70 comments/  99026 views/  22 favorites

Secrets and Lies

By: DeYaKen



I'm sitting outside enjoying a glass of shandy in the warm April sunshine. As I sit here enjoying the morning air my scar starts to itch. It is not a large scar, about three inches long, just above the waist on the left side of my back. As I start to scratch the itch it all comes flooding back to remind me where a lie can get you.

Susan and I have been married for seventeen years and for the most part we have been happy. She has blessed me with three wonderful children, Alex, Maddy and Jacob. Susan is four years older than me and I always joked that I was her toy boy. She's attractive, not drop dead gorgeous but most men would give her a second look. She has a nice figure, great legs and a personality that could warm any room. One of the things that really attracted me to Susan was her love of children. Although I often made jokes to the contrary, I really wanted to be a dad.

When we married I was twenty one and Susan was twenty five. Her biological clock was ticking. In those days it was thought if you hadn't started a family by the time you were thirty then you considered adoption. After eighteen months of trying, Susan still hadn't conceived so we started consulting specialists. During this time all our friends were producing offspring and they were all younger than Susan. One of my friends, Gary Dawson, had made his teenage girlfriend pregnant and had to marry her. Susan had all the tests done and everything came back normal. Then it was my turn and here comes the hammer blow, good old Harry Anderson who loves children, had a very low sperm count and it was doubtful that he would ever produce offspring. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't give the woman I loved, the one thing she wanted more than anything else in this world. I would have understood if she had left me but my Susan wasn't like that. She'd made a promise for better or worse and she would see it through.

Whether someone had said something or whether it was just because we'd been trying so long I will never know but my friends started teasing about the lack of children. Gary Dawson was particularly cruel, his wife Sarah was now expecting their second child. Whenever I saw him the topic would come up and he would boast 

"I only have to look at a woman and she's pregnant. If you need any help there Harry, give me a call. I mean your Susan is no Sarah but I wouldn't climb over her to get to you. Eh" 

I came close to filling that smirking mouth of his with my fist on numerous occasions.

We investigated AID (artificial insemination by donor) and became resigned to that or adoption and we decided to set the wheels in motion. Then one day a miracle happened. Susan rang me at work to tell me she'd just come from the doctor and she was definitely pregnant. Of course, we were overjoyed and Susan was a radiant prospective mother. I worked all the extra hours I could and by the time Alex was born we'd already fitted out a nursery for him. 

What is it they say about buses? You wait forever for one then three come along together. So it was with our children. Within two years we had Maddy and a year later Jacob. It seemed old Harry Anderson wasn't shooting blanks after all. We were as happy as people could be. After Jacob we decided three was enough. We'd never bothered about birth control before but now Susan decided to go on the pill. We had ups and down but it's true to say more ups than downs. 

This sort of happiness couldn't last and just after Alex turned fourteen our world fell apart. On the way home from school one day he stepped off the kerb and into the path of a large SUV. He was taken to hospital and we were told that he had a few broken ribs, a bad crack on the head and severe bruising around the kidneys. It could've been a lot worse and Susan and I supported each other through the worrying times. I was now self employed designing control systems and doing consultancy work for the telecoms industry. I had a tight deadline coming up so we worked out a shift system for being at the hospital. Susan would do the days so I could work at home, I would take over at 4pm and stay until midnight when she'd come back to spend the night in the hospital. Meanwhile her mother would look after the younger children. 

After a couple of days I realised something was wrong. Susan was only giving me sketchy details of what the doctors had said and I sensed she was keeping something from me. When I next came in for my shift I asked her point blank what was wrong with our son. It turned out following the impact from the bull bars on the SUV both kidneys had ceased to function. They'd tried to stimulate them but there were no encouraging signs. Dialysis was an option but not everyone could be helped that way. The hospital had put Alex's name on the transplant waiting list. I thought no more about it.

"Problem solved, he can have one of mine".

Susan burst into tears and said through the sobbing, "Oh Harry, I just knew you'd say that but it's not that simple"

I did my best to calm her down then she explained to me that they had to do tests for tissue type to ensure the new kidney was not rejected. She'd already had a test done and was awaiting the result.

"Fair enough" I said "Who do I see to get my test done?"

"They screen you first "she said "and the best chances of a match come from maternal blood relatives. I've already had my test, Maddy and Jacob are too young."

For the first time in seventeen years I felt Susan was lying to me and I didn't know why. Susan went home to get some rest and I settled in to sit with Alex. He wasn't looking good his body seemed to be puffed up with all the fluids they put into him and he was only conscious for short periods.

That evening they had a medical emergency on the ward and I saw one of the Doctors rushing in. I decided to wait for him and find out more of what was going on. To be fair he looked like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in days so when I confronted him as he left he was, to say the least a little short with me. He told me he had explained all this to my wife, Alex really needed a transplant and the best likelihood of a match came from a blood relation.. 

"Your wife has already been tested and I asked her to get the boy's father to come in for testing"

"Well that's me Doc, I'm Alex's father"

"Oh No" he said "I mean it's great that you look on him that way, but we need his biological father from your wife's first marriage."

I was so shocked that I just let him walk away. I tried to call Susan several times that night but each time there was no reply. By the time she turned up for the night shift I'd made up my mind not to broach the subject yet. I mentioned that I'd tried to call her and she told me that she was out in the garden and then went round to her mother's. Another lie I'd already called there.

I went home but I didn't get much sleep. The question kept coming up "why would she lie about a previous marriage?" The only answer I could think of was that Alex was not mine and she knew it. The following day I finished the project I had been working on and sent the report down the line to the customer. I rang them and told them I couldn't do a presentation for at least a week but to go ahead and show what I'd done to their techies so they could be ready with questions at the presentation. That left me free during the day. 

That afternoon I was back at the hospital by 4pm. Susan was distraught, Her test had come back negative. That only leaves the boy's father I thought, is that where she was last night? I comforted her as best I could and told her to go home and get some rest. I knew in my heart she wouldn't be going home. I waved her off at the hospital door then made a sprint for my car. In the state she was in she wouldn't have noticed me if I'd been right on her bumper.

I was right about her not going home. Instead she drove out to an estate of new houses on the outskirts of town. She pulled up outside one of the houses and just sat in her car. I pulled up about 200 metres behind her and watched. For over an hour she sat there. Just as I was starting to believe nothing was going to happen a black pick up swung into the drive of the house. Susan got out of her car and marched up the drive. I recognised the driver as soon as he got out. I hadn't seen him for a good few years and those years hadn't been kind but as he stood there I could see it was Gary bloody Dawson. I started to feel sick, of all the people to do it with why him?

Susan was now up to the truck and was talking to Gary. I could see him repeatedly shaking his head. Susan dropped to her knees, My God she was begging him. He tried to walk away but she was holding his trousers. That's when I saw him raise his hand. I was out of my car and running full tilt, closing the distance between us. He never did strike Susan, someone appeared at the side door, called to him and he turned and left Susan kneeling in the driveway. Slowly she got up and walked back to her car and I walked back to mine. She must have sat there a good ten minutes before she started the car and drove off. I followed long enough to be sure she was headed home then made my way back to the hospital. I sat with Alex talking to him when he was awake and just thinking when he slept. One thing was sure he wasn't getting any better.

When Susan got back to the hospital she looked awful, as if she'd been crying all evening and all hope taken from her. Even knowing what I knew I still couldn't resist giving her a cuddle and telling her it would be all right. I stayed with her for much of the night. We sat just holding each other and talking about the options. I left the hospital around 3am and went home. I realised that night, whatever I decided to do couldn't be done while Alex was still in the Hospital.

In the clear light of day away from the emotional wrenching I felt I was thinking more clearly. I went up to the attic and searched through all the old photos that we had. After a while I found some of the old crowd we had mixed with in our youth. Sure enough there were some with Gary. I also found a school photo of Alex and compared the two. Same eyes, similar nose and eyebrows, he had Susan's mouth but a sharper chin than either of them. To my untrained eye it looked pretty conclusive. I also found a picture of Susan from just before she was first pregnant she was wearing a bikini and it was obviously a holiday picture. As I looked at the picture I got a warm feeling in my chest. God she was lovely, not catwalk beautiful but had the look that made you want to hold her and protect her from any of life's troubles. I took the photos downstairs and put them under the lid of my scanner for later use. I sat down at my desk and called my brother Bob. He and his wife had a spare room and I was hoping to move into it on a temporary basis. I told him that Susan and I were going through a rough patch and I wanted to give her some space once Alex came out of Hospital. He seemed to swallow it and said he'd talk to his wife but he was sure she would agree.

When I arrived at the hospital both Alex and Susan were looking remarkably brighter. He'd been given his first round of Dialysis and things were looking up. 

She looked at me and said "We need to talk, fancy taking me for a coffee?" 

I thought, this is it she is going to make a clean breast of it and tell me the whole sordid story. I was wrong. As we sat and drank our coffee she started telling me all about dialysis and how once a patient had settled down and was capable of doing it themselves they frequently installed the machines at home. But it needed a separate room. She wanted to know if I was prepared to give up my office. I was disappointed, she was still going on with the lie. 

"Yes, No problem" I said, knowing full well that I would be out by then.

That evening passed well, Alex had perked up no end. He was still strapped up because of the broken ribs and it still hurt him to laugh but he was more like the son I knew. He was asleep by ten so I got out my laptop and made a list of things to do. Set up personal bank account, get new phone, talk to solicitor, move stuff out, Kill Gary.

Susan was late that night and didn't arrive until 1.00 am. She looked better than she had for a week and had obviously been sleeping. I went home and slept well for the first time in three days. I was awakened by the telephone at half past nine It was my brother, yes they would be happy for me to stay and was there anything they could do to help Susan and I get over our problems. I thanked him and asked if I could start bringing my stuff over at about five that evening. He agreed and I let him get back to work. By the time the day was over I'd set up a personal bank account and transferred a third of the funds from our joint accounts into it. I had bought a new phone and started copying my contacts across to it. I'd also set up an appointment with a solicitor for the following day. When I arrived at my brothers house and started unloading he was a bit surprised.

"Whoa Harry. This looks like a lot of stuff for just a few days. You are planning on going back aren't you?"

"I don't know Bob. I just don't know but I am going to have to work out of here for a while, if that is O.K.?". 

He said it would be and I set off for the hospital.

Susan and Alex were both in fine fettle when I got there and didn't even complain about me being late. Alex was so much better that Susan had decided to spend the night at home in our own bed.

"Harry when he drops off to sleep come home, you really look exhausted". 

I got home around eleven and, using the excuse she had already given me, went straight to bed and slept. I was awakened by the smell of bacon and the news that it was on the table. When I reached the table Susan was quite her old self, bright, happy and buzzing. Over breakfast she told me all about how Alex was due for dialysis today then again on Monday and if they went well he could come home and just go in three times a week for dialysis until we got a machine at home. She thanked me for giving up my office, finished her coffee and dashed off to the hospital. I got out the laptop and looked again at my to do list. Only two items left, talk to solicitor and kill Gary. 

Well the first one was in hand so I might as well make a start on the other. I had no idea whether I could actually kill him. I'd never even wanted someone dead before, but then again I'd never been in this frame of mind before. It seemed to me, my whole life had been taken from me and none of that would have happened without Gary Dawson. I wanted to take his life away the way he'd taken mine.

Now I have no experience in killing people but from the films I'd seen you started by studying their movements. With this in mind I drove out to Gary's house. As I pulled up outside I saw his pick up in the drive. All of my calm abandoned me. The bastard had impregnated my wife then turned his back on my son in his hour of need. He deserved what was coming to him and there was no time like the present. I got out of my car and strode up to the front door. I rang the bell and the door was quickly opened. What I saw took my breath away. She was about five foot eight curves in all the right places brunette with blue eyes. She wore figure hugging ice blue jeans and a cotton check shirt tied at the bottom exposing some of her midriff. 

"Can I help you?" 

My anger returned and I demanded to see Gary

"Well I'm afraid you can't. He's not here" Then before I could dispute that she looked at me again and said "Just a minute, it's Harry isn't it? You are Harry Anderson? My it has been a long time Harry, please come in."

"I'm sorry you have me at a disadvantage. You are?"

"Sarah Harry. Gary's wife"

"Sarah. - I am sorry I didn't recognise you, the last time I saw you, you were just out of your teens and now you're..."

"All growed up" she said before I could finish "tell me Harry" she continued spinning around with her arms held up "You like?"

"Oh I like, very much" I said truthfully

"Good. Sit down I'll make some coffee"

I sat on the sofa with the wind taken completely out of my sails. I wanted to kill Gary not harm this vision of loveliness. She came back with a tray with coffee, cream, sugar and biscuits. She sat opposite me on the Sofa with one leg tucked up under her, and looking straight at me. As she poured the coffee she asked 

"Harry, has Gary done something very bad to you?"

"What makes you ask that?" 

"When I answered the door the man outside had real hatred in his eyes. That's why I didn't recognise you straight off. The Harry Anderson I knew was a kind and gentle man who never hated anyone. Why did you come here Harry?"

"I came to kill him" I said in a matter of fact manner.

"Wow! You must hate him even more than I do. What has he done to you Harry?"

I saw a chance to side step the question.

"Why do you hate him? Does he beat you?"

"Used to Harry, but not any more. Not since Daddy found me with a black eye and sent someone to have a chat with Gary. He has not laid a finger on me since"

"That must've been quite some chat" 

"Oh it was, the kind that left his right hand in plaster for six weeks. Now he's the one that's afraid." 

She returned to the question 

"What's he done to you Harry"

Her eyes were not those of an inquisitor but soft and tender and full of sympathy. I broke down in tears and told her the whole story. As I did so she moved closer and pulled my head to her chest and held it there. When I got to the part where Susan was obviously begging him to have a tissue test she interrupted me.

"That was Susan? I never would've recognised her. I thought it was one of his little lady friends"

"If he'd hit her I would have killed him there and then." 

"If he'd hit her Harry darling, I would be wearing his balls as ear rings today. Like I said I am not the one who's afraid these days"

I sobbed and she hugged me to her breast and it was only as I started to calm that I began to relish the pleasure of having my head cradled there. When I stopped crying she pulled my head up held it between her two hands and looked at me. I remember thinking "God she is beautiful"

"You have to start thinking like Harry Anderson. You were always the smartest man in our little group, that's why you didn't fit in. Killing Gary isn't going to help you is it? It'll only make it worse. What are Susan and the children going to do with you locked up in prison?"

The truth of her words stuck home and I realised she was right. This was the girl that the blokes in our little group of friends had called an air head and Gary's bimbo all those years ago, how wrong they were.

She made some fresh coffee and we talked some more when I looked at my watch I saw that it was almost time for my solicitor's appointment. 

As I got up to leave and she followed me to the door. "Harry, Gary is home all weekend and the children will be home from school. Will you promise me that you will come back on Monday morning, we can make a plan?" 

Then she kissed me, not hard and passionate but soft and kindly. Of course I promised I would come back, what man wouldn't? As I got to the door she pulled my head down and kissed me again. This one was warm , passionate and full of fire. She pulled her body in close to mine our lips parted and our tongues were doing the Tango. As we broke the kiss she looked at me and smiled.

"That was to make sure you come back on Monday" 

The solicitor thought the case was straightforward if I went for adultery then I'd have to get DNA tests done to prove that I wasn't the father of the children. Otherwise we could use the information Susan had given the doctors to show that she didn't think I was Alex's father and discovering the deception led to irreconcilable breakdown. I told him the latter sounded like the best option. I had no desire to blacken Susan's name and certainly didn't want the children to think badly of her. I also told him I wasn't ready to act yet and would wait until Alex was out of Hospital.


Secrets and Lies Ch. 02



This is the ending that I had originally planned for the story Secrets and Lies before I decided to let you use your imaginations to provide your own ending. However, so much of the feedback requested closure of the story I have decided to flesh it out into something that I hope is worth reading. If you have not already read Secrets and Lies I suggest you do so as it will help you make sense of this part. 

**************************

The story so far

Harry has been married to Susan for 17 years and they have three children aged 14, 12 and 11. Following a road accident their eldest son required a kidney transplant and Harry finds that his wife has told the doctors that he is not the boy's father. Harry leaves Susan and cuts off all contact with her other than that necessary to ensure access to his children. He seeks out the probable father of the child intent on doing him serious damage but instead embarks on a relationship with the man's lovely wife Sarah. Harry is intent on a new life while maintaining his relationship with his children. However, on meeting Sarah, Harry's eldest son, Alex, decides that his father's affair is the cause of his leaving the family home and cuts off contact. Sarah declares her love for Harry but insists that he sorts things out with Susan first. At his first attempt to do so he discovers that Alex is back in Hospital and is unable to continue with Dialysis. A transplant is now the only solution.

Harry insists on a tissue test and is found to be a match. He becomes a live donor for his son. Susan finds him at the Hospital and accepts that she has done wrong but explains that her attempts to have a baby with another man's sperm were carried out using a turkey baster and she has never had sex with anyone other than Harry.

***********************

Now read on

That afternoon they removed the drain from my wound and I got up and got dressed left a note for Sarah and went off in search of Alex. I found him and Susan still in the same room as I had seen them before. He was sitting up and looking fitter than I had seen him in months. As I walked in the door his face dropped and he looked at his mother. She was looking at me with a big beaming smile.

"How are you feeling Harry?" she asked.

"I am fine" I said then turned to Alex. "More to the point how are you young man?"

" OK I guess" he said "They found me a donor and I had a transplant the day before yesterday"

I came close to the bed and grabbed his hand to shake it, I half expected him to pull it away but he didn't.

"I am sorry it has taken me so long to get here," I said. "I hurt my back and couldn't get out of bed for a few days" Susan shot me another smile, reached across the bed, took my hand and squeezed it.

"Hey what's all this?" Alex asked. "Have you two kissed and made up or something?" 

"Not exactly" his mother said. "But we have talked and cleared the air between us."

"Yes" I laughed, "she caught me in a position where I couldn't get away. My ears are still ringing."

Alex grinned, "No jokes dad it hurts to laugh"

"What we have done is to open lines of communication." I told him. "Now have you got your phone with you?"

Susan passed the phone from his locker and I punched in my new mobile number. 

"That's my new mobile number" I said "please share it with your mum and brother and sister"

"You can get me on that number or you can just call my old office number"

Susan looked at me with a shocked look on her face

"You mean that all this time all I had to do was call your office number to get hold of you?"

"Yeah of course," I said. "I still had to work you know"

Susan and Alex started to laugh until Alex felt his stitches pulling. I stayed for a while and told him how he would have to be more careful in future and reminded him that he would still have all the anti-rejection drugs to take.

"Don't worry dad I know that this is my second chance. Everybody deserves a second chance don't they." 

"Yes" I said pretending to miss what he was getting at, "but they rarely get a third."

As I started to leave Susan got up and came to the door. She took my hand in hers and said "Thank you Harry" Then surprised me by going up onto tip toes, kissing me on the cheek and whispering in my ear, "I love you"

I placed my other hand on hers and said "One step at a time Susan, One step at a time".

When I got back to the ward I found Sarah waiting for me at the nurses station. She grabbed my arm and took me back to my room.

"Come on" she said, "You are supposed to be a patient, not a visitor"

As soon as we were back in my room she asked, "So how is he Harry?"

I told her how well Alex looked, and that I had a reasonable conversation with him.

"Did Susan come to see you?" she asked.

"Yes she did" I said "and who told her I was here?"

"Ah, that would be me I guess. Sorry Harry I just couldn't bare the idea of Gary getting all the credit for Alex's recovery"

Sarah told me that the nurses were expecting me to be discharged the following day and assured me that she would be there to collect me.

The following day I was indeed discharged on the condition that there was someone at home to look after me. I lied and told him there was. I gave Sarah a call and asked her to delay picking me up so that I could go and see Alex again.

He was looking great and I had obviously got there before Susan. It didn't take him long to get straight to what he wanted to know. 

"You and mum were getting on well yesterday" he said "does that mean you are coming home soon"

"It is too early to say" I told him "There is a lot of hurt to get over first." 

"Still, we are talking now so that's a start isn't it"

"Yeah, I suppose" he said 

"Anyway" I said, "I will still come over to see you and you are always welcome to come to my house"

"Will she be there?" he asked

"If by she you mean Sarah then yes she may be there from time to time," I told him.

"In that case I would rather not," he said.

"Now listen Alex," I said not trying to disguise my irritation. "Sarah is not the reason that I left your mother."

"No" he said "but she might be the reason you don't come back."

I changed the subject and talked about what he did all day now he was feeling so much better. We talked about how he was going to catch up on his school work. Just as I was about to leave Susan arrived.

"Don't leave on my account Harry," she said.

" I'm not" I said, "I've got someone coming to pick me up and I don't want to keep them waiting"

She decided to walk out with me. As we walked we talked about how I was and about Jacob and Maddy. She guessed who was coming to collect me and as we neared the entrance we could see her through the glass.

"Tell me that is not the little mouse that was Sarah," she said.

I laughed, "Sorry no can do" I said "Are you going to come out to meet her"

"Really Harry, I don't think that is a good idea, do you?"

I left her there and went out to meet Sarah.

"Hi Harry" she said before kissing me "I borrowed this" pointing to a black Audi 4x4, "I thought it would be a bit easier getting in and out of, in your condition."

For the next week she nursed me as much as she could. The biggest downside for me was that she would not risk lovemaking until the stitches were out. That happened some twelve days after the operation. I attended the outpatients department of the local hospital. The girl on reception told me they were about an hour behind schedule and asked me to take a seat. Sarah and I sat side-by-side waiting our turn. After a short while a pretty little nurse came into reception and collected patients notes. Sarah got up and walked over to her. I could see her nodding in my direction and the nurse put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. Sarah came back and sat down.

"Not long now" she said.

The nurse came back into reception.

"Mr Anderson" she called 

I followed her to a cubicle where she asked me to pull my shirt up and lie face down on the bed. As I did so she kept giggling to her self.

"Do you know Sarah?" I asked.

"Who" she said then realised and continued "Oh you mean the lady you came in with. No I have never met her before today."

"Well," I said, "the two of you seemed to be sharing a good joke at my expense. Would you mind sharing it with me."

"No it wasn't really at your expense," she said as she started clipping and pulling stitches out. "She told me that you were a live kidney donor and that you had not made love to her since before the operation twelve days ago. Then she said that she was now so horny that if we didn't hurry up she would have to mount you right there in reception."

We both laughed out loud before she got back down to business and finished the job. She was extremely proficient and I was out in a matter of minutes. As I walked through reception I took Sarah's hand.

"Come on" I said, "You and I have things to attend to."

We rushed out of the Hospital and back to the car. She had my belt undone and "Harry's Canon" as she called it in her hands all the way home. By the time we got to my place we were both so eager that we were undressing on the way to the front door. We were down to our underwear when we reached the bedroom. We didn't bother with lunch that day and it was mid afternoon when I asked if she was going to do the school run.

"Mum's doing it for me" she said "you have got me till six 'O' clock"

"Well we had better make the most of it, " I said as I pulled her to me and kissed her. 

We were well into some more body exploration when the phone rang. I reached out and picked it up.

"Hello, Harry Anderson"

"I can't believe that this was all I had to do to get hold of you"

"Hello Susan." I said, "What can I do for you"

Sarah started kissing my stomach and moving downwards.

"Alex comes home tomorrow," she said "and we are going to have a coming home party"

"That sounds......n.n.nice," I said as I felt Sarah start to suck a fresh charge into the canon.

" Are you in pain Harry"

"No" I said "just a li.i.i.ttle uncomfortable" I said watching Sarah's head bobbing up and down.

"Not too uncomfortable I hope" she said, "I was hoping that you would come"

"Orgh! I would say that is a distinct possibly," I said as Sarah's nose pressed into my scrotum.

"Are you sure you are all right?" she asked. "I could come over if you need some help."

"No...... I can .. man..age" I said "What time do you want me there?"

"If you could come about four?" said Susan.

"Oh ...." I said "I think it may be earlier than that."

"Whatever Harry. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye"

I said good-bye and hung up. At that point I exploded into Sarah's mouth. I looked down at Sarah sucking the last drops from my dick. I slapped her delicious arse.

"You" I said "are a very naughty girl."

"Are you going to spank me sir," she asked as a smile spread across her face.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing with pain and pleasure and the fine line between the two until she left me for the day.

I arrived at the party and immediately realised that I shouldn't have come. My mother was there along with Susan's mother and stepfather, my brother Bob and his wife Wendy. In short all the people who wanted me to move back home or know the reason why. Susan seemed overjoyed to see me and greeted me with a kiss on the lips. She was followed by Jacob and Maddy who ran up and hugged me. Even Alex came out to meet me. We had friends, neighbours and friends of the children. Susan had really pushed the boat out. She had cooked the food, which, as usual, was plentiful. She had even bought a case of my favourite beer. Susan fetched me a beer and I tried my hardest to surround myself with non-family members.

"Are you going to avoid your mother all evening then" My mother had managed to pin me down at last.

"I'm sorry mum, I know I have neglected you over the last six months or so. The fact of the matter is that it isn't you I have been trying to avoid, it is the lecture that I think I am going to get now."

"If you mean that I'm going to tell you to stop behaving like a spoiled child then you are right," she said.

My mother thought that Susan was the best thing that had happened to me and for seventeen years I would have agreed. I couldn't tell her why I now had my doubts. If she knew the story she would be screaming for paternity tests and if it showed that they were not mine then she would turn her back on them. The children would never understand why Grandma didn't want to see them any more.

"What has this new woman got that makes you abandon your wife and children?" she asked.

"This new woman as you call her was a result of my problems with Susan, not the cause of them. If it hadn't been for her you might have been talking to me through prison bars right now. If you are looking for someone to blame then blame me or blame Susan but leave Sarah out of it. Unfortunately mum you are doing what you always do, making judgements without knowing the whole story."

"So what else am I supposed to do when nobody will tell me anything? You tell me nothing and Susan only says that it is all her fault."

"Perhaps no one will tell you anything because, quite frankly mum, it is none of your business."

"My son walks out on his wife and my grand children" she was beginning to get loud now "and he tells me it's none of my business. Huh"

Susan came over and rescued me. "She means well," she said as she steered me back towards the kids.

"I know" I said "everybody thinks I am a bastard because I won't tell them the reason for our problems and unless I do they can't believe that it is not my fault. If I do tell them it will have a terrible effect on the kids. God Susan this is killing me I wish I had never come."

I grabbed another beer and took the children out to the garden. Alex, who had seen and heard everything, even gave me a sympathetic look. I sat outside with them for a while chatting about school and their friends. Maddy even asked after Sarah. Bob and Wendy came out to talk to me.

"Well," Bob said "Wendy told me you had changed but if she hadn't I wouldn't have recognised you. Whatever happened to my geeky brother?"

"He met a woman who saw more than a geek in him" I said.

"She certainly did a great job" Bob said. Then went on rather awkwardly "You're right what you said to mum, it is none of our business but you must see Harry, we only want to help and we can't do that if we don't know what the problem is."

"I know that." I said. "I really would like to be able to tell people, if only to stop them thinking of me as the devil incarnate. The problem is, if I did, it would change things forever and I am not prepared to let that happen. I would rather walk on cloven hooves." 

He grinned and simply said, "You know where we are Harry, don't be a stranger"

Sometimes it can be surprising where support comes from. Susan's mother, Elaine, has never thought that I was good enough for her daughter. She wanted her to marry some social worker that was destined for higher things. He was running the child protection unit now. It didn't matter that I brought home twice as much cash as the said social worker, I was an engineer and so not worthy of her daughter. John was Susan's stepfather, her father having died young. While Elaine would not even acknowledge my existence. John came over and sat opposite me out in the garden.

"She is not a bad woman you know Harry, a little weak at times but not bad."

"Who are we talking about here John, cos if it's Elaine I might have to disagree with you"

"Susan you fool" he said with a grin. "I only know what she has told me, that it is all her fault and that she has hurt you very deeply. Elaine doesn't believe that, of course, but I have never known Susan own up to something she didn't do. She really loves you Harry, always has. The only time I have ever seen her stand up to her mother was when you asked her to marry you. Elaine was spitting feathers for weeks after she said yes."

"I can imagine," I said with a grin.

"You're a good bloke Harry," he continued "and you spend your life solving problems for one company or another. Think about it Harry, are you sure you can't find a solution for this one. I don't want to see you as one of those sad divorced men taking their kids to the park or the zoo every other weekend. You deserve better than that."

I got us both another beer and we sat and chatted about my work, the state of the world anything really other than Susan and me. However, his words kept coming back to me. Isn't that what I already was, a sad man who saw his kids once a fortnight. John stayed with me for quite some time, until Elaine came over and told him it was time to go. As he stood up he suddenly reached out for the table to steady himself.

"God Harry how strong is that stuff?" he said referring to the beer.

I looked at the label, "six point six per cent by volume." I said.

"Good grief and we have had three or four of them"

"That's it Elaine old girl, you're driving tonight" he said and handed her the keys. He gave me a sly wink as they left.

John's words kept going around in my head. I had seen those men he talked about, in the park or the zoo or McDonald's desperately trying to find interesting things to do in the few short hours that they saw their children. The mere thought of it had me reaching for another beer and then another. By the time the other guests had left Maddy was telling Susan that she thought daddy was ill because he was talking really funny. Susan came out and helped me get up and walk inside. I sat down on the sofa and just let the world go past me. She put Maddy and Jacob to bed and even Alex retired leaving just the two of us.

"I've got to go," I said.

"Harry you are in no fit state to drive, stay here" she told me.

"No I will get a cab" I replied.

"It's ten thirty on a Friday night. All the cabs will be in the town centre ferrying the clubbers" and drinkers around. No one is going to want to come all the way out here to take you to the other side of town. Stay the night here, it is your home after all."

"O.K. Just bring me a duvet and a pillow and I will sleep on the sofa," I said.

"I will do no such thing" she told me " I have been keeping a place for you to sleep for the last six months and you are not going to let it go to waste now."

With Susan on my left side and the banister rail on my right I made my way upstairs to the bedroom. 

I was awoken by the sound of voices outside the bedroom door. It slowly opened and Jacob and Maddy came into the room. Maddy was carrying a tray with two cups of coffee and a plate piled high with Marmite toast. "Breakfast" she said.

"Thank you very much" I said "did you do all this yourselves"

"Yes" Maddy said "Alex said your car was still outside and that if we were good you might stay with us today. Will you daddy, will you stay with us today."

"I don't know, it is not my turn this weekend so perhaps we had better ask your mum"

Susan was still lying down with the sheet pulled up to her neck. "Your daddy can stay with us for as long as he likes," she said.

As the kids left the room I picked up my coffee looked down at her and asked "And how often does this happen around here these days?"

"About as often as me waking up naked" she said as she sat up revealing her lovely breasts "and that has been never in the last six months. I have got to say it Harry, even drunk you don't do a bad job."

At the children's suggestion we decided to go to the forest for a picnic. We took Susan's people carrier and put three of the kid's bikes in the back. I suggested that we swing by the house and pick up my bike and Sarah's so we could all have some fun. When we pulled up at the house and Susan just looked in wonder. Five minutes later we had the other two bikes on the rack and were off to forest. We had a picnic by the river and rode through the forest. Susan soon got tired so she and I walked. When she saw Alex speeding down one of the hills weaving in and out of the trees she screamed out in panic. I dropped the bike and ran round to hug her.




Secrets and Lies Ch. 02



"He has to be more careful now Harry, you both have" she sobbed.

"We can't wrap him in cotton wool I told her. He is a teenage boy and we have to let him behave like one" I took her back to the car and sat with her till she got over her fear.

We all had a good time and we drove home with three tired children. Susan made us a warm chicken salad for supper and Jacob and Maddy were both in bed just after eight. When Alex went up to his room at about ten thirty I made ready to leave. Susan threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"Please Harry can't you stay with me tonight? I really need to hold you." 

My head started to spin; I could justify the previous night to myself because I was drunk. If I stayed tonight it would be because I had consciously made the decision to stay. 

"Susan" I said, "If I stay tonight it will not make any difference to us. I will still go home in the morning. I will still be with Sarah on Monday. There is more wrong with our relationship than can be cure by a night in the same bed."

"I know all that Harry," she said. "I am not trying to use sex to tempt you back, though if I thought it would work I would. Today I realised how vulnerable you are now, both you and Alex. I may not have time to play a long game and hope you come back to me. I just want one more night Harry because I don't know if it may be the last one."

I put my arm around her shoulders and as we walked towards the stairs an then the bedroom I reminded her of all the things that the doctors had told us about being able to live a full active life assured her that I intended to get the most from the pension plan I had been paying into.

Once in the bedroom she was a changed person from the Susan I was used to. In seconds she had my trousers round my ankles and was on her knees holding my dick with one hand while she licked and kissed the head. I looked down at her and put two fingers under her chin and turned her face up to look at me.

"You really don't have to do that." I said, knowing how reluctant she had always been to give me a blowjob.

"I thought that you liked it," she said with a disappointed look.

"I do," I said "very much but I always thought that you didn't like doing it"

"If you like it then I really want to do it for you. I've been a selfish bitch Harry. I've always taken what I wanted from our lovemaking and you've always given it to me. Tonight it's payback time."

She went to work with a will and before long I could feel the clenching in my scrotum I started to tell her.

"Susan, I'm cumming," I cried out but she didn't stop.

When the first stream shot into her mouth she stopped moving but continued to suck until it was all over. She swallowed the lot then looked up at me.

"That's really not too bad" she said as she got back on her feet then kissed me with a passion I had long forgotten.

She undressed me and pushed me back on to the bed. She then proceeded to strip off herself as I watched her every move. We got into bed kissed and hugged some more. As I ran my fingers down over her back and bum her hips thrust forward into me. As I moved to her breasts, suckling and nibbling on her nipples she was gasping for breath and as soon as my fingers reached her clitoris she was cumming heavily. The cannon as Sarah liked to call it was now ready for firing again. Susan pushed me over onto my back and started to ride me cowgirl style. She was cumming for a second time by the time the canon fired again. I pulled her down onto my chest and let the canon soften and shrink inside her. We kissed and hugged and I ran my hands all over her back and bum. We made love several times that night. We tried doggy, reverse cowgirl and she even offered me her arse. I explained that she would need some preparation for that so it was left out. In the morning I woke to find her sucking the canon back into life. 

"Thanks for staying Harry" she said. "It was lovely wasn't it"?

"Yes Susan it was really lovely, though I don't know what I am going to tell Sarah"

"We are still man and wife Harry, what goes on between us is nobody's business but ours"

I was suddenly very annoyed. "There you go again Susan," I said, "trying to keep secrets. Have you learned nothing over the last six months? I have a relationship with Sarah I am not going to deceive her. She may want nothing more to do with me but that is a risk I am prepared to take."

She shed a few tears "Sorry Harry, I didn't think"

I drove back to the house I had started to think of as home and was cursing myself for what I had done. I should have walked away last night. We had a wonderful night and it awakened all the old

desires for Susan. I had always really enjoyed making love with her but the less inhibited Susan of last night had been even better. However, lovemaking is not everything. 

I spent Sunday working and trying to figure out what I was going to say to Sarah. To a degree Susan was right there was no reason why I shouldn't make love to my wife but I had told Sarah that I loved her and I now felt like I had cheated on her. The only thing to do was to tell her on Monday morning and accept anything she chose to throw at me.

That Monday she arrived at my house about nine thirty. I told her that I needed to talk to her. We sat at the dining room table and Sarah looked apprehensive. 

"I have to tell you," I said "on Friday and Saturday I slept with Susan. Friday night I was drunk but for Saturday I have no excuse."

She sat there looking at me for several minutes then she said, "Is that it? You slept with your wife, so what?"

"You mean you are not angry"

"Harry, I have already told you that I accept the fact that you will probably always love Susan. That surely means that from time to time you will want to make love to her. I can live with that Harry. If it is a choice between sharing you and not having you at all, I already know what my choice will be. Now tell me about the rest of your weekend."

I told her about the party and the conversations with my mother and brother. I told her about Susan's mother and the conversation with John, Susan's stepfather. 

"And that is why you got drunk?" she asked.

I nodded

"Well I am Not surprised Harry. What I am surprised about is that she still hasn't even told her parents what she did. I know you will defend her but it really isn't on that she lets you take the blame still."

I took both her hands and pulled her up into an embrace. "I need some shopping," I said "let's go and do that and we can get some lunch while we are out."

We went out, did the shopping, had lunch out and generally enjoyed being together. When we returned and just cuddled up on the Sofa. Before she left for the school run I told her that I had an appointment the following day and would not be back till the afternoon.

"That's OK Harry, as a matter of fact I also have something to do tomorrow," she said.

Susan was not expecting visitors that morning so when the doorbell rang she was somewhat surprised. Her first thought was that perhaps it was me but her surprise was complete when she opened the door to find Sarah standing there. Sarah, on the other hand, knew exactly why she was there. She didn't wait for an invitation she just pushed past Susan into the house.

"Good Morning Susan, we need to talk" was all she said.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Susan asked. "You can't barge into my house making demands"

"Well I think I can and what's more I just have. Now, are you going to call the police and have me thrown out or are you going to talk to me?" Sarah asked.

Susan showed her to the lounge. "Would you like coffee?" she asked

"No thanks" Sarah said "I have come here to talk not to socialize"

"And what do you want to talk about?" Susan asked.

"I would have thought that was obvious, I've come to ask you when you are going to take responsibility for what you have done to Harry?" The anger was obvious in Sarah's voice.

"I have" said Susan. "I've told everyone that it is all my fault."

"Not good enough." Sarah replied "you haven't told anyone what you did, not even your own parents. No one believes that saint Susan could ever do anything that would warrant Harry's behaviour. How about letting him bring up another man's children believing them to be his own? When are you going to tell them about that."

Susan burst into tears but Sarah would not be deflected.

"Oh turn off the waterworks Susan, it may work on Harry but not on me. Poor Harry has to put up with everyone, even his own mother believing he is the one in the wrong. He won't tell them because of the way it would affect you and the children. He can't stand the thought of people hating you. So what is your excuse? Why can't you even tell Alex, he thinks I am the reason that Harry hasn't come back to you but we both know that it is what you did that keeps him away."

"I can't tell Alex, it would break him," Susan sobbed.

"Come off it Susan. You won't tell him because he might start treating you the way he now treats his father. Yes I still call Harry his father because as far as Harry is concerned that's what he has always been."

"But everyone will hate me" Susan said.

"Isn't that better than having them hate Harry for something that's not his fault?"

"Yes, Yes of course it is" said Susan fighting back the tears "I told him on Sunday that I was a selfish bitch and that is just what I am being now isn't it?"

"You'll get no arguments from me on that score" Sarah said, "The fact of the matter is that you are the only one who can do anything about that." 

Susan burst into tears again and Sarah's compassionate side kicked in. She left Susan crying and went to the kitchen to make coffee. She searched the cupboards and found all the necessary items and by the time she came back to the sofa Susan was drying her eyes. Sarah set the coffee down on the table and sat beside Susan.

"Do you remember back in the old days when we used to got to all those grope in the dark parties?" Sarah asked her.

Susan managed a quick smile. "Yes I do. I always hated them. When I eventually told Harry that we stopped going"

"I was so jealous of you in those days" Sarah said. "You were clever and attractive and everybody loved you. To make things worse you had the only decent man in the whole crowd."

"My mother wouldn't agree with you on the last part" Susan said as she sipped her coffee.

"Then your mother is a fool," Sarah said.

"Not just a fool but a terrible snob as well" Susan added. "She has never forgiven Harry for being born on the council estate."

They both laughed at that "or for being an engineer" Susan continued.

They continued to reminisce and the atmosphere improved. By the time Sarah left they were like friends talking. As she walked out Sarah turned back to Susan.

"Susan do you really love Harry?"

"I wouldn't want to live without him" Susan replied

"Then you know what you must do." Sarah told her.

I was sitting in the outer office of Mr Gordon McCurrie, Sarah's father. So far he had kept me waiting for twenty minutes. When his secretary told me that he would see me I have to admit to some nerves. I walked into the office and found slightly overweight man of about five foot six. He had blue eyes and a good head of grey hair. His handshake was like a vice being clamped on my hand.

"Good day to you Mr Anderson" he said looking at my business card on the desk. "Now since I have no interests in telecoms or manufacturing I am presuming this is not about business"

"No sir, it is not about business. It is about your daughter Sarah," I told him.

"My daughter," he said with a broad grin "well if you have come to ask for her hand then you are about sixteen years too late."

"No sir I haven't come to ask for her hand. Do you realise how unhappy her marriage is?" I asked.

"She made her bed Mr Anderson now she must lie in it"

"But she didn't make it did she sir, you did. You insisted that she married that little shit Gary Dawson by telling her you would not support her or have anything to do with her if she had a baby out of wedlock."

"Well judging by your very accurate description of him I guess that you know my son Mr Anderson. What you or I think of him matters nought. Having children out of wedlock is a sin in my church"

"And what does your church have to say about keeping a young woman as a prisoner in a loveless marriage for sixteen years?" I asked.

I saw his face flush with anger before he came back at me. "You are sailing very close to the wind Mr Anderson. I could break you any time I want to."

This is not the time to back down I thought. "No you couldn't" I said "You said it yourself you have no interests in the areas I work in. Besides I'm damn good at what I do. My clients would soon get fed up with paying twice as much to get a solution that is half as good."

"O.K. Mr Anderson just what do you want from me?"

"I want you to support Sarah while she divorces Gary Dawson and gets on her feet" I said.

"I will not" he boomed at me. "My grandchildren need a father"

"Why now" I said "they haven't had one for the last sixteen years. Gary isn't a father to them; he is no more than a lodger in that house. Why don't you ask them about him, his likes and dislikes. They don't know because he never talks to them. I agree they should have a father but I am sure she could find a better one than Gary. Look I am offering you the chance to establish a relationship with your daughter because if you don't support her I will. Maybe not to the same standard as you can but I will help her get a divorce and finish her education so she can support herself"

"You are trying my patience now Mr Anderson." he boomed, "I think it is time you left. When I need your advice on family matters I will ask for it." He reached out and pushed a button on his desk.

"Mr Anderson is just leaving Jennifer. Would you please see him out?"

I got up to walk to the door and stopped momentarily.

"Would it make any difference if I told you that by his adulterous activities your son has wrecked a perfectly happy marriage of seventeen years?"

"Would this be your marriage Mr Anderson?" he asked.

"Yes sir it would" 

" In that case you have my sympathy," he said.

Jennifer came in and I walked out with her. As we reached the door McCurrie called out to me.

"Mr Anderson, Just how is it that you know my son?"

"Same school, same council estate" I replied.

"Yet you are a horse of a very different colour," he said.

"Thank you sir, I'll take that as a compliment" I said.

Jennifer did indeed show me out and I made my way back home hoping that I had made some difference. Certainly he had not given me any reason for optimism. 

The following day neither Sarah nor I discussed our activities of the previous day. I did ask Sarah what she would do if she got the chance to divorce Gary. When she told me she would jump at it I told her that if her father was not willing to support her then I would. I told her that I couldn't keep her in the manner that her father did.

"Harry" she asked, "this is not a proposal is it?" 

"No I'm sorry if it sounded like that" I said "I am saying that no matter what happens to us I will support you through a divorce and your studies."

"And what studies would those be then Harry."

"Well I thought you would want to take up your education where you left off so that you could get a bit of independence."

"Harry that is a great idea do you really think that I could do that."

"I don't just think you could I am sure you could" I said.

"Harry you are so good for Me." she said and kissed me 

That weekend was my turn to have the kids so I picked them up as usual and as usual Alex decided not to come. I can't pretend it didn't hurt but it had to be his decision. Perhaps it was John's comments about fathers in the park, I decided that we could just hang out at the house. Sarah came over in the afternoon. Jacob and Maddy liked her so it was no problem. We had a good time at home and they went to bed tired. The rain started to fall and Sarah and I sat with a glass of wine. I would have liked her to stay but around ten she left. She hadn't been gone more than five minutes when the doorbell rang. My heart jumped into my mouth when I saw a drowned Alex standing there. I brought him in and found him some towels to dry himself. 

"Does your mother know you are here?" I asked

He shook his head. I saw how cold he was so I made him get out of his clothes and get in the shower. While he was in there I called Susan.

"Hello Susan. I thought I had better call you. Alex has just turned up here. He is soaked to the skin and freezing cold. I've put him in the shower to warm up."

"Oh thank God Harry I have been so worried. Thank you for calling me."

"What has happened Susan?" I asked.

"I told him Harry, I told him everything. That was about midday, he was so angry with me and he stormed out. I didn't think he would come to you. I rang all his friends."

"Don't worry Susan he is here now, I will look after him and bring him back with the others tomorrow. Meanwhile you get some sleep."

"Thank you Harry, thank you Good night."

"Good night Susan"

I took a robe into Alex, asked him to come down when he was dry. Meanwhile I put the kettle on and made him a cup of hot chocolate. Gradually he warmed up. I sat down with him on the sofa.

"O.K. Alex now how about we start at the beginning, what is this all about" I asked

"I'm so sorry dad, really really sorry" he sobbed.

"Sorry for what" I asked.

"For thinking that it couldn't be that serious and that you were just using it as an excuse to be with Sarah."

"You never told me that," I said.

" I know but I thought it all the same. I just couldn't understand why you couldn't just give mum another chance but she destroyed your life dad. I mean you may not even be my dad anybody else would be long gone but you are still here." 

"Lets have no more talk about me not being your dad. What other dad have you ever known?" I asked.

"Only you and I've been such a shit to you. And then you go and give me your kidney. I don't deserve it." He was sobbing his heart out. I felt his fingers tracing the scar on my back.

"That was your bad back in the hospital wasn't it? Why did you keep it from me?"

"I did it because I love you. I didn't want you to think that I did it to make you love me so I asked your mum to keep it from you till this was all sorted out." I told him.

"Why did she do it dad. Why would she hurt you like that?" he asked

I thought of John's words at the party. "Susan is not a bad woman Alex she didn't do it to hurt me, she did it to get you. She shouldn't have done it but she is weak and she was desperate. It is very hard for a woman who wants children as much as your mum wanted you. When someone offers you an easy solution it is hard to reject it."

"But she did it again, twice" he said.

"I suppose that when it appeared to work the first time it was even harder for her to ignore the chance for more children."

We talked about the situation and he calmed down. Eventually I put him to bed, put his clothes in the dryer and went to bed myself. Sleep didn't come easy I couldn't understand why Susan had suddenly decided to tell him everything. I was glad that she had told him but was still curious as to why and where we went from there.

We had a good day on Sunday. There was a big motorcycle rally nearby and Sarah brought Luke and Daisy. The older boys really enjoyed seeing all the bikes. Even walking around the car park was exciting for them. The girls and Sarah enjoyed the events as well as admiring some of the riders. I was getting quite lost in the moment when my Mobile rang. It was Susan's phone.




Secrets and Lies Ch. 02



"Hello Susan" I said, "What's up?"

"It's not Susan Harry it's John." said the voice at the other end. "Susan is here but she is not in a fit state to talk to you right now."

"What do you mean John? What has happened? Is she all right?" I asked

"Sorry, I must have worried you." he said "physically she is fine, she is just very upset. I just wanted to call you to tell you what had happened."

I looked around and found a bank to sit down on. "O.K. John what is this all about?"

"She told us Harry, told us everything. The turkey baster, the kidney, everything. Elaine is in a state of shock. I know I shouldn't feel this way Harry but on this subject to see Elaine holed below the waterline and sinking fast made me a happy man."

"Are you still there Harry?"

"Yeah, sorry John I am just trying to get my head around what is happening. She told Alex all about it Yesterday."

"Well Elaine started this one." John said, "she started her usual rant about how Susan should never have married you and that you are not worthy of her. Susan, for once, came back at her. She told her she was right, she should not have married you because you were worthy of someone a lot better than her lying cheating daughter. Then it all came out. Elaine is just sitting here and doesn't know what to do. Susan has locked herself in the bathroom."

I just sat there silent.

"Harry," John said, "the main reason for calling is to ask when you will be back with the children? I don't think Susan should drive in this condition so I will take her home. Can you stay with her?"

I told him I would and disconnected.

When I got up Sarah, Daisy and Maddy soon found me.

Sarah asked me what was wrong and I told her. "What is going on?" I asked "First Alex now her parents?" then panic struck and I rang back. 

John answered 

"John" I said, "something has just occurred to me. It seems she has decided to tell everyone. Can you please tell her that I said that on no account is she to tell my mother or brother. Now you know the truth, think about what it might do to our kids. I don't want them to lose a grandma."

As I put the phone back in my pocket Sarah grabbed my arm and hugged it.

"Come on you." she said "lets get you to the Hog Roast" 

We had a really great day. Being out with Sarah was good enough but having all five children added to the thrill. We went back home to eat then Sarah and her children went home. I told Jacob, Maddy and Alex that their mother was very upset and that grandma Elaine and grandpa John would be there when I got them home. Alex said that he didn't want to go; he wanted to stay with me. I told him that it was not fair to move out while his mother was so upset.

When we arrived we were met by John and a silent Elaine. Elaine organised getting Maddy and Jacob into bed. Alex went to his room. I went up to see Susan.

She saw me come in and smiled. I went over and sat on the bed next to her. I moved the hair from her face.

"I told them Harry," she said.

"Yes" I said, "you certainly did that all right"

"They don't blame you any more," she said.

" I think you need to get some sleep now" I said 

"Where is Alex?" she asked

" Alex is in his room and I am staying here tonight so you just get some sleep. You will feel much better in the morning.

I kissed her and left her to sleep.

Downstairs John and Elaine were sitting on the sofa. I offered them coffee or a glass of wine. Elaine declined for both of them. Wringing her hands and looking at the floor she came over to me.

"Harry" she said, "I owe you an apology. I have thought very badly of you and even said that you were not worthy of my daughter. Now I find that she ripped your heart out but despite that and not even knowing whether or not he is your child you still saved the life of our eldest grandchild. You are not only worthy of my daughter but we would be proud if you decide to remain our son."

"Well Elaine" I said "I can't say that I am not touched by what you have said but I must correct you on one point, Alex is my son and I love him. I am the only father he has ever known and I fully intend to keep it that way. The same goes for Maddy and Jacob."

"Thank you" she said and went back to John wiping away a tear.

They stayed with me for a while and I assured them that I would stay the night. As they left John put his arm around my shoulders.

"Good on you lad" he said "and thanks for being so gracious, it took a lot for her to say that."

Susan was sleeping when I went back up to her. I undressed her and covered her. I gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead, grabbed a pillow and went down to sleep on the sofa. In the morning I called Sarah to say I would be late home as I was expecting to get the children off to school. She was in a hurry herself so we weren't long on the phone.

I went up to check on Susan. She was still sleeping so I made a start on getting the kids up. I had them all fed and ready for school before she made it downstairs. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and headed off on the school run. When I got back she had dressed and apart from her heavy eyes was looking quite her normal self. She had made coffee and we sat down to drink it.

"What possessed you to tell everyone?" I asked.

"I could see that until I did they would still blame you Harry and that just isn't fair."

I told her what her mother had said.

"About bloody time" she said, "she has never given you a fair shake. Stuck up cow. John's all right but my mother thinks that everyone is beneath us."

"Well you certainly cured her of that one." I said 

"Harry you know we will have to get paternity tests done don't you, if not for you then for the children. They have a right to know who their biological father is."

"I suppose so" I said "but I don't want to know the result"

"But why? Wouldn't it help you to know one way or the other?" she asked.

"Think about it Susan. What if one of them is mine and the others are his? Where does that leave me, I would like to think that it would make no difference and that I would still love them all the same but I can't guarantee that. And what about you, would you be able to treat them all the same? I think it is better not to know."

"I really stuffed up big time didn't I." she said

I looked at my watch and told her I had to go because Sarah would be waiting. I kissed her goodbye and left with my problems whirling round my head looking for a solution.

Sarah looked brighter than ever when I saw her. She had let herself in and was making me breakfast.

"I'll bet you haven't eaten yet," she said.

As usual she was right. Over breakfast she told me how much she, Luke and Daisy had enjoyed our day out. Luke, apparently, was amazed at my knowledge of motorbikes and he and Alex had got on well. Everyone thought it was a good day out. Then she told me of another surprise.

"Daddy was waiting when we got home last night," she said. "He asked me about my marriage and I laughed and said what marriage? It was strange he really seemed interested. He even asked Luke and Daisy about their father. I was really shocked, they couldn't even remember his birthday. He was really nice not like he normally is with me. He said if I could find evidence of adultery he would pay for a divorce and continue to support me after that. When he asked what I would do after the divorce I told him about our plans for me to go to university and finish my education. Do you know Harry he loved the idea, told me I would be the smartest and prettiest girl on Campus. I didn't want him to go, which as you know is unusual."

"Where was Gary all this time?" I asked 

"I don't know, some casino or other. The fact that he didn't turn up helped to make up Daddy's mind I think."

"What happened with you then?" she asked me.

I told her all about Susan's mother and how I had put Susan to bed and slept on the sofa. When I mentioned paternity tests Sarah's eyes lit up. 

"That's my evidence," she said, "If only one of them is Gary's child then I have got him. Can I do it Harry please?"

With tears running down my face I just nodded. It seemed that everyone was pushing me towards paternity tests. "O.K." I said "but can you make sure that I don't get to know the results?"

She looked down and saw the state I was in and hugged me to her breast. I think that was when I decided.

"I am sorry Sarah" I said, "I just can't do this any more. I can't be a weekend dad any more they need me. I've got to go back."

"Do you mean it Harry, are you really going back to Susan?" she asked.

"I'm going back to my kids," I said "and yes I am going back to Susan, they need me"

"I need you Harry especially now I am getting a divorce. God knows you are the main reason that I want one."

"Is this because of her sudden admissions? She is just trying to win you back by making you feel sorry for her."

"No it was not that, it was Sunday. It was a great day and everyone enjoyed it but I should be able to do that whenever I want, not just when it is my turn. I should be there when they get home but I'm not. I really love you Sarah but I can't leave my Kids for you and I can't keep them and have you."

We both sat hugging and crying until we could cry no more. 

"Can we still see each other Harry?" she asked.

"I don't think so" I said, "I can't look at you without wanting to take you to bed. I can't see that riding well with Susan"

"When are you going back?" she asked

"Saturday" I told her.

"In that case we have four days." she said "let's go to bed"

The pattern for the week was set that day between school runs we would make the most of our time together, sometimes going out but more often making love. In the evenings I would go to see the children. Every night Susan would ask me to stay but every night I would go home. Friday was the day that I had hoped would never come but of course it did. Both Sarah and I cried our hearts out. She tried to persuade me that we could carry on the way we were. When we parted that day Sarah played her last card. 

"I am not going away," she said, "If any more skeletons come out of the cupboard I'll be waiting. I will happily take on all your children. I would even share you if that were possible. I love you Harry Anderson and I won't give up on you."

With that she got in her car and drove away.

After Sarah left I phoned Charlotte to let her know that I couldn't house sit any longer and to arrange for her to come and do an inventory. That evening when I went to see Susan and the children. I told Alex and Jacob that I had to move from the house I was living in and asked if they could help me. They were both very keen. Maddy told me I was being sexist by not including her so I had all three to help me. The next morning at nine thirty I turned up to find all three of them ready and eager to start. I drove them to the house and they helped me carry out my bags and computer and books. We stashed it all in the back of the car. Maddy said bye-bye to the house.

I deliberately drove back via the By-Pass so that the kids did not realize where I was going. When I eventually parked in the drive of their own house they were Mystified until Alex told them "Dad's coming home".

We got out of he car and for the first time in six months I used my keys to open the door. Susan saw us come in and asked Maddy "Well darling where is daddy's new house?"

"It's here mummy, daddy's moving here," she said.

I looked at Susan "If that's all right with you" I said

She threw her arms around me and said, "Of course it is all right. This is the day I have waited six months for."

Those first few days were a bit weird, as everyone seemed to be going out of their way to make me feel welcome. Susan's parents came over and I was treated to Elaine gushing all over me and a few beers that John had brought over. As things settled down I decided that I wanted a project to work on with the boys. A client of mine had just bought a farm and found a 1964 Velocette Venom Clubman in the barn. It was in a hell of a mess but he said it was mine if I wanted it. When it was delivered and I told everyone that we were going to restore it the boys thought it was great. Susan was none too keen on motorbikes but she played along and told Maddy that it was her job to photograph the project. The project was great we spent about an hour a day working on it and Alex and I got closer. Jacob also got involved but he tended to get bored more quickly. 

Susan took the call from Sarah when she asked for the children to be taken in for a paternity test. It could all have been done at home but the lab wanted to have identity verification. Susan took them all in with their documents. My life with Susan was very good and our sex life couldn't have been better, still I couldn't get Sarah out of my mind. I took to going to the same gym at the same time as we used to go just in the hope of spotting her in her skimpy little shorts. I worked hard hoping that would push her out of my head but as soon as I let my mind wander she was back. I found that I was losing my appetite and my sleeping was very disturbed. I started to lose weight again.

Around this time I started to notice differences in Susan, she started to go to the gym with me and she started to lose weight. She got a new hairstyle and changed her make up. She started to dress differently, younger, sexier. She was going out more and some of the purchases on her credit card were from London stores. If it were not for the fact that our sex life was so good I would have suspected that she was having an affair. As it happened I did not even ask her about it. Nothing seemed to matter when there was this feeling of a big hole in my chest. It was now almost two months since I left Sarah to move back home. I had thought it would get better but I still felt as bad as ever.

Through a client I got tickets for the world Superbikes championship at Donnington. I took Alex and Sarah's son Luke but when I went to pick him up I had to wait in the car for him. I couldn't trust myself to even be in the same room with her. When we got back Susan had a little surprise for me.

"I have invited Sarah over for Dinner on Friday night" she said, "She has some things she needs to talk to you about."

I was a bit alarmed "You are just trying to see how long I can keep my eyes off her" I said

Her reply surprised me "I don't care if you take her upstairs and shag her silly, as long as you don't leave me again."

The week soon passed and Friday was upon us the children had opted to eat at their normal time of six 'O' clock. Susan got changed for dinner and I couldn't believe my eyes. She came down wearing a dark red satin dress with a low neck line which showed off her cleavage and a flowing skirt As I ran my hand over her back I noticed something or rather the lack of it. 

"Are you wearing any underwear?" I asked 

"No" she said," they spoil the hang of the dress"

Alex was just going out when the doorbell rang. He opened the door and found Sarah standing there.

"Hello Alex" she said "how are you now"

"Very well thanks" said Alex " I was just going out but please come in Dad's expecting you"

I got up to meet her. She gave me one of her big smiles" Hello Harry have you missed me"

"Just about ever minute of every day" Susan called out from the kitchen.

I took her coat and took in the sight. She was wearing a silver satin dress with a neckline, which plunged almost to her navel. I looked and I would have sworn her breasts were larger. As I looked further down I noticed a small bump.

"Yes Harry you need to have a word with your ammunition supplier. Someone has been sneaking live rounds in amongst your blanks," she said with a giggle as she placed my hand on her bump.

"How long?" I asked

"About three months" she said.

Susan came out of the kitchen " I see you have heard the news Harry isn't it wonderful" she said. 

"Yes it is wonderful" I said "but how is it possible?"

"My gynaecologist says things have moved on a lot in fifteen years Harry. They now know that there are many other factors than just the number of sperm. It depends on how active they are and whether they are swimming the right way. Of course I told him that my lover's sperm would be very active and far too clever to be swimming the wrong way," Sarah told me.

"I am going to have your baby. Aren't you happy Harry? I know I am."

"Let's discuss this after dinner" Susan said as she placed the dishes on the table.

Susan excelled herself, serving us three courses of culinary magic. We talked about my work Susan's new look, and even the project of the bike restoration. When we got to the coffee Sarah gave me some more news. The house that I had lived in for those six months was now up for sale. Apparently the family were now staying abroad for some time to come and selling the property was preferable to maintaining it. She expected the price to be around £450,000. Susan immediately wanted to buy it and asked if we could afford it. I knew that it would be a push but if we could sell our current house it would be possible so I agreed to look into it. The conversation then returned to Sarah's baby.

"You are happy about it aren't you Harry?" she asked.

"Yes I am very happy about it but you must see that it complicates an already complex situation. To be honest I am having a lot of difficulty coping with the situation as it is."

"Right now I have an overwhelming desire to take you to bed." I said. I looked for a reaction from Susan but could see none. "How I would cope with seeing you regularly I don't know. And to make it worse I would be a weekend dad again."

It seemed to me that I was the only one who was getting worried about anything. Susan and Sarah looked at each other and this time it was Susan's turn to speak.

"We think you have been approaching this problem from the wrong angle Harry. You have been trying to shut Sarah out of our marriage and look what it is doing to you. When we are alone together it is as good as ever. Actually it is better than ever because I now enjoy pleasing you as much as you have always enjoyed pleasing me. However, I know that when I am not there you are miserable. I have seen the tears in your eyes. I see you trying to fill your life with things to do to take your mind off of Sarah. We think that instead of shutting her out perhaps you should lock her in."

I couldn't believe my ears was she really proposing what must be every man's dream, a ménage a trois. I sat in silence for a while.

"Are you really suggesting"? 

"That we buy a bigger bed." Susan said cutting me off. "Of course a bigger bed will need a bigger house, especially if Sarah and her children are to move in with us."

Sarah looked at me in anticipation "What do you think Harry would you like me as your second wife? I know that it would raise a few eyebrows but we can stand up to that. If you can stand up to daddy, you can stand up to anyone."

"Oh," I said, "so you know about that"

"Are you kidding, he never stops talking about you."

"Harry Anderson, balls 'o' steel that man," she said trying to mimic her father's Scottish accent.

"So what do you think Harry" Susan asked.

"Well it seems to me that you have it all worked out," I said "but are you sure that you two can get on in such a situation."

"Where do you think I have been going this last month?" Susan asked, " Sarah has been giving me the treatment she gave you and we have become like sisters. Add to that we have something in common. We are both deeply in love with you."

What could I say? I had to agree. They both got up and hugged and kissed me. We were still in the throws of a three-way hug when Alex came home. He looked at us and then looked up to the ceiling with a look that said "grown ups what can you do with them"




Secrets and Lies



The weekend flashed by. During the day I started work on my next project and prepared the presentation for the one I had just finished. In the evenings I would go in and sit with Alex until he went off to sleep and then go home. By Sunday Susan had caught up on her sleep and was more her old self. So much so that she asked what was wrong when I tried to go to sleep. It had now been more than two weeks since we made love. When we weren't in bed at the same time she could understand it but why was I feeling so tired now.

By 9.30 on Monday morning I was ringing Sarah's doorbell. When the door opened her hand came out , grabbed my shirt and pulled me in. As she closed the door she pushed me back against it.

"You're late" she said then fastened her lips to mine in a passionate kiss like the one I had experienced on Friday. I tried to protest about the late comment but she was not listening she took my hand and led me through to the kitchen. She was wearing jeans that she must have been poured into, a thin white tee shirt which showed the outline of her nipples three inch stiletto heel shoes and an excited grin. 

"I have a plan" she said. "Coffee or something stronger?"

I accepted the coffee and she led me back to the sofa. She brought in some coffee and a bag and sat down beside me.

"Do you still want to hurt Gary?"she asked

"I don't know, maybe not as much as I did on Friday but I think he should have to pay for all the hurt and the damage he's done to my marriage"

"Now think back Harry, what is it that Gary's most proud of? What was he always teasing you about?"

"His sexual prowess. - His ability to get women, women like you, and now it seems Susan, pregnant"

"So that's where we hit him. The second part's a bit difficult but attacking his sexual prowess will be a lot easier than you think. Now I need to know the answer to two questions. First, in order to do this you and I are going to have to get to know each other a lot better and I do mean a LOT better. Can you handle that Harry?"

One look at her as she edged closer to me gave the answer to that question.

"Yes, definitely"

"Good" she said reaching into the bag."The second question is do you know how to use one of these?" 

She pulled out a Sony semi-pro digital video camera complete with zoom mike.

"What I don't know I can pick up pretty quickly" I answered.

"Oh Good" she said gripping my arm with both hands and moving even closer. 

"Harry, we are going to make a porn movie starring you and me, with you doing all the things to me that Gary hasn't done for years and in some cases things I would never let him do. We could email it to all his friends, it would destroy him"

"Hold on. Now who is not thinking about the consequences? Think of the embarrassment it would cause you, and wouldn't you find it degrading doing all that stuff on camera?"

"Don't you think it is embarrassing and degrading being married to that little shit for all these years? If it hadn't been for daddy's insistence that the children need a father I would have left him years ago. Anyway we don't have to distribute it we could just threaten to, you know Harry, blackmail. You could get your son his kidney"

Had I been thinking like Harry Anderson I would have seen the flaws in her plan. As it was she got me with the last sentence and I agreed to the plan.

"Right Harry, the first stage of the plan is we get to know each other better. Come with me"

She led me upstairs and into the master bedroom. As soon as she closed the door her lips locked on mine. Our mouths opened and our tongues started to dance. It felt like my heart was rising in my chest as I felt my shirt being unbuttoned. There were more kisses as she unbuckled my belt and my trousers fell to the floor. I kicked off my shoes and stepped out of my trousers, I was standing there in my socks and boxer shorts, just looking at her.

"What happens now?" I asked

"Well Harry, you're going to undress me, then we are going to make love and talk and make love some more and so on until it's time for me to pick up the children from school and you to go to the hospital. Who knows? If you are a good boy I might even give you some lunch"

I didn't need any more encouragement. Susan had already driven a tank through our wedding vows, I considered myself free. I moved in and kissed her unbuckling her belt as I did so I had the jeans unbuttoned and unzipped but they didn't fall, they were hugging her legs too closely. Pulling her hips into mine I eased the jeans over her peachy rump then went down on one knee and alternating from one leg to the other I pushed them down her shapely legs. When I reached the floor she stepped out of them and I looked up. The sight that confronted me set me afire There at the top of her shapely legs was a perfect pubic mound covered in a lacy black thong. No hair protruded from the thong and its contrast with the milky white skin, made it really prominent. I couldn't resist the temptation to move forward and kiss it through the silky fabric. As I did so I could feel her hips move pushing it harder against my lips. I stood up and gripped the bottom of her tee shirt. As I raised the shirt she raised her arms and I had the shirt off in seconds. She had the breasts of a twenty five year old. Large enough, certainly for this man, and hardly a trace of drooping with small up turned nipples. She dropped her arms down around my neck and pulled me in to kiss me again.

As we kissed I slowly massaged her breasts then started moving my hands down. By the time I reached the waistband of her thong our lips parted. I pushed my thumbs under the waistband and continued my downward journey making sure that my finger flowed of the beautiful cheeks of her arse. I slipped down onto one knee as my hands neared the floor and she stepped out of her thong and stood there with her legs apart. I looked up and saw a perfectly trimmed triangle of hair forming an arrow head pointing to her hairless pussy. My mouth was drawn to it like a bee is to the honey pot. As I started to kiss and lick those lips her legs spread wider and she tilted her hips towards me. I found myself reaching between her legs and gripping those plump cheeks pulling her onto me. Her moans started as my tongue entered her pussy and the out across her clit, Her pussy was starting to drip when I felt her hand come down under my chin and pull me up. As I stood up I kissed her sharing the juices of her pussy with her. As we broke the kiss she looked down at the bulge in my Boxer shorts.

"Harry - that's either a pistol in your pants or you are very pleased to see me"

I laughed, it was a corny joke but still funny. 

"Who wouldn't be pleased to see you?"

She was now squatting down in front of me pulling the boxers down. As the elastic cleared the end of my dick it sprang out and bounced for while. She stopped and looked at it.

"Wow Harry that's no pistol, it's more like a bloody canon" 

"Yeah a canon that only fires blank rounds" 

In a flash she was up with a hand either side of my face and was looking into my eyes

"Oh Harry, you've already given me pleasure that Gary never did. Don't go all self pitying on me now" She smiled at me and kissed me gently.

I stepped out of my boxers a removed my socks. We were both standing there naked as the day we were born. I moved forward and she stepped back until her legs hit the edge of the bed. She sat back on the bed with her legs wide apart and as I knelt between her legs she lay back on the bed. Now I am not a guy who loves to eat pussy but I am the type who gets high on giving his partner pleasure and if that means eating her pussy then so be it. I set to with a will sucking and licking while at the same time massaging those wonderful breasts, rubbing her erect nipples as I did so. Her pubic mound rose to me rhythmically. When I started sucking and swirling my tongue around her clit the thrusts got more forceful until she started pushing my head down. Then came the cries.

"Oh Harry , Oh Harry, Oh, Oh, Oh Harreeeeee."

Her pussy became very wet. Her juices were in my mouth and all over my chin. With both her legs now over my shoulders and her hands pushing my head hard into her pussy I was finding it difficult to breathe. As she relaxed I got up. I picked her up and moved her further on to the bed. I knelt between her thighs and started kissing my way up her body. I got to her gorgeous breasts as she was ripe for sucking. I moved from one to the other sometimes sucking on just the nipple, sometimes taking as much of the breast as I could into my mouth and other times just circling her nipples with my tongue. Her hips started bucking again and soon she was brushing the end of my dick with her pussy every time she thrust upwards. 

"Take me Harry, make me yours"

As I heard this I knew it was time and leaning on one arm I positioned my dick and started to push in. I had only made love to Susan in all of the last seventeen years and was not expecting the resistance I felt to my entry. She was certainly well enough lubricated but I was still needing a lot of pressure to force my way in. At one point I thought that she was in pain and stopped. Her response was to grab both cheeks of my arse and pull me further in. I paused once fully in her then started to move in a smooth reciprocating motion. Her thrusting resumed and soon we were synchronised, her thrusting up as I thrust down. I now had my hands under her shoulders while I took the weight on my forearms. This gave me the chance to look at her beautiful face which was now moving from side to side 

"So good, So Good" she was murmuring. 

Then it hit her again. Her hips pushed down into the bed, her stomach came up to meet me and another cry came from her mouth. I took this as my cue and dropped down onto her and quickly flipped her so that she was now on top. As she came down from her orgasm. I started to circle my pelvis beneath her then pushing my heels down into the bed so that I could raise my hips. While I did this I used my fingers and finger nails on her back and her pert little bottom. Soon she was grinding her clit into my pelvis and letting out gasps as I ran my hand up the side of her body so that my thumbs brushed the side of her breasts. It was when my finger went down into her arse crack that things really started to kick off again. I could feel my pressure building and as my fingers passed over her tight little anus the bucking and grinding became almost unstoppable just as I was about to come I pushed my middle finger into her anus just up to the first knuckle she really went wild forcing herself up off my chest, thrusting her pussy down she screamed 

"Give it to me Harry, Give it to me" 

Stream after stream of my semen flooded into her and as the feeling of ecstasy subsided she collapsed back onto my chest with a single word 

"Wow1"

Minutes passed as we lay there with my dick slowly softening inside her. I felt her hand come around the back of my neck and lift my head so that I was now looking at her. She looked at me with loving eyes and said 

"Thank you Harry"

"For what?" 

"For helping me understand why it is called making love. With Gary and the few lovers I've had, sex has been something that one person does to the other to satisfy a need. This time felt like an act of love. At times it felt like we were one person. I have never felt like that before. Will it always be like that Harry?"

"I don't know" I said "I'll try my best"

"Yes" she giggled "I believe you will"

As she slipped off of me and snuggled up to my chest she said 

" Now I will tell you all about me, then you tell me all about you"

She told me how she had a privileged childhood, her father owned a number of local companies, including the haulage firm that Gary drove for. She thought she was probably a spoiled child. Her father, while being generous with his cash, was not so generous with his time, and expected his children to do as they were told without question. She had picked Gary out as a boyfriend purely because she knew her father would disapprove. Unfortunately Gary was every bit the little shit her father thought he was. He took her to a party, got her drunk then robbed her of her virginity. She couldn't even remember it happening. She had been about to break up with Gary when she discovered she was pregnant. In those days it was taken much more seriously than it is now. Her father insisted that she marry Gary 

"You've made your bed, now you must lie in it" he told her. 

Gary was none too keen so her father made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Gary would be guaranteed a job and would never have to pay a penny to support Sarah or their child. All he had to do in return was be a good husband. Gary, of course, didn't know how to be a good husband and even while she was in hospital having their child he was going out on the pull with the lads. This was something I knew to be true, at the time I still hung around with the same group. Within three months of giving birth she was pregnant again. It was not an easy pregnancy but Gary didn't care and demanded she satisfy his sexual needs no matter how she was feeling. She felt that she was not his wife so much as his personal fuck toy. As she said this she looked up at me. 

"Sorry Harry"

"What for?" 

"I seem to remember that you don't like to hear women talk like that but I couldn't think of a better way to express it" 

I was amazed that she should remember that after all those years.

"You're right" I said "but please carry on"

She went on to tell me that it was after her daughter was born that she found out that Gary had been visiting prostitutes during the time when she was off limits. That was when the fight back began. The publicity about AIDS was at its peak and she was damned if she was going to let Gary pass anything like that on to her. She refused sex without a condom. That's what led to the physical abuse. After one of their fights she had been home to see her mother. Her father had seen the fading black eye and asked simply 

"Did he do that to you?" 

Her lack of an answer was obviously answer enough because the next week Gary "accidentally" trapped his right hand between the forks of a fork truck as he was pushing them together. She soon realised that she only had to say that she had spoken to her father in order to make the colour drain from Gary's face and produce a cold sweat. Gary had a vasectomy in an attempt to get her to accept him without a condom. It didn't work and when he said if he had to use a condom he might as well not bother she told him that suited her just fine. His employer gave him the Turkish run to do and that kept him away from home for seven days at a time.

She told me about her lovers and expected me to be shocked, I wasn't. I didn't ask how many but she told me you could count them on the fingers of one hand. Most had turned out to be married all had wanted her for her body and didn't want any complications. I told her it was their loss and I really meant it. The more I got to know her the more I came to the conclusion she was a really nice person who'd been dealt a poor hand. She obviously doted on her children Luke and Daisy. They were part of the reason she was still with Gary. Becoming pregnant at eighteen meant that she had no qualifications or skills to get the sort of job she would need to support them all and her father had made it clear that if she left, he wouldn't continue to support them.

When she finished she looked at me.

"See what a mess my life is Harry?"

I just held her to me feeling the swell of those gorgeous breasts pushing into my chest and side. Something was troubling me so while she played with my chest hair.

"Why Me?"

"Why you what Harry"

"Well you said that no man has come near you without a condom in ten years or more"

"That's right"

"But I didn't use one and you didn't ask me to. So why Me"

"Because you are Harry Anderson" 

"Boring, barren Harry Anderson" I responded

She slapped my chest, raised herself up on an elbow and looked at me. 

"I've told you about the self pity Harry, it's really unattractive in a man."

"OK" she continued "because Harry Anderson will have been totally faithful to his wife since the day they got married so there'll be no chance of infection. Because if Harry Anderson got me pregnant, he'd stand by me, no matter what. If that makes you boring Harry then I am happy to be bored. Oh how I wish I had met you before that bastard got me pissed and got me pregnant."

"Now it is your turn Harry."

I was just about to start talking when I realised that her head was moving down my chest, her hand was already caressing my balls and the canon was being primed to fire again. When her lips closed over the head of my penis I was in ecstasy. Susan very rarely did this and it was always a struggle to get her to even try. When I felt things coming to a boil I told her that if she took me in her mouth it would be a while before I would be able to come again. She raised her head off of my dick and looking me straight in the eye.

"So what do you want Harry"

I thought about it for a minute and told her 

"I want to make love to you again" 

She gave me the broadest smile, 

"Oh Yes please Harry. Yes. Yes. Yes." she said as she straddled me once again.

Our second time was equally as good as the first and it was not just the sex. Holding her so close, feeling her respond to my touch all of this filled me with a warm glow and when my finger touched her back it was like electricity flowing through them. It was 1.30pm by the time she rolled off of me again and we both needed the shower. We washed each other clean and much to my surprise as she washed my legs she suddenly took me into her mouth again and even more surprisingly I responded to the occasion. Soon I could feel myself pumping thread after thread of my man juice into her eager mouth. She stood up and appeared to be rolling it around in her mouth before swallowing. "Woohoo Harry" she shouted, "a three loads a day man. I am impressed." 

She kissed me and our tongues danced together then we hugged as the water sprayed over us.

Once we had dried each other off and got dressed we went down to the kitchen and Sarah asked what I fancied. Having heard of her privileged upbringing I reverted to my working class roots and asked for a bacon sandwich. As we ate I gave her my story of the lad raised on a council estate, son of a farm labourer and a cleaner. My Secondary modern school education. Having to work to buy things like records, films for my camera etc. I did paper rounds and shelf filling at the supermarket, anything that gave me some spending cash. My love of Science and Maths made me odd in the eyes of my contemporaries. I told her of my move to the technical college to study engineering and how the rest of the crowd laughed and told me I should get a job on the buildings or delivery vans earning real money. When I went to university to study electronics they really flipped telling me that I thought I was too good for them now. However, I came home in the holidays and worked for whoever would pay me, hanging out with the same old crowd, my school friends, the mates I had known all my life.

When I came back with my degree in electronics I got a job with a local engineering firm. I had not been back six months before I met Susan who was working as a children's social worker. I told her of our difficulties conceiving, of my low sperm count and of our joy at the birth of Alex followed by Maddy and Jacob.

She listened to it all then said to me "So you were happy Harry"

"Yes" I admitted "but it was all a lie. For fourteen years I have been living a lie, thinking I was the important man in their lives. Now I find Susan has been screwing Gary and god knows who else. I thought she loved me but if she did why did she do this to me. It would've been kinder to leave me as soon as she knew I wasn't going to give her children."




Secrets and Lies



She pulled my head to her breast. 

"God they've really screwed you haven't they Harry" then she chuckled.

"What's so funny?" 

"Don't you see? They've screwed you, now you've screwed me so you're sort of equal"

"Ah! I would have to screw you for the next fourteen years to be equal"

She gave me that light up the room smile.

"That is not beyond the realms of possibility Harry"

Before I left she made me promise to return the next day.

By the time we were finished talking it was time for her to pick up the children from school and for me to leave for the Hospital. I was early arriving at the Hospital and noticed straight away that Susan was much happier. She told me that Alex was fairing well on the dialysis and that they planned to send him home after his next session on Wednesday. I told her that was great and she should stay home on Wednesday and prepare the house for his homecoming. I would sit with him and bring him home after his treatment. I also told her I had to go to my clients on Thursday to do the presentation of the latest project. This was a lie of course but I figured that I could arrange it, so making the lie true. In fact I was trying to see as little of her as possible up to the day of my departure, which I had planned for Friday. Before she left Susan asked me not to stay late tonight. 

"I'll cook us a proper dinner tonight and we can eat about eight" she said. "You're looking very tired. I think you have been working too hard."

I found Alex sitting in a chair in the ward watching Television. He told me it was just boring stuff and instead started asking me about work. As we talked he said to me 

"Dad, you're really good with machines aren't you." 

I told him that I thought I was and thankfully so did my clients.

"Don't you sometimes wish that you could understand people the way you understand machines?"

"Wow that is a deep one. Yes sometimes I do wish that. What makes you ask?"

"Some thing's up with mum. When she's not fussing around me, she just sits and stares at me. She thinks I haven't noticed but I have and it is really spooky."

"It's probably just hitting home how close we came to losing you" 

I changed the subject and asked what dialysis was like?

"Incredibly boring. You have to sit there for hours with nothing to do while the machine does its job"

By seven thirty I was on my way home. No matter how I feel about Susan there are two things I can't criticise. She's a good cook and a great mother. That night she excelled herself. The food was excellent we opened a bottle of wine and when we sat on the sofa to watch television she became very affectionate. I put this down to a guilty conscience so the more affectionate she got the angrier I became. To prevent my anger spilling over I told her she was right that I was very tired and went to bed. In seventeen years I'd rarely passed up on Susan's amorous advances but I knew I had to. In my current frame of mind I would want to hurt her and that was something I didn't think I could live with, so I did a good job of pretending to be asleep.

I woke to find myself alone in bed with the smell of bacon wafting up from the kitchen. I quickly showered and went down to find myself presented with a Full English Breakfast. This normally happened on high days and holidays so I had to ask what had brought it on. 

"My man needs building up" was all she would say, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. 

I was beginning to feel like a bastard for what I was about to do but then I thought "My deception had gone on for only a few days and I'm feeling like this. If she really loved me how could she do it for fourteen years and not be broken by the guilt?" 

Following breakfast I went straight to my office and made two calls. The first was to set up the presentation for my most recent project, the second was to the Telecom company to divert all incoming calls on my office line to the new mobile that I had bought. That I thought would enable me to work normally through the separation.

Susan still had not left for the hospital and seemed genuinely disappointed when I said I had to go out to meet a prospective client. 

"Can't you just take some time off? I am going in to the hospital later, I was hoping we could spend some time together" 

"That's the trouble with being self employed I" told her, "You have to plan for things like that"

I gave her a peck on the cheek and told her I would see her later at the hospital.

Sarah was ready and waiting for me when I arrived. She was already naked, giving me visual pleasure that I will never forget. She took my hand and ran up the stairs guiding me once more to her bedroom. She quickly stripped off my clothes. 

"Take me Harry, any way you choose"

This may conjure up all sorts of images for you but I'd been married to the same woman for seventeen years and we had got into a certain rut so I gave her what had given her so much pleasure the previous day. As she lay on my chest telling me how much she had enjoyed it she asked about my experience. 

"Harry, you know if I'd said that to most guys we would've been doing some really kinky stuff. Now I really love what you do to please me, and it really does, but what is it that really pleases you?"

"Really pleasing you" I replied "I suppose, to use the modern terminology, I really get off on giving my partner pleasure."

"Oh Harry you really are priceless. Susan doesn't know what she's losing."

"She soon will." I said.

For quite some time we just lie there, me on my back, her on my chest. I could think of nowhere on earth I would rather be. Eventually I asked her "Well what are we going to do today, we told our life stories yesterday so it can't be that"

She raised herself up to look at me. "No Harry, today we are going to look at some porn." before I could say anything she added "Well if we're going to make one we need to study the competition"

I couldn't help but laugh. 

"Well I can't fault your logic" 

She got up to put the disc in the DVD player. I got up and quickly pulled on shirt trousers and shoes.

"Harry" she said sternly. "You're not running out on me"

"No I just need to get something from the car"

When I came back with a pad and pencil she went into fits of laughter.

"What's so funny?" 

"You certainly are unique Harry. Your mistress has just told you that you are going to lie in bed and watch porn together and you go out for a pencil and paper. What are you going to do, make notes?"

Such hysterical laughter is contagious and I could see how funny it seemed. Just as she was calming down I said 

"Yes as a matter of fact I am going to make notes." 

We both collapsed in fits of laughter again holding each other as we laughed then she said 

"To hell with the porn Harry, make love to me now"

I did as she asked and tried to make it as long and slow as I could. When we recovered she looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "Harry Anderson you're so good for me, I can't remember when I ever felt like this"

I gave her a playful slap on the bottom and reached for the remote. We lay there watching the porn videos and she chuckled every time I made notes. With each position or treatment of the women I asked 

"Have you tried that" and she answered and if the answer was no I asked, "Do you want to" If the answer was yes" I asked "do you like it".

By the time I had finished I had a list of likes and dislikes and one "Never done it but want to try" I showed her my notes. She just laughed it was a list of cuts camera numbers angles for positions etc. 

"I lie in bed with you to watch porn and instead of being turned on you analyse it".

"Well you want me to get it right don't you" was all I could say.

She slapped my arse and sent me to the shower. She was hot on my heals and we had the most delicious shower together.

After we'd dried each other and got dressed I outlined the plan for Alex coming home and giving Susan one happy day with him before I left. I knew what I was doing would be devastating for her but I really couldn't deal with the deception. I didn't know whether it was still going on and I think I was too scared to find out. Sarah took it all in then started counting the days before pointing out that because of the children being home all day at the weekend and Gary not leaving till Tuesday morning, It would be a week before we saw each other again.

"Seven days Harry, that's just too long." she said. 

It seems crazy now but up to that point we hadn't exchanged numbers. We did this before we parted with a promise to keep in touch. As I arrived at the hospital my phone beeped to indicate a message received. It was from Sarah.

"7 days 2 long. Will thnk of sumthing CU soon" 

I smiled to myself and thought "Yes I bet she does"

I was still smiling when I met Susan.

"That's what I like to see. My man with a smile on his face" 

She put her hands round the back of my neck and reached up and kissed me lightly on the lips. She was very happy and told me everything was fine and that we could take Alex home after dialysis the following day. She told me not to be late for dinner at eight, kissed me again and left.

It was really good to see Alex looking so well, and we chatted happily. He was still a bit worried about his mother and that made me feel selfish since I was about to make things a lot worse. However I couldn't forget what I'd found out and the relationship between his mother and father would never be the same again. I still thought that a break was better for everyone in the end.

That evening passed off okay, with me claiming that I had to work and going to bed very late. The next day I went to the hospital and left Susan sprucing up the house and arranging to bring Maddy and Jacob home from her mother's. By mid afternoon Alex was free to leave and I drove him home to tumultuous welcome. He really was the centre of attention, which suited me fine. I had to work on my presentation for the following day.

The presentation went well and I could look forward to payment for my work. It kept me out of the house all day and I worked that evening before another late night. Friday was 'D' day and I got Alex to the hospital for 10.30am I made him a present of my old Phone saying that it would ease the boredom. We were back home for mid afternoon and Susan was thinking about dinner.

"What would you like for dinner tonight Harry?" 

"I won't be having dinner tonight Susan, I'm leaving" I said.

She stood there with a mystified look on her face. 

"What do you mean, you're leaving? What are you leaving?" 

"You Susan, I'm leaving you. You'll find a short explanation on my desk in the office, along with my house keys. I've already taken the stuff I need and I hope you'll allow me to come back and pick up the rest when I've found somewhere to stay. I suggest we take it in turns to take Alex for dialysis and if it is O.K. With you I'll have them every other weekend." "I'll be in touch" I said and turned for the door.

It took her a few seconds for my words to register, then she ran to my office to find my note. It was more of a pictogram than a note. I had made it using the photos I had found in the attic. It read "Susan + Gary = Alex" and in words underneath "When were you going to tell me?" I heard her scream as I went out of the door. As I was backing out of the drive she came running out of the house. She reached the car window and with tears running down her face she cried out. 

"Harry don't do this we have to talk." 

As I reached the road I wound down the window.

"Susan , the time for talking was fourteen years ago. Don't you think you've left it a bit late?" 

I drove away.

I hadn't realised how everybody takes sides in a break up or how quickly they choose sides. Everyone I knew, loved Susan and that includes my own family. When I arrived at my brother's house his wife Wendy came out to meet me. She accused me of not being completely honest with Bob and told me that my mother had called asking if I was there. She had told her that I was not which was true at the time.

"We won't lie for you Harry. You know you love Susan and no matter what either of you has done you owe it to yourselves to sort it out."

I asked if that meant I couldn't stay and she relented slightly.

"Not for long. You're Bob's brother and we love you but we won't be piggy in the middle in this"

I told her that I would find somewhere in the following week, and went up to the spare room to work. That evening I got a text. It was from Sarah. It read " 7 days 2long. CU 2morrow 4 dinner at The palm 7.30pm B there". I replied "look 4ward 2 it"

I also received a number of emails from Susan The first one read "Harry, I love you and only you. Please come home and we can talk about this."

"Harry, It is not what you think please call me."

I replied to this one with a simple question. "Can you guarantee that I am the father of our children?"

Her response said it all. "Please Harry come home and let's talk about this, if not for my sake, then for the sake of the children. We all love you and want you home."

My response was short and to the point "I take that as a NO then. I am now putting you on my email black list meaning all future emails from you will be discarded by the server."

I also received a number from Alex asking me what was going on but all I could do was to refer him to his mother and tell him I would pick him up Tuesday for dialysis.

I spent the next day touring the estate agents looking for somewhere affordable to live. It wasn't easy. My income from the business was good by most standards but a second property would make a hell of a dent in it and would mean that I wouldn't be able to save much for the kids college fund. Still I had the night to look forward to and by seven thirty I was sitting in the bar of the Palm Restaurant waiting for my date. The Palm was probably the best restaurant in town and I was feeling somewhat under dressed. I was wearing a linen jacket chinos and an open necked shirt while most male diners were wearing dinner jackets or morning suits. Sarah added to my discomfort when she turned up in a full length evening gown with a short fur cape covering her shoulders. As she came in and handed the cape to one of the girls I felt a lump in my throat and I was almost unable to speak. She walked over to me and greeted me with two kisses on each cheek 

"Harry darling, have you been waiting long?"

"Only ten minutes" I lied. "Would you like an aperitif?"

We settled on Kir and I ordered these while she spoke to the Maître 'd' with whom she was on first name terms.

"Table will be ready in ten minutes" she said as she came to sit beside me.

She told me that her mother was sitting for her at home, the children were much too old for it to be babysitting.

"So Harry, was it really too beastly?"

I explained to her how things had happened the previous day and as I was doing so we were called through for our table. As soon as we were seated I continued with the whole sorry saga including the emails.

"How do you feel now Harry" 

I told her I was not proud of myself. I felt that I had hurt Susan badly but didn't see how I could have left without hurting her. Nevertheless I still felt like a mean bastard.

"But you're hurting too Harry, I understand that."

I told her how Wendy didn't want me to stay and how my mother was trying to get hold of me so she could tell me to go back and how I felt somewhat isolated. I said I knew if I told my family my real reasons for leaving the roles would be reversed and my family would not give Susan the time of day but worse still my mother would probably want nothing more to do with my children. I didn't want that. And what if someone told the children? No, I would rather stay the villain of the piece. I knew I still loved her but I couldn't trust her.

From time to time we were interrupted by people seeking orders or bringing food and wine. Occasionally she reached over and squeezed my hand. I felt lifted after I'd unburdened myself to her. After we ordered the sweets I looked up to find her staring at me quite intently. I asked what was wrong. She countered with a question 

"How old are you Harry, forty four, forty five?"

"Thirty Nine" I said indignantly.

"I'll bet you have had that hair style since school and those glasses just have to go. You are going to be my project Harry, I am going to transform you into a sexy thirty five year old"

"Like You" I said

She laughed "Yes like me."

She continued to tell me how she was going to improve my image right up to the time when the Brandy arrived. "What's your most pressing problem Harry, a place to stay?" 

"Yes that would be my most immediate problem"

"And it has to be inexpensive, a place you can work and a place you can take the children, Yes?"

"Yes" I agreed.

As she got out her phone a waiter came over and told her they were not allowed in the restaurant she would have to go to the bar. She left me for a while then came back all smiles.

"Four bedroom house, just out of town, you pay all utility bills, your own council tax, keep the house and garden maintained and pending Charlotte's approval you can have it for six months. You will be house sitting. We go to see Charlotte on Monday at 10. Oh I nearly forgot to tell you Gary is off to Turkey a day early so we can see each other on Monday." 

I called the waiter and asked for the bill. He told me that everything was taken care of. Sarah chuckled 

"Daddy's treat, except he doesn't know"

I grinned and got her cape from the cloakroom 

"Well what now Harry?" 

I had assumed she would have to get back but apparently mummy was staying all night. 

"I do hope you are not planning to drive home, not after that wine and Brandy"

"No I was prepared for that, I've booked in to the Travelodge around the corner."

"You've got a room Harry? Then what are we waiting for?"

From my hotel room she called a taxi at around 1.30am and left me to recover. In the morning I went back to Bob's house. I told Wendy I would be out of their hair sooner rather than later she was clearly embarrassed but I could understand her position. Up in the spare room it was time for work so out came the laptop and I made a start. It was hard to concentrate on work with all that was going on in my head. Then I got an email from Alex "On Dialysis, bored stiff, I need to talk to you Dad."

I replied "Is Mum there"

In very short order came his reply "No. She has Maddy and Jacob to look after you know"

I shut the laptop down and left for the hospital. As soon as I got there I realised I had been kidding myself that I could handle things with minimum casualties, in a break up everyone gets hurt and Alex was bringing this home with a vengeance. He was quite aggressive right from the start.

"Why did you leave us Dad?" He really knew where to strike. 

I tried to tell him that I hadn't left them only their mother and that as soon as I got somewhere to live they would be welcome any time.

"But why can't you live with us, it's what we all want, even Mum"

"Right now son, I can't live in the same house as your mother. I can't tell you why, that would be wrong. Your mother has to tell you that" 

I was trying to remain calm but I could see that he didn't understand.

"Mum can't tell us anything all she does is cry - she did say it was all her fault, that she did something unforgivable" 

Susan obviously doesn't want them to hate me I thought but I can't tell him why without destroying him. What a bloody mess.

Alex started back at me again 

"So what is it that can't be forgiven Dad? You always told us everyone deserves a second chance. Doesn't that include mum"

A direct hit. I was now in tears.