120 comments/ 112864 views/ 9 favorites Shattered Ch. 02 By: Azpiri AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would like to thank everyone who provided constructive criticism to the first chapter. Again, I apologize for not putting "Chapter One" on the first segment of the story. For those of you who did not wish for me to continue the story, then you do not have to read the second chapter. As always, your comments are welcome, and I encourage you to provide more feedback at the end of this chapter. ***** Towering trees blurred by on either side of the sports car as the happy couple navigated the winding road on a dark summer's night. The evening was perfect for a secret encounter as they were the only people out on the road. The radio gods favored their midnight rendezvous by populating the air waves with love songs. The happy couple laughed at the irony of the late night infomercials played on the radio suggesting that there were hot women staying in, talking on the phones rather than going out and being social. The serenity of the night took away the stress and strain of the daily routines in life. No bills that needed to be paid. No household chores that needed to be done. Nothing mattered except the two people spending time together. The lonely country road fueled the nostalgia and the ability to travel back in time as if they were teenagers all over again. The age of the couple did not figure in to their plans. The towering trees were not the only phallus symbol along this twisting and winding path. The well built specimen of a man had unzipped his jeans and had revealed his thick penis, giving a knowing glance to the woman sitting in the passenger seat. The veins in the man's cock throbbed with excitement as the woman's eyes bulged at the sight. She reached across so that she could grab hold of the hard shaft, mesmerized by how small her hand looked in comparison to the man's member. The mushroom head seemed to call out to her, begging her to kiss it. The man freed a hand from the steering wheel so that he could guide the woman's lips closer and closer. It was clear what he wanted. "We're going too fast," protested the woman. Her words lacked conviction as she was mere inches away from welcoming the man's cock into her mouth. Compulsion grabbed her. She planted a loving kiss on the tip of the cock. As she stared at the object of her desire, she found the words to say, "I don't even do this for my husband." "I'm not your husband," replied the man in a smug tone. ***** The soft tones of the office telephone brought the distraught man back to the present. Normally, the telephone was the bane of his existence while at work. Constant calls about a computer not working properly, or the system going slow, or any other grievance that centered on 'user error' kept his department busy to the point of being irritated and annoyed. The ringing would normally generate groans and smirks; however, the sound of something other than his thoughts and wild imagination was a welcomed relief. The fact that the caller ID showed up as the Switchboard on the phone's LCD display helped temporarily. "Information Technology, this is Steve. How may I help you?" was the programmed response from the IT Director. "Hey," greeted Amber. Her tone quite somber and demure as she questioned, "How are you doing? Are you going to be ok?" How do you think I'm doing? My wife is fucking around on me, and you think I'm going to be ok? His thoughts screamed out, lashing out at the first person that he encountered. However, Steve had enough sense to filter his response, "Oh, I'll be fine. Just..." He paused in an attempt to keep the emotions from surfacing; however, he failed miserably. "... It hurts, but I'll get through it." He paused to regain some sense of composure, but dutifully asked, "What can I do for you, ma'am?" "Steve..." Amber wanted to say so much more, but couldn't find the words. Not without sounding like a greeting card found in some novelty shop. Her heart reached out to him. "Steve, the doctor would like to speak with you about your wife." What? Does he want her cell phone number so he can give her a call once she's recovered in order to have her thank him properly? Again with the cynicism, though not once does his filter allow this to pass through to his mouth. "Oh joy." Steve mimicked the physician in his head. Yes, Steve, your wife has an inflamed larynx caused by having a giant penis stuffed down her throat at the time of the accident. She won't be able to speak ever again. He contemplated whether or not to list that as a pro or a con since she would not be able to nag him any more. "I'll be right there." The early morning hours in the Emergency Department focused on two rooms. Patient care and proper documentation ruled the air. The skeleton crew of nurses attended to not only the needs of the patients, but also the attention of the only physician on duty. Entering orders, typing up nurse's notes, receiving lab results and x-ray reports were common tasks and considered the norm. However, upon Steve's arrival to the ER, the nurses found other duties that were suddenly neglected such as checking and stocking supplies. It was only the physician that turned to face him. "We have stabilized your wife, and we are preparing to have her airlifted to St. Mary's Medical," explained the Indian doctor. Twenty years of marriage, love and devotion was hard to turn off for the hurt husband. Instinct forced him to inquire, "Airlifted? What's wrong? Is she ok?" He looked past the physician towards the occupied trauma room, expecting that his wife was behind the closed curtain. It was with that gaze that he spotted movement from one of the hallways. The night watchman had made his way in a casual manner to the ER, though his intent was clear: monitor the exchange between physician and the 'angry' husband. The physician continued in his heavily accented English, "There was some swelling near the spinal cord, affecting her motor functions. Fortunately, there was sensation in her extremities. She's breathing on her own. She's currently on methylprednisolone and being sent to St. Mary's Medical for surgery, to relieve the swelling and to decompress the spinal cord." Oh, you have got to be shitting me. Steve looked to the ceiling in frustration and aggravation. Do you hate me? Do I look like Job to you? After cursing the heavens, Steve looked the physician in the eye and asked, "Will she be able to walk again?" "We should know more after the surgery. The fact that she's showing signs of sensory perception in her toes is quite promising," answered the physician. Steve spied the other exam room being occupied this evening. The pulled curtain protected the privacy and the identity of its occupant. A glance towards the security guard stopped Steve from doing something reckless and stupid. A feigned smile accompanied Steve's response to the physician. "Thank you, Doctor." The lonesome back corridor of the Emergency Department, generally used for the transitioning of patient care such as moving ER patients to surgery or radiology or admitting ER patients up to med/surg as an in-patient, served as refuge for Steve. Dubbed the "Interstate Corridor" by hospital employees based on its length, the quiet and the long expanse of the hallway provided the IT Director with time to focus his thoughts. With each step, Steve realized that his life resembled the crisis that the hospital faced not an hour ago. The centralized switch failed, causing chaos and disarray throughout the entire hospital. Jill was his 'centralized switch'. In the safety and privacy of the network operations center, his favorite comic book anti-hero would be proud of his technological man-cave. Tucked away in a hidden closet with the spaghetti mess of network cables and twisted pairs used for the telephone circuitry, Steve found sanctity and serenity in the IT fortress of solitude. The green, blue, orange and red LED lights, which belonged to the various pieces of network equipment, had a calming effect similar to that of an illuminated Christmas tree in a darkened family room. Steve plugged his laptop into the radiology network and pulled up the PACS software. HIPAA be damned. I'm simply verifying the integrity of patient data after experiencing a potential for data loss, Steve told himself with a sense of purpose. If my wife was being stabilized for a spinal injury, then it was you who needed the CAT scan, mother fucker. Let's find out exactly who you are. The violation of the governmental regulations hardly registered in Steve's mind as the different screens appeared on his laptop's display. The patient's demographics was the first screen accessed, revealing not only Don Juan's real name, but his address, phone number, and his employer. Unable to curb his technological fetish, Steve scrolled through the numerous images of the CT scan. While he may not have understood what he was seeing, seeing the 'insides' of the man who wrecked his life provided a mild form of catharsis. It humanized his villain. Finally, he accessed the preliminary radiology report to discover that he suffered a mild concussion and would be held overnight at the hospital. While the pain and anguish lingered in the back of his mind, Steve compartmentalized his thoughts. In the confines of his home away from home, the images of his wife's infidelity were pushed to the background. His task at hand revolved around obtaining information about his wife's lover; a task similar to his system audit responsibilities. In his mind, Steve was back at work where he was safe from harm. The sudden ringing of the telephone startled Steve out of his thoughts and processing of information before him. A quick glance to the LCD display caused him to emit a tiny chuckle. "Do you have a GPS tracking system on me or something? How did you know I was here?" Amber's voice and her words touched his heart, "I know you, Steve." There was a pregnant pause before she continued, "Besides, your car is still out in the parking lot. I can see it on the security cam. And since you didn't answer in your office, and you weren't back in ER, I figured this would be the next place that you would be." "Touché, young lady," replied Steve. The mention of the ER brought images of his cheating wife back to the forefront in his mind. His voice cracked as he asked, "Anyway, what's up?" Again, a pregnant pause was noticed before she relinquished, "There is a Gloria here to see you? She said you called her. Should I tell her about –" Steve cut her off almost immediately, "No, I can do that, Amber. Thanks for letting me know she's here. Could you direct her to the cafeteria? I need to pack up in here and then I'll be right there." Gloria was married to "wandering eye" Dan and was their friend and neighbor. During the day, Jill and Gloria would often times have coffee together and would get caught up on their soaps. Since Gloria and Dan did not have children, they would invite Steve and Jill over for dinner. Steve cared very little for Dan's egotistical and materialistic nature; however, Gloria was quite charming even if she fell out of the pages of a salon beauty magazine. Through the store bought California blonde hair and the silicone enhanced breasts, Steve could see the goodness of the woman's heart. The changes she made were out of love and devotion for her husband. Of course, she had to compete with the young, gold digging secretaries. The asshole is so busy with sniffing around other women; he doesn't see what he has in front of him. She's just another trophy to him. He's such a fool. Even with it being nearly 4am, Gloria appeared to have rolled out of bed as if she just walked out of a hair salon. In the dim lighting of the hospital's cafeteria, he could see that her long blonde hair was perfectly straightened, with none of the dark roots showing. Her make-up was subtle, but brought out the beauty of her high cheekbones. Her clothes, while modest, highlighted her Barbie doll curves. "Steve, you sounded so distraught over the phone! Are you all right? Is everything ok?" Her whirlwind of questions paused as she had a minor epiphany, but then she returned to her onslaught of questions. "Jill said that you were at a conference all week. What are you doing home? Did something happen to the boys or to Jill?" During the friendly interrogation, Steve poured himself a cup of coffee with enough creamer and sugar to wonder if it should actually be called a cup of cream with a touch of coffee. When Gloria showed signs of no further questions, Steve exhaled slowly a cleansing breath and then answered in a somber tone, "Jill was in a car accident about an hour to an hour and a half ago. Apparently, there's some swelling around her spinal cord. She's being airlifted to St. Mary's Medical for surgery." Gloria gasped, placing a hand to her chest. Like all men, Steve could not avert his eyes from drifting towards the impressive rack the woman had, especially when she brought attention to her bust with a simple gesture like that. With a concerted effort, he pulled his eyes away and continued, "I think there's some concern about paralysis, but the doctor did mention something about sensation in her toes. He wouldn't commit, though, to a definite answer. I guess we'll know more after the surgery." "What was she doing out that late at night? Were the boys with her?" Gloria found a chair and sat down, overcome with her friend's tragedy. Steve shook his head, "No, they're away at college. Jake decided it would be cool to get a summer job up there, so that he had spending money for when school started. And, Justin had moved out a while ago, now that he's a junior and ready to be a 'man'." As he talked about the boys, a sense of pride overwhelmed him. "I called them to let them know their mother was in an accident." She inquired, "So what happened? Do you know? Did she say anything to you?" Steve took a long sip of his coffee in an effort to curb his tongue. He savored the flavor, calming himself before saying, "I don't know exactly what happened. I haven't seen a police report of the accident, though Jimmy was going to find out for me. And the ER staff was busy stabilizing her that I couldn't get in there to see her." Gloria narrowed her eyes, sensing a bit of half-truths in Steve's response. "Steve, what is it? What's wrong? There's something you're not telling me." With all the pent up emotion built up in his heart, Steve stood up from his chair and began to pace. "Has she said anything to you? Not today, but in the last month or so?" He threw his hands up in the air in a helpless gesture, "About anything? About me? About how I'm spending too much time at work or about me not going to gym with her?" He sighed, pleading for some sense of understanding from his wife's confidant, "Anything?" "Just your typical 'ragging on the husband' nonsense that every wife says about their husband. I'm sure it's the same with you and the guys. How we are total bitches and do nothing but nag, nag, nag," Gloria answer's was tempered with uncertainty and confusion. Steve continued his pacing circuit, looking for some kind of answer or some kind of revelation, "Then what about other men? She's been going to the gym a lot. I mean, she looks fantastic. Does she talk about the guys at the gym?" "Well, she has talked about a few guys, but it was all B.O.B. fodder. I don't think any of it was serious. You know, just like men jacking off to some big breasted actress wearing nothing but a string bikini in some B-movie," explained the good neighbor, though the tone in her voice conveyed that she knew more. "Bob fodder? What the hell is that?" snapped Steve, unable to contain the rage within his heart to lash out at someone for his wife's infidelity. The unexpected burst caused Gloria to recoil. In a defensive tone, she said, "B.O.B. stands for battery operated boyfriend. You know, her vibrator? Steve, don't get so bent out of shape. It's only her vibe. There's nothing to be insecure about. She loves you." "Bullshit!" His voice carried just a little too loudly in the empty cafeteria. Steve took a deep breath in an attempt to regain composure. With a stern look, Steve lashed out, "Bullshit, Gloria. When a guy jacks off to some movie star beauty queen, the likelihood of that guy stumbling into that actress and getting her in his bed is like a million to one. It's never going to happen." He exhales before pursing his lips. His eyes bore holes into his neighbor's trophy wife in an attempt to see her thoughts. "When you fantasize about the next door neighbor or the guy at the gym you see every day, the chances of something happening increases exponentially!" Gloria failed to hold back the whimsical laughter. She did her best to be sympathetic to Steve's outburst as she explained, "Steve, I've seen the way you look at me, or rather my breasts. I'm all right with that. After all, they're store bought and should be appreciated." She attempted a smile to lighten the mood. "So you can't tell me you don't fantasize about me, or some of the nurses that work here? I bet you have a few naughty nurse scenes in your fantasies." Steve's shoulders dropped, succumbing to the frustration, "Ok, yes, I fantasize from time to time. However, you know what? There's a difference between fantasy and reality. I never take fantasy in to the real world. Fantasy is just that, fantasy. Something make-believe and would never happen in real life." Gloria reached out to him, placing her hand upon his forearm and gave a gentle squeeze, "Jill would never do anything like that, Steve. It's all just girl talk." Again, she smiled at him in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Don't you trust her?" Steve broke away from the touch, much like a sailor avoiding the call of the deadly siren, "Not any more!" It was one thing to think the words, but it was another thing to actually say them. When Steve spoke the word aloud, it made them real. The dam broke. Tears filled his eyes as he collapsed into his chair. Defeated, he said, "I caught them. I saw them in my own bed." The revelation took her breath away. She asked softly, "Caught who?" "What can you tell me about Christopher Whitman?" The question sounded like it should be coming from a detective, interrogating a person of interest to a crime. Steve watched Gloria closely for any signs of deceit or recognition. Her eyes widened in shock as Steve mentioned the name. Carefully, she shook her head and did her best to sound unsure, "I don't know who that is, Steve? Is he a friend of yours?" He tilted his head, giving the woman an expectant look that suggested he did not believe her. He clucked his tongue before responding in a challenging manner, "Christopher Whitman works for your husband's trucking company. Do I need to go ask him who he is?" Resigned to her fate, Gloria downturned her eyes and relented, "All right. Chris was a forklift operator at one of my husband's warehouses. With the economy taking a down turn, and Dan needing to eliminate some of the fleet, it meant that hours were being cut at the warehouses. With no trucks to unload, there was no need for forklift operators. Since Dan and Chris were tight, he offered him a job at our house as a handyman." Gloria's cheeks turned rosy red as she continued with her story, "Jill came over the day after you left for your conference and caught us being naughty." She swallowed and subconsciously licked her lips as she visualized the memory. "I was sunbathing topless right in front of him. He so brazenly took out his cock and started stroking it right in front of me and right in our backyard for everyone to see. It was then that Jill walked in, saw what was going, apologized profusely and then ran back to your house, totally embarrassed. Since then, she always called first to make sure it was safe to come over. Plus, she always left for home if Chris came into the room." Shattered Ch. 02 Gloria pleaded while crisscrossing her heart as if she were reciting the childhood rhyme, "I swear to you, that's the truth, Steve." "And she didn't ask about him or talk about him when you had your coffee chats?" probed Steve curiously. It took Gloria a few moments to answer that question, "She would ask about him. Things like 'is he a good kisser?' or 'how does he compare to your husband?', but that's just girl talk. We did refer to him as my boy-toy or my man-slave." In a cold tone that belied his thoughts on a cheating wife, Steve asked, "So is he a good kisser? Is he better than your husband?" Gloria's silence was all he needed to hear. He stood up while she looked down at her hands, unable to look up at him, "She's going to need a friend when she wakes up down there. You might want to be down there when she does." "Aren't you going to be there for her? She'll need you more than ever." Steve simply shook his head and rebutted, "Apparently, I didn't give her what she needed." Gloria strode across the room to close the distance between her and Steve, "Steve, don't think like that. She loves you. This Chris thing was a mistake. She knows that. You can forgive her and get past this, right? Please, don't let this spoil your twenty years together." Steve stopped his exit, turned to face Gloria and said with all the anger and rage that was burning within his heart, "She's being airlifted to have surgery done on her spine because she was giving 'this Chris thing' a fucking blowjob, which is something she never gave me, and he couldn't keep the damn car on the road! If that's love, then she sure has a funny way of showing it!" He scoffs with venom, "And you want me to forgive her? You want me to get past this?" Gloria cowered at the anger, which gave Steve an opportunity to leave the cafeteria. In desperation, Gloria called out, "But she'll need you to take care of her." The only rebuttal to her comment was the door to the cafeteria closing behind Steve. In the silence of the dimly lit cafeteria, Gloria added softly, "Chris isn't that kind of man." ***** The monster that was becoming his nightmare twisted and morphed yet again. From the tryst in the bedroom to the perceived activities in the car, Steve's creative imagination took hold of the events and twisted it into a dark recounting of the tale. Images so vivid and clear were tainted with his insecurities and his self-doubts. The more information he uncovered, the worse the nightmare became. Bits of truth fueled the imagination, as if giving credence to the dark possibilities presented to him in his mind. The nightmare consumed him, engulfing him like some kind of black ooze. As the visions worsened, the black ooze suffocated him and his heart but forced him to endure more visions. Laughter from memories long ago stained the wood used for the backyard patio. If one were to listen carefully, the merriment and laughter could still be heard, lingering on the wind. However, the sentiment shifted from joyous times to mockery and ridicule. The summer breeze chilled the air as if giving the cold shoulder to its intended target. The wooden deck served its purpose well in providing a place for people to have a good time. Four naked bodies were taking up the expanse of the deck. Two men were seated on lounge chairs, which strained to hold the weight of their bodies. Their larger than life cocks were exposed for the world to see. Dan and Chris stroked their monster cocks in the direction of their lustful stares. Jill's half naked body, molded to perfection from the countless hours in the gym, stood before them in only a pair of skimpy bikini bottoms while Gloria stood behind her neighbor. Jill's long brown hair was pulled back so that Gloria could lick and tease one of Jill's erogenous, an area right below the ear. An area, that up until now, only Steve knew about. Gloria's hands cradled and presented Jill's heavy breasts to the men, while her fingers and thumbs tweaked and rolled Jill's sensitive erect nipples. In a sultry, breathless voice, Gloria whispered into Jill's ear, "See how the men enjoy looking at your new body? They like you topless, but they'll love you completely naked." As she spoke the last phrase, Gloria pulled on the bikini strings so that she could remove the final barrier. Jill showed no effort to prevent that total exposure from happening. ***** "No!" Steve felt pressure on his shoulder as he jerked out of his seat, trying to break free from the dark ooze that restrained him and save his wife from the temptations created by his next door neighbors. Unfortunately, he found himself in his office being roused from his sleep. A glance over his shoulder revealed a concerned young switchboard operator, pulling back her hand. His tear stained cheeks were not lost on the woman, causing her to frown. "Amber, I'm sorry. I must have dozed off," Steve said while attempting to straighten out his clothes. Her voice was gentle and tentative, "Steve, you should probably get going. You will want to be there when your wife wakes up after the surgery." He rolled his eyes, turning away from yet another woman telling him to be there for a cheating whore. "I'm not going. I've called the boys, and they'll be there when she wakes up," Steve said out of spite, unable to hold back the bitterness. Amber's frown caused him to stop in his tracks. His eyes were upon her, trying to decipher her body language. He did not have to wait long as she said with sadness, "Steve, I know you are hurting right now. I've been there myself, but this is not the Steve I know. You love your wife. You always talk about her, the vacations that you take together, and the movie dates that you go on." She points to the portrait on the desk that's larger than any of the other photos, "You still have her picture on your desk." "Yea, well, she decided that she wanted someone else to take her on those dates," pouted Steve. Amber continued to talk in a direct, but concerned manner, "You need to fight for her, Steve. You-" Before Amber could utter another word, Steve launched into a verbal assault. He nearly shoved his finger into her face, "I need to fight for her? Well, what about her fighting for me? She should have fought for our relationship, our marriage, our love! She should have fought off the fucking asshole who doesn't care about our marriage. But no, she spread her legs for him without so much as even thinking about the word 'no'. Hell, I was the furthest thing from her mind when she fucked that mother fucker!" Folding her arms across her chest, Amber gave a leveled glance and said, "And you're just going to let that asshole steal her away from you without putting up a fight? A rooster protects the hens in the hen house from weasels, Steve. The rooster doesn't give up once a weasel makes his presence known. They fight until the bitter end. Fight for her. Show her that she made a stupid mistake and almost risked everything." Steve narrowed his eyes at Amber. The hurt from his wife's betrayal mixed with Amber's use of his high school nickname. His silence lingered, though. Amber's voice returned to a more soothing nature as she stepped forward. She placed a hand upon his shoulder so that she could rub his back, "Steve, swallow your pride and be there for your wife." She could feel the tension in his back after she said that, so she quickly added, "I'm not saying let this guy walk all over you. No, I'm just saying that you need to show your wife that you love her in good times and in bad. She'll see you for the man you truly are. You're not going to penalize her for making one mistake after twenty years, are you?" "How do I know it was just this one mistake? How do I know she hasn't been cheating on me for years, and that I was just a fool this entire time? What if she's sleeping around with a bunch of different men, and I was too blind to notice?" Steve melted into the back rub of the young woman. "You ask her. You confront her head on and ask point blank. You have to find out why she did what she did. Maybe there's more to the story than you know?" explained the single mother, who had to deal with a dead beat dad skipping town. Steve looked down to the floor, head hung in shame, "What if I don't want to know the answer to that question?" "You need the closure, Steve. Even if things don't work out between you and your wife, you need to know so that you can understand where things went wrong. That way, if you find the next someone special..." She then offered as an aside, "... and you will..." She then resumed her normal speaking tones, "... you can make sure that history doesn't repeat itself." Silence lingered in the air as Steve contemplated the wisdom of a young woman. Amber just smiled as she knew her words had sunk in that thick skull, "But right now? She needs a supportive husband to get through this traumatic event. She's going to rely on your strength to get through, Steve. Believe me, she knows she failed you. And I'll bet that she does everything she can to make it up to you. Call it remorse or guilt, it doesn't matter. When she sees that you're there, taking care of her and helping her through this hard time, she'll forget about what's his name." She winks playfully, "Besides, the Steve I know would be there for me when I needed him." "But how am I supposed to forget? How am I supposed to see a loving wife when all I can see is a cheating whore spreading her legs for some bastard?" Amber shook her head, not truly knowing an answer to those questions, "I didn't say it was going to be easy. All you can do is try. You have a supportive group of friends around you." She then mumbled under her breath, "Even if one of them is made of plastic, and I just want to take a fork and pop those silly balloons." Steve smiled at the joke, but also picking up a hint of jealousy. "All right, Amber. I'll go talk to her and be there for her, but I'm not going to make any promises. She hurt me to the core. That's not something that I can easily forgive and forget." "No one is asking you to do that, Steve. If they do, then they truly don't understand how badly they hurt you," explained Amber. She paused for a moment to recall a previous conversation she had with her ex before continuing, "It's not just sex. There is something intimate, something private, and something personal about having sex with another person. There's an emotional tie. Yea, for some, that emotion is pure lust, but ..." She simply shrugged her shoulders as her voice faded away; giving the impression that she gave little significance to that side of the argument. Steve gave Amber a hug and said, "Thanks, Amber. I'll call you to let you know how she's doing." Shattered Ch. 03 The thunderous sound of the helicopter roared over the sound of Steve's stereo. The tremors felt, even inside the safety of his car, reminded Steve of his current predicament. Homer wrote of such horrible events such as being stuck between a rock and a hard place, or succumbing to the deadly song of the siren, or even coming home to find that the hero's wife has taken on another suitor. The Odyssey was always his favorite piece of literature in high school; however, he never anticipated that he would have to endure his own brand of mythological torture. Steve waited for the helicopter to leave before putting his car in drive. His eyes followed the helicopter until it was no longer in sight, knowing that it carried the remnants of his past twenty years. The dark skies of the night started to pale and take on color as Steve turned onto the freeway. Once on the road, Steve silenced his radio and returned to his thoughts. He had to regroup and prepare for what awaited him at St. Mary's Medical. Amber is right. I do need closure. I need to find out why she betrayed me after twenty years. But I'll be damned if I'm going to take it easy on the bitch. A one night stand would be hard to overcome, but we could have done it. A one night stand in our marital bed: it would take a fucking miracle for me to forgive that, but miracles are known to happen from time to time. But a prolonged affair that included giving the asshole a blowjob when she denied such favors to me? Hell no! The bitch can go fuck herself. A gentle turn in the road affected Steve's thoughts. Who's going to take care of her, though? If she's left paralyzed from this accident, who's going to be there for her? She is, after all, the mother of your children. The boys are going to need support throughout this, too. You can't just scorch the Earth with her burnt carcass. C'mon, Steve, remember when you left the electronics store fifteen years ago in search of something better? You disrupted your family's life with the move. And for what? In another five years, you wound up coming back home, forcing yet another disruption in their life. But Jill stood by you then. Ok, she raised Caine a couple of times, but she stood by you. She didn't fully understand, but she was there for you. Feeling the wind gust caused by a semi passing his little car, Steve rebutted his own thoughts. Yea, but the move was for the betterment of my family. It's not like I chasing tail or did it simply because it's what I wanted to do. I did it because there was more money at the end of that rainbow. I sure as hell didn't cheat on my wife. I definitely had the opportunities, being surrounded by young nurses, but I didn't. I remembered my vows. Ok, I might not have been the best husband during that time. I might have been married to my job more than I was to my wife, but I did it for the money. The boys required braces or needed new equipment for their different sports they played in. Hell, she needed new clothes every year, or she needed a bigger house. I couldn't do that on a salary set in stone based on an Associate's degree. The change not only gave me a salary increase, but the shifting of organizations gave me a new perspective. And she left me for a fucking forklift operator? How in the hell is that guy going to give her a better life? Ok, he might be twice my size, full of muscle, and apparently, hung like a fucking horse, but how does that matter? There is more to life than what happens between the sheets. Is he going to be there for her now that she can't fucking walk? Or even better yet; is he going to be there for her now that she can't feel a damn thing below the waist? Yea, that asshole is going to move on to the next piece of ass that he can find since she's dead to the world down there. Well, she made her bed so now she has to lie in it. It'll take the parting of the Red Sea for her to convince me otherwise. The theme song to his favorite 80's time traveling movie interrupted his thoughts. His smart phone was a glow, indicating that someone was calling him. The caller ID did not have a picture associated to it, which meant it was not somebody in his contacts. "Hello?" "Heya Rooster!" Steve rolled his eyes and responded with dread in his voice, "What do you want, Jimmy? I'm kind of busy." Laughter could be heard in the background as Jimmy managed to maintain some composure, "Well, I just wanted to know if I could be next. I hear that your wife gives great head." Jimmy and the chorus of male laughter on the other end of the phone did not even realize that Steve hung up on them. Steve pursed his lips together and said resolutely, "Fuck you, you fuck." Between his thoughts and the humiliation, Steve steeled himself and shielded himself from the pain of his broken heart. A determined look materialized in his eye as he turned off the highway. The medical center was no longer his destination. His little car chugged in protest at the sudden change in direction and the change in speed, but Steve had been pushed past his limits. He forced his car to the envelope as well. With phone in hand, Steve called Eric. Skipping with formalities, Steve questioned in a no-nonsense tone of voice, "Eric, do you still have those tools from your cyber defense competition?" Eric's voice was filled with concern and suspicion, though the excitement of using the hacker tools in an unethical manner could not be missed either, "Sure, but why? Or do I want to know?" "It will be best that you don't. Could you have them ready for me in about ten to fifteen minutes?" Steve paused for a moment as ideas continued to formulate in his head. "Oh, and we never had this conversation. This phone call is nothing more than me telling you that I won't be in today, and that you'll need to rebuild the central switch." Eric did not hide his glee, "Right, boss. A thumb drive will be waiting for you in my mailbox. Don't do anything that I would do." During his trek back to his hometown, the sun broke over the horizon and illuminated the countryside. The golden sun hung like a heavenly beacon to his destination, beckoning him to reach his true destination. All of his worries and problems were left behind at the point where he made his U-turn. The only thing that mattered now was the next step. It did not take long for him to acquire the tools necessary for his desired plan of retribution. With the thumb drive in hand, Steve punched in the address of Christopher Whitman to his smart phone's GPS application. The computerized voice of the phone's application reminded him of one of his favorite sci-fi television series, which brought a smile to his face. Engage, he thought to himself as he started driving to the new coordinates. Though Steve tried to remain stoic as he drove to where the computerized voice directed him, but the egresses of the run down trailer park conjured up hurtful images. She would rather fuck some guy who can barely afford to live in an aluminum box than be with me? Hell, that fucking mustang of his is probably worth more than this entire park. He tilted his head to one side as his lips curled with a sinister look. That asshole was probably too cheap to pay for full coverage. His display of driving skills probably meant the end to his muscle car. As the computerized voice indicated that he was arriving at his destination, the smart phone flashed the presence of Wi-Fi networks in the area. Not a single wireless network had a padlock symbol by them, which meant that they were not encrypted. Steve shook his head as he pulled into an abandoned trailer's parking area. He looked up to the ceiling of his car as he thought to himself, Thank you for stupid people. He reached into the backseat of his car to retrieve his laptop, and quickly plugged in the thumb drive that Eric left for him. Screens flashed in front of him as he navigated through the different tools and the different Internet addresses. His eyes flickered from word to word, focused on the task in front of him. The apathetic and indifferent nature of the residents of the trailer park paid little attention to the beat up car, or the fact that the driver did not get out of his car. Silent gratitude came from Steve once again. You're definitely making up for last night. As he hit the enter button to implement this last command on his computer, Steve punched the ceiling repeatedly. Ha! I never thought I'd be so happy with the city's budget cuts than I am right now. Steve navigated the new screens, which belonged to the police department's new information system with a vengeance. They really should have spent the money to get a worthwhile IT Director for the city. Oh well, their frugality is my gain. A few clicks of the keyboard caused yet another smile to form on Steve's face. What was Officer Rickman thinking when he scheduled that? Didn't he know that the car should have just been impounded, not scheduled to be destroyed at the junk yard today at 9am? Steve spoke in his best Spanish-accented English while shaking his finger at the screen, "Jimmy, you have a lot of explaining to do." Steve entwined his fingers together and stretched his hands out forward. The cracking of his knuckles reverberated throughout the interior of his car. Satisfied with his accomplishments on those screens, Steve uttered, "Next!" Steve dug into his laptop's carrying case to retrieve a single sheet of paper, where Steve scribbled all of Christopher Whitman's personal information and demographics. Of course, the street address was necessary for the first part of this voyage; however, more vital information was needed to complete the task. Here phish-y, phish-y, phish-y, Steve called out in his mind. Steve showed little hesitation in typing Christopher Whitman's social security number and all of his other personal financial information into known phishing sites. "One last thing..." mutters Steve, as he pulled up a new web page. Heartland Trucking's web site promoted the small fleet of trucks owned by Daniel Hart, his next door neighbor and husband to Gloria. Let's see if he does web hosting, or if he actually has his web site on his own network. If he does, he's going to be Broken Heartland Trucking. Much to his surprise, the web page for the small trucking company did sit on the perimeter of their network. With a few well placed programs and utilization of unblocked ports in the company's firewall, Steve accessed Dan's place of business. Financial records and employee records were the first items of business; however, the logistical software was his desired designation. Deleting records or altering the cargo's intended destination was only a few examples of the chaos that Steve had planned for the people that screwed with his life. When Steve looked up from the computer screen, the morning sun had shifted to be high overhead. He arched his back and rolled his head, helping to alleviate some of the kinks that come with sitting in an improper position. Physical therapists always rant and rave about ergonomics. Now, I can see why. Steve rubbed his neck as he looked around the trailer park. Steve started up the engine to his car. Get used to your new home, you trailer park whore. After stopping for gas, Steve drove an hour on the highway to St. Mary's Medical Center. After performing his ritual of digital retribution, Steve's mind was at peace. The question lingered as to why the love of his life betrayed him, but it no longer tugged at his heart. No more tears were cried as Steve had buried the past week under the ones and zeros used to destroy the lives of those who ruined his life. The tinted glass windows, the waterfall in the lobby, and other architectural designs indicated wealth and luxury, a polar opposite of the hospital in Steve's small hometown. The use of technology in the visitor's kiosks was only one example of the advances found in the larger facility. Steve could not hide his envy as he navigated his way to where his wife recovered from surgery. I can only imagine what the medical bill is going to be like after this mess, wondered Steve. Steve's mental conversations were interrupted yet again. This time, the nasally sounding voice that grated on his nerves spoke with defiance and hatred, "My sister has been here for over eight hours, and you're just now strolling in? What kind of husband are you?! I'm so happy she's divorcing your sorry ass." Steve raised an eyebrow at this new revelation. Mary, my favorite. Steve rolled his eyes and shoulder bumped his sister-in-law on the way to his wife's room. All the pain, all the drama, all the anguish that Steve endured did not prepare him for the sight that he witnessed at the threshold of the hospital room. Jill's weakened frame gave her a sickly look. Her complexion lacked color and paled in comparison to the light blue hospital gown. The IV inserted into her arm looked like a spaghetti mess, typically seen in his networking closets. Jill was being rebooted. All of the emotion came flooding back. Memories of his first date with his wife, their wedding day, and the honeymoon struck him like a ton of bricks. Memories of all the birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations took his breath away. He felt his heart drop, though; when he noticed that Jill turned her head away from him. She did not want to see him. Softly, Jill spoke, "Don't look at me, Steve. I don't want you to see me like this." Pain and misery permeated each syllable she uttered. Tears trickled down her pale cheeks. Steve wanted to reach out and wipe away those tears, embrace his loving wife to console her, and tell her that everything would be ok. However, his feet were anchored by the events that transpired the night before. He was being torn, yet again. Steve opened his mouth, trying to find the words to say. He was so certain of the verbal assault he wanted to give his cheating wife, but the image before him stole his thunder. He cared for this woman for the past twenty years. His heart could not bring him to barrage her. "Just leave her alone, Steve," spoke that annoying voice from behind. Mary walked past Steve so that she could claim her place by Jill's bedside. "She doesn't need you any more." Steve ignored Mary as he looked towards his weakened wife, "I just want to know why, and then I'll be gone." His words stung Jill. Regret and remorse covered her face as she weakly turned back to her husband. Her eyes expressed the sorrow and sadness that consumed her. She lifted her hand in an attempt to grab hold of her husband, even if he stood several feet away from the bed. However, Mary took Jill's hand and patted the back of her hand in a comforting manner. The interruption in Jill's gesture caused her to look away once again in grief. "You want to know why? Because you're an asshole, Steve. That's why! You're never there for her. You care more about your stupid job than you do for her," explained his sister with venom. "She finally found someone that made her feel alive, that made her feel like a woman again. I'm happy for her. You should just leave her alone so that she can be happy with her new man." Jill turned back to face Steve. It was evident that she did not fully agree with her sister's sentiment. She said in a soft manner, "I did not want you to find out like this. I did not want to hurt you." "You could have said something. We could have gone to counseling," said Steve, sounding quite defeated. "Time for counseling was long overdue. She found the comfort in the arms of a real man, Steve. So why don't you just go back to your computers and let her get on with her life," spat Mary once again. "Mary, stop. Can you give me and Steve a few moments?" Jill pleaded in her weakened state. Mary reluctantly got up from the bedside seat. Her dark eyes bore into Steve, trying to gouge out his eyes and his heart. The temperature of the hospital room went up a degree or two when she finally exited. Jill, once again, reached out for her husband. Steve took a few steps into the room, so that they could share some privacy; however, he refused to take her hand. Jill acknowledged the pained expression of her husband and lowered her hand. "Yes, I should have said something to you. But I was so caught up in the whirlwind. I wish I could explain everything to you, Steve." Steve folded his arms and said with little to no emotion, "Instead of wishing, just do it. I can't read your mind, Jill." "I'm almost forty years old. I've lived half of my life. With the boys all grown, there was nothing left for me in the house. I needed something to fill that void. And with you always working and going on business trips, I got lonely." Steve sighed, shaking his head, "You could have said something to me. You could have gone with me on those business trips. I offered countless times to book you a room. We could have even taken the weekend before or the weekend after those trips to have just 'you and me' time." Jill said dejectedly, "I know, Steve. I know. I guess now, I wish I would have taken you up on those offers." She looked up with despair, "But I don't think we could have afforded it. We'd be in so much debt." "I would much rather go into debt than letting our marriage suffer," countered Steve. Jill closed her eyes. The verbalizing of their dying marriage hurt her. She remained quiet, hoping that when she reopened her eyes, that all of this was some horrible nightmare and it could all be forgotten. Steve's voice interrupted her silent wish, "So what about this Chris fellow? Are you in love with him?" "I don't know," She hoped that her ambiguous answer would appease her husband's curiosity. The stone cold expression from Steve proved to her that such hope was folly. She continued, "He's not you. He pays attention to me. He likes to do things out in the yard. He likes my garden. He shares time with me. He makes me feel like the things I like matter. He compliments me on how I look. He tells me how beautiful I am. He notices when I do my hair." Steve rolled his eyes, "Look, Gloria's boy-toy is going to say all those things and do all those things because he wants to sleep with you." The horror on Jill's face was priceless for Steve when he mentioned the nickname that Gloria used for Chris. However, Jill got defensive. She mustered up the energy to retort, "So are you saying that I'm not beautiful?" Steve's shoulders dropped, "No! I'm not saying that at all. I think you're gorgeous. I thought I said that enough, but obviously I didn't. Look, I'm sorry if I made you feel neglected or ugly or any of those things. You know I loved you. Everything I did, I did for you and the family." Jill looked away, unable to face her husband. In her heart, she knew his words to be true. Without looking back, she asked, "Do you think you can forgive me?" "Forgive? Yes," Steve sighed, trying to find the energy to continue this conversation. "But I can not forget what you have done to me and our marriage. Though, according to Mary, it sounded like you have already given up on our marriage and have filed for divorce." Jill turned back to Steve. She once again lifted her hand to touch her husband. Her eyes pleaded for understanding, "That was Mary's doing. If I could go back in time, I would change everything, Steve. I would! I'm so sorry!" Steve shook his head, "Shoulda, woulda, coulda, Jill. You can't change the past. When I came home early and found you having sex with Chris on our marital bed, my heart and my love for you died. If I could go back in time, I definitely would not have come home early. But I can't change time, and so now, every time I see you or think of you, I see you with him." Steve ground his teeth, "I hear those hateful words that you said. I can't get that out of my head no matter how hard I try." Shattered Ch. 03 Jill sunk into the hospital's pillow at Steve's revelation. She frowned and tried to convey her sincerest apology, "Oh God, no! Steve, no! That was the sex talking. Oh please, you have to understand that I didn't mean that! I didn't waste anything with you. Please believe me!" "I wish I could, Jill. I really do." Steve started to turn back for the door. Jill wanted to jump out of her bed, race over to her husband and cling onto him so that he would not leave. However, the accident prevented her body from doing just that. She clutched onto the railings of the bed and tried to will a miraculous recovery. All she accomplished was the rattling of her IV bag. The helpless feeling consumed her, much in the same way that Steve was helpless on that fateful night when he discovered his wife's infidelity. "I won't fight the divorce, Jill. The boys are grown. There's enough equity in the house for you to live on. I'll move out and find some apartment some where. You can live in happiness with Chris and Gloria and Dan. But I'm going to let you explain to the boys why we're getting divorced." Steve paused at the door of the hospital room. He faced Jill for the last time, "Oh, and silly me. I almost forgot. What's the prognosis? What did the doctor say about your injury?" Jill tried her best to sound upbeat, though the loss of the husband is hard to hide, "He said it was too soon to tell. We should know something in the next couple of days. He did say that it was an incomplete spinal cord injury, and that I should regain the use of my legs in time." The silence in the room carried before Jill spoke again, "I'll be staying with my sister until the doctor thinks it's all right for me to be on my own." Steve nodded his head and found the willpower to leave the room. Her parting words did nothing to ease his suffering, "I'm so sorry, Steve." ***** The town never felt so small until now. What used to feel like home and family had grown cold and uncaring. Buildings that had meaning are just structures made of stone, concrete and wood. Streets that used to lead somewhere full of excitement now are just concrete pavement that connect the lifeless buildings together. Only the fluorescent sign in front of the small school building had any life as it promoted the twenty fifth reunion of the small town's high school. The parking lot was filled with cars of various makes and models, though none quite as expensive as the BMW roadster that Steve drove. His walk towards the side entrance of the school reminded him of times when the members of the football team would give him wedgies or knock books out of his arms, but all of that was in the past. Steve cared very little as he stepped over the sacred turf those football bullies claimed as theirs. People inside the small school were dressed as in a variety of fashions, ranging from the casual to the elegant. Steve could easily tell the family's income level by the choice in dress. The blue collar workers wore jeans and a nice shirt. Mid-managers wore business casual such as khakis, slacks, and a button down shirt. And then there were those in administration, choosing to also go with business casual but wore a sports coat. They wore enough of a casual look, while still looking dignified and commanded respect. Steve looked around the gathering in an attempt to find his wife. His eyes scoured through the dimly lit room. His gaze fell upon a woman that had curled her brown hair in soft ringlets, but wore it up off the neck. She wore just enough make-up to make herself presentable, but not stand out. The dangling earrings drew attention to the soft lobes of her ears, and highlighted the gracefulness of her neck. Seeing her in such regality caused his heart to skip a beat. In that pause, the woman noticed him and started walking towards him with her cane in hand. "Steve, I didn't expect to see you here," she said with a touch of fondness in her voice. Her eyes, though, betrayed her composure. Excitement, hope, and life danced within those eyes. Steve smiled politely, "Well, I didn't expect to be here either. However, sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do." He then paused to give a noticeable once over. "Jill, you look quite lovely this evening. I like what you did with your hair." Jill could not help but blush at the compliment. She raised her hand up to fiddle with a barrette located at the back of her head, "Thank you, Steve. It looks like you've lost some weight?" Steve looked down at himself, opening up his sports coat to reveal a trim waistline, "Well, I got tired of carrying that spare tire around my waist." His smile touched his lips, though the merriment did not quite reach his eyes. "So how are you doing, Jill? How's Chris?" Jill looked down to her feet, absorbing the mental blow of the question. She looked back up with a feigned smile and answered, "Chris left town a few months after we got divorced, Steve. No one was hiring an out of work forklift operator. He said that he would call when he found a job, but I haven't heard from him." "I'm sorry to hear that, Jill. I really am. I remember the way you said he made you feel. You deserved that in your life." Jill sighed, shaking her head, "Don't patronize me, Steve. Go ahead and gloat. Say it." She mimicked, "I told you so." Steve simply shook his head, holding up his hands, "Honestly, Jill. I have moved on. You said that he made you happy, and I was hoping that you were. I'm sorry that he didn't turn out to be the man you wanted him to be." Jill bit her lip while altering her posture in an attempt to view Steve in a different light. She narrowed her brow, trying to decipher his body language and meaning. She asked, "So how are you?" "I'm doing well. I have been offered a position at St. Mary's Medical as Regional IT Director, with the provision of becoming Chief Information Officer after a year. I never thought I'd finally get a chance to be a CIO, but it's only a matter of time now. What about you? How are things in your life?" Jill smiled with sincerity, knowing Steve's dream had finally come to fruition. "Steve, that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. That's what you always wanted." She then shrugged helplessly, "Me? I work at the local library as their chief librarian. It's not much, but it pays the bills." Steve nodded with his own sense of understanding, "Well, you always did have a thing for books. Now you can share your love of books with the community." Jill clucked her tongue, annoyed but not with Steve. She said dejectedly, "Well, we're moving more towards the digital age such as books on mp3s or as downloadable media and internet access. We do have some hard back books, but we're getting less and less. As the town continues to cut our budget, we rely more on donations." She wrinkled her nose, "So we mostly get trashy romance novels." Steve could not help but chuckle at the predicament. "I'm sorry, Jill. That sounds horrible. Hopefully, you can get better donations in the future." The word 'future' brought Jill back to the here and now. She could no longer contain her curiosity. "Are you here with someone? Or are you by yourself?" "You would think I was by myself," Steve answered cryptically as he tried to look around the room once more. Jill understood the implied meaning, causing her shoulders to drop. Steve responded in kind, "So what about you? Since Chris is no longer in the picture, have you found someone?" Jill stammered for a moment, before she finally said, "Well, Jimmy and I are dating, though I don't think it's serious. He works at the gym now." She shook her head with a slight shrug of her shoulders, "I swear he can't keep his eyes to himself." "He works at the gym? What happened to him being a police officer?" Jill chuckled at the question. "Apparently, there was some clerical error and Chris' car got demolished rather than impounded. They blamed Jimmy for the mistake. Jimmy denied any involvement, but he was jealous of Chris. Even now, he wonders if he's better than Chris." Steve raised an eyebrow and questioned his ex-wife, "Well, is he?" "Only one person ever truly rocked my world, Steve." The look on Jill's face revealed the answer to Steve. He was touched by the sentiment. However, it was at that moment that Steve saw who he was looking for since his arrival. He smiled warmly, which Jill mistook for a response to her statement. "Jill, I would like for you to meet someone," explained Steve. Steve offered her arm to Jill, so that she would not have to use her cane during the short walk. The two them came upon a circle of women, cackling and giggling like hens in a hen house. One of the women wore a little black dress that hugged her curves rather elegantly. She wore her long red hair with blonde highlights. Her small stature did not seem to phase her air of confidence and radiance. Her back was turned to Steve and Jill. "Believe me, girls. I had to come up with the most asinine excuse to push him towards her. It was hard for me to swallow that advice, but I wanted to make sure that he had full closure. I didn't want any doubts to linger. I wanted him for myself, and I wasn't going to share him with a 'what if'," said the red head. Steve cleared his throat as the other women in the small gathering tried to hide their giggles. Amber turned around and smiled brightly. She wrapped her arms around Steve and placed a kiss upon his lips. She did not even acknowledge Jill until after the embrace. "Jill, I would like for you to meet my wife, Amber," Steve said with a hint of pride and love. Jill's heart sank as Steve wrapped his arm around the small of Amber's back, leaving Jill to return to the wooden cane for support. The rest of the evening was uneventful. While Jill was resigned to her fate as being second fiddle, she played up the role as a supporting friend to Steve and his blushing bride, Amber. Conversations bounced from one topic to another. By the end of the night, Steve learned that Dan Hart had to file for bankruptcy after he lost most of his customers, due to a systems malfunction which caused his shipments to be late. While he managed to maintain a small client base, it was not enough to support the fleet. When he filed for bankruptcy, any remnants of wealth he had left belonged to Gloria after the divorce settlement. It was also discovered that Jonathan, the former CFO of the hospital, was fired. Steve never shared the fact that he was almost fired, himself, for violating HIPAA regulations. When Jonathan confronted Steve about the violations, Steve threatened a lawsuit of sexual harassment. Jonathan cowered and catered to Steve's demands of a severance package that included a base settlement twice his salary in exchange for Steve's silence. Jonathan's womanizing ways, though, caught up with him and karma proved the victor.