45 comments/ 89988 views/ 17 favorites Love U Ch. 01 By: BlBones I don't want to give our ages away but let me simply state that our courting days were several years BE (before e-mail). In that old fashioned era, my wife, Faith, and I used a vehicle called the U.S. Mail for most of our correspondence. We were high school sweet hearts but we went to different universities. We couldn't afford a lot of phone calls so letters had to do the job of keeping our romance alive. During this period, the post office issued its first "Love" stamp. We seized on it and began to use it on all of our mail to each other. One day I had a bright idea and, using a green felt tip marker I inscribed a "U" so that it framed the stamp. Get it? Love U! Being pleased with myself I mailed my letter to her and got it back the next day with a rather terse note informing me that use of previously canceled stamps was illegal. There was more than that in the note and I didn't understand. I took it to the post office and was informed that any marking on the stamp was equal to a cancellation. My "U" had just crossed the bottom corner of the stamp and therefore I was using a canceled stamp and that the use of a canceled stamp could be considered fraud. The postal clerk was kind and understanding, but he explained that I was unintentionally in violation of postal codes. Undaunted, I created a new envelope, affixed a new stamp and carefully inscribed the "U," avoiding the stamp, and sent it on its way. When Faith received it she immediately recognized what it was. Ever since then, all of our letter correspondence has garnered a love stamp bordered by the letter "U." It doesn't stand out as much now because we often have to affix additional stamps to meet the newer postal rates. Our college age children saw one of our old letters and after finding out what it meant, they later adopted it with their spouses. Between our three families, I believe we have one of the largest hoards of Love stamp in the country. Believe it or not, we still use the regular mail for much of our personal family communication. Faith and I still get a kick out of our personal letters when either of us is away for more than a night or two. E-mail just seems so impersonal and mechanical. It also gives us a way of sharing our thoughts when we are away and unable to be with each other. Let me get on, the story is not about our little love symbol; although it ends there. I wish it didn't. We were married twenty-nine years ago and had two children, twins, a girl and a boy. They have both followed their father's profession and became attorneys. Faith was a stay at home Mom until the children were in high school and then she joined the work force. not being able to stay at home alone. Faith has always loved furniture and on many weekends after the children were older, and we had nothing scheduled, she would drag me out to the furniture stores. I didn't have a problem, she didn't want to buy everything; she just loved looking at and studying furniture. By the time she went to work, she was very knowledgeable about furniture of all types. With her knowledge she was able to land a job that moved her quickly into the buyer's office of a state-wide furniture store chain. Unfortunately, between our jobs, now one of us is often away from home. Faith makes at least four trips a year to North Carolina plus several other trips to other locations during the year. My work requires frequent overnight trips. Most of mine are one or two nights at most. Any way, between us, we often have periods of functioning like ships passing in the night. Originally her trips to North Carolina were Sunday or Monday thru Friday night or Saturday morning (depending on flight schedules). Five months ago she called me on Friday night and told me she wouldn't be home until Wednesday. Of course, I was less than pleased but I didn't object and I don't recall now why the extra two days were needed. On her last trip, a little over a month ago, she called on Friday again for the same reason. This pissed me off. Why all of a sudden are we having these last minute extensions? I let her know this was pushing things too far. I informed her that she had better find a way to stop these unscheduled extended trips. You can't imagine my surprise when she readily agreed and said she would talk to her boss about it. I was doubly surprised when two days after she returned home she happily reported that she had been given a promotion and her new position would not require as much travel. She added that she would only be taking a few short trips and she would only be doing the North Carolina trip for, at most, the two or three days of the show. She ended by telling me there was one little caveat; that with her new responsibilities she would likely be entertaining clients on a regular basis once or twice a week, like she had been doing on occasions for the past few months. She would normally be home between nine and ten. It's funny how things work. With her news I had to tell her I would be traveling more during the coming year. However, the trips would still mostly be one night with a few two night trips thrown in. I read Literotica and am fully aware of the warning signs of infidelity. Her extended trips had made me suspicious, but when she dropped the trips so readily and made a real change to her out of town trips, my suspicions quickly disappeared. Entertaining clients and being home at a reasonable hour didn't sound any alarms and I was satisfied. Our lives returned to something like they had been before she went back to work and started making her trips. In fact there was a noticeable change to our sex life, and it was to the good. Nothing wild, but better than what it had been for several years. We have both crossed the fifty year mark, and though we are both in good shape, our sex life was definitely waning from what it used to be. And I was alright with the new change too. I have been aware for the past year or so that my sex drive seems to be dropping some while hers seems to be rising. I don't know if it is the fact that the difference I perceive is due to me dropping a little and she is rising a little or whether I am dropping more rapidly and she is not changing. Whatever the case, it has been a little bothersome, but of no real concern and with her change of schedule I all but forgot about it. However, now I was paying attention to the way she was dressing when she went to work. The change started soon after her last North Carolina trip. Until then, her dress had been to the conservative side. Now she was putting more effort into looking very attractive in her work dress. There was nothing extreme or even particularly sexy about her dress; she was just taking the efforts to look more attractive; business suits that showed her figure off nicely, heels, make-up including eye shadow and painted on lipstick. When I complemented her on her new appearance and asked what it was about, she simply informed me that she was meeting important customers and suppliers now and she wanted to present a more polished appearance. A few weeks after her promotion, she asked me if I minded her inviting an associate home for dinner. It was an unmarried male who had joined them recently and was living in a motel while the house he was purchasing was being completed. She thought it would be neighborly to invite him for a home-cooked meal. I had no problem with her request and told her to go ahead. On the night designated, he arrived bearing a nice vase with cut flowers as a thank you. He was about ten to fifteen years our junior and a very fit and handsome specimen. Faith introduced him as Dana Johns. Aside from being handsome, he also had a very outgoing personality. I will tell you now that I was feeling considerably more than uncomfortable with him by the time he left. He monopolized most of the conversation and gave me little attention. Every time I would ask a question wanting to know more about him, he would answer with something that led to another topic of discussion. It wasn't long before he was talking almost exclusively to Faith. On a couple of occasions I tried to enter into the conversation they were having. Both times I was met with an almost hostile response from him that didn't directly say it, but made it obvious that I was not welcome in the conversation. She was so engrossed with him and what they were talking about that she didn't even notice. By nine o'clock I'd had enough of Dana and made an announcement making it clear that the evening was over. Faith intervened saying, "Oh Henry, the night is young. There is no need for Dana to have to go back to his lonely hotel room so early." I gave her a look that she knew meant the subject was not open for discussion and said, "Honey, tomorrow is a work day and I have a hard one on the docket." I escorted Dana to the door where he turned and thanked me and said that he was happy to have met me as I handed him his coat. He held out his hand for a shake and I simply put my hand on his shoulder, said, "Goodnight Dana," and gently guided him out the door. As soon as he was out the door Faith jumped me and said, crossly, "Henry, what's wrong with you? I have never seen you act so rudely." I took her in my arms and said, "Honey, I'm sorry. He may need a home cooked meal, but he is not welcome here again. I don't like him and if you want to talk about rudeness, let's talk about him. I consider it absolutely rude to come into a person's home and all but ignore one spouse and then effectively tell him to butt out when he tries to enter the conversation." She asked what I was talking about and I related what had happened during the evening. She thought about it a moment and then said, "I'm sorry dear. I should have made sure you were included. But that doesn't excuse your actions as a host." Then I told her about his aversion to answering any thing about himself. I concluded by saying, "Honey, I don't generally take a quick dislike to people. But I'm making an exception for him. He is hiding something. I think he is manipulative, and I don't want him in this house again. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. In addition, it would make me very happy if you gave him a very wide berth." She tried to convince me that my impression was wrong and that maybe we could get together again and I would see him differently. I told her to drop the subject. Her continued attempt to to justify his rudeness popped the red flag up in my mind. The week after having met Dana, I was called out of town for two nights. As was my practice, I called home after supper the first night. I had a short chat with Faith and all was well. However, on the second night I called and after a few rings I was transferred to her voice mail box. I left a short message and hung up. As I hung up, it hit me. I had connected to her cell phone. I must have hit the wrong speed dial button. I called again, being careful to call the home phone. It rang once and I was transferred to the voice mail box again. I didn't understand what was happening for a moment. I sat there looking at my phone when it dawned on me. She had put our phone on call forwarding and her cell phone was turned off. Strange? You bet your ass it was strange. Alarms and flags were everywhere. About thirty minutes later my cell phone rang. It was Faith and she wanted to know if had called her earlier. I told her I had and she then explained that she had been in the yard watering. She knew the phone would stop before she could get to it and had finished watering before she called me. I asked if everything was OK and if she listened to my message. She told me she was just fine and that yes she had gotten my message and that she loved me too. I decided not to let on that I was having suspicions and I told her I had been missing her and would see her tomorrow night. It was now obvious that she called me when she realized her cell phone had been off and she was trying to cover up. We talked a few minutes and then hung up. I decided to check things out a little further. I waited a few minutes and, using the hotel room phone, I called the house again. Faith picked up on the second ring and I hung up. I knew she would not recognize the caller id number displayed on her cell phone. I waited another fifteen minutes and speed dialed her cell phone. I was about to hang up thinking maybe she wasn't hearing it, when she answered. She didn't sound normal and I asked if she was alright. She told me she had been in the basement doing laundry when she heard the phone. I made a mental note that I needed to get more phones throughout the house—just kidding. She wanted to know if I had called a little earlier. I said that I hadn't that it was she who had called me after I had left the message. Next, I told her that the client had just called and that I was going to be away another night and wouldn't be home tomorrow. She told me she was very disappointed but please get home soon. She loved me and she missed me. The uneasy feelings that I had been harboring since the long stay trips and then escalated with the encounter with Dana now jumped straight in my face. I had believed that I had no reason not to trust my wife. Things like I was beginning to suspect now only happened to others or were in fictitious "loving wives" stories. I returned home, on my original schedule about two in the afternoon. I got a hotel room and then called her work. I didn't call her, I asked for Carla, one of our good friends hoping that she was a good enough friend that she would help me. Carla works in the financial department and I knew she handled expense accounts. When I got Carla I asked her to please not tell Faith about this call. I was working on a surprise for her and needed her help with some information. She asked me what kind of surprise and I found that I couldn't lie to her. If I expected her to help me as a friend, then I needed to be honest with her, so I told her about my suspicions. Her reply was like a kick in the stomach. "Henry, I'm sorry to hear what you have just told me. I have had some concerns the past few months about her relationship with this new buyer, Dana Johns." She started to explain who Dana was and I stopped her, letting her know that I knew who Dana Johns was and that I had met him and that I had taken an immediate dislike to him. She understood and then went on to tell me that they seem to be awfully close. I suddenly felt sick and wanted to start hurting people. But I held myself control and asked Carla to tell me about her suspicions. What she told me made me even sicker. Faith had met Dana about a year ago in North Carolina (at the time of the first extended trip). He was a manufacturer's rep. and Faith had told Carla all about him when she came back. Carla didn't know to what degree they had been together but she knew that Faith was more than pleased when it was announced that Dana was coming to work with them. The announcement had been made the week after her return from the last North Carolina trip. Since he arrived, the two have been very close. They often go to lunch together, or take breaks together, and they sometimes go out for a drink after work. In fact, yesterday, she (Carla) had to work late and she knew they worked a little late too and then went out to dinner. That was about seven o'clock. A thought struck me and I stopped her. Since her promotion, Faith has been out entertaining clients at least one or more times a week; never late at night, but quite frequent. I asked Carla if she knew anything about that and she responded that if Faith was doing that, she was paying for it out of her own pocket, that she had only processed, and I could hear her shuffling papers, four expense claims other than the North Carolina trip from Faith in the past six months. Then she hammered a big spike in. She said, "You know? I asked Faith after her last two trips to North Carolina if she didn't have expenses to report for Saturday through Tuesday. She told me the manufacturers covered the cost. Henry, I'm so sorry. This doesn't sound very good, does it?" "No Carla, it sure as hell doesn't. But thanks, you've been a big help," Now the picture was becoming quite clear. The client dinners were a farce, the extended stays were a farce, and so were the recent five or six overnight trips. Before we ended our talk I asked if she could give me Dana's address and phone number. She said she shouldn't but as a friend and knowing what she now knew, she would. She gave me what I asked for and also added Dana's cell phone number. I rented a car and drove home and parked a couple of houses away. I went in, collected my digital camera and enough clothing to last a few days, and then left before her time to come home. I slumped down in the seat of the car and waited. At her regular time she came home. I had decided to wait and see if she would leave, and sure enough, she did. She was in the house about half an hour and when she came out she was dressed for an evening out. I followed her to Dana's address where she went in. I waited a bit. They probably hadn't had supper and either they would go out, or maybe he had fixed a dinner. In either case, it was too early to suspect there would be any action for a while. After a short time (about seven-thirty) the two of them came out and I followed them to an upscale restaurant. The restaurant was not one where they would likely run in to co-workers or any of our friends. I determined that I could get in without them seeing me and I was able to sit where I could watch with little chance they would see me but I couldn't hear them. I ordered a salad and drink and couldn't eat much for watching them. They were like two young lovers; touching and kissing ad-nausea. I finally had to leave before I got physically sick. In the car, I could just see them. I decided it was time to start throwing sand into gears of this love machine. I speed dialed the house. In a moment I saw her shift around, obviously getting her purse and then she pulled out her cell phone and answered. Obviously having looked at the caller id, she answered, "Hi honey, I'm glad you called." The conversation that followed caught me by surprise in that she was able to so blatantly lie to me. We talked for a moment and then I said, "Where are you? You don't sound like you are at home." She giggled and said, "I'm not. Several of us from work decided to go out to dinner. We're at Johnstone's. I put the phone on call forwarding so I would get your call if you called before I got home." Obviously she had prepared this response beforehand, but obviously there were not several from work, and this restaurant was not Johnstone's. We chatted a few minutes and then I told her that I would call a little later. I was sorry, but it was looking like I might have to stay still another day, but no more. She tried to sound sorry, but she wasn't because I could see her happily mouthing something to Dana. After supper I followed them back to Dana's. I gave them an hour and then I went to the house and into the back yard. It was about ten and dark. There was no moon and I don't think anyone could see me. My plan was to see if I could observe them through a window. If not I felt I could pick the lock to the back door and I would sneak in. I was in luck. The kitchen window afforded a good view into the living room where I could see them. They were cuddled together, but nothing much was happening. It was getting close to ten-thirty and it occurred to me that they were waiting for my call before anything got started. I waited another forty-five minutes and by now they were beginning to play around. It took another ten minutes before she got up and I could barely hear her say, "Damn it, I'm not going to waste time waiting for him any longer." Love U Ch. 01 She got her cell phone and placed the call. I had thought ahead enough to put my phone on vibrate. After letting it ring for several times I answered. Her voice told me she was agitated as she asked where I was and why I hadn't called. I apologized and told her I was just getting back to the hotel. I had had a busy evening and I was sorry but that I was, in fact, going to be one more day and I would make it up to her with a surprise. To add to the agitation, I told her there was a business card on the bureau and I described it. I asked her to please get it and give me the phone number printed on it. I watched her face drain as she covered the mike and said something to Dana. She said, "Just a minute, I'll go look." She smiled at the asshole, sat down and gave him a long hot kiss. Beside setting my camera phone to vibrate, I had also turned the flash off. I took a couple pictures of her "looking' for the card. After a couple of minutes, she put the phone back to her face and with mock concern in her voice, "Honey, I have looked all over and I can't find the card. Are you sure it's here?" I thanked her and told her not to worry. I'd get the number elsewhere. We spoke for a moment and then ended the call. I watched as Dana drew her to her feet and headed out of the living room. I saw a shaft of light appear on the lawn further down the back and, obviously, the light was from the bedroom they were entering. The curtain was open enough for me to see most of the room. The rage in me was boiling and I was exercising every bit of control I had as I watched them undress. He was nude and she was wearing only her stockings, garter belt and heels. Normally I would have said she looked beautiful, but now she looked like a two-bit whore to me. I could barely hear them but I could make out a couple of remarks about still having two nights together as they moved into a sixty-nine position. I checked again to make sure my flash was off and took pictures through the window. I was pleased that the pictures had a reasonable amount of light and were relatively sharp. I was fighting large doses of nausea and rage as I continued to take pictures of them. At one moment he was fucking her, and in the next, she was fucking him. When I had what I needed, really all I could stand, I waited patiently. I was waiting until it appeared they were about to climax and I pulled out my cell phone and speed dialed hers. It was now approaching midnight (ten p,m, where I was supposed to be) and I detected real irritation when she finally answered the phone. I smiled as I could see that I really had caught her just as she was about to climax. I simply told her that I was thinking about her and that she had better be ready for a big surprise when I got home. She almost exploded, "Harry, do you know what time it is? I will be happy for the surprise, but not at this hour. Please let me sleep." I know she probably couldn't detect it, but I said in a sarcastic voice, "I'm sorry to have bothered you hon. get back to sleep and sleep well." I stayed long enough to see her get up and head for the bathroom while spouting to Dana, "What in the hell is wrong with him? I don't give a shit about his wonderful surprise. In fact, the best surprise he could give me is more nights with you." That really hurt. How had this come to pass? As I said before, I had some suspicions, but I really couldn't believe it could or would happen to me. Well, she was going to get her wish. She could have the rest of her life with that asshole. I returned to the hotel and had a fitful night's sleep and was up early. In the morning I visited an attorney friend who handles divorces. I transferred copies of the pictures to his computer and asked if he could draft the papers by early tomorrow afternoon. He told me it would be no problem but asked me if I didn't want to try for counseling and possibly reconciliation. I told him that I was sure this affair had been going on for some time and that after what I heard last night I didn't ever want to hear or see her again. Next I rented a U-Haul van and went to the house. I loaded the van with everything of mine that I could, and was able to do it without leaving too much evidence of my work. I wanted it to be part of my surprise, but, if she did discover my missing things, so what? She might think it was a burglary and if not, it would only soften the surprise that I was preparing. The things I took, I deposited in a mini-storage that I rented and then returned to the hotel. There I did some preparation for the next day, had supper and decided I would wait for her to call me. Before the stores closed, I purchased two cheap cell phones. When I purchased them I paid cash and used Dana's phone number and address. And to mess things up a little more, I put a cancel on his his current cell phone. I was informed that the service would be noted as terminated today but that it would be sometime around noon tomorrow before the service would actually be cut. About ten thirty she called. I could definitely detect irritation in her voice as she asked why I hadn't called. I lied and told her that I had a tough day and that I had come back to the hotel and taken a nap and it was her call that had awakened me; that I hadn't even had supper yet. I could tell she was nervous and I knew she was at Dana's ready to hop in the sack with him. I said, "Honey, you don't sound like yourself. Has something happened? She almost snapped, "No. I was just worried about you. I'm concerned about you. Why didn't you call before you took your nap?" I reiterated that I hadn't planned to go to sleep. I was sorry. Then I told her I had my flight plans and would get to the airport at ten to five tomorrow evening. I left the hotel about five thirty a.m. and went to the house. As I had guessed, she had not returned yet. I drove to Dana's and her car was still there. I speed dialed her cell phone and got a rather drowsy and irritated response wanting to know what I was doing up and why I was calling at this hour? I told her I was sorry, I had forgotten the time difference. I told her that I had just missed her the past few days but more importantly, I wanted to let her know that I would be out of cell phone range most of the day. I would be at a ranch back in the mountains. I told her I would call as soon as I returned from the ranch. She replied, "Thanks for letting me know sweetie. I'll see you tonight. Now let me get a few more winks before I have to get dressed for work. Love you, Bye." Last night I had not been able to see that the yard was surrounded by a six foot concrete block wall and I could now wander around without neighbors being able to see me. The sun was not up and I could still move fairly freely into Dana's back yard. Next I dialed his number with the cell phone I bought yesterday. When he answered, slightly out breath I said, with the mouthpiece covered with a handkerchief and a raspy voice, "Mr. Johns you don't know me. But, I feel we should meet tonight after work. I have some pictures of you and Mrs. Osgood that you might like to purchase. Of course, you are not obliged to purchase the pictures but then I would feel it necessary to see if Mr. Osgood might like them." He spluttered for a moment and then said, "Who the hell is this? If it's supposed to be a joke, it's not funny." "Mr. Johns, like you, I am a business man. I don't joke about business matters and I have no time to waste. The pictures were shot through your bedroom window and they are really quite wicked. You and Mrs. Osgood talk this over and I'll meet you at the Osgood's at five-thirty this afternoon. I understand he is out of town. If your not there then, I'll see to it that Mr. Osgood gets the photos." I hung up and turned the phone off. By this time I was near the bedroom window which had been opened some during the night. Just as I got into position I heard Faith scream, "Not at my house. Not tonight. Henry will be there or will be coming in at any moment. Call and change the time and place" Dana tried dialing the caller id number, but of course he found the receiving cell phone turned off. He was trying to explain to her that he had no way to reach the caller. Faith was in complete hysterics but she finally got around to asking how anyone could have gotten pictures of them. Dana had to concede that someone could have entered the back yard and taken them. With that they both headed to the window and I ducked behind the barbecue. I heard her wailing at him and asking why the shades had not been drawn. Of course, he was defenseless but he told her she could have perfectly well drawn them herself. After several minutes they both regained some of their senses and devised a plan. Faith was to call me and ask me to meet her at her office and that we go out to dinner. Dana had the key she had given him and would go to our house to meet the person, explain that she had been unavoidably detained at work and try to negotiate a deal. If there was no way out other than to have her there, Dana would arrange a meeting some other time. Next she tried to reach me and ended up leaving a message. "Honey, it's me. Please give me a call as soon as you get back into cell phone range. Once the plan was settled on, it was Faith that suggested they have a quickie before she had to go home and get ready. As they were getting on the bed and I was leaving I heard her say, "Oh Dana, everything will be alright, won't it? These last three days have been so wonderful. I don't want them to end. I never thought I could love someone any more than I did Henry." I was out of earshot before he answered. The black cloud of despair completed its coverage before I reached the car. I kept trying to figure out what had gone wrong in our marriage, when it happened, and what I could have done, if anything. The words coming out of my wife's mouth made it obvious that her love for me was gone. Why couldn't she have been honest and told me we were through? Again, after feeling sorry for myself for a while, rage and revenge started to take control. Faith and Dana, you are going to pay. Just before time that my flight for home should have been leaving I called her to let her know I was on my way. She was sounding somewhat anxious and she replied, "Oh honey, I'm so glad to hear you. I can hardly wait to see you. Did you get my message?" I told her that I hadn't had time to check my messages. She said, "Honey, if you're not too tired, why don't you meet me at the office and then let's go out to dinner. I've missed you so much and I don't want to cook tonight. Will that mess up your surprise?" I told her "not at all" and we ended the call. A little before five that afternoon, I parked next door, doubting Dana would know my car, and went into the house. As I had hoped, inside the house it was becoming dark as the winter sun disappeared. I checked to be sure where everything was, I didn't want to stumble over a piece of furniture or a chair when the time came. I then took my baseball bat and sat down where I could see out of the dining room window. Once seated, I pulled out my cell phone and called Faith. I told her I had just gotten off the plane. Before I could go on, she told me how happy she was to hear me and know that I had arrived safely. Then I dropped the bomb. I said, "Honey, I hate to mess up your evening out plans, but I don't feel very well and am going straight home." I could hear the panic in her voice when she said, "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Why don't you wait at the airport and I'll come get you. If you don't feel well, you shouldn't be driving." I said, "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not that sick. I can make it OK. I'll see you there in a little while." I hung up before she could reply. I had worked out the timing so that Dana should be at the house shortly after I would supposedly get there. I also knew that if Faith left her office right now, she could not get there until ten or fifteen minutes after Dana. My only question was, had Dana left the office yet? He should have if he was going to meet the caller at the appointed time and she couldn't reach him by his cell phone. Things were going right on schedule. The twilight outside had deepened, I had drawn the blinds, and there was little light in the house. I saw Dana pull up, get out of the car, and carefully look around. Satisfied he came to the front door, fumbled with the lock for a moment and then let himself in. As soon as he started to close the door and reach for the light switch, I came up behind him and said, "Where did you get the key Dana?" He twirled to face me and as he did, using the bat in battering ram fashion, I drove it into his mid section with all my might. As he started to fold, I twirled the bat like a drum major and caught his jaw with the upswing. I let him fall to the floor unconscious and then I used the bat to administer three swift blows to the genitals. I then went to the phone on the desk and called 911 and reported a break in and that the perpetrator was down and injured. A first response fire vehicle was the first to arrive. I went out to assure them the assailant was out of commission. Within moments a police cruiser arrived followed by an ambulance. The ambulance crew worked on Dana, who by now had regained consciousness and was in severe pain. They were just about ready to move him to the ambulance when Faith came shrieking in wanting to know what had happened. The police officer to whom I was giving a report let me go to her. I took her by the arm and guided her to the sofa and had her sit down. The whole while, she kept looking at Dana with a look of horror on her face. I smugly must admit that he wasn't pretty. Her first question to me was, "Is he hurt badly?" I replied, "I certainly hope so." She looked at me with tears in her eyes at first and then they changed to a look of rage. She said, "You set this up didn't you?" I told her that I had just gotten home when someone started to enter the house. I knew it wasn't you and it could only be a burglar. I took care of the intruder and then found it was Dana. I could see the fury building in her eyes as she said, "You bastard. You didn't like him so you set this up. I'm going to let the officer know what is going on here." She started to get up and I pushed her back down. I looked her square in the eyes and said, "Would you like to tell me and the officer how he has a key to our house?" Through the tears she replied, "Honey, I have no idea. I can't believe he would have stolen one when he was here." I said, "You lying bitch. You gave the key to him. Let me show you something." I reached for the envelope on the lamp table and gave it to her. "What's this? I told her to open the envelope and look, that it was self-explanatory. She looked at the first two pictures, clasped her hand over her mouth and ran for the bathroom, dropping the pictures. I picked them up replaced them in the envelope, and returned to the officer. He wanted to know if my wife was alright and I told him she had just received a great shock with what had happened. Dana had been taken out and I completed my report to the officer. I told him that I knew the victim but I had no idea how or why he had our key and that my wife didn't know either. The officer finished his work and as he left, he said "Well whether you knew him or not, breaking and entering is breaking and entering. You messed him up pretty good and you may be facing a civil law suit." There were a couple of good sized spots of blood in the entry where he went down. I decided she could clean it up and went to the bathroom where I could hear her loud gasps and sobs. I knocked on the door and told her everyone was gone and went to the bedroom. There I opened my briefcase and took out a large manila envelope. The envelope had the divorce papers and a letter from me. In the letter I told her goodbye and that the house would be placed on the market next week; that I would return next week to gather my personal property. I told her she need not try to contact me; that I had seen and heard all that I needed. I also told her to inform her fucking SOB companion that if he tried to retaliate against me in any way, his present condition would seem like a scratch compared to what I would do with him then. Affixed to the envelope was the familiar LOVE stamp with a "U" bordering it. But, this time it was different because it also had a broad red line in ink, starting at the upper left of the "U," cutting across the stamp, and terminating at the lower right corner; a proper and fitting cancellation (I love you—not) for a stamp and almost thirty years of marriage. The next week I sued the furniture company. But, instead of asking for a financial award, I demanded that letters be sent to all of their suppliers, vendors, and manufacturers announcing the termination of Faith and Dana as employees and buyers and stating the reason why. The company was more than happy to comply with the settlement terms. I personally visited Dana and informed him that if he filed a suit against me for damages, he would not want to bear the pain or the consequences. Nor would he want the expense of fighting an Alienation of Affections suit. I must have been convincing because I never heard from Dana again. They were both fired and Faith found a job as a clerk at a lumber yard (Close, but not quite furniture). She stayed with Dana while he recovered, but he disappeared a few weeks later. Although she was entering menopause, it turns out that she was two months pregnant, probably from the last North Carolina trip. She aborted about a month later. * * * * * * It has now been two years since that horrible week. I can't say I have fully recovered, but I am going on with my life. I will retire in a year or two and will devote my time to being a full-time grandparent when the time comes. Until then, in addition to my normal work, I am working pro-bono for people in true need of legal assistance but can't afford it. My specialty has become representing the plaintiff in cases involving infidelity. Our divorce became final just two weeks after what would have been our thirtieth anniversary. My daughter has kept in contact with her mother since then but she hasn't forgiven her for what she did to me and the family. She has told me that Faith regrets what she did and would really like to see if we couldn't somehow repair all the damage she did. I'm sorry. Simply having an affair could possibly have been repaired. But, the way she did it, her showing a complete lack of love and respect for me hurt, and still hurts for that matter. There is no way that I could ever respect, trust, or believe her again. Both of the children have gotten married during the last two years and neither invited her to the wedding. They both made a choice because I told them that I would not come if she were going to be there. They both knew that I would not hold it against them if they wanted their mother there, they knew they just couldn't have both. My daughter hugged me and asked, "Daddy, how can I get married if you are not there to give me away?" I don't think my son has talked to Faith since we split. He was very hurt and he still cannot understand why she did it. One night while visiting, he told his new wife, "Honey, if you ever did something like that to me, you wouldn't have to regret it like mom has. I'd kill you." Today, as new Love stamps are issued, I can't help but feel a pang when I think of what might have been. By-the-way, the kids will not even purchase Love stamps any more. Love U Ch. 02 Dear Reader: This is Faith speaking. If you read the first installment, you know what has happened. Now, if you would like to know how it happened, I'll tell you. If you don't care how it happened, you can stop reading right here. There is a steady stream of tears flowing down my face as I clutch the worn envelope with the Love stamp framed by a 'U' and the red diagonal line (I love you not). It was two years ago that Henry left it for me. Of course, now I know what a fool I was. I also know that age and maturity do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Unfortunately I also now know that there are some mistakes that people make that cannot be repaired. My mistake was one of those. My meeting Dana was purely coincidental. I was going through a period of sexual frustration. We had reached the age where Henry's sex drive and needs were on the down hill run and mine were still high, and maybe even climbing. To make it short and simple, I felt like I wasn't getting enough. I had the feeling, even though I knew our friends of similar ages were going through the same thing, that I was missing out on my sex life. I knew that somehow our friends were working it out. But that didn't help me. In fact, I knew that two of our friends were having affairs; obviously not good role models. Henry was sort of indifferent to sexual thoughts and he was also putting in some heavy hours as one of the senior partners in the firm. I have to admit that I didn't really do much to let him know my feelings and needs and to try to resolve what I perceived as a problem with our marriage. So, when Dana came along, I was ripe. He was young, outgoing, funny, and exuded sex. When he asked me out to dinner following one day at the show in North Carolina, I was happy to accept, for the companionship if nothing else. These business/buying shows are deadly. I'm not a social butterfly, and bar hoping with some of the crowd was not really my thing. As a result I often spent the nights watching television by myself. As the day ended I found myself getting excited almost giddy. I was feeling much as I remembered feeling as a girl when I had been asked out on a date by a boy I found interesting. I decided that I didn't want to go out in one of my business suits. So, as soon as the show closed for the day, I headed for a department store to buy a nice cocktail dress. On the way I passed the Frederick's of Hollywood store and as I was about to pass by, the thought came to me that it would be fun to do a little teasing. What I had in mind was under apparel that might accidentally be visible during the evening. But, when I emerged, I was carrying a package containing a garment they called "a dancer's dress" and high heels. When I returned to the hotel I called Henry and told him I would be out with a group for supper and probably wouldn't be back before his bed time. He told me to have a nice time and that he loved me. His telling me he loved me made me feel a little bad, but then I thought, "Going out with a nice young man for dinner and maybe teasing him is nothing to feel bad about." Henry never saw this dress. It was considerably more than just a little daring. It was a dark blue ankle-length dress with a split up the left side to the waist line. It was backless down to the waist with a bib-type front, held up with spaghetti straps and held closed with a spaghetti strap and fastener that went across the back. The bib came to just slightly above my nipples. In short, almost half of my breasts were exposed and when I was moving around, a considerable amount of my breasts would be exposed momentarily. I knew I was pushing the envelope but I had decided that I was going to make it fun for both of us. Truthfully, I hadn't considered anything happening beyond teasing Dana and giving him something to look at. Immature thinking? You bet your ass! What's worse is that by now, deep down inside of me, I was speculating what I would do if things proceeded beyond teasing and, yes, as the excitement built in my mind, I believe that I was beginning to hope they would. Of course, I hadn't given my new dress much thought when I bought it beyond thinking and knowing it was revealing and sexy. But when I got my shower and started to get dressed I realized that I could wear absolutely nothing underneath without ruining the effect by the outline of the undergarments. The bra and panties I had just bought would have to be used some other time. The only other possible article I could wear would be some thigh high stay-up stockings, which I had not bought. Stockings were not going to do much other than make the outfit sexier. I decided against going back and getting some. I had tried it on in the shop and recognized that it was quite sexy and very revealing. But I was still wearing my bra and panties when I tried it on. Now it hit naive me. The dancer's dress was one that a stripper or someone who wanted to let it all hang out would wear. At this point I considered wearing my nice business suit and taking the dress back tomorrow. But, after wavering for a while I finally decided to give it a try. I wouldn't be seen by anyone I knew and what could it hurt? You can probably write the story of what happened next. But I'll tell you anyway. Dana was wearing a nice black business suit when he came to pick me up. His mouth dropped open when I opened the door. After complimenting me on my appearance, he asked if he could use the phone. I was shocked when I discovered he was canceling one reservation and getting a new one for dinner and dancing on the roof top of one of the hotels. Everything was very circumspect on the cab ride to dinner. We had a cocktail before a wonderful and delicious Surf and Turf dinner. After dinner we danced and talked and had another couple of drinks. However, with each dance he was pulling me closer to him. It felt good and I could feel his cock, which was beginning to stiffen, pressing against my stomach. We would dance a couple of songs and then sit one or two out. During these interludes, Dana kept up a constant humorous chatter while mixing in compliments on my looks and wondering how I kept my beauty. We had determined earlier that I was eighteen years his senior. Yes, he was only slightly older than my twins. I wasn't repelled and I didn't mind at all when his hand would brush the bare skin on the side of my breast. As the evening progressed, his lips touched mine during one dance. Since I didn't resist or react, he tried a few more direct and longer kisses. I was getting hot, and I knew it. I also knew what this could lead to but I didn't do anything about it. I was ENJOYING it. As we danced, his hands were discretely covering my body and I think he had figured out that there was nothing but skin under the dress. After one dance we returned to our booth, he sat on my left and as I sat down, the front panel of my skirt fell between my legs so that my left leg was almost completely exposed. After sitting a few moments he leaned over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. As he did, I felt his right hand come to rest about mid way up my thigh. I turned my face to meet his and opened my mouth so our tongues could meet. This was his signal and his hand now moved up and rotated to the inside of my thigh. At that moment I knew for sure that I would let him to fuck me if wanted to. When his hand contacted my pussy I wanted to scream out, but I didn't. I simply put my right hand on top of his and pressed it into my pussy and said, "It's late Dana. Don't you think we should get back and get some sleep?" He took the cue and we left. The ride back to our hotel was not at all like the one coming over. The cabbie got quite a show. We were hardly in the cab before we locked in a hot tongue swapping kiss. His hand pushed the spaghetti strap off one shoulder and it didn't take but a moment before he had my nipple in his mouth. A moment later, his hand went under my dress, found my pussy and a finger slipped into me. While this was happening, I unzipped his pants, pulled his cock out. When he came off my tits, I went down and covered the head of his cock with my mouth. If it weren't for the fact that the ride was pretty short, I think we would have fucked right there. Dana paid the cabbie, and with a broad grin, the cabbie said, "I'll take the show as my tip." I went crimson red but I didn't regret the ride. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But Dana had something in his pants to offer that I had now determined I was going to have. Besides, Henry would never know so what could it hurt? As soon as we stepped into my room, I unclipped the strap across my back, shrugged the spaghetti straps off my shoulder, and let the dress fall in a pile around my feet. I fell back onto the bed and watched Dana as he disrobed. His cock, which I hadn't really seen in the cab, looked to be about standard size, that is if Henry's can be called standard; but it was different in that while Henry's stood almost straight out when it was hard, Dana's curved up to the point that the head of his cock pointed almost straight up. He climbed on the bed beside me and slipped his finger into my pussy. I rolled over to face him and said, "Dana, you have me hotter than hell. There's a lot of time to play around later. I can't wait any longer. I want to feel you in me right now." Immediately he moved between my legs and inserted his cock in me. He hadn't stroked but two or three times and I had an orgasm. He felt entirely different than Henry. Not better or worse, just different, and I was loving the feel he created inside me. Obviously he was steamed up because he came in less than a minute. He pulled out just before he unloaded and I had cum all over my belly and some on my tits. Once he shot his sperm he reinserted his cock in me and we held tight until his cock became flaccid and fell down to rest between the cheeks of my ass. It had been a long time since I felt so satisfied and yet I was still not completely satisfied. He went to the bathroom and brought back a damp wash cloth and a towel and we cleaned up some. Then we lay down and began fondling each other. He was smooth and kept telling me how beautiful and wonderful I was. He tried to pry out information about me and Henry but I didn't tell him anything he didn't already know; that I was married but my sex life was not fulfilling. It was now approaching one in the morning and Dana said, "I have really loved our time together. You are quite a woman and I'd like to know you better. But, we have a busy closing day tomorrow and I had better let you get some sleep." He started to get up and I pulled him back saying, "Instead of you wasting your time dressing and going back to your room and then undressing again, why don't you spend the night here and go back in the morning?" As I knew, he didn't reject the invitation and he lay down and pulled me to him. As he embraced me he said, "You know, you didn't finish the job you started in the taxi." As he said that he moved around and put his tongue in my pussy while presenting his curved cock to my face. The curvature of his cock made it very easy for me to do a complete nose-to-the-balls deep throat fucking. It was very easy and very fulfilling to be able to do it with no effort. We provided each other with oral sex until I could feel him start to stiffen. I took him out of my mouth long enough to tell him that I wanted him to finish in my mouth. I hardly got his cock back in my mouth before he erupted and I had a body shaking orgasm. I couldn't believe how wonderful and fulfilled I was feeling. It had been literally ages since Henry did this to me. We were tired by this time and we went to sleep in each other's arms. We had set the alarm so that we would have some time in the morning and when the alarm did go off, we both used the bathroom and then coupled together on the bed. We didn't need much foreplay before we were both ready and Dana took me missionary style. This time I took all his juices in my pussy. We didn't use protection, but I wasn't worried about disease and as far as I knew, I was pretty well out of the child bearing years. As the show was ending that afternoon, Dana came to me and asked if there were any way I could stay over for the special sessions on Monday and Tuesday. At first I said no. But later in the afternoon, while I was on the phone to my boss, I just threw out the idea of attending the special sessions. I was surprised when he told me he thought that might be a good idea. "Faith, you have been doing an excellent job and I know the specials are fun. You deserve the opportunity. Besides, there are some changes in the wind and your traveling days to North Carolina may be coming to an end." The news was a mixture of sweet and sour to me. On the one hand I knew the change probably meant promotion. On the other hand the change meant my relationship with Dana was going to be short. I called Henry and let him know of the extension for which he was not pleased. I also let Dana know I was staying. He was tickled and told me we were going to have a wonderful time. I already knew it. With the news I had just received, I was going to make this a trip to remember. At the end of the day I went to the front desk to arrange for another four nights. I was shocked to learn that another convention was booked and that there were no rooms available. Upon hearing that; Dana said, "That's wonderful. Now you can share my room and it won't cost you anything." Things were going beautifully. I got my bags from the bellman who had stored them when I checked out in the morning, and took them to Dana's room. He had gotten an extra key and met me at the elevators. He actually had a small suite rather than a regular hotel room. There was a living room/parlor, a bedroom, and a luxurious bathroom with a large Jacuzzi/bath. Once in the room, he pulled me to him and gave me a long passionate kiss. Then he said, "I don't know about you, but I'm sort of drained. Let's get a shower, change into something comfortable and then order room service. Let's stay in tonight." I don't know when I had been happier to hear, "Let's stay in tonight." I hugged him and told him it couldn't suit me better. He suggested we shower together but I suggested we shower together later. Right now I wanted a long soaking in the Jacuzzi. He agreed and asked what I wanted to eat; that he would order while I was in the bath. I gave him my order and told him to give me at least forty-five minutes. I was toweling off when he knocked on the door and told me to look on the bed before I finished dressing. When I went into the bedroom there was a little box with a ribbon adorning it in the middle of the bed. When I opened it, there was beautiful wisp of a black negligee laying in it. I finished drying as my thoughts turned to what the next few days held in store. I took time to put my make-up on and then slipped into the negligee. It was definitely made solely for the eyes of your lover only. I opened the door to the living room and stepped in. Dana was dressed in a terry cloth bathrobe and I guessed nothing else. He was just dismissing the room service bell boy when he turned and saw me. He let out a low whistle and said, "Wow, I see dessert has just come in. Let's have something to eat so we can get to the dessert." We enjoyed our supper and focused our talk on getting to know one another. We found that we were compatible on most of our likes and dislikes and found little that didn't make us a good match. He had been married but lost his pregnant wife in a freak accident. According to his account, I was the first female he had found that he was comfortable with since his wife. By the time we finished eating, it was almost eight o'clock. We immediately started with dessert and didn't finish it until after three in the morning. I was in heaven. I was satisfied again. I was also in turmoil. I now had a husband and a lover and I didn't want to let go of either. One spark of hope came to light when I found out that Dana's home was less than five hours away from mine. Maybe we could meet from time-to-time. We agreed to keep in touch by e-mail and that somehow we would get together. We didn't wake up until mid-morning. He was awake before me and I came awake with the feel of his finger in my pussy. We did our bathroom necessities and got back in bed. He fingered me while I stroked his cock. As the waves of passion overcame me, he slipped his cock into me. Once in, we made slow stroking movements and allowed the passions to grow little-by-little. It took about half an hour before we both started to reach a climax. Then suddenly we went into a frenzy and we both exploded. The remaining three days were like paradise to me. I don't think I have fucked that much in the last two or three years combined. When it was time to part, the only thing I was sure of was that I wanted much more of Dana. A week after I returned home, Dana let me know he would be staying in town over night a week from Thursday. I didn't know what to do. I wanted him but I didn't know what to do with Henry. We finally settled on the idea that I would entertain some clients and would be home before our normal bed time (about 10:30). I would also 'need' to go to work early the next morning. I let Henry know about my schedule for Thursday night and Friday morning and he was satisfied. I took off from work a little early on Thursday and met Dana at his hotel. We had a room service dinner and then he and I took over from where we left off before. Nothing had changed. He still satisfied me in every way and I had to force myself to get out of bed, get dressed, and go home to Henry. The next morning I kissed Henry goodbye as he was having his coffee. I returned to Dana's arms and another wonderful round of sex before tearing myself away to go to work. He had pumped me full and I spent the rest of the morning thinking about us as little puddles of his cum would run down into my panties. I had to make several trips to the ladies room to wipe and dry as much of the cream as I could. At lunch time I bought a new pair of panties to replace the cum-soaked ones. By that time the dribbling had come to a stop. I went home to Henry that night wishing it were Dana I was meeting. Henry was ready for sex after supper and I had a shower before dinner. The sex with Henry was gentle, loving, and sweet. But after Dana, it lacked the satisfying fulfillment I was wanting. A week and a half later, Henry announced that he would be gone overnight on Tuesday the next week. I informed Dana and was delighted when he responded that he would plan to come and stay overnight. This was the start of a pattern. Whenever Henry went out of town Dana came. I was afraid of getting caught by a husband returning home early. So, Dana would come to the house except for the night before Henry was due home. I figured that if Henry came home and I wasn't there, I could fashion an excuse. But, if Henry came home and found me with Dana, there would be a very unfortunate end to things. It was this activity that started me to use the Call Forwarding service with our phone. Henry would not know that his calls were being forwarded to my cell phone when I was at Dana's hotel (and later at his condo). Interspersed with Henry's trips, Dana would come to town and I would entertain clients for dinner. It didn't give us a lot of time but it bought us four to five hours on those occasions. All told, we had fifteen nights together before the next North Carolina trip. Three months before the trip Henry had an unusual three night trip. When Dana came we had two nights at home and one in the hotel. It was the second night at home where things began to get complicated. First of all that night we made our plans for North Carolina, including the extra days for the special meetings. I knew my boss would approve. Love U Ch. 02 The second thing that happened occurred as Dana was about to slip his cock into me for the first time that night. As he positioned himself and started to lower his cock into me he said, "I love you Faith. Do you love me?" Although a little shocked, I responded, "Oh yes Dana. I love you too. I want to be with you all the time." The verbal exchange ended as his love tool penetrated all the way into me and we pumped until he blew a big load into me. Once we came down from the sexual high, Dana looked me straight in the face and said, "Faith, I'm not kidding. I love you, but our present arrangement is making me crazy. Have you considered, or would you consider divorcing Henry?" Well, to be absolutely truthful, I must admit that the idea of a divorce had crossed my mind on several occasions. However, the consideration always stopped when I admitted to myself that I really did love Henry. He is a wonderful husband and father and has always put me in front of anything that he might like or want. How wonderful it would be if I could just fire up his sex drive again. On the other hand, I doubted that anyone, especially Henry could ever come up to the mark that Dana had set. And then there was always the consideration of the twins. What would a divorce do to them? They are grown up but a divorce could hurt everyone deeply. I looked back at Dana and said, "I love you too Dana. Maybe it's time to talk about our future." We had a long discussion and I had to tell him that I was not sure about a divorce right now; that I had considered it but I needed to think about it more. Then I hit on an idea. I could make a couple of one night trips each month and Henry wouldn't object. If I did that, and Dana came here a couple of times a month, we could be with each other almost every week. He was not overjoyed with my solution but he acknowledged that it would probably work temporarily. Using the client dinners and my one night excursions, we were able to see each other about once a week until we were together again in North Carolina. I don't know if Dana was happy, but I sure was. I had a wonderful home, a fantastic job, a perfect husband, and a very fulfilling lover. My world was perfect. The beginning of the end to my perfect world began with my last trip to North Carolina. Although I had a room during the show, I spent the nights with Dana. After the day's routines we went to dinner and then to my room. We messed around but we were mainly waiting for me to have my nightly call with Henry. Shortly after the call we went to Dana's suite and made love. You note that I said we made love, not that we had sex or that we fucked. I was in love with Dana and he loved me and we made love. For the weekend and Monday and Tuesday, I stayed with Dana. Since the first time, the 'manufacturers' paid my expenses, I didn't want to change things and possibly raise suspicions. On Friday afternoon when I called Henry, I hit the first bump in the road. When I informed him that I would be staying, he went through the roof. He didn't ask, he told me that these extended trips were going to stop, that we didn't need my income, and that he wanted a wife, not a furniture buyer. We didn't argue. I knew Henry well enough to know that we had some serious face-to-face talking to do. I told him I would speak to my boss and that this would be the last. I was able to say what I did because I knew a promotion was coming and that my time away from home would be drastically cut. I also knew that Dana had applied for a position with my company and was likely to get it. The next four days with Dana were wonderful, as usual. However, I was deeply bothered. Was it time for divorce talks? Could I just level with Henry and tell him that he wasn't enough; that I needed a lover? Could Dana and I go on as we have with no concentrated periods of being together? Was I way off base and should I get ready to tell Dana goodbye? The truth was that sex with Henry had improved. But it was not like what Dana and I shared. It didn't have the excitement and intensity that I got from Dana. And, worst of all, I loved them both; differently but both just the same. All these questions, and no one to confide in, rendered the four days not as happy as I would have liked them to be. Dana became aware of my 'down' mood and tried to offer assistance but I couldn't accept it. I just told him that I was not feeling real well. In the end, I did tell him about Henry's ultimatum to which he replied that it looked like it was the time for me to seriously consider divorce. That didn't help to end my days with him on a high note. I was being squeezed on both sides. Soon after I returned home, my promotion was announced and I was able to tell Henry that my long trips from home were ending. To my surprise, Henry informed me that he would probably be making more trips but that they would only be for one night for the most part. The week after my promotion, my life took a new and wonderful turn. It was announced that Dana would join our firm next week. I immediately made plans to have him to the house for dinner. I wanted my two loves to meet and I was looking forward to having them as friends, a husband and a lover. I asked Henry if it would be OK to invite a new member of the firm to dinner since he was staying in a hotel while waiting for his condo. Henry was happy for me to do it. My joy went away when Dana came for supper and the evening ended early when Henry basically invited Dana to leave. After he left, I lit into Henry and he made it very clear to me that he did not like Dana and he wanted me to avoid him. I should have taken the warning sign and double checked everything thereafter to make sure I didn't do anything to raise suspicions. But, as it turned out, I didn't The following week, Henry had to leave for two nights. I screwed up by not turning on my cell phone on the second night when I went to Dana's and Henry figured out what I was doing. The end came swiftly and mercilessly. As I said before, the end came six years ago. I should be looking forward to my thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. I have hoped against hope that somehow Henry and I could get back together. But I realize now that it is a silly hope. No one who calls himself a man would put up with or forgive what I did to him. I found that I was pregnant a few weeks after we split and no matter how you counted it, it had to be Dana's. A week after I told him, he (Dana) resigned from his job, left the city, and I never heard from him again. I learned about that time that Dana had been divorced twice and that there was no pregnant wife who had been tragically killed. My children basically abandoned me when they found out what happened. I was not invited to either of their weddings because if I was invited, Henry would not come. I now have three grandchildren but have only seen the one belonging to my daughter a couple of times. I don't exist as far as my son is concerned. Now I live an almost normal single life. I have friends and I do the things most people do. But, I don't have a husband to go home to or children to visit. In essence, I have no one to love me or for me to share my love with. Remarry you ask? Not on your life. I would only be hiding my grief in someone else. No one deserves that burden, especially when it comes covered under a love that can never be replaced. I am sitting before my fireplace and have fed a collection of over one hundred letters with "Love U" postage into the fire one at a time. The only remaining envelope is the last one, the 'Love you not" envelope. I look at it for several long moments and then toss it in and watch it burn. And with the last ember from the envelope dying I say to myself through a stream of tears, "You stupid unloving bitch. You really knew better but you wouldn't listen to your head. You couldn't realize what you had until you screwed it up." I think I heard one of you readers ask if I had contemplated suicide? Yes, I certainly did! But as you already know; I'm not that strong a person.