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Reality or Perception

By: thecelt



Author's note: Perhaps this story belongs in another category but I have come to have a deep respect for the readers in Loving Wives. I began writing for them and I continue to write with them in mind. I hope you enjoy this one.

Thanks to angel love for her usual great editing and comments. 

This is a story of a man who makes his living understanding and helping others understand themselves. He makes informed decisions about the women in his life based on his best perception of them. As a professional man, he believes what he sees, and considers that reality. But he finds that reality and perception are often quite different.

The Basis of Things

perception 
noun 
a belief or opinion, based on appearances.

reality 
noun 
1. the state of things as they are, rather than as they are imagined to be.
2. a fact.

Prologue:

I knew as I drove down the lane to my home later that night that Sherrie was angry with me. I couldn't help it but that wouldn't make her any more forgiving. When I called to tell her I was taking a later flight because I had to stay longer than planned, she calmly told me that I could just stay there overnight if I wanted to. Since it would be too late to go to the dinner party, it made little difference to her. Then she proceeded to tell me how much she had been looking forward to this night out with our friends and that she should have known that I would do something to mess it up. While I tried to make some inane promise to make it up to her, she just told me to go back to my meeting. Angrily I told her that maybe I should just stay there tonight and let her cool down. She hung up with a slam.

Of course, I had no intention of staying over rather than going home so now, hours later and tired from a late flight it was just past 11:30 at night. I was tired, cranky and not in the mood for what I expected was waiting for me. Well, that was the price I paid for being in demand as a reference source in criminal cases. In this case, my wife's anger was the price. I turned into my street and saw my house just ahead. As I got closer, I saw a car that I didn't recognize sitting in my driveway. My initial thought was that Sherrie had gone out for the evening and some of her friends had stayed with her afterwards. It had been a lot of years since Karen so my thoughts were innocent.

I got out of the car, grabbed my overnight and briefcase and went in through the garage entrance. That led me directly into the kitchen. As I opened the door, I heard Sherrie laughing and saw her sitting there talking with a man that I didn't know. He was younger than I, tall and very well built with sandy colored hair and blue eyes. I immediately disliked him. I shut the door to the garage with more force than necessary to gain Sherrie's attention.

When she saw me, Sherrie's face turned red and I thought I saw a brief flash of disappointment before she turned away. The young man looked up as I came in and I saw a smile form on his face, a smile that I didn't much care for. Ignoring me, Sherrie stood up, still chuckling, as did he and they moved out of the kitchen into the foyer where Sherrie must have said goodnight. Just as I was about to follow them to see what was taking so long, I heard the door open and then close. I waited as Sherrie came back into the kitchen.

I controlled my anger well enough to speak calmly.

"May I ask who that was and why he was in my kitchen at midnight while I wasn't here?"

"You can ask, but I don't think it's any of your business. He was my guest and that's all you have to know."

As tired as I was, I guess my judgment was not what it should have been, because her answer, combined with my irritation, forced me to respond in a way not typical for me.

"I will ask you one more time, and this time I expect an answer. Who the fuck was that man in my goddamned kitchen!?"

Sherrie stepped back and dropped down into one of the chairs, her mouth open and her eyes wide. I had never talked to her like that before. She was caught stuttering an answer and she cowered down with her head between her hunched shoulders.

"Tha . . . that . . . , that was Brian Market. He's a good friend. Of Marilyn's I mean. I was at her place tonight and she asked him to follow me to be sure I got home all right. We pulled in just before you did. That's all it was."

I just glared at her as I listened to her answer. I had never thought to doubt my wife before this but with her attitude on the phone and her attitude when I walked in, I had doubts for the first time in our 3-year marriage. I suddenly remembered Karen. 

"Why would anyone have to follow you home from Marilyn's place? It's only two blocks for Christ's sake. And why would you allow him in the house at midnight when I wasn't home?"

"Why wouldn't I? He was simply making sure I got home and I was being courteous. Maybe Marilyn was worried about me. You certainly weren't! You weren't even here."

I decided that I wasn't going to do this now. I was tired, I was angry, and my wife was being bitchy. Nothing good was going to come from this. Without another word, I turned, walked away and went upstairs to get ready for bed. A good night's sleep was what I needed just now and tomorrow was Saturday. I could sleep in and deal with her then.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and toweled my hair dry enough to sleep and climbed into bed. I decided to read for a few minutes to unwind. I pulled a novel out of the side table and began. After about five minutes, Sherrie walked quietly in and went in to get ready for bed. I said nothing.

Sherrie came back into the bedroom and climbed into bed. She lay back with her hands across her bosom and watched me as I read. She seemed like she wanted to say something but I calmly closed my book after folding the corner of the page to mark my place and put it aside. I turned off the bedside light and lay back, turning my back to her to discourage any conversation.

"Stuart, I'm sorry for answering you that way. It was inappropriate for me to have had Brian in my home with you gone, especially this late at night. It was really very innocent as I told you but still, it should not have happened. I'm sorry."

I listened, accepted what she told me but for some reason, I wasn't satisfied. Something was nagging at me. I decided not to make an issue of this tonight when I was tired and ready for a fight.

"Goodnight Sherrie. We'll talk tomorrow."

She obviously wanted to continue with her explanation and her denials but I refused to respond to anything more so she finally gave up. I woke once about an hour later to feel her shaking beside me, crying quietly. For some reason that gave me some satisfaction, enough to get back to sleep. I was exhausted and slept until well into the next morning. It was a weekend so I didn't have to go in today. I needed the day off anyway. 

I normally didn't eat breakfast so when I did get up, I went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and padded out to the mailbox to get the paper. This was my morning routine and I saw no reason to break it, just because I was still furious from my wife's actions of the night before. She wasn't anywhere around so I took my newspaper to the patio and enjoyed the silence with my coffee and paper. I wanted the time to think of what it was that had me so upset. 

I knew that part of my reaction had to do with the actions of my first wife, Karen. She had been unfaithful and that had resulted in a divorce. I had not thought a lot about her over the years but I now tried to remember her actions before I became aware of her infidelity. There were few, if any, warning signs and I was caught unaware. I could say the same of Sherrie: there had been no actions that warranted increased suspicion on my part. Until now, that is. Just like Karen.

While I was still thinking about last night, Sherrie walked out to the patio and sat down across from me. She waited until I acknowledged her presence and then started right in.

"As I tried to tell you last night, nothing happened or was going to happen. What you saw was perfectly innocent. I was simply trying to be nice to a friend of Marilyn's for making sure I got home OK. She knew that I had one or two drinks and she was worried. I had only met Brian that evening so it was natural to invite him in to get to know him a little. That was all. You took it wrong and I was partly at fault for being snotty with you. That was only because I was still angry with you for causing our evening to be cancelled."

"Why did you go over there last night? I thought you would just go on to the party as planned. Why did you end up with your single friend and her boyfriends?"

"I didn't want to go to the party without you. Rather than stay in and stew, I went over to see Marilyn. She was alone until Brian came later. He was just visiting and he's living over on the east side going to college there. Apparently Marilyn knew his brother. They dated for a while. That's all."

"You seem to know a lot about someone you just met."

Sherrie was becoming agitated, and she was beginning to get angry. I was not going to have an argument with her so I preempted her tirade.

"What you did last night may have been totally harmless and well intentioned, but there is a saying. 'Perception is reality to the perceiver'. In other words, what is true in reality makes no difference to the one who sees or believes something else. The reality is that I came home unexpectedly and found you with a man in our home with me not here. In fact, you had no idea of when or if I would even be home at all. That can be misinterpreted very easily and I could have done that last night. If I had, we would have had a major problem. As it is, I am still trying to decide how I feel about it. I wasn't home and you had a man in our home. Do you understand what I am saying? Do you understand the perception that leaves on me?"

Sherrie listened to me and I think she was frightened of what I might think. While she had apologized, she knew that she had made a very big mistake and that it could have turned out very badly. As a matter of fact, it still could. 

"I understand what you're saying. I know I gave you the wrong idea and it was stupid of me. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"I'm glad. I was surprised and suspicious of you for the first time in our marriage. It's going to take some time for me to trust you again. Just remember, in the future, there will be no misunderstanding if it happens again. Since you know how I feel, there will be no room for explanations. I will not go through that hell again."

I was talking about my divorce from Karen, but Sherrie probably didn't know that. I had never completely revealed the whole story to her. Just enough to let her know that infidelity was the grounds for our divorce. Sherrie however, must have understood how serious I saw last night.

"Yes. It won't happen again. You have no reason to be suspicious of me. You know I love you and only you."

"That's what I thought before last night. Now, I don't know."

"Please, Stuart. Don't think like that. I do love you. Believe it." 

Sherrie and I circled around each other rest of the day, neither mentioning the prior evening. I was still feeling uncertain and very nervous about what I had seen and Sherrie could sense it. I think she was hoping I would just let it drop. Maybe I should have but not me. It prayed on me throughout the day. I had seen what I had seen and that was reality. My belief in her fidelity had been shaken.

We spent the day doing odds and ends around the house before Sherrie let me know that she was going over to see Marilyn. She said she wanted to see if she would go with her to the opening of an art show featuring a young woman artist we both knew. I had a previous commitment and couldn't go with her, but I was unprepared for the sudden surge of anger that accompanied her statement. Before I could control my self, I said some things.

"Are you going to see Marilyn or Brian Market?"

Sherrie looked at me in surprise before answering. I think I also saw a brief flash of guilt. I am very perceptive when it comes to feelings and I read faces quite well. I was sure of what I saw.

"Stuart! Why would you ask me that? I'm going to see Marilyn. I don't even know whether Brian will still be there. He is just a friend of Marilyn's so I don't even know where he lives. What's wrong with you? My God, he's the same age as Mickey? Why are you being this way?"

"Because you did something that gave me reason to suspect you. You had a man in our home knowing that I was not there. That worries me. It makes me wonder why you did it." 

"You're being crazy. I already apologized for that but it was innocent and you know that. What more do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you going over to Marilyn's all the time now that I know about Brian Market. She's single and looking for a husband so I would guess she has a lot of eligible men around her. You forget: you're not eligible."

"Fine. I won't go, but you're being ridiculous. Marilyn dates men her own age. I told you he's just a kid. I have no interest in anyone besides you."

Things finally calmed down and Sherrie made it clear that she was not going to do anything that I could be upset about. She called Marilyn and they talked about the art show and did make arrangements to go. I listened in just for my own satisfaction and then forgot it. 

With that, we moved back into our normal routine. But, I was still thinking of Karen and what had happened. I again tried to remember if there were any clues.

The Beginning: Karen

My name is Stuart Ransom. I am 48 years old. When I was just 30, I married my first wife, Karen Wallace. Karen was my age and she and I had known each other in college, years before we began to date. My impression of Karen was that she was wild and free and a lot of fun but that she was a good and loyal friend. She was someone that I enjoyed being with and she seemed to like being with me. That was my belief, my perception of the Karen I thought I knew. 

I met Karen again at a party one night after I came back from the service, ready for a steady girl. Karen was always ready to go party but I liked her style and the sex was phenomenal. We began to go steady and we just assumed that we would finally marry. Our romance was very low key and very uneventful but we felt suited to each other. We were quite happy and I finally asked her to marry me. She accepted and we were married in a big ceremony with lots of friends and family. Things were great and life looked good.

I had graduated from college and put in some time on in-service training for Psychiatry before going into the military. I needed something physical before going to work for the rest of my life so I joined the military and volunteered for Special Services. I reuped once and I was able to finish my internship at one of the military field hospitals and had returned home and proudly opened my own practice of psychiatry. Karen kept her job at one of the legal firms in town as a secretary and together, we did quite well. Well enough that we decided to have a baby. I wanted one very much but Karen was less enthusiastic. She did agree, however, and we began working hard to get pregnant. It only took four months and nine months later Michelle was born. 

Right from the start, it was clear that she was my daughter more than her mother's. Karen was competent and a good mother who did all the right things but it was clear that she would rather be out with friends or at a movie or dinner with another couple, almost anything rather than home with the baby. Things didn't get any better as time went on and when Mickey was 18 months old, Karen finally declared that she was going back to work. She had already called to see if her old job was available and she planned to start the following week. My protestations to the contrary she had made up her mind and that was that. She arranged for day care for Michelle and went back to work full time.

It was sometime later, when Mickey turned three that I noticed Karen had changed. She was going out more, coming in later and our love life had all but disappeared. I was working long hours trying to cement my practice and didn't really pay that much attention but I finally caught on when I came home one evening unexpectedly to find Karen in a compromising position on the couch with a man I had never met. 

I told Karen that morning that I would probably not be home much before 7:00 or 7:30. I had a meeting with an attorney who had asked for my help and it was across town so I knew, with traffic, it would be at least then before I could make it home. However, the attorney cancelled at the last minute so I left the office just after 5:00 p.m. and was home 30 minutes later. That was how I walked in to see Karen on our couch with her blouse open and this guy with his hand down inside. She had her eyes closed and she was making approving noises as I walked in. Neither one heard me as I entered and I just stood there dumbfounded. 

I finally broke free of the stupor that held me and walked directly over to them, grabbing a fistful of collar from the man. I pulled him up bodily and slammed him into the wall next to the couch. Karen had suddenly noticed the lack of her lover's hands and opened her eyes just as the scumbag slid to the floor. She screamed. 

"Oh God, don't kill him! Please, don't hurt him. This isn't what it looks like. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this and I'm sorry. Please let him go! It's not his fault."

I ignored her, waiting for the scumbag to get up. I saw that he was at least 50 pounds heavier than I and probably a good two inches taller. I could see tattoos peaking out of the collar of his shirt and some on his well-developed forearms. I looked over at Karen.

"I'll deal with you later. Just get the fuck up and get out of this room. This is my house and this scumbag is leaving it right now." I turned back to the dirtbag. "Do you hear me, scumbag? Get your ass up and get out!"

Scumbag was now sizing up the situation. He saw my size and he knew in his own mind that he could take me. Maybe he thought that would make up for my ruining his fuck session. He smiled an evil little smile as he rose up. He brushed the imaginary dirt off his shirt and tried to stare me down. That failed, so he decided to make it a short fight with a little bravado.

"Don't worry babe. I'll show hubby how to treat a woman like you after I get his attention. You and me are gonna make him watch. I promise not to hurt him too bad. Just keep that pussy nice and wet for me." 

Karen yelled at him to just get out before he did anything stupid, but he looked over at her with disgust and shook his head 'no'. Too bad for him. He gave me that stupid shit eating grin again which made me really mad. He threw what he thought was a knockout punch at my head but I simply leaned back out of the way. He spun around with the momentum of his swing and I politely waited till he could relocate me, now standing behind him. He turned with several swear words and stopped. He now tried a new tact. He came at me with both arms out in front like he was going to hug a tree. As he got within reach, I simply swung my leg up and caught him in the crotch. He went down like a sack of wet shit.

By this time, Karen had given up and gone to our bedroom. She knew my background and knew that shithead was going to get his ass kicked. There was nothing she could do about it and she was smart enough to know that. And anyway, she probably figured she had to get her story straight. She had to make it good for me so that she could get out of this without losing her meal ticket. 

For background, I used to be the resident shrink for a Special Forces team stationed in Afghanistan before the second Gulf War and I had mastered almost every form of martial arts there was. Our job was to restrict the drug traffic out of Afghanistan into the States and we had to deal with a lot of the local warlords. They were hard men and understood force, but not much else. I knew a lot of ways to kill a man quickly or slowly, but even more ways to make him wish that I would just kill him. More on this later. Too bad for shithead: he didn't know that. Oh well, education is a wonderful thing.


Reality or Perception



Once he had his breath back, shithead decided to be more cautious. He backed away. Well now, that wasn't going to work for me. I couldn't beat the shit out of him if he was going to run away so I advanced on him with my arms slack at my sides and my hands open. As I got within reach, I raised my right hand and smacked him across the face with a resounding crack! This was not designed to hurt: only to anger, and boy, was he angry! He swore a lot and rushed me again, all caution forgotten. I watched him come and met him with a fist to the solar plexus. The air whooshed out of his lungs and he had this stupid look of surprise on his face as he sank to his knees, both hands held tight against his stomach, and gasping for breath. I suddenly just felt tired of him and this crap. This time when he finally got back up, I decided to end it. I took his rush head on, slipped sideways and brought my hand up in a chopping motion to the side of his neck, low and toward the front. I was careful not to crush his larynx: I didn't want to kill him. He stopped dead, as if he had run into a tree. I knew he was struggling to breathe. His breathing reflex was semi paralyzed by the blow. I could see the fear in his eyes now. He knew he was a dead man.

After watching him struggle for a few seconds, I saw the panic and pain in his eyes and felt sorry for him. I reached over to pinch just the right spot, relaxing the spasm I had caused. He gasped and staggered back, all fight gone. He sucked in huge gulps of air as he tried to get the cobwebs out of his oxygen deprived brain. He tried several times to speak and finally croaked out something.

"I'm sorry man. God, you scared the crap out of me. I thought I was gonna die. I promise you this ain't never gonna happen again. Your wife's safe with me from now on. Just promise you're not gonna kill me."

I looked at him in disgust but needed to ask.

"Was this the first time? How many times have you fucked my wife? I want the truth. Lie and I'll make sure you won't ever screw another man's wife."

"Man, no. This was the first time for me. Maybe other guys, yeah, them's the ones told me about her, but not me. I just met her this week. Never before man, never. Swear to God!"

"Where did you meet her? Who were the guys that told you about her? Tell me!"

"I work for a guy that uses one of the lawyers at her place. My boss said he did her and she was good in the sack. That's the truth man." As my face clouded with anger, he backed away and finally croaked, "Don't kill the messenger, man."

I believed him so I just stepped back pointing at the door. He left in a hurry, carrying his shoes and jacket with him. He didn't even bother to say goodbye. Rude bastard. 

I sat on the couch, that only a few minutes ago had been the scene of the end of my marriage and I cried. I just sat there and cried. I had only loved one woman in my life and that was Karen. I was simply overwhelmed. I had no idea of what I was going to do but at that minute, I knew that my life had changed forever. I loved Karen with all my heart, but I knew that love had just been dealt a death blow. I began to feel a void grow in my chest starting from where my heart was. It continued to grow and a darkness spread from it to my mind. As it grew, I slowly felt a feeling of emptiness take hold.

I wiped my face, splashed some water on to clear my eyes and walked up to the bedroom to confront my wife. She was sitting on the bed. She had been crying but was calm now, apparently relieved that I had let shithead leave without killing him. I sat down beside her and just waited.

"What can I say? This was the first time I had ever done anything like this. I met Carlo last week at the office and we got to talking. I told him where I lived, but I never gave him the address. He must have looked it up. He showed up here today and one thing led to another and you walked in on the result. I am so glad you did. You stopped me from doing something very stupid. I'm sorry, so, so sorry. Please forgive me?"

I won't go into a lot of detail but what happened was that I listened to her, discounted everything she told me and decided to find out for myself. My perception of Karen had now changed and my belief was that she was a tramp. I soothed her by telling her I believed her and that everything was going to be fine. She calmed down, actually being stupid enough to believe me. We made love, since I got to them before she did anything with shithead but it was without feeling on my part. The emptiness I had felt growing had taken me over completely. She really outdid herself. I may live for another 50 years but I don't honestly think I will ever find anyone else who could give a blowjob like Karen. She had an awesome mouth. Dumb bitch! She had it made and she fucked it up.

Three months later, a private investigator's report, complete with pictures of her and two other shitheads that I didn't know, and we were off to divorce court. She cried and cried and wanted to talk about it and explain, but I knew that I had to end it now. Cold turkey! I am a very smart man as you can guess and I really stuck it to her. The emptiness gave me that edge that eliminated any need to be generous or forgiving. She got off with just half of the marital assets in the local banks and we sold the house and split the proceeds. Since it was mortgaged to the hilt, we split half of almost nothing. I refused spousal support and when she balked, I threatened to send the report to her father in San Diego. He was very wealthy and she was his only offspring so she was looking ahead to Daddy's money when he croaked. As a result, she was scared to death of her father cause he actually liked me, so she buckled like a wet noodle. The divorce was signed and that was the last I saw of her. Oh, yes. I got full custody of Mickey. She had visitation rights but never used them. It just goes to show that sometimes your perception of someone can be so totally wrong.

Life Goes On: Me and Mickey

So, there I was, now a single father, 33 years old with a growing practice in psychiatry, making good money and already divorced. My life looked grim, trying to raise a daughter by myself. I had to find some way to get rid of the empty feeling so it would not affect my daughter. I decided then and there to begin to do some of the things that I had planned earlier in my life. I needed some money and I needed help quickly. 

One more thing to know about me. Because of some of the things we did in Special Forces in places like Afghanistan long before the first Gulf War, me and some of my buddies were able to make a few bucks under the noses of our commanding officers. The drug trade was flourishing and we just thought it was our due to confiscate some of the dollars from the locals. It was a safe bet that they wouldn't complain and we were not a group that they wanted to make enemies. By way of warning, we found the meanest son of a bitch Tribal Leader in one of the many mountain ranges there, took him out, and mounted his head on a sharp stick. That was a very well recognized sign to the locals. It worked to a degree but we decided it needed a booster shot so we picked another mover and shaker and took him and his lieutenants out. Our rep was sealed, and we had few complainers. So, by the time I was done, I had a nice piece of change in several numbered accounts in Switzerland. No one, including Karen, knew about this part of my life and she knew nothing about the money. I had never had reason to touch it and of course, I never talked about it. 

After the divorce was final, I pulled some money out of one of those accounts and invested it in a fund set up for Mickey for her education. I still had plenty of money elsewhere and I only drew on it as needed. My practice was beginning to take off and I had enough coming in to let the rest of it ride. Karen could never touch any of the funds I earned from now on since they were post marriage funds. She never learned of the other monies either. 

So now it was just my daughter and I. We moved to a nice apartment just a short walk from my office and I hired a wonderful older nanny to make sure I didn't ruin Mickey's youth. She would give me the time I needed to find my way again and to let the hatred and pain of Karen's betrayal fade. They took to each other right away and made my life much more fun. I loved Mickey to death and I would have spoiled her every which way but nanny Grace made sure that didn't happen. Mickey grew up to be a wonderful girl and a beautiful one to boot. Her beauty she got from her mother. From me, she got her independent spirit and her love of adventure. 

I spent more and more time at my practice and took an interest in the psychology of antisocial behavior. I loved the challenge of dealing with people who appeared normal in almost all respects but were deeply troubled and suffered from phobias, obsessions and other neurosis. I thought maybe it would help explain Karen. I took only those clients who could pay well and those whose obsessions were not public knowledge. I gradually got the reputation of one who could be trusted to get those people who were famous out of trouble. My client base grew as the years passed and I found myself more and more fascinated with the criminal element in that subset of famous people I treated. 

More than one of my clients had committed a serious crime of some sort at one time or the other and I had been subpoenaed many times to testify in court. Criminal behavior was not protected by doctor/client privilege but I had a way of testifying that also included exculpatory information based on their psychosis. My reputation now included what some called forensic psychology. In any event, I would testify for $25,000 for any of my clients. I would not testify if I didn't know the client or hadn't sufficient time to be certain. My reputation grew, adding integrity to my resume.

As I became more and more well known, I dated less and less. At age 38, I wanted no complications in a life already complicated enough. Even now, five years later, Karen was never far from my mind when I did date and I found it hard to find a way to trust any woman. Only nanny Grace and Michelle. Those were the only women I needed or trusted. I did date occasionally and more than once I used the services of a very discrete escort service. I will say those girls were well trained. They were very knowledgeable and I usually sent them home early in the morning well paid. It kept the edge off.

Mickey turned 13 and we had a major blowout party. She invited all of her friends and I had rented out a bowling alley since that was the 'in thing' at the time. She must have had more than 60 kids there that night and I just had the concession stand do what they normally did. I paid for everything that evening and the kids enjoyed the party tremendously. At least Mickey said they did and she would know. Nanny Grace was there but she only watched and smiled a great deal. She and Mickey were more like friends now, not nanny and ward, but Grace had only to speak and Mickey listened. 

At the party, I met many of the parents, especially mothers, of the girls. I was sort of famous and a lot of the mothers were very friendly. I tried to be gracious and well behaved but my eye was wandering a lot. Once, I was very tempted to ask the mother of one of the girls if she would consider meeting me later, but I noticed she looked a lot like Karen. That stopped me cold. I spent the rest of the evening just smiling and watching. 

Time passed and Mickey had grown into a teenaged woman. I was proud of her in so many ways. She was a sweet, pretty young girl who had a lot of friends and always seemed to have someplace to go or someone to see. Grace always knew who, where and when and if I asked, she always had the answers. I knew Mickey was in good capable hands, but it had been almost nine years since we had a woman in our lives. I began to pay more attention to the females around us. 

A New Start: Helen

It was just after Mickey's birthday party that I met Helen. She was one of the mothers that I met at the party but she was a single mother, about mid 30s, and that made all the difference. She and her husband Chad were not divorced yet but they were officially separated. She was extremely good looking and intelligent. Someone, I can't remember who now, introduced us and wanted to set us up on a date. With my recent introspection, I decided to give it a try. Helen was hot! She was about 5' 6", with long black hair and dark eyes. She had a very nice figure with a chest that promised good things. She always looked nice and she seemed very intelligent when I met her for the first time. We went out, and seemed to hit it off very well. My immediate perception was that if Helen was all I thought she was, she could be perfect for me. 

I called her a day later and we made plans to have dinner. We had a few more dates and they were enough to make me want to see more of her. I decided to take the plunge and asked her if she would consider going away with me for a weekend. She hardly thought about it before telling me she would be delighted. We planned a weekend away for just the two of us at a nice resort in San Quintin on the Baja. I had been there before and knew it was perfect. It had a wonderful restaurant called Los Jardines that I knew Helen would love. I chartered a small plane with a pilot and we arrived early on a Friday afternoon.

Once we had checked in, Helen put on a pair of very short shorts with a tank top that was also just a size too small. For me, it was perfect. She put on a pair of sandals and pirouetted for me.

"How do I look? Would you go out with me looking like this?"

"We certainly could go out and give all of the locals a heart attack but I have a much better idea. I think you should take those tight things off and come over her and sit on my lap while I try to measure you for something better?"

She giggled, walked over to me and pulled the top over her head, pushing her 34C's in my face. I was very pleased with this development. We had made love twice before but both times were awkward and tentative. This time, we had three days to learn about each other and I was looking forward to the education. It would seem that finally my perception of someone was correct. Time would tell.

Helen pulled my face to her breasts and encouraged me to take her nipples into my mouth. I was happy to oblige. I worked on both breasts while trying to slide her shorts down over her ample hips. She was making things difficult, while laughing at my attempts. She finally took mercy on me and stood up. She stepped back and watched my face as she slid her shorts down to the floor. She was wearing no panties. She stepped out of them and stood before me in all her glory. She was magnificent!

I also stood up, hurrying to take off my clothes. I couldn't get naked fast enough. As I finally got free of everything, she had moved over to me and put both hands on my chest. She rubbed her hands up and down my chest, over my stomach and down to just above my now erect cock. She teased me this way for a minute, just watching my eyes. When I could finally take no more, she dropped to her knees, sat back and took my cock in her hands. She stroked me a few times, making sure I was hard and ready and took me into her warm mouth. She used her tongue to moisten the head and the first few inches before sliding her lips down and over the first half. She moved back and then repeated the motion, beginning a slow in and out motion. As she did this, she was sucking gently, her cheeks collapsing inward. It was the most erotic sight I had ever seen. I thought Karen gave great head. Helen could give her lessons. 

As I began to enjoy the sensations, Helen began to take more and more of me inside her mouth. She finally succeeded in taking all I had without gagging. She looked up at me with those dark eyes of hers as she dropped her hands into her lap. I looked sideways to the mirror and what I saw was something I will never forget. I saw a beautiful woman with golden skin on her knees, sitting back against her heels. Her back was perfectly straight, her head was tilted slightly upward and her hands were sitting quietly in her lap. The contrast of the pure bikini white skin around her tits and pussy next to the golden skin was erotic as hell. She was moving slowly up and down my shaft and I saw a man in heaven.

As I watched my reflection in the mirror, I moved my hands behind her head and held her motionless as I began to move my hips to drive my cock into her warm wet mouth. I started to fuck her mouth and she seemed to like this as I watched her face twist into a smile. I begin to move in and out, leaving just the head in on each stroke and holding back as long as I could. I looked down into her eyes and told her that I was not going to last too much longer. She sucked a little harder for a second, letting me know that it was OK to continue and I nodded. I finally let nature take its course. I began to pump a little faster and a little harder. She seemed fine but reached up to put one hand around the base of my cock to protect her throat if I got a little too aggressive. I felt the contraction of my balls and I knew I had to let it go. I began to really pump into her faster and faster. She reached up with her other hand to grab my balls and gently squeezed them as I was moving in and out. I finally felt the semen pump up the tube and out into her mouth. I came for what seemed like ages. She continued to suck until I began to shrink. She opened her mouth to let me out. 

I was panting and almost out of breath. That was the most intensive climax that I could remember having. I looked down at her sitting there, smiling at me. I reached down and pulled her up and held her body next to mine. I kissed her hair, her forehead, her nose and finally her mouth. That wonderful mouth that had given me so much pleasure. I could taste myself on her but I didn't mind at all. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back with passion. I could feel my cock slowly responding, probably because of the little pill I had taken several hours ago. She pulled back and looked down in surprise and apparently some joy based on the smile that formed on her face. 

"What have we here? I am quite surprised, but pleasantly so. It seems that someone wants to play some more. Any thoughts?"

I released her and walked over to the bed to sit down. My legs were still shaky and I wasn't sure I could remain upright.

"I'm still trying to get my head to think again. You literally blew my mind just a minute ago. I can't even begin to describe what I felt. Where'd you learn to do that? God, it was incredible."

"A girl can't tell all of her secrets. And it wasn't your mind I was blowing. Are you prepared to return the favor?"

"I'll do my damndest. I don't know if I could ever compete with that, but I'll give it a try. Come over here to the bed and sit down."

She came over to where I was sitting and stopped in front of me. Her close trimmed pussy was almost directly in line with my face and she moved as close as she could, straddling my legs while taking my head in her hands. 

"I think I'll remain standing if you don't mind. I like looking down at you. Maybe if you do a really good job, I won't be able to stand very long. Think?"

I took the hint and pulled her into my mouth. I used my tongue to moisten her outer lips and to begin the job of opening her up. I ran my tongue up and down her lips and found her clit just beginning to stick out. I nibbled on that little bump until it was standing proud and then took it between my teeth. She seemed to like that since I could feel her trying to force her crotch down my throat. I used my fingers as well, neglecting neither her pussy nor her clit. I continued this until I could feel her breathing become ragged and her hips moving almost constantly. I reached around behind her and massaged her cheeks as I used my tongue to drive into her as deeply as I could. I wanted to give her the same pleasure she had given me and I tried to make this as good for her as I could. I used two fingers and finally three as I plunged them into her. As I did this, I used my teeth and my tongue on her clit, stimulating her even more. I moved my hand faster and faster, as my mouth pulled and nipped at her clit and I used the other hand to hold her in place. She was now moaning almost continuously and her hips had begun to buck into my face faster and faster. Her hands behind my head had been holding me tightly but now were becoming demanding. My neck was beginning to ache from the strain. 




Reality or Perception



As our actions reached a frenzied pace the combination of my fingers and my tongue took her to the edge and finally she tumbled over. I almost suffocated as she mashed my face into her pulsing sex and held me there until the crest passed and she finally began to relax. I gratefully inhaled air as she released me. She staggered back and fell face down on the bed beside me. She was still breathing heavily and I watched her with a small feeling of pride. I had done that to her. Damn!

Fortunately, I was looking at one of the finest asses I had ever had the pleasure of seeing this close up. She obviously kept herself in trim and her little ass was tight but very well proportioned. I reached over to slide my hand across her soft skin. It felt wonderfully warm and soft. I moved it up and down those two bumps of pleasure and loved the feel. I noticed that my erection was now fully back and ready to go. 

She had fallen face down on the bed with her legs over the edge and her feet touching the floor. I rose from the bed and moved behind her and between her spread legs. As I put my hands on her thighs she looked over her shoulder at me with surprise on her face.

"Are you ready to do what I think you're going to do?"

"I thought since you seem to be so tired, I would just let you stay there while I investigate the back entrance. Any problem?"

"I have a big problem with that. I want to watch you. Maybe we can try the back entrance later but first, I need you to come in the front door."

With that, she rolled over and scooted up the bed, beckoning me to follow. I climbed onto the bed and crawled over to straddle her hips. My legs were outside of hers and I moved up so that I could let my cock fall between her breasts. She watched me with a smile on her face and no fear whatsoever. She was ready for whatever I wanted to do. What I wanted was to fuck her, but first I wanted to feel her tits around my cock. I reached for her hands, but she beat me to it. She squeezed her tits around my cock and smiled as I began to rock my hips foreword and back. The feeling was great and she squeezed tightly, making the friction high. This was great and I would do this again later, but first to business.

"That's as good as I thought it would be but I want to bury this in that wonderful pussy of yours. Are you ready?"

"I've been ready for a long while. But everything else felt so good, it made this seem like dessert. Put it in and cum inside me. It's safe."

With her words, I quickly moved between her legs. She pulled her legs up so that she had her feet flat on the bed and her legs bent at the knees. I entered her easily since she was very wet and relaxed. I pushed in slowly, allowing her to accommodate me until I was buried as far as I could go. I stopped there and pulled her legs up and onto my shoulders. She raised her hips slightly allowing me to go even deeper and I finally felt our pelvis' touch. Once fully in, I moved back out and then in again. The second plunge was perfect and she sighed with pleasure. I set up a steady motion, pushing into her until I was buried all the way and then back out, leaving just the head inside. I repeated this, slowly increasing my pace until I was rocking in and out steadily. 

Having already cum once, I had some stamina and I was able to continue fucking Helen this way for almost 10 minutes until I could feel the telltale tingle of my coming climax. I let her know that I was close and she put her hands on my arms and squeezed, letting me know it was OK to let go. I went even faster and plunged even deeper until I felt the fluid moving into my cock. I gave one more deep push and held still as I shot string after string of sperm deep into her womb. She must have climaxed as well, since I looked down at her as she remained silent to see her mouth open in a silent scream. She suddenly went limp and let out a huge sigh. 

We remained there in each others arms as we returned reluctantly to the world around us. I felt spent and drained but totally relaxed and happy. Her smile seemed to convey the same feeling. I just held her, not needed words or actions. We fell asleep that way and woke several hours later. We made love again, this time actually getting to try doggie. She was as good at this as everything else and I lost my control very quickly. We came together and finished off with a shower. Since this was only Friday and we had the whole weekend ahead of us, we decided to get dressed and go to dinner. The restaurant was Los Jardines and the food was excellent: a mix of Mexican and California light. We both filled up until we were stuffed and then sat back with a bottle of wine and enjoyed the music. We were so tired after our day that we went back to the room and just fell asleep, fully clothed and exhausted. 

Helen and I spent the entire weekend screwing each other's brains out. I was totally spent by Saturday night and wasn't sure if I could go another round for at least a week. That was until Helen came in dressed in a thong! That's right, only a thong. Well, I was up and running again and we finished the weekend in bed, stopping only for room service a couple of times. We finally had to stop to get dressed and get to our charter plane. I had told the pilot to return for us Sunday just after lunch. As I loaded our bags in the taxi for the airport, I knew that I wanted to spend more time with Helen after we got home. I believed she was perfect and I was ready to go to the next level with her. My perception was again telling me she was the one. 

Once we arrived in L.A., I drove Helen home from the airport. We didn't talk much since we were both wiped out but Helen was uncharacteristically quiet. I didn't press until I got her inside her door. Her daughter was staying with the father for the weekend and they wouldn't be home for hours. This was the perfect time.

"Helen, what's bothering you? You haven't said a word since we left San Quintin? Did I do something wrong?"

Helen simply shook her head no but said nothing else. She was obviously distressed. I tried again.

"Helen, please talk to me. I had so much fun with you this weekend and I would like to take our relationship to the next level. Can we discuss it?"

Helen finally looked deep into my eyes. I could tell she had been crying and I knew something was coming.

"Chad wants to move back home and give our marriage another try. He asked me Thursday when he picked up Caroline. He has agreed to marriage counseling and anything else I think is necessary. I told him I would think about it and let him know tonight."

Even though I was shocked by this, I took it well. I was actually relieved that it wasn't something I had done. And after the session we had just had, there was no way she could say yes. Was there?

"What are you going to say? You're going to say no, right?"

"I'm going to say yes. I never stopped loving Chad but I thought he had stopped loving me. He said that wasn't the problem and he wanted to give it another try. He asked for my help and support and I'm ready to give it to him."

"But, we had such a great time this weekend. What about that?"

"That's why I'm willing to try again. If you and I can get along so well and be so intimate after only a short time, what could I do with Chad if we really tried? I have to try anything and everything for my marriage."

She took my face in her hands and looked deep into my eyes.

"Can you accept that? Are you willing to just walk away if I ask you? Unless you do, I don't think I can make this work."

"If you ask me, I will. But you have to know that it's not what I want. Are you sure it's what you want?"

"I'm sure for now. It may not work and it may all fall apart but I have to try. For Caroline's sake and for mine."

We talked a little more, but in the end, my only choice was to walk away. It hurt quite a bit but I was glad it was early in the relationship. It didn't hurt like Karen, but it was still painful. I did as she asked and never tried to contact her again, but I often looked back.

The Ocean Cruise: Rachael

Well, after one divorce and one promising relationship that went south in a flat out hurry, I wasn't ready to try again so soon. I just went to work and let time heal all wounds as they say. About two years later, I asked my lovely teenage daughter what she would like to do with her summer break. She would be out of school in another two weeks and I suggested she think of a treat. I was thinking of a trip to Paris, somewhere in the south like Mexico or even to someplace exotic, like one of the Hawaiian islands or the Bahamas. She had other ideas.

It was about a week later that she came to me with her plan. She wanted to take a cruse, going down along the coast of California and Mexico. She wanted to take at least two weeks and she wanted to take one of her friends. She wanted to take Susan Barlow, but Susan could only go if she took her Aunt Rachael as a chaperone. It would be wonderful: she could shop, see all the places in Mexico that she had only heard of and hit all of the fabulous beaches and see a lot of guys. She thought it would be great. The cruise left San Diego and would hit Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, PuertoVallarta, Acapulco, Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo, Manzanillo, and return to San Diego. 

I had to admit that it sounded like a great cruise and if there was an additional adult, it would make my life a lot easier. One of us could chaperone and one could relax. Together we might both enjoy it as well. I gave Mickey the go ahead to make arrangements with Susan's folks. I wondered a bit about the aunt, but decided that it would make no difference. This was a chance for me to take some time off and I certainly needed it after Helen.

All arrangements were made and we boarded the ship right around the middle of May. The weather was always nice here anyway but it was just past the rainy time of year so it should be great. I had two cabins; one for Mickey and me and one for Susan and her Aunt Rachael. Should work out well. Since I had the money, I got outside rooms on the top deck. The rooms had balconies and great views. An extra grand a room but worth it. Thanks once again to the Afghan Warlords. 

It was about an hour later that I finally met Aunt Rachael. She and Susan came aboard, checked in and knocked on our door. Mickey was already out and about so I was alone. I opened the door to see a young girl who I knew was Susan and a woman who took my breath away. If this was Aunt Rachael, I was going to be a happy man. She was a platinum blonde, about 5'5", with a body that would make a blind man see. As she smiled at me, I noticed her eyes: deep blue and almond shaped. The kind of eyes that a man would gladly fall into. She was, in a word, stunning!

I just stared at them for an embarrassingly long time before Susan broke the ice.

"Where's Mick? Is she here or is she already looking for the hot guys? Oh, yeah, this is Aunt Rachael. This is Mickey's dad. I'm gonna go find Mick. I'll catch you later. If she comes back here before I find her, tell her that I'm gonna be at the pool."

With that, she was gone and I stood there like an idiot until I finally remembered who I was and where I was. 

"I'm so sorry. Please, won't you please come in? I'm Stuart Ransom and Michelle is my daughter. But, that's dumb. You already know that. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was expecting but not you. Not that that's a bad thing. That's not . . . I'm rambling. I'm very sorry. Please, come in and sit down."

Rachael simply smiled at me as I stumbled over myself. She obviously had this reaction from a lot of guys so she knew how to deal with it. She walked in, looked around and sat down in one of the lounge chairs.

"I'm also sorry that we never had a chance to meet before this. My name isn't really Aunt Rachael, it's Rachael Willows, and I don't know what you were expecting so I hope that we can find some way to make this trip as easy on you as possible. I have no trouble taking the girls most of the time. Since you are paying for the trip, the least I can do is give you some time to enjoy it."

"That's very kind of you, but I don't think that the girls will need much supervision during the day and anyway, it was not my intention that you be a full time baby sitter. This was a gift to my daughter and she wanted you and Susan so that's what I gave her. I was pleased that you accepted. She and Susan are together all the time and I think she was thrilled that her parents came up with this solution."

Rachael laughed and said, "I hope you will still be pleased after 2 weeks of being with three women." 

I had no doubt that I was going to be pleased. The girls could do as they pleased so long as I had some time with this fascinating woman. This cruise promised to be more than I expected.

For the next few days, we all got to know each other quite well. Susan was a lot like Mickey and I could see why they were such good friends. Rachael and I found time to get to know each other and we got along quite well. I enjoyed her company and she seemed to like mine. We never had much time alone, but there was still plenty of time. We still had nine days.

On the 7th day out, I found that I was seated at the Captain's table for dinner that night so I mentioned this to Mickey. She wanted to sit with Susan so I proposed, very cleverly I thought, that she sit with Susan and Rachael could sit with me. That way, everyone would be happy. Mickey looked at me with a slight grin and agreed. She went next door to tell Rachael and Susan. Apparently everyone was agreeable since we all left to go to dinner.

Rachael was dressed in a soft, flowing dress of the most intense shade of green that came just below her knees and flowed over her curves like water. It made me glad to be a man who could appreciate the finer things in life. She fit into that category quite nicely. The dress matched her eyes, also green. She had her hair pulled back over her ears and it fell softly to just below her shoulders. She had on very little makeup and needed none. She was remarkable. I was still having trouble with my tongue when I was around her but she didn't seem to mind. 

We introduced ourselves to the rest of the guests at the table but soon found ourselves talking softly to each other and ignoring the others. She was a remarkable woman with many interests. I could listen to her talk for hours and did. We finished dinner all too soon but she accepted my invitation to take a walk around the deck. I was looking for any means to keep this evening going and she didn't seem to want to go back to the cabin. As we strolled on the upper deck, I watched the breeze catch her hair and toss it around like a spray of silver. It was fascinating. Her eyes sparkled with the night lights arranged around the upper deck. All in all, she was a sight to behold. We finally stopped at the bow of the deck, looking ahead into the dark. 

As we stood quietly, I saw her look at me intently. She was looking for something but I didn't know what. Finally, she spoke, talking more to herself than me.

"I wonder. I just wonder." Then as she looked at me again, "why not?"

When I started to ask her what she meant, she simply smiled and shook her head. She straightened up from the railing and took my arm. As we strolled again around the deck, she seemed to come to some conclusion.

"Do you think we can convince the girls to give us some time alone? There's something I want to do."

"I think I can convince them to take in a movie on the third deck. I know there is one that she wanted to see but it wasn't out yet at home. I think Susan would probably go if Mickey wanted to. Want me to suggest it?"

"Yes, please. Let's go see them now. I think they were going to the pool area again. That's where most of the cute guys are."

We found the girls and I made the proposal. Mickey was not too anxious to leave the pool area and I finally took her aside and gave it to her straight.

"I want some time alone with Rachael. Does that bother you?" She shook her head no with a serious look at me. "And will you make that happen?"

She smiled a nasty grin and told me it was going to cost me. We finally settled on the movie for both of them, a late night snack and a shopping trip tomorrow on the main deck. I think I got taken, but I hoped it was going to be worth it.

When I collected Rachael at the pool, I told her we had the next three hours to ourselves. She smiled and took my arm and started toward the section where our rooms were located. I felt a quick thrill and hoped that it was going to be what I hoped. As we entered the hall where our rooms were, I was certain.

We got to my room and Rachael waited as I opened the door. She brushed past me into the room and I followed, locking the door behind me. I turned on the light, only to have Rachael ask me to turn it off. I did and moved to her. She was waiting. I took her in my arms and she melted against me with a sigh.

"I have wanted to do this since I first saw you. You feel as good as I expected. I want you to make love to me. I don't want you to be gentle with me. I want you to take me hard and fast. Please."

I wasn't sure what she was looking for but I was going to give it my best shot. I quickly shed my jacket, my tie, and my shirt. The pants followed as I literally kicked everything away just to get it gone. I was down to my shorts when I noticed that she had not moved. She just watched me in the darkness as I stripped. Not a very erotic sight, since I was in a hurry. 

I had a brilliant stroke of genius: maybe she was waiting for me to undress her? Well, hell. I could do that. I reached for her and she moved forward without hesitation. I reached around behind her to find the zipper to her dress. I pulled it down and had the satisfying sight of her dress opening up and sliding off of her shoulders as I traveled downward. The dress flowed from her and to the floor with hardly a sound. She was left with a lacy white bra and brief panties. I reached behind to unsnap the bra and it too fell away and to the floor. We were both down to only our briefs. Hers more brief than mine. Through all of this, she had said nothing, but to my relief she was smiling at me.

I pulled her tightly against me and felt her breasts pressing into my chest. Her body felt as though it was made to fit mine. She put her arms around me and held me tightly as I pushed her panties to the floor. She stepped out of them and raised her face to mine. I kissed her hard as I felt her hands slip under the waist of my briefs and slide them down over my erection. She seemed to know what to do as she pulled the waist away and over me. Now my hard cock was pressing into her stomach and she began to shiver. I remembered her request to take her hard. I hoped she meant it since that was what I was going to do.

I pushed her back against the edge of the bed, but before she could sit, I spun her around and without a thought, pushed her forward over the edge of the bed. Her beautiful ass was sticking up and the sight was almost enough to make me cum but I wasn't going to let that happen. I moved between her legs, spreading them apart with mine and rubbed my throbbing cock against her slit. I was surprised to see that she was completely shaved so that the lips of her pussy were clearly visible. I felt that she was already wet enough so I used her lubrication to smooth the way. I shoved against her and felt my cock slide inside easily. 

She gave a loud grunt, but remembering her words, I just pushed harder. I slid in all the way and stopped for a minute to gain some control. Once I was steady, I pulled back and then plunged inside again. She groaned with each stroke but it sounded like pleasure so I continued. I tried not to be gentle but it wasn't easy. I had never been into rough sex but damn if I wasn't going to do all I could to make her happy. I had a good rhythm going so I bent over and reached under her to grab her tits. I roughly squeezed the nipples, eliciting a new round of grunts while I really rammed her pussy. I was feeling the beginnings of a tingle in my balls that signaled a climax wasn't far behind. 




Reality or Perception



"I'm gonna cum soon. Inside you or not?"

"Inside! Do it you bastard! Fuck me harder and cum in me." 

Well now, that was something I hadn't heard much before. Actually, I kind of liked it and it did seem to increase my stamina. I was in control and she was mine! I would show her! I fucked her as hard as I could, my hips bucking into her ass and my fingers squeezing her nipples as my hands massaged her tits. My hips were moving at a blur as I felt the fluids move through my balls, and into my cock. The hot liquid shot up the tube inside my cock and out into her waiting body. I let it go and felt the walls of her pussy grip and milk me dry. She had a climax that almost shook me off right in the middle of my ejaculation but I held on till it was over. I collapsed on top of her and she fell flat onto the bed without a whimper. I pulled my arms out from under her and took some of my weight off her. Surprisingly, she seemed to want to be pinned under me so I just wrapped my arms around her and we lay that way for the next five minutes without a word.

I finally rose up and slid off of her to lay beside her. I faced her as she turned her head sideways to look at me. She was smiling thank God. It must have been good for her. I had to admit, I was worried since this was my first time trying to be rough. I waited for her to say something.

"Thank you. You may not believe it but I know that was hard for you. I knew from the beginning that you were not a rough person and that was what gave me the courage to do this with you."

I was surprised. That was not what I expected to hear from her. I guess I thought that she was into S&M and that I was going to be a disappointment to her. I smiled in relief but I was very confused. 

"I don't understand. If you wanted someone who was into rough sex, why did you pick me? You say you knew that it would be hard for me. And by the way, I enjoyed it very much, thank you. I wouldn't want a steady diet of it but it was fun."

She looked into my eyes before she continued.

"What I want to do now is to have you make love to me. What we just did was special for me and before this cruise is over, I'll explain it to you. But from now on, we make love or we just fuck, depending on how we feel. No demands, no commitments. OK?"

I looked into her eyes and wondered how she could even ask that. All she had to do was look into a mirror. Any man would consider her words a prayer answered. I grinned like a teenager and gave her my mature, considered answer: "Hell yes!"

The rest of the cruise was magnificent. Rachael and I spent more and more time together while the two girls were content to have a lot of freedom. There was nothing on the cruise that could be a problem and Rachael and I always knew when, where, who with and what the girls were planning. We were responsible but we also were having fun.

By the time the ship was steaming toward San Diego, I thought it was time to make some future plans. Over the past two weeks, I had come to the belief that Rachael was someone I wanted to spend more time with. It appeared that she was free, fun and available for a higher level of commitment than we had shared on the boat. I felt that she was everything I wanted or needed. We were about the same age, she was beautiful and a lot of fun, we were certainly compatible in bed and we shared many of the same interests. She adored Mickey and they got along well. This was a case where my perception of Rachael could not possibly change.

The night before we were to dock, Rachael and I had spent several hours in bed together. She seemed highly agitated and couldn't seem to get enough of me. I had no complaints but I finally had to ask her what was wrong. We were laying together, just recovering from a bout of mind-blowing sex.

"Rachael, love, tell me what's going on. I know you're upset about something. Did I do or say something wrong?" 

She reached for my arm and pulled it tight to her breast as she looked at me. She finally seemed to come to some conclusion.

"Stuart, do you remember when Susan introduced me as her Aunt Rachael? Well, she forgot to tell you there was an Uncle Jack. I'm married. My husband's name is Jack Willows."

I was stunned! Married? She had no ring. She never mentioned a husband. I was in shock! I wasn't able to say anything. I just stared at her with my mouth open and my cock deflating like a pricked balloon. 

"I'm sorry to tell you like this. I wasn't going to but I'm afraid that I'm beginning to fall in love with you and I can't let that happen. I'll try to explain to you what's going on."

"First, I never expected to meet anyone like you. This cruise was just supposed to give me time to cool down and time away from Jack to try to decide what I want to do. You see, I found out that Jack was cheating on me with his secretary. How lame is that? Well, we had a furious argument and I made him leave the house. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and we hadn't had time to talk about it. I just wanted him gone."

She got up and slipped on her robe. I hated to see her cover up that wonderful body but I guess under the circumstances, it was probably best. I followed suit and went to get some coffee from the decanter on the counter. We could both use some.

"I finally got my temper under control and we talked. He swore it was over and that he never wanted me to find out. He apologized and promised to do anything I wanted, like marriage counseling and such. I listened but I wasn't sure what he could do that would make things right. I told him to move back home but to stay in the guest room. We have no children so it wasn't an issue for us."

"It was about that time that my sister Paula, Susan's mother, called to ask me if I wanted to take a cruise free. All I would have to do was share the cruise with Susan and sort of watch her. She told me about Michelle and you and made it seem like a free vacation. I saw it as time away from Jack and time to think."

She stopped to see how I was taking this. I have to admit, I was beginning to become interested in where this was going. We had shared a wild and wonderful couple of weeks or more together and I would welcome her into my life on a more permanent basis but that was if she wanted it. I still wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"You were so wonderful Stuart, and very attractive and I thought to myself that this might be a way to even the score with Jack. I admit that at the beginning that was what I wanted. That's why I told you to take me the first time hard and fast. I wanted it to be partly out of my control, and less like cheating willingly. You did it, and I was grateful that you tried to be rough with me but you couldn't. It was actually very sweet. You made my betrayal of my marriage vows as pleasant and painless as it could possibly have been. I will always remember you that way. And the sex was really fantastic. I think you were even better than Jack. But, he's my husband and I promised for better or worse. This affair of his was him at his worst. I have to forgive him and try again."

"I need for you to forgive me for deceiving you. I have loved every minute of my time with you and I will never regret one minute. I hope you can forgive me for using you and remember me fondly. I know that I will always love you a little."

Now that it was out, I wasn't sure how to react. I was falling in love by the end of the first week and I had convinced myself that this was going to be the woman for me. I had visions of our life together and I was beginning to be happy again. My beliefs had once again failed me. My perception of Rachael and our future was wrong. 

"Rachael. I understand and I do forgive you. I hate it, because I also was falling in love with you but I know that you have to try again. That's who you are and I respect that. I won't wish you luck because I honestly hope you will come back to me if it doesn't work out."

"Thank you Stu. I want you to know how much this time has meant to me. I think you were the perfect person to help me to find my way back. I knew after the first few days that I could trust you completely. I should have been honest with you but I didn't think you could do what we did if you had known I was married. You're just not that kind of guy and I don't want you to feel guilty now. I took advantage of you. But, I'll never forget you."

Well, we got dressed and went to find the girls. This last night we would spend as friends rather than as lovers. It was only right and I probably would have had problems now that I knew she was married. I honestly hoped that she would get tired of that son of a bitch she was married to and give me a call. I gave her all of my numbers and she promised to call anyway just to let me know how things were going. She even hinted that we could get together again after we docked if I wanted. I wanted but didn't tell her that. She needed to have a clear head to deal with her marriage. I actually hoped it worked for her down deep in my heart. Shit!

Number Four: Sherrie

Well, the boat docked and we all parted before going ashore. Rachael told me that Jack would be there to pick her up and she would just as soon not have him see or meet me. He would probably get very suspicious when he saw me. I agreed, kissed her privately before we left the deck and wished her well. I reminded her of my numbers and told her to keep them safe. She promised to call in a week, just to update me. I watched her walk up to the railing on the top deck to join Susan and Mickey. I stayed back in the shadows as they looked out and Mickey seemed to understand. She came back to stand with me and we waited a reasonable time after the boat docked before leaving the boat ourselves.

At home, Mickey contacted all of her friends and I contacted my receptionist to schedule my appointments for the next week. I was back to work, still single and still confused. As a high-priced shrink, my ability to understand and predict women was really piss poor. At least when they applied to me. I seemed to have no trouble fixing other people's problems but my own? No dice.

Things went as normal for the next two years. We had taken a couple of vacations since the cruise but always together and never with another chaperone. I was just as happy since I was not ready to try again. After one crappy marriage and two aborted relationships and probably three dozen one or two date tries, I was convinced that I was doomed to die single. Mickey always told me that I was too picky about women and wanted to fix me up with some of her friend's single mothers. I declined. She gave up.

Graduation was coming up soon and Mickey and I began to make the tour of colleges. She was bright as hell and her high school grades were always top notch. Her SATs were very good and she had her choice of all of the top schools. She wasn't sure where she wanted to go but she was leaning toward Princeton. She had a girlfriend that had gone there the year before and she sent Mickey pictures and brochures and all the stuff she needed to give her the bug. I had no problem since that was where I graduated from but it was not my place to guide her that way. Sure. If you believe that . . . 

I wanted to be sure that I had all of the paperwork in place for Mickey's tuition. It was to be paid out of the trust fund that I had set up for her all those years ago. It was more than sufficient to pay all of her bills and I had a trustee arrangement with my law firm and they would handle all of the payments. The trustee assigned was a woman by the name of Sherrie Duquesne. She was about five years younger than me, very attractive in a sexy kind of way, fairly tall at 5"8". She had very interesting eyes, a gold/brown that seemed to have some kind of gold flecks that sparkled when she smiled and reddish blonde hair. I had never seen that combination before and it hit me like a ton of bricks. But of course, you see where this is going. I always fell like a ton of bricks for certain women. None of them were the right women but how the hell did I know that? I know what you think: as a trained Psychiatrist, I should know people. I should be able to tell a lot about them just by talking and listening. Doesn't work for me!

Anyway, I worked with Sherrie for a few weeks, setting up targets and preset spending limits and we wanted to issue a couple of credit cards as well with limits and presets. She was very good at her job and we were able to have everything in place before Mickey and I set out to investigate Princeton. I liked her and she seemed to like me but we kept it all business. I was still not willing to put it out there like I did with Helen and Rachael. Karen was another story. 

Mickey and I flew into Newark, NJ and rented a car for the trip south to Princeton. Princeton University was in the town of Princeton, NJ and the trip from Newark took only about an hour or so, down the NJ turnpike to exit 8a. I drove down 13 for a ways and then crossed over through Plainsboro to Rt. 1 and we were there. We had reservations at the Sheraton on Route 1 for the evening and we wanted to take some time to see the campus and the town. We were on a tight schedule because I had a couple of court appearances scheduled for later in the week. I wanted to get as much done tomorrow as I could. We made it to the hotel and checked in. Neither of us was tired even though it was three hours later here than at home. So, at 7:00 p.m. that evening we were driving around Princeton and looking at the wonderful old brick buildings. We went down Faculty Place, along the river where so many of the sculling races took place and found a parking place so we could walk up into the campus. It was all I remembered it to be and it brought back some very sweet memories. I was pleased to see that Mickey was as taken by it as I was. I took her past the house where Albert Einstein lived when he taught there. We spent an hour or so just looking around before heading back to the hotel. We stopped for something to eat at a Ruby Tuesday's nearby before resting up for tomorrow.

The next day went very well. Mickey saw the campus, talked with the Registrar and I arranged with one of the professors that I had remained in touch with for a tour. Mickey loved it and we finished the day with her pretty much sold on Princeton. I was pleased and tired but ready for the trip home that evening. We made the trip to Newark, turned in the car and got to the airport with time to spare. We made it home by late that night but both of us were satisfied. It had been a great trip and I enjoyed the time with my daughter. We still enjoyed each other and that was a great gift in itself. 

********* 

The school year passed and Mickey graduated with honors. I went to graduation as a proud father and was proud as hell when she walked across that stage. I couldn't help but stand up and clap. I wasn't alone! I was surprised and shocked to see Karen standing up and watching our daughter receive her diploma! I had no idea she was coming and no idea she even knew we were alive. I looked inside myself to see what I felt and was pleased to find nothing there that I couldn't control. Karen was just a woman I used to know and someone who knew Mickey. Sure she was. I remained for the rest of the ceremony, still glowing with pride for my little girl.

After the ceremony, I walked over to where she was standing and spoke to her in a surprisingly steady voice. "Hello Karen. I'm surprised to see you here. How did you know about Mickey's graduation? Did someone invite you?"

"Hello Stuart. It's good to see you looking so well. It's been almost 15 years, hasn't it? Yes, I was invited. Michelle invited me. I guess you didn't know that she and I have stayed in contact over the years. Just to exchange addresses, nothing more. I'm surprised you didn't know."

"No, I didn't, but then that was between you and Mickey. She had every right to invite you. I may have if I had known where you were."

"I very much doubt that, but thanks for understanding. I have my own shop now, in the valley. I help professional decorators with acquiring rare antiques and other amenities for those with the money to pay. But you have no need to worry. I have no intention of interfering in my daughter's life. I gave that right away some time ago. I just wanted to see her graduate. You have done a wonderful job raising her by yourself. Congratulations."

"Thank you. She's a wonderful kid and I couldn't be more proud. She's probably told you she's been accepted at Princeton for this fall. It was her choice but I was pleased. We went back to see it a few months ago and she fell in love with it, just as I hoped she would." 

"Well, that must have been a pleasant surprise for you. Your old alma mater. Well, she'll do well. She got your brains."

"And your looks. Thank God."

We both laughed a little but we had exhausted our reservoir of small talk. Karen gave me her card with her contact numbers but she only suggested that I keep it for emergencies, not for keeping in touch. I was spared from any more reminiscing by the arrival of Mickey, Sarah in tow. She came directly up to us.

"Hi you two. I see you found each other. Dad, I'm going to lunch with mom and Sarah. Do you want to join us?"

She looked hopeful but I quickly squelched that. 

"No thanks. You guys go and have fun. I'll see you at home later?"

She agreed with a sad smile and then they were gone. I was still trying to recover from my shock when I heard a voice behind me.

"Who was that woman with Mickey? I've never seen her before. Someone you know?"

It was Sherrie. She had come to the graduation. Again, I was surprised. It seemed this was the day for surprises. I wouldn't have been shocked to see Helen or Rachael at this point.

"Hi, Sherrie. I didn't know you were coming to Mickey's graduation. Did she invite you too?"

"As a matter of fact, she did. I wanted to be here anyway since it's the beginning of a new time for her. I remember mine like it was yesterday. What's up?"

"Well, that woman was Mickey's mother, Karen. I haven't seen or talked to her for about 15 years. I didn't even know where she was living but apparently Mickey did. She invited her too."

"I see. Well, this is an important time for Mickey and I guess she wanted her mother to see it. I don't blame her, but she probably should have alerted you to this possibility. Do you think she had more in mind?"

"I have no idea. I know nothing about Karen's life now and don't care. She and I were divorced for reasons that I won't go into, but suffice it to say I have no interest in any contact with her. But that's enough about her. What about you? Do you have any plans for the rest of the morning? Seems I'm free for a while. Want to grab a bite to eat?"

"I'd love it. I'm alone so we can leave anytime. Should I follow you?"

"Why not just come with me and I'll bring you back for your car later."

We went to a small restaurant that I frequented and had a delightful lunch and conversation. While Sherrie and I had spent several hours together going over the trust for Mickey, we had not spent any time together outside the law offices. This was a pleasant first visit and I found that I enjoyed her company. We got to know a lot about each other. For instance, she had been married once before, just as I had. The reasons for her divorce were similar to mine, except that her husband had cheated where my wife was the wandering spouse. She had been divorced for just more than five years to my 15. She had no children and the divorce was amicable. They remained friends but not close. 

As she talked, I found myself admiring the view. She was a remarkably beautiful woman and I had fallen for that hair color of hers. She wore it loose today, flowing across her shoulders and down her back. I wanted to run my fingers through it just watching her toss her head as she talked. She had the habit of pushing it back from her face as she got excited. When she looked at me, I was stunned by her eyes and those gold flecks that caught the lights. I was smitten. As usual. 




Reality or Perception



When it was time to leave, I drove her back to her car. As she began to move to leave, I asked her.

"Would you like to have dinner with me sometime this week?"

She stopped, hesitated and finally turned to look back at me.

"I would love to have dinner with you, but I would rather cook for you myself. Would that be OK?"

"That would be just fine with me. When would be best for you?"

"How about 7:00 this Wednesday?"

"It's a date. Have a wonderful day."

With that, I drove home and tried to decide how I was going to wait till Wednesday. It was four whole days away. I couldn't wait.

In the meantime, I waited for Mickey to come home. She had some explaining to do about Karen. I wanted details. I didn't like surprises like today. 

When Mickey and I got into it, I learned that she had heard from her mother one Christmas about five years ago. It seems her mother had called her to wish her a merry Christmas and to ask if she could meet her somewhere for a short visit just to let her mother see her. It had been nine years at that time since Mickey had seen her mother. She probably didn't even remember her since she would have been less than three years old at the time. They met and had been staying in contact ever since. It was Karen's idea to keep me in the dark. She felt I wouldn't approve if I knew. I told Mickey that Karen had visitation rights but never used them. Mickey told me that was because Karen got into drugs and other stuff after the divorce and she didn't want Mickey exposed. She had cleaned herself up seven years ago and made contact shortly after that.

It seems Karen was single and had worked in a Dentist's office in Simi Valley somewhere for about five years, up until the time she started her own business. Apparently she had done pretty well for herself and was well thought of in her industry, but she had few friends and she didn't socialize much anymore. Mickey said she seemed sad and didn't seem to expect much from her. She was very pleased when Mickey invited her to graduation and more so when Mickey asked her to lunch. She had no intentions of meeting me and was not pleased when I spotted her. Mickey said that it was too painful for Karen to see me and remember. I wasn't surprised. 

I considered all that Mickey told me and finally agreed that it was a good thing for her to stay in contact with Karen. She was her mother and as such, they should know each other. I refused to meet with her as Mickey proposed and she finally dropped it. She understood that I was never going to forgive Karen and that I wanted nothing more to do with her. 

Wednesday came and I went to Sherrie's place for dinner. She had a small place: I think they called them cottage homes. It was a two bedroom, single story home with a nice sized great room. It had a small dining room and that's where we ate. Sherrie had prepared a wonderful meal. Steak, potato, tomato and cucumber salad and a slice of lemon meringue pie. We finished it off with good conversation and a light wine. I was pleasantly stuffed and the wine was a perfect finisher. We retired to the couch in the great room.

"That was magnificent. Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed everything. You are a good cook, as well as a beautiful one." 

"Compliments are gratefully accepted. I'm glad you enjoyed the meal and the cook. Can I get you anything else? Coffee?"

"I'm fine. Just sit her with me while I try to digest some of that steak."

She smiled and tucked her legs under her as we relaxed. It was a pleasant silence and I enjoyed the view out her back patio doors. It was just getting dark and I could see a small arroyo, now dry. It was probably home to some fox, rabbits and small rodents. These small dried up streams were common around this area. 

We were talking quietly when I gathered my courage and put my arm around her shoulders. She continued to talk but she moved closer and rested her head on my shoulder. Encouraged, I pulled her tighter against me and after several moments of silence, I bent down and kissed her upturned lips. She returned the kiss, moving her hand behind my head. She turned into me and the kisses became more passionate and demanding. I was more than willing to continue this in the bedroom but I was afraid to propose that this early in a budding relationship. I needn't have worried. She beat me to it.

She stood up and reached for my hand. She smiled at me as she led me down the hall and into what was apparently her bedroom. It was small, with a queen-sized bed, a dresser and two end tables. I could see a closet and a door that I assumed led to the bath. The bedspread was a pink comforter and the pillows were big and fluffy. It looked like a woman's bedroom but at the moment I didn't care. I had eyes only for her.

She stopped in front of the bed and began to remove her blouse and skirt. I watched, mesmerized, as she placed them, neatly folded on the small chair next to the bed. She had on a tiny bra and cotton panties. She sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out her hand to me. I moved forward and watched as she unbuckled my belt and unsnapped my pants. She used both hands to push my pants down to my ankles. I stepped out of them and just kicked them away as I removed my shirt. Unfortunately, my cool was destroyed by the tent in my boxers from my cock that was now struggling to get free of its confinement. She obliged by slipping her hands inside the waistband of my boxers and pulling them down over my now happily waving cock. 

She sat back and looked at my cock, now only inches from her face. She reached one hand up to take it and moved up and down the shaft. She ran her finger over the pre cum on the tip and I felt my knees begin to buckle. She looked into my eyes and smiled. I thought she might take me into her mouth, but instead, she moved up onto the bed and lay down on her back. She looked at me expectantly with her arms held out waiting for me to mount her. I knelt on the bed and moved into position, between her spread legs. 

She nodded her approval and I put my hands on both sides of her to support my weight as she took my cock in her hands again to rub it against her slit. She was already wet and apparently lubricated enough that she was ready for me to enter her. I waited as she positioned me and when she withdrew her hands I pushed into her. I entered her easily and she moaned in a mixture of pleasure and pain while she closed her eyes and scrunched up her face. I watched her as she adjusted and I saw her face soften. I was beginning to move inside her and she was now enjoying it. I began to move, trying to give her as much pleasure as I could before I lost control. It had been a while for me and apparently for her as well. We were adjusting together.

After about three or four minutes of tentative movement, she was fully relaxed enough to put her legs around my waist and start to pull me in as I pushed. As I pulled back, she raised her hips to follow me and in this way, we established a nice rhythm. We were now fucking, both of us doing the work. It was great. I began to increase the pace and she began to breathe faster and faster. After a few more minutes of plunging inside her, she was panting. I decided to finish this, giving it to her fast and hard. I told her so.

"Just do it. I want you to fuck me so hard. So hard. Do it! Do it! Fuck meeeeeee. Oh, God, I'm cumminnnnnnggg."

I was not ready yet so I gave it to her with all I had. I was now pulling almost completely out and then ramming back into her as hard and as fast as I could. I was building up to a climax but I wanted to ride hers first. When I felt her beginning to come down, I let myself go. I gave one more hard, deep thrust and I felt the seed shoot into her womb in what seemed gallons. I held myself buried inside her as far as I could go as I emptied my sperm deep inside her. It seemed like hours until I was finished, but finally I came down to earth. 

As we lay together afterwards, Sherrie told me that she had wanted to make love with me since the first day I came into the firm. When she was assigned to my trust for Mickey, she was ecstatic. As she came to know me she was even more ready to become my lover. I was surprised but quite happy. I hadn't honestly thought much about her other than as an extremely beautiful woman, and with my past track record, I wasn't thinking much about anything else. Sherrie changed that very quickly. 

As I listened to her talk, I noticed myself becoming more and more aroused. I liked the feeling and let it build as she talked. When she asked me what I was thinking, I took her hand in mine and put it on my now erect and engorged cock. She gave a little squeal of pleasure and threw one leg over me and mounted me. She sat down on my hardness and began to scoot forward and backward until she was wet. As my cock became coated with her juices, she raised up, took me in her hand and guided me inside her pussy. She settled down, taking it all inside and began to move up and down on my shaft. I put my hands behind my head and watched her as she slowly fucked me. I was content to let her control the action for a while as I watched the pleasure pass over her beautiful face. 

She was beginning to become aroused and I could see her eyes clinch shut. I decided to help her out and reached up to pinch her nipples between my thumb and fingers. She seemed to enjoy this as her moans increased in frequency and in intensity. I was now helping her by raising my hips up to meet her and she was bouncing now with some urgency. I could feel her muscles begin to squeeze my cock as she got closer and closer to a climax. I was able to stay calm since I had cum once and I wanted to help her achieve a mind-blowing climax. I rubbed her tits and pinched her nipples as I helped her ride me. She was now bouncing as fast as she could while uttering a continuous low moan of pleasure. She suddenly stopped, sat down hard on my cock and grabbed my wrists, keeping my hands on her tits. She was rigid as her climax took her but I could feel her interior muscles milking my cock trying to pull out any fluids that were present. She finally collapsed on me with a huge sigh. She was panting and her chest was heaving indicating the depth of her climax. 

Once she was able to breathe again and make coherent words, she turned to me.

"You didn't cum with me that time, did you?"

"No, but I wanted to watch you as you did. You were incredibly beautiful. I loved it."

"That's fine, but I want you to cum too. What can I do to help you?"

"Would you mind getting up on your hands and knees?"

"You mean doggy style?

"Yes. Is that OK with you?"

"Well, I've never done it that way but I'm willing to try. Just tell me what to do."

I showed her how to position herself and then moved behind her until I was positioned just about right. I then took one of her hands and put it on my cock, telling her to place it. She did, and I felt the head slide inside her. I now had the position and I began to slam into her. I was not going to be very gentle and I told her so. She simply told me to go for it. I continued to pump into her for a few minutes as I admired the view. She did have a marvelous ass. I could see her breasts swinging as I plowed into her and I had to bend over and take them in my hands. 

This was wonderful. She seemed to be into it and I was now beginning to feel my orgasm coming on strong. I warned her that I was cumming and she began to push back against me on each stroke. I couldn't last very long now and finally came for the second time. She felt my spurts of cum and that seemed to drive her over the edge again. She let out a scream that would have woken the dead. I let out my own groans and finally slumped over her, exhausted and spent. 

She had come three times and I, twice. It was perfect for the first time together. I knew then that this was not going to be the last time. I told her that and she agreed. 

We dated for some time before it became clear that I was head over heels in love with her and she surprisingly felt the same about me. I proposed and she accepted. We were married in a civil ceremony with just a few guests, one of which was my daughter, Michelle. Mickey was 17 and headed for college. She liked Sherrie but didn't think I should have married her. In her words, 'Bed her but don't wed her, dad!' I wasn't sure whether to be shocked or angry so I just laughed. 

Sherrie and I had discussed children but neither of us wanted any so that was fine with me. I was getting to the age where children were a hassle and I didn't need another hassle in my life. I had my hands full with my practice and a wife five years my junior. Before you ask, I'll tell you: our sex life was excellent. The only thing unusual is that Sherrie would only have sex vaginally. No oral, no anal, just straight vaginal. Straight in almost any position we could think of and we had tried all of them. I had plenty of experience as my first wife was very demanding and hard to satisfy in bed so I learned a lot of tricks. Sherrie was never bored and I think my sex drive was stronger than hers. She never complained once. Well, sometimes she was sore after some of our marathon sessions but she always said it was a 'good' sore. 

That was why I was so surprised when I came home that Friday night to find her sitting in our kitchen with a stud. No question about it. Brian Market was a stud! More suitable to my daughter than my wife for God's sake! The way she was laughing and the way she looked at him made me nervous. I think that's why I said what I did that night. I didn't like what I saw and I didn't like what I was feeling. I had to put a stop to it right then and there. That was my reason for reacting as I did. 

It was about a month later that I got a call from a lawyer that I had worked with before asking me to come out and meet a client of his. It was someone quite well known and he had done something so out of character that Jess wanted me to talk to him. He was leaning toward an insanity defense, 'heat of the moment' style. I agreed as he offered to double my usual fee. I made plans to go on Wednesday of next week and spend a day with his client. We both thought that was sufficient.

I told Sherrie about the trip and told her it was in Denver. I asked if she would like to go with me but she reminded me that Mickey was coming home for a break and would be in this weekend and planed to stay the whole week. She had some plans in the works and didn't want to break them. I agreed and told her to take Mickey out for a shopping spree on me since the double fee would take care of anything they could spend in a day. She laughed happily and said she would help Mickey spend some of my fee. Things seemed to be perfect.

Mickey came home and I was happy to see her and spend some time with her. She was so mature and she was very satisfied with Princeton. She had made several new friends and had joined a study group. She couldn't stop talking about it and both Sherrie and I listened in rapt attention. Things couldn't have been any better. 

While I made plans to take the flight out the first thing next morning, I asked Sherrie what her plans were for her and Mickey. She mentioned the shopping trip and also that Marilyn had planned a small party with Mickey and some of her old friends. Marilyn's daughter was going to college locally and would be there as well. I didn't even think of the previous episode. It had been several months since that and I had forgotten completely. So as I boarded my flight, I was content. 

I got to Denver and Jess met me at the airport. He took me to see his client and I was surprised as soon as I saw who it was. Very famous and very well known! My lips are sealed. Well, we started to talk and he began to explain his actions in terms of what and why. I was just beginning to understand when Jess came in, telling me to just wait outside the room for a few minutes. I was surprised, but I went. 

After about 10 minutes and a visit from someone I thought might be the prosecutor, Jess came out with a huge smile on his face. 

"Guess what? They dropped the charges and the prosecutor is dismissing. The state has no further interest in proceeding. It's over. Oh, don't look so shocked. You know who he is. I'd place money on the fact that he got to the guy he shit on. Money can do wonders. And by the way, here's your check for the full amount. He had no problem paying up."

The check was correct and I was free. I decided to take Jess up on his offer of an early dinner at his club. We spent a good two hours just catching up and he picked up the check, telling me that it was going on his client's tab. I had no reservations since I had given up a day with my daughter for that shithead. We left and Jess drove me to the airport. I was able to book a flight for later that afternoon, putting me home just after 8:00 p.m..

As I drove home, I smiled at the day. It had taken me only 14 hours to make $50,000 and I could spend the night at home in my own bed. All in all it was a good deal. I pulled out my cell and called home. There was no answer. That was not surprising since I remembered that Sherrie and Mickey were going to be at Marilyn's for the party. I called Sherrie's cell phone and she answered right away. 

"Hi babe. Where are you? At Marilyn's place?"

"Yeah, we're having a good time. There must be 20 youngsters here and Mickey seems to be having a good time. She was here just a minute ago but I don't see her now. Oh, well, she's around. I'll be home later, probably about 11:00 if you want to call. What did you . . . Sorry, I have to go. Seems to be a crisis. See you later honey."

With that she hung up and I smiled. I knew what those parties could turn into. Well, I would just let it be a surprise for Sherrie when she came home and found me there. I thought we could have some fun tonight. Mickey's room was on the first floor and we were upstairs so we could make some noise. I turned down my street with the smile still on my face. 

As I came within sight of my house, I saw the car. It was the same car I saw one time before this! It was the same car that Brian Market drove! I was positive when I pulled into my drive just behind it. I stopped the car and tried to get my hands to stop shaking while I tried to get my head around this. Sherrie told me she was at Marilyn's place. She told me she wouldn't be home till after 11:00. Yet, here was Brian's car and I could see lights on downstairs. As I watched, they went out. I flashed back to the last time this happened and our conversation. She knew! She knew that this couldn't happen again! She said she understood and that it would never happen. Now it had. What was I going to do?

At that instant, I felt something inside me snap. I was a psychiatrist and I felt myself lose control. I knew it was happening and I knew why it was happening but even with my training, I couldn't stop it. I had a psychotic break. The first thing that came to mind was to kill someone. That was my military training talking. I hadn't gone so far that I would let that happen. I tried to think but my mind was full of whirling colors and sounds, nothing useful. I had to act and my mind knew it. It could have gone any number of ways but in my case, it was 'run.' Run as far and as fast as I could.

I backed my car out of the drive and started down the street. I had no goal in mind, only that I had to get away, as far away as I could. Where to go? Where? I drove blindly, controlling the car simply by instinct. I was going nowhere. It must have been 10 minutes later when I noticed a blinking sign for the 'Palms Motel'. It was a goal, a place to be. I pulled in and registered. Once in the room, I sat down in the dark on the bed and just let my mind spin. I felt hot tears and then blessed darkness. I slept, dreamless from mental and emotional exhaustion.