54 comments/ 80814 views/ 32 favorites Operation Weekend Spoiler By: Magicidan Warning, you are entering a cuckold free zone. If you do not like stories of temptation, human frailty, and redemption, please do not read this story. You will not enjoy it. But, if you take solace that there are husbands who fight dirty to save their marriages I bid thee read on. Once again I find myself in the position of being a mere scribe, presenting a story which was told to me by a friend-of-a-friend. The story is not mine, I merely set pen to paper and added structure and punctuation to words that were torn from the soul. I am the omnipotent narrator, not the judge of morality. The protagonist swears the story is true. I will leave that to the reader to decide. All names and places have been changed. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Ad hominem attacks will, of course, be deleted. If you enjoy this missive I encourage you to read my earlier works. Thank you. Something just didn't seem right. My wife Eva was a secretary, make that a damn good secretary with a great job. In ten years at Consumer Industries she never had to work overtime. Nope, not once. She worked 9-5 Monday through Friday and came home. We ate dinner together and had a date night every Saturday. I didn't think life could get better. After years of excuses we agreed the time was right to start a family. My career was doing great and we would be able to live on my salary in the style to which we were accustomed. Eva went to her doctor and was pronounced 100% healthy and ready to become a mother. She stopped taking the pill and began a vitamin regimen that her doctor said would make conception a slam dunk. That evening we selected a bedroom to be the nursery and began discussing names. I encouraged Eva to give notice so she could relax and concentrate on conceiving. She said her job wasn't very stressful and wanted to work until she had a baby bump to show off. I guess that's why her announcement came as such a surprise. "Honey, I've been approached with an interesting proposition. Mr. Walters thinks I would make a great administrative assistant." "But you're going to make an even better mother." "Well, I've been thinking...maybe we could postpone having a baby a few years." I was crushed and told her if she said yes our fairy tale would not end with ''and they lived happily ever after." "Don't be silly. We still have plenty of time to start a family." Two days later Eva came home and said she accepted the promotion. We had a big fight. A week later she announced she would be going on her first customer call...a large manufacture in California. She would be leaving Friday morning and coming home Monday afternoon. We had not spent even one night apart since we were married and now my wife wanted to go to California with her boss. I was not a happy man. I begged her to reconsider. She dug in her heels and said she had to do this to see if she was good enough. On Friday morning I told her I would drive her to the airport. "No. The company is sending a town car for me." "No." I said, "If I have to be separated from the woman I love I am driving you to the airport and kissing you goodbye at the departure gate just like in the movies." "But what about work?" "Screw work. You're more important than work...than anything." Eva finally agreed but said she would have to call the service to cancel them. She looked uncomfortable during our ride and I hoped it was just nervous jitters about flying. Unfortunately, because I didn't have a boarding pass, I had to make our farewell kiss outside of security. I told her I would wait in the parking lot in case she decided to place our having a family above this job audition. Yes, that's right, she wouldn't know if she got the promotion until her boss saw her interact with the customer. "Even if you choose work over our family I'll still pick you up right her Monday afternoon." Again she tried to talk me out of it. Driving home that queasy feeling in my stomach engulfed my whole body. I knew she was up to something and it wouldn't be good. When I got home I went straight to her briefcase. I thought it odd she didn't take it with on her business trip; opening it was a cinch because she never changed the combination from 0-0-0. Inside I found an itinerary for two round trip tickets from Chicago to San Francisco. . Next was a confirmation of a reservation for two guests for three nights; it was in Ronald Walters' name. I searched for another page with Eva's name but found none. This was not looking good. I carefully examined every paper in the case; the rest were work related. "Damn!" I yelled. If only I had thought to look in it last night I could have confronted her. I knew she couldn't answer her phone on the plane but left her a message, "My loving wife. It's not too late for you to come back. Charge a first class ticket home on my AMX card and we'll make you the most beautiful new mother in Chicago." A couple hours later I received a text a couple hours later that said "Arrived safely...now stop being silly! I have work to do!" I called her but it went straight to voice mail. That meant I had work to do. Detective work. I began my search with her desk. I found Consumer Industries Employee Handbook to be most interesting. On page one was my wife's signature agreeing to abide by the Code of Conduct which included automatic termination for any employee, regardless of title, seniority, or statue, entering into a sexual relationship, regardless of duration or gender, nor marital status of either party(s), with any co-worker(s) or subordinate(s). Since I couldn't stop their affair I knew that I had to document the heck out of it to get my revenge. I called Eva's employer and pretended to be a customer. "I'm sorry but Mr. Walters is taking a couple of personal days off but will be back on Tuesday. Can someone else be of assistance?" Later I called Eva's number and was told she was also taking a couple of personal days off. I called our cell phone provider and requested a printout of all calls made from my wife's phone during the last year. Since it was under my name they were very cooperative and offered to e-mail them to me. I thanked them for their excellent customer service and was soon scanning page after page of numbers. I was able to identify most as friends and family but there was one which suddenly appeared about six months ago; it got a slew of calls for three weeks, then nothing until ten days ago. There were a score of calls from that number but no return calls. A quick check of White Pages showed it was registered to her boss, the bastard whom she was with right now. I searched my memory from a half year back and remember Eva was in the mood from hell for a couple of weeks, all sullen and withdrawn. After she snapped out of it she joked that it was female problems and I wouldn't understand. Well I understood now. The calls from her boss resumed shortly after we had visited the doctor to begin the road to parenthood. And now it seems the fertile womb who professed before God and man to forsake all others was having an affair. I collapsed on the floor sobbing. When I composed myself I got on the computer and searched Eva's e-mail account. It only took three guesses to figure out her password. I started checking all the saved messages; nothing of note. Then I found a folder labeled lawn service. Bingo. There were 34 saved messages. The first said, "Eva, sex with you was incredible. When can we get together again? Ronny. Her response was curt, "Yesterday was a mistake that can never happen again." This was followed by a couple dozen e-mails trying to schmooze her into a repeat performance. When that failed the bastard changed tactics. The next e-mail had an attachment; a picture of Eva naked lying on a couch. From the pose and expression on her face she had no idea it was being taken. The message was to the point. "Unless you want your husband and everyone you work with to get a copy we will resume our affair." Eva's response was to appeal to his sense of decency. His response had two more pictures attached. I was furious and almost punched out the monitor. Thus the trip to California came to be. Three nights of blackmail sex. I didn't sleep a lick while debating flying out to confront the bastard. I called the hotel Eva was staying early Saturday morning. What a surprise, she wasn't registered as a guest. The cheap bastard she was fucking wouldn't even spend the money to get a separate room to throw me off the scent. I documented who I spoke with than asked if Ronald Walters was a guest. Yep. Room 719. Busted. So I called my lovely wife on her cell phone. She sounded a little tired from the previous night's activities. "Honey, I felt so bad the way we left things that I tried to surprise you by having room service bring you up breakfast but they said they had no record of you as a guest." I would have loved to see the look on her face as she stammered something about the room must be in the company's name. No problem...give me your room number and I'll buy my girl the best breakfast that hotel has." Eva stammered, "No, no please don't bother. We're meeting the customer for brunch in a little while." There was panic in her voice. "Well I still want to know what room you're in." "Uhhhh. Room 719." "Fine, I'll be calling you on the room phone this evening, say eight your time. That will give you plenty of time to have dinner with your customers. We have a lot to talk about." That should put a damper on her hjinks. * * * * * I spent the rest of the day learning as much about Ronald Walters as I could. I went to a library across town from where I lived and searched public records. The Cook County Assessor showed he lived in Park Ridge, a tony suburb nestled between Chicago and O'Hare Airport. Next I searched the Cook County Recorder's website and learned he paid $725,000 for his house just before the real estate market tanked. It seems mister lover boy was behind in his mortgage and a lis pendens had been filed. This meant he was going into foreclosure. The last site I checked had a great aerial view of his house. It was the last house on a street that dead ended at a forest preserve. Even better, there was a bicycle/jogging trail through the woods. I decided to reconnoiter the house. I dressed like any other cyclist and cruised by the house without slowing down. When I was certain I was alone I hid my bike in the bushes and crept up to the back door of the house. One trick my dear departed grandfather taught me was how to spring a cheap door lock. It amazed me how people felt secure with a $15 lock set they bought at a big box hardware store to protect all of their valuables. I put on a pair of gloves, made sure no one was coming, and turned my attention to the inexpensive lock It took me less than thirty seconds to get the door open. Thanks gramps. After making sure the house was empty I began searching the premises. My first stop was his office. I turned on his computer and damn near puked when I saw his screen saver was a picture of my naked wife. I searched his box and downloaded every picture I could find of Eva. I assumed they snuck away on a long lunch since I could account for all of her evenings and weekends. There must have been two dozen pictures. Most were blurry and out of focus but I could still recognize my wife. The worse were the ones of him fucking her. I debated deleting them but didn't want to let him know anyone had been there. I checked his e-mails and found a treasure trove. There were pictures of several other women in compromising positions. My wife wasn't the first woman who worked for him that he blackmailed. I downloaded everything on his computer onto my zip drive. I spent the next couple hours searching Walters' house. I found a duplicate key and pocketed that. He was meticulous in his record keeping with everything neatly labeled. I found a folder which contained all of his financial records including tax returns, Social Security card, and several years of bank and credit card statements. His passport and a photocopy of his driver's license were also in there. I also found a score of past due notices for his mortgage, car loans, and boat. This bastard was in serious financial trouble. I photocopied the documents on the machine which was conveniently located next to his desk then put everything back where I found it and resumed my search. I struck the mother load when I looked underneath his desk drawer. There was a piece of paper taped there with all of his passwords written on it. Dumb ass. I finished my search in his garage where I found a beautiful Corvette convertible. I also found three empty five gallon gas cans. My mind raced at the possibilities. I checked my watch. It was six PM. Time to take action. I snuck back to my bike carrying a file box chuck full of revenge. I began dialed Eva on the room phone at ten PM local time like I promised. I didn't get through until almost 11. She was very defensive and got annoyed when I started asking questions about her day. Hard ones, like "What is the name of the company they called on today?" I kept her on the phone for an hour until she said she was exhausted from the time change and had to go to bed. I noted she said go to bed, not go to sleep. I had one more ace up my sleeve and decided to escalate the pressure. "Since you're not working Sunday I 'm going to take the red eye out and spend the day with you." "No, no, no, that's not necessary. There was terror in her voice. I swear I could hear the ass hole asking her what was going on. She really panicked when I said I was going to surprise her and only told her because I didn't want to take a chance of missing her. I kept up the charade, "I'm looking forward to spending all day tomorrow with my loving wife and sleeping with her in room 719." At minimum that should make the cheap bastard pay for another room. "I'll even see if I can get your seat changed so we can sit together on our way home." I called the hotel later and verified Ronald Walters rented a room. Chalk up one small victory for the home team. I called Eva at eleven the next morning to apologize because I couldn't get a flight out on such short notice. Her response baffled me. "How dare you embarrass me in front of my boss." "How would you be embarrassed if your husband showing up to spend your day off with you?" "Because it would look like you don't trust me." "I think you know the answer to that." . "What do you mean by that crack?" "I know." She didn't answer. All I could hear was her whimper. After about a minute the phone clicked off without a word being said. But what could Eva say. She could deny it all she wanted but I had a zip drive chock full of pictures and e-mails that proved otherwise. * * * * * Monday afternoon. Eva sank into the couch as though the life had left her. "What's wrong? I would have expected you would be glad to be back home with the man who loves you." There was no response, continuing the silence which marked our ride home from the airport. She finally spoke around six. All she wanted for dinner was a deep dish pizza so I had one delivered. "So did you earn the promotion? I made no attempt to hide the contempt in my voice as I said the word earn. The next thing I knew the pizza was flying through the air; Eva stormed out of the room and locked herself in our bedroom. The slam of the door echoed throughout the house. I finished the slice I was eating and walked upstairs. I tried the knob. Locked. "You can either unlock the door or I'll get a screwdriver and pop the hinge pins. Either way we're talking face to face." The door opened. Eva's eyes were red and swollen. "I am your husband. I promised to love you for better or for worse. I take those vows very seriously. It looks like you brought worse into our house. We need to talk to make it go away." I took her hands in mine. "If you want to save our marriage you must agree to three things. One, you must quit your job immediately. Two, we will find a marriage counselor, and three you must tell me what is weighing so heavy on your soul. There is nothing you could have done that I will not forgive you for. It's not too late to save our marriage" Eva looked at me. For a second I thought she was going to agree to all three. Instead she said, in a voice barely louder than a whisper," I can't." * * * * * It was a very stressful month. On her first day back Eva's transmission blew up...something about a connection coming loose and all of the fluid draining out. When I found out how much a new tranny would cost I sold it to an auto salvage yard. Eva had to rely on me for transportation to and from work. This greatly limited her mobility. These rides were usually made in silence. We were sleeping in separate bedrooms. Every day I begged her to quit her job. She soon stopped responding. Instead she said she was going on another trip for work, "I can't quit. I'll need a job to support me when we're divorced. My heart damn near stopped. "I'm leaving Friday morning at 10." * * * * * On Thursday night I put into effect operation weekend spoiler. Since Eva had made the choice to abandon our marriage I took steps to protect my finances, including removing our joint checkbook and all of the credit cards from her purse. I left her a five dollar bill. I had learned there are nefarious sites where financial information can be posted to destroy someone's credit. I picked one that looked particularly sleazy. Walters' FICA score wasn't too good to start with but within minutes it was a train wreck. Every credit card rocketed past its limits and was soon cancelled. Since he was on the plane no one could get a hold of him to give the bad news. Thanks to the passport and Social Security card Ronald Walters' name soon appeared on watch lists at Homeland Security and Interpol. Due to the number of clones using his identity he was placed on the no fly list. One minute after the airplane was wheels up a trusted accomplice called the hotel to cancel Walters' reservation. The desk clerk was happy for the advanced notice as there was a big convention in town and rooms were a precious commodity. The hotel manager was sympathetic but said there was nothing to do. He had no vacancies. Walters started dialing hotels in search of a room. On his twenty-first call he found one at a very premium price. The clerk said he would need full payment over the phone. Image Walters' surprise when his American Express car was declined. Then his Master Card. Then his Visa. Discover too. When he ran out of cards he ordered Eva to give him hers. The moment she opened her wallet she sighed, "They're all gone. He must have taken them." Walters began frantically dialing credit card companies trying to get someone to reissue a card. His credit was so weak before the problem the best they could do was say they would have a supervisor review the request call him back tomorrow. Without a credit card between them the wanna be adulterers spent the night on chairs in the lobby. I had kept them from having sex at least one night. Saturday brought even more fun as the FBI showed up to talk to Walters about his passport appearing all around the world. It also seems they got an anonymous tip about him smuggling weapons mislabeled as consumer goods. Eva got to spend the day sitting on a stiff backed chair while the agents checked out a 'few details'. She spent her $5 bill on candy and chips from the vending machine. At a few minutes after eight the FBI said they were releasing Walters but warned him that his problems were far from over. Operation Weekend Spoiler One of the agents took pity and offered to give them a ride to the airport. He said Walters' name was on the no fly list and he would need at least a day for TSA to straighten that out. An hour before the plane took off he was finally allowed to board. Eva ignored him for the entire trip. Walters tried to buy a drink with his last twenty however United is cashless and his credit cards were plastic garbage. * * * * * Like the previous month I picked her up at O'Hare Field. Our reunion was an unemotional as though I were a cab driver. Eva always took great pride in her appearance. Today she looked like hell. She was still wearing the knee length red dress—one of my favorites—she had on when she left only now it was all rumpled. She had lost her black nylons; her hair was a mess and she had no makeup on. In short, she looked like a refugee. I guess three days sleeping on chairs multiplied by four days in the same outfit without a shower will do that to a person. I kept trying to engage her in conversation, any conversation. All she would say was "I don't want to talk. This was the weekend from hell." I hope she didn't see me grinning. Just before we got home Eva's cell phone rang. "Don't answer that. We need to talk" "I have to. It's work." "No, not until you talk with me first." She didn't answer. Seconds later the phone chirped to say she had received a text message. "Ignore that." I ordered. She read it anyway. A gasp escaped her lips. I grabbed the phone. "So let's see what made my loving wife gasp." I read the message out loud. "All in caps, gee this must be important. ANSWER THE PHONE!!! HOUSE BURNED DOWN!!! POLICE THINK I DID IT!!! GET OVER HERE NOW!!! "Huh. Now the phone call I received on my way to the airport from a Tribune reporter makes sense. He said my wife was having an affair with the leader of an arson for profit ring. Said they would torch houses going into foreclosure for the insurance money and you went to New Orleans with your lover to provide an alibi. He also said he had pictures of you fucking him when you went away on business last month. He sent them over to prove he had them. I haven't had the stomach to look at them. I looked at Eva. Her face was white as a sheet. Her bottom lip was quivering but she didn't make a sound. "I cussed the reporter out and said our lawyer would sue the paper for liable if they printed one word. I guess I owe him an apology. I tried to control my rage as I spoke. Eva's phone rang again. I looked at the caller ID and barked, "Don't call this number again or else." There was no response. "I guess your lover didn't want to talk to me." By now tears were streaming down her cheeks. "How could this be happening?" "Excuse me, could you please repeat that. I couldn't hear you." I shouted. She took a deep breath then repeated, "How could this be happening?" "That's funny because I've been asking myself that same question ever since I hung up on that reporter." I was stupid enough to think we had a happy marriage. I was stupid enough to trust you. I was stupid enough to think we would have children and grow old together." I looked at my wife. She couldn't look at me. "Why?" I demanded. I was shaking so bad I pulled the car off the Kennedy Expressway and found a spot to park. My phone rang again. It was another reporter. Eva was sobbing as I began to speak, "A statement...you want me to make a statement. Here's my statement. How would you like to find out your wife of fifteen years is fucking an arsonist. Print that!" I hung up. Eva was sobbing so hard she was having trouble catching her breath. I wasn't going to answer the next call until I saw it was the Park Ridge Police Department. They wanted to speak with Walters' alibi. "Officer," I said, "my wife wants to swear out a complaint against Walters for blackmailing her to have sex. Yes, we can produce full documentation of this charge. I can also prove he blackmailed at least three other women who worked for him. Fine, we'll be there in about an hour." Eva's eyes grew large. I could barely understand her when she asked, "How did you know that?" I held my finger in front of my mouth and said, "Shhhh, don't talk." I had been dreaming of humiliating Eva and now that it was happening I began to lose my resolve. From somewhere deep in the recesses of my heart a tiny ember still glowed that said I must protect my wife. I turned both phones off and we sat there until we were cried out. Eva broke the silence, "You must hate me." "If you had asked me one hour ago I would have said I hated you worse than I have ever hated anyone. Now I'm just numb...like my soul's been torn out of my chest." Eva was breathing like an asthmatic needing their inhaler. I didn't sound much better. "Why did you do it?" "Honest to God I didn't know anything about arson." "I know you don't." "Oh. You mean the affair" "Yes," I screamed, "The affair. The one where the woman who pledged eternal fidelity to me before all of our friends and family betrayed me by fucking a piece of human shit. That affair. Not the one you let yourself get blackmailed into, I'm talking about the one you went into as a voluntary participant. That affair! Well! Why did you do it?" Eva buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry I yelled. Please answer the question. I have to know the reason." "I've asked myself that a million times. He's an incredible salesman. I turned 35 and was starting to feel old. He somehow picked up on that and laid a line on bullshit on me. I didn't just jump in bed with him. He wore me down with tiny steps. He convinced me it would restore my self esteem...make me feel young and desirable again. I can't believe how stupid I was." "I always tell you look beautiful." "That's different. I could have black eye and you would find a way to compliment me about it." "So destroying our marriage was my reward. This is fucking crazy. I should have been a son-of-a-bitch and treated you like Johnny treats your sister. Talk about black eyes, she's had to cover up her share of them. I'd hate to see what her face would look like if she cheated on him." The car grew quiet. "I always loved when you looked at me like no one else exists. I felt so special." "But not special enough to remain faithful." I answered. "I never wanted to hurt you." "But you did. You hurt me. You destroyed me...you destroyed us." Tears were rolling down her cheeks. I had only seen the look she had on her face once before, the day her father died in her arms. "You seem surprised that there are consequences to your actions. So how did you think it would end?" "When I was sitting on the airplane Friday morning I made up my mind I was going to kill myself by jumping of the hotel balcony. My period was late and, since I refused to have sex with you, I assumed it was that bastard's baby. That was more than I could endure. So I expected it to end with my broken body lying in a pool of blood on the sidewalk. I wrote you a note." She handed me a folded up piece of paper. Jim, There are no words that can express my deep sorrow for the pain I caused you. I am too embarrassed to face you and am taking the coward's way out. I am so sorry. Eva "The only reason I didn't go through with it was I didn't have a balcony to use. Then, when I was sitting in the lobby at the FBI offices, a miracle happened. I got my period. I almost leapt for joy knowing I wasn't pregnant. When that bastard came out I told him if he even tried to talk to me I would claw his eyes out. * * * * * The detectives conferred with Eva and said I could sit in while they interviewed her provided I keep quiet. It seems a messenger delivered a manila envelope with copies of e-mails and pictures from Walters' computer. I got to listen to the history of my wife's affair in great detail. Then they showed her pictures. She identified Walters' and admitted everything she did was consensual, then added, "Except the pictures. I didn't know anything about any pictures." The older detective handed me the photos to examine. I already knew each one by heart. She looked at me and said, "I'm so sorry." "Don't worry we have his computer and he's not getting it back." "Okay, let's move along to after you broke off the affair. They handed her copies of the e-mails in which he threatened to distribute the pictures if she didn't resume the affair. What did you do when you got the last one?" "I went into his office and told him I wasn't going to let him blackmail me." "What did he do?" "He got up and closed the door. Then he showed me his laptop. It was covered with pictures of me naked." He asked, "Should I press send?" "I was devastated. The air got sucked out of my lungs and I had to sit down." "What happened next?" "Walters said I have two weeks to change my mind." "I shrugged and said I guess I don't have a choice." I moaned when I heard that. "He smiled and said, "Atta girl. Now don't look so glum. We had a lot of fun together but we have to be careful around here...too many big ears. But I know a way we can stick a trip to the coast on the company". A couple days later he tells me his administrative assistant cover story. He said if took vacation days and stopped by a couple of customers he could write the whole weekend off on the company." Eva spent the next half hour telling the detectives how he sexually abused her in San Francisco. They asked her a number of embarrassing questions. When she got to the part about me saying I was going to fly out on the red eye she managed a small smile and said, "Walters' flew into a rage when he thought Jim was coming." She spent the next hour detailing her forced trip to Florida. Several times during the telling she paused and looked at me as if looking for some reaction. I tried to look stoic. "It was like the weekend was cursed. Someone definitely was watching over me." She gave me another small smile. The older detective caught it. "Mr. Herron, when did you first learn of your wife's affair?" I stuck with the story I had been rehearsing. "This afternoon on my way to the airport a reporter from the Tribune called to tell me my wife was having an affair with an arsonist. He also told me you received enough information from an anonymous source to take that sexual predator off the streets for a long time." It was dark out when we finally left the station. The detectives said they had a meeting scheduled with the head of Human Relations to track down the other victims. When we got to the car I held the door open out of force of habit. I started the car and threw it into gear. Eva spoke, "I know I don't have the right to ask a favor but I would appreciate a ride to my mother's house." I didn't answer but started to drive in that direction. After a couple of miles I pulled into the parking lot of an Italian restaurant. "I don't understand." "I can hear your stomach growing. When is the last time you ate?" "Almost two days ago. Five bucks doesn't go too far on vending machine food." I laughed for the first time in two months. "I can't go in there. I look horrible." "I'll bring it out. We can eat at home." Eva's face lit up like life had returned to her body. "You said home!" "Our home. So, what would you like to eat?" It took her a minute to compose herself enough to answer. * * * * * An hour later we were finishing our meal when Eva knelt down in front of me. "To my eternal shame I had no idea you would be my guardian angel, swooping down from heaven while swinging the fiery sword of justice. You saved my life." "I don't know what you're talking about." "Can you ever forgive me?" "I honestly don't know. But I'm willing to try." "Will you ever be able to trust me again?" "It's not going to happen overnight but it can be earned." "Will you ever tell me the whole story of what happened this weekend?' "Maybe, when I trust you." Eva giggled. "Thank you for giving me a second chance. I promise I won't disappoint you again." I cupped her face in my hands and stared in her eyes, "You better not. I have fifteen years invested in you." * * * * * Sending an envelope to the news desk of every Chicago TV station and newspaper was inspired. Each got a ream of damning evidence...copies of past due letters from the mortgage holder threatening foreclosure and letters threatening to repossess his cars and boat. The naked pictures were included just to be spiteful. Judging by the phone calls my timing had been perfect. When the fire department extinguished the blaze they were able to establish the point of origin as the garage. The arson investigator soon found the remains of a number of gas cans as well as a slightly melted seven day timer which was used to trigger the conflagration. At the appointed time the circuit was completed and electricity surged from the timer through the wires and ignited a bucket full of gasoline. The resulting fireball engulfed the Corvette convertible before spreading through the house. By the time the first truck arrived the cedar shake roof was ablaze. Years ago I bought one of those devices that disguise your voice for a Halloween party. It worked perfect for the anonymous call to the police department the day after the fire. Instead of a 36 year old man they heard the high pitched voice of a young lady calling with a tip on a recent fire. "I know who started the fire. He was bragging that you wouldn't catch him." Another anonymous phone call told the police when the arsonist would be home from his trip. Two detectives were waiting for him when he arrived. The first thing they did was confiscate his lap top. I also tracked down an old high school buddy, Joey P, a sleazy attorney who knew every gray area of the law. I told him my problem. He was thrilled to help. "No problem, here's how I see it. Thanks to the e-mails and pictures we can show a pattern of sexual harassment and blackmail. So we throw all the shit we can against the wall and see what sticks. The asshole doesn't have shit for assets but his employer has vaults full of cash. Their motto is 'we're the family friendly alternative'. All I have to do is threaten to expose the culture of sexual predators and they'll do anything we want to keep this hush-hush. "I mean his employer had to know something was up when a boss and his secretary take personal days off on the same weekend two months in a row. We'll depose the HR people and subpoena all sorts of personal records for the other women too. We'll have no problem proving this has happened before." "I think they're gonna roll over like a puppy with an itch. Damn boy, this is going to be fun." He personally served the papers on the president of Consumer Industries Monday morning at 9:01. The shit really hit the proverbial fan. I would love to see the look on Walters' face when the attorney for Consumer Industries showed up at the police department lock up. I wonder if he smirked at the detectives, confident he would be released. Instead he was handed papers saying he had been terminated for sexual misconduct and was on his own. I imagine his public defender wasn't too impressed when he found out his client's alibi was a married woman who was pressing charges against him for blackmailing her into having an affair. "They're offering you a plea deal...six years in jail followed by four years of probation. I would advise you to take it." Epilogue: In the Cook County penal system six years really means six months. But that still gave Walters a lot of time to think. Eventually he pieced the puzzle together and figured out that it had to be me that set him up. The first thing he did after getting out was to acquire a gun from a former cellmate. That night he went to visit our house. Or, should I say, our old house. We had taken the significant settlement we received and relocated to New Hampshire to start over. A Chicago Police Officer and his wife were the new owners. Officer O'Malley's dog alerted him to an intruder. He unholstered his service weapon and went downstairs to investigate. Walters got off the first shot, high and outside. O'Malley unloaded the clip into the invader. His aim was much better. Walters would never bother anyone again. So what happened between me and Eva you ask. I told her we would not reconsummate our marriage until she had blood tests done to make sure she hadn't caught anything. Thankfully my wife and I were cleared to resume our sex life. We have been going to a marriage counselor every week and are closer than ever and have reached the stage in our relationship where we are again trying to conceive a baby. And yes, one night before a roaring fireplace, I did regale Eva with the story of Operation Weekend Spoiler. She was very impressed.