58 comments/ 97372 views/ 42 favorites Roxy By: thecelt I wrote this story some time ago but had trouble finishing it. With LadyC's urging, I did. I hope you like it. Edited with encouragement by LadyCibelle. I was sitting on a stool bellied up to the bar in a small neighborhood place near my hotel. I was in Boston; just finishing a deal that would make me penniless and allow me to do whatever the hell I wanted. The trick was to decide how to do that and still be rich. Confused? I hope so. That would mean Roxy's lawyers would be as well. All of this came about because of what I found out about my wife. That knowledge was not something I went looking for, but it found me just the same. It was complicated to say the least and my deal would make it even worse. Worse for her. The place was almost empty, which was one of the main reasons I picked it. The barkeep walked toward me after the only other customer in the place walked out the door. It was still early so I knew I wasn't holding him up. He stopped in front of me, gave me the once over, then mentioned I had been there for some time. He told me his name was Sam and asked me mine. I figured what the hell and told him, because I was impressed that he didn't look away. "Good to meet you Sam. My name is Jim, Jim Evans. Thanks for the ear and the beer. I don't want to go home tonight and I don't want to spend the time alone in my hotel room so this is as good a place as any, and probably better than most." "If you're looking to get lucky Jimbo, this ain't a prime place for it. Might try the sports bar down the street." He actually had the grace not to look embarrassed when he said this. "Sam, take a look at me. We both know that I look like something out of a nightmare so do you think I expect to get lucky? All I want is a couple of beers and some peace and quiet. Present company excepted of course." Sam wiped the bar in front of me, and instead of responding, asked if I was ready for another. At my nod, he produced a tall, cold Budweiser. It was my fourth of the night but who was counting. When he brought it, he said I must have a story to tell and if I wanted, he'd be happy to listen. I hesitated: I was trying to come to grips with my problems but they were very personal and I wasn't sure about sharing them with a stranger. I took the fresh Bud and pushed the empty away. I was pacing myself tonight. I certainly didn't want to keep thinking the thoughts that wouldn't let me be, but I didn't want to get drunk and pass out. The bartender took the empty and put it in an empty case, then swiped the bar once more before going back to leaning and wiping glasses. I finally said "what the hell" to myself and decided to tell him my tale. It wasn't as if he gave a shit, but I felt better talking, and a truly disinterested party was a bonus. As I readied myself to tell him my tale, I had to admit to myself that I wasn't actually angry. That was the most surprising thing. I should be anxious, on edge, hopping out of my shoes, but I wasn't any of those things. I was just calm and cool. I guess that's what happens when your world collapses. Sam took his rag, swiped the bar in front of me, flipped the rag over his shoulder and leaned toward me. He was ready to listen as only a bartender could. My Story: "Well Sam, it begins nine years ago when I was in college. I was fresh faced, believed in miracles and ready to grab for the brass ring. I was smart as hell, eager as the proverbial beaver and ready to make my fortune. I was working on a Master's in engineering and I was in my final year. I was just filling in my schedule since I only needed credits to fill out my minors. My major was Chemical Engineering and I had completed all of the requirements for that and was taking some easy courses. That's when I met her. "She was an education major and I shared a class with her my senior year; a math class. For me it was a credit for a minor in math. For her it was part of her major. She was failing miserably and she saw one of my papers when the prof handed them back after a quiz. I had a perfect score, of course, while hers was a 60%. I wasn't paying any attention to her as I left class but she was right behind me. As I exited the building, trying to decide whether to head back to my apartment or go over to the student union for a coke, she caught up to me and tugged on my sleeve. I stopped and turned around to see who it was. "Seeing her almost made me run in terror. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I had always worshipped her from afar, so to speak. Now here she was, right in front of me and apparently wanted to talk to me. This had to be a joke, a cruel hoax to humiliate me, so I stood stock still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I expected she would do something for her friends who were probably watching, waiting for her to humiliate the ugly guy. Then she surprised me even more: she spoke to me." "Pardon me. I'm Roxanne Bowers and I'm in your class. The one you just left." "As if I didn't know that, Sam! Of course I knew that! I just couldn't remember my name or where in the hell I was! I swallowed, did it again and tried to find some tiny bit of moisture that would allow my stuck tongue to break loose from the roof of my mouth. Finally, I opened my mouth and squeaked "I know. I'm J. . Jim Evans." "Hi Jim. I wondered if I could buy you a coke and ask you for a great big favor. Would that be alright?" "Rather than try to speak again, I just nodded affirmatively. She began walking toward the Student Union and I sort of shuffled along beside her. As we walked, she started talking and telling me about herself. I listened with intense concentration so as not to miss a single word she said. I planned on repeating this conversation verbatim to myself when my right hand and I had a date later tonight. She continued all the way to the Union and I listened just as long. By the time we arrived, I knew all about her. "I knew her name, where she was from, that she was an only child whose parents died in a car crash when she was ten. She was raised by an aunt and uncle who were OK but didn't really know how to care for a ten year old. She was on her own a lot but she was pretty independent as a result. She did OK in school and her parents left enough in an insurance policy for her to go to college. She wanted to be a teacher, sort of. Actually what she wanted was to meet some rich boy and get married and live the life of luxury. She thought that made her a horrible person but I said it wasn't too unusual for most girls to feel that way. She said she didn't have a boyfriend and couldn't take the time since school was so hard that studying took all her free time and she really did want to complete her education. "We got our cokes, took a table and she finally asked me if I would tutor her in math and chemistry. She was not doing well in either and she wanted to be sure she could pass. She saw that I always got perfect scores so she decided I would be the best one to tutor her. She offered to pay me the going rate and I hesitated before agreeing. I didn't need the money for a lot of reasons, not the least being I was on a full ride with a stipend. "The other thing was who I was. I didn't look any different then as I do now, Sam. I've always been homely; too skinny; too tall; too everything bad. I'm not handsome; hell, I'm not even close to good looking. My face is long and I look like a horse, which was my nickname in high school by the way. And my personality is for shit. I clam up if I meet a girl and in social situations, I suck. As I passed puberty, I started to lose my hair and got a belly. Even though I work out a lot, it makes no difference. God gave me a body that nobody else wanted. When I met her, I didn't go out much, didn't date, wasn't in a fraternity and never left campus to go home. But with all that, and foolish as it probably was, I didn't want to discourage this opportunity. "We agreed on the deal, she told me to come to her place for an hour each night during the week. I agreed, she gave me her address and phone number and we parted. She smiled at me, held my hand for an extra few seconds before turning and walking away. With her touch my blood had begun to course through my body with a heat that scared me. I remained rooted to the spot as I watched her walk. That was payment enough for me as I headed back to my room, my mind in a pink haze of happiness. Me and my right hand had a lot to do together that night. "I began to teach her math my way. I think I told you that I was smart? Well, I'm sort of a genius and math was one of my first loves. I taught her tricks and showed her the neat things you could do when you understood that math was something that humans invented and it had rules. She caught on quick and soon began to find that the class was really easy when you understood the principles. Her grades picked up and she did well the remainder of the course. "Next we took on Chemistry. This was basic chemistry and I simply had her memorize the structures, name scheme, explained the atomic structure and how reactions could be balanced and she began to slowly lose her fear of the unknown. While she didn't do as well in Chemistry as she did in math, she still passed with ease. "During this time, we began to talk about ourselves and the things we wanted out of life. I found her dreams to be rather simple. She wanted to be taken care of and she liked the things life could offer. She saw teaching only as a means to allow herself to spend as little time working as possible and she hoped to fall in love with a rich man. She wanted freedom to travel and meet people. She was actually very shallow as a person, but I didn't care. The one thing that surprised me was that she didn't seem to realize how beautiful she was. She seemed to think that she was pretty enough but not very smart and that turned guys off. Naïve? I would guess. "I finally told her about myself, my ambitions to be the best at whatever I tried and my own background. I was the only son of a self made millionaire. Dad had invented several self contained power sources that could be used to provide portable power for all kinds of vehicles. He had patented his ideas and was the owner of Evans Industrial Fabrications, a large factory near Toledo that produced power sources for the military. He had several contracts that were good for many more years and each provided a nice profit. Since dad was always working, mom raised me and was always around to make sure my world was in control and I was safe. She was also very bright and showed me the value of an education. She home schooled me until high school and then when my grades were top of the class, she helped me gain a full scholarship to Ohio State. "I inherited my brains from both mom and dad. They were both very bright and dad was a genius. The one problem was that my dad was butt-ugly, and so was mom. It seems they were attracted to each other since no one else would give them the time of day, which was fine by them. They were in love and it was solid and real. I was raised in that world, surrounded by love, and it made me a better man and human being. However, along with dad's brains, I also inherited his looks and mom's didn't help out any either. To say I was ugly was an understatement. Always had been and I knew it. But hey, as the bible says: He gives and He takes away. I was content with what I was. "My world was always solidly in control thanks to mom and dad. I had no thoughts of anything but my education and I pursued it with total commitment. I was happy and I was content until a drunk driver took them both away from me. In one drunken act, he destroyed my safe and secure world and forced me out into the light of chaos which was life without them. I was nineteen at the time and I had just started college but with this disaster, I dropped out and went back home. It hit me hard Sam. Harder than anything else in my entire life. They were my world, my source of love and laughter. When they left this earth, so did most of my will to live. I thought about following them but, with time, I came to understand that chance rules and we have no choice but to live with it. So, I did. Since dad had no will, and mom's will was all we had to go by, hers took precedence and I inherited everything. I was suddenly forced to take control of my father's business interests and try to understand what he did all his life. He had years to grow into what he became. I had days, weeks, to do the same. "Well Sam, I managed and found I had a knack for knowing what to do and when the best time to do it was. I remembered who was who and whom dad trusted, and I worked with those people until I had the business under full control. I worked my ass off for almost four years until I felt things were beginning to make sense. Once I was satisfied that things could run without my constant supervision, I appointed one of the long time managers to run things for me. Dad trusted him and so did I. That left me time to go back to college. Believe it or not Sam, I desperately wanted to complete my degree. I was rich then, but it made no difference. Education was my goal and I never failed to achieve the goals I set for myself. My full scholarship was still in effect so I returned to Ohio State and began my quest for a degree. I was now twenty five, with an income that guaranteed I would never have to work another day in my life. "But Sam, that wasn't enough for me. My goal was to be the best and I needed what college could teach me. Even though I was way ahead of everyone else, I took my time and studied all I could while I finished my degrees. I was working on a Master's by then. I also used the labs and the equipment at Ohio State to work on some things of my own. I had several patents by the time I graduated. Education was like the fuel that fired my creative engines. "That was my life until that final year when I met Roxy. That began the greatest time of my life. She and I worked together to get her grades up and while doing it, we sort of began to see each other socially as well. I was constantly surprised when she would call me on the phone just to talk and share her day. I listened to every word she spoke and filed it all away in that place in my heart I kept for just her. I was constantly on the alert for that innuendo, that uncontrolled remark that would indicate she felt as everyone else did: I was too ugly. But it never came and I began to believe that to her, it didn't matter. I convinced myself. She changed my life that final year in college. After her, Sam, I could never again face the prospect of being alone. "As the year progressed, I finally asked her out on a real date and to my surprise, she accepted. We went to dinner, a movie where she let me hold her hand, and then I walked her back to her dorm. At the door, she reached up and kissed my cheek before slipping in the door. That was the beginning of a dream for me. We went everywhere together and when the inevitable looks came when people saw her with me, she simply ignored them. To my surprise, I don't think she even noticed them. How rare was that? "We dated all that year and just before graduation I decided to ask her to marry me. It would mean she would continue her education but I would buy a place in Columbus and she could live at home with me and I could help her as much as before. I made up a plan and memorized all the questions she might have when I asked her. I even considered that she might not want to marry me since she was so beautiful and I was what I was. She might just want to remain friends. But she had never mentioned anything like that before and I had the courage to think that she could overlook that. In my heart, I knew that might be the deal breaker, but I had to try. That was who I was. I always went for it regardless of the risks. "Sam, can you imagine my surprise when she said 'yes' when I proposed? I mean, for damn sake! Look at me and then look at her. She's hot! She's everything I'm not. She's beautiful, built like a brick shithouse, a natural blonde with blue eyes that you simply want to dive into and a personality that makes everyone love her. Me, I'm a nerd, a clod, butt ugly with a homely face and a body that needs work. Most people's eyes just roll over in their heads when I start to speak. Look at you for Christ's sake. It's all you can do just to pay attention when I order a beer. Have to ask me twice just to be sure you even heard me." Sam was wiping that glass in his hand as if he had to rid it of some infestation. He was leaning toward me, trying to pay attention, but you could see it was hard. His eyes tended to wander away every few seconds before sliding back to meet mine. The place was empty but it was still an hour and a half to closing. He had little choice but to stay close. To make his job easier, and to insure he might give me a few more minutes before becoming terminally bored to death, I showed him her picture. It was the one I kept in my wallet: the one of her in a bikini on the beach during our honeymoon. I was also in the picture but few people even noticed that. I watched as his eyebrows rose and his mouth fell open. "Holy Shit! Is that your wife? She's fucking incredible! You lucky bastard!" He had trouble keeping his hands on the glass, wanting to grab the picture for himself. Not going to happen. I was used to that reaction. "Yeah, that's her. That's my lovely wife. My life partner. The woman of my dreams. Actually, make that nightmares. She's a fucking slut and soon to be ex-wife. When I'm finally divorced, I'll give you her number." He was no longer fixated on the picture, the idea of having her number and that she was a slut more important, so I put it away again and watched as his eyes slowly clouded over as I once again began to talk. "So, now that you know what she looks like, and the proof of what I am is right here in front of you, I see that you know where this is heading Sam. Of course, I treated her like a princess and let her have anything she wanted. I bought her a car, more clothes than she could ever wear, diamonds, fur coats, anything at all she expressed a desire for. And I never tried to prevent her from doing whatever she felt like. She did very little at first: always home in the evening when I came in, always had dinner on the table and cold beer waiting when I came in the door. And at bedtime, the sex was incredible. She couldn't do enough for me. Anything I asked, she did. And she allowed me to do anything to her I wanted. She told me that she never knew it could be so good. And I believed her Sam. We shared everything. It was wonderful. "It was three years later, and after trying for some time to have a child, we went to see a fertility specialist. We found we couldn't have children. It was her, so the doctor said, and that made her very unhappy. I told her we could adopt, select any child she wanted but she wanted none of that. After that, she began to withdraw from me, only not physically. Not then at least. Sex was still as good as ever but she seemed to withdraw from me in other ways. We stopped laughing together; going out less, spending time together, and she seemed uninterested in my work. She simply stopped caring about my life in general. "I tired on several occasions to talk to her about it but she claimed nothing was wrong. She would pretend things were back to normal but within a day or two it was the same as before. What bothered me the most was why she would be angry at me for something that wasn't her fault. I never blamed her, never mentioned that it was too bad we couldn't have our own child. I told her time and time again that I loved her and not being able to have children didn't change that. She seemed as if she accepted that but she continued to withdraw from me. And she began to find places to go and things to do that kept her out until late in the evenings. I was not happy with that and I did put my foot down, promising her that if she couldn't be home in the evenings to be with me, we had a problem that would have to be dealt with. She slowed her behavior some but not completely. Roxy I have always known that I was just as attracted to women as to men. Sometimes, even more so. However, the opportunity to enjoy a woman had eluded me until I met Roxy. I had just moved into my new apartment the previous night and was getting ready to spend the day unpacking. I barely heard the knock at the door over the music I was listening to. I opened the door and there she was in all of her splendor. She was about average height with long curly black hair and a curvy figure. I felt an instant attraction to her. She explained to me that she had recently moved in next door and knew the difficulty of unpacking alone. "Would you like some help?" she asked. I smiled and said, "yes." It would help me get the work done and allow me to get to know Roxy better. In reality I didn't really have that much left to unpack as I had done some of it the night before, but there was no way I was going to turn her away. As we unpacked, we talked about our lives and problems. Her girlfriend had walked out on her a few months back and she was just now starting to get over it. I was reveling in my good fortune, she liked women. Yeah. I complained to her about my ex-husband and in the end we both agreed we were much better off without them. It took us about 3 hours to finish the unpacking. The last thing to be done was hanging a picture on the wall. Roxy offered to hold the ladder for me. I slipped slightly as I was climbing back down the ladder. Oops. Roxy reached up to steady me and her hand lingered on my ass for a bit longer than necessary. I instantly felt all tingly. She slowly removed her hand and I got down off the ladder. When we made eye contact I felt something pass between us. We decided that after all of our hard work we deserved a break. I ordered us a pizza while she went back to her place to get a bottle of wine. We had a picnic on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was quite cozy. The crackling of the fire was very soothing and romantic. I felt very comfortable with her, like I had always known her. We talked and laughed and had a great time. I turned my head toward her to say something but when I did her brown eyes were sparkling with mischief and she slowly leaned in and kissed me, a rock your world kind of kiss. There was nothing I could do except go with it, there was nothing else I wanted to do. We kissed like that for quite a while. Why hurry when it felt so good. When we took a breath I explained to her that I had never been with a woman before and that I was unsure of how to go about things. Roxy smiled and assured me I was doing fine and to let her guide me. I wholeheartedly agreed. I suggested that it would be a good idea to move to the bedroom where we could be more comfortable. I took her by the hand and led her to my room. When we got to the bed she spun me around and kissed me. I went weak in the knees. Roxy asked (perhaps demanded would be more accurate) me to remove her shirt. I did so without hesitation. She had on a very sexy red bra. After I spent a few minutes admiring how wonderful she looked, I unclasped it and let it fall to the floor. Her breasts were glorious. I would describe them as a large C cup with dark perfectly sized nipples. I leaned in to kiss her and while doing so I reached up and cupped her breasts in my hands. They felt so soft. I could feel how fast her heart was beating and I knew she liked what I was doing. I kissed my way down her neck and chest until I reached a very hard nipple. I slowly licked around it until I couldn't resist gently sucking her nipple into my mouth. She tasted so good. I continued teasing her nipples until she grew impatient with me. She took off my T-shirt and exposed my breasts to her ravaging mouth. Wow. She sure was good at this. I couldn't prevent myself from moaning my pleasure. After she had thoroughly pleasured my breasts, Roxy shoved me back on the bed and removed my shorts and panties. I felt very exposed under her intense gaze. She smiled. I relaxed. She climbed on the bed next to me and gently stroked me from my toes to my lips. I was on fire. Finally, I felt her hand descend towards my soaking wet pussy. She had me so turned on that all she had to do was graze my clit and I came. "That was fast, my sweet." Roxy laughed. When Roxy asked me how I felt I could barely speak. She started rubbing my clit again, first in circles and then side to side. It all felt so good. I jumped a little when she slipped first one finger and then another inside me. This woman was making me crazy! She climbed between my legs and lowered her lips to my clit. I felt her gently sucking on it. I knew another orgasm was building fast but, I wanted to hold it off as long as possible. She started using her tongue in much the same way she had used her fingers. I think I like the circles best. She would lick in fast little circles and then suck and then circles and then suck. Finally, I couldn't hold my orgasm off any longer and I exploded in her mouth. She kept my clit in her mouth until my quivers slowly went away. She looked up at me and smiled. "My turn," she said. Roxy laid down beside me. I rested my head on her chest and smiled. I leaned up on my elbow and touched her face, so beautiful. I caressed her from head to toe. Once I reached her toes, I decided to follow my trail back up her body with my tongue. I slowly sucked her toes and licked my way up her shapely legs until I reached her dripping pussy. Since I had never done this before I tried to imitate what she had done to me. I tentatively touched my tongue to her sweet little clit. I heard Roxy moan, "Oh my God." This gave me the confidence to continue. I applied more pressure and ran my tongue in circles around her throbbing clit stopping every so often to give it a gentle suck. I could feel the muscles in her thighs starting to quiver and I knew her orgasm was close. I licked her clit quickly side to side until she exploded. It is a powerful feeling to be able to give someone such release from just your touch. I licked my way up her stomach and breasts to her mouth. I wanted her to taste herself on me. During our passionate kissing, I slowly entered her with my fingers, one then two, using my thumb to massage her clit. Our tongues were busy fighting their own battle. A battle with no losers. Roxy begged me to make her cum again, "Please my angel, another." I focused all my attention on her clit rubbing swiftly until she came again. I collapsed beside her and we fell asleep in each others arms. Roxy And The Good Doctor All it took was the sight of him walking by and my mouth was watering. I don't think I was his only admirer in the waiting room. Three other women were waiting for their turn to see Dr. Sexton. (Or as I prefer to call him, Dr. Sexpot.) One by one we were moved into exam rooms, and I was more than happy to be called last. That meant I'd be the last patient here. Perfect for my fantasy I planned to fulfill this afternoon. I quickly shed my clothes and lay back on the exam table to wait, tossing the paper gown aside. When Dr. Sexton finally came in was busy playing with my smooth shaven pussy. I was already very wet, but the sight of him induced somewhat of a flood of juices in my hungry pussy. I let out a low raspy moan and I shoved a finger deep inside. "Ms. Fox," he started to say, "This isn't exactly the proper way to behave in my office. You might want to rethink things before we get started." "Oh I've done all the thinking I care to on the matter, Doc." I said. Then I moaned a little louder as I sunk another finger in my hole. He was looking my body up and down, his hand moving to the rapidly growing bulge in his slacks. That was it, I had him. Hopping off the table, I got on my knees at his feet. Looking up I licked my lips as I unzipped his pants and freed his incredible cock. I was mesmerized by the perfection. Leaning in slightly, I began to kiss and lick his manhood. I tried to play it cool, but the tingle that raced through my hot snatch betrayed me. Closing my eyes, I savored his sweet pole, drawing him deeper with every suck. Back and forth, my lips glided over him. As I looked up, his eyes met mine briefly before I moved to take his cock down my throat. I purposefully moved my throat muscles on him, bringing encouraging moans of pleasure. The passion exploded as I sucked that delicious piece of meat deeper, faster and harder. My sweet pussy got wetter and wetter by the moment, literally dripping and running down my thighs. This was a long awaited day, and now that I was living it I wanted more. I wanted to feel the long girth of his tool buried inside me. My increased desire must have put something extra in the blow job because I became out of control. I was both sucking and stroking him at the same time. Beads of perspiration were forming on my forehead, and I was panting hard and loud. Looking up, I could see his face tensing up as his eyes rolled back into his head. The muscles in his face were growing taut as he clenched his jaw. His explosion was nearing, I felt his cock growing thicker and harder in my mouth. I reached down with one hand and rubbed my pierced clit. I was close to Cuming also, and trembling from head to toe. Just a few more intense sucks and my gorgeous doctor let out this deep throaty moan. That was all I needed to send me over the edge. The orgasm racked through me, convulsing in every extremity. It was at that very moment that his hot, salty cum shot into my throat. String after string of his thick cum splashed across my tonsils as I swallowed as fast as I could. Then, as his bursts slowed slightly, he pulled his cock from my mouth, allowing the last couple squirts to land on my face. I smiled up at him as the sticky warmth danced down my cheek. "Wow!" he exclaimed, "That was very unexpected and exciting. Is it something we can do again? My tone was playful as I teasingly said, "I don't know, I'll have to think about it." I gave him a wink as I reached for my pile of rumpled clothing. "Thank you." He said in a husky satisfied tone, "I believe we will need to do a follow up next week. Stop at reception and make an appointment on your way out, please." Following his lead, I feigned fear and concern in my voice as I said, "Oh no, is my condition serious?" In his most professional manner, he said, "It is, could be fatal if not treated aggressively. And I don't want to be the first doctor in history to sign a death certificate stating "lack of nookie" as the cause of death." We laughed and said good-bye as I left his office. I can hardly wait for next week... Roxy To make sure I was fair, Floyd took what we had in our personal accounts when I left and split it in half. He left half in the account that he left open and that Roxy had access to and put the rest into a separate account for me. After that was gone, what was I going to do for money for the next five years? Good question. I decided that I could probably do quite well for myself if I just went out on my own. I knew people, knew who needed my expertise and who was willing to hire me on a job to job basis. My income, if anyone checked for the purposes of a divorce, was effectively zero but my earning potential was enormous. How about that? I was willing to bet that for Roxanne, the potential was too far in the future to satisfy her immediate greed. Wasn't that a kick in the pants? And if any divorce agreement directed that I share my holdings and my earnings with her, my earnings would be very small indeed. Just enough to allow me to survive. And my holdings were tied up legally. No way to undo that. Floyd and I headed back to the hotel to check out. He was heading home to Columbus while I had no destination in mind. I just wanted to go away; anywhere I could forget the pain of losing Roxanne. For all she did to me, for all the pain and the heartache, the time she gave me was more than I could ever have hoped for. Did she ever love me? I wasn't sure. I could, however, pretend that she had and that we had shared some good years together. Had she been able to have a child, things might still be the same as before. In my room, the light indicating a message was flashing and I assumed it was from Roxy. I sat there staring at it, trying to decide if I should answer it. I finally had no choice. I had always had a driving curiosity about everything. I was curious how Roxy would deal with this one. All her plans and all her scheming was for naught. The money was gone, and there was no way for her to get any more. It was all gone now. That alone made me want to see what she would say. I picked up the phone and the desk gave me the message: Jim, please call me as soon as you get in. Roxy. According to the desk clerk, they had taken five messages, all the same before asking her to stop calling. She didn't and they had reported her to the phone company. The calls continued. I held my head in my hands, trying to calm my racing heart. After everything she did, I couldn't stop loving her. That was my problem. I was so used to being the class joke, the butt of cruel and vicious words, the freak that everyone tried not to stare at. Roxy changed all that and made it inconsequential for almost five years. Years when I didn't care what others thought. Roxy loved me! Or so I believed. But true or not, I believed it! And it mattered. It really mattered. For that, I owed her. I called home and Roxy answered on the first ring. "Hello? Jim, is that you? Please tell me it's you." Her voice was strained and not very clear. She had apparently been crying and her throat was raw. That was not unusual for her. She had a deep, sexy voice normally and she sounded even sexier when she was distressed. "Yeah, Roxy, it's me. Your joke of a husband. The freak show. What do you want?" "Jim, please come home. We need to talk. I need to see you and talk to you and try to explain. Please Jim, if you love me, please come home." "That's a joke! If I love you. Of course I love you. How could I not. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you in that class in college. That's why this hurts so bad. I loved you with all my heart and you and your lover betrayed me for nothing but money. That's all I ever meant to you wasn't it? Just a meal ticket and a free ride. How you must have hated having to look at me every day. How you must have laughed to yourself every time we made love, thinking that I was so dumb to believe someone like you could ever love someone like me." "Nooooooooooo! No! No! No! You have to come home and let me talk to you. Jim, please. I don't care now. You can hate me all you want but you have to come home to me. You have to. You don't understand. You're wrong! Wrong!" "The only thing I did wrong was convince myself that you really cared for me. But now I know it was just for what I could give you. All those things I bought you were just things. You could have anything you wanted if you had just stayed with me. But I guess it was too much finally. Having to pretend to love me, to accept me, to make love to me. Hell, you finally couldn't stomach that any longer: you just stopped having sex with me. I guess that was a big load off your shoulders wasn't it. Not having to sleep with me anymore until you thought that I might get suspicious. That's why you started up again wasn't it?" "No! That's not true. You don't understand Jim. You've got it all wrong. Please come home. I want you here where I can talk to you face to face. Please Jim, Please!" "Face to face. What a joke. How could you look me in the eye and pretend that you loved me? God, how you must have hated to do that. How it must have made you sick. But you were good: I have to hand it to you. You took me for a ride and what a ride it was. But here's the joke Roxy: I loved you and I loved it and I'll never forget the time you gave me. Even if it was a lie, I'll still remember it and I'll smile. For that, thank you." I hung up and pulled the line from the wall. I was done with her. It hurt too much to continue with it so I was done. I decided to stay one more night while I decided where I wanted to go. I had enough money left in my wallet to last me for at least a week if I checked out of this place and found a studio apartment somewhere not too upscale. I decided to head back to the bar where Sam worked and see if he would like to talk some more. Hell, I had nothing better to do. Sam wasn't on duty yet so I decided to have a couple of beers and then pull up some places on my computer and pick one. I took a notebook with me and sat in one of the booths making a list of the people I knew and where they were located. It was turning out to be quite a list too. I was amazed at the number of people I knew and especially the ones I considered friends. It made me feel proud that I had made so many contacts. As I ordered a second beer, I pulled out my laptop and logged on to the internet. Strange that even a cheap bar like this one would have wireless. I checked my email and found several new messages, all from Roxy. Since when had she become so familiar with email? She even had her own address. News to me. But apparently there was a lot about Roxy that I hadn't known. Her contempt for me for one. Her cheating for another. Finally, her apparent need for money. I opened the first couple to find they were all the same. 'Jim, please come home. I can explain.' Sure she could. It would sound something like this: Dear Jim: I just wanted money and I was willing to ignore your ugly face and body and pretend. Isn't that worth something? Actually yes, it was. And I had given her everything I could. Anything she asked for I gave her. But that wasn't enough. She wanted it all and without me. I deleted all but the last one. I opened that one just for kicks and got a surprise. It was longer, more detailed. Jim, I know what you think and you are probably right. Not about how I felt about you. There you are so very wrong. I loved you at first sight too. That first day we met. You were so sweet, so honest and so willing to help me. I fell in love with you that day and never fell out of love. I only saw your inner beauty, your soul. Nothing about your face bothered me ever. I saw only the man I loved and he was beautiful. But you are wrong about the money. I don't want your money. I want you. Roy was a mistake and one I regret. I know now that he was using me to get into your accounts. I gave him the information he asked for because he convinced me that you had talked to him about divorcing me and leaving me with nothing. I didn't care about the money but I hoped that if I helped him, you wouldn't have enough money to leave me for someone else. The sex was just to get him to trust me. I never enjoyed it, you have to believe that. It was just a thing I did to make him trust me. You probably never believed that you are a wonderful lover. You told me you never had sex before we were married. Well, I did and no one compared to you. I always told you that but it seems you never believed me. It's funny now that I think it that apparently you never believed the things I told you; that I loved you, that I didn't care about your looks, that your money only made it easy for me to be beautiful for you. You were so insecure and I never knew it. I just believed that you loved me and I loved you. But maybe that's only fair. I didn't believe you when you told me you didn't care about not having children. I thought you wanted our children and when I found out I couldn't give them to you, I went sort of crazy. Jim, please come home and let me talk to you. If you want to divorce me afterwards, I'll not contest it. I'll ask for nothing but what I brought into our life together. You can keep everything else. Even the clothes and shoes and jewelry that I wore to make you proud of me. They mean nothing to me without you. I need you to believe that. You have to believe that. Please come home. Roxy I read that one several times. Could any of it be true? Could she really mean any of it? The more I thought about it, the more I believed she was still trying to con me. To make me come back so she could use her beauty and her sex to win me back. Now that I had taken away all of her money, she wanted me back. That had to be it! I was still thinking about that when Sam came in. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I was startled when he came over, sat down in the chair across from me and waited until I noticed him. I looked up in surprise when he cleared his throat. "Hi Jimbo. Back again? I see you're using the internet connection they put in last month. Damned if I don't think you're the first and the only one so far. Our clientele ain't much on that stuff if you know what I mean. And hey; how'd it go today? If I remember right, you had a bunch of plans to put in place today to screw the bitch. Am I right?" "You're right Sam, and you have a good memory. I'm surprised that you remembered what we talked about. Most people put me out of their minds as soon as they walk away. I'm easy to forget." "You sell yourself short Jimbo. Maybe you look like crap, but you're an interesting guy. And hell, most of us ain't that good looking and I know for a fact that some of the guys who come in here are either so ugly, so stupid, or so mean they can't get more than a cheap-ass hooker to go to bed with them. So, consider yourself a lucky man. You had a class act piece of ass for a lot of years." I considered what Sam said and then made a decision. I pushed the laptop toward him and turned it so he could read the open email from Roxy. "Read this Sam. Tell me what you think. And for the record, as of today, I'm broke. I don't have shit in the bank and won't for many years to come. Roxy has all she's going to get already and I haven't even divorced her. Remember, I'm pretty damned smart and she made me mad so the money is tied up so tight, she and an army of lawyers can't get at it." "Don't even think about asking for your tip back Jimbo. I spent that already." Sam laughed but pulled the laptop toward him and began to read. I watched him as his eyes tracked the lines she wrote. He read it through, went back and reread it twice more before pushing it back toward me. "Damn Jimbo. I don't know her at all except what you told me, but that there gives me pause. She sounds real sincere. Do you think there's any way she could mean what she's sayin'?" "That is the question, isn't it Sam? That is the million dollar question. How the hell do I know? All my life I've been defensive, suspicious of anyone who was even nice to me. I waited to see who was going to spring the trap, the one that would humiliate me once more. Even when I first met Roxy, I waited for her to make a fool of me. It never happened and I came to trust her. For the first time in my life, I trusted someone. After my parents died, I never expected to find anyone like that again. But she came into my life. "Sam, all I know is that for almost five years, I was normal. I had someone who loved me for who I was. Oh, I suspected that my money was what she wanted, but even with that, she seemed to really love me. I figured it was a good tradeoff. I provided her with the money to buy those things she seemed to want and need. She provided the home and the sanctuary I needed where I could be like everyone else. I had a home, a wife, and all that meant. I was truly blessed." "Well Jimbo, if it was me, I'd give it a shot. What's the worst that can happen? You're broke, the money's out of the picture so she's up shit creek without a paddle. She can't take anything in the divorce and you don't have anything to give her if she stays. And you've already convinced yourself that it's over, so what do you have to lose?" I thought about that and decided Sam had a point. He was exactly right. All that I suspected Roxy wanted was gone. It would be at least five more years before I had anything again. I couldn't afford to keep our house, our cars, anything we owned. It would all have to be in foreclosure and sold to pay the debts. Even a lawsuit couldn't break the papers I signed today. Floyd had spent a large sum of my money to make it so. I pulled the laptop close, hit reply on Roxy's email and began typing. Roxy, I've taken steps to make my money not an issue any more. Regardless of what happens, my money is gone, not available to you and your lawyers. You can sue me for support, for anything you want but you'll get nothing. I promise you that is true. I don't know how I can believe anything you tell me now. You've finally met all my expectations. You deny that, but the facts don't support you. You were able to successfully fool me for years so I have little doubt you can still do so. But you did give me almost five wonderful years before you took it away. For that reason alone, I'll give you one hour to tell me in person why you broke my heart. I'll be home tomorrow at six o'clock. I'll listen to anything you want to say at that time. Jim I watched the screen, stupidly waiting for a response before telling myself she wouldn't be sitting alone waiting for my reply. No sooner had I convinced myself of that when I received notice of an incoming email. It was from Roxy. Jim, Please hurry. I'll be waiting. All my love, Roxy I closed the laptop and went up to the bar where Sam was still wiping those dirty glasses. I briefly wondered how they got so dirty when the bar seemed to be so empty most of the time. As before, I spent the evening in conversation with Sam and he and I developed a sort of friendship. At least, he would remember me. After all, I was sort of memorable in the ugly sort of way. I went back to my room that evening and slept the sleep of the just. My world had changed in the last few days but I had handled the change and I was right where I wanted to be. Tomorrow was the first day of the rest of my life. I flew home from Boston and went in to work the next morning to say goodbye to a lot of good people. Dad had hired most of them, groomed most, guided some and chided some. I felt that I had gained their respect and their trust after I took over, which was something many never received. I explained that the company was still solid and would continue. I told them that things would be different but not to fear. I had conditions in place that would protect them for those critical five years. They listened, had some doubts but went back to work with some confidence. That was important to me, that they trusted me. I spent the remainder of the day on the phone talking with people I knew all round the world, people that would most likely want to use my talents for their own purposes. By four that afternoon, I had appointments with two gentlemen in Puntarenas, Costa Rica. It was on the coast in the Gulf of Nicoya, close to the Pacific and promised simple accommodations for the lone American. They would have tickets awaiting me by noon tomorrow. Now that I was set for my own future, I had to consider what to do about Roxy. Divorce was the simplest option. Now that my money was tied up, she would get very little in any suit she chose to file. If I gave her everything that I now had, she would get the house, the cars, all her clothing and jewelry. Everything that she seemed to need and love. It was fair payment for the best five years of my life. At least since my parents were taken from me. At six, I pulled into the driveway of what was once our home. I walked up to the front door and knocked. Roxy opened the door almost as soon as my hand hit the door and stood back to allow me to enter. I did and she shut the door behind me, moving quickly around to stand in front of me. How do I describe Roxy? How do I describe what, to me, was the most beautiful woman in the world? I had never seen her through any other eyes than mine: a man smitten with her beauty. I knew she was beautiful: I had the opinions of others who often doubted my claim of ownership. That she was perfect in almost every detail was also verified by others. She was tall, at least for a woman. She had a body that made men drool and women curse. Her face was right out of a Michelangelo portrait: a smile that promised the world, a look that assured it could be yours, and eyes that took your breath away. All this had once been mine. And all this had been my assurance that I was worthy of something, at least in her eyes. And now she stood in front of me, none of those characteristics in evidence. What I saw was a simple woman, one who was lost, uncertain of her place, and hurting inside. Yes, I could see that. I had always been able to see what was underneath. That was both my curse and my gift. I thought I knew all those years that she did love me, that she never considered me in any way than as her husband. That was what destroyed me in the end. That I had always believed I could see her truth. Now? Maybe what I saw was not what I believed. Maybe this was an act, designed to betray me once again. Roxy walked toward the living room, located just off the foyer. We used it for company, for guests and for those who stopped for casual conversations. We never used it just for us, but this was a special occasion. I followed, watching her walk ahead of me, thinking back to that first time when I watched her walk away, knowing I was going to be seeing her every night from then on. That caused a lump to form in my throat. I swallowed a few times, trying to remove it. Roxy sat down in one of the twin chairs placed in front of a huge fireplace, now quiet. She gestured to the matching one next to her. I took it and sat, facing her. "It's your show Roxy. I'm here to listen to what you have to say." She nodded, the look on her face one of determination, a look I remembered from many sessions of math and chemistry. It was not a look I had seen since. She raised her eyes to meet mine and started. "First, everything I told you in my email was true. All of it. I love you, and I always have. I never considered anything but that when I was with you. I don't care what you look like or think you look like. I love you; I love what and who you are. Nothing will ever change that. "Maybe I never told you that often enough. It was enough for me to know it was true so maybe I was wrong for that. And I did truly love the way you made love to me. You were the best I ever had and I loved every minute with you. I loved to hold you afterwards, to feel you breathing hard and wet with perspiration. That I could do that to you was a huge turn on for me. That man, Roy, was never a threat to you. He was a pathetic man who used my fear and my ignorance to get what he wanted." Roxy At this, Roxy stopped, wiped her eyes with a small handkerchief she was gripping with one hand and looked down at the floor. She seemed to gather herself again and continued. "When I found out I couldn't have a baby, it almost killed me. I took it hard and it took a long time for me to get past it. You tried to help me but it was my fault I couldn't accept your help. I thought I had let you down, that you would see it as a failure. You have to understand Jim that all I have going for me is my looks. You're the smart one, the confident one, the one that does everything for me. Right from the start, you were the one who helped me to make it through college. Ever since, you've always helped me make decisions. So, when I couldn't even give you a child, my confidence left me. I was scared that you would begin to look elsewhere. "That began to eat at me and I finally convinced myself that you would look for some other woman who could give you the children you wanted. That began to eat away at me and all I could think was that you didn't need me anymore. That's the way I was feeling when Roy contacted me to tell me the lie that you wanted to divorce me. He somehow knew that I was feeling insecure. "He finally came up with the plot to steal your money. I had the crazy thought that it would keep you from going with someone else if you lost your money. It makes no sense to you Jim, I know but I wasn't in my right mind at the time. I was panicked, lost, frightened of losing you. Roy used that. He wanted to screw me, just like all the other men I met. I knew that and I decided to use that to get him to take your money away. I thought that was my only weapon. That was a mistake that I will regret till the day I die." Roxy had to stop again. I decided to get a glass of water to give her since she was becoming agitated. As I listened to her I felt a small grain of hope grow as the picture she was painting for me began to take shape. It was all true so far, everything I knew and heard from my surveillance. She had made no attempt to lie or change the facts to make her less guilty. That was what impressed me the most. I watched her sip the water, then set the glass aside and turn back to me. "I had sex with Roy twice, but I faked it both times. He never knew the difference but he was convinced he was a great lover and that he could get me to go with him when he made the money disappear. I wanted nothing to do with him, but I did want you to be broke long enough that I could convince you not to leave me for another woman who could give you children." Roxy stood, looked down at me and nodded as if to say "There, I finished what I had to say." I looked back at her, and in that instant, made the decision as to what I was going to do. All that time thinking, planning, conniving, making it as hard on her as I could was not even a factor. As I looked at her face, I knew what I had to do. Actually, deep down inside where the real me lived, I never had a choice. No choice at all. All I had lived through, all I had endured from others, the pain and the loss I suffered, the gifts that God gave me to make up for all of it; all that made my decision easy. "Roxy, I have to ask you some questions. Will you answer me honestly?" She didn't even hesitate. "I will never lie to you again Jim. I swear to you." "Fine. Do you love me Roxy?" "Yes Jim. I love you with all my heart." "Do you understand that I have no money now and won't for many years to come?" "Yes, and I don't care." "I have tickets to Costa Rica, to fly down there to consider a job for a couple of guys that want to hire me to work on a project for them. It's not a very nice place to live but it's what I want." "I'm glad that you have someplace you want to go. I'm sure you'll do a very good job for them. They must know that to ask you to come down." "Would you come with me if I asked you to? Knowing it would be a very hard life, with none of the luxuries you are used to?" "I would give up everything if you asked me to. I would go where you go without question. I would never think twice." "Would you be my faithful wife there as you weren't here? "I will never be with another man as long as I live, even if you don't take me back. This I swear to you." As I said, I had no choice in what I was going to do. I had lived my life as the man others made fun of, that others turned away from in disgust. I was the man who suffered cruelties from those who denigrated others less fortunate then themselves. I was the man who learned to be alone and enjoy his own council. I grew up that way and I lived my life without regret until Roxy came into it. From then on, I was a different person. Normal, with a normal life and a beautiful wife who others admired. I was envied for what I had. And I grew to expect it, that I could be normal, one of the normal ones. I had friends, people that came to my home to be with us. Normal in all respects. I said one simple, silent prayer then. It was "Please don't take this away again." I looked at Roxy standing in front of me and reached out my hand. "Roxy, I want you to come with me. I want you to be by my side for the rest of our lives. Will you do that?" She came to me, put her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. "Yes I will. I promise you I will never fail you again. I promise you will never regret this day." Epilogue That was five years and three days ago. Roxy and I and our three kids came back to the United States yesterday following a phone call from Floyd. It seems that the first of the guaranteed payments went into the special account right on time. That account had a nice sum of money in it already, since it was opened five years ago with money from the accounts that were closed on that day. The payments that began at the end of five years were very large and would continue without fail. Roxy knew what was in those accounts but all she said was that it would be nice to start college funds for the kids. It seems that the weather in Costa Rica was very conducive to fertility. Roxy was pregnant less than a month after we moved there and she delivered a beautiful baby girl nine months later. We had twin girls a year and a half later. Because of the size of our family then, I did borrow some money to buy us a bigger place, and it was still modest by any standard. But we all loved it there and we intended on flying back as soon as we made arrangements. I joined Roxy and the kids in the motel where we were staying. "Did you take care of everything OK?" she asked when I sank down in one of the deck chairs flanking the pool. "It's all taken care of. Floyd is very happy. He's making a nice piece of change for acting on our behalf." "Good. When are we leaving? I want to get home as soon as we can leave." "I thought you'd like to see the house again, and maybe the places we left behind. Don't you want to spend some of that money? Buy a new home here in the states?" "Don't be smart! I just want to get home. I think we need to consider a little brother for our three girls." "What about the money? Aren't you interested in how much we have?" "No. I just want to go home." "But Roxy, we're now worth millions. Don't you want to do things, go places, see the world?" "I told you, I just want to go back to our home." I laughed and decided to stop teasing her. "We can leave as soon as you pack." "Silly; I never unpacked!" Roxy stood, kissed me soundly and went in to get the children ready to leave.