57 comments/ 82379 views/ 13 favorites Revisiting My Past By: Slirpuff I felt the sting immediately, and the heat, well, that came shortly thereafter from her slap. I hadn't expected it otherwise I could have easily blocked it or at least grabbed her hand. Rubbing my left cheek I felt a raised line developing. "Shit, she must have gotten me with one of her fingernails," I said, looking at the drops of blood on my fingertips. This was the price I was paying for being a total idiot and thinking with my dick instead of my head. "I am not a whore!" Kelly screamed at me, and probably heard by everyone else within earshot. "You're right, I stand corrected. A whore charges, you merely spread your legs and give it away for free," I replied, turning and walking away. I didn't have any physical proof that she'd gone to bed with anyone; it's just that her actions of late screamed out that she had. I guess I'd finally gotten tired of playing her stupid ass games not to mention her lying to me every chance she got. "Steve, you can't just walk in here, call me a slut, and leave," she yelled. Everyone around us stopped what they were doing and started watching us. But, yes, I could, and I did. "As they say, if the shoe fits and I know it does, then you are a slut," I chided her, turning towards the front door of the club to walk out. Everyone continued gawking at the two of us. You see, Kelly was my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend as it stands now. We were supposed to have been exclusive, but I guess her and my interpretation of exclusiveness were totally different. I wasn't supposed to see or go out with any other girl, but those restrictions didn't apply to her. Her going out to lunches, dinners, and social functions without me only compounded my need to end this farce of a relationship that never should have happened in the first place. When Kelly said she had to work late Friday due to a marketing meeting, I wasn't happy but understood—business is business. But when I went to a local dance club with my best friend David, and saw Kelly on the dance floor bumping and grinding with someone rather than being at her 'meeting,' I reached my breaking point. Or, as David said, I finally smartened up and did something intelligent for a change. Unlike many of those other stories you read, I'm not a six foot four, two hundred and forty pound hunk with a ripped six-pack, or a war tested Marine who could kick the shit out of anyone with his martial arts skills. Nope, I am five foot ten in my stocking feet and just under a hundred and seventy pounds. My last physical fight was when I was a junior in high school and even then I got my ass kicked. I wasn't a fighter then, and I sure as hell wasn't one now. What I am is a realist. The guy she was with tonight could probably have demolished me without breaking so much as a sweat, and Kelly wasn't worth getting messed up over. So I just said what I needed to say to get back at her and walked out with as much self-dignity as I could muster. "Real smooth, Steve, you're just lucky that ape didn't take you apart," David said, catching up to me just outside the front door. "Why would he? All that would have happened, is that he'd probably hurt his hands beating the shit out of me, and for what? He's already got my girl so what would be the point?" "Well, you got your two minutes of fame telling Kelly off and hopefully embarrassing her, maybe a little anyway." "Don't count on it. Kelly dances to Kelly's drummer. I'm just tired of all her crap—way too much drama for me. A relationship shouldn't be this difficult, except with her is was." I immediately thought of what I had previously given up and felt bad for the umpteenth time. Why we were ever an item or why she even stuck around this long is still a mystery. More than one person made it be known that Kelly was way out of my league, and I should thank my lucky stars that she was even going out with me. Being a virtual knockout and having a great body to boot she liked to use people, but I was blind to that until it was too late. She hooked me, reeled me in, and left me to flop around on the bottom of the boat while she watched me gasping for air. Eventually she'd pick me up, put me back in the water, only to hook me again later. After a while, even an idiot smartens up. The only reason I could fathom she stayed was because to her I was a challenge, an anomaly of sorts because I wasn't totally infatuated with her. When we met I currently had a girlfriend. But in the end I had what most of the guys wanted, everyone that is, but me. After my scene with Kelly I didn't go out and get drunk, burn all the clothes she'd left at my apartment, or even plot some elaborate revenge. I did nothing, nothing at all. However, I did lament breaking up with my old girlfriend to start dating Kelly. Or let me rephrase that—when Angie dumped me after she found out about Kelly. Angie and I had been dating on and off for about seven or eight months. We'd known each other a lot longer but had recently moved from acquaintances to that of dating and finally to girlfriend, boyfriend. She had short, black, curly hair, was all of five foot four, and just slightly on the plump side. But Angie had the most beautiful dark eyes that said things to me only a lover could. The thing that drew us together at first was we both enjoyed doing a lot of the same activities. "Steve, since we're doing the same things anyway, wouldn't it be a lot nicer to do them together?" It made perfect sense. We started off slow but after a month or so I picked up the pace. We both worked at Contac Corporation, a software service company, she in technical services and me in materials management. Angie had been there for just under five years and was completely adept in her field of expertise. She wasn't your normal computer geek or gamer. She could communicate and relate to people on all levels, that's what made her so popular and what first caused me to notice her. Even though the same company employed us both, she worked on one side of town and I on the other. I only saw her at meetings or company outings. When I was having software issues they sent her over to fix my problem. Two days later we were exchanging e-mails and a week later we ran into each other at the movies. After that we just gravitated towards one another and started going to functions and places outside of work together. Eventually it was assumed we were a couple by everyone at work, and finally by the two of us. It was easy being with Angie. We went from casual dating to spending most weekends or a part of most weekends together doing the things we both liked to do, or sometimes nothing at all. "What do you want to do tonight?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" was my usual reply. Some-times we agreed and other times, let's just say we spent the evening under the covers. No pressure, no expectations, just a lot mutual love and satisfaction. We'd moved on from the initial lust stage to a comfortable stage where our lives went on, it's just that they went on together. Then I screwed the whole thing up. My real passion outside of work was playing in the kitchen. I considered myself somewhat of an amateur chef. It helped that some of my best friends were professional chefs in one restaurant or another in town. Once a year, a few head chefs would put on an eight-course meal with all the profits going directly to the Children's Wish Foundation. It was an exclusive event and the tickets were well above what I could afford. However, this year I lucked out. The owner of the restaurant where David worked had something come up unexpectedly and had given David his two tickets. Being my best friend and knowing how much I wanted to go, he gave me first crack at the tickets. "Steve, I'm going to make your day," he said over the phone a week before the event. "How would you like to go to this year's Chefs' Gala and best of all, free of charge?" I thought he was screwing with me but when he said he had two tickets, I was literally walking on air. "Steve, remember it's formal, and," he continued, "you're on your own when the silent auction starts." I didn't care about that portion of it— just going to the dinner would make my year. Angie was ecstatic. "Now I'll have another place to wear that formal dress I bought last year." With her, it was all about who was going to wear what and how it looked. "We'll need to have pictures taken there, so I'm going to make sure I get my hair done that afternoon." Thus began her plans for the evening. Me? I just wanted to see a copy of the evening menu, but that was a closely guarded secret. Saturday morning I got a call from Angie. Sounding awful she told me her dismal news. "Steve, I hate to do this to you, but I'm not going to be able to go tonight. I think I've got the flu or something. I've been up all night sick. I'm so sorry." That pronouncement was followed by a hacking cough. "Angie, go back to bed and don't worry about it. Just get better, okay?" My mind started reeling. I had to figure out what to do next. "But what are you going to do with the other ticket?" "Don't worry, I'll find someone to go with me." That was easier said then done. All my friends were either busy or didn't have a tux or formal dress on hand to wear on such short notice. By four o'clock I'd run out of friends and options. I made the decision to go by myself and make the best of it. Maybe with two tickets I could bring home a doggie bag? I laughed at that notion. I was standing outside the restaurant waiting to get in when I observed two women talking to the maitre d' who was checking the people in. "I'm sorry miss, this event has been sold out for at least two months," he informed the two of them. "Well, Connie, why don't you go in and have fun, make sure you eat enough for both of us," she laughed. "I'll see you later on this weekend." Her friend waved goodbye and walked into the banquet hall. If I hadn't been such a nice guy, I probably would have been a lot better off, but hell, I had an extra ticket that would have otherwise gone to waste. "Excuse me," I said, walking up to the cute brunette. "Are you looking for a ticket to get in?" She sized me up before answering. "I was until they told me it was sold out." At about five foot nine in her heels she was looking me right in the eye. "As a matter of fact, I just happen to have an extra ticket, and if you're not opposed to sitting next to me at dinner, it's all yours." "Yeah right, what's the catch? I suppose you'll want to sleep with me for the price of the ticket?" Was her indignant reply. "Sorry to disappoint you, but no. However, if you don't use it, the seat next to me will be left empty, and I'd hate to see that happen. But, since you don't want the ticket..." That was all I got out before she wrapped her arm around mine, told me her name was Kelly, and I was now her official date for the evening. All six tables were filled. The master of ceremonies welcomed us and said we were in for a real treat, adding that the menu crossed all taste bud lines, and we were sure to enjoy the evening. "After the dinner there will be a silent auction to raise additional money for the Children's Wish Foundation. All the items have been graciously donated so the entire amount will go to the kids, please bid with that in mind." The evening started. We talked during the courses. I did my best to make more than just small talk, explaining each dish in detail to her. I found out she had just broken up with her boyfriend, whom she called a scum sucking cheating asshole. When I smiled and asked how she really felt about him she laughed. I was having a great time. In between the fourth and fifth courses, which were the main dinner entrees, the music started up. "Steve, do you dance?" "As a matter of fact, I do," I replied, getting to my feet taking her hand. "Good, my last boyfriend said dancing was for pusses." We were the first couple on the floor, but after the song got going, three other couples joined us. The music was soft, the dancing was slow, and she felt wonderful in my arms. A few minutes later we were back at the table eating again. With a different wine served with each course, I made sure I only drank a little of each, knowing I needed to get home in one piece. Kelly, on the other hand, was finishing off each glass no matter what was in it. "You should go easy on the vino," I told her. "Don't worry, Connie drove here tonight, so I can really kick back and enjoy myself." Good thing because she was starting to get tipsy. Dessert was some type of chocolate cake soufflé or a combination of the two. It was decadent, rich and sweet, and all but melted in your mouth. "Oh my God, this is so good," Kelly said, sighing and inhaling her piece, then eyeing mine. "I've never in my entire life had a meal like this," she declared, finally putting her fork down. "It's going to take me a week at the gym to get rid of the pounds I've put on tonight." "What extra pounds? You look great," I said, complimenting her for the first time. "Well, aren't you sweet?" she purred, reaching over and giving me a peck on the lips, which took me by surprise. After dinner we had a choice of eight different coffees, various teas, or glasses of ice wine. I ordered a cappuccino while Kelly chose the ice wine. The wine was served at a temperature just above freezing. When I explained to her that the grapes are picked off the vines after they have been frozen, she looked at me like I was giving her a line. "No, really. And instead of getting four drops of juice from each grape, they get only one making it highly concentrated, that's why it's so sweet." "And good," she added. "I could drink this stuff all night." With that she downed her glass in one swallow. "Not at these prices. A small bottle starts at well over fifty to sixty dollars." That took her back a bit. "Well, then I'd better have another glass, because on my salary this will probably be the last time I'll be drinking anything like this." We danced to three more songs before the auction began. I was hoping for a couple more dances because I was enjoying her company, and I didn't want the night to end. A few of my friends asked me who my date was and did Angie know about her. I just told them that I'd only met her tonight and no, this wasn't a date. "Too bad," more than one guy said admiringly. All the items in the auction sold for way over their actual value. I bid on two but the final price was almost twice what I'd bid. It was fun anyway. David finally made his way over to our table after the auction, still dressed in his chef's uniform. "Kelly, this is David, David, Kelly." They shook hands. David sat down in the empty chair next to Kelly. "Well, what did you think?" he asked the two of us. "The food was just all right," I relayed to a shocked David. "And most courses were overdone and cold by the time they were served. Thankfully the wine killed the bad taste they left in my mouth." They both looked at me like I was from another planet. At that point I gave them a wink and a smirk. "It was by far the greatest meal I've ever eaten." With that statement David punched me and called me an asshole. "Well, I've got to get back to the kitchen and clean up. Nice meeting you Kelly, hope to see you around." "Do you know all the chefs?" Kelly asked me when David left. "I know three of the six cooking tonight. But it is one job I'd never want to have. The hours are long and the pay sucks until you get to the top tier." "Well, it looks like fun anyway, and I think I could prepare a few of the dishes we had tonight," she said, boasting. I think the wine had gone to her head. "Well, if you ever do, I'll bring the wine and we'll make a night of it," I said, touching my coffee cup to her crystal wine glass. The evening had finally run its course. Connie found us, introductions were made, and we all said again what a wonderful time we'd had. "Steve, give me your cell number and when I finally get the nerve to attempt a meal like this I'll give you a call." We exchanged phone numbers, I reminded everyone to drive safely and get home in one piece. It had been quite a night. When Angie recovered from her ailment she asked what I had done with the extra ticket. I didn't lie and told her exactly what I did all evening. I don't think she was very happy about it, especially the dancing part, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let a five hundred dollar ticket go to waste. I did, however, purposely forget to tell her about the kiss and the exchanging of phone numbers. I figured what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, and I was sure I would never hear from Kelly again. How wrong I was. Five weeks later I got a call on my cell, not recognizing the number I answered hesitantly. "This is Steve." "Boy, how soon they forget a great evening!" "Kelly," I said, recognizing her voice. "How's my budding chef doing?" "Well, that's why I'm calling," she said all bubbly. "I want to invite you to dinner Saturday night. I've finally gotten up the nerve to tackle a few gourmet recipes and need my guinea pig to test them out. It won't be as elaborate as our last dinner together, but I can guarantee you it will be memorable, and remember you said that you'd bring the wine." I quickly looked at my calendar on my cell phone. "Saturday's good for me." "Great, then it's a date." She gave me directions to her apartment before telling me she was looking forward to our evening. After telling Kelly goodbye I started having second thoughts, and rightfully so. Although Angie and I were not at the point in our relationship where we would always spend entire weekends together, we tried to arrange to be with each other during the weekend as much as we could. We may not have said out loud we were exclusive—it was pretty much implied—I was in a quandary. "What am I going to tell Angie about Saturday if she wants to go out? Maybe I'll take her out on Friday, that way I'll kill two birds with one stone." But it didn't work out like I planned. "Steve, I can't go out on Friday night. My friend Judy and I are taking care of her niece, but I would love to go out Saturday. There's a movie I've been dying to see and it'll be my treat." "I'm sorry, but David asked me to help someone out with some recipes on Saturday night." I know I should not have lied but how could I tell her the truth? I took the coward's way out, and felt like a real cad. "How about if I pick you up Sunday afternoon and we catch the movie?" "That works for me. How about if you pick me up sometime after one o'clock? That way we'll have plenty of time to make the two fifteen showing." I had dodged that bullet. The three bottles of wine set me back almost a hundred dollars, the ice wine alone costing over fifty-five dollars. I had purchased three different types of wine for tonight, and although they weren't the caliber of our last evening together, I didn't think Kelly would mind. You see, we had two things in common—we both liked food and wine. However, I liked good food and fine wine and you'll notice I left off those two adjectives when I talked about Kelly. Maybe with her putting together this meal she'll see just what it takes to prepare this type of special dinner. "HELP" is the text I got early Saturday evening. "I think I'm in way over my head, can you come earlier?" I immediately replied, "How early?" "What are you doing right now?" "I'll grab a quick shower and be right over," I answered back. "Do you need me to bring anything?" "Not sure! Just come over as soon as possible," was her panicked response. I took a quick shower and was out the door. Fifteen minutes later I was knocking on her door with the three bottles of wine and half a bottle of cognac in hand. Revisiting My Past "Thank God, you're here," Kelly said, sighing with relief. She gave me a quick kiss and pulled me inside. "I think I need three ovens for what I'm attempting. Everything needs a different temperature and will take forever unless I can put them in all at the same time." She was stressed. "Relax, take a deep breath and open one of those bottles of wine." It wasn't as bad as she thought. "Remember that night we had eight courses. Each one was cooked individually. How many did you plan?" "Four including dessert." "No problem then," I said, laying out the food as I put the first course into the oven. "We'll have the first course in about forty-five minutes and the second a half an hour later," I explained to her, setting the timer on my watch. In twenty minutes I'll put the second one in, and we'll be well on our way." "Do you know, I never heard of some of the ingredients and had to look them up on the computer to find out what they were? Two of them I couldn't even find at my local grocery store. I just hope it all tastes good." "Don't worry Kelly, cooking is supposed to be fun." "This wasn't fun," she said, taking a large slug of wine. "Well, if you've got this under control, I'm going to go upstairs and grab a much needed shower. Make yourself at home." The food was cooking and the next course was just about ready to go in, so I snuck a peek at the main dinner course. Salmon fillets, a good choice, but they didn't have anything thing on them. I searched her cupboard and refrigerator for spices and was lucky to find just what I needed, including a little fresh lemon. I was just finishing when Kelly came back downstairs and saw what I was doing. "I wasn't sure what to put on them. I was going to sprinkle on some breadcrumbs and pepper and let it go at that. I think you did more than that," I smiled at her, putting the items back where they came from. "Well, that part is done, I'll help you set the table, and by the time we're finished doing that, the second course will be ready to go in." Everything went like clockwork after that. The crab stuffed mushrooms were wonderful and the shrimp and artichoke-crusted cakes were good, though a little dry. Two glasses of wine later I pulled out the salmon that was done to perfection along with the twice-baked potatoes and grilled asparagus. Much to my chagrin, Kelly put her fillet back in for another couple of minutes or until it was "done" as she put it. Dessert was a homemade key lime pie. Kelly said that she had gone to a fresh foods market to get real key limes to make it. "I always thought a lime was a lime," she said, taking it out of the refrigerator. "The key limes are a lot smaller and a pale green color." She made a pot of coffee while I cut us each a slice. I had put the ice wine in the freezer about two hours ago and it would make a nice finish to our meal. "I think I did pretty good for my first time around. We're still alive, so at least I didn't poison us." She smiled, puffing out her chest. "I want to thank you for coming early, I don't think I could have finished it without you." "It was my pleasure. Just think of me as your shining white chef." I knew it was corny but at that minute I didn't know what else to say. "How about a small glass of ice wine or a warm cognac?" "A warm cognac?" I guess she'd never had that either. She passed on the wine as I produced the partial bottle of cognac I had brought along with me. Kelly drank too much cognac. It was warm, went down smooth, and packed one hell of a wallop. By the second drink she was all over me. Sitting next to me on the couch Kelly leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Steve, I think it's time I thanked you properly." And for the next five minutes there was one hell of a lot of tongue and lip action. When she chugged the last of her drink and started unbuttoning her blouse, I didn't want to, so I stopped where this was going. "Kelly, I think this has gone far enough." I had started thinking about Angie. "You're half in the bag and I'm not going to take advantage of you," I told her, watching her continue to unbutton her blouse. "Steve, I'm so damn horny right now, I'm dripping. Don't worry, I'll respect you in the morning," she said, slurring her words. "Damn, why me?" I lamented to myself, looking up to the heavens because now she had totally unbuttoned her top and there was nothing on underneath. Lovely, was all I could think as I looked at her exposed breasts that were crying out to be touched. I had all I could do to fight her off, even after she started jumping around on the couch teasing me. Then it happened, she belched. Covering her mouth she went running for the kitchen sink. Thankfully she puked into the side of the sink with the garbage disposal. With a spray of hot water and some grinding the disposal made short work of her mess. Using a wet kitchen towel I wiped her face off and watched her stagger off to her bathroom for some much needed mouthwash. "I don't know what happened? I was fine one minute and the next, well, thanks for helping me," she smiled, still not completely sober. "Maybe next time we'll get together because right now I don't think I'd be much fun." "Kelly, I never should never have let you have that second glass of cognac, it packs a hell of a punch." I smiled, she didn't. "Go get some sleep," I said, laying a kiss on her forehead. She wasn't satisfied with just that—she pulled me down to her lips. I was relieved there was no tongue as her minty lips met mine. "Next time you're all mine," is how she ended our evening. Damn, I would loved to have seen the rest of that body I thought to myself while walking out to my car still half erect. Finally, in the quiet of the night back at my place, I replayed the evening in my head. Would I really have gone to bed with her? What about Angie? Thank God, I fell asleep before I could answer those questions. Sunday's movie was a chick flick but still had enough gratuitous sex to make it interesting. When Angie asked what I'd done last night, I told her I was helping a friend try out a new recipe. This time it was just a partial lie. Did I tell her the friend was the same girl I hooked up with at the gala? Not a chance, and I was grateful she hadn't asked. We were, after all, an item and she trusted me. Everything went back to normal, or should I say my and Angie's normal. When Kelly called and asked me to sample a few of her new recipes I saw no problem in that, after all I'd been the one to spark her interest in cooking. This time, however, I brought only one bottle of wine and nothing stronger. She was improving. The food tasted great and was done to perfection even without my help. I made a few minor suggestions, which she took the time to write down. After dinner she told me what she had on her mind. "I'm planning a dinner for my boss and his wife for his sixtieth birthday in two weeks. It was his wife's idea and it's going to be a big surprise, especially since it will be at his own house. How would you like to do me a big favor?" she asked, moving over even closer to me on the couch. "If someone like you could give me a hand in the kitchen, I won't come off like an idiot if something goes wrong. I'd just do anything to get you to help me." Damn, she could be persuasive. "All right, but on only one condition." "Anything, anything you want, Steve." She jumped on my request immediately. "Let me plan the menu." And with those five simple words, unbeknownst to me at that moment, I had just sealed my fate. "That's it? That's your only condition? Hell, I was prepared to give up a lot more than that, and I still might," she said, placing her lips on mine. "Easy girl, with you doing that I can't think." She put her arms around me. "That's the point, Steve." "Menu first," I told her. "Now get me a note pad because we are going to create a meal they'll never forget." It took almost two hours to put it all together. I probably could have done it in an hour if Kelly wasn't all over me every ten minutes. Finally after the fourth time of me telling her to stop, she reluctantly sat down next to me in a sullen huff. "Steve, are you gay or something?" The look I gave her told her I wasn't. "Do you think I'm attractive, sexy, or even moderately good looking?" "Kelly, you're a knockout, I just don't understand why you're interested in me?" "You're the first guy I've gone out with who hasn't hit on me. Hell, I've thrown myself at you twice and nothing, nada. That's why I asked if you were gay." She began unbuttoning her top. "Now, let's try this again." She began once more bridging the gap between us. "Since we're going to be working extremely close together over the next two weeks, shouldn't we get to know one another better?" With her lips on mine, for the next two hours, I forgot about everything other than what I had in my arms. "Well, you were right, you're sure not gay, oral as all hell, but not gay," she said approvingly, kissing me for the hundredth time. She was fantastic in bed, the best I'd ever had, not that I've been with that many women in my life. With her lying next to me I should have been in seventh heaven, but all I could think about was I'd cheated on Angie. I could probably try and convince myself we weren't really exclusive, or engaged, but in the end the only one I'd be kidding would be myself. I rolled her off me and threw my legs over the side of her bed. "The bathroom is the door on the right," a sleepy voice said to me, but I wasn't thinking about the bathroom, though I probably needed a shower. "You okay?" she asked, now sitting up in bed. "You see, I'm kind of going with someone else and I shouldn't have done what we did last night." Now that I'd said it out loud I felt even worse. "Well, I'm not going to tell her and if you don't, it will be between the two of us. It's not like you're married or anything like that." She wasn't making me feel any better. "So, why don't you take care of your business, use the mouthwash by the sink, and come back to bed. I've never been with someone as oral as you and I want to take full advantage if this is going to be my one and only time with you. " She smiled, and like a fool I did what I was told. My dick was sore by Sunday morning and my tongue? Well, let's just say it had gone places and done things it had never done before until last night. Kelly was every guy's wet dream and I'd had the pleasure of it all for over twelve hours. "Another night like last night, and I'm going to chain you to my headboard," she said, smiling. She was cooking us breakfast while I ground the coffee. She was wearing little if anything—I had on just my boxers. Yet the only thing I was thinking about was how to gracefully exit her apartment. "You're on the pill, right?" I finally asked the question that had been on my mind since we first started last night. "And if I'm not? Hell of a time to be asking, isn't it?" "Well, you didn't give me much opportunity to ask last night. I either had a pussy on my face or a tongue in my mouth." She giggled. "I guess it got a little crazy last night, but don't worry, I've been on the pill since I was sixteen. Mom said she didn't want any rug rats running around." I let out a sigh of relief. I was hungrier than I thought. Four eggs, two pieces of toast, and two cups of coffee went right down. When she opened up her shirt and put some jam on both of her nipples I knew I was in trouble, but when she put a gob between her legs I knew I was screwed. I did her on the kitchen table. It was half past two before I finally left her apartment. There were four voice messages and two texts from Angie. "Where have you been?" was the first question out of her lips. "Would you believe I drank too much and lost track of most of last night?" I replied. "Steve, that's not like you. We were supposed to go shopping today." She sounded mad. "Honey, I'll make it up to you. Give me a half hour to change and we can still make the mall before it closes." "Steve, it's getting late and I really didn't want to rush." "How about this, we'll shop for a couple of hours, and I'll take you out to dinner?" I was in dire straits. "Well, only if you really want to," she replied coyly. "I'll be there before you know it." I needed a good shower to make sure I got Kelly's scent off me. I even used an extra dab of cologne for added insurance. The mall wasn't packed and we got almost everything done as we took our time walking hand in hand down the rows of shops. When we finally finished we ended up at her favorite Chinese buffet. "You okay? You seem a little distant," Angie inquired, looking at me. I came up with a quick lie. "I guess I'm still sort of hung over from last night." I was getting good at lying. I had become a real louse in my own eyes. "Too sick to come back to my place," she said, biting an egg roll and sticking her tongue into the inside of it. I felt my tongue get hard. "Damn Steve, you outdid yourself tonight," an exhausted Angie said a few hours later, sipping on a glass of water. "I think I'm going to get angry at you more often if this is what I'm going to get when we make up." I'd given her everything I had and then some because I felt guilty. We kissed and cuddled for the next hour. I was just about asleep when I felt a warm set of lips kiss me and move south over my chest. She wasn't as experienced as Kelly but more than good enough to get me hard again. Then it happened. She threw a leg over me and guided me into her—bareback—Angie wasn't on the pill. "Angie?" "Shush, be quiet. This is my safe time of the month, and I've wanted to do you natural since our first time together," she said, raising and lowering herself onto me. "God, this feels so fantastic," she moaned with her eyes completely closed. Reaching up I grabbed both of her pointy little breasts and worked them and her nipples until they stood straight out. I placed my left thumb at the base of her mound and worked her clit every time she engulfed me. I held her hips, pushing every inch into her, giving her everything I had. It didn't take long. There were no loud screams even though her mouth was wide open and for the first time ever we climaxed together. Two minutes later she was resting on my chest. "I love you, Angie," I whispered in her ear. She cooed and held me even tighter with her head tucked under my arm. It was well past eleven before we moved. "Stay the night." Angie pleaded softly into my ear. "Can't, I've got to go to work tomorrow." "We could call in sick." "Can't on Mondays." I kissed her, rolled out of her bed and got dressed. "I'll call you later." I kissed her once more before I left. Driving back to my apartment I felt worse, if that was at all possible. I'd been with two different women in the last two nights and had told one I loved her. I promised God I would never cheat on Angie again if he would just give me a pass for what I did on Saturday night. I don't think He was listening. Kelly and I planned, bought the food, and made sure to cross all our t's and dot every i. There wasn't going to be any slip-ups if I could help it. I had written down everything to make sure nothing would be forgotten, checking and rechecking, until two nights before the dinner. "You're doing what and with whom?" I was asked the following night. "It's just a dinner and I'm there only to make sure nothing goes wrong." Angie wasn't buying it. "Now I know who you've been with all those times you said you were helping someone with their recipes. Steve, is there something you want, or in this case, don't want to tell me?" "Angie, don't you trust me? This is the last time I'm probably ever going to see her," I said, pleading my case. "And I promise I'll tell you everything on Sunday morning." "Why not Saturday night when you're finished?" "Honey, we're not even starting dinner until after eight. Relax, I'll see you Sunday morning and maybe I'll have a few leftovers for you to try." I thought she was buying it but boy was I wrong, I just didn't know it at the time. If it hadn't been for our friends who had attended the Chefs' Gala, and told Angie what Kelly looked like, and the fact that I'd danced more than a few dances with her, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Not to mention she now knew for sure I'd been with her on two other occasions. It wasn't looking good for me. "All right, I guess I'll just have to trust you to be alone with her, but I'm not liking it." I gave her a nice kiss to dispel her worries and figured I was home free. I never suspected what Angie was up to. Sunday afternoon I got a text from Kelly. "Steve, I need you to pick me up tomorrow. I've got three boxes of stuff and they won't fit in my little car." "No problem, I'll be there shortly after six o'clock," I replied back. Dressed in a white shirt and black slacks I pulled up to Kelly's apartment building. We loaded up my car and headed out to her boss's house, both of us on pins and needles, neither one wanting to blow it. It went better than I could have ever imagined. We started out with a nice bottle of wine and two different appetizers, followed by two main courses with all the trimmings, and finished with two different types of desserts and after dinner drinks. It couldn't have gone any better even if David and his group of chefs had been there preparing the meal. Her boss and his wife could do nothing but praise what we'd put together and both said that they'd never had a better meal. The wife was all smiles when she handed Kelly the envelope. "There's a little extra in there for the two of you," she said still smiling, watching us pack up. "You two should do this for a living, you seem to have a knack for it." We thanked her and within ten minutes we were packing up my car. "Are we good or what?" Kelly screamed, as we drove over to her place. "I can't believe it, nothing went wrong, and everything went just like we planned." She was wild to say the least. "How much did we make tonight?" I inquired, wondering if we really made out after all our expenses. "Steve, how much did the food and wine cost us?" "Well, you've got all those figures at your place. Why don't we unpack? We can see when we're finished" We had more leftovers than I thought we would. Her boss's wife told us to take everything that was left with the exception of the wine. With a wink she told Kelly she was planning something special for her husband later that evening, to work off the calories from the meal. While showing us out she told Kelly, "Don't plan on seeing him before ten o'clock Monday morning." With everything put away in Kelly's refrigerator we sat down with a glass of wine and started figuring out our expenses. "As close as I can figure, we spent two hundred and twenty-five for food, just under seventy-eight on the wine and another thirty to forty for miscellaneous items for the table. That makes for a grand total of three hundred and forty plus dollars. How much did she pay us?" Kelly opened up the envelope and pulled out eight one hundred dollar bills. Holy shit, Steve, we're rich!" she responded, jumping up and down. "Kelly, I don't think a profit of four hundred and fifty dollars puts us into the rich category." "But for one night of work?" "We probably spent ten hours shopping, preparing the food, and putting together all the rest. That puts it at somewhere in the area of forty-five dollars an hour and if we divide it by two, we each made about twenty- three dollars net per hour." "Steve, I don't make twenty-three dollars an hour at my regular job. To me this is free money because we don't even have to pay taxes on it. And did you hear what she said, we should be doing this full-time." She was excited and wound up. Revisiting My Past "It would be fun doing it once in a while, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to do this for a living, maybe part-time, but not full-time." I don't think Kelly heard a single word I was saying, she walked back and forth with a glass of wine in her hand all the while keeping my glass filled. "Damn I'm keyed up, and I know just how to use all this excess energy I've got," she announced, taking off her blouse and bra and throwing them on the couch next to me. "Kelly, I told you that there wouldn't be anymore screwing—I've got a girlfriend." "Just one more time? I'll even let you tie me up if you want." "I just can't and besides, even if I did want to, I don't have any condoms with me." "Steve, I'm on the damn pill." I'd forgotten about that, it was Angie who wasn't on the pill. "I just can't." "How about if I give you a blowjob and you work your wonders with that talented tongue of yours before you leave? Come on, if you don't, I'll never get any sleep tonight, I'm so horny." Against my better judgment I passed on the blowjob and gave her a little oral relief right there on the couch. "Sure I can't give you something in return?" Kelly asked, enjoying what I was doing while lying there with her eyes closed. "You do this so well, and it sure as hell is not going to take long tonight," she said, at the same time rubbing her pussy on my face, and she was right. "Oh God," she screamed grabbing hold of a seat cushion as she pushed hard against my face. "Holy shit," she said releasing a final moan. "I needed that. You sure I can't do something for you?" "No, that's quite all right, besides I need to get out of here because I've got a date tomorrow morning." "Well, if you ever change your mind, you've got my number and know where to find me." I was going to grab some of the extra food but figured it would be better if I just left. Kelly walked me to the door, making one more attempt before opening it. Finally, realizing the night was over and I was leaving, she opened the door, gave me a big kiss, and watched me walk out to my car. Then it all went to shit. "Well, Steve, looks like she thanked you in a way only I'm supposed to," an angry Angie yelled out. "Honey, what are you doing here?" "Just checking on what my boyfriend is doing." Getting right in my face she said, "You want to explain that kiss I just witnessed?" I was going to try and say something to subdue her when she suddenly sniffed me. I saw her jaw drop and her eyes get huge with realization. "You miserable piece of shit," she screamed at me. She turned around and motioned to her friend Judy who was standing by her car. "The fucker cheated on me," she yelled to Judy. "Angie," I said, trying to get her to stop. She continued walking away but flipped me the bird just before getting into Judy's car. My life had just crashed and burned. "Angie!" I yelled one more time before her car sped off. "Fuck, now what am I going to do?" The repercussions were just starting. The next two weeks were tough. I begged and pleaded with Angie to talk with me, only she kept hanging up on my calls and wouldn't return a single e-mail. I was going to tell her I didn't screw Kelly on Saturday, but what was I going to say? I just went down on her because she needed a little relief. That would have gone over like a friggin lead balloon. Then I tried another approach. "Judy, you just have to get her to talk to me," I begged her friend. "I made a huge mistake, but I really love her." "Steve, what you did isn't something a man who is in love with someone else would do. She wanted in the worst way to believe you, but after what she saw and smelled, you cooked your own goose. That was too much of a betrayal for her. She is never, I repeat, never going to forgive you, of that much I'm certain." And Judy was right. Kelly said that she was sorry, but I knew she wasn't. She just figured she'd won and let it go at that. I was now the envy of most guys with everyone saying how lucky I was to have a girlfriend like Kelly. She was nice and all, and the sex was outstanding, but it wasn't the same as it had been with Angie. Kelly was shallow and did things with me only because that's what a girlfriend does, not because she enjoyed doing them. After a while she stopped doing the things I liked. They were replaced with the things she liked, and I said nothing. I figured I deserved what I was getting and was now just going with the flow paying my penance. The first cracks began less than five months into our relationship. I no longer had weekends with Kelly, now I had to share her with her friends. When I told her I didn't like her slow dancing with other guys, she pooh poohed me saying she always ended up the night in my arms. And when I started to rebel and didn't want to go to the clubs every weekend, she went without me. It was the third time I'd caught her in a lie that we had angry words. She'd told me she was going out with her girlfriends. I found out later she'd gone to dinner with some guy. "Jesus Christ, Kelly, did you think I'd never find out? It's not like you went to an out of the way restaurant. My friend Kenny is one of the chefs at Antonio's. He called me when your asshole friend sent his meal back because it wasn't done to his liking." "Steve, he's the new manager from work and I was just showing him around the town. It was a business dinner, that's all. I knew you wouldn't understand, so I didn't tell you" "Making it okay to lie to me? Did he end up at your place at the end of the night?" "Steve, I don't think I've given you any cause to ask such a question. But, in answer to your question, no, he did not. He dropped me off at my apartment and left. Satisfied?" I wasn't because I didn't believe her for a second. Everything was hunky dory for the next eight or nine weeks. She tried her best to make it up to me. I was just beginning to trust her again when she announced that the marketing group, of which she was a part, was having a late meeting and even bringing in dinner. Like a fool I believed her. "David, I'm bacheloring it tonight," I told my friend. "How about the two of us going out and have some fun?" "You sure it's okay with Kelly? I know she keeps you on a pretty short leash." "Not funny, David. She's in a meeting tonight, you're off for the evening, and tomorrow we're scheduled to go to a party at one of her friend's, so it's tonight or never." We went out. We went to three clubs; the first two being our usual hangouts, but the third was a club that had recently opened up within the last couple of months. Like any new club it was packed and we literally had to wait almost half an hour for enough people to leave before we were allowed in. Inside it was dark and loud, with wall-to-wall people. We made our way up to the bar and after ten minutes we had a couple of Coronas in hand. "Let's check out the rest of this place," David said, as we walked along the wall that was behind most of the people on the dance floor. It was David who first saw Kelly on the dance floor. "Steve, what time is Kelly supposed to get done with her meeting tonight?" "Not a clue, but it'll probably be late because they're bringing in dinner for them." "Well, looks like the meeting got over early." He pointed with his beer towards the dance floor. I couldn't see her from where I was at so I moved next to him. Even in this dim light I could see it was Kelly. She was bumping and grinding with a tall dude who had three left feet, but hell, she was doing most of the moving anyway. Kelly was all smiles moving her ass against his leg. I waited until the song ended and the two of them had returned to their table. "Steve, please don't do anything stupid," was David's only advice, but I chose not to acknowledge it or heed it. All I could see was red as I made my way through the crowd towards their table. Kelly was so absorbed in her new friend she never even saw me approach. "I guess your meeting ended early, huh?" was the first thing out of my mouth. Her new buddy gave me a once over. "Steve! We broke the meeting off early and decided to grab a bite and since I'd never been to this club we came here. This is Doug, the new manager from work, the one I told you about." Her eyes were as big as saucers, and her voice rose up an octave because she was talking so fast trying to explain what I was seeing. "Doug, for the record, when you fuck her, take her from behind she really likes it that way no matter what she says," I said loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. "And if I were you, I'd wear a condom because you're likely to catch something if you don't, she's a real tramp, if you know what I mean." I smiled, took a sip of my beer and turned to walk away, I was done or should I say over-done. "I'm not a whore," Kelly screamed at me. It was then I made the mistake of turning around to face her. She slapped me hard just as I turned, cutting my cheek with one of her stupid long ass fingernails. I wanted to deck her but held my temper. The club fell silent, patrons were not only watching us they were waiting for what Kelly or I would say or do next. "I stand corrected, a whore charges, you just spread your legs and give it away for free." I wanted to give Doug another jab like if you slip her a ten spot she'll swallow, but what I wanted even more was to get the hell out of there in one piece. Kelly and I did exchange a few more verbal jabs, including me calling her a slut, before I finally turned around and walked out the front door past the bouncer who had been intently watching us. David caught up with me outside the club. He said something about me being lucky to get out alive considering the size of the guy she was with, but I wasn't listening. We got into my car and just drove. "Can I ask where we're going?" David finally inquired, since we were headed in the opposite direction from where we lived. Hearing his voice, I came out of my stupor when he followed up with, "earth to Steve." "Sorry, David, I guess I'm not all here," I told him, turning my car around. "I knew it would eventually end up this way, it's just that in less than seven months I've majorly fucked up my life and have no one to blame but myself. What the hell was I thinking getting mixed up with a girl like Kelly?" "Thinking with your dick comes to mind." "Asshole!" "Well, you asked. Now what are you going to do?" "I suppose could wallow in self pity for a couple of weeks or get falling down drunk, but as you know that wouldn't take much. I think I'll just pack up what little she has at my place and suck it up. You wouldn't happen to want a size four scarlet piece of lingerie would you? I bought it for her a couple of weeks ago, but never gave it to her." "It won't fit me, though my girl might like it. You did say scarlet and slutty, right?" He smiled. She didn't have much at my place and within ten minutes it was packed and sitting by the front door. Did I expect her to rush home and beg me to take her back? Not likely. Doug was probably knee deep in her at this very moment, and frankly I didn't give a shit anymore. I guess deep inside you know when it's over, and in my case I'd known it for quite a while. This gave me that much needed final little push to end it for good. But, no matter how bad things are, endings are always a little sad. I called myself a dumb shit more than a few of times over the next couple of days, but all I heard was my voice echoing in my head. Over the next few days I got a few calls and e-mails from Kelly. She tried to explain away what I'd seen but the only thing I wanted to know was when she was coming to pick up her shit. "Steve, I'm sorry but it wasn't what you think," she said, still trying to convince me for the last time. "Kelly, I don't care anymore. You can do what you want from now on, but it just won't be with me any longer." "You sure? We could try again." "You've got to be kidding me. Why on God's green earth would I put myself through this again? You're simply not worth it." She tried to kiss me goodbye but I turned my head so all she got was the cheek she had scratched. I felt better knowing she was gone but there was still a huge hole in my gut, and it wasn't from Kelly leaving. "How's she doing, Judy?" I asked Angie's best friend a couple of months later. "I never even knew she had left the technical services department to take a field position." "She took it a couple of months ago, if you're wondering. She got tired of hearing about you and your new squeeze, but I hear congratulations are in order. You finally got your head out of your ass and realized what she truly was, took you long enough." "I knew it the week after Angie left. After a couple of weeks of calling and e-mailing without any replies from her, I knew I'd fucked up royally." "You sure as hell did. For a smart man, you really were stupid." "I know. You don't have to rub my nose it in, everyone has already given me their two cents worth. Well, when you see Angie, tell her I am very sorry I screwed up, it was nothing she did. And for what it's worth I didn't sleep with Kelly that night. We fooled around a little, but I didn't screw her." "We fooled around a little, a little?" Judy mimicked me. "Steve, you're splitting hairs. Hell, you shouldn't have been doing anything with that slut. Angie was devastated. She trusted you until, well, you know when." "Well, tell her I'm sorry anyway, and if possible I'd still like to be her friend." "You sure don't know shit about women, do you Steve? She puts it all out there for you, you proceed to crush her heart, and now you want to be her friend? Jesus Christ, will you ever learn? Maybe if you crawled on your hands and knees and licked the bottom of her boots she might talk to you, but in your case words don't mean shit." Judy was on a tirade now. "Hell, if you'd caught her doing what you did, what would your reaction have been? Would you have forgiven her or tossed her ass to the curb?" She was right. So my life went on. Angie continued to get golden reviews from the customers in the field. I'd hoped to see her once in a while at a departmental meeting or the latest round of company functions but she never came. Even after all this time I had at least hoped to run into her somewhere around town, but never did. I did suck it up one Friday night while wallowing in self-pity. I wrote her an e-mail, or more like a missive, telling her everything. "I wasn't lying when I said I loved you that final night we were together. I only wish I'd had listened to you and had more of a backbone instead of being a weak son of a bitch. Maybe one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me." I went on and on pleading my case and bemoaning my stupdiness. I knew it was whiney and sappy, but I was basically hoping against hope for some type of forgiveness. And just like I figured, my hopes were shattered again when no reply came. A few weeks later I was sitting with David at one of our local hangouts when Judy snuck up behind me. "Still sulking around or have you found another bimbo to keep your bed warm at night?" She took her jab at me while looking around as if waiting for someone to pop up. "Nope, and not even looking. Can I buy you a drink?" She thought for a second, then sat down. "Just a glass of white wine," she replied. I slipped David a ten spot and asked if he'd grab one for her. He shrugged and headed towards the bar. "So, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while." I was trying to make casual conversation. "You're looking nice tonight, you still going with what's his name?" "His name is Todd and no, we're not an item any longer. Like you, he couldn't keep it in his pants." After saying it and visually realizing how it affected me, she grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I am still a bit raw." "That's all right, you didn't say anything that wasn't true. Besides, I've moved on and hopefully grown up." David came back with her glass of wine and two more beers. "You owe me an additional five bucks." "For one glass of wine?" I shot back. "No, for the wine and another round for the two of us. Did you really think I'd go all the way up there without getting something for us?" He gave me that stupid smirk of his. We did nothing but talk bullshit for the next couple of minutes before Judy cleared the air. "You haven't asked about Angie? Don't you want to know how she's doing?" "Yes and no. A while back I finally sent her e-mail and told her everything. I never heard back from her so I just assumed she still thought of me as the cheating bastard not worthy of a reply. She's probably got a new guy by now. If you see her around tell her I wish her the best, and I do mean it." "Angie told me about it and she was touched. Still pissed, but touched by your honesty. And no, she isn't dating anyone steady at the moment. She moved back home with her parents and has been pretty busy of late. When I see her next time I'll give her your regards. But you've got to excuse me—I see my group waving at me. It's been nice chatting with you. I hope everything works out for you." With that she was gone. David watched her walk away. "Nice piece of tail," he said admiringly. I took another look. Yeah she did have a nice booty. That's when I realized those kinds of thoughts was what got me into trouble the last time. It was almost a full four weeks later, on a Friday night, when I saw Judy again. She was with three other girls and having a real blast. I was quietly sipping on my Corona watching them when I got up enough gumption to go up and ask her to dance. She was surprised, and although she gave me an odd look said, "Why the hell not." It was nice. I hadn't done a whole hell of a lot of dancing lately and to coin a phrase, I danced like a stiff white boy, but I had fun anyway. That is until a guy she'd danced with earlier in the evening thought I was moving in on 'his' girl of the night. "You've had your dance, now why don't you move on, the girl's with me tonight." He was tall and lanky with medium brown skin. He came prepared with his two similar looking buddies. I was betting all three were looking to score that night. Judy confronted him. "Hey shithead, this here is my friend, and you sure as hell don't tell me what I can do and with whom I can dance." It got ugly after that. Words were spoken on both sides. I did my best to stay between Judy and him. When he called her a ho and pushed her, I stepped in to stop it pushing him back away from her. Damn, I hurt. Every pore of my body was screaming and asking how in the hell did I get myself in this situation? Three against one are not the greatest odds. Before the bouncers could get over to where we were, the three of them just about kicked the shit out of me. Like I said before, I wasn't a fighter and I proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt that night. Thankfully, nothing was broken—cracked—but not broken. I was told I got sucker punched by one of them and when I went down they proceeded to kick the living crap out of me. My hands were swollen from trying to block the kicks, and I had footprints where none should have been. I don't know who drove me to the emergency room or how I got in. I only knew that I was sitting there alone without seeing a friendly face for the next six damn long hours. "You realize a person could die in the time it took you guys to patch me up," I said sarcastically. "Who did you want us to put you ahead of? The heart attack patient or the guy who came in with the gunshot wound?" The emergency room doctor berated me. That put everything in perspective. "You're going to be pretty sore for about a week and it's going to look a lot worse than it really is. In three weeks you won't even be able to tell you were in a barroom brawl." He smiled, I couldn't. Revisiting My Past I found my keys in my jacket pocket and my car in the emergency room parking lot. Like before, I didn't know who had the decency to get my car over to the hospital, but I silently thanked them. I wished I'd stayed home last night instead of going clubbing. I had wanted to have an enjoyable evening for a change and dance with a nice girl. Now I was paying the price for trying to protect that nice girl from an asshole. Hell, I don't know if it even worked and where the hell had Judy disappeared to, anyway? To add insult to injury, it was a bitch trying to drive home with two balloons for hands. Judy called my cell two hours later. "Steve, are you all right? How are you feeling? After we got out of the police station we went to the emergency room but we couldn't find you. I am so sorry I got you involved. If it's any consolation, they're charging those three guys with assault and battery." It didn't make me feel better, but I was glad for the news. When she took a breath I finally got a work in edgewise and asked, "Are you okay? They didn't hurt you, did they?" "Steve, they were too busy with you, and then running from the bouncers to worry about me." "That's good. Judy, I'd love to talk more, but I'm going to take a pain pill and get some sleep, it's been quite a night." One pill and a glass of water and I was out for almost eight hours. I spent Sunday looking at what was left of my face and telling myself next time to not get in the middle. Just grab her ass and yank her out of there, that's what I should have done. I iced my hands and face on and off most of the day. By bedtime most of the swelling was down. At least I'd have a war story for Monday. Hell, everyone knew about it before I even walked through the office door. People kept popping into my office all morning just to see what I looked like. Some of the guys laughed and asked what the other guy looked like. On the positive side I did get sympathy from most of the women. I was old news by eleven o'clock. When I got home, the first thing I did was down another pain pill. I went over to my desk and flopped down in my chair to check my e-mails. I had five new ones. After deleting the first two, I saw one that made my heart skip a beat. I clicked on it. "I just want to thank you for keeping my friend safe. When she told me what happened I almost died. I hope you're okay. Judy said that she plans on stopping by to see you tomorrow after work. She feels responsible and is bringing you a get-well basket, but don't tell her I told you. Maybe we can talk sometime. It's been a while and I have a few things I need to say to you." She signed it Angie. I read it twice more. I never read the last two e-mails. It took me over an hour to respond. I kept writing, deleting, and rewriting my reply. I was in my fifth or sixth rewrite when I finally hit send. I must have stared at the screen for an hour hoping I'd get an immediate replay—I didn't get one. It took her two days, three hours, and seventeen minutes, not that I was keeping track. "No date, just coffee, and I'll meet you at Starbucks Saturday at one thirty. I think you'll still remember what I look like so I won't tell you what I'll be wearing." That was a private little joke between us. Angie often changed her outfit, sometimes up to three times, before we went anywhere. She looked good. Hell, she looked great. I was right on time, but she had beaten me and gotten a table by the door. She was playing with her iPhone when I walked in. "Hi Angie, you're looking beautiful as always." "Sorry I can't say the same about you. Does your face hurt as bad as it looks?" "Not really. You take one of those little magic pills and you could walk through a brick wall and never feel a thing, but thanks for asking. You want to get a cup of coffee?" She nodded yes. I waked up the counter to place our order. Even from the counter I couldn't take my eyes off her. "Steve, your eyes are going to pop out of your damn head if you don't stop staring. I haven't changed that much," Angie said when I returned to our table with our coffees. "Didn't say you had, it's just been a long time" "Eleven months, three days, and twelve hours, but that's only an estimate," she said, looking at her watch. I gave her a small smile because that's all my face could handle right now. I thought we'd open up with a little casual conversation. It became apparent soon enough Angie had other ideas. Angie looked at me and said in a stern voice, "Just because I'm here right now doesn't mean I have forgiven you. The only reason I'm here is because of Judy." I started to say something but she cut me off. "You've had your say, now it's my turn, so just shut-up and listen. "Okay, but please, relax." "Don't you tell me to relax! If it wasn't for the fact that you couldn't keep your pecker in your pants we wouldn't even be needing to have this conversation." I started to say I'm sorry again, which proved to be another big mistake. "Steve, one more word and I'm out of here. Now shut the hell up and listen to me for a change. You're just lucky I stopped my brothers Andy and Carl from permanently changing your face and manhood after what you did. You hurt me. Goddamn, you hurt me; especially after me giving you everything I had to give. I opened my heart, my body, and my soul, and you trashed them without any regard for what we had or for me. Steve, you told me you loved me and then you went out and cheated on me with some slut. Do you have any idea what that did to me?" I sat in stone silence listening; I had never seen Angie so angry. "I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me but I had more important things in my life to deal with. So don't think putting on that puppy dog face of yours and telling me you're sorry is going to cut it with me." I don't think she even took a breath through the entire time she tore me a new asshole. She finally stopped, took a few sips of coffee and sat there staring at me. "Well, aren't you going to say anything?" "You told me not to say anything." She smiled and then snickered. "That's the first sensible thing you've said in a hell of a long time. At least you're listening for a change." We talked for almost another hour. She listened while I again basically repeated everything I'd told her in my last e-mail. She sat quietly without interrupting me until I started to get a little sappy. Looking at her watch she said she needed to leave. "Can I see you again? How about dinner one night?" "Steve, we're still in the talking stage and I'll be the one to decide if and when we move on from that point. I still don't trust you and just plain words won't cut it with me anymore." "Then how can I show you I've changed if we don't see one another?" I didn't want to appear too needy, but I wanted at least a part of her life. "If you're interested, I guess we can talk again. If you want to e-mail me, I'll reply, but I'll have to check my schedule to see when we can meet. My life is more complicated now than it ever has been and you're sure as hell not a part of it yet." I did get a kiss on the cheek, so it wasn't a total lost cause. Over the next couple of weeks we e-mailed, talked on the phone, and started getting acquainted all over again. Believe it or not, she even initiated almost half of the e-mails. Then things went to shit again. Thursday I was dining with an out of town client at one of the nicer restaurants in town. That's when I saw Angie walk in with some guy. He was tall and good looking, but most of all she looked fantastic, totally dressed to the nines. I couldn't take my eyes off her all through my meal. It was when we were just finishing dessert and coffee she finally noticed me. Our eyes met for a split second and that was all. I paid our check and dropped the client back at his hotel. I think I finally knew what her complication was. I didn't call or e-mail her after that. I wanted to be with her, but I wasn't going to beg her to take me back, well, not anymore. I would let her deal with her 'complications' first. It took only three days. "WHAT? You're not going to e-mail or call me anymore?" I thought long and hard before I responded. It wasn't going to be some quick smart-ass answer or that of a wimpy guy willing to do anything to get her back either. "Let me know when you've worked out your complications." Short, sweet, and right to the point. I didn't have long to wait—she was on my doorstep the following night. "Who the hell do you think you are?" she opened up with guns blazing. "The last time I looked, we weren't even a couple any longer, or did I miss something?" "You're right, we aren't a couple anymore and you can go out with anyone you want, just not with me." She snapped back at me. "I beg your pardon?" "Angie, I want you back, I think I've made myself crystal clear on that point, but just you, not with a flock of other guys in the wings. We need to be exclusive if we're going to have any real shot of making it again." I wasn't backing down on this point. "And what exactly is your definition of being exclusive? It seems the last time we had a slight difference of opinion." That last statement dripped with sarcasm and rightfully so. "Just you and I, no one else." "How about business dinners and lunches?" "Neither you nor I can do anything about that, we'll just have to trust one another." "Steve, I'm nowhere near the point of trusting you yet." "I understand that, and I know it's going to take time, but if we're to go forward we need to be exclusive." I was digging in my heels on this point. "I'm going to have to get back to you on that one." I could feel her slipping away. "Angie I don't want to lose you again. Take all the time you need just let me know one way or another when you've worked out your complications." She gave me an ugly look but also a light kiss on the cheek before leaving. "All right, that went well—not," I thought to myself. Today was Wednesday and I figured I'd hear something back from her by at least Friday, but I didn't. Saturday I was going nuts sitting around waiting for her to call. David said that he was working but agreed to meet me at our favorite club when he finished. I made sure I had my cell phone with me and even put it on vibrate so I wouldn't miss her call. I'd had two drinks when David finally showed up, beer in hand. "I figured you'd be on the dance floor having yourself a good time. Why the hell are you just sitting at the table all alone?" David blasted into me "Waiting for you and for Angie to call, if you must know," was my quick response. "Dude, you do know she's here, don't you?" I just looked at him. "She's with that girl Judy, you know the one with the nice ass, and two others." "Where? Show me." We walked over to the far side of the dance floor and sure as hell, there they were, dancing with one another. "Motherfucker," was the first thing that came to my mind. "See, I told you. Why don't you go over there and ask her to dance? You're not afraid of getting shot down are you?" I suppose I was. I waited for another song to start before I could get up enough courage to make my move. I was walking over to her when I saw she was already dancing with some other guy. Shit, now what? I found myself standing in the middle of the dance floor feeling very foolish. I turned and went back to where I started. "Steve, as soon as the song ends don't wait, get your ass over there and ask her." David lambasted into me about being so slow on the uptake. I didn't wait until for the song to end. I worked my way around the edge of the dance floor and waited my turn, which never happened. It seemed Angie had a full dance card. Another guy was now monopolizing her time. I knew she had to have seen me by then standing there like a frigging idiot waiting my turn, I know Judy did. After the sixth or seventh song, I just said screw it and walked away. I told David I was out of there and headed for the front door. "Steve, where the hell are you going?" I turned around, looked at Judy, and continued heading towards the door again. When she said, "Angie knows you're here," I stopped and turned around again. "Then why in the hell is she playing these fucking games?" Judy stood there with her mouth open. "Tell her not to worry, I won't be bothering her anymore. I'm tired of paying the price for what I did." I think she called out my name once more but I was out the door by then. Time to move on with my life. Sunday I ignored two e-mails and one call from Angie. "Now she wants to talk?" I deleted them all without even hearing what she had to say. I had fucked up. I admitted it to Angie and was willing to make amends, but I wasn't going to be made a fool of. Looks like Angie is the type that doesn't forgive or forget, so be it. Monday sucked and Tuesday wasn't much better. My boss was on my ass for something I didn't get done for which I only had myself to blame, but that didn't make it any easier. I was in a foul mood by the time I got home, and to compound it, I had only one beer left in the refrigerator. I had just popped the top when I heard someone at the front door. Looking through the peephole, I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door. "Judy, what do you want?" "You won't return her e-mails or calls." "So?" "Angie's afraid she went too far this time." "Judy, why are you here? Maybe a better question would be why in the hell isn't Angie?" "She's afraid you wouldn't talk to her." She didn't look too comfortable being here herself. "Screw this shit, just a second." I went back into my apartment, put my beer on the counter, and grabbed my key ring and jacket. "It's time to move this off dead center, we're going to see Angie." I waited for Judy to reply. When she didn't say anything, I continued. "I don't care if you call ahead and warn her, but she better be there when we arrive." I got in my car and followed Judy to Angie's parents' house. It took fifteen minutes to make the usual ten-minute drive. I think Judy drove under the speed limit just to give Angie extra time, for what reason I didn't have a clue. She pulled up on the driveway and I parked in the street, just in case her brothers were there and I needed to beat a hasty retreat. Judy stood by her car while I walked up to the front door and rang the bell, twice. Her mother opened the door. "Steve, this is a nice surprise, come on in," she welcomed me, stepping aside. "It's been too long, come in, make yourself at home." "Thank you, Mrs. Thomas." "How many times do I have to tell you, it's Carla," she hastily replied, with a full-tooth smile. "Mike will be sorry he missed you, he's at the Elk's lodge doing who knows what," she said, shaking her head. "I'll go get Angie for you." It seems like everyone was stalling for time. Finally Angie walked down the stairs. "Hi, Steve. Judy said you two were on your way over here. Did I push it too far the other night?" I walked over to her, pulled her into my arms and gave her a full mouth kiss. That shocked the hell out of her. "Angie, no more games between us. I screwed up big time, I know it, and it will never happen again, I promise. I was a fool to let you get away. I want you back with me, but only if you want to be with me. I wasn't lying that night when I told you I loved you. I meant it then and if you give me a second chance I'll prove it to you all over again." I wasn't giving her a chance to speak until I got my whole say in. Still holding her I let out a sigh of relief. "You done?" "Yes, I think I've said it all." I still hung onto her. "Honey, will Steve be staying for supper?" Angie's mom inquired, poking her head around the corner from the kitchen. Angie turned her head towards the kitchen. "Give me a half an hour and I'll get back with you on that one." She turned back to me. "You can release me anytime you want, and don't worry I won't run away." "Not until you tell me why. Why the games Saturday night?" "Steve, I didn't even see you standing there at first. I was just dancing with whoever asked me. When I finally saw you, I don't know, maybe I wanted you to see that other guys found me attractive and wanted to be with me. Maybe I wanted to make you jealous, I don't know. But the next thing I knew you were gone and so was Judy. She told me later how angry you were. Believe it or not, I tried to catch you, but by the time I got there you were racing out of the parking lot like a wild man, and you know the rest. Can you forgive me for being a bitch?" "There are way too many things we're both have to forgive each other for. How about we go back to where we were a year ago and start again?" "I'd love to, but things are different now." "I know that, I've grown up and I guess you also have. It'll be kind of like starting over." I was smiling now. "It's a bit more complicated than that. I haven't been totally one hundred percent honest with you, and I don't know exactly how to bring it up." "Angie, what happened in the past is done and over with. I'm not going to ask you what you've done this past year and I've already told you in detail what I have. It's all water over the dam." "Well, it's not quite so easy in my case." "Angie, if you've got something to say, just say it. I'm not going to bite your head off." "Steve, don't be too sure." I gave her my best stern look. "Look, I'm not going to let you go until you tell me, I've got all night." "All right," she cleared her throat. "Maybe it might be easier to show you." She reached for my hand leading me up the stairs, down the hall and into her bedroom. "His name is Dwayne, after my grandfather." There in a crib sleeping was a light brown baby boy. "I don't understand?" But the words how and when were really the first words that came to my mind. "You do know, he's yours?" she said, now looking at me for some type of reaction. "I thought he'd be lighter skinned since my skin is more of a milk chocolate brown color and not very dark, and you're pretty damn white." Turns out besides my cheating, her big hang up was that I was cheating on her with a good-looking white girl. She felt like I was indirectly telling her that she wasn't good enough for me, or so she thought. How very wrong she was. "Steve, you were never going to find out. I was going to raise him by myself and give him the best life I could. I had to move back in with Mom and Dad because I still needed to work. I took a field position to get away from you. Hell, you would have known something was up the first time you saw me. I kept tabs on you for a little while and Judy was the one who told me you'd broken up with that slut." "I don't understand, when?" I started to say. Then I remembered the last time we'd been intimate. I saw Angie sigh and shrug her shoulders. "Guess my body clock was really off." She listened as I went off on her for the next ten minutes. I was way beyond pissed at this point. "Angie, what kind of asshole do you think I am? Did you really think I would have abandoned you? Don't you think I would have done the right thing?" "Steve, think about it, I'd just caught you cheating on me. I was hurt and damn mad. I didn't even know about the baby for weeks after that night. By that time we were no longer a couple and I needed to make some hard decisions for the baby I was carrying, and for me. I didn't say I made all the right ones, it's just that I had to deal with what I was dealt." For the next five minutes neither one of us said anything. I watched my son sleep allowing my brain to process what was going on. "Whose name is on his birth certificate?" "Only mine. Under father I listed unknown." I gave her an angry look. "I'm sorry but I wasn't going to strap you with a child you didn't want." Revisiting My Past "You never gave me a chance!" I was wondering what could possibly be next when her mother stuck her head into her bedroom. "Kids, dinner is ready. I think the two of you two could use a little break." She was right. We ate silently, watching each other. Her mother asked what I'd been up to, how my parents were, and if there was anything new? She stopped for a second and smiled. "Sorry about that." "Tomorrow you and I are going down to the courthouse and take care of that birth certificate omission. I can't very well have my son going through life with an 'unknown' listed on his birth certificate under father." Her mom smiled, but Angie didn't. "Steve, we still have issues to resolve." "Damn right we do!" I shouted. Carla frowned. "I mean darn right we do," I repeated in a much quieter voice. Carla smiled and nodded this time. "But we can't address them apart from each other and certainly not through e-mails and phone calls." "Why don't we take it slow and see what happens." "Angie, it's already happened." "You know what I mean. Just because you're Dwayne's father doesn't mean we're back together again. I need time, everything's happening too fast, and I don't want to make another mistake again. I can't, it's not just me any longer." "Look, I don't know how many times I have to say I love you. I loved you before Dwayne, and I love you even more now if that's at all possible. I'm willing to take another shot at it if you are." I reached for her hand. "Please?" I looked at her and then back at her mother who was again smiling, showing her approval We spent the next six months getting reacquainted. We talked, did a lot of the same things we'd done before, and made new memories. Was it easy? Hell, no. More than once I didn't think we'd make it. I now had to adjust to being number two in her life. But we did things like a family and took Dwayne with us wherever we went. All my family was overjoyed with Angie and Dwayne, but it was touch and go with her two older brothers. They'd watched their pregnant little sister get fat and go it alone for nine difficult months and wanted to make me pay. I'm glad they were there for her. I can't say even now they've forgiven me totally but we're working on it. "What do you want to do today?" Angie asked me early one Saturday morning, waking up next to me in bed. "I don't care," I said, stroking her arm. "But I have a few ideas I'd like to explore." Her kisses were hot and things were progressing nicely when I heard a familiar cry. "Your turn," she said, rolling over and grabbing her pillow. I slapped her on the ass. My son, our son, was changed, fed, and brought smiling to our bed. I laid him down between us, put my lips on his bare belly and blew hard as his stomach rippled and made a loud noise. He smiled and giggled. Gently I put him on his mommy's stomach. "After all this time you still can't put his diaper on right," she said, turning and adjusting it. That's when she noticed the extra large safety pin on the front. "Steve, you wouldn't have to pin them if you'd do it right. Then she saw it sparkle. Angie looked at me and undid the oversized pin. The ring came off and fell into the palm of her hand and still she said nothing. She slipped it on her finger and stretched out her hand just looking at it. "Aren't you supposed to say something? You know like making an honest woman out of me or something to that effect?" "Naw, I think I'll just ask you to marry me and live happily ever after." She didn't scream, shout, or yell, we done all those things before. We kissed and I asked her the question seriously this time around and she said yes. No one was surprised. Our moms both said it was long overdue. She wanted a splash of a wedding and that's exactly what she got, white gown and all. Because of our conflicting work schedules the best we could do was schedule a four-day honeymoon, but in essence we'd been on a honeymoon for the last six months. I think her father summed it up best. Looking over at his wife he announced to all our wedding guests that the honeymoon only ends when you let it. Picking his wine glass up off the table he said, "I would like to propose a toast." He looked at his daughter and her new husband. "Angie and Steve, remember to live each day like it was your last and to love each other like it was your first time together," he stopped, took a breath, lifted up his glass higher and added, "and one more thing, never go to bed angry." Everyone shouted out, "Here, here," as we gave each other a soft, tender kiss that sealed the bond between us, we were one again, forever and always.