114 comments/ 93008 views/ 19 favorites Never Got Over Her By: StangStar06 My thanks to Mikothebaby for her editing prowess in turning my jibberish into something readable. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # God Damn it he was at it again! Charlotte Ramsey was pissed. She was sure that her husband Jim was cheating on her. The worst thing about it was that it wasn't a one-time thing. He did this every once in a while on a regular basis. It was like a summer thing that he did every year. Did he think that she was stupid? Maybe it was just that she loved him so much. That made it worse. She loved that man like there was no tomorrow. He was compassionate, he was kind, he was a great provider and she was sure that he loved her too. If it wasn't for this yearly affair thing, he'd be the prefect husband. That was what made it so bad. There was literally nothing that she wouldn't do for him. It really irked her that he wouldn't give her the chance to do whatever this other woman was doing. She'd noticed over the past few years that their sex life had slowed, but she'd really thought that it was just the fact that they'd been together for so long. She'd decided to try to spice things up a bit when she noticed that he'd become distant and a little bit sadder. If she didn't know him better she'd swear that he was displaying the outward signs of depression. Charlotte couldn't imagine anything for him to be depressed about. They had a great home. They loved each other totally. She was sure that Jim was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Again, that was the reason why his affair was so awful. She'd often heard that men just needed some strange sex every once in a while and it didn't mean anything. But they had promised to love each other and be faithful til death did them part, not just until they got bored and sought out something exciting. She still had no idea about what to do about his affair. Maybe she should just let it go again and look the other way. He was always quiet for a few days afterwards. Charlotte usually attributed that to guilt. But within a week or so he always bounced back and became the best husband around again. Even their sex life improved after he came back from his little fling. There were just too many unanswered questions to think about. Jim was very discreet about his affair or affairs. There were never any women hanging around for anyone they knew to see or ask about. No late-night phone calls and no mysterious charges on their credit cards either. It was as if he took great pains to avoid embarrassing her in any way. In fact if she didn't know him the way she did, she wouldn't have been able to tell that he'd had an affair let alone one that had lasted for this many years. Charlotte didn't know whether he saw one woman or if there was someone new every time. If she had a preference, she'd truly prefer for it to be someone new every time. She'd much rather have her husband just meet someone in a hotel, have sex with them a few times with no strings attached and then go their separate ways. The alternative would be for it to be someone he'd known for a long time and had actually developed feelings for. In the worst case scenario, a long-time lover like that could eventually supplant her. Charlotte also wasn't sure about whether or not to confront him. Charlotte loved Jim completely. Though the affair bothered her, she'd rather put up with it than lose him. She thought with horror about how she could get angry about the affair, lose her cool and tell him that she knew. In her nightmares he just looked at her and said, "Well Charlotte, since you know, I guess you'd like a divorce. And to tell you the truth, you deserve better than a cheating bastard like me. I'll pack a few things and be out of here in a few minutes. I'll have my attorney contact you tomorrow about the divorce and the settlement." Then in her nightmares Jim did just that. He gave her the house and a fair monetary settlement and he went off to live with some younger woman who didn't have all of her flaws. For one moment of righteous indignation and confrontation, she'd lose the man she'd loved for most of her life. Charlotte also knew something else. She and Jim had been married for a long time. During that time she'd seen the marriages of her friends come and go. She'd seen divorces happen due to a number of reasons. Some of her friends were divorced because either they or their husbands cheated. Some were divorced because they'd grown apart. The common denominator in all of the differing cases was misery. For both spouses life was usually terrible after the divorce. People always talked about how it eventually got better. It really didn't. What happened was that after a few years, people just got used to being alone and they got used to being miserable. Most of the men went back to living like bachelors. For most of them that meant living in some shitty apartment alone, with no one to take care of them. The more well off men simply got a maid or a cleaning lady. They all gained the freedom to do whatever they fucking pleased whenever they wanted to. For the women unless they were some kind of slut, life was far worse. They literally had no one to take care of and no one to care for them. If they were even partially attractive they'd be set upon constantly by men who thought that being divorced was synonymous with being a whore. They all thought that divorced women were so desperate for dick that they'd fuck anyone. Most of your friends didn't invite you to do things as much either. Think about it. If you're having that backyard barbecue and you're thinking about who to invite, you think twice about inviting a divorced woman. You worry about her being the odd person out, so unless you have a suitable friend for her you simply don't invite her. You tell yourself it's because you don't want her to feel even lonelier by being alone, but really it's because having her there just makes you sad. On the other hand, the couples who stayed together after an affair had a tough time in the beginning, but eventually the ones who fought for their marriages ended up happier. Oh sure there were often weird moments and arguments between them for many years, but most marriages have those anyway. What difference does it make what you argue over? Right now she and Jim often argued over his fucking car. His prized Mustang was treated almost as if it was a living thing. He had lovingly restored the car himself. A purple 65 Mustang drew a lot of attention wherever they went. Would her life actually be better if she confronted him about the affair, or if she just let it go? Maybe she could just tell him that she knew and ask him why he needed to do it. Maybe if they talked about it she could find out what it was that he got from the woman or women that she didn't give him. If it was just about sex, that was no problem. She could be wilder or milder if he needed. She could be slutty, if that was what he wanted. If he wanted to just brutally pound her, she'd rather be sore for a few days than have him think that she wouldn't do something for him. If he wanted to fuck her ass, or pee on her, or tie her up it would be no problem. He just needed to tell her what he needed. God Damn it! It was, after all, her job to please him like he pleased her. And Jim did please her. He could eat her pussy until she was just a quivering lump of flesh on their big bed. He made love to her and she just felt so special and so loved that there was simply no better feeling in the world for her. Even after all of these years. And that was why it was just so God Damned painful to think about him doing it with someone else. A few moments later just as she was taking the lasagna out of the oven, she heard the sound of the Mustang's powerful motor pulling into their semi-circular driveway. A few moments after that Jim came into the kitchen and hugged her from behind. He kissed her just behind her left ear and wrapped his hands around her thickening waist. Her knees nearly buckled as he left his hands on her waist and rubbed her tummy. She longed for him to run his hands lower until they brushed over her skirt covered vagina. Or even to move upwards to cup her heavy middle-aged breasts. He would do all of those things a few days after his affair was over again. Maybe that was the reason for the affairs. He went out and fucked some young bimbo just to give him more appreciation of what he had at home waiting for him. Well he was crazy if he thought that some wet behind the ears twenty year old could be nastier for him than she could. Charlotte would do ANYTHING to please her man. She set out two plates and they ate. He asked about her day and how she filled it. He always seemed to be interested in whatever she had to tell him. She asked him about maybe going to the renaissance fair on the weekend. They loved to do that. They loved watching all of the people who dressed up in period clothing and walked around the area. Most of them always had something that made their clothing look really silly. Like the young men who wore nearly full suits of armor or a monks cloak and then ruined the effect by wearing gym shoes. Or the young women who wore beautiful dresses and then again ruined the affect because they had a plethora of unsightly tattoos. One thing about the renaissance fair though was that it was always Titty city. Nearly every woman there felt the need to wear something that displayed their breasts and for some reason most of the women who went had large busts. Charlotte sometimes dressed up for Jim when they came back. That was one of the advantages of growing older her breasts were much bigger than they'd been when they got married. After seeing all of those enticing pairs of breasts at the fair Jim couldn't wait to get his hands, lips and tongue on hers. It made her wet just thinking about it and her nipples were getting harder as she sat here, God Damn it, she thought again as she passed him the salt. Their marriage was so wonderful. Why did he have to risk fucking it up just to stick his dick somewhere that it simply didn't belong. "I love going to the Renaissance Fair, Honey," he said. "We will definitely go, but it can't be this weekend." She tensed even as he said the words that she'd known were coming. "I have to go out of town this weekend for work." "Okay, Honey," she heard herself say. "We'll go next weekend then." A little while later they laid down to bed. She kissed Jim goodnight and he wrapped his arms around her. Over the years she often wondered how the hell he could sleep with her on top of his arm. She knew that she loved it. She felt warm and loved and protected. She lay there thinking about how great a risk she'd be running, if she were to rock the boat. Could she find this feeling with someone else? She might find something similar she supposed, but could she find this exact feeling? This blending and sharing of two souls with any other man would be improbable. So why the fuck should she risk it. Looking at things from a purely selfish perspective, why the fuck should she give up her happiness just so she could try to take a little bit of Jim's? If she were stupid enough to damage her marriage it would hurt her at least as much as it would hurt Jim and probably more. He could go running off to whomever he ran off to. She'd be alone. She was mulling over other ways to handle the situation when the decision was made for her. Jim must've thought that she was asleep. She noticed that his breathing was ragged and something was going on with him. Then she realized that he was crying. Her big strong husband, the love of her life was crying his eyes out. Charlotte couldn't get over it. It made her feel like shit. He had wrapped his arms around her to make her feel loved and cared for, but all the while he was in his own personal hell for some reason. Some reason that he couldn't or wouldn't share with her. After giving it some thought, the only thing that he could be feeling this badly about is guilt. Jim was feeling guilty about what he was about to do. Charlotte's hands were tied. If he was feeling guilty about his affair, then deep down inside he really didn't want to do it. So confronting him about it, as long as she could come up with a way that didn't involve the possibility of divorce would be good for both of them. Maybe Charlotte didn't have all of the facts about the situation. Maybe the woman was forcing Jim to do it. The bitch, how dare she force Jim to do anything? She sighed and moved as if she was beginning to come awake. Jim reached up and wiped his eyes and stopped crying. Hold on baby, she thought. I'll find a way out of this for both of us. Maybe going through this together would make our marriage even stronger. Bright and early the next morning, Charlotte made Jim's breakfast while he showered and got ready for work. After he left she got on the internet and tried to find a local PI who could get some information on the bitch who was having the affair with her husband. She found an agency that specialized in surveillance on spouses. They claimed to be both discrete and thorough. They offered electronic as well as physical monitoring and told her that if something was going on, they'd get proof. Charlotte put them on the case starting that next morning when Jim would leave. At just before lunch time she left the house to go to the supermarket. She had to get the supplies she needed to make Jim one of his favorite meals before he left. While there, she ran into one of their old friends, Carl Bennett. Carl, formerly married to Joyce was half of one of those couples who'd divorced. He asked Charlotte to go out for coffee and she declined, but took his number and promised him a rain check. She really wanted to pick his brain about all things divorce related. Not that she wanted one, but hearing from someone who'd been through one could possibly help her to avoid one. Dinner that night was great. Jim looked at Charlotte as if she was the most precious jewel in his possession. It was so romantic. Charlotte decided then and there that her top priority from then on would be taking care of this affair. There was no way she would share her man with some strumpet any longer. The next morning after Jim left, Charlotte got a call from the PI firm. They had a couple of operatives following Jim and would be giving her daily updates, good or bad. After a few hours Charlotte was going crazy. She called Carl and tried to arrange to meet him for coffee. He was busy at work but offered to come over after work. She offered him dinner and he accepted. When Carl came over she warmed up leftovers from the previous night's dinner. Charlotte saw it as two old friends commiserating over their troubles. Carl saw it as an opportunity. After they ate she struggled trying to find a way to bring up the topic she wanted to discuss. Suddenly it came to her. "Carl, do you still think about Joyce sometimes?" Charlotte asked. "Only every day," he said. "I'd give anything not to have done what I did. But once she found out, there was no chance of reconciliation. I tried to explain to her that it was only sex. That didn't go very far. I see myself every day getting closer to becoming one of those lonely bitter old men. I'll never know why I did it." "Carl, if you could have prevented the divorce, would you have?" she asked him. "Of course," he said. "I'd have done anything for a second chance. It wasn't like I loved the woman. It was only sex, and even then it was really just about having something different. Humans aren't wired to be bored. So when we get something the same way over and over again it becomes stale. Plus there's the fact that men, at least some of us are born to be hunters. We live for the thrill of the chase. The prize isn't really the prize. The hunt means everything." Charlotte thought about what he was saying. Maybe that was all it was with Jim, just the thrill of the hunt. Or maybe it was the something different thing. Carl excused himself to go to the bathroom while Charlotte got them a couple of beers. When Carl got back he sat down next to Charlotte instead of across from her. "Charlotte could you get me a coaster?" he asked. "I don't want to stain your coffee table. You should probably use one too." She got up to get the coasters thinking about how considerate Carl was. "Charlotte, what did you really invite me over here to talk about?" asked Carl from back in the living room. Charlotte didn't answer him at first. She waited until she was sitting across from him again. "Carl I think that Jim is having an affair," she told him. Carl just looked down as if he couldn't face her. Carl looked over at Charlotte. He pretended that he felt bad, but inwardly he was as happy as he could be. When he'd gone to the bathroom, he'd retrieved a small vial of his favorite date rape cocktail from his pocket. After hearing Charlotte's concerns he had a better idea. It would also be less risky. The added benefit was that awake and aware pussy was so much better than drugged pussy. When he drugged them they never even reacted to what he was doing. It was barely better than fucking a blowup doll. As he looked across at Charlotte he considered what he was about to do. Both Charlotte and Jim had been friends of his at one time. The thought was quickly discarded as he considered both his need and the fact that all of the people he'd once considered friends had abandoned him after his divorce. Most of them still saw Joyce occasionally but he was persona non grata. He'd clearly been labeled the villain to Joyce's victim. Therefore, Charlotte and all of his other ex-friends deserved what they got. He appraised Charlotte carefully. Her breasts were very nice. They were heavy but still sat up straight. He was sure that once he got her out of her clothes they'd probably sag a bit, but that was a plus in his book. Her ass was a little wide but it would be easier to hang onto once they got going. Her thighs were a bit fleshy and her tummy was just a bit soft. But all in all, she was a great specimen for a woman her age. He had himself a goldmine. Maybe he'd keep this one for a while. "Carl, what's wrong?" she asked. "Do you know something?" "Charlotte, I think that Jim has probably fallen prey to the same thing that hit me. It isn't something that people talk about a lot, but it can be very bad if not handled correctly," he said. Carl's face looked as if he was about to cry. "I mean think about it Charlotte. You and Jim are a lot like Joyce and I were. Jim is a good looking guy. I mean that from the perspective of one man looking at another, not in a gay way. And you're a very attractive woman. You guys have a nice life and you obviously love each other a lot. Then it hits like the Japanese attacking Pearl. It attacks without warning leaving only devastation in its wake." "What attacks?" she asked, leaning forward closer to Carl. "Charlotte, you hear a lot about women having a mid-life crisis. Suddenly they go off and have an affair with some gigolo and just aren't the same. Or they become a shrew and start hating everyone. Some of them actually become someone else and just up and decide to totally change their life. They need a new husband and a new career and a new everything. It's different for everyone. Some women go through it and just have mood swings for a while. Others just go totally ape-shit and alienate their entire family and circle of friends." I nodded because I knew a few women like that. I had been lucky and just suffered mild mood swings and boredom. I got medication for it and once my hormones stabilized, I was back to my old self again. "Most people think that when men go through it nothing happens. In most cases that is true. In others the guys do something silly like deciding to run a marathon or climb a mountain. In a few cases they need to feel young again, so they go out and buy some silly impractical sports car. Uhm, I wasn't talking about Jim's Mustang of course. You know what I mean. Anyway, the really bad cases like mine and I suspect Jim's, has the guy feeling really old and unwanted, so he goes out and gets a wilder younger woman. In some of the worse cases, like mine, the guy tries to run off with her and just leaves his wife and their entire life behind." Never Got Over Her Charlotte looked at Carl with a horrified expression. Until he saw the look on her face Carl had been thinking that he'd piled it on a bit thick. "I was making plans to leave Joyce when she found out about my affair," he said. "Things with Joyce and I weren't as good as they are with you and Jim though. Your marriage might be salvageable. I hope you do the right things to make sure that the two of you stay together. Jim really loves you. I've heard him say that at least a million times." "I love him too," Charlotte said. "What do I need to do to save us?" "Charlotte, I'm not sure I'm the one to tell you," said Carl. "It might get to be a bit uncomfortable." "I'm willing to do anything to save my marriage," said Charlotte. "Well in order to do that you have to gently lead Jim back from the woman he's cheating with by showing him that you have everything she has," said Carl. "I do," she said weakly. "I have everything Jim needs...Don't I?" "How would I know?" asked Carl. "I've always considered you a friend I've never looked at you like that." "Well look at me like that, please Carl." Charlotte whined. Carl looked at her, then turned his head and looked down at the floor. "Charlotte you always dress so nicely," he said. "But that's part of the problem. The women that are trying to attract your husband are out there dressing like sluts. That way any man who is interested in her can see what she has to offer. She's not going to sit around, especially not in the privacy of her own home all covered up so no one can see her. She wants to be seen and she wants your man to see her." "Stay here Carl," Charlotte told him. She got up and went up the stairs into her bedroom. While Charlotte was gone Carl made a phone call to a friend of his. He'd just gotten off of the phone when Charlotte came back down the stairs. Charlotte was wearing a very low cut blouse that showed off her large mature breasts. Carl was impressed. Her tits looked a lot better than he'd expected. She also wasn't wearing a bra. She wasn't turned on at all though, because as sheer as the silky blouse was her nipples were not erect at all. She'd put on a skirt that matched the blouse and was much shorter than the one she'd been wearing. As she stepped back towards Carl it was all he could do to keep his mouth from watering. Her ass jiggled tantalizingly with every step. He was going to enjoy this. She sat down across from him again. "How's this Carl?" she asked. "You're beautiful and very sexy for a woman of your age," said Carl. "The problem is that Jim wants someone wild and uninhibited; someone who's willing to do anything to give him pleasure. He's probably hooked up with a real slut. The average woman just can't pull that off. He wants something that he ain't getting at home." "I can be a slut, if I have to," said Charlotte. "I can be anything that Jim needs me to be." Carl shook his head and looked down at his feet again. "Sure you can Charlotte," he said. "You don't believe me, do you?" she asked. Charlotte got up and went over and sat down beside Carl. She took a big swig of her beer and leaned forward until she was sure that Carl could see a lot of her breasts. "Carl was the woman you cheated with a slut?" she asked. "Boy, what a slut," said Carl smiling. "And that's a good thing?" asked Charlotte. "Oh yeah," said Jim, practically screaming. "Men at our age start to feel their mortality. We start to imagine ourselves dying and retiring though not necessarily in that order. We start to think about all of the things we missed out on in life. We start to evaluate the things that we have and the things that we've missed out on. After being married for a long time to a really nice girl, we start to wonder what it would've been like to be with that slut who fucked everybody. We wonder what it would be like to have that wild crazy girl who'd do anything for her man; even if it's just for a little while, or maybe once or twice a year." Charlotte's eyes got huge. "It's really hard for a normal, average, boring little housewife to compete with that girl," he said. "And sometimes it's even harder for the man to come back to what he has after sampling the hotness." "Carl, you have to help me compete with the hotness," begged Charlotte. "I don't want to lose Jim. I'd do anything for him." Carl put his arm around Charlotte and started to rub her back. He reached around and started to softly rub one of her big soft breasts. God it felt good. It was so big and warm. Charlotte had a terrified look in her eyes. She wasn't enjoying this at all. She bit her lip and just sat there, with no reaction. Carl began to re-assess his decision not to use the date rape cocktail. "See what I mean?" he said. "Even though we're doing this to save your marriage, you can't get into it." "Yes I can," whined Charlotte. "Take off that blouse," said Carl. Charlotte did as he asked. She stood before him nervously with her arms covering her breasts. "Now take off the skirt," said Carl. Charlotte again reluctantly complied. Now she was standing right in front of Carl naked except for her panties. When she'd gone upstairs to change Charlotte had left her original underwear on. Her "Granny Panties" seemed out of place on the nearly naked woman. "Carl, I'm not sure about this," she said. Her sanity was beginning to overrule the situation. "See that's exactly what I mean," he hissed. "The boring little housewives don't have a chance against the sluts, because the sluts just don't give a fuck. They'll do anything to get what they want. And what she wants is to have your husband wrapped around her little finger. After she gives him a taste, he'll do anything she wants. He'll leave you for her. He'll work his ass off to support her. And then when she gets bored with him, she'll leave him for someone new. She'll leave him a broken shell of a man and it'll be your fault." "Why will it be my fault?" asked Charlotte "Because you were the one who wasn't willing to do what it took to save your marriage," he snapped at her. "Carl, please give me another chance," she whined. "I don't know if I want to anymore," he said. "The mood is kind of gone." "What could get you back in the mood?" she asked. "What did Joyce do when you weren't feeling in the mood?" Carl laughed. He couldn't think of any time a healthy male wasn't in the mood for sex. "Well Joyce used to give me a blowjob," he said quietly. Charlotte bit her lip and considered what he was asking. Just the thought of doing something like that revolted her, but if it would help to save her marriage she had to at least try. Still the thought of doing something like that with someone other than her husband was alien to her. "Carl, would it be okay if I just let you have sex with me instead?" she asked. "Well okay," said Carl. He spoke as if he was reluctant but doing it as a favor to Charlotte. Charlotte laid down on the couch and spread her legs while Carl got undressed. His penis wasn't as big as Jim's. That was a good thing. He rubbed the head of it up and down her slit for a few moments and then tried to push it in. It hurt her like hell and didn't get very far before she screamed. "Wait a minute Carl," said Charlotte. She ran back upstairs. Carl almost went off watching her big ass jiggling as she ran up the stairs. Her boobs were flying unrestrained and it only added to his arousal. Charlotte came back down the stairs still just jiggling away. She had a small bottle of flavored lube in one hand. She squirted some into her hand and rubbed it on her pussy. Carl almost didn't make it. He thought about math and that helped him to calm down. Then he thought about what Jim would do to him if he caught them. He tried again to push his dick into Charlotte and this time with the aid of the lube it went in. Charlotte's pussy was tight as hell but the lube helped. He started stroking in and out of her. As tight as she was he knew that he wouldn't last long. It felt so good he wanted to just scream. And to think that bastard Jim got to fuck this pussy whenever he wanted it. Carl looked down at Charlotte's face. She was just looking up at him. If he didn't know any better he'd have thought that she was about to cry. She really wasn't enjoying this at all. Her nipples still weren't hard and she was just lying there like a rock while he fucked her. Well, fuck her, he was enjoying himself. All too soon he felt the tingling sensation that alerted him that he was going to cum. "Charlotte, I'm almost there," he said. "Okay," she said in a lackluster voice. She sounded glad that it was almost over. Okay, thought Carl. Just okay, was all she said? What about it's okay I'm on the pill or I'm safe. Why just okay? Carl didn't want to take any chances. He pulled out and shot his sperm all over her stomach and chest. "God Damn that was good," he said. He looked over to find that Charlotte had tears in her eyes. She was crying and had curled herself up into a ball. Then she got up and ran out of the room into the downstairs bathroom. She threw up and just kept throwing up. Then she ran upstairs into that bathroom and turned on the shower. She got into the shower and just stood there under the water. Even as it cascaded down on her she wondered if she would ever get clean. Carl went up to the upstairs bathroom and went in. "Get out Carl," she screamed at him. "It's okay, baby, I've already seen you," he said. "That wasn't good at all. If you're going to compete with the sluts, you're going to have to be better than that. That was awful." "I'm not going to compete with the sluts, Carl," she said. "I will not try to keep my husband, by betraying him. After what I've already done, I just feel sick. Get the fuck out of my house. I know you tricked me. Maybe I'm a little bit naïve and a bit old fashioned, but I'm not stupid. You got what you wanted Carl, so just go." "But..." he began. "Carl, isn't it bad enough that you took advantage of a friend while she was desperate to save her marriage and a little bit out of her head. You already ruined your marriage and now you've pulled mine down the tube after you. Just get out. And if I was you, I'd leave town." "Why should I leave town? I didn't ruin your marriage. No one knows about this. Jim won't find out," said Carl. "Oh yeah, Jim is going to find out," she said. "I'm going to tell him, as soon as he gets home." "But why would you do that?" asked Carl. "You said that he's having an affair too. This is perfect. If he finds out just tell him that he had his affair and you had yours. But you can't go through with it and you want to work on saving your marriage. The scales are even so no one has to feel badly about it. You can just go forward and both of you agree not to ever do it again. It's perfect. It gives you the opening you need to bring his affair into the light without attacking him and you can just move past it. Sometimes marriages that have been through one of these things are stronger for it. The little bump in the road only serves to illustrate how much you need and want to be with each other. Charlotte thought about what he'd said. It actually did make sense. If she'd just confronted Jim as if she was looking down on him or condemning him for his affair, he'd probably react the way he had in her fantasy. He'd try to avoid the conflict and just divorce her. But this way they were somewhat even. "I'd still leave town, if I was you though Carl," she said. "When Jim gets back in town and finds out what happened, he's not going to be pleased." Charlotte hoped that she'd be able to work things out with Jim. The two things she could always count on from Jim were, first, that he loved her very much. And second that he was a fair and reasonable man. Across town, Jim hadn't left the city at all. He never did. He simply checked into a hotel room that was far enough away from home that Charlotte wasn't likely to run into him. This in itself was unlikely because he never left the room. The only two times he might run into someone were when he checked in and when he checked out. As far as his car being spotted, this was again very easy to handle. First, he didn't drive his flashy purple 65 Mustang. He left it at home. He drove his very run of the mill, blue Ford Fusion, parked it at the airport, and took a cab to the hotel. If someone saw his car at the airport it would make perfect sense since he was supposedly out of town. Unfortunately, all of this was for naught since Charlotte's detectives had been on him from the moment that he left the house. They'd watched him check in, followed him to see which room he was in, and even called him to come to the front desk because someone had left him a package. The package was an envelope that contained several offers for cable internet service and massages from a local massage parlor. The real point of calling him back to the front desk was to allow the operatives to quickly install several wireless cameras, microphones, and even a remote viewer in his laptop. The operatives sat back to watch Jim and were very surprised at what he did. He spent probably an hour simply sitting on his bed. Then he started crying. His laptop beeped and he opened an email with an attachment. The operatives downloaded a copy of the attachment even as Jim did. Since their computer was faster, they were able to open it before Jim did. It was a picture of a striking, young blond woman who couldn't have been more than twenty years old. Jim didn't look at the picture on his screen, instead he printed it. Then he got several other pictures from his briefcase. The detectives couldn't be sure even though their cameras were HD quality if the other pictures were the same young woman. Her hair was different and she appeared younger in them. Jim got all of the pictures together, looked at them for a while, and then he started talking to the pictures in a very low voice. Then he started crying all over again. The detectives couldn't explain Jim's actions but he was clearly in love with the young woman. Either he was waiting for her to arrive or he was trying to break things off with her and needed the time away from his wife to grieve over the loss of the relationship, alone. Or she'd broken things off with him and again he was trying to get over it by himself. There was also the possibility that she'd asked him to do something that he didn't want to do and he had to make a very painful decision. Maybe she wanted him to leave his wife. It was obvious that the man loved his wife very much. None of the detectives had ever seen anyone who was carrying on an affair, take a large framed picture of his wife into the room with him before. Well there had been that one case in Detroit where the man hated his wife so much that he enjoyed looking at her face while he fucked other women. But this case wasn't like that one. The detectives were sure of one thing though. There was something going on between their client's spouse and this mysterious young woman. The senior detective called their client. He told her that there was definitely an affair going on and they'd have proof soon. The woman hadn't arrived yet but she was young and had blond hair. The man obviously preferred blonds since his wife had blond hair as well. The client told the detectives that they could pack their equipment and just submit the proof they had so far. She didn't need pictures or video of her husband having relations with another woman. Just proof that there was something going on was enough. She could confront him and try to save their marriage by using the knowledge of his affair as a bargaining chip. The detectives shut off the cameras and the mics and got ready to leave. If the customer was satisfied, so were they. The senior detective took one more look at the picture on the computer screen. The young woman was beautiful, but also familiar. Then again there was something about the picture that just didn't seem right. He decided to investigate the picture further, just for his own satisfaction. The next morning Charlotte felt even worse about what she'd done. She couldn't get out of bed. She kept taking showers and baths hoping to feel clean again. The phone rang at about lunch time. It was Carl asking her if he could come over. She slammed the phone down so hard she nearly broke the handset. Then she started crying again. While she was sitting on her couch crying, the door behind her opened. Jim had come home early. He rushed over to her and took her in his arms. He wiped away all of her tears and told her that whatever the problem was they were together again and they'd solve it together. He smiled and looked at her and she smiled too. "So what's the problem, Honey?" he asked. "Jim, I've known for awhile about your affair," said Charlotte. "So while you were gone this time I had a team of detectives follow you, but that's not the bad part. I was so upset about what you were doing to me....to us, that I started listening to Carl and he tricked me into having sex with him. I didn't want to be dishonest or lie to you about it. It was a horrible mistake and it only happened once. I didn't mean to betray you Jim, it just happened. It will never happen again, I swear it." She looked at the man she loved and he was just standing there in front of her shaking his head. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked away from her. She got back in front of him. "Jim, I love you and only you, I didn't mean for it to happen. But in a way the scales are balanced. We both had our affairs. Now we can promise each other that they're over and move on from them. We'll, of course, need to talk about them or get counseling...." she was interrupted as the phone started ringing. Charlotte started to just let it go to voice mail, but something in the back of her head told her to answer it. "Hello," said Charlotte. "Mrs. Ramsey?" said the voice on the phone. "Yes," said Charlotte. "Do not confront your husband. That would not be a good thing to do. This is Herman from Arturo Rios Investigations. We handled your husband's surveillance. Your husband, if he is having an affair isn't doing it with the young woman in the pictures. She doesn't exist. I'll know more about it by tomorrow when I speak to the guy the pictures came from. But don't do anything yet because we have no proof of his affair yet. The woman he is having the affair with probably showed up after you sent us home. We need more time to get you proof." Charlotte put the phone down and went back to talk to Jim. An icy feeling clutched her chest. She noticed first that the door was wide open and then that his suitcases that he always took with him on trips were gone. The garage was open and his purple Mustang was gone as well. Charlotte had a sinking feeling that Jim had left her. She crumpled to the floor and just sat there for a while as her emotions just ran away with her. She was sad, angry, hurt, and terrified all at the same time. She was very sure that deep down inside Jim loved her as much as she loved him. This was just a misunderstanding. If it meant that much to him he could continue his affair. Hell, it was only a few days once a year. And it always happened around the same time. There was something about that time of the year that just triggered it. Whoever the woman was it must be when she took her vacation. But actually it just didn't make sense. There was no way that a woman would only fuck her lover once a year. It made no sense. There was probably a different woman every year. Realizing that there was no single woman who might be in love with Jim made Charlotte felt better. She needed to find some way to contact Jim so they could talk this out. Never Got Over Her The funny thing about it was Jim's reaction. He didn't look embarrassed or ashamed or even surprised that he'd been caught. He looked angry and hurt. His reaction would have made sense if he hadn't been the one who'd had an affair first. As a matter of fact he had no reason to be angry or upset at all. He should have been sorry and begging for her forgiveness. It just didn't seem like Jim to hold onto some kind of double standard where he could have an affair, but then be hurt when she slipped one time. In his case, this had been going on for a very long time, every year like clockwork. In her case it had happened one fucking time. And even then she'd been tricked or taken advantage of. He had never felt guilty enough about his affair or been honest enough to come clean about it. She had felt so badly about the betrayal that she'd immediately come clean. She was sure that he'd eventually realize that he was in the wrong and come back to her. Even if he came back to her for another reason or just to pick up more clothing, they'd have a chance to talk and he'd have to realize that this was no reason for them to be apart. Shit, they'd never been apart, not in the whole twenty years that they'd been married. They knew couples who when arguing, one of them would leave temporarily and go stay with a relative or stay in a hotel for a few days until they missed each other enough to talk. But that wasn't the way she and Jim handled things. To them being apart was for them to roll to opposite sides of the bed when they slept. Even then, by morning they'd have moved during the night until they were touching again. Usually, they'd both apologize, no matter which of them was wrong and talked about it. She was sure that Jim would be back soon. When the phone rang she picked it up hoping it was Jim. It was her sister Connie. Connie sounded upset and slightly weird. "Connie is there something you want to ask me about?" said Charlotte. "Well, Charlotte, tell Jim that he can pay us the money back anytime. I know he's good for it, but I guess I just wanted to ask you if it was true?" "What money are you talking about, Connie?" asked Charlotte. "Rob and I went down to bail Jim out of Jail so he wouldn't have to stay there all night," said Connie. "Actually the police just wanted him to be released to someone who'd watch over him until he calmed down." "What was Jim in Jail for?" asked Charlotte in shock. "He isn't the type to break the law." "He didn't break the law," said Connie. "He broke Carl Bennett. Rob saw the whole thing. Rob was in a bar with his team after his bowling league. Carl was in the bar talking very loudly to a few of his friends when Jim came and started trying to get drunk. Rob had never seen Jim drink before. Carl was telling his friends about some woman and hadn't noticed Jim there." "Oh no," said Charlotte. "Carl started talking about what a slut the woman was. How she invited him over to her house while her husband was out of town. She made him dinner, then one thing led to another and finally she asked him to fuck her. Right there on her couch in her living room. He didn't even have to get her drunk or anything. He told his friends how she had the tightest pussy he had ever been in and how she had to get lube so he could get his dick into her," said Connie. "All of Carl's friends were laughing and egging him on until Jim stood up and Carl got as white as a sheet. Jim beat Carl so badly that they had to call an ambulance for him. Carl refused to press charges but the police took Jim anyway. Most of Carl's friends didn't stick up for him. I don't think they're his friends anymore. I think that they thought that Carl was just making up the story for fun until Jim showed up and they found out it was for real. Most of them know you and Jim and how much you loved each other. I think it made them think that Carl wasn't really their friend either. If he'd go after Jim's wife, there was no reason he wouldn't try to do it to them too. Men like Carl aren't really anybody's friend. So when the police asked for witnesses, they could not get a single guy to say what had happened." For a while there was silence over the phone line. Then Connie broke it. "Charlotte, why would Carl make something like that up about you?" she asked. When Charlotte didn't answer her Connie was shocked. "Charlotte, why would you do something like that to Jim? He loves you so much. I'm ashamed to call you my sister." "Connie, I...."began Charlotte but the loud droning sound of the dial tone let her know that Connie had hung up on her. An hour later and Charlotte's phone rang again. This time it was her mother. Her mother had called to tell her how shocked and ashamed of her she was as well. "There has to be more to this story than Connie is telling me Charlotte," she said. "I didn't raise my daughter to be a whore." "Mom, I'll come over tomorrow and try to explain the whole thing to you," said Charlotte. "Right now I need to keep the phone line open in case Jim tries to call me." "I doubt that," said her mother. "He told your father that he's looking for a lawyer to handle the divorce. He wants to find one who doesn't just want to rake somebody over the coals. Funny isn't it, even after what you did, he's trying to be fair to you." "Mom, Jim had an affair first," said Charlotte. "Bull...shit!" said her mother. "First off anyone who knows Jim knows how much he loves you. Rob brought him by here to change clothes after he got out of jail because he didn't want to go home to you and he needed to change clothes. When he opened up his fucking suitcase the first thing your dad saw was that big assed framed picture of you. If he was cheating, why would he be carrying a giant picture of you around with him?" "I...." said Charlotte before her mother cut her off again. "And secondly, if he was having an affair himself, he wouldn't be as hurt as he is right now. Why the hell did you do this Charlotte?" "I'll call you tomorrow mother," said Charlotte as she hung up. She'd have to call her PI firm in the morning. She was going to need their proof before this got out of hand. Jim was playing the martyr and trying to make everyone think that she was the one in the wrong. He'd even managed to turn her family against her. Charlotte tossed and turned the whole night. The more she thought about it, this had all been Carl's fault. He'd taken advantage of her and ruined everything. Even if Jim had been having an affair, the situation hadn't gotten out of control until he'd tricked her into having sex. Jim wasn't angry about her accusing him of having an affair. He was pissed about her sleeping with Carl. There was and always had been a double standard when it came to extra-marital affairs. If a man had one he was just sowing his wild oats or just boys being boys. If a woman did it, she was a whore, plain and simple. Charlotte hated to believe that Jim would subscribe to that kind of belief, but there it was right in front of her. He could do it for years with no recriminations, but for her to do it even once, was unthinkable. By the time Charlotte woke up that morning alone and lonely in their big bed, she was onboard with the double standard. Jim's affair had been going on for years and hadn't hurt their marriage. She got tricked and fucked once and everything was going to hell. Charlotte hadn't intended to screw Carl and she'd never screw anyone but Jim again for the rest of her life. All she wanted was her happy home back under any circumstances. If Jim wanted to go out and discreetly do it once a year, she'd grin and bear it. The other 51 weekends of the year he was all hers body and soul. It was enough for her, whether it was fair or not. Charlotte was still in bed thinking about it when the doorbell rang. There was a youngish looking girl, probably a college student waiting there for her. She looked bored, thought Charlotte. She was probably selling candy or magazine subscriptions to make money for college. Charlotte needed to get rid of her so she'd be ready to handle her problems. "Charlotte Ramsey?" asked the girl. "Yes," said Charlotte. The girl handed her a large manila envelope that Charlotte reached out and took out of reflex. "You've been served," said the girl. She turned and walked away snapping her gum as she left. Charlotte opened the envelope and saw how serious this was. Jim was not joking or beating around the bush. He'd filed for divorce. He'd even charged her with infidelity. There was a card with his attorney's name and number on it in the envelope as well. It was after 9 am. Charlotte hadn't realized that she'd slept for that long. She called the number and told the attorney when she finally got him on the phone that there was some kind of mistake. She didn't want a divorce and she was sure that Jim didn't either. They just need to get together to talk out their problems and they could solve all of this without involving lawyers or the court. The attorney was very polite. He told her that Jim had hired him to start divorce procedures and he would gladly stop everything as soon as Jim told him to. It was up to Charlotte to get Jim to do that. Charlotte told the man to please ask Jim to call her because she'd called him twenty times yesterday and he not only wouldn't take her calls he didn't return them. She told him to tell Jim that he'd won, she loved him and he could have anything and everything he wanted if only he'd come home to her. The man said that he'd deliver the message, but in the mean time she should get an attorney of her own. Charlotte was devastated, so she turned to the only person she could. She called her mother, crying like a baby. Her mother agreed to get Jim to come over to the house for a barbecue and they could all sit down together and talk this out with the parents there as impartial mediators. Her mom would try to arrange it for tomorrow afternoon. The next morning Charlotte woke up, and again, she felt awful. She just felt so empty. She didn't want to eat or do anything. A big part of it, she realized as she looked across the big empty bed, was that fact that Jim wasn't here. This wasn't like anything she'd ever been through before. Not only was he not here, but there was the very real possibility that he wouldn't be for a very long time. Just thinking about it made her want to cry. Though she didn't want to, she took a shower anyway. She put on makeup and fretted over what she'd wear. The barbecue this afternoon was probably the most important event of her life. It would probably be my one chance to save her marriage. She thought about wearing Jim's favorite dress. The one that just made him take her to bed every time she wore it. Unfortunately it was evening wear and would be very out of place at a barbecue. She put on a pair of shorts that showed off her legs without being too obvious. If she was lucky and got a chance to bend over in front of Jim, they'd also display her ass really well. To complete the outfit, She put on a very light-weight sweater. It would mold her breasts nicely, and still appear as if she hadn't taken very much time to create the outfit. She'd considered wearing one of Jim's shirts and tying it up under her boobs like Daisy Duke or Elli Mae Clampett, but her tummy just wasn't flat enough for that anymore. It wouldn't matter, Jim loved her, and he'd find her sexy enough anyway. Charlotte went over to her parent's house. She was at least a couple of hours early, but her sister and Rob were already there. It was like they wanted to get to the movies before everyone else so they could get good seats. Charlotte was enthralled that the embers of her marriage might provide good entertainment for them. Charlotte wondered what had happened to her relationship with her sister. When they were younger, they'd been exceptionally close. They'd always confided in each other during times of both trouble and joy. But now it just seemed like Connie didn't want to be anywhere near her let alone be on her side. As Charlotte walked around the house and the yard, she felt her sister's eyes boring into her back. Connie spent a lot of time whispering to her husband, Rob. Charlotte knew that at some point her mom would come out of the kitchen where she was making her preparations. She wasn't too sure about facing her mom and dad, but Connie should have been on her side. Charlotte walked across the yard and said hello to Rob and Connie. "Sis, can I speak to you for a moment?" she asked. "Uhm, okay," Connie said nervously. My God, it was as if she just didn't want to have anything to do with me, thought Charlotte. "We're sisters," Charlotte told Connie as soon as she got her away from Rob. "I thought that if anyone would, you'd have my back." "That's part of the problem with being sisters," Connie spat. "Everyone tends to think that we're cut from the same cloth. So if you've taken leave of your senses and cheated on your husband, everyone thinks that at some point I'll flip out and become a whore too. The past twenty-four hours have been a nightmare for me. Even Rob is looking at me differently. And you know what the shittiest part of this is, Charlotte. It's looking at your husband. I love Rob, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want to be with any other man under any circumstance you could name. But Jim has always been the model that I pushed Rob to be more like. Jim has a great job, he's a great guy, and he loves you like nothing I've ever seen. He fucking worships the ground you walk on, even after what happened all those years ago." Charlotte thought back to what Connie was talking about and shuddered just bringing it to mind. She hadn't thought about it in many years. Back when they first married, Charlotte and Jim had talked about having kids. They both wanted a house full of kids and very soon after they got married, Charlotte was pregnant. Jim was great. He was so excited that he couldn't sit down. He was always up doing something for the baby, or talking about what we'd do when the baby was born. He took her temperature. He made sure she ate the right foods and didn't stress out. He gave her massages, bought her all kinds of things, both for the baby and for herself. Charlotte had never seen a man who was so ready to have a child. She really believed that if it had been possible, Jim would have carried the baby for her. He would have been an awesome dad. But almost eight and a half months into the pregnancy, she had to go to the hospital, and delivered their daughter, stillborn. Even worse was the news that she would never be able to have another child. Charlotte was crushed and so was Jim. For a while she entertained thoughts that he'd leave her or want a divorce. Even before they got married, they'd known that they wanted to have a lot of kids. Jim helped her to recover and never brought it up. When she did he looked at her as if she had taken a shit in the Vatican Museum. "I've just lost my daughter," he said angrily. "Now you want to leave me too? Charlotte, I love you more than anything on this earth. With or without children, you're the woman I married. I married you because I love you, not because I need you to be some kind of baby factory." Charlotte had never felt more loved in her entire life. Over the next few months Jim did everything he could to help her get over her grief and sadness at the loss of their child. He put up with a lot. Some women become suicidal after the loss of a child, so he watched her like a hawk. They took vacations, long and short. They engaged in new hobbies and activities. They did some of the silliest things you can imagine, just so he could show her that just the two of them were enough, that just because they couldn't have children didn't make their lives any less fulfilling. Do you know what it's like to make love in the rain? I do, thought Charlotte. It sucks. Jim and I did that just to try it out after reading about it in one of my romance novels. You know what else really sucks? Doing it on the beach is awful. I don't even want to try to explain how awful it feels to get sand in your.... Anyway, she hadn't thought about that until Connie brought it up. Charlotte tried to focus on what Connie was saying. "Jim is such a great guy Charlotte and you just destroyed him. He's just not himself at all. All of his confidence is gone. I haven't seen him smile one time since all of this started. It's a terrible thing to look at someone you considered to be a pillar of strength and know that they're on the verge of tears. The worst thing about it is what you're taking from me," she said. "What the fuck are you talking about Connie?" Charlotte asked. Charlotte was beginning to get pissed now herself. Connie had this way, like a lot of baby sisters do, of making everything about her. Charlotte had been tricked into cheating on her husband. She might be forced into a divorce. He doesn't think that his long term affair counts, but somehow this all revolves around Connie. "Well Sis, Jim is talking about moving away after the divorce," said Connie. "I mean not just to a different house, but out of state. He told Rob that all of his friends know about what happened so he can't bear to show his face around here. He thinks that everyone is laughing at him." "Rob tried to tell him that wasn't true. Especially after the way he beat the fuck out of Carl, and because of the way that he left you. Both of those actions show him to be a strong man who won't take any shit. But Charlotte, he told Rob that what he did doesn't matter. What matters is how he feels, and he loves you so much that he just wants all of this to go away. He told Rob that his heart hurts him so much he just wants to die. You took a good man and just ruined him, Charlotte." "I still don't see how any of this affects you or is any of your fucking business Connie," snapped Charlotte. She'd had enough of Connie's shit. There was no way Charlotte was going to sit there and just let Connie try to make her feel any worse than she already did. "What the fuck does any of this mean to you, Connie?" Charlotte yelled. "How does this affect you in any way? At the end of the day, you and Rob will go home and cuddle up with each other on your sofa and think about how lucky you are to have each other. I'll probably go home alone again. Do you know what it feels like after being married for almost twenty years to suddenly know that the person you love more than anything else doesn't want to be with you anymore because of something you did? And everyone seems to forget that the perfect man, Saint Jim, has been fucking some little bitch in a motel room for the past couple of nights and he does it every God Damned year. I slip once, just one fucking time, and even then I was tricked into it and everyone treats me like I'm the whore of Babylon." "Charlotte" snapped Connie. "Even if you hadn't fucked around on Jim, we'd have been here for a barbecue this weekend. This weekend Rob and I had planned on asking you and Jim to be the God-parents for our baby, because I'm pregnant. Neither, Rob or I could think of anyone more loving and more suited to raise our child if anything happened to us than you and Jim. But now my sister is, as you put it yourself, the whore of Babylon and the man we chose as Godfather wants to move out of state. So yeah, this does in some small way affect me. Even if that weren't true, you're still as I said, my sister so people do tend to connect us and expect similar behavior from us. This isn't just about you. It affects the whole family and if you weren't such a bitch, you'd see it." Connie was going to town. She took a breath and was about to launch into Charlotte again when the doorbell rang and saved them both. Naturally it was Jim. And even more naturally he looked awful. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. Rob, Connie and the sister's parents were all over him. Never Got Over Her I've obviously fucked up again in my decision to come in here fully made up and looking like a million bucks, thought Charlotte. Now I felt like a whore who was going after a million fucks. In my defense, I'd only dressed up for Rob. I wanted to make myself look good hoping that he'd want me back. But seeing Rob brought home the raw emotion he was feeling right now. Whereas I was still seeing this as just a little spat, or maybe a big one. The reality was that there was a very real possibility that I could lose my husband over this. My dad offered Jim a beer. He actually called him son. He had only grunted in my direction when he let me in. "I probably shouldn't mix alcohol with the pills I took to try to get to sleep," said Jim. "Did you get any sleep?" asked Charlotte's mother. She sounded really concerned. "No," said Jim in a really quiet voice. "It's just so hard for me to even try. I'm not used to being alone in a bed. I keep reaching out and...." Charlotte got scared then. All four of the others swiveled their heads towards her at the exact same time. It was like one of those horror movies where all of the aliens have the same brain. Apparently Charlotte's choice of dress and the way she was acting just didn't show how hurt she was. Shit I'm hurting too, thought Charlotte. I was after all the one who'd asked for this chance to get together and talk. Apparently they'd also forgotten that Jim left her. He was also the one who had refused to listen to Charlotte or answer her phone calls. He was the one who'd filed for divorce. He could end this any time he wanted to. He could crook his little finger and she'd be on my knees sucking his dick in front of her parents and her snotty assed sister in a heartbeat. She'd do anything to get back with him. The thing that really irked her though was the double standard. I'm a victim here too, people, she thought. I cheated, I admit it. Whether I was manipulated or not, I did have sex with someone other than Jim, once in over twenty years, I did it. But God Damn it, he did it first, for a longer period of time, and without being tricked. And even now he had never come clean about it. This was just bullshit. Rob, with Jim's help started the grill. The three men took turns manning the grill while my mom and sister brought out food for them to cook. Charlotte's mom tried to be nice to her. She seemed to be the only one there who had an open mind. Connie glared at her all afternoon. Her dad ignored her. Rob seemed to be frightened of her and Jim wouldn't even look at her. Even the few times that She tried to approach him he quickly retreated and someone would step between them, as if they were protecting him from her. Finally, Charlotte couldn't take it anymore and just went right over to him. "Jim, you have to talk to me at some point, Honey," she said. "And you may as well know this now. I didn't get a lawyer and I didn't sign these," she told him as she took the divorce papers that she had ripped to shreds out of her purse and dropped them on the table in front of him. "No Divorce." she said. "Why don't you just leave him alone?" asked Connie. "Haven't you done enough?" "Connie, I got tricked into fucking one guy. I did not enjoy it. I spent the whole time while he was in me, crying. I thought I was doing it to save my marriage," Charlotte said. "Why the hell would you think that?" asked my Dad. "How is fucking some other guy and a real sleazebag supposed to save your marriage?" asked Rob. "Whether you guys know this or not, Mr. Perfect over here started this," said Charlotte. "For over ten years he's been having an affair of his own. I've tried to look the other way, but I love him so much that I just couldn't take it anymore. I kept wondering what she looked like. Was it one woman or many? I got a PI to follow him. And finally I ran into Carl in the market by chance. Carl cheated on his wife and got divorced so I thought that he could give me some insight on how to handle this so that Jim and I didn't end up divorced." Charlotte took a breath and looked at them. They were all in shock. "Carl really wasn't any help. He kept telling me that Jim was cheating on me with some wild young woman and I needed to be able to compete with her if I wanted to keep him. Any way he tricked me into having sex with him to prove that I could compete with the other woman but I couldn't do it. I couldn't even get wet for him, so I had to use lube, and even then I just laid there like a rock while he fucked me. That's why he was telling his friends that I was so tight, because I didn't get wet even after he started doing it. I just felt awful, like I had betrayed Jim. And I love him too much to lie to him, so as soon as he came home I told him, though this is the first time that I've been able to tell him why. It was a mistake. I was tricked. I was so emotional and scared of losing the only man that I've ever loved that I was an easy target. And even though Jim has been having his own affair, he won't forgive me and he wants a fucking divorce." Everyone looked at Jim then as Charlotte started to cry. Her mother went over to her and started rubbing Charlotte's back to try and calm her down. "Charlotte, I'd have forgiven you for fucking Carl. I know that he's a slippery bastard," said Jim. "If I hadn't forgiven you for that or if I thought that you WERE, what he was saying, I wouldn't have fought with him over you." "Then why the divorce?" screamed Charlotte. "Is it just so you can have your hot young pussy? So you can get rid of me after I gave you the best years of my life? Now that I'm old and not so pretty anymore, you just throw me on the scrap heap and go off and fuck some young bitch. Is she worth it Jim? Let's show everyone what she looks like. She's really pretty isn't she?" Charlotte went back into her purse and got the picture that the detectives had given her. She threw it down on the table in front of her family. Her Parents, her sister and her brother all looked at the picture in shock. Then Charlotte snatched the picture and ripped it to shreds and threw the pieces down on the floor. "Fuck her," she said. "She can't have you. I'll follow you everywhere you go and when she shows up, I'll kick her little ass." Charlotte's parents were shocked. She knew that they never believed there was an affair. Rob and Connie shook their heads. "You sick bitch," said Connie. Then I noticed that Jim was down on his knees, crying and trying to put the picture back together. Finally, he just stood up and came over to me. "That's why we're getting a divorce," he said. "Because I hate the slut you're fucking so badly that I want to kill her?" Charlotte asked angrily. "I'm not having an affair,"Jim said calmly. He spoke to Charlotte as if he was speaking to a very small and very stupid child. "Today is September third Charlotte. Two days ago, the day I went out of town was the first. Does that ring any bells?" In the back of Charlotte's mind there was a tension. Something was about to happen, she just knew it. "Twenty years ago, September first was the worst day of my life," he began. "It really should have been the best day of my life, but who knows what fate has in store for us. We rushed to the hospital thinking that our baby was going to be born early. It was before I had my purple Mustang, I can't even remember what kind of car I had then. It doesn't matter anyway. She came out and she didn't move at all. I remember thinking the doctor was supposed to slap her on her butt or something. But it didn't happen. He just looked at me sadly and shook his head." Everyone was silent listening to Jim talk. "I didn't understand at first," said Jim. So I told the doctor to go ahead and slap her on the butt. I thought he was waiting for permission. Then he said the 7 words that I'll remember forever. "I'm sorry; there was nothing we could do." "I remember thinking, "but I'm supposed to be a father." They had sedated you Charlotte, so I couldn't even talk to you about it. There was even a question about whether or not you'd live so I had to put my grief aside and concentrate on getting you well. Then when you were stable, I had to plunge right into helping you get over things. First, there was the fact that our baby hadn't lived. Then, there was the fact that we couldn't have anymore. Then, you thought that I wanted to leave you or something silly like that, Charlotte. Then, I had to watch you to make sure that you didn't sink into an uncontrollable depression. I remember your dad telling me to take care of our girl and keep you safe. It took a long time before I could even go back to work. But eventually I had to, just so we could pay the bills and eat. I guess that all through that time there had never been time for me to...." Jim paused and wiped a tear away from his cheek. My dad was patting his shoulder. "I guess I was so busy being the strong one that I never really had a chance to get over her death myself. I had so many plans for that little girl. You were still on the anti-depressants when we had the funeral. We named her Shannon. That had been what we were going to call her anyway. For the first few years we never talked about it, and like I said, I watched you. I never brought up kids again, not even adoption because I was afraid of the memories and what they might do to you. But Charlotte, that little girl was a part of me and you. I just couldn't simply put her out of my mind. Ten years ago I could tell it didn't affect you as much anymore. It was a great tragedy, but I could tell you'd come through it, sane and healthy. You'd gotten over it. But then September came and I was so fucking sad, but there was no one I could talk to about it. You were fine and I didn't want to mess you up. I loved you too much to hurt you. But I hadn't gotten over her." He looked me straight in the eye when he said this. I could tell it was painful for him and he wasn't lying. "That first year I just pretended to have the business trip, and I thought that I'd do it just once and get it out of my system, without hurting you. After all everyone we know had to travel for business occasionally." "I went and visited the place we buried her, and then checked into the hotel near there. I said a prayer for her and thought about her for the whole night. I thought about what she'd look like and how she'd act. I tried to talk to her spirit, if there is such a thing. I even went out, bought a small birthday cake, put 10 candles on it, and ate a piece of it. It made me feel better and I was able get over the terrible grief I felt. At least for a little while" "The next year it was worse. I started to get really irritable about 3 days before her birthday, and you were asking me what was wrong, but I couldn't tell you. I realized that I had to do it again. It became a yearly thing. In the past few years with the explosion in technology I was able to get a firm that specializes in computer graphics to give me pictures of what she'd look like. I had to go back to the hospital. I was lucky they had the pictures they'd taken of her after the birth, though I really hadn't expected them to have kept them for that long. Without those, the pictures wouldn't be nearly as accurate. They would have had to base the simulation purely on a composite of the pictures of you and I that I sent them and our DNA samples. The pictures get better each year as the technology improves. This year it was so good it looks like a photograph. I'm sure that someday they'll be able to do a 3-D holographic sculpture of her and even have it talk." "No." Charlotte screamed, realizing what she'd done. Jim just looked at her and started talking again. "So Charlotte, what you tore up was a picture of....or at least a computer simulated picture of what your daughter would have looked like at twenty, if she had lived. And yeah, I spent that night in the hotel crying, praying, and trying to imagine what she'd be like, just like I have every year on her birthday for the past 10 years. You're the only living, breathing woman I love or have had sex with. There was never an affair, I don't love any woman except you, but when it comes to Shannon, I just never got over her." "I'm not divorcing you because you made a mistake, Charlotte. I'm divorcing you because you have no faith in me. You don't believe in me or the things I tell you, which means that as much as you like our life together, you don't really love me. If you did you'd know that I'd never have an affair. If you really cared about me, trusted in our relationship, and you thought something was going on, you'd have asked about it, instead of sneaking around hiring detectives to invade my privacy. I just don't understand how you could think that I'd have sex with anyone else. I mean for me, just the thought of you being with Carl broke my heart. But it wasn't the sex with Carl that caused our divorce. It was all of the things that led up to you having sex with him that doomed us. And this isn't TV. You tearing up the papers was a grand gesture and very dramatic, but it won't stop the divorce." "Charlotte, we probably won't talk again before going to court. I'm not angry at you. I'm just sad. And looking at you and remembering what you've meant to me, just hurts me. I see my beautiful wife and the life we've had and how it all just seems like such a lie now. Then I see you with that asshole Carl, while I was trying to deal with my grief. I don't think I'll be able to look at you again without hurting. Have a wonderful life Charlotte. Carl is at least proof of one thing. You're still a very attractive woman. You won't have any trouble replacing me. I wish you all the best. I'm probably not going to be around much for a while. I spoke to my boss and he reluctantly agreed to give me a transfer to an office in another state. I won't say where but your alimony checks will never be late and I'm giving you the house free and clear. I'm going to send for my things as soon as I get settled." Charlotte was speechless and so was everyone else. As he got to the door and shakily opened it, Jim turned to her one last time. "I'll always love you Charlotte." he said. "I'll never get over you either." Then he was gone. Charlotte got to the door just in time to see that purple Mustang backing out of the driveway for the last time. The divorce was final three months ago. Over the past 9 months, I've learned a lot about myself, thought Charlotte. I've learned that like my sister, I'm a pretty selfish and self centered bitch. I never saw my husband for how special he truly was. I always considered things only as they affected me. The problem was that so did he. He only considered me. He spent so much time shielding me and helping to get over my grief, but there was no one to help him with his. Then when he found a way, I assumed he was having an affair when he was only once again trying to shield me from the memories of something we couldn't get over. He gave up having kids as much as he wanted them, to stay with me. I've seen therapists and joined peer groups to talk it all out. I've heard all of the modern theories and even some old fashioned ones from priests, but one thing is clear to me too. I'll never get over Jim either. I love him as much as he loves me and our daughter. And I'm going to get him back. I don't know what state he lives in. He's been very careful about shielding his whereabouts. I'm sure he's still in contact with my family. Though my own relations with them are strained. My sister and I haven't spoken since the day of the barbecue. His alimony checks are never late. In fact I don't get a check. He just deposits the money into the household account. Sometimes he gives me more than he's supposed to. He sent me a beautiful card and roses for my birthday. I'm sure it was him though he didn't sign the card. I can tell that someone is telling him about what's going on in my life, what life I have. I suspect it's my parents. They don't tell me anything about him, but I did get them to visit her grave with me. And that was all I needed to get my husband back. Because three months from now, on September 1, 2012, I'll be there waiting for him. Maybe, not the end, but it'll do for now.