74 comments/ 146660 views/ 70 favorites Lightning and Chainsaws By: curious2c I studied that old tree carefully. If I cut wrong just a smidgen, it would careen off into an area I didn't want it to, and that would bring me lots of issues. I was still upset over having to cut it down at all, but the storm and all those lightning strikes made it need to be done now. Yes, I said strikes, as in more than one. Whoever said that lightning never strikes twice in the same place was obviously ignorant of lightning. The tree was probably the oldest and most definitely the tallest and biggest in the whole area. Before the lightning struck it the third time, it had been nearly one hundred eighty feet tall. How do I know this you may ask? Well, I topped it off last weekend and the high end measured forty-three feet tip to cut. The second or mid cut measured in at just over forty-two foot, and the remaining part I measured just after taking the mid section out, mainly to ensure that I'd cut enough off so the remaining part would clear the neighbor's house... just in case. The pressure was about as high as it would ever get right now, today. If you haven't guessed by now, I am a logger. Rather, I used to be a logger, as now I manage cuts and cruise timber sales. We've lived in this old house for a long time. Matter of fact when we first bought it we only had two neighbors in total. Josh, who lived next door, had been retired long before we moved in, and down at the bottom of the hill was old lady Frasier. She had also been here for a long... very long time. Now, around ten years later, a whole development had grown around us, and most of the reasons we'd moved here were gone. Most of the trees had been cut to make way for roads, driveways and homes. It looked... sterile now, if you asked me, sterile and citified. In the process of getting the permit to cut the tree, the city fathers had seen fit to limit the number of days any part of the tree could stay standing, and they'd limited the time after each part was felled to a short time to clean it up. When I fell this last part of the tree, I'd have about three days altogether to cut it up into firewood and get it removed, as planned. The part that remained was just about eighty feet high and the base of the trunk is right around ten feet in diameter. The top end is just under six foot in diameter, so I have my work cut out for me. Getting it all cut up into firewood was going to take some long days. The whole cutting of this tree had become somewhat of a celebrity moment when some 'tree huggers' tried to prevent anyone from felling this old tree. They said it could live on and if cared for it would live another two hundred years. It went to court where the Judge ruled that the tree was dead (forester's from a third party studied the tree and the lightning strikes and noted that the sap was no longer viable and had dried up, therefore the tree was dead, the branches didn't know it quite yet, but they would by fall. Josh, Old Lady Frasier and the Judge would benefit, since I was giving them all the firewood. We'd filled Josh's wood shed already with the top and mid sections and today's cut would fill the Frasier's shed completely, and probably still leave enough to run two or three cords outside both of their sheds too. I was scoping out the whole project and making my decisions on the cut when Josh walked up to me carrying his movie camera. Okay, it's really a cam-corder, but I still call 'em movie cameras. Old habits die hard. "Hey there neighbor. Mind if I record the events?" "Nope. Matter of fact I would like a copy of it when we're done, if you don't mind." "Be a pleasure. You want me to tape your whole place while I'm at it?" "Think you can take it all in as the tree falls and all?" "No problem. It will be a pleasure to help you out son. You've been a damned good neighbor all these years. I'm going to miss you when you move on." Old Josh imagined in years when discussing things. He'd always been one to look way down the road. Most people wouldn't catch that about him at times, and they'd give him some strange looks. He looked at hours, days, weeks and months as seconds it seemed sometimes. "Won't be moving any time soon Josh. We've talked about that enough." "Yeah, we have. Seems a shame. Crying shame it is." He was looking over at the front yard. We were standing near his front deck since I'd gone over there during my inspections of the drop zone. "Yeah... not too much so though," I said, "Things are born, they grow up and then they die. It's the cycle of life." "Some things die a bit earlier than needed though." "Yep. Sometimes nature does what it wants regardless of who thinks what." "Got that right. Old lady Frasier, the Judge and I sure are lucking out. Our two wood sheds are going to be plumb full. What with the wood from this tree and that old yellow cedar you cut down for me, I'll have enough for several years' worth of heating now. I do appreciate that." "No problem. I had to do something with the wood. Sure won't use it up myself, not now anyway." "So... You're all set then? Going through with it to the end?" "Yep. Pretty much. I imagine the folks from city hall will be somewhat surprised to see it down today instead of this weekend though." "Well, that storm is coming in Friday they say. Can't have that tree like that in some wind storm. You know, the news crew will be here in a minute, don'tcha?" "Yep. That's another reason why I decided to do it today. Weekend would have every Tom, Dick, and Harry down there either protesting or gawking and drinking. Hope I don't wake up the dead or bother anyone while cutting it down though. That'd be a crying shame. I have too much to do and not enough time to get it all done it, it appears." "Oh, I think you'll manage. So, you still want me to call those folks right after you fell it?" "Yeah. Lawyer first and then about twenty minutes later Mary." "Okay. Sure hope you know what you're doing Charlie. If what I think happens, Mary might have a jump start on getting here." "Done this in my mind several times before. You know that." "Well, not quite like its being done today I'd say." "Tree's a tree Josh." He gave me a hard look, and then smiled. He shook his head and turned away, going into his house. He called over his shoulder as he topped the stairs to his deck. "Give me about ten minutes to set up the camera upstairs and then... git er done." "Will do Josh." I went over to my pickup and pulled out my Jonsered, forty-two inch bar chainsaw. It was a monster, and I hadn't used it in a quite a while. They just didn't make 'em like this any more. It had a chain that had carbide inserts in the teeth, and it was extremely sharp and deadly. It would cut through steel. That's what the carbide chain had been invented for, to cut spikes and stuff buried in tree trunks. The motor had just been gone through and I'd personally sharpened the chain up on my diamond wheel grinder the day before. This chainsaw was wicked fast on cutting and had horsepower a-plenty for the job ahead. Because I was in the city limits I'd been forced to install a muffler on the beast, much to my and Josh's disgust. We'd both grown up and worked with loud and obnoxious chain saws and loved the sound of them screaming while chewing through the big logs like butter. The permit to cut the tree had a whole section requiring the muffler, so I had to follow the rules. I'd follow the rules all right... they'd better too after the dust settled. I glanced around one more time, and then began lining up on the tree for the final cut. I had three wedges in, two on the southward end and one on the north. They would help guide this tree a little bit. If I've read the tree right, the binding in the trunk will cause it to snap free sudden like, spinning, or as Chris, my wife would say, pirouette, about a full circle before beginning its downward fall. As such, I knew it would walk off the remaining stump about one to two feet northward, and the tree's descent would be modified by the lack of support under that part. I estimated it would fall in a West Northwest direction and land nearly perfectly along side the sidewalk. Since it had been a while since I'd felled a tree like this I could be rusty and off just a tad. I hope not though. I dearly wanted it to fall perfect. TV news reporters tend to make one want to do things right. I briefly looked around. I could see several pickups pulling up near the TV van down the street a ways. Two of the guys from those trucks were talking to Ol' Lady Frasier. She was pointing off in my direction and they were all smiling widely. It was almost a party atmosphere. To tell the truth, this was breaking my heart. This old tree and I had a history and I never thought I'd be the one to be cutting it down, especially like this. I checked over the saw one more time, and seeing Josh all set up, I started it up. It was running smoothly, though way too quietly. I hated that damned muffler. I began sawing into the base of the tree, using care to keep my angle as precise as I could. I stopped once and drove the wedges in a bit more on the South side; the North one was good to go. I saw and felt the movement just before I heard the snap. I stepped back, removing the saw with the practiced motion of years of doing this. Killing the saw, I stepped back three more times, giving me a little running room... just in case. Sometimes even the best fellers missed something. Sometimes trees could fight back, even in their death throes. Just as I thought, it slipped forward just a touch and then began the pirouette. I watched as the top began to lean over and saw that I had nailed it perfect. Smiling I started to walk up to the front porch of the house. As I cleared the top stair I heard the satisfying crunch of wood and metal. A little screech followed and then silence. I never even so much as glanced back because I knew it had fallen true. It wasn't nearly as loud as I thought it would be. I was surprised. Glancing over at Josh, who was still filming on his upper deck, I gave him the thumb and pinky sign to make the calls. He waved his cell phone in the air and pointed to the news van. "Live on the scene" he pantomimed with his mouth in an exaggerated way. I understood and mouthed back 'Live'. I could see the reporter walking up closer, but the camera person was staying back by the van where he could get a great view of the front, side and back of our house. It was about to get real exciting around here I supposed. I opened our front door still carrying the now silent saw and walked into the front room. I looked at the coffee table that I'd spent three months building for Chris sitting where it usually was, only it had lingerie and underwear spread about on it. I saw the wine bottle and two glasses, none with coasters under them standing in the middle. Another pained thought stabbed my conscious. She had never treated that table well, even though I spent a lot of time, hard work, sweat and love building it for her. Setting the saw down I picked up the two hundred and forty dollar back pack, that Chris just 'had to have' when she started her new job, from the closet where it had spent the last six months gathering dust. Unzipping it I started to stuff the underwear from the coffee table into it. I then moved over and grabbed the black dress and pantyhose next. Moving around the table I bent over and picked up the man's shirt and socks lying under it. I then picked up the pair of mans pants, removing the wallet. I opened the wallet while wondering why Chris always played her stereo so damned loud. I was lucky I guess, because if it hadn't been on they might have heard that multi-ton tree trunk landing on their vehicles. It had done a job on them. I was glad those ten buckets of cat litter had found their way under them before I cut that tree down. I paused to pick up Chris's purse and opened it. I removed some keys and her wallet before tossing it into the backpack too. I was thinking about her new truck. She really loved that thing. She'd made changes to it so it was nearly identical to her best buddy's. The only major difference was that hers was gasoline and her buddy's was diesel. Chris's truck was a brand new four door, four wheel drive model with custom wheels and stereo system. The one in front of hers had looked... well, they both still looked alike now that I thought about it, only the one in front had a lien from the lender on it still. Pete, my former best friend, owed about thirty two thousand on the beast yet. Chris had traded in her beamer for her pickup and managed to end up owing nothing on the truck due to the valuation of her car at that time. She'd let a friend talk her into just carrying the State mandated minimum liability insurance on it instead of the full coverage I'd recommended. That would suck now. Nice pickup all paid for and flat as a pancake. That same friend had somehow managed to drop his insurance from full coverage to minimum liability as well. His problem was that he owed a hell of a lot of money on a vehicle that wasn't worth diddly now too. 'Interesting', I thought as I picked up the saw and backpack. I got up to our bedroom door and heard the music clearly through the closed door. I could also hear grunting and groaning too. I tried the door and found it locked. I figured that. Chris had always been careful to lock the door while we had sex too, even though we didn't have any kids. I set the backpack down next to the expensive suitcase that I already placed there and stepping back a little to give me clearance to swing it, I started up the saw. I heard muffled exclamations as the chain bit into the door around the lockset. It took two maybe three seconds to remove the door from the lockset. I pushed the door open in time to see Pete standing naked by the bed. He looked a bit scared. Well, all right, more than a bit afraid, terrified, maybe? Chris was on the other side already blubbering, trying to cover her body from my view, like I would care at all anymore. I nodded at Pete and revved the saw for effect before letting it idle down. The dark colored chain spinning around that chainsaw bar must have looked quite intimidating to him since he lost all color in his face. "The doors through me and there's the window. Choose wisely grasshopper." I'd always wanted to say that last part. Too bad I finally got the chance under these circumstances. Pete fearfully glanced at Chris and then turned and leaped through the window glass, screen and all. I started swearing. Now I'd have to replace the screen the glass and the framework. Damned idiot. I never really thought he'd take the window out like that. I stepped over by the window and looked down onto our deck. He was lying on his side holding his ankle. I could see from here it was broke. He wasn't running anywhere too soon. I set the saw down and brought my attention to my wife. She was crying and trying to tell me she was sorry and it wasn't what I thought and so on and so forth. Like I was some kind of idiot that couldn't figure out they'd been playing house up here for the umpteenth time. "CHRIS! Shut the fuck up. Listen very carefully to me as I'm only going to say it once you skanky bitch." I paused as she quieted down. I could see she was really shaken by the tone of my voice, and probably more by the fact that I'd just sworn at her, calling her a bad name for the first time ever. "I'll start with the facts since you don't have a lot of time. Mary has been called. She's about fifteen minutes away. She'll probably be hell bent on getting here in less than fifteen minutes so remember that. Remember too that she's really attached to her guns and she just got a twelve gauge pump shotgun yesterday. Got that?" She took on a very scared look as she nodded at me. "Good. I'd advise you to get dressed as quickly as you can, grab enough clothes and put them in that damned four hundred dollar suitcase you got last month. As you go out the door grab up the back pack too. It has shitheads' clothes and your dress and stuff that was downstairs all over the coffee table I spent months building for you. Your purse is in there, but our joint credit cards and the bank card are not. Your own personal credit card is still there. Shitheads credit cards and his bank card are out of his wallet as well... Mary will want them I think. Got that?" Again she nodded as tears ran down her face. I had to look away and pause for a minute. This was hurting me more than I expected it would. It's hard learning to not trust and love someone you've relied on for almost ten years. "Your truck and dipshits truck are broke, seems that a large tree fell on them a few minutes ago. Somehow, you two missed all that excitement. I'd recommend you go out the back door since Mary's on the way and the news station van is out front with camera rolling. I'd also recommend that you help asshole out the back gate, call a cab and get his arrogant ass to the hospital. His ankle is very broke. Oh yeah, in case you haven't figured it out, we're through. The divorce papers are in that suitcase; you've been served, and don't come home any time soon. When you come here next you'll need to be escorted by the sheriff or his deputies. GOT THAT?" She nodded her head and started bawling. I turned and walked out in order to be downstairs when Mary got there. I didn't want her going off and killing either of our spouses, and I knew that her hot-headed way would cause her to be blind and stupid in the heat of the moment. I wasn't sure exactly when they'd started screwing around on us. I didn't care. That they had was reason enough for me. The tree had been a tool today. I'd spent a month knowing about them and trying to hide my disgust for her and him. I'd discovered them by accident, and then I took great care to not let on I had. I wanted to kill them both and I do believe that had they been in their trucks this morning, either one or both, I would still have cut that tree just like I had. My reason had returned before I did something stupid, and now I had to prevent Mary from doing something stupid... hopefully. As I stepped down off the front porch the crowd surged up closer. The TV cameras were rolling, taking in the tree, the crushed trucks, my house, and Josh, proudly standing with his back to Chris's truck smiling and talking to the reporter. He had one foot up kind of behind him, resting on what had been the drivers side door. "Why, he's about the nicest man you could ever meet. He's definitely not some crazy man. Do you know that he takes care of us old people? He's always doing for us, especially when he knows we can't do something. Never takes anything in return either. Damned fine man. Damned fine." "Would you say that he's bad with a chain saw then sir?" The reporter was looking in my direction now and again, as if gauging my mood. Josh laughed loudly. "Honey, that man standing right there is maybe the best timber feller in the country. He don't miss. He don't make mistakes. He puts 'em where he wants 'em and he never misses! He's held the Champion Feller title at the State fair for over ten years. I've seen him drop a hundred and eighty foot trunk bound trees on a dime, into the wind, on a hillside. NO ma'am, he's in no way bad with the chain saw. That is, unless you're on his bad side. Then all bets are off." I wished Josh wasn't being so uplifting of me right now. I hadn't counted on the whole country knowing I was a professional feller. It would make my story hard to believe if it ended up in court. I turned to see some of my logging buddies driving up. I noted that Jed had his portable hydraulic log splitter behind his truck. I guessed I was going to have some help bucking the log into firewood. Lightning and Chainsaws "Hey Charlie. How's things?" "Could be better Joe. I got a mess to clean up now." "I like that cat litter idea." "Cat litter?" "Yeah. We were wondering why you went and bought ten-twenty pound buckets of cat litter at the grocery store the other day. We didn't think you had a cat. Clever." "Yeah... well, don't spread that around, okay? I just didn't want the city guys to get all fired up over oil or anti-freeze running down the gutter." "Boy, remind me to never get you pissed off at me Charlie." The voice came from behind Joe. Max stepped around Joe in order to shake hands. His grip was strong and his smile was genuine. "That no good brother of mine still living?" "Yeah Max. Think he broke his ankle diving from my bedroom window though. He missed the hot tub, thank God. I'd sure hate to have to clean his remains out of that too." "I'm sure sorry about all this Charlie. I never have understood that skunk. He may be my brother, but I seriously think someone switched him at birth somehow, and made off with my real one." "Not your fault Max. I know how it is. I never once thought he'd do this with my wife. Matter of fact, I never figured Chris would do this to me either." They both looked away for a moment and then started grousing around. Joe broke the mood that was starting to hang over me by turning to the work at hand. "Well, as soon as these TV folks get the hell outta the way we can buck this log up. Max, go get your Jonsered. I'll grab a strap so we can yank it off the trucks." "Hey Charlie, will it be all right for me to set the trailer up over there in your driveway?" Jed walked up beside me, clapping my on the shoulder. It felt good to me at that point in time. "Hey Jed, yeah. Go for it. My place is yours." "Sorry about... well, you know." "Jed, you and Betty knew all about what was going on and you kept quiet because you were afraid of what I'd do. I respect that, even though it hurt that you didn't tell me." "Awe man, what was I supposed to do? Betty was Chris' best friend and you're one of mine. I was hard put to not tell you, but Betty was sure that Chris would shut that affair down before long. She thought that Chris must have had a good reason for doing what she was doing. I was sure you hadn't done a damned thing wrong, but those women get crap in their heads and don't let go at all. I didn't know what to do Charlie. I really didn't" "It's okay Jed. I forgive you man. You're my friend and I know. I understand why. It's a huge mess now though, ain't it?" "Yeah. Betty heard all about it from me the other night. I read her the riot act. She's still upset. She called me a bit ago. Seems this whole shebang is all over TV today too. They even got a shot of dumbass jumping out your bedroom window naked." "Hope someone taped it. Josh caught most of it on his camera but the TV stations probably got a good shot of things too. Be something for the scrap book." I turned and walked away, wanting to be alone. I saw Mary racing up the street going hell bent and I knew I would need my best talking skills now. I could plainly see just by the way she was driving that she was well past upset. Screeching to a halt about three feet away from me, she jumped out of her pickup, her new shotgun in hand. Her hair was all crazy and the look in her eyes was something to behold. I never wanted to see her pissed off at me. I heard the distinctive sound of a twelve gauge pump shotgun having a shell jacked into the chamber. Looking to my left I saw the news reporter and camera man moving back with just a tad of fear on their faces. Just fear? Or maybe more like some anticipation? Were they hoping that Mary would start shooting? It made me wonder about reporters just a bit. "Mary! Put it down. They're gone. He broke his ankle jumping out the bedroom window and Chris took him to the hospital." I wasn't certain Chris had done any such thing, but I hoped she had listened to me. She knew Mary well enough to know that Mary could lose her temper easily at times, and when she did she always went way beyond nuts. I hoped I'd be able to calm her down before she did something stupid. "I'll shoot 'em both. The jackass and the whore are both dead meat when I see them next. God Damn it." "Mary, calm down. I took care of most of it and no matter what, if you do what you threaten to do, you'll be the one suffering for all this crap. I almost went the way you're headed but a close friend talked me out of it." "Who talked you out of that?" "Josh. He told me he kinda likes me and didn't want to see me wasting away in any jail cell for the next ten to twenty. If you keep on in this direction, that's where you'll end up. Do you really think they're worth all that pain and suffering?" "Charlie... look at what they've been doing. Right under our noses too." Tears started, and then her arms dropped. I finally felt safe enough to step in and take the shotgun out of her hands. She reluctantly gave it up to me, and I just set it in her pickup. I also removed her keys from the ignition and locked it up, pocketing the keys, just in case. I turned and hugged her to me. We stood there as the crowd and cameras stared. "Mary, do you want to come on over and talk to this ol' lady?" We looked over and saw Ol' lady Frasier standing near Chris's crunched down pickup. She held out her hand and Mary stepped forward, crying, and took it in hers. I glanced around for the Judge but didn't see him anywhere. He must have been in court. "Yeah. I'd like that. Charlie, you coming too?" "Nah, I got some wood to buck up before nightfall. Best be at it while I got all this help." Mrs. Frasier looked sharp at me and then nodded her head. "You be down to my place in an hour or so Charles. I'll be expecting you." "Yes Ma'am. One hour. I'll be there." I heard my friends behind me muttering under their breath. "Oh yeah, hiding behind the skirts like old times." "Always figures he gets the ol' ladies all upset and needing to talk to him. He gets out of more work that way." "Hey Charlie... think we can have it sectioned up in an hour? That's a whole lotta tree lying there." "Yeah, yeah, yeah," I responded. "I know... but you know as well. When old lady Frasier says be there at such and such a time, you'd better be there. You've all heard it and you've all done it, so back off suckers." They laughed and turned to cutting the remainder of the landmark into sections. "Charlie Wilson, you're under arrest." I turned to see the local police officers standing by their car trying to look important. The news camera was still rolling on us as they began to approach. My friends stopped what they were doing and made ready as if to battle them. I waved them off. "Arrest for what?" "Destruction of private property, vandalism, attempted murder, and whatever else we can find went on here. Matter of fact, cutting that tree down without a permit will work too." "First of all, I have the permit for cutting the tree. Secondly, the tree fell bad, and hitting those two pickups was a total accident. You can't prove else wise. Thirdly, does the Judge know you're down here pestering me? And last, but certainly not least, attempted murder? Don't you realize that if I'd wanted that asshole dead he would have been? What do you take me for anyway? I have some common sense...unlike you two. Go on, git outta here now." That last comment caused them to look at each other and then quietly turn and walk away. The 'Judge' I brought up is a real Judge and he's kind of a friend, and a neighbor of mine. In spite of everything that had happened lately, he still acted like, and was, a good friend. They didn't want any part of the Judge, since he could and would make their lives miserable for a long, long time. An hour later found me walking up old lady Frasier's sidewalk. The guys were finishing up cutting the sections and Jed had been kept busy splitting the wood up from each section. Two other buddies of mine had shown up with their pickups and trailers and were busily loading the split wood up to move down to Mrs. Frasier's woodshed. They'd chased me off, telling me I wasn't working for shit and might as well be off to old lady Frasier's. To be honest, I needed the break, if only to get my head settled a bit. It had been a trying day all the way around. Settling into the large overstuffed and very ancient chair in Mrs. Frasier's living room I saw Mary sitting there calm and quiet. Her eyes were red, but over all she was far better now than just a short time ago. I tossed the keys to her pickup into her lap. "Figure you've settled down and won't cause me to worry now... right?" "Yeah... I imagine I won't go hunting anymore now. I will be hunting a lawyer tomorrow though." She forlornly replied. "Mine said they'd help you if you wanted. It would be easier in some ways since they have lots of information about them both now. Of course, you may want your own lawyer... just an idea, that's all." "I'll talk to him." "It's a her. I've been told she's the best around these parts." "Okay then, I'll go see her. How are you Charlie? It must have hurt something bad to find this out." "I'll be okay. Probably take some time I imagine. You and me... hurting like this... I guess we can lean on each other time to time. If you want that is... I don't mean anything but talking and stuff, you know." "That's so you Charlie. You're hurting bad right now too, and instead of worrying about you, you're all worried about me. I suppose we'll talk to each other, but you're right about nothing else going on. I don't think I'll be feeling much like anything else for some time." I nodded, understanding her feelings exactly. "How was it watching that old tree smash their trucks flat?" "It felt great. I'll admit it still bugs me that I had to cut that tree down, but the cause it lent itself to...almost worth it." "Pete's gonna regret changing his vehicle insurance I'm sure." "He still owe a lot on it?" I asked only to reinforce my supposition on how much I figured he did still owe on that large pile of scrap metal." "Thirty one thousand, nine hundred and change. Yeah, it's gonna cost him dearly. Not nearly as much as I'm going to put the screws to him for though." "You suppose him and Chris will stay together?" I asked, wondering just how much she had fallen for the asshole. "I don't know what she saw in him, and if I don't miss my guess, as soon as he's out of the hospital he'll take off. This is the second time I've caught him cheating on me and if Chris takes up with him she'll be buying a lot of heartache. She was a damned fool to lose you like this, so maybe she's not as smart as I always figured she was though." "Well, Pete does have his business... that counts for something." Mary started to laugh loudly. I must have looked very confused at that point. "Oh man... it's MY business. Always has been. My names on the title to the land, the business licenses are in my name as are the loans and other legal stuff. He doesn't have jack shit." "I thought he owned it all and you worked for him?" "Is that what he told you guys? Probably did, knowing him. It's always been my business. He just worked as the manager. I inherited it from a lonely uncle when he died. Pete never had a thing to do with it turning out like it did either, if the truth be known. It's always been mine, and it's always been my efforts that brought it to what it is now. Pete is the figurehead." "Oh. Guess you'll end up okay then. Better than me anyway. That's good though. I'm glad that at least one of us will come out ahead in this deal. I suppose then that Chris will be looking for another job?" "Oh Charlie... you'll be okay too. I know you and I know how the whole damned city feels about you too. You'll do just fine. Trust me. Chris, on the other hand..." I could hear my soon to be ex-wife's employment future dying on those few words. Mrs. Frasier walked in just then with cups of coffee. "So young man... have you talked to the Judge yet?" "Uh, no Mrs. Frasier. Not really the right time for that. Maybe in a month or two." "Pardon my French Charles, but BULL SHIT. You go call him up and make an appointment right now. He's tore up a bunch over what's gone on between you and Chris. He's madder than a wet hen at Pete and Chris too. He thinks the world of you, as do I." "Judge Frasier can't do much about it though Ma'am." "Why honey, he sure can. You've filed for a divorce from Chris over it all. The Judge will more than likely be the one presiding over it. He'll make sure you don't get railroaded by her or Pete. He owes you that, he told me himself." "Ma'am, the Judge don't owe me a thing." "You gave a lot to his family over the years Charles. Giving us the firewood is just the tip of the iceberg and you know it. You've always taken care of me, even when that no account grandson of mine was doing you dirt." "That's different Mrs. Frasier. It was never about that." "Young man, Pete Frasier has our name and he may be my grandson, but he's a no account bastard. What he's caused here today will live in the memories of my family for years to come, and not with pride or happiness. You've always been the best friend to him, Max and the rest of us. He, of all people should have known that you'd not take well to his playing around with your wife. We all hoped you wouldn't kill him, even though he most certainly deserves it. That's what makes this so damned hard. We all love you son, even that stupid little man Pete has become... this is just killing us." "Thank you Mrs. Frasier. It has been rather... difficult." "Difficult? DIFFICULT?! Damn son, you are a master of understatement. By the way, why aren't you calling me 'Ol' lady Frasier' right now? Isn't that what you call me when I'm not in hearing distance?" I blushed a deep red. Mary started and looked at her in shock. "What? You never guessed that I've always known that everyone referred to me as 'Ol' lady Frasier'? Charles, you of all people should know that I know things." "Yeah, you do ma'am. I'm sorry about..." "Don't you go apologizing no how young man." She began testily. "I've come to think of it as an honor. Everyone knows who any of you are talking about once you say 'Ol' Lady Frasier' and don't think I don't know that you all have a deep respect for me in spite of what some would say is disrespectful. I kinda like it anyway. After all, I sure ain't no spring chicken anymore." "Yes Ma'am." "Now... you go call the Judge. He's expecting it soon. He has some things to say to you, and I've known him for nearly fifty years now and he's always had some damn good advice to those who'll listen." "Yes Ma'am." Ever feel like a school boy caught smoking in the boys room, or maybe throwing spitballs in the classroom? That's what Ol' Lady Frasier could do in a few words. She had a way about her. She always respected honesty, and if you were honest about anything you felt, she would always show you the respect of valuing a differing opinion. Her husband, The Judge, was much the same way. They were pillars of the community besides being Pete and Max's grandparents. "Fine mess we got though. You kicking her out Charles?" Continued Mrs. Frasier. "Yeah. I served her the divorce papers a bit ago. I think she took Pete to the hospital. Hope so anyway. He broke his ankle." "HE'S damned lucky if that's all he gets broke. We were afraid you'd break his neck or possibly shoot him. By the way, good job with dropping that tree. Never seen better." "Uh... thank you." "I'll bet you're already building a case of 'it was an accident during the standard falling of a tree' aren't you?" "Uh... yeah." I wasn't sure if I should be talking about any of this with Mrs. Frasier... make that Ol' lady Frasier. "It had more binding in the trunk than I thought at first. That's what made it spin like it did." 'Uh huh. You keep that straight face and tell it as much as you can young man... I've been around, I know you, and I know that there's not a soul around that's a better timber faller than you." "That's what I'm afraid of." "That's why the Judge wants to talk to you. He has some real important legal advice for you. I'm thinking he wants to keep you out of his system... you know he thinks the world of you Charles. So do I." "Thank you Ma'am." "Oh yeah, nice touch with the cat litter under those trucks too young man. I appreciate that you took pains to make sure oil and anti-freeze didn't go running down the drains." Blushing, I nodded my head. Mary was staring at me with undisguised awe. "You planned all of that?" Her question hung in the air as Ol' lady Frasier looked at me and burst out laughing. "Mary, Mary, Mary, I thought you knew. Charles here planned it all out, every step of the way. Pete breaking his ankle on his wild jump out the bedroom window was probably just pure luck, but everything else was planned down to the second." "Remind me to never get you pissed off at me Charlie." "It isn't that big of a deal Mary." "You could have fallen that tree on Pete while he was in his pickup... why didn't you?" "Like I told you... they aren't worth either of us going to jail for. They made their bed... so-to-speak and now they get to lie in their damned mess." "She really loved that truck Charlie." "Yeah Mary, she did. Evidently more than she loved me." Mrs. Frasier came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. "Guess we all forget how much you had invested in her Charles. I'm so sorry it turned out like this." "It's all right Mrs. Frasier..." "What did I just tell you? You can call me Ol' lady Frasier. I like it." "Okay Mrs.... I mean, Ol' lady Frasier." I blushed some more at the thought of calling her that name to her face. I wish I had never heard of it that way now. I was lucky she decided to accept it in a respectful tone, in spite of how it sounded. "I'd better get on up there and help the guys. There's a lot of log to be chopped down into firewood." "Son, they've already finished. Jed and Max were unloading the last of the final trailer full in my wood shed a bit ago. They're right quick when they want to be. Bet they could use a couple of beers about now though. Maybe you should offer to treat them down at the tavern." "Good idea Mrs.... ol' lady Frasier. I'll do that." "Charles, no matter what happens, you're a good man. Ain't none better. You hear me?" "Yes Ma'am. I hear you." I gave Mary and Ol' Lady Frasier hugs and headed out. Those beers tasted pretty good, considering. The guys all joked with me, making me cheer up in spite of the situation. They were good friends of the best kind. Max was certainly not at all like Pete either. What he'd said about someone switching Pete at birth with his real brother hit home. Many times I heard him say I was more like a brother than Pete ever had been. We'd grown up together, so there were years of hearing that now. I spent the next four nights alone. The old house seemed huge and empty. A friend of a friend had called Josh and told him that Chris was spending time with her parents. Her parents were not happy about the situation at all, but she was their only daughter... and blood is thicker than water. I wasn't surprised. The Judge called on me at home one night and we talked. He was concerned about my well being, in addition to wanting to tell me some legal things to do and not do. He didn't want me to end up in jail and I'd come mighty close to just that with the act of dropping that old tree where I had. He'd made some maneuvers on my behalf but he had to tell me the how's and whys so our stories stayed somewhat straight. Lightning and Chainsaws Don't misunderstand, he wasn't lying for me nor was he helping me to break the law. He just pointed out what I should say to avoid certain... things, how to word a few things to keep the wolves at bay, and how to approach my impending divorce. Two months later, after Chris's attorney got blindsided by the Judge at a hearing, the Judge got aggravated and pretty much shut the divorce proceeding down. After some time thinking about it, he reconvened the meeting and gave a decision that had my lawyer amazed and Chris's lawyer stunned. "I hereby by grant said divorce under the terms presented originally to this court. I grant said petition by Mr. Charles Masters with prejudice... and no, you can't appeal it Chris. You've been grandstanding for the last two months trying to stretch this out. I can only assume you are trying to get Charles to give up the divorce action against you. I can't agree with your tactics and I'm damn sick and tired of it on top of that. You did what you did and now you must realize it's time to pay the piper. Charles offered half of all marital assets and that's more than fair to my way of thinking." Chris's lawyer didn't expect the suddenness of the decision, and was caught off guard, but they soon got up to speed. "Your Honor, my client deserves more than that. She's been supportive of the marriage in the past and has..." "Young man, if you keep on I will find you in contempt of court. I will toss your punk ass in jail and I may throw away the key. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" "Uh... yes sir... your Honor sir." "Chris, I want a few words with you before you leave. Alone." The Judge looked sad as he spoke to Chris. We were all dismissed. I wondered what the Judge was going to discuss with Chris, but at that moment in time I just wanted to get the hell out of the courtroom and into the fresh outdoor air. ************************************************ "Chris, I'm not sure what you're trying to do here. I know you don't want the divorce, but can't you see that you flagrantly threw your affair with Pete in Charles' face? God Almighty young woman, you traded in a nice car for a pickup that looked exactly like his! What were you thinking?" Chris looked at the floor. She didn't know what to say to the Judge. She'd had the affair with this man's grandson and he was her husband's friend. She still didn't know what or how it all came to be. All she knew was that a little playful attraction had blown into a rather dangerous situation. Over the last months she'd been thinking, and trying to sort out in her head why she'd done this to her husband, and she had no answer other than 'just because she could'. And that didn't sit well with her sensibilities. She knew she'd screwed up. She also finally figured out she didn't have a way to fix things either. Now the Judge was chastising her in his chambers. At least he took it private and didn't keep it in the court room. There were way too many prying eyes and listening ears out there for her taste. Charles wouldn't look at her any more, and the few times he had looked at her reminded her of that day when her whole world tumbled down around her. Hearing and seeing that chainsaw bar blasting into the bedroom through the door had frightened her more than she could ever say. She'd thought Charlie was going to kill her... and strangely enough, she never really gave a second thought to Pete from that point on either. She'd taken him to the hospital in order to avoid Mary. She'd taken her husband's advice without question... knowing the whole time it was probably the last advice she'd ever get from him. Hearing Charlie calling her that name... skanky bitch... had crushed her soul. That pain still had yet to leave her heart too. She must have looked... so bad standing there naked with another man who was also naked... and that man was, or had been, her husband's best friend. She had been a skanky bitch. The pickup and how Charlie destroyed it... the little things Charlie had done for her over the years that she'd blown off as nothing, even Charlie's making sure Mary didn't get to her... all added up to a lot of foolish thoughts that she entertained on how this whole affair would go. She never dreamed that Charlie would find out. In her worst possible nightmare she assumed that if he found out, he'd be hurt and they'd have a hard time but they'd get their marriage back... didn't pan out like she'd thought it would either. She was still worried about where she'd find another job. Finding out that Mary owned the business and Pete was just an employee there shocked her to her core too. First, Pete and her working together in the same office wasn't a good thing... there were rules about what they'd been doing and they had both broken those rules. Secondly, her new boss, Mary made it very clear that she was going to be terminated as soon as possible, so Chris just quit on the spot, apologizing to Mary as she did. Charlie had always been that one person she could talk to about anything, and now... well, he wasn't there for her at all. Obviously. Lastly was the fact that all the events that morning had been live to everyone's TV and living rooms that day. The whole world had seen what transpired and it cut deep into her psyche. She'd had it all, and she gave it up for what? The sex with Pete wasn't all that great. She certainly didn't love him. She thought back to that day and seeing the coffee table Charlie had made for her. She had loved that table. True, she never really showed it by the way she never took care of it, but the fact that Charlie had built it for her, taking the time and patience to do such a thing totally out of love for her had touched her deeply. Chris thought about it and realized she figured that Charlie would always be there for her, and so, since that was a 'truth', she could treat the things he gave her any way she wanted, since he'd always be there to fix them or make or buy new things for her. He knew she loved him... right? She'd been so selfish. She'd let him down. She'd let all of them down. Her family, Charles and his family, the Judge and his family... worst of all, Ol' lady Frasier. That old woman had talked to Chris like an adult for years before she had been one. Now she wouldn't talk to her much at all. Chris could remember the disappointed look on Mrs. Frasier's face when she'd seen her in the grocery store after that day. She'd been there with the Judge and they'd both stayed away from her like she had some sort of contagious disease. It cut Chris to the bone to see that look on her face. All for some excitement with Charles' best friend. A best friend, who once he had her sexually, began to deride his 'best friend' every time they met. A best friend who led his friend's wife down a merry path to destruction, and then just dumped her like it was all her fault. Looking back, Chris now realized that love was something she took for granted when given, but didn't really think much about when giving. Just how precious it truly was had hit her only after she'd stomped it out of existence. ************************************************* I sat back on the porch of the cabin. Josh had owned this cabin for years, and right after my house sold, and Chris and I settled our divorce, he'd offered it to me. I knew about the cabin, of course, but during the title transfer I found out about the seven hundred acres of land that was going with it. "Josh," I'd said to him. "Have you lost your mind? This place is worth one hell of a lot more than seventy-two thousand dollars you offered it to me for. Seven hundred acres? This isn't right... no way, no how. People will think that you were losing it, going senile or something when I bought it from you. They'll think I took advantage of an old defenseless man." "Hey now... you wait a minute sonny boy." Josh testily replied. "First of all, you know as well as I do that I'm all there in my head. Ain't nothing wrong with my thinking. Secondly, I can sell my property for any price I choose and to whomever I desire to too. Thirdly, I already turned down three offers from developers for a lot more money than what I offered it to you for. The reason you're getting it for this price is because I know you son. I've known you all your life. I know you won't sell it to some developer who will then turn it into some kind of housing complex, cutting down all the trees and making it...'modern'. I know you will take care of it and that you understand what it is I really want for this property." "Josh, you know this property is worth millions... you know that." "Only to some developer type. It's priceless to you or someone like you, right?" "Well of course, but..." "But nothing young man. Its price to you is one I know you can afford. Its price locks in the fact that no damned developer will ever get their hands on it and ruin it. Besides, I truly like that you sold your house to the couple you did. They're right nice. You could have sold it for a bit more to that other guy... so why didn't you?" "You know why. That guy is an asshole. He was just out to turn a profit on the place and he figured that I needed out of it as soon as possible due to the divorce. He was right to an extent... I did want the damned divorce settled as quickly as I could get it settled." "So, you could have sold it for a hell of a lot more money yet you chose to let it go to that young couple with the two kids. Why?" "Because they reminded me of a time when life was better and I wanted to help them. I trust them to do the right thing with the place...oh... I see now." "Yep... I always knew you were sharper than most gave credit for Charlie. You take care of the place, ya hear?" It is nice and quiet up here. I can look down the mountain and see the whole valley, the lights of the city, and even my old neighborhood. I added a hot tub to one side of the cabin, and in the process a nice deck too. With the other additions I'd made it was now more than a cabin... but I will always refer to it as 'the cabin'. I added a garage separate from the cabin, but with a covered walkway. With that, the old hip roofed barn and the shop, I had a nice place to live and kick back. The corral added a nice rustic touch to the place and I'd fixed it up to a usable condition. I was even boarding six horses for some of the city folks down below. They had seven hundred acres of private riding grounds and then of course a whole forest of National Park land just behind that. I still work for the same company, doing the same thing... cruising timber sales and running logging crews. My taking in those six horses was turning into a nice income too. Josh still comes up to see me once in a while on the weekends, as does the Judge and Mrs. Frasier. Of course my old buddies do too. I haven't seen Chris since we signed the papers, and to be quite honest I do miss her. I truly do. I don't miss what happened and wish it could all go away, but in the end, life's lessons sometimes are un-forgiving and hard to cope with. I started dating a nice gal after some real careless dating time. She's a keeper and I've been giving some thought to actually doing that. Keeping her, that is. I'm still a bit gun shy about being this close to someone, but she's working on breaking my barriers down quite nicely. Even while she's at work I can see her since she's all over the TV most days. That's right... the TV reporter who was there that day I felled the old tree kind of caught my attention. It was a while later and a whole lot of lessons learned too, but she interviewed me for a story that was being done about logging. I asked her out and the rest is, as they say, history. She has a still shot of that old tree lying across those two pickups. It's been on the internet, used in several jokes on TV series, and even used in some funny cards for birthdays and the like. She managed to sell the rights to it pretty well. I still get a chuckle out of Josh whenever he comes to visit and sees it framed on the fireplace mantle. That's because the picture frame for it is made out of wood from that tree. Instead of the usual shotgun or other clap trap that hangs over the mantle, the Jonsered saw hangs above it in a place of honor. I never use it to actually cut anything any more, and I haven't since that day. Jessica knows it still works though. I've started it up a couple of times just funning around with her. She gets a look once in a while and shudders. I've asked her about that, and all she'll say is that she never knew just how well that saw could cut wood. She also mentions time to time that Chris was really stupid to go where she did like she did too. I'd have to agree with her. After all, Chris lost a damn fine pickup and ended up with... well... not quite nothing, but she don't have me any more, and I know that bothers the hell out of her. Jessica, on the other hand, is happy and secure in the knowledge that I'm a one woman man. Always have been, always will be. I've had some experience with what life can be like when one isn't faithful. If you look real hard you will see some stains on the wood in that old picture frame. Oil and anti-freeze can soak into even green wood pretty well. I made sure as I built and coated the frame that I left the stains there. Kind of 'rounds' things out wouldn't you say? I know it helps keep my mind on the important things in life.