the back of her chair and over the table, "Have you given the children any thought? How do they fit into your plans? Do you know how our divorce would affect them? Have you considered what effect your relationship with them would have, you not being here for them?"

Leaning back into her chair, crossing her arms and laying her hands onto her upper arms, the mocking smile returning to her lips, "No Jonathan, divorce is not an option." 

Taken back and realizing how bitterly Susan had stacked the deck against him, Jonathan needed, felt completely the need to at least gain point against Susan, "What if I were to cheat on you? How would you feel about that? That would be fair wouldn't it?" With an angry smirk on his face, "You know, what's good for the goose is good for the gander." 

Angry flames glaring at Jonathan she answered quickly, too quickly to have not already thought that option through. "Don't be so stupid Jonathan. Take a long look at yourself. You're not eighteen and young any more. You're balding on top. Your belly is starting to hang over your belt. You're a middle aged married man with three children and a wife to support. Who would even consider having an affair, or even a one-night-stand with a man like you? Women our age want sincerity, comfort, compassion and security or they want erotic, sensuality, interesting men who can seduce them towards passions they have never known before. None of these can you provide. No again Jonathan. If you go out chasing skirts in bars and embarrass and shame me for being your wife, I will divorce you." 

For long moments both of them stayed only angrily staring at each other. It was then Susan's eyes that first broke their battle stance. Her eyes then breaking from his, as her head turned again towards the window, and out into contemplative infinity. Time slowly ebbed away in silence. Only the ticking of the clock and Jonathan's heavy erratic breathing could be heard. 

Quietly, slowly her attention turned back to Jonathan, her eyes no longer cold and harsh, but rather soft, tender and loving. Jonathan for a moment was taken back. His eyes, his emotions forced to change because of hers. "Jonathan, this doesn't have to be this way. My love for you hasn't changed any. I am still your loving wife, just like I always was. He hasn't taken anything from you. Not a single thing. I'm still here for you, and I always will be."

She continued on, "If you love me enough. What is between him and me should not change our love for each other. Maybe even with time our love can grow stronger and better because of all this. Everything that happens now between us is up to you. I am still open to you. I'm still here for you. I'm trying not to burn any bridges between us. I'm even trying to open new and old ones back up."


Something We Have to Talk About Ch. 02



Something We Have to Talk About by NICI , RealDoc's Sequel

This is my first attempt in Literotica so please be gentle in your comments. Constructive feed back is welcome. There is no sex in this story. I explore a difficult situation between two strong willed person but with an unexpected end. Marital discord always hurts many. 

You may notice the deliberate change from the observer viewpoint that Nici used to the first person.. This sequel picks up immediately after the Nici's first chapter. Please read her story first as this will make no sense otherwise. I have tried to be true to the personalities that NICI portrayed. How well I did this is really only NICI's call. 

The next morning Jonathan eased off the couch , bleary eyed and with the mother of all hangovers. Although Jonathan drank regularly and daily, he had not been sot drunk in many years. He stumbled to the bathroom, touching the walls as he went to keep from falling. He emptied his full bladder then felt nauseated, kneeled at the urine filled commode and vomited more. Finally, he pulled himself up disrobed and half fell into the shower. The warm water and shampoo felt good. His head throbbed but his mind cleared a little as he turned on the cool water. He wanted to wash yesterday down the drain. Stepping out, he grabbed a towel and went methodically about drying his still throbbing head. 

He looked into the mirror and for the first time, he really didn't like what he saw. She WAS right. Who would want him...even with her wedding vows, he could see he how he would not be an attractive male partner. He groaned in self depreciation, recognizing he had let himself become someone he didn't want to be. Balding, beer bellied, a heavy growth of black stubble covering his face, bleary eyed, his red eyes staring back at him like coals of fire, burning into his soul. He felt himself ugly. He turned away from his tarnished self image to finish drying. He looked at his massive upper body, muscled and very strong. His thick arms showed the effects of hard manual labor. His hands were calloused and thick from his heavy mechanics work. He stretched and dressed in jeans and a jean jacket.

He sat on their bed, holding his head in his massive hands, squeezing his temples to find relief from the pounding headache. The house was eerily quiet. Empty of sounds , people and love. Emptiness surrounded him. He felt like the time when as a small child he got lost on grandpa's 400 acre farm. 

He cried just like he did when he was 5 years old, lost and alone with night time overtaking him. Jonathan was also scared just as he had been when he was physically lost. He could find no loving parents and grandparents searching and rescuing him. This time he was truly lost because "home" was lost, not Jonathan. Susan was his home. She was gone...lost to him, hiding in the secrecy of her adultery.

Images of her spreading her legs and coaxing a blond stud to her dripping pussy flashed through his head. He could hear her moans of pleasure as another mans cock filled her stretched vagina. He daydreamed seeing her well hung stud lift her hips to penetrate her. In his imagination, he could hear her urging this son of a bitch to deeper and faster sexual fulfillment. He groaned in his soul. Was he supposed to love her doing this? 

His anger began to rise as the pain of his plight overwhelmed him. He wanted to fight back, that's how he defended himself in his youth. But he just could not see himself physically hurting the only woman he ever loved. How could she fuck another man and ask him to love her for doing it. Not just having done it, but continuing to do it. She was giving another man first priority in her life. She had cordoned off her secret life, preventing him from entering or even knowing of the details. How could she split her life into two parts with each separate from the other. How could she ever imagine him accepting and even encouraging her adultery 'so I can be happy'? Did not he have feelings to. He had his pride, even though she had trampled on it. Surely it wasn't his ego that made him hate being cuckolded. He slammed his fists into the mattress . He grabbed a pillow and beat it to a pulp. That's how he felt about the bastard that was fucking his wife and with his life, marriage and family. 

Arising, he walked gingerly to the kitchen to make a 'double strong' pot of high test coffee. This was Susan's job but she had fled back to her anonymous lover. She was most likely making coffee for him after a night of snuggling and wild sex.

Taking the first cup almost chugging it down with two aspirin, he poured a second cup and returned to the bed room again. He sat on the bed again, sucking the black wake up liquid. He looked around. Interesting that all Susan's clothes and cosmetics, even her tooth brush was still here. Her closet was full of the familiar dresses and scarves and shoes. She seemingly took nothing except for a small clutch bag. He wondered if it contained only her birth control pills . He hoped she remembered to take them. Probably it had her wallet, tissue and a sexy thong he had never seen. 

His mind began to clear as the caffeine took over from the left overs of the alcoholic binge. He had to come up with a plan for the day. He could not count on Susan to help with anything anymore. Not even the children. He didn't trust her judgment about anything. Where to start?? He had to have a plan to survive this assault on his manhood and marriage.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going". Seems he heard that President Nixon had said that. Well he was going to be tough. He may be ugly but he was tough and the situation called for real toughness and a deep reach down into his soul, all the way down to his family of origin who still resided there in his memory. His grandfather was his idol now that his dad had died. His mother was a source of strength and wisdom also. This tragedy could not be born alone. The strong always seek guidance and help from trusted family and his family was strong just as he was. 

Jonathan was an only son of an only son and the ties that bind were iron clad. He thought how he had been taught that family's must stick together. Susan had forgotten that, He was taught that blood runs deeper than water. Oddly, he thought, those "blood" ties never really included Susan. She had her family that he also really enjoyed and respected , but blood was thicker than water and it was to his own family he was going. 

He headed for his sturdy old Ford 250 double cab pickup. Passing through the kitchen, he saw the empty whiskey bottle that destroyed his ability to think clearly the night before. He opened the fridge for some orange juice but found only beer cans staring at him. Suddenly, a light came on in his head. He knew that alcohol was a part of his problem. He cursed audibly although only his own ears heard his angry outburst. He picked up the empty whiskey bottle and threw it into the garbage can. Then methodically and with a grim stressed tight smile on his face, he opened and emptied each beer can into the sink, throwing each into the garbage before attacking the next inviting can. Soon the garbage can was full of cold empty beer cans. The lower portion of the fridge was empty. He closed the door, said a little prayer as he closed it. One aspect of his life was forever closed. He vowed to never touch alcohol again. Never again was ANYTHING going to rule his life. Susan was not going to dominate him anymore. He was a strong man physically and vowed to regain his emotional strength. He had to be up to the challenge his wife had put to him the night before. 

He strode confidently toward his truck. Putting his hands into his pocket he remembered he had left the keys in the kitchen. Returning to the kitchen he rubbed his face and felt the hard stubble. Another light came on in his mind. He was not going to be the man he saw in the mirror earlier this morning. With a determined stride he turned to the bathroom. Back in the bathroom he sprayed deodorant into the air that reeked of vomit. He grabbed his shave cream applying a liberal amount he whisked it and the stubble off , rinsing it down the drain. He patted on the cool after shave. The light stinging and cold felt refreshing. Then he brushed his teeth with a vengeance then carefully followed this with a liberal amount of mouth wash. He vowed it would not remain undisturbed under the sink anymore. He smiled into the mirror, he wasn't as ugly now as he was a few minutes ago His beer belly had to go, and soon.

Another light came on in his head. Yep, he had got lazy and out of condition. His doctor had told him months ago to start a walking program. That was when he had to have stitches in his hand from a crush injury which happened at work. Jonathan had ignored that advice at the time but now the doctors admonition sounded loud and clear in Jonathan's ears and mind. He vowed to heed good advice from whatever source it came from now on.

He called his grandad as he did every week. He had a habit of visiting him at least every other weekend taking his three kids to visit his grandad. Grandad loved Jonathans children but had little to say about Susan. Susan never went with Jonathan to visit either his grandad or his mother. This particular phone call was on a week day which was definitely unusual. His grandad answered noting that the call was unusual in timing. Jonathan acknowledged that and told his grandad that he really needed his advice on a matter of great concern to Jonathan. His grandad invited him over right away.

Jonathan then called his mom. Jonathan told his mother that he needed her and wanted her to go with him to see his grandad ,her father. Jonathan's mother and father in law were close. She asked Jonathan to pick her up. She would be ready in 10 minutes. They all knew some serious matters were to be discussed.

He unplugged the coffee maker, locked the house and slipped behind the wheel of his sturdy Ford 250 diesel extended cab pick up. The familiar deep guttural sounds of the diesel as it coughed to life seemed comforting. Not everything in life had changed yesterday. He loved the sound and smell of diesel. It was his livelihood and nobody knew more about how they worked than he did. As he pulled out of the driveway, he looked at the fine house his hours and hours of hard labor with a lot of over time had afforded him and his family. Then he felt the loss of his wife, perhaps due to his absence at home from working so much. Had he driven her into a lovers arms by spending his time making money and not paying attention to her. She never appeared to be a 'high maintenance" woman. Had he let her down? 

Jonathan was convinced that, it was SHE who had crossed that line this time. SHE had sought out forbidden fruits. Her craving for happiness had gone to far. She had crossed the forbidden bridge in marriage and wasn't coming back. She had given herself, her love, her wifely affection and her body to another man.

As he drove toward his mom's house, he pondered how much to tell his mom and grandad. He decided to tell it all. Tell it the way he had experienced and heard it. Let the chips fall where they may. It was Susan's deception and secrecy that had caused all this. He would not repeat that error with his family of origin. Only by confession and the total truth could they help him. He would hide nothing from them. He saw how different he was from Susan on this point. Susan was hiding her life from him.

He picked up his mom at his childhood home where she continued to live. The same house Jonathans had grown up in. He helped his mom up into the super cab as he had done many times. His strong arms hardly felt her weight. Their conversation was light. Jonathan had already told his mother he wanted both her and grandad to listen at the same time so there would be no doubt about what the other heard or said.

The 20 minute drive to Grandad's was easy. His old truck knew the way by heart. Arriving, they were welcomed in by this frail old man with the warm smile, eye to eye contact and his trade mark firm handshake. 

Mom came once a week to fill his pill box, doing his food shopping and take grandad where ever he needed to go. Mom was his means of transportation since grandma died and then Jonathan's dad's death several years ago now. Mom was not Grandad's biologic child but they were closer as father and daughter than most real children. Jonathan felt that he was truly with his family again. His wife, his home may be gone but his roots were still deep and secure. 

Mom knew accounting backwards an forwards, learned it from his dad. She and his dad had long term loyal friends in this town dating back decades.

Grandpa was a retired farmer with friends in this part of the world for 70 years. He was pressing in on 80 and still going strong. He was well respected and admired. He took a slew of heart medicines but that was about all.

Jonathan asked them to sit around the kitchen table over a cup of coffee. They each pulled a straight back wood chair to the table. It was covered by a blue light weight table cloth, one of grandma's favorites granddad just couldn't throw out.

Jonathan took a huge breath, looked both square in the eyes and said.

Chapter Two

"OK here it goes. Please just hear me out before asking questions. This is the hardest thing I ever did other than live through last night. It is a thousand time harder than thinking about dying in Iraq after I was shot."

His mother shuddered and twisted her hands. " Jonathan" she said. "tell us you don't have cancer."

He didn't' reply.

Jonathan narrated to them everything that had happened. Exactly what Susan had said. Her words were burned into his mind and soul. How she had attacked him. How she demeaned him. How she had threatened him with financial ruin using her lawyer lover's advice. How she thought she had him pinned to the wall legally about divorce. He told them of his anger and disbelief. He told them of attacking her verbally and saying terrible things about her. He told them the words he used and then told them he was terribly wrong to say those things but he was just so angry he couldn't control his tongue. He had been taught better and now felt guilty for disobeying his upbringing. He apologized to both of them. He told of her leaving home. Then of his drunken night and how ashamed he is of himself for doing that. He placed his hand on the family Bible in the center of the table and vowed to never touch alcohol again. He promised them and apologized for his drinking and asked for their forgiveness. He told them of his slothfulness about his beer gut and the pain he had for his inattention to Susan's needs. When he was done telling them he pushed back from the table a little and said, "OK, family conference time".

No one said anything. Jonathan looked at each of them, each was lost in deep thought. Each digesting what they had heard. Had they heard him?

Jonathan continued, "I'm a working man, I can't support two households. I can't live without my children. If she takes them away from me, that will just kill me. I can't let her go on with her adultery either. I feel powerless and helpless. My great body strength and my powerful arms won't get me out of this terrible mess. I need your help as never before, you just have to help me" 

He bowed his head and held his head with his huge work toughened hands. "Grandad, I'm a man, you can understand what I'm going through. Susan is giving her body to another man who she says she loves. I cant tolerate that. This is killing me inside"

Mom spoke first, "Jonathan, where are the kids now?"

"At her parents place, they don't know anything about what happened or about Susan's adultery. They have been there all day yesterday and will be there all day today"

"OK Jonathan, mom stated emphatically yet softly, "call her parents now and ask them to keep the kids for the rest of the week and through the weekend. Don't say why yet"

Jonathan got up and called them using the old style wall phone in granddad's kitchen. He just told them that he and Susan were having a very special weekend and needed for them to keep their grand kids for a while longer" They readily and happily agreed. They were experienced at taking loving care of the children. Jonathan thanked them for their help. He meant it, They were good.

Granddad spoke next, "Jonathan, you know I love you." Jonathan tightened as he knew he was going to receive some hard but loving advice.

"Jonathan, you drink way to much"

"Granddad, I fully agree with you but this is now a part of my past which, with God's help, will be truly a part of my past." Jonathan recalled, out loud, the recent events of this morning. He told of looking at and smelling the whiskey bottle, of the battle in his mind and heart to just continue drinking and how, somehow, deep within himself he had thrown the bottle away and vowed never to take another drink. He reminded them both of his recent vow taken on the family Bible to change. Already, the thought and smell of alcohol was repugnant to him.

Jonathan went on to tell them of seeing himself in the mirror and the horror of seeing himself as a big time loser. He told them of his actions to clean himself up FOREVER. He recalled his battlefield experience of near death and then the year of rehab it took. He was daily reminded by his limp of his close call with death. He told them that he could not have survived or recovered without a lot of expert help and their strong and unwavering support.

He reminded them that he had done everything all his therapists had told him to do. His recovery was the result. 

Now he needed help of another kind and would do all he could do to regain his life and sustain his recovery. He knew there would be an emotional limp to remind him through out his life, but right now, he needed to just survive. 

Mom asked him about his job and suggested he take a whole week off, not just today.

Jonathan got up again, going again to the old wall dial phone that grandad had refused to change out and dialed his boss. His boss was not sympathetic to an urgent request for leave as the dealership was already behind. Jonathan simply said "boss, you either give me a week off or send me my terminal paycheck. The choice is yours." Jonathan got the week off, how be it grudgingly. Grandad and mom took careful note of the conversation and looked at each other, sharing a small smile as they shared information that Jonathan was not privy to.

Jonathan sat down again after bringing the coffee to the table for refills. Sitting again, he looked at each in turn. 

He smiled, \"You see, each of you has made a suggestion and I took immediate action. What next."

Granddad began next, "Son, I have friends all around town. Let me pull in a few 'chits' . Don't ask who, what, when nor where ok". He continued "I have friends in the lawyer business. I want you to call Sherrie ...I forget her married name, but this is her number." He gave Jonathan a phone number from his old well used rolodex on the table. If she cant help you, she will know who in her law firm can. And don't worry about the costs," he grinned, "she owes me and has promised to help me anyway she can. She will be happy to help you for me, believe me". 

Jonathan got up, walking to the telephone again and dialed the number. A brief conversation and Jonathan had an appointment for late that afternoon. Returning to the table he stated that he hoped the lawyer was divorce lawyer because he wanted to check out independently what Susan had told him about his lack of options. 

Granddad said he thought she was but wasn't sure. He then said. "Jonathan, this is a very high stress time for you. You can be impetuous, so this is the time to play a good game of poker. Do not show your hand to Susan. Be civil to her. Don't antagonize her. Don't hurt her physically. Don't go looking for her lover. Don't talk about all this to anyone else until you hear from Sherrie or your mom or me. You need concerned but disinterested third parties gathering information for you. Don't get involved in this yourself. For God's sake keep your cool and play it close to your vest. Jonathan, do you hear me loud and clear? Tell me you will do this our way".




Something We Have to Talk About Ch. 02



Jonathan cleared his throat and looked at his loving grandfather. "you know how hard that is going to be for me, don't you?"

"Yes" he replied. "that's why it's important because your emotions will give you bad advice at the wrong time, just as Susan's has given her terrible devastating advice that she acted out on".

Mom chimed in, "my turn now. Jonathan, do you know all about your personal finances. You have never asked me for help, you know. Is she draining you financially? If she cheats like you say she has, she is capable of cheating you financially. Mind you, I'm not saying she has, but people who cheat in one part of their lives frequently cheat in other parts."

"To tell you the truth, mom, Susan handles all the checking and paying bills and I don't even look at stuff like that. I have always trusted her implicitly...up to now."

Mom continues "Jonathan, today you must go to the bank, this very afternoon, and take care of business. Don't worry about hurting Susan's feelings on this. Just do it. You don't have to tell her yet, but protect yourself financially. I'm going to write out everything you need to do. But first, get on that horn again and call your bank and talk to the branch manager to meet with you this afternoon and don't take 'I can see you tomorrow' from him or her". Mom got a paper and pen and started to write out a list of things for Jonathan as he got up to go to the phone yet again. Her accounting background came into useful play for Jonathan.

"Granddad, where is your phone book," Jonathan inquired. The phone book was produced from a small stand under the phone. Jonathan looked up his branch bank and spoke to the manager. He got an appointment for early that afternoon.

Jonathan returned to the table to pick up the paper Mom had written on. He and his mother went over each item in detail. Granddad listened intently, smiling as he and his 'daughter' began to find ways to help his beloved grandson. Jonathan now had a clear idea of what he had to do at the bank, everything from 401k's to credit cards to automatic with-drawls to getting copies of everything for his mom to review. 

Jonathan began to feel better and more in control.

A wave of heavy emotion came over Jonathan. He slumped in his chair again holding his head in both hands. "I feel so alone, even with you all here", he sighed.

"I cant believe that my life partner is suddenly my opponent, I love her and want her back. I'll do anything except be cut out of her private life and be a cuckolded wimp husband. Those I cannot be". Jonathan hit his right hand fisted into his left hand with a loud pop. Then he did it again. He grimaced as grandad reminded him. "Jonathan, when your old like me, you will be glad you controlled your temper at a really hard time like this. Remember you are made of good stuff. Make your dad proud of you. Be a man and bide your time. Timing is everything. In this kind of situation, hear me my son, timing is everything."

Granddad continued," Now I think we have covered just about everything that needs to be covered for the day" He stood and moved away from the table and took his daughter's hand and reached for Jonathan's as Jonathan stood up, pushing his chair carefully back. Standing in a circle, Grandad said. We always ended a family time together with a prayer, this is no time to make exceptions. We all need wisdom and discernment and patience. We all love Susan. We hate what she has done but she is 'grafted in' family. We cannot abandon our love and concern for her, our precious children and this sturdy family" With that he prayed. Then he said, "I have phone calls to make, arrangements to make, friends to talk to and business to attend to". 

Granddad called his daughter to meet privately with him on the back porch. Jonathan was invited to wait for his mom in his truck. Mom soon came out of the house and Jonathan helped her up into his big truck once again.

Back in his trustworthy Ford diesel, Jonathan felt some relief. His mother sat quietly, looking straight ahead, a concerned yet placid look on her face. Jonathan glanced at her and thought she had changed little over the years. The hardest and deepest lines on her face had appeared when her soul mate, Jonathan's father, had died unexpectedly a few years ago. She looked over at Jonathan as they dismounted the big truck and headed into her house. "Jonathan, remember your granddad's advice. Be civil. Control your well earned anger. Play it close to your chest. Don't discuss anything with anyone except us and your lawyer. Don't even tell your banker why you want to do what your going to do. It's no concern of his and rumors need not be floating around the community. And remember, timing is everything. This to shall pass and we shall emerge on the other side with our personal integrity intact and a sure future as a family. Do not be discouraged. Be strong and silent. Be the man your dad and I grew you up to be" With that she disappeared in side her house.

Jonathan was hungry, a good juicy hamburger...no two of them went down easily as he sat in his truck pondering his life's turn of events.

Entering the bank, he withdrew the paper full of notes and memos he and his mother had prepared for this meeting with the branch manager. Sitting across the small mahogany desk, Jonathan began.

"I want to close my joint account and reopen another under my name only. Please get your assistant to prepare the papers now. This must be accomplished this afternoon." The banker smiled and asked why he would want to do this. Jonathan returned his smile. "it really is none of your business why, is it?" "

I was just wondering" replied the banker. He motioned for his assistant to come in.

Jonathan smiled a stiff smile and suggested the assistant get on with the paper work. 

Chapter Three

"Next, I want our joint saving s account split 50/50. Get the paper work started for that. Make separate accounts for me only and put the half in it". He sat quietly as the banker spoke with an assistant.

"Next, I want all automatic withdrawals to be stopped as of today." "Notify the mortgage company for me, along with the credit card companies . I know this may take a few minutes of your time but I am depending on you to do this for me. I will pay you well for your time. Just get it done ASAP and I will sign the paper work immediately. You must recognize and act as I consider these things to be of an urgent nature." He consulted his mom's notes again.

"Next, I want you to get copies of my bank statements and checks and have these for me not later than Monday. This is Friday so I know it will take time but I must have these not later that Monday afternoon, I'm counting on your to do this. I don't want excuses, just get it done. I will pay you what ever the cost is and will be forever grateful".

The banker stared at Jonathan, "This is going to take time Mr. Richards,"

"Then you better get with it as time is everything is it not? Let's not waste it as we sit here". 

Jonathan asked to use the telephone. Digging into his wallet he retrieved his credit cards and called to cancel both of them. The American Express said he would receive a new card on a new account by Monday by overnight express. The other credit card would take up to two weeks. Jonathan was glad to have paid the fee to American Express to have such rapid service.

Jonathan rose to leave just as the assistant gave him a stack of papers to sign and a new temporary check book. These were quickly signed, she explained to Jonathan what each meant, but Jonathans mind was somewhere else. He was thinking of his wife and where she might be and what she might be up to and with whom. The final paper was power of attorney for the branch manager to act on his behalf in handling the 401k.

Looking at his watch, he noted that he must get to the lawyers office without delay.

Again his trustworthy Ford diesel rumbled to life. How he loved the feeling of raw power and the deep rumble. He was glad he had put performance mufflers on the truck years ago.

Chapter Three

In the lawyers office he was ushered into a small conference room, very nicely appointed in conservative woods and plush carpet, the coffee pot steamed and invited him to partake. He decided to await for an invitation but his nose told him the coffee was fresh and high quality. The receptionist departed with a friendly wiggle of her but and a smile, stating the Mrs. Sherrie Pincher, with whom he had this appointment would be in shortly.

As she entered, Jonathan scrutinized her rapidly. medium height, almost his mothers age, graying hair, at least C sized busts, not an ounce over weight and conservatively dressed in a deep gray business suit and light blue blouse with a white lacy collar. She appeared to be all business. Her smile and her warm firm handshake gave him confidence.

She started. "Well Mr. Richards, would you like to have some coffee?"

Jonathan moved to the coffee pot, pouring a cup and offering her the first cup which she took. Jonathan took the second Styrofoam cup full and stirred a little sugar in it. She took hers black.

"Have a seat please and may I call you Jonathan?" 

He sat and stirred his coffee and took a sip then replied "yes of course, and how should I address you , counselor?"

She sat opposite him with a yellow note pad and cell phone on the table.

"You may call me anything, Jonathan, but I prefer to be called Sherrie".

"Sherrie it is then. I want to tell you why I'm here and let you help me figure out how to get myself out of a mess my wife has me in...or at least to tell me what the law says and what my options are."

"Jonathan", she spoke softly, "your family and my family go back several generations. Your grandad has just told me quite a lot but I want to hear it straight from you to. That comes in a minute. First, be assured whatever you tell me is confidential and will never be discussed with anyone else. She emphasized the "anyone". That includes all your family including your wife. Second, I keep no secrets from you. Anything anyone tells me about your situation, I will relay to you. Communication between the whole world and me concerning you is absolutely one way. I listen, I tell you. I tell them I must tell you and if they don't agree then they don't tell me and I tell you that. Nothing goes outside this room that concerns your situation. Is this clear?"

Jonathan nodded agreement. 

"OK Jonathan, let me tell you I handle a lot of divorces, separations and negotiations surrounding these unfortunate events. Divorce is a lose-lose situation. My clients always lose less than the other party. Now tell me in your own words anything you want to."

"Sherrie, I want you to know I love my wife. I always have. I think I always will. More than anything I believe. We are both strong willed people but up until yesterday, 'a day that will go down in infamy' we had always worked out our differences. We have three precious grade school age children. They are at my wife's parents house and are safe and happy. I am on good terms with my wife's parents. I want my family back. More than anything I want my family back home with my wife as my 100% full time, exclusive lover and our precious children's mother. I want my children protected and to grow up happy with two loving parents who love and respect each other. Meaning Susan and me. At this point I just can vision how that is going to happen. "

Sherrie sat quietly taking notes.

"I want to tell you everything I can about the last 24 hours. Believe me, I had no clue as to any problems before yesterday. Those clues may have been there but I didn't' see them. Maybe I should have been more careful to look for signs of infidelity but I couldn't imagine her doing what she ways she has done or is doing. I don't think she has a clue as to the devastating effects this has had on me and how my mom and granddad are suffering also. It is destroying my once happy marriage and our wonderful home and family. I am filled with anger, emptiness and grief".

With that, Jonathan told his lawyer everything, starting with Susan's announcement, the fight, his drunken night, her leaving him again, his recovery, his meeting with his parents, their advice and his meeting with his banker. He clenched his powerful hands in despair as he told his lawyer about Susan's taunting him and advising him of his "legal rights". He stammered, his strong voice quivering as he looked at this stalwart of the law, the agent of the court system.

Jonathan concluded "Sherrie, I need your advice, I need your help. God knows I need anything anyone can help me with. Be assured of several things, I will not physically harm Susan, I was capable of that last night but not any more. She is my love, she is home to me. He emphasized 'home'. My marriage, my family, my manhood, my home all are under attack. Next I will not in anyway be happy about my wife's new happiness. In fact I cannot tolerate it. I will not be a cuckolded husband." He sank back into his plush leather chair, feeling nervous and defeated. 

Sherrie was busy making notes.

She looked at Jonathan in his slumped condition. She saw the despair in his eyes and demeanor. She had been this route before, just not with a wife who was proud of her infidelity.

"Jonathan", she started in a hopeful tone "first, do not do anything to harm your wife or her lover. To do this would hurt your ultimate cause possibly beyond emotional or legal repair. We do not have enough information upon which to professionally advise you yet. We need a lot more information about her lover and their activities. Since she will not tell you, we have to get this legally but in another way. I work closely with a reputable private investigator. Please give me permission to contact him now. Is that ok with you?"

"Yes, how much are we talking about, money wise that is?"

Sherrie replied. "It really wont break your bank account. Be assured of that. But timing is everything and right now, time is of the essence before anything else goes wrong."

Jonathan thought to himself, why is it that I keep hearing everyone tell me that 'timing is everything'. How could anything go more wrong? He knew about deadlines and schedules but this thing of timing was different. 

He asked Sherrie "I keep hearing that timing is everything, what the hell is that all about?" 

Sherrie was on the phone talking to someone and she motioned for Jonathan to be quiet. Sherrie had stood up and turned her back on Jonathan with one hand over her left ear and the phone jammed into the other. Finally she turned around, clicked the phone off and sat down again.

"I'm sorry Jonathan, the battery is weak and I was having a hard time hearing. He was having a hard time hearing also. I was speaking to my PI. His name is George Town. No not Georgetown in Virginia. Turns out he cannot take my case with you."

She smiled broadly, "Seems your grandad and his father are very close friends and, in fact, your grandad paid for George's college education. Your grandad would not accept repayment, saying the money was a gift, not a loan. Seems that George boy has a special interest in helping you as a result. He wont be working for me, but will be working with me. Again, everything he finds will be shared with me and with you 100% and with no one else, including your family. He is very good and knows how to get all sorts of information and it be all done legally." 

Sherrie continued "If at all possible, I want you to get Susan's confession, that is her statement of last night, and your disagreement with her activities on tape. Get her to repeat it on tape This can be done legally without her knowledge. You have to record it in your home, with you participating and her giving the information under no duress or threat. That is, it must be done freely. What you record in your own domicile can be admitted in court. The recording must have dates and times on it. I suggest you talk to George about this. He is an expert in these areas of information gathering. Here is his card. There were various phone numbers on it. He is expecting to speak with you directly this evening. Next, Jonathan, much of what Susan said about divorce, is indeed true. If you divorce she is going to get primary custody of the children unless we can show evidence of child abuse or endangerment. Adultery by a wife does not make her lose primary legal control of her children. You will not lose everything financially, only what has been earned since you got married. Inheritances and any business you may have a financial interest in is yours to keep. Everything else, after taxes and loan repayment, is cut in some proportion. Usually the wife gets 50 or 60 percent and you must pay child support and likely alimony until she remarries. 

Now there is interesting twist to all this that I'll just mention, if Susan is getting legal advice from her lover, and her lover is acting both as her legal counsel and lover, we may be able to get him disbarred from law practice. If that is going on it is very unethical and the Bar looks with intense disfavor on a lawyer being sexually and romantically involved with a client. Another consideration is that if you divorce because of an adultress relationship between Susan and him, you might be able to sue him for lose of companionship etc.. this gets complicated and we shouldn't get into that now"

Jonathan listened, but he was thinking about where his wife was and what she was doing in her secret happiness.

"Sherrie", Jonathan spoke with a tired voice, "it has been a long difficult day for me. Thank you for your time and expert professional advice. You have all my personal information on the forms the receptionist had me fill out. Do I call you or do you call me and when?"

"Jonathan," she spoke with a kind but firm tone in her most professional yet reassuring voice, " let me remind you, in parting. Do not get involved in hunting this bastard down. Just don't go that route. Let George do it for you. He is the expert. Let me handle the legal stuff. I will start divorce papers immediately including settlement figures, but we won't serve them or let them out of my office. It is much better to be over prepared in a timely fashion, which leads me back to your question which I never answered. When we say 'timing is everything' well it really isn't' everything, just very important. Events in the political, business world and the world of interpersonal communications need to be carefully orchestrated so that the timing of events is in the proper sequence with the proper amount of time in between the individual events so that reactions can be judged and subsequent alternatives, if needed, are implemented. Getting one thing before another can prove disastrous. For you in your situation, it is critical that we control the events not Susan and her lover. Right now you are behind but with all your family's good advice, my counsel and George's information, we will soon be caught up and perhaps even far ahead of them. That will put you back in reasonable control so that the anticipated outcome will be more to your liking. Many unknowns are yet to be uncovered. We can expect the unexpected but you have had great family advice. Your grandfather, your deceased father and your mother didn't get the highest reputations in this community by acting out their emotions or avoiding sound advice. I strongly urge you to follow in their very large footprints. I will call you as soon as I have any further information and by Tuesday at the latest. I wish you well and promise to stand with you."

Chapter Four

With that the encounter ended. The office was already closed so Sherrie let him out and locked up behind him.

Jonathan drove slowly home, trying to sort out the happenings of the day.




Something We Have to Talk About Ch. 02



At home, he noted there were no messages on the phone. The light was not blinking. He was both relieved and concerned. He called hiss and inquired about his children. His mother in law answered cheerfully and thanked them for letting the children stay their last weekend before schools started. She asked how Susan was. Jonathan only said that they were having a very special weekend and that both of them had been away from home. He told them nothing as he had been advised.

Jonathan stretched and looked at his floppy 40 pounds of beer blubber. He changed shoes and headed out for a brisk walk in the warm late summer evening. Walking briskly he soon became short winded. Surely he was not this far out of shape. His body was hard as steel but his endurance was seriously impaired. He vowed to correct that by exercise and staying off beer and chips and the couch at night. 

Arriving back at home he noted the phone light was blinking. Taking the call, it was Susan. She said she would not be home for a while, not stating how long. She made no mention of the children or even about him. The message was short, terse and to the point. He sucked in a great breath and wandered around the empty house, looking for release without tearing up everything. 

He remembered to call George. He had forgotten to do that earlier. He hoped George was available. On the third ring George answered his cell phone. They arranged to meet that evening at Jonathans house. Jonathan called his mom. She was well. He told her of visiting the bank and the lawyers. He told her he had gotten everything done at the bank but would have to sign more papers the first of the week but the accounts were closed and his money was safe in accounts with only his name on them. She congratulated him and asked him to search his house and Susan's things for anything of a financial nature like unknown credit cards or lines of credit, especially any previously unknown lines of credit on his house. Jonathan never knew such was even possible but he would search anyway. Jonathan then called his grandad thanking him for getting in touch with George who was to arrive shortly. He heard his grandad chuckle his signature chuckle and told him to take George's advice on everything and to let George do all the leg work. He again reminded Jonathan to stay calm. Grandad said he had had a full day also and surprisingly had seen Jonathan's truck both at the lawyers office and the bank. Granddad hung up before Jonathan could ask him why the both of them were at the lawyers and the bank 

The door bell rang and rang again as Jonathan hurried to the front door. There stood a late middle age small wiry graying man, not over 5 foot 4 and hardly a 125 pounds. Dressed casually but neatly, he introduced himself as George Town, the private investigator. George showed his identification with out being asked.

He was invited in. There being no coffee and no beer, Jonathan apologized and offered water. They both had a large glass of cold water with ice from the filtered refrigerator water. George asked for a walk around of the house and property. Jonathan showed him everything from garbage cans to ceiling door to the attic. George took notes and drew little pictures. Outside was a repeat, Jonathan wondered why he would want such a thorough inspection but complied willingly with out questions. Jonathan enjoyed George's slight but definite English accent.

When the tours was complete they sat at the dining room table. Jonathan answered as many questions as he could. No, he didn't know who the bastard was. Allegedly he was a lawyer whose wife had been killed several years ago in an auto accident. George's eyes brightened and a smile crept to his lips, this followed by a scowl.

George commented, "I think I know this person of interest."

The accident was well known to the law enforcement community but foul play had never been proved yet was suspected. The young lawyer had received an eight figure amount of insurance money. This naturally got the attention of the insurance company. George had been lead investigator for the insurance company but could not prove murder but there were enough signs to raise all sorts of red flags. Ultimately the claim was paid but the insurance company was not happy.

"Jonathan", George continued, "you don't need to tell me anything else about this man. Tell me if has ever been into your house or on the premises."

"To my knowledge he has not been here but I have been off at work all day every day and Susan is fucking him and spending days and now nights with him so who knows. Susan says he hasn't been here but I can't believe anything she says anymore". Jonathan breathed the last words out with slowly and with sorrow as he knew his trusted wife was no longer his exclusive wife and certainly no longer his trusted wife. He felt the emptiness of the abyss at his loss.

George, being a trained observer commented "I see your great loss, Jonathan. I can do nothing to help you with that but I feel for and with you. Please consider me a new friend. I am going to bug your house with the latest of electronic hardware and software. It will be very inconspicuous. I will give you a bug to wear which you can turn on and off. I want every conversation between you and Susan recorded. Even in your bedroom if you decide to share it with her again. I will do the monitoring and collecting of the data. Don't worry. I'm very good at what I do. Nothing recorded will be shared with anyone except you. If you tell me to share it with Sherrie, then you must sign off on that at a future time. I am going to get you to sign authorization to place the bugs and I want a key to your house. I will sign for it. I have all the necessary papers to make everything legal, although not necessarily admissible in court. Sherrie will advise you on that but what goes on in your house is your business and you have a right to know, legally."

With that, George went out to his car a returned with a box full of electronics. He put two way voice monitors on the phones, and sound in every room in the house including the bathrooms. There were sound and optical monitors at the front door, back door, halls, and both bedrooms. He showed Jonathan how to turn them off but advised him to leave them on as forgetting to rearm them might end up with the loss of important data.

Shaking hands George left with an additional bit of advice. "Let me handle the gathering of evidence and information. I promise you my full time effort until we have everything that is needed. I will keep both you and Sherrie fully and timely informed. If I need for you to do anything I will let you know. Otherwise, please don't take any action. Please don't get in the way and screw this up. You have a very good team organized to help you. You are not alone. I know Susan is not here and that is your life. Things appear to be at there very worse as it seems now but it can get much worse, believe me and you don't want to be part of making that happen. I'll be in touch and you have my numbers. Good night for now."

With that George was gone, as if disappearing into the now darkness of a warm late summer evening. Jonathan heard the Cicadas before going inside again. He searched the fridge for food, finally settling for two bowls of children's cereal.

The house was quiet. The familiar sounds of the children fighting and playing and of Susan humming as she cleaned the kitchen. He missed helping get the children off to bed. Their hugs and kisses on his cheeks seemed a thousand years in the past. He moved into his bedroom. The familiar night lights were on. But no Susan brushing her teeth and chattering about the nothing of particular interest to him. There were no inviting arms in his bed attached to the woman he loved more than life. She was not his. She had not been his for a year but he just hadn't known it until yesterday. He wondered how it could get worse. If she died he could get over it eventually. Right now she was a living nightmare from which there seemed no escape. How could she think he didn't love her. How could she think that I would love her enough to let here be happy in the arms of another man. Who did she think I really was. Had I come across all these years as a wimp. What had changed her? Was it all my fault? How could she live two separate lives? How could she love two men? How could she give all of herself to two different people? Why was she so secret in all this? Was she really mentally ill? He had never heard of such craziness. Was she doing drugs? Did drugs do this kind of thing to a person? He had heard some drugs made people go mad, but that kind of madness was madness all the time. No something else was happening and he could not figure it out. The myriad of other question flooded his mind. 

Jonathan tried to sleep. He kept waking up hoping this terrible nightmare would somehow disappear as the wings of dawn took flight and the first light of dawn appeared. He struggled and toss and turned. He was awake by 6 am yet tired. Surely this was not his reality. He swung his feet to the floor and lumbered to the bathroom. There he went through his early am routine and soon was shitted, shaved, showered and dressed. There was no smell of fresh coffee and no children running around trying to get dressed and finding their clothes still in the dryer.

basket. He was empty, angry, hurt, despondent yet determined to make the best of another lousy day. After a cup of coffee and another bowl of sugar coated minimonsters, he headed for an early am walk. Not much traffic on an early Saturday morning. He walked hard but did a little better than yesterday. As he approached his house, he heard the phone ringing. He ran the last ten yards, pushing the front door open he ran to the telephone. He was just in time. Out of breath he answered. 

"Hi honey. It's me, Susan" Her voice seemed perfectly normal. "I'm coming home for a while this evening. Hope you will be there. We need to talk some more and make our life together happy again. I'll be home about seven but wont stay overnight. I just want to talk with you some more so you will understand me better and we can get on with our lives together. Bye honey, see you tonight". She hung up before he could say anything. 

He was frustrated. She had no concern for his feelings. Life was all about her happiness regardless of others. He wondered, had it always been that way. Had he misread her all these years. Was her happiness the most important thing in her life. He began to look back as he took another cup of hot black mind awakener. Had she dated and married him because it made her feel good. Was love really a one way street for her? Did her having children bring her happiness. Did he forget her needs which forced her to seek happiness in the arms of another man. Was refusing to go to those silly parties really a terrible thing to her? Did she really need more love than he and the children could provide? She was always strong willed and she usually got her way. Had he set her up for this disastrous behavior? He just couldn't accept all the blame. It was obvious she blamed him but she also was attracted to another man that she got something from that I wasn't' giving her. He couldn't remember her asking me for more except for the parties I he wouldn't go to with her. She had everything here. Beautiful house, three precious children, supporting parents ands and a husband who worked hard to provide for her every physical comfort. Even she seemed to enjoy sex with him. Our sex was always good and we cuddled after ward and talked. It seemed to me our lines of communication were open, even if not perfect. Just what was going on? 

The phone rang, it was mom checking in on him. Yes mom I had something to eat. Yes mom I had my morning constitution and a brisk walk. I smiled, strange now that I thought of it but Susan never asked those kind of questions of me. I called Grandad again and he was his usual self. He asked if I was ok and I told him yes. George and I had a good talk as did Sherrie and I and then Mom and me this morning. No, I wasn't doing well but at least it was day time again. The nights were worse. 

Chapter Five

Granddad sighed, "Jonathan, when your dad died a piece of me died with him. He was my only son." He hesitated then continued "then your grandmother died and another big piece of my life died . It's always the quiet lonely nights that get to us. Just hang in, son, God is faithful. You have to believe that or all is lost" We chatted a moment longer and hung up.

Jonathan went for another long walk. Hi stamina was slightly better or at least he thought so.

The day went slowly, yet rapidly. There was lots to do around the house. It was Susan's things he had to do. Grocery shop, wash clothes and dishes, change the sheets. It seemed an endless number of things to do. He missed lunch. He didn't care. Then there was my stuff to do outside. The lawn continued to grow without regard to my condition. The sun gradually feel toward the horizon. The Circadia cranked up as the shadows lengthened. He washed and put on some clean clothes to wait for Susan's expected appearance.

She was right on time. She always was. Without ringing the door bell she popped inside and went straight to the kitchen to fix coffee. She had yet to acknowledge me other than a quick "hi". Jonathan closed the door. 

He volunteered "Hi Susan, I'm glad your home".

From the kitchen she looked at him , smiled and said "I hope it will turn out to good to be home". She turned to wait on the black brew to bubble to life. 

He sat at the table awaiting her. She came in with a cup of coffee for herself only. I got up and poured myself a cup and came back to the table. He thought, I don't exist anymore in her mind. No greeting, no offer of coffee just wasn't like her.

Jonathan began "Susan, I hope you know I love you very much. You can be very helpful to me now that sometime has passed and I'm under better control, to tell me again what you told me night before last. I want to hear it again so I can try to understand exactly what you said. I promise not to interrupt. Please try to tell me again." He knew the recorder was on and recording every word. Susan had no idea she was going on record.

Susan, took a sip of the black brew and said " OK here we go again. I can't remember exactly everything I said but most of it will come back."

Susan actually almost verbatim repeated the terrible things Jonathan heard the first time. It wasn't much easier listening the second time but he knew it was being recorded. He clenched his fists again and again as he gritted his teeth and controlled his outbursts. His body language tattled on his emotions. When she had finished she smiled cautiously saying "Congratulations Jonathan, you did much better. I feel you will come to understand my point of view so we can get o with our lives again".

"Susan I want you to understand where I'm coming from. In fact where I have always stood on this thing we call marriage. I believe infidelity is infidelity by what ever name you call it. The worst part is not the sex , which is bad enough, the worst part is your giving your love to another man. Susan, please give this up of your own free will and come back to your husband and family. Please put an end to your secret life. Please stop hiding from me. Please Susan, please. Your divided life has to end. It doesn't have to end in tragedy but that is where we are heading if you continue. You have two lives that are not compatible with the other. The disaster is coming and is almost here. Hiding one life from the other is not only impossible it is not the answer. Can you not see that your two lives are like the two poles of a battery. If they connect, the battery is ruined. Your two lives are fast approaching their end. You must give up one to save the other. You have a loving husband and loving children in one life. The other is your big secret life filled with fantasy and disaster. There is no ultimate reality in that life. You may be enjoying it now but it will consume you if you keep on this path to destruction. Already it is killing me, your husband. Soon it will destroy your marriage. Who knows but it may destroy your relationship with your parents. Then comes the loss of your children . At that point, your secret fantasy life will have destroyed you to. Please, Susan, come back to the safety of your home and family and husband. I will do everything I can to help you. Already I have sworn off alcohol and started to exercise. I will give you more attention than your lover and I, both of us have combined." Jonathan pleaded with her as she got up from the table as if to leave. His anger flared. He could feel it. 

"Dammit Susan, get your act together. Will you comeback to me or not. You cannot have him and me. I wont permit it. I will find that son of a bitch and will probably go to jail for what I do to him and if your there you better run or get caught in the maelstrom." I tried to control my rising anger. My language was becoming ominous and degrading again. I had promised everyone that I would be civil. I drew a big breath, I rippled my huge muscles in my arms and chest, making my shirt jump and tremble. "Susan, you are not the only one with legal counsel. I consulted a lawyer yesterday. Do you have a lawyer to assist and defend your rights."

"YES" she answered in anger.

"Who is he? Does he have a name?"

"He is my lover, and no I won't tell you his name"

"Does he consider you his client"

"Yes, he told me that I should not have to worry about any legal advice or fees or such as he would help me if and when I should ever need it. He wants you to love me so that he and I can continue and so that you and I can continue as we have this past six months. You didn't know of our relationship and it didn't bother you a bit. Suddenly, now that I told you, you are all out of sorts and angry. Truth should increase love, not destroy it.

I blurted out. "You will not have it both ways, Susan. It wont happen. My lawyer is drawing up divorce papers for me and they will be ready for you soon. I know I have rights to. They are called marriage rights and I will not be cuckolded. Susan, please come back to me. If not tonight at least by Monday."

She rose to leave, "I'm leaving tonight Jonathan, I can't promise to return ever. If we split because you refuse to love me, then you have to leave this house because the children need their mom and the house".

"Susan, who is going to pay the mortgage and utilities. If you keep up this silliness and craziness, I'll just quit my job. You will lose the house to forfeiture and where will you be then? Think about it Susan, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink. You can push me out but you cant squeeze blood out of a turnip and I might just turn into a Mr. Turnip. Talk to your lawyer lover. Your options are limited to. Ask him to marry you and see what he tells you? Lets see how big is his love for you. I committed my life to you. Lets see if he will commit his life to you. Ask him Susan," 

I was yelling. If she wanted him so bad, then by dam lets see if he will have an adultress wife for his own wife. 

I stood up, glaring at her. "Go screw him tonight and while he's pumping his jizm into you, ask him to marry you. Tell him the truth, I'll let you go and you will have your new life full time with him. You wont have your life with me in a secret box anymore, stored away for an old lady's dream. No, Susan, check out your options. See if you and me are history already."

I collapsed onto the couch, as she stood tall and straight. "forgive me Susan, my anger , my anger is killing me. Please go without my blessing and please come back to me full time soon. Be sure to ask him if he will marry you. You need a real man in your life and a real father for your children. Maybe he is the better man for you and them. Please find out and let me know. Goodnight my love"




Something We Have to Talk About



With a deep sorrowful sigh she dropped her eyes from Jonathan back to her hands that were once again clasped resting on the table. "I would hope that if you loved me enough you would understand what this means to me and be happy for me.'

Tears starting to form in her eyes, she looked back to Jonathan's eyes, her eyes, her expression almost questioning, begging. "I don't know what else I can say or tell you. I only thought that your love for me would be strong enough for you to look past your male ego and selfish desires and want the best for me. I'm sorry if you can't do that. I'm very sorry." 

She sobbed, putting a hand in front of her mouth, she jumped from her chair, running from the dining room and down the hall towards the bedroom. The door behind her, closed with a slam. 

Jonathan stiffly walked over into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Jim Beam from out of one of the cabinets. Before moving back into the dining room he tipped the full bottle up and drank letting the liqueur flow down his throat in three than a final four heavy gulps. 

Sitting back on that same chair he had before, he stared for a moment back at the corner and the chair Susan had been sitting in. Lifting the open bottle once again he toasted, "Here's to my loving wife, here's to my fucking, loving, adulterous slut-wife." Then with the bottle pressed to his lips, he allowed another 3 heavy gulps of whiskey to slide down his throat. 

Jonathan normally never got angry drunk, but this night wasn't normal was it? The more Jonathan drank, the angrier and more depressed Jonathan seemed to be getting. Normal quiet Jonathan was also getting to be very verbal. Angry depressive thoughts and alcohol was allowing Jonathan to not only become very verbal, he was also becoming very abusive in his language. 

At one point Jonathan got up and staggered bouncing off the walls walking towards the closed bedroom door. Finding it locked he slammed his fist against it, "God damn it Susan! You're not only fucking others. You're locking me out of my own goddamn bedroom. I can't even be a man in my own house anymore. You fucking turned me into a cuckold and wimp that isn't allowed to sleep in his own goddamn fucking bedroom anymore. What's next? You going to fuck him in our own bedroom? Is he going to be sleeping now in my bed, in my place instead of me? Is that your next move? Or has that already happened?" 

Jonathan staggered back into the dinning room, but not before calling out once more the Susan, "You're a goddamn fucking slut Susan. I hope you know that. I never should have married your whore ass." 

About a half an hour later Susan walked back out of the bedroom. She was dressed and had a small overnight case of clothing in one hand. Intending first not to stop, she did though. For moments she looked staring in pity at Jonathan now completely inebriated, his head on the table, the bottle of Jim Beam mostly empty and tipped over in front of him. 

Just before she turned to leave, Jonathan saw her and raised his head for a moment. "Going to your lover slut?" 

Susan did not answer him at first, but turned and walked away, opening the door. "Yes, Jonathan I am going to him tonight. You're so angry and drunk I'm afraid of what you could do. You've said enough cruel things to last me a lifetime. If I hear anymore I'll only learn to hate you. I only pray that tomorrow you'll think differently and that we can talk." 

Jonathan slept for a time to than awake, pulling the bottle once more to his lips. Then he fell back asleep. 

Once during the night he did though wake and felt even halfway sober. He stumbled then into the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, feeling so alone, the full volume and consequences of last evening swept over him. He cried in deep hysterical sobs that did not seem to end. 

Yes, this is how I'm ending my very first cheating wife story. Things don't happen always the way we'd like them to, or how we think they should end. We all are independently thinking people with free choice to act according to our perception of subjective chance. So, things do happen differently, and we either learn to cope, or we don't. Just like with all of us, it's now up to Susan and Jonathan to either cope and find livable solutions to problems or not. But, either way, life goes on, even if, without us. -- Nicole