42 comments/ 65115 views/ 16 favorites Law of the Heart: Defence By: waratah This ending picks up close to the end of the original story, after Jill finally confessed in Jake's office and he agrees reluctantly to move home. I recommend that anyone contemplating my modest offering read or re read the great "Law of the Heart" before proceeding. I'll preface story with an apology, I'm neither a lawyer nor an American, so there will no doubt be some jargon and geography errors, along with a few "Australianisms" for a story set in Boston and Florida. I hope the meaning is still clear and you don't find it too distracting. Edit – I've been through and found a few too many typos etc, so I've fixed the glaring ones. I've resisted the temptation to change a few details to reflect some sensible comment though this is still the original concept, with its flaws. ******* Two days after I moved back Jill thanked me for coming home. "Don't thank me, thank little Jake." She made sure that was the last time I saw her cry, for a while anyway. Being a loving husband, it was my habit to be upset when Jill was upset, I still cared about her enough to be distressed at her distress. But I was suspicious of her apology, was she sorry it had happened, or just sorry I knew. The images of her wantonly pulling Juan into her room receded, to be replaced by an obsession with her initial lack of respect for us afterwards. I couldn't work out how to broach it. It was great to see Jake Jnr again, and I spent most of my free time with him. Sleeping in the spare room/Jill's office was traumatic too, this room was earmarked for our next child, and our dream was a little girl. I'd cry to myself each morning as fresh depression washed over me. Both our families and all our friends said I was just destined to be a great Dad. The heart ache nearly led me to tell Jill that it was over each and every morning. Jill and I did our work around each other. She gave me a lot of space, was without exception polite, and attentive. Always calling my by the familiar endearments, even when it was obvious they would not be returned. I slept surprisingly well, I seemed to calm through the day, ready for another bad morning. Jill didn't look so well, her face looked pale, lined and she looked to be losing weight. I was getting a preview of what she would look like at fifty. We survived like this for around ten days before Jill finally had enough of being the passive guilty wife, and decided to take the initiative. I started to avoid thinking about the whole sorry business through the day, and allowed myself to meditate on the details after dinner. Wednesday evening I was reflecting again on Jill's alleged regrets, by this time I was well and truly leaning toward accepting her mistake in Florida, she had been targeted by a Pro. There were other things that made my stomach tight, the strong suspicion that she would have gone back for more. And the persistent image of her phoning me the next day while being fucked by one of them. Could I live with that image? Jill had been the best thing that ever happened to me, Could I live without her? What was best for Little Jake? Come on Jake, get a grip. About to give up for the day, again, when Jill came in and sat beside me on the couch. I rose to leave as I had all week, when she gently reached for my arm, and asked quietly. "Jake, sweetheart, don't go yet, can we talk, just for 10 minutes? Please?" I had no solutions myself, so stayed sitting to hear her out. "Please don't freeze me out darling, you'd be within your rights to yell at me, hit me if you must, but I can't handle you ignoring me. You moved back home, so I'm assuming that there is some hope that you can love me again. Can I request you let us talk about it? There would be no commitment, just a sign you're giving us a chance." I answered slowly "I said I still loved you….always have loved you….always will love you…..And that's why this so fucking hard" "Well is there any chance you can forgive me, we have to communicate, unless there is no chance at all." I had no answer to this, yet, so Jill persevered "I've been to visit with a psychologist, sort of marriage counselling for one" Oh great I though, just fucking great, my anger tends to manifest as heavy sarcasm. "Lemme guess, you want me to go too so I can get over my unreasonable attitude." "No, there was no talk of you attending yet, it is clearly my responsibility. She did suggest that I need to take the lead though. I don't want to box you in, but I need some sign from you, for my mental health's sake if nothing else. Jake, we need to communicate, this won't fix itself. I would really appreciate if you could give me 10 or 15 minutes……or perhaps 14 minutes." This did not seem to require a response from me, as a lawyer, you soon learn don't answer unasked questions. I waited. "My psychologist, Denise, but she looks a lot like Judge Judy, so I think of her as Judy, well anyway, Judy, Denise I mean, suggested that a good start might be if I identified the ways I'd let you down, sort of break it down into pieces, and then see where the real problem for us lies. I need your help to do that." Jill had a notebook and pen with her, and she laid that on her lap and writing carefully, so that I could see what she wrote 1. Betrayed Jake in Florida. Paused for a minute, and below it wrote 2. Gave Juan more that I give Jake If that was intended to draw a response it worked, "Could you elaborate please Jill?" "I betrayed your trust, that's self explanatory, and you've already guessed I did things for Juan that I have told you I wouldn't do for you, and I regret how much that would upset you." "What things Jill, lets communicate for a minute, explain to me the things that you did for him…them." "Well we are supposed to write out all the issues before we explore them, but since you ask so explicitly. The things I remember you wanting were….I sucked him in my mouth…..I let him cum there….and I swallowed…and something you've never asked, but may have wanted, I cleaned him after he had been inside me. I will add that I had more to drink than I normally do, I did not let him in my rear, he tried, and I did not know that he swapped with Hector." Silence while I analysed this. Putting aside the images, I could see that the pathetic apologies were missing, that was an improvement. Complete openness was back, that was also an improvement. I could work with this approach, especially as I had no strategy of my own. But she'd left several things off her list. Jill sensed an interest on my part and grasped the opportunity. "Does this seem like a way forward, how is my list, darling?" There was even a hesitant smile. "There is a bit missing." "Tell me and I'll write it down, I can try to fix things when I know whats wrong." "Well your 1 and 2 are right, but they should be the last things on the list, not the first, so new number 1. You had too little respect for me, for us, or you were too dishonest, or cowardly, or both, or all of the above, to confess your behaviour, even after I asked, begged, threatened, and even offered amnesty, forgiveness if you will, if you would only fess up." I paused for breath. "You don't have to write all of that." She wrote 1. Late confession "Not late confession, Jill, no confession, nothing, nada, nyet, zip…..until you were 100% sure I already knew and there was no way out, that is not a confession." She corrected the entry. "Anything else?" "Number 2. I continue to believe you would have gone back for some more amazing Hispanic sex, had I not convinced you, finally, that I knew what happened." "That's not true Jake, there is no way….OK OK, issues first" and she wrote down Number 4 Jake believes I would have been unfaithful again. "Anything else?" "Yes, number 3, my wife was a slut for my enemy…no hang on that's not right, my wife was a slut for my enemies. Hello…. Jill…. snookums…. hello….aren't you suppose to be writing these pearls of wisdom down." Jill was looking down at her pad waiting to write what I said. Since she'd returned from Florida, I'd obviously been cold, and at our meeting in my office I'd spoken harshly to her in the heat of the moment, but this must have seemed calm calculated cruelty. And it was. There was a long period of silence, her shoulders sagged, a tear dripped onto the pad before she wrote out what I'd said. Jill breathed deeply, regained her composure, and then turned to steadily look me in the eyes and asked "OK, that's self explanatory, anything else?" "Sure is, honey, did our…did my friends know you being a slut for those men?" "Some of our friends know I behaved inappropriately." "And do we trust Juan to be discrete about his conquest?" "No, I don't have high expectations of his discretion." "Write this then …Number 4. My friends know you were a slut for my enemies….looks like I'm going to need to find some new friends…that's a bit of a jolly old pain in the old rectum, what?" Again a brief pause while she summoned the composure to write this, but there no tears this time. "Anything else?" "No, put what you already had as numbers 5 and 6, that about covers it, unless you can tell me how I could even contemplate competing with amazing, Now you be a sweetheart and fix those up and I'll forgive you in a heartbeat. We can even start making another baby." "Jake, I can't just fix them, you know that, but I want to try and make this as right for you as I can." Jill was quiet for a moment, organising her thoughts, "Jake, a lot, perhaps even most, of the people you represent made a mistake, didn't they? And they are entitled to a day in court, a chance to explain their reasons, plea for clemency. Aren't they? That is something I know you feel strongly on." I thought about this, I could see where she was going, but could see no way of avoiding the question "That is true." "Can't I have the same opportunity? Doesn't a public defender's wife, even if she was a slut, deserve a chance to present a defence?" "Jill, there isn't a court in the land that wouldn't find you guilty." "But its still contemplating what my sentence will be? Isn't it? If you were my defence counsel, you'd make sure I had an opportunity to demonstrate remorse, convince you that I will never make such a mistake again." "What do you want me to do, give you a trial, for fuck sake Jill, you do understand you're guilty?" "No Jake, I'm not looking for a trial, just a fair sentencing, after hearing my story, without name calling." While I contemplated this, I asked "Oh by the way do you think Susan knew that two of them were going to take turns on you." "Nooo, she wouldn't do that, no way" "You loyalty is admirable, wish I received the same, but why don't you ask her." "It might be a problem talking to Susan right now, but if you want me too I will." In spite of venting my spleen, I could feel that going through the list had helped, I could see how my love, trust and the very foundation of my life had been shattered, and more importantly so could Jill. There was a formidable amount of homework generated from that little list. Maybe too much homework. Was she willing to try? It was fair that she did most of the work, but it was also fair that I soften a little. "Jill," politely "Yes Jake." Absently, sadly. "I am sorry for my language just then, I'm sorry I called you a slut, it was…..unprofessional" Jill responded with a weak smile. "That's very decent of you to say that Jake, I'm sorry for it too, but I do deserve it, and I did ask you to stop ignoring me. But it is so fucking hard to think straight when I hear you calling me things like that. I'm…just….so…sad for what I've turned you into." We were silent for a minute, then Jill tried again. "I did say to yell at me, or whatever, but for say 1 hour can you see your way clear to give me a chance, hear my story, without attacking me. Jake, I believe we legal types call it due process." Did I mention she was clever, I'm sure I did, the cunning vixen was appealing to a very important part of my being, only loyalty to my family rated higher to me. "Ok, I guess that's in order, when? How? Now?" "No, I need time to prepare my thoughts, a submission, is tomorrow night good for you." "Yes, tomorrow is fine" "Thank you Jake, if you can just give me one hour, I think I can surprise you honey." "The last month has brought more than enough surprises, Jill." "Hopefully you will like these surprises." And with that she leant over to give me sweetest, gentlest, chaste little kiss on the cheek, I could even feel her eyelashes moving in my hair. I so badly wanted to wrap her in a bear cuddle and tell her every thing was going to be fine, and she stayed close enough for long enough for that to happen, but I pulled away. I wasn't going down that path until the evidence had been heard. I could however bring myself to wish her good night, and I went to prepare for bed. Jill asked if we could switch rooms tonight so she could use her office to start to prepare her submission. I drifted off with the familiar and intimate smell of her still on the sheets and pillows. At some time through the night I vaguely sensed Jill in the bed beside me, holding my arm, but she was gone when I woke, already busy with her chores. Next morning we actually worked well together, instead of just doing our thing in parallel, and in spite of what must have been very little sleep Jill looked more rested and fresher that she had for 2 weeks. I left for work, feeling better than I had since Florida, we had a joint goal. That night Jill suggested I go play with Little Jake, then go for a walk, and when I returned, tired but calm, I had a shower, enjoyed a rare cold beer with dinner, Jill had Little Jake ready for me to put him to bed. Jill joined me later, asked where I wanted to consider her story. I moved to the kitchen table, Jill, moved to sit beside me, but I motioned for her to sit across from me, I wanted to watch her face. Jill had her notebook, and a folder with some documents. Jill was dressed in her 'office attire', which I found utterly nonsexual. That was a nice touch. Professional. She was ready. Jill began to speak formally "Its customary to offer character witness reports in these circumstances, I offer none. However it is my fervent hope that my husband will support me fully once he sees how genuinely I face up to my actions. I present my first item, if I may, or exhibit A if you wish, being a written commitment to our marriage vows." Jill handed me a single page with the well remembered vows that we had chosen together. Jill had signed them, Committed! signed Jill Louise Chandler. She continued speaking to the document. "The defendant has had plenty of time to contemplate the consequences of failure in this regard, has had the shattering insight of the hurt to her husband and to their union such a betrayal causes. And considers no wife on earth will have stronger commitment hence forth than she." Well that was an interesting opening, a bit like a big bunch of flowers I guess. I took it and scanned it, putting it aside, being careful to appear attentive and respectful. Jill deserved a hearing and I would see she got it. Jill waited patiently, I noticed for the first time her hands trembling slightly, and how pale she looked again. She asked for an accelerated sentencing. Due process could be a tough bitch at times. "Exhibit B Is the report of a medical test the defendant had done after returning from Florida, showing her all clear for bacterial sexually transmitted diseases, and indicating a rescheduled consultation for further tests in 4-5 months, it is my expectation that in spite of a reputation to the contrary, the men she had unprotected sex with were careful with their choice of partners." I noticed how Jill was speaking in the third person at times, a mechanism to limit the stress; I had used the same mechanism when she originally confessed. I read this exhibit in more detail, confirming dates, and results which were negative, and which were TBA. I found myself agreeing with her assumptions regarding the Menendez habits, they weren't stupid. Amoral certainly, but not stupid. "Exhibit C is a copy of my personal and business e-mail passwords, with the commitment that those passwords will only be changed with the permission of my husband, and my invitation to him to access my e-mail accounts at any time he wishes, and further to listen in any or all phone calls. My phone records will be submitted to my husband routinely as they arrive. It will also be my practice to report any conversation or event that has the any potential to be misunderstood at the first available time. Please note that I see it as my responsibility, my burden, to make sure you know where I am, and who I'm with at all times. There will not be the need for you to invest time in this regard, unless you wish." "Exhibit D is a copy of all e-mails with all Florida based acquaintances, ending with one to my former friend Susan, three days ago, inviting her to not contact me in any way, and my last one, passing on your question last night." The first e-mail read; Susan, I made a dreadful mistake in Florida, then and since you proved you are no true friend. Until there is room in your life to embrace my family, there is no room in my life for you. Please don't contact me again until this is the case. Jill "Has Susan complied with this request?" "No she hasn't, but I have tried to enforce it. There has been one phone call in response, where she accused the defendant of being two faced and disloyal, she also took the opportunity to denigrate the defendant's husband. I can report that the defendant became most upset and embellished this e-mail with passion, and again invited her to leave me alone." Fortunately for Jill this was in broad agreement with the phone call I had partially overheard a couple of evenings ago, including a memorably passionate "well at least Jake doesn't have to get me drunk for me to have sex with him". I would read the rest with interest after hearing the rest of Jill's submission. Jill added "There has been no response to your last question, and I assume it was rhetorical, so did not intend to follow it up." "Very well, anything more." "Yes", I could see this one really bothered Jill, she was briefly becoming emotional again, but regained her composure and continued, "Exhibit E, is a complete and detailed account of the activities that occurred in Florida on the weekend in question. The defendant begs you to note that it is an upsetting document, and also respectfully requests that you consider carefully when and indeed whether to read it, that it not introduce too much emotion into the sentencing process. I advise that the writing of this document was ……incredibly……distressing. But I assure you it is the truth, the full sordid truth…………and nothing but the truth………..Jake, So help me." She had faded to a whisper, and I briefly watched Jill's tears, tears with no sound. I was becoming detached, a judge I was learning must keep his thought processes clear. I offered Jill 5 minutes to regain her composure. There were no further exhibits …but Jill asked if she could add a verbal statement before I asked my questions. Law of the Heart: Defence "My husband has accused me of being a slut for his enemies, and lowering the opinion his friends have for him…for us. That is an upsetting, and proven claim. I can't undo it, the best I can offer is to reinforce to him his role as my husband and only lover in every possible way. And to show I has devoted myself to our union, and to re-earning his trust. I was a stupidly and drunkenly a slut for some evil men for one night. In 14 years I forgot my husband only once, for 6 perhaps 8 hours, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. My husband alone will be responsible for defining the limits of those demonstrations." "Why isn't that written down?" "If your honour would be gracious enough to reread exhibit A I believe I've anticipated his honours question." I reread the wedding vows as requested, what was she talking about, there it was, the vows now included the older style obey. "Jake, I hope you don't think this a tacky offer, and I've kept my submission as professional as I thought you would like them, but I'm offering you anything you want. Anything. But apart from the offer to satisfy all your bedroom wishes, there was a more noble intention, I felt that it would be easier for you to learn to trust me again, if you felt confident that I will always be where you want me to be, doing what you want me to be doing." "Very well, I have some questions." Time to get back to the crime. "Yes your honour." "Has the defendant considered the possibility of becoming pregnant from these events?" Jill eyes filled again. "She has your honour; the defendant obtained and took morning after pills as soon as possible." "Next question, at what time would the defendant have confessed this infidelity to her husband, were he not made aware of it independently." Jill found this one tough as well. "Never. Jake. I resolved the next day to keep this from you. I understand now how badly that has magnified the offence, but it was the call I made then." "Third question, which you may have included in you confession, what is the defendant's suggestion for future involvement with acquaintances in Florida, and elsewhere?" "That would be entirely up to my husband. If he does forgive me, he will need more courage than I to face those acquaintances. I might add that I believe he has that courage, even though he doubts it himself." "Has the defendant any suggestions regarding a suitable punishment?" "Not really your honour, unless, do you mean that her husband commit a potential infidelity of his own….obviously the defendant is in no position to protest that action. Your honour the defendant has advised me that any punishment to court deems appropriate will not be appealed against. Perhaps the court should instruct her husband to put the slut over his knee and get it over and done with …but that's just a personal opinion." This made me smile, with an answering smile from Jill, the first time we'd exchanged any look of intimacy for 3 weeks. "Order in court, I'll not tolerate that sort of language, defence counsel will remember where she is and moderate her behaviour." "Sorry you're honour." It didn't sound sincere. I backtracked quickly, cursing my lapse into intimacy, it was unprofessional, and unfair to Jill to get her hopes up like that at this time. "Any closing statement" "Firstly I wish to thank the court for its patience to date, even if the sentence requires me to leave my husband, I am grateful for the chance to put my case. Secondly I am human, I made a huge mistake in Florida, and an even bigger one on my return when I failed to beg forgiveness. I was ashamed, and scared, and that's what led me to deceive my husband. I made a mistake, and thought, hoped, prayed that it would all go away if I pretended it never happened. I know my husband is concerned that I failed to rule out a repeat visit with sufficient vigour, but I swear now, that it would not have happened, that is a hard claim to substantiate as it involves understanding my inner thoughts, but I think my actions in seeking a medical examination, my seeking morning after pills, and not going back on the pill. And my commitment to total honesty since the afternoon in you office when I confessed…admitted fully to the infidelity, I have demonstrated my intention to not reoffend. I apologise if that message wasn't relayed with sufficient vigour, but has been the defendant cast iron intention never to be in that situation again." "That leads me to an additional question…you are not currently on the pill?" "No Jake! I have always discussed my contraception arrangements with you, and I always will." A hint of irritation here, she'd have to watch that if she ever became a courtroom lawyer "I would never do something like that without consulting you, you know that. Baby you must believe that. I did obtain a prescription to restart, but I haven't started, and I would not have started without discussing it with you…. you can call my doctor, search my handbag, anything…..its true." "Why did you get the prescription then?" "When you were so cold, I was worried you may have suspected something, and might even find out, I you had, and decided to keep me, I wanted us to have the option of us focussing on us for a while, but only after discussing it with you. I still have the intact packet if you want to see it." Her passion here was un-mistakable, and I believed her, besides I wouldn't find anything in her handbag that's for sure, I'm convinced there was still the stubs from the first movie we went to see in there. "That won't be necessary. There being no further questions, I will now break to consider your submissions." Time for Ol' Jake to commit something as well. "You will have an answer in 1 hour. Thank you for the time and effort you put in to you submission." "Thank you, your honour, Jake" barely audible. As I left for the office, without the courage to look again at Jill. I now had one hour to make the biggest decision of my life. Shit, I hated making decisions. Stop and think Jake, get a grip. Dad had always said take a minute to plan your decision. He's also said if two options were so close that you can't decide, then it won't matter which way you go 'cause they are both good, or both shitty, options. As I sat in our spare room, Jill had offered a very intelligent response to a lot of my concerns, anticipated some, and presented some imaginative options. She had surprised me, I had no idea Jill wanted to be married to me so badly. Or was it the thought of life as a discarded adulteress the motive. The other thing Dad had said, he always talked with my mother before making a big decision, couldn't get into too much trouble that way. I've always discussed big decisions with Jill, I needed her for this, damn it, I needed her here to ask the questions she always did in these situations. After 10 minutes, I'd made a decision. A cop out decision, a typical Jake decision, I would let the evidence decide, I would read the confession and let it decide for me. If it agreed with what I knew and deduced, I would look Jill in the eye, lie, and tell her I forgave her. I would spend the rest of my life trying to make that lie the truth. If however she had failed to take this chance to come clean, I would break three hearts, seek shared custody of Little Jake and get on with my life. Bracing myself, I poured a large whiskey, settled into Jill's work chair and read. Where it related events that I had observed, it agreed as closely as two people's memories reasonably could. The descriptions of what she did later in the room varied from explicit enough, to vague, she admitted to being fairly intoxicated, and admitted to being passed out with exhaustion, or passion at times so couldn't relate some of the experience. The realisation and embarrassment on waking "naked, messy and sore" and finding Juan (or was it Hector) beside her were vivid, and I felt for her at reading how shattered she was. It was comforting to read her claim that she'd denied Juan, or was it Hector a farewell fuck. Her decision to gloss over the events, and later her reaction to my coldness was traumatic to read. The possibility of re-offence was not cleared up, it never could be, but you can't convict someone on a suspicion. It read like the truth. This confession could never truly address the possibility of re-offence. Being honest with myself I felt the most likely scenario was that Jill had agreed to meet Juan again at some stage during that night, and had worked since to renege on that agreement. If only she had asked for help I thought sadly. But both those suspicions were unsubstantiated. In the absence of evidence to the contrary a decision was made, the statements supported the facts and the sentence would follow accordingly. No contempt for this judgement would be tolerated. I had 12 minutes left, I savoured a second whiskey, slumped back and contemplated Little Jake having two parents. That was good, I smiled, the court had made the correct decision. I also contemplated Jill doing her best to make amends. That sounded good too. I smiled again. The possibilities. I could live with this. I walked back out into the living room, Jill was waiting on the couch, she had changed into one of her light cotton dresses, one she knew I liked. She was ready to celebrate, or maybe give me a subtle reminder of what I may have decided to lose. Jill was trying not to look anxious. This meant a lot to her, I had been surprised at the direction, and lack of boundaries in her submission. I sat beside her, placed my arm over her shoulders. "Never again?" "Never again, Jake." "You won't want to be here, I just couldn't………" and I broke down breifly" "Never again, Jake." "Jill, please go back onto the pill…" "Yes Jake." "….'cause we've got some serious mending to do." Jill sagged against me "Do you mean that Jake?" And then knelt beside me and we hugged, tight. Jesus Christ, how close to losing this had we come? Jill whispered, "You won't regret this, ever, I'll never cause us this pain again. I promise you." The after hugging me tightly again she took my face in her hands, the sort of gesture she had made when she told me she was pregnant. "Jake, I had hoped to hear that you forgave me." "I forgive you." It was easier to lie than I thought it would be. Could it be the truth? Jill moved onto my lap, pulled my face across to hers and kissed me, first on the lips, then between them. "And will Mr Jake Edward Chandler be sharing his bed with his with his wife this evening?" "Yes he certainly will." "And is it Mr Chandler's desire to fuck his wife witless this evening?" "That would be highly desirable, however would that be wise given the above mentioned wife's fertility status?" "It is the above mentioned wife's opinion that it will be fine, however, obviously though that minor risk is her husband's call." And we walked into the bedroom together. Jill's dress and underwear seemed to dissolve before my eyes, and then mine as well, not as elegantly. The room was clean, new sheets, flowers on both side of the bed, I liked those flowers. The lights dimmed, but enough so that I could see Jill was in the centre of the bed, the sheets pulled up to her neck, looking that way at me. We cuddled and caressed, and a little later she wriggled down to suck me, the first time since the night I'd proposed. And no 'yuck' this time either. She paused briefly to say "I know I virtually said you can cum anywhere you like, but just this time would you as a special favour, can the first one be inside me, please?" "You didn't virtually say it Jill" "I should have known better, being married to a lawyer shouldn't I?" She continued sucking me, about 1 minute later I said, "OK Jill I'm close" she quickly lay back, with her legs pulled up and wide, opening her cunt, and cheeks. I mounted her and pushed in. God she was wet. And I told her so. God that felt good; And I told her that too. In 4 plunges I was hilted, and my balls were mixed up there amongst her arse. Jill gasped out "Oh yes, that's the spot, I've missed you so much …and I've missed you too Jake " and soon after "Jake, fill me, please fill me deep" which I duly did, fully. I collapsed on top of her while she gently squeezing those wonderful hips and thighs to make my afterglow complete. Jill hadn't cum, but she looked pretty content. The old Jill had usually liked to jump out of bed quickly after sex and pee and wash and wipe before returning for her cuddle. I found it irritating, it ruined the intimacy of the moment when she left. I really enjoyed a post coital cuddle. New Jill remained lying under me and our juices coated our thighs. "What about you?" "Worry about me later, just feeling you pump inside me was enough for now, you know it felt like it tripled in size. I hope I was right about my cycle." And she giggled. And then in a little girl voice "Jakey, what made you decide to take me back?" "Hands down winner, daylight second, would just have to be having my very own little slut for the next 40 years." She giggled against my neck. And the tightening of her stomach finally pushed my softened cock out of her and there was a charming sloppy little pussy fart. "What about the idea of putting me over your knee, didn't that do any good?" And she wriggled around, laying across my legs presenting her delightful and juicy arse. I gave her 20 moderately hard smacks, and said "I could learn to enjoy this, get use to it dear." When I was done she wriggled around again and said "could you learn to enjoy this too" and sucked me again. "Absolutely I could" But it proved to be an afterplay, rather than foreplay, I was drained, in all ways, and Big Jake wouldn't come back out and play. If Jill wanted 6 loads again, she'd have to go to Florida. We drifted off the sleep, nude, with me spooning a naked, messy and content wife. I woke next morning early, to Jill again sucking me hard, Big Jake wanted to play this morning. And this time when I warned her, she just gripped my hips, and then I gripped her hair, plunged deep and exploded. I honestly lost track of what happened to it. She waited till I softened, smiled up at me, and said "It will be my mission to make you glad you took me back." I took a while to get use to having absolute authority over Jill, she didn't once baulk at any decisions or instructions I made, it meant no arguments or discussion on mundane things, and we could both concentrate on our marriage. The sexual side was just getting better and better, I had expected that Jill would be passively accepting of what I wanted but she obviously interpreted her promise to make me happy to include surprising me with what we came to call extras in all sort of ways. Jill's period arrived soon, but we found alternatives, and I tried anal sex for the first time. Jill came while we did, but I could tell it was the least favoured of the extras, so I did it sparingly. A few days later Jill dropped Little Jake at neighbours place for the evening, met me at the door with a fond kiss, nude, and shaved. With out indicating anything was unusual she took my briefcase and put it away, and sat me in my arm chair, knelt and removed my shoes and socks, and placed a drink on the table. After dinner we celebrated access to her pussy again. I had asked for leave the next week, and told Jill on Sunday. We got Little Jake to my sisters for a couple of days then her mums place for another couple of days. Monday we didn't even dress, lay in bed most of the day and Jill made me cum 4 times. Tuesday I was trashed, so I pleaded off my morning head job, and we slept, breakfasted lightly, then slept again, then went to town for lunch. Jill wore the light cotton dress, the sway of those wonderful breasts indicated that the usual bra was missing. After lunch, Jill went coy and asked me to come into a jewellers shop to help her buy something. I hate buying jewellery, but humoured her. Jill had previously selected a simple, bracelet, with a large plate on it and wanted my help to decide what to write on it Oh crap, more decisions. I stalled, and then asked her what she had in mind. Jill took my hand in her two, and stepped very close, I could feel her lower tummy and she smiled as I became aware of the lack of any underwear. My exhausted libido of last night was returning. "What about Fuck me, Big Jake?" She laughed "That might cause a stir at her meetings, and what if I ran into another Jake? But it is up to you, or maybe we could have "Jake's wife". Or maybe just "Jake's" or our wedding date, or "Jill loves Jake". "We'll go with "Jill loves Jake" The jeweller needed only 5 minutes to engrave that so we waited He solemnly adjusted the bracelet around her right wrist and clicked it into a small lock under the plate. He then offered Jill two tiny keys in a plastic bag. Jill asked him to give them both to me. And again taking my hand in hers, again against her abdomen calmly said "I can't take this off to go swimming can I dear?" The rest of the week was intense lovemaking, by Friday Jill had to apologise and say her cunt was too raw, and would it be OK if I settled for her mouth or arse again for a few days? Dear oh dear the sacrifices we men have to make sometimes. ******* One month after her sentence was announced our intimacy was strong, I was learning to trust her, Jill always told me in detail where she was. I found out that Juan never made it to Boston to have another crack at her. Must have got busy. Strange, I did hear that there was a surprisingly detailed IRS audit of the Menandez books. It generated a lot of work and embarrassment for the Menandez brothers. Did I mention what branch of law Jill specialised in? No. Must have slipped my mind. She does have a few friends in high places. Or he maybe he found that a seasoned Boston Public defender has a wide circle of contacts – friends in low places if you will. I did mention I would need some new friends didn't I? I redesigned our work hours, Jill now worked an extra day a week, I now work three and a half days per week and devote more time to Jake Junior and my personal improvement plan. My goal is to be the sort of man Juan would avoid. I rationalised this internally, I felt I had been pretty giving and generous, so I allowed this one petty sentiment. I now do two sessions a week in the Gym, and three sessions of karate per week. Sensei Paul is an American-Japanese by product of our occupation of Okinawa. Sensei Paul is lean, calm and incredible fit. He has been instructing Karate for something like thirty five years. He drives me hard. ******** Four months later I've lost my spare tyre, gained some posture, some pecs, and some lats. Jill said I now looked sculptured, not moulded.I said that's good, now I want to look chiselled. I seem to command more respect from police and defendants these days. Paul took me aside one morning before training and confessed while he admired my drive he was worried that I had dishonourable motives, was I training for revenge. If so he would have to kill me. Just joking he said. Ha ha ha. But he needed to know. "No Sensei, I'm not training for revenge." "What then?" Sensei Paul became the only person I had told about witnessing most of Jill's adultery. I also explained what sort of men Juan and Hector were, how it was inevitable that we would find ourselves in their company again, and I needed to be able to carry myself with some confidence. Paul had drummed into me that only life and honour were worth fighting for, for all other issues our inner strength allowed us to turn the other cheek with dignity. Paul now honoured me with his trust and support. He thought briefly, then nodded. "I think I can help you." he said simply. Law of the Heart: Defence Paul introduced some subtle grips and techniques into my training, he didn't have a name for them, I consider them a little sneaky, sort of social tricks. He stated that he could teach me things like how to cripple a mans wrist while appearing to shake his hand with two hands. Sensei Paul also suggested Jill should learn some self defence, we now train together twice a week, and have a separate day each, to focus on our particular needs. Its not like she didn't need the exercise either, working nearly full time was making a real dent in her fitness programme. ******** Six months after sentencing. The affect of this little saga rippled through our circle of friends and colleagues via a series of small but persistent rumours. My antennae was finely tuned, I kept in touch with a few people I normally didn't. The ripples didn't always tell the truth, well not the full truth anyway, Jill's behaviour was variously reported incredulously as dirty dancing, drunken stripping, adultery, rape, and a non event involving slapping Juan's face. That was closely followed by another report of Juan's boasting of his conquest, then another asking was it was true that Jill didn't think Susan was so special anymore. Yet another that I'd divorced Jill. And another that I'd forgiven her. There was also a vague report of an incident at a night club, where a women who sounded very like Susan, drunk so could well have been her, throwing her drink over Juan, or was it Hector, accounts varied. And screeching that he was a rapist, or was it a drink spiker? Again accounts varied. Our relationship with Steve and Meredith has suffered. Steve tried to stay in touch, and expressed his pleasure at Jill and I remaining married. But when a good buddy can't stopping make babies for one night to offer an at risk married friend a sofa bed, well you get my drift, what can you say to a friend like that. I hear they succeeded in making a baby, I wish them well. I'm just not sending out 'pick me, pick me' vibes while he's looking for Godparents. ******** Ten months three weeks, two days after forgiveness "Jill, we need to talk" Jill's eyes showed panic, the insecurities that I suspected still lurked within her, and her face fell, she rushed toward me "Honey, no, why, please, we've tried so hard, not fair, not now…." I was ready quickly to reassure her, "Easy babe." Into her hair "It's nothing like that at all." I led her to the couch, our talking couch, and announced. "Jill, I've decided its time we looked Florida in the eye….." "Honey are you sure?" "…and if Florida doesn't like that well that's just too bad for Florida. Yes, I'm sure, and Jill, I'm gong to pull rank to do this." "OK Jake, if that's what you want." "I've got some surprises when we're down there." "I'm not that keen on surprises right now darling." "I think you'll like these surprises." And we made plans and arranged for Little Jake to be shared between Jill's parents, and my Sister's family. ******************* Twelve months after forgiveness We had one week in Florida, staying at a neighbouring resort to the one that hosted the ten year reunion of the SFLS. I planned to sleep to indecent hours of the morning, brunch, walk, swim, see sights and tan Jill's breasts. After late lunch Big Jake planned to play. Then we would shower, dress and have a relaxing dinner with about two glasses too many of wine. And play again in the evening. It pretty much went to plan, although often by the evening we would just cuddle naked, and giggle, and talk. On the first day, after lunch, and a leisurely afternoon lovemaking session on the first day, I got some papers out of my bag. "Jill, I've decided to return the confession you wrote last year, and here is the medical report, e-mail passwords as well. I don't need them." Jill's eyes were shinning, she loved me. Always had. "Thank you sweetheart, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are returning these. You were absolutely right about confronting Florida." After lunch next afternoon, "Jill, I've also decided to release you from your vow of obedience." "Why darling?" "I believe I understand why you surrended to me, and in retrospect it was a good call, but I no longer need that authority, Jill, you were a modern women when we met, when we wed and when we bred. That's who I wanted then and who I want now. We need to move back into the 21st century. I miss having you to talk to about my work, and money, and where Little Jake is going to go to school, and whether we are going move into a bigger house, and all those sorts of things." "You talk to me about those things all the time." "But you just say 'Yes dear, what ever you say dear'. I think you should feel free to speak your mind more, and also enjoy normal sex." Jill considered what I'd said for a minute, "Jake, if I may? Two things, I'm completely relaxed with how you've become sort of a senior partner. I'm so proud of the way you make decisions now, you haven't made a bad call this year. Just think about this, if you hadn't been the boss last month, I wouldn't have agreed to come back to Florida this trip, and this has turned out to be the best thing since Little Jake was born. But I hear what you're saying, and I will step forward in those partnership issues more. As for the sex side of things, well let me ask you why you think I've done the extra things I've done?" "I guess to satisfy my curiosity." "Yes, partly, I'd be a pretty crappy wife to let you wonder how good those things felt when you knew I'd done them for Juan. But there was more to it than that, I wanted to thank you and also because I was petrified, that if you ended up having a revenge fuck, that you'd see how much better sex could be and maybe not come back. That's why I started doing them. But, and this is important, because I learned something about myself as well, I haven't hated anything we've done, not one thing. The other mothers in Little Jake's playgroup don't point at me and say I'm betraying the union of wives, no one sniggers in the street and says look at that slutty little cock sucker. Its not that bad. Some of it, or perhaps I should some of the time, I really enjoy doing those extra things, and you know darling, the rest of the time I'm happy, very happy, because your happy." Here she paused to give me time to catch up, then looked at me coyly. "Am I to assume that following this wonderful trip that a revenge fuck is off the agenda?" "Yes Jill, a revenge fuck is off the agenda." I felt like adding it never was on the agenda, I take my fidelity seriously, but I didn't say it, the time for little digs like that was well passed. "And could I assume that you truly forgive me now?" What the fuck, that was the best lie I had ever told. "Jake, I knew you were lying, but for you to lie, well that meant something, and that was good enough for this wife. So boyo, I can speak plainly now can't I? Before you decide to stop tapping me on the shoulder, can I suggest you ask some of your colleagues how many blow jobs they've had in the last month and then see whether you'd like to change with them, mmmmm?" "Well when you put it like that, if its not being perceived by you as a punishment, then yeah, absolutely I would be honoured to keep tapping you on the shoulder, Jill, just like this?" "What sort of a tap was that dear? A doggie type tap, or a blow me please tap." Decisions again. Damn the women. "It was a doggie tap Jill" "Well you should go 'woof' when your tapping, it saves time." As she assumed the doggie position. And that ended that discussion. And I could see already how having a wife free to speak her mind would be a good thing. Another great Jake decision. Third afternoon "Firstly Jill this one you shouldn't have a problem with, I would like you to take that bracelet off. That is demeaning, I only kind of understood why you proposed wearing it, and only played along because you didn't have any panties on in the jewellers shop and I lost my logical thought processes. But I don't need to you to wear it now, surely you don't want to." With this I handed her both of the keys. "OK Jake, can I leave it until we get home though." and she handed the keys back with an absent minded "Pity, it was handy." "Why is it a pity?" "Well when men hit on me, I just flash this and they back off." "Well in that case, perhaps we'll talk more at home. And I know I wanted you to go back on the pill a year or so ago, but now I want you to stop." "This is what I've been saying, another great decision." I shut her up with a tap on the shoulder. Second last day, I'd timed this carefully, we might need a whole last day digesting what this afternoon brought. We had one final gesture that needed to be made, together, before Florida was put to bed. Jill was just busting to know what I had planned, but I teased her for a while. Finally. "Jill?" "Yes dear I'm ready." "Ready for what?" "Whatever you have for me." "What about what I just gave you" "That was nice too." "You need to come for a walk with me, to understand the last thing we need to do." "OK lets go." "You'll need some clothes dear." "Opps!" We walked for nearly 2 hours, I needed that time to summon my courage, Jill had only thrown a small bikini on, one that normally made me want to tap her on the shoulder. It wasn't really appropriate for the length walk we ended up taking, and the other tourists and locals certainly enjoyed the view. I barely noticed. And with the tension of the evening I became oblivious to her beauty. Jill respected my mood and we walked pretty much in silence. She trusted me. It was about 6 in the evening by the time we walked back past 'that' resort, to the jetty where the boat tours landed. Had I timed this right? Courage Jake. I was confident that our relationship was strong enough to handle this last chapter. We admired the panorama, the boats, then I took a deep breath, left her side and walked up to a smelly old fisherman, sitting out of everybody's way. He was scanning the water eagerly, and didn't notice me. "Thanks for the loan of the hat, Frank" and took it off my head and placed it back on his bag. "Your welcome son…say, no, no, no, don't tell me …. You're from Boston?.....You've exercised,…..Jake…..that's it, look good, Jake real good. Never forget a face, especially if he likes tits much as me. I never forget a nice pair of titties either, and good afternoon to you too Miss, I mean Ma'am, nice evening…. not going boating again by any chance are you?" "Ummm no, not this time." "Pity" he said with a grin. Jill, stunned at the dawning implications of this little meeting, did manage to respond with a weak smile of her own. "Son, you want to do some fishing again" and he pointed at his binoculars and laughed. "No, don't need to Frank, but thanks, and thanks again for the hat, have a good evening" I led a stunned Jill away by the hand, back to our room. "Take care Jake, and you too ma'am." ******** Well there it is, my first story. Hope you enjoyed it. I consciously avoided having this edited, as I wanted my virgin story to be all mine. If I persevere, rest assured I will seek advice for future stories. One thought, - I wasn't brave enough to try and write Jill's confession, and don't really like female roles written by men – but maybe there is a lady author out there who would like to write it Jill's story for us.