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Respect Ch. 01

By: rachaelross



Note: This story is significantly changed from the original post on ASSM and SOL particularly in Chapters 1 and 8 ...thanks for reading -rr

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This story is composed of 4 chapters of approximately 10K words each.

Copyright 2006 Rachael Ross all rights reserved.

*

I couldn't bear the thought of sneaking around all the time. Going behind my husband's back to meet a boyfriend. He loves me and trusts me, so I don't want to hurt him, but I need a little more than he can give me, you know? He works so hard, putting food on our table, buying me little unexpected gifts that are just perfect. He's a pretty amazing guy, my husband, I'm a lucky woman and I know it. So I don't want to lose him. But, gosh, I just need...sex.

I'm only 20 years old, but sometimes I feel a lot older, just because I only get it from my husband maybe once every two weeks or so. He's tired, I know, exhausted from the daily stress. And he does try, but I hate making him do it, when he's so obviously uninterested. I do buy sexy clothes for him; you know lingerie, stockings and garters, thongs and peek-a-boo bras. I'm 5'4" tall about 105lbs, with a good hard body, a great ass, fine legs, and I got a boob job, so my breasts are magnificent 34C's now. My face is pretty, my teeth fine, my eyes brown and hair a long healthy wave of black silk. So, I don't know what else to do, nothing seems to work with him.

Maybe it's because I'm just not into really weird stuff, you know? I mean dressing up is okay, it's even fun, but when we first started dating, and even right after we were married he'd ask me to try things. But I guess I'm olad fashioned? Or it was my upbringing maybe, which I'd never thought of as being particularly strict, anyway I just wasn't comfortable with some of the things he suggested. But we could still have sex, wouldn't you think? That was all I really wanted and it was frustrating when he wouldn't give it to me.

Like I said though, I didn't really want to fool around on him. I love him. I masturbated a lot, and that helped, but not much. I need a man's touch. So, I was talking with a friend of mine named Clarice. Her husband is always there with her, a very attentive man of about 35 or so. She's 38 and comfortable with that as she's a strikingly attractive woman. I use her for my role model when I go shopping. If I look at a dress, I say to myself, 'Would Clarice wear something like this?' and if the answer is no, then I don't want it. So she has a lot of influence over me.

I started talking to her one day about my sex life. Actually, I think she brought it up, speaking at first about another friend of hers whom I vaguely knew. Clarice doesn't gossip very much, so this surprised me, but the conversation soon changed to mine, as I said. I told her I was a little frustrated, I supposed, because my husband wasn't very active in that department. He had a low sex drive, I shrugged.

"And yours is...high?" Clarice smiled at me.

"Yeah." I nodded and giggled a little self-consciously. "High like through the roof sometimes, you know?"

"Yes, I think I do." She was smiling at me. "Have you taken a lover?"

I gasped at that. "No, of course not!" I told her. We'd only gotten married 8 months before. "I thought it was common decency to wait at least a year!" I joked.

Clarice laughed too. "I have several lovers." She told me. "It really is the best thing when two people are in love, but just unsatisfied in that one small way."

I looked at James, her husband who was sitting there nearby, reading a book and drinking some iced tea. He must have heard his wife's words, which means he must have known...and didn't care? I wondered about that.

"Oh, James doesn't mind if I have lovers, do you James?" She smiled at her husband.

"No dear, of course not." He looked up and smiled back at her.

"See, Lisa?"

"But, uh, excuse me for being nosy, why doesn't your husband care?" I couldn't help but ask, could I?

"Oh, he probably would if I hadn't had him castrated." Clarice shrugged. "But since I've removed his balls, he's so much more relaxed and understanding."

"You...What?" I couldn't have heard her right. "I'm sorry Clarice, did you say you removed his...balls?"

"Well, I didn't do it of course. I have a friend, a doctor friend, who specializes in that sort of thing. She's very good; maybe you should talk to her about Jack."

Jack was my husband. "But, oh...I don't think so. He'd never even think about that, and besides we want to have children someday, so..." I was shaking my head.

"Well, it was just a thought, Lisa." Clarice smiled and changed the subject. 

But the seed had been planted, as she'd known it would be, and I often found myself thinking about what she'd told me. I tried to picture what my husband would look like without his balls. They really were kind of ugly. I mean, I know some women like them, but I found them to be rather...unseemly. A hairy little sack swinging back and forth? Ugh! Where was the excitement in that?

One night, lying in bed with my husband, I started fondling his cock, trying to get him stirred up because I was feeling the need. But he just sighed and rubbed my thigh. He loved me, but he said he was just too wound up to relax, he had numbers and accounts and clients dancing through his head. He needed to work extra hard because we needed a new car, blah blah blah...I'd heard it all before and it didn't make the ache between my legs feel any better.

I felt his balls, hairy and warm, rolling them around in my fingers gently. I started thinking that maybe losing those wouldn't be such a bad thing. Clarice's husband was perfectly normal, very calm, almost sedate, but a lot of fun to be around too. He was the model of a good husband, just like Jack. The only real difference was that James didn't mind if his wife had a lover, whereas my husband...I couldn't even imagine his reaction.

"Jack?" I whispered.

"Hmmm?" He responded softly. "What is it, baby?"

"What do you think of castration?"

"Huh?" He rolled over. "Castration? Are you getting a dog?"

"No, Jack, I mean like a guy, a man getting castrated."

"Oh. Mmm...I don't know." He started sleeping about then and I rolled over, frustrated as usual and finding it hard to sleep.

If Jack was castrated, I kept thinking, perhaps I could be with another man then. I could be having all the sex I could handle and Jack wouldn't care. He'd still be the same, and I'd be so much happier. He might be happier too, Clarice seemed to think so. It really could work, I thought, if we could get around the baby issue.

I spoke with Clarice a couple days later, asking her about that doctor she'd mentioned.

"Oh, have you been thinking about getting Jack fixed?" She asked.

We were seated in the backyard with a young Hispanic woman, Roselyn, who couldn't have been more than 18 or 19 at the most. She was exotic, which made her all the more beautiful with her dark skin and black eyes. I didn't understand exactly what her relationship with Clarice was, but the two women seemed close somehow. 

"Uh, kind of, I don't know. I'd just like to ask some questions, you know?"

"Oh sure, I have her phone number in my address book. Roselyn, would you be a dear and get Dr. Lyon's phone number please? It's on my writing desk. Thanks sweetie."

"Yes ma'am." The young woman nodded and walked off to find the information. 

"Oh Dr. Lyons really is very good, too. You'll like her I think. She's been castrating men for years and I've never heard of anyone complaining." Clarice continued, gazing after her Hispanic friend.

"There are more castrated men in town?" For some reason I'd imagined Jim as the only one.

"Oh yes, dear!" Clarice chuckled. "Quite a few in fact. Most of my friends have had their husband's castrated already. It really is a very trendy thing nowadays, even among newlyweds like yourselves."

"Really?" I was surprised at that.

Roselyn returned with the phone number, written on a piece of stationary for me in her neat handwriting. "Here you are, Lisa." She gave me a little smile. She was quite beautiful but there was something about her dark eyes that was vaguely unsettling.

"Oh, okay. Thanks Roselyn, thank you Clarice." I smiled at the two women and decided I'd call this doctor and see what the deal was.

-=-=-

"Sunrise Care Services, my name is Peter, how may I direct your call." A very nice man asked me.

"Uh, Dr. Lyon's office please."

"Thank you, have a nice day." He said and then another phone was ringing.

"Good morning, Dr. Lyon's office, Nurse Ryan speaking, may I help you?"

"Hi, good morning, I got your number from a friend of mine and I was wanting some information regarding a, uh...castration procedure?" I actually blushed when I said it, I think, although I don't know why.

"Sure, I can answer any questions you might have. Could I have your name please?" She sounded very young.

"My...name? I just wanted to ask..."

"I understand, we just like to keep a record of who calls, the information is confidential, I assure you."

"Oh, well, my name is Lisa Pavageau and my husband's name is Jack." I hadn't meant to say that!

"Then I take it this is regarding the castration of your husband?"

"Uh, yes." I winced.

"And how old is your husband, Lisa?"

"He's um, 27 years old."

"Oh, that's a good age to get castrated." The woman told me.

"It is?"

"Oh yes, there's numerous health issues related to the testicles that first arise in the 25-35 age bracket. Many of these problems are undetectable by normal examinations until the they become symptomatic, and by then the medical costs of treatment is much higher, and the likelihood of successful treatment much lower. So many men who are very ill today, in their 40's and 50's would be living much better, healthier lives if they'd been castrated when they'd been 30 or so."

"Really?" I wondered how she remembered all that, but maybe Dr. Lyons really did have a lot of customers...er, patients or whatever.

"Oh, yes ma'am, that's a medical fact. Of course the biggest issue is that the medical establishment is largely run by men, if you catch my meaning, Lisa." She chuckled softly.

"Ah." I said, being a little unsure of what she meant.

"Men being, well, men...They're a little reluctant to publish the fact that castration as a preventive medical measure is both feasible and desirable."

"I see." Actually castration as preventive medicine sounded a little strange to me. I mean I wouldn't want to get a mastectomy to prevent breast cancer, would I? "But what about, uh babies? I want to, we want to, start a family and if..."

"Oh we always preserve sperm specimens from all of our patients. Your husband's sperm would be stored indefinitely, and available for in utero fertilization any time you desired it. The viability of the process is right around 98% which means very little of the spermatozoa itself is degraded, and in general terms it isn't even worth worrying about since the average patient donates roughly 10CC's of sperm containing literally millions of healthy sperm cells."

"So I could get pregnant any time I wanted?"

"That's right Lisa, exactly like that. All that is required is your husband to sign a few forms releasing his sperm for fertilization. He can sign those anytime and they'll stand up in any court in the country. Our clinic isn't interested in a hypothetical custodial battle over sperm;" she giggled, "we leave that to the daytime talk shows."

"So even if we got...divorced, I could still get impregnated by him?"

"As long as the paperwork has been done, sure."

Wow! My mind was going a hundred miles an hour. Is there such a thing as too much good news? That made me smile, but still, the whole castration thing was sounding strange too. This girl was almost excited about it!

"And, um...what about the procedure itself?" I wondered. "Is it..."

Nurse Ryan reassured me immediately. "Oh, the procedure is very simple. Unless your husband has complications, such as hemophilia for example, the castration itself is an out-patient procedure. That means he comes in and we prep him for surgery, Dr. Lyons removes his testes and excess tissue, and we suture him back up. It takes less than two hours and he's back home."

"It doesn't hurt, does it?" I had no desire to hurt my husband, of course.

"No. Not at all. We generally prefer to use just a local anesthetic, since anytime a patient is put unconscious it creates small but unavoidable risks. Of course, some men, many men, would prefer to be completely out during their castration." Nurse Ryan laughed. "But unless there's a real medical reason, we keep them awake. Dr, Lyons believes that seeing their balls removed is also good for the psychological health of the patient."

"I see." I paused for a moment, wondering if I'd asked about everything I wanted to.

"Would you like to set up a consultation?" Nurse Ryan suggested.

"Oh! Uh...I don't know, um..."

"It's okay, you probably haven't really had a chance to discuss this with your husband yet, have you?" Nurse Ryan must have had a lot of experience with young wives like me.

"No, um...not yet."

"Well, you could still come by, if you like. By yourself, or with your husband, and see our facilities, meet Dr. Lyons. Especially if you find it hard to talk to your husband. We might be able to suggest some methods to convince him of the value castration can add to his life...and yours, Lisa."

I could almost hear Nurse Ryan's smile through the phone and I couldn't help but make an appointment with Dr. Lyons for the following week. I wasn't really sold on the idea, it was just one of those weird thoughts really, but if Clarice seemed to think it was a good idea...

As we lay in bed that night, I broached the subject again with my husband. "Dear?" I was rubbing his chest lightly, knowing all too well that I'd probably get no physical interest out of him. "I was thinking about that...thing...that we talked about the other night."

"Mmm..." He murmured sleepily. "What thing?"

"The castration thing." I glanced at him but he just lay there. "Did you know it can be really good for you?"

"Good for me? What?" Jack turned over, onto his side facing me.

"Castration, the doctors say it can be really healthy."

"Lisa." He almost laughed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I love you. I just want to do what's best for you, that's all." I didn't add that I thought it would be pretty good for me too.

"I have the biggest presentation of my life in three days." He sighed. "The president is going to be there, the CFO, all the department heads..." Jack shook his head. "And you're talking about cutting off my balls?" He did laugh then.

"Well, I think it would help you." I shrugged a little. "The lady I spoke to said a lot of stress comes from having balls." I wasn't explaining this very well, was I?

"A lady? A woman?" Jack closed his eyes. "What would any woman know about balls?" He rolled over again. "Just go to sleep, okay?"

He wasn't taking me seriously, I realized. I was just his trophy wife, not someone he wanted advice from. It made me more than a little sad and try as I might, I just couldn't think of a way to make my concern for him any plainer. I really hoped Dr. Lyons would have some ideas, if not about castration, then a pill to make him horny, at least.

I kept my appointment, feeling vaguely uneasy that I was alone. Jack should have been with me, but Nurse Ryan, who turned out to be a very attractive young girl, maybe 20 years old and just out of nursing school, reassured me.

"Most of our patients don't come to the first visit." She smiled and patted my arm. "Their husbands, or boyfriends, even sons and fathers sometimes, just don't understand how important their well-being is to the people around them."

I nodded, she was expressing exactly how I felt. If Jack only knew how much I cared about him, he would have come along. I filled out some forms in the waiting room. It was a very nice office, well appointed and pleasant. Not so much like a hospital at all.

There was another woman there, older than I, perhaps forty or so, and she smiled politely at me. Next to her sat a teenaged boy, looking somewhat bored and acting the tough, but it was obvious he was nervous. He was good looking, with short brown hair and a too big t-shirt, worn jeans and unlaced hiking boots. He looked like a typical teenager and I largely ignored him.

"Is this your first visit?" The woman asked me, when it was obvious I'd finished the forms. I nodded. "Husband?"

"Yes, my husband...I'm just getting some information really." I sounded like I was telling a sales clerk I was just browsing a store. "I mean, he isn't really interested in it."

The woman stared at me for a second and then laughed happily like I'd just told her a really good joke. "Oh, they never are! Believe me. I have a husband and three boys. But if Kevin wants to play football..."

Just then Nurse Ryan returned and took my forms. She smiled at Kevin. "Are you ready, Kevin? Right this way please." The boy practically jumped at the sound of his name and he looked at his mother with wide, pleading eyes, but when the woman stood up, the handsome youth did the same. I watched them leave wondering what playing football had to do with being castrated.

"Excuse me." I caught the nurse as she was walking by. I knew it was rude but... "That boy, Kevin, is he going to be...?"

Nurse Ryan looked at me, slightly confused. "What? Castrated?" I nodded and she giggled. "Good heavens, no! He's just getting a prostate exam for his sports physical." She looked around and lowered her voice. "He doesn't really need one, but his mom's a little...you know...overprotective." She twirled her finger near her right ear. "It won't hurt him anyway; Dr. Lyons is very gentle with our younger patients."

"Oh." I actually let out a little sigh of relief for young Kevin. "Uh, good."

Perhaps 15 minutes later I was surprised to see a very good looking man, dressed in green scrubs with a lab coat over his broad shoulders, approaching me. "Lisa?" I smiled and stood up, feeling a little self-conscious beneath his soft brown eyes. "I'm Dr. Prescott, the clinic psychologist." He smiled and I felt my knees go weak. When he took my hand gently in his, it was worse. This guy, I thought to myself, belonged in an art gallery. Or at least in some underwear ads.

"It's nice to meet you." I blinked, feeling my stomach doing little flip-flops. I could smell him. Not his cologne, not the soap he used. I could smell him. It was obscene.

"Dr. Lyons is with a patient right now, but I thought I could have a little chat with you." He let go of my hand and put his palm in the small of my back, making me give a slight gasp. "Would you like to come to my office?"

I nodded dumbly, not trusting my voice. I let him lead me gently down a warm, carpeted corridor and into a spacious office with a nice view. There was a desk, of course, but also a comfortable chair and small sofa, a love seat really, arranged in the corner. We moved there and I sat on the loveseat. I declined his offer of coffee and watched as he sat in the chair, leaning forward so that we were very close.

"Now you're here about your husband, right?"

"Yes, uh, yeah...Jack, my husband." I was looking into the doctor's eyes and having a very hard time remembering what my husband even looked like.

"So, I understand that you're interested in having him castrated." He nodded to himself. "But..." He smiled, inviting me to explain.

"But, uh...He's not very...interested." I admitted. "He doesn't really take me seriously."

Dr. Prescott nodded in understanding. "We'll talk about Jack in a moment. Why do you think it would be good to have this procedure?"


Respect Ch. 01



"Well, um...I love him." I had to say that. "I...he's under a lot of stress, at work. Maybe if he were...fixed..." I smiled weakly. "It would make things easier for him."

The truth was I wasn't sure if I wanted him to have that procedure or not. I mean I knew all the selfish reasons, especially since Clarice and James seemed so happy, but now that I was actually sitting there, I felt like an actress saying what I did. It was like I'd put myself in a hole and I really had no choice but to keep digging.

"I see." Dr. Prescott pursed his lips. "The testicles can certainly contribute to emotional as well as physical problems, especially if the patient works in a high-stress environment." He paused. "How is your personal life, Lisa?"

"What?" I frowned slightly. "My...personal life?"

"Yes." He shrugged. "Your sex life. Are you satisfied by your husband?"

I made a face and Dr. Prescott smiled. "Uh, no. I'm not satisfied."

"You realize that once your husband is castrated he'll lose virtually all interest in sex."

It was my turn to laugh. "That would be an improvement, Doctor, believe me." I closed my eyes. "Jack has no interest in sex now."

"Okay." Dr. Prescott looked at me, leaning back into his chair. "So, tell me, Lisa...What specifically is your interest in this? Your personal benefit from castrating your husband?"

"I..." I wasn't sure I wanted to answer this beautiful man, doctor or not. "I'm only 20 Doctor." I folded my arms across my breasts protectively. "I need...sex. I guess." I hoped that didn't make sound like a slut or something and I could feel my face reddening slightly.

"Well, of course you do, Lisa." He laughed and I blushed hard then. "So how does this help?"

"I want to...to take a lover." I looked down. "And maybe if...if...Jack was castrated..."

"He wouldn't care?" Dr. Prescott offered. "You'd feel justified having a relationship, a sexual relationship, outside the normal bounds of marriage?"

"Yes." I looked up, as if daring the man to disapprove me. "I won't cheat on him. Not now, like this...I can't."

"But if he were castrated and unable to perform, you think he'd...approve?" Dr. Prescott arched his eyebrows. He didn't wait for my obvious reply. "What if he didn't approve?"

"If he...didn't?" I hadn't thought about that. "I don't know. I-I'd..."

"Would it matter to you? Really? Would it bother you having an affair with another man, knowing your husband disapproves..." he smiled. "And knowing at the same time that he was powerless to give you the satisfaction you need?"

"But he doesn't give it to me now..." I was feeling confused.

"But right now you're not having an affair. Is it because he wouldn't approve? Or is it because he maintains at least the potential to give you pleasure?"

"I don't know."

"Are you afraid of your husband, Lisa?"

"What? No! No, not at all." I shook my head.

"Then why are you afraid of having an affair?" He asked reasonably.

"Because...uh, because he's my husband. I love him." I looked out the windows briefly. "I respect him too much to do that to him."

"And so what would be the difference if he was castrated?"

"I'm...I don't know."

"You'd still love him?" Dr. Prescott asked.

"Of course, yes. Always." I had no doubt in my heart.

"Then...if it isn't fear, as you've said. And you'd still love him...then what changes?" He smiled and held out his hands.

"Respect?" I wondered softly.

"Can you respect a man with no balls, Lisa?" Dr. Prescott made it sound like the very idea was repugnant.

I thought about it carefully. I'd still respect my husband, I mean as a husband. As the person who loved me, who supported me. But as a man? Was he a man? Would he still be without his testicles?

"Lisa?" The Dr. prodded gently.

"No." I whispered, feeling the words escape my lips like a small betrayal.

"No." Dr. Prescott agreed. "Of course you couldn't. A beautiful woman like you. A woman who needs so much, and has so much to offer to the right...man." He shook his head sadly. "You can't respect him now, can you? As a man?"

I shook my head sadly, feeling bewildered more than anything else. I felt like Dr. Prescott had just spun me around a whole bunch of times and I was going to fall down any second. Did I really feel this way? I wasn't sure at all. But Jack couldn't even make love to me more than a few times a month. A real man, I was sure, would take me every chance he had. In every possible way he could ever want. He would do things to me...awful, terrible and beautiful things to make my body scream with ecstasy. My husband wasn't really a man at all, or so it somehow seemed. And if I understood what this doctor was telling me then I didn't respect him at all, did I.

"I..." I licked my lips, trying to find words for the thought forming in my mind. "I could respect him again, if he was castrated...couldn't I, doctor?"

"Of course you could." He smiled and nodded, plainly happy with me, but hat just confused me even more. I'd almost thought he was trying to talk me out of it.

Just then there was a knock at the door and an auburn haired woman entered the room, smiling. She was dressed in scrubs as well, with a lab coat and carrying a clipboard. She was tall and thin, with a pretty face. Her blue eyes were bright and her smile genuine.

"Ah, Dr. Lyons." Dr. Prescott stood up. "I was just speaking with Lisa, getting a feel for her situation."

"Good, good!" Dr. Lyons nodded and walked over, shaking my hand. "I'm Theresa Lyons, it's so nice to meet you, Lisa." She sat down next to me and Dr. Prescott took his chair again. "I've looked over your file, just briefly. So, you're interested in having your husband castrated?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"And you've had a little chat with Dr. Prescott." She looked at her colleague. "How was that?"

"Well..." He looked at me. "I'm not sure Jack, Lisa's husband, is really a good candidate for the procedure, frankly."

I stared at him, wondering what he was saying.

"The issue isn't so much Jack's health, or his present physical condition. If he was...mmm...exhibiting deviant sexuality, was sexually addicted, or if he was simply prone to serial infidelity..." He gave me a little smile. "...In such cases castration is a preferred and very successful form of treatment. But this isn't the case here. Jack's lack of interest in sex has resulted in the inability of Lisa to recognize his traditional role as the dominant partner in their marriage. She can't respect him as a man. She loves him, obviously, cares about him and responds to Jack's ability to support her..."

"Do you agree with Dr. Prescott, Lisa?" Dr. Lyons was tapping her pen against her clipboard softly.

"I...I guess so, yes." I nodded. I wasn't really prepared to dispute him; I just hadn't expected the man to speak so bluntly.

"I haven't spoken to Lisa's husband about this, of course, so I can't predict how he would react emotionally. Lisa's hope is that he would approve and even encourage her in seeking extra-marital affairs. My belief, my instinct...based in a large part on my observations of Lisa...are that Jack is a competitive, even protective individual, who would not willingly approve any such activities."

"What...uh, what does that mean?" I asked.

"It means, Lisa, you're a trophy wife. You're Jack's trophy wife and unless I'm very much mistaken, losing his balls is going to have very little to do with giving up something so important to his self-image. In fact, the effect achieved may be the opposite of what is intended. He might be inclined to paranoia, exemplified by fits of jealous rage."

"What?" I sounded shocked because I was. Jack going into a jealous rage? I would never believe it. "But I thought castrated men were...more calm. Had less testosterone or whatever it is."

"That's true dear. But the response that concerns us is caused by your husband's personality, his ego to put it in the simplest terms, and that does not change overnight." Dr. Lyons nodded and her voice softened. "We're not saying that's what will happen, of course. Once Dr. Prescott is able to meet your husband it becomes much easier to predict his reaction. But we do have a lot of experience to draw on and your story is not an unfamiliar one by any means."

"You want to meet him? My husband?" I wondered how I would ever talk Jack into coming to the clinic.

"That is the next logical step, Lisa." Dr. Prescott nodded. "It can be very informal, the information I need is fairly simple to gather from just a normal conversation really."

"So you're saying Jack doesn't need to know that you're a doctor?"

"Exactly." He smiled. "Your husband doesn't even need to come to my office, we could meet anywhere he would feel most comfortable."

"But please keep in mind Lisa, castration is not always the best option." Dr. Lyons told me. "You can't plan on it, okay? There are many considerations and there are other options available to you as well."

"What other options?" I looked at her, knowing I'd had my heart set on castrating my husband.

"Well, we can talk about those another time. After Dr. Prescott is able to make a better recommendation." She patted my knee. "I need to see another appointment, but you just be patient, okay?" She gave me a warm, sympathetic smile and left.

Dr. Prescott rose and I stood up then as well, thanking him. I told him I'd give him a call in a day or two and hopefully we'd be able to schedule something, a time when he could meet my husband. I offered him my hand and he took it gently, smiling.

"Lisa, before you leave..." He looked into my eyes. "I was wondering if you'd do something for me."

"Oh?" I gave a little smile of my own. "What's that, doctor?"

"Get on your knees and suck my cock for me." He put his hands on my shoulders as I stood there, my jaw hanging open in shock. "Go on, be a good little slut." 

"Excuse me?" I felt my heart stop and I couldn't breathe. "I don't...No! I can't!" I tried to sound indignant, but I made no effort to slap his face, like I should have done. Or even to leave the man's office.

"Yes you can." He spoke gently, reassuring me even as his hands pressed down on my shoulders, urging me to do as he demanded. "You don't respect Jack anyway, do you? Why should you suffer for a man you can't respect, Lisa?"

"But I..." My breasts heaved as I blinked into the doctor's face, trying to find an argument, or a reason not to do what we both wanted.

"Shhh...You need this, even more than you know, Lisa. You need a man you can respect, a real man who wants you." I felt my strength weakening, like my willpower was draining away with every word the man uttered. "Jack lost his balls a long time ago, didn't he Lisa?"

"Wha...what?" I was looking up at him as my knees touched the carpet.

"Take it out, go on, Lisa..." He coached me gently.

"I don't...I can't...please, don't make me..." I was pleading with him, but my hands had gone to his trousers, feeling the largeness trapped inside.

"Shhh...don't say that...just do it..." He laughed. "You need a strong man, don't you Lisa?"

I nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes." I whispered as I unzipped his pants, reaching into the warmth and finding his semi-hard cock. It felt huge in my hands and I pulled it free, gasping at the size of his organ.

"A real man, Lisa." He put a hand on my head, stroking my hair. "With real balls, who isn't afraid to take a woman if he wants..."

"Yes..." I whispered again and I had to hold his lengthening penis in both hands. It had to be 8 or maybe even 9 inches long and so thick that my fingers couldn't even go all the way around it! It was nothing like my husband's cock, which wasn't really small, just average.

"Suck it now...wash my big dick, Lisa...Show me how bad you want to fuck it!" He was pulling my head closer and I groaned with my embarrassing desire as I let him, opening my mouth for that huge swollen head and letting it stretch my lips wide. I'd never done this before, not even for my husband, and I shuddered at the thought of doing it now for a total stranger.

"Too big?" Dr. Prescott laughed. "Lick it first then, get it nice and wet and then we'll make it fit, Lisa!"

I licked his shaft up and down, letting my saliva run across his hot flesh, working my hands back and forth until it was shiny and dark, pulsing in my hands. I ran my tongue along the underside, around the crown and tickled that hard beautiful cock everywhere I could. I kissed it, spit on it, and let it slide across my lips and cheeks and nose.

"Take out my balls, Lisa...Wash them for me!" 

I nodded, as though I were in some sex induced trance, and pulled his balls free so they hung like two huge plums trapped in his silky soft wrinkled sack. I felt them gently, marveling at their size and weight as I hefted them in my hand. Dr. Prescott pulled me closer, urging me to take them into my mouth, one at a time, and wash them thoroughly with my tongue. I sucked the man's balls tenderly, savoring his male scent and salty taste. Here was a real man, I knew, a man to be respected and worshipped!

When Dr. Prescott had enough of my mouth on his balls, he pulled my head back, his fingers twisting in my hair. He stroked his huge cock briefly and aimed it at my mouth, pushing the swollen head between my parted lips. "Suck it Lisa, oh! Suck it you beautiful bitch!" He pushed his cock into my mouth, even though I was unprepared for it, but that only made it better!

I felt my lips being stretched taut around him, his cockhead seeming to fill my mouth completely, leaving no room for my tongue or even my teeth. He grunted, holding my head tight in his hands while I braced myself against Dr. Prescott's powerful thighs. I dug my fingernails into his legs as he pushed, shoving that great prick inside me another inch and making me gag loudly.

"Choke on it!" He laughed. "Go ahead! I'm not stopping until you take it all!"

His words seemed cruel and frightened me, but at the same time I understood his need to dominate me totally. To use me and I wanted it! I wanted him to treat me that way, fucking his cock into my mouth and deeper, into my throat until I had every thick hard inch of him inside me.

"Open up, Lisa! Come on girl, or it's gonna hurt!" Dr. Prescott warned me.

I tried hard to open for him, forcing myself to swallow and hold that position, with my throat open. His cock was so huge though, it was forcing tears to leak from my tightly shut eyes, running down my red cheeks. I felt him shoving again and suddenly there was a peculiar and almost painful popping sensation as his cock found itself in my throat and Dr. Prescott pushed hard then, sinking inside me until his balls pressed against my chin and my nose was buried in his public hair.

"Ahhhh! Fuck yeah! Lisa! You did it!" He held me like that a moment and then pulled slowly back, letting me take a breath and gasp a little. "Let's do it again!"

Over and over he pushed his big dick into my throat, until finally I was taking him, if not easily, then at least with only small difficulty. He was fucking my throat slowly, moving in and out and I loved it. My face was impaled on his great cock and I had the horribly wicked thought that I wished my husband had been there to see it!

"That's enough!" Dr. Prescott chuckled as he pulled his cock out of my mouth completely. "Bend over the couch, Lisa. I want to fuck you now."

"Oh yessss!" I breathed. "I want it!" I'd never even seen such a huge cock in my life and my pussy was soaked already. I wanted it inside of me; I wanted to know what that monster felt like inside my burning pussy!

He pushed me down, over the back of the leather loveseat and yanked my skirt up, over my hips. "God! What a fine ass!" He slapped my ass hard and I yelped, wriggling slightly as he grabbed my panties, deliberately ripping them with his hands. He pushed a finger into my anus with no warning at all, just shoved his thick digit deep into my tight virgin asshole and making me hiss with pain. "Maybe I should fuck you there, Lisa! You ever been ass fucked?"

"N-No! No...never...!" I moaned and my body instinctively recoiled at the thought of taking him there.

"I bet a slut like you would love it, huh?" he spanked my ass hard again, twice...three times, making it sting nicely. "Answer me!"

"Yea...yeeesssss!" I looked over my shoulder. "Yes!"

"Next time!" He laughed. "I'll give you a couple days to think about it..." Dr. Prescott pulled his finger out and reached around, pushing it into my mouth. "Suck it, Lisa!" He hooked his finger, pressing it into the inside of my cheek like a fish hook while I tongued it. "Clean that finger for me, bitch!"

A moment later he was rubbing my steaming cunt with that same finger, spreading my labia and telling me how wet I was. All I could do was moan and push myself back against him. I bit my lip as I felt Dr. Prescott bring his immense cock to my pussy, rubbing the head up and down my slit.

"Are you on the pill, Lisa?" he asked me and I shook my head.

"I-I'm trying to get...P-Pregnant..." I sighed. "With...M-My husband."

"Well, I'm not going to pull out, bitch." He chuckled and slapped my ass again. "I'm not going to use a condom either...Do you still want me to fuck you?"

"Ohhh...God!" I wanted a baby, a baby with Jack so badly...But that huge cock, rubbing up and down my slit felt so good. And this was a man, a real man... "Do it! Please...Oh please! Fuck me!"

He laughed and grabbed my right arm, pulling it back. "You want it? You have to prove it, Lisa! Put it in...Put my big cock in your pussy, slut!"

I groaned, feeling for his penis and squeezing it as my fingers found him. I pulled him closer, feeling blindly for the entrance to my fertile womb. I rubbed his cock across my wanton cunt until it found purchase and I pulled him harder, urging Dr. Prescott to push it in me.

"Ahhh...fuck your hot!" he said with a sigh, grabbing my hips in his strong hands. "Feel free to scream, Lisa...Everybody knows what we're doing and this is gonna feel so good!"

Everybody knows? I wondered at that, but only for a brief second before he was pushing that huge slab of meat into my too small cunt. I did scream as he squeezed my flesh in his strong hands, getting a better grip and then lunging forward with his hips, spearing his cock all the way inside me. The rush of pain and pleasure was a heady combination and I arched my back, crying out loudly as he bottomed out, the head of his penis smashing into my cervix.

He fucked me hard for a long time, making me cum over and over again on his cock until I could barely lift my head. I was being worn out by this man, this real man, who seemed to have all the stamina in the world. He slowed down at one point, letting me catch my breath.

"How's that cock feel, Lisa?" He pulled my head up by my hair, twisting it so he could see my face as he worked his cock slowly inside me.

"G-Good...Sooooo good!" I gasped and he laughed, reaching underneath me to pull at my blouse, popping off some buttons and yanking hard at my bra until it came free. He grabbed my breasts and then lifted me, actually pulling me off the sofa so I was impaled on his cock and carried somewhat roughly in his arms.

He walked me over to his desk, putting me on my belly and started fucking me again, slamming his great prick in and out so that even that big heavy desk was rocking back and forth beneath us. A few minutes later he was finally close and he pushed himself as far inside me as he'd ever gone, even when he'd lifted me.

"Here it comes, Lisa! Oh fuck!....Yeaaaahhh!!" His cocked seemed to swell even larger, if that was possible and it jerked noticeably inside me as his hot sperm erupted inside me. It jetted onto the bruised pillow of my cervix, flooding me with an incredible and distinct warmth that I'd never experienced before.




Respect Ch. 01



It triggered another orgasm of my own and I screamed with the insane pleasure of the moment. Both of us cumming hard at the same time, our juices mixing in my womb, bathing my eggs with it. Another man, a real man had finally taken me, used me the way I'd always wanted and it was fantastic! Right at that moment I didn't care if I was getting pregnant, I didn't care what my husband would think or say, I didn't respect him enough for that...All I knew was that I wanted this, real sex with a real man.

But such moments pass.

I drove home slowly, shaking inside and out as I tried to concentrate on the traffic around me, but it was hard. I had left the clinic feeling suddenly ashamed. Dr. Prescott had fucked me; there was no other word for it. He'd taken me and filled my womb with his potent sperm, and then waited, holding me down as if to make sure his seed had opportunity to find my egg.

At the time I'd felt nothing but arousal, almost euphoric ecstasy and I bathed in the knowledge that a real man had taken my husband's wife. He'd pulled out finally, his cock still semi-hard, and given me a small slap on my ass, chuckling as he zipped himself up. He told me to make sure and call the office, to let him know when he could see me again, when he could meet my husband.

He was done with me then, our appointment finished and with it the sensations that I'd enjoyed so much. I'd reached down, feeling my loose and puffy sex, soaked with our juices and leaking the doctor's semen only slowly; most of it remained deep in my womb like a warm stain on my soul.

What had I done?

I dressed quickly, worried that someone might catch me there in Prescott's office and see me like that. Or smell our recent union in the air. I snuck out like a criminal, fleeing the scene of a crime, my eyes down and face red. My heart was pounding, but for a far different reason than it had just a short time before.

"Ma'am? Miss Pavageau?" The receptionist, Nurse Ryan stopped me and I swallowed nervously, afraid to look at the girl, but somehow I did. "Would you like to schedule a follow-up?" She was smiling.

"Oh, uh..." I shook my head. "I haven't talked with my husband yet, I..."

"Oh not for him!" The girl laughed and then leaned close over the counter. "I meant for you, with Dr. Prescott...You know..." She lifted her eyebrows suggestively.

"W-What?" I stared at her for a second and I couldn't think of anything to say. I just turned and walked quickly towards the doors, my entire body flushing with embarrassment.

"I'll pencil you in for next Wednesday, okay? Two o'clock." She giggled and I almost fell running down the shirt stairs and outside.

I loved my husband. I hadn't meant what I'd said at all, how could I possibly not respect the man I married? Because he didn't have sex with me often enough? Was that even a reason? He took good care of me, always. He was patient and tender, thoughtful of the little things I loved. I'd married him because I loved him, not because he could fuck me and laugh about it the way Prescott had.

Who was the real man here, I thought, driving through a veil of tears. Some doctor, a stranger I didn't even know who had known what buttons to push, played some little game with my head to bend me over? Or the man who loved me and cared enough to be honest with me, even if he couldn't always find the right way to give me pleasure?

I was driving in circles, afraid to go home. My husband would be at work, I knew, but part of him was waiting for me anyway. It was our home, the place where we lived together. Where we ate and slept and talked and made love, not often perhaps, and not as much as I desired, but that's what it was. Making love. I couldn't go back there. I didn't live there anymore, I didn't deserve to.

It was Clarice's fault, I told myself, wiping my eyes with my fingers. She was the one who'd planted that silly idea in my head. Her and her husband. He was a man I couldn't respect, and so I couldn't respect her either. Not anymore. She'd been so eager to help me, to suggest that I fix my problem by fixing my husband. Well I had news for her, my husband wasn't broke! I was the one, me, I had listened to someone I thought I'd admired and now look at me.

I parked the car near the curb, sobbing and pressing my hands against my tummy. I was probably pregnant now, just a few tiny cells, too small to see, growing and replicating and attaching themselves to me forever. I had betrayed my husband, betrayed my wedding vows and my family, my parents who had raised me. I'd done all that just for a few minutes of pleasure with a man I barely knew and would never love.

I didn't want to see Clarice. Not that I was afraid of her, only that I had nothing to say to her. She'd just spoken the words, I'd done the listening. It was all on me and I'd never felt so ashamed in my life.

"Miss?" There was a tapping at my window and I was startled by the policeman tapping on the glass.

I wiped my eyes quickly and licked my lips, looking around like I'd forgotten where the switch was for the window. I rolled it down, apologizing and blushing at my appearance.

"I'm sorry, I was..."

"Are you okay?" He was asking me, looking at me and then around inside the car as if I might be hiding something.

"Yeah, yeah...I just uh, I got some bad news." I was nodding. "I'll...I'm going home."

"Where do you live?"

"Just there, over there on Maple Court." I glanced in the direction of my house.

"I'm not sure you should be driving..." 

"Oh, I'm fine." I tried to smile. "Really, I'm...I'm okay, officer."

"I'll follow you, alright?" He told me and there was little room for argument and I had no choice at that point. I was going home.

I spent an hour in my bathtub, washing myself thoroughly and then washing myself again. I had a lot of sperm inside me and my sex was stretched and loose around my fingers as I pressed them inside, wriggling and trying to get every last drop of Dr. Prescott's gift. But it was too late, I was sure.

I washed my clothes, everything I'd worn, not caring about colors or whites or hand washing or any of that. I threw them all in the washing machine and added twice as much detergent as I needed and turned it on. I'd wash them twice, or three times, or maybe I'd just throw them away. I wasn't crying at least, not anymore, but I wanted to.

Especially when I laid down on my bed, on my husband's bed. It wasn't mine anymore, or ours, it was his alone. I was just borrowing it, borrowing the memories. I could smell him, I thought, on his shirt that I was wearing, on the sheets and pillows. His cologne, his sweat. I looked through our photo album, the thick white one with golden letters. Our wedding album and I wondered who that woman was.

I stared at the pictures one by one, studying every aspect, every small detail. I looked at how she smiled, how her eyes sparkled and her skin glowed. She was beautiful and pure, dressed in white like a fairy tale princess. There she was with her new husband, and there with her parents, and with her bridesmaids. So happy, so radiant and bright with promise.

I went to the closet and found that dress. It was wrapped in plastic, in a pale grey garment bag and I threw it on the bed, unzipping it and smelling it, pulling the soft satin and silk to me face. I covered my body with it like a blanket, wrapping it around me. I curled up, crying again finally, alone in that big bed with nothing but someone else's memories to comfort me.

It was no comfort at all.

"Lisa?" I'd been dreaming, perhaps I still was. "Hey, taking a little nap?"

My husband's voice was soft and his touch was gentle. He was waking me up, bringing me back and for just a second I forgot everything. I was just sleeping on our bed and he was home from work. It was normal and okay and I almost smiled the way I do when he finds me like that, unguarded and innocent. But then I felt the dress I was still wrapped up in, clutching it to my breasts. And there in front of me the album, laying on our bed. I stared at it, feeling the doctor still in my womb.

"I'm sorry." I said, before I could stop myself. It was all coming out and there was nothing for it. "I'm so sorry, Jack." I looked at him, his handsome features becoming puzzled as he tried to understand what I was saying.

"Sorry for what?" He smiled. "It's your dress. I sorta like it."

His hands were moving over me and he leaned down kissing me in the soft light of the setting sun streaming through the windows. He was moving, getting on the bed with me, lying on his side in his clothes and holding me. Our faces were close and I was afraid to see his eyes.

"Have you been crying?" He brought a hand to my face, running his thumb across my cheek. "What's wrong? What happened?"

I was crying again, burying my face away from him, covering myself with that wedding dress and wishing he would leave me alone. He shouldn't have been there, he shouldn't have been touching me, or kissing me. I could feel his lips on the top of my head as he hugged me, shushing me and rocking me slightly like a little girl.

"Just tell me, what happened?" He was worried now and I wanted to tell him so badly, but I couldn't. I couldn't make my lips form the words and even if I could, there was no breath in my body. I couldn't breathe, my heart was stopped, or going to fast, or something. It hurt and it was breaking, I knew. I'd broken my own heart and how could I break his as well? I was dying.

We didn't say anything for a long time, neither of us, and I'd stopped crying. Not because I wanted to, but I'd just run out of tears. There wasn't anything left in me but pain and it wasn't enough, not yet. I'd hurt Jack, I knew, I'd hurt him and it would end finally. I'd take it and hold it and leave with our pain growing in my belly, I could do that much, I thought. If nothing else, I could give him the satisfaction of watching me leave.

"I cheated on you." I said softly, beneath my snow white shroud. "Today, with another man."

"What?" He asked and his voice was soft, not angry or even disbelieving. It was like he hadn't heard me correctly, that's all.

"I went to a clinic." I told him and I felt a curious calm. My skin seemed to cool, and I could breathe. I felt detached, like someone else was speaking for me.

"A clinic? Why?" Jack cleared his throat a little.

"I wanted to find out about..." I did need a breath there, just a small one. "...about castrating you."

"You can't be serious." My husband said, almost laughing like this must be a joke. But my tears had been real enough, and they lent an undeniable credence to my words.

"I thought we'd be happy and I met a man, a doctor." I shivered, just a little and my husband lifted his hand from my back. "He had sex with me. He..." I had my eyes closed, but I could feel my husband pulling the dress away from my face. "He came inside me. I let him."

"You let him?" Jack's voice was growing louder. "Look at me...You let him? What does that mean, Lisa? Look at me!"

I opened my eyes and he was there, sitting up above me, staring at me in the growing darkness. I had nothing else to say really, I'd told him everything he needed to know. I was just waiting now. Maybe he'd hit me, or more likely just tell me to leave. Or he might leave himself, I didn't know. Whatever he did, I'd accept it. I had no choice, I loved him.

"You want to cut off my balls?" He demanded, searching my face for an answer. "Is that what you want?"

"I...I don't know." I whispered. "No...I don't, I just..."

"Fuck." He snorted, turning his head away. "And you let this guy fuck you, I see. You cut my nuts and fuck this guy, is that the plan? You bitch."

He got up, walking away, leaving me there. 

"I'm sorry." I said, but I don't think he could hear me. I'd barely heard it myself.

I got up once to use the bathroom, but otherwise I didn't move at all and as soon as I'd finished I returned to the bed, curling up under my dress. I was waiting, that was all I could do. I'd heard my husband downstairs, in the kitchen, and in the living room, turning on the television and turning it off a minute later.

And it was quiet too, for a long time I could hear nothing but my own breathing. The lights were off, everywhere, there wasn't even the soft glow from a light downstairs. Jack was sitting in the dark, I knew, thinking about me. I wondered if he would drink, or might even be drunk already. He wasn't much for alcohol, but we had some bottles from last new years in the cabinet. He wouldn't though, I was sure. It would be the furthest thing from his mind, like hitting me. It hadn't occurred to him, no matter how angry or disappointed he might have been, he wasn't built that way.

The LED's on my husband's alarm clock had just clicked over to 1:08 when he came in. All I could see was his outline, like a shadow in the darkness. The only light came from a streetlamp outside and it cast the room with shades of grey.

He was on the bed and his hands were neither gentle nor rough, but insistent and strong. He was turning me, pulling the dress away from my legs and hips, pulling and pushing me to my knees.

"Jack, I..."

"Shut-up." He said, and it was an angry quiet sound like I'd never heard from him before. "Don't say a fucking word. You wanna fuck, we'll do it this way from now on. You don't, then after I'm done get your stuff and call a taxi."

That was all the explanation he was giving me and then I felt him ripped my panties, slapping at my thighs in the darkness. I gasped and cringed and shivered at the sensations. I felt blindfolded somehow as I tried to lift my head only to have my husband push my face back down into the mattress.

My heart was going again, confusion and excitement filling my head. I didn't know what he was doing, or perhaps I did, but it was so unexpected. Was he trying to prove himself to me? Was that was this was about? He was mad that another man had put his penis inside me, so now my husband had to reassert his claim? I wasn't fighting it, not at all, if anything I was ready for it. My body warming quickly, my sex coming to life as I realized my husband wanted me. If only for that moment, for reasons of jealousy and anger, rather than love, he wanted me still.

I wanted him as well, more than anything else in the world. I'd give myself to him, do whatever he asked. I wanted him to take me and the one real hope I entertained was that I hadn't gotten pregnant that afternoon, that Prescott was sterile, or his sperm weak, or my womb just not quite exactly ready. Please God, I prayed, let my husband make me pregnant. I wouldn't know whose baby it was, and maybe I never would, but if I found out in a week or a month that I was pregnant, then there was that chance that it was Jack's. That was my redemption, I thought, my only hope at salvation.

I held my breath, spreading my thighs as I knelt there, feeling my husband's cock, as hard and swollen as it had ever been, rubbing across my slit. I moaned softly, pushing myself back, aching to feel him inside me, but he pulled away, teasing me, I thought.

"You want it, huh?" He was breathing hard. "Well, I'm not putting my dick in that dirty hole..." I started lifting my head as I felt his pressing his cock against my anus, "...So this one will have to do from now on...Ugggh!..."

He pushed his cock inside me hard, grabbing hops and pulling me back so that I screamed with pain as my asshole was suddenly split open by his penis. It was a blunt searing pain that spread through me like a fire and I was confused by it, all my previous thoughts and hopes and dreams shattered suddenly.

"Nooo...Ahhh...P-Please..." I was whispering, my voice muffled against the mattress as Jack shoved me back down. I felt sick and frightened, the pain was terrible, but the humiliation was even worse. He was in my ass, in the dirtiest, most private part of me because it was cleaner than my vagina now. I sobbed with a sudden and pathetic loathing for myself. 

"Uhhh yeah...You whore...How's that? Pretty...Ugh!...Good now? You like...Uhhhg...That?" He was fucking my ass as hard as he could, tearing into my delicate flesh. It was an act of rape, for all of its uncaring violence and dominant desire, nothing else. I was being punished with a corruption of our lovemaking, just as I'd corrupted our marriage.

I was crying out and jerking my body as if I might get away, but he pinned me down easily and in truth I wasn't fighting him at all, just the awful knowledge that I'd never have his child now. If I was pregnant, it would be Dr. Prescott's and his alone, my husband was keeping me, but he wasn't going to save me. Not this night, or for many more to come I imagined, but I was free to leave. As soon as he'd fucked me one last time, left me with a painful and humiliating reminder of what I'd been so concerned with that I'd let it ruin my marriage and my life. I could go or stay.

My husband fucked my ass for many long minutes before he finally came. I was weeping still, and my cries were soft and punctuated his deliberate thrusts. I was limp and exhausted however, and he took me as he liked until Jack told me he was going to cum and then did so, burying his penis as far into my torn rectum as he could and flooding my useless bowels with his sperm.

Jack collapsed on top of me, his body pressing mine flat to the bed while he caught his breath. "I'm sorry..." I whispered and his face was so close to mine he must have heard me, but he said nothing.

A few minutes later he was getting up, pulling his cock from my ass slowly and it was a different sort of ache. My rectum felt mushy and loose, filled with grease or oil maybe, almost like I needed to use the bathroom, but I didn't. I didn't move at all, I just watched my husband's dark form as he wiped his penis clean on my wedding dress and left the room, leaving the door wide open in case I wanted to leave.

But I just curled up again, hugging my knees to my breasts and feeling Jack's sperm leaking slowly from my stretched anus. I couldn't leave him. I respected him too much for that.



Respect Ch. 02



I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, wiping the fog away so that small beads of water ran down my reflection. I touched myself, moving my hands lightly over my stomach, turning slightly to profile. I was large now, and round, swollen with the life inside me. I could feel my skin tight and smooth and firm, almost hard, and it was difficult to remember when my tummy had been flat and taut and impossibly soft by comparison.

My breasts were different too, now that I was eight months pregnant almost to the day. They seemed swollen and heavy, still firm enough but pulled down slightly so that my puffy brown nipples appeared to point upward even more than they had before. They ached sometimes, my nipples, and grew hard for no reason at all with small drops of clear liquid appearing occasionally. My milk was starting already, my body getting ready to nurse the restless child within my womb.

I didn't know what I had, a boy or a girl, and it didn't matter anyway. I wasn't keeping it. I'd really had three choices, none of which were fair, or designed to please me in any way. But they were mine alone, my husband Jack had made that clear enough. I'd been the one cheating on him, for no real reason at all except that I'd been foolish, and so it was up to me to make things right.

I could have left him. He wouldn't have tried to stop me. Or, I could have gotten an abortion, which was what he wanted I think, although Jack had done nothing more than suggest the possibility. He'd given me no real opinion on the subject and neither of us were particularly religious, or morally bound against it, so it had been a thought already in my head anyway. Or finally, I could carry the child to term and give it up. I couldn't keep it and him both; my husband had made that plain to me several times over.

He didn't blame the child. Jack bore it no particular grudge other than the fact that it wasn't his and was sleeping in his wife's belly, changing the woman he'd married irrevocably, and in not always predictable ways. My husband blamed me, quite simply, and it was right and proper that he should. And that he should punish me for what I'd done, and for what I'd tried to do. I was lucky to have him, I thought, because I was quite sure that many men in his position would have simply sent me away with little more than a suitcase and dissolution of marriage to keep me and my unborn child warm.

He'd largely ignored me in the beginning, since that night when I'd told Jack about my infidelity. If he was surprised when I told him I was pregnant with another man's baby, he gave no indication of it. I could understand his reaction, and I even appreciated it to some extent. Of everything he might have said or done with me, I thought his distant silence to be almost kind. At least I could see him; I could still care for him and try to demonstrate my love. Perhaps earn forgiveness eventually.

The only thing I was truly surprised at, and the aspect of our new relationship I found most disturbing, was my husband's increased sex drive. Prior to cheating on him, my husband had very little interest in sex and I'd been left frustrated and insecure perhaps, feeling that there was some failing in him. That was what had driven me into Dr. Prescott's arms, indirectly, and so it was with no small sense of irony that I found myself yielding to my husband's newfound sexual desires very nearly every night.

I'd even learned to enjoy it, which surprised me more than a little. My husband's pleasure was only taken from my anus, or occasionally my mouth, neither of which I'd ever done before. It had been painful at first, physically and emotionally. Humiliating and degrading, especially since there was no love in the acts we performed. He wouldn't speak to me, except in the most vulgar terms, calling me a slut, or a whore, or worse. I would never reply, never try to defend myself from his accusations, or refuse his attentions. He was merely using me for masturbation, I knew, or trying to punish me, but it was the only part of him that I had left.

I didn't know how I felt about my baby, and that was a term that had taken me some time to become accustomed to. My baby. For the first month I'd hated it, the reason it was inside me was still too fresh then. And fresh still, really; every time I saw myself, or touched myself, or felt that fetus move I was reminded of my betrayal. But I'd been changing. It was my baby inside me. It was a part of me, half mine and half someone else's; a stranger's child. I tried not to think about that. It was inside me, growing and sharing my blood. It had made me ill with morning sickness and the emotional equivalent, feeling sad and happy and a thousand different emotions in between, and sometimes all at once. 

I'd craved strange things as well, like applesauce with pepper on it. Just black pepper, but a lot of it. I could eat a whole jar of applesauce and use half the shaker of pepper on it. Part of me enjoyed that, enjoyed all of it, but only secretly, only when my husband was at work. We didn't sleep together then of course, he'd left me with the master bedroom and taken one of the spares, the one we'd once thought of turning into a nursery. But that had been so long ago, almost a year before when we'd bought the house. Anything was possible for us then and a nursery...

The time for abortion had passed, not physically, not quite yet, but for all practical purposes, once people knew I was pregnant there really was no going back. I thought I might have stayed home then, or at least avoided going out in public as much as possible. Jack wouldn't let me, however. We'd become somewhat close once more, or at least civil, despite my swelling stomach. It had taken three months, but now he was talking to me at least, even smiling on occasion, and it filled me with hope for our future.

Our coming out, if you wanted to call it that, was at the party of a friend of ours. It was a large barbecue with a lot of people we knew. Jack's friends and coworkers, normal average people who knew nothing about how I'd wanted to cut off my husband's balls and cuckold him with another, more ardent lover. They could only see us as the successful and happy young couple we were, beautiful people living the American dream, and now almost obviously pregnant. Just showing enough so that people would wonder and closer friends would ask, quietly in case they were wrong. That would have been embarrassment that no one needed. Thankfully for them I wasn't fat, although I silently wished I were.

"Congratulations!" I could hear one of my husband's friends saying, and the group of men around them echoed the sentiment. They smiled and nodded and patted Jack on the back for a baby that wasn't even his. I felt my cheeks flushing, but I blushed all the time for no good account, and people assumed it was just part of my healthy motherly glow.

"It isn't mine." Jack shrugged and he turned his head just slightly to look at me. There was silence for a second, and then laughter, of the nervous sort, when people hear a joke they don't really understand. "She was fucking around, I don't know whose it is. I'm not even sure if Lisa knows."

I stood there feeling all eyes drawn to me, staring and judging me. It made me an instant imposter, a fraud and a fake. I'd been accepting my own congratulations and smiles and hugs and kisses on the cheek. All my friends, old and new, were so happy for us. For my husband and I, and I'd smiled and thanked them for it, pretending that we were blessed and happy with our good fortune. I had nothing I could say, nothing I could do but stand there as tears filled my eyes, and then my instincts kicked in...fight or flight, and I was running.

We left shortly after that. I'd been waiting in the car, crying and hitting my stomach occasionally with weak and frustrated fists. I hated myself, the thing inside me, my husband for being so cruel, my friends and neighbors for their concern. I forgot what love was for those long minutes I was alone. It ceased to exist.

"Maybe you should have gotten the abortion." My husband shrugged, as if he didn't really care one way or the other. We were driving home and I just stared out the window.

At least I knew now that I was totally alone in this. My husband wasn't going to lie for me; he wasn't part of my infidelity and wouldn't be in a conspiracy to cover it up. He wasn't my accomplice, Dr. Prescott was, but I couldn't bear the thought of even speaking to him, let alone seeing him again. I was alone with my child and I'd set myself on a path. I'd decided to cheat, I'd confessed, I'd stayed with Jack, and I'd decided to carry the child to term. It was all one long road and I hoped it was the right one.

As soon as we were in the house Jack was turning me around, kissing me hard. He hadn't kissed me in 12 weeks, not once in three months, but he kissed me now. He'd just told the world that his wife was a cheating slut and pregnant with a stranger's baby. I felt his tongue pushing into my mouth, finding mine and wriggling against it. I was moaning, clutching at him as I began crying again. I felt hot and confused and desperate that he never let me go.

Jack's hands were under my skirt, moving up my thighs and I felt his thumbs hooking my panties, pulling them down. He went lower with them, kissing my neck, and breast through my blouse. I cradled his head, breathing hard and lifting my legs as my panties fell down around my ankles. I wanted to speak to him, to tell my husband how much I loved him, how sorry I truly was. I wanted to beg him to make love to me, real love for the first time since my confession.

My sex was on fire, quivering inside and I was radiating heat and desire. I could feel my juices starting, the butterflies in my stomach. He was going to do it, finally he'd forgiven me. He'd given me one last punishment, telling everyone about the bastard in my belly, but that was enough. He could forgive me now and I loved him for it. I would have confessed myself, told everyone a thousand times if this were the result. I couldn't bear any longer the awful separation from my husband's love.

"Turn around...here...give me your ass..." My husband breathed, standing behind me, pushing me so I was bent over the back of the sofa.

He wasn't going to make love to me. He was going to fuck me again, that was all, and my heart sank and I felt a distant chill overcome the fire inside. He hadn't forgiven me at all, I thought, this was just another form of punishment. He'd kissed me like we were lovers once more and I'd returned it with all of my heart, promising him anything in return. He rejected it, or so it seemed to me at that moment, pressing his penis against my anus and driving inside me easily.

I was well used to it, as he fucked me regularly there now. Where before, when we'd been happily married, he would make love to my vagina perhaps twice a month, three times if I was lucky, now we did it in my ass everyday. Sometimes twice a day. But always in my ass, although once in awhile he'd start or finish in my mouth. I groaned as I felt my ass warming up, my muscles stretching and taking his thickness easily. I fucked myself back against him, because it did feel good for me. In the beginning it had hurt terribly and disgusted me, and I'd found no pleasure in it, but as time went by I'd begun to accept it and enjoy it as I said.

"Everybody knows..." Jack was telling me, grunting to punctuate his words. "Everyone knows you're a slut...and a whore..."

"I'm sorry...Please..." I said the same things I always said, reaching down to rub my clit. I hated his words, but I loved his touch. Even like that, fucking my ass and saying the worst things I could imagine, I loved him for it. I was going to cum and we both knew it. He didn't care, or maybe he even liked that part of it now, I didn't know. But he wouldn't stop me, he'd let me get off while he punished me.

"You bitch...fuck me...harder...push it, Lisa...fuck me like you fucked him, you cunt..." He slapped my ass hard, spanking me and that was something new, only recently added to the experience and I found myself enjoying that as well.

I rubbed myself furiously, feeling the blood rushing to my head as I was pushed further over the soft cushioned back of the couch. My feet came off the floor and I could feel the pressure on my stomach, on my baby, but I didn't care. I was so close so quickly, his cock was rubbing my pussy through the thin wall that separated them. His balls slapped my sex and I was cumming, my body going rigid and my legs coming up. I pressed my thighs together and tried to pull at him awkwardly with my legs, bending my knees. I was lost to it when my husband's cock began to spasm in my rectum, spilling his hot seed into my ass.

We kissed often after that, at least during our sex. It was another small step towards reconciliation, another proof of life that love still existed for him. I longed for the day when he'd make love to me face to face, kissing me as he entered my vagina. I should have gotten the abortion, I knew, it would have changed everything, I thought. It was just another mistake, and I'd made so many. I apologized to him every time he fucked me, but he never said anything about it, never accepted them or offered words of forgiveness. But he would, someday, I was certain.

A few weeks after the party, my husband brought a friend home. A man he worked with apparently and we'd been introduced at the party, but I remembered little of that except my husband telling everyone I was pregnant with another man's baby. I'd spent my time since then avoiding my friends, although it wasn't entirely possible and our chance meetings at the supermarket or the mall, or wherever, were always awkward and humiliating for us. They were avoiding me as well, and that helped.

We'd had dinner, my husband, his friend and I, and it had been largely a solemn affair. My husband and I rarely spoke anyway, and then only about the most practical things. His friend, Gary, spent much of the meal looking at me, and I was red faced, looking down and wishing I could make some excuse to leave the table. I was uncomfortable and surprised that my husband would bring someone home like that. He had friends, of course, but since I'd cheated on him, they had rarely came around the house.

"Leave the dishes." My husband said after we'd finished eating.

"What? Why?" I stood there, clearing the table, holding plates in my hands.

"I think Gary wants to fuck you now." My husband said matter-of-factly, glancing at his friend who was smiling at me.

I almost dropped the dishes I was holding. My mouth opened and I stared at my husband. He couldn't be serious. I must have heard him wrong, or something. But I hadn't.

"Go on, take him upstairs. Might as well do it in our bed, right?" My husband chuckled and I couldn't move.

"W-Why?" I asked him quietly, barely managing to get even that one simple word out.

"Why what?" Jack narrowed his eyes. "You should know why, Lisa. You of all people. It isn't like you haven't fucked a stranger before, is it? So you tell me why, and then we'll both know."

"Uh, we drew straws." Gary said, looking a little apologetic actually, and I sensed that this wasn't what he'd expected at all.

"What?" I stared at the man and my husband laughed.

"She probably didn't need to know that, buddy." But my husband didn't seem to mind either; I just wish I knew exactly what Gary had meant. I thought I had a pretty good idea though.

"Oh, uh...well. Maybe I should get going." Gary got up. "That was a good dinner, Lisa." He was embarrassed and I was humiliated as well, frightened and angry and utterly confused.

"Last chance, Lisa." My husband tilted his head. "Don't let him get away, you know you want it."

Gary was leaving and my husband didn't bother showing him out. He just sat there looking at me.

"Why would you do that?" I asked plaintively, my eyes wet with tears and my bottom lip trembling. "Why?" I dropped the dishes, letting them break on the hard kitchen floor and ran from the room, up the stairs and into our bedroom. I fell into the bed sobbing, not wanting to believe my husband could be that cruel, or that callous. He didn't love me, not at all. He hated me. He'd offered me to his friends and they'd drawn straws to see who would fuck me.

I was worthless to him.

My husband was in the room a few minutes later, grabbing me, pushing me flat on my stomach and I didn't resist him. If he wanted to fuck me, he could. I wasn't going to stop him, I never did. I even helped him in fact, lifting my hips as he pulled my new maternity pants down my legs and my panties with them. He'd hurt me bad, as bad as I'd hurt him maybe, or perhaps not. I didn't know anymore what was fair and what wasn't. I didn't know what I deserved for what I'd done. How much was enough, I wondered, at what point did the scales of justice balance? I had no idea and so I'd given that decision over to my husband, for better or worse.

"Give me your hands...Give them to me!" Jack was pulling my wrists and it took me a second to realize he was tying my hands together behind my back.

"J-Jack...Wha...?"

"Shut-up. You don't wanna fuck, okay. How about this then?" He'd tied my wrists tightly and now he was tying my ankles to the foot of the bed, using curtain cord like he had on my wrists. I spread my legs, not resisting him at all, but just exploring the new sensation of having my hands bound together.

It was a little exciting, I admit, frightening too. I was still angry, with both if us. Me for the same reasons as always, and with Jack for not forgiving me, for tormenting me with that ludicrous scene in the kitchen. It was juvenile, I thought, and unworthy of him. But it had been a good punishment, a small voice reminded me. Another step closer to redemption and maybe I should have...But I couldn't think like that. It had been a test, nothing more. My husband testing me, trying to see if I'd cheat on him maybe, or something else. I didn't know.

"I don't know about this BDSM stuff, Lisa." Jack had finished with my legs and the cords were tight and biting into my flesh. I tried pulling with my legs, but it was useless. Like my wrists, he'd tied them well and I was not going to free myself, no matter how much I struggled.

"I trust you." I said, turning my head to look at him and that stopped him. I hadn't meant to say that, really. I don't know where the words had come from, but as soon as I said them I knew they were true. I did trust him, and even though he'd been cruel downstairs and I was still angry with him for it, I was still in love with him as well.

Jack didn't know what to say to me, so he said nothing at all. He used a belt, one of his old ones, all brown leather and supple. I'd never experienced anything like it before, not as a child or any other time in my life. Jack whipped my bare ass with that belt hard, bringing it down over his head with a faint whoosh that filled me with panic the first time I heard it. And then the explosion of pain on my sensitive skin. I screamed at that first touch of Jack's belt, and again at the second, weaker with the third and then by the fifth or sixth lash I was out of breath, only gasping sharply with every stroke.

It seemed my body was on fire and my skin felt wet somehow, so that I was sure I was bleeding, but then that sensation would go away and I felt something more like needles for a moment...The pain was changing and I couldn't get a handle on it. I was writhing, twisting my body as if I might avoid it somehow, but I couldn't. My legs were bound tightly and my shoulders strained uselessly against the cords around my wrists.

Jack gave me perhaps 2 dozen strokes, although I think we both lost count very quickly after he started. I was bathed with pain and my heart was pounding in my chest. I was breathing fire and when I felt my husband's hand on my skin I yelped sharply, my body jerking against the sensation. I had my eyes shut and they were wet, my nose was running and my mouth was open. I felt weak and tired and I worried briefly at the pressure on my tummy, but there was nothing to be done for it.




Respect Ch. 02



"You liked it, huh?" Jack pressed his hand between my widespread thighs, and I shuddered as we both realized I was soaked down there. My pussy was excited, as much as it had ever been in my life. Jack slipped a finger inside my sex and immediately my soft vaginal walls were clasping him like a tender mouth, giving little spasms of pleasure at his intrusion and begging for more.

"Ohhhh..." I moaned and lifted my pelvis, wishing he'd find my clit as well. It was hard and throbbing. I'd never experienced anything like what we'd just done and I was surprised when I realized I'd never asked him to stop. Not once, I'd never even thought of it. I'd enjoyed it, just as I was enjoying the way my ass burned now. I could imagine the welts rising and I wished I could see them, or at least feel them. I arched my back, twisting my head and then trying to reach down further with my arms, but I got neither the view nor the touch I desired.

"I like it too." Jack whispered and I hadn't noticed that he'd undressed.

He brought his stiff cock to my ass again, like always, ignoring my desperate longing to feel his penis in my cunt. He wasn't prepared to give me that yet, but it was still good. Especially the way his body felt against my tortured flesh. I must have had blisters at least, perhaps I really had been cut somehow, I didn't know. I had no idea what twenty-some lashes with a leather belt could do to my body. All I knew was that I was cumming like crazy while he fucked me, riding my burning ass slow and deep while he kissed my neck and cheeks and shoulders.

It was very much like making love and I came for the first time in my life without someone or something touching my pussy. There was a slight bit of contact with the bed, but that was all, and not nearly enough to bring me off by itself. My orgasm was coming from the pain of my whipping, the feeling of my husband's cock moving gently in my ass, and the sensation of his lips against my skin. He lasted a good long time and by the end of it I felt closer to him then I'd ever felt before. It made no sense to me; none whatsoever and I fell asleep with him still inside me, refusing to go soft even after filling my ass with his sperm. He was still there, covering me like a blanket, and moving his hips so slowly it was like rocking me to sleep.

That was the first night we slept together since before I'd cheated on him and it took me a moment to wake up to that knowledge. He'd untied me at some point, and woken me up in the dark to fuck my ass again; I remembered that like it was a dream. And now, waking up in the soft morning light, I could feel him against my back, his morning erection pressed between the tops of my thighs as we spooned. The tip, the head of his cock was so close to my pussy. I moved slightly and even reached down, wanting to put him inside me.

But I stopped. I couldn't do that. His cock wasn't mine to have, not until he was ready to give it back to me. It was both frustrating and thrilling to come to that decision. I knew it could be a long time, perhaps not until after the baby was born, or even longer, before he'd make real love to me again. But that was something I had to accept, and my decision was the only one I could make if I truly respected him.

"What are you doing?" Jack smiled at me as he opened the bathroom door. He knew exactly what I was doing.

"Do you think I'm fat?" I said, as if that were my fascination with the mirror. 

"Nope." He shook his head. "I think you're slow."

"What about my ass?" I turned a little, sticking it out for him. I might have gained some weight, I was 7 months pregnant and my tummy was huge, but my ass was still perfect.

"Yeah, your ass is slow too." He chuckled and then ducked as I reached for the little basket holding decorative designer soap.

"Alright, alright..." I sighed, taking one last look at my body in the mirror.

Jack was waiting for me in our bedroom. "Here it is." He was smiling, almost triumphantly.

"Hey, I thought I was supposed to open that!" I pursed my lips, pouting slightly. He'd gotten the package three days before, but wouldn't open it, telling me I could have the honors Friday night. This night.

"You snooze you lose, baby." He shrugged and he had a point. I'd been playing with my tummy for a long time after my bath. "Put it on."

I looked at it, black and shiny, reflecting the bedroom lights like a dark mirror, distorted and beautiful with its odd shape and contours. It was a Latex body suit, designed to cover the body completely, except for the hands and head.

"How?" I was holding it in my hands, turning it this way and that.

"There's a zipper, there along the back. And it stretches too, see?" He pulled the material in his hands.

"I'm seven months pregnant, Jack." I giggled. "Nothing stretches that much."

"This will, it's called Maternity Fetishwear." He grinned. "Try it." He was holding up the little brochure catalogue the company had included with the package. It had a picture of a very pregnant woman encased in red, but I still had my doubts.

"Maternity Fetishwear?" I rolled my eyes. "Were they selling bridges too?"

"Heh. Why, do you want one? Come on, I want to see you in it."

"Okay." I nodded. "You're gonna have to help me." And that was no lie. The zipper was very fine and very well hidden, but didn't open the body suit completely. Just from about the bottom of my shoulder blades down along my spine to the small of my back. It wasn't all that large of an opening, but thankfully it was extremely elastic, much like a large balloon.

It was a little puzzle for us at first, and sort of a fun one as we tried to figure out the best way to get me into the thing. I went feet first, through the back, and that forked well except for my tummy. We had to do some tugging to get the latex straight and even. "I'm stuck."

I was standing there with my legs in the right places, but everything else bunched around my much too big tummy.

"Hold on..." Jack got a good grip and started tugging at the rubbery material, working it up slowly as I more or less wiggled and giggled, shaking my head at the silliness of it all. It wasn't so difficult, not as I'd imagined on first seeing it. I put my arms in next and then my head. The material around my neck was tight, but not constricting. The whole thing was rather pleasant actually after Jack zipped me up. I was aware of it at first, naturally, but it soon felt as if I were wearing nothing at all, with just a constant gentle pressure on my skin that I enjoyed.

"I better not go into labor in this thing." I told my husband as I worked my arms in. "You sure it's safe?"

"Yeah. Seven months, right?" He was teasing me; we knew how pregnant I was down to the hour. "Wow." He stepped back, nodding at me.

"If I have to go to the bathroom..." I made a little face. 

I had to go a lot, usually, at least once an hour it seemed, but I hadn't had a lot of water recently and if I held off at the club, I might be good for a couple hours at a time. Maybe.

"Here..." Jack unzipped me. "Try getting out."

Taking the outfit off, at least enough so I'd be able to pee, was easier than putting it back on. I just pulled my head out, then my arms, and then just pulled the whole thing down. It was quite surprising really; I'd imagined it being sticky or something.

"Oh, that's not bad. Ten seconds?" I smiled, feeling a little relieved. But then I had to get back into it, and that was easier too, now that I knew how it was supposed to go. I'd just need someone to zip me up again.

I was encased in skintight black latex, all 5'4" of me, with my swollen tummy and my perfect ass. My 34C breasts plump and aching, pressing out and up nicely in the molded breast forms that stretched around them. Add to that my gleaming boots, black leather with 4 inch heels, and the black leather gloves that Jack laced up my forearms and I was ready.

"These heels are going to kill me." I told my husband, standing up cautiously. My back hurt bad enough just walking around barefoot. My feet tended to swell a little too, but the boots still fit. I'd just have to stay off my feet and I'd be fine. Mostly it was a morning thing, although I didn't know why my feet would swell while I slept, my hands too sometimes.

"Don't worry, you can sit down all night, nobody will mind." He obviously liked the way my pregnant body looked as I stood there. I could see the bulge in his trousers. 

The heels arched my back even more than normal, pushing my pert round ass out invitingly behind me, and my big round tummy and breasts out in front of me. If I wasn't already pregnant, I thought, going around in this outfit would soon get me that way. It just screamed for sex.

"What are you wearing?" I asked him; it had just then occurred to me that he was still wearing the suit he'd come home from work in.

"Just this." He smiled at me. "It's only a Gathering, remember? Not a Conventicle or anything."

"Gathering. Conventicle..." I rolled my eyes a little. "I don't even know what that word means."

Jack just smiled patiently. "Yes you do."

"Then why am I getting all dressed up just for a Gathering?" I put my hands on my hips and he laughed at me.

"Because, I want to show you off." He gave me a little sigh, bringing a gentle hand to my face. "Your almost perfect, Lisa."

"Almost?" I gave him a look, trying not to smile.

"Put on some lipstick. I'll get your collar." He kissed my forehead. "Then you'll be perfect.

We'd started playing with BDSM mostly just to punish me, I think. After I'd found out I was pregnant, my husband had looked for ways to hurt me, both physically and emotionally. Perhaps he'd been trying to drive me away, I think so sometimes, but I couldn't be sure. He'd never explained himself to me and I was afraid to ask. It had begun with spanking during sex, and then progressed to whipping me with a belt, and then a cane. He used clamps on my breasts and labia, dripped wax on my body, especially my stomach as it grew ever larger, and we practiced various forms of bondage.

It was perfect for us. He had Dominant desires that he'd never expressed or explored, and in me he found a true submissive, although we were still learning. We'd been 'active' with the local BDSM club for just 2 months and we weren't even full members yet. We spent Friday and Saturday nights attending the club's events, introducing ourselves and meeting the regular members. We seemed to be popular, being young and attractive and eager to learn. Eventually we'd become full members and then we'd be able to go to what were called the Canticles, which were for members only and selected guests. Jack and I had been to a few of those, and they should have been called orgies, probably, because it was all about the sex. Even when there wasn't any sex, which sounds strange, but true.

Jack had come around slowly, and he hadn't actually told me I was forgiven yet for plotting to cut off his balls and cheating on him. And actually, 'plotting' to castrate him is overstating it. I was just curious about it really, but my curiosity had led me into the waiting arms of Dr. Prescott. I'd had just that one moment of weakness, but it had been enough to get me pregnant with his baby, and that was a harsh betrayal of everything I loved. Most especially my husband. So, I didn't blame Jack for taking his time with me, and even for pushing me away the way he had. I was just glad he was taking me back, slowly but surely.

For a time there, the first few months, he'd been almost cruel the way he distanced himself from me and we'd only grown close again once we discovered BDSM and how much we both loved it when he punished me. It was incredible the way our sex life had changed, the one part of our life together that I'd been unhappy with. Ever since the night I'd confessed my infidelity, the night I gave Jack a reason to treat me as something less than equal, he'd been as lustful and ardent as anyone I could imagine. We had sex almost daily, sometimes several times a day, but he refused to make love to me vaginally. He told me my cunt was dirty, another man had been there, and so he'd only fuck my ass or mouth.

I was hoping that would change soon.

I sat down at my vanity, rather enjoying the way that rubbery material seemed to be a part of me. It was cool too, I was afraid I'd start sweating inside it, but I guess whoever designed such things knew what they were doing, it breathed amazingly well. I suppose they put millions of little microscopic holes in it or something, too small to see, but able to let the air reach my skin. I don't know how they do stuff like that. They charged enough for it though, that was for sure.

Jack sat on the bed watching me as I pinned my hair up first, pulling it back severely from my face. That seemed to look best with my new gleaming black skin. Then mascara and eye shadow, a lot of eye shadow, which I normally avoid. But for some reason the club people loved that stuff, and it was fun to get really painted up once in awhile. I reached for my lipstick, digging through a dozen of them for the reddest red I could find, something called 'Emphatic Cerise' and I paused for a second before putting it on my lips, catching Jack's reflection in my mirror.

"Do you want me to..." I looked pointedly at my husband's crotch.

"We don't have time." My husband said, but he sounded unsure of himself to me.

"It's just a Gathering, remember?" I licked my lips and my voice was soft and husky. "We can be a little late."

"Yeah." Jack agreed, and that was surprisingly easy, but I didn't mind. I knew he was very happy, like a child at Christmas.

He stood up, unzipping his pants as he walked over to me and I put my lipstick down, feeling my heart picking up speed. Anything I could do for him, anytime, anywhere, that was what I lived for now. It was what I loved, and how I demonstrated my love. It had taken months to get to the point where we were finally a husband and wife again, with only the fetus in my womb, and Jack's unwillingness to take my pussy, remaining between us. I prayed that when the one went away, the other would soon follow. After I had my baby and I'd put it up for adoption, I was sure Jack would forgive me completely. He'd fuck me again, the way I really wanted him to, deep in my sweltering cunt.

"This won't take long..." Jack breathed with a rueful smile. "You're so beautiful like that, Lisa."

Before my infidelity I'd never sucked a cock in my life. Jack had never wanted anything more than intercourse, and that only once in awhile. My previous boyfriends, of which there weren't many anyway, had asked for head on occasion, but failed to persuade me to try it. Jack had simply taken my mouth one night, without asking, just pulling my mouth to his penis, and I'd been so desperate to please him any way I could that I'd surrendered myself completely. I'd felt humiliated by the experience, finding it degrading, especially when Jack had finally ejaculated in my mouth, but looking back I realize that I'd enjoyed that part of it as much, or maybe even more than any other.

I sucked him off regularly now and I was good at it. I was even a little proud of my newfound abilities. I knew what my husband liked and it was a little game between us, Jack trying to hold out as long as possible, while I did my very best to make him cum quickly. More often than not we both won, as filling my hungry mouth with sperm, or sometimes pulling out so he could shoot on my pretty face, was always good for him. And for me as well.

Jack's penis wasn't overly large, certainly nothing like Prescott's had been, but I rarely thought of the good doctor as anything but the device that had put my baby in my tummy. He wasn't a person to me, not anymore. I didn't like him or dislike him. My husband was the only man I loved and his cock was perfect for me, even average as it was. I could take all of him in my mouth, the head entering my throat, and we both enjoyed that quite a lot. So far as I was concerned he was the perfect size for me. 

But before taking him in my throat, I just played with his smooth round cockhead, taking it in my mouth and running my tongue around, tickling the underside and sucking him gently. Then a little more, sliding my lips down the thick hard shaft an inch and then back, slowly, looking up at him so my husband could see the pleasure in my eyes as I serviced him. I would go a little deeper, occasionally, pulling him from my mouth so I could lick and kiss along the length of his penis, sliding the warmth of him across my lips and face. I loved sucking my husband's cock, and when I took him back in my mouth I went all the way down.

I opened my throat, swallowing around the tip and taking him all the way inside until my face was pressed to his trousers. My nose went into the soft nest of his pubic hair, and I pushed my tongue out, underneath his cock so I could lick the base of his penis with just the tip. He always loved that and I could feel his gentle hands on my head. He was murmuring to me, giving me soft words of encouragement, and moaning as I worked my mouth up and down.

After just a few minutes he was fucking my mouth, holding my head still and thrusting with his hips. The wet sound of his cock plunging into the wet confines of my mouth filled the room and I had my hands on his thighs, squeezing him as my heart raced. He was close now, and I squirmed a little, feeling my sex growing moist. My baby gave me a little kick, perhaps awoken by the excitement I was feeling inside. I was so hungry for my husband's cum suddenly, I wanted to drink him and feel his sperm warm in my stomach.

"Ohhh...fuck yeah..." Jack pushed his cock into my throat and suddenly erupted with his orgasm. I could feel his penis between my tight lips and over my tongue, pulsing and jerking slightly with every spurt of semen, shooting straight into my tummy. I could taste him only slightly, and that was the only thing I regretted. When he came like that, with his entire cock inside me, I couldn't get his sperm in my mouth. I couldn't play with it and savor the taste and texture before swallowing it. All I would get would be the remnants, the last few drops leaking from his penis as he reluctantly pulled away. That was only enough to whet my appetite and I wished we'd had time for more.

I wore a long raincoat, wrapping it around my body, since walking around in skintight rubber was probably not the best thing to do, even for that city. The club was called the 'Pacific Northwest Power Exchange' or just 'The PX' since that was much easier to say, and members came from as far away as Vancouver, Spokane, and Portland. They held meetings in an old warehouse, all red brick and mortar dating from the Alaskan gold rush, when Seattle had really been booming. It was downtown, just south of the Pike Street Market, and the street level had been converted into stores. There was a Starbucks, a bookstore, and an art gallery, all very eclectic and usual for trendy Seattle. 

The upstairs of the building, however, more resembled a country club than anything else, once you passed through the foyer. There were half-a-dozen private rooms, a large socializing room, and a room that looked like a corporate boardroom of all things, all leading from the main area. Bathrooms, a changing area, there was even a combination kitchen/bar to provide drinks and light refreshments. I didn't know if the place was rented or owned by the club, but I suspected the latter. Considering the cost of a membership, the club could certainly afford it. Not everyone who belonged was rich, but I don't think anyone was poor either, although I'd been told that dues could be waived under certain circumstances.

The only bad thing about the place was the parking. There were a lot of small clubs nearby, and the piers were just down the street, and Seattle has always had a serious lack of space anyway.




Respect Ch. 02



"I'm not going to walk a mile in these shoes." I told my husband and he was nodding, his lips compressed the way they get when he's feeling frustrated.

"I could make you crawl." He suggested, and I wondered for a second if he was serious, but of course he wasn't. It would ruin my new expensive outfit.

"Next time we'll take a taxi." I said, knowing it wasn't helping us this time, but I had little else to contribute.

"Here, I'll drop you off, you can go inside and I'll park the car." My husband had been driving around in ever widening circles and now we were back at the club's entrance, a smoked glass door up a few steps between the art gallery and the bookstore.

"I don't want to go in by myself." I protested, but I wasn't going to walk very far in those heels either. I should have worn flats and changed once we got here, another lesson learned.

"It's okay, I'll be quick, I promise." He gave me a little reassuring smile. "Don't be shy, go on..."

"We'll get in trouble." I said, frowning back at him.

"Not if you stay in the foyer." Owned slaves and submissives weren't supposed to attend alone, or even be alone. The club believed that girls like me required constant supervision, like we might get into trouble or break something. That thought made me smile at least, and Jack was right, so long as I remained outside the club proper we weren't breaking any rules.

I stepped out of the car reluctantly and Jack waited until I'd entered the building before driving off. Thankfully there was an elevator inside, one of those large freight elevators originally, but it had been redone so it was rather like stepping into a small comfortable room. There was only one button to be pushed and a moment later the doors opened to the foyer. A rather plain space with little more than a leather bench, a fake potted plant and an unmarked door with a magnetic card reader on the wall next to it. Jack had our card, so I couldn't have gotten into the club anyway, although I suppose I could have knocked, or waved at the security camera perched in one of the corners near the ceiling. But I doubt anyone would have let me in.

So, I sat down to wait, feeling rather lonely and even a bit silly for no particular reason. I had my hands in the pockets of my coat and I hugged it around me, crossing my legs at the thighs, but that was uncomfortable, pushing up on my tummy a little the way it did. It was strange the way being pregnant changed even the little things.

A few minutes later the elevator was moving, I could hear it and I knew it couldn't be my husband coming up already. He was going to park at the garage up the hill, about 4 blocks away. It would take him about 15 minutes I thought, hopefully no longer than that.

There was some soft female laughter as the doors opened and I didn't want to be looking at the elevator, but there was little else in the room to occupy someone's attention, so I was inspecting the plant when I heard a man's voice that sent chills up my spine.

"Well, what have we here?" He said.

"Maybe she's lost." The woman giggled.

"Quiet." The man said and I looked up at him in disbelief, unable to help myself. "I know you." Dr. Prescott smiled, his eyes narrowing slightly. He was wagging a finger at me, trying to remember something. "Karen?"

I swallowed hard and I couldn't breathe. It seemed that rubber outfit was suddenly much too tight for me; I was being squeezed inside it, constricted and trapped. My heart was pounding and all I could do was stare at the man I'd only met once, seven months ago. The father of the baby growing inside me.

"Lisa." I whispered and I was blinking rapidly, hoping I wouldn't cry.

"Lisa, yeah, sorry. You looked like a Karen for a second there." He chuckled and was just as handsome as I remembered him to be, even more so because I hadn't really wanted to remember him at all. His smile was genuine and intoxicating and I swallowed nervously.

They were both dressed casual, much more so than I was. The doctor in dark slacks and a mustard t-shirt with an open black sports coat, his companion wearing an emerald blouse that matched her eyes, with a short black leather skirt and low heels. She wore black stockings with red garters that were plainly visible, and in the small gap between the tops of her stockings and her skirt I could see her soft white skin. It was a nice look, kind of sexy, but restrained too. At least compared to me.

"She looks terrified." The woman said, no longer laughing, just smiling. "First time?" She was a tall redhead with green cat-like eyes, rather striking with her hair falling long and straight around her pretty face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him weakly; thinking this had to be a dream, or some kind of a joke.

"Lisa, this is my wife and lower half, Angela..."

"Lower half?" She gave her husband a little frown and then smiled at me, stepping closer to offer me her hand. 

"...Lisa consulted with me about her husband." He smiled. "Briefly."

"I'm Angie, totally sub, but don't let him fool you. He thinks I've got 'owned and operated by Paul' tattooed on my ass."

"Paul?" I asked and then forgot about it as I pulled my gloved right hand free of my pocket, shaking with the woman briefly.

"So, how is your husband these days?" Dr. Prescott was asking.

"Oh my, your pregnant?" Angela was staring at me. "I heard about you."

"Heard about me?" I wasn't sure what that meant. I guess my oversized coat had hidden my tummy well enough, being loose and sort of bunched around me as I'd sat there. I'm sure they weren't looking for me to be pregnant either, and people tend to see what they expect to see at first.

"Pregnant?" Prescott nodded with another smile. "I guess that answers the husband question."

"From some of the other members." Angela sat down next to me, taking my hand. "That's so cool, can I see?"

I felt numb mostly, sitting there with Dr. Prescott and his beautiful wife, pregnant with his child and they had no idea. The man had forgotten all about me, even my name, and it would probably never occur to him that the one time he'd fucked me I'd gotten pregnant. He probably seduced a dozen women a week, for all I knew, and that would make it a little hard to remember every frustrated housewife who fell for his charm and looks. Not that I'd made it very hard for him though, if the thought of refusing him had ever entered my mind, I couldn't remember it.

Maybe the worst part of it was that I hadn't even known his first name, which struck me very hard for some reason. I think it was just the idea that I'd carried the man's baby for seven months already and just now I was learning from his wife that his name was Paul. Paul Prescott. My mind formed the words that I doubted my lips could ever say. I was frightened and humiliated, blushing beneath his smile and Angela's eager attention. There was confusion in my head as every emotion you could imagine struggled to be heard. My body too was struggling to maintain its composure. My tummy was doing somersaults, my lungs refusing to work, and my heart just going as if I were in a marathon.

I found myself standing up, at Angela's insistence and she helped me with my coat, slipping it off my shoulders so they could see me fully. It was like being naked, I suddenly realized, with another flash of heat across my skin. The latex was so tight, so perfectly fitted that every part of me was rendered in gleaming black. My hard puffy nipples were outlined, my bellybutton, even my sex, my plump labia and the cleft of my slit defined precisely. But obviously it was the round full swell of my stomach that drew the eye and seemed so incongruous with my small sexy body.

"You are so beautiful, my god. Look at her, Paul. Have you ever seen anything like that?" She was serious and her husband nodded his agreement, both of them drinking me in with their eyes.

"Thank you." I said, barely able to even whisper.

"I wish I could have a child." She was looking in my eyes. "Can I touch you? Please?"

"Angela can't have children." Her husband explained, without really explaining anything.

The woman touched my stomach tentatively, with just her fingertips at first. Her eyes were focused on me, narrowed as her lips parted slightly with anticipation. And then she was smiling as she pressed her hand lightly to my body, smiling up at me suddenly.

"Is it moving? I felt it move...Didn't I?" She glanced over her shoulder at Dr. Prescott for a second before I answered.

"Yeah. It's awake." I nodded and I couldn't help but smile too, it was impossible not to.

"I had a miscarriage, when I was young..." Angela laughed nervously, "...too young, and now..." She sighed wistfully, rubbing my stomach with both hands. "You're so lucky. Take care of it. Take really good care of it." Her green eyes were shining and so intense that I thought she was close to tears.

How could I ever tell this woman that it was her husband's baby inside me? I'd tried to forget him for so long, and when I couldn't I wanted to hate him, and finally just felt nothing towards him. And tonight, for a few seconds I'd felt hate, and I wanted to hate Angela as well. But now I couldn't. I couldn't hate either of them, all I felt was sympathy for the woman, and when I glanced at Dr. Prescott all I could see was love and empathy for his wife on his handsome features. I didn't understand what I was feeling or why. I didn't understand how he could cheat on her the way he had. Sex with me had been nothing to him, so why would he hurt her like that?

"So are you here with your husband?" Dr. Prescott asked me, feeling impatient perhaps, although it was hard to tell.

"Jack." I licked my lips.

"Right." He nodded.

"He's parking the car." I took a ragged breath, feeling so nervous I wanted to throw up talking to the man while his wife held me. She'd put her right arm around my shoulder, hugging me a little, while her left hand continued to rub my tummy.

"He sounds like a gentleman." Angela smiled at me. "A woman in your condition shouldn't be walking too far. And those heels!" She practically gasped, but the sparkle in her eyes told me she was teasing me.

"He's nice." I agreed. "And these are a little hard on my back, yeah." I laughed, feeling up and down all at once. Angela was doing her best to relax me, just by being herself, and yet the presence of her husband was like a shadow looming above me, making me cold all over.

"You should let Angie give you a massage." Dr. Prescott was leaning against the wall near the elevator. "She's a chiropractor, make you feel like a new woman."

"Really?" I looked at her. "You're a doctor too?" She didn't look like a doctor, but she wasn't exactly dressed for the office either.

"Uh-huh, I do a lot of rehabilitation work at UMC, but I have my own office in Renton." She moved slightly and then smiled, rolling her eyes. "I was going to give you a card, but I left my purse in the car."

"Me too, that's okay."

"Oops...going down." Dr. Prescott, Paul, said with a grin. There was a distant bell and the elevator hummed to life. "Maybe that's your husband now."

I felt my heart skip a beat, really finally realizing that my husband was actually going to meet the man who had planted the child growing in my womb. I wondered if I could dare tell Jack, or if I should try and speak with Paul first. Or if I should keep all of this to myself and pray it never came out. 

The elevator stopped and a moment later it was moving again, rising slowly. Coming closer and I closed my eyes, feeling like the absolute coward I was.

I didn't want to hurt Angela, nor did I feel hatred, or even anger at Paul. I didn't know what I felt about him. I respected my husband though and I loved him too much, it would be impossible I thought to hide me nervousness. He'd know something was wrong and he wasn't blind or stupid, he'd figure it out probably, even if I didn't say a word.

I was looking down. It seemed sometimes as if I were always looking down, ever since that day seven months previously when I'd allowed myself to be seduced so easily by Dr. Paul Prescott. It had felt good at the time and that was really my only excuse, which was no excuse at all. I'd suffered with guilt ever since, for cheating on my husband, for betraying my family and my upbringing. For very nearly throwing away everything that was truly important to me. Just for a few moments of pleasure? It wasn't a very good deal.

The worst part, maybe, was the baby in my womb. It wasn't my husband's child and he knew it. Telling him that I was pregnant had been even more difficult than telling him that I'd cheated on him. He'd punished me for it, as a real man should I think. As anyone should. If I'd caught him making love to his secretary, or over dinner he confessed that he'd gotten another woman pregnant, would I have been so lenient as he'd been with me? He hadn't kicked me out, afterall, he hadn't screamed, or broken anything. He hadn't slapped my face. He'd just ignored me for awhile and perhaps that had been worse.

But we were married, we were in love, and my guilt and remorse were evident, so he'd begun to forgive me. Not completely, I thought, not yet, but it was coming. The day when it would be alright again, when he could really love me and trust me again. The day when he could respect me, and then too would I be able to respect myself.

End Chapter 2 



Respect Ch. 03



That day seemed very distant though, as I sat there on a leather bench in a largely empty room, looking down.

Angela was with me, sitting close with her arm around my shoulder and her hand on my swollen tummy, caressing my baby through the skintight rubber that covered my body from my toes to my neck. It was black and shiny and I wore it as a second skin, a dark mirror that reflected the fluorescent lights above us. It was a gift from my husband, from Jack, the first he'd given me in seven months.

And there, standing against the wall, was Paul himself, Angela's husband and the father of my unborn child, although neither of them knew it. That was my secret and mine alone. My husband had never asked who the father was, although I had waited for the question, even prayed for it. I think if he'd asked, if Jack had shown some interest beyond the bare fact that I'd cheated on him, it might have meant something. I just wasn't sure what precisely. My husband was something of an enigma to me, seeming very much different from the man I'd married almost a year and half before. I was different too however, changed in many ways, and so perhaps all of this was just a part of a process we'd endured before, falling in love.

Such are the thoughts a woman has while waiting for her husband to meet the man who'd fucked her. It was going to hurt, if the truth came out. I didn't know exactly who or how, but it was a sense I had, making the small loose strands of hair at the back of my neck stand up. Angela seemed innocent of the whole affair, sitting there and making friends with me. I liked her and I hadn't tried not to. She didn't know her husband had seduced me, it wasn't her fault. I didn't want to hurt her with the truth.

And Paul, Dr. Prescott, he'd barely remembered me when we'd met tonight. Doubtless he remembered fucking me, I could see it in his eyes that he remembered that much at least, but little more than that. I'd never confronted him, never tracked him down to tell him about our baby. I'd been afraid to, at least in the beginning, and then later I'd considered an abortion, and so he'd have no real interest in me anyway after that. And finally, after deciding to keep my baby and offer it up for adoption, I'd simply wanted to forget him. That was all, I wanted to put everything behind me and shut it out forever.

But here he was, in the flesh, and the elevator was coming and with it my husband, or so we all expected. It had been some time since Jack had dropped me off at the club, the Pacific Northwest Power Exchange, or simply PX, which was a Seattle based BDSM group. It was our new passion, this alternative lifestyle, and one that we'd both embraced for our own personal reasons. I suspected it was the reason for my husband's newfound sex drive, which had been lackluster at best for the first 8 months of our marriage. Now he was eager and ardent and attentive enough that I was overwhelmed at times with his desire for me. His desire to punish me, to humiliate and love me, as if suddenly all those things were one and the same.

And punishment was good. I'd found myself accepting it readily. Would I have done so before that day when I'd betrayed him? I didn't know, and I would never know, but it was unimportant. Through unfortunate fate we'd found something new and persuasive to our hearts. If my reasons for wanting this, for allowing myself to be bound and beaten and subjugated, were impure, at least they were mine. All of us have our reasons, and none of us can judge anyone but ourselves. My husband hadn't judged me, or so I believed, he'd accepted what I told him and had treated me as he'd felt necessary. My acceptance of that was necessary to me.

I felt my heart stop as the elevator doors opened. I was determined to say nothing to my husband about Paul and I could only hope that he wouldn't notice anything wrong. But I'd never been good at hiding things, at lying. Guilt poured out of me like blood from an open wound and Jack knew me so well.

"Charles. And Charli..." Paul sighed. "...Beautiful as ever."

"Hello Paul." A man's voice said, "Hi Angela..."

"Hi Paul." There was a woman's voice, and the sound of heels on the cold tiled floor.

"...meeting out here tonight?" The man chuckled and I felt him closer as Angela let go of me, rising to give the man a hug and accept a kiss on the cheek.

"You remember Lisa?" The woman was saying and I looked up finally, confused for a moment as I thought she was talking about me.

"Yes I do, I remember every inch of her." Paul laughed and hugged a second woman. 

"We missed you, how was Rome?" The man, Charles, was asking Angela and I remembered meeting him once before, at one of the first meetings Jack and I had attended. I remembered his wife as well, Charli, but we hadn't spoken very much at all. They'd been with another woman, another aspiring member like ourselves. Her name was Lisa, and she was kissing Paul's cheek and smiling.

"It was fabulous..." Angela smiled.

"We have a Lisa too." Paul smiled, turning towards me and I stood up slowly, feeling nervous, and an odd mixture of relief and disappointment that Jack hadn't been on the elevator.

"Well, of course you do!" Charles smiled, letting go of Angela and embracing me gently. "How could anyone forget you?"

"It's nice to see you again." I said, returning his hug awkwardly with my large tummy between us.

"You remember my wife, Charli, and our pet, Lisa?" Charles stepped back and Charli took his place, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

"Look at you!" Charli stepped back, smiling as she took in my body. I'd been all of 5 months pregnant perhaps when we'd met previously, and dressed much more conservatively.

"Isn't she amazing?" Angela was smiling. "I'm head over heels, I think."

"Where did you ever find an outfit like that?" Lisa was hugging me, just a squeeze and then stepping back.

Charles had made his way back to Paul and they were smiling and talking quietly, glancing at the four of us women. The other three were standing close around me, admiring my maternity fetishwear and of course my oversized stomach.

"My husband found it, someplace on the internet." I giggled, "He surprised me completely."

"I bet." Charli was nodding. "It's beautiful. Suits you perfectly, don't ever take it off." We all laughed at that.

They were all attractive people. Charli dressed much as I remembered her, very dark with what looked to be a short black slip covered with an outer layer of sheer black lace, formed like the shadow of a ball gown. Her skin was white, extremely pale, and her black hair was long and silky straight, falling halfway to her waist, and she had the bluest eyes I think I've ever seen. With her crimson lips and deep black eye shadow, Lisa looked like the quintessential Goth, vampiric and sullen, until she smiled. But even her generous smile didn't ruin the effect; it just made her seem more intimidating, like she knew a secret that amused her.

Her husband was handsome in a boyish way, with rogue good looks beneath a tangle of soft brown hair that he wore long, over the ears and on his shoulders. His eyes were brown until one got close enough to look into them, and then you could see they were green, as I imagine the sea a hundred feet down. Dark green and open with invitation. I remember liking his eyes very much when we'd first met; they weren't like anyone else's. He was dressed casual, like Paul and like my husband, who would arrive momentarily I was sure.

Charles and Charli were full members, and both of them Dominant. Lisa was their submissive, or their pet as they liked to call her with no small affection. She was dressed provocatively, wearing what looked like a genuine Girl Scout uniform. A loose fitting shirt complete with troop patches and insignia, tucked neatly into a pleated skirt that barely covered her tight round butt. As she moved I could see her white panties, tight bikini style underwear like a teenage girl might wear, and she looked like a teenager. But of course she was older, in her mid-twenties I'd guess, but it wasn't obvious at first glance. Lisa had a very pretty face and long blonde hair, tied back in a ponytail with a pink ribbon. She had long tanned legs, something I've always admired in other women since mine were so short, and she completed the outfit with knee high socks and a pair of black Betty's that reminded me of the 8th grade.

Only couples could join the club, that was a rule strictly enforced, no singles allowed. But a threesome was alright, so long as two of them were already members. A couple could sponsor a single man or women, but only as a part of their union, as such things were called. Jack and I were a union, which I supposed was practical since not all of the couples in the club were married to each other, or even socialized outside of the club. That seemed strange to me, but this was a different sort of lifestyle than the usual.

So, Lisa was sponsored by Charles and Charli, and I think she was going to be voted full membership soon. Jack and I had no sponsor, at least that I was aware of, and I had no idea how he'd found out about the club or managed to get us in. I had asked about it once, after our second Gathering, but I'd gotten no specific answers and my attitude towards the whole affair was one of trust. I'd do as my husband wished, not only or simply because he wished it, but because I found myself enjoying it as well. If I hadn't, I doubt Jack would have tried to force me in any way.

It took at least 6 months I'd been told, and more often as long as a year, before candidates were voted membership, or informed that they were unsuitable. Such a decision was still a long ways off for us, but I'll tell you it was never far from my mind. I was excited by the thought of being accepted, but anxious as well and afraid to hope for too much. I'd only enjoyed myself at the gatherings and events we'd attended. As nervous as I always was upon arriving, by the time we left I was always relaxed, and often exhausted with pleasure.

It wasn't that we had sex, not that at all. In fact I'd never had intercourse at all, with anyone at the club, not even my husband. But there are many forms of erotic pleasure and my husband and I were eager to learn. Some unions had sex, of course, and I'd certainly witnessed a lot of it. But there were probably more people who didn't, at least not in public. I couldn't say what was happening behind the closed doors of the smaller, more private rooms. 

The club was very structured, very formal, and I think that was the aspect of it I enjoyed the most. Jack had established our limits, or our rules, when it came to interacting with others, and that was his right and responsibility as the Dominant half of our union. I probably didn't know all of the limits he'd set, and I didn't really need or want to, although I'm not sure we were typical of most of the members in that regard. I did know that I couldn't have sex with anyone but Jack. Not oral or anal, or even masturbation or kissing. I wasn't allowed to scene with anyone without his permission and presence. My personal limits, those restrictions I placed on a scene, were determined solely by me and we used the standard safewords: Yellow and Red.

Every member was expected to know and understand the rules and limits of others, and respect them at all times. There was no warning for breaking rules such as ours, there was only permanent expulsion, and if one member of a union was expelled, so was the other. It had seemed rather harsh to me when I'd learned that, but after witnessing scenes and speaking with members, it soon became clear that there could be no other way. Everything was based on trust and respect and once lost, it could never be regained.

That alone bothered me more than you might imagine, for I'd broken my husband's respect and trust. And now, standing there in the same room with Paul and his wife, I was worried that I was doing it again. If I didn't speak up, at least to my husband, and to Paul, to explain that Paul was the man I'd cheated with, I felt I'd be breaking the rules. If not in deed, then certainly in conscience. I had no idea what I was doing, all of this was way over my head and I needed someone to talk with about it. Someone whom I could trust to be impartial and wouldn't be hurt by what I'd done.

"Are you ready?" Charles was rounding up his wife and their pet, putting his arms around them and smiling at me. "We'll see you inside."

"Don't be long." Charli gave my tummy a little pat, and then Lisa smiled at me as well as they left the foyer and entered the club proper.

Paul was looking at his watch. "Where did your husband park, Vancouver?" He teased me.

"Oh, I hope not!" I laughed nervously, sitting down again. "I told him next time we're taking a taxi."

"Yeah, that's what we do." Angela sat with me, nodding. "It's ridiculous down here."

"Well, you guys don't have to sit with me..." I was saying and the elevator started again.

"Here he is." Paul nodded.

I was tired of worrying, but apparently not done with it yet as I felt my heart lurch into my throat. I stood up with Angela and watched the doors expectantly as they opened and Jack was there, smiling apologetically.

"Sorry, babe." He said, walking over to give me a little hug. "Hi, how are you?" He looked around at Angela and Paul.

Angela smiled at him, saying hello, and Paul crossed the few yards that separated us, extending his hand.

"Jack, this is Doctors Angela and Paul Prescott, this is my husband, Jack." I made the introductions, willing my voice to remain steady. "My upper-half." I added with a small laugh.

"Hello, Paul." My husband was shaking hands with the man who'd fucked me.

"Jack, nice to meet you." Paul answered, and I couldn't see anything between them, hostility or jealousy, or whatever. Just the usual alpha-males sizing each other up looks that all men seemed to share. The females, the Domme's, had that same attitude, so I knew it wasn't strictly sexual, around the club at least.

"Well, you're certainly worth the wait, Jack." Angela licked her lips, giving my husband a rather obvious look of interest. That wasn't uncommon though and I'd gotten over the openness of the membership when it came to things like that. But it still made me vaguely uncomfortable, especially under the circumstances.

"Angela and Paul were keeping me company." I explained, watching as Angela hugged my husband, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"I see, that's awfully kind of you." Jack smiled. "Thank you."

"Oh, it's no big deal." Paul laughed, slapping Jack lightly on the shoulder. "What are friends for?"

"Are we going in?" Angela looked at Paul.

"You guys go ahead, we'll be along in a minute." My husband nodded to Angela.

"Okay, see you in a bit." Angela put her hand on my tummy one more time and gave me a little kiss on the corner of my mouth, surprising me a little. "Don't be too long."

Paul flashed us a little smile and wave

"They seem friendly." Jack grinned as soon as Angela and Paul were gone. "Are you okay?" I think he could sense something wrong with me and I did my best to hide it.

"Yeah, I just wondered what was taking you so long." I smiled and sat back down. 

Jack had my collar in hands and he bent over me while I tilted my head up so he could fix it around my delicate neck. It was thin black leather, rather simple, with a small silver tag shaped like a heart. My name was engraved on it and all slaves and submissives wore collars of one sort or another. Some were like mine, simple and practical; others had everything from heavy iron slave rings, to light gold or silver chains. One woman I'd seen, an older woman in her late 40's, had a leather collar studded with diamonds. Real diamonds and I'd wondered where one would find a jeweler to do something like that. She'd told me Beverly Hills, of course.

It wasn't soon after we'd entered the club that we found ourselves with Paul and Angela, although I'd wished to avoid them if at all possible. There were a lot of people there, perhaps thirty or more just in the common area, the large open space around which all the smaller rooms were situated. I'd excused myself to use the restroom as soon as we were inside and felt no embarrassment at all having to ask a woman I didn't know to unzip me.

"This things are nice, but why can't they put the zippers in the front?" She giggled. 

"Or at least on the side. Thanks." I smiled.

When I was finished there was no one in the bathroom, so it was only mildly embarrassing walking through the crowd to my husband and asking him to zip me up. People were showing a lot more skin than just a bit of my back, and so was I for that matter, the latex was so thin and fitted my body so well that every tiny bump and indentation was plainly visible. I may as well have been naked, I thought, but I wasn't and that made it okay somehow.

"We've been invited to watch a scene." My husband told me, as he smoothed the bit of overlapping rubber that hid the zipper.

"Oh, really? Who?"

"That woman that looks like Vampirella we met a couple months ago..."

"Charli?" I turned around looking at my husband.

"Yeah, Charli and her girl, Lisa." He smiled at me. "She's dressed like a girl Scout."

"Yeah, I saw her." I giggled. "All she needs is a box of cookies."

"Mmm...Now that would be illegal." Jack laughed.

Charles, Charli, and Lisa were in one of the private rooms, with a small audience of two already in attendance, our newest friends Angela and Paul. I stopped at the door, for just a second, with my smile frozen on my face while I tried to calm myself. This was going to be okay, I thought. We'd watch the scene and nobody would notice a thing. Nobody would guess that Paul had put his baby in me. It would be okay.

Each of the rooms had a different motif, although at the time I didn't really know that much about them. The one we were in resembled a classroom, which I thought was kind of neat. It may even have been used for a classroom since I knew the club did hold some educational functions from time to time, with members giving little lessons on different aspects of BDSM. Everything from knot tying, to asphyxia, to stretching, and who knows what else. Anything that can be imagined really. The only lesson we'd ever attended had been a mandatory one, First aid and Adult CPR, taught by one of the members who could actually certify people in it. I even got a small card that said I knew what I was doing, but I certainly hoped I'd never have to prove it. I didn't have a lot of faith in myself.

There was a blackboard on the far wall, and near that a large 'teacher's' desk and then a few 'students' desks with chairs. The walls around that little stage area were decorated with the sort of posters and pictures and notices you'd remember from your own high school days. There were other props as well, a filing cabinet, little round waste basket, and the ubiquitous round wall clock. It was all lit brightly and seemed ready for any school fantasy you could think of.

Near all of that sat a large sofa and several well cushioned arm chairs, with end tables with soft lamps glowing on them. That part of the room was darker, and arranged so people could relax, have drinks, and enjoy the show. Paul and Angela were sitting close together on the sofa already, and they turned to greet us as we entered. Charles was in one of the chairs and he gave us a little wave. Our little girl scout, Lisa, was sitting on the teacher's desk and from the 30 odd feet that separated us I might have sworn she was just 15, or maybe 16 years old at the most. 

Charli had changed clothes, deciding to be a sex education teacher instead of a vampire, at least for a little while. She was wearing a blood red corset, pulled so tight I wondered how she could breathe. Seeing her waist cinched down to nothing I immediately felt like I weighed 300 pounds suddenly, and I glanced at my swollen tummy self-consciously. That corset really showed off her body though, which was very nice with her round hips and large breasts threatening to spill out of the corset's bustier. She had black fishnet stockings and impossibly high heels, but apparently Charli was used to them, because she moved around like a dancer.




Respect Ch. 03



Charli was holding a long wooden pointer and she swished it through the air, smiling at us. "You kids don't want to be tardy!" She said, trying to sound serious. "Or you'll end up in detention like this bad little girl."

"Uh, no ma'am." Jack answered for us with a grin. "We're very sorry."

"And who says detention is a bad thing?" Angela giggled.

"Not me!" Paul smiled and took me by the hand, pulling me down. "Here, you can sit by me.

"Would you care to sit with me, Sir?" Angela was looking at my husband, but her eyes were lowered submissively, reminding me that I too had to follow the customs once I was inside the club. I'd already forgotten them when I'd come out of the bathroom, talking with my husband. That was always hard to remember until I'd been there for a little while.

"Thank you, Sir..." I told Paul softly, but glanced at my husband. "If it pleases my Master?"

"You can sit with him." My husband smiled. "Be good." He teased me as he took his place next to Angela so that they were between us, with Jack and me at opposite ends of the sofa.

I had to remember to reply to any Dominant who addressed me, and to respond respectfully, addressing them as Sir or Ma'am. Jack was always Master to me, but if I was given to someone, that is if was allowed to scene with another Dom, then I would address them as Master or Mistress until the scene was over. It wasn't too hard to remember once the evening started, but it did require a subtle change in thinking, and it made people speak more slowly I think. Or more deliberately possibly, so that the club became even more formalized in even the smallest details.

I also couldn't tell a Dom to do anything, but I could only suggest, or better yet, ask him or her if they cared to do something. Like sit with me perhaps, as Angela had done with my husband. If a Dom wanted me to do something, I had to defer to my husband's wishes. I couldn't refuse to sit with Paul, only my husband could decide if I would or wouldn't. Usually a Dom would ignore me and just ask my husband as if I weren't even there, but not always, and that always seemed to be a little test I thought. A chance for a member to see if I was serious and paying attention to the rules and customs. I was glad Angela had spoken first or I might have made a mistake.

People did scenes in front of small audiences all the time, if audience was even the right word. Usually it was just a small group of close friends, or at least newly made friends. That had seemed odd to me at first, but I'd done several scenes myself. Only once with my husband, and twice with different Masters while my husband and others watched. I'd been nervous, and frightened of course, not knowing what to expect and afraid I'd appear foolish somehow, but once it started, and it was good, I quickly forgot anyone else was there. And if I did happen to think about it, I would get a small exhibitionist thrill that only made it better.

Charli and Lisa were obviously very experienced with each other and it was interesting to watch. The room filled with sexual tension as the darkly beautiful Charli began with putting bright golden Lisa's pantied ass on display. The girl, for that was how she looked to me, was bent over the teacher's desk, her long legs spread slightly and Charli chastised her for wearing such a short skirt, for teasing the boys, and worst of all, for teasing Charli.

The desk was not just for show either, as I soon found out when Charli opened the drawers, pulling out various paddles and canes and whips. She'd examine them carefully, asking Lisa if she liked this one or that, and occasionally using one on the girl's soft round butt.

"Hold this one for me, I like it." Charli smirked at one point and pushed the phallus shaped handle of a leather cat-o'-nine-tails into Lisa's mouth, working it in and out of the girl's stretched lips for a moment like a large black cock, before leaving her to hold it in her mouth.

Charlie finally settled on a paddle that looked like one of those flat wooden bats they use in cricket. It looked rather dangerous to me and I wondered how it would feel. Lisa was soon to find out and I watched with rapt attention as Charli held it with both hands, swinging it hard so that the flat wood slapped Lisa's ass with a painfully loud smacking sound. The girl's whole body seemed to jerk and Charli warned her not to drop the flogger clenched between Lisa's teeth or she'd really be punished.

The panties Lisa wore offered little protection and after a dozen strokes with the paddle Charli stopped, pulling Lisa's panties tight between the cheeks of her ass so we could all see the girl's skin livid with furious heat. But she hadn't lost the whip in her mouth and Charli rewarded Lisa with a rough massage of her tortured skin, digging her fingers into the soft globes of Lisa's ass, pulling and pushing and chuckling cruelly as the girl moaned, writhing on the desk.

I was excited by what was going on, so much so that I'd almost forgotten exactly where I was and who I was with. My heartbeat was quick and I was almost panting, enjoying the scene and wishing more than a little that it were me up there instead of that other Lisa. Charli looked like she knew what she was doing and I'd never been with a woman.

"Take out my penis, Lisa." Paul whispered in my ear, his hand stroking my stomach gently. He'd been touching me since I'd sat down, mostly just there on my stomach, or on my thighs, and I hadn't minded it so much once the scene had started.

"Wha..." I swallowed hard, dropping my eyes quickly. "Sir, I...I can't do that..."

"Why not?" He chuckled softly and his breath was hot on my skin.

"I have to ask my...my Master, Sir." I felt a small shiver run along my spine.

"You didn't have to ask him before." Paul's hand was sliding down my stomach, following the great round shape down between my legs, pressing his fingers between my thighs.

"I...Please Sir, I'm not the same person..." I did look at him then, staring into his eyes with mine, pleading for this not to happen. If I had to, I'd tell my husband exactly who Paul was.

He stared at me for a long count of ten and then nodded, maybe trying to decide if I was telling him the truth or not. "Good." He smiled. "I like you better this way."

I let out the breath I was holding as Paul's hand moved back to my tummy, easing the pressure he'd been putting on me to open my legs.

"So ask him." He told me, and it wasn't a request. He was a total Dom. "Ask him now."

I felt my stomach churning and I licked my lips. I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to do it, to touch his penis again. The thought of it did not excite me at all, if anything I was repulsed by it and all I could do was hope my husband would sense this and say no.

"Master..." I leaned forward slightly, trying not to speak too loudly as it would have been very rude to interrupt a scene. "...He, uh, Sir has asked me to touch his..."

"Cock." Paul whispered.

"...his cock. May I?" I was looking down, afraid to look at my husband just then, or Angela, wondering how she might react.

"Of course you may, Lisa." My husband agreed immediately, surprising me so that I looked up only to find that Angela had already done as much for my husband. She was smiling at me as her left hand moved slowly up and down Jack's hard penis.

I stared at him and he just smiled at me, giving me the barest suggestion of a shrug, and this was new territory for us both, I thought.

"My Master has given me permission to do whatever Sir would like me to do." Angela said softly. "Perhaps your Master would give you the same courtesy."

The words were obviously meant for my husband and he made a small "Hmmm..." sound, as if he hadn't considered that.

I was feeling very confused by that point, like my world had turned upside down. First by Paul testing me, for I was sure that was what he was doing, whether for his own twisted reasons, or because it was a club thing, I didn't know. But also by my husband's rapid agreement to let me play with another man's cock, something he'd flatly refused during previous visits; and then seeing that Angela was already playing with my husband and I hadn't noticed a thing, nor had my husband bothered to let me know what he was doing.

I didn't know how I felt right then, or even how I was supposed to feel. A little hurt possibly, angry maybe, even a touch of jealousy perhaps. But none of those emotions seemed genuine, they seemed more like feelings that I was expecting, or wanting maybe. My real feelings were hidden from me, or I was hiding from them perhaps. Did I really want to share my husband like that? To see another woman touching him, perhaps even making love to him as she'd suggested she would if my husband desired it? And how could I dare want my husband to give me in the same way to Paul? Did he know or suspect that the man had taken me once already? He couldn't know, I thought, all of this had to be some ironic twist of fate.

"I think we should leave her clothes on tonight. I spent to much for that outfit to see her out of it." My husband was leaning behind Angela, speaking with Paul and they both had a soft laugh at that.

"I understand completely," Paul was nodding. "And I thank you, Sir."

"I thank you, Sir." My husband replied without so much as a glance at me.

So I was to do whatever Paul wanted me to, short of removing my clothes, which basically meant the man couldn't fuck me. It was small consolation when I realized it was just the first step towards something new and completely different for our relationship. I swallowed hard and began undoing Paul's trousers as he rubbed my swollen belly. Just in front of me I could see Paul's wife bending over, taking my husband in her mouth as he leaned back, sighing happily.

I felt a secret thrill, one that I couldn't hide and I bit my lip. I slipped my hand inside Paul's pants and felt the heavy warmth of his semi-hard cock, the same one I'd felt seven months ago when it had poured it's potent seed into my womb. I felt a tingle across my skin, an involuntary shudder of dark delight. I was revisiting the scene of the crime and about to do it again, but this time with my husband's blessing. Whatever happened the rest of the evening I was certain I would still respect Jack, but as I pulled Paul's beautiful cock free of its confines I couldn't help but wonder if my husband would ever find his respect for me.

I was trying to do too many things at once. Not that I wanted to be doing all of them, or maybe I did; I was still trying to figure that out.

I was sitting on a large sofa next to Paul Prescott, the man I'd cheated with seven months before. The man who had fathered the child growing in my womb. He didn't know it was his baby, however, and neither did his wife, Angela. She was sitting just on the other side of Paul, giving my husband, Jack, a blowjob. I guess that was okay though, since I was jerking Paul off slowly with my left hand while I tried to keep my attention on the little BDSM scene being played out in front of us.

But my eyes and thoughts were continuously being drawn to the image of Angela's long red hair hanging like a veil around the soft wet sucking sounds that filled my ears. Not that they were being overly loud, they weren't, but I was just a little too sensitive to it. This was the first time that I'd ever seen my husband with another woman and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

I wasn't sure how to feel about stroking Paul's large cock either. I'd wanted to avoid the man, really, but that had proven impossible from the minute I'd bumped into him and his wife in the foyer of the Pacific Northwest Power Exchange, the BDSM club to which Jack and I were aspiring members. I'd tried my best not to think about him for a long time, but now here I was, holding his long thick penis in my hand, stroking him slowly while his hands played with my swollen belly.

Nobody in that room knew the real secret, that Paul had made me pregnant during one brief moment of weakness. That was my secret and I was deathly afraid that it might slip out somehow. My husband had given Paul permission to do with me as the man wanted, provided the skintight latex bodysuit I wore didn't come off. So at least Paul wasn't going to try and have sex with me again, and that was a relief actually, it would have been just too much for my guilty conscience with my husband there.

The BDSM scene we were watching had been going on for a little while by now. Charli, a beautiful Goth Dom was topping Lisa, a fresh faced young woman who looked like the girl next door. Charli's husband, Charles was sitting near us in an overstuffed chair, watching with obvious pleasure. He was Dominant too and he and his wife shared Lisa as their pet submissive.

Charli had already warmed Lisa's perfect round ass with a paddle. It was red and tender, fully exposed as the girl's panties had been drawn tightly between the globes of her ass, like a thong, splitting her cheeks. Charli was using a flog on her now, a cat'-o-nine-tails, that swished through the air and landed with a quick staccato of pain. Lisa was crying out, her body trembling as she bent over the teacher's desk, standing on tip-toe and her knees buckling slightly with every stroke. It was making me incredibly hot, despite my nervousness, and I found myself spreading my legs slightly for Paul's fingers.

"You like it, huh?" Paul was whispering, digging into my puffy sex through the thin layer of latex that covered me. It was black and fit me closely so that every contour of my body was plainly evident. It was like being naked in a way, and while Paul could touch me as if I were, enjoying my pregnant body as he desired, I did have that odd protection of being encased in rubber. The sensations conspired to drive my desires ever further.

Paul suddenly pinched my sex, gripping my clitoris and a large bit of the surrounding tissue through the thin latex and pulling. It made me yelp sharply, my body jerking even as I looked down, embarrassed at having made a sound which might have interrupted Charli and Lisa's scene, but I doubt they noticed me at all by that point. They were very much inside the special place that only a good BDSM scene can take you.

"I asked if you liked it." Paul stroked my cunt as if trying to sooth me after his little punishment.

"Y-Yes sir..." I breathed, a small shiver going up my spine. "I like it."

"Did you tell your husband that I fucked you once?" He asked and his lips were on my ear.

I tightened my grip on his penis, shaking my head just a fraction and staring straight ahead at Charli and Lisa.

"But you told him somebody did, didn't you?" He was working a finger between my labia, pressing the rubbery material between my lips and I shifted, feeling my sex growing even hotter, although it felt as if I were on fire already.

"Yessss..." I hissed, forgetting to add the obligatory 'Sir' but I doubt he was worried about it.

"And you're just aching to tell him about me, aren't you, Lisa?" He kissed my neck softly.

"No...No sir, please..." I was moaning softly, lifting my hips and suddenly wishing he'd leave me alone, or just push his fingers a fraction deeper. I couldn't decide, my brain being confused with what I was seeing and feeling and hearing.

"Look at me, slut." He said and when I reluctantly turned my face towards his, Paul was kissing me. His lips on mine, his tongue forcing it's way past my parted lips so that he filled my mouth with it.

My whole body went tense for a second, and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't want to kiss this man, but it was good for some reason. I was enjoying it even as the floodgates of guilt were opened and a darkness seemed to fill me. I was kissing him back, letting him pull me closer so that my swollen stomach was against his body. I sucked his tongue and played with his rigid cock, feeling the slippery wetness of Paul's precum beneath my soft leather gloves. I spread my legs wider, letting the man caress my pussy, the pressure of his fingers against my engorged clit was driving me now. My nipples ached, prominent and bitterly restrained by the rubber surrounding me.

Paul's hand on my stomach moved upward, finding my heavy breasts which had only recently begun to swell, preparing milk for our unborn child. He squeezed me gently at first, and then harder, feeling my body as if I were wearing nothing at all and I gasped into his mouth. We were kissing like lovers, the way I'd really only kissed one man before in my entire life – my husband. Paul was making love to me with his mouth, I could feel it and I accepted it, forgetting everything but the pleasure his tongue and lips and hands were giving me. It was unfair, a small voice protested, but it went unheeded. I was lost in the knowledge that this was the father of my baby and my husband had given me to him, just this much and just for the moment, but Jack had done it just the same.

I was released suddenly, left gasping and slightly disoriented as Angela leaned across her husband and Paul was pushing me towards her. The woman wrapped her arms around me, on hand going behind my head and then she was kissing me. It was unexpected and I was still trying to understand when her mouth opened and I realized she was pushing my husband's cum into my mouth with her tongue. He'd had his orgasm, while I'd been kissing Paul, and filled Angela's mouth with his sperm. I accepted it, unable to do anything else and then pushed it back. It was strange and wonderful and utterly depraved to my confused mind. I'd never in my life kissed another woman before, nor had I ever dreamt of my husband having sex with someone else. But here was the proof, sliding between us, warm and thick and salty, while our husband's watched.

We did that for a long time, until I was breathless and both of our mouths were filled with my husband's cum and our shared saliva. I swallowed thickly, as did Angela, and I couldn't help but return her breathless smile.

"Suck Paul now..." She whispered. "Share it with me when he cums."

All of this was so new for me, for my husband too I was sure. We'd been coming here for almost two months but this was the first time we'd ever played in any sexual games. We'd watched, and played out BDSM scenes, but nothing had been like this. I caught his face, for just a moment and he was smiling at me, and then he disappeared behind Angela's soft red hair as she turned to kiss him with the same eager enthusiasm I'd shared with her husband.

Paul pulled me down then, guiding me gently so that my mouth was over his large cock. It was even bigger than I remembered. The first time I'd seen it, that day seven months ago in his office, It had seemed huge to me then, stretching my innocent sex as if I were a virgin again and stealing my fidelity without a fight. I'd given myself to the man easily and now here I was again, offering myself to him, letting him take me. I felt guilt and fear and the impossible sensation of desire. It was like being on a drug and knowing that my husband had given it to me was just a rationalization. He didn't know everything, I tried to remind myself, or he never would have allowed this.

I opened my mouth wide, closing my eyes for a moment as I took the swollen head between my lips. I tickled it briefly with my tongue and then took him deeper. My husband was average sized I think, a little over 6, maybe 7 inches long and not so thick. I could take all of him easily now that I'd had plenty of practice. But Paul's penis was at least 2 or even 3 inches longer and very thick. I'd never get him into my throat, all I could do was take as much as I could, the head of his cock making me gag slightly as it nudged the back of my mouth, and I quickly learned what I could take and what I couldn't. I just moved my mouth up and down the top 4 inches or so and used my hands on the rest of him.




Respect Ch. 03



It was messy like that, precum and spit were pouring out of my mouth, leaking from my lips and running down the shaft, over my hand as I stroked him. Paul didn't seem to mind though, he'd opened his trousers completely, spreading his pants so that his dark curling pubic hair was soon matted with moisture. Every now and again I would pull my mouth away, licking and sucking along the shaft and down to his large balls. I'd kiss them as well, and even take them into my mouth, washing them gently with my tongue, rolling them around for a moment while I pumped his cock with my fist.

He was a long time cumming and my jaw began to ache, my lips feeling bruised and swollen. I was kneeling on the carpeted floor by then, my big round tummy swollen with life practically resting on my thighs. Paul was holding my head, guiding me up and down and I was making soft wet noises that filled my ears. I wondered if my husband was watching me, and I was almost certain he was. What did he think of me, I wondered? His sexy trophy wife pregnant with someone else's baby, on her knees in a BDSM club and sucking off a man he'd just met an hour before. Was he punishing me? I didn't think so, he was enjoying this, I thought. It was another step towards...wherever it was he was leading me, I didn't know.

"Paul warned me when he was about to cum, his voice low and husky. He was moving his hips slightly, lifting himself as he pulled my head down and then he relaxed, just enough so I could hold just the head of his cock in my mouth and jerk him off with my hand. I stroked him fast, coaxing his balls to release the sperm inside them and a half minute later I was suddenly rewarded with a warm flood of his thick cum. It filled my mouth quickly and I had to resist the urgent need to swallow, pulling my mouth away instead and pressing my lips tightly shut.

He was still cumming and I was still stroking Paul's cock, keeping my face close, rubbing his cockhead across my skin so that he was covering me with sperm. I kept pumping him until he was finally finished and I turned immediately to find Angela waiting. I kissed her hard, opening my mouth and pushing her husband's load into her hungry mouth. It was the same as we'd done with my husband's cum, sharing it between us, our lips locked tightly to form a seal and our tongues working against each other, back and forth until we had no choice but to swallow and breathe.

Angela licked my face clean, kissing and dragging her tongue across my cheeks and chin and nose. Gathering the sticky remains of her husband's orgasm into her mouth and saving it so we could kiss again. It was exciting and erotic to me, although I've no doubt that a year previously I would have found the idea of doing something like that sick and repulsive. I was a different person now, completely changed and changing still. I could feel Paul's sperm in my belly, joining my husband's, and the thought was wickedly delicious for a moment and I tried to shut it out of my mind.

I sat back down, Paul putting his arm around me as I tried to regain my breath. My baby was awake again, kicking and that was another sort of pleasure that would be impossible to describe unless you've felt it yourself. I touched my stomach, feeling the odd shaped pressure moving beneath my skin and without thinking I grabbed Paul's hand, putting it on my tummy so he could feel it too. I didn't do that because he was the father, or because I loved him suddenly, I didn't. It was just a need to share that moment with someone, with anyone, it didn't matter who, and he was closest.

"I feel it." He whispered, kissing my cheek in a gesture of friendship, rather than any sexual context. He really did think it was Jack's child and I'd given him no reason to think otherwise. ""You and Jack are so lucky." He was smiling and that brought me to my senses suddenly and I looked down, trying very hard not to frown.

I knew I couldn't keep my baby. Jack would never let me and that realization made me want to cry. None of this was fair, I thought. It was a punishment of a different sort, and hadn't I been punished enough yet? I was rocked with guilt, more than anything else, because I was enjoying myself. I'd enjoyed sucking Paul's cock, despite all my efforts not to, and now he was being my friend, the same way his wife had been working to bring us closer. We'd shared something, all of us and publicly. But only I knew the truth and it was a burden I was unprepared for.

In the classroom set in front of us Charli had finished with the flogging and Lisa was no longer bent over the teacher's desk, but on her knees, kissing her Mistress' shoes, thanking the woman for her punishment. It had been a short scene, and a simple one, but no less exciting for it. Lisa's ass had been paddled and whipped and she'd feel it for the rest of the evening, if not for the next day or two. It was foreplay and I envied my namesake for the simplicity of her life. She would find herself in the arms of both Charli and Charles soon, I thought, her painful experience explored and shared while they made love.

I would find myself with my husband, unable to share my thoughts and feelings in full. I'd always have that secret inside me, that one of our newest friends was the father of my baby. The man I'd looked to, however briefly, to usurp my husband's rightful place in my bed. I couldn't sit there with them, not while Paul was touching me, caressing me as if he were my lover, kissing my ear and murmuring soft words.

I excused myself to use the restroom, slipping away without a backward glance. I needed to be alone, I felt, or at least away from my husband and the Prescotts. I went to the restroom, not really needing to pee, and I found it thankfully empty. I stood in front of the mirrors, looking at myself. I was unhappy, that was plain, and my makeup was hopelessly smeared. I reached for the tissue box and began wiping my face, wishing I could wipe away everything, finding someone new and different beneath. I was weary of this uncertainty. The guilt I could take, the punishments, the waiting even, but the uncertainty of what I was doing, what I should do, that was a burden I'd been unprepared for.

I'd been in there a few minutes, cleaning my face slowly, when the door opened and Charli and Lisa entered. They were smiling and happy, Lisa especially was fairly glowing with her recent pleasure and her body was flushed with color. I smiled at them, trying my best to hide away my doubts and fears, but I was never very good at that and I suspected Charli was especially keen at reading people.

"What's wrong, dear?" She sensed immediately that I wasn't right and I felt her hand on my shoulder. Lisa had gone into one of the stalls, leaving us alone for the moment.

"I'm okay." I told her, pretending once more, but Charli wasn't fooled.

"Tell me, its okay. Did someone say something to you?" Charli spoke softly and I think she was concerned that someone at the club had done something to upset me.

There was a need in me to talk to someone, to seek a sympathetic ear if nothing else. I'd felt that need before, in the foyer, and now it was back and I felt as if I had no choice but to act on it. Charli was a stranger to me, but then so was everyone else in the club really. She at least seemed to like me, although I knew she was friends with Paul and Angela. That was a small doubt however, and far outweighed by my desire to confess to someone.

"Can we...talk? Someplace..." I spoke slowly, glancing around the restroom, mostly I think so I wouldn't have to look directly at Charli.

"Of course we can." The woman nodded. "This way."

Charli brought me to the boardroom as I called it, for no other reason than that's what it looked like. It was large and well appointed with a long table and a dozen leather chairs around it. We were sitting close together and Charli listened while I told her everything.

"And you think Paul is the father of your baby?" Charli was still dressed in her red corset, beautiful as ever and more than a little intimidating, I confess. If ever there had been women born to be worshipped, she was one of them.

"Yes, Ma'am." I sighed. She'd told me already we could drop the formalities for the time being, but I felt more comfortable with them. "He's the only one it could be. I never slept with anyone else and my husband, back then..." I gestured with my hand. "...it couldn't be his."

"You have to tell them." Charli told me gently. "You can't hide that forever, not from your husband, and not from Paul."

"But what if..." I licked my lips, trying to find the words to express my fears. "...I'm worried my husband will make a scene." I glanced at Charli. "With Paul, you know?"

"He could." Charli shrugged. "But that's his choice, right? It isn't up to you."

"Jack never asked me who the father is." I closed my eyes for a second.

"You want him to forgive you?" Charli asked me.

"Of course, yes." I did look at her then, thinking that was obvious.

"Then tell him everything. You can't have it one piece at a time, if he forgives you and then the truth come out later..." She gave me a small smile. "Better or worse?"

"Worse." I looked down at my tummy, knowing she was right.

"Then do something about it." Charli leaned forward, putting her hands on my shoulders. "Tonight, while they're together."

"Together?" I swallowed nervously.

"It's the only way, trust me." She was squeezing me gently. "If you tell one and not the other, they'll be suspicious...Your husband will be suspicious. It's a male thing." Charli giggled softly. "He'll wonder if Paul hadn't planned this, planned something, whether it makes sense or not. If you surprise them both, if your husband sees that Paul doesn't know, it'll go easier with him."

"Do you think so?" I searched her eyes and I found myself believing her.

"Yeah, I do."

"But what about Angela?" I sighed, pursing my lips. I didn't want to hurt her.

"Angela's tough." Charlie really did laugh then. "They have an open relationship, well...semi-open anyway."

"Semi-open?" I wasn't sure what that meant.

"Paul can pretty much do what, and who, he wants." Charli grinned. "Angela does what he tells her to. Charles and I have much the same thing with our Lisa, it isn't uncommon among the couples here."

"Do you think she knows..." I was suddenly embarrassed at the thought that Angela might have known about me all evening.

"Probably." Charli shrugged, "Or maybe not. It won't bother her that Paul fucked you, I can tell you that. I have no idea what she'll think about your baby being his."

"She'll hate me." I said miserably, remembering Angela's excitement and obvious envy.

"Oh, I don't think so." Charli shook her head. "You underestimate people a little too much I think. You underestimate yourself most of all. Your husband loves you; he's already forgiven you I think."

"Really?" I asked, not believing that very much. She didn't know us very well.

"Yeah, but that's just what I see." She reached up to stroke my cheek. "Did you ever think maybe he's just waiting for you to forgive yourself?"

I felt her words, more than heard them, and I wanted to believe her. I was aching inside, like a physical pain, a cramp way down deep in my soul. I couldn't forgive myself, not yet, I was waiting for my husband. He was the one who would save me, I thought, I couldn't do it by myself. It seemed like a catch-22 almost; I wouldn't forgive myself until he forgave me. But Jack wouldn't forgive me until I forgave myself.

"We never talk about it." I said. "I mean specifically. Like there's no words, I wouldn't know how." I didn't even know what I was trying to express to Charli right then, but I think she understood.

"Tell them everything and maybe you'll find the words..." Charli was hugging me, pulling us together. "...it's the last thing, maybe the only thing keeping you apart."

"I'm so scared." I clutched the woman, closing my eyes, wondering where all this was leading me.

"You should be." Charli kissed my cheek. "But if you respect your husband, if you want him to respect you..."

"I have to tell him, yes Ma'am." I nodded slowly, rubbing my cheek against the top of Charli's left breast. I could hear her heart beating softly in my ear and I wished mine were so strong and steady.

end Chapter 3



Respect Ch. 04



"There you are." My husband smiled as Charli and I rejoined them. He was standing with Charles and Paul, while Angela and Lisa sat together on the sofa talking.

"We were just forming a search party." Charles laughed.

"I was just cleaning up a bit, Master." I said to Jack, trying my best to smile for him.

"We're going to give Paul and Angie a ride home." My husband told me.

"If it's not too much trouble." Paul smiled.

Charli was holding my hand and she gave me a little squeeze. I seemed to remember something about Angela leaving her purse in their car, but then she'd also told me they took a taxi. Or had that been someone else? I was momentarily confused and caught of guard and my smile faltered for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Jack frowned a little and the other two men looked at me as well.

"Maybe you should just take her home, Jack." Paul said.

"No...No, I'm okay." I smiled and looked at them. "The baby was just kicking a little, that's all."

"Why don't you guys get the car and we'll keep an eye on your girls." Charli suggested, and after everyone agreed on that she led me to the sofa so we could sit down with Angela and Lisa. Charles joined us as well, getting comfortable in one of the arm chairs and calling Lisa over to sit on his lap.

"Doesn't it bother you?" I asked Charli softly, "I mean they look so close to each other."

Charles and Lisa looked very close. She had her arms around him, and their faces were close together, whispering and smiling and looking very much in love. If I hadn't known better I would have thought they were married.

"No." Charli smiled, taking no offense to my question. "They look good together."

"They look yummy together, you mean." Angela laughed.

"I don't know, I guess..." I sighed. I was sitting next to a woman who had given my husband a blow job, and then watched as I did the same with hers.

"Charles and I were looking for Lisa for a long time." Charli said seriously. "How long did we look for Lisa, darling?" She asked her husband.

"Lisa was busy divorcing her ex-husband." Angela whispered in my ear with a giggle. "Long story." I just gave her quick smile, finally realizing that these people probably knew each other very well.

"Hmmm? Oh, uh six years I guess...seven?" Charles shrugged and kissed Lisa on the lips. "Too long."

"Yeah, seven years I think." Charli nodded. "Since right after we were married."

"Why?" I asked, not really understanding at all.

"Well, we're both Dominant for one thing." Charli laughed. "We both want to be on top. And we wanted to share someone, and be with someone who could be shared. That's usually the hardest thing. Most people can't give themselves to more than one person, at least not permanently." She looked at her husband and Lisa, now kissing deeply, oblivious to everyone around them. "But she can." 

And it was obvious that the woman was in love with both of them and I couldn't even imagine that. All I wanted to do was devote myself to my husband. I could never share him, not like that.

"I couldn't do it." Angela chuckled. "I'd kill my husband if he ever looked at another woman the way he looks at me."

I glanced at her, swallowing hard and wondering whether or not she really did know Paul had fucked me. "But you...I heard, um...You have an open relationship." I looked at Charli who was nodding. "Right?"

"Yeah, we do." Angela smiled. "But that's just sex. I mean there's sex, and..." she shrugged "...that's nothing really. And then there's friends, like you guys. And I'd never get jealous of a friend." She was looking into my eyes and I was afraid to look away. "And then there's me."

"And there's only one of you, Angela." Charli giggled.

"And there's only one of me, ma'am, damn right." Angela laughed too.

"I had sex with your husband." I said it before I even knew I was doing it, literally. It was as if I were voicing a thought that I'd meant to keep in my head, but hadn't and I winced, closing my eyes.

"Excuse me?" Angela asked, sounding confused and I realized that hse hadn't known anything. "Did you just say you and Paul...had sex?"

Everyone was looking, even Charles and Lisa had stopped kissing and just sat there. I hadn't picked a very good place, or a very good time to play true confession and I could feel my eyes growing wet. But I'd never been able to keep a secret, not one that made me feel guilty the way that one had. It was why I'd told my husband the same day I'd cheated on him, and now I was telling Paul's wife.

"He uh, seven months ago, I went to the clinic, where he works and somehow..." I was speaking so soft Angela had to lean close to hear me and I cleared my throat, glancing up. "I don't know why, or anything it just...happened."

"Shhh..." It's okay, sweetie." Charli was rubbing my shoulders and I really did have tears then.

"He hurt you, didn't he?" Angela asked quietly, or perhaps it wasn't a question, I couldn't be sure.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't..."

"That bastard." Angela reached out to touch my face and I jerked slightly, thinking at first she was going to hit me or something. "He knows better." She was stroking my skin and all I could do was look down.

"I'm sorry, Angela." I pressed my face against her hand.

"You're just a child, how old are you?" She lifted my chin gently, and I could see only concern on her face. It was like she was just now seeing me for the first time.

"Twenty one. I...I was twenty when..." I closed my eyes. "...when we did it."

"He knows better." Angela glanced over my shoulder at Charli. "Just another notch. He couldn't even remember her name. What an ass."

"There's more." Charli said, and I think she was talking to me as much as Angela.

"More?" She narrowed her eyes while I took a deep breath.

I didn't want to go on, but Charli seemed to think I should tell Angela everything. I was so frightened right then, I mean she seemed pretty angry with her husband already, but I was a little confused by it. I guess the sex part didn't bother her as much as the who part, but she hadn't even known me. But maybe she just knew my type. Young and inexperienced, probably very easy prey for Paul. I sensed that Angela was simply angry because her husband had such little respect for what had happened to me after he'd finished fucking me. It made me wonder if this hadn't happened before with some other girl.

But now I was about to tell Angela that my baby was actually mine and Paul's. That her husband had a child coming and I hadn't really considered what all of that might mean. I'd spent seven months alone with it growing inside me. It had been mine and mine alone for so long, it just hadn't occurred to me that it didn't only belong to me anymore...or once I told him about it, at least. Then it would be ours. It would have parents, a mother and a father. I felt dizzy and my stomach churned as I tried to understand what all that meant while Angela waited impatiently, her fingers still on my face.

"We had sex seven months ago." I said, slowly repeating what I'd told her before. I was looking into her bright green eyes, but there was only confusion there. She didn't really understand until I looked down, bringing my hands to my stomach.

"You mean..." Her eyes got wide and then she was looking down too. "Your baby is...Paul's?"

I nodded, feeling as if I might cry again and Angela's hand fell away from my face slowly. Nobody was saying anything and I just sat there, holding my swollen stomach, feeling it warm and alive beneath the thin latex that covered it. I was bracing myself, waiting for the explosion I felt was certain to come. She must have been angry now, and not just with her husband. How could I have let myself get pregnant? She'd ask me that and I'd have no answer. And then she might ask why I was carrying it to term, and again there would be nothing I could say.

"Lisa's husband doesn't know who the father is." Charli said.

"Mmmm...I'd guess not. They're like bestest friends now." Angela said sarcastically. "And you never told Paul?"

"No." I said, shaking my head. "I...I'm sorry." It was all I could say, and I'd said it so many times over the last seven months I'd begun to wonder what it really meant. Or if I really meant it. But of course I did, now more than ever.

"You don't have to be sorry. Look at me." Angela tilted my head again, forcing me to open my eyes with her voice. "It takes two to tango, I know, but he should have known better, believe me. He can be pretty charming though, can't he?" She was trying to get me to smile, or at least relax, but I was too nervous, too worn out from trying to deal with all of the emotions in my head.

"He's seriously charming." Charli agreed, giving my shoulders a little squeeze. "That's his problem. He gets away with too much."

"Well, he's not going to get away with this." Angela said. "Don't worry, I'll talk to him, and Jack too. You must have been worried sick over this!" She was hugging me, putting her arms around me and holding me close and I almost started to think everything might be okay somehow. Angela would tell them everything and...

"You can't tell them." Charli said. "Lisa has to."

"What? Why?" Angela pulled away slightly and I turned my head, wondering the same thing.

"Because it's her baby, for one thing." Charli gave us a little look, like that was obvious. "And for another, she needs to confess. Jack needs to hear it from her and understand that she's sorry. If you try and get her off the hook, it'll always be there between them."

"But..." Angela started to protest but Charli cut her off.

"You can't do it. You can't apologize for Lisa and you can't make everything right by protecting her. It's between her and Jack and Paul."

"I'm married to Paul." Angela said. "He's my husband, this is his baby."

"I'm just telling you that Lisa has to break the news. It's what she's been waiting seven months for and after that..." Charli shrugged. "...you can say whatever you want."

"Do you want me to tell them, Lisa?" Angela asked me.

She'd heard what Charli had been saying, but I don't think she understood what I'd been going through, not the way Charli did. Angela wasn't exactly impartial and that changed things maybe. She was sympathetic with me, and I was very grateful for that. Perhaps she'd been in a situation similar to mine, I had no idea. Or maybe Paul had placed her in this same position before, it certainly seemed possible, given her reaction.

"Charles, maybe you and Lisa could wait in the foyer in case the boys show up. We might be here for awhile." Charli told her husband.

"Sure, babe." Charles nodded, and Lisa hopped off of him. "We'll wait in the elevator."

"The elevator?" Lisa giggled. "Why, Master?"

"I've never done it in an elevator." Charles shrugged. "Have you?

"Mistress told me not to tell you!" Lisa grinned at Charli.

"Traitor." Charli laughed.

"Somebody's gonna get a spanking later." Charles said, leading Lisa out of the room. "I can feel it."

"You mean I can feel it!" Lisa laughed and then they were gone.

I was smiling despite myself, almost forgetting everything in their pleasure, but Angela's hand on my thigh reminded me that she was waiting for an answer. I wanted her to tell them, my husband and Paul, and save me from having to face them. But I had to agree with Charli, it was my baby and my problem, really. Not Angela's. She was Paul's wife, true, but it only involved her in an abstract way, at least for the moment. It seemed completely out of control, really, and I really wished I hadn't said anything to her.

"No, I have to do it." I sucked my lower lip for a second. "I have to tell them, or...I don't know. My husband has to hear it from me, I think."

"I want to be there, though." Angela told me and I nodded. I wouldn't mind having her there, I figured I'd need all the support I could get, and apparently Angela was on my side. I just didn't understand why.

We were quiet for a little while. I tried to imagine the different things my husband might say, how he might react. I didn't think he'd punch Paul in the nose, but he might. Or he might hit me, but I seriously doubted that. He'd be unhappy though, I knew that much. We'd gone almost 3 months without talking, and spent the last four growing gradually closer. But I sensed our relationship was still fragile and I was about to test the delicate balance we'd struck.

"What are you going to do with the baby?" Angela asked me.

"Jack doesn't want it." I said, making a small gesture of resignation. "I was going to get an abortion, but I couldn't. It's my baby, so..." I looked down at my tummy, "...I'm going to give it up for adoption."

"Adoption?" Charli shook her head sadly. "We adopted a little boy last year, Mason. He's going to be four next month."

"I..." Angela started talking, then stopped, narrowing her eyes like she was focusing on something far away. "I didn't really have a miscarriage. It was an abortion."

We were quiet for a minute, just watching Angela.

"I was 16 and this guy, some guy I thought I loved, he uh...I got pregnant. And I looked for him, you know, and he was gone. Just like that. Took off and so I..." She looked at us finally and her eyes were wet. "Heh...You'd think I'd cried enough over this." She wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I went to get an abortion but it didn't work too good and...I dunno, it didn't work and he was gone and..."

I hugged her, not saying anything, just pulling the woman close. Charli moved as well, getting up and sitting on the other side of Angela, so we could hold her between us.

"It was my first time." She took a ragged breath. "We did it once and I was pregnant." Angela looked at me. "God, what I wouldn't give to have my baby back."

"What happened?" I asked softly.

"He died." Angela nodded, not really looking at anything anymore. Her eyes were almost vacant. "Inside me. I was bleeding and he came out and I couldn't have kids anymore. I was sixteen." She turned her head, looking at Charli. "But that's what I deserve, right? For killing my baby? It's fair, right?"

"Oh, Angie." Charli sighed and there was nothing more we could say.

I understood then that Angela was in a far darker place than I was. All I needed was my husband's forgiveness and I was saved. I'd be free from my guilt and able to respect myself again. To love myself. But Angela, who was going to forgive her? God? Maybe, but if He had, Angie didn't know it. Her dead baby? There was no one else, or so it seemed anyway. She had to forgive herself, that was clear, but she was like me. She needed someone to show her how, to lead her out of that cold dark place she'd been in for nearly half of her life.

I didn't understand all of it, or how it affected her, or what it meant in terms of her interest in BDSM and open marriage and whatever. I was still too new to all of this. It would take a psychiatrist, I thought, or a psychologist like her husband, and that thought gave me some hope. It seemed obvious to me that Paul loved his wife and so I felt equally sure he must be trying to help her with this. But he was a man, and he'd come after the fact, and he had his own wants and desires as well. Like having sex with me, which seemed totally at odds with a man who might have sympathy for Angela's experience. But what did I know anyway?

I knew what I had to do.

"I want you to have my baby." I told Angela, holding her hands in mine, feeling sure about a decision for the first time in a long time. A very long time. "It's Paul's baby too and I can't keep it. I want you to be the mother of my child."

"What?" Angela looked at me with tortured eyes. "Didn't you hear what I said? I killed my baby..."

"I forgive you." I said. "I trust you. Please, I want you to do this. Do it for my baby, for yourself, Angela. There's a reason for this, for all of this..."

I could see it in her face, the desperation to believe me. She was looking for it so hard, the miracle I thought I could see, but was afraid to voice. This couldn't be coincidence, could it? All of this, my pregnancy, Paul being the father, my husband's reaction leading us here to find Angela. It wasn't an accident, it was a sign, or so I wanted to believe. It was God finally forgiving her. She only had to say yes.

But she was so far gone. So deep in that hole, I just didn't know.

"It wasn't your fault, Angie." Charli whispered. "You were just sixteen. You can't blame yourself."

"It's your baby." I told her, my voice stronger. "Yours now, please say yes. Please, Angela."

"I'm afraid..." Angela squeezed my hands tightly.

"It's okay..." Charli stroked Angela's shoulders, whispering in her ear.

"It's okay to be scared. I am too." I said. "Here...feel this." I brought Angela's hands to my tummy, the baby was awake again, and restless. "Do you feel it? Can you feel it moving? It's alive, Angela...It needs a mother. I can't do it."

"I feel it." Angela was crying again, although she'd never really stopped.

"Wait..." I had an even better idea. "Unzip me."

I turned around and Charli reached around Angela, pulling the zipper down. I stood up, reaching with my arms to pull the neck over my head, the material stretching as I did so until my shoulders slipped out of the back. I pulled my hands through, getting caught on my left glove for a moment in my haste, but it was a little thing and I soon had the rubber bodysuit down around my knees and thighs.

"Touch me now." I said, setting down on the sofa, naked from mid-thigh up and wishing I could have taken off everything, but I didn't want to spend the time on my boots.

I felt Angela's hands, soft and warm and tentative, barely brushing my smooth round tummy with her fingertips. I just lay back, watching her, letting her explore my body. There was nothing else I could say to her, I knew, this was my last argument before Angela would decide if she was forgiven or not.

I sighed as Angela's hands became stronger. She pressed her palms to my belly, sliding across my skin and smiling as she felt the baby hidden inside me. Charli was still behind her, playing her fingers across Angela's shoulders and lightly down her arms to the elbows and back up. She was rubbing her breasts against Angela's back, keeping the girl close, adding to the intimacy of the moment. We were all alone in that room, which may as well have been the world entire. 

"Try listening." I suggested and shifted my body slightly, frowning at my legs.

"Need help?" Charli smiled, ever aware of what we were thinking it seemed, and she slipped down to the floor so she could undo the laces of my boots.

I smiled back, bringing my hands to Angela's long red hair as she laid her cheek on my stomach, holding her breath I think as she listened. Every now and then she'd glance up at me, smiling child-like and moving her hands along the sides of my waist, caressing me. It was so pleasant like that, holding her and being held, sharing the baby inside me.

Charli had undone my leather boots and helped free me from the confines of the bodysuit. She stroked my legs and I arranged myself slowly, Angela moving so that she was lying between my spread legs, on her stomach with her cheek still against my skin. She didn't resist bit only sighed gratefully as Charli began undressing her, removing Angela's silk blouse and then her skirt, sliding it down the woman's long legs.

"I heard it, I think." Angela said softly, kissing my tummy. "It's so beautiful."

"You're beautiful." I replied, brushing Angela's hair out of her eyes. "It's your baby." I prayed that she would accept that and not refuse my assertion.

"My baby." She lifted her face, licking her lips nervously perhaps. "My baby..." She took a sharp breath, nodding her head and I let out the breath I was holding, accepting Angela eagerly as she moved carefully along my body, holding herself above so that we could kiss.




Respect Ch. 04



I had my arms around her, feeling Angela's flat stomach against the fullness of mine, her breasts hanging down so that her hardening nipples grazed across my breasts. Her silky red hair fell around us like a shimmering veil and we kissed, gently at first, and then harder. Angela's tongue entered my mouth and I felt as if a flood had suddenly been released. The tension fell away, the crises of the moment finally passed, and all that remained was the desire to be close with each other. I wanted to give myself to the woman completely, this was her body now, I thought, both of us sharing the child inside me until she could hold it in her arms.

I was pulling Angela down and she was resisting. "It's okay," I breathed. "You won't break me."

"But the baby..."

"Its fine, everything's perfect." I promised and Angela finally let herself go, her body pressing down on me, but not unpleasantly. She wasn't very heavy at all and I liked the way she felt against my stomach.

We kissed again, deeply with our tongues exploring each other's mouths. I bit and nibbled her lips, breathing her soft moans deep into my flushed body. My nipples were hard and burning as they pressed against Angela's, and we were moving deliberately to feel the gentle friction of flesh on flesh.

"Mmmm..." I sighed as Angela moved her mouth down, licking and kissing at my neck and lower until she found my breasts with her mouth. She held them in her hands, squeezing my swollen tits in her hands and moving her kisses from one to the other and back. It was a wonderful torture as she'd tongue my turgid nipples for a moment and then suck it between her lips, chewing my plump swollen flesh for half a minute, until it just got really good, and then she'd switch. I was quivering from that delicious torment, and begging her to settle in one place, but she would giggle and move her mouth again.

I caught Charli out of the corner of my eye and she was content to watch us, sitting in one of the chairs with her long pale legs spread over the arms. She'd removed her panties and played with her sex, stroking her clit and occasionally slipping a long slender finger between her folds, pumping in and out for a few moments before pulling free, She smiled at me, nodding her head and I think she was as happy with the unexpected events of this evening as I was.

"I want to eat you." Angela said softly, looking up at me.

"I've never been with a woman." I laughed. My heart was beating rapidly and I was panting for air just from the girl's attentions to my breasts.

"I'll be gentle." Angela giggled and then I felt her hand between my thighs, touching me lightly at first, exploring my vulva while she kissed my tummy.

I shuddered with pleasure at Angela's touch. It had been 7 months since anyone had touched me there with anything approaching gentleness. My husband had touched me, during one of our scenes, and occasionally at home, but only to spank my pussy, or put clamps on my labia, punishing my sex for betraying him. Now I was being loved, my sex caressed and soothed by Angela's knowing fingers. Whether it was because she was experienced, or merely because she was a woman, I didn't know, but she was making me feel better than any man had ever done. 

"Hsss..." I sucked air between my teeth as Angela penetrated me finally. Her mouth was low on my tummy, very close to my sex, and she'd pushed a finger inside me, marveling at how tight I was inside.

"I haven't had sex in seven months." I giggled breathlessly, lifting my hips as much as I was able, trying to fuck myself on her finger as it wriggled inside me. It felt much larger than it was and I'd missed that feeling, the unpredictable pleasure of someone else inside my sex.

I rubbed my tummy, closing my eyes and arching my back as Angela's mouth finally found my pussy. I'd had oral sex before, but not often and it hadn't really been all that good. I remember how I'd wondered what all the fuss was about; now I knew. Angela's tongue played around my clit at first, avoiding it and making my hips shake with anticipation. My clitoris was hard and full, burning with desire and she just went around it slowly, her finger twisting and curling inside me.

"Ohhh my...my...." I was gasping when the girl finally relented, flicking the tip of her tongue across my clit suddenly, and then again, quickly until I could barely stand it and I was cumming. She sucked my clit between her lips like a tiny cock, pinching it gently and all I could do was press my thighs against her, lifting my hips and moaning loudly as my senses were stolen with the pleasure she was giving me.

I must have cum 3 or 4 times at least, one after another so that they blur together in memory. One long orgasm that left me bathed in sweat and unable to breathe. All I could do was whisper barely coherent words of thanks and praise while I stroked her hair. Angela made her way back up slowly, sliding her body gently over mine until I could kiss her, tasting myself on her lips and tongue. 

"We're going to do this a lot." She promised me and I just smiled.

"You're going to be a mommy." I told her and I had the intense pleasure of watching her features change, from the sexual passion we'd shared to something else, deeply personal and filled with emotion.

"A mommy." She sighed and we kissed again.

It was getting late and it was only with reluctance that we dressed slowly. Charles had returned, without Lisa.

"Well, we had to find some way to keep Paul and Jack busy." He grinned. "They're in the bedroom with her."

"The bedroom?" I asked Angela and she laughed, pulling up her skirt.

"You let them take her to the bedroom?" Charli shook her head with a giggle. "She'll eat them alive. You should have found someplace else."

"It's the Safe Room, no BDSM allowed in there." Angela grinned at me. "Just sex. It doesn't get used as much as you might think."

"I didn't let them do anything, it was her idea." Charles told Charli with a laugh. "But the other rooms are being used. Anyway, looks like you girls sorted everything out." He smiled at us and Angela nodded.

"Yes we did, thank you, Sir." Angela gave him a happy look.

"Anytime, but I don't think your husbands are gonna be of much use for a couple days. Lisa can be a little..." Charles looked to his wife for help. "What's the word?"

"Insatiable." Charli laughed.

We left the room together, Charles and Charli to retrieve their pet, Angela and I to save our husbands from her reputed appetite. We'd be going to Angela and Paul's house and I knew I'd tell the two men once we got there that the baby in my tummy was Paul's. And while they decided what to do about that, Angela would tell them that she and her husband were going to adopt it. Whatever issues remained after that would be their problem, not ours. Angela and I had already decided that, and after what we'd gone through that evening, wrestling with our guilt and fear, dealing with Jack and Paul was going to be easy.

For my part, it would be a lie to say I felt no reluctance at giving up my baby, but I was comforted by the fact that it was the correct thing to do. It would reconcile me with my husband, but more importantly it would give Angela back a portion of her life that she'd lost as little more than a child. I'd suffered for seven months, never knowing where that path would end, but only hoping for my own redemption in the eyes of my husband. But now I'd found so much more than that, and once my husband understood what had happened and how, and perhaps even the miracle of why, I knew I'd regain his love and respect.

And I was determined never to lose it again. 

The bedroom really was just a bedroom. A large one to be sure and nicely furnished, but in essence like any master bedroom you could imagine. Except that I didn't usually imagine my husband fucking a Girl Scout in my bedroom at home.

The room was what they called the 'Safe Room' or the 'Haven' sometimes, but usually just the bedroom, and it was the one room inside the club where Master/slave rules were waived completely. There were no scenes allowed, not even by mutual consent. It was most often used by couples or Unions as they were called, to resolve any problems that might have arisen from misunderstanding or disagreement. It was a meeting place of equals in a club that otherwise recognized equality on purely an abstract level. It said as much for the club's selection process as the quality of its membership that the room was only rarely required for its original intent.

Jack was on his back with Lisa straddling his hips, my husband's hard penis pushed deeply inside the girl's pussy. He was naked completely, and flushed with the excited effort of fucking her and I felt a momentary stab of jealousy. It had been a very long time since he'd taken me that way and I thought I could feel the emptiness between my thighs.

Lisa was still dressed, although looking rather disheveled as her blouse hung open and loose, her skirt bunched around her waist, and her knee high socks askew around her ankles. She was noisy, groaning and urging the men on. Paul, was behind her, pushing his large cock into Lisa's ass, giving the girl a double penetration that I'd only heard about really, and never imagined I'd actually witness.

The girl was sandwiched between the two handsome men, kissing my husband occasionally, but mostly just tilting her youthful pretty face towards the mirrored ceiling and crying out. I didn't even want to think about trying to take Paul's cock in my ass, my husband was a good size for it, but Paul...I gave a small shudder and watched with rapt attention. Lisa was plainly enjoying it, and even trying to push herself back on the two men as she was stretched to the limit I was sure.

We were all in the bedroom, Angela and I, with Charli and Charles, watching our husbands and pet. They knew we were there, of course and all three of the people on the bed had looked at us, however briefly and offered smiles and grunted gasping words of greeting. My husband especially was watching me, pressing into my namesake with his cock, fucking her while he watched me. Another punishment, perhaps, or was he thinking of me that way? I liked to imagine he was missing me right then, and wishing it were me instead of that other girl he was fucking. But I couldn't know.

"Do you need a little something, dear?" Charli was whispering to her husband, rubbing the bulge in his trousers.

I'd sat down in a plush Queen Ann chair, turning it slightly to get a better view, and Angela had sat down on the carpet between my legs, rubbing my thighs gently. The jealousy had passed, and that was as sure a sign as any that I was changing, or already changed I suppose. My husband was fucking another woman and it made me feel...I don't know, confused, a little. Mostly because I thought I'd be angry or something, but I wasn't. I wasn't ecstatic either, by any means, it was more acceptance really. I even found myself enjoying it because they were so beautiful like that and it was an exciting penetration. This was new for me, once again and like so many other experiences I'd had so quickly.

"Would you mind, Lisa?" Charli was looking down at me, standing next to her husband and they were both smiling. "I think he's wanted you all night."

I blinked at them and I think I even blushed for a moment as the woman's words caught me by surprise. They shouldn't have though, not after everything else. This was casual sex, the very definition of it and I'd entered the place willingly, side-by-side with my husband. Why should I be surprised that Charles wanted me and even more, he and his wife had no reluctance asking me if I'd be willing.

"Go for it." Angela giggled and gave my thigh a little slap.

"Uh, okay." I swallowed, glancing at my husband and thinking he couldn't really object, could he? It was all rather surreal.

I didn't even have to move, Charles just wanted me to suck his cock, that was all and he was tall enough that all I had to do was lean forward a little, not very much at all. Angela moved to the side and Charli was unzipping her husband's pants, pulling his large semi-hard cock free and stroking it in front of my face.

"Go on..." Charli breathed. "...suck him for me..." She was as excited as any of us, I realized, and I felt the heat rising inside me. Having a woman I barely knew feed me her husband's penis was beyond anything life had prepared me for. 

I kissed the tip and then parted my lips, allowing Charli to rub her husband's cockhead around my mouth, teasing me with it. Angela's hand had crept between my legs, insisting that I spread them as much as I was able to she could play with my latex covered sex. I felt Charli's right hand on the back of my head, not pushing, just caressing me, holding me in place while I licked and kissed at the penis in front of me.

"Kiss my balls, warm them up for me..." Charles said, and then Charli did give me a little pull, bringing my mouth down to his soft sack while she rubbed the length of his penis over my face.

He wasn't overly large, not like Paul, and his cock looked much the same as my husband's in size and shape. He tasted different however, his skin as I took his balls in my mouth one at a time, washing them modestly and taking my time. He smelled different as well, and not unpleasant at all. It was a sweet smell, vaguely feminine, but he wasn't anything but a real man. All of them were, Charles, Paul, and my husband. They shared that same quality of knowing what they wanted and not being afraid to get it. Charles was simply more subtle than the others, Paul the impetuous and aggressive, and my husband somewhere in the middle I suspected. It was aspect of human nature I'd never appreciated before.

"Mmm...That's good...good girl..." Charles murmured and I glanced up, showing him my eyes as his cock throbbed against my cheek.

"She's so beautiful." Charli agreed. "I love watching her suck your cock." She kissed her husband deeply as I took his cockhead in my mouth finally.

Angela was rubbing me all the while as well, and it was making me feel good. I was moving my ass, just a little, pressing myself to her fingers as she rubbed me through the thin material covering my sex. It was such a tease like that and I'd learned to love and hate the outfit my husband had bought. It allowed pleasure without direct contact or penetration, and it was bringing my lust to a boil.

I moved my mouth up and down Charles' cock, and Charli was my hand, holding him steady and pumping him in time with my lips until I was ready to take all of him. I pushed myself down easily, feeling his swollen member filling me and then pressing for entrance to my throat. I swallowed around him, holding myself open so that the head pushed into the confines of my throat and it was a perfect fit, much as my husband's cock always seemed to be.

"Ohhh...yes....that's it, honey..." Charles pushed out with his hips a little, but he was already as far inside my hungry mouth as he was going to get.

"God, that looks so hot...Hold him there, Lisa..." Charli breathed, pressing against the back of my head, keeping her husband's cock in my throat while I held my breath as long as I could.

"I'm going to cum...Uh fuck..." I was vaguely aware of my husband's voice coming from the bed, but I could see nothing of course. My nose was in Charles' pubic hair, his balls against my chin.

"Not yet...Uhhh please...naaah...not yet..." Lisa was begging loudly, wanting my husband to wait while Paul continued to fuck her ass hard. She wanted them to cum together I think, or maybe she was just really close herself, but it had seemed like she'd been cumming non-stop since before we'd entered the room.

Angela was kissing my thigh, biting me through the rubbery material, and rubbing my cunt hard. I was wet and puffy down there, my sex contracting with little spasms of desire. I rocked my hips and held my tummy, massaging the great round swell of my body as I pulled my mouth slowly off Charles' cock, drinking cool air as spit and precum fell from my lips, falling on my stomach and I spread the wetness with my fingers.

"Almost there...Ugh...yeah...fuck it baby...make me cum..." Paul was grunting now as well, pumping the girl sandwiched between him and my husband. They were all close and it was almost impossible to distinguish their passionate moans of pleasure. 

I returned to the penis in front of me, Charli helping me with her hands, working my mouth into an easy rhythm, up and down while my tongue worked the underside of Charles' cock. I sucked him hard, making loud wet noises as the seal of my lips was broken every few seconds. I swallowed the juices filling my mouth quickly. My husband was cumming, he was groaning loudly and Lisa was giving high pitched yelps as she joined him. A moment later Paul told everyone that he was cumming as well, filling the girl's ass with his semen.

The sounds filled my ears, even as the taste and smell and texture of Charles and his wife filled my other senses. I was pressing myself against Angela's fingers, feeling my own orgasm impending. My body burned inside and out, my lungs labored and my baby kicked in protest as I shook with pleasure. I felt Charli's fingers digging in my hair, the knot that I'd pinned up coming loose and undone. She held my head steady and pulled her husband's cock from my lips, stroking him quickly while he moaned encouragement.

He was close, Charles was going to cum and his wife jerked him off over my open mouth. I was lost to anything but that desire to taste him, to feel his hot cum washing over my skin. I was fucking myself against Angela's hand while she bit my thigh almost painfully. I was dimly aware of her own whimpering beneath me and I understood that she'd been rubbing her own sex in time with mine, bringing us both to climax together.

"Ugh...here...it...cums!" Charles' groaned, arching his back slightly as Charli's hand moved quickly up and down his glistening wet shaft. She was breathing hard and gave a sudden gasp of delight when her husband's cock seemed to contract for just a split second and then expand in the woman's hand. Heavy spurts of milky semen flew from the tip, three or four jets in rapid succession laying thin white lines of sperm across my cheeks and nose and mouth, all the way to forehead. Some went in my eye with a slight burning sensation, but barely noticed as Charli brought my mouth to her husband's cock once more.

I was cumming, even as I took Charles' ejaculating penis in my mouth, sucking and tasting his cum as it filled my mouth. I was shuddering and moaning, clutching my tummy as Angela brought my charged clit to screaming life. It was all too sensitive suddenly, as if struck by lightning and I jerked my body like I might get away, but that was a myth. I was lost in it completely, nursing on the cock in my mouth instinctively while my senses were overwhelmed with the pure physical joy of my orgasm.

Angela too was cumming I think, and perhaps even Charli, who was kissing her husband even as she milked his penis for every drop of sperm. It was all wildly wicked and delicious and I'd swallowed some of Charles' sperm, but I'd had sense enough to save some as well, and as I was coming down from that glorious high Angela had given me, she was there, embracing me and accepting my spermy kiss.

"That was good." Charles said in his understated fashion. "Really good."

"I could tell." Charli giggled and they stood there watching as Angela licked my face clean.

"Three times isn't enough?" I heard my husband's happily teasing voice, but he did sound a little worn out.

"Awww...There's still a little life here!" Lisa was sucking my husband's cock, trying to coax another erection out of him. At the same time she stroked Paul's flaccid cock, glancing at it expectantly. The two men were lying side by side on the bed, making faces and it was sort of cute.




Respect Ch. 04



"We better take her home." Charles laughed and his wife nodded.

"Come on, Pet...before you break something." Charli slapped her thigh as if she was calling a dog and Lisa just laughed, pulling her mouth away from Jack's penis with a soft wet plop.

"See you guys later." She kissed them both and slipped off the bed, joining her two owners with kisses and hugs as they left the room, closing the door behind them with a loud snick.

"You think this is a good time?" I asked Angela quietly and she shrugged.

"Maybe. They're relaxed anyway." She giggled, but it was a nervous sound.

"What are you two whispering about?" Paul asked with a good natured smile.

"If they want sex..." My husband sighed theatrically, "Call me next week. Jesus that girl was crazy."

"No shit." Paul nodded and it was clear that our husband's had taken a friendly liking to each other.

I could almost put my worries behind me, all the uncertainties and fears I'd been contemplating for much too long. I had to tell the two men about my baby and who the father was, and that made me nervous, but after going through what I had with Angela, after hearing her story, my own pain and doubts seemed much less than I'd made them out to be. I'd suffered with guilt and remorse and begged forgiveness for seven months. Angela had suffered much worse since she'd been sixteen. Compared to that, this was going to be easy, I thought, however it turned out.

But I was still scared as hell.

"I uh, I have to tell you guys something." I said, standing slowly and leaving Angela to sit on the floor behind me as I approached the bed.

"Okay." My husband shrugged. "Both of us?"

"Yeah." I swallowed hard and looked down, the way I was accustomed to, but I didn't want that. I forced myself to look at them, taking a ragged breath.

"It's okay." Angela said softly, reminding me that I wasn't alone.

"It's about my baby...ummm..." I touched my stomach, feeling myself still hot inside.

"Alright." My husband said slowly, sitting up a little.

"Paul..." I glanced at him and found it to be more than a glance, I couldn't look away. "Paul's the father of my baby."

"Wha..." My husband started.

"He's the man I had sex with." I looked at my husband and this time I did lower my eyes, looking down at my swollen tummy, stroking it with my fingers. "It's his child."

"Are you sure?" Paul asked, like he couldn't believe me for some reason.

"Shut-up, Paul." Angela said loudly.

"You think she's lying?" My husband said it sarcastically, like he couldn't believe Paul would ask a question like that.

"No, I just..." he looked at my husband. "Well, somebody had to ask." He flashed his charming smile, but I didn't think that was going to help.

"It's yours." I said, looking at him. "You're the only one I..." I licked my lips, glancing at my husband. "The only one I did it with."

"Is that it?" My husband asked me.

I didn't understand what he meant. Wasn't that enough? I had been expecting him to be a little more emotional, or something. Maybe yell at me, or Paul probably. Didn't he have anything to say to the man who'd gotten me pregnant? Jack was just sitting there on the bed, and right next to him was Paul, as if they were lovers or something, both of them naked, still a little flushed from fucking Lisa. It was surreal and confusing. My husband had never reacted the way I'd expected, ever since the beginning.

"Uh, there's more." I admitted slowly. "I'm...you know I'm giving up the baby, I have to." I was talking to myself as much as anyone, feeling a stab of reluctance, but knowing I had no choice.

"I'm going to adopt Lisa's baby." Angela said, squeezing my shoulders gently. "We're going to adopt it." She said to her husband.

"Are you sure?" Paul asked, imitating his question to me, but this time his voice was soft and generous with love.

"Yeah." Angela nodded, giving him a smile. "I am."

"Oh, Angie..." Paul started to rise from the bed.

"Don't..." Angela held up her hand. "I'm going to be mad at you for a long time I think. Don't spoil it, Paul. Just be quiet and get dressed."

"Mad?" Paul asked, but he was doing as he was told, looking around for his pants.

"She was just a kid, Paul. You should have known better." Angela was shaking her head. "And without any protection? What did you think was going to happen?"

"I thought she was playing..." Paul shrugged. "I mean, yeah, okay, she's a kid, she didn't have a clue what she wanted, but we get a lot of strange women, honey, you know that..."

"Don't honey me." Angela shook her head. "You're shirt's over there."

"I thought it was like a fantasy thing..." Paul glanced at my husband who was just sitting there listening, the same way I was. "She wasn't going to castrate Jack, believe me. She was just looking for rationalization. I see it all the time, Angie. Women need an excuse..."

"And men don't, yeah, we know." Angela said sarcastically. "Get your socks, it's going to be cold on the couch."

"Angie..." Paul pouted a little and looked at me. "I'm sorry, Lisa, I really am."

And that was the first time he told me he was sorry, and really the first time I even thought about it. I guess he did owe me one, but Angela had been right, it did take two to tango, so I wasn't comfortable with him taking all the blame. Before I could say anything though, Angela was hurrying him along.

"Yeah, very sorry...Come on, doctor, you're lucky she doesn't sue you for malpractice." Angela gave me a little smile and a hug and then a kiss. "Talk to your husband, it'll be okay." But I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. I don't think she'd expected my husband's subdued reaction any more than I had.

"Bye." I kissed her one more time and she gave my tummy a little pat.

"Uh, bye Lisa." Paul looked at me, still apologetic. "Jack..." he gave my husband a wan smile.

"Paul." My husband nodded, neither smiling nor frowning.

Two minutes later we were alone, my husband and I, in a bedroom that belonged to no one at all. 

"What are you thinking?" I asked, desperately wanting some clarity for the first time in seven months. I was tired of being confused and afraid all the time, why couldn't he just tell me what he wanted?

"I think you need to meet our sponsors." Jack shrugged. "Sit down."

"What?" I stared at him, trying to decipher what that meant. It made no sense at all and I thought perhaps I hadn't heard him correctly, but I knew I had.

"Paul will send them in." Jack was almost smiling and that bothered me more than anything else. "Just sit down, you'll see."

"Paul? What?" I did sit down, mechanically and without thinking. My mind was trying to understand, but there just wasn't enough information.

The door opened a few minutes later.

"Clarice?" I stood up, suddenly so surprised I thought I was going to have my baby on the spot. "James?"

The woman, whom I hadn't seen in more than seven months, was walking into the room, smiling. She was dressed nicely, as if she were attending a formal dinner or something, with a black strapless dress and her hair done beautifully. She was older, but a very attractive woman and her confidence was tangible, as always. The only thing truly out of place, in my opinion, was the leather riding crop she was carrying.

And her husband, James, was dressed the opposite from how I'd ever seen him, let alone imagined him. He was wearing black women's stockings and leather high heels, with a garter belt of black lace. His soft cock hung down, but it was obvious he had no balls. His body was smooth and hairless where his scrotum should have been. He had clamps on his nipples, like alligator clips, and a chain ran loosely between them. Around his neck he wore a stainless steel choker.

"Lisa." The woman smiled and crossed the room, "How are you dear?"

"Hello Jim." My husband gave James a little nod and they spoke about something, but I was too busy staring at Clarice to notice.

"What are you doing here?" I didn't know what to say or think. This was the woman who'd suggested I castrate my husband. She was the one who'd gotten me into this mess.

"I'm one of the board members." Clarice smiled and she was enjoying my confusion, I could tell. "How do you like the club?"

"I don't understand." I looked past her at my husband. "Jack? What's going on?"

"Uh, well..." He smiled at me. "I have a confession to make."

"Oh, let me! I've been waiting so long." Clarice laughed lightly. "Jack was one of my lovers, dear. I'm sorry to have to tell you that, but it's true..."

"When?" I stared at my husband.

"After we were married...a few months." Jack cleared his throat.

"I'm afraid I was the reason for his lack of..." She glanced over her shoulder, "...interest? Or maybe just ability is a better word."

"Well, I think that was Roselyn, actually." James suggested with a smile.

"Who's Roselyn?" I blinked, trying to understand. I had more important questions in my head than that one, but that was the one that came out. I sat back down slowly.

"She's one of Clarice's girls..." My husband started saying.

"One of my little subbies. You met her once, I believe." Clarice laughed. "Once Jack discovered his Dominant side, well, there was just no going back, you see."

I didn't see. I didn't see at all. But I did finally remember Roselyn, the Hispanic girl I'd met briefly at Clarice's house. But I didn't she what she had to do with any of this.

"I was cheating on you." Jack admitted. "With Clarice, and another woman, a submissive."

"Learning the ropes." James added drolly.

"You cheated...on me?" I felt like I was going to be sick.

"I didn't think you'd like it..." Jack was trying to explain, "...like this sort of thing. I wanted to tell you, to show you but..."

"He was worried, Lisa." Clarice said seriously. "First because he had cheated on you, and more because he didn't want to stop. Not because he loved me, or even Roselyn, you're the only one he loves, but he was convinced you'd never understand and your husband..." Clarice smiled and touched my shoulder, "...he does enjoy this so much."

"You could have told me." I felt my eyes growing wet. "All you had to do was say something!"

"He did say something." Clarice said gently. "To me and, well I had an idea."

"An idea?" I stared at her.

"I suggested Jack might find a way to convince you that you needed punishment, so to speak. I knew right away you were submissive, but a little repressed I think. A little too upright, you might say." Clarice chuckled. "I think you would have resisted Jack if he'd tried to introduce you to this lifestyle."

"It's always best when someone comes willingly." James said. "Perhaps we should ask Theresa to join us?"

"Willingly? Is that what you call this? So Paul...he was in on it?" I was starting to put it together, I thought. 

"Yeah, he...I met him a long time ago." My husband admitted.

"Who's Theresa?" I asked, feeling ever more confused and reacting slowly. This was all too much all at once.

"Doctor Lyons?" Clarice smiled. "You remember her, I'm sure."

"She's...here?" I stared at the woman.

"She's another one of the board members." James told me.

"Yes, she's here tonight, with her slave, Stacy." Clarice realized I didn't understand at all. "Nurse Ryan? She's Theresa's submissive."

"You were in on this? All of you?" I looked around the room. I felt as if my whole life had been a dream, an elaborate hoax. It hurt.

"Well, you needed a man." Clarice shrugged. "And Paul is a man, isn't he?" She sounded almost wistful. "I don't think any of us expected him to make you pregnant though."

"No, I don't think we did." My husband did frown at that, a little. "I never blamed you for that. I never blamed you for any of it."

"We just wanted you guilty and eager to please." Clarice was still touching me. "I do love you both so much and I just wanted to see you here, discovering what we have to offer."

"This is how you get members?" I almost laughed. It was unbelievable, all of this. "So you never meant anything about castrating Jack?"

"Castrating Jack?" Clarice laughed. "Good heavens no, my dear. I just wanted to get the idea in your head, and that was Jack's idea really."

I stared at my husband and he offered an ironic smile.

"You were always talking about Clarice." He shrugged. "Clarice this, Clarice that, whatever she said was gospel, so..." His eyes were filled with guilt. "I'm sorry, Lisa."

"So I mentioned castration." Clarice smiled at me. "Don't be too angry and don't be sad, it was a trick, yes. But we did it for you, dear. To bring you and your husband closer. Paul was happy to help, but of course we couldn't tell Angela, unfortunately. She is rather protective and she would have worried, I think."

"But...my baby..." I looked down, not knowing what I felt.

"That seems to have worked out especially well, don't you think?" James said, he was sitting on the bed now.

"Like I said, we didn't expect that, but once Paul found out well, it was just a matter of bringing you and Angela together at the right place and the right time." Clarice looked quite happy with herself.

"I wanted to tell you everything." My husband said, his voice filled with shame. "Months ago, but, I'm sorry...We had to keep going. For Angela."

"For Angela..." I squeezed my eyes shut.

"We needed to convince you to give up your child." Clarice said gently. "Your husband needed to convince you."

"You've saved her." James said, trying not to sound melodramatic. "She had so much fear and you've given her a reason to overcome it now. She'll have a child with her husband, one she can love and protect."

"You did that for her." Clarice nodded, lifting my chin. "You suffered for her, more than yourself. I know you're angry and confused, and I'm so sorry for that. We all are, but I hope you'll forgive us, Lisa. We all love you very much."

"I was dying inside." I looked at her, blinking back tears. "You should have told me."

"You were forgiven from the beginning, Lisa. Your husband never blamed you for any of it; in fact he's the one who needs your forgiveness. He's been waiting for seven months, worried and uncertain, dreading this day, but knowing it would come. He needs you now..."

My husband had come over to me, and now he knelt close as I sat there, struggling with my feelings. "I'm sorry, Lisa. I love you so much. Please forgive me, I only want you to be happy. I'll do anything to make it up to you, anything at all..."

I had suddenly found our positions reversed, and then I realized they'd been reversed all along. My husband had been the one suffering with the truth, knowing I would have to learn of this elaborate lie and uncertain of my reaction. He'd fought to hide his true feelings for me, trying to maintain his distance and I looked back over the months and recognized those moments when he'd failed. When he'd given me tenderness and love, for just a moment or two before catching himself. He'd never blamed me for anything, never been angry with me.

He's cheated on me though. Much more so than I had, and much sooner after our wedding. Within months it seemed, with Clarice and this other girl whom I didn't know. Because they'd been able to give him what I couldn't, not until now. I was remade by the experience, the hoax they'd played, so that I was the willing submissive that my husband required. And I'd suffered, yes, for my husband's purpose at first, and then later for Angela. I was giving up my child for a lie? That thought struck me hard and it seemed a cruel betrayal, far more so than anything else that had happened to me.

And now my husband was on his knees, begging forgiveness, yearning for my respect, just as I'd been doing for so long. Could I ever respect him again? Could I ever trust him, or Clarice, or anyone? I was suddenly the innocent and I wondered if my experience with guilt, imagined though it might have been, was going to be enough to guide me through the most difficult decisions of my life. Empathy was one thing, but where did the scales of justice truly balance?

"Anything?" I asked my husband softly.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I was huge, waddling through the kitchen a week away from my due date. I could barely sleep at night and I kept my husband up all hours, asking him to rub my legs, or massage my back, or just to talk to me. He was good about it, usually, and his sleepy complaints were good natured. Mostly because once I felt his hands on me, 9 months pregnant or not, I was instantly horny. It was like my sex drive had gone through the roof during this final month of my pregnancy.

Jack would hold me and kiss me and massage my breasts, which were swollen as well now, and already producing thin milky fluid. My breasts ached all the time and that was always good for me, being milked for lack of a better term. I could even talk Jack into nursing on my nipples occasionally, and that was almost enough to make me cum. The feel of his mouth on my breasts, sucking and nibbling gently while his fingers caressed my puffy sex...He brought me off quickly and I loved him for it.

"Here we are!" Angela was coming through the kitchen door, smiling and beautiful as ever. She'd cut her hair down to her shoulders, styling it with a French wave, and I gasped when I saw her.

"What did you do?" I let her embrace me, kissing me on the lips and I felt just the tip of her tongue teasing me.

"Do you like it?" She rolled her eyes upward as if she could see it. "I thought I'd try the mommy look, you know."

"Mmm..." I smiled. "I like it."

"Hey Angie." Jack walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. "Have you lost weight?"

"Oh you!" Angela laughed and raised her fist.

"You look great, give me a kiss." Jack grinned and I watched as she gave my husband a whole lot more tongue than she'd given me.

"Break it up you two." I laughed. "Pregnant woman coming through." I pushed between them. "Where's Paul?"

"Right here..." Angela's husband answered, coming through the door.

"And there he is...Come here; give your Aunt Lisa a kiss, big boy!" I bent down, taking a little breath against the discomfort as Paul put his son, Paul Jr. on the floor. He was almost two now and he was finally learning to run farther than 5 or 6 feet without falling down.

I held my arms wide and he was smiling, running into my arms and falling forward at the last moment, convinced I'd catch him as I always did. I gave him a hug, kissing his cheeks and smelling his clean blonde hair. He was handsome as his father, but he had his mother's eyes, bright and blue and right then they were shining just for me.

"Hey, what about daddy?" Paul smiled down at me, bending over so I could kiss him, running my tongue across his lips and then giving him a little bite.

"Ow!" Paul gave me an injured look like I'd hurt him, but I hadn't. "What's that for?"

"For being you!" I laughed, turning my attention back to the boy in my arms.

"Think fast." My husband tossed Paul a beer and they went outside, into the backyard to start the grill and talk about whatever it was men talked about on a sunny summer afternoon.

"She's getting feisty..." Paul was saying and I could hear my husband laughing as the screen door swung closed behind them.

"He's so beautiful, isn't he?" I looked up at Angela and she was glowing with pride. "He's going to be dangerous when he grows up!" I laughed, letting the boy go so he could find the toys we kept for him in the living room.

"Like his dad, yeah." Angela agreed, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. She slipped her hand inside my blouse, pressing her palm to my stomach and the baby inside. "Very dangerous."

the end of Respect