22 comments/ 163469 views/ 21 favorites Porsha Ch. 01 By: The Wanderer The Wanderer If you're looking for a stroke story then don't look here. This story did start life as a one of my Nemesis series but it kind of metamorphosed as I wrote it. I thank my LadyCibelle and Techsan for their patience, proof reading, editing skills and of course their encouragement. As always I must also add, that I can never leave a story alone. I will most likely add some cock-ups on my read through after they have seen it. I entered the plush office suite with more than a little trepidation and tried my best to look confident as I walked over to the reception desk and announced that I was Mrs. Morris and I had a 10 o'clock appointment with Mr. White. The young receptionist smiled up at me and asked me if I wouldn't mind taking a seat for a few minutes as Mr. White was running a little late. Taking a seat in one of the large armchairs I settled myself down and picked up a magazine. I knew I was too worked up and wouldn't actually be able read to it but I could try to look like I was. Sitting there I could do nothing but run over in my mind just how my life had led to this meeting. As a teenager I'd been one hell of a looker. In college I could turn most of the guys' heads. But really I was what you might call repressed; I never let my emotions get the better of me. It was one thing to have the guys chasing you but I was never into trusting any of them. I had no intention of letting any of them get into my pants. So I held them all at arm's length. Don't go thinking I was a stick in the mud, I was out dancing with my friends almost every night. I went to parties all the time and I had quite a few boyfriends. But if any of them thought they were getting anything out of me, they had another think coming. I had ears, I had heard the guys talking; as soon as a guy 'got lucky', as they liked to put it, It was all around college in no time and the poor girl who had 'put out' rapidly got herself the reputation as a slapper or a slut. That was never going to happen to me. I was nineteen and at a party when I first came across Jack Morris. For some reason I had never seen him before, but it quickly became apparent that most of my friends had. He wasn't particularly handsome but he certainly stood out from the crowd. Everyone appeared to know him as he slowly worked the room, dancing with a few girls on the way around. I did note that he only seemed to dance to slow numbers and I was pretty sure that it was the girls who were asking him to dance. A couple of times I saw girls who were dancing with one guy walk over to Jack when a slow dance started, effectively ditching the guy they had been dancing with. I pointed this out to my friend Sheila and asked if she knew what was going on. "Oh, that's Jack," she replied. "He's a gentleman. Look, once you get to know Jack, if you get stuck with a sleaze ball, you can rely on Jack to help you out. You start talking to, or dance with Jack and he'll stay with you until the sleaze-ball loses interest. He'll even escort you home if you want him to; you watch, Jack will have a carload of girls when the party ends tonight." "What is he, a kind of knight errant or something? Doesn't he have girlfriends of his own?" "Of course he does but he's a gentleman. If a girl gets drunk or needs assistance, Jack will always make sure she gets home in one piece and with her virtue intact. You can always trust Jack Morris." "Doesn't he ever, you know?" "Don't be silly, Porsha, of course he does. He's a man just like the rest of them. But he behaves himself. He never takes advantage and, more importantly, he never discusses what happens in private. And take my word for it, he's fantastic in bed. He's choosy though. Any girl who gets herself a reputation doesn't stand a chance with Jack." "Have you ever?" "Yeah, you bet. Last Christmas I went out with him a few times. God, what a difference to most of these twerps. I learnt a few things form Jack, I can tell you. It was the best sex I've ever had. But then I made the mistake of going with Phil Clarke to the New Year's dance because Jack was away at some family thing. Clarkie must have bragged about us having had sex because Jack never called me again. He still talks to me but he has never asked me out since. I tried asking him to the Valentines dance but he said he couldn't make it. That pig Phil Clarke ruined my chances with Jack." This Jack Morris sounded just like my sort of guy, although the thought of having sex with him never entered my head. But he sounded like the safe kind of boyfriend I had always dreamed about. I watched him circulate and eventually he came to where Sheila and I were dancing. Sheila grabbed him straight away and they disappeared into the throng on the dance floor for a few minutes. When they came back, Sheila introduced me to him. We talked for a little while and I picked out his chat up lines but before we got too friendly another girl suddenly grabbed his arm, with a quick apology, he was gone. I was disappointed and Sheila noticed. She asked me whether I fancied Jack and when I told her I'd like to get to know him a bit, Sheila disappeared into the crowd for a couple of minutes, and when she returned she gave me the news that we had a lift home with Jack. I was pleased about that, as I thought we'd get to know each other on the way home. Unfortunately that wasn't to happen as there were eight of us girls crammed into that car with Jack and several of the others apparently had the same idea as I had. I didn't see Jack for about a month after that. Then I was waiting at a bus stop in the pouring rain one day when a car pulled up. You know the scenario. The car stopped and I pretended it wasn't there. Strangers don't pick me up in the street. But then I heard someone call my name and it turned out to be Jack. He offered me a lift home and on the way he asked me whether I'd like to go for a meal one evening. This was different for me. Most guys would ask if you wanted to go to the pictures or out for a drink. Meals to them were the quick trip to the Wimpy bar, but Jack was talking about the top restaurant locally. The place my mum and dad usually went to. I'd been there with them but I'd never had a guy take me there. Of course most of the guys I'd gone out with couldn't afford to buy a meal there anyway. So that Friday evening I was treated to my first proper romantic dinner. And Jack pulled out all the stops. Jesus, Jack was so different to all the boys I'd been out with before. You know, before the end of the meal I knew that this was one guy who wasn't going to get away if I had anything to do with it. After the meal he took me to "Caesars" the best nightclub in town. It's a private club and had a casino upstairs and a dance floor and bar downstairs. It was one of those places that you had to be a member to get in and it appeared that Jack was a member. He told me later that a relative of his owned the nightclub and the big 'Central Hotel' next door. Looking back now, I wish I'd remembered he'd said that. Ever the gentleman Jack took me home about one A.M. he kissed me politely and bid me goodnight. I was shocked he didn't try anything, not even a heavy snogging session. To be honest I was a little hurt. I really expected him to try something. I was even more hurt when he never asked for another date, but just kissed me and said goodnight. It was almost two weeks later when he called me. I quickly accepted his invitation for another meal. When we were eating he explained that he hadn't called me, as he hadn't really broken things off with his old girlfriend. She had gone away for a few weeks on some course or the other and he had to wait for her return before he could tell her he wanted to break up with her. She was on a course that had an exam at the end of it so it wouldn't have been fair to call her and tell her it was over. Apparently she did not have Jack's sense of duty, as the first thing she told him when she returned was that she had found someone else. Jack and I started going steady from then on. We never actually had sex but we got pretty close to it sometimes. After a year together we got engaged and we were married a month before my twentieth birthday. I'd finished college by then and had a good job in the sales department of a computer software company. Meanwhile Jack was working for some agency that represented foreign companies in England. Don't ask me what they did, but shortly after we got married Jack got promoted and started having to take trips abroad. It was quite good because, when I could get the time off from my job, I went with him at his company's expense. At one time they even offered to put me on the books, but both of us working for the same company was asking for trouble. As it stood, if one of our employers went to the wall, the other of us was earning enough to cover our expenses. I'd had our twin girls Sarah and Megan, eleven months after the wedding and they were followed up with twin boys Jack Jr. and Mark just over a year later. For a young couple we were making good money and had employed a nanny for the children so that I could get back to my job. I really liked my work and I was sure I was going somewhere. I wouldn't say Jack was that enthused with the idea of me going back to work so soon or with the idea of employing a nanny to look after the children. But I did tend to get my own way and he accepted that I wanted my career. Our sex life was pretty good. By that I mean we had sex often. Probably more often than some folks although sometimes I got the feeling that Jack would have liked me to be a little more adventurous. But I didn't go for all this oral stuff that people talk about. To me it seemed, I don't know, unnatural. Jack got me to try and suck his penis one time but I definitely felt uncomfortable doing it so I refused to do it again. A few times he went down on me but that just didn't seem right to me either; I was so tense I couldn't enjoy it if I had wanted to. Our lives went along quite smoothly until the boys were four years old, when Jack Jr. came down with meningitis. He died five days later and from then on things were never quite the same. Meningitis is one of those terrible things that happen in life. It was no one's fault that Jack Jr. contracted it but somehow I think that Jack and I each held ourselves responsible. Between us, Jack and I could fix most things; but neither of us could do anything for our baby. After we lost little Jack, we both seemed to concentrate more on the children and our jobs than we did on each other. Oh, don't get me wrong we loved each other and still had a pretty hectic sex life. Look, if you've had any children you know how they kind of take priority. With both Jack and I having good careers something had to lose out somewhere. The years flew past and things went really well. There was a new big house, trips to Disneyland with the kids and summer holidays in the Caribbean, all the things successful young families usually have. Our remaining three children did very well at school. I know Jack had a hell of a time when the girls got to the age when boys started showing interest. He's quite a conservative guy, my Jack. But before we realised it all three of our children were off at University and we were suddenly at home alone. Jack and I started to try and put our lives back together. Well, to be honest Jack did. I don't really think I tried as hard as I should have. My world was revolving around my job more and more; I was managing the sales department at my company by then and just a couple of steps away from getting onto the board. When the guy who owned the place where Jack worked retired, he put Jack in charge and he became the Head Honcho at the agency. That was good, as Jack's salary went through the roof, but it led to him spending more time travelling than ever and I couldn't go with him as much as I would have liked, since I was busy as well. I had to make a good few trips away, but they were in England, not like Jack's to the four corners of the globe. I was thirty-nine and Jack was forty-two and no matter how Jack tried we were growing further apart. One evening over dinner Jack told me it was decision time. "What do you mean Jack? What decision do we have to make?" I asked him. "About you and me, my love," he replied, "We surely can't go on like this. Either we both have to cut back on our work load and spend more time together or we are going to turn into complete strangers to each other." "I don't understand." "Look, Porsha, in the last month we haven't been out together once. Christ, I think I can count the evenings we have spent together on the fingers of one hand. We have to decide whether we want or need to work ourselves into the ground anymore. I know I want to spend more time with the woman I love." "Well, what do you want us to do?" "I don't really know, we could both retire or at least take things more easy. I know I could lay a lot of my work onto my subordinates. And I'm sure you could do the same. Look, maybe we both could arrange to take a couple of months off and go on that world cruise we've always talked about. You know, before we get to old to enjoy it." "Now hold on Jack. My boss is retiring this year. I've waited years for him to go. I'm in line for his job if I play my cards right. I can't afford to let up." "But you don't need the job. We've got enough stashed away to last us out." "That's easy for you to say but I've been working for this all my life. I was hoping to be the first woman on the board of directors. I'm sure I'm only a couple of years away from making it." "But in two years, we probably won't have a marriage left. Can't you see that?" "No, I can't. Why should our marriage break up?" "Because you care less and less about it, that's why. You care less and less about me as time goes on. You spend more time away from home now than I ever did. And you spend more time socialising with your company's clients now than ever." "Well, they like to deal with the boss." "No, they like to perv over you." "What the hell do you mean by that?" "Christ Porsha, as you have gotten older your neck-line has gone down and you skirt hem has gone up. I'm willing to place a bet that some of those clients of yours are hoping to get lucky, and to my mind the odds are one of them will!" "Are you mad? Do you really think I would......" "I don't know, Porsha! But to my mind, there's only one thing seems to bother you nowadays and that's getting the contract signed. One of these days someone is going to lay it on the line, and you are going to have to make an awkward decision or two. And I don't know what lengths you'd go to." "I would never do anything like that and I'm furious that you would think I would. I have always dressed nice but that doesn't make me a slut." "Yes, you always have dressed nicely, Porsha. You look gorgeous and you have always used your looks to get what you want. But I'm worried now, since it appears that what you want has taken priority over us. What you want has always been the most important thing to you and what you want more than anything nowadays is signatures on contracts. Nothing else appears to matter to you." "Oh, let's not get back onto the usual one. I was never the stay at home mum type and you know it." I knew that Jack was going to bring up me not staying at home whilst the children were growing up next. So I dived in on the subject first. In the next few hours just about everything came out. It was obvious that Jack had always thought I was being selfish when I went back to work so quickly after having the children. But I couldn't see the harm in my being successful in my career. I almost expected him to bring up the subject of Jack Jr. but he left that one out. I think it was the biggest argument that we had ever had. I was surprised that Jack was prepared to throw up his career if I gave up mine. But my job was what I lived for. For the next couple of weeks life at home was what you could only call tense. We talked to each other but there was that coldness in the air. Then a big deal came into the offering at work and I lost the plot about what was going on at home. For the next few weeks I was running around checking everything to make sure the deal would go down all right. I was getting home late and flying backwards and forwards to Manchester every couple of days. I never stayed overnight though. I would get the morning flight up and the evening flight back. Eventually the contract was signed and I had everyone at the office singing my praises. I was sure that when my boss retired I'd have his job. I was just about to call Jack and tell him the good news when I realised that I hadn't actually spoken to him for several days. We were passing each other like ships in the night; I realised that Jack was right. We were drifting apart and I suddenly realised I had to do something. Anything to show him I loved him and didn't want to lose him. So I decided my first move would be to surprise him at lunchtime and take him out for a meal. I drove across town to his office, but when I got up to the floor his office suit was on, the place was like the Marie Celeste with not a soul in sight. I was about to leave again when I remembered my swipe card. Jack had told me that the same card that opened his office at home opened the office at work. He had given me a card, as otherwise I would be locked out of the office at home. I let myself in with the idea of looking in Jack's appointment diary. If he were local, I would call him and join him for lunch. But once I got inside the outer office I realised that the place was not as deserted as had I thought. As I got close to Jack's office I could hear noises that I didn't like the sound of, coming from inside. Jack's private office is an all glass affair; the rest of the place is all open plan. Unusually the Venetian blinds were down on Jack's private domain. I moved closer and through a blind that wasn't quite properly closed, I could see some movement inside. It was Sally the office's girl Friday. She was apparently stark naked and was what I can only describe as jumping up and down on someone's lap. That someone was sitting on the large couch that Jack had in there. From my viewpoint I couldn't make out who the guy was but I very much suspected it was my so-called ever-loving husband. I don't know how or why, but I didn't go barging in there. I think I must have been too upset. I tried looking through the other windows but I couldn't get a good view of the man. But I did see his jacket hanging on the back of a chair. It was Jack's blue suit jacket. Especially ordered and made to measure, I'd know that jacket anywhere. I left the office at a run, the outer door banged closed behind me. I'm sure they must have heard it but I didn't care. On the way down in the lift I was crying. Was this what Jack had been trying to say to me? Had he been trying to tell me that if we didn't spend more time together he would look for company elsewhere? Or was he trying to set the stage for a divorce when we had that strange conversation that lead to that big argument? I was angry and hurt. I loved my husband and I thought he loved me but it looked like I was losing him. What was I going to do? Fight for him or accept that I had lost him. That night when I got home from the office Jack acted like he always did and that made me even more angry. I don't really know why I expected him to act differently since Jack could have had no idea that I had seen him and Sally at lunchtime. So why was I expecting him to act differently? With me biting my tongue, the evening went as usual with us hardly talking to each other. I didn't even tell him the contract was signed. Porsha Ch. 01 Two days later Jack called me at my office and asked me if I would like to go out to dinner that evening as he had a client and his wife visiting town. I knew he wanted me to sweet-talk the wife; I had done it a few times for him over the years. Out of spite I told him I couldn't make it as I had a late meeting. I could hear the disappointment in his voice at my answer. I did have a late meeting that day but I knew it would be over before 8 o'clock when the table was booked. Later in the day I had second thoughts. This was no way to win my husband back. I decided I would go straight to the restaurant after my meeting and join Jack and his clients there. I asked my secretary to call Jack and tell him I would be there as I went into my meeting. I rushed things a little and the meeting ended before seven, giving me plenty of time to get changed and meet Jack and his client. But when I got back to my office, my secretary had gone home and I found a note she had left me, saying that she had been unable to contact Jack. "Never mind," I thought, "I'll surprise him." I went straight to the private bathroom in my office and changed into something more suitable. I had got into the habit of leaving some nice evening clothes at work; it gave a good impression to the clients if I changed when we had evening meetings. Then I dashed across town to the Central Hotel where Jack had said we were having dinner. I walked into the hotel lobby at about five before eight and immediately I spied Jack sitting in the bar with Sonya, one of his assistants. They were sitting close together and their heads were almost touching as they whispered to each other, obviously enjoying some private joke, because they both had big smiles on their faces. Then I noticed that Jack was holding something in his hand; it was a jewellery presentation case. He handed it to Sally who opened it and her eyes lit up as she took out a rather grand and expensive looking diamond pendant necklace. After a few more little whispers and some vigorous head shaking saying no on Sonya's part and yes on Jack's part, she handed the necklace to Jack, who put it around her neck and fastened it. Sally turning her back to him so he could do so. I was somewhat surprised that she never saw me standing there, gaping at my husband giving the little tart a diamond necklace, but she was looking down at the pendant at the time. I took a step back behind a large potted plant so they wouldn't see me. Just what the hell was I going to do now, I didn't know. I couldn't really make a scene in the Central; it would be just too embarrassing, as my company used the place frequently for business lunches etc. Whilst I was thinking what to do, I noticed an old couple who I thought I vaguely recognised go into the bar. They joined Jack and Sonya then after a short conversation all four of them went into the restaurant. Lost in my thoughts I made my way back out to my car. Just what had happened to my marriage? In less than a week I'd found my husband having sex with one little tart and then giving another of his whores a diamond necklace. What the hell had come over the man? Or had he been playing the field behind my back for years? I sat in my car and cried myself silly for the next couple of hours. At about ten-thirty I saw Jack and Sonya come out of the hotel. 'Well at least they weren't sharing a room there tonight.' I thought, 'but I wondered if Jack's got a little love nest tucked away somewhere?' Before I had the chance to get out of the car to confront them, they got into a taxi. I tried to follow them, but I soon got caught at a set of traffic lights and the taxi disappeared into the distance. Mad at myself, for not being quick enough to catch them at the hotel entrance I drove home. I would have it out with Jack when he got home. I should have guessed they would stop off somewhere else, because midnight came and went and there was no sign of Jack. I went to bed thinking I'd catch him when he came to bed. I had no intention of sitting in the lounge all night. But I must have fallen asleep, because when I awoke it was morning, there was a cup of coffee by my bed and Jack was gone. He couldn't have been gone long, as the coffee was still hot. Then I had this vague recollection of Jack waking me and saying something, but I'm pretty slow to wake up in the mornings especially after a late night. Damn! Furious with myself for not staying awake the night before, I got up and went to work. Not that I really achieved much I was so angry with Jack. I called him at work, but Sally told me he would be out of the office until about three, since he was taking a client and his wife to the airport. "Oh, is he, and is Sonya going with him?" I asked in as sarcastic a tone of voice as I could muster. "No, Sonya can't go," Sally answered. "She left for Australia first thing this morning." "I suppose she will be able to get some sleep on the plane then; I doubt she got much last night." I couldn't resist the dig. But it must have gone completely over the dumb bitch's head. "Well, I should imagine Sonya is quiet tired," Sally replied. "After all she did have to go with Jack to that dinner last night. Jack was very disappointed you couldn't make it. But as you couldn't Sonya stepped in at the last moment." I wasn't expecting that. There was Sally telling me that Sonya had gone to the dinner with my husband the night before. "I would have gone but my mother's in hospital and I had to go and visit her," Sally added. What bloody next? Now the little cow was telling me she would have liked to go. "I'll bet you would, you little slut," I thought. "Do you want me to ask Jack to call you when he gets in?" Sally asked. "If you don't mind, Sally." "My pleasure, Porsha. Bye." "You silly little tart," I thought as I put the phone down, "I wonder If you know that Jack banged Sonya last night." It was about four in the afternoon when Jack finally called me back. I immediately told him we needed to talk about some things. He sounded confused but suggested that we go out for a meal that evening since I hadn't been able to make our anniversary. I was taken completely by surprise as I had forgotten that the previous day had been our wedding anniversary. Although I didn't think that excused him fucking Sonya. I was damn sure that's what he had done after I lost them. Shortly after I got off the phone to Jack a couple of my staff came in to tell me they had a problem with a contract they were trying to close. They had arranged to meet the clients that evening for a meal where they were hoping to thrash it out amicably. They wondered if I could come along in case things got sticky. I told them that I was going out with my husband that night but if they just happened to go to the same restaurant, they could liaise with me if they wished. It was the best I could do. Luckily the clients were staying at the Central where Jack and I were eating so that worked out fine. Although I wasn't sure how Jack was going to take it. When I got home from work I got showered and really made myself up. I was quite pleased with my efforts. I always look good, but that night I was sure I would have every one's attention. Jack was late home and explained that he had been caught up on the phone with a foreign client. I knew that he was always getting calls at strange hours. But in the back of my head I was really wondering whether Jack had stayed late in the office to give Sally her daily ration. When Jack and I arrived at the hotel there was no sign of my guys. Jack and I were eating our meal by the time they came in. As I thought, Jack was surprised to see them. "Did you know they were coming here?" he asked. "Yes, they are having a problem with the contract," I replied. "I thought if they needed any advice I could give it to them. You don't mind, do you?" I could see straight away that Jack did mind. "Well, I thought you wanted to talk about us, but it looks like your company is more important to you. This is our wedding anniversary dinner even if it is a day late." "I'm sorry, I forgot. But I've had a lot on my mind lately. Anyway you had a meal booked with clients last night!" "Not any clients, Porsha. George and Mildred Crowe. If you remember on our first wedding anniversary they just happened to be at the next table and it was their wedding anniversary as well and we celebrated together. They flew in yesterday especially to have a meal with us last night." "Why the hell didn't you tell me? I would have cancelled my meeting and come. I just forgot the date that's all." "You really have no idea, have you?" Jack asked. He had lost me again. "About what?" "About the way you shouted at me, down the phone when you told me you couldn't make dinner last night, as you had your oh so important late meeting. You nearly bit my bloody head off. That's what I've been telling you for months now. You hardly speak a civil word to me nowadays." Oh, Christ did I really shout at him on the phone? I know I was angry but I didn't mean to shout at him. I didn't want him to know that I knew about his philandering. Well, not yet anyway. "I'm really sorry, Jack, but you know that I've nearly got this big deal sorted. Once the contract is signed the pressure will be off." "No, it won't, Porsha. You take the pressure on yourself. You always have. You have to have everything done your way." I was getting angry again, Jack was winding me up now and to be honest I didn't have a reply for him. But just then one of my guys came over and asked some inane question. This was my chance. Jack and I had finished eating and we were waiting for our coffees to arrive. "Will you excuse me a moment, Jack? I'll just go and sort this out for them, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." I didn't give Jack a chance to reply. I jumped up walked over to join my staff and their clients. I thought I would only be a couple of minutes and I would think of a comeback for Jack whilst I was there. I'm pretty sure Jack was furious because I could see the expression on his face when I looked in his direction. Things didn't quite go as I planned, the two clients deluged me with questions and I somehow lost track of the time. The next time I looked over to our table Jack was no longer there. The waiter saw me looking and came over to me. He told me Jack had told him to tell me that he would wait in the bar. So I went back to my conversation. We finally shook hands on the deal about eleven-thirty but when I got into the bar there was no sign of Jack. I asked the barman if he had seen him and he gave me our car keys and a note from Jack. "Porsha, A moment to me is a couple of minutes. You left our table at nine-thirty or there about. I have waited until eleven o'clock. Your work is obviously more important to you than your husband. I've taken a cab home. I hope you haven't drunk too much to drive the car. Jack. The bastard had left me there. Well, at least he had paid the bill for our meal. I was just about to leave myself when one of the clients, Denis Walker came into the bar. He asked me if I would join him for a drink but I said I had to get home. "Where's your husband gone?" Denis enquired. "Home. He got fed-up with waiting for me." "What a silly man. I can't imagine what he was thinking leaving a beautiful woman like you all alone." Yeah, I know I should have guessed what he was really thinking but I was pissed off big time with Jack. Before I knew it, I was sitting down for a drink with Denis. The rest of the evening was a blur. I had probably drunk too much wine in the restaurant and I'm not sure what I drank in the bar. The next time I remember anything clearly, I was in Denis's room and we were in each other's arms kissing. When the door suddenly burst open and two rather big guys walked in and without ceremony grabbed hold of Denis. Denis started to protest. But one of the guys said, "Shut your mouth, arsehole, before I shut it for you!" Then a couple of the hotel staff came in and threw all of Denis's stuff into his suitcase. Before I really understood what was going on Denis was bundled out of the room. A woman appeared whom I recognised as the hotel's manager. "I don't know what kind of relationship you have with my cousin Jack," she said, "but you are not going to cheat on him in my establishment. Now you are obviously too drunk to drive so you had better sleep it off in here. I'll have the maid change the bed. I'm not sure but I think your new friend had a professional in here this afternoon. We normally turn a blind eye to that kind of thing but family is different." You know, I don't think I said a word during the whole encounter. I just stood there in shock. How the hell had I finished up in this hotel room? And, oh, my god, would I have slept with the guy if we hadn't been disturbed? Once the maid had left I collapsed on the bed. During the night I must have been sick, I vaguely remember being in the bathroom and rinsing my dress out. When I woke from what I hoped was a bad dream the following morning, I was dismayed to find that I was in that damned hotel room. Moving slowly, because I had one hell of a hangover, I got up, showered and then got dressed. When I opened the door, one of the big guys from the previous evening was sitting on a chair outside. I realised he was one of the bouncers from the casino next door. Yes! That's when I remembered that Jack had told me that this whole damned complex ... Hotel, Night-club and Casino ... was owned by relatives of his. The bouncer guy guided me to the service lift. Apparently he had been told that I was to leave by the rear entrance. He told me that the hotel's car would be driving me home as they thought I would probably still be over the blood alcohol limit. When we got to the basement level car park, the bouncer guy left me and a woman took me by the arm and lead me to a limousine with blacked out windows. As she pushed me inside I remembered that Jack's car was out front and asked the woman what I was going to do about it. "Don't worry about Jack's car, Porsha. We'll get it back to him." Somehow the woman's voice sounded familiar. I looked at her; her face was familiar but couldn't quite place her. "Do I know you?" I asked "Christ you always were a stuck up bitch, Porsha. If I'd known how much of a slut you would turn into you never would have got near Jack." "Who the hell are you?" I demanded. But the woman didn't answer, having pushed me into the back of the car she walked to around to the chauffeur and I heard her tell him my address. Christ, did she think I didn't know where I lived. I could have told him that! "Right oh, Sheila. It should take me about twenty minutes," the driver replied. As he pulled away I asked him. "Was that Sheila Mitchell." "Who? No, that's Mrs. Sheila Williams. She's the assistant day-manager. But come to think of it, I think she was Sheila Mitchell before she got married. There's some old 'employee off the year' photos of her on the wall in the staff room. Do you know her?" I didn't answer him. Oh, god, Sheila had been my best friend at college. I wonder how many times I'd walked past her in that hotel without noticing her. The more I thought about things, the more I realised Jack had it right. Nothing mattered to me if it wasn't connected to my job. I had no friends outside my work. All the people Jack and I socialised with were Jack's friends, not mine. Then the thought of what was I going to say to Jack came into my mind. Surely he was going to go ape that I hadn't come home all night. What the hell was he going to think? Oh, god if he had called the Central, had they told him about me being in that room with Denis Walker? As I walked into the house there was no sign of Jack and the phone was ringing. I picked up the handset. "Jack!" "No, Porsha, its Stephanie. Where the hell have you been? I've been calling since nine o'clock. Marshall is going bonkers! What the devil happened last night? The boys said the Walker contract was all sown up last night, but this morning Walker called and said it's all off again. What happened?" My head went into a whirl. "Oh, god, what did they do with Denis Walker after they took him out of that room. God, I hope they never hurt him," I thought. My mind went into damage control mode. "Do you know where Denis Walker is, Stephanie?" "He called from the Novatel I think, but I can check with the boys." "Do so and call me back. I'll go and see whether I can pour some oil and sweet talk him around." I ran up to the bedroom and changed. I wish I'd not been thinking about that contract so much. If I hadn't been concentrating on it I might have noticed that Jack's clothes were gone from the bedroom. But as Jack had told me, getting the contract signed was all that I was thinking about. Within ten minutes of getting Steff's call that confirmed Denis Walker was at the Novatel I was on my way there. As I walked in the main entrance; Greg Marshall was coming out met me. "Porsha! What the hell did you think you were doing last night?" he bellowed at me. "I've got to sack you! Our company does not use prostitution to get business. Do not return to the office. Your personal belongings will be sent on to you together with your final salary cheque." "But I didn't do anything." "There's no discussion on this Porsha, Your husband's bully boys frightened the life out of Walker last night. If the newspapers get hold of this god knows what will happen. Luckily I don't think Walker will want to advertise the fact he was thrown out of the Central Hotel. I doubt his wife will appreciate him being caught with someone else's wife in his room in the middle of the night. But the sooner the company distances itself from you, the better. Good-bye, Porsha." With that Greg Marshall walked away and I stood there trying to come to terms with what had happened in the last 24 hours. Denis Walker came out a couple of minutes later but he wouldn't even talk to me. He just got into a taxi and left. In a kind of daze, I went back to my car and drove home. Once I got there I realised that I had no one to talk this whole experience over with, besides Jack that is. Knowing that I couldn't tell him everything I called his office anyway, because I needed someone to talk to. She was quite polite about it but Sally told me that Jack wasn't taking calls from me. I tried arguing with her but that got me nowhere. Ok, I thought to myself. Jack is angry with me; I'd better make a special effort to look good when he gets home tonight. I was sure I could talk him around if I tried hard enough. I was getting out of the shower when I noticed something was wrong. Jack's toiletries weren't on the unit; I suddenly got a very nasty feeling in my stomach and still naked, I went into the bedroom. His bedside clock was missing. Then in panic I looked in his wardrobe; it was almost empty. Jack had left me! I think I must have fainted because the next thing I knew I was laying on the bed. As things came back to me I started crying. I'm not sure how long I lay there but it was dark when the phone rang and I came out of my daze. Gingerly I picked it up and said hello, hoping it would be Jack. "Mum, is that you? You sound awful!" It was Mark, my son. "Um, yes Mark it's me and I'm not feeling on top of the world at the moment." "What's going on, mother? Dad called earlier and told me you two have separated. Megan and Sarah are here with me and we want to know what is going on. Dad won't tell us. He told us to ask you." "To be honest, Mark ,I'm not exactly sure myself that I know what's going on. I did something stupid yesterday and everything seems to have collapsed around me." "Oh!" was all Mark said. But then Megan obviously took the phone from him. Porsha Ch. 01 "What did you do, mum? What did you do to make dad leave you?" I stuttered trying to think of an answer for her "Oh, god, mum! It wasn't another man, was it? Oh, god, mum, it was, wasn't it! How could you do that?" That is a trait of Megan's. She is very astute and when she's on a roll she will ask and answer the question herself. A little bit like her father really. "No, Megan, wait! Please, don't go jumping to conclusions. I didn't sleep with anyone, if that's what you're thinking. I just got myself into a compromising situation, that's all, and your father got the wrong idea." Well, it was the truth. I hadn't actually had sex with Denis Walker. Although just what would have happened if Jack's cousin hadn't stepped in, I don't know. To put it bluntly, all three of my children gave me a complete dressing down. I didn't think I could feel any worse than I was feeling when that phone had rung, but by the time they'd finished, I felt terrible. Somehow, without actually saying it, they let me know they didn't think I'd been much of a mother to them or a wife to Jack. Once that phone call was over, I sat there crying again and trying to think what the hell I was going to do. I won't say that the idea of ending it all didn't pass through my mind. But I don't think I was strong enough to actually do it. The idea of making a half-hearted attempt to get myself some sympathy did pass through my mind. But who was going to find me. I tried calling some of my friends from work, as I really needed a shoulder to cry on. But I soon learnt that I didn't have any friends at work. When I was a winner, they all loved me. Now that it had gone to pot for me they didn't want to know me. In desperation I called the Central Hotel. Sheila was the only person I could think of who might talk to me. But she wasn't on shift. The girl I spoke to wouldn't give Sheila's number. But I did persuade her to call Sheila and ask her to call me. Thankfully Sheila called me back about twenty minutes later. I don't remember what I said to her on the phone, I think it just all flowed out but it was enough to persuade her to come round to my house. Sheila walked in and took over like she always used to do when we were young. She cooked me something to eat whilst I told her the story of my life especially the last week. Once I'd eaten Sheila took me into the lounge, settled me down on the sofa and placing a large brandy in front of me. She made a phone call. "Jack, its Sheila. I'm at your house with Porsha. You had better get your arse over here. There are some things that don't make any sense that you need to sort out." Sheila listened as Jack said something to her then. "Okay, we'll see you in twenty minutes then." ---- "Yes I understand, but you have to listen to what Porsha has been telling me. She's got some weird idea about... Oh, look, she'll tell you herself when you get here." Then Sheila hung up. "What did he say and how the devil did you know where to find jack?" I asked her. "Jack's coming over but it sounds to me like he's not in the mood to do much listening. He's very angry with you. Whatever you believe he'd been doing doesn't excuse what you did last night. What the hell did you think you were up to? Getting even or something?" "Yes. No. Oh, I don't know. I was being horrible to him when I left him sitting on his own after dinner. But when he went home without me, that really pissed me off. Then Denis Walker offered me to buy me drink. I thought just one drink with him wouldn't hurt. Look, Sheila, I don't honestly know how I finished up in that room with him. That was definitely not my intention. I love Jack, you must know that." "Well, that's not how Jack or the family see it. I think you are going to have a hard job explaining what you were doing in that guy's room at one o'clock in the morning." "Don't you think I know that? Anyway how did you know where to find Jack? Is he at the Central?" "No, he's not there. But Jack's family. He's a distant cousin of mine. It's a big family and we all look out for one another. Why do you think they stepped in last night?" I knew why they acted how they did, but I had no idea that Sheila was related to Jack as well. "If you're related to Jack, why didn't you come to our wedding?" "It's damned a big family, Porsha. For all your parents' airs and graces, they could never have afforded a wedding that size. There's bloody hundreds of us. Besides I was at UNI when you got hitched, remember. And when I came back you didn't want to know me." "Oh, shit, am I that much of a selfish cow? Did I blow you off when you came back?" "Well, not really. You were married and I was still out having a good time." Sheila went on to give me the story of her life. Apparently she had tipped her cap at Jack at one time but had lost out to me. Sheila had been married but was now divorced and had been a deputy manager at the hotel for years. Jack arrived but I really think I had never seen him so angry as he was that night. He stormed in, plonked himself in a chair and said, "Alright, Porsha, you wanted to tell me something. Talk. You've got half an hour!" I told him about finding him and Sally in his office and about seeing him give Sonya the necklace and my trying to follow them but losing them. And as he never came straight home afterwards I thought he had taken Sonya somewhere. Jack sat stern-faced and didn't say a word. Until I started to talk about the previous evening, when he stopped me. "I know about last night and I don't want to hear anymore about that, thank you." He spoke in a tone that I had never heard him use before. I think he was fighting to stay in command of his temper. "Will you both come with me, please? This shouldn't take too long to sort out." He added as he left the room and led the way into his home office. Once in there he looked up phone number and dialled it on the conference phone. I heard Sally answer, then Jack still in his angry voice demanded. "Sally, who was in the office on Tuesday?" "Just me, Jack, I was on my own most of the day." "No one came in at all, all day?" "Roger popped in between appointments, but he was only there for a little while?" "About what time was that?" "Lunchtime why, is there a problem?" "Sally, when are you two going to stop pussy footing around and get married. And if I ever hear that the pair of you have been having sex in my office again, I'll fire you. Do you understand." Sally was lost for words for a few minutes and then she started to apologise. But Jack stopped her. "Sally, my wife called into the office on Tuesday and she thought it was me in there with you." "Oh, my god! I'm sorry, Jack, I promise it will never happen again." "Make sure it doesn't. Good night, Sally, and tell Roger to keep his head down. Oh, you'd better say good night to him as well. I know he's there." Jack broke the connection, then after looking in his diary dialled again. This time a man answered. "Hi, Ralph. It's Jack. Have you heard from Sonya today?" "Yes, she called a little while ago. She's doing her best to get over the jet lag, before she meets the clients tomorrow." "Ralph this isn't going to make much sense to you but would you mind telling my wife what happened the other night when Sonya came to that dinner with me. My wife is under the impression that Sonya and I were misbehaving." "Sure, Jack, as I remember it you two arrived home at little before eleven. Sonya went straight to bed as she had that early flight. Then you helped me sort out my computer with that message program so Sonya and I could see each other while we talked. Hey, it's quite good. We tried it earlier. After that we had a drink and a chat. Then I drove you home." "What time was that, Ralph?" "I'm not too sure. But I got to bed about two. I remember looking at the clock." "Thanks, Ralph. I think that just about clears everything up. Give my favourite negotiator my love and thank you for lending her to me the other night. It looks possible that I'll be needing her again in the future." "No problems, Jack. I hope that straightens things out between you and Porsha. I think Sonya will be upset about the misunderstanding." With that the call ended. Jack looked at me. "Any questions or do you think I set all that up?" "I'm sorry, Jack, I jumped to the wrong conclusions. But why did you give Sonya that necklace?" Jack stood up and started walking to the door. As he did so and without looking at me, he said. "It was our wedding anniversary. I brought you a diamond pendant. I wanted to see what it looked like on a beautiful woman. As I couldn't see it on you I asked Sonya to wear it. It's in your jewellery safe upstairs. Good night." Just like that, he was gone before I had a chance to say another word. I was stunned for a minute but then I jumped up and chased after him, calling his name. But he was driving away as I got out the front door. I must have fainted again because the next thing I remember I was in the lounge and Sheila was pouring brandy down my throat again. I sat there crying and Sheila tried to make the right kind of noises. I was a little surprised when the doorbell rang and Sheila let a guy in, who she said was the Hotels doctor. He checked me over, then Sheila and he went into a huddle. For some reason he took a blood sample and then gave me a sedative. I don't remember much after that. When I woke the next day there was some girl I didn't know sitting by my bed. In a foreign accent she told her name was Maria, and that she worked for Sheila who had asked her to stay with me until Sheila could get back from work. My day was spent in abject misery. But I could only blame myself. I had been very selfish all my life and now I knew it. I knew that I hadn't planned to humiliate Jack at the hotel. But I had done so. I knew that I hadn't planned to sleep with Denis Walker but that's what it must look like I was planning. There was no way that I could think of that would convince anyone otherwise. I also knew that Jack was expecting our marriage to collapse. Hadn't he told me so no more than a month or so ago. I figured that he was intending to divorce me and I could do little to stop him. My mind went back to the suicide idea but I realised that was the coward's way out and besides, for the time being Maria was watching me like a hawk. Sheila was a better friend to me than I'd ever been to her. That night the children rang again but really just to touch base. I could hear the anger in their voices as they spoke to me. I can only assume that Jack had been talking to them. I suppose it must have been at his insistence that they called me as they had little to say to me and they were of no comfort to me. That night Sheila stayed over again. This time she gave me a sleeping pill the doctor had given her for me. That was the routine for the next few days. Maria was there during the day, Sheila and the sleeping pills at night. The children settled into a different one calling me each evening, it seemed to me just to check that I was still alive. One day a taxi pulled up and Stephanie, my old secretary had brought all my personal things from my office and my severance cheque for many thousands of pounds more than I had expected. But she wouldn't come into the house. She just stood on the doorstep and handed everything over. I think a week or so went past when Sheila came in one evening and appeared very happy about something. She told me that I had this appointment with Mr. White, the solicitor, today. So here I am, And shortly I'm going through that door, where I'm sure I'll hear that my marriage is at an end. End of Part One. Note - I had planned two alternative endings to this story, but other things have come up. I would like to invite anyone who wishes to write a different ending to do so should they wish. I have left in this part, little clues that were intended for my other ending, that you could pick up and use. If all goes well my ending should be posted tomorrow. My thanks go to Harddaysknight for not objecting to me steeling his wife abandoning the husband in the restaurant scene, I liked that scene when I read it in "She's a Woman" so much I just had to use it. Porsha Ch. 02a This is one of two alternative endings that I had planned for Porsha's story. The other ending is half written, but I must be honest I'm very happy with this one. So I'm not too sure I'll finish the other. Whatever I invite any other author to write an alternative part two should they wish to do so? I thank my LadyCibelle and Techsan for their patience, proof reading, editing skills and of course their encouragement. As always I must also add, that I can never leave a story alone. I will most likely add some cock-ups on my read through after they have been through it. A door opened and Mr. White came out and asked me to step into his office. He showed me to an armchair to one side of a coffee table whilst he took the chair opposite. He picked up a folder from the table, which he opened and studied for a few moments, then without looking at me began to speak. "At Mrs. Williams request, I've agreed to act on your behalf, Mrs. Morris. May I call you Porsha?" I nodded. "Good. You may call me Derick if you like. I assume you know I acted for Sheila in her divorce a few years back. I have taken the liberty of contacting Mason & Grant who are acting on behalf of your husband." This was news to me, as I didn't know Jack had gone so far as engaging a solicitor. I think at this time I still thought I could talk Jack around. "I have here a letter from Tony Mason. It appears Mr. Morris would like a divorce as soon as possible and they would prefer to settle it quietly. They are hoping you will agree to irreconcilable differences as the official reason for the divorce. Will you accept that or are you going to fight it?" There was no way I was going to just give up on my marriage just like that. Jack was my husband, I loved him and there was no way I was going to give up that easy. I wanted to stay married to him. Now I had lost my job, I had nothing without him! "Of course, I'm going to fight it. A divorce is the last thing I want. I would like my husband back but at the moment he won't even talk to me and I haven't the faintest idea where he is living. If he would let me talk to him, I'm sure we could work this thing out." "Do you really think you can change his mind? From what I've heard, he appears adamant about wanting a divorce." "I think I can. It was all a terrible misunderstanding really. I'm sure that if he would just sit down and listen to what I have to say, he will realise that I love him and want him back." "Then we must find something to force him to have a face-to-face meeting with you. Now I've got some reports here that Sheila organised. And I have the outline of the grounds your husband is threatening to use should you contest the divorce." "It appears that your husband is claiming you went to this Denis Walker's hotel room with the intention of, to put it mildly, breaking you marriage vows. Is that correct?" "I don't really know how I finished up in that room. The only excuse I can come up with is that I was drunk. There is no way I would have gone there if I was half-way sober." "Nonetheless you were there and your husband has ample evidence of that. It was one o'clock in the morning and you were so inebriated that you were incapable of driving home. Now you went to the hotel to have a meal with your husband. Is that correct?" "Yes." "But for some reason you left your husband sitting alone and joined four other gentlemen, one of whom was this Denis Walker, at another table." "Yes, two of them were colleagues from my work. They were discussing a contract and they wanted my advice." "Did your husband object to you leaving him alone?" "No. Well, he might have. I didn't really give him a chance to object. Unless he made a scene that is." "You mean you just abandoned him?" "Well, not really. We were having a disagreement when my colleague came over with a question for me. I thought I would only be a couple of minutes and that would give both Jack and me a chance to cool down. But I'm afraid it took a little longer than I thought it would." "How long, Porsha? How long did you leave your husband sitting there alone whilst you sat over the other side of the restaurant in the company of four other men? "You are making me sound awful, like I did it on purpose or something. I thought you are supposed to be on my side?" "I am, Porsha! I'm trying to make you understand how it's going to look to a judge. Your husband's barrister is going to ask you far more awkward questions than I have. I wouldn't be surprised if your husband doesn't claim mental cruelty. The hint that you were intending to share Walker's bed that night will be all he needs. I think your husband's angle will be that you are away on business trips quite often and his barrister will be suggesting that it is quite possible you have been drunk before. If you get the direction my mind is going in." "Oh, my god, does he think I make a habit of getting drunk and going to strangers' rooms when I'm away?" "From what Tony Mason has told me and he has spoken to your husband, I suspect that is exactly what he does think." "Oh, god, how the hell am I going to convince him otherwise?" "A good question, Porsha, but that is what you're asking us to do and I doubt that we can. As I see it if we can convince him that you didn't intend to go to that room to have sex with Walker we could be halfway there. Now there's a couple of things we could do and one of them would be to sue Denis Walker for assault. But..." "Sue Walker for assault. On what could you base that? He didn't threaten me or hit me or anything?" "No, but Sheila and I believe he might possibly have drugged you and that is assault. Sheila had the foresight to have a doctor take a blood sample from you. It appears there were traces of a commonly used date rape drug in your blood. Not very much, as too many hours had elapsed, there isn't enough for the police to act upon, but enough I think for a civil case. The only problem we have is there were also traces of cocaine in your blood as well. Can you explain that? Are you by any chance a regular user?" "No, well, yes, really, I have used it now and again. But I'm not addicted to it or anything. I have used it to give myself a little boost, on occasions when I'm feeling low. And I was feeling low that day as I thought Jack was cheating on me. So I took some at lunchtime to give myself a little lift. But I don't use it very often." "Do you think that may have affected your actions that evening?" "I don't know. I haven't noticed it having any effect other than making me feel better in the past." "That is a problem when people take drugs. Often they have little real idea of how much it changes their persona. Cocaine, besides giving you a high, tends to lower the inhibitions and can drastically change the way people act and the things they do. Taking any drug is dangerous, Porsha. That's why they are illegal." "It's going to make things a little awkward, as we would have to make the blood test available to the court if we were to sue Walker. The defence will make you out to be a drug addict. It's a shame because suing Walker might have gone a long way to changing the way your husband looks at things." "We have statements from the hotel staff. The barman was pretty sure that Walker interfered with one of your drinks. Although he never actually saw Walker put anything in it, he saw him stirring the drink for no apparent reason. The barman reported his suspicions to the hotel manager and that's why they claim they were watching you. But as you know, your husband is related to the management of that hotel. So why they really reacted as they did and how much of this will stand up in court is somewhat questionable. A good defence lawyer would probably run rings around it. But there is the point that Walker is a convicted sex offender." "He's what?" "Oh, yes he was convicted for rape in 1980. He served five years for it. Still that doesn't help us does it? The courts won't know of his previous conviction until after the verdict. I get the nasty feeling by then you would be branded a sex-crazed drug addict. Even if they convicted him. But the choice on going ahead with that one is up to you." "Porsha, we are in an awkward position here. Your husband wants a divorce and you don't but unless you can talk him out of it, I'm pretty sure he's going to get what he wants. You went up to that room of your own volition. Walker was seen helping you but you were not objecting in any way. The hotel security video recordings show that. "And there's something else; something else that is driving your husband towards a divorce! When I talked to your husband's solicitor, Tony Mason, you must understand I had to discus the results of the blood test with him. I thought that it might make Mr. Morris see things a little differently. But Tony told me he thought there was something else that your husband was upset about. Can you think what it is?" "What, besides me being in that room with Walker?" "Yes, have you any ideas?" "Well, I made a pretty good job of humiliating him in the restaurant." "It could be, but I don't think it's that. Tony Mason and I discussed your behaviour that evening. From what I've been told, your husband claims that is normal behaviour for you." "Oh, Christ, did he say that? Oh, what a bloody stupid bitch I've been!" Derick didn't say anything in reply to my outburst. I think he must have had some sympathy for Jack. I was beginning to think this whole interview was intended to persuade me to give up and give Jack the divorce he was asking for. But I loved Jack and wanted him back where he belonged. Derick White sat there watching me but saying nothing for a while. I could see he was thinking. "Mrs. Morris, this is not something I should say to you. But I have to advise you as to what I believe is in your best interests. It looks to me like your husband has made his mind up. If you fight this divorce I can see us coming out on the losing side. Especially when it comes to the division of the family assets! You must think of the future. You no longer have your career. From what I've learned I think your interests might best be served if we accept the divorce your husband has asked for and we concentrated our efforts on getting you a good settlement. "No, I don't want a divorce. I want Jack." "Porsha, I don't like to have to say it but we can't always have what we want. Sometimes we have to make the best of things. But I would hate to see you lose out financially because you won't accept the fact that you've lost your husband. Porsha, you've driven the man away!" Now it was my turn to sit and think. Could it be that I had no chance of persuading Jack to come back to me? I realised now that I really had been a selfish bitch. I had been spoilt as a child and getting my own way was natural for me. I had obviously spent my whole life concentrating on me. My wonderful husband and my children had put up with my thoughtless behaviour for years but now their patience had come to an end. My life was a mess and it was my own fault. "Mr. White, I have been a stupid selfish bitch to my husband and my family. I think I'm beginning to understand now. There is no point in fighting the divorce or in pursuing a case against Denis Walker; that would only stir up more trouble." "Could you please contact or write a letter to Jack for me. Please tell him that I'm pleading for him to meet me, but only so that I can tell him how sorry I am. Tell him that I will give him the divorce he wants, if he will just meet me in private and let me apologise to him in person. Tell him I love him and that I have never cheated on our marriage vows. If he will give me the chance to apologise to him, I will give him what he wants and then I will go away and never bother him again." I sat there crying for a while. Derick brought me a cup of tea. Then he sat patiently waiting for me to regain my composure. "Very well, if you're sure it's what you want Mrs. Morris, I will do as you ask. To be honest I think that is your best option. I will pray that your husband will agree to meet you and that you can persuade him to change his mind." "I think I see now that I won't change his mind. I've been a selfish fool. If I'd spent just a little time thinking about Jack instead of myself, I wouldn't be in this mess. No, I've got to let Jack go. Perhaps he can find someone who will think of him more than I did." I left Derick's office feeling defeated. Maria was at the house when I got there. As usual she said little. She was used to me crying all the time by now. But she did try to cheer me up as best she could. That evening after Sheila arrived I thanked her for all she had done to try and help me. I told her I was accepting the fact that I had lost Jack. I thought that Sheila had all along realised I was on a loosing wicket but she hadn't known how to tell me. That evening I called each of the children in turn, to tell them that I now realised how foolish I had been and that, although I didn't want it, I was going to give Jack the divorce he requested. Mark and Sarah appeared to have decided that was the best thing for everyone and I felt they didn't really want to talk to me. But then I called Megan. "Megan, I've been doing a lot of thinking in the last week or so. I've never been a good mother to you children or a good wife to your father." "No, mum, you always did your best." "I did my best to do what I wanted, you mean. Megan, I've been a very selfish person and I'm sorry. I have always loved you and your father but I concentrated all my efforts on my career and me. I think the home and my family always took second place for me and I'm sorry. I've decided to give your father the divorce he wants and then I'm going away somewhere. I'm not going to keep the house. This house is your father's home. It's somewhere for you children to come home to. So I'll move out and Jack can move back in here. I know he loves the place. "No, mum, you love that house as well. I don't think it will be the same without you there. Where will you go anyway?" "I don't know, Megan. Just away. Hopefully I can find somewhere where I won't run the risk of bumping into your father. It would kill me if I see him with another woman." "I doubt there's any danger of dad finding someone else, mum. He loves you too much for that." "He did love me, you mean. After twenty years I think I've finally destroyed that love. I've treated him so badly for so long. He warned me some time ago that he was drifting away from me. I think he was telling me he was falling out of love with me." "If that's how he felt, do you honestly think he would have spent all that money on the pendant? Believe me, mum, dad still loves you." "You know about the pendant?" "Yes, I was with dad when he ordered it. That was especially made to go with those earrings he gave you last Christmas." "I think things have changed since he brought the pendant, Megan. Look, I'm sorry I can't talk any longer or I'm going to break down again. Please remember I love all of my children just as much as I love your father. I've just been too self-centred to show it. When I get settled I'll let you know where I am." "I love you, mum," was the last thing she said as we hung up. When I looked over at Sheila who had been listening to my conversation with Megan I could see she was crying almost as much as I was. "So, Porsha, you've made your mind up. Where are you going? Have you thought about that yet?" "I haven't a clue, Sheila, but I can't stay around here. Once I've seen Jack and told him how sorry I am for how I've behaved towards him, I'm going to go on a holiday somewhere, just to get away and think for a while. I'll have to figure out where I can settle down. Maybe I'll move to the midlands, somewhere close to the children's universities for the time being. I've got a lot of making up to do to them; if I'm living nearby perhaps they will let me. It's a bit late but I want to show them that I've really seen the error of my ways and would like to be part of their lives. I know that Sarah and Mark really hate me." "I don't think they really do. They are angry and confused at the moment. They see you as the villain who has caused the break-up of their happy home at the moment. I'm sure once the divorce is over and they're used to the idea they will come to accept it. They will soon miss their mother." "I'm going to have my work cut out, showing them that I've changed. But that's what I'm going to do." "In the mean time about this trip you're going on, why don't you go on a cruise? Something really nice, like the QE 2 or the Oriana? I went on a cruise after my divorce. Getting pampered and having nothing to worry about was a great way to get over things." "I really don't want to think about it, Sheila. I'll just slip off somewhere when the time comes." "Well, you should think about it. I know you would enjoy it." "I don't think I'm going to be enjoying much for a long time, Sheila. I'm going to bed now, Sheila. It's been a long day; tomorrow I've got to wake up a different person. I hope I can do it." "Oh, I somehow think you will, Porsha." "Sheila, thanks for being here for me. I don't know how I would have survived without you." "Don't talk silly, Porsha, You always were a survivor." A week later I had the dreaded meeting with Jack and our respective solicitors. First we sat around a conference table and the details of the settlement were sorted out. I insisted that Jack kept the house, I would forgo any equity in it. Our savings and investments were to be divided down the middle, although Jack quietly volunteered to manage our long-term investments until such time that I needed access to the capital. I signed the relevant papers, and then the two legal eagles left us alone. "Jack, I'm sorry," I said to him as the door closed, "I've always been a selfish bitch. Over the years I've really treated you terribly and I'm truly sorry." "Porsha......." "No, Jack, please let me finish before you say anything. If I start crying that will be the end of it. I was originally hoping that I could talk you around and persuade you to take me back. I love you Jack and I always will. But I've realised just how much of a self-centred bitch I've been all our married life. You were right. I should have stayed at home and looked after our children. Where was I when Little Jack got sick? Away negotiating some deal somewhere and I didn't come home until it was nearly too late. What kind of a mother stays to get the contract signed whilst her child is lying in a hospital bed dying?" "Porsha, I've got something to say to you!" "No, Jack, please, you've got to let me say this. I know you won't believe me but honestly I don't know how I ended up in that hotel room that night. Jack, I wouldn't knowingly cheat on you. Not matter how I behaved, I really love you and I wouldn't do that to you. But that was the straw that broke the camel's back, wasn't it, Jack? That was the step too far and I realise it now. If that Walker guy did drug me, it doesn't make any difference. I should have been with you that night. I should have gone home with you. But I was being the bitch I am!" "Look after yourself, Jack. I've lost the only man I'll ever love. I'm going to move to the midlands to be near the children. Perhaps I can persuade them not to hate me too much. Good-bye, Jack, and thank you for being such a wonderful and tolerant husband in the past." I stood up and made for the door. I had to get out before I broke down. "Porsha," Jack called out. I turned and he was holding out an envelope. "This is for you; Sheila said you wanted to get away for a while. It's a three month cruise." Porsha Ch. 02a "No, Jack, I'll pay my own way from now on." "Porsha, the ticket is non-returnable. Please take it. Let's remain friends, shall we? It's for two people I thought you might want to take someone with you. Sheila perhaps?" That did it. "There's only one person I would ever want to share a cruise with, Jack, but I had my chance to do that and I blew it." I snatched the ticket from Jack's hand, and ran out of the room before he had the chance to say anything more. I didn't stop running until I reached my car where Sheila was waiting for me. I had run out so fast, I had forgotten my coat. When she saw me crying again, Sheila looked a little confused and then she went back into the office for my coat. She was gone quite a long time; I assumed that she'd been talking with Jack. At one time I would have been annoyed about that, but that was the old Porsha. I patiently sat and waited. As Sheila drove me home, I asked her if she had told Jack I was thinking of going away for a while. She thought for a moment before she said, "Of course I did. I even helped Jack pick that cruise for you. I told you, I went on a cruise after my divorce. Jack agreed with me that you would need to get away from everything for a while. He brought the ticket; it's his parting present to you. I think he's trying to tell you that there are no bad feelings." "There are bad feelings, Sheila. I have bad feelings about myself. I think I hate myself." "Well, a few weeks at sea will give you a chance to forgive yourself then, won't it?" "This ticket is for two, Sheila. Will you come with me?" Sheila was obviously taken by surprise. "I'll see if I can get the time off, Porsha. But that could be tricky at this time of year." Another two weeks passed and I boarded the liner at Southampton alone. Sheila could not get the time off. I spent most of the day exploring the great ship. My cabin was a stateroom with every modern conveyance. Strangely Jack had booked a double stateroom but it had a gigantic king-size bed. If Jack had thought Sheila was coming with me; why hadn't he booked a cabin with two single beds? The bathroom and Jacuzzi were luxuries like I'd never expected to see on a ship. I sat in the stateroom and realised I couldn't do this. Three months on my own, I just couldn't face it. Picking up the phone I asked them to call the Central Hotel for me. They put me through on what must have been a satellite phone because, when Sheila came on the line, she sounded quite funny. "Sheila, I really can't do this! I'm so lonely. Look, isn't there any way you could come with me. The cabin is gigantic, there's only one bed but it is enormous. It wouldn't be the first time we shared a bed. Couldn't you possibly get some time off and come with me? I need you." "Take it easy, Porsha; I'll see what I can arrange." Sheila appeared to be stalling. Perhaps she was trying to work out a way to get the time off. "But I doubt I could get to Southampton before you sail. But if I can swing it I suppose I could join the ship in Portugal." "That would be great. Do you think you could possibly swing it?" "I'll try. Look, I'll call you back later, okay." "Thanks, Sheila, You're the best friend I've ever had." "What about Jack? Wasn't he your best friend?" "Don't remind me, Sheila. You don't know what you got until you've lost it." Sheila hung up and I went back to my self-pity. The hours dragged by as I waited for Sheila's call but it didn't come. I felt the ship began to move so I rushed up on deck to watch the band playing and hear everyone cheering. People were so happy, throwing streamers and waving to friends on the quay. I watched in silence as the gap between the ship and dock slowly increased. For a fleeting moment I saw myself jumping over the rail and into that cold water. But I managed to bring myself back to reality. As the ship moved out of Southampton docks, I went down to the dining room for my evening meal. A steward met me and I told him I wished to dine alone, he showed me to a small table. Jack had spared no expense; my stateroom was one of the best and my dining room one of the smaller quiet ones. If the ship had been segregated I would have had the equivalent of a first class ticket. Several other people were eating at the same time as me, although some of them smiled and nodded, I wasn't in the mood to socialise. As I neared the end of my meal the steward came over. "Mrs. Morris, I've just had a message that your guest has come aboard on the pilot boat. They are waiting in your stateroom for you. Would you like me to ask them to come down?" I didn't know how she had achieved it but Sheila had done it. That was probably why she hadn't called me back. She hadn't had the time if she had had to rush all the way down to Southampton. "No, thank you I'll go up," I said to him as I almost ran out of the dining room. The damn lift seemed to take forever. Why is it when you are in a hurry, someone wants to get in or out of the lift on every damn floor? I forced myself out of the door before it was fully open and ran down the corridor to my cabin throwing the door open I rushed into the empty room. I saw two suitcases lying on the bed and I could hear someone moving about in the bathroom. Going over to it I knocked on the bathroom door. "Sheila, God, am I glad you made it!" I called through the door. "I really think I would have gone mad, spending three months alone on this ship. Would you like some tea? Oh, that's silly of me. You'll want some dinner won't you. I've had mine already but we can go down for yours whenever you're finished in there." I sat myself in one of the armchairs and continued talking nonsense to the closed door but Sheila didn't reply. Then I suddenly noticed a large brown envelope laying on the coffee table. I picked it up and looked inside. It appeared to have my divorce documents inside. I was still staring at them when the bathroom door opened. "I hope you're not going to be disappointed but Sheila couldn't make it. Is there any chance that I would do instead?" Jack asked. I looked at him in shock. "Well, if you like, I can take those back and register them with the court. But I got the impression you would prefer it if we buried them at sea. Porsha, I had changed my mind about the divorce when I saw the difference in you at that meeting. But you wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways. You're very quiet, Porsha; I hope you haven't had a change of heart." I couldn't reply because I was crying again. But with joy this time! I stood up and the love of my life took me in his arms. Life goes on. My thanks go to Harddaysnight for not objecting to me steeling his wife abandoning the husband in the restaurant scene, I liked that scene in "She's a Woman so I just had to use it.